#no. no it does not. because i have a brain that is Bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nadvs · 17 hours

Text

push and pull (part two) (end)

pairing twin!rafe x female reader x twin!zach

summary life felt complicated enough when you started falling for zach. then you meet rafe. he’s the complete opposite of his twin brother, but he captures your attention just the same.

content warnings alcohol use, mental illness, mentions of parental abandonment

» intro post | part one

» masterlist

When Zach wakes up the next morning, he fully understands the term hangxiety.

His temples pound as he stares at his ceiling. At some point last night, he slipped from tipsy into drunk.

Thankfully, he didn’t get so wasted that he’s forgetting anything. But then again, that means every time he made an ass of himself is a memory etched into his brain.

He remembers welcoming his date. Having a decent time with her. Walking her downstairs. Her lips on his cheek when she kissed him goodbye. Feeling like something was missing, and then, that something wasn’t missing anymore when you came downstairs to let him in.

And he remembers looking over at you across the party. Wishing he was next to you. Feeling crappy for thinking about you while he was with another girl. Knowing he was idiot for thinking he could ignore his feelings for you and date someone else.

Talking to you in the elevator. Crap.

He buries his head into his pillow. Why did he blabber to you like that? His brother would kill him if he knew what he said. He probably already wants to kill him for loudly proclaiming how much he loves him in the hallway. Rafe’s not one for any sort of PDA.

Zach picks up his phone to text you: Trauma dumping to you was just a dream I had, right? Please tell me it didn’t actually happen.

You reply minutes later: you mean in the elevator? definitely a dream.

Despite his embarrassment, he smiles at his screen.

He replies: Sorry about that.

You send another text: it’s no problem. i’m guessing you have a pretty bad hangover.

He replies: Everything hurts.

You text back: make sure to hydrate and rest ok?

Zach smiles again. He can’t help but daydream about you coming over, taking care of him, cuddling him.

He’s worried about the consequences of things going wrong if he got into a relationship with you. But God, does he want you.

He replies: Ok :)

When he eventually leaves his bedroom, he sees Rafe lounging on the couch, still in his pajamas. Surprisingly, his brother actually tidied up.

It gives him hope that Rafe really is trying to improve himself. He’s had his fair share of meltdowns and Zach’s had a front row seat to all of them, watching his brother break down into tears, spiralling into his toxic, self-hating thoughts.

Once he calms down, every time, Rafe talks about how he knows he’s not a good person, that he wants to be better. But then, he sticks to his bad habits. He never gets the help he needs, even though Zach encourages him to.

Nonetheless, Zach never saw the bad in Rafe that he’s so adamant is there. At his worst, he can be violent, drunkenly throwing punches at parties, but Zach knows it’s a result of his emotional scars.

“Shit,” Rafe chuckles when he sees Zach. “You’re alive.”

“Barely.” Zach sinks onto the other side of the couch, closing his eyes as he tilts his head back. “You cleaned up for once.”

“Did you just say for once? I’m always cleaning up, asshole,” he mutters, making Zach laugh.

“I hope the neighbors don’t hate us,” Zach says. “The party got kinda loud last night.”

“This guy’s thinking about the neighbors,” Rafe says with a scoff. “The girl you were with looked like she was into you. Bet she would’ve stayed the night.”

“Maybe,” Zach says with a shrug, thinking back to his date.

Then, Rafe says he thinks you might be into him, too, considering he caught you staring. And Zach’s pulse picks up.

He loves and hates hearing that. Because if you really do like him back, it’s exciting, but that makes it even more crushing that he can’t pursue anything.

“Maybe,” Zach echoes.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Rafe laughs, thinking about how good you looked last night. “I’d jump on that if I had the chance.”

“But you don’t have the chance,” Zach murmurs. “If you love me, you won’t jump on any of my friends.”

Zach sits up and looks at his brother.

“By the way, you never said you love me back last night. I’m still waiting.”

“Yeah,” Rafe snorts. “You can keep waiting.”

────୨ৎ────

On Monday morning, you finally get a response from a student you found online who’s selling a used textbook you need.

You’d rather not go by yourself, so you text the group chat: i need to go to a stranger’s house to buy a textbook tonight. is anyone down to tag along so i’m not alone?

To your relief, Zach texts the group a minute later: I got you :)

That evening, you’re knocking on his front door. Instead of Zach, though, Rafe answers.

“Hi,” you say. “Is Zach around? He’s supposed to come with me to pick a textbook up.”

“Haven’t heard him since he got home,” he says, turning to look up the stairs. “I’ll get him.”

A minute later, Rafe comes down, keys jingling in his hand.

“He’s sleeping,” he says. “I can take you. I was about to go for a drive anyway.”

“Cool,” you say. “Thanks.”

You watch him lean over to slip on his sneakers, his frame broad and tall. It’s surprising that Zach, who’s usually reliable, forgot about your plans. And that Rafe, who you’ve come to known as hot and cold, is willing to help you.

He locks the door behind him before you make your way down the hallway together.

“He must be tired after practice,” you say, well aware of the team’s training schedule.

“Yeah, when he’s asleep, he’s out.”

You smirk to yourself, imagining Zach adorably bundled up in his bed. You already know he’s going to apologize profusely once he realizes he accidentally bailed on you.

“It’s only ten minutes away,” you tell Rafe. “I just wanted someone with me since it’s some random guy I don’t know selling it.”

“Zach didn’t offer to just buy a new one for you?” he asks.

“No,” you laugh, entering the elevator. “Why would he?”

Rafe doesn’t get Zach sometimes. It’s insane that he’s not into you, that he sleeps through plans with you, that he doesn’t offer to buy you something that probably only costs a few hundred dollars.

“Want me to?” Rafe asks. You have to laugh.

“It’s okay,” you say. “I already set all this up. Do you always offer to buy girls school supplies?”

He bites his tongue. If Zach wasn’t so adamant about m not being allowed to try to hook up with you, he’d flirt and say yes, he buys all kinds of things for beautiful girls.

“Not always,” he settles for.

The elevator doors open. You enter the parking garage and follow Rafe to his car, settling into the cushioned passenger seat. He starts the engine, then offers the cable hooked up his radio to you.

“Already know you have good taste,” Rafe says. You smile, plugging your phone in.

You’re Zach’s friend, but he figures you can be his friend, too. Because he wants to get to know what he can about you, to flatter you and joke with you and talk to you, even though the night won’t be ending with you in his bed. He has fun with you. He’ll take what he can get.

He backs out of his parking spot, putting his hand against the back of your headrest as he looks through the rear window. You gaze up at his profile, taking in just how handsome he is, how nice his cologne smells.

Rafe doesn’t know the song you put on, but he likes it. He turns forward in his seat, driving out of the garage.

You chat about your days and even though it’s small-talk, it doesn’t feel like it. There’s an ease with Rafe that you can’t really compare to with anyone else.

Still, he’s kind of intimidating, but you naturally want to keep challenging this way he makes you feel, cracking the wall he has up.

When you reach the house at the end of a dark street, Rafe parks in the driveway, turns his key and takes it out of ignition.

“You can wait here,” you offer.

“Nah,” he mumbles. He unbuckles his seatbelt. “I’m not letting you go alone.”

With Rafe standing behind you as you knock on the front door, the feeling of him protecting you is intoxicating, making your heart pound harder.

The door swings open and you greet the man you’ve been messaging. He’s holding the textbook you need and when you offer him four twenties, he looks through the bills and shakes his head.

“We said $100,” he says.

“No,” you reply. “$80. You said $80 was good.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I have the texts to prove it,” you laugh in disbelief.

“Really, man?” Rafe mutters. “Just give her the book.”

“$100,” he repeats.

“Forget it,” Rafe says. He steps forward, roughly taking your money out of his hand and pulling you by the waist. “I’ll just get you a new one.”

“No, wait,” the guy calls. “$80’s fine.”

“Get fucked,” Rafe mutters. You follow him to the car, still mentally catching up to what just happened. “Trying to scam you over twenty dollars. What a joke.”

You settle in the car, feeling Rafe’s warm, big hand curl your fingers open so he can give you your money back.

He’s fuming, beyond pissed off that someone would try to trick you like that. He’s glad you didn’t come by yourself to have to deal with this idiot alone. And he’s not sure how Zach would’ve handled it.

“How much is a new book?” he asks.

“Like, $250,” you tell him.

“I got it covered, alright?” he says. “Give me your phone.”

You comply, still a little jarred but appreciating how quickly he swept in to help you. You watch him enter digits, call himself to get your number, then hang up.

He returns your phone and takes his out, taps on your number, and quickly opens up a bank app.

“You really don’t have to,” you say.

“It’s fine.”

Within a minute, he sends you $250. It’s bizarre how he’s acting like that much money is nothing. Like he’s giving you change he owes you.

Rafe exhales slowly, starting his car again, coming down from the daze. This happens a lot. It’s like he blacks out when he gives in to his impulses.

But what can he do? He has a weak spot for you and he hates the idea of someone doing you wrong, of him not helping you when he’s totally capable of it.

He scratches his forehead. Zach’s words resonate in his head, telling him he needs to cool down and think before he does things. Sometimes his temper flares with no warning.

He’s sure he came off way too intense. He doesn’t know how to apologize for it. Before he can speak, you do.

“Can you come with me every time I have to buy something?” you say lightheartedly. It eases some of the tension in his chest.

“Was that too much?” he says, tone low.

You smile to yourself. You wouldn’t call it too much. He seems like he’s an intense, passionate person. Beneath the surface, Rafe feels more than he lets on.

“You didn’t let a guy con me, then you bought me a $250 book,” you reply with a laugh. “Trust me, you’re good. Thank you.”

Your phone buzzes with a text from Zach as you back out of the driveway. Crap I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember falling asleep. Did you come over?

You reply: all good! i figured you were exhausted. rafe went with me.

“Guess who’s awake,” you say, the smile apparent in your tone. Rafe glances over at your profile as you text back.

He hates this about himself, the envy that pushes him to be sure that Zach is so much better than him. That every girl, if given the chance, would pick his brother over him.

“So, you were going to go for a drive?” you say, tucking your phone away. Because of his kind gestures tonight, you’re pretty sure that he likes hanging out with you. “Want company?”

Rafe taps his hand against the steering wheel. Even if this is just platonic, he doesn’t want you to leave his car.

“If I can pick the music,” he says.

“You said I had good taste.”

“Mine’s better.”

You laugh, and because he held your waist just a few minutes ago, you don’t feel apprehensive to touch him. You nudge his shoulder. He smirks.

An hour goes by like a minute. When Rafe and you part, your cheeks hurt from how much you’ve been smiling and laughing with him.

You talked together nonstop, touching on the most random subjects, finding similarities and differences. You have a deep crush on him. There’s no denying it.

When Rafe watches you step out of his car, he realizes that this isn’t just attraction like he’s used to. He feels like he knows you. And he likes you. It’s exciting and scary.

When Rafe makes it home, Zach is in the kitchen, the whole loft smelling like delicious food.

“You actually remembered how to get home?” Zach teases over the sound of ingredients sizzling in a pan.

“Lost track of time,” Rafe says. He settles on a barstool as Zach stands at the range, trying not to burn dinner.

Zach is glad his back is to his brother, because when Rafe tells him that he was with you that entire time, driving around and talking, his eyebrows furrow in anger and jealousy before he can subdue it.

“But before you lose your shit,” Rafe adds, “it was all friendly, okay?”

“Right,” Zach mumbles. He stares down at the pan, trying to breathe through his prickly frustration. He’s unbelievably mad at himself for falling asleep after practice.

You can do whatever you want, he knows that, but he feels that even though it’s just as a friend, you’re his, not Rafe’s. And his brother getting to spend time with you feels painfully unfair.

────୨ৎ────

The bright stadium lights pool over the deep green soccer field. It’s a cool evening, perfect for a match.

Cold seeps in through your jeans as you sit on the metal bench on the sideline. You have your phone at the ready to film the team as they rush the field for a home game.

You’ve grown to love your job. You found great friends, the TikTok account is earning more traction, and you’ve started to genuinely enjoy coming out to games and cheering on your school’s team.

It’s been almost a week since your night with Rafe. You haven’t seen him or Zach since. You welcome the distance. Liking them both is ridiculously confusing.

Minutes pass. The crowd is getting louder. The team still isn’t out on the field. Your dad runs a tight ship, so it’s weird that they’re late.

You head into the stadium tunnel towards the locker room, curiosity nagging you. A group of players are standing outside the door and you approach Chance.

“What’s going on?” you ask.

“Something’s up with Zach,” Chance tells you. Alarm rushes through you and you step into the locker room without a second thought.

Zach’s sitting on the bench by his locker, hunched over, surrounded by your dad, the team’s medic, and a few other players.

“Is everything okay?” you ask.

Zach looks up at you. His eyes are sunken, his lips parted. And then, he loses consciousness.

When his eyelids flutter open, the brightness of the room is so painful that he has to squint.

“He’s up,” he hears. It’s you. He hasn’t heard your voice in a while. He misses it.

He slowly comes to, realizing he’s in a hospital bed. You’re sitting to his left. The team medic is standing at the end of the bed with a doctor. He’s hooked up to an IV.

“What happened?” he rasps.

“You’re dehydrated,” the medic explains, leaning over to hand a plastic cup of water to Zach. “You’re at Trinity Hospital. You’re okay. Drink.”

Zach weakly picks it up, downing the cool water, his throat feeling raw. He rolls his head to look at you again. He knows it’s wrong, but he’s relieved that you look so concerned for him. That you’re here.

The doctor introduces herself, then explains that Zach was unconscious for so long that she’d prefer to keep him overnight to monitor him.

The news makes everything in him twist with worry and frustration. He just wants to go home. He doesn’t want Rafe to spiral.

“Okay,” he says. “I’m alright, though?”

“I’m not worried,” the doctor replies. “I just want to be sure you’re in good shape before I send you home.”

Within a few minutes, the doctor leaves the room. Then, the medic encourages Zach to drink more fluids, calls the coach to update him, and asks if you want to head back together now that you’re sure Zach’s okay.

You politely decline. You’re too worried to leave him alone so fast. And shortly after, it’s just you two in the room, listening to the beeps of Zach’s pulse.

“Dehydrated?” you say playfully, but still worried. “What the hell, Cameron?”

“I know,” he says with a smile. He regrets going hard at the gym today. He’s sure that’s what did it. “Rookie move.”

“I specifically told you to hydrate like, two days ago.”

Zach’s laugh is boyish. He reaches for your hand and squeezes. You remind yourself it’s likely nothing more than a friendly gesture.

“That was hangover advice,” he says. His thumb strokes over the back of your hand.

“It was life advice, actually.” You inhale slowly. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He lets go of your hand, remembering you can hear his pulse right now and not wanting to risk you witnessing it beat faster.

“It was way more than two days ago, by the way,” he says. He threads his fingers through his hair, suddenly self-conscious of how bad he must look right now. “Where’ve you been?”

You look down at your lap. You’ve been declining all the invitations to hang out in the group chat because the past few days have been so confusing.

Seeing Zach with another girl was painful, and then, you realized just how unimportant you felt to him when he slept through your plans, even though it was by mistake. You need time and space to stop liking him before you can hang out again.

“School’s been kicking my ass,” you lie.

“Do you need help?” he asks. He’d do anything to have you around again.

“Leave it to you to be in a hospital bed asking if you can help,” you mumble. Zach laughs. You try and fail not to fawn over his perfect smile.

“Did I faint in front of everybody?” he says, fixing his hair again.

“Not everybody,” you half-laugh. “But, seriously, everyone was really worried. We all care about you a lot.”

His heart warms. He may be in the hospital, but right now, he’s grateful for having people who care about him. It’s all he ever wanted.

“Thanks for coming with me,” Zach says softly. “And for staying.”

You nod. You were so worried that you told your dad you were going with the paramedics when they arrived, not even considering that you had work to do, that Zach was already taken care of.

“Of course,” you reply. “You said you don’t like being alone, remember? In that dream you had?”

Zach huffs a laugh and looks away, embarrassed as he thinks about that night in the elevator, but still appreciative.

“Did anyone call my brother?” he asks.

“I texted him that I’m with you at the hospital. He hasn’t replied yet.”

Zach nods and thanks you. He tries not to fixate on the fact that you have Rafe’s number. He looks at the clock hanging on the wall to see it’s late in the evening. He figures Rafe’s out with friends or with a girl, not paying attention to his phone.

He wishes he could just talk to him. With every second that passes, he worries more and more about Rafe’s reaction to him being here.

“I should’ve grabbed your phone from the locker room so you could talk to him directly,” you say regretfully. “But I told Chance to get your things for you after the game. Is there anyone else I should contact?”

Admittedly, you’re bracing yourself for him to mention the girl from the other night. Or any girl, really. But he only shakes his head no.

A nurse comes in to remind you that visiting hours are up soon. Zach sits up, visibly on edge, asking her when he can have visitors tomorrow. She tells him 9 a.m.

Knowing he won’t be able to see his brother in person tonight makes him anxious.

After the nurse leaves, Zach frantically asks if he can send a voice-note to Rafe on your phone. You open the conversation and hand your phone to Zach, noticing the nervous way he’s chewing on his lip.

“Hey,” he says into the speaker. “It’s nothing. I passed out from dehydration and I’m at Trinity and they’re keeping me overnight just to be sure I’m good, but the doctor’s not worried.”

His eyes flit to you and he swallows hard.

“This is nothing like the last time, okay? I know your mind’s gonna go there and this is not even close,” he continues. “You can come see me at nine tomorrow. And you better bring me food.”

Zach ends the recording, sends it, and gives you back your phone.

“Thanks,” he breathes. You nod, your eyebrows knitting in confusion and worry.

“Sure,” you say. “Is there anything I can do?”

Zach scratches the back of his neck.

“When he answers, please tell him that you saw for yourself that I’m okay,” he says. “He might be a little freaked out.”

You agree, not wanting to pry, and start to collect your things. There’s no television in the room and you feel bad that Zach’ll be left alone with nothing to entertain him. You want to help.

You tell him you’ll be right back, then rush downstairs at a vending machine you saw when you came in. After, you drop by the gift shop. It’s closed, the flowers and balloons locked up, but you’re still able to pick up a book sitting on a rack.

You leave behind more than enough cash for the book on the counter and go back to Zach’s room.

“Snacks,” you say breathlessly when you enter, dropping the bags of chips and candy and the paperback on the bed, “and a book. Hopefully, this’ll keep you entertained. And don’t tell my dad about the junk food. You know how he is about an athlete’s diet.”

Zach smiles at you, his eyes soft. With everything you’ve done tonight, you could simply be showing what a good friend you are, but what if you feel something for him, too?

The mention of his coach is reminder enough of why he doesn’t pursue this. It could get messy. But maybe he should be more like his brother. Taking risks. Allowing himself to do what he wants to do.

“I should go,” you sigh, looking at the clock. “Feel better, okay? We don’t stand a chance of winning without you.”

He laughs, his eyes lingering on you.

“Thanks,” Zach says. You turn to leave. He stops you with a gentle, “Hey.”

You stop, turning back to look at him. Zach takes you in, how good he feels when you’re around, how there’s still a little bit of worry written into your cute features.

He won’t tell you that he wants to you to be his girlfriend. Not like this, when he’s hooked up to monitors, stuck in a bed. He’ll do it when he’s out of here. He’ll do it when he can hold your face in his hands and tell you how much you mean to him.

“Seriously, thank you,” he tells you. “You’re amazing.” You smile at him again. If only he knew how much his words mean to you.

“You’re welcome,” you say.

You’re pacing through the parking lot when your phone buzzes. It’s Rafe calling you. You answer quickly. He says your name, his voice strained.

“I’m here. Is it too late to see him?”

“Yeah, visiting hours are over. I’m just leaving now,” you say, looking around the dark lot in case you can spot him. “But, honestly, he’s okay.”

“Does he…” Rafe pauses. “I think I see you.”

You approach each other under the starry sky, meeting by a line of parked cars.

His eyes are glossy. He’s been crying. No wonder Zach was so worried. He must have known the effect this would have on his brother. There’s more to this than you realize.

“Hi,” you say softly, ending the call. “It’s okay. He’s acting totally like himself.”

“He doesn’t have his phone?”

“No,” you say. “But I made sure someone’ll pick his stuff up for him.”

“What happened?”

“Before the game tonight, he was in the locker room and he looked really tired,” you explain. “He passed out, but he was already sitting and someone caught him, so he didn’t hit his head or anything. They have him on an IV and drinking lots of fluids.”

“Okay,” he mutters. “Fuck. I was at a bar and I wasn’t checking my phone… I got into a cab as fast as I could.”

“It’s okay,” you console him. “He’s good. He was more worried about you than himself.”

Rafe sighs, hands on his hips as he looks down and paces back and forth, hair hanging over his head. You can hear him panting.

“He was worried about me?”

“Yeah.”

“What’d he say?” Rafe asks the question the same tense way he did the night of the party. He’s so closed off, clearly upset at the thought of you knowing anything he doesn’t want you to know.

“I heard the voice-note he sent you,” you admit, “and he said you might be freaked out, but he didn’t tell me anything else. I didn’t ask. It’s not my business.”

Rafe chews on his lip the same nervous way Zach does. For once, you see a similarity between them.

His breathing gets even shallower. He rests his hands on the rear window of the van parked next to him. His body curls forward. His skin is flushed.

You step a little closer, searching his face in the light of the lamps lining the parking lot. He’s distraught.

“Rafe,” you say quietly.

His stare is on the ground, his chest heaving now. Something bad has been triggered in him.

“Hey,” you say.

“You can go home now,” he mutters breathlessly.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” you say. You take a risk, placing a hand on his back, feeling it rise and fall quickly.

“I think you’re having a panic attack,” you say evenly. “I get that this is scary, but I promise you, everything’s okay. Zach is okay.”

Rafe’s chest is tight. His veins are made of ice. He feels like punching something. He hates this familiar loss of control, this shock of the world crumbling around him with no warning.

Yet while he thought that he’d hate someone touching him like this, that he’d hate being so vulnerable, he actually feels a little better.

You continue to rub his back, sweetly and tenderly. The touches he shares with girls are never like this. They’re always superficial, fuelled by lust. But this feels like real, sincere care.

“You took a cab here?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he rasps.

“Did you talk to the driver?”

“What?”

“Did you?” you say. “What kind of car was it?”

It’s all in an effort to distract him, and while Rafe stammers his way through his answers about the driver and the car and the bar he was at, you notice his breathing start to even out.

Minutes later, his heart isn’t racing as fast. His chest isn’t as tight. He can think clearer.

He’s embarrassed, but relieved you were here to talk him down before he ran into the hospital and demanded to see his brother. He now realizes how bad that could’ve gone.

“I don’t…” he stammers. He doesn’t know how to say that this doesn’t happen all that often, that this is a piece of him he typically buries deep from everyone.

“What?”

“You probably think I’m crazy.” Saying the word out loud hurts more than he expected. It’s what he’s felt all his life, that something isn’t wired right in his brain.

“No. I get it,” you say. You shake your head. “I mean, I don’t know what happened, but… I’m guessing he was in the hospital for something before, right?”

Rafe meets your eyes, straightening.

“I get why you’re freaked out,” you say. “I would be, too. Memories can mess with us.”

The way you just calmed him down, the sympathy in your tone, the alcohol swimming in his system are what push him to actually be honest with someone for once in a long time.

“We almost lost him,” he admits. “A long time ago.”

Your face falls in sorrow, eyes searching his face. He looks down at the ground, too uncomfortable to meet your gaze again.

“I almost lost him,” Rafe mumbles, his voice thin. Because, really, he knows he would’ve felt the loss the hardest. His brother is the most important person in his life. Always has been.

And to lose him, someone so irreplaceable, someone he was with from the moment he was a living thing, would kill him. Zach’s right, even though he’s joking, that Rafe doesn’t tell him he loves him enough.

“I’m so sorry,” you say. “How old were you?”

“Fourteen,” Rafe says.

It was mere months after their mother abandoned them, saying she couldn’t stay with their father anymore, that she did everything she could do as a mom, that she was done.

It left a hole in Rafe that he feels every day. If Zach feels it, he does an incredible job hiding it.

He still doesn’t know what the final straw was. Why fourteen years of her sons’ lives was enough for her. How could a parent decide that they had enough of their kids forever?

She wasn’t the best mom, unpredictable and erratic, but he loved her. There had to be something wrong with her mind for her to act like that. To leave. Something that Rafe is sure skipped Zach and was passed on to him.

“That’s so young,” you say sadly.

“He was really sick for a while.” Rafe’s heart twists thinking about it.

How a freak case of pneumonia had Zach bedridden, his lungs fighting to keep breathing. How mad Rafe was at his brother, as if he did it on purpose. How sure he was that in some twisted way, his mother’s sudden abandonment triggered it.

He still regrets how he acted when Zach was discharged. He couldn’t talk to him for days. He was too angry for scaring him into thinking he was going to lose his best friend, his anchor.

“How long?” you ask.

“Weeks,” Rafe tells you. “And you know Zach. He kept telling everyone he was fine. Even as a kid, he didn’t want people to worry about him.”

“He is like that, isn’t he?” you say with a soft chuckle. Since you met Zach, you quickly learned he dismisses any notion of needing any sort of help. “But I promise, this isn’t one of those cases. I saw for myself. He’s good. I wouldn’t lie about that.”

Rafe nods quickly, finally looking at you.

“You’ll see him tomorrow,” you say with a small smile, sad but touched that he opened up to you like this. “Until then, just try to relax.”

Rafe loves the feeling of your hand on him. He can’t remember the last time he loved someone’s touch. If he ever even did.

He’s keeping his promise to Zach. He won’t hook up with you. Because he wants more than that. He wants to know you and for you to know him. He wants you to stay the night, every night. He wants you to be his.

And he needs to be sure you don’t feel anything for his brother.

“Are you and him…” He swallows hard. “Is there anything there?”

Your forehead crinkles in confusion. Zach had told you that his brother was his best friend. You’re sure he would’ve told him if he felt something for you.

If he has to ask, Zach must not talk about you much at all. You’re nothing but a friend to him. Although you do have feelings for him, you were right to be apprehensive from the start. He doesn’t like you like that.

“No,” you finally say.

Rafe nods. At least there’s no unrequited feelings on either side. He must have been reading into things, imagining you looking at his brother a certain way.

“You wanna grab some food?” Rafe asks impulsively.

You agree. Right now, there’s nothing else you’d rather do.

Rafe’s been on a handful of dates before, but sitting across from you at a quiet late-night diner, sobering up, getting to know you more and more makes him feel like he’s living in a dream.

He’s never felt this way about a girl before. Scared in a good way. Slowly, he opens up little by little, peeling back layers of the wall he’s been hiding behind for years.

He shares what happened with his mom. How Zach was the strong one, while Rafe acted out and made his life hell. You take in every word, seeing just how much guilt and shame and pain he carries around.

You open up, too, sharing things you don’t tell many people. He’s a good listener, and the eyes you thought didn’t have much hope behind them at first aren’t cold at all by the end of the night.

It’s one in the morning when you part ways. Rafe shares a cab with you, making sure you get dropped off first, watching you step through the front door.

Everything in him wants to invite you to his place, but things are going to be different with you. He won’t rush into numbing himself with sex like he always does, because he refuses to be numb or absent or checked out with you in any way.

────୨ৎ────

“What kind of grown man forgets to drink water?”

Zach looks up from his orange juice to see Rafe walking into his hospital room.

He chuckles, asking Rafe not to give him shit for this because you already did. The mention of your name makes Rafe’s heart feel lighter in this tense moment.

Because of how good it felt to be so open with you last night, expressing just how important Zach is to him, remembering everything they’d gone through together, Rafe doesn’t shy away from leaning over to hug his brother, who stiffens in his bed.

“Uh, good morning to you, too?” Zach laughs. “Is this a hug? What the hell? Who are you?”

“I love you, too,” Rafe mumbles, pulling back and holding up a paper bag of breakfast for him. “And I got you your food, princess.”

“You try eating hospital food,” Zach replies, taking the bag, feeling ravenous.

Rafe settles on the chair, remembering his brother at fourteen, picking apart at the food they served him with a look of disgust, yet telling the nurses ‘it’s good, thank you’ when they asked if he was enjoying his meal.

Rafe urged his dad to bring his brother home-cooked food almost every day of his hospital stay. It was one of the little ways he showed up for Zach, taking care of him instead of the other way around for once.

“What’d the doctor say?” Rafe asks. “Do you feel better?”

“She hasn’t come to see me yet, but I feel totally fine.” Zach digs into his breakfast. “How are you?”

Rafe looks down at his lap, sighing before he speaks.

“I freaked out,” Rafe admits. Zach stills. “She told me you said I would and you were right. But, man… she knew exactly what to do.”

“It happened when you were with her?” Zach knows what Rafe’s breakdowns look like. He has full-blown panic attacks. He’s nearly inconsolable. He wonders how jarring that must have been for you.

“Out in the parking lot,” he says. “It was just too much. All that shit came rushing back.”

Rafe shrugs, defeated. Sometimes, he’s able to give into the fact that he can do nothing but surrender to the chaos in his mind. He felt safe doing it in front of you last night. He felt safe every second he was with you.

“Are you okay now?” Zach asks. He notices the hint of a smile in Rafe’s face. A brightness he hasn’t seen in him in a long time.

“Yeah,” Rafe says. “I gotta ask you something, though.”

“What?”

“Does ‘off limits’ mean I can’t date her?”

“Date her?” Zach repeats, in disbelief. “You want to date her? Like, commit to her? You don’t commit to anyone.”

Rafe breathes a chuckle, pursing his lips.

“Well, now, I want to.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

Rafe looks like he got rid of a ten-ton weight that was sitting on his shoulders. He’s relaxed. He’s content. Zach can’t remember the last time he saw him like this.

Zach became hyperaware of other people’s emotions at a young age. When their parents would argue, he saw what it did to Rafe, who would shut down and lash out. Zach would distract his brother in every way he could.

Then their mom left and it became ten times harder to keep Rafe steady. But Zach did it and he never stopped trying. Because helping others, putting their feelings first, really does make Zach happy.

But right now, he feels really far from happy.

He looks down at his food. He had it all planned out. He’d get in his best clothes, find a nice place to take you, give you a whole speech about how he hasn’t stopped thinking about you for days and how happy you make him and how happy he could make you.

“She feels the same way? Did something happen between you?” Zach asks. His chest is a hole. A pit.

“Nothing happened,” Rafe says, scratching the back of his neck.

It was nearly impossible for Rafe not to give into the impulse to hold your hand in the booth you sat at together last night and tell you how pretty you are and how much fun he has with you.

But he really does want to be a better person. He wants to think before he acts. And that means checking in with Zach that he’s okay with this, considering how tense he is about Rafe getting involved with his friends.

“But I think she might like me, too,” Rafe says. “And I made sure she’s not into you. I guess I was just reading into stuff before.”

That’s the moment Zach’s heart breaks. He licks his lips, his stare low. So, you would’ve just rejected him.

“You really like her?” he asks after a moment.

“Yeah,” Rafe says.

“Why?”

“Don’t make me be corny,” he groans.

Zach’s head is pounding. He wants to be mad at Rafe. But he had so many opportunities to tell him that he likes you, and he was too chicken to admit it. And now, his brother is falling for you. And he looks so happy doing it.

“You’re gonna have to be corny,” Zach says. “I need to be sure you’re not just messing around.”

Rafe sighs. It’s always Zach doing this, gushing over a girl, freaking out over if she hasn’t texted him back, getting all nervous before a date. Rafe used to tease him about it. He gets it now, though.

“You suck,” Rafe scoffs, tensing up. It’s hard for him to talk like this, but he forces the words out. “I don’t know. I like who I am when I’m around her. And it’s… when she’s in the room, everything’s better, you know?”

“Yeah,” Zach says. He knows. He feels the exact same way.

“Is that corny enough for you?” Rafe says with a scoff. “Are you cool with this or no?”

Zach chews his food slowly only to buy time before he has to speak again. He’s trying to act unbothered and it’s working, considering how in the clouds Rafe seems.

He has no idea that Zach is falling for you. Because he’s too busy doing it, too.

He meets his brother’s eyes. He takes a deep breath. And, because Rafe’s happiness has always been more important to him than his own, he gives him his blessing.

“Go for it,” Zach says. “And don’t hurt her.”

He’s never felt so bitter. He hates that he hopes you’ll have a change of heart. He hates that he feels like he’d treat you better. He hates all of this. But he stays silent.

────୨ৎ────

You’re having a late breakfast when Zach replies to your text asking to keep you updated.

Doctor cleared me. I’m home and I got my stuff from Chance. Thanks for everything.

His message is cold compared to how he usually texts. But maybe he’s just tired from the hospital stay.

You gaze out your window, thinking about everything that happened last night. Rafe isn’t as different from Zach as you first thought. Behind his hard exterior, he’s sensitive and gentle and so badly wants to be loved.

He confessed to feeling like something was missing in him since he can remember. The look in his eyes when you told him that to you, he seems perfectly whole, is one you won’t forget.

Being with him for hours was a wonderful haze. You didn’t want to part. He made you feel heard. It’s a joy that you’ve been lacking for a long time.

Minutes later, Rafe texts you asking if he can take you out to dinner tonight. You smile at your screen. You love how you don’t have to wonder about if he wants you.

The restaurant he drives you to is lavish and elegant. Rafe is unbelievably handsome across the table over the candlelight, his dark button-up making his eyes look all the more blue. Your stomach is full of butterflies, yet a sense of calm fills you when you’re with him.

You pick up where you left off, conversation flowing without any effort. He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. You’re sure you look at him the same way.

When Rafe pulls the car up to your place, in an effort to keep you from leaving right away, he presses his palm against the back of your hand.

“Did you have a good time?” he asks, tone low, adorably nervous.

“Of course. Did you?”

Rafe chuckles at the question. Good doesn’t begin to cover it.

“You’re…” he begins.

“I’m what?” you laugh.

He squeezes your hand gently, turning it so he can lace his fingers with yours. The contact is warm, his ring hard but smooth against your skin. Your heart pounds in your ears as he stares at you.

“Beautiful,” he says. “In every way.”

His tone is sincere and firm. He says it like it’s a fact.

“And I want to keep doing this,” he says. “Seeing you. If you want to keep seeing me, too.”

“I do,” you say. When he leans forward, his kiss is soft but hungry, making your mind spin.

Zach fakes a headache when Rafe gets home. All he needs to hear is that the date went well. He doesn’t want the details.

────୨ৎ────

You’re wrapped in Rafe’s arms, your back flush against his chest, as music and chatter float through the air around you.

You’re settled on his couch, talking with your friends as the party rages. Rafe’s still getting used to what it means to be a boyfriend, tense and quiet around your friends, but he’d get used to anything if it meant making you happy.

You’ve only been dating a few weeks, but he’s sure if this isn’t love, he’s damn close to it. Aside from his brother, you’re his best friend.

You smile when you feel Rafe’s lips press against the side of your neck. He’s ridiculously affectionate, touching you whenever he can, spoiling you, whispering sweet things to you all the time. He’s completely unguarded.

Zach’s in the kitchen, as far away from you as he physically can be. After the hospital, he hasn’t been himself at all. You can tell he’s trying to be, though, forcing smiles around you.

It makes no sense. He called you amazing that night. But, then, he pulled away. It’s like he’s mad at you for dating his brother, but he refuses to admit it.

You’ve asked him multiple times if things are good between you. He reassured you over and over that they are.

Maybe someone else would believe him, but after you pined for him for so long, you can read when he’s trying to hide that he’s upset. At parties, at casual get-togethers, even at work when you’re making content for the team, he’s absent-minded and disinterested.

And whatever’s wrong, he prefers to hold inside.

Nonetheless, while your feelings for Zach have faded, you genuinely hope he’s happy and that you can be friends with him again one day.

The next morning, you wake up in Rafe’s bed. His arm is around your waist, his breath warm against your back. He’s still snoozing when you slip out of bed to get water.

Zach’s sitting at the kitchen island, staring down at his coffee. It’s almost funny how just over three months ago, you were here for the first time, yearning for Zach to give you a hint that he liked you. Now, you’re falling for Rafe.

“Morning,” you say kindly.

Zach looks up from his coffee. His smile doesn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey.”

You open the fridge, the awful feeling he’s been giving you lately sitting heavy on your heart. He makes you feel unwelcome, which is something you never expected from him.

“Just getting some water,” you say, searching through the shelves. “He’s definitely gonna wake up with a headache.”

Zach tenses. You’re doing for Rafe what he daydreamed you doing for him. Sharing a bed with him, nursing his hangover, touching him and smiling at him and giving him what Zach would die for.

You look so pretty in the morning, your bedhead adorable, your pajamas complimenting your figure. Why won’t his heart just catch up with his mind? He keeps telling himself to get over you.

He notices that you have Rafe’s ring on your finger. He used to imagine you wearing his things. He’d love to see you in his team hoodie. But he never will.

In another world, you’re in this kitchen as his girlfriend, talking about last night’s party, sharing kisses and laughs. But not in this world.

“I never asked you,” you say, your back to him, “how was that book I got you?”

You hope it serves as a reminder for how much you did for him and how much you care about him. It hurts, the way he’s been keeping you at a distance.

Late at night, as your mind drifts away from you when you try to fall asleep, you’ve considered the possibility of Zach being upset because he’s jealous of Rafe and wants to be with you.

But Rafe told you he checked with Zach to make sure your relationship was okay with him and he even said he didn’t feel anything for you. Maybe Zach thinks you’re not good enough for his brother and he’s too nice to actually say it out loud.

“Good,” Zach says.

You grab two water bottles and close the fridge door. One word is all he’s willing to say to you.

You can’t do it again. You can’t ask him for the hundredth time if you did something wrong, just for him to say you didn’t and he’s sorry that he made you feel like you did.

You leave him alone in the kitchen, padding up the stairs. Zach looks down at his coffee again. His eyes are starting to burn with tears.

He wants to remind his brother that they agreed they wouldn’t let people overstay. And you being here for even one night feels like overstaying. He can’t have you and every time he’s reminded of that, it hurts.

He can’t stop thinking about that night in the elevator and wishing that instead of drunkenly rambling about his brother, he rambled about his feelings for you. At least then, everything would have been out in the open long before you really got to know Rafe.

The girl he met through the video messaged him last night, asking if he was up to hang out again. She’s cute and nice. But she’s not you. And it’d be wrong to pursue someone just to numb the pain of not having you.

That’s all he wants. You. And because he was such a coward, he’ll never have you. Maybe at some point, he had a chance. Maybe you would have grown feelings for him if he was honest with you.

But you seem happy. So does Rafe, who actually wants hold you and kiss you in public. He was never like that with any other girl.

Zach realizes that while he was always so sure he coped with everything that life hurled at them better than Rafe, he wasn’t paying attention to how destructive he is to himself. His martyrdom was never a virtue.

He’s too late. He self-sabotaged. He has nobody to blame for his aching loneliness but himself. That’s the most heartbreaking part of this whole thing.

Rafe’s hair is tousled, his smile lazy when you come back to bed.

“Thought you left me,” he murmurs tiredly into your hair, pulling you tight against his warm body. You smile, your cheek pressed against his chest, breathing in his comforting scent.

Rafe’s sure you can feel his pulse on your cheek. He feels like you own every beat of his heart.

“I wouldn’t leave you,” you tell him.

The tension from what happened downstairs leaves your system. You swallow down the tears that threatened to fall when you left the kitchen.

You plant a kiss on Rafe’s chest. You know where you’re wanted. And you’re happiest staying there.

(the end)

if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications 💘

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron and you #rafe cameron and reader #rafe cameron and y/n #zach maclaren and you #zach maclaren and reader #zach maclaren and y/n #zach maclaren x y/n #zach maclaren x you #zach maclaren x reader

156 notes · View notes

kayhi808 · 1 day

Note

ik you probs have so many asks about first crush but you write so well and i love the story.

imagine a kid at school notices Abby never is picked up by her dad so they ask her about it but it makes abby sad and she doesn’t want to go to school anymore. i mean like crying about it. eventually reader and bucky find out why she’s so fussy as of late and then bucky picks her up from school the next day and she has the biggest smile on her face and almost trips running into his arms

ty if you write it and even if you don’t :))))

Thank you so much for this "Ask"! I switched it a little to make Abby get bullied by the kid in her class and she's very upset. Our poor baby.

At daycare today, they are making Father's Day crafts. Abby understands that her Daddy is in heaven and not with her anymore, but she still enjoys doing the crafts and still wants to participate and the teachers whole-heartedly support that.

The little boy sitting beside Abby snatches a blue crayon out of her hand. "Hey! You can'ts do that."

"I need it for my card."

"Buts I needs it too. I not finish," Abby frowns.

Sneering at her, "You don't need it. You don't even have a Daddy."

She gasps & leans away from the boy, "I do has a Daddy!"

"No you don't. He doesn't pick you up."

"You are mean. Just cos he no pick me ups, it not mean I don't has one."

The little girl sitting on the other side of the table chimes in, "He NEVER picks her up. It's only her Mommy."

"My Daddy is in heaven. He cannot picks me up."

The kids laugh, "He ran away to heaven to get away from you. He don't love you."

"He loves me!" Abby stands with her clenched fists propped on her hips, tears tracking down her cheeks. "Don't say that. That's bad."

"Daddies don't leave if they love you," the boy taunts her. Abby starts to sob. "He doesn't love you because you're stupid! And stinky!"

Abby pulls back her fist & punches the little boy in the head. Her aim was off, never having punched anyone before, but her second & third punch lands on target. The other kids start screaming and crying, and the teachers have to break the toddlers apart.

******

You get a call from the daycare asking you to come down & pick Abby up. You leave immediately all the while in a panic. Ms. Grace said Abby attacked a boy. That does not sound like Abby. Something terrible must have happened. Sitting on the Metro, terrible thoughts run through your brain.

You finally get to the daycare and you see Abby sitting by herself at her desk, the rest of the class outside playing. Her eyes are red & puffy and her face is blotchy from crying. "Abigail? Ms. Grace?" Abby looks up at the sound of your voice and starts to cry. It's not they type of crying you're used to. It breaks your heart. Its not a tantrum. Its not her being fussy. "Baby?"

You gather her up in your arms and she starts to settle, sticking her thumb in her mouth. Turning to her teacher, "I'm sorry to have to call you in like this, but we do not condone this type of behavior. No matter what the reason."

"I understand that, but what happened? You said Abigail hit a little boy. She would never do that. This is completely out of character for her. Something happened."

"Comments were made about Abby not having a father. We don't condone bullying either. The boy and his parents have been spoken to as well. We think its best that they both be sent home for the rest of the day. They are welcomed back tomorrow, but for today, it's best that you take her home." Tilting her head to catch Abby's attention, "I hope you feel better & we can start fresh tomorrow, Abby."

"Tank you, Ms Grace" she mumbles around her thumb.

******

Its a quiet walk home. Abby hasn't said a word, just rested her head on your shoulder. You change her out of school clothes & wash her face. All the while your baby is silent which is not like your daughter at all.

you grab some juice and a bowl of grapes & sit her in her booster seat at the table. She quietly eats her snack & you brush her hair off her forehead. "You want to tell me what happened at school?" Abby shakes her head & chews on her grape. "Ms. Grace said you punched a boy. That is very very bad, Abigail. You know that."

Abby puts down the grape she was eating & large tears spill down her cheeks, "Is dat why Daddy leave me? Cos, I'm a bad girl?"

You feel sucker punched to the gut. All the air feels like it left your body. Softly, "What?"

"Justin say..." her lips pucker into a frown and she covers her eyes with her hands & cries. "Daddy don't love me, so he ran away to heaven."

If you could punt that little motherfucker into traffic, you would! You wish Abby punched him harder!

You snatch Abby out of her booster and hug her to you. "That is an absolute lie! That's the biggest lie in the whole world. Your Daddy loved you so much." Her little body wracked with sobs. Ooooh, if you could get you hands on Justin & his parents, you'd annihilate all of them! You rub little circles on her back to calm her down & yourself down as well. You're filled with rage. "You know what? Punching people is never good, but I understand now. Justin said some very mean & hurtful things and you didn't know what to do. We need to work harder to make the right choices when we get upset, ok? But I understand and Mama isn't mad at you."

"I loves you, Mama."

"And I love you, my baby. So so much."

*******

After not responding to a bunch of text & missed calls from Bucky, he shows up at the apartment to check up on you both. You just put Abby down for her nap, when he finds you a crying mess and does his best to console you, but again its hard to calm someone down when you're filled with rage as well.

Abby was happy to see Bucky there when she woke up. She was extra snuggly with the both of you. Instead of a dance party after dinner, the 3 of your curled up together on the couch watching "The Secret Life of Pets." The Kevin Hart bunny always makes Abby giggle.

Bucky offers to watch Abby while you took a shower before bed. Abby sits next to Bucky but curled around his arm. Her favorite spot to be. "You had a rough day today." Bucky rubs small circles on her back copying what you do to Abby to settle her.

Pulling her thumb out of her mouth, "It was no good."

Sighing, "Yeah, rough days are no good."

"Bucky?"

"Yes?"

"You know what Justin say?" sitting up to face him.

"No, what did he say?"

"That my Daddy leave to heaven cos he don't love me & I'm stinky & stupid." Abby's lip quivers & Bucky quickly starts sniffing her & tickling her to make her giggle.

"You don't smell stinky! You smell like flowers."

"Oh! Das cos Mama put pretty spray on me," smiling up at Bucky.

"And you are the smartest girl I know."

"My mama is smart."

"But she's a grown up. You're still the smartest girl I know. And let me tell you something, I don't know your Daddy, but I know for a fact that he loved you so much. You are also the most lovable girl I know, too. He'd never run away from you. Never ever. He would fight tooth & nail to stay with you if he could."

"Yea?" Bucky nods. She thinks about it for a bit. "Tank you." She's silent for a while longer. "What he said," she places her hand on her chest, "hurt me in my heart."

Bucky wraps his arm around Abby pulling her closer, "I know, I'm sorry, baby."

"But you know what?"

Bucky lets out a chuckle, "What?"

Abby looks behind her for her Mama, "I punched-ed him."

Bucky looks at her shocked, "No!"

"I dids. I missed the first time & only hit him in his head." She touches her forehead, "But I hit him 2 more time," holding up 2 fingers, "in his mouth." Bucky doesn't know what to say. He wants to laugh but he knows he shouldn't. He shouldn't cheer her on, but he wants to.

He ends up laughing, "Abigail Rose!" Abby joins in with her cackle. Bucky pulls her close & kisses her forehead, "That's my girl."

******

The next morning, Abby doesn't want to go back to daycare. "Abby, you need to go back. Ms. Grace is hoping to see you, remember?"

"Please Mama, let me stays with yous."

"I'm sorry, baby, no. I have to go to work and you have to go to school." You pick her up and she starts to cry. You make it out to your stoop to find Bucky and Steve all suited up. Bucky who normally wears long sleeves and gloves in public is wearing a black T-shirt, showing off his arm. Steve has his shield strapped to his back "Seriously!?"

"Bucky! Uncle Steve!" She wiggles so you let her down and she runs to them. "What doing?"

"Hey, Abs! Thought we'd walk you to school today."

"And I want to see who this Justin punk is."

"Bucccky." You give him a warning tone.

Bucky picks Abby up and she asks, "Punk? What is punk?"

"Punk. You know, like someone who is no good. Like your Uncle."

She gasps and covers his mouth with her hands, "My Uncle not punk! Don't say that."

"Thank you, Abs!" She smiles at Steve. "Maybe Bucky and I can be put on the list so we can pick you up from daycare sometimes."

"Mama! Uncle Steve wants to be on pick up list. He says so!"

Rolling your your eyes, "Well, if he says so."

"C'mon, Doll. Since her Daddy isn't able to, she got an Avenger and Ex-Hydra Assassin who can."

They get to the playground and all eyes are on them. Two Avengers just walked in. Bucky hands Abby over to Steve. "So, who is this Justin kid?" Bucky is giving his Winter Soldier glare.

"O'er dere by the slide. He had the big forehead." Bucky can't keep his glare in place and ends up laughing, just thinking about his girl punching that kid in the forehead.

"That's enough. Behave or none of you will be added to the list." You walk into the schoolroom followed by the 2 sweetest men who'd do anything for your baby girl.

@waywardhunter95 @wintrsoldrluvr @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @blackbirdwitch22 @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers #abigail rose

186 notes · View notes

snakeredbirdbatkatana · 3 days

Text

It was another competion the entire family all shoving and pushing each other into the car to see more of Damian's art.

Tim is excited for Damian.

He knows what it's like, to stand there and have no one show up. To be there all by yourself for hours the only one to visit your booth being the art teacher.

Ms. Carrington who would ask questions and ignore the tears that pooled in his eyes before helping him pack everything up, sometimes even driving him home because of course neither his parents or Bruce could be bothered to pick him up.

He can't really help the envy that he can feel building in his chest mixing with a good chunk of repressed anger.

A elbow being jabbed into his ribs distracts him.

"Hey what's with the face? Perk up Boy-Loser it's Damian's night."

He turns to Steph the smile that he had been attempting to plaster on falling. It's such a stupid thing it's a nickname so what if it's demeaning, he gets called pretender or replacement by Jason what does it matter.

"Do you ever think it's kinda fucked up that not a single person in this family calls me anything that isn't an insult?" He snaps.

She looks shocked. How fucking dare he have an ounce of self esteem. Someone alert the Media Tim Drake isn't a dormat.

He turns away sliding into the crowd.

There's less then half an hour left before he can leave. Pratically throwing himself down in the empty hallway as far as he can get from this entire night.

"Baby bird and Timmy aren't insults? Or are they I can't seem to keep up with the kids these days."

He turns, of course. You might be able to run from Batman or lie to him, but you can never escape the grasp of Big Brother Nightwing.

"So your admitting that your old?" he joins the banter.

His muscles start to unclench another superpower only Dick Grayson seems to have.

"Never, something you want to talk about?"

Does he? No. Should he? Yah.

"Maybe I just don't want be insulted every day of my life. So weird who doesn't want to be reminded they suck?"

He can hear the whine, he can also hear that everything he just said isn't gonna matter. You don't take whiny little boys seriously. And that's what he is.

"Hmm you know I get called Dickhead or really a lot of just penis related jokes. Always hated them not that it really stops anyone."

He looks finally making eye contact with his big brother. Because he's right. How many times has he heard anyone in the family other than him and Damian call Dick anything nice. Never not once. Maybe Bruce but he can't really picture it.

"Also don't think I didn't notice how annoyed you are with Bruce about this entire night, which I don't blame you for. You know I love Damian kiddo, but yah Bruce is not winning a mug from me or you."

He doesn't really want to acknowledge any of that already exhausted and he will have to apologize to Steph and if he opens the box it will be a car ride from hell home.

"Luckily for you I have a car parked a block up we can escape get ice cream and have a nice sleepover in bludhaven."

He wants to so bad, he wants to throw himself at Dick who knows him so well, who followed him out here, who isn't blinking, the only adult who has ever not somehow fucked him over.

"What about Damian? He will be pissed at me for stealing you or something. He doesn't need another reason to stab me."

He turns to look back at the floor.

"Foolish Drake I will be coming with you Father is being insesently annoying and I much rather talk about art with someone who has a brain cell."

Both him and Dick whip around to see Damian standing there a slight blush on his face hesitation making the corner of mouth twitch. He sees Dick looking on unsure. He doesn't hesitate.

"Thank god I know a great place with that Vegan Cookie Dough you like. What you waiting for Big Bird? Let's go. "

Climbling to his feet he grabs Dick and Damian dragging them to the exit he hears Dick's confused muttering sharing a secret smile with Damian before ignoring it.

The night is finally looking up.

#Tim Dick and Damian are the best trio argue with the wall #Don't picture Damian who saw his favorite people leave and immediately was ready to book it also don't imagine Damian listening #working up the courage to try and go with them #but do imagine the other batfamily members looking very confused when they are all gone #tim drake #dick grayson #batfamily #jason todd #bruce wayne #damian wayne #I used Stephanie because in the comics she calls Tim like a lot of kinda iffy nicknames she is usually joking but I wanted to make a point #batfam #batman #dc

171 notes · View notes

fruitbasketball · 3 days

Note

I feel like you’re one of the only people I can bring this up to who’s not super on one side or the other about CC. They asked her about when Nai got her in the eye which to anyone with a brain was unintentional and she said as so and that it was just a basketball game. Even with that people were in the comments saying she was more mature than Nai and how she was taking the high rode etc. Now I still think it’s at the point where CC needs to speak up because a lot of these fans are vile. I do wonder if there’s sometimes that dilemma of damned if you do damned if you don’t. Do you think now that’s if the offseason she’ll actually say something?

i feel like i want to re-clarify my opinions on cc before i continue on this

if y’all think i’m indifferent towards her, it’s because i avoid talking about her. which really sucks from the standpoint of “i love talking about basketball and she’s played some good ass basketball this season”

but from the standpoint of i am a woc and her fans are sending death threats to some of my favorite players? calling them racial slurs? i do not fuck with her as a person, and i don’t respect her as a public figure. not even a little bit.

and to the people who say that she can’t control the actions of the masses: she wouldn’t fucking know because she hasn’t fucking tried

when the league SHE PLAYS FOR has put out an official statement because it’s gotten that bad and we haven’t gotten one from her - and i’m not talking about some manufactured, off handed comment in a presser - it says a lot. a LOT.

it sucks that i have to avoid talking about her bc 1. she’s been doing some cool shit and 2. i just wish she wasn’t a shitty person! i think it sucks so bad that the energy and support she brings to the league are tainted because her fans are fucking racist.

but to answer your question: i don’t think she’s gonna do shit. she got sm hate for liking a taylor swift post, she’s not boutta come out and tell her fans they can’t be racist. in my opinion, she owes a personal and public apology to dijonai, to at, to her own fucking teammates. but she’s not gonna do any of that.

and if she does, it’s too little, too late.

#wbb #wnba #indiana fever #caitlin clark #iowa wbb #ask

91 notes · View notes

madamechrissy · 17 hours

Text

Fractured Desires

ꕥ Pairings: Satoru Gojo x Reader, past Suguru x reader, in this chap also some Shoko x reader- It's a mess tbh lol

ꕥ Content warnings-MDNI-explicit sexual content, threesomes/ foursomes/ complicated shit, infidelity. Abusive gaslighting Suguru. Yandere Gojo behavior. In this chapter- Rough sex, whipping, paddling, obsessed behavior, stalking, deep throating, female on female oral, use of nipple clamps and pain play, dacryphilia, breeding kink PSYCHO stalker SATORU but he's hot. And reader likes it!? Toxic relationship

ꕥ Word Count this chap- 12.6k

ꕥ Summary- You meet Suguru Geto at your work, he is charming, gorgeous, and has a poly lifestyle. You jump in, and you all share women and have way too much fun. But then it's starting to get serious between you, official even. He can't wait to have you meet his best friend. But... Satoru Gojo hates you. The minute you meet. He gives you no reason, but he's nasty to you, no matter what you try. Suguru finally has enough of Satoru being so mean and brings up the idea - 'let's have you two fuck this frustration out'

Satoru hates you because deep down wants to make you his. He doesn't understand how Suguru could ever want anyone but you. Though it's a bad idea, he agrees to share you with Suguru for a chance at you and... The moment he touches you... Rules are bent and broken, Suguru develops feelings for another girl, and Satoru gets further obsessed with you. Nothing is as it seemed. Will everyone get hurt?

Split btwn Satoru's POV and yours

Chapter 6 ꕥ Masterlist ꕥ Playlist

Chapter 7

The next night

Your POV

The bar is packed that night, you’re going to head out early with Satoru to finally get that date you’ve been dying for. And there Satoru is, sitting there at the bar while you work, with his fancy outfit in the wild sports bar, looking like a million bucks. He is sipping on the sweetest drink you could concoct, watching you intently.

The music is thumping and the lights flashing, creating a chaotic yet energetic atmosphere. You and Choso are bustling around, serving drinks and trying to keep up with the demand. As the time ticks by, there is a tightness in your chest, while you bend over now, breasts on full display in a pretty pink corset top. Satoru licks that lower lip, glaring at you, and you give him a wink.

“Gotta get good tips, Toru.” You whisper, taking his glass and shaking him a new drink, his blue eyes glow even in the dark club.

“Little bitch, you're so getting punished tonight.” He murmurs, and your brows raise, as his words send desire, hot straight to your tummy. You tense as his words wash all over you, your eyes fluttering shut for just a moment.

“Well I have a short shift so that I can leave for the date, Sir.” You whisper now, leaning close, your hands brushing against his as you pour his drink, the clear pink liquid into that little martini glass. He smirks up at you.

“Quit working and move in.”

“Wha-!?”

He chuckles now, and fuck it’s nice, to see the face so normally in pain, or in anger, genuinely smile. He’s so beautiful he makes your damn heart ache, every movement of his azure eyes lights you on fire, like you can physically feel it all. He’s so intensely watching, the entire time, and you have to wonder if he had done this before but…

You really don’t care.

You enjoy his gaze, his jealousy, his possessiveness. The way he watches every movement, like he’s watching a dance. You like him saying to not work anymore, fuck you almost want to, say fuck independence and let this six foot four man fuck your brains out daily. Who wouldn’t? It also didn’t help that just a smirk from those lips has you wet.

“He’s intense, yeah?” Choso murmurs, earning Satoru sticking his tongue out, and Choso does it back, making you giggle.

“He’s super intense.” You say, earning the middle finger now. “Woah!”

“Brats, both of you.” You and Choso laugh then, as you’re filled with this odd joy just for the moment. Satoru and Choso surprised you by getting along, with Satoru being so possessive with you, and hating everyone, you were honestly surprised. And Choso enjoyed him, even though you did omit Satoru’s more concerning behaviors.

He doesn’t need to know everything.

The bar is a whirlwind of chaos, with the thirsty patrons shouting for drinks, the clinking of glasses, and the constant throb of the bass from the speakers. You manage to keep up the facade of a happy, flirty bartender while serving drinks with a shaky hand here and there.

“Shit, she’s here.” You murmur then, and look to the barback, smiling and batting your lashes. “Could you take over for a few?” You ask sweetly, and he blushes, nodding eagerly.

“Of course!” You walk past the bar then, and up to Satoru who pulls you against him roughly, leaving you breathless.

“Stop flirting, brat. Every time you do I’ll smack the fuck out of you.” He grips you right then and there, and you can’t stop biting your lower lip, as you stand between his legs.

“You jealous of little me, Toru?” You whisper, and he scowls, but then she’s finally here, Shoko Ieri.

She smiles sadly at you, and you leave the position between Satoru’s legs to hold out your hands, which she gladly takes, dark eyes taking you in. “I wasn’t sure you’d come!”

“I am so fucking sorry, shit. I swear… he didn’t tell me you had any rules.” She says, and you pull her away, looking at Satoru now.

“Let’s go where it’s quieter, okay? But first, Cho can she have some wine? The best we have.” Choso pours the fanciest you all have, and she takes it gratefully, eyeing him then.

“Fuck, aren’t you hot.” She says, and you see Choso blush a bit, making you giggle as you look between them.

“Isn’t he young for you, cougar?” Satoru teases, and she shoves at him, glaring now.

“Cougar, then what are you, old man?”

“I’m thirty one!”

“I'm thirty, shithead!”

“You’re very pretty.” Choso says softly, and Shoko melts, as he holds out a tattooed hand, decked out in rings. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too, love.” He kisses her hand over the bar, and Shoko’s mouth is left open as he gets back to working. “Why didn’t you just date him!?”

“You bitch.” Satoru grumbles, and she grins.

“What, he’s so sweet! And hot.” She sips her wine and may or may not be checking out Choso’s ass. “You’re a psycho, Satoru.”

“Yeah, yeah, she likes it.” He says, running a hand down your waist, and you can’t stop your little gasp, nor the dilation of your eyes. Shoko looks back and forth between you now, shifting her weight on one leg.

“Oh shit, you’re in love.” Satoru goes wide-eyed then, as do you, looking at her as she’s so calm, humming to herself. “What, you’re not? Knew it that night, just didn’t know the mess that happened.”

“Come on, you two.” You pull them both now, guiding them to where the pool tables were, a quieter area of the bar where people weren’t shouting and singing drunkenly. They both sit down now, and Satoru yanks you on his lap, despite your protests.

“In love.” Shoko quips again, Gojo scowls at her, but she just shrugs, and you’re blushing under the club lights once more.

“He hates me.” You say, and she scoffs at that, as Satoru’s wrapping an arm around your waist, pressing you firmly on his hard lap.

“I do hate her, so much.”

“Mmhmm, well if that’s hate, cut me off some.” You giggle at that, holding her hand now, smiling. “I thought you would hate me after that night. I really didn’t know what was going on. He told me you two were completely open, and you were like fucking Satoru on the side.”

“What! Oh god. No, the first time Satoru and I did anything was with Suguru…” Satoru tenses under you, you can feel his anger, his upset. You stroke a hand gently with your own soft fingers, trying to calm him. “And I respected his rules, though I will say I did kiss Satoru when not with him. But it was like… the way Satoru looked at me…”

“In love you mean.” You grin, and Satoru is flipping her off, sipping his drink now, grip tightening.

“Whatever it is.” You peek down, and his look softens just a bit, that mad look in his insane blue eyes that wrecks your every sense. You brush his hair back for a moment, and his white long lashes flutter shut, his lips relaxing in that firm set of his jaw, and you enjoy just that far too much, just looking at him. “I knew something was different than how Suguru did.”

Shoko studies you two, grabbing a cigarette then looking at you. “Will it bother you?”

“No go ahead.” You say, and she sighs, pulling a lighter out. She flicks with the lighter, then Satoru takes it, shaking it up and pushing it down, igniting a flame for her. She brushes her pretty hair back, leaning forward, taking an inhale then.

“Thanks, buddy.”

“Sure thing, brat.” She rolls her eyes at him and he hands her back the lighter, his hands going back to your hips.

“The way Suguru looked at me, it just… isn’t the same, and then when I noticed how he looked at you um… I was worried. But it wasn’t until Satoru that I really worried, because I could tell he was head over heels, and that I wasn’t that for him.” Shoko looks away then, over at the bar, where Choso is flipping bottles in the air, to the cooes of the crowd.

“I didn’t think he had it that bad for me. I was thrown off too, but then he assured me you two were so open. Now I feel like a whole bitch, I am part of what’s hurt you so bad now.” Shoko says, sighing.

“No, no… it’s on him if you didn’t have that information.” You say, she smiles a bit with her thin, pretty lips.

“I really only played because of you.” You blink then, as she caresses your cheek, leaning forward a bit. “You were so hot, and I was curious about Suguru I guess, all these years.”

“Me?” She laughs, leaning back and taking another hit, dark circles only enhancing her eyes as she looks up and down your body.

“Yeah you, like a little barbie.” You feel Satoru’s chuckle under you, shaking your body gently.

“That’s what she is, isn’t she?” Satoru hums, only further making you warmer with all the attention. “Sexy little barbie.” He nips at your bare shoulder, as Shoko watches with amusement.

“Toru…” You wiggle just a bit, making him suck in a breath, as your thighs shift with desire.

“Of course I was interested, and I must say… she’s elite, isn’t she Satoru?” You’re a mess now, cheeks on fire, red to your damn ears, and Satoru is getting even more insistently hard as you shift more, doing stupid things to your psyche.

“Elite pussy, absolutely. So elite I turned down a blow job.”

“You!?”

“Oh I can’t even imagine fucking anyone again. Too obsessed.”

“Holy fuck, well there you go. Who needs Suguru then.” You giggle a bit, but then grow a little serious.

“That’s not all, he… well he planned all of this, fucking me, to begin with, long before I met him. All because um… you and Toru had sex.” Shoko glares then, slamming down her wine.

“What now? Suguru wouldn’t… would he?” She looks to Satoru, who’s frowning now, just nodding a bit. “Fuck, he’s like that now? I know he’s changed, but… to play you and bring you into this? The fuck, man.”

“And he’s assaulted her.” Satoru casually says, and you stiffen a bit, as Shoko stands.

“Yeah what? He what?”

“More wine, Shoko?” You ask softly, standing, and she nods, caressing your cheek softly.

“Please, angel? I need something stronger for this shit.”

Soon the three of you are talking about everything, and Shoko looks so disgusted as you tell her what Suguru’s done, now she’s taking shots, you all are actually, you split your tips you’ve made with the barback as a thank you. Choso is smiling over at the three of you, and despite everything Suguru has done, he hasn’t broken your spirit, it’s still thriving.

“Satoru sucked in bed.” Shoko says, and he snorts, taking a shot himself now. “What you did.”

“You sucked in bed, so fucking lazy.”

“Worst fuck ever.” She says with a shiver, and you’re awkwardly looking back and forth as they look at you. “Now her…”

“Yes, her…” They both touch your arm on either side, and you look down shyly as they look at each other, then you. “I won’t share her with a guy, and I wouldn’t fuck you again Shoko… yuck…”

“Same, you’re so gross… but…” They’re grinning now, and you look between them wildly.

“What’s in your devious minds you two, I’m not sure I like it.” Shoko laughs, sultry now.

“Well if you don’t touch me at all…” He says, pressing kisses on your neck as he is speaking to Shoko.

“Oh I don’t want to. I’d say don’t touch me but I can tell your hands will be all over her anyway.” She kisses on your neck too, and you’re buzzed and confused. “Maybe I just prep her for you and leave.”

“Prep me!? What-”

“I’m okay watching that. But remember she’s mine.”

“You’re so psycho, Satoru-”

“Hey, I’m here you know!” You wave your hands now, and they just smirk down at you, Satoru all tall and gorgeous, Shoko petite and pretty.

“What would piss Suguru off the most? Me picking you over him.” She whispers then, and you gasp, looking at Satoru.

“But you said no sharing, ever stalker.” He grins at you as you say that, his snowy white hair falls over his brow just so, glinting silver in the lights.

“I’ll give this one exception, it’s a win-win. Watch your pussy get eaten out and Suguru gets fucked? Fucking genius.”

“My pussy… oh.” You’re covering your face with two hands, blushing furiously as they stare at you hungrily now.

“Yeah, sweets, you know one way to test it.” She picks up her phone then, and your heart is pounding as she video chats Suguru. You watch as he pops up on the video then, and she sips her drink, looking positively devious. Satoru’s sliding his hand under your skirt, rubbing over your panties, and you look up at him, wide eyed.

“You like that idea, little slut.” He hums, pressing in, and your eyes flutter shut as you get wetter, against his finger pressing your clit now. You struggle to focus, faintly hearing Suguru’s voice, then Shoko aims the camera towards you, and she kisses your cheek then.

“The fuck? Why are you there?” Suguru asks, and Shoko laughs, throaty and sexy, that mixed with Satoru’s finger sliding under your skirt brazenly in a damn bar is making you tremble. It slips under your panties now, finding you hot and slick, and your hips buck up.

It’s so naughty you can’t stand it, how amazing it feels to have his touch, a secret one in a crowded bar you work at. It’s hard to remember Suguru exists at times, not when Satoru is bending down, whispering in your ear. Not when he’s sliding that finger between your lips, and you’re biting back a moan, his other hand splaying the expanse of your waist, pressing in.

Fuck you’re wet.

“I’m here visiting her, of course. You know, she’s just too yummy, isn’t she, Satoru?” Shoko’s intent is clear, and you can’t even face Suguru right now.

“Shoko, what are you even doing. I’ll come and-”

“Nah, we’re headed out soon. R & R, you know. I could video it for you, Suguru, isn’t that what you forced on her while you were whoring around?”

“You don’t know… I didn’t… Shoko, just me and you talk please. I don’t need them there.”

“Well, then leave her alone and sure, I’ll talk to you. Can you do that, can you leave this girl the fuck alone?”

“I was just upset I… yes, if you’ll talk to me, please.”

“Pathetic.” Satoru murmurs behind you, his finger pressing in now, and you start pulsing around it as it curls up.

“Fine then, keep your word. But I’m totally thinking of eating your ex out tonight, does that upset you, Sugu?” She says with a mock pout, and you fade out the rest of their conversation, because Satoru’s fingers are hitting far too good, and he’s moaning softly, turning your knees weak.

“T-Toru…” You murmur, you know no one can see his hand but you wonder if they can see that pleasure on your face. You grip the arm that’s wrapped around you tightly as Shoko and Suguru go at it.

“So wet for me, aren’t you baby? Pretty little fucking… whore… all for me… say it baby.” He’s pumping in and out as he barely speaks, so quiet it’s like he’s in your damn head, and you try to stop your eyes from rolling back, as your nipples press against your corset, begging for more, and your cunt is soaking his hand fully now.

“For you.” You say softly, and he groans now, sending shivers down your spine as he presses that spongy little spot, right in your tight walls.

“Remember, even if she eats you out, I'm letting her, because you're all mine, yeah? You’re all mine, forever… can’t ever fucking leave.”

“Fuck you’re toxic…” He snorts at that, but you agree, nodding again. “I’ll do anything you want me to.”

“Oh yeah?” You nod again, then Shoko hangs up finally, smiling at the two of you as her eyes rake over your body.

“You two are already playing, I see. Hmm…” She comes in front of you, bending down to kiss you then, and you feel Satoru pumping even harder as she does. “So don't you have a date?”

You struggle to speak, as Satoru is playing you so damn perfectly. “I… y-yeah, we do.”

“I’ve already got a limo for the date, let me take you home, you two can play on the way. I have drinks and everything.” Satoru says softly. “But just once, and remember-”

“Yours. Damn he's psycho.” You giggle at that but then gasp as his fingers press in deeper and Shoko kisses you once more.

“Fuck thats hot. Let's go, now.” Satoru grumbles.

“Lemme say bye to Cho!” Satoru sighs.

“I'll say bye too.” Shoko teases, and Satoru reluctantly pulls his fingers out, sucking on them, making you throb now, thighs shifting as you watch him, elegant fingers in between his lips. Your mouth is open, earning his sharp grin, only for Shoko to drag you to the bar, but you feel Satoru's gaze burn a damn hole in your back.

Soon you’re in Satoru’s limo, which was far too big and luxurious, the only time you’d been in one is prom, and he’s lounging right beside you, pushing champagne into your mouth. You sip it eagerly, as he watches you, blue eyes glowing even in the dark of the limo, lit up with a rope of LEDs, as Shoko preps to take another shot of tequila, looking at you then.

“Satoru, can I take a shot off her tits?” She asks, and he chuckles, running his hands down your shoulders.

“Please do. I should take one too.” He murmurs, and you take the shot now, putting it between your breasts, making Satoru moan as his lashes lower, long fingers running down your breasts where they’re full and high with your corset. “Fuck you’re sexy, so slutty too bet you’ve done this.”

“Of course I have, you mad, Toru?” You push him playfully, making him grip a wrist, as he licks it, making you shiver. Shoko pours a little salt on your wrist, then takes one of the limes off the plates there.

“Watching you two is like porn, jesus. Open this pretty mouth, sweets.” She says, and you do so, taking the rind of the lime in your mouth now, and Satoru licks the salt of your wrist now, before burying his face against your breasts, sucking the shot down his throat.

You watch that adams apple bob, so fucking sexy, just a drip of tequila running down his throat now, and he then takes the lime in his teeth, the juices dripping down your chin. You’re so eager for him you can’t stand it, it’s like every movement your psycho… maybe boyfriend!?... takes is like sex itself. He gently takes the lime from your mouth now, lapping his tongue along your jawline.

You moan softly, as he licks all the juice off, until he gets to your mouth, and you taste the bite of that agave on his tongue, you greedily kiss him back, meeting his tongue stroke for stroke. He’s got his big hand on your cheek, sliding back to your hair and pulling, moaning softly as he does.

“Y’know, I tasted her first, yeah?” Shoko says, and he turns and pulls away, lips smacking as he does, glaring at her.

“Shoko!” You say, and she just chuckles behind her hand.

“You’re such a bitch. I bet I eat pussy so much better.” He says, and she rolls her eyes, coming to you and licking your wrist now.

“Bet I do. You always had to be perfect at everything, little shit.” She salts your wrist and he scoffs, rolling his blue eyes. Something about their friendship seems so natural and real, they just react differently than Suguru had with her, it was like they were truly friends despite perhaps a mistake in the past.

“How’d you all have sex? No offense, I can’t see it.” You said then, and Shoko grimaces, as Satoru shivers in disgust.

“Oh god we were wasted, and I had a bad break up. We were like nineteen, then, just so young. I barely remember more than it sucked.” She says, and Satoru snorts as he sits next to you, brushing your hair back behind your ears, placing a shot glass back between your breasts now.

“I don’t remember much except the next morning we were so disgusted, we said we’d never bring it up. It was like two seconds in before we both thought, the fuck are we doing.” Satoru says.

“Oh… I noticed that night how you all seemed just like friends fully. Whereas Suguru…”

“Fuck Suguru. That’s what I’ll take the shot to.” Shoko says, and you and Satoru grin.

“Cheers to that. Also I’m putting this on Insta, let’s make him suffer some more, yeah?” Satoru says, filming on the phone then, and Shoko grins, then she is licking your wrist, before taking the shot from your breasts, gulping it down her delicate throat, then Satoru takes the glass as she bites the fresh slice of lime.

When she takes it away she’s kissing you, and Satoru cuts off the video, as he comes to pull on your hair, pricking pain tears in your eyes, and you gasp as Shoko teasingly swirls her tongue in your mouth. Satoru yanks you then, slamming his lips upon your own, overtaking your already addled senses, as the alcohol warms your tummy and desire hits it.

When he pulls back, you remember the time with Suguru, and expect them to kiss, but they’re just hungrily staring at you. “Do you all not wanna kiss or anything?” You ask curiously, they both look disgusted then.

“Don’t make us.” Shoko says, and you laugh as Satoru rolls his eyes again, running a fingertip down your chin.

“I only want you, evil little brat that you are.” He says huskily, kissing you again now, spreading your thighs. “But I do want to watch you, watch that pretty face cum, feel you…”

“Fuck.” You whine out now, and Satoru is behind you, you’re on his lap as Shoko is between your thighs, shoving up your skirt now. Satoru has your chin tilted as he leans forward, so tall and lanky, to watch your face now. “Satoru…”

“Remember you’re mine.” He says, and you nod, as you then turn to look down at Shoko, brushing her silky hair back, as she looks up at you. She licks her lips, and you can feel the heat building between your thighs.

"You're so beautiful," she says, her voice a low purr.

You can feel Satoru's hands sliding down your hips, before they hook in your panties, shoving them down your legs, as Shoko finishes taking them off, gliding them down your ankles. You feel Satoru’s breath against your cheek, as his hardness presses against your ass, and Shoko’s sweet breath tickles your thigh.

“You are so beautiful, so beautiful it fucking kills me. All of you.” Satoru says, husky then, and Shoko's hands glide up your legs. Her mouth is hot and wet as it touches your inner thigh, and you gasp, your eyes closing involuntarily.

“You both are so hot, fuck.” You whine, and they both laugh a bit, tickling your skin even more, you’re a trembling fucking mess as Satoru holds you so tight with one arm around your waist.

As Shoko continues to kiss and lick higher and higher, you’re running one hand down her shoulder, down soft skin, as the other reaches back to Satoru’s face, leaning your head back at an angle to look at him. Desire flaring on his face as he looks right at you, like you’re the only thing in his world, like you are his world, and it takes your breath away.

You can't help but arch your back, your body begging for more, pressing further against his hard body and up for her kisses. Satoru's hand moves up to cup your breast, his thumb playing with your nipple, sending waves of pleasure through you along with Shoko teasing your clit with her tongue, looking up at you, her long nails pressing into your inner thighs.

“Oh my god! Mnh…” You cry out now, making her smile against you, you feel the upturn of her lips.

"You like that, baby?" Satoru whispers, his voice full of satisfaction. You nod, unable to form coherent words when Shoko's mouth moves lower, and you can feel her breath against your entrance, making you shiver. She looks up at you, her dark eyes filled with lust.

"Ready for me to get serious, sweets?" She asks, and you nod again, throat constricted as Satoru yanks one of your breasts out of that top, pinching your nipples hard.

With a wicked grin, Shoko dives in, her tongue parting your folds and sliding inside you. You cry out, the sensation so intense that you're not sure if you can handle it. But as she starts to move, as she explores and tastes, you find yourself lost in the moment, unable to think about anything but the pleasure she's giving you, and the man allowing it.

You can feel Satoru's hand moving down to grip your hip, his other hand tangling in your hair as he guides your head back. His mouth is on yours again, claiming you, possessing you, as if to remind you that no matter who else is touching you, you belong to him. And fuck if you don’t realize it, even as you’re getting wetter and wetter, soaking Shoko’s pretty face.

The very limo spins around you as the two of them work in tandem, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, delicate fingers, then rough long ones. You've never felt anything like this before, never been so exposed and so wanted, even in your experiences before. Because now Satoru could act exactly how he wants to, claiming you, all over you, not holding back.

He’s moaning in your ear, pressing up as she continues to bring you higher and higher now, and you’re crying out, your body shaking as you try to keep it together, Satoru’s mouth on yours, Shoko’s tongue in your pussy. You can’t believe what’s happening, but the feeling is so intense that you’re screaming out brokenly in the limo, to their soft sighs and cries.

Shoko’s tongue swirls around your clit, and you moan louder, your body arching off Satoru’s lap at it, then his hand moves up to your throat, squeezing gently, that perfect pressure he knows. “You’re close, aren’t you little slut?”

“Y-yes, close, close.” You whisper, as Satoru is gripping your hips, moving them and controlling your movements as you grind against her face, as Satoru bites your neck hard, and you’re shaking as the pain mixes with Shoko’s talented tongue.

“Cum, like a good little whore for me, baby. Let go now.” He orders, and you do just as he says, eating up his words as he wraps a hand around your throat, choking you as he watches you fall apart, hunger all over his face. “Let me see you.”

Satoru’s POV

Satoru feels your little body tense now, as you press against him, two lines between those eyebrows, your face contorted in pleasure, as you’re reddening just a bit when he squeezes even harder. Your pretty eyes roll back, and you gasp for breath as Shoko makes you cum, and he looks down to see you’re gushing all over her, and she’s drinking it up.

Satoru’s precum is sticking to his boxers, his pants as you cum, hips bucking up, your hands gripping his wrist as you look right at him with blown out eyes. Your lips part as you struggle to breath, fuck your life is just in his hands isn’t it? You’re all his, and you seem to know it, even as he lets her bring you to orgasm, you’re looking right at him the entire time.

Satoru could cum right now, but he’ll wait, till you’re all alone. He needs to do so many things to you tonight, now that you’re all his, he needs to make you such a fucking pathetic mess under him. He lets you go now, and you suck up a greedy breath, as Shoko rises, licking her lower lip and smirking at you, and you giggle breathlessly, your lush breasts heaving now.

Satoru takes those breasts in his hands, feeling you shiver against him as he feels their weight in his hands, so fucking perfect. His thumbs brush on your perky nipples now, making them taut as Shoko leans up to kiss you, and fuck if it’s not hot to watch you, kissing her back, your tongues messy, just a tiny bit of saliva dripping between both of you as she cups your face.

You turn to him then, a beautiful blush decorating your cheeks, and you turn your body toward Satoru, cupping his face with your small hands, tenderly, resting your forehead on his. And Satoru knows then, this is so past the obsession and lust, and it’s past falling, Satoru Gojo is madly in love with you.

He’s in love with you.

With you.

You.

He can never let you go, he can never let anything happen to you, fuck he can’t stand the thought of you not in his arms. He doesn’t even know how he’ll work without you there, will he bring you every day and have you warm his cock with your perfect cunt as he works? Will he fuck you over his desk and cum in you over and over, until you’re pregnant?

Will he come to your work every day and watch you, fuck you in that break room so much you’ll trip and fall as you try to be flirtatious in your little outfits? The ones that show too much of that tight fucking body, of your supple curves that constantly make his hands itch to grab you? The ones no one should see.

Should Satoru just hide you away?

No, you love your life too much, and he loves you enough to suffer others seeing you, for now. But the thoughts linger, of just keeping you at his house for him and only him, and bringing you everywhere he goes. He could keep you so fucked out you’d not care, not when he controls your body so well, not when you’re so clearly into him as well.

Feelings for him?

Feelings… for him.

You have them.

How?

Satoru kisses you softly then, exhaling, as you turn in his lap, and one of his hands splays your waist, thumbs pressing into your ribcage. You kiss him so sweetly, over and over, until it takes everything not to fuck into you, but he wants to keep that just for you all, he can’t have someone else, not when he has to lose himself in your every breath, your every sound, every touch.

You’re his now.

“You two are gonna make a baby. I need to get home.” Shoko teases, and he laughs as he watches you giggle, and fuck if it’s not so sweet to hear that throaty little laugh, to watch your face scrunch up so happy for once.

“That was amazing, Shoko. Don’t you want me to return?” You ask her softly now, your delicate fingers brushing back Shoko’s dark hair. She smirks a bit, her eyes going lidded.

“This psycho here is about to lose his shit as it is, but I had fun pleasing you.” She says, and Satoru watches you shift a bit, looking up at him now.

“Toru, don’t you wanna see my skills?” You ask, pouting so pretty, and he chuckles a bit, tapping your nose, why do you make him so stupidly happy, what is it about you?

“You can but I will bury my face in your pussy. I don’t know if I can look at Shoko like that.” Shoko laughs then.

“Same, I don’t wanna watch you two fuck again it was weird. But if you want to, Sweets, you can. Oh fuck my phone has gone crazy.” She picks it up as it’s buzzing, she sits next to you now, laughing. “Suguru is blowing it the fuck up.”

“Oh gosh I hope I didn’t give you a headache.” You say, you always care so much about others, and not enough about yourself, it makes Satoru angry, but at the same time he enjoys this so much about you. He’s kissing up your neck now, you tremble just a bit in his arms, he watches little goosebumps form on your smooth skin, everywhere he touches.

“Nah he’s bullshit for all this. Oh, he’s so fucking mad. He wants to come talk to me now.”

“Would he hurt you?” You ask, and she shakes her head. “Are you sure… I don’t want to-”

“Sweets, I’m good, promise. He won’t do shit except grovel at my feet. Now, I should head to my place so I can deal with him, get him to stop fucking with you both, I hope. If I just explain, Satoru and I are not interested and never have been. Do you think he’s too far gone, Satoru?” Shoko asks then, and Satoru sighs, for he can’t imagine how Suguru could redeem himself after what he’s done to you.

Satoru feels so much intense hatred towards him now, he’d been through so much pain because of a stupid fucking mistake years back, and now you have been through pain. Your first experience was now horrible, ruined for you, so Satoru detests Suguru so much, the one closest to him, but he’s going to make sure he doesn’t get near you ever again.

“I’ll keep her safe, don’t worry, Shoko. If he tries some shit, call me, don’t let him touch you, alright?”

Shoko nods, then leans in to kiss you goodbye, before punching Satoru in the shoulder, making him stick his tongue out at her. You slide off him then, sliding between her legs and slipping up her little black dress, looking to Satoru to get permission, and fuck if you’re not so hot now.

“Once, I’ll allow it. For scientific purposes.” He muses, making you giggle as Satoru tells the driver where to go.

You bend over right in front of him, you still have no panties on, so Satoru slides a finger down your slick folds, making your toned thighs tremble under his touch, he feels those muscles as his free hand runs down them, those calves so tight from your heels you prance around in, to the buckle of that heel still around your ankles.

You clench around his fingers, your soppy little cunt sucking him in when he slides two inside, past that tight entrance, as his other hand slips back up your thigh, gripping your ass, pulling your pussy wider for him. Shoko’s eyes shut in pleasure and she’s screaming out now as you bury your face, and he hears little sounds of you lapping her up.

Fuck you’re sexy, Satoru said he wouldn’t watch, but he’s watching you, and your little hand gripping Shoko’s slender thigh, while your free hand reaches back to Satoru, he takes it and shoves it behind your waist, pressing you further down, and you start gushing around his fingers now. You want him to control you, don’t you? With your little whines mixing with Shoko’s moans filling the limousine.

Shoko’s pulling at your hair, arching her hips up for more, and you’re shuddering as Satoru starts pressing on that spot, your hand sliding up to cup one of Shoko’s breasts, as you bring her higher, Satoru is pressing you closer and closer to your edge once more. You’re pulsing, and fuck he could slip into you now, as he’s holding your delicate wrist so tightly.

You come up for a gasp of air, crying out from his fingers, scissoring in and out of your perfect cunt, hair flowing down your back as you do, then you dive back down and with a couple more flicks Shoko has fallen apart, and she’s cumming on your beautiful face. Satoru lets your wrist go, yanking you up by your hair to look at your face now, soaked and glistening, and you lick your lips with a mischievous little grin.

Satoru swipes at Shoko’s wetness, his eyes drinking you in, and he smirks a bit as he pulls your hair hard, like you enjoy it. “You better have enjoyed that, you’re not doing it again.” He whispers, you whine out pathetically, leaning up to kiss him, but he holds you just a bit off, to keep you needy.

“Never again why, that’s so amazing. Elite.” Shoko muses, adjusting herself then, breathless, but Satoru glares at her. “Yours, I get it crazy.”

“Mmhmm. She enjoys it too much, slutty brat.” Satoru says, kissing you then, and you make this mewling sound from the back of your throat, back to straddling him. Fuck you feel so good in his arms, so good on him, as he inhales that scent, sweet jasmine mixed with your heady arousal. Shoko giggles at you two, grabbing her purse and yanking a pack of cigarettes out.

“Bye you crazy kids.” The limo comes to a stop now, and Shoko stretches, pecking a kiss on your cheek, looking at her phone now. “I think I’ll beat his ass, sounds fun to me.”

“Bye, Shoko, thank you so much.” You say softly, and she smiles, a little sad looking now.

“I still feel like shit, but maybe it’s all for the best, you’ve got psycho ass Satoru now, hmm?” Satoru flips her off, and the two of you just laugh. Shoko waves as she steps out, and Satoru looks down at you, stroking your cheek.

“Ready to go home for a few, baby?”

“Baby, not slut? And home now huh? That’s quick.” You whisper, and he just thinks of you, on his bed, what if you never leave, just stay there naked, waiting. Fuck the thought has him leaking more pre cum, cock straining.

“I have a dress there for you, brat. Can’t have you out in this where we’re going, hot as it is.” You kiss him then, softly, cupping his face.

“Thank you, Toru, that’s thoughtful.” You say, and he scoffs, but at that look in your glittery eyes? Fuck.

“Tch, it’s nothing, I need to dress you up, like my little doll to use.” He says, running his fingers down your arms, and watching you ignite under that touch.

And just like that, Satoru’s world shifts, the anger is a constant, but it’s now tempered with this fierce love for you, and the desire to keep you safe, to keep you in his arms forever. The intense need to fuck you until you can’t remember anything else except for the feeling of him deep inside you, to make you cum until you can’t walk straight.

Fuck he needs to kiss you until you can’t breathe, to make you love him just as much as he loves you, because there was no turning back now, was there? And as the limo starts moving, he’s already thinking of all the ways he’s going to make that happen tonight, all the positions he’ll have you in, all the ways he’ll watch that perfect face in pleasure.

You’re straddling him, your hands on his shoulders as he kisses along your neck, making sure to bite you hard, your skin in his teeth, making you gasp as your head is against his shoulder, feeling his hardness beneath you. Satoru’s hand is squeezing your ass as he whispers into your ear.

“You’re mine, all mine, you know that right?” You exhale, pulling back a bit to look into his eyes.

“You’re so intense, Satoru Gojo. But yes, I know. I made that choice when I called you that night.” You brush back his hair carefully, fuck your touch feels so good to him, it’s hard to take. “Satoru…”

“Mmm, what brat?” He asks, squishing your breasts in his hand and watching your expression.

“Tell me something no one else knows about you.” And for a moment, Satoru Gojo is surprised, his eyes flickering to the side, for you’ve caught him off guard. He thinks of so much he wants to tell you, about himself, but he doesn’t even know where to start.

“That photo, I stole it from Suguru’s phone when you started dating.” He says, and you suck in a breath, eyes going wide. “It’s one of you in lingerie, that outfit that has crotchless panties and your tits out. The amount of times I’ve cum to it…”

“Yeah, you did? Stroke yourself to it?” You whisper as you grind on him, and he moans, yanking you even closer and pressing up, feeling the heat of your eager cunt against his clothed cock.

“I’m breaking you in half tonight for this fucking mouth. Still taste Shoko on you, you know that?” He huffs, and watches your eyes dilate, the pupils overtaking your lighter irises, like a little ring now.

“Do you like that too, Satoru?” You ask softly, and he exhales, pressing up again, watching your head tilt back, exposing more of your pretty throat for his kisses, his bites, his tongue as your heat enwraps his cock.

“Nothing like your taste, evil little brat. You consume me.” He grabs your waist as he keeps licking a trail up the side of your neck, he feels your nipples pressing against his chest. “I would picture fucking you on my desk, would stroke myself in my office looking at it.”

“You need more pictures of me, huh?” You tease, and he sighs, nodding, as the Limo stops once more.

“I have a set for you to wear, under that dress. I’ll tie you up and do a photoshoot like that.” You blush right in front of him, even in the dark, and he smiles at that. “Never been tied up?”

“Of course I haven’t been, crazy. You mean my wrists?” You ask, narrowing your eyes a bit.

“Nah, entire fucking body. Hang you from my ceiling. You blush everywhere, you know?”

“Shush. Letting your crazy ass tie me up seems like a bad decision, what if you keep me tied up!?” He smirks up at you, it’s like you’re reading his goddamn mind, of his baser instincts that he shoves deep down.

“Only one way to find out, but that’s after the date. We’re here, c’mon.” He taps your hips now, and the driver opens the door. Satoru stands and tips him, letting him know to wait for a while, before giving you his hand to step out, when you step in the house he can’t help but press you against a wall, slamming his lips down on yours brutally.

You melt into his arms, lips so pliable and sweet, and Satoru briefly considers fucking you against that wall, but he wants to make you beg, plead, and you’re already close to it. You whine out, reaching down to rub his aching cock now, making Satoru even harder, sticking to his fucking boxers, pressing into your hand.

“Let me suck you for a bit first, please?” You ask softly, and he chuckles just a bit, as he brushes his thumb down your full lower lip.

“Then get on your knees, you can see what you’ve been doing to me all damn day.” You drop right to your knees, and Satoru takes one hand, pulling at your hair as one braces on the wall, and you’re unzipping him, opening your mouth eagerly, Satoru shoves your face on him, feeling the back of your throat, so wet and tight. “Oh my… f-fuck… that’s it, take it down that throat.”

You’re sucking and licking so eagerly, as he uses your throat, looking down at eyes watering with tears that trickle down the corners, landing on your long lashes, dripping to your cheeks. You are so fucking beautiful when you cry, aren’t you? Satoru feels your throat constricting around his length as you suck a breath through your nose, just like he showed you.

“Wanna know how often I came to that picture?” You whine, nodding now and pulling back just a bit to suck him, lapping his precum out of his tip hungrily.

“Please tell me, please.” You beg, voice hoarse from his cock, then he pulls your hair even harder, hips snapping his cock into that perfect throat again and again, you make his entire body shiver with pleasure, as his mind wanders, eyes rolling back in his head at how perfect you feel.

“I would lay in bed at night, picturing all the ways I would have you, how I’d suck, bite and kiss your skin until you’re black and fucking blue. Pinch those nipples so hard they’re swollen, then I’d beat that nice little ass of yours too, hit it over and over till you’re covered in my handprints- ah fuck!”

You’re moaning around him, bobbing on him so good, fuck you’re such a good girl, aren’t you for him? Satoru pulls out then, your cheeks hollow as you suck so hard, until he pulls out with a pop, and sees you’re covered with slobber and drool, dazed out eyes eating him up from down there.

“Satoru do we really need a date?” You ask, and he is tilting your chin up, to stroke your cheek, as he leans down.

“You demanded one, needy little brat. My dick gets you that horny, doesn’t it?” You pout, nodding, and a smile tugs at the corners of his lips, fuck you make him stupidly happy, don’t you?

“The words more than anything, but of course this.” You kitten lick his tip, and he sucks in a breath at that, pulling back at how sensitive he is now.

“Well if you’re a good girl I’ll show you some of what I’ve wanted to do.” He eases you up now, and watches as you nearly fall, and he gives you a smirk. “Can’t even walk from sucking me? Why are you so pathetic, hmm?”

“You make me this way.” You kiss him then, and he tastes himself, your tongue still has his precum on it, making him moan. “You have good self control, I am afraid mine is shit.”

“Oh baby I’ve had to watch you for so long, I’m patient now.” You blink a bit now, lashes casting shadows under your eyes, where he notices you’ve put concealer to hide those circles you have lately. But it’s not like he’ll let you get any sleep, will he? “There’s a box on the kitchen counter, if you’re not too fucked out to make it there.”

“Fuck off, Toru.” You scowl, and he laughs at you as you stomp over to the kitchen now, taking the black box with blue ribbon, opening it, then you gasp. “Oh my, it's so gorgeous… it’s so fancy!”

“Go put it on. But look under it.” You lift the tissue paper, then he watches your face flush, as you lift the black lace. “You’ll wear that under the dress.”

“Yes, sir.” You’re teasing but you’re making his cock hard again, fuck Satoru is just edging himself, but it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy to do that anyway, to tease his tip and play and play until he hurt. Now you’re right here, and you’re looking up at him, a smile lighting up your face, and it stabs him in the chest.

Satoru Gojo doesn’t hate you.

Satoru Gojo never did.

Hate, no…

He’s loved you since he saw you.

Your POV

You never hated Satoru Gojo, did you?

No, quite the opposite.

As you sit next to him that night in this fancy, beautiful little restaurant, cozy and intimate in a red plush booth together, and you look at him as he studies the menu, it’s like something clutches at your heart. He’s so heartbreakingly beautiful, with his smooth, perfect skin, those high cheekbones, those pouty lips that are pursed as he thinks of what he wants.

The soft lighting of the restaurant makes his skin shimmer, the intimate glow of the table lighting casting little reflections in the hollows of his cheeks, casting a striking shadow. His hair is freshly brushed back, but just a bit falls in the front of his forehead, making your fingers itch to brush it back now, but he is brushing it back with long, elegant fingers.

He’s in this three piece suit, a dark blue, and you’re in a glittery navy blue dress, that hugs your curves perfectly, as if Satoru had measured you inch for inch. It has a slit that goes daringly up one thigh, revealing a garter that was pink leather with a metal heart. Satoru had rolled his eyes as you had squealed in excitement at the fact he’d gotten you something pink.

“You staring at me?” He says then, in that husky voice so teasing and conceited, his swirling blue eyes locking on yours, making your mouth go dry. You swallow a bit, nodding then, watching his lips turn up on one corner.

“Can’t help it, too gorgeous.” Your voice is soft, but you see just a hint of pink on his cheekbones, before he scoffs.

“Of course I am. Look at you though.” His gaze flickers, and you feel his looks like a caress as they rest on your neck, then to your collarbone, then lower and lower, heat pooling in your tummy. “Surprised we made it out of the house with you in this. This is how I would dress you, like my doll.”

“Your doll, hmm?” You whisper, he lets out a quiet sigh, leaning close and kissing you gently, just a brush of his sweet lips. “Is that freaky talk, Toru?”

“Maybe you’ll see later tonight. You’ll be up all night, better order something good to fill you up before I do.” You’re a mess now, squirming in your seat, thighs rubbing together as you crave friction, crave him. “Want me to order for you?”

“Please? I’m used to like… a winghouse or something.”

“Gotta get used to finer things.”

“You’ll keep me around, hmm?” Your hand rests on his muscled thigh, and he leans closer to you now, you inhale that expensive, tantalizing cologne in your nostrils, making them flare just a bit.

“You’re not going anywhere. Did you think I’d let you go so easy?” He snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him, your leg over his own as he keeps looking at the menu.

“Do you still hate me, Toru?” You ask, and he looks away then, as if contemplating something. You wonder at times if you’ll ever get in his head.

“I never hated you.” You blink in surprise then, in shock almost, gasping as he then holds up two fingers and three waiters clamor over, all women who are dying for a chance to serve him. “White or red wine?”

“Pink.” You snort as he scowls at you, then sighs, looking over at the wine menu and running a finger down it.

“A bottle of Rose, please.”

“Yay!”

He glares again, and you’re laughing behind your hand. “Then we’ll start with the Duck Pâté en Croûte…”

“Duck!?”

“Shut it, prissy brat. Let the master work here.” You just watch him, as he speaks oddly perfect french. “Also the cake d’alsace to start, then we’ll have filet mignons for the main course, pick whatever side you think is best here.”

“Yes, of course, such a good choice Mr. Gojo!” One of the pretty waitresses says, and he just looks back at you, smiling a bit.

“Dessert we’ll do the creme brulee and chocolate mousse. I think that’s everything we need for the night.” He hands them the menus, and they eagerly bounce off, well two of them, one leans forward to whisper in his ear, and he tenses a bit, before glaring at her. “I tip insanely well especially if you don’t flirt with me while I’m with my girlfriend.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry… Mr. Gojo…” She blushes and runs off, and you look at him in surprise, smiling then.

“I’m your girlfriend, hmm?” He rolls his pretty eyes, long snowy lashes fluttering as he sighs.

“I won’t ask you.”

“Oh then maybe I’m not.”

“You are.”

“Then ask.” You both glare now, and then you laugh, caressing his face with your fingers softly. “I’m kidding. ‘Oh of course I’ll date you, Satoru’ there.”

“Didn’t ask.” You nudge him playfully, drooling practically at his smile.

“You’re so handsome when you’re smiling you know.” He pouts again, narrowing his eyes, and you sigh. “No really, I love it.”

“Yeah yeah, simp so hard for me, don’t you.” You roll your eyes at him, as they bring the bottle and appetizers, he pours you a glass himself, tilting the glass just so, before handing it to you.

“Maybe I do simp for you.” You admit, and he’s grinning again, he tries to hide it but it’s of no use, Satoru is having fun, and so are you.

Who would have thought.

His hand comes to cup your face, as he holds a little morsel of that crazy fancy food on a silver fork, and you part your lips, letting him pop it between. You chew then, eyes shutting, moaning a bit. “Fuck that’s yummy.”

“It is yummy.” He murmurs, and you gasp when he has slid a hand up your bare thigh, under the thick white tablecloth, making your body tense with stark desire. Your eyes open to see him studying you, those eyes so damn intense it’s hard to take. “So you tell me something no one knows.”

“You actually wanna get to know me? Because I’m your girlfriend?” You tease, only earning a rough squeeze on your thigh, bruising as he presses you down into that seat, making you so wet you can’t stand it. You want him so damn bad it hurts.

“You’re mine. Yes, you should tell me things now.”

“So demanding.” You scoff, as does he, then you sigh, taking a sip of the sweet Rose, with it’s tart aftertaste tickling your tongue. “Okay, well my parents um… left me when I was young.”

Satoru pauses then, his brows lowering. “Fuck them.”

You smile at that. “Yeah, they left me with my grandparents, who were sweet but we were very low income. I got picked on for having no money, for not having nice things, so I didn’t have many friends.”

“Fuck them too.” He sips his wine, and you raise your glass.

“Cheers to that.” Your glasses click, and fuck it feels good just to speak to him, for once no insane drama looming over you all. “So I ended up working my ass off from a young age, I bought what I could to sort of fit in, then I guess… boys started finding me pretty, so I ended up popular by default towards the end of high school. But I never felt like I fit in.”

“Why the Barbie bimbo aesthetic?”

“Well I never had barbies growing up, I had nothing really. So I sort of idolized her, she could do anything. I should show you my special collection.”

“No thanks.” You stick your tongue out and he smiles softly, hand soft on your skin again. “If you must.”

“I must, I collect all sorts of them, from the fifties and everything. Mmm, so yummy…” He’s putting another bite in your mouth now.

“So you got popular later. And you own that house don’t you?”

“How’d you know?”

“I may have looked it up online and saw you on the deed.” You lean back, glaring up at him now, and he shrugs, taking a bite and looking far too sexy doing so. “What, can’t I be curious?”

“How often did you watch me?”

“Just at night, I worried someone would stalk you.”

“Like you!?”

“No, someone terrible who’d hurt you.” You look up at the fancy ceiling with all the hanging chandeliers then.

“No more of that, got it?”

“If you move in.”

“Satoru!”

“It’s for your own good. Hush now.” He’s slipping his hand between your thighs now, where you’re hot and soaking wet, and he moans softly, as your hips rock against your better judgement. “You like it, stop fucking lying. You like me so obsessed with you I can’t think.”

“Fuck off.” It’s true, there’s something mentally wrong with both of you, you lean your head on his shoulder then, clinging to his silky blue tie and crying out when he finds your sensitive clit with a rough finger in little circles.

“I won’t have to as much now that you’re mine.”

“That’s so… toxic… mmm…” He hums just a bit, pulling that finger back and sucking on it like it’s dessert, your mouth positively waters.

“So you had shit parents, and a rough childhood. That kind of explains the overt daddy issues.”

“Oh whatever. You wanted to be called daddy.” You whisper in his ear, nipping the lobe then, enjoying that suck in of his breath.

“Fuck you, brat.”

“Mmm, you should. Edging yourself all damn night.”

“Just wait, fuck you’re impatient.”

Your hand slides up his lap now, over his cock, and he jolts then, as you tease him right back.

You don’t make it for dessert, that is in the to-go boxes now.

Satoru strips you down, the dress slithering off your body as he avidly stares at you, as it falls to a pool around your ankles, onto the floor of his bedroom. Satoru exhales, stepping back and holding your hands, pulling you toward his giant bed now, eyes devouring you in the lingerie. Your breasts are spilling out, and it’s barely covering anything.

Your first instinct is to cover up just a bit, then Satoru is picking you up in his arms, carrying you and hoisting you up on the bed to sit, hands trembling just slightly as they work down your breasts, your waist, your hips. He squeezes your breasts, bending down and licking your nipples through the black lace, your head falls back as it feels so damn good you can’t take it.

Satoru’s free hand slinks across your tummy, it trembles under his touch, until it goes to your throat, cupping you under your chin and looking down at you. “I’m feeling generous, I’ll let you pick. Tie you up, overstimulate you, or I could cause you so much pain, leave you marked everywhere for me. What does my greedy brat want?”

You’re so nervous you’re shaking, as you want it but you don’t even know what he’s talking about, what all it means. “Um… let’s try the pain?”

“You’re cute.” He says softly, tapping your nose, then he leaves for just a few and comes back, with a wood paddle and whips, and you’re even more nervous when you see little nipple clamps and a silver dangling chain that connects them. “Nervous?”

“Y-yeah. I’m new to this sort of thing.”

“Suguru is vanilla huh?”

“I don’t wanna think of that.” Satoru sighs at that.

“You wish it never happened?” He attaches a collar to your throat, it looks like some goth choker Cho would wear with a chain, then he tugs firmly, pulling your breasts out of the cups of the lingerie, running the cold metal on them, making you gasp.

“I only don’t regret the time with both of you, because that was our first time, wasn’t it, Toru? Mmm…” His eyes flicker with emotion then, and you watch him gulp, before he’s easing the clamps, and you’re whimpering. “Ah- ah… Toru…”

“Our first time to me was that night you came to me. Because that’s when I got to do what I really wanted. All by myself, the only way it should be.” His husky voice gets rougher as he twists the clamps, and they’re steadily pinching your nipples now, getting hard between them. “Fuck they look pretty like this. I can’t wait to suck on them after, you’ll be so bruised.”

“Toru do you even use a safe word?” He chuckles, as he places little kisses down your throat, tickling your skin.

“Sure we can, let it be barbie. But you’ll like it, you’ll do so good for me, a perfect girl won’t you?” You nod eagerly, and then he’s flipping you over, letting your legs dangle off the bed, you’re still in your black heels you notice, but he’s down there, taking them off, one by one. “If you can take ten hits I’ll get you off with my mouth, if you can’t you’ll be choking on my cock. Got it?”

“I’m good with either- ow fuck!” He smacks the fuck out of you now, on your right ass cheek with a paddle, making you glare back at him, while he looks hungry, licking his lips.

“You’ll address me better than that. C’mon, baby, y’know what to call me.” He says, caressing that cheek now, it stings and burns.

Satoru’s POV

“Yes, Sir?” You ask tentatively, bracing for another hit, and he smirks behind you, as he watches you bent over.

“Arch that ass back more. There.” He cooes as you press it up, your ass and hips like some perfect heart over his bed. “I’d brace yourself.”

“Shit-ah!” You cry out as he smacks your other cheek, watching it jiggle perfectly as he’s hit you hard, the sound resounding in his quiet room with a loud smack. You’re shivering, head buried. “Was sir not right?”

“No, baby, it wasn’t right. But it’s okay, I’m enjoying this view.” Both of your ass cheeks have red whelps, and he’s stripping down slowly, loosening his tie and his belt buckle as he’s straining against his boxers. “How should you address me baby?”

“D-daddy. Ah!” He smacks you again, this time lower on your cheek, but not quite as hard, and you’re moaning, shifting your hips, he sees those puffy lips of your cunt so perfectly where your thighs have a gap, and he’s sliding his finger between them for just a moment, groaning as you whimper. “Please…”

“Please what, brat? You have six more. You determine how hard they are.” You take a breath, looking back at him with pretty tears in your eyes, making him even harder.

“Please touch me more, Daddy.” He moans at that, at how that name sounds from your lips, images of him making you a mommy fucking killing him. Now he’s envisioning you pregnant, and he’s yanking his shirt off, suddenly too hot.

“If you don’t make a noise for the next two I will. Can you, slutty little girl?” You nod eagerly, bracing yourself again, fuck you’re adorable, aren’t you? “It’ll hurt less if you relax.” He grips your hips, thumbs pressing into the dimples in your lower back, and you exhale, softening your stance. “Ready?”

You nod, then he hits you hard, right between your ass cheeks, over your overheating cunt, and he hears you suck in a breath, burying your face, but you don’t make a noise. He’s so proud of you, especially when he smacks you again, right on your thighs, where he knows it will hurt more, but you’re just quietly moaning into his blankets.

“You’re such a good girl. I don’t think you need more hits.” He puts his paddle down then, and caresses your ass cheeks, covered in red marks, but you look back at him again, lust overtaking your gorgeous face.

“I wanna be s’good for you, Daddy.” You whisper, then arch your back out more. “I can take the rest.”

Fuck.

“You can take four more? You sure, brat?”

“I can do it, promise.”

You like it, fuck you like it don’t you? Satoru bends down on his knees now, kissing where he’s marked, his breath merely teasing your cunt, fuck he’s wanted to lick it all night, but he wants you a mess, and you’re becoming one for him. He stands back up, grabbing the whip instead, stepping back and angling it on your right cheek, leaving another welp.

You keep your noises in, but he sees it, the wetness drooling from your cunt. “You’re making a mess, these carpets are expensive.”

“S-sorry, Daddy.” You’re so good, fuck.

“Three more, you ready?” You nod, and he smacks you again, again, then again… and you nearly fall, he has to wrap an arm around you before you collapse, knees knocking. Satoru cups your face gently, eyes searching yours for any sort of pain or fear, but your eyes…

They’re glazed over with desire, dilated.

“You did so good, baby.” He says softly, and your tears fall down your pretty face in streaks, as you sniffle, clinging to him then, slamming your lips on his, nearly knocking him to the floor with the ferocity.

“Please, please, please.” You whisper fervently, Satoru gently places you up in the center of his bed now, leaning over you on his arms, struck by your beauty as you’re sobbing under him.

“I’ll take care of you baby. I’ll take care of you.” He says softly, and watches as you sniffle, as your hips arch up, your ass must be throbbing huh? But you’re clinging to him desperately, then he’s kissing your lips, drinking in the rest of your sweet cries, tasting those salty tears, before he’s spreading your thighs, kissing down your throat, his mouth watering as he thinks of your pussy on his mouth again.

“Toru… need you. Need you.”

Fuck you need him?

Well Satoru needs you, on him, under him, a fucking mess.

Perfect.

Your POV

Satoru’s looking up at you with those beautiful blue eyes, and your ass is pulsating with brutal pain, but it only enhances your need for him, of how much you crave this man. He’s so sweet now, such a fucking contradiction, as he parts your glistening lips and swipes his tongue up, you damn near cum from just that, thighs shaking as you scream out.

He moans softly against you, his hands shoving your thighs up as his tongue swirls your clit, before he's sucking it into his mouth. You scream out in pleasure, hands entwining in his snowy white hair, as he hums on it and you feel the pleasure shooting through your body, mixed with the pain of the clamps and your stinging ass cheeks.

Satoru laps you up as you cum all over his face, drinking you with an eager tongue, now he is reaching up, tightening the clamps. The pain just makes you wetter as he then pulls on that chain, and it constricts your breath just so, on either side of your throat, licking more and more fervently. You damn near can't take it, it's too many sensations at once, along with his blue eyes that look so lovingly at you.

You cum harder this time, this orgasm making your hips buck as you gush all over his mouth. Satoru moans, sliding up now and pinching your nipples again, you feel the tears start all over at the pain, and he looks at you so adoringly, so intensely, brushing your tears aside.

“Yeah, does it hurt baby?” You nod, jerky movements as your thighs quiver around his hips, and you feel that hot length on your inner thigh. “Want me to take em off? Gotta ask nicely.”

“Please d-daddy… mouth.” You're reduced to broken, nonsensical statements, yet again. Satoru makes you lose your sense of self, you forget how to move those lips.

“Okay baby. I'll take care of them.” He whispers, pulling the clamps off to reveal bruising nipples, which he tenderly kisses. You gasp, back arching into the hot embrace, jerking back when he sucks one into his mouth, so sore and aching you are crying more. “Mmm… you know how pretty you are crying?”

“Am I, Daddy?”

“You're so pretty. That mascara running down these cheeks… aw look, they're so puffy and red.” He pinches your nipples, and you let out shaky sobs as he cooes over you mockingly. But you're even wetter, hands reaching for his hips, pulling him down.

“Please, inside… me. Please oh please.” You whisper, pleadingly looking up at his pretty face, and his eyes dilate until they're so dark, and he is pulling your hips up as he holds his cock at the base, rubbing on your clit, making your face scrunch up in pleasure as it hits, you cum just when his tip presses in.

Satoru sucks a sore nipple again, eyes watching as you’re crying in pain, before shoving his cock inside you, so many fucking inches snug in your entrance, hitting your cervix on the first damn thrust. He releases your collar now, your cunt tightening around his cock as he slams into you, so deep, so rough, that you're sure he's going to split you in half.

But oh it feels so good, like nothing you’ve ever felt before, as you fall more into Satoru, the man that watches you, that stole pictures, that looked up your damn house. The same man that turned down a pretty waitress right in front of you, that’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the goddamn world, as his cock wrecks your pussy, and he wrecks your fucking mind.

You can't stop screaming, your throat hoarse as he hits that spot so good, that spot that makes your eyes roll back into your head, his thick leaky tip pressing again and again, until he’s flipped you, and you’re on top. You rock your hips, rolling them and resting your hands on his chest, and he’s moaning as he fucks up into you, sucking on your sore nipples, biting them and making tears fall down onto his face.

He’s fucking you so hard, you're bouncing on his cock, those bruised cheeks smacking against his hard thighs as you are slammed down his length, his hands brutal on your hips. Your thighs are sticky with your cum, dripping down to his stomach, mixing with his sweat in precum, sounding so loud and squishing so fucking obscene. Satoru slides his hands up your breasts, pinching them and making you shiver as you struggle to move.

“You’re so good for me, so fucking perfect. All mine, all fucking mine, aren’t you?” He whispers, yanking you down then, gripping your ass that’s covered in whelps, as you fall against his chest, your hair falling like a curtain to the side of you both.

“Yours, m’yours Toru.” You say softly, and he gasps then, his eyes fluttering shut, as you kiss him desperately, tongues entwining so fucking sloppy, and he’s steadily thrusting slower, but deeper, impossibly, you think you’ll break from it.

“Wanna be my little doll?” You nod eagerly, having no clue what he means. “Then stay really still, and don’t speak, can you? Let me use you.” You nod again, and Satoru groans, his movements getting erratic as he lifts your hips up and fucks into you, and you scream out, making him smack your cheek just slightly. “Stay still, dolls can’t move don’t you know?”

You get even wetter as you try to stay still, as Satoru cups your face, looking so deeply in your eyes, his cock making your inner walls throb, so fucking sore but you want more, more, more. You stay so quiet, tears still falling as his big hands brutally use your ass to bounce you, and your eyes roll back, as you bite your lip so hard you break the skin.

“That’s it, good girl. Good girl, my little doll. Just mine.” He cups your face then, flipping you, shoving your thighs up so high you’re going to be so sore, the stretch delicious as he presses you down with his weight. “I’m gonna fill my pretty doll up, that’s what you’re good for, cumming in, hmm?”

You don’t answer, and he grins, shoving his cock back in, holding your thighs down as he cups your face, eyes drinking you in as you’re sobbing at how good it feels, your nipples against his chest, his body dripping with sweat, your ass scraping against the blankets. He’s hitting that spot inside you, the one only he can hit, making you scream against your will.

“Sorry, sorry…” You whisper, and he huffs then, shaking his head, gulping as he grips your face so goddamn tight, squeezing your fucking skull.

“You’re mine, all mine. Aren’t you?” You nod eagerly, and he moans, and you can feel him thicken and throb, as he presses in so deep it hurts, and you’re shaking everywhere as you struggle to stay on this Earth, as Satoru becomes your Earth, your universe, your everything.

“Y-yours, all yours. Yours.” He moans then, kissing you before he’s coming deep inside you, your body milking him, making him pulse out everything he’s got, and he moans so loud, his cheeks flushing.

“Take all this cum, wanna get you pregnant baby. Yeah?”

“Yes, please… please.” You’re gripping him so tightly, cupping his face as he is, as he pumps you so goddamn full, filling you everywhere with those hot sticky ropes of cum, until you’re both trembling messes, kissing desperate, messy, sloppy.

And when he’s done, his cock still deep, his eyes closed for just a moment before he blinks and looks at you, caressing your hair and looking at you like that? When you’re sobbing into his neck, feeling so empty and so full at the same time. “It’s okay baby, I got you. You did so good, you know that?”

“Satoru…” You’re huffing, your cheeks reddened, your eyes watery, as he eases your legs down, still nestled snug in your cunt, aftershocks making you both gasp, both whine.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He kisses your forehead, but you shake your head then, for once all this drama of Suguru, of everything was shoved back, and only one thing was completely clear.

“Satoru… I… I love you.” You whisper then, between your tears, a mumble, and Satoru Gojo pulls up, resting on his hands over you, his blue eyes wide.

Shit…

ao3 chap: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58179796/chapters/151141063

A/N: Stalking isn't cool, Gojo is hella toxic... but it's a yandere story you knew this lol.

#gojo x reader #gojo smut #satoru x reader #gojo satoru #jjk x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jujustu kaisen #jjk gojo #shoko ieri #soft yandere #satoru x you #yandere gojo satoru #yandere gojo #gojo x reader smut #satoru smut #threes0me #bdsmplay #pain kink

101 notes · View notes

gender-luster · 1 day

Text

does anyone know how to unlearn that mindset they were taught by their parents as a child where if they're unwell, but they experience any amount of joy or other positive feeling, clearly they're not too unwell to be doing stuff?

because like. i'm having flare-ups so bad right now that i'm stuck in bed, and i'll see something online that makes me giggle, and my brain's just like "well well well. look who's faking. you should be up being a productive member of society, " but then if i move too much, im like passing out from pain and shit

#i guess this leads to the even larger question of. does anybody know how to stop hating yourself for being disabled?

51 notes · View notes

joydoesathing · 1 day

Note

heres a challenge say everything you love about every single tnmn characters

BET ( but only some doppels will count and the rest don't)

Neighbors

Roman - I like me some serious no-nonsense/ i-am-done-with-life looking guy in accounting :). But he seems to also be actually someone with a soft spot for some things and is actually a really nice and chill dude

Lois - She's so pink and plump and has a beauty mark/mole (people with moles will always have a bonus in my book)

Albertsky - He gives grumpy uncle vibes. Looks like would probably throw hands without hesitation if the situation calls for it

Robertsky - He silly. Love the little quirks in his dialogue where he just greets the doorman "Hi." and says "I look as handsome as ever". Also, I love his outfit. Bro may have no eyebrows and neck visible, but his clothes slay so hard . Like there is no reason why his fit should have a fancy little blue scarf, but yet it does .11/10 XD

Angus - He's a devious looking little shit >:))). And he wears purple and is Italian.

Elenois and Selenne - They pretty women and have a mole

Arnold - His design is just SO CUTE. He reminds me of Jake from Adventure Time with his mustache. But mostly it's the eyes for me. I like to imagine that his eyes would kind of work like this

Gloria - Gives literal ✨Q U E E N ✨ (she could slap me up to the stratosphere and I wouldn't be that mad). Purple and has a mole. Her golden eyes are mesmerizing too

Izaack - His name's cool and he has the stare-into-your-soul blue anime ahh looking eyes

Margarette - Gives nice little auntie vibes and she knows how to make clothes. I would legit ask her for dressmaking tips just so that I could make historical clothes (I love fashion history)

Nacha - Honestly, when I first played the game, she scared the shit out of me because of the Stitchface doppel and I haven't seen her the same for a bit. But after I figured out she's a mom, she didn't seem that bad and I grew quite fond of her. And she cooks too (If you can see a pattern here, I like people who give of parental/familial vibes)

Anastacha - Girl literally gives the doorman attitude like she owns the place XD

Mia - Again, pretty woman. Love the style of her red dress with the pearls.

Dr. W. - Fucking nerd (affectionate)

Francis- The milkman fit looks nice with his face (but I still get war flashbacks from the plethora of thrists arts and the "save the cow, milk the milkman" line being done to death)

Steven - Here's me being a basic bitch rn, but I really, REALLY love them real rugged guy guys (military soldiers, firemen etc.) That, and also he's a tan boi.

Mclooy - Same reason why I like Steven + He's a DILF/GILF. Also I love to point out a little observation of how him and Steven are one of the most American and typically masculine people I can think of (it's quite endearing for me). A military guy and cowboy in one family? They've probably asked what a kilometer is at one point in their adult life.

Alf - He's so tiny and looks so polite. Posh looking lawyer. I love sweet old grandpas.

Rafttellyn - She gives marites energy (it's a Filipino term, you can go search it up) with her dress and style. No joke, she would low-key fit in with these people.

Even her name sounds Filipino to me with the -lynn at the end of her. I even jokingly pronounce her name as rap-ti-lin.

Others + VIPs

Henry: Looks like he really never signed up for the doorman job frfr XD

D.D.D : Amongus???????

Clown Mask: Silly face behind mask

Nightmare Clown: I like how the guy just gets so MAD and in denial when he loses the game in Unlikely, he phases out of the astral plane XD.

Keppler: He may not have a face or proper lore yet, but all I know is that he messed up big time and I wanna know how he's handling that.

42: Reminds me of that one time in science class when we were observing fingerprint patterns

Peach Peach: Probably one peach seed is his only brain cell that's floating around his brain space

Ghost Mask and The Flesh Nurse: Cool looking designs. Do they have lore???

Nightmares

Xezbet - Gargamel looking aah

Drugia - Arabian NIIIIIIGHTS ~~~~~ like Arabian DAAAYS~~~~~~. She looks like a genie :)

Barbatos- Chonky and spiky

Excel - Chonky and spiky, Christmas ham looking ahhh

Abducius - Well, he still has the little devious smile

Anazareth and Lilith - Pretty witchy ladies. Though I like Anazareth a lot more.

Chaugnar - *Siri, please play Ganesha by MASA Works Design". Also elephant <3

Nyogtha- Nice little details with her eyes

Zoth - I like his red robe (?)

Shub - Thick Medusa and she has a little heart shaped tattoo on her forehead

Yog - The fact that he was probably intentionally made to be a Great Value Edward Cullen by Nacho sama as an inside joke about Francis' simps

Quachil - Cute biblically accurate angel. And she floats

Yan - Ooh Chinese mythology reference.

Orcus - "Thirty years since all this happened, thirty years it took to rise. Blood on the floor and in their eyes, they took a bite and left it to die-". I had a FNAF phase before so this was a funny throwback

Ishtar - Goofy ass smile (affectionate)

Teutates - So, does he play in a band ??? XD

Ah Puch - Cutie pie that looks like a slasher villain. Also the surname tho? Gives me The Book of Life flashbacks

Dagda - Bug eyed scarecrow. He does have cool looking mouth stitches

Izanami - Ooooh Japanese mythology reference

#ask stuff #that's not my neighbor #too many characters to tag

36 notes · View notes

beevean · 2 days

Note

If I’m being honest, you are all getting way too hung up on fake diseases and attacking a writer as if he personally attacked your family. It’s a strange obsession you have and you guys always come at any small nitpick as if it’s the end of the world. It’s a weird obsession and you have all been doing it for years. Maybe you liked Sunset Heights getting a remix but you also play victim when people don’t like the 2010s games. You can see Sonic is more successful now and doing things much better but you just like to sit in your anger towards the series for years. I’ll add that you’re much more sane in your reactions than RandomtheFox, but this whole side of the fandom here is so pathetic. The endless loop of anything new coming out for Sonic, and your little posse hating on it because it isn’t the meta era or because Ian Flynn has his name on it makes me glad you guys are a small minority in the fandom.

Do you want to know why we're discussing this?

If you go back and read our discussions, see how much we brought up with this little detail!

I looked up the effects of low gravity on the human body: I learned something new about science. I tried to put into words why this detail is harder to accept than Sonic breathing in space: this is about stories and world building. I immediately found a replacement idea. We discussed about SA2, its gameplay mechanics, its cutscenes. Someone even brought up the idea of drawing parallels with AIDS and how it would affect Maria. Negativity can stem from a place of reasoning, "how would I do that?", and it makes me use my brain in a fun way. I'm aware it's a inconsequential detail, but I'm having fun!

As for the rest of the message, yeah, we are a minority. Which makes me wonder why you care so much about a group of, what, four people?

Why don't I get any engagement when I'm positive, but suddenly people are up my ass when I talk about something negative? I didn't even tag most of my posts. Bro half of the Sonic fandom blocked me already because I'm a dirty sinning IDW non-enjoyer. I am not bothering anyone.

By the way, my negativity about IDW once even resulted in me writing a fic about it. Again, creativity and genuine discussions about writing a story and its downfalls. It nourishes the brain.

I don't like this new direction for Sonic. There, happy? I don't feel catered to, as a 2000s fan, by all this "REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE COOL????" stuff, not to mention I'm just not a Shadow fan so seeing him with wings and shit does nothing for me. I am annoyed because this used to be a franchise dear to me, but the current environment, both games and fandom, alienates me. I am also aware that, precisely because I'm in the minority, I'll just have to wait until ST changes trend again.

If my writer side activates when I talk about a writing decision I don't like and I'm having fun dissecting it, let me, alright? You can find me cringe, if you want to, but I'm not doing anything different than other fans, just directed towards a less acceptable target and in the privacy of my blocked blog.

Also: to be perfectly honest, if it only takes me one day of mild bitching to get anons yelling at me that I'm a joyless bastard doomed to be sad because I refuse to be happy, it kind of makes me want to be saltier out of spite. I'm already a bad person, might as well, right?

#i'm asking again: why isn't the cv fandom crawling up my asshole in the same way?#what is about sonic that makes fans wanting to squash any dissenting?#i accept the apology message you sent but this still needed addressing #edit: no wait there was *one* cv fan who crawled up my asshole but at least they pretended it was about me replying to a screenshot #so they caught the occasion to call me rude - and yeah fine #it wasn't specifically because i was being negative

34 notes · View notes

marshemillow · 2 days

Text

You know what? I'm talking about "phone addiction" again because I'm not done.

Do you know what an addiction is? Addiction isn't "you do it just out of habit because you don't think about it" addiction is "if you stop you will literally be in agony and that's why you keep turning to the thing."

We have this baked-in idea that addiction is a moral failing, that if you have a phone addiction, it really just means you need to get off your phone. Yeah, addicted to alcohol? Just stop! Don't drink it anymore! Withdrawl? What's that? If you drink alcohol, it obviously means you just don't have enough willpower! If you can't stop drinking alcohol, it means you're a bad person. You basically deserve to have liver failure at that point!

Yes some people actually believe this! They don't know that paramedics carry alcohol with them specifically because it saves the lives of people going through alcohol withdrawl, they don't care! It's something they cheer themselves up with because they aren't addicted to alcohol, and that means they're a good person.

I am so sick and fucking tired of people pathologizing and moralizing non-moral issues. Addiction, or Substance Abuse Disorder, is an actual physical health condition. It's a disease. You can't stop it with enough willpower, it's something that needs actual medical treatment. Just looking at coping mechanisms or even just things that make you feel good because they release dopamine in your brain and calling that an "addiction" does so much damage to people's understanding of real addiction and makes addicts look like evil weak cowards instead of people with a disease that needs treatment. That's fucking evil. Imagine telling someone with cancer that they just didn't have enough willpower to stop it. Disgusting.

And it's extra ironic coming from these people who think they're addicted to their phone saying "you just need to stop" and then not stopping, meanwhile I have often just forgotten I don't have my phone with me and then get confused when I don't have it. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Why is the person who "knows" it's an "addiction" (in the moral failing way) still not have enough willpower to stop whereas I have to consciously remind myself to go find my phone because I just forget it exists when I don't believe in phone addiction? Literally half the time I take my phone out of my pocket, it's just to check the time.

It's almost like "phone addiction" is just another way to make people feel guilty for doing things they like doing. It doesn't make them stop, they just feel worse about it. They don't think about it as a coping strategy that fades as their life circumstances get better.

And every single time, when you find these people who feel bad for doing things that make them happy, they grew up christian. Every fucking time. "Struggle with addiction" and it's just guilt applied to something normal.

STOP MAKING YOUR CATHOLIC GUILT EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM!!! IF YOU CARED ABOUT "PHONE ADDICTION" YOU WOULD BE TAKING ACTUAL STEPS TO MINIMIZE HARM, NOT THROWING GUILT AT PEOPLE JUST FOR ITS OWN SAKE!!!

#addiction #purity culture #pathologizing #getting real fucking sick of this #important #emi talks #idk

38 notes · View notes

nqueso-emergency · 3 days

Note

queso, idk why I did it. I wanted a laugh. It was a bad choice. I went in to the buddie tag.. and instantly felt like I was losing all my brain cells when I saw someone say Oliver is going to switch his photography to color when Eddie comes out (or buddie canon) and it’d be really wizard of Oz… And I -

I think all my brain cells are gone. I regret my life choices. WHY does everything, even Oliver shooting in black and white HAVE TO BE ABOUT BUDDIE. ffs. I can’t.

Never go into that tag for a laugh 😭 go to the Eddie Diaz tag or something.

Thank you for bringing this up though because someone sent this post to me and I forgot about it!! (Sorry!!)

I've stopped covering X names because they want to act like fucking fools and I don't give a damn anymore ... but I'll cover this person because I don't know them.

Why are the tags longer than the post 😭😭😭

#nquesu wanna block #911 abc #anonymous #911 discourse #911 show #nquesu want receipts

34 notes · View notes

ohnoitsjetster · 19 hours

Note

Didn’t Herbert West technically TECHNICALLY try to baby trap Dan in Bride of Reanimator?

Thoughts?

(Im sorry this took forever to respond to. life got in the way, of my silly little words)

technically, yes. The main intention was the same. But "Baby Trap" does not even start to explain the shit Herbert pulled in Bride of Reanimator.

thoughts? you want THOUGHTS? alright how about let me break down exactly what Herbert did here:

That man stole Megan's heart from an evidence locker and stored it in his fridge. When Dan tried to leave Herbert, He offered the heart to Dan with every ounce of reverence he could deliver without getting down on one knee.

that is to say, Herbert anticipated that Dan would leave him and saw that he loved Megan. So his reaction was to steal Megan's actual physical HEART, and give it to Dan as an offering to force him to stay.

He vaguely explained that he was about to baby trap him with it, to which Dan agreed because of his blind love for Meg, and his blind love for Herbert, and because, in the words of Bruce Abbot, "no one will ever get rich overestimating Dan's bad taste."

(This could maybe be because the world of Reanimator uses weird sci-fi logic where the heart contains the person's personality or life or whatever, and it'd actually bring Meg back (even though these movies seemed pretty brain-focused thus far), in which case, pretty good manipulator leverage! nice job, Herbie! Otherwise, its either because Herbert knew Dan would like this weird creepy gesture of love, or because Herbert thought this weird creepy gesture of love was a normal and good idea, and coincidentally Dan was that same wavelength of out-of-touch freak as Herbert, because they're just meant for each other or something. That last option is my personal favorite)

So, then Herbert goes around the hospital STEALING more body parts off corpses (former patients who also presumably received some form of care and attention from Dan), trying to create Dan's perfect woman based on his shallow perception of whatever it is that straight, allosexual, relatively neurotypical men like (maybe since Herbert can't be what Dan wants romantically, he can create it for him and earn love that way (that cannot be good for His internalized transphobia)).

so then he meticulously assembles a woman like an Ikea cabinet and proceeds to give Dan the worlds most sensual elevator pitch, using... a line that he heard Dan use with his girlfriend when he was eavesdropping on them having sex. He tries to explain why this is the perfect woman for all your woman needs! Like uhhh sex, and... sex, and lawyering? maybe murder? (I guess he thinks it'd be nice to have a woman who can kill for you and defend your crimes in a court of law. That does sound useful in their situation)

Then he watched the Bride fight Francesca like some sort of underground girlfriend fighting ring, as if the larger and stronger girl would win ownership of our poor pathetic Dr Cain. Unfortunately Herbert's creation broke down to nothing when it removed its own heart to give it to Dan in the same exact gesture with which Herbert showed Dan the heart earlier.

Pure heterosexual coincidence, of course. There is absolutely nothing odd about Herbert's gift to Daniel being a grotesque amalgamation of everyone Dan loved instead of him and everything those people had to offer Dan, fueled by the pumping of Megan's heart (whom Herbert had hated and competed with), a heart both stolen and offered willingly, one both frozen and thawed, both beating and dead. There Dan stays, too close, yet too far. (am i reading into it- You Bet)

Yup. Pure coincidence. And also nothing suspicious about it being a creature created of such concentrated love, reverence, devotion, and bitter fear of rejection, that at the moment of being pushed away, it entirely self destructs because its only purpose was to love Dan and be loved by him. Its only purpose was to be perfect for Dan, to be enough for him, to be some action of Herberts blood sweat and tears that could ever be wanted by him. But of course Herbert doesn't understand Daniel - understand people - as well as he hoped too. Dan is horrified. No clearer rejection than that. If we see her as an extension of Herbert, it's obviously the last straw. Herbert truly did everything for Dan, not only was he still unlovable, but repulsive, an affront to... what have you; god, nature, some simple short-sighted ideal of what a human should be. Above that Dan could see the seams of the uncanny imitation of his past loves, and the love that laid beneath was too much for him. Too loud, too fast, too raw and bloody. So it dies. The heart is given, and thrown away.

What I'm trying to say is that shit was crazy. Herbert could have done a much more cut and dry baby trap. He could have reanimated some random kid, forcing Dan to stick around and protect it. That would have been its own special kind of fucked up and is probably a good fanfic prompt. But noooo, Herbert had to do the most psychosexual, convoluted, batshit, traumatizing, bloody, gory, and frankly unnecessary declaration of love that could be achieved by one little scientist with nothing to his name but a little green potion and every mental illness. I for one think it was a fantastic idea.

No tldr, ur just gonna have to match my freak on this one. Hope my mad ramblings made some sense. Peace and love

#saying stuff #asks #rambles #reanimator #herbert west #daniel cain #danbert #bride of reanimator #the bride of reanimator

28 notes · View notes

clownprincehoeshi · 2 days

Text

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 11

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 15.369

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Rebloging is important and much apreciated. Leave your comments, oppinions, ideas, whatever you like. My inbox in open. Kpop writers, let’s be moots?

You wake up in his arms, facing each other. His face between your breasts, just like he said he would sleep. You don’t know when he got there, but you think he could get anything he wanted from you if he would just ask. You’d give him anything and everything.

You’re laying like that, wanting to feel him next to you for a little while longer, feeling sleepy and lazy. You think he’s starting to wake up slowly, because his hands are getting a little adventurous.

You’re happy you’re wearing clothes, or else you’d be finished by the way his hands are going everywhere.

He’s very gentle though, and he keeps on pushing himself more into you with tiny whines.

One hand squeezing your waist, getting a little moan out of you.

He thinks he’s in heaven. You feel so warm and fluffy against him. He just loves your boobs and he feels he could die happy right now.

His hand moves slowly from your waist, running down to your hip and your thigh, squeezing there, then lifting your leg and putting it over his hip, pulling you even closer. You moan his name.

Your hand goes in his hair, playing with it. Mouth opening, breathing heavy when you feel his little kisses right between your breasts. Damn, why did Hana pack me this tiny top and not a full ass tshirt?

You could feel his hard cock on your thigh and your mind went foggy. You were certain your panties were soaked by now. Afterall, the whole night was tough for you.

You moaned his name again into his silky hair, pulling it gently.

His mouth started going up your collar bones, your neck, jaw. Leaving small kisses all over. You wanted him so bad. Wanted all of him. But you needed to stop. You will stop the moment your brain starts working again.

His hand leaves your thigh and comes to your cheek, caressing it.

Soonyoung: My pretty girl. Good morning!

You don’t know why, but that action makes you so fucking shy that you hide your face into his neck.

Soonyoung: Aww, getting shy on me?

Y/N: Shut uuup! (in tiny)

Soonyoung: I can’t believe you’re in my bed.

Y/N: Don’t get any ideas.

Soonyoung: Of course now. You’re not my girlfriend yet.

Y/N: Can I ask you something?

Soonyoung: I would be worried you wouldn’t

Y/N: Does it bother you that your friend is my ex?

Soonyoung: I don’t think it bothers me, but there’s something there. I don’t know how to explain, but I don’t keep that against you or him. We are humans with feelings. We can’t dictate who we love.

Y/N: I found out last night what happened with the Mingyu cheating thing.

Soonyoung: How?

Y/N: From Jungkook. He said he planned it and that Mingyu never cheated. So I need to talk to him and apologize.

Soonyoung: Knowing this now, you think…there’s a chance you two…

Y/N: Don’t even finish that sentence. No, there is zero chance.

Soonyoung: Should we get up and get breakfast? It’s almost 8, need to the ready to leave by 9.

Y/N: I don’t want to, but let’s go.

You call Hana to let her know you’re coming to your room to get ready and you find her already awake.

Before you leave, you give Soonyoung a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Hana: Hey, wifey, how did you sleep?

Y/N: Um, might have been the best sleep in months.

Hana: Why? Were you that drunk?

Y/N: I slept in Hoshi’s room.

Hana: You did whaaaat?

Y/N: Nothing happened though. It left me hot and bothered.

Hana: Anything else I need to know?

Y/N: There is so much that happened last night. I’ll tell you all about it at breakfast. Let’s hurry, I need a shower and brush my hair.

After toy have a nice breakfast with Hana and tell her the spicy details from this morning, you get to work. This time you’re having a meeting before heading to the concert venue to help with the last preparations and rehearsals.

You decided that things are starting to get better. It was hard at first, being around Mingyu and Soonyoung. You didn’t know what they thought and how they will treat you.

Well, you knew they will be respectful and professional, but things are always different in real.

After finding out that Mingyu is over what you had and he doesn’t hate you, your life became easier. Work became easier, and you always loved your work. Having good relationships with people you worked with made you more passionate about it.

Today it was sunny mostly, little white fluffy clouds moving around the sky. It was the perfect weather for you, you loved the summer and the heat.

Most of the staff were at the stadium where Seventeen are going to perform the next day. The rooms were crowded, last minute modifications on the outfits, last minute changes on the song list.

Walking on the hallways, trying to find the lights crew, you noticed a scene in the room that seemed to be for makeup and hair. Some of the guys, including Hoshi were sitting on chairs, having their makeup done.

You didn’t want to jump to conclusions and you weren’t the jealous type, but the girl doing Soonyoung’s makeup seemed a little to close and flirty with him. The little devil on your shoulder told you to stop at the door and watch.

She was all giggles and complimenting him. It was the first time you saw her doing his makeup, usually she was working only with Seokmin, Wonwoo and Joshua.

This intrigued you and you needed to know more. So you stand there silent and smiling. You couldn’t hear everything they were saying, there was too much background noise.

But one thing that you could hear very clearly was from her to him “Your lips are so juicy and sensual, could touch them all day”. Oh! Well shit!

You felt on fire and wanted to leave that spot, but it’s something you would have done before. You need to stop being impulsive in situations like this. And like you said earlier, don’t jump to conclusions. Just wait and see his reaction.

You could not hear what he said to her, you could just see his face in the mirror in front of him. He was smiling a little flustered. He likes her attention.

With a disappointed look on your face, you glanced at him once more and left. And just at that moment when you took your eyes off him and turned your back to walk away, he saw you in the mirror.

It took him exactly 5 seconds to realize that you saw the scene where the makeup artist was flirting with him and he immediately got up and went after you. Few steps around the hallways and he could not see you.

“Damn, she’s fast” he whispered to himself.

Seconds felt like minutes between all the noise and the crowds. Bumping into people, desperate to find you and explain what you saw.

But when he finally sees you, he paces his steps and manages to grab your wrist to pull you into an empty room. He knew the venue better than you and he knew a small room where they kept extra outfits. So he dragged you in there.

You found yourself being dragged in a dark room. You could see inside only when Soonyoung opened the door to get you both in there, but after, almost complete darkness.

You stayed silent and let him talk. Feeling a wall behind you, you leaned into it. His hand went from your wrist to you hand, holding it gently, his thumb stroking little circles onto the back of it.

Soonyoung: You left so fast that I didn’t get the chance to tell her to keep her inappropriate remarks to herself.

Y/N: Oh? I could only see you smiling at her flirting.

He started to move closer to you, silently. His body touching yours and his free hand coming under your jaw, touching you very gentle, almost afraid to not break you because you were made out of porcelain.

Feeling his breath on your face, you knew he was really close to you and you swallowed hard.

You felt his nose touch yours, almost like trying to look for you and reach you. His hand that was holding your went slowly to your waist, grabbing you tight this time.

Soonyoung: You have no idea what you do to me, do you?

It was felt so intimate, his lips touching yours as he spoke. He was so fucking close and it drove you crazy.

Y/N: No, tell me.

Soonyoung: I felt so sad when I saw you leave. When I saw that pretty face so disappointed. Knowing I made you feel like that. I wanted to slap myself. Don’t even think for a second that I am interested in her.

Y/N: Why would I care about it?

Soonyoung: I know you like me, I can feel it.

Y/N: Who’s jumping to conclusions now?

Soonyoung: I can prove it to you

Y/N: You can prove me that I like you? How ridiculous.

And the next second he took your breath away. His hands felt rougher on you, his lips touching your slowly, in a teasing way. Becoming more and more passionate, deeper.

You let him take the lead and take whatever he wanted. He kissed sweetly the sides of your lips, then dragging his over yours painfully slow. You really wished the room to not be so dark, because you wanted to see him right now.

When you’re really into someone, you want to see them when you kiss. It’s almost like you don’t want to miss anything.

He started kissing you deeper, tongues playing against each other. Both of you moaning with desire. Your hands went to his chest. He pushed into you more, and you could feel he was rock hard under his pants.

His hands started roaming all over your body, from your neck down to your breasts, massaging them slowly, then down to your ass, grabbing it.

Y/N: Soonyoung (you moaned into his mouth)

Soonyoung: What, baby?

Y/N: Your makeup is going to be ruined.(you tried not to fall on your knees when he called you “baby”)

Soonyoung: Well, then I guess I’ll have to tell her that my girlfriend ruined it and she’ll feel stupid for flirting with me.

Y/N: You’re so bad. She’ll be so mad

Soonyoung: I could have her get fired for what she did

Y/N: So I’m your girlfriend now?

Soonyoung: Yeah. I don’t kiss girls that are not my girlfriend.

Y/N: But you didn’t ask me if I want to be your gf

Soonyoung: The way you kissed me back is a much better response than a “yes”

And he continued kissing you more, forgetting about the rehearsal.

Soonyoung: I could kiss you forever like this

Y/N: Soonie, we need to stop and get out of here. We have work to do and you need to be on stage soon. Listen to your girlfriend

You managed to get away from each other, finally. You went ahead, pushed your head out the door to see if the coast is clear and you told him to come out after he counts to 10.

Luckily, everyone was too busy with running around and nobody could see you both getting out of that room.

Your legs and hands were shaking after what just happened and you really needed to tell someone, or else you’d scream. Going into the room where your team had set up their laptops and personal things, you see Hana working on something and you sat beside her.

Hana: There you are, why don’t you answer your messages?

Y/N: I was…busy

Hana: Doing what?

You leaned into her ear to whisper

Y/N: Kissing

Jumping from her chair, she screamed “who?”

Y/N: Calm down, idiot! If you want to know, sit down and stop being so dramatic

Hana: Was it who I think it was?

Y/N: If you’re thinking Soonyoung, yes. I just needed to tell someone, I am still shaking

Hana: Omg, this is big

Y/N: And apparently we’re bf and gf now

Hana: Nooo fucking waaayyy. How do you feel?

Y/N: I still can’t process it, it feels surreal and I don’t know what to do with myself

Hana: You’re so in love

Y/N: Shut uuup!!

The day went on without big incidents. The boys had the final rehearsal with all the outfits and makeup on, they had photos taken, some interviews and a weverse live by Jun.

Everyone decided to stay indoor tonight, it was something they did before each concert, not wanting to tire themselves. So you didn’t bother Hoshi with texts or calls. But he wanted to be bothered, especially by his girlfriend.

It was close to 9 PM and he called you.

Soonyoung: Hi, girlfriend

Y/N: Oh, hi

Soonyoung: That’s how you greet your boyfriend? Rude!

Y/N: I… Hana’s here

Soonyoung: And you don’t want her to know how much you like me, got it

Y/N: What you doing, ready for bed?

Soonyoung: Yeah, but a little sad you’re not here.

Y/N: That would not be the best idea, you need to rest

Soonyoung: Are you saying we would not sleep if you were here?

Y/N: I don’t know, I’m not saying anything

Soonyoung: What if we agree to behave? Will you come and cuddle?

Y/N: Nope. Stop tempting me

Soonyoung: Damn, that’s disappointing. Will you cuddle me tomorrow night?

Y/N: Tomorrow night you will need even more rest after the concert, and then the next day you have rehearsals again for the next concert. Also, we should probably take this slow.

Soonyoung: But baby… I really love cuddling you and waking up next to you

Y/N: Stop calling me that(whining)

Soonyoung: You don’t like it?

Y/N: I like it. Too much. It does things to me and I’m not ready for it

Soonyoung: Can’t promise I won’t call you baby again, sorry. It just comes naturally

Y/N: You’re going to kill me

At this point, Hana was so curious that she made signals for you to put it on speaker, but you refused. She was waiting in the middle of the room, standing, with her arms on her hips, ready to scold you.

Y/N: You should sleep, ok? And we will see each other tomorrow at breakfast anyway

Soonyoung: I should listen to my girlfriend. Good night, baby, can’t wait to see your pretty face tomorrow

Y/N: Good night Soonie, muah!

Hana: Spill! Did he want you to sleep with him?

Y/N: Well, he asked to go cuddle

Hana: Why didn’t you?

Y/N: Uh, I don’t want to rush into sex

Hana: Then don’t do it, just cuddle

Y/N: Ha! Like it’s that easy to not fuck his brains out while lying next to him

Hana: Come on, how hard is it to keep it in your pants?

Y/N: I feel like it would be impossible for me. Right now, with him.

Hana: But…why don’t just do it if that’s what you feel?

Y/N: I just need to trust him more, maybe see more things coming from him, to prove to me that I can really trust him. I could just fuck him and have fun, but there are feelings involved and it changes everything.

Hana knew exactly what you meant, because thinking back few days ago, she did sleep with one of the dancers after they just met. And she had no feelings for him, it was just for fun.

Also, she knew your mind was probably filed with thoughts of insecurities, because Soonyoung was not a stranger, a guy you just met. You knew him for quite some time and you knew about his love life and that he had none recently, and he wasn’t obsessed with getting under girl’s skirts.

She knew you still had doubts when it came to men, but she also hoped you will get to heal from that and build something beautiful with Hoshi.

Laying in your bed, lights off, your eyes closed, you remembered all the nights you spent next to Mingyu in your bed, just as friends. You were attracted to him, of course, but not in love yet.

Now, you know for sure that only a kiss could make you go crazy and just jump Soonyoung. So no, spending the night in the same bed was not a good idea for now.

You didn’t set a date or a number of days on when sex is on the table, you just knew you wanted to wait and do it when it felt right. But you’ll talk to him about it and he’ll understand.

You found yourself shaking every time you saw him now. You didn’t know how to act around him anymore, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself.

At breakfast, you were sat next to Hana and Jun and when Hoshi arrived, he sat on the other side of the table, facing you.

He didn’t do anything to raise suspicion in front of the staff. Only you and Hana knew about your new relationship and you had no idea how to tell Jun.

But since he’s a person that is rather observant, he saw little signs that made him question your friendship with Hoshi.

Jun: What’s going on between you two? Why are you acting like this? You’re being weird

Hoshi leaned forward to whisper to Jun “We’re boyfriend and girlfriend now”(with the biggest grin on his face)

Jun’s eyes doubled in size, he coughed his coffee out and looked at you in shock

Jun: You are what? Bitch, what?

Y/N: Yeap, happened yesterday.

Jun: Wow! I’ll get back on you about this, I need a moment to gather my brain off the floor, because it exploded.

And he went quiet after that, continuing with his food and coffee. He didn’t want to talk about that there, but he will talk your ear off later tonight.

Seungcheol suddenly came to sit next to Hoshi

Seungcheol: It’s done, she’s out already, going back to Seoul today, and blacklisted for future companies.

Soonyoung: Great news. Thanks, Cheol

Jun: What happened?

Seungcheol: Right, I didn’t let everyone know yet. One of the makeup artists crossed the line with Hoshi and we fired her

You tried to stay composed, though you immediately looked at Soonyoung

Jun: What did she do?

Soonyoung: She first made some cringy remarks about my lips, then about my abs, to eventually ask me if I was busy that night and if I wanted to have some fun.

Jun: What the fuck, dude!

Soonyoung: Yeah, that’s what I said. And she was working with us for over one year. I guess she waited to take her shot, since yesterday was her first time doing my makeup.

Seungcheol: It’s all good, we will manage without her

Hoshi looked at you, pouting.

Soonyoung: I felt violated. Really.

Seungcheol hugged him, comforting him and letting the others know that any inappropriate behavior from the staff should not be tolerated.

You felt bad for Soonyoung, you know the feeling since all your life you had creepy men doing creepy things to you. Sometimes just strangers on the street yelling rude shit at you, or even touching you, or at the workplace with colleagues crossing the line.

Later in the day, before the show would start, you sent a text to Soonyoung to tell him you’re sorry about what happened and you understand how he feels and that you’re there for him.

He replied with “thanks, pretty. I’m so lucky to have you”

The concert was a success, like usual. They had a weverse life together after and ended up at the hotel after midnight. It’s then when Hoshi sent you a text, asking you to come to his room to talk for a bit before bed.

You knocked on his door with butterflies in your stomach, hoping you two will behave.

Opening the door, you found a pretty serious Soonyoung. He immediately hugged you tight as soon you entered his room.

Y/N: What’s wrong, Soonie?

Soonyoung: I need to talk to you about something. Let’s sit

You both sat on his bed and as he took both your hands into his, he looked at you with glassy eyes.

Y/N: You’re scaring me

Soonyoung: So, to make this as short as I can, we had a meeting with the managers and they decided it would be best for me to join Jeonghan in the military after the tour is over.

You became quiet, not knowing what to say. It was not your place to make decisions anyway.

Soonyoung: Say something

Y/N: I…don’t know what to say. Will you go now?

Soonyoung: I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go now, but I think it’s for the best of the team. I just need to know your thoughts too

Y/N: Of course I would not want you to go, but the group is more important and I trust that you will make the right decision.

Soonyoung: I don’t want to let you go now that I have you

He gave you a big pout and looked down at your hands holding his.

Soonyoung: I want to be with you

Y/N: But you are with me, you have me. I will wait for you, no matter what

Looking back at you, you could see a little smile forming

Soonyoung: Will you?

Y/N: Of course, don’t ever doubt that

Soonyoung: If I go now, it means in one month. We would only have one month

Y/N: Then we should take advantage of this month as much as we can. I don’t want you to hold back because of me. Just do what you feel is good for you and the team. I will be here waiting. And we’ll see each other whenever you get days off.

Soonyoung: Come here

He pulls you into his lap, holding you close. Taking you in, his face buried into your hair.

Soonyoung: Thank you for being so supportive

Y/N: Thank you for talking to me about it, it means a lot

Soonyoung: Can you kiss me now? Please?

You kissed him ever so gentle and slow. Putting into that kiss everything you felt for him, the happiness he brought into your life and the sadness of knowing he’ll be gone for more that one year.

But he pulled back after a few minutes, feeling overwhelmed with everything.

Y/N: I should let you rest.

Soonyoung: Ok. Thanks for everything, really

You gave him a sweet small kiss on his lips and told him good night, then you left to your room.

You cried a little when you told Hana about the news.

Hana: At least he told you about it and wanted to make a decision also based on your thoughts. I think it’s sweet.

Y/N: He’s the sweetest

Hana: What are you going to do, what are you thinking?

Y/N: I think I need to let down my walls and take advantage of these last weeks we have together and just show him how I feel.

You couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about him. You knew he will be leaving eventually, but now that it was actually happening, you felt your heart break.

This changes things. Wanting to put the sex on wait was not an option anymore. That’s why you decided you’ll spend the night with him after you finish with the shows in Milano and head to Berlin. You’ll have a couple of days off then.

Your mind was like scrambled eggs, happy that you had the man you loved, but sad that he’ll be gone soon for quite a while, often finding yourself spacing out.

Just like you were dong now, while on the plane to Berlin, sitting next to Jun who was telling you something.

Jun: Are you ok?

Y/N: I don’t think I am, Juni

Jun: Awww, my little tomato. Tell me what’s on your mind

Y/N: Promise you’ll keep it to yourself?

Jun: I promise

Y/N: Soonyoung will leave at the same time as Jeonghani for their enlistment. We talked and he asked what I think about it, and I said he should do what’s best for the group.

Jun: That’s… I’m sorry. I am guessing you will continue your relationship, right?

Y/N: Yeah, of course. I’m 100 percent in this, I want this with him. I hope he’s sure too.

Jun: Did he give you reasons to doubt?

Y/N: No, I guess not. But you know me. Men. Eh.

Jun: Ok, but let’s try and be optimistic. I am sure everything will turn out fine

Y/N: I will miss him so much. And Jeonghan too. I’m so glad you don’t need to go.

He took your hand into his and kept it like that, comforting you. From the seats in front of you, Hoshi’s head appeared, turning to you with a frown.

Soonyoung: Ya, what’s going on here? Why are you holding my girlfriend’s hand?

You started giggling, telling him you can hold your bro’s hand.

Soonyoung: Oh really? Let’s see you make it up to me this time.

Y/N: Oh, I will, Soonie (winking at him, then he turned around to sit)

First thing you did after arriving in Berlin was to look for a nice place to eat. Some of the guys wanted to try german food and they dragged you with them. Hana went to spend time with her dancer, so you were the only girl there.

But being only with the guys meant you didn’t need to hide your relationship from prying eyes of the staff.

A nice meal and a cold beer in great company was what you needed in that moment. And you could feel a tension in the air with the others. Was probably the exhaustion after these months of touring, stress, or who knows.

You saw Hoshi grabbing another bottle of beer and you needed him sober tonight, so you gently put your hand on his thigh and lean into his ear.

Y/N: Baby? Let’s not get drunk today, ok? I need you sober.

His face went red immediately at your words. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the pet name or the thoughts that went trough his head, wondering why you need him sober.

He looked at you, his mouth an o shape and eyes wide. Your hand on his thigh started to rub it up and down slowly and you smiled at him.

Soonyoung: I’m drinking water from now on. I’m a good boy and I listen to my girlfriend.

Then you placed a kiss on his cheek and brushed a strand of hair from his eyes.

Y/N: You have the prettiest eyes

Sooyoung felt loved. No other girl complimented his eyes before and he always said he wished they were bigger. But you made sure he knew he was perfect and everything about him is perfect.

He placed a kiss on your forehead and put his hand over yours that was placed on his thigh.

Seokmin: Ya, you two, cut it out. Some of us are single and you’re rubbing it in.

Jeonghan: Guys, I have something important to say

Everyone goes silent, since it’s Jeonghan.

Jeonghan: Me and Hoshingi have had a talk with the company and we decided that he’s going to enlist together with me, after this tour is over.

Dino: Hyung, you’re going too?

Soonyoung: Yeah, we’ve been thinking that it’s better for the group, and maybe we get to go in 3 waves so that we come back faster. So now it’s going to be Seungcheol, Jeonghan and me.

You see Mingyu looking at you with a pout, feeling sad for you. You can read on his lips “are you ok?” and you nod at him.

He knows better than anyone how hard was for you when Jungkook left to the military without a word, and now it’s like history repeats itself in a way. Memories from those times when he spent so many nights in your bed, cuddling you and whishing it was him you wanted, not his friend.

He feels a hole in his chest and tries to shake those memories away. No, he won’t go back to what he felt back then. Would be easy. You, alone again, crying after a man who left. No! Stop! Just stay out of her life, Kim Mingyu!

Mingyu never told you, but he still had feelings for you. It wasn’t like in Jungkook’s case. Jungkook had an obsession and he felt like he owned you and if he didn’t have you, no one should. That’s not love, he thinks.

But with Mingyu, he was happy if you were happy. He was always selfless like that, even though it hurt like hell. He just wants to be in your life, even if just as a friend.

He’s always going to be there for you.

Outside, rain started. It was like how everyone was feeling. Dino even cried, hugging Hoshi. He really loves his hyung like a real brother and he said he’s going to feel lost without him.

It was an emotional dinner but all you could think about was having Soonyoung on top of you, fucking you slowly. You tried all evening to behave and keep your hands to yourself, but you couldn’t wait any longer, so you whispered in his ear.

Y/N: Soonyoungie…please, I can’t take it anymore. Can we leave?

Soonyoungie: What is it, love? Are you not feeling well?

Y/N: Something like that. I’ve been trying to be good all evening.

Soonyoung finally realizes what you’re talking about and he raises to his feet, tells everyone he’s tired and needs to go. He takes your hand fast and walks to the door.

Soonyoung: The hotel is right over the corner

Y/N: We don’t have an umbrella

Soonyoung: Let’s run for it

Y/N: We’re going to get soaked

Soonyoung: It’s a hot summer rain, not acid. Come on!

He starts running, dragging you with him. Took less than 2 minutes to get lost. You see, Hoshi was not very good with directions. You stopped under a small pergola. Rain was really pouring.

Soonyoung: Wait, let me remember how we go from the hotel to the restaurant. I swear we took a right, then a left and we were there.

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him into you, kissing him. Both your faces soaked, water dropping from your hair. You could taste the rain on his lips.

The thing about him was that he never denied your kisses. He would always give into them. He would kiss you back always.

He pulled you impossibly close, all your clothes wet. The rain felt warm on your hot skin. Maybe you were too turned on.

You pulled away from him and ran into the rain. You knew the way back to the hotel, and he smiled when he realized.

The elevator ride was really tough. They had cameras in there and you didn’t wan to risk it, so you kept your distance.

But as soon as you both entered his room, nothing could stop you. You found yourself with your back pushed into the door, his body against yours. Both his hands on the sides of your head, caging you in.

Soonyoung: Now you’re mine, my beautiful girl

That sounded incredibly sexy to you, coming from him, and your knees almost gave out. You dragged your hands over his chest, moving them down, feeling his hard abs.

Y/N: I need this off

Soonyoung: Take everything you want off, then

You pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere into the room. Your eyes on his naked figure.

Y/N: God, you’re so sexy

Your hands flew to touch every inch of skin. You swear you could cum just from looking at his face and touching him like this.

Y/N: Kiss me. Touch me

He smashed his lips into yours again, his hands going to work on the buttons of your dress. He was being so slow.

Soonyoung: I need you. I want you so bad, you don’t understand

You moaned into his mouth, your hands going to his pants, pulling them down. Left only with his boxers on, the print of his hard cock was obvious under the soaked underwear.

He finished with the last button on your dress, now opened for his eyes. No bra and no panties. His eyes wide and mouth watering at the beautiful sight in front of him.

Soonyoung: Fuck, you’re going to kill me like this.

You took his hands that were almost too shy to touch your naked body and you put them on your breasts. He’s very gentle and in awe.

Soonyoung: You’re so perfect. Shit, baby. I want to taste every single inch of your body

He lifts you up and takes you to his bed. He sits you on the edge and starts to kiss you again. This kiss was filled with lust and passion. Moans and whimpers from both of you filling the room as his hands were traveling down your body until one reached your wet and needy pussy.

Soonyoung: How do you like to be touched here?

Y/N: Gentle and slow

Soonyoung: Fuck, I can’t believe you’re mine

As he’s saying that, his fingers start to run small circles on your clit, making you moan louder into his mouth.

Soonyoung: Love hearing you like this, all for me

Y/N: Soonyoungie

Then his fingers trail down to your hole, sinking one in.

Soonyoung: You’re so fucking wet

Y/N: God, that feels so good

Soonyoung: It’s just one finger and you’re squeezing it so tight

Your hand travels between your bodies and grabs his hard cock over his wet boxers.

Soonyoung: Fuck

Y/N: You’re so big(whispering into his lips). I want to feel it inside me. I need to feel you inside me right now

Soonyoung: But..

Y/N: Please, Soonie. Just a little

He couldn’t say no to you. Not when you were naked under him, putty in his hands, your eyes filled with want and love. Then he pulled his boxers down, to the floor and came closer, his hips between your legs, his leaking cock ready to push into your wet hole.

You pulled him into your lips, kissing him slow, whispering filthy words. Then you felt him sink into you slowly. You knew you didn’t need more, you felt it coming. You felt so much and so deep for him, that just an inch was enough to make you cum.

Your body started shaking, your head thrown back into the matress, moans and curses leaving your mouth, your pussy squeezing his cock so tight, he could barely move.

Y/N: God, Soonyoung! Don’t stop. So good

Soonyoung: Shit, you’re cuming already. Fuck! Fuck!

Y/N: More, please more

Multiple orgasms take over your body, as he’s pushing deeper. He’s doing it slow while holding you close and kissing you.

Soonyoung: That’s it, baby. Let go, I got you

He’s thinking you’re the most beautiful sight ever and this must be the most intense sex he’s ever had. It’s great for his ego to watch you cum so fast and hard under him.

As a helpless romantic, he keeps the pace slow, wanting to make love to you. Keeping your body close to his, his lips always on you, his eyes locked with yours.

He can feel your grip on him loosening up, so he stops to look at you and see how you’re feeling. You’re both breathing heavy, hearts racing. He can’t stop smiling.

Soonyoung: How you feeling, baby?

Y/N: Like I died and went to heaven. You?

Soonyoung: So good and happy

Your pussy is spasming around his cock after all those intense orgasms. It’s still pleasurable even like this, with him being still. He whines at the sensation.

Soonyoung: I could be inside you all day and all night if you’d let me. But I really need to worship your perfect body right now

He starts with little kisses all over your face, reaching to your mouth, kissing you slow and passionate. You feel his cock twitch inside you and you need more, so you try to move your nips under him and it gives you the desired friction.

But then he pulls out and continues his kisses down your jaw, your neck, your breasts. He takes his time there, rubbing his face on them, tracing his wet tongue all over. Stopping at the nipples to suck on them. You feel a ball of pleasure building up and you could cum if he’ll continue sucking on your tits like this.

Y/N: I love how gentle you are with me

His mouth travels south, to your tummy, hips, thighs. He loves to tease you. He knows you want his mouth devouring your pussy and he’s taking his time. Then you start to whine.

Y/N: Please…please

Soonyoung: What do you need, pretty girl?

Y/N: Your mouth. I need you to make me cum with your mouth

And he dives in, using his lips, tongue and fingers to pleasure you. The sounds you make are so filthy that he swears he will cum untouched.

You had this fantasy about his lips on your pussy, so you lift yourself on your elbows to watch what he’s doing. Oh, the sight. His pretty face with those pretty eyes on your, with those pretty lips sucking on your clit.

Y/N: Aaahh, you’re going to make me cum

Soonyoung: Cum for me, baby. Wanna make you feel good

And you feel that wave of pleasure all over your body, not being able to stop moaning his name. His deep sex voice did things to you. He sounds so pornographic

Y/N: If you don’t fuck me right now I’ll cry. I need you

He hovers over your spent body, his face right next to yours.

Soonyoung: Let me see you

And he’s pushing into you once more. The sensation so intense you feel another orgasm getting closer

Y/N: Oh my God, Soonyoung! You feel so good, don’t stop. Right there. Faster

Soonyoung: My baby wants it faster?

Y/N: Mhm mmmm

He’s fucking into you faster, still holding you close. His chest rubbing over your tits. He loves feeling your hard nipples on his bare pecs.

You look into his eyes and get an incredible need to tell him. It just feels so right. Just like you and him naked, making love feels so right.

You feel like you belong together and that you want to be his forever. So you say it. You don’t care anymore. Your brain might explode if you don’t tell him right now.

You cup his cheeks with your hands, trying to control your moaning so you can speak.

Y/N: Soonyoungie..

He’s going slower now, trying to focus on your words

Soonyoung: Yes, baby

Y/N: I love you so much. I need you to know

You feel him pacing up again, sloppy thrusts, brows furrowing, biting his lower lip. Then you feel him releasing deep inside you, moaning into your mouth “fuck, I love you Y/N. I love you so fucking much”

That triggered your orgasm and you came hard, squeezing and milking his cock from everything he had.

He kept on thrusting into you slower and slower, until both of you came down after your highs. Kissing you sweetly, praising you and telling you how good you feel. He kept his forehead glued to yours, his eyes not leaving yours.

You never made love like this, never had so much eye contact during sex. It felt like he was starring into your soul, like he could understand you, like he knew what your body needed.

You kept on kissing, him still being inside you. His hands trailed from your hips to your waist, your tits. Then he grabbed both your hands, intertwined his fingers with yours and pushed your arms over your head.

It all felt so intimate, so safe. You never felt like this.

When you needed air, he lifted his face off yours and smiled. You were both still panting, sweaty and you were sure your face was bright pink by now.

Soonyoung: What the fuck was that? Was that sex? Is this how it’s supposed to be?

You giggle and lift your face to give him a peck on the lips

Y/N: I have no words, Soonie. It just felt so good

Soonyoung: Can say that again. And we just started. Can you imagine how it’s going to be after a few weeks? Months? Shit!

Y/N: I think I can imagine how it’s going to be when you’re in the military. We’re going to fuck like two lunatics when we’re finally going to meet on your free days.

Soonyoung: Please, don’t remind me, I might cry. I’ll miss you so much. I’ll be horny all the time, waiting for the day when I get to touch you

Y/N: That sounds kinda hot, actually

Soonyoung: We should clean up

Y/N: Does that mean you’re going to pull that perfect cock out of me?

Soonyoung: Aww. You think it’s perfect?

Y/N: Yah hah. And it’s mine now

Soonyoung: You’re so cute

He lifts his body up, pulling out slowly. You watch his every move and you feel like you wanna fuck him again. Seeing his perfectly sculpted body, covered in sweat, those puffy lips, those veins under his abs that travel down to his semi hard cock. He looks good to eat.

He stops for a while to admire his work and watch his cum dripping out of your pussy. He feels hypnotised, he never thought this will turn him on this much.

Soonyoung: Let’s get in the shower, I don’t think we are done here.

He takes your hand and guides you to the bathroom, turns the shower on and gets back to kissing you until the water gets warm.

You feel more of his cum running down your thighs and you want to be filled by him again.

With one quick move, he turns you around, facing the mirror, and he’s pushing you forward until you touch the sink with your hips. You can feel his cock hard again, rubbing on your bare ass.

His hands go straight to your breasts, playing with them. His eyes again on yours, watching you trough the mirror in front of you.

Small whimpers coming out of your mouth while you’re biting your lip. He starts licking, biting and kissing your shoulder and neck, making your hips move against him, rubbing your ass on his length.

Y/N: I want you

Soonyoung: Like this?

Y/N: Yes

Soonyoung: What a dirty girl you are, wanting to watch yourself getting fucked

Then you feel him slide into your soaked pussy from behind. He pushed just the tip, not wanting to give you all so easily

Y/N: More, please!

Soonyoung: Beg for it

Y/N: Don’t do this

Soonyoung: Let me hear you beg

Y/N: My God, baby! Please! Please fuck me deeper! I need to feel you deep

Soonyoung: And why is that? Why do you need me so bad?

Y/N: You make me feel so good(and he’s pushing a little deeper). Fuck!

Soonyoung: What else?

Y/N: I…I love you(now he’s all the way in). Mmmyeessss

He puts one hand around your neck, chocking you, the other on your tits. His mouth all over your ear, licking it and whispering into it

Soonoung: Look at us. Look how sexy you are like this, begging for my cock. Being such a good girl for me

A few more more thrusts and he pulls out, stepping into the shower

Y/N: Soonieeee, why?

Soonyoung: Come here, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you in every single spot in this apartment

He takes the shower gel and pours some on your body, spreading it all over slowly. His hands massaging your tits drives you crazy. So you go to his cock, grabbing it with both hands, rubbing up and down, making him moan.

In seconds, you’re on your knees in front of him and his eyes are about to pop out.

He’s never seen such a pretty view, his hand going to brush some strands of hair from your face, then rubbing his thumb on your cheek lovingly.

Soonyoung: You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?

You flash a cheeky smile, raising your hand to grab his fat cock, stroking it right in front on your face.

Your mouth incredibly close to the tip.

Y/N: I always loved these veins on your abs. So fucking sexy

Soonyoung: Have you been thirsting over my abs?

Y/N: Couldn’t help it

Soonyoung: Take whatever you want, baby. I’m all yours. Ruin me

You start dragging your tongue from his balls to the tip of his cock, then licking the head, tasting the precum that started dripping down.

He’s already gone, and when you sink your mouth on his length, he needs to hold on to something.

Your moans around his cock don’t help his state, or your hungry eyes that are locked on his. You just love to watch him lose himself because of you.

He never thought his balls getting sucked into your mouth entirely would turn him on so much. You decided you wanted to edge him before deciding what to do with him next. Let him cum in your mouth or deny him? Let him beg? Have him fuck you? So many possibilities.

Y/N: Baby wants to cum?

Soonyoung: YYY…yeees

He can see your eyes sparkle, like you’re plotting something. And he was right. You’re spending the next minutes edging him and making him beg for release.

And you suck him off until he cums into your mouth only after you’re pleased. Bobbing your head back and forth, spiting on his cock, working what you can’t get into your mouth with your hand.

You feel him releasing deep down your throat, moaning and whimpering.

Y/N: Mmm, my good boy

Soonyoung: Fuck, that was so hot

He helps you get up and you actually end up showering this time. You fucked one more time when you went to bed, while you were trying to sleep. You were both too in love and into each other to keep it together. You just wanted him all the time.

You fell asleep in his arms. You could feel all night little kisses all over your bare skin, whenever he would move a bit. And you returned them.

When you woke up in the morning you were still glued to each other. After that night, you ended up sleeping in his bed almost every night until the end of the tour.

At the same time, something strange started to happen since then. You started receiving texts from unknown numbers, but they all seemed to be from the same person.

At first you thought it was Jungkook, because why not. He did this shit before. And in a moment of rage you called him.

Y/N: I swear to God, Jungkook, if you’re involved in this I’m not going to let it go this time.

Jungkook: What are you talking about? What did I do?

Y/N: Are you the creep who’s sending me weird texts?

Jungkook: Am not, but this sounds serious. I’m not that type of person anymore. What does he want? I’m guessing it’s a he?

Y/N: I think it’s a he. He keeps rambling about me being a bitch for getting into another relationship and how me and him belong together. And how he’s going to ruin my relationship and I will realise that he’s the one for me, not some k pop boy.

Jungkook: Ok, so then we could presume he’s not a k pop boy then.

Y/N: Right. But the thing is I have no idea about other guys liking me

Jungkook: Oh, honey. I bet there are dozens out there that are into you

Y/N: What do you know?

Jungkook: I am a guy, I have eyes and ears, I know, trust me. When we were together and even after, there were many situations where guys would ask about you.

Y/N: Oh.

Jungkook: Anyway, you’re in a relationship?

Y/N: Yeah

Jungkook: Congratulations, he is a lucky guy. Is it Hoshi?

Y/N: Yes, it’s him

Jungkook: Yeah, figured. The way you were looking at each other gave it away

Y/N: I’m sorry if it’s uncomfortable for you. We don’t need to talk about it

Jungkook: Nah, it’s fine. I’m really happy for you. In the end it was only natural for you to find an actual kind person, and not a jerk

Y/N: Thanks, Kook

Jungkook: Sooo, maybe talk to Mingyu about this stalker. He might know how to help.

Y/N: Thanks, I think I will.

Tour has ended and you were back in Seoul. It was good to be home, but you hoped the tour to last some more, because the end of it means your boyfriend’s enlistment.

They decided after Jeonghan’s birthday, so you had a couple of weeks left.

Things got back to normal at the office. You even got a raise and a promise for promotion in the next year or so, after one more big project.

You wanted to tell the guys what has been going on with your stalker, so you asked Hoshi to gather Jun, Mingyu, Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua at his place.

All he knew about this was that you were getting weird messages here and there, but you tried not to sound to worried, because he had the tour on his mind.

It was a Friday and you just got home from work. Later in the evening Hana will pick you up to go to Hoshi’s apartment complex.

Reaching the door to your own apartment, you found an envelope pushed under it. You found it weird that anyone would enter your building and leave something at your door.

You had security downstairs and nobody was allowed to go up without your knowledge. So before touching the envelope, you went back down to speak with the guys from security.

They said nobody came to leave anything for you or even ask for you that day.

Watching a lot of crime shows, you were very careful with this. So you asked one of the guards to come with you upstairs and check to see if your apartment is safe, and help you open the envelope.

Reaching your door again, you open it carefully, the guard goes inside and check all the rooms and closets. At least nobody’s there.

You put a pair of plastic gloves on and open the envelope. It was a letter inside, written by hand in Korean. You didn’t recognise the writing but you knew immediately it was from the stalker. Inside the envelope there were also a few photos of you.

You looked closely at them and you noticed that they were taken in different cities you went with the SVT tour.

Well shit, this guy knows where I live.

You thank the guard and tell him he can go back downstairs. You immediately called Hoshi. He didn’t answer. You knew he was working. Then tried Jun. then Mingyu. Nothing. Left a text with Jeonghan. I’ll call Hana then.

Y/N: Girl, I’m fucking scared.

Hana: Oh no. What happened?

Y/N: The stalker knows where I live. I found a letter with photos from the tour, right under my door.

Hana: No fucking way! I’ll fucking kill this guy!

Y/N: I tried reaching the guys but they are at work right now. I don’t know what to do. Should I call the police?

Hana: Let’s try to calm down first. What does the letter say?

Y/N: He continues with threats. Saying that I will pay for being with another man that’s not him, that I have been a slut for k pop boys, that he’s a real man. And I think he was the one that attacked me that night in front of my building.

Hana: Fuck! You’re right, it could have been him. I am stuck at the bank right now. Let me call Jaehyun

You go back to the door and make sure again it’s closed. You walk to every window and look down into the street, even though you live at 15th floor and could not notice if anyone acts suspicious.

Then Hana calls

Hana: Wife, you should try and reach Jungkook or Eunwoo, they should be free right now and maybe one of them can come and spend some time with you before I get there, ok?

Y/N: Oh, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Jungkook in my house? While I have a boyfriend? Hoshi would flip. And me and Eunwoo are not that close.

Hana: Oh, shut up. Both of them would help you if you asked. We are all in the same group of friends, we need to help each other. And Hoshi will understand. You have no one else to call, anyway and you’re scared. Please!

Y/N: Ok, I’ll call Jungkook

Before calling him, you feel another wave of anxiety and you wonder if the guard looked carefully all over the apartment. Now you’re going crazy, grabbing a knife from the kitchen and going trough each room and little corner where a person could hide.

Only after you’re sure the guy could crawl and hide into the tv, you can relax. So you call Jungkook.

Jungkook: Hey, what’s up?

Y/N: Did Jaehyung tell you anything?

Jungkook: No, about what?

Y/N: Well, you remember the stalker and the texts? He knows where I live, he left a letter under my door today and I’m fucking scared. Everyone is busy or at work and…

Jungkook: I’m coming, leaving right now. Is it safe to stay there since he knows where you live?

Y/N: I don’t know, I can’t think straight right now.

Jungkook: Ok, I’m staying on the phone with you until I get there. Everything’s going to be ok. Just don’t open the door to anyone, don’t go out, and you’ll be safe.

Y/N: Ok..

You got so emotional that you started crying. You tried to keep it in and not let him notice, but he knew you to well.

Still, he didn’t say anything about it. He knew you were not a person who cries easily or panics, so what he needed to do now was to change the subject into something more positive.

Jungkook: So how was being on tour with SVT?

Y/N: It was great, felt like vacation sometimes(trying to speak between sobs)

Jungkook: Good, good. We’re going to go on tour soon also. I can’t wait, it’s been a while for us as a group.

Y/N: Kook?

Jungkook: Yeah?

Y/N: Someone is knocking on my door.

Jungkook: Don’t answer and keep quiet.

Y/N: My interphone screen doesn’t work

Jungkook: You still have the peep hole

Y/N: I’m scared to get close to the door

Jungkook: Nothing is going to happen, you’re safe in there. He can’t break the door

Y/N: Ok, I’m gong to look. Shit, more knocking. Persistent

Jungkook: Well? What do you see?

Y/N: Fuck! I think it’s the guy. He’s wearing a delivery guy uniform and a mask. Can’t see the face. Has a paper bag in his arms. He won’t leave

Jungkook: 5 minutes and I’m in front of your building

Y/N: Hurry. Please

Jungkook: Breathe, ok? I’ll be there. Nothing’s going to happen to you

You run back to your kitchen, hiding after the kitchen island, holding the knife. The guy started to hit the door with his feet right now, really hard.

Y/N: Shit shit

Jungkook: What?

Y/N: He’s hitting the door with his feet and pushing himself into it

Jungkook: Call the security

Y/N: That means I have to hang up with you and that terrifies me more

Jungkook: Fuck! I’m going to break his legs. I’m here. I’ll take the elevator to the 14th, then tale the stairs to 15th so he can’t hear and run

Y/N: Please be careful, he might be armed

Jungkook: I’ll ask one of the guards to come with me, don’t worry. I’m hanging up now

After 2 minutes you hear loud noises outside, even screams. You go to look trough the hole and you Jungkook trying to keep the guy on the floor, punching him.

In seconds, everything goes to shit, because you see the stalker getting up and running, while Jungkook holds his hands close to him and the guard is running after the guy.

Right then, you open the door to check on Jungkook and you see he’s bleeding.

Y/N: Omg, Kook! Where are you hurt?

Jungkook: Just my hand, he took out a knife and I managed to take it from him before he stabbed me.

Y/N: Shit! Come inside, let’s stop the bleeding and we’re going to the hospital

You two get inside and you bring the first aid kit, try to clean his cut and tie some bandages over it, putting pressure.

Then you left to the closest hospital, taking his car.

Y/N: I can’t believe he wanted to stab you. I’ll kill him with my own hands

Jungkook: Didn’t know you like me this much to kill for me

Y/N: Not funny, Kook. You could have been dead because of me

Jungkook: It’s not your fault and I just got a cut. What you should worry about is that the creep has a knife on him and he wanted to use it on you. Also, he escaped and he will come back to finish his job. We need to find you a new place.

Y/N: You can be sure I am not spending one single night in that apartment again.

Jungkook left messages on the 97’s group chat, telling them what happened. At the hospital, they took care of him right away when they saw who he was. He didn’t let you stay two feet away from him.

He asked the hospital staff to call the police, since this was an attack, and you both would place charges.

It took a couple of hours and you told Hana to come pick you up from there. As you were still talking to the cops, your phone was going crazy. Calls and texts, probably Mingyu saw the messages in the group and told everyone.

You needed to answer to Hoshi’s call, so you excused yourself for a minute.

Y/N: Hiii

Soonyoung: Omg, are you ok? Where are you, I’m coming to get you

Y/N: I’m ok, nothing happened to me. We’re at the hospital now with the police. Hana’s coming to get me and we’re coming to yours.

Soonyoung: Are you still with Jungkook there?

Y/N: Yes, he’s here too. He got injured.

Soonyoung: Oh.

Y/N: Don’t worry, ok? In 15 minutes I’m heading to your place and we talk there. Gotta go, Soonie

Soonyoung: Please be careful and call me immediately if something happens

You say goodbye to Jungkook and promise to keep in touch, the you leave. When you see Hana, she’s running to you crying.

Hana: Omg, pookie! I got so scared

She’s hugging you, leaving you without air.

Hana: Let’s get you to your man. He kept on insisting to come get you himself but if would have taken too much time.

Y/N: Awww, poor Soonie

Hana: Yeah, he even cried on the phone after he found out from Mingyu

Y/N: Let’s go, I need to get out of this place

Arriving at Hoshi’s place you were finally feeling safe, after so many hours.

He opened the door and you jumped in his arms, crying. It took him a few minutes to hold and comfort you until you relaxed.

Y/N: I was so scared. I felt like I had no one to call. I felt so lonely. I’m sorry for calling Jungkook

Soonyoung: Baby..I’m not mad about that. I’m happy he got there in time and that nothing worse happened. I can’t believe you went trough this, I’m so sorry

Y/N: It was awful

Soonyoung: You’re staying with me for a while, ok?

Y/N: But..

Soonyoung: No buts, I will be leaving in 2 weeks anyway, so why not spend as much time as we can together. And you’ll be safe here, it’s a very closed off complex and well guarded.

Y/N: I would love to stay with you

Mingyu: I made some relaxing tea, drink some. Are you hungry?

Y/N: Yeah, starving

Jeonghan comes and hold your hand, a sad look on his face.

Jeonghan: I’m sorry we’re leaving now when you’re going trough this

Seungcheol: Don’t worry, Han, I will still be around, and the members

Soonyoung: Yeah, but the one who should be here for her the most is leaving

Jeonghan: Me?(resting his head on your shoulder, leaning into you)

Mingyu: Idiot! Don’t worry guys, we will all be here for her. First things first, I will take it upon myself to find you a new place to move into.

Soonyoung: Why? Can’t she stay here all the time I am gone? The place will be empty and she won’t need to waste money on rent. I would feel so much better if you’d stay here, baby

Y/N: I’ll think about it and we’ll talk another time.

Seungcheol: What did you want to talk about with us?

Y/N: Well the creep from today is harassing me for weeks. He keeps on sending texts with threats. It happened since Berlin. I thought he will stop when we get back home, but it seems he knows now where I live. Today I found a letter from him along with photos he took of me while on tour.

Mingyu: Shit! Why didn’t you say anything before?

Y/N: Didn’t want to bother you while on tour, you needed to focus on that.

Soonyoung: So it’s worse than I thought.

Joshua: No shit, he wanted to kill her today, dummy

Soonyoung: Don’t say that, Shua! I’ll die if something happens to my baby

Mingyu: How do we catch the guy?

Jeonghan: How would we know? Let the police handle it

Mingyu: Yeah, but maybe we can find out things. How much do you think the police will do?

Joshua: They should, because now Jungkook is involved, and it’s serious. The company will intervene, lawyers

Y/N: I agree, we should let the police handle it. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt

Soonyoung is on your left, holding your left hand, kissing your head, while Jeonghan is on your right, holding your right hand. Mingyu is bringing the tea cup to your lips so you can drink. You feel overwhelmed

Y/N: Guys, please, let’s all calm down and I’ll drink my tea myself. Thanks, Gyu. And thank you all for being here for me, it means a lot

Seungcheol: Let’s give her some space, everyone. Gyu, I’ll help with the food

Y/N: How am I going to get my stuff from my place? And why isn’t Juni here?

Hana: I’ll go get a suitcase with things you’ll need today and tomorrow we can go together and get everything

Jeonghan: Jun is on his way, he wanted to bring you some special soup to make you feel better and I guess it takes some time

Y/N: He’s the best

Soonyoung: Yaaa, right in front of your boyfriend?

Jeonghan: What about me?

Y/N: You are all the best, ok?

After some time, Jun arrived and he got your favourite soup. He always knows how to make things better. You all sat to eat, some had a few glasses.

Hana: Who’s coming with me to Y/N’s place to get some stuff? Preferably two guys

Mingyu: I’ll go. Cheol?

Seungcheol: Ok, let’s go. That creep should count his minutes if I find him lurking around there.

Soonyoung: Guys, but when you get back you’ll all go home, right? I’m tired being the host for today

Y/N: Soonie, don’t be rude

Mingyu: It’s fine, that’s how he is when he has guests. That’s why he left the dorm to live alone. He likes his peace

Soonyoung: It’s enough socializing when I work, at home I can finally be myself and recharge

Jeonghan: I completely agree. And this is me, leaving home too. Two hours is enough for me. Call me if you need me, kids

Y/N: Yes, dad. Thank you(he places a little kiss on your head) and goes for the door

Joshua: Hold up, I’m coming with you. Bye guys, and keep in touch, stay safe

Jun: Now I feel awkward being the only one left.

Soonyoung: Moon Junhui, don’t feel awkward

Y/N: I might leave you two for a while, I kind of need a shower

Soonyoung: Oh! Let me run a bath for you and we will let you relax. Just wait here

He went immediately to prepare your bath, leaving you alone with Jun.

Jun: How are you, after everything?

Y/N: I don’t think my brain fully understands the danger I am in right now. It’s like it’s protecting me from going insane

Jun: That’s a good strategy. But. Please never be alone on the street again

Y/N: How do I do that, though? Everyone had a life, can’t have people glued to me 24/7

Jun: Actually, you can. We’re getting you a bodyguard until the scumbag is caught. And we will make sure he gets caught

Y/N: That sounds so.. fancy. I am not some celebrity, Juni

Jun: Shut up. You’re important to me. To Hoshi, to Hana, to the others. Just accept tge help this time

Y/N: Ok, but only because I’m really scared for my life

After 15 minutes, you hear your boyfriend calling for you that the bath is ready. He made sure to put all types of oils inside the water. It smelled really good and you just wanted to sink into that warm bath and not think.

Soonyoung: Want my help with your clothes?

Y/N: Would be nice, thanks

You let him take your clothes off slowly. He was so gentle, all the love he had for you emanating from his eyes. After you were completely naked, he gave you a warm hug, telling you how much he loved you., then left you alone.

You lowered yourself in the tub and let the feeling take over. His bathroom had big windows and you sat there, looking over the city. Just the light from a few scented candles surrounding you, and some slow relaxing music in the background.

Somehow, you thought that hearing your boyfriend and your friend watch a movie would be more relaxing. It was because not hearing them gave you a little anxiety, feeling lonely.

Yeah, it was because of the events from today, not wanting to be alone in a room. You knew the creep wouldn’t be able to climb Hoshi’s building to find you in his bathroom, but still.

You wondered where he could be, what could he be doing right now. Planning his next move? Planning how to murder you? If it was so easy for him to get into your building, wouldn’t it be easy to get into this complex too?

And it would be easy for him to find out where you are, he could easily follow you from work. You have no idea how he looks like, he could be any guy on the street, on the subway, in the supermarket.

You decide that this is not relaxing you and after 10 minutes you wash yourself, put fresh clothes that Hoshi brough for you from his closet, brush your teeth, clean your face and get back into the living room.

Soonyoung opens his arms for you, patting the couch for you to lay between them. You really feel safe like this, you think. You don’t want to think what you’re going to do after he enlists.

You felt like home with his arms wrapped around you. Felt so good that you feel asleep pretty fast. You were exhausted after today.

At some point you heard voices, and you don’t know how you ended up in bed. You were too sleepy to open your eyes, but you felt your boyfriend next to you, facing you, his hand over your waist.

Since he was few inches away, you needed to feel him so you dragged yourself next to his body. It felt warm and good. You put your right hand under your head and the left one stroking his face and hair.

But it wasn’t close enough. You pouted and whined and moved so that your forehead touched his, your nose touched his. Your left leg went over his hip, pulling him into you.

After a few seconds you whined again. No, this won’t do either. You gave him lazy sleepy little kisses all over his face. Now he’s whining, trying to whisper something

Soonyoung: What is it, love? Can’t sleep?

Y/N: No, I felt like loving you

Soonyoung: Feels nice

Y/N: You’re so cute, I think I might eat your cute little nose

Soonyoung: Nooo, I need it

As you were being silly and sleepy, things started to heat up as you were now kissing his lips too. Because one little kiss leads to more little kisses, that lead to bigger kisses, and deeper kisses, and needy kisses.

The kissing lead to touching, groping, rubbing. You needed to feel his naked body net to yours. Both your clothes were gone in a heartbeat.

It was something very intimate about laying facing each other on your sides, naked, making out. It felt like time has stopped and you have no care in the world.

The sleepiness was long gone, the only sensation you were feeling now was love. It was not always about sex, you sometimes had moments when you were in this same context, making out, naked, but no orgasms or penetration involved.

It just felt so satisfying to both of you to show your love like this. Two freaks for physical touch.

But tonight you wanted to feel him deep inside you, to hear his moans into your ear, to watch his orgasm face as he spilled his cum into you. You wanted everything.

So you moved your hand between your bodies to grab his hard cock, stroking it slowly. Didn’t take long for him to be a mess.

Soonyoung: Baby….I want you so bad. Please let me feel you around my cock

You position the tip right on your entrance and let him push inside. You were already so wet from all that foreplay that the stretch didn’t hurt that much.

Y/N: Oh fuck

Soonyoung: Does it hurt?

Y/N: It always hurts at first, Soonie. Your cock is so fucking fat

Soonyoung: God, don’t say that, I might explode right now

Y/N: Please fuck me. Fuck me and don’t let me go

Soonyoung: I won’t, my love. I’ll fuck you like this until we both cum

He continued to fuck into you, alternating the speed. He loved fucking you slow, he could concentrate better like that. One of his hands went around your throat, chocking you. He knows it drives you crazy.

You kept one hand on his chest, scratching at it and the other in his hair, pulling on it. Sloppy kisses, deep wet thrusts, dirty words and moans could be heard around the room.

Y/N: Shit, you feel so good. You’re going to make me cum soon

Soonyoung: Wanna feel you cum around my cock

Few thrusts later and you started shaking in his arms, your walls squeezing his cock impossibly hard, triggering his own release.

Y/N: Oh my God, that was so good. I needed that

Soonyoung: I love you

Y/N: I love you

The next few days were crazy. Jun and Soonyoung hired you a bodyguard who would follow you at all times while you were outside. He would escort you from Hoshi’s apartment door to work and back home, he would go with you shopping and anywhere else you had to be.

It felt a bit weird but you felt safe. You kept in touch with Jungkook and with the detectives working on this case. They managed to find out who the creep was and where he lived and worked.

It seems that he’s a photographer, working for a well known magazine in Seoul. They looked for him at his apartment but he was not there, they even broke his door down.

The guy just vanished. Then they looked with anyone he could have connections with, but found out he had no friends and his family didn’t want to hear from him.

Now, this is a bad sign. The stalker must be really angry right now since the police is onto him and he can’t even go home or to work. That means no money and no place to sleep.

He might have a car, so he could sleep in it, or use his savings to sleep in cheap rooms. But now, more than ever he would want to hurt you. He probably blames you for ruining his life.

Soonyoung has been extra busy, filming stuff in advance that the company could use while he’s gone. But at least you were spending every night together and it brought a little bit of comfort.

One afternoon while you found yourself at the police station, together with Jungkook and his lawyers, your boyfriend calls you.

Y/N: Yeah, Soonie

Soonyoung: I finished work early today, can we order some food? I’m on my way home

Y/N: Oh, I’m not home though. I’m at the police station again

Soonyoung: Oh. You need me there? I can be there in 30

Then he hears Jungkook’s voice, calling for you, telling you to hurry the phonecall. This pissed off Hoshi a lot.

Soonyoung: Ya, why is Jungkook telling you to end our call? Why is he there again with you?

Y/N: No no no, don’t get upset now. He doesn’t know I’m talking to you. And we both needed to be here with the lawyers, to speed things up. I’ll be home soon.

Soonyoung: Don’t take his side

Y/N: I’m not, just explaining why we’re here and that you there’s no reason to worry about him. We’ve talked about this

Soonyoung: You know what? I’m coming there to take you home myself

Y/N: I don’t want to argue with you, so I’ll let you do that. I need to get back to the others, I’ll be done until you get here.

When you finished the meeting and got out of the room, you find a very sulky Soonyoung waiting in the hallway. He quickly comes towards you when he sees you, with an apologetic look on his face.

Jungkook: Oh, hyung, you’re here

Soonyoung: And you’re here. With my girlfriend. Again(trying to wrap it in a joke)

Jungkook: You have nothing to worry about, though. She is crazy for you

Soonyoung: Really now?

Jungkook: You’re all she talks about

Y/N: Guuuys, I’m right here

Jungkook: Well I’ll be going now, have to stop by the company

As soon as you got into Hoshi’s car, he started to apologize about his fit earlier, telling you that he trusts you, but not Jungkook. Because he knows how men can be and he has eyes and obviously, you’re the most beautiful creature ever.

You two drove home and he had to order your favourite food and spoil you. He played one of your favourite movies and prepared a bath for both of you.

As you were laying there in the bathtub, him holding you from behind, you started to become emotional. You told him to hold you tighter and talked about how much you will miss each other.

Many times he would say that he won’t enlist anymore, that he’ll wait another year. It was very conflicting in his mind, he wished everything was easier. He always wanted to go to the military and see what’s that about, but now he finds it really hard to wish for it.

He tells you he wants you to be there along with his family when he goes. Maybe you’ll be able to go undercover as a company staff. That also means you’ll meet his parents and it makes you nervous.

Soonyoung: But my parents know about you

Y/N: What?

Soonyoung: We don’t have secrets, they know everything

Y/N: How do they feel about our relationship?

Soonyoung: They are happy if I’m happy. I’m the pride of the family, you forgot?

Y/N: Silly

Soonyoung: I do want you to meet them before I leave, though. Wanna come with me to visit them next week?

Y/N: Are you sure? Do they know?

Soonyoung: Of course

After relaxing some more in the warm water, you washed each other’s hair and helped drying it, then got into bed. Like usual, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other and you had a steamy session of love making that left both of you spent.

You couldn’t help to overthink things this time. How will it go with his family, how are you going to keep the relationship while you’re not together physically, is he going to get bored? You know that saying, out of sight out of mind.

He’s a pretty emotional person, what if he will get over you as fast as he fell in love? You can’t actually know what he’s feeling, how strong or genuine his feelings are.

He told you that he never took a girl home to meet his family and you wondered why. You didn’t bother him with questions like that about his ex. You just knew it was a shit show and he was not comfortable talking about it.

You wondered why you’re doing this to yourself, why so much overthinking and doubting. Why are us all doing this to ourselves? And why can’t people just be honest, loyal and not assholes?

Not that Soonyoung was one. He was a sweetheart so far.

A week later and just a few days before his enlistment. You already met his parents and sister and it actually went pretty good. You felt welcomed and heard. They treated you as their own daughter.

You loved the dynamic between them, a little teasing between siblings. But all that showed how much they cared for each other.

Sometimes you wished you lived that with your own family. But eh, not everyone is meant to be a parent. You accepted that long time ago. That’s why you put so much into your relationships with people around you.

You make sure that the ones that deserve all the love, receive it.

The last few days together went on really fast. He was gone most of the day, shooting in advance. Each time the group was having nights out, you were there too. He wanted to make the most of the time left, spending it with everyone he loved.

His enlistment ceremony was hard. His family and the members were there. And you, as an undercover staff sent by the company.

You said you goodbyes and there he went, holding Jeonghan’s hand. At least they’ll have each other and you’re a little less worried.

The boys wanted to cheer you up and took you to lunch to a nice barbeque place. it was hard to hold your tears all day.

Jun: Come on, bestie, things are going to be ok. He’s going to get back in no time

Dino: And you’re still going to chat every day and meet from time to time

Y/N: That’s true, but still

Mingyu: Let’s put some food in you and you’ll feel better

Mingyu knew you and knew that food always helped. He wasn’t sure which one was the bigger foodie, you or Hoshi. He thought how lucky his friend was for having you and how sad he still felt for loosing you.

No, he was not going to steal you now that it was the same context. Boyfriend gone to the army, you alone. What type of lowlife would he be this time…

2 days after you receive a phone call from Jungkook.

Jungkook: Yaaa, they caught the creep

Y/N: Seriously? Are we sure it’s him?

Jungkook: Yes, 100%. And he’s going to be behind bars for a long time. We’ll be needed at the station tomorrow.

Y/N: That’s fine, I’ll make time for this, I want that son of a bitch locked away. This has been a nightmare, could barely sleep at night.

Arriving at the police station the next day, you meet Jungkook in the parking lot and you go inside the building together. You meet with the lawyers and the detectives that lead you into a room.

They say you’ll be able to see the suspect behind a protective window. And when you move your eyes to his face you’re left stunned.

Y/N: It’s that fucking photographer

Jungkook: You know him? What photographer?

Y/N: When I was in Paris at this fashion show, he came to me and Hana and said he recognised me. Turns out he was the one who took the photos of me and Mingyu in our vacation in Italy(turning to Jungkook to give him a nasty look)

Jungkook: Oh! I had no idea who the photographer was. All I did was talk to a friend and she found the guy and talked to him and paid him. I never saw him.

Y/N: Anyway, we’ll talk about this later. But yeah, it’s him. This is crazy

This was big, now you could finally feel relieved. The crazy stalker was behind bars and you can walk around in peace. Only if your boyfriend was here to share the excitement with and give him a big hug.

One year and a half went fast. You kept in touch, texting every night before bed. He would be spent after the intense training and duties. He would talk about how nice people were to him and how many friends he made.

You would tell him stories from work and the times you would spend with the members, going at their shows, going out with them and so on.

He was trilled to know that you would visit his parents from time to time and formed a really nice relationship with them. His sister would joke that they should swap and have you as a sibling instead of Soonyoung.

Your outings with the ’97 crew got back to normal. Jungkook became…a friend? He was not like Jun, but you would talk sometimes. Hana was the happiest that the group reunited and everyone was getting along again.

Sometimes, Mingyu would give off a weird vibe but you could never get him to talk about what bothers him. Whenever you’d bring up Hoshi, he would try to change the subject, but at the same time he was very supportive of your relationship.

You also knew that he was seeing someone, a girl from a group. He didn’t want to disclose her identity and the guys were bullying him for it.

The thing with him was that he was still thinking about you and no matter how hard he tried to date others and fall in love, he couldn’t. He didn’t know why or how to get you out of his head.

And now, he hoped that this new girl was closer to what “perfect for him” was. He couldn’t avoid comparing her to you. He thought that everything you did or said was perfect, that you were just perfect.

He really tried to love other women but he was settling. For how long, he didn’t know. And you had no idea he was going trough all of this. Even if you knew, how would you help him?

Your worries now were about your future with your boyfriend, because you didn’t know how things will change when he gets back home in a few days. You grew to feel like home at his place and you felt safe there and closer to him.

There was no conversation about what you two will do after his military service and it kind of made you anxious.

It was almost Christmas and you couldn’t wait to spend the holidays with Hoshi and cuddle him every night. His discharge was quick, the members were there, except Wonwoo and Woozi who enlisted recently after their last comeback in September.

The plan was for everyone, including members and his family to get together at the company for a little welcome home dinner-party. Since Soonyoung had to meet up with some staff to finish some paperwork, Mingyu offered to pick you up from home.

The drive to the Hybe building was pretty quiet, Mingyu was not himself today. He is nervous, he wants to say something but doesn’t know how.

Mingyu: Y/N?

Y/N: Yeah

Mingyu: You know I will always care for you, right?

Y/N: I guess? Why?

Mingyu: I think I am not over you(a long moment of silence, in which you were shocked). I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I guess I feel like it will help me with closure and stuff. Or maybe it will help me get over it once and for all, with you knowing how I feel. I’m sorry, I am not trying to burden you, I just needed to get it out of my chest.

Y/N: Oh! I…. don’t know what to say

Mingyu: Don’t need to say anything, really. Please, don’t feel bad or weird, ok? Just be my friend and that’s it. I am really happy for you and Hosh. Like really really happy.

You looked at him and could see the sadness in his eyes. But he was also genuine about him being happy for you. You trust him and you will be his friend if that’s what he needs.

And if he needs to put some space between you two, then you will give him that.

Arriving at the company, the elevator ride with Mingyu felt awkward. You tried to act natural but it was hard, considering what he just told you 20 minutes ago. Also, should you tell this to your boyfriend?

Entering the room where everyone gathered, there was no sign of Soonyoung, and Jeonghan. They probably haven’t finished their meeting with the managers, you think.

Jun comes to you and keeps you in a tight hug for what feels like minutes, observing your worried face.

Jun: What is it? Nervous?

Y/N: Yeah, I really am nervous.

Jun: Wanna talk later?

Y/N: We’ll see how things go. Some people might get really drunk tonight and need babysitting. By people I mean Your good friend Hoshi.

Jun: Let’s have fun tonight and get some drinks, girl!

Y/N: Who gets drunk first pays for one dinner

Jun: Get ready to lose, you loser!

You were already starting your second glass of whatever Joshua made for you. Tasted sweet and you thought it will be easy to beat Jun since you barely felt any alcohol in the drink.

You were in a conversation with Dino and Cheol, when the door opens with a bang, barely having time to turn around to see what was the sound, when you saw someone running to you and crashing into your body, lifting you off the floor.

Soonyoung: Babe!!! You’re here!

Next thing you hear is him crying, saying how he missed you. He put you down, but his arms still strong around you. You couldn’t contain your own tears either, letting them fall down your cheeks.

Then he pulled away, littering your face with kisses, making you giggle.

Y/N: Soonyoung, there are people around!

Soonyoung: Don’t care. Everyone knows I’m obsessed with you, so..

After a minute or two he lets you go to hug the rest of the people in the room, his parents looking at him with great pride.

Most of the day, Hoshi stood by your side, even though you kept telling him that you’re fine and he can go mingle with his friends. But he felt like he could not breath if he was not touching you in any way.

Soonyoung: Love? Ready to go home?

Y/N: I love the sound of that.

The whole ride home your hand was in his, didn’t let go until you were both inside his apartment.

Soonyoung: Let’s make a huge bed on the living room floor so we can lay down, looking out the windows and cuddle.

Y/N: But let’s shower first

With both being needy and fucking horny, the shower took longer than expected, but you both decided to behave. Still, you kept kissing and touching each other. Hands all over your naked bodies. Things were getting really heated and you couldn’t wait to get to bed.

You didn’t even bother to put sleep clothes on, you just got under the blanket, holding each other tight.

Y/N: Missed this so much. Missed you

Soonyoung: I know, baby. Me too

And without any more words, you started kissing, him shifting his weight on top of you, hands going all over your body. Your hands flew over his shoulders, pulling him impossibly close.

You wanted to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but your mouth would not cooperate with you. And whenever you had a second free from kisses, his lips would be on yours immediately.

Both feeling starved for each other, to feel, touch, love. The only thing you could get out of your mouth were pretty moans that were quickly devoured by his own mouth.

You felt him enter you slowly. You haven’t felt him like this in months and it felt so good that all the emotions and feelings made you cry of happiness and pleasure. Orgasms starting to come one after another, your vision getting blurry, mouth searching for his.

As he kept thrusting into you, making love to you, he would whisper “I love you”, not breaking the kiss. Everything felt so intense and you wanted more.

You felt him cumming inside you, and all you could say was “Don’t stop” and he didn’t. He needed more, he needed more of you. In minutes he came a second time and you didn’t even remembered how many times you came.

He kept his thrusts but at a low pace, just enjoying a little overstimulation and your puffy lips on his.

Soonyoung: Marry me!

That made you squeeze around him so hard and it made him giggle, so he said it again and that made you cum again.

Soonyoung: My God, please. I don’t think I can go for another round right now.

After you came down from your orgasm, you tried to gather your thoughts.

Y/N: Soonyoungie, what are you trying to do? Don’t mock me, that’s a very serious question

Soonyoung looks at you with a straight face.

Soonyoung: Baby, I am as serious as I can be. I want to be your husband, put a ring on your pretty finger and make you mine forever. So answer me, please.

Y/N: There is nothing that I want more, so yes. Yes, of course I’ll marry you, my silly tiger

Soonyoung: When can we start making babies?

Y/N: You came back from the military today, slow down!

Soonyoung: Sorry, I’m just really happy right now.

Y/N: Me too

That night, you fell asleep in each other’s arms, talking about your future. You never felt happier and it made you think that you probably deserve to be happy too. The only worry you had now was how Mingyu will feel after he’ll find out about your engagement.

You knew this will break his heart again and it made yours sink into your chest.

Feeling guilty that your happiness might upset someone else is real, and maybe this is your punishment for being happy. But whatever happens, you’ll allow yourself to feel all these emotions, good and bad. You didn’t feel alone anymore, you had someone that made you feel appreciated and loved.

Final note: Thanks to everyone who have interacted to my fic. This was the final chapter from the long story and will start my new mafia fic very soon. Hope you enjoyed it and I hope I did a good job, this being my first ever story that I have written. Now I'll go cry into my pillow, missing Jeonghan, bye! Stay safe!

26 notes · View notes