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Queerwolf By Night: Queercoding, Media Literacy, and Werewolf By Night (part 2)
Welcome back to Media Studies And Writing Hacks With Kat! Part 1 is here if you missed it. We discussed queercoding: what it is, how it works, why it exists, and how it plays into the 1930s and 40s horror movies Werewolf By Night likes to reference.
Once again, the thesis I'm arguing here is that there is queercoding in WBN, and that it should be part of the discussion of the special (which I'm calling a movie or film because I think "special presentation" is dumb and this is my essay.) I am NOT arguing that WBN is explicitly queer, or that inferring heterosexuality where queercoding exists is morally wrong or even textually inaccurate.
TL;DR: you can totally still ship Jack and Elsa, I just wanna point at some metaphorical rainbows and say, "Look! Rainbows! Aren't they neat?" I personally think the queercoding adds a layer of richness to the story. I hope you get something out of it, too.
And now, allow me to introduce our starting point, the wolfman of the hour, everyone's beloved blorbo and queercoded icon: Jack Russell.
Look at this adorable protagonist, this absolute chewtoy of a human being.
He's queercoded as fuck. Not as much as Ted, but we will GET to Ted.
Let's begin with Jack's introduction, where he is literally revealed as the narrator speaks the phrase "the monster who finds himself among them". We join Jack as he enters an unknowingly hostile space, a building full of people who would literally mount his head on the wall if they knew who and what he really was. Jack's introduction to this world is a series of Bayeux-style tapestries showing, among other things, the gory slaughter of his kind. We see him react with a mixture of shock, queasiness, and tamped-down anxiety, which marks him as an outsider. It seems unlikely that the other hunters would be grossed out by the sight of a depiction of their literal jobs.
Now, outsider status alone isn't necessarily queercoding, but it often is, especially in monster movies. Jack's reaction is not dissimilar to that of a closeted person entering a homophobic church for some kind of socially expected ritual--and, indeed, Jack has come for a funeral.
Look at that nervous glance as he walks into the room. He's not comfortable here. He knows he doesn't fit in.
This is a good time to mention Jack's outfit and the way it intersects with what we see of hunter culture. From the leather to the weapons to the heads on the wall, the aesthetic of hunter culture in WBN is hypermasculine, almost to the point of parody. The obsession with imagery of violence and death (the paintings on the walls, the corpse animatronic, the skull bowl) and the hostility to anything perceived as feminine is marked.
Wait. Hostility to anything feminine? Yes, I said that.
There are three characters who are played by female actors: Elsa, Verussa, and ... look, the hunters HAVE names, but I'm just gonna call them Scottish Guy, Asian Guy, Black Guy, and David Bowie. So David Bowie is an adrogynous character played by a female actor who acts as our third not-exactly-a-male character, and it's interesting to me that they're taken more seriously by the other hunters than Elsa is. Elsa, by contrast, is treated with contempt by the other hunters--and the contempt is very specifically gendered. Scottish Guy calls her "lassie" when he threatens her, and Asian Guy says, "Where's the lovely lady's medallion?" with a noticeable leer. They don't take her seriously, not even after Verussa announces she's welcome to participate--and they only brighten up when Verussa reminds them that they're allowed to kill Elsa if they can. That's the response to the only unambiguously female hunter.
Now, you may point out that Verussa doesn't get nearly as much shit from the hunters, but Verussa is explicitly presenting herself as the servant (and sexual partner) of a man. She's also not competing with them for the Bloodstone, nor trying to inherit, even though presumably she has at least as good a claim as Elsa does. She's not trying to enter the hypermasculine realm of hunting, but Elsa is in it, and so Elsa is despised and Verussa is tolerated.
And then there's Jack.
Okay, time for Baby's First Queercoding Element: gender nonconformity. In general, feminine male characters and masculine female characters (something explicitly forbidden by the Hays Code, by the way) are coded as queer. A lot of gay male stereotypes are men doing "womanly" things, like cooking and wearing dresses and having sex with men. The same goes for lesbian stereotypes like short haircuts, manual labor, and having sex with women. Now, obviously ACTUAL queer expression is infinitely more complex, but stereotypes don't do infinite complexity.
So. Is Jack feminine?
Well, he's wearing a gentleman's suit, but by the standards of hunter hypermasculinity, yeah, he's pretty girly. For one thing, he's wearing that suit in a room full of people in combat gear. For another, the suit itself is full of fussy details that mark him as a man who cares a great deal about his appearance, another stereotypically feminine trait. The suit is green, a barely acceptable color in menswear, and it has glittery details like the trim on his lapels. The spinal-column tie is metal as fuck, but it's also a silk tie. He's doing the death-and-gore theme, but making it high fashion. He's even wearing makeup. Granted, it's Día de los Muertos makeup, but it's still pigment on his face for aesthetic purposes. He's also the only hunter who acknowledges, in dialogue, that he has non-white, non-USAmerican heritage--"It's to honor my ancestors." He marks himself (literally) as visibly foreign, even though denigrating foreign masculinity is a big part of American hypermasculinity. He also tries to smile at and befriend every hunter who glares at him--another stereotypically feminine trait that leads to his conversation with Scottish Guy.
Speaking of, that conversation is gay as hell. It's practically flirting, especially the part where Scottish Guy compliments Jack's makeup and then tearfully admits that hunting and living all by himself "gets lonely". And Jack makes this amazing face:
Now, this is me inferring again, but I read this face as a combination of "Aww, that's sweet of you" and "Loneliness caused by hypermasculine self-isolation? I literally have no idea what that's like, but it sounds bad, bro." Perhaps with a soupçon of "Get me out of this conversation aaaaaaa."
So the scene rolls on, and Jack continues to be Bad At Toxic Hypermasculinity. When his top kill count is mentioned, he shrugs it off rather than taking a little bow like the others do. He actually chuckles at Ulysses' joke. He seems mildly interested in Elsa rather than hostile, and amused by her snark rather than threatened by it. He shows fear and worry when he learns Ted is in peril and in pain. The guy really wears his heart on his impeccably tailored sleeve. Notably, none of these traits are bad, per se--they're just more likely to be assigned to feminine characters, and they're given to Jack.
It's important to note the impact of perspective here. Jack is our POV character. If there were to be a hunters' version of this story, Jack would be a sneaky, cowardly, vaguely effeminate villain and Elsa a traitor (or possibly a dimwitted victim seduced by Jack's charms). All of Jack's queercoding would make him a GREAT queercoded villain; it's just that here, he's the protagonist, and a deeply sympathetic one at that, so we miss some of his "unmanly" traits.
All right, let's fast-forward to the maze. We see Jack being clueless and awkward about the drawing of lots, we see some sneaking around, and then we see his first hostile encounter with Elsa, and we get this great exchange:
Jack: I suggest we just pass each other by.
Elsa: ... What?!
Jack, visibly pained by the awkwardness: I suggest we just ... pass each other by.
Jack is uncomfortable with violence. He actively avoids it, talking his way out of trouble when he can and running when he can't. Even Elsa points out how strange he is compared to other hunters, specifically because he avoids violence. He doesn't kill or even hurt anyone in his human form. He doesn't even know how his explosive works--to the point where he asks a woman if SHE knows how to work it.
I'm not saying violence is an inherently masculine trait, but the association of masculinity with a capacity for (and comfort with) violence runs deep in Western culture in general and American culture in particular. It's a huge thing in Mexican culture as well, and yet Jack is actively choosing not to participate in it. He's denying a core part of what would otherwise be his traditional gender role. He later tells Elsa that any "hunting" he does is done by "a part of me that is not me"--a part of himself that he doesn't see as himself. In his eyes, violence is not merely scary or distasteful; it's not part of him at all.
(Compare this to all the ass-kicking Elsa does.)
And then we get to Ted. Buckle up, guys.
Technically, our first introduction to Ted is a distant roar and some screaming, but the moment where we meet him is this:
A jumpscare, followed by a cuddle.
Once again, Jack wears his heart on his sleeve, but more importantly, let me draw your attention to the juxtaposition of Ted's scary grab and Jack's excited snuggling. This relationship is introduced as something scary before being revealed as something sweet--and "scary" is a good description of the portrayal of queercoded couples (who are, remember, usually villains) in classic cinema. All the cinematic language around Ted right up until the grab is telling us to be afraid of him--and then our cinnamon roll of a protagonist starts petting him and greeting him and asking if he's okay. Ted is monstrous and inhuman ... right up until we see him receive affection from another man.
We don't get clear details of Jack's relationship with Ted, but we know that it's a big deal to them--after all, Jack is risking his own life to save the big guy. Jack also describes Ted as "family" and, with a fond eyeroll, a "pain in the ass". Jack implies that he no longer has contact with his family of origin, a common experience for many queer people who are shunned for leaving the closet, but Ted slots neatly into the category of found family. Ted is also, notably, the only close relationship Jack is seen to have, just as Jack is the only close connection Ted is seen to have. The two are physically affectionate (again, cuddling) and emotionally vulnerable in their conversations.
And Elsa, the outsider to their relationship, finds the whole thing bizarre, right down to Ted's name.
Speaking of Elsa, let's talk about Jack's behavior in the crypt and the cage.
In the crypt, Jack displays compassion for someone who has largely been hostile to him (he REALLY wants to fix Elsa's leg), absolute delight when he receives the tiniest signal that she might be sympathetic to him ("It's not in your DNA, then?") and remarkable emotional intelligence (see his speech about families). He also, notably, doesn't hit on Elsa or indicate any sexual interest in her.
He also makes this terrific face when he's handed a skull:
Oh, yeah, that's a big, scary hunter there.
Now, the cage. Jack's response to being put in the cage (and stripped of his jacket, interestingly--little bit of dehumanization there, perhaps) is recognition, followed by attempts at reassuring Elsa, followed by panic. He's arguably more upset than Elsa is, and Elsa thinks she's about to be torn to shreds.
At two points in this story, Jack Russell finds himself trapped in a small space with a beautiful woman and more or less immediately freaks out. It's not the most heterosexual pattern. In fact, it's got strong thematic overtones of queer men being forced into straight relationships by their families, their work, or their society. In a culture that entwines sex and violence, the fact that he's delighted to be grabbed by a male swamp monster but begs for death rather than symbolically do a sex with a woman is noteworthy.
"Symbolically do a sex"? Yeah, the only times the film frames Elsa as anything like a sexual object are the transformation sequence, which is a visual callback to classic sexualized scream queens of yore with her literally in Jack's shadow, and the face-touching scene, where Jack straddles her, their faces almost touch, and then he flees and she sits up with her hair mussed in a dreamy, almost post-orgasmic way.
Michael Giacchino doesn't eroticize violence MUCH, but he's fairly classy about it when he does.
"But wait!" I hear you saying. "What about the sniffing scene? Isn't that eroticized? And it's between Jack and Elsa! Checkmate, liberals!"
First of all, how dare you call me a liberal when my preferred political descriptor is "chaotic good". And second of all ... well, you're HALF right. It IS eroticized...but not because of anything Laura Donnelly or Gael Garcia Bernal is directly doing.
Go watch Elsa's body language during the scene. It's awkward as fuck. She's curled in a ball, knees and elbows out, letting Jack pull on her arm and sniff her hair but not really participating. There's no indication that she wants to be doing this, or even knows what "this" is.
Gael is making a little more of an erotic show about it; in fact, the intensity of his sniffing would probably be an indicator of sexual desire--if he weren't CRYING WHILE HE DOES IT. That's why his voice breaks on "Once."
These are both excellent actors, making very intentional choices with their voices and bodies. They're playing the scene as something that COULD be sexy IF THEY WEREN'T BEING FORCED TO DO IT.
Seriously. There's enough fanfic now that we've all read Jack giving Elsa a leisurely, consensual sniff. You can't tell me Gael and Laura couldn't have made that happen. This is not sexy sniffing. This is angst sniffing. It's just angst sniffing between two beautiful, sympathetic characters who genuinely don't want to hurt each other. It could have been acted and shot in a much sexier way, but it wasn't.
It's also worth noting one last category of queercoding that WBN plays with a lot: dehumanization. A lot of those classic movies played their queercoded characters as specifically less than human, visually aligning them with disliked animals like rats or wolves and often making them literally less human as the story progressed. Even after the Hays Code, monstrous and inhuman queers became a staple of horror movies, especially in the 1980s and 90s as the AIDS crisis convinced a lot of conservative America that LGBTQ people were literal plague rats. There were proposals to tattoo HIV-positive people to identify them, to round them up into camps, to shut HIV-positive kids out of schools because those kids were implicitly queer and therefore not deserving of human rights like an education.
WBN, with its werewolf POV, pushes back on this trope in some specific ways. Jack's line about being "still a human" is an obvious one, as well as his explanation of "systems" to keep other people safe. (It was common during the AIDS crisis for queer people to be fired from their jobs if they were outed because they were considered an AIDS risk to their coworkers--even if they were, say, an office worker who didn't have any contact with other people's bodily fluids. There were conspiracy theories about AIDS spreading through shared soda cans. Those paper seat protectors in public bathrooms came about because of fears that AIDS could spread via toilet seats. So imagine a gay man trying to explain that he's not a threat to his officemates, and you'll see the parallels to Jack trying to reassure Elsa.)
Most notable, however, is how Elsa survives the wolf. She's safe because she maintains eye contact (implicitly acknowledging her and Jack's shared humanity--she literally refuses to stop seeing him) and because he remembers her scent (she becomes a part of his world as he becomes part of hers). Elsa is rewarded, both with her life and with her inheritance, for treating Jack and Ted like human beings when the world around her regards them as abominations.
Elsa is an ally. She's ally-coded. She can also be read as a love interest for Jack, but she consistently acts in support of his relationship with Ted as well.
In Part 3, we're going to talk about the crowning moment of queercoding in WBN. That's right--it's time to learn about coffee in the woods, the gay jukebox, and the Friends of Dorothy.
#werewolf by night#werewolf by night meta#queer coding#jack russell#ted sallis#elsa bloodstone#attempts at formal analysis#what am i even doing#i hope someone actually likes this#jfc this is so much longer than i planned#nobody get mad at me please#i am literally just pointing at the thing we all like and saying “look a good bit”#long post#media studies and writing hacks with kat
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so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!
with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#on this installment of things nobody asked but i'm going to talk about anyway#disclaimer that this is mostly a joke please don't get mad at me#(legit no shade to anyone) (speculation is one of the fun things about an ongoing fandom and you never know what'll turn out to be true!)#more seriously i do think there may be some connection that just isn't clear yet#but the more little breadcrumbs we get about what revaan was like the more i think crowley just doesn't act like him#i adore crowley don't get me wrong#(yes he's a dipshit. this is a feature not a bug.)#but like.#not to harp on the scene about lilia's nrc invitation (i am absolutely going to harp on it)#i do not believe that crowley would go through the trash to fish out the pieces and put them back together and save them#just because it was lilia's. just because lilia might want it again someday.#crowley can ✨yasashii✨ all he wants but we know what he's like#and i REALLY do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him. i didn't believe it before and i extra don't believe it now.#then again i do tend to be incredibly off about speculation so! who knows! i will trust the writing for now!#i do 100% believe that meleanor would fall in love with the world's biggest dumbass and then double down super hard. that part tracks.#that said i have decided that ambrose being revaan is actually the funnier option just because it would make crowley SO mad#it wouldn't make sense for him to be mad about it and that would just make him madder
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bg series WIPs <3
#i only have 6 left before i start adding in the people <3 silver will fall asleep in so many places im so STOKED AUGHHH#im putting my whole ass into this like god. i want it printed like an artbook. i love BACKGROUNDS i love VIZDEV i love RENDERING#silver go HONK SHOO as a school tour!!! this will save the world tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ill get to draw everyone again YIPPEEEEEE#i have like 6 or so thatll have other chars too. and i get to design the interior of lilia/silver's house. jumping up and down#im gonna put easter eggs of shit i care abt too. for fun. and for one i get to do ship easter eggs so shoutout to me specifically#the only person i care about pleasing: myself. i win. im making it for ME babey DEAL WITH IT#twst#twisted wonderland#night raven college#???????? there aren't chars but it is twst art. nobody get mad that im using the tags. pinky promise me#suntails
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havent told yall yet but i've watched alnst like 1,5 month ago and now im so insanely brainrotted my heart is black black as it can be and sua is my realest goddess and universe
#alien stage#alnst#alnst sua#alien stage sua#sua#i actually hate the way mizisua and females of alnst get THAT forgotten and ignored by the fandom#like HELLOO THEYRE ALL SO DEEP AND NOBODYS GONNA TALK ABOUT IT? sua is LITERALLY me thats why im mad /hj#I HAVE SO MANY SUA AND MIZISUA PICS IDEAS PLEASE JUST WAIT FOR IT IF I DONT POST IT THAT MEANS I KILLED MYSELF OR STH#scdf art
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hey. yeah. genshin fandom just called. They think it’s stupid & anti feminist to give rhinedottir complexity and nuance. Yeah, no, they thought the character who has been built up since the beginning as clearly not nearly evil to the extent she’s portrayed was gonna be wholly evil and gonna be a/THE huge antagonist. Yeah. They’re also sexualizing her to a horrific degree too. Sorry. Don’t shoot the messenger .
#you can just say if you’ve never read a history book! it’s okay! 💜#I GET SO MAD OVER THIS IM SORRYYYYYY#rhinedottir#crepe rants#nobody set me off. I’ll write another long post#(someone please set me off)#LMGSIOSOSOS
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EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!! PAT SIELOFF IS PREGNANT!!!!!
1. Birthday cake from Sierra and Kelly; 2. Gritty soft serve ice cream cup; 3. Sign for Erik Johnson's 1k celebration; 4. Jersey Devil Christmas tree ornament.
#just got taken very off guard by a big room remix of mozart's lacrimosa and the experience did NOT spark joy#horrible. i keep going back to the playlist it was on and listening to 30 seconds and getting mad all over again#not bc i believe in the sanctity of lacrimosa but bc i don't like it#ko and sierra aren't responding to my messages probably because they are spending quality time with family!!#but EYE do not have quality time with family. and my brain is swiss cheese from too much church#please god let him be a girl dad do not let him have a boy to put into hockey#i mean you can put the girl in hockey but we do NOT need pat sieloff jr (boy) into hockey#pat sieloff continuing proof that every single bone in your body can be broken and you have like negative muscle ligaments#but you can still be so so so so cute and happy with your wife in pictures announcing baby sieloff 🥰🥰#the weather is making me UNWELL. like physically i was not built for this weather i was built for heat not cold#BUT mentally also. please explain to me why i outlined an entire advent liturgy -- all four sundays -- based around hockey#LIKE NOBODY NEEDS A PRAYER OF CONFESSION AROUND HOCKEY#and it fucking WHIPS is the worst part. it was only an outline but if i spent more than 3 hours on it. well someone should a do wellness ch#ck is what should happen. we don't need hockey liturgy no one needs that#the thing is i am so fucking burnt out and just exhausted by all of it (<- what christmas/advent will do to a mfer) but i love#writing liturgy. it's so fun. it's like creative nonfiction#so then i was like well what if i did lent and baseball. which tracks much better yk ending the darkness and the coming light#and then i was like. interesting. what urgent tasks am i avoiding by doing all this. what medication am i not taking#white knuckling it ONE DAY LEFT OF CHURCH NONSENSE AND THEN I CAN ROT IN MY LIVING ROOM FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR#oh my god is it past midnight already i've been working on this post for like two hours and keep getting distracted#if the classical music station played ''mozart's final rave (lacrimosa)'' by oliver heldens at 7am i would certainly get out of bed :/#fresno oilers.txt
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how are people making matty and gabbriette's engagement about taylor swift i'm about to have a fit SHUT UP
#IM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES FOR YOU TO ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP#OH MY FOD#'omg someone check on taylor' NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im gonna scream and cry PLEASE JUST SHUT UP#CAN NOBODY BE HAPPY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET THEM LIVE#LET THEM ENJOY THEIR ENGAGEMENT IM ABOUT TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM.#im gonna yell.#oh my GOD no you dont get how mad i am#pissing me off.#blah blah!#anyway happy gabbrietty day
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curse of ireland's only real known, widespread influence outside of ireland being a youtuber and a musical artist. like babes im so sorry to ruin whatever quirky fairycore bogland or super hype loud fun idea you may or may not have of ireland but. it isnt that im sorry. its literally just a place
edit: i put too many fucking tags on this post and it broke so youre just going to miss out on my immaculate rants. tumblr fucking hates me
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had the thought that hermann dresses like carl from up and then realized newt is ellie core and then i started thinking about how newt would absolutely try to attach balloons to their house to get it to float and then i just decided newt's constantly doing weird little experiments like it's just myth busters in their backyard hes exploding shit back there hes making Doohickeys and Mechanisms u kno the beginning of flubber 1997 where his kitchen is full of inventions that make him breakfast. thats the newmann kitchen. (and sometimes hermann helps code the ai on some of the inventions. couples bonding activities)
hermann walks downstairs and newt's at the dining table cackling evilly over some smoking beakers with big ridiculous goggles on and his hair sticking up at all ends and hermanns like "good afternoon dear" and walks into the living room to sit down and read and a few moments later theres a big POOF and smoke starts billowing out of the kitchen and he calls "everything alright, newton?" and newt's like "A-OK BABE GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!! I JUST INVENTED THE HYPOSPRAY FROM STAR TREK"
#newmann#pr#newt is a mad scientist and a mad inventor to me and nobody can take tht away#hermann enables him he gets excited over stuff too n then tries to pretend hes not. hav u seen pru hermann hes so mad scientist core too#newt shows him shit and his excitement's contagious and then hermann's beaming too. and he suggests stuff like it's collaborative#mad scientist and his husband who assists occasionally#newt: PULL THE LEVERRRR HERMANN#hermann: i will do no such thing until you ask nicely.#newt: ...babe can you pull the lever please.#txt#sss
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I opened up about my body image issues and people called me a horrible person, told me I'm invalidating people with eds and that I'm body shaming people? God what the fuck? Ive got no fucking support system in real life and the Internet just hates me I guess.
#every waking moment of my life for three years was spent making sure other people had a person to vent to#but i can't vent to anyone#well ive got one person who wont even read my fucking text messages so i could say anything but i need someone to know#i need someone to say ill be okay. i need someone to be the person i was.#and nobody does that for me#ive got one person who cant even answer a ask on tumblr. honestly fuck you. i hope youre reading this. i spent so many nights awake making#sure you felt seen and you were okay. i gave up so much of my time to always be there for you. but you cant even respond “haha” to a stupid#joke? i get social interaction is hard. i get it. but this isnt. all you have to fucking do is open an ask. skim it for an idea of the vibe#and type haha or aw im sorry or smthing. its so easy. you know i have crippling anxiety. shit like this brings back trauma. it sends me into#a really bad panic attack. you suck. i hate to say that. cause you dont. you are genuinely a good person but you hate yourself so much that#youre actually trying to be a bad person#nothing you ever do will make me hate you but i sure am mad. me and A spent a few hours talking about how much we were worried about you#he doesn't have tumblr. when he found out you havent been messaging me he thought you killed yourself. for him its complete radio silence#just say something. like one of my posts. you dont have to do much. just do the bare minimum so i know you dont hate me.#cause if you dont hate me right now you really suck. really do. and if you do hate me please communicate that with me so i can fix myself
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looks around awkwardly
I know I loathe valentine's day with every fibre of my being, but,,,
read the tags of the original post for context, but only if you're prepared for a shit ton of awkward embarrassment
#capri rambles#I'm 99% sure this is a weird platonic interest. no I am not proposing. or confessing ''love''. or doing anything stupid like that#I will simply be giving them. a gift. of some sort. as I am only interested in friendship#an appreciation gift perhaps...#it's definitely going to be art. I won't post it publicly right away#I think what I'll do. is make random gift art for other people and post it with them so nobody gets suspicious#yes I am too shy and awkward to let anyone know who it is#mutual I'm pretty sure you'll see this. and you'll Know all this internal turmoil is about you once- I mean- if you get the gift#dearest mutual please know I am a coward and a fool. please don't get mad at me for my shitfucked brain making me feel this way#I'm angry and disappointed with myself already as is. this is so stupid. um anyway#I won't be doing this on the day itself I already have a plan for that and that plan is being bitter about my ex
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Not to be a bitch but the way some of you on here negatively talk about dnd 5e is pretentious as hell
#god knows wizards is a shit company but of people’s issues with 5e is based on being bad at creativity and/or playing with shitty people#and not setting boundaries and expectations#like sorry but I’m built different💅#please nobody get mad at me for this djdjdjdjd
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does schlatt win is my autism’s worst nightmare
#I get that it’s a joke. i GET it. it’s obviously more about banter than the actual debate#but please god stop voting for Schlatt. I also understand that it’s mainly his viewers watching it but it drives me mad#jack manifold should’ve won the first episode. tommy should win at least the hot vs cold debate#if not also the straw debate#this is also spurred by a comment I saw that said the winner is chosen not on the topic but who debated it better and ??#Schlatt is like. known as the person who confuses people#and since it’s comedic he uses his rapid-fire & confrontational comedy to stun opponents#nobody’s gonna win against schlatt. swagger was the closest and schlatt still domineered the conversation#that’s probably the point tbh but it miffed me as a comment#like let people discuss the topics!! they’re fun to talk about in the comments#jschlatt#did schlatt win
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Writing comments isn't easy, no, and it isn't owed either, true. But the people on this post seem to be Christ on the cross, like. Bestie, yeah, "I'm happy getting hits, kudos are already an extra", how little do you think you're worth? Not everyone is happy getting nothing at all out of giving to a fandom- and if the response is no comments at all, the author is gonna think nothing about what they've done is worth remembering or talking about.
Not everyone has to comment, no. And authors don't want to guilt trip people either. But some people write as a way to communicate, and if nobody responds at all, screaming into the void becomes a little tiring.
I'm an artist as well as a writer- if my art gets no comments and only likes, I'm generally okay with it. With writing it's different. With writing it's hating myself because what I've written is meaningless to everyone but me until 3 months later I talk to someone in the fandom and they say they really liked x fic.
And like. Great. That's nice. I'm really happy to hear that. I'm sorry for the months I spent crying over it tho lol. People will write 10k+ words and what they'll get is, at best, the meme where the guy gives a thumbs up and proceeds to ignore the person ejhegdhwhdh
Now, sorry for the incoherent ranting. I'm happy there are people who are satisfied with no comments! Some of us would like to know that even just one person had a single thought about what we spent days writing ^^'
Again, no need to comment on everything. And not everyone needs to always be commenting. But in the same way that comments aren't owed to authors, fanfic isn't owed to you. And it's easy to then complain that your favourite longfic was discontinued when it's too late and the author has already given up on trying to connect with people.
#ranting#shut the fuck up ulri#I'm kinda mad at this#nobody's trying to force comments out of people#people are just saying shit like “comments are what keeps me going please leave one if you liked this fic”#maybe my fic isn't worth commenting on: that's what i will think if i get nothing on any given fic ^^'#it's not “ah these shit readers” it's “if we all thought of each other a little more everyone could be happier”#and like. I'm not pointing at the kids with social anxiety. I'm pointing at those who will tweet about reading a great fic#and will not link it or comment on it#you know?#it's okay to not leave comments#it's also okay for authors to feel sad that they aren't worth your time in the way that you as a reader are worth theirs#fic writing#fic comments
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now that wiener has changed me i can show my true colors to you all. this is the equivalent of me posting my little prince on the internet okay because i genuinely think this is cringe and stupid but i cant help it i have autistic rage and everyday i fight against it. anyways the reason why its so big i like wieners itapan is bc this is how i actually feel about itapan
its okay though because everyday i fight to cure myself of these aids (once i opened my social media app and saw itapan and my day genuinely felt significantly worse. ruined even. i am fighting so hard).
#BECAUSE I FOR REALSIES THINK ITS SO DUMB TO GET ACTUALLY DEADASS MAD AT FICTIONAL SHIPS#WHO THE FUCK CARES#AINT NOBODY CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT SHUT YO DUMBASS UP!!!!!#but my weakness... is itager... because idk im ill abt them its not a joke#ive been this way for like 6 years now#i can handle reading fanfics of germany x other characters bc germany literally never loves them#like all the fics i read of him x other characters is just him being tortured by them and he doesnt even like them#the only way he reciprocates their affections is literally after white room torture and getting turned into a different person#i believe that i think thats true thats the only way he could possibly show romantic affection to someone other than italy#i only can tolerate and sometimes enjoy content of germy/itatard x other people if its onesided and they dont love the other person#bc then im like yeah seems legit cuz theyd only love eachother in all universes#and i feel this way abt basically all of my ships i care abt bc im a monoshipper#but usually i wont give a fuck if i see them with other people im like that sucks lol but not my house not my soup!#BUT ITAGER....... IT MAKES ME CRAZY#IT MAKES ME ACT LIKE A FREAK ! I DONT ENDORSE MY OWN BEHAVIOR#thats why this is my shame............. this is my one true cringe and something i genuinely consider a flaw of mine#one of my few if not only autistic rage inducers............. please accept me for who i am. i am trying to fight this (ngl im losing but#we still try our best bc i want to have no weaknesses)#one of my few weaknesses.....#robooty dick pic
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Oooooh nobody look at me I am feeling particularly mushy rn ooooooh I’m so embarrassed
#nobody look at me#thinking about mario#because of course I am#I rbed those Italian pet names because like. UGH ofc I did and just#THINKING ABOUT HIM CALLING ME ONE I FEEL LIGHTHEADED#idfk#OR. whenever he feels like making me blush. which is always and also very easy to do#i think i hauve covid#like imagine I’m getting on his nerves a bit and he sighs and just says#‘Principessa- please.’#i just fell to my knees#STAND UP.#btw even when he’s mad at me he is soft with me because he’s so in love with me and I’m his everything#my face is red#‘amore- have you eaten today? I’ll make you something if you’re hungry..’#I AM SICK. I NEED HIM SO BAD I NEED HIM SO BAD#i’m clawing at the walls#the duality of man. he can have 2 ACCENTS#cuz he’s got the Brooklyn one in the movie but an Italian one in the games and I dunno which one I like more#they’re both so nice#I mean. it’s the same guy but still#what’s a girl to choose#sighs dreamily#I want him.#Mario#⭐️🍄you’re my superstar#f/o gush#♡.love letters
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