#nobody will ask why but ill tell you why
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thehistoriangirl · 12 days ago
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Came in to say: new chapter of the second chance fic this weekend
Also!!! I will post the subsequent chapters ONLY ON AO3. I'm too tired to keep posting them here with the formatting and all that jazz
My user it's the same one than here (theHistoriangirl), and the link it's in my pinned post
That means I will be erasing the posted chapters of all the multichapter fics I've posted in this blog, starting for the ones that hadn't been updated in very long
Until then, I hope yall have a great day.
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elftwink · 2 years ago
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one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society
#good idea generator#i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything#they assume so much knowledge and access to data#ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events]#also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything#i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this#and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking#but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign#PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs#ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line#constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so#its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit#and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open#but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating#bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up#but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive#monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun#and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak
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iniziare · 6 months ago
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Tag drop: Dorian Pavus
#[ dorian pavus. ] he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain.#[ dorian pavus: ic. ] you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet.#[ dorian pavus: inquiries. ] stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause?#[ dorian pavus: countenance. ] i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult.#[ dorian pavus: introspection. ] selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside.#[ dorian pavus: meta. ] you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less?#[ dorian pavus: etc. ] you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.#[ dorian pavus: magic. ] don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places?#[ dorian pavus: inquisition. ] we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition.#[ dorian pavus: tevinter. ] despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love.#[ dorian pavus: felix. ] even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better.#[ dorian pavus: gereon. ] we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying.#[ dorian pavus: halward. ] i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy.#[ dorian pavus: aquinea. ] her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet.#[ dorian pavus: inquisitor. ] you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them.#[ dorian pavus: solas. ] you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit.#[ dorian pavus: varric. ] what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way.#[ dorian pavus: cullen. ] gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you.#[ dorian pavus: cassandra. ] blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic.#[ dorian pavus: cole. ] you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats.#[ dorian pavus: vivienne. ] i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends.#[ dorian pavus: blackwall. ] point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one.#[ dorian pavus: sera. ] you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony.#[ dorian pavus: bull. ] no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back?#[ dorian pavus: corypheus. ] one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?#[ dorian pavus: v. inquisition. ] one of mine? like a pet? like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?#[ dorian pavus: v. veilguard. ] evil gods. rituals. waiting for the stars. it's about as tevinter as blood magic and hubris.#tag drop
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anxsity · 6 months ago
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x
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mettywiththenotes · 1 month ago
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The funny (but not so funny) thing about mental health is that one thing could go wrong, then I'm spiralling about it and my life and my choices and suddenly everything is going wrong
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actual-corpse · 2 months ago
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Therapy is realizing the Scott Box holds all of your insecurities...
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buttdumplin · 1 year ago
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where's that post about gojo actually just being megumi's unwanted unhinged gay older brother because i realized me and my youngest brother have the exact same age gap and holy shit were they right
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pokeology · 2 years ago
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can you elaborate on why you wont tag unreality?
// i am psychotic and generally i like being allowed to take part in things
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featherymainffins · 9 days ago
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Ough I fucking hate holidays because it is my duty as a child to visit my parents and just take whatever the fuck happens to me.
#oh wow i cant wait to have to endure an unspecified amount of time of getting told to leave and never come back and being informed that#everyone felt so much better without me there; and immediately after that getting told 'Where do you think youre going?! Are you nuts?!'#when i try to leave. since when someone tells me that i shouldnt have come and that im a burden i do in fact assume that i should leave#ill be day drinking from the moment i wake up again. i hate that. it always happens when i am forced to visit my parents#for more than a day#it is impossible to take it while feeling present. feeling out of it and not there helps. it makes everything hurt less#it makes me want to throw up. it makes me want to do nothing but run for several days. not because of disgust and not because of anxiety#but simply because i know that the most important topic of all the conversation will be peoples looks.#simply because there is a correct way to look in the eyes of my mother and there is a way to be safe from her and others violence#and those two things both rely on reducing yourself into nothing. so looking at food makes me want to puke. looking at milk#makes me want to puke. and i hate it. i hate it because i just want to be happy and i dont want to make my health even worse#than it already is but what am i supposed to do when the alternative is getting hurt? what then; huh?#theyll tear my body to pieces no matter what; its just a matter of getting torn apart in a good way. of letting them be disgusting in a#way they think is flattering. theyll all tear everyones body to pieces of course#every imperfection and flaw microanalysed exaggerated and then judged until it has been concluded that X and Y are horrible rotten people#because they *checks notes* have overgrown nails and are 5 pounds heavier than you#when im there for a day i tend to skip eating for the next two days or so#im worried about my health considering i dont know for how long ill be there this time#shell tear me to pieces. she always does. my grandma will too. my father will at least have the grace to just yell some slurs if i fail#to perform to his satisfaction. man i dont even care about being called the r word anymore. he can call me that all he wants#it stings but its nothing im not aware of. i know that im stupid and i know that im too dependent and i know that im useless and cant do#anyhing and i know that i disappointed everyone because they all thought i could do better.#thats fine. i know that im weak and i know that im a pansy baby and i know that thats why ill be getting something to cry about.#thats all fine. im ok with that. its one and done and it was way worse when i was a kid.#my father is pretty ok. but getting torn to shreds by my mother and her mother sticks with me. it always does.#im worried shell hurt me again. ill do something incorrectly. ill ask her for clarification one too many times. ill breathe too loud.#ill fail to notice the way shes holding herself (angry). ill fail to notice the tone of her steps (enraged). ill fail to apologise#for something i hadnt known i did. and then shell hurt me. shell hurt me again#and ill just have to stand there and take it like the good child im not and could never be because nobody could ever be considered good by#my mother. ill have to stand there and take it because thats my duty as a child and ill have to say 'im sorry' even though ill be the one
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germposting · 1 month ago
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im going to rant
#i truly feel so alone right now and like nobody cares about me#i moved to an entirely new state and live alone and i dont know anyone#discord used to be full of friends but now everytime i tried talking in any of my servers im basically completely ignored#maybe ill get lucky and get a non verbal reaction in lieu of a response#and then i just tried telling someone hey you shouldnt use slurs because they are bad and offensive#and somehow everyone got mad at ME for not properly explaining why slurs are bad????#and then i kept asking for help someone plesse help me here if im doing bad why wont someone else explain#and then they say its just ‘your fault its all your fault you need to communicate better you started this you keep bringing it up’#but i said multiple times i was done and yet i kept getting pulled back in?$?#i tried talking in another server about it and then just got bitched at and blamed or ignored by people who i was convinced were my friends#but they werent treating me like a friend i felt like a criminal on trial#and i started crying and told them i was crying and then theyre like ‘its not that deep get over it’#and im like it IS that deep to me?? i feel like im going crazy?!#and ive been telling them this entire time how badly in strugglingand how alone i feel and then the election happened#and im like losing my fucking mind over here and NO ORN CARES#NO ONE FUCKING CARES#no one fucking cares about me#thats all this boils down to is not mattering#i dont know#i dont feel like i matter#im tired of being ignored and made to feel like its all my fault#is it my fault????#do i deserve this#do i need to stop talking??? nobod wants to talk to me#i feel like im going insane#i feel crazy#i feel alone and betrayed and abandoned and no one fucking asked if i was okay they just all…#nobody cares#nobody fucking cares#im one bad thing away from killing myself im so serious
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elytrafemme · 6 months ago
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(kinda gets 18+ in tags srry. i never know how/where to talk abt it) and honestly it's never like i can pull up and talk about like, emotional abuse either. or like atmospheric triggers and shit. because talking about any of that is hard. but it's specifically fucking impossible to ever talk about sexual trauma to anybody ever, which is fucked because like... i'm trying and i'm doing good at it, i'm proud of myself, but it's so like. idk. when something dominates your entire life for an incredible critical five years of your life and entirely transforms how you approach anything it's like... i don't actually know how to express any of this at all. and i guess it's sometimes hard for people to get it. i dunno.
#neg#ask to tag#ok ill go to bed after this one its just like#thankfully im in a friend group that like. gets it#but even still ive never verbally clearly acknowledged thats what the anecdotes are about#and i mean its an open secret bc this one thing like. hit the fan. and my friends knew abt it#EVERYONE knew. and i realized only after that that it was like... actually a really bad thing maybe nobody should have known.#it's like that a lot. everyone sees it everyone knows it but it's kinda just me sweeping up the consequences#im very much a public vivisection case study of how like. nightmare sex explorations can go i guess#and maybe that's why i appeal to like anything in media talking about sex ever in a way thats kinda complicated#because like. yeah. i mean i lost any chance of getting to experience anything like that#i don't know. i have a really difficult time with processing this shit#which is crazy because like. idk if i ever said. but i think that was something nearly every alter in my head-#had in common. like not 2 of the 6 others. but the other 4 it was like at least somewhere a theme#which elt crazy. like so much for differentiation. but like. what else is there#i want to scream at ppl that this was my life this is all i fucking understood for ages#that i didnt realize it was bad until i saw what could be good#but you dont say that shit to people and im too fucking scared to say anything to my best friends so like#clearly nobody will know. n i just kinda have to live w that#that i can never have sex. and i can never really understand what goes on with it. that certain terms fly over my head#that i have to like latch on vice grip into fiction for it. because it never makes sense out of my own mouth#seriously if i need to tag this tell me i just dont know what the fuck to say
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yumeboshi · 7 months ago
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𝜗𝜚。..❛ #03. CORPSE BRIDE
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𐙚 topic。.when you turn down yandere hsr men’s proposals.
.。𝜗𝜚 cw。general yandere themes, suggestive content, MINORS DNI
.。𝜗𝜚 a/n。aven, sunday, and boothill. sunday and aven are regular additions to my posts lol, wrote boothills less intense bc he’s too silly to imagine
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#AྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིVENTURINE ⇢ ‘convinces’ you
。he will actually try to coax you into it. he doesn’t want to just force things onto you, that isn’t really what he wants 。“ill make you the happiest pretty bride, doll, just believe in me, hm?” 。continues to sweet talk you, telling you what he can do- buy you pretty dresses, give you anything you want, and he lists luxury after luxury. 。and he follows through his promises. even if you are being really disobedient, he’d still buy you more luxury than you could ever ask for. you will start questioning if you really don’t want this marriage- which is exactly what he wants you to do, to make you doubt yourself. 。his list goes on and on- a vip ticket to the Reverie, first row tickets to robin’s concerts, only the finest things that only his class of people could ever get their hands on. 。but in that list, he conveniently puts out ‘freedom.’ 。if you disagree, he’d pout, asking you why- and when you tell him you want to be free from him, he’d laugh, calling you a silly girl. 。“i already gave you a choice when we met. it was your choice to pick a card from an unknown pile.” 。he’d have the wedding commence in some really luxurious property of the ipc, and he will, invite your family over- he’s merciful. but is it mercy when you know you won’t see them ever again? 。“it would be a shame if they don’t see the happiest moment of your life.”
STANDING there with the most beautiful dress you could humanly ask for, your expression is nothing but a shell as Aventurine smiles at you through those shades. Your eyes are everywhere but on his eyes, when you stare at them, you feel like you’re losing yourself.
you are glad your gown came with a veil over your head, nobody can see your dead eyes, except him.
As the officiant goes on with the questions, you grip your bouquet a little harder to the point you feel their stems crumple, just like your shriveling heart.
You snap out of it after hearing silence- you see his expecting eyes on you and you nod blankly. “I do.”
And your husband smiles even wider, and he steps closer and slowly, while staring at you with uncomfortable adoration through those tantalizing purple eyes, he kisses you. You are expecting a tender kiss in a ceremony; but his gloved hand sneaks onto the back of your head, pulling you in hastily.
“I love you so fucking much, princess—” he breathes into you, brushing aside the saliva that trickles down your chin after his intrusion. “It took quite a while, but you’re finally all mine.” He pulls up your hand that has your forced vow on it, he chuckles and softly kisses your fingers.
“‘m gonna make you so happy, so ecstatic, that you’re gonna thank me for it, love. you will thank me that I restrained you from everything else.” he whispers, and the people clap, cheering; your family too, who smiles, knowing nothing that it would be your last reunion.
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#SྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིUNDAY ⇢ breaks you
。he just takes it on another level (and does not find your struggles entertaining unlike the former) 。he will be, really heartbroken at first. the head of the oak family asking you to be his lifelong sweetheart is almost like him giving you his life. you are his entire world- and the world has rejected him. 。“…I see. was I not good enough for you, angel?” 。although his emotions will be very hard to control, he’s very used to commencing plans. he’d tell you that he could ‘talk this out’ with you. unfortunately, it’s not a choice, but rather, an order. 。sunday is a ‘the end justifies the means’ kind of person. he will do any means to make you eventually accept your fate. that will include imprisoning you in some faraway place and leaving you abandoned for so long, you will be broken, wishing for any interaction. food is only given to you through a remote device, with no human interaction. 。sunday itches to be with you- he is compassionate for you, his heart will ache to see you sob into an endless cacophony. a part of him will be tempted to go to you and be with you physically, not watching you from a screen. 。he will repeat it- he will visit once a blue moon, comforting you, asking you if you changed your mind. when you ask him when he’d release you, his expression will harden. 。“it seems you haven’t learned anything, sweetheart.” 。if you are still stubborn, he will be a little impatient. he will speed up the process by adding new things in- maybe making you dream of a lovely, free life and when you wake up, you’re just alone. he will not resort to anything violent, he cares too much about you to hurt you. although, ‘hurt’ in his dictionary doesn’t apply to mentally hurting you. 。you will sob and show your most dramatic, fragile sides to a descent of madness, thinking you are truly alone until sunday comes to visit. you are wrong, though- sunday has always been with you, just not physically. 。he has always been watching you cry into the void through a screen. always.
MAYBE you have finally lost your mind, because when Sunday comes to visit you and your dull prison, you collapse to your knees and immediately plead him.
“Please,” you sob, clutching his legs desperately- he doesn’t crouch, but looks down- almost like a god addressing its follower. Sunday is no god for you, but you beg like he is.
“Please what?” He looks at you, fingers brushing over your hands, tilting his head just the slightest. His golden eyes glitter in the dim light. He is waiting for only one answer, there is only one correct answer to his question.
But you do not give him the right one. “Please just let me go,” you break down. Your heart is throbbing from all the crying, vision blurry and your head is light with no energy to talk anymore.
His gentle, serene smile immediately warps into that of a cold one. “Try again?” His fingers grip your hands hard, warning you that his patience is running thin.
When you remain silent except for your sobs, he crouches down to stare at you on eye-level, boring holes into your fearful expression. Unlike his deadly gaze, his words are soft and flow out quickly like a river- albeit with a sigh of exasperation. “Sweetheart, I’m not going to stop this just because you beg.” His hand pushes yours against the floor to knock you down, figure towering over you as he leans in to whisper- “—although, they’re very pleasant to listen to.”
“Honestly, I don’t get why you are struggling right now. It’s so easier to accept your eventual fate. Unless, you do like to seek pain.”
His other hand goes over your stomach, then slides tantalizingly slow up your body- you shiver and tremble at each touch that is too foreign to you. Cold fingers cage your neck and you choke on your breath.
“I’m not planning on hurting you, angel.” His voice is still gentle, but his eyes are telling another story, they seem keen to hurt you again and again. “But I did say I’ll resort to other… methods. Since none of them seem to work, I suppose the only solution would be caging you with a baby.” When your eyes widen, he laughs dryly. “The look on your face tells me that you didn’t expect it. But you will be my loving wife, dear. You will not be able to run or reject me, not when your own child is at stake. It makes only more sense to… make you bear children. My children.”
As he watches you struggle under him, trying to breathe, he feels like he has entered ascension. Soon, one of your pretty fingers will have his ring, and very very soon, he will have his first child- the very thought of him makes him lose his mind. He so wishes to make you his, claim you inside, watch your pretty pussy gush out his cum while he’s pressing deep into your womb- but he also wishes to see a mini version of him, or you. He finds it too adorable to withstand. He will vow that his children will grow up pure and innocent.
“We will be the happiest family in the world,” he purrs. “And I’ll make sure of it.”
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#BྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིOOTHILL ⇢ will try to prove himself
。maybe a little similar to aven. but while the latter will materialistically give you things and spoil you around to convince you, boothill will more likely show himself off instead. 。“i can fudgin’ shoot an ipc lackey in the head from miles away, sugar- ya can’t see that ‘n any other guy.” 。he’ll try to show you his capability to protect you- which will likely end up in multiple people dying but as a galaxy ranger, he has morals, so he will probably use the ipc as his shooting dummies 。overall he’s sweet even if you reject his proposal- he will likely be furious, just not at you. 。oh lord but during the day you rejected him, be prepared for multiple news flashes of dead people across the street. the amount of emotion will be too much for his consciousness to restrain 。when you confront him, he’d apologize, albeit a little too nonchalant. 。“‘m sorry sweetie, got a lil outta hand last night.” 。per your wish, he won’t kill anyone who’s unrelated and innocent- but he’d still go on a killing spree in the ipc headquarters to the point you are blacklisted on their list because he would shout your name and rant why you didn’t accept him while he shoots his gun all around the place.
“BOOTHILL, what the hell are you doing?” You frown when he returns- even after rejecting his proposal, he drifts around you like a lost stray dog. And he is always covered in blood, looking furious- but when you talk, his expression simply melts away like butter to a grin that shows his sharp teeth.
“What do ya mean what I’m doin’? Makin’ sure nobody hurts you.” He snickers. He smells like metal, like he always does, but this time it’s overpowering, which lets you know what he’s been doing.
“I don’t need protection, Boothill. You can just leave me alone.”
You’re beyond annoyed at his clinginess. No matter how many times you reject him, he’d always come back, showing something new off to you, and half the time it wasn’t anything pleasant, but rather his list of crimes.
“Aww, don’t be so uptight, sugar.” He chuckles and flashes a grin and his other metal hand spontaneously pulls you into his embrace— you jump. When did his hand get there? “All I wanna do is to make sure my future wife is safe and sound. Nothin’ wrong with that, hm?”
“I told you, I’m not going to accept-“
“Ah ah! Wait and see, you will be, I promise. But don’t drag the chase a lil too long. Even I get impatient.” Something cold pressed against your forehead and you realize it’s his gun. When your expression turns aghast with fear, he barks an amused laugh.
“You scared of this? Nah, I’d never hurt ya. Won’t wanna turn your body into metal like mine.” Although he says this with a dark smirk, he doesn’t remove the gun. “The sooner you agree to it, the merciful I become. Ya don’t wanna see innocent guys die because of your stupidity, hm?”
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elixrr · 9 months ago
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“could you be seen with me and still act proud?”
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➢ Jing Yuan, Argenti, Aventurine, Dan Heng, Blade, Xiao, Childe, Wanderer, Zhongli
➢ Star Rail / Genshin x [GN] Reader
➥ (their answer + reaction to this question)
➥ (comfort / fluff)
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✧ - JING YUAN
“Why, of course. I would hold your hand up for the whole of the Xianzhou to see.”
This was pretty expected of the sly general. However, what was unexpected was the way he took you in his arms and lifted you up—bridal style. You begged him to put you down as he opened the doors of his and your room, now making his way outside to remind the whole Xianzhou that you're his and he's yours.
✧ - ARGENTI
“Dearest love—of course, I would be so proud to have the chance to take the hand of mortal beauty itself, and, if it were chivalrous, I would boast about your beauty everywhere I go.”
Ever so poetic, Argenti pulls your heart strings again with his creative (yet cheesy) lines. He loves you; that's a fact that nobody can deny, and he believes that you were sent down by Idrila herself with how attractive you are. Without a hesitant thought, he backs away and offers you his hand—will you accept the offer in which he takes you from place to place, hand in hand, to show the whole world that your his love?
✧ - AVENTURINE
“You wanna take a bet? Here, I'll take you out to dinner if you guess my answer correctly—get it wrong, and I decide on what I'll do with you.”
With a wink and a smile turning into a smirk, it's always hard to guess what Aventurine is thinking, but with the clock ticking, you hardly get time to really think, and so you curiously answer with “no.” A smile grows on his face, and he leans in close, holding your arms. He whispers in your ear, “I guess that means you have to do what I tell you tonight.”
✧ - DAN HENG
“Of course. I do... I do love you, after all.”
His sentences are kept short and simple (with a little bit of blush), just like how they always are. Now, unlike most people on this list, he isn't bringing you outside to let the world know that you're dating, but he would feel and does absolutely feel proud to have you as his love. He reassures you that he would never feel embarrassed or feel the need to hide his love for you, no matter the crowd he's surrounded by.
✧ - BLADE
“Yes. Nobody's taking you, and nobody's taking me. Everyone had better know that you're mine, and the same goes for me.”
His response was rather threatening, but that's typical with Blade. His words are as sharp as his sword, but they're also as meaningful as sharp; his intent is nowhere near ill towards you, and he only means that he's dedicated himself to you already, and it's a dedication that he would never feel embarrassed or guilty for. Now, take his hand—he'll promise the world that you're his tonight.
✧ - XIAO
“Yes. Why wouldn't I be?”
In Adeptus Xiao language, he means, “yes, of course I would. Archons, holding your hand is a blessing itself.” And, though he doesn't admit it, he still feels it. You are his first and only love in several millennia. You, of every person to ever set foot in Liyue, managed to capture his heart when nobody else could. Xiao loves you, and he feels that he will forever, so he prays you'd banish him if he ever hurts you or hides his love away for something trivial because that means the karma got to him and that he's gone mad.
✧ - CHILDE
“Of course, babe! You know what? Let's go on a date right now— everything's on me!”
And that's simply Childe. Without a word, he disappears and reappears with your favorite outfit in hand, and has you put it on (in private as he waits outside the bedroom door), and when you're done, he's suddenly dressed nicely with roses in hand, and he takes you out on a date. How? No clue, but know that he's letting the whole region know that you're his right here and right now.
✧ - WANDERER
“Huh? That's a stupid question. Why are you asking me, anyway?”
Yes. He means yes in every way possible. His sharp tongue speaks the opposite, but Wanderer truly means that he would show you off to the world if he had to. If he has to, mainly because he finds the concept of love in its entirety as stupid, but he also loves you too much to let you leave him, let alone have someone else think that you're some vacant partner just waiting to be taken. Now, hold both of his hands. He'll glide you above Sumeru City and show everyone there that you're his if you're still thinking about the question.
✧ - ZHONGLI
“Well, of course. Would you like to take a walk around the harbor for me to prove that?”
Zhongli senses your insecurity, and he wishes to alleviate your worries, so he takes you to a popular teahouse by a bridge. It's not that grand or special, but he keeps you close to him as you both sip away at your tea and embrace the company of one another.
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yes, this was a heathers reference.
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ziracona · 2 years ago
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The Darkness really is the best song in the show.
#not musically. like as far as sheer Song goes it’s probably It Was A Shit Show or something but for like. emotion and rarity? I’ve never#ever seen someone confront that really ugly side to mental illness and it’s done so well. like yeah. it can become your identity to be ill#and you can fear losing it and it becomes a parasitic relationship that’s killing you and that’s not good and it’s hard to talk about —#almost impossible. because like. you /know/ how bad ‘what if without this I’m not interesting anymore and people have no reason to worry so#they have no reason to care about me’ is as a statement like that’s fucked up to think and feel. but it’s also not malicious or really you#it’s a part of being sick and people who haven’t been don’t understand it which makes it scary to try to confront and best because it makes#you sound so horrible—it makes you sound horrible to /yourself/ and that makes it hard even for you to confront it alone because you have to#admit it to kill it. I got so sick when I was dying of an ED and my brain got so fucked I began to believe with intense primal terror that#it had become so much of my identity nobody would care about me without it. which makes no sense but to a dying addicted head it did. and#I’ve never seen someone confront and discuss that ugliness so openly or so sympathetically at the same time. the line ‘for so many years ive#used the Darkness to feel. But now there are things in my life that are actually real. I’ve got to make a choice darling don’t ask me why.#But will I have the strength? to tell the darkness…goodbye…’ I cry.#it applies to a lot under that. to trauma associated with social neurodivergence where you learn to fear feeling happy as a kid because you#get loud or too much or things you don’t understand enough to not do them so the only way to be safe from repercussions is to not /be/ happy#in the first place. it applies to having clinical depression you’ve survived alone since childhood and your way of making it through life is#so intrinsically tied to coping with depression you have no idea what you’d be without it. it’s learned self-hatred of a cluster B needing#to hate themself to keep back the world flooding them when they feel at risk by doing it first#and it’s not pretty and it’s not easy but it is so fucking important people admit this is such a fucking common thing with serious mental#illness. how are we to get through self hatred and hopelessness and despair if we can’t even see the things we think are too bad to face are#as common a symptom as cutting? and just as curable and forgivable and not representative of who we are#god I love that song#crazy ex-girlfriend
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nereidprinc3ss · 10 months ago
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better late than never
in which uni student fem!reader finally shares exactly what she's been worried about with spencer
18+ for pregnancy scare warnings/tags: pregnancy scare, reader doesn't want to be pregnant, age gap (unspecified) a/n: listennn lots of you guys asked for more spence x uni reader... but u didn't specify WHAT u wanted... so now we're fantasizing about pregnancy scares because we're all what?? say it with me!! MENTALLY ILL!!!!
For the fifth time, you have to restart the paragraph you were reading. For the fifth time, it doesn’t make any sense—words strung together like clashing beads on a dancing string, blurred together by the tears you’ve been fighting all day. Anthropology is by far the easiest of the six classes you’re taking this quarter, but suddenly completing this routine assignment feels like scaling a mountain. It is, of course, nothing in comparison to the catalytic source of your immense stress. The thing you’ve been trying to ignore for nearly a week, and as a result, have become more and more obsessive about. 
A flare of rage overwhelms you and you slam your laptop shut. Then as quickly as it appeared, it dissipates, cooling to desolation as you bury your face in your hands with a sob. You hear paper shuffling from the desk where Spencer has been silently working and you try to reign in your emotions, but it’s too late. 
“Hey,” he says gently as he approaches, slowing to a stop in front of your spot on the couch. “What’s going on with you?”
You sniff, quickly brushing the tears away with trembling hands. But your voice is thick and strained when you fruitlessly attempt to lie. 
“Nothing.”
When you refuse to look up at him, he kneels down in front of you. 
“Really? This doesn’t have anything to do with why you’ve been so quiet these past few days?”
Of course, he noticed. You were a fool for thinking he wouldn’t. Finally you break, looking to him for subconscious comfort. And he’s looking up at you so earnestly, with so much genuine concern in those puppy dog eyes, that the waterworks threaten to start up all over again. Your lip quivers. 
“I can’t tell you,” you squeak. 
“That’s a really scary thing for me to hear. Do you understand why?” His voice is calm, carefully grabbing your hand and bringing to his heart. “Because I need to know if something happened to you.”
You shake your head tearfully, looking down at where you’re weakly grasping the front of his shirt. 
“‘s not like that,” comes your reedy whisper. “Nobody hurt me or anything, I just—I don’t want you to get mad at me.”
“I won’t get mad, I won’t,” he promises desperately, “right now I just want to know what I can do to make this better. I hate seeing you like this.”
A shuddering sigh forces its way out of your lungs. You suppose this is the kind of thing you probably should tell your boyfriend about, as petrifying as it may be.  
“I don’t know, I… I’ve just been freaking the fuck out because I’m worried I’m pregnant, and this would be the worst possible timing—like I know I want kids one day but I’m still in college��and you’re like a real adult with an adult career and I don’t want to fuck that up for you and I know that even if I am pregnant I have choices but that’s still so scary and… and I don’t know.”
You’re expecting a long pause, punctuated by some berating and bemoaning, but it never comes. Spencer doesn’t miss a beat. 
“Honey, this is exactly the kind of thing you tell me about,” he says, voicing your earlier thoughts. And he doesn’t even sound furious. You glance up, watching his visage swim beyond your teary eyes. “I am not mad. That wouldn’t make any sense. Do you know who’s fault it would be if you accidentally got pregnant?”
“Well—"
“Mine. So if this ever happens again, please don’t keep it to yourself for so long. I won’t be mad at you for something like this, ever.”
“But… you’re not worried?”
He shakes his head slowly, looking utterly unperturbed. 
“I wouldn’t be worried either way. But no, I’m not concerned that you’re pregnant. We’re really safe. The chances of you being pregnant are essentially negligible.”
“But I’m two weeks late.”
“That can happen when you’re taking six upper level classes,” he agrees, swiping your cheek with a thumb. “You’re under a lot of stress. I’m completely unsurprised that your body is reacting to it.”
A weight like a ton of bricks is lifted from your shoulders, but doubt still lingers. 
Spencer sees the hesitation in your eyes. 
“Would it make you feel better to take a test? Just in case?”
You nod gingerly, wrapping your hand around his wrist. He takes it in both of his, kissing the back before dropping them to your lap. 
“Okay. I’ll go get a couple. But I’m confident that you have nothing to worry about, and I’m usually right about these things.”
You take another deep breath, the last of the anxiety floating away with it. He’s usually right about everything. 
“Spence?”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, brushing your palm with his thumb and looking at you with so much love in his eyes. 
“Do you maybe feel like doing my homework for me?”
He smiles. 
“Nice try. Get it done and we can go out for dinner, okay?”
“Always worth a shot,” you shrug. 
He laughs, shaking his head as he stands. 
“And the answer will always be no.”
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puzzled-pegasus · 10 months ago
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Here's some silly little metaphors that I think the dragon tribes would use
SkyWings
“Don’t count your clutch before they hatch.” (Don't plan too much too soon)
“Gold is better than silver, but silver is better than nothing.” (If you can't do it perfectly, still try your best. Most dragons forget the second part.)
“‘Sorry’ can't suck the fire back in.” (The damage is done and now you're dead to me.)
“You been eating too much burnt meat or something?” (Are you nuts?)
“Stop all this smoke and use your fire.” (Stop rambling and get to the point already; or stop complaining and do something)
“Doesn't know his tail from his wings.” (Stupid or clumsy)
“You fly like a depressed pigeon.” (Slow flier)
“There's no fire in a rainstorm.” (Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get to work.)
“Nighttime is for the NightWings.” (What are you doing up? Go to sleep.)
SandWings
“She’s all rattle, and no strike.” (Like all bark no bite)
“A diamond in a pile of quartz.” (Like a needle in a haystack)
“You’re watering the cactus and ignoring the sapling.” (You’re focusing on the wrong thing; barking up the wrong tree)
“Everyone thinks the camel looks silly until the dry season comes.” (Don't listen to them, they don't know how unique and strong you are)
MudWings
“Crocodile tears.” (Fake crying in order to gain sympathy)
“You can only catch a trout if your mouth is open.” (Be open to new experiences)
“If the tree gives away too much, it ends up as a stump.” (Don't let people take advantage of your generosity)
SeaWings
“Happy as a clam in high water.” (Very happy)
“The flying fish feels like a fool when it sees an osprey.” (Don't compare yourself to others, run your own race.)
“Plenty of fish in the sea.” (Plenty more opportunities to come.)
“You’ve got ink in your eyes.” (You're blind to something important)
“Lobsters only die when they don't leave their shell.” (Keep yourself busy with new experiences and you'll life a long life)
NightWings
“Sleep is for the dead.” (Why waste your time sleeping when you could be productive)
“SeaWings know their fish and SandWings know their cactuses, but we NightWings know everything else.”(NightWing supremacy propaganda)
“Being nice to a deer never got one in my mouth.” (Other dragons don't matter, only your goals.)
“A prophecy always comes true.” (I told you so but more cryptic)
"You're counting the stars." (You're doing something tedious towards an unachievable goal)
RainWings
“Gray’s her favorite color.” (She's a huge bummer)
“A lemon is yellow on the outside, doesn't mean they're not sour.” (Referring to someone who is two faced or fake)
“I love honey, but I’d rather not get stung by the bees.” (I could do this, but it requires effort so I don't wanna)
“Nobody likes a rotten banana.” (Nobody likes a bummer/downer)
“Don't tie your tail in a knot” (don't get all upset)
“I have all my berries in a basket” (I have everything sorted out)
“You couldn't sneak up on a pineapple” (insult to one's camouflage skills, popular among children)
IceWings
“The seal who asks why the orca is chasing him is the first to get eaten.” (A favorite of parents telling their kids to shut up)
“Not the sharpest icicle on the roof” (kinda stupid or slow)
“Clear as polished ice” (i understand or see it very well)
“You're looking a little pink in the face” (you look sickly. IceWings can turn pink from eating too much krill; a symptom of malnutrition. This line can be applied to any illness.)
“Blue blood kills, red blood spills.” (Patriotic propaganda implying that IceWings win every fight
“The SkyWings toss their blue eyed hatchlings because they're worried they'll be as strong as an IceWing.” (More propaganda)
HiveWings
“Pretty is for the SilkWings.” (Vanity is stupid and impractical)
“If it buzzes like a bug and bites like a bug, it's a bug.” (Don't ignore the obvious)
“Clearsight works in mysterious ways.” (I don't know the answer to your question, now go away)
SilkWings
“It's not always good to know how the honey gets made.” (Don't stick your snout where it doesn't belong)
“She's got a couple of threads loose.” (Calling someone a little crazy, threads refers to weaving)
“The bee minds its flowers and the spider minds her silk, it's when they mix that bad things happen.” (Mind ya business)
LeafWings
“Flytraps only trap because the soil doesn't feed them.” (Dragons don't get angry out of nowhere)
“Looking like a leaf only hides you in the forest.” (Time and place)
“If a branch doesn't bend, it breaks.” (Be flexible)
“Even the corpse flower attracts the flies.” (Even someone who seems ugly to one dragon they can seem irresistible to another)
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