#nobody talk to me im too busy thinking about wound-fucking now.

[wedontdeservethestars]

This. Is how I write. Why did they fucking put slash in the og Saw IV script what is this

[tunawithsoysauce]

Day: 3???

17/4/24

Hiya!!!! Sorry i didnt write. Ive decided the most i'll pause the blog is three days. Also, shoutout to my sister that now reads this! Gonna be careful with what I put her now, haha. That's a joke. Er.

So! Hi. Been busy. With tests n stuff. Also kind of relapsed. 17 days and I throw it away. I c-t myself like an hour ago writing this too haha.

Well, I wont be pessimistic. I'll be fine. Its just a blip. I hope so, at least.

Enough about not-today-days. Here's my day today!!!

Woke up at six. Mentally prepared me for in total four hours of english exams. UGH. It sucked, but I did good. Anyways.

C-t myself in the morning. It was to prepare myself. I think. Yeah, it was.

I took the bus. I listened to some Weezer (Pinkerton, blue album, and green album!!!) And met Leija on my way from the bus station. She cheered me up so much. GOD I love her.

We settled in in the testroom thingie, and started. I got done super early (duh) and read Solitare (Alice oseman) for like 50 minutes. ITS SO GOOD. Ive read it at least eight times by now. But still. Epic. Book. (Sprolden AJSKSJDJ)

Me n Leija ate lunch. I actually ate (unlike any other day lmao) and it was fish burgers. Yuck. No im kidding. It actually tasted okay.

The rest of the break i just ran around with Leija. And Deim. I think I yelled so much my lungs would collapse. (Outside ofc)

And then the next test. It was super slow since we had to listen to some guy talking. BORING ASF. Anyways I fell asleep afterwards while the writing time was still going and Elsa woke me up.

I jumped around agressively and climbed a tree out of exitement. I scraped my knee falling from it :[

Anyways. We had homeroom (YUCK) and I was kind of riled up. Anxious. Whatever. My teacher looked at me and used his serious voice telling me to breathe. I rolled my eyes at him. But I was thankful.

Me and Leija just goofed off that lesson, lol. Not being annoying to anyone else ofc, just yk.

Then we had P.E. or well, I didn't. My wounds where fucking BOLTING and it hurt like HELL. I told my teacher. She looked at my wrist, looked at me, took me to another room and asked the standard stuff.

I answer truthfully.

(I downplayed it)

Anyways. She said a bunch of sentimental pitying stuff but then said:

"Nobody wants you to be gone."

And I resisted crying at that.

I spent the rest of the lesson watching Doctor who. Specifically any episode with Amy and River.

It was fun.

When It was over Leija asked if I wanted to walk around in the mall for a bit. Of course i said yes.

Deim came too.

Before we left i gave Sofia a hug.

She's practically my mum at this point.

Anyways. We sat in the mall for a while. We talked about pointless stuff. Leija gave me a cookie. I said I loved her. It was supposed to be a sort of joke.

She said it back.

Deim said they loved me too.

I hugged them and said it back.

Anyways. I went home. Bus. I took the pencil sharpener I stole from school and..

..figure out the rest.

Yep. I called my sister. I freaked out because I made it too deep. I got it to stop bleeding.

I don't have anymore urges right now, so ill be fine tonight.

Anyways. Orchestra tonight. Fun.

It'll be fun.

[crimson-wrld]

Whumptober 3 - "Who did this to you?"

CW: referenced kidnaping/captivity, stabbed, blood, implied domestic abuse, referenced threats, wound tending

Caretaker is just about to relax in his bed to watch tv when his ringtone sounds. He groans, setting the remote down in the mound of covers and reaches to grab his phone off the nightstand. The number that shows is one he doesn't have saved and doesn't recognize. Normally, he wouldn't answer, but something inside him convinces him to.

“Hello?” he answers. At first there is no response, just a quiet rustling and heavy breathing into the phone. Caretaker rolls his eyes, must be a stupid prank caller calling him at eleven pm. Just before he hits the end call button though, a raspy voice speaks.

“...Caretaker?” the voice calls, starting meekly before growing slightly louder.

Caretaker's heart misses a beat, breath catching in his throat when he hears it. He couldn't believe it, he can't remember the last time that voice met his ears.

"Whumpee? Is that you?" He asks in disbelief.

There's a second of hesitation before he receives an answer, "Yeah… it's me… Are you busy?" 

The speech is slurred and slow. Caretaker can't help the irritation that bubbles up in his core. He hasn't seen Whumpee in almost a year at least, he left with no warning, only a single text, suddenly completely ghosting Caretaker, and now, he's calling him this late, like nothing happened?

"Are you drunk, Whumpee?" Caretaker asks, his annoyance clear in his tone.

"N-no, i'm not drunk…" The answer comes back, still slurred. Caretaker wonders if Whumpee even registers what he asked.

He rolls his eyes, "Then why are you talking like that?" Caretaker asks angrily, his mood completely changed from the serenity of before. Of course he missed Whumpee, but if Whumpee could just throw away their friendship… their relationship… so easily, then Caretaker could feel a little betrayed.

Okay, he feels very betrayed.

"I'm-I'm not... talking like anyth-" Whumpee's words are cut off by a sharp gasp that turns into a low hiss. Caretaker furrows his eyebrows. Something isn't right.

"Are you hurt?"

On the other end of the phone, Whumpee clutches at his side, eyes screwed shut tight. At the question, they blink open, and he glimpses down at his hand. Red slips through his fingers and begins to pool beside him. He breathes in, trying to regulate his heartbeat.

"No."

Caretakers annoyance fades. As much as he wants to stay mad and ask why Whumpee left him, he can't help the concern that takes over.

"Whumpee. I know-- knew you. I can tell somethings up. Where are you?"

Caretaker can hear the pained hesitation even through the phone. It takes nearly a minute for Whumpee to answer.

"Caretaker… I-I need you…" he whispers.

When Whumpee finally coughs up an address, Caretaker is in his car in an instant. He soon arrives at a house, dimly lit from the outside. He grabs his first aid kit from the seat and rushes to the front door, finding it unlocked. He steps in cautiously, calling out for Whumpee.

"I'm in here…" he calls back. The house is almost completely dark. Caretaker follows the voice into the kitchen where he sees a shadowed figure crumpled on the floor. There is a small amount of light coming from the windows, Caretaker uses it to locate the lightswitch on the wall. He flicks it and turns, gasping at the sight.

Whumpee is sitting there, staring blankly at the wall. A large purple bruise rests over his right eye, and dried blood forms a line under one of his nostrils, smudged over his lips and chin. His face is littered with cuts. He's absentmindedly holding onto his side, hand covered in blood.

"Oh my god Whumpee!" Caretaker exclaims, surprised. He didn't know what he expected, but it surely wasn't anything this bad. "We need to get you to a hospital!"

As if coming out of a trance, Whumpees eyes snap open, he almost looks caught off guard by Caretaker himself.

"No, N-no hospital…" 

Caretaker finally shakes off his shock, rushing to Whumpee's side, quickly joining him on the floor and fumbling the latches of the first aid kit open. Whumpee gives a delayed flinch, and stares dazed eyes back at Caretaker.

"Whumpee," Caretaker says softly, lightly grabbing his wrist, "I need to see..." 

Whumpee bites his lip, and reluctantly loosens his hold, letting Caretaker move his arm away. He pushes up Whumpees shirt, gulping down the lump in his throat, the feeling of nausea he suddenly notices. 

Nearly every inch of skin is covered in a menagerie of colour; red, purple, blue, yellow splattered like paint over Whumpees flesh. Then, there's the gash just above Whumpees hip, jagged and gruesome.

"...Who did this to you?" He whispers with a shaking voice, his wide eyes watch carefully as he puts on gloves and begins to clean the wound. 

Whumpee wracks through his brain for an answer. There's a name sitting right on his tongue, ready to pass through his teeth like the very breath he breathes. He swallows it though, he knows the hurt that will come from rushed decisions.

Much like the one he's in right now.

"I can't tell you that- ah!" He says, crying out When Caretakers fingers press on sensitive skin.

"-Sorry. Why can't you tell?"

"You don't understand, Caretaker." Whumpee sighs, running a hand through his hair. He wants to relish in Caretakers company. He can't remember the last time he heard his voice, the last time he slept wrapped in his arms, covered in blankets and warm kisses, the last time he truly felt comforted, felt safe. But calling him was a mistake, a rushed decision of panic he shouldn't have made.

"What do you mean? Whumpee, whoever fucking did this is a bad person-"

"You think I don't know that!?" Whumpee yells, accidently jerking the wound, lighting the other bruises on fire along with it. He grabs Caretaker's hand instinctively, squeezIng through the pain. Caretaker lets him.

An old habit.

Whumpee whimpers and closes his eyes, "Im protecting you…" 

He lets go of Caretaker's hand to let him finish tending to his wound, looking anywhere but Caretaker's eyes.

"Protecting me..?" Caretaker asks. He tries not to let his emotions hinder his ability to properly help. This situation has torn his soul in two. He doesn't like seeing Whumpee like this.

"I didn't want to leave you," Whumpee whispered. Caretaker finishes bandaging the cut, finally, he gets to look at Whumpee… look at how he's changed.

His hair is a dark brown now, different from his natural dirty blond, and he wears a choker around his neck. Whumpee hates having stuff around his neck, he'd never take a necklace from Caretaker.

Whumpee notices Caretaker looking, and reaches slowly to grab his hand again. 

"It's how he likes it…" he murmurs softly, "He threatened to hurt you if I didn't leave you, if I didn't go with him. I shouldn't have called you, I'm putting you in danger." Whumpee says with a shake of his head, tears falling from his eyes.

"I miss you Whumpee… This person is hurting you… I mean look at you! You're their captive!" Caretaker says, tears falling from his own eyes, unable to stop his voice from raising. He doesn't know if he'd rather the truth be that Whumpee didn't like him anymore and just left on his own volition. Anything would be better than this.

"I know. I miss you too," Whumpee responds, his heart breaks into a million more pieces inside his chest. He hates that he has no choice. He doesn't want Caretaker to end up like him; a shell of his former self, broken for someone to control his every move-- his every thought.

"Then who is this 'he,' Whumpee? Let me help you." Caretaker pleads to him with wide open, worried eyes, his voice cracking.

Whumpee looks down at their hands still interlocked, lets himself feel that comfort, even if just for a little while. He knows Whumper will be home soon, and he will not let Caretaker go down with him. So he swallows his wants like he's learned to, clears his throat and stands his ground for the first time in a long time.

"Nobody."

Taglist:

@myst-in-the-mirror

[qqueenofhades]

pel!ivan and fedyor went through a lot of ups and some downs from the end of pel and 2021 but they also celebrated 10 years together 🥳 i hope fedyor shoved cake into ivan’s face and also you know, im sure they were mushy like the saps they are

Ivan was supposed to be out of here ten minutes ago – actually, at this point, more like twenty – but the clients are still fucking talking, and if they keep it up much longer, he’s going to add it to the bill for “initial consultation.” Drew has a man-bun and unbearably hip black glasses, and works as a developer for some start-up app that he’s tried to convince Ivan to download at least twelve times. (What does the app actually do? Don’t know don’t care.) Mia is thin, blonde, waifish, smells like essential oils, and has been flitting around with her smartphone the entire time, getting in Ivan’s way as she snaps perfectly filtered pictures of the “developmental process” and posts them nonstop on Instagram. They both have a lot of opinions on how they want the energy of the space to feel, and a preapproved list of ethically sourced suppliers. They have paid some ludicrous price for this converted loft in Prospect Heights and chose the location for its proximity to the best farmer’s markets and hippie coffeehouses. Did Ivan die? Is this hell?

Somewhat ostentatiously, he looks at his watch. “Okay,” he announces. “I think that wraps up. You have work number, so – ”

“Oh, just one more thing!” Drew has recently read one (1) book on home design and thinks he’s an expert, so Ivan is forced to suffer his idiotic opinions about the kind of tile they want to use on the kitchen backsplash. Somehow, he manages not to roll his eyes directly out of his head, for which he should be commended. Ivan has discovered that the secret of successfully dealing with people, especially clients, is to smile and nod at everything they say, while mercilessly mocking them in your head. Amazing, the things you learn as a small-business owner in Brooklyn in the year of our lord 2021. Especially when it comes to renovating overpriced tiny gentrified apartments for insufferable techno-douchebags and their vapid influencer girlfriends. And people think Ivan might want to live like this more often? No fucking thank you.

Finally (it’s another ten minutes after that, this is definitely going on the bill), they more or less wrap up, except for the fact that Mia then wants a picture with the three of them. “It’s just so important to us that we’re supporting the immigrant community,” she explains earnestly. “After all, being open, tolerant, learning from our neighbors, people who are different from us, that’s what life is all about. We just love that you’re foreign. The energy feels so right, you know?”

Ivan wonders whether to inform her that he has lived in this country for eight years and been a full citizen (passport and voting rights and everything) for three, then decides that this would venture into sharing-personal-information territory and he is having none of it. His English has improved to the point where he can handle almost all business transactions by himself, but feigning incomprehension can sometimes get him out of them when they turn really stupid. Unfortunately, that isn’t an option here, and so he diligently leans into the frame, smiling half an inch, while Mia snaps a picture of “us and our adorable Russian contractor!!” Ivan informs her of the correct flag emoji to add to the filter, decides that he’s going to add an extra fifty bucks just for that, and finally, finally, makes his escape.

It’s rush hour, and the Q is crammed as Ivan heads into midtown. So much for social distancing and not getting too close to anyone, which is the only thing from the pandemic that he wouldn’t mind keeping. Only about half the crowd is wearing masks, including him, and so he gets off at Times Square, dodges the latest lunatic standing on a soapbox and shouting about how it is all a hoax, and walks several blocks uptown, just to get some space. He finally reaches the restaurant, where he has to flash his vaccination card to get inside (Ivan, who remains Russian to the marrow of his bones, is a little irked that he couldn’t get Sputnik here and had to settle for Pfizer) and climbs up to the open-air rooftop terrace. It is only when he spots his husband, waiting at a table that overlooks the glittering evening lights of the city, when Ivan pulls off his mask and allows himself to properly smile. “Sorry I’m late,” he says. “They are the worst.”

“I figured it was something like that.” Fedyor musters a smile in return, though his eyes look permanently tired these days and Ivan would bet that he’s been scrolling through more depressing emails on his phone. Technically Fedyor is on a two-month sabbatical from work, but he can’t stop himself, and Ivan has had to pry it from his fingers on a number of occasions. “But you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

Ivan nods stoutly, they are furnished with the drinks and appetizers list, and when the waiter asks if there’s any special occasion tonight, tell him that they are celebrating their ten-year anniversary, albeit somewhat late. This was supposed to happen last spring, but obviously, nobody in New York was going out to a restaurant in the early months of 2020, and Ivan himself had barely gotten home from the hospital and still could be knocked over in a strong breeze. They’re celebrating a lot of things tonight, in other words, even if it’s now been eleven years, not ten, since the day Ivan marched into a Red Square coffee shop and engaged in – well, Fedyor has made sure to inform him that the first date didn’t go nearly as well as Ivan always thought it did. But it worked, didn’t it? Here they are, wedding bands on their fingers, a couple of successful American urban professionals who have built a nice life for themselves and are, if anything, even more madly in love than they were when this whole nutty adventure together first began. So really, if you ask Ivan Sakharov Kaminsky, it went just fine after all.

The waiter congratulates them, gives them two drinks for the price of one, and they both relax and start to talk, fully at ease in the way they only are in each other’s company. Ivan does his Mia impression in an extremely convincing falsetto (after all, [NAME REDACTED] has practice at this) and Fedyor almost dies laughing. They hold hands on the table – no need to hold them under the table – and gaze into each other’s eyes all they want, order dinner and dessert, and take a long time about it. They raise several toasts to this, to them, to ten years, may there be many more. Ivan pays the bill, his treat, and they walk slowly back to Times Square, hand-in-hand, Fedyor’s head nestled on Ivan’s shoulder. It’s New York. Nobody cares.

They ride the Q home, in all its smelly, secondhand glory, taking an hour to bang out to Brighton Beach and descending the elevated stairs into the familiar down-at-heel comfort of their Russian-American neighborhood, neon Cyrillic signs glowing in windows and somebody shouting about how if Sergei ever shows his face here again, she is going to cut his dick off. Ivan and Fedyor look at each other and snort, resisting the urge to shout up and ask what exactly Sergei did, and walk a few more minutes to their building. They climb up three flights of stairs to their apartment, unlock the door and the deadbolt, and step inside.

The instant they are home, Rasputin shoots out of nowhere, yowling as if he has been neglected for months, and curls himself around Ivan’s ankles (he is still liable to give Fedyor evil looks when he feels that this interloper has been stealing his human too often). Ivan sighs, trudges to the kitchen, points out to Rasputin that his food bowl is still half full, gets a wounded look in return, and adds an extra scoopful. Once the cat is happily snarfing down, Fedyor pulls Ivan by the hand, into the dim living room with its blowing curtains. “Come here, my love,” he says. “Hold me.”

Ivan does as ordered, because it’s his favorite thing in the world: cuddling Fedyor close, nothing but the two of them in all of time and space, swaying slowly in the blue hour with fingers and arms and hearts entwined. Ivan kisses Fedyor’s temple, and Fedyor nestles even closer, melted into his embrace. “I love you, Vanya,” he mumbles against Ivan’s collarbone. “I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the world. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too, Fedya.” Ivan leans down and kisses him properly, sweet and slow and lingering, as they continue to waltz in stately time to a music that nobody except the two of them can hear. “I’m still not always sure why you married me, but I am very glad you did.”

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

like

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

TY

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

TY

TY

TY

TY

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

oh

oh

oh

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

[ivyuns]

love me in a year ✰❆♣♞

bang chan

genre: angst, fluff 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: kidnapping, restraints, y/n gets pregnant, grinding, drowning, weapons, a bit suggestive. if i missed anything lol oops

A/N: another shet show + from 365 dni (the ending isnt exactly like the movie btw)

for my gurlieeeee + happy birthday to @stanstraykidswoo​ <3

masterlist

mafialeader!bangchan x fem!reader

enjoying the summer breeze on the islands of hawaii, next to your friend made you feel relaxed. from all the work and stress you did, you finally earned yourself a vacation.

“babe!”

opening your eyes, you see your boyfriend (in a unhappy relationship) walks towards you. taking off your glasses and sitting up next to the pool, waiting what your boyfriend had to tell you. “i just got back from seeing the volcanoes babe! you shouldve seen it-” “we were supposed to go look at it together, dumbass” you cut your boyfriend off.

“w-wait y/n-” running away before he said anything, you got lost in a dark area. wasnt just sunny? seeing a group of guys look at you while trying to come closer. damn these outfits. your outfit consist of a short flowy, off the shoulder dress with heels. running with shaky legs, you looked around and saw everything get dark.

“are you lost babygirl?”

waking up in a soft bed, you look over and look at the unfamiliar room youre in. “where am i?” you whispered softly. walking towards a door to the hallway, the door wont budge open. shaking the door knob, it still wont burst open. giving up, you go lay back down on the bed.

closing your eyes to relax, you hear the door unlocking. quickly putting on your heels, you open the door and see nobody. following to which ever door took you, it seem endless. the endless numbers of stairs and doors you went though, you came across to a massive painting of a portrait of yourself hanging on the dinning room’s wall.

“oh my god”

continuing to follow where your legs take you, you were yanked away from seeking to your freedom. “are you lost babygirl?”. feeling someones presence behind you, you see a man. someone who you never seen.

“who are you and what do you want from me” you say and slowly back away from him. “chris is the name. you see, five years ago, i saw you on a beach. then suddenly i got shot and all i could think was you. these pass five years, ive been trying to find you and now” chris pauses his sentence and walks to a cup of ice, making you suck on it. “now i have you��

spitting the ice out, you got angry. “so what? you think kidnapping me is some kind of way to have me?” chris gets angry after your tone of your voice you gave him. he pushes you on a chair and chokes you lightly.

“i will give you 365 days to make you fall in love with me. and if that doesnt work, i will release you.” chris slowly lets go of your neck and continues talking. “i promise i will not touch you without your permission.”

chris gets interrupt by his phone. reaching his pocket, he sees his mafia friend who works with him calling him for help in the front. running to where to meet him at, you gave a few minutes before running on your feet again, trying to escape.

finally outside with a big open field in front of you, where you will be free. running, you stop midway as you see chris kill a man. witnessing what happened, you pass out due to pressure from everything.

-

the next morning, you wake up in the same room before but a whole different dress on you and a shirtless chris sitting in a chair in front of you. “let me out of here now” you shouted at him. “i need to get back to my family, my boyfriend!”. “you really think he still loves you? take a look at this” chris says and throws a small stack of pictures. pictures of him fucking another girl.

“a-are you serious?”

“yes im serious. oh and we’ll be leaving this place tomorrow. be ready” chris says and exits the room. “where are we going?” you quickly grab his wrist and stops. “to australia”

landing and going to the hotel. chris stops you and gives you the keycard to your room. “my room is next to yours if you need me”. nodding your head a yes, you enter your room and place your bags down and sighed. what is happening right now.

chris walks out of his room to see you look like a goddess. “y/n” chris calls out. turning around, chris grins with his dimples showing and grabbing your hand to head to the place you two are meeting with. chris opens the passenger door for you and makes his way to the drivers seat after youre in. while driving, he places his hands on your thigh, making you want more of him. avoiding his hand, you close your eyes.

arriving at your destination, it turns out to a bar. entering the bar, chris leads you to a room. seeing people, you hide behind chris bc youre antisocial as fuck

“y/n, this is aeyeong. ayeong meet-” “y/n. yes i know her name” aeyeong says, looking at you then back to chris, seducing him. “you know y/n, me and chris used to talk.” walking up to you. “and fucked each other” aeyeongs whispers into your ear. feeling chris wrap his hands around yours, you push him away and left the room.

“this happened a long time ago-” feeling tense, chris was about to turn and find you til aeyeong grabbed his wrist. “i thought you said we would last forever hm? took you long enough to find her. even of all our messages.” aeyeong grabs her phone and pulls up their naked bodies in photos. sexting.

“enough aeyeong.” chris grabs her phone and throws it onto the floor. running out of the room to look for you, leaving aeyeong to laugh.

-

“mr bang!”

chris turns around and sees his partner running to him. “y-y/n. shes with aeyeongs boss. i just got a call from him-” “shut the fuck up and tell me which room” “room 325.”

chris runs to room 325 and sees you grind on the boss. “y/n” chris growls. not paying attention to chris, you feel aeyeong’s boss grope your ass and suddenly putting a knife towards your neck.

suddenly feeling someone pull you away from the man and unable seeing things, chris and the rest of his members pulls out their weapon.

opening your eyes and see yourself on a yacht, you walk around and find chris. seeing chris talk shit about you to his other partner. “she just really had to run away-”

“im sorry chris” you spoke out. chris turns around and tells his partner to leave for a moment. “this is all your fault. youre the one who left the room and potentially tried to seduce him. do you not know what he couldve done?”

arguing on the boat and heading to the railings, you slip off and fall into the water. panicking, chris falls into the water and saves you. taking you out of the water and goes to lay you down on the bed and stands by your side.

a few minutes later, you wake up with water coming out of your mouth, coughing. chris turns around and goes to you with worried eyes. “y/n, i-im sorry. please dont leave me, i need you” chris softly says and strokes your hair with tears starting to fall down his cheeks.

lifting your weak hands up to caress his cheeks, you pushed him down and began kissing him roughly. regretting as soon as you saw the red in his eyes. “so now you want it?” chris growls and begins to attack you with kisses and hickies. feeling your clothes ripped away from you.

a few weeks later, youre back in korea. chris leaves you for the day, saying he has business to attend to and will call you later. but hours flew by and still didnt have any calls. sighing, you call your best friend, minyeong who yells at you though the speakers after the first ring.

“are you kidding me y/n? you cant just leave me behind at hawaii?!”

“i know i know, ill explain if you come over”

after she hears you say the sentence, she hangs up and runs to your place. opening the door for her, she starts speaking nonsense and you just laughing at her.

“y/n, this is serious. stop laughing and tell me what happened.”

sitting down next to her, you tell her everything. even when you love him back. minyeong at first didnt like what chris did to you and what his job it, but you beg her for you to have happiness atlas. with minyeong wanting you to be the happiest, you two go to the bar.

feeling someones eyes on you, you told minyeong you were going to the restrooms as she continues dancing. almost at the door, someone slams you onto the wall. “y/n, baby. i missed you so much. im sorry-” feeling tears streaming as you remember the past events and pictures. you forced him to let go of you and run back to your place.

he follows you back to your apartment without you noticing and as you take a seat with his loud voice scares you. “baby please” he goes closer to you and tries to kiss you until a voice rang.

“im pretty sure she wants you to leave”

he looks at chris then back to you then slaps you. “you fucking whore. youve been cheating on me when you left me didnt you” shaking your head a no and the tears uncontrollably falling as you try to shield yourself from another slap.

receiving nothing, you look up and see chris holding his wrist to prevent him from hitting you. “if theres someone else who was cheating is you. now leave you fucker” chris whispers in his ears and runs away.

chris looks down and sees your shaking figure. he goes next to you and wraps his arms around you so you can start feel calm. reaching to that point, chris picks you up and lays you on the bed.

slowly kissing you from your lips to your chest. chris begins undressing you til you stop him. unbuttoning his top, you see the semi open wound from his business. grazing your fingers over it as you hear chris slightly whimper.

“chris, im in love with you”

chris smiles widely. “im in love with you too”. you two continue the heavy make out which turns into a passionate sex for you both.

waking up with you on chris’ chest, you feel him showing a smile. he turns to the nightstand and grabs something small but worthy.

“y/n l/n, would you please marry me?”

nodding your head yes a bunch of times, you kiss chris on the lips.

-

heading back to hawaii, youre back into the palace where chris kept you in. waking up from your slumber, you go outside and talk to chris. chris sees you and tells his partner that he’ll be right back.

“hey hey babygirl, what happened? you alright?” chris leaves his seat to go to you as you start feeling shitty. “chris, i dont feel goo-” your eyes are shut closed and almost falls on the hard concrete til chris caught you.

“c-changbin! help!” chris yells out to whoever is out. your lips are slowly turning pale. changbin runs to chris with a blanket to cover your cold body and helps him carry you to the car. changbin speeds to the hospital with chris’ tears falling onto you, holding your hands and kissing the back of it. “please be okay, please please” chris whispers.

changbin parks at the emergency lot and chris grabs your body and puts you on the stretcher as the nurses sees you two. “please save her” the nurses all nodded their head and disappeared into the doors with a chris on the floor, sobbing his heart out, praying for you to be okay.

-

finally hours passed by and chris was left alone as he told changbin to go back to the palace. eyes all red and puffy with his legs shaking, full of anxiety. “mr bang?” the doctors call out chris. he stands up too quickly, making him almost loose his balance but the doctor helps him balance for a few seconds. thanking him, he follows the doctor to your room.

chris runs to your side as he sees your eyes open, with all type of wires attached to you. “y/n baby are you okay?”. nodding yes with a small smile, chris looks at the doctor.

“it looks like miss y/n was 1 month pregnant. and also looks like she wasnt taking care of herself either so mr bang, do y/n a favor and help not only her, but the baby”

you and chris nod your head, understanding as the doctor leaves you two. chris turns into his soft self. “i love you” he giggles. “i love you too chris”. scooting further away from him, you pat on the empty spot on the bed for him. chris smiles widely and goes to lay down next to you. you fall asleep from the warmth of your fiance as he hugs you. “and i love you too baby” he whispers and puts his free hand on your growing stomach. kissing your head and falling asleep next to the love of his life.

END <3

[undinoble]

Crazy long text ahead i warn you, just explaining some process I went through while drawing this Frank and Julie low light dying thingie, probably gonna drop some wips along the way, you may want to see… idk, dealer’s choice

!TRIGGER WARNING! Violence, death, suicide. Proceed with caution.

Well where do we begin? The inspiration maybe?

Exploring the magical world of Spotify when a band came in, one of the first songs (if not the first one) of theirs I heard was Partners in Crime by Set It Off, you know, love at first sight, love for their voices, their music style, aaand the lyrics, OH BOI the lyrics, check it out:

“You’ll never takes us alive We swore that death will do us part They’ll call our crimes a work of art You’ll never takes us alive We’ll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners”

Dunno, for two passionate juvenil delinquents that just wants trouble this line really fits to me, the dreamy couple feels invencible.

“Everybody freeze Nobody move Put the money in the bag Or we will shoot Empty out the vault And me and my doll will be on our way”

It’s actually interesting to think of the Legion robbing a bank, it’s not like troublesome teens didn’t do that in movies c’mon, it’s a small city, they wear masks, ez!

“Our paper faces flood the streets And if the heat comes close enough to burn Then we’ll play with fire ‘cause

You’ll never takes us alive”

THIS. This is so a Legion thing to say. Can you imagine their masks all around the streets as a warning like “HEY, WE ARE HERE, FEAR US” I love this

“Here we find our omnipotent outlaws Fall behind the grind tonight Left unaware that the lone store owner Won’t go down without a fight Where we gonna go He’s got us pinned Baby I’m a little scared Now, don’t you quit He’s sounded the alarm I hear the sirens closing in”

The second big moment, the adrenaline along with the instrumental is crazy for real

“The skies are black with lead-filled rain A morbid painting on display This is the night the young love died Buried at each others side”

THIS. (again) is the main theme of the drawing, it’s where the inspiration flood over me, the scene was clear in my mind, c’mon if you read till here there’s absolutely no reason not to listen to the song you won’t regret im not even getting payed to show it off

ACTUALLY FORGET IT- i just won a sub on Cody Carson’s stream WHAT IS LIFE??????? Thanks Max!!!

I totally didn’t draw this while listening to the music when i should be working what are you talking about??

Hold the sketch, focus on the gun. It’s dope aint it?

Anyways, here goes the lore, along with the music lyrics I filled up the gaps, well, Suz and Joey are not around, maybe doing school stuff Julie didn’t feel like doing so she decides to hang out with Frank in the meanwhile, they’re on the lodge, bored, upset about the world cause it’s what teens do in their free time, listening to one of their mixtapes, probably Frank’s, the more hardcore one when the idea hit: what if they try some good mischief? “There’s a small banks a mile from here, want some adrenaline babe?” And oh of course she does, grab your mask, here we go

Sorry, not a big legs-drawing fan…

They grab their knives, put on the masks, get ready, drive to the bank. I didnt really think this part through, the song says it all. Long story short - they rob the bank, the police arrives, the action begins.

They brought their knives, didn’t expect the cops to show up with guns, damn they didnt even know little Ormond cops had actual guns. After long minutes of hiding on the bank safe the couple decides to fight their way out, they would be more useful alive than dead so laws could apply, but that went out of question once Frank stabbed the first bank employee on his triumphal way out, the police don’t think twice before shooting to protect the citizens inside.

Frank and Julie have too little time to react, the stress and anxiety kicks in, they go feral, crazy cinematic bullet avoids, for a moment it’s possible to get away. It all happened too quick, but in Julie’s vision it went slow motion. She just saw a cop leaning behind a car, aiming directly at Frank, even her fastest reaction wasn’t fast enough to stop the trigger from popping. With tears in her eyes she watches as the bullet hits her boyfriend right in the chest. 

She snaps. One target in mind, she sprints to the cop and stabs him over and over until she’s sure he won’t see the sun set ever again. She takes his gun and rushes towards Frank who is kneeling against a taxi holding his torax, she screams that they must go to the hospital immediately but he refuses, hospital would be just a quick stop on his way to jail. No fucking way. 

He demands to go back to the lodge, the cops are too busy helping their wounded partner to look for them, they think Frank may be dropped dead somewhere on the street after multiple shots, the two of them must flee before the cops realize the mistake and go hunting for them. NOW.

Julie side-carries Frank back to their car, the lack of a license of her own won’t stop her from driving as fast as the car can. Breathing heavily while constantly telling Frank to hold on, they will find a way out, they must do. Oh what a fucking stupid idea holy SHIT. 

The travel takes half the time it usually does and still feels like hours. The car gets all red with Frank’s blood that keeps leaking. Once they arrive, Frank wants to go upstair, Julie shouts at him to keep next the central campfire once he should grab some heat (and for god’s sake why is he still carrying the money bag they stole????), anyway he gets the last word and they climb the stairs up and lay on the bed, Frank hisses from the pain but also sighs in relief for the soft spot under him, ignoring Julie cursing besides him, saying she can still call an ambulance, she doesnt want to lose him, Suz and Joey will be devastated, although he just replies with the phrase they were saying sooner that day “They’ll never take us alive”.

After 20 minutes of agony, low whispers of memories of how they met, what they had been through together and a huge amount of blood moisturing the covers, Frank says he’s feeling light-headed, Julie looks at him and he’s paper white, the blood loss is finally getting to him, she wants to cry, scream, curse and stab that damn cop a hundred times again, but all she does is cuddle her head harder against his shoulder and tell him she loves him, that she will keep his legacy alive, with Joey and Susie, she will revenge him. He chuckles and slowly feels the life being drained from his weaked body until everything goes black.

Julie need a few seconds to process. Frank died. For real. He was good a few hours ago, he was right. They would never take them alive. Death could do them apart, but, he never said for how long they would be apart.

She reaches for the gun on the hand under Frank’s body. THAT DAMN GUN. She aims it to the side of her head, never leaving Frank’s side on the bed. Triggers it.

“Partners in crime”

Damn did I just write a fucking fanfiction? This shit is way longer than I expected, did anybody even get down here?

Well, this is the part of the drawing where i left cause I just couldn’t afford to work on it, have in mind everytime the file were opened the whole lore came in my head, and fuck did i feel dizzy writing it all down. Hell the bloody details get me, seeing Frank so white with a blue undertone simulating the lifeless body gave me headaches fr. My escape was drawing other things until the courage to finish it came back. It was easier because the story kinda faded away from my mind, the drawing became “lighter” to deal with.

Well, guess that’s it. I hardly have this big insight while drawing, to visualize the finished piece on my brain and it’s just so fucking cool, making art with so many mixed feelings along, and overall pride, cause i feel so proud with the result you have no idea. It isn’t perfect tho, but i like it anyway. So, thank you so much if you made it all the way here. gonna sleep now for fucks sake im gonna pass out bye

[atiny-exol]

Mafia! Ateez! Their s/o saves them

_______

Warning:strong language, blood, mentions death, torture, some sad things but I hope you like it

____________

Hongjoong

You aren't just anyone

You are his wife/husband

He gets kidnapped? You will make the ones who did that regret this decision

Yeah, that's what you thought

But it seems..easier in your thoughts than in real life

So of course you get hurt

But no one is taking your husband away

And anger let you do stupid things

So as soon as you got Hongjoong out there..

Believe me you wished you never did that

He loves you, he is thankful that you helped him

But why the actual fuck did you though this is a good idea?

The Guy would have done the same thing and now you are hurt

Scolds you a lot

So.. Let's say the next time you will not storm inside the room where they captured Hongjoong and save him

And he purely regrets that he showed you how to use a gun

,,No baby.. Baby.. Listen." Hongjoong voice was cal, yet stern as he tried to calm you down as you shouted at one of the members of the gang who kidnapped him. ,,Calm down my love. Calm down. Everything is okay don't worry. Give me the gun and I will eliminate them." you shake your head at his command and looked at the man behind Hongjoong with a dark look.,, Did you just say no? Baby! That wasn't a yes or no question this is a command now give me the gun and.." before he could say more the first shot is fired and your husband looked at you with pure disbelief,,I- what did I say about shooting! "

Seonghwa

You know that it wasn't a good idea to go on your own behind Hongjoong back to save seonghwa

But you couldn't wait longer

You felt sick of not knowing what they are doing to your beloved husband and

You don't Anat him to be dead

You need him

More than anything

He is the only family you have and you can't risk to lose him

That why you did that

You were surprised how easy it was to get into the room Seonghwa is captured in

But then you pulled out his gag you knew excatly why it was so easy

Seonghwa is mad

More than mad

You run directly in the trap of the enimes of Ateez without evening knowing

He is scared and mad at you

In the end your attempt to save him ends with another hostage for the rivals to use against Ateez

With a rough pull on your hair someone pushed you on the floor, your head throbbing like hell because of the fall. ,,Ohh if that isn't Mr. /Mrs. Park." With a dark glare you looked up at the young male, who leaded the rival gang your husband kidnapped. ,,It's a shame that we have to meet under this circumstances. I mean you are.-". With one of his feet he shoved your head to the side to have a better look at your face. ,,Truly a beauty. I will definitely find a good use for you.". ,,Take your hand away you sick - " you heard the yelling of your husband but it got shut down with a punsh in his face, and after that someone pushed the gag inside his mouth again. ,,Don't interrupt me Park that rude." The taller male said and then looked at you with a smile. ,, So where were I? "

Yunho

So surprised as he sees you in the room

He is proud but also scared and slightly mad at you

He tough you how to fight and use a gun for protection and not to do stupid things like that

The first thing he does when you open the ropes is to make sure that you are fine

He will hold you close and he will lead you out of the building

Nobody is going to touch you again

Because is so madddd as he saw all the wounds you have

As soon as you both are home again he will hold you a lecture and scolds you end less and the boys too because they helped you to save him

They said that you can help them after you begged them for like hours

He is more mad at them than at you

But don't worry

After some time you get a special treatment for this

,,If my husband doesn't come out there alive I will make your life a living he'll boys!" the words left your mouth without thinking about them. You know that it's unfair to say that, of course it is but you are just so worried and scared about the wellbeing of your loved one. ,,Oh really? Then do something to help us and don't stand there and yell at us." Yeosang complained annoyed and rolled his eyes. And oh my.. He will wish that he never said that.

San

You are super proud of yourself

I mean.. You wanted to save him and now you are standing infront of him

You did something right and the lessons on fighting with San are now useful for something

As soon as you get rid of the ropes, San is hugging and cuddling you

Checks on you if you have some deeper wounds

But he is also super proud of you

He will constantly prais you after you both get out of the base of the rivals

Even if it wasn't easy

You will get a special reward for that

But you never want to do that again

It's way too much stress and it scared you and San

San just because he was scared about you

So... No more missions like that for you

You have to promise that

,,No please babygirl/ baby boy I want you to promise me that you never and I mean never do that again." Sans voice was soft, but even yet he sounds stern and serious, soemthing you don't heard that often from him. ,,Y.. Yes.. I promise you that. I won't do it again." you whispered slightly and looked on the ground, now feeling more than foolish and bad for not thinking twice about what could have happened to you too. ,,No no no don't be sad now princess/prince Im so proud of you. More than just proud so please don't be sad."

Mingi

He is a super cute boyfriend for you but a killer at his work

So when you saved him you saw his bad side for the first time

You saw the first time how he kills someone that night

And it was very scaring to see him like that

As soon as you left the room with mingi the soft side of him dissappeared and he told you exactly what to do

He didn't care that you are his wife/husband at the time and that you might be scared

The only thing what mattered is getting you out of there savely

After that is done his soft side would appear again and he would shower you in kisses

He praises you and he is proud of you

But of course he also would scold you

,,Shut the fuck up. I said to close your mouth a few second ago didn't I? I can understand that you are happy to know that I'm fine but that doesn't mean you can talk the whole time.". He whisper yelled at you and you immediately shut up at this. Mingi never spoke to you like that. ,,Now come on. We should get out of here before someone captures us because you are so loud."

Yeosang

Ice prince not that happy to see you

I mean he knew that you have a stubborn attitude

But that you would really try to save him on your own? How stupid can someone be

Like.. It wasn't a surprise that someone catched you

It wasn't a surprise that they brought you to the room where they tortured Yeosang

And he looked awful

You really felt bad because you couldn't help him

You felt bad for acting that dumb

Yeosang is mad at you yes, he thinks about how stupid you are and how stubborn

But that's just the facade he tries to keep up

He is concerned about you.. And he is scared

He can handle to be tortured, he is in this business long enough, but you

You are his precious little doll

And he is the only one who could hurt you

So let's say.. Yeosang will find a way to punish anyone who lays a single finger on you

So.. Let's say you will never do this again and if you do this again.. Yeosang will kill you on his own (not really but you know what I mean)

,,Come on Kang don't give me that look hm." the tall and young rival said as he looked directly into his eyes, a sadistic smile forming on his lips as he gently runs his finger over the table full of his tools. Your face screamed pure fear and you wanted to close your eyes, you wanted to not see what he picks up, but not even your eyes moved how you want it. ,,So sad that you can't speak Kang. I mean you could help me find the perfect tool for your precious doll." a faked disappointed sigh left his mouth and he looked over to you. ,,I'm Doyoung by the way. Just telling you this because we will have a lot of fun for a long time now precious."

Wooyoung

Getting in was easy

Getting out is the problem

And wooyoung knows that

The gun you had is gone and now you have to sneak you somehow

That's not really easy if everyone knows that someone is in the base because you weren't careful enough

Wooyoung tried his best to protect you

But.. Let's say that it doesn't end that well

Wooyoung protected you and now he is laying in your arms and bleeding

Don't worry Ateez stormed in in the right time and saved both of you

But just a few minutes later and Wooyoung would be dead

Even if he got hurt because of you the first thing he asked when he wakes up is if you are fine.

You are his priority

And he was so scared for you

He will maybe tease you with this for a long time

Tears over tears streamed over your face as Wooyoung layed in your arms, bleeding and unconscious. It was all your fault you thought and just as you looked up to see where the man is who shoot your man, you saw the familiar face of Hongjoong and the other boys. You screamed for there help and they immediately rushed towards you. ,, Pssht y/n everything is fine don't worry. Wooyoung will be fine too don't worry."

Jongho

Perfect boyfriend

Is super happy that you saved him but also super concerned about your health

He would also scold you a lot

But like the gentleman he is he would kill everyone on the way out of the basement

No one and I mean no one is going to harm you once you helped Jongho out of his ropes

Even if he looks like he would get unconscious every second because they did cruel things to him

He could never live happy if you would get hurt because you saved him

And you are the reason why he has the strength and power to get out of the rivals base

,,Y/N w.. What what are you doing here? ". Your husband asked you with big eyes and a surprised expression. ,, I'm saving you Jongho.. I'm sorry for not helping you sooner I'm really sorry." you whispered but then felt his lips on yours, it was a soft and quick touch but that was excatly what you needed right now. ,,Come on. You saved me and now I bring you out of here without getting hurt baby."

[nephilimsarchive]

A little help | Arthur Fleck x reader imagine

Summary: Gotham seems a little less grey as someone finally cares for him. Or: A stranger helps Arthur after he gets beaten up. He loses his sign but gains what he hopes could blossom into more than friendship.

Note: basically just someone finally being nice to Arthur, a little fluff

Warnings: none??? Some swearing, unspecified age gap, crappy ending

Word count: 2301

Hearing the door shut behind you you made your way down Gothams main street, relieved that your shift was over. You worked at a local restaurant, and while serving meals wasn’t quite your passion, the occasional tips you got im your tight fitting shirt made for a rather alright pay. Nonetheless, you surely weren’t anywhere near wealthy, not that you cared much. The only thing that bothered you was that you rarely had the time - and sometimes the money - to paint anymore. With your job and small apartment, which’s properties really didn’t deserve the rent you had to pay for it, your childhood dream of earning money with art remained what it was - a dream.

Yet you couldn’t quite stop yourself from hoping sometimes, and so you found yourself wandering the busy streets. Looking for anything to inspire you, taking longer than necessary to get home. You longed to see greenery between the skyscrapers and taxis, individuality between the anonymous faces passing you by, kindness between the insensivity of this gloomy town. And that’s when something on the other side of the road caught your eye. The vibrant colours of his costume in contrast with the grey concrete surrounding him. Cheerful music was playing. Most people didn’t even glance at him as he they were passing him by. Hell, you found most clowns rather frightening. But there was something about him, his grin or his dancing, the way he swung the sign that made you stare. Maybe you just couldn’t phantom how somebody, no, anybody could seem so …happy, doing what he does. Then again it was his job, and people here have no choice than to work hard to get by.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted as the subject of your focus scrambled to his feet after a hoard of teenage boys had stolen his sign. Picking up a faster pace you kept an eye on the scene that unfolded in front of your eyes, the boys suddenly crossing the street, not even paying attention to the cars that honked. My god, getting past the mass of people in front of you was bad enough as it was, you couldn’t even imagine running in full costume. Poor guy. You stopped in your tracks and gasped as one of the cars almost hit him, but he ran on as if nothing happened. And just like that, he suddenly was out of your vision. You started running, excusing yourself as you pushed past people, yet he was nowhere to be seen. Slowing your pace you tried to catch your breath, when muffled sounds caught your attention. You turned the next corner, your mouth agape in shock. Five boys were kicking the man that already lay on the ground, his sign in pieces next to him. Not being able to stop your instincts from kicking in you screamed „Hey!“, they turned towards you, „Get off him you fucking bastards!“ you growled, at which the guys merely chuckled, but ran away anyway. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Your mind raced as you sprinted towards the man and tried to assess the situation. He was on his side, ragged breaths jolting through him, shuddering. You crouched down next to him, but he barely noticed you at first, his hand trying to reach for the bits and pieces of the sign he had been holding. „That should be the least of your worries.“, you then said, giving him a sympathetic smile. „Can you stand?“, you asked, but all the answer you got was a quizzical look. It was as if he’s aware that there’s nobody else you could possibly be talking to, but still he didn’t believe you meant him. Then again you weren’t even sure he fully heard or understood you. Gently, as to not make more damage you took one of his hands into yours. „You can’t stay like this, we’ve got to get your injuries checked. I’m going to try and help you up now, okay?“ His eyebrows scrunched together as he stared at your intertwining hands. He weakly nodded. Slowly he sat up, then got to his feet, clutching his ribs as you tried to support his walking as much as you could. You would’ve headed to the hospital immediately, but in this state he could barely stand upright, and you didn’t own a car. So you just walked to your apartment, which was only a few blocks away.

Usually you wouldn’t take a stranger to your flat, but he seemed so helpless and lonely - it felt right to keep an eye on him, at least for a bit. You tried to make conversation on the way, asking him about his name, but he never answered. His head swayed while walking, and you didn’t know if he listened, but you continued talking to him anyway. If you were in his shoes you would’ve liked someone to distract you from the pain. And that is precisely how he felt. Little did you know that of course Arthur listened to your every word. His eyes flickered to how you held him, then to your face every now and then. From the moment you crouched down next to him he could’ve sworn that you’re an actual angel. Your voice became his mantra as you told him you’re sorry for what happened to him, that he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t answer because he simply didn’t know what to say. After all this time, how could it be that someone as kind, selfless and absolutely beautiful offered him help?

As you reached your flat and finally made it to your bed you sat him down. He looked around in confusion as you returned with your first aid kit, some cloths and frozen vegetables he could use to cool his side. Making a mental note to buy some new vegetables later you sat next to him. Carefully you rinsed the blood off his swollen lower lip, washing off the remains of his makeup, him being silent all along. He couldn’t help the way his eyes wandered over you, your (e/c) eyes, long wavy hair reaching just beneath your shoulders and then your lips. And how they were parted ever so slightly as you concentrated. Truly, he felt terrible for what he was thinking. He knew you were just being nice, but your proximity and the way your gentle hands touched his face didn’t help his case as he shifted his gaze just a little lower, getting a good look at your slender neck and even your cleavage. Your skin looked so soft. Fucking hell, you were simply breathtaking. His eyes fluttered close as he shifted a little. He was fully aware he barely knew you, you probably had a boyfriend, and you definitely definitely were what they call out of his league. You must’ve been at least five years younger than him, too. He felt rumbles of laughter bubbling in his throat He felt rumbles of laughter bubbling in his throat after you got up, fetching a glass of water and a pain med. you returned, and that’s when the laughter broke out, the irony of the situation painful. Now you must think he’s a total nutcase. Instead, you just sat next to him again, an amused but quizzical look on you face. He struggled to hand you a card that explained his condition, and you patiently waited for him to calm down again. His laughter broke out then. Great, now you must think he’s totally insane. Instead, you just sat down next to him again, an amused and quizzical expression on your face. He struggled to hand you the card that explained his condition. You were patiently waiting for him to calm down. „Well, I think your laugh’s lovely. Well, I think your laugh is quite lovely.”, you told him, trying to cheer him up, “Drink something.”, handing him the glass heis cheeks burned as did as you said, not so successfully hiding his burning cheeks as he sighed lightly when the cold glass touched the wound on his lip. Looking him over, you frowned slightly. Shuffling through your drawer you got out an oversized shirt and jogging pants. “If you’d like to change, the bathroom is right next door.” You placed the clothes next to him and turned to leave as a hoarse voice stopped you in your tracks. “Y.. Y/N..?” Ah! So he had listened. “Why are you helping me?”, he asked in a quiet tone, “You don’t even know my name.” Turning around you took a few steps closer to him again. “Then tell me.”, you returned, smiling. He looked as his feet then “Arthur, …my name is Arthur.” “Well then, Arthur, I’m helping you because because I want to. Nobody deserves what happened to you today. Nobody deserves what they did to you. Now, make yourself at home. Try to get some rest.”, you brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. He wouldn’t even have had a second thought about it, they were just kids. But you seriously meant what you said. As the rest of your words sank in he tried to protest, saying he couldn’t possibly sleep in your bed. Shaking your head lightly, you chose to make your way to the door. “If there’s anything else you need, feel free to ask.”

~~~

The next morning you were woken up by a noise you couldn’t recognise. It hadn’t taken you much time to fall asleep on your sofa the day before. It actually was a lot more comfortable than you had thought, or perhaps it was the exhaustion of you work shift followed by half-carrying Arthur here. Thinking of which, you turned to face the rest of the living room and got up. To your surprise, you saw movement through the glass of your kitchen door. The smell of scrambled eggs filled your nose as you entered, at once figuring out that the noises you heard must’ve been Arthur putting out dishes onto the small table. He had done his best trying to be quite, sneaking out of you bedroom past your sleeping form he had noted you looked wonderfully peaceful when asleep, then to the kitchen. Now there were toasts, some cut up apples and slightly burned scrambled eggs layed out on the kitchen table. It wasn’t a buffet per se, but more than enough to have your facial expression turn to one of surprise, happiness and then disbelief. As you shook your head lightly, brushing a hand through your disheveled hair Arthur suddenly seemed nervous „Oh, I‘m.. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to rummage through your belongings, I should’ve known that’s not what you do.“, you couldn’t help but look at him in shock then, how could he think your mad? He avoided your stare. „I‘ll clean everything up.“, he grabbed the handle of the pan as your hand over his stopped him. He looked up into your eyes, while his mirrored uncertainty and something you couldn’t quite pinpoint. „Arthur, my God.“, you breathed out, cradling his hand in both of yours, “The only reason I shook my head was that I cannot believe how you can stand here at 8 in the morning after the night you had, and all you worry about is making breakfast. You don’t have to apologise, and you certainly don’t have to clean up either. I can’t even remember the last time somebody went through such an effort for me. So thank you.“ You let go off his hand as he blushed profusely at your words. He stumbled over his words then, saying it’s the least he could do. Or that at least he tried, glancing at the pan in embarrassment.

The two of you ate in silence for a short while, Arthus studying your expression as you took bites. He paid attention to the rest of your apartment then, it was rather small but the way you had little pictures, plants and other adornments everywhere made it feel very cozy. It fit the impression you made, you seemed like such a positive and kindhearted person, always trying to make the best out of everything. You were sitting across him wearing a tank top, short pants and a robe over it and you looked absolutely adorable, Arthur thought. He could only wish this wasn’t the last time he got to spend time with you. You noticed the way he had been staring, hiding your reddened cheeks behind your hair. Your voice interrupted his train of thoughts “Are you going to get your injuries checked, Arthur?” Truth be told, he didn’t plan on going to any hospital. He hated burdening people with his issues, and he didn’t quite have the money to pay for any treatment -if needed- either. But you the way you looked at him made him question his attitude; your eyes were full of hope, begging him to go. As if you actually cared for his well-being. Apparently, his lack of response answered your question, as you continued: “You are aware that if you don’t get yourself checked, I’ll have to make you come back here weekly from now on to make sure you’re doing okay?” Your light tone made a weight fall if his shoulders as you let out a breathless laugh. For some reason you hoped that he’d actually accept your proposal, even though it came out more jokingly than anything. He seemed so pure and kind to you that you wondered what made him as insecure. Whatever it is, you wanted to show him that he doesn’t need to be. You wanted to be there for him, you realised. Arthur smiled at you then, a genuine smile for once “I wouldn’t mind that one bit.”

[ain-t-bovvered]

15x07 Commentary

YEAH I’M SO LATE BUT I HAVE SHIT TO DO .

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : go

Giulia: Yas eileen

Zee: This thing with the bullet I still don’t completely get

Kat: So happy she’s back

Kat: It’s not a real bullet

Giulia: Us

Nat : do they always have to have a flashback tho

Zee: Future corpses

Kat: But it’s explained a bit more this episode

Nat : Tag yourself

Giulia: I know the blonde one

Giulia: I’m the brunette

Zee: I’m the brunette

Kat: Brunette for sure

Nat : I'm a mix

Kat: Nah babe you’re the blonde

Zee: I’ve only been the blonde once

Zee: Amazing

Nat : What

Nat : I didn't hear a car

Kat: At least the blonde didn’t get murdered

Zee: Bitch wipe the spit

Nat : Yet

Giulia: Oh no clean your lips yuck

Kat: Too much throw up sound

Nat : Ridiculous. You would still hear it

Giulia: Well ok wow

Giulia: I jumped not gonna lie

Nat : Ew What is that

Zee: Was that a werewolf ?

Giulia: The wendigo feels

Nat : snorts

Kat: Red shirt of sex

Giulia: Oh look wallowing in depression again

Nat : Ah Deano

Zee: Weak

Kat: Yum

Kat: No surprise there

Zee: What’s that sound of his lips?

Nat : "Yeah"

Zee: Mostly

Kat: SAM AND EILEEN ARE SO CUTE

Giulia: OH NO I LOVE THIS

Zee: Real bacon

Nat : Real bacon?

Nat : lol

E: We might've gotten just a little carried away with the margaritas last night.

Giulia: WOW

Kat: Fucking adorable

Giulia: SO DOMESTIC

Kat: So domestic

S: You're turning down bacon?

D: Mm, yes, yeah, I'm actually... I'm gonna head out.

Kat: Get out

Giulia: DEAN’s weird

Zee: I’m good Dean motto

Nat : "I'm good" I'M GOOD, GOOOOOOOOD

D: It means I got to... I got to get out of here, okay? I just... I got to...I'm gonna take a drive, clear my head.

S: Eileen and I have stuff to do.

Giulia: Lol

Giulia: I BET U DO

Zee: Look at that face

Kat: Aw someone’s feeling like a third wheel

Zee: Aaagggggghhh

Giulia: MY GOD

Kat: The dimples

D: Um, okay, but if, uh, things go your way, just make sure you put the sock on the door so I know.

Nat : sock on the door

Zee: Sock on the door

Kat: The wink melts

Giulia: not only on the door

Nat : well that would be highly uncomfortable

Giulia: Oh shush you know what im talking about

Nat : What's with the hair

Kat: DUKES IS A CLUE

Zee: Can he shut his face ?

Giulia: The accent lol

Giulia: He weird

Nat : Jensen's jealous that the sheriff can have an accent and he doesn't

Zee: Do you all talk like that Kat ?

Kat: Excuse you. I do not speak like that.

Giulia: Snort

Kat: Dean is not impressed

Zee: Can we focus on the scruff for just a sec?

Giulia: And the crazy hair

Nat : SHUT YO FACE

Kat: The blue steel

Giulia: You’ve got the look

Zee: Is he hitting on him?

Giulia: IS IT TIME

Zee: Swayze’s???

Kat: Roadhouse nod

Zee: Look at that strut

Giulia: Nice

Nat : Fun that there's only one parking spot left right in front

Giulia: I wanna go in a dump like that

Nat : Lots of Woo girls

Giulia: Hand it over

Nat : Get in line

Giulia: Lol i like her. Will she die

Giulia: Oh well now she will

Zee: Nice

Nat : Ow

Kat: Damn girl

Giulia: Cute. They cute

Kat: Dean friggin Winchester

Zee: Is this ep filled with his close ups?

Giulia: So cute

Nat : HE owns this joint?

Zee: I’m happy

Nat : Will this be the place where Dean will always end up tho. Because his friend owns the joint

Zee: Look at that couple

Giulia: SO CUTE

Giulia: the stares

Giulia: Cute

Kat: SO CUTE

Giulia: Why don t we do something fun

Zee: Do something fun

S: Yeah. Um... ideas?

E: I mean, a few.

Zee: Go girl

Kat: GET IT EILEEN

Giulia: NO. COME ON

Zee: Seriously ???

Giulia: AH BUT IT S CAS SO OK

Kat: It’s not okay

Kat: CAS IS A FUCKING COCKBLOCKING ANGEL

Nat : Ah

Giulia: my bb has done nothing wrong in his entire existence,ever, shut yo mouths

Zee: WHAT A COCK BLOCK

Nat : Snort

S: So we've been looking for signs of Chuck and Lilith

C:  Lilith?

S: Yeah, uh, she's back.

Giulia: U should have read your messages cas

Nat : Hey, nobody can say that they've been cock blocked by an aNgEL oF tHe LorD

Zee: I think that Sam’s virginity might have grown back man

C: So there may be some of you inside Chuck.

Giulia: Ew

Zee: Ew

Nat : Is that sexual

Giulia: Family business beers lol

Kat: I think you’re right

L: I always liked that crusty son of a bitch.

Giulia: Awe dad. Crusty sob lol

Kat: Oh.

Kat: No

Giulia: Ah well praises from dad Winchester

Zee: His crinkles are distracting me

Giulia: And his smirk

Kat: Aren’t they great

Nat : THE MAN IS DISTRACTING ME

Giulia: ...ah that stare

Zee: So that’s how you felt last ep? @Giulia

Giulia: Yes. U get it now

Zee: He needs to shut up

Giulia: Awe dean. And now some zoom

Nat : Dean, you don't wanna do that

Zee: That head nod hurt my soul

S: Cass, are you sure about this?

C: No, but I am sure I can't heal the wound. Maybe I can probe it.

Giulia: Yes probe cas

Zee: Probe

Kat: Ew lol

Giulia: Im ready

Giulia: Same

Zee: This is gonna sting

Nat : This is gonna sting

Nat : snorts

Giulia: Sam are you ok

Nat : a little

Giulia: Awe

Giulia: Oh wow

Kat: DAMN IT

Giulia: Nice cas

Nat : AH

Zee: Amazing

Nat : Well he's not ok now is he

Kat: Poor Sammy

Giulia: Awe that cheek rub

Zee: Sam knocked out again

D: This is Dean's other-other-other-other phone. Leave a message.

Zee: Other other other

Giulia: AH how does it feels now cas

C: Dean, I need you to call me back. Sam is hurt, and I..

Nat : How many phones does he has

Zee: Jaggers

Giulia: Look at that tuff of hair

Nat : Ew

Giulia: Slutty

Kat: Everything about him is slutty

Zee: Can’t spell it

Zee: Love it tho

Nat : Split up Triplets?

Zee: He’s gonna get some me thinks

Giulia: What a dumb stare

Kat: Ah I miss blushy Dean

Giulia: Oh him again

Nat : Who dat

Giulia: Sam winchester is hurt

Giulia: What else is new

Giulia: The one with gabe grace

Nat : A collecter

Kat: You think so huh

C: Let me rephrase. If you don't help me tonight,

Zee: Cas is serious

Giulia: WHO U CALLING

Kat: A return of badass Cas finally

Giulia: Lol yellow fever

Nat : Cas has zero patience

Giulia: Same

Zee: We’ve been knew

Giulia: U have even less

Nat : No but I just don't think that he'll get any this season cuz it won't do anything to the plot

Nat : Plot of dying guest stars

D: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better.  

Giulia: what she said

D: Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

Giulia: Damn brother that’s rough

Zee: Rough decade

Zee: No shit

Giulia: He has no idea

Kat: Ugh that smile

Nat : Dean has doubts. I hate that

Giulia: aw look that is future dean if he’s going on like that

Giulia: GIMME

L: Remember that old song your dad used to play us before we'd go out on a Hunt?

Giulia: GIMME THE SONG. GIMMIEH

D: Oh, no.

All of us: Oh, yeah.

Zee: YAS

Giulia: come on BOI

Kat: I had to look the song up

Giulia: YEAH what song

Kat: I didn’t know it 😂

Zee: LIPSYNCHING

Kat: Dukes was a clue

Zee: DUKES OF HAZARD

Giulia: idk her

Zee: THE SHOW

Giulia: still don’t know her

Giulia: AWE HE NERVOUS

Nat : YEEEEEE HAW

Giulia: YEEEEP

Kat: DEA IS SO NERVOUS AND SHY AND CUTE

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Kat: Exactly

Giulia: flips table

Kat: HE REALLY SINGS

Kat: THAT LOW NOTE

Nat : Better than Karaoke Demon Dean

Giulia: don’t let him hear you

Giulia: YAAAS

Kat: FUCK ME

Zee: Wait in line

Zee: He’s so happy I’m scared

Giulia: AWE 20sec of happiness

Kat: NO

Giulia: STOP. MY BODY CAN T TAKE IT TO

Nat : Ah

Kat: Damn I’m soaked again

Giulia: Me

Zee: Thank god don’t need my ovaries anymore

Kat: He sounds so Texan this ep

Zee: Oh fuck yeah

Kat: Them bowlegs

Nat : What a concidence

Giulia: WHO HE CALLED

Zee: Not the ghostbusters

Nat : I like Sergei. He's got attitude

Giulia: I hate him

Kat: YOU’LL FIND OUT

C: Okay, that's enough. You're here for a reason.

Giulia: Cas needs to tie his fucking tie because he slutty af

Zee: He’s following the mood of the ep

Kat: Poor Eileen so worried

Zee: Dying?

spn fandom: what else is new

Giulia: Not even surprised

Giulia: Of course he is

Nat : What else is new

Giulia: She loved jesus and america too

Giulia: So I’m a bad girl

Zee: It was a good car

Giulia: FIGHT THE FAIRIES

Nat : lol it's the tom petty song

Giulia: me in the morning

Zee: You love Jesus and America in the morning ?

Kat: Love that song

Giulia: Am I too young for that shit?

Nat : Freeeeee Faaaaallin

Giulia: No, that whiskey in the coffee. Pay attention

Zee: Yeah. Like you paid attention last week

Giulia: Well I was on the important stuff

Kat: Okay children

Giulia: Look at my confused bb

Kat: Sergei is so dramatic

Giulia: Nice shit

Zee: The legs

Giulia: Shot

Zee: Also correct

Nat : HE knows that the junkyard is NOT a runway right?

Giulia: Don t think he does

Kat: Everywhere is a runway for him

Giulia: That haircut is bad ok

Kat: I saw it coming a mile away

Nat : He ded

Zee: Wait for it

Nat : Like I said, plot of dying guest stars

Giulia: They need to stop with these jumpscares

Giulia: SERGEI

Zee: Fucker

Nat : They need to find Amara. Think Amara is sick of her brother herself. she'd probably help them without even wanting anything in return

Kat: Don’t worry Cas takes care of him

Giulia: good

Giulia: Nice Eileen

Giulia: The key to death. Psh fuck off

Kat: The key to death. That’s going to come into play I bet

Giulia: So dramatic

Zee: Cas still confused. And angry

Giulia: Look at that face

Nat : Sergei is so fucking extra

Zee: Suck it Sergei

Kat: He called Bobby

Giulia: Oh the other bobby. Forgot about him

Nat : They should get the key and open the door to the empty. Bring Jack back. And death. Ah why am I babbling

Kat: It’s what you do

Giulia: Snort

Nat : The eye squint

Kat: It doesn’t open the empty though I don’t think lol

Giulia: Wtf is in there

Kat: Aw Dean tied down. My fave

Nat : What is that thing 

Nat : What she said

Giulia: But also

Zee: Shut up

Giulia: Will dean have to kill his fwriend

Kat: 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Giulia: Nice

Zee: He will huh?

Giulia: It won’t be a great addition to his mental health

Nat : Have you been watching the same show

Kat: All his friends die

Giulia: All their friends die

Kat: Well Eileen’s back lol

Giulia:FOR HOW LONG

Kat: SHUT YOUR FACE

Giulia: I M JUST BEING REALISTIC

Kat: I know but my heart can’t take it

Nat : Every one who comes on the show die

Zee: Shush

Giulia: OH NOW YOU DO CARE

Zee: Can blood really go up the tube?

Giulia: If there is vacuum yeah

Nat : I don't think they care

Giulia: The monster needs to suck

Nat : It doesn't suck

Giulia: He stupid

Zee: Oh stop please

Kat: Come on Dean get out

Giulia: What she doesn’t say

Kat: Nice

Nat : The monster will get out

Nat : what he said

Zee: And kill lee

Awe look at Dean’s repulsion towards his friend

Giulia: Nah dean will kill lee. Because this is supernatural

Zee: Daddy’s home

Nat : Surprise

Kat: The head

Giulia: Is that the sound of water 2

Kat: Ew

Zee: God bless Texas

Nat : Why does Lee do that for again? I missed it

Zee: His happiness

Kat: Money health

Nat : Feeding people to a monster makes him happy

Kat: Because fuck everyone else

Giulia: Ah saw it

Giulia: Oh yeah dean?

Kat: The monster gives him things for keeping it fed

Nat : Ah Nat : Dean distracts me

Kat: He yummy

Zee: I kill monsters

Giulia: Awe dean . Well you become the hero or the monster you hunt i guess

Zee: Welcome to my world

Giulia: Ouch

Zee: Impaled

Giulia: That should hurt so much more

Nat : Ah, that's the cue he was talking about that didn't break at first and he had to "walk off the pain" Kat: What

Giulia: ?

He told it once at a con I think? They had a fight with a cue and the cue didn't break like twice or three times and his back was blue

Giulia: Awe bb dean

Kat: Aw his murder face. Now sad face

Giulia: CAS

Giulia: awe look at them

Giulia: Oh

Nat : Awkward

Zee: That bed is too small

Kat: No, he’s just huge

Kat: What she said

Zee: What she said

Giulia: Everything is too small concerning to sam

Nat : Preview?

Giulia: TRAILER TIME

Kat: Ya go watch

Nat : Adam snorts

Kat: ADAM

Giulia: SNORT. FAMILY SUCKS

Kat: Basically tells them to suck it lol

Giulia: you let me rot in hell. Well he ain t wrong

Nat : Can u blame him

Kat: From his view, they must

Zee: They left him there for ages

ee: I’m happy with this ep. Need to change panties but I’m happy

Zee: You can leave this out

Kat: No leave it in lol

sam and Eileen cute gif

Giulia: They kill me

Giulia: Ok but if that’s sam endgame i’m so good with that. My bb deserve it

Giulia: Hope it doesn’t end in smoke

Giulia: snort

Giulia: That was mean

Kat: Wow Giuls

Giulia: Ok but look at it from chuck’s eyes

Giulia: SHOCK FACTOR

Giulia: PLOT

Giulia: CONTINUITY

Giulia: lol

.

.

.

15x08 coming soon

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby​ or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl​  @destiel-honeypie​      @mariekoukie6661​      @dragontamerm​       @closetspngirl​    @rainflowermoon​     @mattiecat​       @bunnybaby121115​  @aliaitee2​    @jacks-word-of-the-day​     @4evamc​       @dammitsammy​     @legendary-destiel​   @winchesterprincessbride​    @destielhoneybee​    @castiellover20   @ravenhg​ @evvvissticante​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @markofdean79​s

[thenamesseven]

Warnings: Angst, heavy angst 😭

A/N: It's finally here guys! Liar's finale has come. Even though there will be an epilogue the story ends in this chapter, (Y/N) finally made her decision. OoOof Im honestly so nervous about this, I care about your reactions a lot! Anyways, hope you enjoy the end lf the story and thanks for reading every single chapter of it!

Hearing Jinyoung voice out your inner fears felt as if thousands of daggers were stuck in your chest, getting deeper with each word that got out of his lips they also twisted, willing to make you feel as much pain as possible. You didn’t cry though, tears had stopped rolling down your cheeks due to the shock overwhelming you, your brain seeking for possible explanations to justify what had pushed Jinyoung to do what he did, what did you do wrong to make him cheat. It was obvious that if he had looked for another woman outside of your relationship you weren’t giving him what he truly needed.

Jinyoung hadn’t even blinked since the words left his lips, his eyes were glued to your figure as he watched your expression carefully. You had stopped crying but he knew that wasn’t a good sign, he knew you were bottling up your feelings. He saw the exact moment he broke you, your husband knew you well enough to know you would start blaming yourself at any moment and he surely didn’t want that. What he did was his own fault and you had nothing to do with his idiotic behaviour.

Honestly, Jinyoung would have preferred if you started throwing a huge fit. He wanted you to start screaming, to hit him, to swear or insult him or even to kick him out of the apartment. He wanted you to tell him how stupid and selfish he had been, how he had ruined the relationship you two had built through the years together but instead he only got silence, silence that made the mean voices in his head sound louder. Silence that was killing him.

“(Y/N)” The sound of your name brought you back to reality, your eyes slowly moving up to meet Jinyoung’s. You felt how your heart stopped beating when your eyes met, when you saw the sadness flooding his eyes, his face and his whole body. Jinyoung was drowning and he was pulling you down with him.

“No” You shook your head not letting him continue, hearing his voice would make you think of him with that other woman, it would make you think of all the things he did behind your back and of all the times he lied to your face. “I need time” You whispered in a broken voice.

You stood up from your chair with shaky legs, your hands holding the hem of your sleeves tightly while you quietly made your way into your bedroom feeling your husband’s eyes on you, following your every move. You kept your eyes forward, on the wall, because you knew that looking at him would break you but looking at your belly, which was the evidence of the family you two were about to create, would definitely destroy you.

A shaky sigh left your lips when you pulled the door opened, you thought you would find the calm and comfort you needed in your bedroom but that only made your wounds bigger. You had shared so many moments with Jinyoung in every single room of the apartment that there was nothing in the place you were used to call home that wouldn’t remind you of him, of how much you love him.

Staying here would drive you insane.

Acting on autopilot, you walked inside, ignoring the tears that were coming back to your eyes to trace the same pace down your cheek and opened your wardrobe. You bit your lip hard, declining yourself from sobbing, from crying like a baby when he still was in another room because you knew that Jinyoung would come to your rescue, Jinyoung would comfort you and say what you needed to hear but you needed a clear mind from him to make a decision, you needed to sort this out without him.

Once you got all you needed you walked out of the bedroom, clearing your tears with your sleeves as you looked around for your phone.

“Where are you going?” He asked, still standing on the same place you left him, quietly looking at you “I am the one that should go, you need to stay here ba-(Y/N)” Jinyoung corrected himself, knowing you weren’t in the mood for pet names

“I need to get out of here” You whispered shakely, agitated. You were like a ticking bomb that nobody, not even yourself, knew when were you going to explode.

Truly worried for you, Jinyoung reached out and grabbed your wrist gently, stopping you for a second to look into your eyes. You quickly moved your hand away as if his touch burned you, seeing him wince at your reaction. Your husband let his hands fall down in defeat but he still stood close to you, concerned “(Y/N) you need to calm down” He talked softly, knowing it was easier said than done “Stay here, warm and comfortable, I’ll head to the dorms tonight” He insisted once again.

“I can’t” You said in a whisper, shaking your head gently as you looked at him “If I stay here I’ll see you everywhere” Explaining him the situation broke you even more, the way Jinyoung looked when you said you didn’t want to see him was the look of sorrow, of suffering and dying inside

“You don’t want to see me?” He asked, voice as quiet as yours

“Not right now”

That was the last blow for Jinyoung, it felt like you had punch him and took away all the oxygen in his lungs. Even though he had tried to mentally prepare himself for this moment, there was no way Jinyoung would have imagined it would hurt so much, the guilt of breaking you, of stealing your happiness away was torturing his entire being. Feeling his knees get weak, Jinyoung plopped himself down onto the couch as he rested his elbows on his own knees, hands hiding his pained face from you.

You knew you shouldn't feel guilty for the pain he was feeling, you knew it was unfair for yourself to feel that way but you couldn't help it. “I'll be alright, I'll call Yugyeom, I need someone to talk to”

You expected some snarky remarks about you running to Yugyeom the second you found out about his infidelity, Jinyoung had not been a huge fan of your strong and close friendship with the maknae on these past few days but surprisingly, your husband just nodded and waited for you to get out, giving you the space you so much needed.

--------------------------------------------------

By the time you reached the dorms, everybody knew what happened and had busied themselves outside or inside their rooms to give you and Yugyeom the privacy you were probably seeking for. It’s not that you didn’t want the other guys around but first you wanted to talk with your best friend, to sort this out with his help even when you were the only one who could make the decisions in which your future depended on.

It was one am and Yugyeom had locked you into his bedroom as soon as you stepped into their home, at first he had been nervous, expecting you to break down but when he saw you weren’t the mess he thought you would be he relaxed a little. However, when the movie you two were watching ended he changed his position to be sitting down across from you, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt just like yours as you watched the ending credits rolled on the screen, trying to delay the conversation you two wanted to have.

“I don’t know what to do” You confessed after a couple of minutes, breaking the silence between the two of you, earning a sad smile from Yugyeom “He looked so broken when I left Yugyeom I-” He raised one of his hands, shaking his head to stop you.

“Have you seen yourself? If he looks broken then you’re absolutely shattered” Yugyeom talked softly, almost afraid of hurting you even more with your words “(Y/N), I honestly and truly think that you should be selfish in this situation. Forget about Jinyoung for a second, forget about your marriage and your kids...How do you feel about infidelity?”

“I always said I wouldn’t tolerate it” You admitted, voice breaking in the middle of the sentence “That it is something unforgivable and believe me when I say that I do not want to see Jinyoung right now” You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for some brief seconds “But….I just still can’t believe this is happening to me Yugyeom, what did I do? Am I that bad? Did I make him bored?”

“Baby no” He said softly, taking your hands to pull you gently into his arms. You relaxed in the comfort Yugyeom’s broad chest gave you, the warmth radiating from his body making your frantic heart beats slow down “You didn’t do anything wrong” His words triggered the tears that were accumulating in your eyes, making you sob quietly “You are the most beautiful, funny and cheerful girl I have ever met” He complimented, leaving soft pecks on your head as his hands moved up and down on his back “Hey” Quietly Yugyeom leaned back, his big hands cupping your wet cheeks as he showed the biggest, dorkiest smile he had “You’re perfect, don’t let his shitty decisions change your mind” He quietly said leaning down to kiss both of your cheeks.

You weren’t thinking straight, you had turned your brain off a long time ago. Acting on instinct, willing to get more physical comfort from Yugyeom you quickly turned your head when he leaned down. You were aiming for his lips but he was quick enough to stop himself before the kiss happened, looking down at you conflicted.

Your love for Yugyeom was absolutely platonic, you liked him as your best friend and not as something else but tonight, since your husband had seemed to push you away to get comfort from another woman you wanted to feel how that felt too, you were dying to taste somebody else’s lips on yours and you were idiotic and selfish enough to try and pull Yugyeom into that trap.

As soon as you realized what you tried to do, you pulled back and out of his arms, your hands reaching up to cover your mouth as your eyes opened wide. Your brain was finally working, making you realized what a fucked up thing you tried to do “Yugyeom I….Oh my god….I’m so sorry...I really didn’t mean to” You whispered waiting for him to start freaking out, to start yelling or complaining.

Instead, he simply smiled and pushed you back into his arms, lying down on the bed with you by his side. His fingers started playing with your hair, his eyes following the tears that kept falling down your cheeks.

“I understand, you’re seeking some love but I’m not the right person for that” He whispered gently, his lips pecking your forehead "And it is not the right time to do this either" Yugyeom looked into your eyes “Don’t misunderstand me though, I’m not rejecting you because of you” He said smiling at the small confused frown on your face “You’re so sweet and so stunning that I’m not even worth of being your rebound and I really do not want you to do something you will regret when this little cute brain of yours comes back to being a smartass”

Yugyeom was an angel. You truly didn’t deserve him.

He had his arms around you the whole time, not letting you go even in his sleep. Praises and silly jokes to make you smile slipped from his lips every five seconds, his heart beating happily whenever the corner of your lips twitched. Yugyeom even let you rest your head on his chest, focus on the sound of his heart beat until you fell asleep.

--------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure she is okay?”

It was currently eleven in the morning and Jinyoung hadn’t slept one bit. As much as Jaebum would have liked to check on you and apologize for keeping the secret with Yugyeom, he also knew that his friend, his band mate needed some emotional support no matter how bad he had fucked up this time, he wouldn’t ignore his best friend.

“Jackson literally shoved a bunch of pancakes down her throat, they wouldn’t just let her come back here without having breakfast” Jaebum replied sitting on the couch besides Jinyoung, the latter noticed how he had managed to avoid the question but didn’t feel like asking again

“Do you think she will forgive me?” Jaebum looked at Jinyoung, his mind looking for a way to explain his thoughts.

“Everyone is able of forgiving” Jaebum said with a small shrug “Knowing (Y/N) she will probably end up forgiving you” Jinyoung visibly relaxed at his friend’s answer but Jaebum wasn’t done speaking “The real question is, will she be able to trust you again? I think that’s what you need to worry the most about because my friend, without trust, your relationship won’t work” Jaebum looked how Jinyoung was internally crashing down, his red, puffy eyes filling up with tears once again “She can forgive you a thousand times Jinyoung but if she doesn’t trust you then it’s game over for you”

Jinyoung bit his lower lip pretty hard, letting out a shaky sigh “Do you think she will let me see the twins?”

“That is up to her” Jaebum answered, looking at Yugyeom’s text telling him they were coming over already “I wouldn’t let my kids grow up with a cheater though” Jaebum knew Jinyoung was hurting but he also needed to scold him, to remind him over and over again how bad he had fucked up his chance of being happy in life.

“A cheater huh? How did everything turn out like this, Jaebum? Why the hell I decided to do something like this to her?” Jinyoung asked rubbing his eyes quietly “I don’t deserve her, I didn’t deserve her”

“You’re right” Jaebum agreed “You don’t deserve her, after what you did, you just don’t”

Those were the last words that were exchange between the two friends, Jinyoung crying in silence and Jaebum just sitting there by his side. He knew Jinyoung needed support but he also knew how badly he had hurt you and he wasn’t willing to praise his friend for the horrible thing he did. It was almost relieving when he heard the jingle of the keys against the lock, the sound of small and slow steps entering the apartment.

Jinyoung stood up at the speed of light, his heart breaking when he saw your small figure hidden behind Yugyeom’s. The maknae, who felt angered at Jinyoung at the beginning, felt his heart breaking at the sight of his hyung, Jinyoung looked lost, desperate as if he had lost all sanity a human being could have. Jaebum’s eyes landed on you and he gulped hard, walking away from his friend and closer to you to give you a comforting hug. You didn’t waste time and wrapped your arms around Jaebum’s body, your dry eyes not having enough tears to cry as he rocked you from side to side gently, soothing you by running his hand through your hair.

“Need anything?” He asked peeking down at you, still not letting you go. You shook your head, knowing this was their cue to go and leave you alone to face Jinyoung by yourself. “Call us if you need anything, the six of us will be here before you can blink” Jaebum smiled down at you, squeezing your delicate body one last time to finally let you go. Glancing back at Jinyoung, the leader nodded and headed out waiting for Yugyeom.

“Same for you Jinyoung” He said looking at who he considered to be his older brother before turning to you “Take it easy okay? Don’t push yourself over the limit” He kissed your head one more time as he later proceed to walk out of the apartment and close the door behind him.

Silence was overwhelming, you could feel it pushing you down, making you weak. Jinyoung’s eyes were stuck on your face, he hated to be the reason of your pain, he hated to be the one who made your eyes swollen and red, he despised himself for making you look so broken.

“Did you sleep well?” Out of stupidity or necessity to hear your voice again Jinyoung broke the silence between the two of you with the first question that popped into his mind. You quietly shook your head, putting your purse down on the table. “I heard Mark and Youngjae cooked pancakes for breakfast” He tried again, his eyes going down to your lips but they didn’t move. “Bet they weren’t as good as yours but they probably were better than the cereals Jaebum gave me this morning”

The depressed smiled that darkened his face made something snap inside of you. Your body was acting on autopilot once again, making you take step after step closer to the one that had broken you, to the love of your life that had lied to you and to the only person in your life that had dared to break your trust. Although, saying you didn’t feel some kind of twisted relief when you crashed against Jinyoung’s chest, when his arms wrapped around your body would be a huge lie.

No words were exchanged between the two of you, Jinyoung started sobbing silently as he buried his face against your neck, seeking that calm and relief from your scent and you started sobbing right after him but not so quietly, your sobs were loud and fast, almost making you hyperventilate. Your hands were gripping the back of his shirt either with the intentions of keeping him close to you or breaking the cloth of his shirt like he broke your heart. You truly didn’t know.

But right there, with your body against his, with his warmth surrounding you and your scent overwhelming him the both of you broke down and this time none of you could pull the other up. Both of your knees gave up and the two of you ended up kneeling on the floor, crying your heart and dry eyes out.

Jinyoung cried for hurting you, for not appreciating you enough. You cried for losing him, for not being able to recognize there was something wrong because no matter what Yugyeom had told you, you still felt guilty.

“I'm so sorry” Jinyoung let go of you to grab your hands, intertwining your fingers “(Y/N), I'm so fucking sorry” His sobs got louder and louder, tears landing on the floor close to your knees. You watched him break down, time stopping as you saw his tears rolling down his cheeks in slow motion. “Please, please forgive me” He cried, he cried like a child whose favorite toy had been taken away, like a baby willing to get their parent's comfort and attention “Please take me back (Y/N)”

You gasped hearing his words, looking into his eyes. It surprised you, Jinyoung wasn't a person that showed his feelings easily, you weren't use to seeing him cry or beg like this. In fact, it was the first time he was being so vulnerable in front of you. He looked desperate, holding onto your hands like a castaway would hold onto his last chance of survival.

When you looked into his eyes you saw that Jinyoung wouldn't get out of this one without you.

You were shocked, your eyes locked on your fingers intertwined while Jinyoung's crying had turned into a background sound. Your wedding rings came into view, your heart stopping at the sight. How could you abandon him when he was all you knew? When he was the love of your life?

You knew Yugyeom had told you to be selfish, to put yourself before him this time but could you really get over him?  Would you be able to start from the beginning by yourself? After all you two went through?

Unfortunately, for the both of you, you acted on instinct once again. The fear of loneliness pushing you to make a decision that later in your lives, the two of you would realize it wasn't the right one.

“Jinyoung” You called out his name, the sound of your hoarse and weak voice catching his attention. His desperate eyes landed on yours, his heart stopping when he saw your tears “I forgive you, we'll get over this”

Jinyoung got quiet but not because he was surprised at your words but because Jaebum's words from earlier echoed in his mind.

You forgave him but could you trust him again?

By the look in your eyes Jinyoung knew that even if you stayed together, it was already over for the two of you.

He had scarred you for forever and there was no way of fixing that.

[lovelyyy-luna]

✶march 13, 2021✶

It's alright, I'm right here

Why did you choose me? \ You know very well why Y/N

I can do it myself

I'm a monster \ no you're not

Please hold me

I'm begging you please don't lock yourself in your room

Give me one single fucking reason why I shouldn't leave

That wasn’t a question

Don't listen to them

Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that

I don't care what they think, to me, you are perfect.

You don't have to be alone

This is illegal

Your tutor is pretty hot

Why have you been so secretive lately?

I think we should take a break

How come you're the only one that can see me?

I just wanted to hear your voice

I'm not helping you babysit

Did we sleep together?

If you don't do it I will?

You're scared? Really?

This place is abandoned, don't worry

This was a stupid idea

This is crazy..none of this is real

You need to believe me, please!

Close the door

It’s three in the morning

I should have told you a long time ago

Why are you helping me?

You're in love with her

We could get arrested to this

Love is overrated

Watch me

I've missed this

Was it all a lie?

This is all your fault

Are you happy now? Huh? Does this make you happy?

Maybe I'm meant to be alone

Did it ever occur to you that I'm hurting too?

You said that you'd always be there for me. What happened?

I'm sorry what are you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes

If I ever see you anywhere near her, you'll have to deal with me

Is that a challenge

Get behind me now!

Here I have an extra weapon

You scared the shit out of me, I'm never letting you go

I am not jealous

I think I love you

Don't be silly I want to stay up with you

How about a kiss?

Dance with me!

We’d make a cute couple

Do you trust me?

if you don't want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don't just lie and say it's fine.

Stop staring at me

I said I don't know anything

You don’t think its a bit much

Call me one more time to see what happens

Put some clothes on for the love of god

Can you just give me a hug? Just once?

That was the last time. Im serious this time

It’s pitch black in here and I can see you're blushing

Am I supposed to be scared of you?

I want to take a shower so you should probably join me. It'll save water

You're just not the same anymore

It's midnight where the hell are you

What the hell if your problem

Why do you run away from all your problems?

You can't keep it all inside you know? Bottling it up won't do you any good

Hey I know you're hurting but you're not alone okay

I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression

You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset

Calm down you're scaring me

Don't look at me like that

Were you ever going to tell me?

Sorry doesn't fix everything

I loved you first

You broke my heart

I was alone

We have to stop

You left me

I can't do this anymore

Your hair is really soft after you wash it

Shh stop fussing I’m just braiding your hair

Would it be alright if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you

If you steal the blankets I am going to put my cold feet on you

Here let’s share the blanket

You Are comfy

You are my new pillow

But I want to hear you sing

We can talk over dinner

Don't get up I’ll do it

Stargazing was a good idea

I'll be here to protect you

It’s okay I couldn't sleep anyway

I heard you talking in your sleep

Your bedhead is really cute

I love your hugs

You mess with them you mess with me

I don't want to sleep alone tonight

I love you, you know that right

I'm Coming to get you to stay there

Okay so don't freak out but I got flour everywhere

Woah I never knew you had a tattoo

Stop moving

Im worried about you

What happened to you

You can't stay in bed all days 

You're a terrible liar

Don't act so innocent

Do you believe in soulmates?

What if something happens to you

Are you sure about this

I gotta say I’m a little surprised

I'm not a child

You're screwed

You called me to remember

Do you need to go to the hospital?

Sleep is for the weak

I don't like the way they look at you

I don't want to be friends

Let's get out of here

Maybe you should sit down

You're burning up

I've got your back

Walk it off

I wish I could sleep

I'm going back to bed

Your heart is pounding

It's too early for this

Get on your knees

I thought you said you knew where you were going? Yeah I lied

Shit you're freezing let's get you warmed up alright

What happened to me

Im not letting you sleep on the floor get up here

Everything I’ve done for you’s the only thing in the world that matters to me

Feel like another round?

You were great last night

Wow you look even better in daylight

My clothes look better on you than they do on me

I had no idea you were into that stuff glad I found out

You should play with my hair more

I don't remember ever having this many hickeys but I don't mind

I don't know your name but you can share it with me so I know what to scream this time

The fun doesn't have to end

I think I can convince you to stay

Are you even listening to me?

Leave right now

What more do you want?

I hate you

Can you just shut the fuck up already

What the hell is wrong with you

I can't do this anymore

Oh my god I don't care

That hurt you son of a bitch

Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight

I can break your nose if I wanted 

Meet me on the bridge in an hour

No one needs to know

No one will ever hurt you again

None of that matters now

Oh my god! You're in love with her/him/them!

Please don't cry

Please don't leave

Please listen to me

Please say something

Promise me you won't let anything happen to him/her/them

Promise me you'll stay

Shit are you bleeding

Shut up and kiss me

Somebodies in love

Sorry I thought I was alone

Stop0 talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound

Tell me a secret

You said you'd always be there for me so how did this happen why weren't you there for me

Did it occur to you that you're hurting me toto

We can be friends instead

I tried to move on but nobody is you

Does it look like I moved on

I don't remember a fight or a reason so what happened why did we make up

Can I at least buy you coffee for old time’s sake?

I can’t take large loneliness anymore

What are you talking about your married

I feel like everyone forgot I exist

I gave you a chance and you used it to stab me in the back

I've been alone for so long

But you promised

I think you'll be happy to know I’m not wearing any underwear

I want you right here right now

Isn't this illegal probably

You're really drunk right now. I don't think you're gonna remember any of this. Non im not drunk at all you're just blurry

I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling or a bad feeling

I love the way your hand fits in mine

You can call me whenever you want. Even if you don't have a reason to

I'm bad  at calling first so I always ending up hoping you will

Wait don't pull away not yet

You look really cute in that sweater

No like it just I can’t believe you’re  actually wearing my clothes

God you always make me blush so damn much

You've been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up

The first second I saw you I couldn't get over how beautiful you were

I wanted to say I love you for the first time without stuttering but that failed

Could you hold my hand?

You can't leave without letting me hug you first

I really love holding you darling

As you're blushing like a rose

Your lips are really warm

I can't get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you're having breakfast with me in my seater

My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes

Wanna like I mean if you're not busy we should get lunch or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time

Wow I didn't think you could make me smile this big

Quit smiling at me I can't stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that

Your hair is so soft

It's too cold come back

No im not letting you go it's too early to get out of bed

Care you can sit in my lap until I’m done working

Shh you're safe I won't let you go

I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified

I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again I promise

Look I know we don't know each other all that well but im still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone

If I could I would kiss away all your scars

I think I might be falling in love with you

Your lips are soft I could kiss them all-day

It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a stronger person

Mmm you're so warm

You're cute when your half asleep like this

Please talk to me about his

I would've had breakfast ready but you were sleeping on my arm and didn't want to wake you up

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[fearfilledvirgil]

Ivity and Anx: part sixteen

Summary: should i even still do chapter summaries? does anyone read them? do they make a difference? should i just put the whole work summary instead just in case someone comes across one of the parts but not the first one so they have an idea what is happening? help??

Warnings: Blood, surgical stitching, subtext abuse, past death mentions (mother and aunt), swearing, needles/fear of needles, 

Word count: 5127

Parings: Slowburn Prinxiety

A/N: *stares at the latter chapters we’ve already written* i dont know why it took me this long to post this chapter. im sorry (taglist under cut)

masterlist

taglist: @rileyfirstname @verymuchanidiot @definentlynotjustanotherlemon @silversmith-91 @kanejandkruge @sander-fander-sides @lovecrazyjennybear @the-incedible-sulk @hexdream18243 @crows-with-hats @monikastec @definenormalifyoucan @i-am-absolute-fandom-trash @applecannibal @cats-with-blogs @bubblycricket @witchcraft--and--wizardry @bunnyartie @quietlypondering @elusivefalsehoods @hghrules @royallyanxious @quietwords-loudthoughts @squishynonbinarytwink @sortablue @illogical-anxieties @savingshae @a-fander-named-skittles @thelowlysatsuma @ughthatsprettygay @im-so-infinitesimal @certifiedtrashxx @karmels-stuff @sanders-sides-trash-blog @musicqueen1239 @the-average-loner @nicological1 @oh-star-how-the-mighty-fall @surleytemple @nervous-collection @asapmy @super-magical-wizard @arandompasserby 

Warmth. That was the first thing that Virgil recognized when he slowly started to wake. It was all around him, more so than usual. It was comfort that had the smell of safe, and of pine. The second thing that registered in Virgil’s head was pain. Pain, and a lot of it. His eyes broke open wide, panic ebbing into him for a moment as he forgot where he was. When he saw the guitar on the floor, the same place as last night, everything came rushing back.

The pain was still annoyingly present. Virgil shifted, but wasn’t able to get far. Roman was curled up next to him, their legs intertwined and his arm thrown over his torso. He always slept better in Logan’s bed, so his brain probably assumed that he was cuddling with Logan. But his unconscious mind was incorrect, and now Virgil was mortified.

Virgil tried to shift again to relive some of the pain of his arm, but Roman shifted as well. He pulled Virgil tighter to him, which made the younger blush more. He was lucky that Roman was there, though, because he was the only thing preventing him from rolling onto his left side, where he usually slept. Virgil bit his lip to keep from wincing as the sleeping boy accidentally bumped where the large cut was. He needed to be quiet and still so that he didn’t wake Roman.

Roman felt the body he was curled up against shift and slowly started to wake up. He was not fully awake yet when he mumbled a soft, “Morning Pat.” Once he opened his eyes a couple moments later, and saw the blood stained gauze, he remembered the events of the previous night. Roman jerked himself into an upright position faster than Virgil thought was possible. “Fuck, Virge. You’re still bleeding,” he went to touch the bloody bandage, only for Virgil to wince away. “Okay, yeah, you need to go to the hospital.”

He quickly pushed himself from the bed, pulling Virgil up with him. Completely ignoring the fact that both of them are in their pjs, Roman dragged Virgil with him to the front door to pull on their shoes. All Roman could think of is that Virgil was lucky he hadn’t bled out yet, and that he needed to be taken to the hospital to be properly patched up before he did. Roman mentally kicked himself for not throwing the boy over his shoulder last night and making him go then and there. I’m such a fool. Roman thought as he pulled on his Adidas. I should’ve known better than to think something that deep could be held together with some bandaids. Patton and Logan would’ve known better. Stupid. That was absolutely stupid.

“Before you say anything, you can kick my ass after you get better. I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you to the hospital. I am not kidding right now. This is really serious, Virgil. You need to be patched up better than I ever could do.” Roman said more down to the ground than to Virgil, considering that he was sitting and still tying his shoes.

“I’m…” Virgil started before trailing off, sitting down next to Roman. “I’m okay. I’ll just have to stitch it myself. I’m okay.” He wrapped his arms around himself, using that position to hold onto the wound. He looked almost afraid, highly sheepish, and so very uncomfortable.

“Why do you keep insisting to not go to the hospital? You clearly need to, Virgil James Sanders!” Roman used Virgil’s full name, trying to get some sense into the younger. He only knew that his middle name was James because he told him as Anxiety.

Virgil froze more than he already was. Roman had used his full name. Which meant that Roman was getting really upset at him because he wasn’t being cooperative. It’s not like Virgil wanted to start a fight, but the memories and fears haunted him. The few times Virgil ever went to a hospital were not pleasant.

Roman felt bad for the way the younger boy tensed up, but he didn’t want to let him win. This was not something that Roman could just ignore. “It’s important that you get this looked at. You could die from this! Do you not understand that?”

“I-I understand that.” Virgil managed to stutter out as he began to shake slightly, clearly on the verge of a panic attack.

Despite his own panic, Roman felt something twist in his stomach. “Hey. Talk to me.”

Virgil shook his head in a refusal to say anything more, not wanting to make Roman angrier than he already was. He knew that if he opened his mouth he’d start panicking, and that was not something he could do on top of everything else right now. He had to focus on his breathing and keeping quiet so he didn’t upset Roman further.

“Virgil, please?” When he still didn’t get an answer from Virgil, he tried a different tactic. “Anxiety,” He said, his voice softer than it had been before. “Look at me a minute,” Once Virgil looked at him, fear very clear in his eyes, Roman continued. “I’m sorry that my worrying is pushing you to panic. That was never, never, my intention. Why don’t we focus our breathing for right now and after we both calm down we can talk about why you’re so scared. Okay?”

Shakingly Virgil nodded. “Oh-Okay.”

“Good. So together. In for four.”

The two fell into the well known rhythm easily. Roman kept counting and doing the breathing while Virgil matched his breaths to Roman’s. After several minutes, Virgil looked less like a terrified kitten. He was still on edge, ready to bolt, but didn’t look like he’d break down anymore.

“Better?” Roman asked, offering a hand out for Virgil to take if he needed it.

Virgil nodded. “Yeah.” He didn’t take Roman’s hand, but he did scoot a little closer to him on the bench.

“That’s, that’s good. Now something about hospitals scares you, really scares you. Would you tell me why? I just want to understand and help you. If it’s something besides,” Roman looked up exasperated as he thought of a bad example. “‘They’re white and that clashes with my aesthetic’ I’ll try and find an alternative. But it… it scares me knowing that you’re still bleeding that badly.”

Virgil looked down for a few minutes before answering. “I’ve only been in a hospital twice. Neither time was a good experience,” Roman waited, expecting there to be more to the story. Virgil breathed deeply before continuing, “My mom was in one before she died. I remember going in one and being so hopeful every time because she had told me that hospitals made people better. And every time I left I remembered being heart broken.”

Something inside Roman cracked at what he had just heard. He just imagined young Virgil walking into a hospital, eyes and heart full of hope that his mother was getting better, only for that to be ripped apart every time he left. Roman would hate going to those places too if something that bad ever happened to him.

“Virge…. I’m sorry.”

He just shrugged. “You didn't know.”

“Let me make a phone call. We have a friend who’s a doctor. I can see if they’ll come here and stitch you up.”

“There’s no way I can afford a doctor who makes house calls.”

“I’ll take care of it,” He noticed Virgil looking at him in a confused way. “Don’t give me that look; it’s not charity. It’s me wanting to help a friend. I may be famous but I still have a soul.”

“Sometimes,” Virgil rolled his eyes, turning his head away from Roman. “Sometimes I forget my only two friends are rich. You throw money around like nobody’s business.”

“Hey!” Roman jokingly put his hand against his chest in mock-hurt. “I don’t throw money around. This is serious and,” he paused to kick off his shoes and stand. “Your dad is probably hiding your money from you.”

“My what?” Virgil got very confused very quickly, standing as well.

“Well… I know that when a parent dies, most if not all of their saved money goes to the kid. And, depending on what their job was, the company may give their remaining salary to the kid too.” Roman shoved his hands in his pajama pockets and began walking back to his room. He had a somber look on his face.

“And you now this for a fact how?” Virgil asked as he followed. Roman shrugged, eyeing Virgil’s arm for a second.

“My aunt died when I was a teenager. My cousin went through it so I know some stuff.” His voice was filled with so many emotions at once that it was hard to differentiate between them. Virgil was taken aback. Roman seemed to have been hit hard by the death too, but was also remembering the happy moments with her.

“I’m-I’m sorry. Were… you two close?” Virgil decided on as they entered the forest themed bedroom. Roman sat on the bed before running his hand through his hair. The younger settled himself on the floor.

“It’s okay…. And yeah, we were. She was a Disney Princess at Disneyland. She was the one who gave me the nickname Princey, actually, and called me her little Princey all the time. I spent a lot of time with her and my cousin Rem when my mom was in rehab.” At one point during his explanation, Roman had laid down on the bed. Since he was sitting on it before he laid back, his legs were still dangling off the end.

“She sounds important to you.” Virgil leaded his head back against the bed, but spoke mostly through his teeth. The pain was getting hard to handle at this point.

“Shit, right. Hand me my phone, Anx.” Roman simultaneously moved his right hand to cover his eyes and his left hand out to Virgil.

The prior looked around for a second before finding the phone on the floor somewhat next to the guitar. He reached over to pick it up, huffing in a bit of pain at the stretch. He grabbed it, retreated back to his prior spot, and deposited it in Roman’s hand.

“Thank you, my dark and stormy knight. I’m going to make a quick call now.” Roman said as he held the phone up in the air above his face. The hand covering it was long gone by now, instead helping holding the phone.

“Right, okay.” Virgil blandly responded as another round of pain stung up and down his arm. The panic he was feeling earlier overrode the pain, but now that was gone, he had free range to feel it. It was just amazing.

“Hey!” Roman said happily into the phone after a few seconds. “I need to call in a little favor, my friend.”

Virgil looked away from the boy on the bed, opting instead to stare at the floor. He didn’t want to intrude anyway on the conversation, even though it soon would be about him. A sinking feeling settled itself in the bottom of his stomach. He hated when people talked about him behind his back, considering they could be saying literally anything. Because of this fear, Virgil kept one ear open.

“Yeah! But my friend got himself into trouble, but he’s got a deathly fear of hospitals. Just think smol-Roman in second grade, ya know?” Roman paused, waiting for a response, before he began laughing lightly. “Yeah yeah. That would be amazing.... Nah it’s not that big but it’s concerning.” Virgil could tell that Roman had a smile on his face due to the tone of his voice.

“What can I do to help slow the bleeding while you get here?” Roman listened for a few minutes. “Alright. Thanks Joan. I owe you big for this.” He waited for his friend’s response. Once he got the answer he gave an over dramatic sigh. “For the twenty fifth zillionth time I can’t get you backstage passes to them. So what’s your next favor?” Virgil tried not to laugh at just how weird Roman can be with his friends.

“I can do that. See you soon.” Roman hung up the phone and looked at Virgil. “It’ll take them about 10 minutes to get here. In the time being they said to give you some pain meds and put some pressure on your wound. So let’s get that taken care of,” He pushed himself back into a sitting position before standing up. Virgil scrambled to follow suit. “Why don’t you wait in the dining room while I grab the meds for you. If you want you can remove the gauze and hold some new stuff against it.”

Roman didn’t wait for Virgil to reply before he walked into the bathroom to pick up some meds. Virgil made his way back into the kitchen and carefully removed the dirty gauze from his arm. He hissed in pain from the tape and the occasional bandage adhesive pulling against his skin. When all of the stuff was cleared from his arm he grabbed some wet paper towels and went to clean the blood from his arm.

“Here, Virgil.” Virgil jumped, not hearing Roman walk up behind him. He spun around and looked at him scared until he registered who it was.

“Don’t sneak up on people!”

“Sorry. I thought you heard me coming down the hall,” He offered a couple pills to Virgil. “Joan said that Advil was the best for right now. I’ll get you a glass of water if you want.”

Virgil took both pills and swallowed them down dry. “Not worth the bother.” He went back to cleaning his injury and putting pressure on it to try and stop it the bleeding. His anxiety was kicking in slightly at the thought of any of his blood getting onto anything fancy or expensive so he kept close to the sink.

Despite wanting to make Virgil feel at home, Roman knew that the younger boy would probably need some time to feel that way. So instead of pressuring him to sit down, Roman prepared some gauze for Joan. The two boys stayed in silence until the doorbell broke it. Virgil jumped again slightly at the sudden noise while the older boy answered the door.

“Hello, Romano.”

“Hey, Joan. Thanks for coming,” He held the door open for the dark haired person. They walked in and for a moment, they looked around. “Virgil’s in the dining room.”

Roman lead Joan to where Virgil was, and upon seeing the new person, they said, “Hello there.”

“Sup?”

“Virgil, this is my friend Joan. They’re an awesome doctor who will help patch you up.”

“Why don’t we sit down? It makes it easier on both of us. I get fucking tired of standing up all day,” Joan took a seat in one of the chairs, pulled on gloves and set up their equipment. After a moment’s hesitation, Virgil sat down next to them. “So let’s take a look at your arm.”

Reluctantly Virgil moved the towel allowing Joan to see. When they made a hiss of pain at the look of the injury, he quickly said, “It’s not as bad as I’ve had.”

“Then you are one fucking unlucky person if this isn’t that bad,” Gently they poked the wound to gauge the deepness of it. Without saying anything else, Joan began to sterilize the wound. Afterwards, they threaded a needle before pulling out a small vial. “So I am going to give you a local anesthetic shot-”

“Nope!” Virgil interrupted Joan, shooting up from the chair from seeing the vial and hearing that there’d be a shot. “I’ll just bleed out. Not gonna do this. Nope.”

“Virgil-” Roman tried to calm his friend down.

“Nope. Sorry to waste your time, Joan, but this is not happening.”

“Virgil, if it’s the shot I don’t have to do it. It’ll just hurt like a son of a bitch.” Joan put away the vial. “If you get too bad, Roman can knock you out.” They teased their friend.

“Hey don’t drag me into this!” He sounded offended.

“But, Roman, you owe me remember?” The twinkle in their eye was clear to Virgil. “I mean this is just such a huge favor.”

“I think I’d rather figure out how to get you backstage tickets to Hamilton. I’d have my ass kicked less.”

Virgil smiled a little sadly at the easy way the two people could tease and laugh. He could do that somewhat with Logan but not a lot of the sarcasm jokes registered. He was so engrossed in the banter between the people in front of him he didn’t really feel the needle as Joan started to sew him up. Vaguely Virgil realized that Joan also started in the middle of his injury.

“Hey. Why do you start in the middle?”

“Because it’s easier to do the stitching in smaller sections. If I start in the middle and work my way out I have a fixed stopping point. Besides that I’m not sure why. It could be that it helps pull the skin closed so some of the other ones don’t hurt as much. I never retained a lot of the reasoning behind why things are done.”

“Oh.” Virgil focuses on breathing through some of the pain.

“Roman could you get me some more damp cloths?” Joan asked.

Roman does so and helped Joan clean off the blood. Virgil hated the helpless feeling he had. One thing he hated more than almost anything was not doing something and having to be babied.

“We’re almost done. Thanks for not slapping me from the pain. I really don’t want another fucking black eye..” Joan commented as they continue to stitch Virgil up.

Virgil’s eyes widen. “You’ve gotten slapped before, too?”

“Slapped, kicked once. Punched. You’d be amazed how people react when they’re in pain. You’re being really calm. Unlike this big fucking baby here.” They jerk their thumb at Roman who looks at them feigning offense. “I think he’d cry for like an hour over a paper cut.”

“I’ll have you know I got a paper cut and only cried for twenty minutes.”

Both Virgil and Joan groan. “Really dude? Spongebob reference?” Virgil couldn’t believe that the famous person in front of him had watched such a dumb show.

“It’s a classic, Charlie Frown.” Roman argued, crossing his arms on faux hurt.

“There’s no point in arguing with Roman over what is and isn’t a classic. You surely know how hard headed he can be.” Joan shared a knowing smile with Virgil as they were finishing up the stitches.

“I think statues are less hard headed.” Virgil agreed, thankful for the banter to distract him from the pain as the needle went in and out of his skin.

“You two are ganging up on me! This isn’t fair.” Roman whined with a pout.

Joan chuckled before they taped some gauze over the stitches. “You have to be careful with these. Don’t let them get wet for at least a couple days. And even after that you shouldn’t soak them. So no swimming or baths. The amount of times I’ve seen stitches fucked up because of some stupid shit like that is un-fucking-believable.” They began to pack up the medical things, not before taking off the blue blood-covered gloves on their hands.

“Fine by me. I am not fond of either option,” Virgil shook the hand Joan extended to him before settling it on the place of his elbow where the gauze wasn’t touching. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m going to give you my business card. Call in about three weeks and I’ll take them out. Or if you find you need some help keeping this big lug in line you can call me sooner.” Joan smiled, eyes darting to the patch up job they just did. They stood, Virgil following suit shortly after.

“I don’t think I’ll be around him enough for that but… thanks.” Virgil managed a small smile again. He took the little orange card they offered that matched the beanie Joan was wearing and placed it in his pocket.

“Just stay in state or someshit so I don’t have to fly across the world to get to you, alright?” Joan asked mostly kidding, but there was an underlying tone of seriousness.

“I’ll be fine.” Virgil supplied before being cut off of any other thought processes by Roman.

“He’s not going anywhere, actually,” Roman proclaimed, which made Virgil’s eyebrow skyrocket into his hairline. What was this dude talking about?? “Well, mostly. You should stay here a little longer so I can help you redress it and… check up on the healing process.” Roman’s hand flew to the back of his neck almost as quick as Virgil’s eyebrow rose. He couldn’t keep eye contact with Virgil so he opted for looking at the ground as his hand rubbed his neck.

“You two really need to sort the shit that’s going on between you?” Joan pointed to the two of them while picking up their medical bag. “The tension can be cut with a fucking knife in here,” They quipped, moving to the door. They turned their head to each of the boys when they said, “But anyways! Call me, get me tickets, and both of you, just… yeah. Bye!” And just like that, they were gone.

“Well, they certainly are a handful.” Virgil let out a huff of a laugh, his smile twitching upward. He opened his mouth to say something else, but his stomach rumbled in hunger. He looked down at it sheepishly, blush rising on his cheeks.

“I take it you’re hungry?” Roman asked as he began to move from the dining room into the kitchen.

“If you show me ingredients and shit, I can make pancakes? From scratch too. Or an omelette, if you prefer.” Virgil asked his own question, trailing behind Roman.

The kitchen, to put it lightly, was fucking huge. The ceiling was high with a crystal chandelier over the side where the room trailed into the living room. The cabinets were a light creme, which complimented the dark grey granite countertops nicely. The floor was a dark red hardwood that somehow managed to pull everything together. Virgil didn’t know much about home decorating or interior design, but this was beautiful.

“You don’t have to cook anything for me-” Roman started to say, only to be cut off by a glare by Virgil.

“I got stitches for you. I may not have gone to the ER but I did, and that is me holding my end of the deal. So. You’ve gotta have breakfast. So ha,” The young man smirked before opening the large stainless steel fridge with his good hand to survey what ingredients he would be working with. Upon seeing eggs, cheese, green bell peppers, ham, and bacon, he settled on omelettes. “Do you like bacon in your omelettes?”

Shell shocked, Roman didn’t know what to say. He fumbled with opening and closing his mouth for a few seconds, prompted on to say something by a gesture of his arm. He settled on closing his mouth and shaking his head no. This was apparently enough confirmation for the determined man with stitches in one arm, as he started to grab what he needed out of the fridge, minus bacon.

Virgil took pride in knowing that he was able to get the boisterous man to be at a loss for words. What surprised him, however, was he felt more pride at this moment then he did when Logan was at a loss. Before he got distracted with that train of thought he grabbed a kitchen knife and looked for a moment for the cutting boards. Without saying a word, Roman grabbed one for him and offered it.

“Thanks,” Virgil took the board and got to cutting up the peppers. “Would you grate some cheese for me?”

“Yeah. Sure,” Roman got out the block of cheese and grabbed the grater before moving to stand next to Virgil. “Just onto a plate or where?”

“A plate’s fine.”

Both men work silently, the only sound being the preparing of the ingredients. Roman  was surprised by how well the two of them seem to be in sync. Despite the annoyance at Virgil remembering what was said last night, he was glad that they seemed to be working through things alright. They could still help each other out of any funks they found themselves in.

Roman was jerked out of his thoughts when he realized that Virgil had said something. “I’m sorry. What?”

The younger boy gave an over dramatic sigh. “I said where do you keep your spatulas?”

“Second drawer to the left.”

Virgil grabbed a silicone one and poured the first bit of egg into the hot pan, working on making Roman’s first. With what could only be a lot of practice Virgil flipped the omelette without breaking in. His heart swelled with pride when he saw the clear astonishment on the other’s face.

“You’re not the only one that’s full of surprises Princey.” He flipped it again before putting some cheese on top.

“Okay now you’re just showing off.”

“Maybe. You’ll never know,” He plated it when it was ready. “There you are. And omelette fit for a Prince.”

“Ha. Ha,” Roman took it and grabbed a fork. His stomach did a flip. He didn’t really want to eat it but he knew he had to keep his side of the deal. Plus he could practically feel the other’s eyes watching him. “It looks good.”

“I’m glad you think so. But you won’t know if it tastes good ‘till you try it.”

“Ya know you suck right?”

“Hey, don’t blame me for what you said. I’m just making you keep your end of the deal mister. I can always go take a bath and soak the stitches,” Virgil thought he heard something along the lines of ‘son of a bitch’ but he wasn’t entirely sure. He put his his food onto the plate and sat next to Roman. “I’m not going to poison you.”

Roman sighed and cut off a small bite. He ate it and forced himself to swallow it. It tasted pretty good actually but it didn’t cut through the bile he could feel in this throat. Taking a deep breath, he ate another bite.

Virgil watched Roman discreetly. Years of walking with a hood over his head had allowed him to move his eyes in a way most people won’t notice. He was glad that Roman’s eating but he can see how much effort it took. As long as he eats half and doesn’t go and purge it out I’ll take it as a win. It’d be easier to work him up into more than forcing him to eat a lot now. His stomach has got to get used to it again.

Unsure why, Virgil found himself saying, “You’re doing great, Creativity.”

Roman looked up in shock at the praise that came from the man’s mouth. Based on the blush going across Virgil’s face it was not something he meant to say out loud. The reinforcement of someone he cared so much about was enough to push the bile taste back some. It was still there but not as strong.

“Thank you, Anxiety.” Roman replied, his voice just above a whisper.

The two continue to eat in silence for several minutes. Roman stopped just before he finished half of his food. While Virgil wished he’d take a couple more bites he could tell on the other’s face that was not going to happen.

“Did you like it?” He sheepishly asked.

“I did. It was good. How did you learn to cook so well?”

“My mother taught me. When she was sick I’d cook for her. I mean they were never five star meals, but she always liked them. Especially my grilled ham and cheese,” Virgil smiled at the memory, though it was a little sad. “I can make it for you later if you want.”

“You know you don’t have to cook for me every meal right?”

“Would you eat otherwise?” The fact the other didn’t answer was an answer enough. “While I’m here I’m going to cook for you. I mean you were the one who said I should stay right?”

“Why do you insist on using my words against me?”

“Because you open your mouth. Want to say anything else to give me some more ammo?”

Roman shook his head and picked up his plate, putting the leftovers into a tupperware container. “You’re clothes should be clean,” He said, attempting to avoid to give Virgil more ammo.

“Thanks, I guess.” Virgil stood to clean the dishes while Roman slipped away to grab his stuff from the dryer. His arms were elbow deep in suds when the other man returned.

“Umm…. the blood wouldn’t come out of your shirt. I got it out of your jeans though. So I grabbed one of my shirts. It’s not black but it’s gray. We can go thrift shopping for you later if you want some darker colors.” Roman rubbed his arm awkwardly. “I put them in the bathroom if you wanna change or anything.”

Instead of being offended at the thought of Roman spending more money on him Virgil decided to tease him. “Thrift shopping? You know what that is?” He laughed at the offended noises the other one made as he put the last item up to dry, strategically moving so that Roman couldn’t see the undersides of his arms. “Thanks. I’m gonna change. Your pants are too baggy for me.” He dried his hands before leaving the kitchen.

He somewhat knew where he was going, but it still took a good minute to find the bathroom that Roman was talking about. Once there, Virgil did his best to change into what Roman had supplied him with. Upon snooping around for a few seconds, Virgil found some deodorant, an unopened toothbrush, and toothpaste. He used both things to his advantage, and stole the hairbrush for a few seconds. He had no clue whose hygiene things he was using, but he tried not to care.

Roman, on the other hand, sat in a chair and thought about the strange person who was in his house. His thoughts, however, were cut off when he heard the doorbell ring throughout the home. Groaning, he stood to go to see who it was. Shock ran through him when he saw the person standing at his door.

Patton.

next part

okay. so. if you’ve read these past few parts, you’ll know that at the end i do a shout out. who to? why, the lovely @lovecrazyjennybear! in the last one i said i’d try again to articulate how amazing jen is, so i shall. let me put this into prospective: by this chapter, it is no longer proper to call her my beta reader. she’s a mother fluffing co-writer by this point! and i couldn’t ask for a better co-writer, because she is so amazing. i love her writing style, and it matches mine pretty closely so its really hard to tell whose writing. she has so many amazing ideas and is just.,, such a great source of encoragement and modivation. when my Artistic side hits rock bottom, her Roman can swoop in and help write, then Artistic can take over when he’s down. its a great system, and that’s not even mentioning when both of us are writing on the doc at the same time. its amazing, shes amazing, and i love her

[nonbinaryyandere-blog]

First Encounters - 2p!America/Allen F. Jones

((This is my first post and it was originally going to involve a drabble for each ally, but... I got carried away with Al. Whoops~ Maybe I’ll do more in the future. It’s not as ‘yandere’ as it could be, but it’s just a first encounter. Gotta let the crazy build up, you know?))

He first ran into s/o late one Halloween night. 

   It had been an eventful night for him, as shown by his shiny black eye and busted lip. Most people he passed thought nothing of his appearance, which was fine. Al didn’t need any attention. All he wanted was to get home, clean himself up, and then hit the sack.    As he walked down the street, he passed a bar bustling with cheerful drunkards all dressed in costumes. One of those drunkards was s/o, their face painted like a cat with a headband sporting simple cat ears. They were totally wasted as they staggered outside and collided with Al. “’Eyyy,” they slurred, “watch wer’ ‘yer goin’.”    Al didn’t want to deal with anyone, let alone a drunk. He was too tired as it was. But as he tried to walk away, s/o suddenly grabbed his arm and held him in place. “What the hell?” He tried to pull his arm away, but stopped when he saw how fixated they were on his face.    S/o stood still for only a few seconds before pointing at his face, their finger nearly poking him in the eye. “You’re hurt!” they exclaimed. “That’s not make-up-” they lowered their finger to his bleeding lip “-neither’s that!”    Al waved their hand away, trying to establish distance to no avail. “It’s none of your business.” When he finally freed his arm from s/o’s grasp, he fixed his jacket and... noticed tears welling in their eyes. Unsure of how to react, he asked, “What the fuck is your problem now?” There was nothing graceful about the waterfalls streaming down their face or the snot running from their nose. When they tried to wipe the fluids away, s/o only created a bigger mess. It didn’t help when they started to sob. “Hey, quit it! Come on, nobody likes a sad drunk!”    “I’m sorry,” they blubbered, still trying to wipe their leaky eyes. “It’s just, I don’t like seeing people get hurt. It makes me so sad.” As if turning a faucet, more tears poured down their reddened cheeks, now causing their face paint to run.    Al was familiar with a handful of drunk archetypes, but s/o was the first of their kind - the overly-caring drunk - to ever show such interest in him. It was flattering, and almost cute. But the constant crying was starting to get on his nerves.    It was more in hopes of smothering their sobs, but he enveloped s/o in a hug. At first, it was awkward, but Al soon found comfort holding them in his arms. It was like fitting two pieces of a puzzle together - just right. Maybe they felt the same, as their blubbering stopped and they turned silent.    “Better?” Al waited for their response, which was only a little nod, before pulling away.    S/o looked confused, perhaps a little shaken, but then their expression turned thoughtful. When they met eyes with Al again, they asked, “Could you just... bend down for a sec?” S/o gestured with their hand, as if tempting him with a secret. When Al finally did as they asked, they grabbed his head on either side and placed a quick, feather-light kiss upon his black eye. After pulling away, there was a goofy grin on their face. “Are you cured now?”    It took a second for Al to gather his bearings before he managed an amused smirk. “Yep, all better.” He closed the distance a bit, placing his hands on their hips to pull them closer. “Thanks, kitten.”    A person wearing a black cloak poked their head out the front door of the bar, scanning left to right until they caught sight of s/o. “S/o! I’ve been looking all over for you!” They marched over and grabbed their hand, pulling them away from Al. They were noticeably more sober than s/o, but still possessed a red tint across their face. “Why are you out here? You’re supposed to stay with the group-! Oh jeez, you look awful. Were you crying?” The friend immediately shot a glare at Al, but s/o was quick to intervene.    “I was helpin’ someone!” All eyes fell on Al the minute s/o gestured towards him. “He was hurt, so I had cured ‘im.”    S/o’s friend sighed. “Sorry, please forgive them. They’re very drunk.” They began leading s/o back towards the bar, but was pulled to a halt as s/o dug their feet into the sidewalk.     “Wait! I forgot somethin’!” They pulled away from their friend and ran back to Al in order to give him a chaste kiss on his lips. It seemed to startle both parties, though Al had no qualms with the action. His only problem was how quickly it ended. S/o then turned back to their friend, seemingly unaware of the blood smeared across their lips. “I almost forgot t’ cure ‘s lip.”    Before Al had a chance to respond, s/o’s friend grabbed them and dragged them away. “That was so gross! What if he’s got some sort of disease?! God, I can’t believe you!” They continued scolding them for their naiveté until the two of them disappeared into the bar.    Now was Al’s chance to finally head home and rest, but he couldn’t move. He didn’t feel like heading home anymore, because there was something much more interesting in the bar than at home.    “This looks like the start of something interesting.”

“I wanna dieee.”    “That’s what you get for drinking so much last night.”    S/o was lying in bed, talking to their friend over the phone while battling a massive headache. The only think worse than the pain were the embarrassing stories s/o’s friend was telling them.    “And then you just disappeared all of a sudden. We were all freaking out ‘cause no one knew where the hell you were, so while everyone was inside looking for you, I went outside and found you getting up close and personal with some stranger on the street.”    S/o groaned. “Are you serious?”    Their friend laughed. “Yeah, and the guy was some badass thug. He looked like he’d just got out of a brawl or something. And you know what?” When s/o didn’t respond, their friend said, “As I was trying to save your ass, you ran back to him and kissed him!”    “I did what?!”    “And then, when you turned around, you had blood all over your lips! It was so gross!”    S/o buried their face into their pillow and screamed. When they finished, they asked, “Okay, now I really wanna die.”    “Don’t worry about it,” assured their friend, “no one else saw you, and I doubt you’ll ever see that guy again. It’s all good.”    There was no curing the weight of embarrassment that would linger in the back of s/o’s mind forever, but the reassurance was nice. “Thanks,” they muttered into the phone. “Okay, I’m gonna see if I can sleep my hangover away.”    “Good luck with that.”     After a quick goodbye, s/o hung up and shifted into a more comfortable position. As they began to close their eyes, their phone buzzed. It sounded like a text.    “Whyyy...” S/o grabbed their phone, discovering a text from an unknown number. As they read the message, their heart sank.    : Morning, kitten. I bet you’ve got a wicked headache this morning. Anyway, I had fun last night. Your kisses worked miracles on my wounds, especially my lip. I might need some more~ I’ll see you around. :    S/o stared at the message, reading it over and over until it finally sunk in. “How the hell did he get my number?!”

[alex-in-wonderlandd]

Honestly i wish i could disappear. I feel so fucking useless and im a complete ass CLOWN for thinking that you fucking care about me still when you dont. At all. And it hurts. Its almost as of overnight you fucking just. Stopped. Why? I dont understand? Just a few days before you got angry with me for something as trivial as waking you up. We were completely fine, if not more than that. It really seemed like it was that “head-over-heels” type of love. And you want to know why i think that? Because you fucking told me it was that. I dont think you remember at all though. The little things you would say to me while you were half asleep in my room.

And you say you left because its whats best for both of us. Thats not true. You dont know whats best for me and my happiness at all. Its not a decision for you to make. You only care about yourself. And i guess that i didnt make you happy enough and i was a tie you had to cut. But im not allowed to be upset over that am I? It seems to you that im not supposed to allow myself to be sad and grieve. But it also seems like i would be marked as a whore andca bitch if im happy and trying to move on right? (Dont worry. Im not though.)

I wanted you to be happy i really did but. Now i think i want you to hurt. Because you shattered me. And you know you did. And now you’re picking up the pieces from the mess youve created of me and stronging them along a frayed red thread thats tied not to your little finger like in the old Japanese folktales. But to your ego.

Honestly fuck you for saying that you love me and that you dont want this break between us to be permanent. Fuck you for saying that you’re probably going to come back. Fuck you for saying that you care about me and that you’re still always going to be here for me. Because you know what. I was drowning that week and when i tried to approach you about it, i was suddenly inconsiderate and it was the last straw for you or whatever and you? Left? Me? During my time of need.

And god i cant even tell you how your selfish timing fucked me over. Not only did you make me drive all the way across town so you could break up with me in person and waste my time, but you really had to do it to me right before my big finals. Before my first shift with my new promotion at work that same night. And roght before summer. So i cant even distract myself with school or friends because everyone is busy with their summer classes, traveling, or work. The 3 friends i do have cant always be there. And i dont even get the opportunity to attempt to make more.

And whats even shittier is the fact that im stupid enough to believe that you’re going to check up on me like ive been checking up on you. I dont know why ive been so fucking nice to you when all youve done to and for me is break my heart, and then get mad at me after we broke up for asking for a little more clarity as to why. You get in my face and tell me that im not listening to you. I am fucking listening but it dosent make any sense?

Seriously how does that make any sense?

“Im breaking up with you because i love you”

What?

No you dont. You obviously dont.

And you shouldn’t have lied about it.

Because all that did was confuse me and hurt me more and here we are a little over two weeks later and i think the wound thats bleeding tonight is deeper and bloodier than the original cut you made when you cut me off.

But it dosent even matter because im not allowed to be hurt over our breakup am i? I bet you the second that i go out with another male friend thats not a safe boy like matthew or will or my two male friends at work or someone you see as a “threat” you’re gonna get all butthurt because im trying to “move on” or whatever right?

Why do you care? Its not like im going to throw my superego out the window and give into some carnal instinct that kicks in and fuck the first guy i see to get over you. Thats not who i am. Thats not what i want. But even if it were, you dont get tobe angry about it because you were the one who left me. You ask if im seeing anyone new the few times weve talked. You claim you’re just trying to “check on me and my life” but quite frankly asking me that one week after we break up at 11:00 at night because i “seem like im doing fine and having fun with my dudes” seems more like an attack.

But did i let it slide? Yeah.

Why did i let it slide?

Because im a fool for still being in love with you and fucking myself up over it.

and you know what else? I dont even know what to do with your things. I have a trillion photos of us. I have your clothes; a hoodie, 3 shirts, your belt, and strangely enough a pair of your boxers. I remember you brought an extra pair to disneyland the first time we went together and you let me wear them after my pants got soaked on splash mountain. I bet you don’t remember that though.

I have the chest you made me only a month ago on our one year. With the glass rose inside of it that you gave to me and insisted that you would love me until it broke. Well there dont seem to be any fractures so i guess that was just a lie too right? And i have the jar you made for me on my birthday with all the nice notes in it.

I packed them up the night before you left because i already knew in my gut what was about to happen, and when i presented them to you after the fact you cried. You told me to hold on to them just in case. And honestly i should have just threw them off an overpass. But i still have them. Because theyre too special to me to destroy because nobody has ever treated me as kindly as you have. (Until now i thought you were an angel. I really did.)

But i also cant stand to look at them without breaking down.

I really dont think youd be able to comprehend what youve done to me. Ive lost about 12 pounds in a 2 week period. Because i just feel absolutely sick to my stomach. And you know what? You made me throw up. In my 11 years of having nausea for what I thought was no reason up until senior year when i was diagnosed with anxiety and gastritis and emetophobia. Ive never actually thrown up unless i was sick with a stomach bug or on an airplane. But you... you made me throw up for the first time out of anxiety and heartbreak and panic. Despite all the drugs ive been doing to make myself feel better like the bottles of antacids and the cases of ginger beer and even prescription medication that was supposed to guarantee I wouldn’t vomit. I did anyway.

My stomach is flatter than it used to be. I remember you told me you would help me get my summer body and i was so excited at first. And you did help me get it. But my heart is broken and id rather have the food baby back and feel disgusted by my appearance and happy than looking fit and feeling...

How am i feeling?

Im a little bit depressed. Im a little relieved. Im nauseated, obviously. Im starving but i cant eat because two bites make me feel full even if im still hungry. Im angry. Im empowered though too because this has been hard for me and im still standing i guess.

But above all im feeling foolish because for some twisted, fucked up reason.

I still love you. And i miss you more and more each day.

Maybe im a masochist. I stayed with the actual spawn of satan for like 2 years. He hurt me. He disrespected me and my body for the longest time. He turned all my friends against me. I was so desperate to get out of that situation, but i didnt. I wanted to so bad. But i was so scared to leave. Maybe i do this to myself subconsciously because id rather be miserable in a relationship than alone.

But we weren’t miserable. We really weren’t.

You dont deserve my love anymore though. You practically cheated on me and i forgave you. You blew up and got angry at me for the smallest an most trivial matters like movie times and jokes in bad taste. I check on you still whenever you post something about wanting to disappear or feelig like crap. I check on you even when you dont post that stuff and ask you how your finals are going and if your family is doing ok.

And that makes me 🤡 of the day because I think that youll check on me too but you wont. Im drowning and you’re standing over me in a life raft just watching.

I just wish i could get closure.

But you know what? Actually i think i get it now.

I love you. But i need to get away from you.

[cutepimook]

GOT7 Newscaster AU

They're the morning show, and have a love-hate relationship with it 

At the beginning of the day, everyone is already dead. Wake up time is 2:00 AM, and Youngjae and Yugyeom always whine about their job choices 

First brodcast is at 4:30, and they barely rest during commercial breaks because of changes in script and touch ups and it's hell 

After the first brodcast, there's another at 5:30, and the last is 6:30, but there's always work afterwards. It's a truly hectic job, but it's Their Job so it's okay- most of the time

Jaebum is the floor director, and is part of the unofficial morning hype crew. He doesn't show up on camera, and the rest of them hate him for it

Jaebum knows everyone's coffee orders by heart and massages his poor babies' shoulders when they're half asleep and getting make-up done. A true dad bro

Jinyoung and Yugyeom are the main newscasters, who inform the general public of the things happenin and so forth

Jinyoung does "Word of the Day" and Yugyeom mimicks him with a funny face to lighten it up because literally No One Cares Bro (but Jinyoung is so into it it's cute) 

They do local news, so it's more light hearted in general- no one wants to watch depressing news when they wake up! And Jinyoung and Yugyeom are good at making people at home happy

Yugyeom always asks people at home what they're eating for breakfast, and playfully scolds viewers "you better be eating! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" and it's the cutest thing ever- even though he never eats breakfast, which his twitter followers never fail to point out 

Because of their relaxed broadcasts, funny interactions with each other, and allaround handsomeness, each person (sans Jaebum, who doesn't even use social media) has a mass following on Instagram and Twitter. Jackson and Bambam being the most popular follower count-wise

Mark is the traffic informer guy and Bambam is the meteorologist and both use the green screen, which is next to the front of the building- which has like giant windows instead of walls

Bambam is always interacting with people passing by and he's become a local internet meme- #weatherbamselfie #NewsBam #IDABBEDWITHTHEWEATHERMAN, etc 

Mark is more chill, and knows that nobody really cares about the traffic. Even so, he's no stranger to the mass following on social media. He "doesn't believe" Bambam when he says it's because of his looks (tho he knows it's the truth)  

There's two dogs on set- Coco and Miho. Miho sometimes interrupts Bambam when he's giving a forecast and Bambam ends up both giving the weather and throwing Miho's toy- only for the puppy to come back to him. You can hear laughing in the background 

There was once a bug on the Live Traffic Cam, and the green screen showed it and Mark SCREAMED and will never live it down, ever 

One time Yugyeom couldn't wake up enough to put in his earpiece and ended up fumbling with it on Live Television while Jinyoung laughed at him 

Another time, Jinyoung accidentally said "food fuck" instead of "food truck" and the rest is history

"At least I'm not into foodplay" 

"Oh I heard about this good food fuck that's stationed down the street" 

Bambam wore a black and white stripped turtle neck one day, and will never wear one ever again. Reason: when Yugyeom and Jinyoung transitioned from regular news to the forecast, Yugyeom announced with such a serious tone "And Now, Weather, with The Hamburglar." And Bambam had to be forcibly reminded by Mark that he couldn't tackle a news anchor while they were Live

Mic check usually includes things along the lines of "I want to kill myself, one, two, but first I'll kill Yugyeom, one, two" "I want to go home, one, two, and get away from this abuse, one, two" 

Jinyoung constantly flirts with the makeup artists and Yugyeom fake barfs 24/7 

Sometimes to mess with Yugyeom, Jinyoung and Youngjae bribe the people in the script office with lunch to make slight changes to Yugyeom's script. The shade of red on Yugyeom's face is one of the greatest things on earth

Jinyoung and Yugyeom are the most busy, having to do promo videos and prerecordings, and while the rest of the boys wait for them to finish up, they take Snapchat videos of them with filters and try to make them laugh. Yugyeom is weak

There's a running joke that when Mark does his report, he keeps his left arm glued to his side and only moves his right arm, but barely. Even though he's more free flowing now, when he first started he was so awkward. At random times, one of them (mainly Jackson) will stiffen his arms and waddle around and EVERYONE LOSES IT except Mark ofc 

To mess with both anchors (because what else is there to do, honestly) Mark and Bambam convince the stylists to have Yugyeom and Jinyoung wear matching suits, and it's always too late for the two to change anything and they're always so??? Flustered about it. It's hilariously adorable

One time Bambam forgot about the green screen and wore green pants to work... nobody said anything because everybody's an asshole, and Bambam didn't realize until he saw himself on screen. He was so embarrassed he flattened himself against the wall, but in the end, told the forecast "like a ninja" and only covered his face when he finished 

Being the floor director, Jaebum is constantly moving around the studio, in and out of rooms, up and down different floor levels, and always on his feet. There's a sense of respect for him, because before, during, and after each broadcast he's telling everyone what's happening and waving his arms around and pointing at cameras and making sure everyone has their scripts and earpieces and the field reporters are where they should be- it's crazy for him. Though this doesn't stop the boys from messing with him lol. He's constantly Stressed(tm)

They make it up to him, though, and always treat him to things after each workday is done

Youngjae and Jackson are field reporters, who go out on the street and to local events like fesivals or parades, and the occasional farmers market. The inside workers envy their freedom, but only slightly because of the things they go through 

Youngjae once had to go interview miniature pony handlers, and while he was talking to the camera, Live, a pony came over and PEED ON HIM. It was traumatic

Jackson once got yelled and lectured at by an old lady because his hair was bleached, and took all with a smile, though he was constantly makin eye contact with the camera 

Youngjae was at the beach interviewing a group of surfers, and a really hot dude came over and slung an arm over his shoulder and he Couldn't Stop Messing Up His Lines Holy Crap 

Both Jackson and Youngjae are afraid of the "Runners"- the people who go behind field reporters and yell things like "OH MY GOD IM ON TV" or run by them shirtless or something. Once one of them accidentally crashed into Jackson and he continued his report from the ground

There was a grand openeing to an amusement park, and both Jackson and Youngjae were sent to go and report together. In the script, they had to ride the "FALLEN ANGEL: DEATH DROP" and Jinyoung and Yugyeom from base phisically tore their earpieces out because the screaming was so loud. Jinyoung still whines about his wounded eardrum

Once when Youngjae was out doing a market brodcast, he didn't hear the cameraman say it was Live and couldn't hear the anchors calling for him, and Twitter EXPLODED because he was singing along to the random street musician and "Well, instead of hearing about fruit stands, I think we all would rather like this." 

Youngjae didn't notice until he saw the cameraman crying 

When Jaebum got sick (from when he "visited his parents" aka overworked himself) the studio was IN CHAOS because the stand-in, Jae, was still under the title "floor director-in-training" and holy

Jaebum watched the morning news from his place and almost cried when Yugyeom messed up and looked up to where He usually stood and frowned when it wasn't Him, because He is on His couch and Couldn't be there for Yugyeom :( he got emo over his favorite bub

After the workday, everyone practically ran to Jaebum's apartment, only stopping to say hi to people who recognized them lol, and demanded he get better!!! But jokingly ofc 

They made him soup and treated him like a king for the rest of the day. Youngjae and Jinyoung stayed after everyone else and because of their care, Jaebum was back on his feet in no time. (He wishes he stayed out for longer tho, he loved getting the attention) 

Mark accidentally swore on Live Television because as he was walking to the other side of the green screen, he tripped and fell with a loud "SHIT" and it got so quiet he thought if he laid there long enough he would disappear 

"There seems to be some trouble over at the traffic center, Yugyeom, how was your morning so far?" 

"It was good, though I could have gone for a longer rest. I'm tired." 

"Me too." 

"..." 

"I think our traffic center is back to normal, what do you think, Mr. Tuan?" 

"I want to die, thank you, and now on 6th street-"