#non binary people don’t need to use all pronouns to be nonbinary

[iconsumethesoulsofthedamned]

Tired of people implying any gender identity is more boring and or worse than another no that trans woman isn’t boring for being a binary trans woman no that cis dude isn’t a bad guy because he’s cis no that nonbinary person who uses they/them isn’t boring for not using more pronouns what are we doing guys stop it stop it right now.

[dysphoric-culture-is]

Not dysphoric culture, sorry, but does mod have any tips on socially transitioning, especially in school? I’m not even out yet, but I like to make plans for what I’m gonna do to make me feel less stuck in the closet, but I’ve only ever really thought about medical transition and don’t really know how to go about socially transitioning. (Afab, nonbinary, want to be perceived as neutral/masculine, if that’s any help)

Don’t apologize anon, mod is here to (try) to give advice!

Mod actually came out at school a couple of years ago (a conservative middle/high school where mod was one of the first publicly out not binary people) so. Here is some stuff.

Support:

Find a good friend group, and ideally also a decent guidance counselor who will not out you before you’re ready

Some fake friends will continue to misgender and deadname you. If this continues for months on end and you keep reminding them, they may not be a real friend

Meet other queer and trans people in your school! Join a GSA/acceptance club if there’s one! Find a trans person in your school that’s older than you and ask them for advice!!

Older trans people in your school can sometimes help you buy gender-affirming products (ex: if they can have it shipped to their house and can use their card, and then you pay them back in cash, for safety reasons etc) or queer merch.

If you want your name and gender marker to be changed in the school’s system you often have to go through the guidance department. Depending on where you live you do not need parental consent for this and do not let the guidance department bully you into it. You shouldn't need a court order either

Google classroom/digitization of education has made life harder for trans students because you will see the wrong name and pronouns listed everywhere. Schools with ID cards have this problem but worse because even if you cover up the name with a sticker, whenever your ID is scanned it will out you. Some places even require students to scan IDs to use the bathroom- a double nightmare for trans students.

Student pictures are cringe. Try to dress as gender-affirming as possible for picture day and remember that you’re likely only being photographed from the shoulders up (chest dysphoria = not your biggest problem)

Not all school systems have a nonbinary marker. Mod’s school pretended not to have one and it took some digging and anxious waiting to get one (mod has since gotten it, is one of the first students in the school’s history to have one, and is spreading resources to other trans and nonbinary students in the school community). For you anon if you can’t get an X/O/N/etc marker you can get a M, which may not be completely accurate but it might make you less dysphoric as compared to a F

Yearbooks might have pre-transition photos of you or even elementary school photos of you so try to speak to someone on the yearbook committee/club about it. Senior year in general can be a nightmare if you’re trans/nb because so many pictures are taken of you and a lot of old photos/letters are dug up

The uncomfortable stuff:

You need to use the bathroom especially if you do after-school activities. This is non-negotiable and far too many trans people (especially transmascs + nonbinary people who were AFAB) get UTIs by avoiding the bathroom all day. Using a public bathroom may be dysphoria inducing but having to see a urologist/gynecologist is much worse. But it’s true that school bathrooms suck! Find one that is the least suck-y (clean, not used very often, ideally gender-neutral) and try to use that one. Not all schools have a gender neutral bathroom, and the ones that do may only have one dirty, single-person bathroom for the entire school (like mod’s). For your case specifically anon if you feel you pass well enough/don’t pass but have enough support at school you can try to use the men’s room. The thing about using the men’s restroom is you have to walk in with confidence (fake confidence is okay too!) and act unbothered.

Mod has never heard of a gender-neutral school locker room, at least below the college level, ever. The good thing is that a lot of students no longer have to change for gym, or that some schools will give nonbinary students the option of changing in the gender neutral bathroom instead. (At mod’s school, their ‘nonbinary inclusive’ policy [which likely did not exist until mod asked about it] is that nonbinary students can choose which gendered locker room they’d like to use! How very inclusive and totally not avoiding the problem! [sarcasm]) You can ask a gym teacher to keep your bag in their office or leave your bag in the gym to avoid the locker rooms.

Your peers:

They might be transphobic, they might be supportive, or they might just not care. Either way they will probably misgender you purely because they knew you pre-transition. Mod has people in school that mod went to elementary school with and many of them are literally the worst. It's a horrible feeling to know that some people will always see you as [deadname and what your AGAB was] even if you 'pass' or correct people. But unless you transfer to another school there is nothing you can do about that.

Just find people who support you, ideally fellow trans people, and ignore those guys.

Transitioning:

You've probably seen a bunch of tips for gender presentation and might have done some already. For masculine/masc-leaning neutral some are: men's clothing, shorter hair, makeup to contour, binding/packing, layered clothing, etc. Some behavioral changes are voice training (do not rely only on T to change your voice if that's your plan!), taking on more masculine speech patterns, walking more confidently, exercising (target certain areas to create a more masculine shape), etc.

The actual coming out part:

Coming out is scary. Friends can encourage you, but you also have to come out to them first.

Most teachers mod has talked to about being queer have been at least polite/tolerant about it. There hasn’t been any outright hostility, but there has been more subtle transphobia. And mod uses neopronouns in a conservative place! The only major issue was when mod sent a teacher an email about mod’s pronouns + nb inclusive curriculum and he sent the email to the principal without asking (wild stuff. He agreed to use they/them for mod, but also denied taking responsibility for his curriculum excluding queer people).

If you want to come out at school but not at home, you can email/talk to your teachers in person and tell them to call you ___ in school and your deadname/wrong pronouns in front of your parents. Some counselors will email your teachers for you if you’re scared of your parents reading your emails/searching your device

You can write your chosen name almost wherever you want! You do not need it changed it the system to use it and especially if you’re writing on paper you can use it.

You are your biggest advocate! You need to get really good at standing up for yourself. Catering to or being nice to transphobes will usually not help you. You will probably need to push people: 'my pronouns are ____' not 'I prefer ____', 'what is the policy on nonbinary students, and if one doesn't exist how are we going to make one' not 'is there a nonbinary policy', 'I will wear the _____ uniform' not 'is it ok for trans people to wear the _____ uniform', 'call me ____' not 'um I have a preferred name and it's ____ is that okay', 'how will you make room for me' not 'can you make room for me' etc. It is not rude to be assertive! Transphobes will call you rude for simply existing in a way they don't like. Make sure to be clear about what you need and don't give them room to evade your requests. Nonbinary students who will come to your school several years from now will thank you.

It’s good that you’re planning ahead for coming out anon because that can make it less overwhelming, but overthinking can also really get you. If planning your coming out (which may or may not happen soon) starts to only stress you out and not give you any joy then you maybe need to take a break.

There's a lot more stuff but this is just a general overview so if you have more specific questions please send in another ask! Good luck anon!

[etherealspacejelly]

Neopronouns are not even real pronouns. A pronoun is a noun used to describe a living being. They/Them is fine, they are real pronouns used in the English language. And yes, while I think there is no possible way for someone who has boy or girl genes to actually be non-binary, I will respect them as a person. But, neopronouns, however, are way over the top. I’ve seen people online who identify as like, xe/xem. That’s ridiculous, they’re not even a part of the English language. I’ve seen one person who identified as shark/sharkself. That is so annoying. I’m not gonna call you “shark” bro. Nobody is gonna call you that, except for maybe people as delusional as you. So, I’m conclusion, yes, neopronouns are ridiculous and stupid and unnecessary. Whoever uses them certainly needs mental help, but instead we are celebrating and giving them parades and telling them it’s fine and not stupid at all to identify as a fucking shark.

That being said, if we Normalize these outrageous neopronouns, I don't think I'll be able to handle meeting another three or more person with unique neopronouns, I don’t think I'll care about memorizing them if we don’t get along. I can only imagine that inside their head they are going like “Why can’t everyone understand me? why can’t anyone respect me? why can’t anyone get along with me? me… me…me…”. This is just starting to become a narcissistic play.  It’s just sad that you yourself are intentionally creating a situation that excludes you from other people. You are making yourself too different, you eventually get depressed, commit die and well, will anybody care about you in the end?

Pronouns replace nouns and they are a part of a language. Not something we just make up because we think we are more special than anyone else.

Also, this stuff only appeals to children, or adults with some sort of arrested development. No mature human being would want to go by “cupcakeself”.

We all have names. If you want to rebel against pronouns why can’t you just use your name? Be “Johnself” or “Sallyself” or something people can remember. We aren’t going to trouble ourselves to memorize some made up nounself words.

You’re lucky if we can remember your name let alone some made up ridiculousness.

I hope everyone with neopronouns die.

hey anon. anon. just a question for you. does that Actually Genuinely affect you? like at all? do you know anyone in real life who uses neopronouns? or is it just people online who are literally just minding their business. hmm?

also. all words are made up dingus it came free with your fucking language. we make up words all the time. selfie is in the dictionary now. it wasnt 50 years ago. does that make it not a real word? no. it does not. because language is a tool used by human beings to describe ourselves and the world around us, and to communicate ideas and knowledge. do you think we just. found a dictionary under a rock one day?

if neopronouns bother you that much, just block people who use them. block the neopronoun tag. or perhaps just get off tumblr. touch some grass. focus on a real problem instead of people online using words you dont like. there are people dying right now anon. the planet is on fire. sharkself pronouns arent hurting you.

also. you said that neopronouns only appeal to children, then said that all neopronoun users should die. so... you think children should die? you want children to kill themselves anon? is that what you want? you seem like a lovely person /s

and seeing as you mentioned nonbinary people. you know that there are more sexes than just male and female right? like biologically. they taught you male and female in school to simplify things for your developing brain, like how they tell you that electrons are particles and you cant square root -1. but once you start studying these things at a more in depth level, you realise that they arent that simple at all. biological sex exists on a spectrum. it is a collection of attributes that can behave any number of ways. including hormones, genitalia, chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, and more.

furthermore, gender and sex are not the same thing. but i cant be bothered to explain that to you because you will refuse to understand it anyway, and ive wasted enough time talking to you as it is.

if you send me anything like this again im just going to delete it, but i wanted to at least try and talk some sense into you first.

[my-castles-crumbling]

i’m having a bit of a gender dilemma at the moment.

i’m comfortable in my body, and i’m cool with she/her pronouns, but sometimes I feel a bit off.

i just think it’d be nice to go by they/them. Like, maybe not all the time but sometimes?

I told a friend of mine and she said i’d been indoctrinated by non-binary people… she wasn’t the best person to tell in hindsight but it sorta slipped out.

i don’t know really how to test it, i’d feel weird asking my friends to use they/them pronouns for me. They’re not like my other friend or anything, just wouldn’t get it. They’re not brilliantly educated on the topic and they’re not totally cool with the fact that i’m Bi.

Whenever I think about, or someone happens to use it, I quite like it. They/them pronouns. Plus i’m a lot more comfortable being referred to as a ‘partner’ and not ‘girlfriend’ or “wife” (i’m not married but just imagining it feels off). It’s not like, totally overwhelming, the feeling. It’s just sort of… there. Like it’d be nicer, but it’d be a lot of effort to explain it to people?

I guess i’m asking because you go by They/them/she. I assume it’s different for everyone but i don’t know. Could you maybe tell me a bit about how you knew you preferred (or liked) they/them pronouns? If you don’t mind 💖

Thank youuuuu

Hi! <3

So, I think the first thing that happened to me when I was thinking about my gender was learning about the concept of 'gender envy.' Or basically...seeing how a person expresses their gender and being like....'damn. I want that. I want to be that.' Once I realized I had gender envy for not just girls, I followed some nonbinary creators and listened to them talk about their experiences and feelings.

Then, of course, I did nothing for about three months. I let it eat at me and I denied it.

After a while, though, I confessed what I was feeling to my wife and my brother and I asked both of them to use they/them for me. I started expressing myself in more genderfluid ways and I researched a LOT.

The rest is history lol.

I mean from what you're saying, it sounds like you should do some research and some experimentation. Research different nonbinary identities. Decide which ones, if any, sound nice to you. Try expressing your gender in different ways, even if it's just alone in your room. Try experimenting with makeup and contour to shape your face differently. Hell, give yourself facial hair with mascara and see if you like it. Ask people online to refer to you with different pronouns and see how it feels. And try lots of different things! Pay attention to what feels bad, what feels weird but good, and what feels euphoric.

Also, for the record, it's okay to try all these things and decide, in the end, you're good with she/her pronouns. You don't have to be afraid of whatever the results may be.

Let me know if you need any help (including using any pronouns with you). You've got this, and you have a lot of people on here who are cheering you on!

<3 <3 <3

[coochiequeens]

Long article but worth the read.

Some things make less sense the more you study them: the SNP’s finances, Joe Biden’s sentences… and being nonbinary.

Nonbinary is an umbrella term used to describe those people who believe they are outside the gender binary. They believe that they are neither male nor female.

When you ask nonbinaries what they mean by this, the response usually boils down to men saying they feel kinda feminine sometimes, and women saying they kinda don’t. It’s not exactly The Communist Manifesto. When you point out that some men and women have felt this way since time immemorial, without feeling the need to turn it into a political cause, nonbinary males become aggressive and nonbinary females become sulky. All of which suggests that this nonbinary LARP may require some more thought.

If, like me, you prefer to identify as non-lunatic, you might be tempted to dismiss the nonbinary phenomenon as a passing fad, like the Tamagotchi ‘egg’ toys popular among children a couple of decades ago. But there’s a difference between the idea of nonbinary and fads like Tamagotchis, especially among the young. Schools banned Tamagotchis in the 1990s because they were a distraction. This time, our public institutions, from multinational corporations to medical bodies, are actively promoting the idea that you can be neither male nor female.

Advocates themselves seem unclear as to what ‘nonbinary’ means. Some seem unsure where to draw the line between being nonbinary and being trans. The huge American LGBTQ+ charity, the Trevor Project, insists that ‘It’s important to note that not all nonbinary folks identify as trans’. But the UK’s LGBT Foundation argues that nonbinary fits under the so-called trans umbrella. This isn’t much help, however, since the trans umbrella has by now grown so huge it could be used to protect the polar ice caps.

Throughout much of the 20th century, the prefix ‘trans’ tended to be used in relation to transvestites or transsexuals. It implied a transition from one gender or sex to the other. But this started to change in the 1990s. Disappointed by the physical results of transitioning – think big-jawed, deep-voiced ‘transwomen’ and miniature, small-boned ‘transmen’ – the trans lobby started to look for a new vocabulary that might capture what it is to be neither male nor female.

Activist Riki Wilchins played a key role in the development of nonbinary. He originally came to prominence in 1991, when he co-founded Camp Trans, an annual protest against the exclusion of transwomen from the women-only Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. In the mid-1990s, he sowed the seeds for the idea of being nonbinary by coining a new term to describe himself – namely, ‘genderqueer’.

It was a fortuitous moment for Wilchins. From the late 1990s onwards, with queer theory flourishing in universities in the UK and the US, a slew of new identities and neologisms were being turned out, from agender and bigender to demigender and genderfluid. Nonbinary started to be used by activists and academics to encompass these new identities in the 2000s. Indeed, in 2002, Wilchins co-authored the tellingly titled Genderqueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary.

It wasn’t really until the latter half of the 2010s that nonbinary moved from the spheres of academia and activism and into mainstream culture – largely because an army of idiot celebrities embraced it.

Singer Sam Smith was one such bandwagon-jumper. In 2019, he declared himself to be ‘nonbinary’ and embraced ‘they / them’ pronouns. Smith was once an attractive young gay man. In his new nonbinary guise, he has come to resemble someone forced to twerk in fishnets as a prank.

See rest of article

[staygoldsquatchling02]

Bigotry Kills

Word count: 5443

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Trans Masculine Non-Binary Reader

Summary: While on a case in Tennessee, Spencer and Y/N accidentally reveal that Y/n is transgender to an unsub who has made it his mission to ride his small town of people he views as “disgusting rat” 

Warning: Criminal Minds typical violence, bigoted beliefs about trans people and the LGBTQ+, the use of Transvestite once (It hurt to wright that), Mentions of injury, mentions of reader wearing a chest binder, that's all i can think off let me know if there is anything else 

A/N: this is my first time writing in like 5 years so it's probably shit but I’ve wanted xreader fics like this for a while but could never find any, so I said fuck it and wrote it myself. This is also a submission for @the-guilty-writer​ ‘s Pride fic Challenge so I hope people enjoy it. Again, this was also written as a self-indulgent fic, so the reader is written as a Trans Masculine Non-binary afab person who uses They/Them pronouns. Also Just putting it out there I don’t hate Christians as a whole just the bigots who use religion to justify genocide. Anyways enjoy and let me know if you like it, I would like to get back into writing again so who knows there may be more to come.  MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

  The team had traveled to a small town in rural Tennessee that had seen a recent influx of homicide in the last two weeks. Four bodies had been found in different alleyways beaten and strangled, the only things connecting the murders was the cause of death and the fact that they were all disposed of by dumpsters as if the unsub saw them as trash. The local P.D. had called the B.A.U in order to find out why these victims and who is doing it.

   The team had made the long flight all on edge because after the initial briefing their resident genius had figured out the one thing connecting all four victims. They were all members of the LGBTQIA+ community and that fact did not sit well as the newest member of the team was also a member of the community.

   Y/N Y/L/N had joined the B.A.U roughly a year ago and they had become a very close member of the team. In half that year they had also grown very close with Dr. Spencer Reid and the both of them were exploring a relationship as they both shared an interest in Dr. Who and learning as much as they could about whatever they could. The nature of the case put both on edge, if it somehow became knowledge that Y/N was a trans masculine nonbinary individual and in a relationship with Spencer, it might make one or both of them a target of the unsub. Before they arrived at the local police station, Spencer and Y/N had agreed to try and keep their interactions professional when around anyone other than the team. 

   Upon arrival at the police station the team split up to go over everything they needed. Morgan and Prentiss went to the most recent crime scene, Hotch, JJ, and Y/N went to the police station to speak with the local P.D, and Spencer and Rossi went to talk with the families of the victims to find out anything they could about the victims. While in the small board room provided to them to work in, Y/N was making observations about the unsub and their habits.

  “It seems the unsub view those in the LGBTQ+ community as less than himself and as something that needs purged from the world.” Y/N said with an uncomfortable look on their face.

  “It’s highly likely that is the case, this is a small town in Tennessee, places like these aren’t known for their overly welcoming tendencies towards people they view as different from the rest.” JJ had responded back to them and confirmed what most of the team had been thinking. 

  As Y/N and JJ were finishing their conversation Rossi and Spencer returned from visiting the families. “The victims were all open about themselves so much so that they were ready to get out of this small town, the first two victims had jobs already lined up and apartments ready to move into within a week of when they were killed.” Rossi had shared upon entering the room.

   “So we know that the victims were ready to get out of the small town, the likely hood of the stressor that triggered these killings was likely a family member who was also part of the community left the unsub after being tired of getting treated poorly and finally made decided enough was enough and made the change.” Hotch deduced before leaving to call Garcia, to have her look for anything that would correspond with the beginning of the murders.

  After Hotch left the room Y/N leaned back in their chair to stretch as they have been wearing their chest binder for the past nine hours and stiffness was starting to set in around their rib cage. Being the ever attentive boyfriend that he is, Spencer noticed his significant other's discomfort and checked around the room to make sure it was only the team in the room as Morgan and Prentiss had both returned as well.

   After feeling confident there were no outsiders who would hear their conversation he walked over to Y/N and sat next to them. “Hey you’ve been wearing your binder since this morning, i can tell it is starting to bother you. I packed one of your baggie shirts and sports bras in my bag because you tend to forget you can't wear it longer than eight hours before feeling uncomfortable. You should really change. I don’t want you to cause yourself any unnecessary pain.” Spencer had said while handing them his satchel.

   “I’m fine, I promise. Plus wouldn't it be a major hint that I'm trans if I’ve spent the whole day flat chested and wearing a button upland then all of a sudden being in a baggie shirt with tits. I appreciate the concern but I don't know if it's the right idea, I’ll change as soon as we get back to the hotel I promise.” Y/N responded while placing Spencer’s bag on the ground.

 “Fine, but as soon as we get back to D.C you are taking a couple days without it, just to give you a break from it and let your chest relax.” Spencer responded out of concern for his partner’s health.

   What the young couple failed to notice was the young officer who walked by the cracked open door while they were deep in their own little conversation. Hearing that one of the FBI agents that was brought in to catch this serial killer in a small town is one of the disgusting people he was trying to remove from his community.

  Shortly after the conversation about Y/N’s binding choices, Hotch got back after speaking with Garcia. Apparently she was unable to find any families where a queer member had left the city around the time the murders started. So they were back to square one on what the trigger was. Without a trigger they were almost back to square one on the profile, all they know is that the unsub is a homophobic sociopath who was losing control and would likely be searching for their next victim. Even with a murderer on the loose, Hotch ordered the team to go to the hotel and rest for the night; they would need all the energy they could get for the coming days of hunting this bastard. 

  After the black SUVs pulled up to the hotel the team unloaded and headed inside. “Shit, I left my wallet in the car. I'll be up in a minute” Y/N said as the team entered the elevator of the hotel, Spencer made a move to follow them when they turned and insisted, they would be fine on their own. It was just a short walk to cars. 

 As Y/N reached the SUV and opened the door they felt a presence behind them. “Spence, I said I was-” They started as they turned around but were cut off by a blow to the side of their head knocking them unconscious and into the SUV. The unsub then closed the door to SUV and climbed into the driver's seat after taking the keys from Y/N’s pocket and drove away. 

  That night Spencer sat up waiting for about twenty minutes for Y/N to get back from getting their wallet before deciding something had to be wrong. He jumped out of the bed and headed towards the other rooms, he went door to door waking the whole team trying to see if any of them had seen Y/N. To no avail, none of them had seen them since they left the elevator. 

  The team immediately started calling their phone and heading outside to the SUVs, only to notice that one of the three SUVs was gone. With no answer on the phone and the missing SUV Spencer started to worry about their safety. While looking around the area for any sign of what had happened Morgan saw something that made the whole team’s stomachs drop.

  “Hey guys I got blood on the ground where the SUV was parked.” Morgan shouted and this did nothing for Spencer’s anxiety. Hearing all of this, Hotch ordered Reid, Prentiss, and JJ to head to the police station to go over what information they have and try to figure anything else out that they could. While they did that, he, Rossi, and Morgan stayed at the hotel to try and find any other clues that they may have missed.

   Meanwhile in Y/N was waking up tied to a chair in a room that was cold and dark almost like a basement. Their head felt groggy and almost like they had just spent the night drinking straight vodka. They looked around as best as they could in the dark and from what they could tell they were most likely in a basement. As they were trying to figure out any details they could about their location, a light appeared at the top of the stairs presumably from the unsub opening the door.

  Y/N sat in silence as the unsub slowly made his way down the stairs, with the only light coming from behind the man the only thing they were able to make out was the fact that the unsub was taller and muscular indicating that it was most likely a man. The man got closer and realized that they were awake;

  “Welcome back to the land of the living, you abomination.” he greeted with a sneer. “ I bet you are wondering how I figured you out so quickly, and to put it simply, next time your boyfriend wants to discuss something that is meant to be private information he should probably close a door first.”

 A look of realization flashed across their face when they figured out that the unsub had to be someone close to the investigation or at least an officer that was in the building when Reid was trying to get them to change out of their binder.

  “You seem shocked, is it really that far of a stretch for the killer to be part of the police department, and wasn't it also you who said that the unsub would try to insert themselves into the investigation.” the unsub responded to the unasked question present on Y/N’s face.

  “ Well now I know you work for the police but that doesn't tell me who you are or why you are doing this, if you are planning to kill me might as well tell me your whole plan while you are at it.” they responded trying to get any information they could out of this man. They knew that no matter what their team wouldn't let this man get away with taking them. Their team would do everything in their power to save them.

  “You seem so sure that I’m just going to kill you like the others, oh no no, I have plans for you. How could I say that I’m making this world a better place by removing you pests if I didn't make an example of the rat who somehow made it into law enforcement with the FBI. I bet you did it just to try and get away with grooming people into believing that what you are is normal. How disgusting to think the FBI would let such gross creatures into their ranks, once I make an example out of you, I might go after that doctor you call a boyfriend.” The unsub ranted not answering Y/N’s questions directly but still revealing part of his plans.

  The fear started to set in for Y/N as they realized that they were going to be getting the worst of this man's torture so far out of all of his victims, but they also began to fear for Spencer because once his crazed lunatic grows tired of them, he’s going after the one thing Y/N cares about more than their own life. They have to truly hope that the team finds them before this man grows tired of them.

  “Now enough with the chit chat,” the unsub turned towards a table that Y/N hadn’t seen at first and grabbed a tripod and camera while opening a laptop. “Get ready for that sweet boyfriend of yours to hear what it sounds like when a knife carves through your flesh.”

  As the man set up the camera all Y/N could think about was hoping that Spencer would never have to do this and the team would be barging into thai basement before he finished turning on the camera. But sadly luck was not on their side.

  Meanwhile back at the police station Spencer was freaking out, all he could think about was how it was his fault for bringing up Y/N’s binder without closing the door to the office they were sitting in. He kept pacing the office space trying to remember any face that appeared in the doorway during their conversation that could possibly be the unsub but came up blank. JJ was trying to calm him down while Emily was on the phone with Penelope trying to find any other connection between the victims.

  “Spence this isn't your fault, any of us could have said something that let the unsub know. All you can do now is help us figure out where the unsub took Y/N.” JJ said, trying to get Spencer to sit down and think rationally.

   “JJ, how on earth am I supposed to calm down, an hour before they were taken I was blabbing my mouth at them because they needed to take off their binder so they didn't hurt themself, and then I didn't go with them to get their wallet and left them alone at night in a town where people just like them are being kidnapped and murdered, only for them to be KIDNAPPED. How am I supposed to be calm when the love of my life is probably experiencing the worst possible pain at this very moment?” Spencer went off at JJ. He wasn’t trying to be rude, he's just so upset with himself that he can’t think properly at the moment. 

  JJ was slightly shocked by his outburst because in the six months that Y/N and Spencer have been seeing each other, never has she heard either of them say the L word. It was a huge thing and changed the feeling in the room in an instant. Because now they weren’t just looking for their friend and coworker, they were looking for someone who held Spencer’s heart in their hands.

 “Hey guys Garcia might have found a connection between the victims other than the obvious.” Emily said entering the office space unaware of the declaration of love from the genius pacing the room. “Go ahead, you're on speaker.”

  “Ok, so I’ve done some digging and found that about a week before the abductions each of the victims had made a post to various social media platforms talking about how they’ve been the victims of hate crimes in the area. Each described that slurs and obscene images were posted on their front doors along with threats of violence if they didn’t leave town. They also mentioned that when they went to the police about it, they were brushed off and told not to worry about it.” Penelope explained over the phone.

  “So the unsub had made contact with each of the victims before taking them and the Police didn’t make the connection or just didn't bother to include the fact that each of them had received threats before they were killed.” JJ said taking in the fact that this small town police department has done these poor people a horrible injustice by not taking threats seriously.

 “If the unsub was taking the time to threaten the victims before taking them, why did he just take Y/N. doesn't that go against his ritual?” Emily asked confused as to why the unsub would suddenly stop doing something that seemed important to his M.O.

  “Because he knew he wouldn’t be able to get close enough to Y/N in order to do that, He knew that if he wanted to take them, he would have to act fast.” Hotch said as he, Rossi, and Morgan rejoined the group at the station.

  “Ummm Guys you need to see this.” Penelope said as a video feed started on her computer at Quantico.

  “ What is it, Garcia?” Rossi asked as the technical analyst sounded almost scared by what she was seeing.

  “It’s a live video, of Y/N, I'm not sure where it’s coming from as its being routed through hundreds of servers so it hard to track but it is for sure Y/N” She said as started connecting to the laptop set up in the Office where the team was currently seated.

  As the video feed popped up on the screen one this was clear, Y/N was tied to a chair in what looked like a basement. The team could tell that Y/N was looking at something or someone just out of line of sight of the camera with a hint of fear in their eyes. After a few seconds of just Y/N in the line of the camera a man walked into frame wearing a dark hoodie and with the hood up covering his face.

  “Hello FBI, as you already know I have in my possession the filthy transvestite that managed to infiltrate your ranks, let this be a message to all those homosexuals who wish to justify their disgusting behavior, that justice will always find them. Without further ado enjoy the show, well except you Dr. Reid I suspect that this will be particularly painful for you to watch.” The man stated and then turned towards the fear-stricken Y/N and held up a large knife to their chest.

 The team watched as the unsub dragged the knife over Y/N’s chest and down their torso cutting open their shirt and binder revealing their chest beneath both layers of clothing. After cutting through the only thing protecting Y/N’s dignity and skin the unsub started making shallow cuts across their skin. Y/N did their best to keep their whimpers and whines of pain to a minimum, trying to spare their team the trauma of hearing their friend be hurt by this monster.

  When the man realized what they were doing he took the knife away and turned to the table having thought of a better way to draw out cries of pain from his current victim. He reached for a different knife, this one being shorter in length than the first but having a serrated edge like a knife one would use to cut bread. Taking the new knife in his hand he turned back to Y/N and plunged the knife directly into their shoulder, drawing out the most nerve racking scream the team had heard in a long while.

  Having watched enough of his love being tortured even though he knew the worst was yet to come, Spencer reached between the team who were all watching with their breath held and slammed the laptop closed and left the room. Shocked by the sudden outburst the team as a whole jumped and looked after the upset doctor as he left the room.

  “Garcia, Keep trying to locate where the feed is coming from. Morgan go talk to him, we need his head clear to find this guy.” Hotch ordered while the rest of them reeled from what they had just seen happen to one of their friends. 

  Back with Y/N after Spencer had slammed the laptop shut, the Unsub had proceeded to stab them again, this time in the leg. Y/N wasn’t sure if it was from blood loss or just pain in general but black spots started to fill their vision. As they started to pass out the unsub set his knife back down on the table and turned once again to the camera to address the audience on the other side unaware that the one he wanted to cause the most pain was no longer watching,

  “Looks like you're having trouble staying awake at the moment, I suppose I can give you a small break. I doubt your team is close to finding me, so enjoy this brief intermission” The unsub stated and then walked off camera, up the stairs and slammed and locked the basement door.

  “Hold on just a little longer Y/N” Penelope to herself in her office, knowing they couldn’t hear her but still hoping that they knew the team would not give up until they found them.

  At the police station Morgan had managed to get Spencer to calm down, if only slightly, so he could help finalize the profile. They both knew that the best way to save Y/N is if Spencer is focused on finding the Unsub and not just on saving them. 

 With the whole team back in the office with the door shut, JJ made an observation that would significantly shrink the suspect pool. “I Just remembered that last night around the time you and Y/N were talking the only people who were in the station were us, a couple beat cops and a couple detectives. So, the unsub has to work in the station.” She pointed out to Spencer and the rest of the team.

  “That would make sense with the fact that the victims had tried to make police reports about the threats they received and were told to ignore them. If the unsub happened to be the one taking the report, he wouldn’t want people to be looking into it so he would brush them off.” Emily said.

   “So, we keep this between us, I’ll have Garcia look into what officers were here before we left for the night and compare it to who the victims spoke to when they tried to report the threats.” Morgan stated while calling Garcia.

  “Hey Baby Girl, I need you to compare what officers were at the station last night to what officers were at the station when each of the victims tried to make reports.” Morgan asked Penelope over the phone with a sense of urgency.

  “I have two officers who were there at the same time as all the victims but only an officer Randy McNally was also there last night, doing a little digging, Randy McNally is a conservative Christian man who openly detests the LGBTQ+ community. To top it of three weeks ago his wife left him after coming out as bisexual and since then he has made numerous posts about how the people of the LGBTQ+ community are vermin who need to be eradicated.” Penelope said with a grimace.

  “Sounds like we found our guy, Garcia send the address.” Hotch ordered as the rest of the team prepared for apprehending this psychopath.

  “Already sent. Guys please hurry, Y/N doesn’t look too good.”  She responded before hanging up the phone for the team to do their job.

  As the team was loading up in the SUVs Hotch called Spencer over to him, “I want you to stay in the car when we get there, I don’t need you being reckless. The rest of us will go in and get them, you will wait outside with the paramedics and go with them to the hospital. Understood?”

  “How am i supposed to sit back while you guys go in there, I need Y/N to know that I came for them. I can’t sit around and wait.” Spencer responded antsy about saving his partner.

  “You do not have a clear enough head to be going in there. I want to save them just as much as you but we need the people going in to be able to arrest McNally so he can face justice for what he has done. I can't risk you seeing the state Y/N is in and just shooting him on the spot.” Hotch responded as they pulled up to the house, they knew their friend was in. Spencer just let out an exasperated sigh but agreed with Hotch, although he did get out of the car to wait by the ambulance for them to bring out his love.

  Upon entering the house, the team was faced with a shocked Randy McNally who froze in place as the B.A.U and swat team moved in. It was obvious he wasn’t expecting to be caught so soon as he was still wearing the blood covered hoodie he was wearing while torturing Y/N. Hotch moved forward and handcuffed McNally.

  While Hotch and Rossi moved Randy out of the house; JJ and Emily moved towards the upper floors to make sure no one else was in the house. Morgan made his way to the basement door intending to find his friend and bring them back to relieve the stress of one of his closest friends. As he descended the stairs into the basement, he could see them hunched over tied to the chair, seeing them he put his gun down and moved quickly to untie them, while speaking into his comms. 

  “I found Y/N, they’re alive but they’ve lost a lot of blood, I need the paramedics to meet me at the door to the basement.” He said in only slight relief. On the other end of the comms Spencer let out a sigh of relief if only for a second, they had made it in time Y/N was alive. But as quickly as the relief came it was gone with the other part of Morgan’s message, they had lost a significant amount of blood, they needed to get to a hospital asap. With the realization he told the paramedics to go meet with Morgan so they could help save the love of his life.

  As the paramedics and the rest of the team emerged from the house Spencer was quick to meet with the paramedic to see with his own eyes that Y/N was in fact breathing. Their chest was moving slowly as they were being pushed to the ambulance, but it was enough for Spencer to have at least a small glimmer of hope that everything would be fine. Once they had Y/N loaded up in the ambulance Spencer hopped in with them after sending a nod at the rest of the team confirming they will see each other at the hospital, and he will keep them updated on Y/N’s condition.

  Roughly three hours later the team was sitting in the waiting room, hoping the doctor would be out soon to tell them that everything is okay, and that Y/N will make a full recovery. Emily and JJ were on the phone with Penelope keeping her updated, Morgan was trying to distract Spencer from the intrusive thoughts clouding his mind, and Hotch and Rossi were both just sitting quietly when the doctor finally came to speak with them.

  “I’m guessing you are the ones here for Ms. Y/L/N?” the doctor said not registering the mistake in pronouns but continuing with speaking to the group. “The surgery went well; we were able to repair the damaged tissue in her shoulder. She should be awake shortly, so you are free to go in and visit her.” He said and started to turn away after giving them Y/N’s room number.

  Spencer was about to correct the doctor on his lack of respect for pronouns when Morgan put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. “Kid let it go, you know where we are, they don’t care about that stuff, you can be upset about it but what's most important right now is you being there for Y/N when they wake up.”  He said knowing exactly what the young doctor was going to say but pushed him in the direction of something more important than an ignorant doctor. 

  With that Spencer made his way to the room where his significant other was sleeping after going through what was probably 24 hours of hell. He noted that they looked peaceful and sat down in the chair by the bed while holding their hand. It was probably only five minutes later that they started to open their eyes squinting at the harsh lights of the hospital.

 Once they adjusted to the light, they noticed a weight on their left hand and turned to look at who was sitting there. Upon seeing Spencer, a gentle smile spread across their face, "I knew you would find me.”

  “Of course, I could never leave you like that. But how are you feeling? The doctor said you lost quite a bit of blood, but you should be good to fly home in two days.” Spencer responded to them with a gentle smile of his own.

  “I’m ok, just a little groggy but that's probably thanks to the pain meds. Though I can’t wait to get back home and cuddle with my favorite brainiac.” They said with a slight giggle in their tone.

  “God, I'm so glad you’re okay, I was so scared of losing you and when he stabbed you, I thought I was going to lose you. Never do anything like that again. If you forget something in the car let me, go with you. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you, I just love you so much.” Spencer rambled not noticing that he said the L word to them in his attempt to get his point across. He didn’t notice until he saw the look on Y/N’s face when he turned towards them.

  “Do you really mean that?” they asked still in shock that this beautiful genius just said he loved them.

  “Well… I– Yes, I do, I really do mean that. You can even ask the team I almost lost my mind when I found out you had been taken. But if you don’t feel the same that's ok. We can just forget I said anything. It’s not a big deal.” Spencer kept rambling thinking he said something wrong by admitting his feelings.

 He was halted by Y/N’s response “Good because I love you too. I don’t want to forget about this. The only thing that kept me alive was knowing that I had you waiting for me.”

  Spencer was about to respond when a knock sounded from the door as the rest of the team entered. There was an obvious look on everyone’s faces that they knew they might have interrupted something, but they ignored it in favor of greeting their friend who was now sitting up in the hospital bed with a smile on their face. 

  The team sat and spoke with Y/N for about an hour filling them in on how they arrested McNally, and how they figured out it was him. There were also a few playful jabs at Spencer for how desperate he was to save them, mostly from Derek. Towards the end of the conversation, they had called Penelope on video chat so she could wish Y/N well, before the team bid farewell for the night to leave the two love birds alone.

 “It's getting late, we should really be headed back to the hotel, you guys rest, don't spend the night talking. And again, I’m glad you're ok Y/N” Hotch said as he motioned for the team minus Reid to leave the room. 

  “Yeah, go easy on them pretty boy, don’t want them popping their stitches.” Morgan snickered as he left the room seeing how the pair turned red in embarrassment.

  “Good night, guys, Thanks again for saving me.” Y/N responded by trying to ignore Morgan's comment.

  With that the team was finally out of their hair for the night. Y/N reached over and squeezed Spencer’s hand, “thanks again for finding me. And I really do love you Spence.”

  “I love you too Y/N, now get some rest I’ll be here when you wake up.” Spencer responded with a smile on his face, still glad he didn’t lose the best thing in his life. He knew that he would be able to sleep soundly tonight even if it was on a shitty hospital chair. “Good night, Love.”

  “Night Spence.” With that they both fell into a peaceful sleep, knowing they would still have each other when they woke up.

A/N: anyone who gets my reference with the unsubs name you get a figurative cookie. cross posted on wattpad

[goorehound]

as someone who is a self proclaimed genderfuck nightmare, this rep means the world to me.

so I’m gonna project onto Mary Goore about it

forewarning that these are personal headcanons, I’m not telling y’all what to think.

Non-Binary Mary

Mary is amab. I don’t take criticism, I take cash or credit. Let me live vicariously through them. Yes it is important to me to have amab nonbinary representation. It’s important to a lot of nonbinary people.

Mary doesn’t feel the need to prove their androgyny. They’re not going to dress femininely to prove anything about themselves, they’ll do it occasionally when the mood strikes.

On that note, they definitely go through phases where he’ll put on extra makeup and dress up in skirts over jeans or dresses over ratty band shirts. Can last from a couple days to a couple months where they’ll lean into “feminine” fashion.

Pronouns aren’t really a big thing to Mary. He’ll respond to any pronouns, and he doesn’t bother letting people know he’s non-binary unless someone asks or the topic arises. It’s not that he isn’t proud, he just gets tired of repeating himself and explaining shit endlessly. Like bro I don’t have a gender, that’s it.

They feel respected when people they’re close to use they/them pronouns. Just so they know that people aren’t just viewing them as a man and placating them by saying they know he’s non-binary.

But hey, they’ll respond to he/him or she/her. All the same to him, gender is a fickle thing and he doesn’t put much stock in gendered words.

Call them babygirl. Do it. Call them pretty, call them a good girl, they will blush every time without fail.

Mary discovered they were non-binary in their teen years for sure. They hung around a lot of queers, so, he was bound to discover things about himself eventually.

They never had an official “coming out.” For gender ( / lack thereof) or sexuality. If they want someone to know, they’ll drop it in casual conversation. But normally it’s not a huge deal to them. They don’t care who knows and who doesn’t unless it comes to close friends or partners - then, well, they like to feel seen and understood.

[scriptlgbt]

i'm currently in the writing process of writing my first book. the main love interest is an androgynous non-binary heir. Considering it's a fantasy world, I chose to make it societally normalized. My biggest issue so far has been gender coded appearance descriptors and gendered titles (ie. prince/princess). I want this character to remain as impossible to misgender as possible. close friend's of mine who are non-binary said that oxymorons (ie. softly angular) are my best bet - (1)

(2) - as a cis writer, i thought i'd ask you on how to describe someone androgynous in writing without using gendered words/descriptors. I'm sorry if this may seem like an overbearing question, and please correct me if I had said anything misinformed or offensive. Thank you for your time.

Don’t worry about this being an “overbearing” question - it’s not at all. This blog specifically exists to answer questions like this. There are undoubtedly other people who wonder the same things but who either are afraid to ask (so don’t) or are rude about it. So asking a question respectfully, especially in a setting where you are specifically invited to ask questions, is the best option of those. At least when it comes to something where you need to know the answer for some reason, like in writing good representation.

To get to the actual advice though: I can’t actually tell what you mean by gender-coded appearance descriptors, so I’m going to try to cover what I can. If you’re worried about something like, “soft ringlets and bold eyeliner” skewing feminine (for example), I wouldn’t worry that much about it. Something that describes body parts that happen to be gender-coded by society (breasts or an Adam’s apple for example) will land a lot differently, however. They will likely read with a fetishy tone in most writing. (I’m sure describing these characteristics on a trans character *can* be done in an alright way, but I don’t advise it because of how difficult that would be to pull off.) But as for general descriptors, I wouldn’t worry too much about making sure the descriptions are perfectly even.

Androgyny tends to be perceived differently based on the birth assignment as well. This isn’t fair, but it’s something society does a lot. Ideas of masculinity bringing a DFAB person closer to androgynous, and vice versa, as though our birth assignments are inherently going to skew us one way or another and we need to take efforts in our presentation to counteract that. I found when I started presenting in a way where I was confident and assuming what I would want to wear after top surgery and being on testosterone for a long time, people started assuming I had a different birth assignment more often. I think some of this may be just that people tend to assume groups of people are the same and that I am most often with trans women. But I only think that’s some of it. I’ve sometimes gotten this assumption when I am on my own as well. (Someone once asked me how I’d deal with it as a nonbinary person after being on testosterone long enough to “start passing as a man” and I had to explain that I never really passed as a cis man. Maybe I’ve passed as DMAB, but not as a man. These are not at all the same things.)

Another thing: I get what you’re going for when you mean “as impossible to misgender as possible” but I think it’s also important just to keep in mind that people will find ways to misgender us no matter what. Being seen as myself doesn’t change that some people are going to want to undermine that by making up details in the absence of information. There’s no shortage of people on the internet who tried to hurl transmisogyny at me when I was pointing out transphobia, because their sole perception of transness was the kind that transphobes fearmonger about. So if you can’t get an audience who genders the character correctly, it’s not your fault. Pronouns are easy to get (w/ some variation) when you fundamentally believe that a person is who they are and that their pronouns are part of that. And/or when people practice enough. Don’t take this as a measure against your writing.

Some neutral-coded description ideas:

(Note: some of these may not be neutral-coded depending on setting, but I read them as such personally.)

describing mood/facial expression

mannerisms/the way they carry themself

tone of voice

the way they dress (do their shoes look comfortable? jeans look well-worn? shirt ironed? aesthetic choices?)

confidence, hesitancy, timidness, how this may change around different characters or in different settings

voice speed/volume/pacing

their body language in relation to others present

hair, complexion, other physical features (highly rec this masterpost by Writing With Color on describing various features)

interacting with some object or hobby that helps paint a picture of them (smacking gum, holding a skateboard, paint stains on an apron, boxing gloves hanging off their bike)

piercings (& jewelry), tattoos

the way the weather is interacting with them (wind making their hair blow into their face constantly, rain weighing down their velvet pantsuit, clumsy on the frozen sidewalk, twirling a parasol)

- mod nat

[possibilistfanfiction]

if ava uses alternating any pronouns, does that extend to neopronouns as well?

also i feel you on writing characters with alternating pronouns, nonbinary myself and use alternating pronouns and it’s so confusing how to Word Properly in writing and make it clear who’s talking to whom and who’s being referred to, etc, and that’s just with characters who use a singular set of pronouns

i don’t think actively ava uses alternating pronouns so much as she just really doesn’t care. i think it’s like… nice to her? i guess? when ppl she knows use a pronoun other than she/her but like it’s not something she ever really seeks out. tbh sometimes people take ‘any pronouns’ & rly run w it trying to be Respectful lmao which is also fine to her but like… not a concern either. so she would never like seek out or ask for a neopronoun but if someone randomly decided to use one i guess it would be fine lol

but yes just to clarify once & for all lmao ava genuinely like… really just genuinely doesn’t care abt gender or words ascribed to it. even non-binary or gender-fluid probably feels kinda funky & limiting — but like, not enough to care to explain to ppl lol. but queerness in general for ava is just about ease & freedom & not having to be in a shitty box, but beyond that she’s never stressed about it, ESPECIALLY not pronouns

so yah i mean for me as a writer an easy way to communicate that to readers is to have ava says ‘any pronouns’ or whatnot but truly is never a concern of hers. even getting people to use they/them pronouns is a fucking task so she definitely doesn’t care abt trying to use a neopronoun bc again she’s just… not really thinking about her own gender often. once she’s like ‘ah, gender is quite literally fake, i am a divine being lol’ & bea is like ‘cool love you’ lol that’s all ava needs for her own sense of self

(also pronouns are so dumb in general i’m sorry lol. it’s just easier to use that as a shorthand — in stories & life — to try to signal some ‘i’m not cis’ vibes but like. pronouns are so fucking stupid lmao. like i will never use the wrong pronouns for someone obviously but like damn whole gender identities are not held within those little words jesus christ lol. not that this ask implied this but i’ve gotten a few abt ava’s pronouns & i just want to say that like……. the neoliberal rhetoric of the pronoun (ESPECIALLY in english) as the ultimate form of advocacy……. drives me up the fucking wall 😮‍💨 lol. anywho ava’s just vibing)

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

Hi, I was wanting to ask a question if thats okay.

I’ve recently been doing a lot of reading on radical feminism, and I agree with almost all the points, however I have self id as nonbinary for six/seven years now and I do agree with the radfem perspective on gender abolition, but I feel it’s difficult to strip myself of such a long term identity if you can understand that. I also disagree with a lot of the hate towards people who identify as transgender and i’m just overall confused about where my beliefs lie.

So a few questions:

1. Is is it possible my enby ‘identity’ is because of internalised misogyny? My dysphoria has never been extreme, just they/them pronouns have always felt right to me.

2. Is there any good masterlists/books/resources that i can use to learn more about radfem ideology?

3. How do I myself get more involved with feminism irl and make more of a difference?

Hi anon - it’s absolutely ok! These are really great questions and I appreciate being asked them, thank you. I’m going to answer them out of order because I think that will be easier to read.

Regarding question 2: check out @radicallyaligned ‘s pinned post for a simple overview, and @woman-for-women ‘s pinned post for more in-depth resources. The three books I personally recommend, in terms of those I’ve read which stayed with me and informed my feminist views most, are Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez, Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine, and Letters From A Warzone by Andrea Dworkin.

3: I’d argue there are three main paths for this. The first is to find an organisation with feminist motivations that works in aid of women, and try volunteering with them. That might look like womaning a phone line, making funding applications, transporting period supplies, or something else entirely. If the organisation is overtly feminist you might find yourself writing letters or creating petitions for feminist causes. Choose an organisation doing something that is important to you.

The second is to find other feminists and create organic connections with them, then move towards your own action collectively. That might look like organising education or consciousness raising sessions for other women, creating a feminist event like a documentary film night, attending protests or vigils, or some other project.

The third is to bring feminism more to the fore of your own life. As you research more, let your knowledge of women’s ideas and feminist theory inform your decisions, and share what you learn and your opinions on it with other people.

1: I don’t have a window into your mind, so I can’t answer this - only you can. If it’s helpful, some questions you might consider asking yourself are: what associations do you have with the word “she”, and how do they differ from the word “they”? How do you feel when you call yourself “she”, or someone else calls you “she”? What difference has it made to your life, your actions, and the way others have treated you, that you have identified as non-binary and called yourself “they”? What does “identifying as nonbinary” actually mean to you, and what advice would you give someone who was considering that identity, or someone in the same position as you?

Obviously you don’t need to share your answers to these with me (though I’d be very interested if you decided to), but they might help you work through your thoughts on the topic.

I hope all this is helpful! Thanks again for the interesting question and feel free to keep in touch or ask something else.

[fantomette22]

Can we learn more about your Caryll?

Well I’m glad you ask. unfold giant paper

I don’t know if you’re familiar with the lil things I already made ? (About Caryll or my other interpretations, I already talked a bit about Caryll and I did some little drawings that I’m going to repost there + there’s a few ideas in my fic too hehe)

So, dear runesmith Caryll (my beloved). I know canon/lore wise we know almost nothing except that they translate a big part of the runes + create the rune tool that is extremely practical in the game. Somehow with so little I managed to create an interpretation I really like and found really cool!

Because the post is super long the rest under the cut.

First, I need to mention I use they/them when I talked about Caryll (so it's more clear for everyone and yeah non binary Caryll rules! In French it’s a bit more complex but I try to keep it neutral...too bad we don't have neutral pronoun.) But really they can dress with any type of clothes too so they don't really mind that some person could use one gender above the other for them.

You know, sometimes in the fromsoftware games some descriptions are keep neutral (in Japanese) and become masculine with the translation (so we can’t really be sure for Caryll) and also just because I can’t choose XD (both a female or male version of Caryll are interesting !

And I’m really bad at choosing so I thought… why not nonbinary Caryll?? there’s just a lil fellow :) It’s funny because usually I managed to choose, for Dores I managed for exemple but Caryll I can’t… I like various interpretations of bloodborne story & characters too ! Always so interesting and enjoyable to saw the one of others! And I guess the others characters try to keep it neutral too and because they have no idea either

So i really come up with this design randomly. I was thinking of a design for them and boom that what’s came into my mind. Already made a post here.

At the beginning there’s a students at Byrgenwerth, then a researchers after obtaining their degree and then worked with the Church (and began the choir?), the hunters etc... They might came from or have family in Hemwick or the Fishing Hamlet perhaps? (Like this headcanon) but i didn’t thought of everything yet.

Now personality wise if I had to resume, I will say they’re a just a lil "guy" :) they’re kind, curious, really intelligent a bit shy too (but it get better after they grow up a bit) the least agressive person ever…(absolutely not based on one of my own friend) it's just the vibe that it gives me. Really everyone loved them too (because runes/translate great one>all) younger than the majority of the students that came at Byrgenwerth so a bit complicated at first. Then some accident in the pthumeru labyrinth happened then boom you hear great ones and can understand runes. So yeah sometimes they’re acting really weird (like staring at the sea/lake at 2am but he’s not the only one so it’s ok xD) but who isn’t mad in bloodborne hm? At the beginning it’s still like ok and more consider « lunatic » and I least that help them understand a lot of thing + hear stuff + have dreams. But years pass and the voices become louder and louder…

I won’t talk to their relationship with everyone in details (that would be too long so maybe later) but in my hc they're quite close to Laurence, Maria & Gehrman (+had some class with Maria, Ludwig, Rom, Mico etc...) And basically a lot of people just like them in general. Willem took them under his wing too (well that man literally like to « adopted » + help kids & young adults in need XD

(a lil adventure featuring Caryll, Maria & Ludwig in the forbidden woods here xD )

I'm not sure when the choir been formed but Caryll might be the their first « leader » You see the choir’s hat ? Caryll was the first one to have one like that.

And remember the eye pendant ? The one you got from cleric beast Laurence to go to the research hall? One of my most recent hc is that before Laurence had it, it belongs to Caryll.

Little facts :

Probably had an arcane build at some point

Like to look at big body of water (sea/lake)

Had a lil scar under the left eye but can actually see well from it. Until the fishing hamlet.

Caryll had augurs of Ebrietas (Caryll found them and keep the first ones they took back from Isz) and seems to understand them.

The choir's hat prototype they have was a gift made by Gehrman.

They helped Maria with the Astral clocktower construction.

They had some classes with Maria, Ludwig, Mico, Rom, Damian etc back in Byrgenwerth and pass their exams almost at the same time.

Laurence was their fav teacher.

Dores liked them (she don't like many people so that's huge)

They pass the Cainhurst vibe check.

Alcohol is not really their thing but they can drink more glasses than Laurence.

Can pass from one type of clothes to another really often. Making super confused someone who don't know them really well and saw them only once or twice before. What a fashion icon

"If I was a slug would you still love me ?"

And to finished you might wonder what happened to them in the end ? Well the game never answered us on that so... all I can say is that it's and it’s not going to end very well… But at least they're not trap forever in the nightmare like some, so it could be worse 🥲, Kos had some mercy. I like created funny hc but I got some really angsty and tragic one too T_T Even if I wonder why I made myself suffered I'm really proud of what I came up with for Caryll, and the impact it had on other characters.

And i will stop there i think. It’s a good introduction for now ! I have still so much to tell but another day x)

[haleyhalcyon]

How Gender Neutral Spanish ALREADY Works

This post is an overview of a few ways that Spanish is spoken by and about nonbinary people, a famously gendered language.

While there are some proposals for gender-neutral language, like the 3rd-person singular epicene pronoun “elle”, I will not be talking about them in this post, which aims to highlight how Spanish can already accommodate non-binary gender (also because it is far frem universally1 accepted).

Disclaimer: While I am a huge linguistics nerd and intermediate Spanish speaker who learned it from 7th to 12th grade, I am not a native speaker. This is just what I’ve seen and heard online from native speakers.

0: preferred pronouns of nonbinary people

As you will quickly find when you learn Spanish, grammatical gender often has nothing to do with gender identity. What makes a piece of furniture feminine when it’s a chair (una silla), but masculine when it’s a seat (un asiento)?

Many nonbinary native hispanophones will tell you that they prefer él, for the reason that any person or group of people that’s not explicitly (and exclusively) female uses masculine grammatical gender.

That being said, here are a few workarounds that are available if you want to write one sentence for either grammatical gender:

1.1: “offloading” to a different word

I think this is the most useful one. Lots of Spanish words have a masculine and feminine version: for example, español/española (“Spanish” or “Spanish person”) and actor/actriz (“actor” and “actress”).

So instead of saying Soy español/española, you might say Soy un tipo español or Soy una persona española, because tipo and persona both refer to people of any gender, despite their grammatical gender.

1.2: “offloading” to a word with a unisex form

On a related note, some Spanish words don’t change between masculine and feminine, like estudiante (“student”), artista (“artist”), and aguafiestas (“party-pooper”). If there’s a gender-neutral synonym for what you want to say, you just use that instead!

Some words for professions like azafata developed gender-neutral synonyms, in this case auxiliar de vuelo, just as English went from “stewardess” to “flight attendant”.

2: rephrasing to remove adjectives

You can also rephrase the sentence to remove adjectives altogether. A common example these days is Bienvenid[o/a](s)! (“Welcome!”) which changes not only with the addressee’s gender but with whether there are more than one addressees! It gets rephrased to (Te/Le/Os/Les) damos la bienvenida! (“We welcome you!”), which changes with the formality and plurality of the “you”, but not the gender.

Using this approach, instead of saying Soy español/española, you might say Soy de España (“I’m from Spain”), and instead of saying Soy actor/actriz, you might say Actuo (“I act”).

3: pluralizing

Spanish grammatical gender is kind of weird. When there are two or more of something or someone, if they’re all male, they’re masculine, and if they’re all female, they’re feminine. But if it’s mixed, it’s also masculine. So yeah, Spanish has a way of embedding into a plural noun when they’re all women, but not when they’re all men!

So when you have 4 Latin-American women and 1 Latin-American man? Ellos son latinos.

This may sound sexist until you realize that this means that plural nouns don’t need to be changed to include nonbinary people! As long as a group is not all women, use masculine grammatical gender.

4: avoiding 3rd-person singular pronouns

There’s a proposal for a 3rd-person singular epicene pronoun elle that’s decently common, but since I’m not counting that for this post, this is the hardest thing to rephrase.

Fortunately for us, Spanish is pro-drop, which means that, in many cases, we can just choose not to use one. Instead of Él/Ella me está hablando (He/She is talking to me), you can say Me está hablando (Is talking to me), because está already shows that it’s 3rd person singular.

If you find yourself in a situation where that kind of construction isn’t possible, just use a short nickname of theirs, or their name if it’s already short enough. You can already do this in English, too!

Conclusion

This was an overview of the ways that Spanish can already be gender-neutral without changing its grammar. It should convince you that Spanish is already plenty usable for nonbinary people!

It’s not to say that we shouldn’t accept change when enough native speakers embrace it; it’s just to say that change shouldn’t be forced when it isn’t necessary.

[euphoricfilter]

why did you feel the need to change Jungkook's pronouns? don't you think it's a little disrespectful to people who actually use they/them pronouns? like why not make the oc nonbinary instead so it'd be more relatable?

not necessarily??

like everything i post, this is a story! it’s made up with made up characters that are based off people in real life. jungkook being gender fluid in this goes along the same lines as that. just as some people write bts as women, or trans, or they have a vagina or anything under the sun because its all just a story and not trying to disrespect real people in the real world. it’s all fiction, not there to say that a member is exactly like that in real life

and as you’ve said about the relatability factor— different people can relate to different characters within a story, be it the reader insert or another starring role, not everyone is gonna see themselves solely as the inserted reader and sometimes identify more with another character, or both and that’s okay because every human being is very different in their opinions and ways of just being human, that every reader insert in every fic isn’t gonna exactly fit your formula as a person

nothing written for that fic is bashing or invalidating non binary people within whatever sub term they identify as. i just wanna put that out there, it’s not written to be mean or hateful or anything like that because i love everyone and sometimes the representation is needed in stories

i’ve written gender neutral readers before, the reason why i wouldn’t want to be like hey yeah the reader is exclusively nonbinary is because it’s a very very different experience for everyone. (in terms of what they identify as, first of all because nonbinary is like a bit of an umbrella term), with jungkook as a set fictional character, who has set feelings written by me, it’s easier to write from his perspective because i created him and his opinions and emotions and his make-up as a person within the story.

because i’m not gonna sit here and write out what your thoughts and feelings should be within this context, because i’m sure every single nonbinary individual has their own preferences when it comes to their gender or lack thereof. it’s such a wide spectrum and so different for every person that it’s limiting the reader if i type out stuff that won’t relate to them because of where they stand within themselves, and their own individual experience. that to me, feels more disrespectful than taking a fictional being— though based off a real person, but again, this is all a story, and changing their pronouns. because at least the jungkook in this story is made up by me, and i can make his thoughts, his past, his feelings instead of telling non binary people how they should feel if i write them within the reader insert, hence why i’ve written gender neutral, so it’s not limiting the reader as to what they identify as

you could argue that writing jungkook as a fuck boy is disrespectful, or as a yandere or a real mean bitch of a man, because we all know he’s not like that in real life and personally i feel the same goes for this. to play devils advocate, no one had an issue when i wrote yoongi as a girl, whose pronouns were she/her. that wasn’t an issue.. it’s a story, i’m not writing it in a disrespectful context, nor in a way that i personally think comes off as invalidating non binary/ gender fluid people

for all we know jungkook might follow those pronouns, we don’t know. so if you can write me a real proper reason as to why this is disrespectful, then i’ll scrap the whole fic and no one will ever read it

but also have you seen jungkook, mf is androgynous as hell like come on, i’m just trying to have a little fun, my bad 🙏

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey Cas,

You seem like the sweetest person ever! I’ve followed you for a few months now and you respond to all these anons who are working out their identities and sexuality’s and I just feel like you’re so amazing for that!

That being said, I am also in your ask box for the same thing. I need help with working out my gender identity.

I saw your response to the ‘dancer anon’ (I think it was that one otherwise another anon) and you put a link which could help explain the difference between expression, identity etc.

So you seem quite resourceful.

I was wondering if you had any resources about pronouns and terms that people feel comfortable using.

For example, I am afab, I hate being called a girl but I like being called a sister. I hate being called a women or a lady, but in the future I would want to be a mother. Does this make sense?

Oh by the way bc I didn’t mention before. I know that I am not trans ftm. I think I’m somewhere in the non binary spectrum (still don’t know the exact term tho).

Like I think I go by genderqueer just bc I have no idea, but I do want to know the exact label and I’ve read through all definitions and stuff and nothing fits me!

Ok so I’m rambling now and don’t know what I’m talking about but baisically im asking if you have any helpful resources that I can look at with nouns/terms people use so that I can see what best fits me. Idk if this is silly or not, like honestly you don’t have to respond, but thanks for being the best!

Hi!

Of course I can give you some resources!

So here is a list of nonbinary identities that might work for you!

Here is the most extensive list of pronouns I could find. I'm sure there are more out there and some people choose to make up their own!

And here is a list of many gender-neutral terms to replace often-used gendered terms!

Remember, it's up to you what terms feel okay. I don't mind being called "wife" but I hate being called a "lady." It's okay to have specific things that are comfortable!

Also, this isn't silly! It's normal to explore your likes and dislikes and your identity.

<3 <3 <3

[antimatteruniverse]

Finally got the guts to come out to my older sister, both in sexuality (I say “Bi/Pan/Whatever you wanna call it”) and gender (I say “non-binary” but also specify with labels like agender and “a lil fluid”)!

She is (or can be) a troubled person herself, but in a way society deems acceptable, so she doesn’t, I think, always get the push she needs to help herself. Example: she and her boyfriend are both Pharmacists, so they have a (nice) house and pay off their student loans as best they can. But, for example, at least a few years ago, the pattern I had for seeing her was her over-drinking alcohol, all of us (Our old ass parents, her boyfriend, myself) allowing it to happen, and her either breaking down, or becoming inconsolably hostile, about real or perceived slights current or past (or misconstrued altogether).

That said, I’ve been busy and distant from my family the last few years, working on myself, living my own live in Minnesota, right? But I’ve been trying to connect, so I came out to my parents. It went better than I could’ve imagined, even though I had been putting it off. They accepted it, and also mentioned it wasn’t a huge surprise, altogether. I’d always been sensitive to “Gay” Issues, and human rights in general, and my bestie growing up came out to me as a trans man at age 14, my parents and his fam by 15 or so, and started physically transitioning on T either just before or just after high school ended. And they love him; when they come up North to visit me, he’s who house watches and petsits (frankly, it’s good his mom loves him, or I think my mom would adult-adopt him right-now-immediately! 🤣). And my dad works with nonbinary people, understands they/them pronouns better, and my mom isn’t quite their, but loves me and is trying.

Anyways, I didn’t know how to come out to my sister, so I just sent a long, but genuine, silly text message. Prefaced, though, with the idea that I’d like a more couth way to come out, but I know if I called her out of the blue, she’d definitely think there was trouble or death be’n that I never call her ever! Anyhow, I get back that she doesn’t think it’s silly or dumb (words I used in MY text) and that she was happy I was comfortable coming out to her. AND- icing on the cake- she’s bi, too!

I’ve had my issues with her, but I feel closer to her. I also feel that makes it even more charming that I wanted to be just like her for a long period. How come she never left the diaries that talked about gay shit? Only anime or sad things! I speak in jest, but I’m glad I found out now. It’s like a bonus after I’ve made my piece, and a reminder that sometimes you don’t learn things unless you ask, and unless you tell!

[gibbearish]

hi i’m not really sure how to do this but i came from your uquiz and you seem knowledgeable and nice and so i’m asking you a question now i’m sorry

uhm, so, i think i maybe might be trans (ftm) because i’m super dysphoric and i sometimes look at guys and i get really jealous because they just get to, like, exist like that (i’m not really sure what the “that” is, but god, do i want it) and i very much don’t and when i refer to myself using he/him pronouns in my head it feels, uhm, at the risk of being a cliche, right, i guess.

but the thing is that i don’t really fit into any of the stereotypical trans guy things. like a lot of my friends when i was little were girls and though i have some stereotypically masculine hobbies (sports and physics) i also sew, and when i was little i was obsessed with being a princess for like a month before i started refusing to wear dresses.

i don’t think i’m non-binary, i tried using they/them pronouns this summer and while they didn’t actively hurt like she does, they didn’t really feel right.

so, like, am i lying to myself? i don’t know, maybe i just want to be special (i don’t want it, though, if i could just be happy as a girl i would).

sorry i just unloaded half an essay on you you obviously don’t have to reply and i know you’re probably not qualified to answer anyway, i just needed to tell someone, you know?

anyways, i hope you’re having a nice night or day or whatever. thank you, for, like, existing on the internet i guess. your quiz was very nice. bye.

howdy anon! dw i am always glad to answer questions abt this stuff even tho it make take me a while lol

my best advice for situations like this is i know its easy but don't let yourself get caught up in the trap of "well this is the label that makes me feel best but i dont technically check off every single box for it so am i just lying?" people arent video game quests, you dont have to hit every single box for it to count, youre allowed to have stuff fall outside the technical definition of a term while still calling yourself it. im very similar to you, i was in tap and ballet growing up, wore dresses and makeup for most of highschool, sewing crocheting knitting the whole shebang. but the important part is that none of those things make a difference to your identity. knowing how to sew doesnt make you a girl, it can just make you a guy who knows how to sew. its a thing you do, not who you are.

all that being said, i think another helpful angle to look at things is "does the distinction between two similar labels actually make a difference to me?" using myself as an example again, i dont call myself a trans man because while i do prefer presenting masculine, for some reason the term 'man' just doesnt feel right for me. but at the same time, to the rest of the world that's functionally what i am, right? so does that change /who/ i am? no. so for me personally, ive deliberately chosen not to file myself into either "trans man" or "nonbinary" and just move on with my day, because to me it doesnt actually make a difference which one i am, im still gonna stay on t, i still want top surgery, i still want to be perceived masculine, and thats not gonna change no matter what name is on the box so who gives a shit. just do what makes you happy