#no. its my stuff. fuck off :3
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I sort of want to read more of these. this shit is funny bro
not submission. I really hate the "My OC, my rules" thing. Cause like, no? Just because they are your oc doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with them. If you want to make your oc suffer and not like them get help, you deserve to lose rights over them. Especially if you only do that stuff to purposely trigger people. Once you do that, your oc no longer belongs to you. they belong to the public who will take better care of them instead
Making a comment to get this to post.
#you are free to do whatever you want#if somebody doesnt like your stuff then they shouldnt complain about it#“hey could you not draw this character like that because I dont like it?” like.#no. its my stuff. fuck off :3#my blog is designed for me and not for anyone else#you dont like smth that a content creator is doing?#click off.#edit: im reading more of them and saw one that said smth like#“hey my comfort characters are on your account so can I please have your account? I deserve it more than you”#HAHAHHAHA no#dumbass#half of these seem like theyre supposed to be guilt tripping but its actually so fucking stupid#the entitlement here is so strong that I can literally eat it
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Seb comes to Fernando's bedside to cheer him up! (aka resolving my turmoil over there being no vettonso moments yesterday)(long gif!!!)
+ what if Fernando hadn't been out sick!
#oh my god what the fuck have i made 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#this is my magnum opus.....#i love these projects where i keep going back and forth btwn#I CANT FINISH THIS to IM GONNA FINISH THIS SO HADD#and i DID finish it. at 5 am. sick.#im oddly proud of this despite how fucking stupid it is 😭😭#its so hilarious to me 😭😭😭😭#ty to suzuki as always for contributing by being my fellow freak <3#i love how i been able to finish anything lately cause I've been busy and stressed#like i keep putting off stuff just to work on this for four hours straight#I NEEDED IT TO BE RELEVANT#also its up to you to decide if seb is actually wearing that or if its fernando's fever dream#WAAAUGHHHHHHH IM STILL SO SAD THERES NO PICS OF THEM#sry i am actually delirious rn oh my god#WHY DIDNT THEY MEEETTTTTTTTTT AAAAGGHHHHH :(((#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2024 brazilian gp#catie.art.#normal things that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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"[high pitched and tinny] Let’s dive in. Let’s dive in. It’s time to dive in. Get ready to [audio distorts and slows] dive. Diiive. Diiiiie…" (The Road to PALISADE 20: City Planning Department)
so that's what i've been working on for the past 2 weeks! i wanted to draw something for this intro ever since i first listened to it (as a companion piece to my other gur drawing, though it of course ended up being way bigger in scale), but it only really gripped me about halfway through PALISADE ep 18. the next morning after that i listened to this narration on repeat for about 45 minutes and then made a big sketch on 4 sheets of paper at my desk at work.
anyways, i haven't listened to the new episode yet but i think i'm probably ready for whatever they're gonna throw at us with the next sortie. i'm gonna believe, against it all, in millennium break. for gur
(i recommend listening along while scrolling! + transcript btw. if anything is hard to read)
#road to palisade#road to palisade spoilers#palisade#fatt#friends at the table#gur sevraq#<- yuore everything btw.#long post#and good god. it sure as fuck is#rosa art#the full file for this? that i had to split up? its 30000 pixel tall. thats 218cm#im so proud of this & it was a ton of fun. ooohhh my free floating panels i love them#i posted about my progress (theres some earlier sketches n lineart too) on cohost to be like well.#maybe i wont talk so fucking much on the actual post but noooo i cant shut up#love that for me.shoutout if you read all this#if you find a typo please. dont even mention it#a fun thing about this is that i almost know the intro by heart now. theres like 3 lines i get stuck on but mostly. its all there#ill link the cohost if i reblog this again. personally i think its interesting stuff but i love to hear myself talk abt shit i make soooo#anyways i have art class tomorrow & should sleep soon : ) but im happy im finally able to show this off. it rules sooo much
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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MY BEAUTIFUL RIPTIDE OCS... their names are catalina and milo avery <3 catalina's a water genasi, and milo's a tiefling :] !!
#my post#my art#YAAAY#points at milo. estrogen could save her#anyways these are my sillies that i cant stop thinking about#theyre siblings (milos adopted nobody tell him /j) and they grew up in a small fishing town#until they decided to run away and become pirates together as teenagers!!#they did that for a while until catalina left to find a new crew by herself. nothing against milo she just wanted to do some hashtag self#discovery. that was all fine and cool they kept in touch and stuff#until one day cat reads a newspaper and finds out that??? apparently milo mutinied and is now the captain of that old crew?? AND HES JUST#COMMITTING ACTS OF TERRORISM????#ok see cats in this whole pirate thing to travel the world and adventure and make friends. milo wants to do something worth remembering and#that something does not necessarily have to be something good#the only long-lasting member of milos crew is a Guy who i havent named yet. theyve got a weird toxic yaoi thing going on dw about it#also milo is like. val velocity. he got pissed off hearing about how those incompetent fucking riptide pirates have been rising into infamy#and all have ever-growing bounties meanwhile his crew has done Nothing Interesting. so he started atrocities<3#its fine. its all cool. however it may take slightly more than just estrogen to save her
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Listen, this has been a consistent issue I've had to deal with quite some time now, so I'm not targetting anyone specific, this is not meant to demonize or attack anyone in particular, this is just me setting a boundary.
If I say "please do not put X thing on my post" I fucking mean I do not want X thing on my post, whether it be character negativity or a certain ship, if I SAY I don't want it, I do not fucking want it. Keep that shit away from me. I don't CARE how much you hate a character I like, keep that shit to your fucking self!
Now, can I be unclear sometimes? Yes, yes I can, and I'll take responsibility for that. HOWEVER, it is generally a good rule of thumb to follow to... not put things on someone's post if they ask you not to??? 9/10 it's not a secret, disguised invitation for you to add that to their fucking posts.
#after 3 years of being overly active and dealing w this shit its just starting to piss me off too much#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#raine's rambles#tagging as ninjago bc all the stuff this post is related to is ninjago stuff lol#swearing#cw swearing#swearing cw#i wouldnt normally tag my swears but i say fuck a tremendous amount here.
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Master Miller time
#my art#metal gear#metal gear solid#master miller#kazuhira miller#i honestly just wanted to draw the 'oh this? its laced w drugs' image bc its so fucking funny#but it became this bc <3 its master miller wesnesday. master milfer even if you will#i think the og joke i made 2 my boyfriend which is what inspired this was#master miller taking a drag from a ciggarette and young davesnake coming over like hey can i bum a cig off you#and shes like oh this? this is laced w estrogen you dont want this.#. and hes like really??? and she stares at him.#says no dave dont be fucking stupid it was a joke. and you can buy your own cigarettes fuck off#and then she ruffles his hair and sends him on his way cuz hes a good lad shes just not sharing her smokes w anyone#ANYWAY. iuf you want my now developing trans headcanons abt her i dont think she goes on hrt or medically transitions#shes out here and shes trans and shes smoking six packs a day and i love her <3#IDK JUST! older trans people who dont realise stuff abt themselves till later in life mean a lot to meeeeee so i like headcanoning her#like this. HOOAH wow i rambled a lot on this doodle. hello hi enjoy my miller doodles
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objectively hilarious that vivinos's youtube channel is basically build on yuri horror/angst content (its basically almost always two girls killing or dying in the most fucked up ways possible) but the first time a video centered on guys is made (cherry bitch club) its literally just fanservice. yeah flip those conventions LOL
#bc usually the guys get to be the hashtag deep angsty ones (esp in fandom shit) and girls are cutsie yuri fanservice and such#obvs more have come out since though. that are actually serious and fucked up. bc of alien stage#and some horror stuff happens in cherry bitch club too but mostly just hitting the same plotbeats as pink bitch club. but hornier#so. its fanservice. which is not a bad thing#its not for me personally obvs but i do have to give it props for subverting expectations so heavily#but im still the biggest fan of the fucked up tragic yuri <3 beloved is my favorite i think#as far as one off videos go i mean. you all know i have alien stage brainrot
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Sejanus is like Chappell Roan in the sense that he was only ever meant to be loved by queer people, but it got out of hand, and now there’s way too many cishets who don’t get him, expressing opinions about him.
Sejanus I’m sorry that your character keeps getting absolutely murdered and turned into everything you’re not, just cause a bunch of straight girls wanna fuck the actor who played you in that horrible adaptation, and keep projecting their fantasies onto you, and aside from how bad that is, they won’t even admit the objective truth that the actor was actually a terrible pick for you and he doesn’t fit you at all
#i always hold my tongue let me be a bitch!!!!!!#i’m tiireddddddd#also kindly asking for no reblogs <3#and this is a joke but also not#the wording is a joke but i mean everything i said#and guess what? i’m right about everything i said too!!!#he’s a gay for the gays not whatever the fuck is going on in this fandom#the problem is not cishet people in itself#the problem is cishet people who go against everything canon about him to change him into whatever they want to fulfill their fantasies#i’m sorry girls but book sejanus aka the only valid sejanus is a homosexual 18yo who likes older men#and he’s not a buff dom daddy IN THE SLIGHTEST#nor is he manly like josh is#he’s canonically still very boyish and childlike there’s actually nothing manly about him#if he were real none of you would like him as much as you think you do or would have a chance with him#this fandom talks about a completely made up character or oftentimes ABOUT CORIOLANUS SNOW slapping sejanus’s name on it#and it’s…. questionable to say the least and to be very kind about it#also enjoy the movie enjoy the casting whatever the fuck but don’t pretend it’s good!!!!#the casting in tbosas is just as ass as in the other movies both for side characters and for the main characters#and josh is not one bit suited for the role of sejanus for multiple reasons#nothing to do with his acting skills but no i’m not gonna get into it#that’s a post in and of itself the tags are not its place to be#and the fandom isn’t ready to hear it anyways nor would want to#it would either fall on deaf ears or ppl would get offended and defensive without hearing reason#many straight up wouldn’t care and would keep mischaracterizing sejanus to fit their little fantasies#which is just weird as fuck let's be honest#in general the fandom’s treatment of sejanus is absolutely fucking disgusting but i’ll hold my tongue for longer on that#might delete this at some point might not#definitely not tagging properly cause this is just me getting stuff off my chest
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guys I cant keep lying by omission I do Have to say . it's not that I dont ship qyz with anyone its literally just that I do Nawt like seeing him with yy to be so honest with you
#j.txt#SORRY IM FRINGE AND NICHE AND NOT EVEN A TRUE HATER. I like yy a lot also just Not With Him yknow#also like. oh this is so embarrasing but its going to be revealed eventually anyways so fuck it#um. qyz is the single character whose ever gotten me into ocxcanon ahaha[<laughing like a man expecting tomatoes and boos off the stage]#I KNOW ITS CRINGE I KNOW /EYE/ AM CRINGE . BUT A MAN MUST BE ALLOWED TO HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP HIM GOING YES?#I just think I could give him what he deserves and more....... I crafted him a loving narrative parallel and even in some ways foil.....#[sniffles pathetically]I just dont talk abt it publicly much bc honest2god if ppl hate my oc I Will take it personal. bleeding heart & all#but Im getting so brave about it and like. I do genuinely want to share some with others bc thee facking worldbuilding I am having to do#to make this shit work. tian AH .and it gives me excuse to just headcanon a ton of unrelated stuff for qyz himself so yknow#Still putting in my Work as a minor underdeveloped character stan💪#oh forgot 2 say Also its very rare but I Have seen qyz shipped w other canon characters and liked it !! like sqx which tbh is kindof cute<3
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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#text#polls#im rly curious abt this#i havent painted in foreverrr :{ i took an oil painting class that i loved but working with paint that never dries was difficult#but also helpful to be able to wipe it off even like a week after i fucked up lol#i liked it tho !! i wish id gotten to spend more time on my final bc it was so fun but i wasnt quite done#literally went in with a paint pen like last month to touch up some stuff#might go try and finish it fully but idkkkk. i dont have oil paints so id have to do it in acrylic and idk how easy itd be#ANYWAy#ive never worked with ink before and i only have worked with oil paint in that class#but the other three ive used a lot and when it comes to on Paper and not canvas#acrylic dries fast which is difficult for me#and watercolor dries slow bc. thats water. and it doesnt always go where i want it to#so usually i prefer gouache bc its a little thicker but not too thick and it dries quick but not too quick. a happy medium#just like goldilocks#on canvas tho i usually prefer acrylic#i think bc i get scared to use up my gouache paints on a bigger canvas#^saying all this and i havent painted in months. </3#im not even particularly good at it i just like it. makes me happy#waugh. its nice out today maybe i'll go out and paint :} it miught rain tho#so who knows
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...
#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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Them :3
#evora draws stuff#evora original#library of ruina#btw this is why i was losing my mind about Roland’s stupid fucking hair#No color picking was done just eyeballing colors and running off of memory lol#i forgot about Angela’s little feathers on her cravat or whatever its called so she only has one layer of feathers instead of 2 but w/e#literally just wanted to draw them as fumos. low key want to learn how to sew and make some fanmade fumos of them now.#not a product#just I want something cute :3 my roommate would probably be hyped about them too lmao.#ruina stuff
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i need a new strategy for like, cleaning my room and doing yoga and reading and leaving the house. the adhd has reached mythic levels of bad. i have the thought, "i should do X," and then i won't move. i make a to-do list and i won't do anything on it. i queue up a yoga practice and i won't do it. i stare at my room and get stressed out about how cluttered it is. i write 3000 words of notes for a fic i don't even know if i'm going to write. i think and i think and i think about my OCs and they won't let me write them. i spend hours looking at stuff i can't buy. i take like an hour to write this.
#rum.txt#i have to do something about my phone...........#i might be able to uninstall tumblr#i can't uninstall twitter because the stupid fucking thing turns off notifications when you do#so i wouldn't be able to catch up on the accs i have notifs on for#(a very small list of forcebook- and kaibaek-related accs)#i can't uninstall instagram because of forcebook again lol#i also use it for recipes sigh#but i might start just... leaving it in my room when i get up and see how that goes#i'd also have to try to not look at my phone first thing in the morning#i also have to start actually getting up in the morning#i think that's the main thing#ok maybe when i take my medication in the evening i start getting ready for bed#it'll take long enough that it'll probably still be late but reasonable late#and not like. almost 3 am like now#one of the problems with my room right now is that i have a lot of STUFF#and i'm afraid of getting rid of the STUFF#because the last time i got rid of a bunch of STUFF#(mostly clothes)#i totally regretted most of it and i'm still like ah shit i don't have that anymore? :(#but also i have a big bed that i just want OUT of there#and a huge wardrobe that unfortunately holds a lot of the STUFF#so i don't know where all the STUFF would go#and every job i apply to sucks#and every job i actually want is TERRIFYING in both its unattainability and the miniscule possibility of its improbable successful executio#so i'm like stressed out about a thing that hasn't happened to make something that hasn't happened that i'm also stressed out about#every possible scenario whether i want it or not feels like it could lead to a meltdown because everything is so god damn hard right now#AND I FEEL SO!!!!!! SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and the worst part is that i know all this is because my stupid fucking period is coming up#but just because my hormones are making me feel overwhelmed and melodramatic about everything doesn't make anything i've said untrue
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