#no worse…. he’s kudo!!

[purple-ravaged]

[morastfrck]

Conan would blend in with south park kids so well

[t4tadrienette]

AN HOUR???? God that's so funny

[constantvariations]

K so, Semblances are connected to Aura which is a manifestation of the soul yeah?

In Before the Dawn, the father of the villains confirms that one of twin's semblance was active in the womb throughout a good portion of the pregnancy

Meaning, in Remnant, fetuses have souls. Wonder how legal abortions are

Edit: just remembered Pyrrha had to unlock Jaune's Aura in V1, so does that mean someone cracked open a fetus's Aura inside the womb? Was Gillian strong enough as a cluster of cells to unlock it herself?? Wtf is this origin story???

[nomsfaultau]

(Potentially) Daily ask №5

Philza edition!

Stares at him with a mix of hesitation confusion fear disgust respect and concern, hhhhhh I have some feelings about that guy. I put him off as the last character to get an ask cause I genuinely didn't know much about him and cause I didn't really like him either. But here we go!

I can't tell how powerful he actually is. Because the foundation has these things called reality anchors which it canonically traps the reality bending entities with. And Phil was still walking around freely and was powerful enough to make contracts with. But if the reality anchors didn't work on him cause he's so powerful, why didn't he just, yk, break his collected out immediately?

Does he genuinely not understand how traumatizing is a lot of the lovely murder sprees he goes on are, at least for Tommy from what I've read? Like, yeah he's a god but surely he must've researched psychology enough to understand that it's highly stressful?

Are there any repercussions to using his godly powers? Perhaps that's why he doesn't use them often. Loss of humanity?

Why does he actually cling to his humanity via collecting people? Seems like a very illogical and unproductive thing to do if you don't want to get manipulated or hurt in other ways over it.

..I don't have any gift for him but uh.. 👍 good job keeping them alive, dude?

Thanks! I wrote him to be a very complicated guy. This one will dip into some of the deep lore behind the magic system that isn’t entirely explored in Fault bc well the main characters have more pressing problems.

1 and 4 since theyre impossible to untangle. What scp lore I use is up in the air honestly, but Philza is not a reality bender. The Blood God would count as one, though that’s mostly in the ‘unfortunate accidents’ department, and Wilbur very much is a reality. Well breaker but still. Luckily the Foundation doesnt realize he’s an Apollyon since Wilbur keeps that thing locked down anyway. Creatures like Phil are what I personally call Conceptuals, which are personifications of two ideas. They get a lot of names in Fault tho, since it covers Philza, The Blood God, Wilbur’s voidlings, etc. These entities are not real* in the same way a person is, as they lack a body and usually have to anchor onto a vessel. They are beings purely made of a soul, and thus are more controlled by the components of a soul -Memories, Emotions, Name, Bonds. People and Real things meanwhile are more than their essence, and can do stuff like change, act out of character, and most pertinent to this question, break their promises. A person has a body to anchor them but an unbound soul is compelled to complete it be it a bargain, challenge, vow, pulled along by their Bonds. Voidlings to their bargains, The Blood God to his challengers, so on.

Philza is a special case, because he is an entity so powerful that he made himself Real. That’s not a vessel he’s using like The Blood God; he made himself into an actual person. And because he has made himself Real, unlike every other god/void/entity he technically can break his promises. But he doesn’t, because Bonds with his Collected chain him to personhood (and it would be a crappy ethical dilemma if he doesn’t have an actual choice). Philza is like actually billions of years old, and humanity is a blink to him if he doesn’t force himself to live in the present. He can’t care about everyone because they’re dead so fast, but he can become attached to a very select few to anchor him. It took millions of years to overcome his essence enough to even be fully sapient, let alone feel human enough to become one since his form reflects how he feels. Like imagine trying to get in the head space of an ant so completely that you become one. Without Collected, it’s harder for Phil to maintain his personhood though he can probably manage a couple decades without one. And having fought so hard to be a person, Phil isn’t willing to lose it, since again it took millions of years last time and humanity could be gone by that point. As a person he gets to be so much more than an embodiment of fire and fury, is able to change who he is, has purpose and goals and cares beyond the mindless rage he used to be. He gets to be real, all for the low low price of loving and being loved by others. Who the hell wouldn’t? So Philza would sacrifice anything to maintain the Collected system, his promises, and thus his personhood.

And unfortunately his current Collected are suffering for that long term goal. Philza made the Collected Contract with the Foundation because all his Collected were captured and short of setting the entire world on fire he couldn’t find them. Philza is a very destructive guy, but he adores humanity, so that wasn’t really on the table. So he made a promise to the Foundation, and had to follow it or risk unraveling himself. It’s a slippery slope fallacy, but in eternity once you’ve done something once you’re guaranteed to do it infinite times, or so goes Phil’s logic. In his own words: “Morals are a slippery slope. That’s why I made myself a ledge. A precipice so I can know where I need to stop before I fall entirely.” In his mind to snap even one promise gives him free rein to break the next, and the next, each easier to justify than the last until there really is nothing tethering him to his own sapience. The only tenet Philza has is to keep is promises, because he doesn’t know if he can remain a person otherwise.

He doesn’t break his Collected out. He can’t unless he breaks himself.

2. Philza has no morals because in his opinion an immortal can’t have any; what is considered ethical will only shift out beneath you like sand as society changes. He generally aligns with the ethical framework that his Collected have at the time, and Wilbur and The Blade are pretty fine with murder so he’s lenient on that front currently, whereas with his last Collected he was a clean and proper stay at home roommate, his white picket fence completely free of blood stains…until the Foundation ruined that. Philza personally doesn’t have much care for human lives beyond his Collected given they’re just going to die in not even a century anyway. That isn’t to say he isn’t aware of murder being bad/ traumatizing to some people. In fact, prior to the Foundation Philza and the rest took pains to sanitize themselves for Tommy’s visits, cremating the evidence, burning the blood off their hands, etc. They were being actively hunted down and are trying to protect themselves, but also letting a kid see what that life is fully like, all the fear and violence of it, is messed up. Perhaps they sheltered him too much. Tommy didn’t know how to recognized he was being followed.

Once in the Foundation, Philza is less cautious about it, though technically is committing far less murder due to the Collected Covenent. He’s practically behaving himself. Philza makes two mistakes in the Hallway Massacre: 1. Tommy’s killed like so so many people at that point so he doesn’t think it’s a problem, especially as he’s murdering Foundation workers who have hurt Tommy. 2. Philza thinks the Foundation has broken their promise and so he’s free. Technically he’s correct, but the Foundation lies well enough that he later regards the Hallway massacre as a mistake, mostly for political rather than traumatizing Tommy reasons. Philza views the Foundation as a far greater source of trauma for Tommy, and all the murder was for the purpose of breaking Tommy out and so justified to him.

In truth, Tommy had already caused as much carnage as he saw during the Hallway Massacre by that time, albeit likely in smaller, more spaced out batches. The reason that moment stuck with Tommy so much was because he saw it as the consequences of choices he made rather than something he was forced to do. Moreso, all his time in the Foundation he’d been told they were violent monsters that would slaughter humanity without reason. This directly conflicted with Tommy’s experience of being forced and forcing others to be violent; until, of course, Philza proved the Foundation right.

In Later massacres during the amnestic arc Philza wasn’t aware he even had Collected that could be traumatized, and anyway only Tubbo was really there to see it. Any later murders on Phil’s part are typically in battles. He does recognize that Tommy doesn’t prefer to fight, and honestly Phil prefers that he doesn’t too since Tommy getting captured mid battle is how the whole group got picked off one by one. Tommy tends not to see most of the fighting. Philza recognizes that Tubbo abhors murder and would ideally solve that through smoking them to sleep through battles so they don’t get traumatized via their partial omnipresence. But Tubbo refuses bc of moral principles or whatever, and so Phil can’t minimize much trauma there without acting against their expressed boundaries, and since the majority of his Collected want to fight and he refuses to let them be killed/hurt/captured, murder time it is. Potentially if they were on better terms he’d smoke Tubbo anyway on the grounds that it’s better for their mental health, but Philza feels ant present Tubbo wouldn’t understand he’s ‘acting in their best interest’.

3. One large factor is that it’s very hard to be a mile long dragon inside of a itty bitty room, although much like he pretends to be human Philza is likewise only pretending to be a dragon. And also it’s hard to hug his tiny little mortals when he’s big. Plus while his Collected are immune to his fire, the smoke generated from burning matter can be hazardous unless it’s hot enough to be a complete combustion.

And unless his human form is killed (which takes an awful lot of effort) Philza can only switch forms through reframing his entire mental schema. His inner world controls his body, and switching between believing you’re a human and a dragon is quite difficult, let alone reverting to his uncontrolled true essence which Philza takes great pains not to do. It’s a tricky balance between loosening his self imposed reigns and fully unbridling his self. Too much and he might lose sapience altogether. When feeling untethered to his humanity, he does also become more draconian. Philza finds it easier to go from dragon to human since all that’s doing is adding more chains, and you can’t really go overboard with that. Though it is certainly easier to go between a human and dragon, which are pretty similar if you think about it what with their brains and meat and what not, than between an animal and fire/fury incarnate.

4. Answered above. And yes it is all illogical to some extent, since love rarely is purely rational. But immortality would be hell without other people. Going insane is even less rational, so Philza picks the former.

5. Philza sweeps a bow. It is unclear if it’s sarcastic. He then pulls out a wallet, which upon opening dumps out long rows of photos, and tries to corner you to gush about his kids. He is a dorky dad first and a deplorable threat to society second.

[sentofight]

MUSE BODY LANGUAGE

Einar Vilho

DEFENSIVENESS : arms crossed on chest // crossing legs // fist-like gestures // pointing index finger // karate chops // stiffening of shoulders // tense posture // curling of lip // baring of teeth

REFLECTIVE : hand-to-face gestures // head tilted // stroking chin // peering over glasses // taking glasses off — cleaning // putting earpiece of glasses in mouth // pipe smoker gestures // putting hand to the bridge of the nose // pursed lips // knitted brows

SUSPICION : arms crossed // sideways glance // touching or rubbing nose // rubbing eyes // hands resting on weapon // brows raising // lips pressing into a thin line // strict, unwavering eye contact // wrinkling of nose

OPENNESS & COOPERATION : open hands // upper body in sprinters position // leaning in closely // sitting on the edge of a chair // hand-to-face gestures // unbuttoned coat // tilted head // slacked shoulders // droopy/relaxed posture // feet pointed outward // palms flat and facing outward

CONFIDENCE : hands behind back // hands on lapels of coat // steepled hands // baring teeth in a grin // rolling shoulders // tipping head back but maintaining eye contact // chest puffed up // shoulders back // arms folded just above navel

INSECURITY & ANXIETY : chewing pen or pencil // rubbing thumb over opposite thumb // biting fingernails // hands in pockets // elbow bent // closed gestures // clearing throat // “ whew ” sound // picking or pinching flesh // fidgeting in chair // hand covering mouth whilst speaking // poor eye contact // tugging at pants whilst seated // jingling money in pockets // tugging at ear // perspiring hands // playing with hair // swaying // playing with pointer / marker // smacking lips // sighing // rocking on balls of feet // flexing fingers sporadically

FRUSTRATION : short breaths // “ tsk ” sounds // tightly-clenched hands // fist-like gestures // pointing index finger // running hand through hair // rubbing back of neck // snarling // revealing teeth / grimacing // sharp-eyed glowers with notable tension in the brows // shoulders back, head up - defensive posturing // clenching of jaw / grinding teeth // nostrils flaring // heavy exhales

tagged by: @unshackled-instinct (sankyuuu)

tagging: @dcviated (wywy?), @psychcdelica , @pieman1112 , @isaaccecilbryant , @kinships (setu!) , @apotelesmati (elli or xavier? or za twins????) , @foolshoujo , @amalanexus (honks at amon), @flovverworks (or gran~), @riftdancer (shane!!!!!!!!) , @juwul , and u~ steal it with style

[kaseyskat]

SO SO SO TRUE ABT UR RB 🙏🙏🤝

THANK YOU it’s something i simply do not talk about because i know how hypocritical it’ll sound when i’m out here defending sparrows ass every day but i have SUCH BIG FEELINGS about how link was raised in isolation and they’re all bad

[goldenpinof]

(since you mentioned him) i joined the phandom about 6 months after the whole charlie thing, and one thing that confused me to this day is why on earth phil didn't immediately cut ties with charlie afterwards, because if someone tried to out my partner in front of millions of people, that person would be dead to me. but then again, it would have probably been too obvious at that point in time to do that immediately. idk, i just hope he got therapy and became a better person (and maybe even reached out privately to apologise)

good take. but i don't know what should happen for Phil to cut ties immediately with anyone. also, i think the internet was very different back then and Dan was identifying as bisexual, kinda. so by saying that he preferred holding balls Charlie wasn't specifically outing him. it was a joke, a bold one but still a joke, and it could be turned into an even more funny joke, but damn, it escalated pretty fast. that "private stuff" did more damage than balls imo. like, man, you can have a beef on twitter dot com and joke around but there are things that you shouldn't say unless you're a complete dickhead. and yes, Charlie didn't say anything in the end but the fact that he could only because Dan got snappy at some point.. it said a lot. but also they were in their early 20s, very hard times if you ask me. add attention seeking to usual problems with education, jobs, friendships and relationships overall. it's sad that Charlie didn't think that him revealing "private stuff" would hurt not only Dan but also Phil. and Phil was more of a friend than Dan. like, i really think that sometimes people don't think about consequences not because they are bad people but because they are stupid and adrenaline is flowing in their veins, and that was exactly it.

[librariansrose]

Cool I know a new character that makes me uncomfortable. Thanks raincode!

[asummersday]

i'm being So Optimistic here but i hope to post chapter 4 either tonight (if my motivation carries me through the middle bit + editing) or some time tomorrow.

[dragonartist56]

SICK AND FUCKING TWISTED

SICKENING. ITS SICK.

[basingstokemercury]

and now I want to rewatch A House Divided

which is only one of the heaviest episodes the climax of which had me in tears on my first adult rewatch

maybe it would not be a good idea

[occudo]

An incomplete list of TMA fics I adore

-beacuse of this ask

(If you liked the fics I previously recommended/made fanart for, I think you'll gonna like these as well, but you know, read the tags, know what you are going into)

Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey @cirrus-grey

Time Travel Fix-it! Slow burn! So good! So much sass from future!Jon- I doubt I have to introduce anyone this amazing author, but if you somehow missed them till now, this is your time! I highly recommend all of their other fics as well, for example one of a more recent one, The Stranger I Know Best is also a lovely read.

enthralling by Prim_the_Amazing @primtheamazing

Vampire!Martin!! I have no words of how much I love this concept, this story, everything about this. I think I'm going to repeat myself through this list, but I also recommend everything else they've written!

to fill... my heart with music? by godshaper @godshaper so their Martin and Jon design are different from mine, also they made a way better art for this- but still, I wanted to include this really good fic in this list.

Do It All Anew by inkfingers_mcgee or @crit20art

You know the feeling when you read a book that makes you cry, and after that you recommend it to your friend? Well- there is no reason I mentioned this, I'm just so normal about this fic. Or any other fic from inkfingers_mcgee... like Strange Manner of what I made another fanart way back. Also, check out their art!

Anyway, here is Aamal- she is not going to cause emotional damage.

And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) by arthureameslove @arthureameslove

A lighthearted series where Jon and Martin are sidekicks of supervillains- it's just a really fun fic, also recommend everyting from this author - I previously draw fanart here for an other fic of theirs Like a Lighthouse, Call Me Home

neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well by saintbleeding @saintbleeding

To quote the aurthour: "Post-divorce Jon and Martin in a wedding-based romcom" It's such a comfort read, also has a Tim/Sasha wedding, and lots of cameos! I realised most of these authors I made fanarts for before- like this one for some kind of miraculous bind, this one is oneshot and a bit more serious in tone.

Give Me the Words by rakel @rakel-on-ao3

"Jon and Martin try to make the most of a bad situation in the Scottish Highlands. The situation is worse than they realised." You know that one post about wanting to write PWP, but it keeps turning into character study? Well, this one comes to my mind each time I see that.

i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy @transgenderboobs

So what would have happened if instead of the cot (tm), Jon offered Martin his own flat to stay? There is no way it's going to change their relationship, right? Such a good read, if you want some fluff, I highly recommend it!

Lucky Stars by magnetarmadda @magnetarmadda

Martin has a lovely family (except his mother) but still, he needs a fake boyfriend, and Jon comes to the rescue. It's one of the first fics I remember reading after I finished the series. It is such a comfort read of mine~

(+enjoy a rare tall Jon from me)

There are so many more fics that also deserve the spotlight, these are just the ones I read multiple times and/or didn't made fanarts for before. If you find something here you like, give them some love! Kudos and comments! They deserve it. (Also, just an extra disclamier some of these are PWP or rated T- just mind the tags)

I tried to link and tag everything, I hope it works.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Also, watching all of the KHUX scenes in order really drives home just how stupid the Foretellers are (I'm sorry. I know their story is supposed to be a tragedy, and I get the tragedy, and I can also understand how things ended up the way they did. But I also feel it could have been written a little bit better to make it somewhat more believable). No wonder everything fell apart: it feels like they really weren't leading their Unions at all because they were too busy fighting amongst themselves (all about a traitor among them: one that didn't even exist. And I feel like if any of these guys had sat down and communicated for five seconds, they could have figured out that they were being manipulated by the Master of Masters to set up the exact conditions needed to create a Keyblade War). And meanwhile, while the Key Kids and characters like Ephemer and Skuld aren't perfect, of course--because they're literal children--somehow they seem to have it together so much more than the Foretellers do. But I guess that does fit the legend about "but small fragments of light survived (after the world got destroyed) in the hearts of children."

[fujii-draws]

Pt 2 (getting into more positives!!)

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

[teenidlegirl]

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝓑eauty 𝓞f 𝓣his 𝓜ess ♡ 𝓒hapter 𝓔leven

꒰⠀⠀⟡⠀.⠀military!miguel⠀𝓍⠀fem!neighbor!reader⠀.⠀⟡⠀⠀꒱

‧ ִ ۫⠀♱ 𝓢𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. everything was fine until one day you wake up feeling incredibly nauseous. you believed it was a stomach virus but it turns out to be much worse, something inevitable.

‧ ִ ۫⠀♱ 𝓒𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. brief smut, soft morning sex, creampie, angst, pregnancy symptoms, vomit (emetophobia warning), expired birth control, emotional distress, swearing ( mdni )

❛⠀ previous chapter⠀⋅⠀masterlist⠀⋅⠀next chapter ⠀❜

another day, another morning waking up to your man laying beside you in bed. another day of the very same man making you a trembling mess as he lazily thrusts into you from behind. broad chest against your back, laying behind you. the hem of your nightgown raised over your ass, brunches up in his fingers, and panties shoved to the side. his hands keeping you steady as miguel fucks you nice and slow, whispering sweet praises into your ear. the bulbous tip kissing your cervix repeatedly.

“estas hermosa~” miguel coos in your ear as he sweetly makes love to you.

your soft moans and whimpers are muffled into the pillow. one of his hands trail up to your own and interlocks it with his, holding you against his broad figure. his hot breath fanning against the sheep of your ear, soft groans and moans. your sweet tight pussy sucking him so perfectly.

just a few more pumps and he’s shooting his thick load inside you, filling you up to the brim. his hips eventually come to a stop, gently pulls out and moves your panties back in place. feeling his warm cum flooding inside you, making you softly hum. you just lay there for a few minutes, panting echoing in the room as you recover from your high.

“any ideas for breakfast?” his hands slide up and down your sides. his touch soft and gentle.

you lightly scoff, rolling your eyes. “you literally just fucked me and you’re asking me to think?” your brain is a literal puddle, too fucked out.

he chuckled at your grumpy tone and nuzzles his face into the crook of your beck. “¿quieres tamales?”

you ponder for a moment. “actually, yeah that does sound good. i think i still have some left.”

miguel hums in agreement, his body relaxing into yours. arms around your middle, slightly sweaty chest against your back. the softness of your body lures him back into sleep, provides him a sense of comfort. you are his comfort.

“are you falling back asleep?” you notice it got a little too quiet after a few minutes.

“no.” he murmured into your neck.

you can sense his stupid smile. “you literally said you were hungry and now you’re falling back asleep?”

“never i said i was hungry, just wanted to know what to make for breakfast.”

“says the man who’s an eating machine.”

“your cooking is amazing.”

“oh so you’re blaming me?”

the elicits another chuckle from him. “maybe but seriously amor, your cooking is incredible.” miguel plants a gentle kiss on your cheek, making you smile.

“well, kudos to my mom.” you slowly turn to face him, eyes locked together. “your cooking is amazing too, guapo.” raising a hand, you caress his cheek.

“not as amazing as yours.” he watch you roll your eyes and stops you from protesting by capturing your lips with his in a soft kiss.

the kiss grows more passionate before migue leaves kisses over your face then down to your neck. his arms tugging you closer towards him.

“miguel~” you softly giggle, gently tugging on his soft brown locks to gain his attention.

the brunette lifts up his head to look down at you. “what? i can’t appreciate the woman i love?” he raises a brow teasingly.

your heart flutters at his words. well, specifically one word. a word you haven’t heard in a long time.

he loves you. oh my god, miguel truly loves you?

“you love me?”

miguel can hear the surprise in your tone, the sparkle in your eyes. of course he loves you. it may have taken him a while to say it after what he’s been through but miguel has certainly been in love with you since the beginning, specifically that night he fixed your sink and you gave him a water. your act of kindness captured his broken, cold heart that he’s been trying to shield for a long time. protecting it with ice cold walls that you’ve melted down.

raising a hand, miguel cups your cheek delicately with glints of pure adoration and sincerity in those brown eyes of his. “claro, preciosa. since the day i fixed your sink and you offer me that water.”

your heart skips another beat, overflowed with great rejoice. it feels unbelievable yet you’re so happy to hear his confession, his feelings that he harbors for you as you do him. yes, you’ve been together for a bit but haven’t truly said the big ‘L word’ to each other. but perhaps you finally found the perfect chance.

“for me, since you fixed my car engine. i still don’t know how you fixed it under 5 seconds.”

miguel chuckles, shrugging. “magic.”

you share a smile before colliding your lips together in a sweet kiss filled with complete adoration and passion for one another.

without warning, miguel scoops you up in his arms and gets off the bed. carrying you in bridal style. your laughter echoes throughout your apartment.

“wait, miguel! i have to piss.”

“too bad.” he flashes a smirk.

“you better put me down or your stubborn ass ain’t getting tamales for breakfast.”

that elicits a snort from him. “but you’re perfectly comfortable in my arms.” he gives you a gentle squeeze for emphasis as if you’re a stuffed plushie.

it’s true but you really have to piss that badly. you gently wack the back of his head, making him chuckle more. “put. me. down.”

miguel can hear the sternness in your tone but knows you love his teasing. he obeys by walking to the bathroom and carefully sets you down. leaving a kiss on the top of your head, miguel leaves to go prepare breakfast. but also not missing the opportunity to leave a gentle slap on your ass. he rushes out with a grin before you could scowl at him. you just roll your eyes and smile.

after closing the door and do your business, you stare at your reflection and recap this morning. you and miguel finally confess your love for each other. you’ve always had since the beginning but you finally told each other. these past few weeks, or pretty much a month, has been blissfully amazing. the relationship blossomed beautifully. never has your heart been filled with such love and happiness. it was all because of miguel. you truly love him. you find yourself smiling at your reflection thinking about this.

after fixing your hair and slip into your fuzzy slippers, you head over to join miguel in the kitchen. he stands in front of the stove. that gorgeous broad back to you. stepping closer, your eyes widen noticing the amount of scratch marks. red lines over his shoulder blades and lower back. the sight makes you grimace. damn, you went a little overboard.

“holy shit…”

miguel turns his head, looking at you with a slightly worried look. “what’s wrong?”

“your back oh my…” you cover your mouth with a hand. “it looks like a tiger attacked you.”

the man snorts and shrugs. “maybe, you got the nails for that.” he gestures at your acrylics, making you glance at them guiltily.

“it looks… painful.” you take a step forward and hesitantly reach out with hand. “i’m sorry… i went overboard.” guilt eats you up as you stare remorsefully at the prominent red marks.

miguel turns around completely to face you, gently placing his hands on your upper arms. “hermosa, don’t apologize. it’s okay, they don’t hurt. please don’t feel guilty.” it stings his heart to see you guilty. those remorseful eyes and pouty lips. it makes him lean down and kiss your worries away.

his calloused hands cup your face. “they may sting a little at times but—” you’re about to protest but he continues. “that tells me how much a great job i did.” he grins at your surprised expression. “seeing those scratch marks remind me of you and your love for me. it shows that i was pleasing you right, bebé.” such sincerity in his tone. “all i want is to please and treat you right. seems like i’ve been doing good at it.”

his words leave your speechless yet heartfelt. this man us too good for you. god can he be any more perfect? you truly love him endlessly.

“you’re such a sweet idiot.” you softly scowl at him, unable to hold back a smile.

“your sweet idiot.” he corrects you gently.

there he goes again making your heart flutter.

shutting him up for making you a bashful mess, you go on your toes and kiss him. miguel accepts happily and reciprocates. a sweet, passionate kiss before continuing making breakfast.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ┈ ୨ ₊ ┈ ౨ৎ   ┈ ₊ ୧   ┈

TWO WEEKS LATER.

it was supposed to be a regular morning. alarm goes off, send a cute good morning text to miguel, get out of bed and start getting ready for work.

but instead you wake up an intense feeling of nausea. it’s so sudden and random that you jump out of bed and bolted to the bathroom. you unleash all that nasty shit into the toilet, leaving you a sweaty and panting mess. after flushing it, you lean back and rest against the wall to catch your breath.

what the fuck was that?

did you eat something bad? was it food poisoning? was it last night’s dinner? no, the food was alright and you had it before with no issues.

numerous scenarios ran through your mind as you slowly rise up and begin cleaning yourself up. after brushing your teeth, despite not eating breakfast yet but you wanted to rid of that nasty taste in your mouth, you stare at your reflection. thinking of what could possibly cause you to throw up.

oh no… no, no, no.

panic invades your body as you feverishly dig through the bathroom drawers for your birth control. you find it and quickly read the expiration date. rushing out of the bathroom to grab your phone from your dresser, you look at the date on the lockscreen.

it’s past the expiration date.

FUCK.

no, no, no, no.

this can’t be fucking happening. how can you be so fucking stupid? why didn’t you check the expiration date? you had one responsibility and you fucked up. you’re usually responsible but this? oh this is just terrible. and with expired birth control and recent unprotected sex, that means-

OH FUCK.

you quickly got dressed in whatever clothes you could grab and rush out the door. heading over to the nearest CVS, you hurried down the aisle where the pregnancy tests are and snatch three boxes.

once you return home, you rush to the bathroom, luna following you. you take all three tests one by one, annoyingly so but you have to.

anxiety plagues your body like a virus, consuming every inch while waiting for the results. thousands of thoughts ran through your poor anxious mind.

you can’t be pregnant.

you never wanted to be at all. at least not now, you haven’t even considered having kids or not. if that was even in the books for you later on. there is no space for a baby. your apartment is only one bedroom. the only life you can be responsible for is luna, not a child. you’re only in your mid-twenties, there is still much time left. it can’t be soon already.

you can’t be a mother.

not right now, or ever.

sitting on the floor against the wall, you hug luna for comfort and try to ease your anxiety while waiting for the test results. stroking her soft, white fuzzy fur as a coping mechanism. giving her kisses over her head.

“please don’t be true… please, please, please.” a sad plead, muttered into luna’s fur as you held her close.

after what feels like an eternity of internal turmoil and anxiety, you finally build up the courage and believe it’s time to see the test results. slowly standing up and carrying luna in your arms, you walk over to the counter. the three pregnancy tests are faced down. inhaling a shaky breath, you turn them all over.

pregnant.

a sob escapes your lips as you collapse onto the floor. never have you experienced your heart drop until now. loud sobs echo in the small space of your bathroom as stream of tears trail down your face.

your worse nightmare comes true.

all because of your irresponsibility, your life is forever changed and never be the same.

it makes you sob even harder, you’re pretty sure the whole floor can hear you. fortunately, miguel is at the boxing gym so he wouldn’t hear you and rush over.

oh fuck, miguel.

you’re pregnant with miguel’s baby.

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

how the hell are you going to tell him?

does miguel even want kids? does he have future plans about them or considers a possibility? is becoming a father even in the books for him? he never mentioned so you aren’t sure.

he’s going to hate you because of your irresponsible ass for not checking your birth control. he has every right to be yet the thought makes your heart ache terribly. this is making even more worse.

you fucked up and are scared shitless.

so much tears trail down your cheeks like waterfalls. chest heaving and face hot from all the crying. heart breaking at this revelation.

everything feels like tumbling down like a paper airplane. the world collapsing around you. a tsunami coursing through you, suffocating you under butral amounts of water, sinking down to the bottom and unable to swim back up. just forever drowning. you can’t breathe, as if it’s caught in your throat.

what are you going to do?

how are you planning to tell miguel?

all these thoughts yet no answers and it frustrates you more than you already are. it prompts more tears to fall down from your eyes. some droplets land on the cold, tile floor of the bathroom. the four walls contain of your weeping tears and sobs.

your life is changed forever.

how are you going to handle this?

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. ♡ @reverieblondie @nina-from-317 @kavimoo @aly29a2001 @marshhbs @lazyjellyfish300 @tojishugetiddies @aphinthestars @novelaaaaaaaa @imamexican @obessgurlll @deputy-videogamer @watertribeissuperior @lovehadlovelost @auiciqa @agoddoesnotplead @saintdiior @whoopwhoppghost @tomalymme @skadiloki @miguelsfavwife @asterrrrose @glossygreene @aefin @youcantseem3 @resident-clown @kutsipie @zuevcs @totorotales-08 @meowgirl1 @sukunash0e @jadeloverxd @sirendyes @leahnicole1219 @lisa-takeshi @yehet-moi-ohorat @slowlyshycomputer @wasitforrevenge @webshoootrz @f1-hoff @chaeriescola @zayai @espressopatronum454

© teenidlegirl. don’t steal, plagiarize, or translate my work. ♡