#discord used to be full of friends but now everytime i tried talking in any of my servers im basically completely ignored

[germposting]

im going to rant

[cyncerity]

For dads trouble AU

Does Karl ever get ok with being around Tubbo or any of the borrowers? How long does it take if he does warm up to them?

He eventually does, don’t worry!

With the other borrowers, it takes a bit longer than it does with Tubbo, because they are actively trying to stay tf away from Karl and don’t care about getting closer to him. Tubbo, on the other hand, desperately wants his other future step dad to like him.

It’s just that him warming up to Tubbo and him being ok with Tubbo’s presence are two things that do not happen at the same time.

Tubbo tries for a long time to get Karl more used to him being around. He tries to appear more randomly throughout the house, never quite near Karl, but in his line of sight. Eventually Karl just stops entering rooms he sees Tubbo in. So he tries to bring gifts to Karl, shiny buttons or nice flowers or other things that he could collect to show he cared. But half the time Tubbo approached him with his peace offerings, Karl ran off before he could even see what it was.

Tubbo eventually realizes that all of his in-person advances to get Karl to like him are backfiring because Karl is terrified of him. So what does he do?

He friends Karl on discord.

Which works…surprisingly flawlessly!

Karl, Tubbo, Sapnap, and Quackity spend hours a day just talking about whatever or playing some random game of jackbox or singing karaoke. It not only becomes a bonding activity for all of them, but Karl becomes much closer to Tubbo after finally getting the chance to know him.

Tubbo learns of Karl’s love of history and shirts that Quackity had dictated his “grandma sweaters,” and how he loves to read and write and how he hopes to open a library someday. Karl in return learns about Tubbo’s favorite tv shows and his love of bees, and how he loves the cold and how he wished it would snow more in the city. He learns that Tubbo’s favorite pastime whenever none of the humans are home is to go exploring through the vents with his best friends and try to steal things from abandoned apartments.

However, as fun as these conversations are for him, Karl just…can’t be around Tubbo in person.

Since they started talking regularly, Tubbo has tried to start similar conversations in person, but it never works. He’ll come out from behind whatever item he was behind and try to bring up how he wanted to try a new jackbox game tonight, that he liked Karl’s shirt, that he really liked the snippet of a story that Karl had read to him the night before, but it never worked.

He just…froze. Everytime, without fail, the color would drain from his face, his hands and knees would start to shake, and he’d slowly back away, trying to say something but his breaths coming in and out too quickly to actually speak.

And everytime, without fail, their online conversations always start the same way now. Tubbo will call, and Karl will always say “I’m so sorry. I’m trying, I swear, I’m trying, I just…can’t.” Or some iteration of that. Tubbo tries not to let it phase him.

But he can’t help but wonder how much easier this all would have been if he was human.

He wouldn’t have to hide. He wouldn’t go into a panic attack during a rainstorm. He wouldn’t have to always be cautious to not fall or be stepped on or be found by some random human. No one would feel the need to swallow him down if he was in danger or cold or scared or anything. He’d be able to handle himself instead of placing the full responsibility of his life in the hands of people who had their own lives they needed to put first.

He could go places with his dads. Properly bond with his stepdads. He could eat at restaurants, go to museums and libraries that Karl had talked about, see his favorite musicals live instead of streamed on tv, and go to parks by himself to see the bees and the other creatures that would no longer be big enough to kill him, and see the world around him as something beautiful, not just something a few missteps away from ending his life.

And by no fault of his, these were the thoughts that came out of most of his and Karl’s conversations now.

And again by no fault of his, Tubbo usually hung up crying.

[imagine-your-kh]

✬ I’m Back ! ✬

Oh gosh, it took way more time than what I expected, I’m sorry.

Okay, I have a few things to say, so let’s dive in... !

It will be open this Sunday ! Please check the Rules before sending any !

I will try to use a countdown that will be linked in the post to show how much time is left... ! This will be a test to see how it goes, you’re free to tell me if you like this idea or not... !

I will try a few things, slowly, so if it doesn’t please you, don’t be scared to speak out... !

Like I said before, I will try a countdown system for the MatchUp when it’s open. For now I’m hesitating between 24 hours of open MatchUp or more; we’ll see Sunday. I don’t know if it will stay or not, if I won’t need to close the MatchUp before the end of the countdown or something, depending how the test goes... !

I will try a few things for the design of the blog : changing the Pages of the Global HC (relationship and nsfw), some pictures, the divider, ... I want changes. So don’t be surprise if you notice a few things here and there in the following month(s) ! Again, don’t be scared to give your opinion.

I remembered there was a Chrome extension to change the y/n by your name. I always tried to avoid these ‘code’ because it break the flow of the text to me, but are you interested by more “y/n” to play with Chrome’s add-ons ? I wanted to try the html code to make it possible on my blog (without add-on), but it’s annoying to me to add it in my post everytime and breaking the formatting (that the new design of Tumblr make me upset already). If you know a Firefox version of it, please tell me... !

Long story short : I got little problem after little problem after my huge surgery in August. Next week there will be the (normally) last fix...

On the top of that, we learned that my mother has leukemia. She’s actually on the hospital. She got better and better now, but there were some bad time.

Now if you want the long story, it’s under the cut

It ended that she was waking up late, came in the sofa waiting for the energy to kick in and... It didn’t. She was sleeping all day long in the sofa or in her bed. 

My father and I insisted for her to see a doctor, but she hates it, tries to avoid medicines, and she had a very very strong contradictory mind.

She did, the doctor taking blood.

Leukemia.

Since then, she’s at the hospital.

My father and I were left alone in the house and let me tell you a few (shameful) things :

- My mom was taking care of the house mostly on her own. I was helping her here and there, but not much because she wasn’t pleased how I was doing it, the result, “I can do it” or as kindness to give me peace. With the fact she has a very strong contradictory mind, she also become very aggressive when we insist. I grew up with her, my fear of conflict probably came from this, but in any case I never insisted because I didn’t wanted to fight for something so trivial and using energy for a fight I would never win in the end. So what happened when my mom goes to the hospital? I became the housewife. In a house that isn’t organized in my way (fun fact : it’s organized “where I found place” word my mother) and that I can’t reorganized like I want because my mother will come back, of course. But there weren’t just about that, she was also taking care of the papers. The food. The first weeks my father and I were just running everywhere to know where the papers were, what we needed to take care of (my mother knew when she needed to sent papers and wasn’t telling to us so we got a few surprises for example) and the freaking food. I’m ashamed that we ended to throw food away because we were trying to cook what we had, but a few elements were supposed to make a (complicated for us) meal or that we thought we were out of and it wasn’t. This running in circle for weeks was stressful and I ended to do the most. And guess what? I ended at the hospital because I had pushed my limits and got a infection on the result of my surgery. At that time, I had a few request in Queue but I just hadn’t time to write one to add in the Queue. It was stressful to see the number approaching zero but I couldn’t write. When I finally got time in the end of the day I wanted to relax.

- My mother was the mediator between my father and I. Left alone in a stressful situation where I was thinking “I can do it, I can try, let me do it, I’m right” and where he was thinking “you can’t do it, don’t try because you’ll fail, I’m right” it was inevitable that at some point we ended to scream at each other. My father is really affected by my mother’s situation. I had more than one depression in my life. I couldn’t have one right now. I became the support of my father, reassuring him, trying to stay positive, I couldn’t have a depression. I just couldn’t. It’s hard to fight ourselves and supporting someone else at the same time. I could have tried to see the “psychologist” of the hospital, but I have the bad habit to keep everything inside.

-Next to all of this, I was trying to resurrect my Discord Server. I’m not a leader, I try to make everyone happy even if I know it’s impossible, I still tried. Trying to please everyone displease everyone and I was open to make just a little change, not enough. We were something like 30 persons on it, a “fight” happened before between me and the Mods (long story that could be resumed as : lack of communication and I panicked), I asked who wanted to join the Mods to be sure that they were motivated, I reworked the Server.. I won’t enter in the detail of what it was because I don’t want to enter again in the debate, but a few people weren’t happy about a situation. I tried to mediate but the persons wanted just it to be gone from their view so left the Server, and I didn’t wanted to get rid of it because I wasn’t seeing the wrong of it. In the end of the journey, it was 1a.m in my timezone when a friend that was on the Server and left because of it wanted to talk about it with me and it ended in a fight because their anger grew more and more that I wasn’t understanding how wrong it was (supposed to be). When they started to use capital, very upset, it clicked in my mind that this situation was stressful, making me sick and anxious... For a Sever that was already dying. And I couldn’t afford at that time with my mother to have a drop of mood. So I chose my IRL life and abandoned the Server in a rush, something that was in my mind since the first “fight”. It took me a full month to lose all the habits I got from a year to be on the Server. I miss to see all the OCs, all the news and ideas of my friends and people. I miss to not just drop a fanart in it, knowing it will please people without having to come in private and be scared to bother. I don’t miss to be glued on my phone every minute to be sure that nothing wrong was happening on the Server and be on charge. Be a leader isn’t for me.

I just couldn’t bring myself to write for the blog. When I had time, I just wanted to relax and doing nothing. For a long time I didn’t even draw. I love seeing your reactions, reading your ideas, interacting with you, but English isn’t my first language. I’m learning with this blog. I check less and less my translator, but this is still more difficult for me to write a request than what @lucky0stars​ can do. I’m also a procrastinator, I never was so productive before, but it’s because I’m “forcing” myself to focus. When everything is alright, I still end sometime to slap myself because “dude, you need to write your request. Do at least one”. So you can imagine that in the situation where I’m right now... It just blocked.

So I announced the break, without knowing when it will be done.

A few things happened (like my mother who had a few weeks in an artificial coma) that you don’t need to know, but it seem to calm down. I’m slowly coming back.

I’m here now.

[a-blotchie-archive]

discord.gg/FeUpvbd

JOIN OUR DISCORD! Soo with the new account aka da, i thought it was about time to move some sonas around and do some new ones. DoodleCloud is actually very likely to appear around blitzblotch but is now being promoted to character. Where she is now available for rps. In her place is this dork. Normally in a coat or spotted at night due to being slightly sun sensitive.

Trivia: Blitz is great at generating electrical energy with their magic and their horn can often spark when not focusing. Blitz does know weather altering spells as well as being able to walk on clouds. It helps with getting power.   The patches of her pelt are a skin condition. While harmless they do put her at risk for sunburn

Name: Blitzblotch(responds to blitz and BB)

Age: 23

Gender: Genderfluid  (She | Her | He | Him )

Species: Unicorn

Personality: + Unjudgmental + Devoted and loyal + Inspiring and ambitious - Chatty - Blunt - Unrelenting x Lazy x Low self esteem x Burns out quickly

Likes: Drawing, comics, electrical equipment, cloud walking, friends, racing, Sewing, gardening, gaming, close friends, talking and gossiping about politics, debating, deep discussions, talking about cute things, staying inside, fixing things, putting things together and seeing how they work, having things done her way, praising her friends.

Dislikes: The general public, the sun(because sunburn), swimming, organizing, brushing mane, looking good in public, others disapproving of others looks, pushy stallions, needy attention fillies, traditional ponies and narrow minded idiots

History: Born and raised in the country, this filly learned the hard way how to achieve her own way of surviving in the family she was placed into. With a messy foal as a brother with a general dislike for all ponies and a mother who looked at her more like property than an actual child, Blitzblotch had to learn how to achieve small feats of her own in order to keep her mood high and keep her motivated. Her mother only used her as a proof of her status in the world and how good she'd done as a mother, boasting about her foals and where they stood in the world but while doing so, didn't notice them. They went for years being with a mother who was more focused on her own achievements and how well she did, not even realizing that her foals were raising themselves. It was terrible but young blitz took advantage of it every second. She learned how to do things on her own, how to cast magic alone, how to see the world around her like nobody else did and slowly but surely, how to survive in it. Her brother and her were distant so eventually she stopped caring altogether for him and ended up being blamed for his failures when she tried to push everytime her mother demanded she'd do better. It was bad for some time. Depression, fear and anxiety set in and school only highlighted on these. Feeling left out and ignored never really left for all those years and the push and only love she recieved from her mother, was to do better. It rotted her insides with stress and forced the once shining mare to become more reclusive and uncomfortable in her own skin. It was rough but she continued to tried to seek out her own way to shine. Of course, he mother tried to take any hobby she had and turn it into a full time career but Blitz would find ways to enjoy life and friends that made every second of it worth it, every push and struggle in life making sense with knowing that people cared to know the hell she was trotting on, every day. This young pony grew up into a fine adult, going out of her way to show off her inner beauty and finding others who saw it shine and flocked to it, admiring it, adoring it but never.... she never really noticed. She never seemed to notice just how MANY pony really did flock to her, always concerned about how much she put out into the world that she didn't see that the ponyfolk who did see her, were all worth a million to so many others. Even the stragglers who adored her, there was so many but... from a fillyhood of being pushed, she continues to never see it nor how much of an inspiration she is to so many of all ages around her. Still, nothing holds this pony down and everytime she falls she's back up, trying out something new..... as long as she's not forced to go outside to learn how to do it.

History written by

ltty-bitty

best girlfriend a person can ever have