#no spoilers but when I realized what the story was based on I literally felt my mind blow

[tweedlebean]

As someone who never saw the first Joker and gets excited at literally any musical theater reference I fuckin loved the Joker sequel

[mypoisonedvine]

𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰 (part I) | frater imperator x reader

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 | when the newly-appointed head of the clergy decides (or, has it decided for him) that it is time to marry, he neither has time for nor has to worry about the stress of dating... he can just take his pick.

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱 | 5.2k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 | for the series overall: smut (18+ only!!), arranged marriage, extreme religious themes, shy!reader, and lots of pining/slow-ish burn. for this chapter: mention of death and mostly just reader having anxiety... and a hint of my glove kink coming through but that's neither here nor there

this is probably not worth saying when it's already in the title but uh, rite here rite now spoilers. so sorry but it's literally what the fic is based on so I couldn't help it.

Frater Imperator… Frater Imperator…

He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the title, still.  It was a shock already when he first read the letter from his mother— on top of the shock of losing her, which was more than enough— but it still hadn’t quite sunk in.

He was so shocked by the promotion, in fact, that he’d been entirely unable to process the paragraph afterwards:

And please, do as I’ve been asking for quite some time and finally take a wife.  Or husband!  I’m not picky.  But you need someone beside you to keep things in order and keep you in line.

Yes, Copia’s mother had been encouraging him towards marriage for quite some time, even before he knew she was his mother; in some ways, it made more sense once that element came to light, though it did change the tone of her request quite a lot.  It also made him take it much more seriously.

And now, it could be argued that this was basically her dying wish.  He really had no other choice: he couldn’t put off a marriage any longer.

See, he’d never had a problem with the idea of it— he’d always imagined getting married some day, like most people seem to— but he wasn’t the luckiest in love.  A broken heart or two (or five) had convinced him to focus more on his work with the church, and to be fair, no one could deny that the work had paid off.  But, as they say, it gets lonely at the top: and now, he was the leader of the whole church, and he had no prospects or even romantic interests to speak of.

Fortunately, he had realized that because he was the leader, he didn’t need all that: all he had to do was say the word.

~

The announcement spread through the congregation like wildfire: the newly-minted Frater Imperator was going to get married.  The part they neglected to mention— and the part everyone wanted to know the most— was to whom.

There were already plenty of rumors, which you avoided because you felt they were all baseless.  Even within one day you’d heard three different stories about this mysterious future spouse, each more preposterous than the last: that he had a secret lover in the ministry he would wed, that he met a fan at a ritual and swept her off her feet, and that he had some previously unmentioned long-term girlfriend who wasn’t even in the church.

The wedding was less than a week away and all anyone knew was that everyone would be there.

Unfortunately, it was hard to ignore the gossip, even if you weren’t participating in it.  The night when it all began, you were trying to read while several of the other Sisters were giggling amongst themselves over their various theories.  “I wasn’t sure he’d ever marry,” someone admitted, “even though he could probably have anyone he wanted.”

“Not me,” one Sister announced smugly, “I never thought he was all that good-looking.”

“Oh please,” another scoffed incredulously, “you’d be on your knees in a second if you saw him at a ritual.”

“Besides, his looks aren’t the most important thing: this is the head of the clergy.  Whoever he marries is probably going to be spoiled rotten!”

They laughed excitedly, and though you’d been trying to tune it out, you couldn’t help but wonder about it as well.  The announcement had left so much unanswered, but the timing of it seemed too important to ignore.  Perhaps the clergy had forbidden the Papa to marry— you weren’t aware of any rule against it, since to your knowledge none of them had ever tried— and so he’d had to wait until his time was complete to be with the person he loved.  Perhaps it was the death of his mother that triggered it: at best, a renewed desire to find happiness and family when faced with a reminder of mortality; at worst, his mother hadn’t approved of his lover and only now was his final obstacle removed.

Ironically, after all those times you failed to ignore them before, it took the other Sisters several attempts to tear you out of your train of thought now: you blinked quickly and looked up from your book as you realized they were saying your name to get your attention.

“Hm?” you mumbled hazily when you looked at them.

“A message for you,” Sister Agnes informed you, leaning over to hand you a rolled parchment.  You weren’t sure if it was private or not, but everyone was staring at you in anticipation— in fact, you noticed then that their entire conversation had died down to silence— and so you awkwardly unrolled it and read the writing inside.

MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY:

Frater Imperator and the clergy request your presence in the upper sanctum imminently.

~

As soon as you descended the stairway back to the mail halls of the abbey, a gaggle of Sisters descended on you, wide-eyed and desperate for gossip.  “So?!” Sister Lilith asked expectantly, like the rest of her question should be obvious. “What was it about?”

“Was the whole clergy there?”

“U-uhm, all but Frater,” you replied shyly.

“What did they say?”

“Don’t be silly, ladies,” Sister Agnes scoffed, “it was obviously about the wedding.  What else would there be meetings about today?  They must want her to help in some way: communion, maybe?”

“Ooh!  A bridesmaid!” another in the group suggested excitedly.  “Do you know who he’s marrying?”

“Of course she knows!” someone answered for you.  “Who is it?  I was right, wasn’t I— it’s someone in the church!”

“Well… yes, I know who it is,” you mumbled, “but I… I’m not sure I’m permitted to speak on it.”

That was a lie, but you were too busy trying to process it all yourself to share it with anyone.

“Just tell us,” they begged.  “You won’t get in trouble!”

“The wedding’s only a few days away,” Sister Lilith pointed out, “so there’s no point in it being a secret now— and if I’m right about who it is, Sister Magdalena owes me a fifty.”

“I’m sure you didn’t guess it,” you promised her.

But the questions just kept coming: “It is a woman, though, right?” “Is it someone you know?  Wait, is it someone we know?” “

You realized that if you didn’t tell them now, they would either figure it out soon or be entirely blindsided at the ceremony.  Not to mention that if you refused to answer their questions, they’d just keep grilling you until they got something.  Your voice was actually quite feeble in that moment, not loud or strong enough to cut through all that chatter— but your words were enough to stop every question being thrown at you in its tracks.

“It’s me.”

You waited for them to react, but for a moment, they didn’t.

“I was asked to— to take the position,” you specified, putting it as vaguely as possible.  I’m going to marry Frater Imperator was just as true but was just as hard to say as it was to wrap your head around.

They erupted into a variety of reactions, all of which at least had some element of shock involved.  “I had no idea you were so close!” Sister Agnes exclaimed.

“We’ve… never even spoken…” you shyly replied, and the excitement quickly died down.  You weren't offended by their quizzical stares; if anything, it was a relief to see some of them looking as confused as you felt.

Why did he choose her? you caught a few whispers in the back of the group.  They're strangers? What makes her so special, then?

You wish you knew the answers to those questions.

That night as you laid in bed, you couldn’t do anything but replay the clergy meeting in your mind.  You’d felt so small across the table from all of them; you had no idea air could feel so heavy and stiff, matching the tense energy as you waited for them to explain why you’d been summoned.  As it all happened, you thought you would never forget every detail— but already you were losing your memory of what was said in what order, when exactly you realized you weren’t in trouble, how long it took you to believe what you were hearing.

Should we not court first?  Or have a meeting, maybe? You had suggested.  Frater does not feel it is necessary, a clergyman firmly replied.

And he’s not here now, because… you trailed off.

We all feel you should make this decision privately— in case his presence would sway you one way or another, a high Sister answered.

You could see the logic in that, and appreciated the concern for your uncoerced consent… except, of course, that this was an offer already impossible to say no to.  They’d successfully convinced you that you wouldn't be punished for turning down the proposal, but the marriage itself had already been announced: if you rejected the offer, someone else would surely take your place.  And for some reason, though the idea of going through with this terrified you, passing it up sounded even worse.  Even just imagining another woman taking her place at his side… why did it bother you so much? 

Because you will take your husband's title, but will not have decision-making power over the clergy, your title from henceforth shall be Sister Imperator Consortia.

It had a ring to it, but it didn’t feel like you— at least not yet.  It felt too… formal, too important.  Generally, people don’t join a convent and put on a habit because they’re intent on standing out, Satanic or not.

You told yourself that you needed to rest while you could, you had a busy week ahead starting with a dress fitting first thing tomorrow.  But still, you hardly got a moment of sleep that first night; part of you thought if you shut your eyes long enough, you would wake up to learn this had all been some bizarre dream.

You couldn’t decide, though, if you’d be relieved or heartbroken if you awoke.

~

In some ways, the wedding mass was quite similar to how you’d always pictured yours would be… except for the attendance.  You were sure you’d never met this many people in your life!  Even tonight, you wouldn’t be able to meet them all!

But, of course, this was the social event of the year, if not decade, for any church member or Satanist: it only made sense that there were throngs of people not only in the church but outside, waiting to see the new couple.

As you looked at yourself in the mirror, face obscured by the black veil, your eyes widened with the thought that you might be basically the Kate Middleton of Satanism in this moment…

Trading your opaque veil for one of lace, your loose and simple dress for a form-fitting and extravagant one made of dark red silk and sporting an over-the-top train, you wondered if you were going to be swallowed up by all this overwhelming intricacy, all this… pomp.

Taking a shaky breath, you tried not to imagine that everyone else watching you walk down the aisle would agree with you that you were horribly out of place.  You wished you’d had a chance to understand why you were chosen— to even just meet the high Frater, but the clergy had insisted several times that he was too busy with his new duties and planning the wedding.  Yes, your fiance was too busy planning your wedding to speak to you.  It was all horrifically ironic, and irritating.  So, as you turned and stepped out of the bridal suite, taking your bouquet of Dahlias from one of the Sisters assisting you, you thought to yourself if nothing else, at least I’ll get to finally try to understand all this by the end of the night.

The doors to the main hall opened for you, and there was no turning back.

It was a massive room, with easily a thousand people between you and the altar, but the very first thing your eyes fell on was Copia all the way at the other end of the aisle: the all black suit was no surprise, yet even from so far his white eye stood out prominently, and it was fixed on you.

Walking down the aisle took quite some time— you’d been reminded to take slow steps, as if you were just going to break into a sprint or something.  You tried to keep your eyes ahead, and ignore all the eyes on you: people seated on the furthest ends of the pews leaned and stood on their tiptoes to try to get a glimpse, but between all the encouraging smiles you caught an occasional glare of disapproval… it seemed plenty of your siblings were jealous of or disappointed by you one way or another.

Adjusting your clammy hands slightly, you realized you were unintentionally holding a concerningly tight grip on the Dahlia stems and the ribbon they were wrapped with; that said, you were very thankful for something you do with your hands.

Your heart was pounding by the time you reached the front of the hall, where the priest, the clergy, and your betrothed waited for you at the altar.  A Sister took your bouquet away to free your hands just as you passed the front row, and when you looked forward again there were only a few carpeted steps between you and… everything.

Copia surprised you by reaching forward— at first you weren’t sure what he meant by it, until you realized and quickly took his hand, letting him guide you up the stairs.  He was wearing those leather gloves you hardly ever saw him without, but even still, it was the first time you’d ever touched him; was his hand shaking?  You couldn’t tell, yet it almost felt like it.  Not to say that his grip wasn’t a strange sort of comfort in that moment; as he helped you up the stairs, you felt yourself relaxing slightly, despite being far from over with the hardest parts of this.

The first few minutes were just a matter of standing and waiting while the priest spoke: you wish you could say you remembered a damn word of it, he must’ve said something about love or marriages or… you know, all that.  Whatever it was, you were relieved when it was over and you could move on to the communion and prayer— the more familiar parts, and the parts where you got to kneel.  You were actually amazed that your legs hadn’t been noticeably wobbly so far, but they definitely could use a break.

In the time that your head was meant to be bowed in your prayer, you carefully opened your eyes and turned your head— just enough to take a peek at him quickly.  Well, your intention was to be quick about it, but once you started looking, you became distracted rather easily.  It was just that you'd never seen him so up close, you were sure: you'd never noticed the slope of his nose before, or how long his eyelashes were, or the shape of his lips in this profile—

Suddenly, as if he sensed your stare somehow, his eyes popped open and glanced over to return it.  He gave you a half smirk as your eyes widened and you snapped your gaze back down to your clasped hands.

“...and may they be joined in unholy matrimony for all eternity,” the priest ended his prayer: “Nema.”

“Nema,” you and Copia and the rest of the congregation replied.

The penultimate step of the ceremony was the exchanging of the rings, which were extended towards you both on a little velvet pillow— it was actually kind of adorable, you thought.

You figured he might take his gloves off for you to put the ring on, but it was apparently designed to fit around them; alternately, you had to suppress a startled reaction to your own ring as he gently placed it on your finger.  It was a massive ruby surrounded with onyx and black diamonds, intricate and completely unsubtle.  You knew Copia had expensive taste, and it was certainly in keeping with such a lavish wedding, but you wondered if it would look entirely out of place on you for daily wear.

I’ll wear this ring every day, forever, you reminded yourself; you breathed out shakily as his hands held yours so tenderly for one more moment after your ring was in place.

And then there was only one thing left.  The thing you’d been preparing yourself for since this morning— or perhaps since that fateful meeting with the clergy: the kiss.

It felt pretty melodramatic with him lifting your veil over your head, and it felt surreal to be in the part of this that you’d been imagining in hopes of preparing yourself.  Of course, it was a little different than how you’d pictured it, most of all the look on his face: it was subtle, but he didn’t seem as serious or muted as you were used to.  It wasn’t like he was grinning or anything— that would’ve actually been sort of creepy— but there was a small smile on his face.

You heard the priest say something about husband and wife but you weren’t paying attention, it all sounded distant somehow.  And maybe you sort of psyched yourself up for this moment too much— maybe you wanted to get the wedding over with, maybe you were afraid if you didn’t commit fully that you’d end up instinctively backing away when he came closer and you’d both be humiliated in front of all these people.

There were other possible explanations for what you did, but for whatever reason, you all but threw yourself onto him and kissed him.

It only lasted for a few seconds, but that moment may as well have been frozen in time; it took him a second to react, his hands settling near your waist— and it took the crowd a moment too, but they began to clap and cheer for you both at some point.

Truthfully, you weren’t thinking much about how it felt to kiss him… you couldn’t, really, without losing focus on the point of all this.  You weren’t here to have a nice kiss or meet someone you might like— you were here to serve a purpose, to fill a role.  And that’s not to say you weren’t grateful, but you weren’t going to let yourself be distracted from your duty to the church.

You backed away as suddenly as you’d latched onto him, and when you opened your eyes after scrunching them shut during the kiss, you saw him looking at you with a bit of shock in his expression.  Only then did you wince to yourself and wonder, was that too much?

He took your hand and turned to face the congregation, so you followed suit of course, and as he smiled and waved at them politely you were a little surprised to see them all standing and applauding.  It definitely felt like a bigger crowd from this side of the cathedral…

You were almost frozen for a second, until you felt his hand guiding you down— he was already on the first step down, so you quickly picked up your skirt and followed him.  You had wondered before if you would feel different walking back down the aisle with him, compared to when you processed on it alone.  You weren’t sure if you really felt married or something— what would that even feel like?— but you did feel different.

You felt better, actually— relieved, happier, you even caught yourself smiling at the crowd, but it was hard not to with how… energetic they were.  Despite not really knowing what to do with all that attention, you at least appreciated it, though it surely had little to do with you.  They were cheering for him because he’s Copia— Frater, the former Papa, heir of the Emeritus bloodline— and they were only cheering for you because you’re his wife.

And no, just because you understood that logically didn’t mean it felt at all real yet.

Frater Imperator and Sister Imperator Consortia! you could hear the announcement echoing through the hall, though it was distant compared to the claps and hollers.  You dared one glance at him by your side, thinking it might be easier than looking at this massive crowd around you, and found him already smiling at you; and with a warmth beginning to spread on your face, you let him guide you out of the doors, into the rest of the church submerged in nightfall. 

~

After a crowded spectacle like that, the quiet of his chambers was quite a relief.  So much so, actually, that it dampened some of that eerie, anxious feeling of being alone with Copia in his bedroom; it wasn’t quite as spacious as you would’ve assumed someone with his level of importance would have, but the ornate and luxurious furniture made perfect sense.

You were so caught up in taking it all in, almost entranced by the beauty all around you, that when he spoke it slightly startled you. 

“That kiss,” he said suddenly.  “Wow.”

It was just that his voice sounded so different like this: no microphone, no massive chapel, just one small room with stone walls.  There was a brief pause as he ran his gloved hand over his hair, blowing air quickly out of his mouth, and you realized you should probably respond somehow: for some reason, your mind struggled to accept that he was speaking to you directly.  “I’m sorry if I was too forward, I just—”

“No!  No, not at all,” he laughed thinly, “no, you did very well.  I’m sure today was… overwhelming for you.”

It felt good to just hear him confirm that: up until now, everyone in the clergy had been sort of acting like this was normal, never really acknowledging (let alone validating) your stress.

“If it’s any comfort, it was for me, too.  And I’ve had a lot more experience with large crowds than you,” he added.

You smiled a little; “Yes, that’s true— but it must be different here, at home.”

“Mm,” he nodded, pondering that for a second.  “It is.  But it’s preferable in some ways, too— like now, being able to come back to my own space.”

You envied that a bit; you were likely never to return to your chambers across the building, and while you didn’t necessarily enjoy sharing that space with a dozen other Sisters, it was probably easier than sharing a bed with just one man.

Before you could get a little too caught up in that train of thought, he spoke again.  “I can’t believe I haven’t already told you how exquisite you look in your dress,” he offered.

“O-oh, thank you,” you hummed, “I’m very fortunate, it’s a beautiful gown.”

“Of course it is, I picked it out,” he informed you proudly.  “I have excellent taste, no?”

“You do,” you agreed with a small laugh.

“And you liked the ceremony, I hope?”

“Yes, Papa,” you answered dutifully.  “I-I mean, Frater.”

“Force of habit,” he noticed, “literally.  But, I'm not Frater to you anymore, I'm your husband.”

That certainly made your heart skip a beat, even though you couldn’t imagine you had forgotten it in the last ten minutes.  “So what should I call you, then?” 

“Well, just my name should do,” he laughed slightly, seeming a bit surprised by the question.  “Spouses call each other pet names from time to time, would you like that?”

You might have been able to think about that idea more clearly if his hand wasn't on your waist, petting along the curve of it absent-mindedly.  “I… don't know,” you admitted, “I’ve never really tried it.”

“It will come naturally, I suppose,” he shrugged.

“So, it is a proper marriage then,” you realized.

“Hm?” 

You wondered if you shouldn’t have said it aloud.  “I-I just mean, I wasn’t sure at first… if maybe it was all political, you know,” you admitted.  “A marriage for show, not necessarily of a personal nature, I guess.”

“If it were political, I would have been paired up with someone from another church, I imagine,” he explained, one of his eyebrows raising.  “Did you think I chose you randomly?”

It felt pretty fucking random, you wanted to say, but that would have been a little bit harsh.  Instead, you sat down on the edge of the bed (which was only a little cumbersome with your dress) and he copied you, sitting just a few feet away.  “I’m so honored you chose me, Copia,” you began, feeling a little odd about using his name so casually, “but I just… I can’t imagine why.”

“The clergy asked me the same thing,” he recalled, “but they weren’t satisfied with my answer— I’m sure you won’t be, either.”

“Try me,” you encouraged.

“Well… I saw you once,” he explained slowly, “in a Mass— I gave you communion, do you remember that?”

“O-oh, yes, I think you’ve served me the elements a few times.”

“This was the first time,” he assured, “I know, because I thought to myself she must be new, if I’d seen her before I would’ve remembered it.”

You tried not to smile too wide, but you couldn't help some reaction.  You never imagined you'd left such an impression on him.

“You looked up at me, and you just looked so sweet… I couldn’t get the image out of my mind, you on your knees before me…”

You crossed your legs tightly.  “I mean, I remember that too, of course.  But it’s because it was the first time I saw you in your papal robes— I was just one of hundreds, I didn’t even know you could tell us apart.”

“Well, you stood out to me— maybe it was fate, eh?” he smirked.  But he was the head of the clergy, the most important man in the church: he made his own fate.

“And that’s it?” you realized sheepishly.  “You thought I was pretty, or something, a few years ago and so you married me?”

“Not pretty, no— pretty is cheap, cara mia.  You were enchanting.”

Was this flattery?  It seemed too perfect to be totally genuine, but hell, he was smooth.  

“I thought of you often,” he admitted, moving closer to you, “I imagined if I might have you to myself someday… and now I do.”

His gloved hand rested on your shoulder before carefully moving up to the back of your neck; he guided you towards him, slowly and patiently, looking into your eyes for a moment but taking longer to look at your lips. 

You swallowed nervously once before letting your eyes fall shut.

The kiss was soft at first, but grew more intense with every moment; he breathed a little heavier through his nose and you could feel it against your face.

His arms wrapped around you, and it should've felt nice, like a loving embrace; it sort of did, it just also started to make you feel claustrophobic, forcing you to fight the urge to squirm out of his grasp.

You wanted to give into it, you wanted to let yourself melt into his arms… but as he held you tighter and kissed you harder, your heart started to race in a way that wasn’t pleasant anymore.

Pulling back and pushing against him, you broke away and hoped he wouldn’t be angry with you or hurt by your rejection.  Fortunately, he let you move back as soon as you tried, and looked at you with an expression more of surprise than frustration.

“W-wait, I—” you mumbled nervously, willing your hands not to shake with nervousness.  “It’s not that I don’t— we’ve only just— I do find you attractive, but—”

“We don’t know each other very well,” he finished for you.  “It's alright, you seemed nervous already.”

“Yes,” you sighed, smiling with relief.  “I just thought… maybe we could get to know each other better first, before we…”

“I didn't expect you to be so shy,” he noticed with a soft laugh.  You were keeping close watch on his tone and, from what you could tell, he thankfully didn't sound too disappointed.

“I-I’m usually not,” you assured, “maybe compared to some other Sisters…”

“Well, that's a low bar,” he noted with a raised brow, “but anyhow, it doesn't bother me.  I'm happy to wait until you're… more comfortable.”

You smiled a little, glancing away briefly.  “Thank you,” you began, barely managing to stop yourself from calling him by a title again.

“I just hope you'll stay in my bed tonight— it's your bed, too, you know.  Nothing else has to happen.”

“Of course,” you smiled, “I'd like that.” 

He nodded shortly at you and moved as if he was going to get up, but you opened your mouth impulsively to speak— even if nothing came out right away— and he stopped.

“But, um— you could kiss me again,” you suggested quickly, before you lost the nerve.  He smiled, with a certain sparkle in his eyes that made you squirm slightly against the bed.

His hand brushed under your chin gently, lifting your face until you were forced to look right up at him.  “If it would please you,” he returned with a purr.

Swallowing thickly, you nodded; “Yes,” you insisted softly.

This kiss was slower, but no less intoxicating: he touched you like you were the most fragile thing, and the movements of his lips seemed to gently guide your own.  You heard yourself sigh against him, and his thumb started to pet your jawline tenderly.

You remembered that moment clearer now, the one he described to you before. Taking communion from him, kneeling under him, waiting with an open mouth for him to deliver the mana to your tongue… the cool golden chalice against your lip and the bittersweet wine…

His other hand delicately landed on your lower back, and you opened your mouth wider, letting his tongue graze against yours.

When he pulled back, you found yourself leaning forward just for a second, chasing him for more.  And he obviously noticed, it was clear from the way he smiled down at you.  You wondered if he would indulge your desire for more— for a second, you imagined he might decide that you were more ready than you'd let on and take you right then and there.  A little brutish, yes, but the idea tickled a certain corner of your brain.

But, no, he sat up straight and let out a short breath.  “I'll get ready for bed,” he announced.  “You should too— you've had a long day.”

You nodded back; “Yes, Papa,” you returned compulsively once again.  “Damn it!”

“It seems you have a lot of new things to get used to,” he laughed.

More than you know, you thought to yourself as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

[lovers-tucked-into-a-quiet-cafe]

141 & Rabbit Headcanons [IKYLHT]

Series Masterlist | Prev: Personnel Files | Next: Chapter One

Please Note: This is my attempt at a spoiler-free introduction to the characters and their dynamics. This is meant to be read before the first chapter, and thus must be vague at points. THIS DOES CONTAIN SOME MW3 SPOILERS

-

141 + Rabbit Dynamics:

Soap:

Rabbit's ride or die right here, twin flame type of energy

First person she actually enjoyed the company of at the UK base while on assignment alongside the rest of the Demon Dogs

Subsequently the first to worm his way into her heart- sinks his hooks into her side and refuses to leave (not to worry, you'd have to pry her off of him, anyways)

Runs into her coming out of the mess hall, sees 'Highwater' stitched into her uniform and realizes this was the soldier Sparks had told him about

Oh yeah, that month long prank war with Shane 'Shitbag' Sparks (yes, she'd come up with that one herself) that the rest of the Demon Dogs decided to join in on? He made sure to tell Soap, because why not recruit the demolitions expert in his task of torturing his sister-in-arms?

Soap immediately decides on implementing her rename. 'Oh, you already have a callsign that half the base refers to you by? One that acknowledges your military expertise and the nine grueling years you've dedicated to the service? That's weird, cuz your name is Rabbit now and that's that' type mentality

She knew the reference immediately, hands twitching with the urge to unsheathe her spare knife because there was only one person that'd broadcast the story

Goddammit, Sparks, I will shiv you

"Excuse me? Where'd you hear that from, Sergeant?"

"A good friend never tells. I could always think of calling you somethin' worse?"

"Call me something worse and I'll have you written up for disrespecting a superior officer"

"Understood, Rabbit" said with a fucking grin

Despite being the one to rename her, literally never uses her callsign once he declares them best friends

Calls her Bunny or Bun, which surprisingly did help his efforts in gaining her [platonic] love and affection

Spent damn near every waking moment with her, which unsurprisingly did help his efforts in gaining her [romantic] love and affection

Sparring? Let me wrap your hands

Going out? Here, I'll zip your coat

Smoking? C'mon Bun, tell me what's bothering you, I can help

It was the little, everyday acts of love kindness from Soap that had her hooked on the feeling of being in his presence

So you can imagine how devastating it'd felt for the both of them when the special unit had been called back to the states

Even with promises to call and text and facetime, the feeling of his heart sinking to his stomach made him realize there were feelings he harbored towards Rabbit that went beyond the typical bond between soldiers

But orders are orders, and he'd been sure to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek before ushering her up the ramp and onto the heli waiting to rip her away from him

Not that either admitted it to the other at the time, but they'd both been teased to no end about their 'special friendship' by the rest of their units, cheeks warming yet refusing to deny the accusations

Like true friends, though, they did kept their promise

If it wasn't hours of texting it was calls, only skipping days when on mission but always sure to inform the other of their departure beforehand

It was hard most days. Seeing the other come back from days or even weeks of no-contact with new cuts and bruises

It was especially hard, though, after Verdansk

Soap had beaten himself up pretty hard after the whole ordeal with Makarov- the guilt of not being able to save those people in the airport, the shame of losing his cool in front of his superiors, the regret of not just avenging those people by shooting the man and facing the consequences later- he'd talked through his entire range of emotions with her despite the distance

Then, because the universe always yearned for cruelty, she got the assignment

Covert operation

Ciudad Victoria

Two days, wheels up at 0400

Now her home base had been Pendleton since basic, and if there's one thing the San Diego base requires, it's soldiers willing to cross the border and sweat their asses off for hours on end scouting some target for shit pay and no reward

She'd done it before, six months turned into twelve turned into eighteen until eventually she'd been volunteering to go, years under her belt and quickly moving up the ranks, Mexico now a second home in her mind. Anything to get away from that place

But Victoria? That was a city she'd only seen on mission reports, only heard of by way of interrogation

But orders are orders, and he'd been sure to tell her he'd miss her before ushering her to dump her phone in her locker and get onto the heli waiting to rip her away from him again

Soap didn't get a call for quite a while after that

His first contact, actually, hadn't even been Rabbit

It was Sparks

Locker pried open with permission from Griggs (not that he waited even a second to be granted it), he'd charged her phone and called the one person he thought deserved to know

"MacTavish? It's Sparks. Highwater, she's... she's MIA. Entire task force was found slaughtered. An ambush, I think. We don't- we're not entirely sure yet. Griggs can't get a straight answer. The whole things fucked, we can't- the area's got it's own governing body. They haven't... they've searched but they haven't found a body. We're not calling it until they do. I'm sorry, kid."

Two months

Two months Soap cried until his lungs spasmed

Two months Soap cried until his head ached and eyes burned

Two months Soap cried to his mother about the woman he loved

Two months until he got the call that damn near restarted his heart

"Soap? Soap, we found her. We have her, she's being taken to medical. We found her, kid."

Johnny's not sure he remembers a time he'd cried harder. He'd like to say it was when Sparks had first called him, but even then, he held onto some hope she'd made it out 'like you always do'

That'd been their promise to each other, and he vividly recalls telling Price that as he sobbed over the man's shoulder in relief

She'd been put on medical leave, forced to wave goodbye to her family as they flew off to Urzikstan without her

It was at that point- hearing her cry over the phone about how useless she'd felt being left behind, how she'd failed the only family that had ever truly cared about her- that he realized a trip to the states was in dire need

Entered the U.S. friends, exited the U.S. partners

Johnny's a man that focuses on the positives

He doesn't talk about those two months. Not to his therapist, not to his ma, not to Price

He focuses on the fact that his torment is over, he focuses on the woman laying her head on his shoulder and tapping her boot against his on the shaky helicarrier

Because that's all that matters to him. The little moments between missions where they can focus on something other than saving the world for a moment

It's a type of love, a type of dynamic the man had never experienced before

'Intimate' is the best word to describe it

Will 'accidentally' detonate an old grenade taken into the training grounds to 'see if it still worked', just to see the other's eyes light up in a sort of pyromaniac excitement

Will also take up an entire couch quietly lounging, arms wrapped around each other under a shared blanket because 'it's a low energy type of day'

It's all or nothing- completely feral, unhinged 'I'll request the jailcell across from you' behavior or soft, domestic bliss

No words need be exchanged for that energy to shift- just a subtle glance and soft smile, a type of telepathy easily mastered after four years of being together

And Johnny wouldn't have it any other way

Ghost:

Initially doesn't even want to address her by Rabbit

He couldn't take the callsign seriously, especially after realizing this was the woman Soap had been babbling about in Verdansk

He knew more about her personal life than he did her military career, and he'd read her file back to front twice. Well, what hadn't been redacted, anyways

Decides he'll stick to Gun, as requested, but only when necessary. Better than Rabbit, at least

But after Soap's little confession while her comms are down in Las Almas? Now Gun just won't do. Decides to stick with Darling until he's figured out a better one. Knows she won't mind, anyways

Calls her Lovie a small handful of times, blink and you'll miss it, and it's only in a NSFW context ;) soft!dom Ghost supremacy

Settles on Tapeti once the dust settles and he knows he's wormed his way into her heart the same way Soap had

They're close in a way he can't say about anyone else

Does he love his team? Of course

Would he lay his life down for any one of them the second the opportunity presented itself? Also yes

But there's something about shared trauma that bonds the soul

Neither talk about it much

It's honestly easier to use Soap as the go-between on a lot of things

She's already told him, already bared her soul for him to see in that deserted apartment, and Simon's grateful Johnny omits certain heart wrenching details when he runs his hands over her scarred back, runs his hands over the raised tattoos that cover the remnants of Victoria

He doesn't yearn to know the specifics, most days he's not sure he wants to know at all

He'd made peace with his demons a long time ago, had to in order to survive, but he knew it wouldn't be so easy forgiving what'd been done to her

It wasn't hard to infer, anyway

They have a calendar, a pocket sized one with a little magnet attached that hangs on their fridge

It was Ghost's idea, after one of those days when the shakes were debilitating and she couldn't keep her food down

He'd set the container of soup from the deli across their flat on the counter, pulling Soap away from her curled up side and showing him the dollar store purchase

He didn't explain, just scribbled out a few dates and passed the calendar over

So Johnny took the pen and started scratching out days

He didn't explain all of them, only murmured the easy ones like 'her mother's birthday' or 'her comrades death date' or 'Victoria'

There's a deeper understanding there, between the three of them, and if there's one thing Simon can attest to while stomping out the butt of his cigarette onto Grave's false tombstone, it's his appreciation for the man's betrayal in Las Almas that lead him into the couple's outstretched arms

Gaz:

Best boy, here

The baby of the group, a few years younger than Rabbit who shares a birthyear with Soap

Uses that to his advantage

Calls her Officer Hopps on more than one occasion, not afraid to more commonly shorten it down to just 'Hopps'

Always in a playful loving manner, not that it matters when Rabbit's glare quickly follows

Also thinks it's funny to call her 'Gunnery Hopps' when in the presence of other soldiers, tries to play it off as a genuine tongue slip despite his wide grin proving otherwise

Again, uses his baby privilege to his advantage, whipping out the puppy eyes and small kisses that has Rabbit's glare melting into a soft smile

Typically sticks with Love- partially because he's a true Birmingham boy and the term of endearment comes naturally to him- mainly because it keeps her wound around his finger

Starts a fight by betting Price 20 quid he could cut a chunk out of Soap's mohawk? He's running to hide behind her, basking in her warmth and sticking a tongue out at Johnny over her shoulder

Smug as all hell, knows he's been deemed the favorite and is sure to remind the other men of it constantly

He'll tell them it's 'just because she loves me more, mate' but they all know the real reason

It's his calm, level-headed personality and natural ability to lead that endears him to her so easily

She never questions his judgement because what he lacks in years he makes up for in everything else by tenfold

And he looks up to Rabbit immensely- he may not initially know the finer details of her military experience, just general war stories Sparks and the rest of the Demon Dogs had told him in Urzikstan when she'd been out on medical leave, but he does know what being a 0251 MOS entails, knows he'll never come across a better Gunnery Sergeant even if he retires at 80

Aims to become a GySgt after seeing her serve as their unit's operations chief, working with superior officers on training, operations, and tactical advising

Asks a million questions and- though he'd never admit it- keeps a log of their answers in his notes app. He's just organized like that

She noticed anyways, what with his trusting nature and big heart (he gladly passed over his phone passcode within the first week of them being official), and it was actually that notes app list of all the little throw away tidbits about her role on the team that led her to write his letter of recommendation

That’s just the dynamic they have, they bring out the best in each other in every way, even when they don’t think it’s possible given the circumstances

He's only two years younger, and yet he feels so lacking in experience when they're thrown into red-stained chairs with threadbare bags over their heads

"You been tortured before, Gaz?"

"No."

"That's good. Let's keep it that way. Stay quiet and keep your eyes forward."

He remembers blanching at her nonchalant tone, the way she talked as if she'd done this a hundred times before.

She has, he realizes, and he feels a sort of naive embarrassment wash over him when he really thinks about it

Interrogation and Debrief Specialist, he thought, you don't earn that title by just sitting and reading about it

He didn't have much time to sit and process that thought before the men were reentering the dark room

He's unable to fathom how she'd kept her breathing so calm, refrained from letting out a single yell or grunt or sniffle until the men had slammed the metal door on their exit

It was hard for him, returning to base after what had transpired

It didn't sit right with him- the fact that he'd allowed himself to sit there and let the woman he'd been falling in love with be beaten within an inch of her life

But she'd comforted him, face swollen and leg wrapped, knocking her boot into his with a smile

He'd knocked his boot back into hers, and decided from there on out she'd know exactly how much she meant to him

Price:

The only member of the 141 to actually refer to her by her callsign. Captain's professionalism and all that.

Throws it out the window the second he deems necessary- which is quite often- resorts to Sweetheart

He knows more about her than anyone else, Johnny the only exception, and that isn't something he takes lightly

He'd read the reports. The redacted ones. He knew what happened after Victoria, he'd been the one to okay her transfer, to accept doing a favor for the Demon Dogs after their good work in Urzikstan and promising he'd 'keep an eye on her'

He understands the vulnerability in that fact, and is sure to do everything in his power to prove to her he's someone she can trust, even after she's told him time and time again he's done more than enough to prove his loyalty

Fortunately, years of hearing about each other via Soap and the Demon Dogs proved useful once they'd finally met at the top of that wall guarding Alejandro's base, easily falling into a sort of mutual understanding of each other

It helped that he was a natural patriarch, the glue holding the team together, ensuring they worked as a well oiled machine both on and off base

Soap vouched for Price and that was all the convincing Rabbit needed. So when Price vouched for Ghost and Gaz? It felt instinctual to trust the men wholeheartedly

Scary as it was initially, Price just knew. Simple as that, he knew what the team needed and exactly how to go about it, and she trusted that

He was arguably the most experienced in navigating trauma, and that definitely lent a hand to the comfortability of the team

He’s perfected the art of understanding each of the members of the task force and it’s something Rabbit didn’t realize she yearned for until she had it

He’s become the physical embodiment of her safe space in a way she never thought was possible. She breathes easier when he’s in eyesight, the tension drops from her shoulders when he’s near

Despite being one who only rarely accepted physical affection from anyone other than Soap, Rabbit named Price 'Seat of the Year', and that's meant quite literally

Cuddles are mandatory team bonding. He doesn't make the rules (yes he does)

Arguably the most giving partner on the face of the planet

Is happy to lean back in his chair and cut off the blood supply to his legs if it means Rabbit is soothed by the way his hands run over her arms and scratch at her scalp, perched on his lap and quickly drifting off to sleep as he presses light kisses onto the junction between her neck and shoulder

His brain is constantly alerting his body of his need to protect and provide. It'd still happen even if he'd never approved her transfer, that's just the kind of man he is, but he wouldn't have been nearly as emboldened without her there

Gaz yawns in the midst of completing a mission report? He's already tossing the man over his shoulder and forcing him to rest for once

Soap lets out the quietest sigh of pain when that one muscle in his shoulder starts twinging again? He's already pushing the man to sit and rounding the couch to dig his strong hands into the stubborn muscle

Ghost's stomach lets out singular growl? Guess that stack of paperwork can be finished tomorrow, it's now his personal mission to ensure the man has eaten a nutritious meal that checks off every micro and macro nutrient possibly needed to ensure health and prosperity in that beefy body

Perfectly content to love and love and love for absolutely nothing in return besides seeing his team happy and healthy

Unbeknownst to him, he very quickly charms his way into her heart with his thick thighs caring nature, dilf energy warm smiles, and ofc the boonie hat

-

General Character Headcanons:

Rabbit:

-As mentioned in the Personnel Files, Rabbit is a Gunnery Sergeant and a 0251 MOS [Interrogator/Debrief Specialist]

-Gunnery Sergeant is her rank- serving as her unit's operations chief, working with superior officers on training, operations, and tactical advising

-0251 is her job code [MOS]. 0251 specifically means being an Interrogator/Debriefer in the US Marine Corps. This job involves collecting information/intelligence from human sources by means of interrogation, debriefing, and screening. Typical duties are the screening and interrogation of enemy POWs, line crossers, refugees, and other displaced persons, exploiting foreign language documents, and participating in noncombatant evacuation operations

-A common requirement for this job is being at the very least bilingual, and it's canon here that Rabbit speaks Spanish alongside English. With that said, many apologies to those reading this that speak Spanish because I'm using translation websites (yes I disappoint my Mexican grandparents every day)

-Rabbit is a Demon Dog, but was not in Urzikstan due to medical leave. She has direct permission from the US Marine Corps, SAS, and Price to be stationed in the UK base 'on loan' as a Demon Dog since they are part of the Coalition, led by the CIA's best Station Chief Kate Laswell :D

-Again, as shown in the Personnel Files, Rabbit does not have many character descriptors listed. I'm trying my best to make her as inclusive as I possibly can while still flushing out her character. I don't like the self-insert '[h/c] [e/c]' format, so I just avoid it all together

-Rabbit is an only child

-Also it's not really about Rabbit per say but in my story Griggs is a Captain. He leads the Demon Dogs and therefore holds a higher rank that Rabbit. It makes sense to me in this story that he'd be of similar age and rank as Price

Soap:

-I’ve seen a few people say based on his accent Soap is likely from Glasgow but unfortunately I’ve only been to Edinburgh so we’re using our creative liberty here and saying that's where he's from plz and thank u <3

-Johnny is the baby of the family with 3 older sisters. His poor mother was pregnant for damn near four years straight

-He's close with his entire family, but especially his mother and youngest sister

-Also I'm not killing him in this story. I wrote a good portion of it pre-MW3 and that campaign sucked so I'm ignoring it :)

Ghost:

-Simon is from Manchester. Yeah yeah yeah ik there’s a whole thing ab his accent and yada ya but my first London pub-watch rugby game was Leeds vs Wigan, so we’re sticking with canon here

-Wigan is in Greater Manchester so I like the headcanon that Ghost’s father was a ManUnited football fan so teen!Simon said ‘oh fuck that’ and instead chose to take the 45 minute train to go watch rugby in another city

-I'm basing a lot of his character off of both the comics and game, however there is one thing to note. In the comics, 'Sparks' is one of the soldiers that assists in getting Simon's family killed. This is not the same Sparks I refer to in this story. Shane Sparks is a Demon Dog, and I'm writing in his character for specific plot devices. He'll likely be completely OC since I just grabbed his basic profile off the character wiki.

Gaz:

-Haven’t heard any confirmation on where Gaz is from but my love Elliot Knight is from Birmingham so ding ding ding, we have a winner

-Only child, the absolute pride and joy of his parent's life. He's a total mama's boy and it was largely her good morals and outlook on life that steered him in the direction of wanting to better the world

Price:

-Liverpool. Again, I’m not sure if there’s confirmation as to where Price is from but my love ( yes I can have two >:| ) Barry Sloane is from Livahpewl soooooo

-Semi-sad headcanon for Price here. Idk why but I feel a strong pull to the idea that his parents have passed, despite him only being 36 in my story, putting them somewhere in their 60's

-On a happier note, I also like the idea that John is an older brother, so we're going with that

-

<3

[justalia]

belief

this post takes inspiration from my journey and my unconscious “positive” manifestations.

i found manifestation back in 2020, didn’t think much of it to be honest and didn’t even attempt manifesting anything because the advice i found was to affirm and persist and laziness got over me. i couldn’t be bothered to do all that. i tried once ngl, i failed and never picked it up again until 2022.

in 2022 tiktok started to popularize this shit with weird quirky methods and at the time i started to think again about an sp. i randomly desired her but we had went no contact since 2020 and i wasn’t really that bothered by her presence/absence. i started to miss her and i would ALWAYS (i know you do this too) make up scenarios that implied we were together.

now this wasn’t conscious so i wasn’t thinking i was manifesting her, i didn’t give a shit mostly cause i did not wanna reach out to her and i just wanted to make up my silly little scenarios with no consequences.

putting the scenarios to the side i started to rediscover manifestation and found the whisper method on tiktok, long story short i did it and the next day she reached out to me all of a sudden. it was so random and it made no sense based on the method i did but i took it as a conscious manifestation because i had done that method.

spoiler: i was in the state of being in a relationship with her and the 3D reflected that.

this happened again in november, i set the intention to manifest something and i scripted it. i was constantly checking the 3D and then i decided i was done with it and i would just make up my silly little scenarios about it in my head.

i had so much fun with my imagination but i didn’t even think i was manifesting shit left and right because of it. i thought the methods were doing that for me. i thought that i just had to script it as it had already happened and it would manifest. i didn’t know what states were, i had no idea what law of assumption was in the first place.

this being said you can see that i always had the habit of experiencing my desire in imagination if i couldn’t get it in the outside. i always used imagination like a kid and to be honest that did manifest some good things in my life.

the fact that it wasn’t conscious tho didn’t allow me to maintain my manifestation when it came because i was focusing on the outside reality and didn’t recognize that it was my own doing, i didn’t recognize that i was the cause of everything.

this leads me to what i wanna talk about: belief.

reading edward art’s series led me to realize what was so difficult for me in the first stages of my journey of conscious manifestation.

i started studying law of assumption and everyone talked about belief: “believe it to be true” “believe you have it” “believe imagination”.

all these things confused me so much because i was like “what? that’s crazy, why do i have to act delusional, i manifested shit before and it wasn’t this hard”.

i was just finding out the mechanism of what i always had done in the past without even realizing it.

“give it to yourself in imagination”

i swear to god if only i understood before how easy this shit was supposed to be i would’ve saved myself from a lot of heartache and troubles. i was so stressed while learning and applying the law the first times that i literally didn’t get my period for a month because of how stressed i was lmao.

and it is crazy how i always used to do it yet i found the law to be so difficult to understand at first.

now my perspective is that belief is too strong of a word, belief is just a feeling, something you feel to be true IN IMAGINATION. it’s not about the outside. IT NEVER IS. it never was and it never will be. i thank edward art because he was able to put into words what i was struggling with and when i read his series i felt understood.

belief is to strong of a word. belief is just a feeling, something i feel to be true in imagination. nothing more nothing less. saying “in imagination” i do not want to imply there is a waiting period between the 3D and the 4D being reflected, cause to be honest i don’t believe it and i’ve not experienced all the time.

yes. all you have to do to “manifest” i know it is real in imagination and discard the outer world because why would it matter if you can have exactly what you want in imagination NOW?

all is mind, there’s no reason at all to want/need the 3D to reflect in order to feel your desire to be yours.

when i unconsciously manifested with fulfillment in imagination i did not think about believing anything, i simply felt what i wanted to feel. i satisfied myself with the only way i knew: daydreaming.

but alia, i daydream all the time why doesn’t it manifest?

because you daydream then wait for something to happen. when i unconsciously manifested something just by imagining having it i wad not EVER focused on getting it from the outside, i did not give a shit about the outer world and just enjoyed imagination because i wanted to and because i could. the key is: I HAD NO EXPECTATIONS. I WAS NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM MY IMAGINAL ACTS. I WAS NOT DOING ANYTHING TO CHANGE ANYTHING.

i was simply feeling what i wanted to feel.

read that again.

i was simply feeling what i wanted to feel. i was craving an experience and i decided to experience it in imagination. i thought to myself “well i can’t do anything to have it physically i don’t give a shit at this point i’m just gonna satisfy myself with imagination”

was i worried about:

is imagination enough? is it gonna reflect? is it gonna manifest? do i have it? am i doing enough?

NO I WAS NOT.

why? because i wasn’t trying to get anything in the first place!!!

i accepted that i could only have it in imagination and that i couldn’t do anything to manifest it because “the universe” would take care of it. (those were my beliefs at the time).

now i’m grateful to have found the law because i was not aware of how limitless we are and of the fact that circumstances did not matter at all and i could manifest literally ANYTHING i wanted. ANYTHING. i was still tied to logic before studying law of assumption so i didn’t fulfill every single desire i got but only the ones that were “realistic” like an sp.

and at the end of the day what even is realistic?

is manifesting an sp realistic? i don’t think so.

if you put logic into the game is it even really realistic to manifest someone to be in a relationship with you? probably not.

so if logic doesn’t apply anywhere at all in law of assumption and manifestation why would i worry about “making it happen”? all i have to do is enjoy having it in imagination.

the rest will follow like everything does.

i do not believe in the fact that there’s a time lag, i simply accept that i cannot know how imagination will be expressed and that includes the when because i don’t know which bridge of incidents i will take part in, i believe the 3D reflects imagination instantly in ways we don’t know anything of.

redirecting to the main topic:

belief is not something you should struggle with, you just have to FEEL what you want to be true in imagination, feel that you have it now, imagine yourself to have it/be it and imagine it in the most amazing way possible so that you WANT to go back to it, not because it manifests but because it is exactly what you want.

it is not your job to make anything happen on the outside, you can’t and you never will be able to.

you cannot experience it on the outside. accept this now and fulfill your desire in imagination now.

[aiiria17]

Anyone else underwhelmed by Sonic 3?

First note - I'm not trying to say you're wrong for enjoying the movie but just wanted to express how I felt. In fact I also liked a lot about the movie which I'll also mention

Second note - I absolutely love Sonic Adventure 2 and play it almost daily so it's DEFINITELY not that I'm not into the topic.

Third note - Spoilers!!!

Okay so there's two main things that bugged me about the movie, starting with the biggest one:

1 - Shadow

I LOVE Shadow as a character. I literally finished Shadow 05 just cause I adore his character so much. The arc he goes down in processing the rage he feels following Maria's death/his awakening is so good and has so much love and care put into it. I don't think movie Shadow is as strong of a character as the Shadow I love and obsess over.

First of all one thing I realized is just he's very quiet. Like at the end of the movie I was thinking "did I like Keanu as a voice for Shadow" and then I realized I don't feel there was enough for me to really base it off of. Like most of Shadow's scenes are him silently sitting there and observing and its just... underwhelming? That's how I felt about his character: I wanted a lot out of him and the script just didn't deliver much at all.

Shadow's relationship to Maria is shown well but kind of thrown at the wayside until the moon scene. Like honestly it feels like all he thinks about for her is revenge when that doesn't feel right in the context of the movie. In Adventure 2 the deal was Shadow having to remember Maria's wish that he valued but that doesn't exist here he just kinda realizes "oh wait I don't have to kill people" and then goes super and does stuff.

Genuinely as a huge certified Shadow lover this is just an underbaked iteration of the character that really made me feel like the movie doesn't deliver a satisfying end to his arc, at least to me. Like the moon scene is his big character climax but after that there's really nothing other than "he saves the world." I'd like him to like reflect? One of the most memorable parts of Adventure 2 is seeing Shadow cascade down to Earth. ("Maria, this is what you wanted right? This is the promise I made to you").

Basically movie Shadow is a weaker version of game Shadow and that's sad.

2 - Gerald Robotnik

The other big new character is so, so bad. I don't think the writers had a single idea for what to do with Gerald. Like he's the super evil real bad guy who wants to destroy the world but also very silly! And it's not just that he was like pretending to be silly to manipulate Ivo there is a scene after their betrayal (not really sure who technically betrayed who by definition but whatever point is they're fighting) where Gerald is spanking Ivo and like it's supposed to be silly and why can't this movie just have a consistent tone.

Ivo being silly is one thing; he's already off his rockers from the start it's his whole character. Gerald's goofiness feels so so forced and while that is arguably part of the point it goes beyond just "he was manipulating Ivo." I actually think I would have liked the movie way more if I didn't hate this character so much he's just such an ill-fitting illogical part of the story that I can't understand. Like why not just do Adventure 2 and have Eggman work with Shadow it would more sense and you could still do a lot and not have this mess to deal with.

Okay now I'm going to quickly mention things I liked but it's late so I don't want to write too much more and your time is valuable (thanks for reading if you are I appreciate it)

Good Thing 1 - Team "Sonic"

Shoulda been Team Tails he's the mvp.

Honestly their relationship in this movie was perfect. Everything felt right and natural and they all worked great and had amazing chemistry and look my pfp is Tails for a reason I'm always happy to see my boy succeed. I hope Knuckles can be treated a tad more seriously but I also do find Knuckles funny so I'm not mad (I'm like the one actual fan of the Knuckles show).

Good Thing 2 - Stone

Stone went from "I love this side character" to "this is a very good side character." He finally shows nuance to his relationship with Robotnik and it makes him seem way more interesting. He truly does want Robotnik to see him as a friend (if not more let's be real here) and there's an actual conflict between the two of them and it feels great to see happen! I really liked the Eggman message to him at the end it felt like a great end for both?(more on that next paragraph) of their characters.

So I think Eggman is maybe dead dead. If they get Jim Carrey I think it will be as a fake Eggman (my guess is Metal Sonic is going to do some Sonic Heroes shenanigans next). I do think they can do more with Stone. I mean what does he do now? I would actually like to know. Lowkey a series with him and Shadow would rule (all he really has to do is offer Shadow inner peace guac this time)

Briefly I think the post-credits is exciting and very expected. Feels like an obvious direction. My surprise bet, as previously mentioned is that it won't be Sonic CD (Amy seems too able to care for herself for that to be the case and that's awesome) and more a Sonic Heroes (where Metal Sonic shines more anyways).

Genuinely thanks for reading I just wanted to express this but it's almost midnight and I drove a lot today for this movie so I'm sleepy. bye bye

[ideas-on-paper]

Lies of P fan theories - a retrospective (1st anniversary special)

It's been one year now since Lies of P's release, and as someone who has been part of the community since 2022 (joining after the Gamescom trailer absolutely swept me off my feet), it's been amazing to see how invested people were in Lies of P from the get-go, and how much creativity the game has inspired in fans. From the start, we had amazing creations such as fanart, fanfics, and cosplays - and of course, a whole lot of fan theories.

While, naturally, a lot of fan theories people had before the release are debunked right now, I think it'd be fun to take a look back at what people were expecting the story to be like, and how those theories from back then compare to the final game. For that purpose, I will share my own theories that I had pre-release, as well as some from various other people (unfortunately, I lack the sources in most cases, but I’ll do my best to provide credit where they’re from). So, strap in and get ready for a special trip down memory lane! :-)

[Lies of P spoilers!]

Ergo and the Petrification Disease

One big mystery that was set up as early as the first gameplay footage was the nature of Ergo - all we knew from tool tips people painstakingly picked out (kudos to you, btw <3) was that it was some sort of power crystal that was used as an energy source for puppets and responsible for Krat's wealth, but that also brought a curse with it. People on the official Lies of P Discord server were puzzling over what exactly Ergo is, when I came up with a somewhat eccentric theory: that Ergo is crystallized life force itself.

My basis for this theory was essentially the movie “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (which I’m a big fan of).

[Fair warning, I'm gonna spoil the main plot right here.]

The movie also features a huge, cyan blue crystal (originally a fragment of a comet) that is located in the lost city of Atlantis and believed to be an energy source by a team of explorers. However, as it turns out, it's much more than that: It is the literal life force of the Atlantean people, and if it's taken away from the city, it would mean certain death for all of them. (Which doesn't stop some of the money greedy explorers from trying to do it anyway.) Furthermore, after I became familiar with gestalt consciousnesses, I realized that the crystal possesses a few characteristics of those as well: The crystal has a mind of its own, and right before Kida merges with it in the movie, she whispers “mother” in Atlantean, suggesting she felt her dead mother's presence when the crystal chose her. This could be because her mother merged with the crystal completely (Kida eventually returns with her bracelet, after all), but since the King of Atlantis does say “the crystal thrives on the collected emotions of all who came before us”, it’s highly likely that it is, in fact, a human gestalt intelligence of their deceased ancestors.

[spoilers end]

So when I heard about Ergo being an energy crystal, this was my first idea as well: pure, crystallized life force of dead people. (Also, when I saw the blue color, my brain just went like “Ergo = Atlantis crystal”. xD)

When I shared this theory on the LoP server, one person in particular - named Oxwutex, if I remember correctly (greetings to you if you ever read this ;-) ) - took a liking to it, and together, we spun this theory a little further. They said they could imagine that people tried to refine the Ergo further, which is where the corruption waste in the factory comes from - however, refining something like a life force crystal which is already perfect could have disastrous consequences. I followed this up with my own theory, surmising that if this were the case, the corruption waste and the purified Ergo might represent two sides of the human soul: the vices and the virtues. (A lot of my early theories were based on this dualism, since the distinction between “good” and “evil” actions in the original fairy tale of Pinocchio is pretty prominent.)

Since there were hints that Ergo was responsible for the Petrification Disease early on, I had come up with the idea that the disease was the result of people coming into contact with pure Ergo, leading to a sort of “overpurification”, while I assumed that corrupted/impure Ergo caused the Puppet Frenzy/violent behavior. For me, this was very appealing on a thematic level as well, since it would've symbolized that both vices and virtues are present in every human being. If it was just the vices, we'd turn into feral monsters, but if a person only had virtues, when flaws are the very sign of life... well, you could question whether they are even alive anymore. Metaphorically speaking, they would be made of stone. (It’s interesting to note, however, that the disease was supposed to be spread by magical rats in the beginning; at least that’s what the announcement trailer seems to suggest.)

Back when the demo dropped, the confirmation that Ergo spores were the cause of Petrification Disease made me even more confident in my thesis, as did the “Ergo is Life” pamphlets. When I started streaming Lies of P (my first commented playthrough ever ^^’), I even commented on this, saying:

“Maybe even that this crystal [Ergo] contains the life force of dead people - that's what my speculation was back then.” (My commentary is in German, but here's the video if anyone is interested; the part where I discuss it starts at 26:25.)

Oh boy… I had no idea this was about to age like the finest wine in existence.

About 40 hours of gameplay later, I almost couldn’t believe my ears when Simon confirmed I was dead on target:

“The disease does not signify death. It's the process of purifying a person's essence. A purified human who overcomes the Petrification Disease will gain a strengthened body and a mind free of lies. The essence is Ergo. Yes, the Ergo you use as your power was once a human being.”

When Sophia explained that the Petrification Disease, Puppet Frenzy, and carcass monsters are all linked to Ergo shortly afterwards and literally spelled it out that Ergo is a person’s “essence of life”, I was so flabbergasted that my fan theories were essentially right that I was struck speechless. (You can see my live reaction to the conversations with Simon and Sophia in this video, at 20:08 and 49:56; I think you can tell how gobsmacked I am from just my tone, especially in the conversation with Sophia.) Since I had shared these theories on the official Lies of P server back in the day, some part of my brain even wondered if one of the devs saw it and thought it was so good that they went like “Write that down, write that down!” xD (Though realistically, I don’t think that’s very likely; still, it’s funny to imagine one of the devs reading through the chat, seeing this, and going like “How did they figure this out so fast?!?” xD)

On a more serious note, I didn’t really expect any of my preliminary fan theories to be true at all, but I must say, I’m pretty proud that I essentially hit the mark in this case - not only in regards to Ergo being crystallized life essence, but also the Petrification Disease resulting from “overpurification”.

Another thing I noticed is that Ergo shares not only similarities with the Atlantis crystal, but also with the Protomolecule from The Expanse (I don’t wanna spoil too much of the series’ plot here, but scientists conducting immoral experiments with something they don’t really understand is also a pretty big topic). In addition, a commonality between the crystal and the Protomolecule is that they both came from outer space - and, since there is talk about a “star that answered humans and descended to Earth” in one document, chances are the origin of Ergo is also extraterrestrial.

However, as we know, Ergo wasn’t the actual cause of the Puppet Frenzy - both Sophia’s comment from above and the report from the factory are essentially a “ruse” on the story’s part, supposed to lead you on the wrong track. In truth, it’s Geppetto who overrode the Grand Covenant’s commands and was responsible for the Frenzy.

Still, perhaps the impure Ergo supplies were actually meant to facilitate Geppetto’s plan (the Mad Donkey did say Geppetto and the Alchemists were scheming together, after all) - maybe the more impure the Ergo of a puppet is, the easier it becomes to control them. In contrast, when a person’s Ergo is undiluted and their personality remains largely intact, that might give them more autonomy and make them harder to manipulate. (I think this is what happened with Romeo, who could still give commands to the other puppets despite the zeroth law.)

The backstory of Krat

Speaking of the frenzy, I also had my theories about the potential backstory of it: Lies of P actually motivated me to do some research about real-life automata and their history (people familiar with my LoP posts might be aware of this), and one thing running through it like a common thread from the Middle Ages to the Age of Enlightenment is that automata were always representative of a conflict of rich vs poor.

In fact, during the French Revolution, this was a source of mockery against the country’s nobles, who were compared to their automated toys - pretty and pristine to look at, but soulless on the inside. Meanwhile, it was argued that the poorly paid artisans who built them should be the actual rulers of society, since their minds were clearly superior if they were able to come up with such ingenuity.

For that reason, I was playing around with the idea that there may have been a conflict between the wealthy upper class and the working class prior to the Puppet Frenzy. The competition between the Bastards and the Sweepers seemed to hint at something like this as well, and since the Alchemists were already teased as the enigmatic masterminds early on, I suspected they might have exploited this struggle, releasing the Puppet Frenzy to effectively eliminate both parties and seize power themselves. (Since there was a gameplay tip about the puppets gaining awareness by themselves, I even assumed they might have become self-aware right before the frenzy; in hindsight though, I think this was meant to refer to the old selves of some puppets awakening due to Ergo.)

As of the June 2023 demo, however, these theories were effectively debunked: We learned that the Puppet Frenzy occurred independently of any public uprisings, and that another wave of Petrification Disease had plagued the city at almost the same time - note the word “another”, implying this wasn’t the first time this disease had spread in Krat. Also, I frankly didn’t connect the dots correctly that Bastards and Sweepers were both part of the Stalkers  - while Stalkers and Bastards/Sweepers were mentioned in the same gameplay tip, it didn’t specify that the latter were subgroups of one and the same organization. (I wasn’t the only one to interpret this wrong either, since other people assumed the Stalkers to be puppets or even cyborgs.)

Still, it does appear there were some class struggles in the history of Krat: We hear about how the old, privileged families of Krat “struggled for power with new forces such as the Workshop and the Alchemists, who brought about the golden era of Krat”, although that conflict seems to have taken place a long time ago. Also, according to the description of the Krat Police Baton, there was a “violent protest with the factory labor union” once.

Although this isn’t much and doesn’t tell us anything about the background of the protest or the exact circumstances of it, I have been wondering whether it might have been due to low payment and factory laborers being replaced by puppets. Although this may sound very modern, protests against mechanization due to workers losing their jobs and the creation of inhumane working conditions go back as far as the Swing Riots in 1830. It should be said that the riots were less due to technophobia of the workers and more due to the endangerment of their economic and social status in the face of rapid technological advancement, and given that the rise of puppets in Krat happened very fast, the ordinary workers would definitely have been on the losing side.

I don’t know if this is ever going to be explored further at any point, but I would certainly be interested in hearing more about it - or more about the history of Krat in general, if only to clear up some details and make the timeline less confusing.

Pinocchio and Gemini

Let’s talk a bit about our protagonist and his sidekick: Pinocchio and Gemini. Like many other fans, I also had the theory early on that Pino was modeled after Geppetto’s dead son (I think this theory was based on some item description, but I can’t remember which). People on the server speculated that Geppetto’s son died in a violent accident that cost him his arm, and I even took things a step further by suggesting that Pino might literally be wearing his son’s skin (more on this “freak theory” of mine here).

Furthermore, I was quite partial to the idea that Gemini was essentially the soul of Geppetto’s deceased son. I didn’t really have anything to back this up aside from Gemini’s name meaning “twin”, so I never shared it publicly on the LoP server. (Also, Gemini is essentially just a corruption of Jiminy, the name that Disney came up with for the cricket; in the fairy tale itself, the cricket is not named.) Still, I found the concept of Pino essentially being the “body” and Gemini the “soul” very appealing - they may have been split from each other, but they are inseparable all the same. It also goes a bit into Descartes’ mind-body dualism, which is a popular theme in sci-fi stories about robots and cyborgs.

It led me to some fun speculations regarding the story: Assuming that, perhaps, Geppetto’s son died due to an incident on his way to the school he went to (since Pinocchio also goes to school in the novel), and further assuming that this happened a relatively short time ago, maybe some of his son’s former classmates are still alive, and Pinocchio would cross paths with them at some point. They assume him to be Geppetto’s son, asking where he’s been all this time and why he suddenly has a metal arm. Pinocchio then has the option to answer “yes, I am that boy” and come up with some plausible explanation, or to tell them “no, you’re mistaken” which would make things… somewhat more complicated.

I imagined that if Pino went with the first option, Gemini would chime in and provide advice at times to help him navigate interactions with the other boys. My assumption was that while Pino may look identical to Geppetto’s son, he possesses none of his memories; meanwhile, Gemini can still remember his past lifetime, despite being unaware that these memories actually belong to him. (His amnesia was hinted at in the demo as well.) Essentially, he would give Pino brief summaries of past events and tips how to behave in certain situations, and Pino would say “Thanks. Where do you know all of this from?” And Gemini would go like “...Sorry, no idea, buddy.” (You can tell I really wanted them to do something with Gemini.)

Due to the description of the Last Resort, there was also the theory going around there might have been multiple iterations of Pino - in fact, since the text said that the old man feared “his son failing to awaken properly and going into a frenzy”, some people assumed that Pino might have been the original catalyst of the frenzy. After the encounter with Mad Donkey in the demo, the theory that Pino was not the first of his kind seemed all the more likely, since he has definitely met him before and said “This time it's destroyed for sure. Devil's puppet no more, eh?” if you died.*

*I actually do not know if this line is in the final game as well, since I didn’t die to him during my two playthroughs (yes, really).

While it’s entirely possible - but not confirmed - that Pino had predecessor models (I theorized the Broken Puppet in the swamp might be one of those), the remark about the frenzy is more likely referring to Geppetto not being entirely sure whether the override of the laws he himself caused would affect Pino as well (which may be one of the reasons he didn’t bind him to the Covenant). As for the circumstances of Pino and the Mad Donkey’s previous meeting, those are a little more obscure - it appears that Pino wasn’t even able to wake up without Sophia’s help, so the only possible explanation is that the Mad Donkey fought one of his predecessors. (The Nameless Puppet probably also existed back then, but Carlo’s corpse - ironically - has next to no similarity with Pino, so it’s unlikely the Mad Donkey would’ve recognized them as the same.)

Someone on Tumblr even had a completely different theory about Geppetto's presumed son: After the official release month trailer dropped (the release being later moved to September), they commented on the facial similarities between Pino and Simon, proposing that Simon might actually be Geppetto’s “lost son”, implying they became estranged at some point - and since Geppetto no longer views Simon as his son/considers him dead, he created Pino as a sort of “idealized version” of him. When I was playing the demo and saw the Someone’s Memory outfit, which is noted to have been worn before and features a broach with the initial “M” (possibly denoting “Manus”), I was even considering whether this theory might be true.

As we learn during the game, however, Geppetto’s son - Carlo - is actually dead, and the initial signifies “Monad” (from Monad Charity House) rather than “Manus”. Unbeknownst to me, I might have actually come pretty close to the final version with my theory about an accident near the school during which he lost his arm - the possibility that Carlo died during the Monad Charity House incident is something I discussed with @lopposting some time ago (take it with a grain of salt though, since none of this is confirmed).

As for my theory about the skin, I had a major freak-out when I found Carlo’s portrait in-game, and I went like “I swear, if this is true, I’m gonna have such a Dr. Malcolm moment of “boy, do I hate being right all the time”.” xD I was spared that, however, as there is nothing that specifically hints at Pino having real skin, and the existence of the Nameless Puppet makes my original theory even less likely (as I mentioned in the post linked above). At the same time, there is nothing that explicitly contradicts it, either - so, for now, it’s more or less a big question mark hanging in the air.

One thing that’s for certain though is that Gemini is not the soul of Carlo - Carlo’s soul is contained in his heart/the P-Organ, and although Pino doesn’t possess Carlo’s memories, the reason that prevents them from awakening is not precisely clear (I go over my own favored interpretation here). Meanwhile, Gemini’s own identity remains unknown - while it appears Gemini was originally supposed to have a subplot regarding his amnesia, the few comments hinting at it are never built upon. I really wish they would’ve done more with Gemini, but there’s still a good chance the DLC might shine some light on who he actually is.

Hotel guests and side characters

Aside from the main characters, speculation was also running wild about the supporting characters and the roles they would play in the story.

Since Eugénie’s name is taken from Eugene, a classmate of Pinocchio in the original book and part of Lampwick’s gang of rascals, my original theory was Eugénie might have something to do with him. In all the promotional material*, there wasn’t a single trace of Lampwick, and since one of the loading screen tips in the demo said something about Eugénie being rescued by a particular Stalker, my suspicion was that this might be Lampwick. (Probably in no small part thanks to all the fanworks featuring Puppet Hunter Lampwick.)

*IGN sort of leaked Romeo's existence by accident, but that completely flew over my head; more on that below.

As it turns out, however, Alidoro was the one who saved Eugénie and whom she holds great admiration for. In the book, it was Pinocchio rather than Eugene whom Alidoro - a police dog - saved. After he got saved by Pinocchio from drowning, that is - which was after he ran into the sea trying to chase down Pinocchio who had escaped from two policemen, who erroneously assumed it was Pinocchio who knocked Eugene unconscious with a book. Anyway, it’s complicated.

One thing Oxwutex had cleverly noticed is that Eugénie wears a badge with the Workshop symbol just like Geppetto (which looks very similar to the Square and Compass symbol of Freemasonry), concluding that Eugénie must also be part of the Workshop - and, as it turns out, that was right on the mark.

Antonia was yet another character from the novel that was genderbent in the game, being based on Antonio, the carpenter who finds the animated log that eventually becomes Pinocchio and gives it to Geppetto (after a pretty fierce argument with the latter, that is). Because of this connection to Geppetto, some people assumed Antonia might be Geppetto’s former wife, and thus, the mother of Geppetto’s biological son.

In the game, however, Carlo’s mother is implied to be Camille, while Antonia is just “an old friend of Geppetto’s”. Still, Antonia’s past is somewhat shrouded in mystery, which has spawned theories about her being part of the Alchemists once (the hotel was an Alchemist institution before Antonia took over, and she mentions having good relations with them before she broke with them), and some even assume Antonia to be the Legendary Stalker. As it stands, however, these are mere conjectures - we’ll have to see if any of that is confirmed in the DLC.

Due to his somewhat dubious-seeming appearance, many people assumed Venigni to be the equivalent of the Fox in the game, with Simon consequently being suspected to be Cat due to his missing eye. However, me and many other fans really have been led up the garden path in this regard - while the Fox and the Cat do exist in the game, they are completely separate characters from Venigni and Simon, who are both original additions.

Honestly, out of the entire cast, Venigni is the one that surprised me the most. I thought he was just going to be your run-of-the-mill, profit-driven, snobbish businessman, but he is actually the complete opposite of that - in fact, he's one of the most warm-hearted, genuine people in the entire game. Sure, he’s a little eccentric and occasionally likes to adulate himself, but he’s so bloody honest about being a quirky nerd that you just can’t help but forgive him his flaws. (He kinda reminds me of myself, actually. xD) I never expected him to grow on me that much, but among the supporting characters, he is hands down my favorite.

Last but not least, we have Polendina, yet another original character (although his name is, funnily enough, based on an uncharming nickname of Geppetto in the book). Since the devs teased that you can have “a lot of interesting conversations with Polendina”, his role was especially interesting for me to muse about. In fact, I was wondering whether he might be similar to Gigolo Joe from “A.I. - Artificial Intelligence”.

FYI, A.I. is one of my favorite sci-fi movies, and a cyberpunk adaptation of Pinocchio at that; y’know, with Pinocchio as an android boy - aka David, as he’s named in the movie.

[Again, I’m gonna spoil the main plot here.]

Basically, a family gets an android boy as a replacement for their severely ill, comatose son. Aside from this alone being very questionable (it takes a special kind of asshole to replace a child that isn’t even dead yet), their biological son just so happens to get out of his coma at some point, and, of course, a rivalry between him and David ensues. Because the parents believe keeping David would be dangerous - either to him or their biological son - his mother ditches him in the forest (like, literally, she just ditches him). Since David is imprinted on his mother though, he resolves to “become a real boy just like Pinocchio” so his mom will love him again. Along the way, he stumbles upon Gigolo Joe, a sex android (yes, you read that right) who sort of becomes David’s surrogate parent from there on. He even tries to warn David that he should not try to go back to his mother, uttering the legendary quote:

“She loves what you do for her. As my customers love what it is I do for them. But she does not love you, David.”

[spoilers end]

I was kinda thinking Polendina might become a similar “father figure” for Pino, perhaps even sort of an admonitory voice to the consequences of becoming human. It would’ve provided an interesting counter viewpoint to the “I want to be a real boy” plotline that’s the core element of the story, and that wanting to be human just to please others might not be such a good idea.

While this train of thought comes eerily close to what happens in the Real Boy ending, Polendina’s character turned out to be completely different from what I had imagined. Still, I found his arc to be one of the most compelling of the hotel characters. I am very fond of both him and Antonia, and their bittersweet love story touched me on a very personal level (Polendina specifically gave me a lot of flashbacks to how I felt after my own robot soulmate had died).

The King of Puppets/Romeo

While we technically saw the King of Puppets as early as the Gamescom 2022 trailer, we didn’t hear about him in more detail until the gameplay footage of the factory. The note about a puppet religiously worshiping some kind of god-like figure (first seen in part 2 of the director gameplay, at 27:25) gave me very strong rA9 vibes, which actually had me mildly concerned. Considering what a visually impressive writing trainwreck Detroit: Become Human had been, I was literally begging “please, please, don’t be another Detroit”.

Meanwhile, someone on the LoP server (I think it was Oxwutex) pointed out that it sounds like the King of Puppets is more of a physical entity, as opposed to the purely conceptual nature of rA9. I can tell you, I was never so glad I had been wrong - the “cult-like worship” was merely the result of Fuoco being a little overly conscientious. Btw, aside from being placed in a different spot, the journal was also renamed to Descartes’s Note in the final game. While Descartes seems to be something like Venigni’s adversary in Lies of P (judging by the description of the Coil Mjolnir), his name is a nod to the famous philosopher I already mentioned above. In addition, the quote Cognito, ergo sum (Latin for “I think, therefore I am”, yet another popular theme in robot/AI stories and the origin of the term “Ergo”) also goes back to Descartes - the fact that this is a document about a puppet gaining an ego makes it an even neater detail.

I believe I saw someone on Tumblr who assumed that the King of Puppets was going to be the overarching villain of the game, and that you would get the good ending if you stuck to the path of the Blue Fairy and the bad one if you joined the king. While the game certainly wants you to believe the King of Puppets is the villain at first, that’s… not actually true. (Tbh, I never really believed it myself, if simply for the reason that it would’ve been too obvious.)

In the Gamescom 2023 IGN spotlight for Lies of P, however, Romeo actually got name-dropped, the guys from IGN sort of accidentally spoiling him as the true form of the King of Puppets. People familiar with the fairy tale immediately recognized it as Lampwick’s actual name (“Lampwick” is just his nickname), correctly inferring that this is, in fact, Pinocchio’s best friend from the book - and unfortunately, just like in the book, there is little Pinocchio can do to help him avoid his cruel fate.

Sophia and Geppetto

Now, let’s talk about the characters that most of my speculations revolved around: Sophia and Geppetto.

The first time we saw Sophia - Lies of P’s version of the Blue Fairy - was on the character cards that were released during Gamescom 2022. Back then, half of her face was obscured, being covered with blue butterflies that she literally seems to dissolve into. This gave off very enigmatic, even otherworldly vibes, and early on led me to the assumption Sophia was some kind of divine, ethereal being - it certainly would’ve been in line with the Blue Fairy’s character from the book, who was able to appear at any place at any time in whatever form she wished, including a young girl, and old woman, and even a goat. (Later on, the dimensional butterflies - which literally came from another dimension - further convinced me that Sophia must be some kind of otherworldly entity, since the butterflies are also her symbol.)

However, being a goddess doesn’t necessarily have to make you benevolent - in fact, an immaculate being that is free of any fault might have difficulty empathizing with the struggles, flaws, and contradictory feelings of humans. Also, since she is the “Blue Fairy”, it seemed logical to assume she had some connection to Ergo (which was confirmed later in the demo), and since the Petrification Disease was also related to Ergo (the Torn Doddle from the demo even referred to a “blue angel”), could it be that she had caused the disease herself? To, perhaps, purge the debauched population of Krat from vice and sin? (If you’ve ever played Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, you might know what I’m getting at here.)

Oxwutex on the LoP server agreed that they had a feeling about Sophia being two-faced as well, but assumed that she was human once before becoming the Blue Fairy. This ultimately turned out to be a little closer to the truth, as it’s implied that Sophia gained her blue hair - and potentially some other powers - from Simon’s torturous experiments (there is a picture of a girl which looks a lot like a younger Sophia, but with normal-colored hair). However, the role of wanting to “purify” humanity is something that ultimately falls to Simon, although he does exploit the Petrification Disease for his goals. Meanwhile, Sophia wants to stop his atrocities, acting as Pino’s guide in his fight against Simon.

But does that mean she has an entirely clean slate? The true extent of her powers ultimately remains a mystery. Technically, her ability to manipulate time should make it possible for her to make all sorts of terrible things unhappen - her imprisonment, Simon rising to power, and potentially even the whole disaster that happened in Krat. Both the Torn Doodle and the notes on the walls of the Hermit’s Cave imply that the carcasses can feel her presence through Ergo waves, so it would be logical to assume Sophia can sense them as well. Yet, she reacts surprised when hears about the strange monsters that infested the cathedral. (She definitely knew what Simon was up to, so why wouldn’t she know what they are?) Romeo also communicates with his puppets via Ergo waves, and Sophia is literally sitting in a tower where all Ergo waves come together. She’s a listener who can hear Ergo, so shouldn’t she be aware that the King of Puppets isn’t the real bad guy? (She certainly was very fast to tell Pino about it at the Grand Exhibition after Romeo’s defeat.) Could she have told Pino and thus prevented the fight between him and Romeo? Are there any limits to her powers? And does she encourage Pino to become human because it’s the best for him, or the best to save Krat?

To clarify: I do not believe Sophia has any evil intentions. You could probably find explanations for all the things I listed above if you wanted (the carcasses being a recent occurrence, all of the voices being jumbled in her head so she can’t precisely tell them apart, the “static” in the puppets’ communication Venigni mentioned preventing Sophia from hearing them clearly, etc). Still, despite everything, I’ve always retained a certain wariness around her - maybe it’s due to the fact that even after two playthroughs, I cannot get a read on her (ironically, even Simon remarks about Sophia’s actions being unpredictable). I do know, however, what an immense burden knowledge can be, and I can only imagine the strain from literally knowing everything and all the potential power in the world being at your fingertips. I have no doubt Sophia had to make a lot of sacrifices to save Krat, and I can’t imagine these decisions were easy on her.

Still, if her powers are truly so limitless, it would be her who ultimately holds all the strings in her hands - everything that happens happens because she allowed it. I gotta say, I’m very glad Sophia is on Pino’s side - we would be in big trouble if she wasn’t.

As for Geppetto, even before the game’s release, there was a pretty unanimous agreement among the community that he was a father who had lost his son, but is unable to let go and thus revives his son as a puppet - and, well… that’s exactly what Geppetto is. xD Many also had suspicions that he’s exploiting Pino for his own purposes and would be the ultimate villain of the story - which, again, couldn’t have been more spot-on. (Idk, but it’s hilarious to me how everyone took one look at this man and went “yes, this is the bad guy”. xD)

There were some people on the LoP server who theorized Geppetto might have Petrification Disease from his remarks in the trailers (announcement trailer: “I, too, have fallen) and that Pino was supposed to save him from it (Gamescom trailer: “Please, help me”), but these most likely refer to his own morally reprehensible plans and/or teaming up with his archenemies - the Alchemists - to create Pino and subsequently ousting Simon with his help.

My own pre-release theory why and how Geppetto had created Pino was a little more elaborate: I thought Geppetto might have been commissioned by Sophia to build a puppet that would be able to bring the chaos in Krat to an end - my assumption was that if Sophia was an ethereal being, she would be able to observe what’s going on in the mortal world, but unable to directly influence it. However, she can send people messages and visions, which she used to strike a deal with Geppetto: that he would build her a worthy “savior of Krat” which she would then bring to life. Meanwhile, Geppetto also followed his own agenda, exploiting this agreement to build this “special puppet” in the image of his dead son. (Which definitely would’ve had consequences for him later on - you don’t cross a divine being without ramifications.)

I came up with a whole fanfiction concept around this idea long before the game’s release - I never actually finished it since I assumed it was going to diverge from the final game anyway, and tbh, it kinda annoys me if my fics don’t fit into canon. I did, however, manage to find an old WIP of it I still had in one of my folders, titled “A wish and a purpose”. While it’s most likely going to remain unfinished forever, I think it'd be fun to include a summary of it in this collection of fan theories, if simply to look back at what I thought the story was going to be like. So, here’s the backstory of Lies of P, according to me:

[CW: skinning]

Geppetto is roaming the streets of Krat. He is actually looking for his son, who was killed in the turmoil some time ago.

The Fairy approaches him, reminding of their agreement. Geppetto reacts slightly disgruntled, brushing her off by saying he just wants to gain closure from the past. While the Fairy notices he is in grief, she doesn’t deny him his last wish, but admonishes him not to take too long.

The Fairy dissolves into dust. Geppetto goes on to look for his son’s corpse in the piles of dead bodies.

[cut]

Geppetto is sitting next to his dead son, whom he eventually managed to find and bring home. He placed his body on a desk in his workshop, having cleaned his skin and hair from blood and grime.

Geppetto looks at him, taking in the gaping hole in his chest and frayed stump where his left arm had once been. Despite his best efforts, he doesn’t have the heart to throw his body onto a pyre like all the plague-ridden bodies.

Affectionately, Geppetto strokes his son’s cheek. Suddenly, a thought strikes him: While the Fairy may never grant the request to revive his son outright, she only told him to build a puppet able to slay all the others, not what that puppet should look like. He considers it a fair deal: The Fairy gains the tool to quell the madness she so desires, and Geppetto would be able to hold his son in his arms again.

Geppetto goes over to his working utensils, taking up a knife. When he turns and takes another glance at his son, his last resistance breaks at the thought of his son opening his eyes and jumping into his arms.

He tenderly takes the hand of his son, kissing him on his forehead. He speaks to his unhearing son, promising he will bring him back soon.

Afterwards, Geppetto begins skinning him.

[cut]

Geppetto puts together the last pieces of the clockwork heart, admiring his work.

He goes to the back of his workshop where there’s a chair covered by a white sheet. Gently, he lifts it, saying good morning to his son as if he was rousing him out of bed.

He considers his son, dressed in the blue frock coat wardrobe that Geppetto had handed down to him.* He carefully preserved the skin and hair of his son so he looks just like the day he’d lost him.

Geppetto inserts the mechanical Ergo heart into his son’s chest, completing his masterpiece. He intertwines his fingers with his son’s. They are cold, but the texture feels real, and he imagines them growing warm after the Fairy breathed life into him. His only regret is that he won’t be able to witness his son taking his first steps.

At this point, the Fairy arrives, asking to see the result of Geppetto’s work. Geppetto leads her into the workshop, but she freezes as soon as she sees Pinocchio. With an indignant gaze, she turns to Geppetto, telling him that this was not part of the deal. Geppetto reacts unmoved, telling her that it’s take or leave and that he’s not going to build her any other puppet.

The Fairy narrows her eyes at him but says nothing, turning back to Pinocchio. After a moment, she strides towards him, lifting his limp body up in her arms.

She bids Geppetto farewell before she leaves, taking Pinocchio with her and dissolving into blue dust.

*Since the blue coat was presented as Pino’s standard outfit, I assumed it was the clothes that once belonged to Geppetto’s son (perhaps an heirloom from his father, since they are more similar to 18th century fashion).

[end of CW]

In my mind, this was followed up by a scene at the train station, from Sophia’s perspective (I thought of it as a follow-up to the first fic, but never actually worked on the concept):

The Fairy muses about the yet lifeless Pinocchio.

She considers what Geppetto did an absolute atrocity, but thinks she may yet be able to rectify this sin. After all, she is the only one who can breathe life into Pinocchio, and thus, his actions and the path he will take are her responsibility alone - and she will do everything to lead him on the path of righteousness.

She bestows the lamp containing the soul of Geppetto’s true son onto him, in the hopes that if Pinocchio proves himself virtuous, this wrongful separation of body and soul can one day be corrected.

The Fairy sits Pinocchio down on a bench, pressing a note into his hand. She gives him a gentle kiss on his forehead, starting to dissolve as she moves away.

Slowly, Pinocchio opens his eyes to a cloud of fine, blue dust. He looks down, reading the note in his hand: “Find Mr. Geppetto. He’s here in the city.”

This was supposed to be a sort of tie-in with how they originally advertised the scenario - the advertising text on Steam and other platforms originally said that Pinocchio simply wakes up with a note reading “Find Mr. Geppetto. He’s here in the city.” Don’t ask me why the Fairy gives it to him after just seeing Geppetto, though; I have no idea. xD (Still, it makes me wonder how much the introduction scene deviates from the original concept - after all, there’s no note, and Sophia talks to Pino telepathically.)

As you may have noticed, my little “AU interpretation” heavily drew from my other fan theories as well. I liked the idea of Sophia and Geppetto as two opposing “poles”: They may not like each other, but each possesses a skill the other lacks - Geppetto can build human-like puppets, but he can’t actually bring them to life, and while Sophia is the only one who can animate dead matter, she can’t interact with the world physically. Thus, they sort of become the “dual creators” of Pino.

Of course, this means that they both consider themselves to have the right to decide over the path he ultimately takes. As such, each of them is trying to influence Pino, leading to him being torn between the two. (This was sort of inspired by the Gamescom trailer, where Sophia and Geppetto are like two voices in Pino’s head.)

The endings

This also had a huge influence on my theories about the three endings. (I’m perfectly aware that nobody is going to believe me, but I swear I came up with my 3-ending concept before it was officially revealed there are going to be three endings.)

My basic assumption was that you have to make a decision at the end of the game, between Sophia and Geppetto. I thought of it as the point where the conflict between the two that was festering underneath finally escalates, and Pino is forced to side with one and battle the other. Depending on who you pick, you’d get a different ending.

Ending 1 would occur if you chose Sophia:

After battling Geppetto, she commends Pinocchio for his work, saying that thanks to his good deeds, he will finally be able to become human. Suddenly, she rips the lamp containing Gemini from Pino’s belt, and before he can ask her about the reason why, the black rabbits appear and Sophia orders them to seize him. Sophia explains that unfortunately, there is no other way to correct the wrongful separation of a soul from its body than for the body to die, but thanks to his consciousness being sufficiently cleansed, Pinocchio shall be reborn one day. Meanwhile, Pino gets quite literally buried alive - he desperately scratches at the lid from the inside of the coffin, crying for anyone to help him. However, no one comes…

If this doesn’t sound like your typical happy ending, well, that’s because it isn’t. xD My idea for this sort of came from a comment under the Gamescom 2022 trailer, in which someone remarked that the rabbits are inspired by four rabbit undertakers the Blue Fairy calls on when Pinocchio doesn’t want to take his medicine in the novel - thus, they suspected the scene where the rabbits prompt Pino to hop in the coffin was from the bad ending when you don’t listen to the Fairy’s advice. (It’s the intro for their first boss fight in the game though, and it seems like the line “Hop in the box, liar” was specifically recorded for the trailer.) I gave it a bit of a different twist though, since there’s the fact that Pinocchio quite literally dies at the end of the original fairy tale: He wakes up in his bed as a real boy, and later looks at his “dead” puppet body remarking “How ridiculous I was as a puppet! And how happy I am, now that I have become a real boy!”.

From this and the assumption that the rabbits were indeed working for her, I concluded that she literally might kill Pinocchio to “make him real”. (Some other people, however, suspected that the Black Rabbit Brotherhood was an independent organization from some of the gameplay tips about the Stalkers - ultimately, this proved to be right.)

Meanwhile, Ending 2 would happen if you side with Geppetto:

After defeating the enraged Fairy, Pinocchio runs into the arms of Geppetto, who hugs his son lovingly. As they embrace, the lamp from Pinocchio’s belt falls to the ground, forever extinguished. Geppetto and Pinocchio spend their next years happily, the very picture of father and son - until one day, Geppetto dies. Pinocchio, however, knows no other existence than being his father’s son, and since he doesn’t age, the other citizens eventually figure out he’s a puppet, shunning him and chasing him out of the city. As such, he is left to wander aimlessly, forever in search of a purpose…

What this was meant to represent is that with accepting Pinocchio as his son’s replacement, Geppetto’s actual son (Gemini, according to my assumption) dies, metaphorically and literally. I was also concerned about the very real issue of Geppetto being an old man and Pinocchio outliving him - even if Pinocchio did age regularly, his father would die long before him. Being his father’s perfect son was literally the whole purpose of his existence, and without it, he finds himself confronted with the psychological horror of his life being meaningless, on top of being subjected to the immense cruelty, hatred, and prejudice of humans.

It was really meant to show how much of a sick, misguided direction Geppetto’s “father’s love” had taken, and how detrimental it would be for Pinocchio’s self-development to comply with his wishes and play the part of his son.

Since both of these options are pretty bad, to say the least, I came up with a third variant. To get this, you’d basically have to say “nope” to both Sophia and Geppetto, and since neither takes no for an answer, you’d have to fight both of them consecutively (making it the most difficult ending to achieve):

After recovering from the strain of having to battle both Sophia and Geppetto, Pinocchio realizes that, for the first time, nobody is setting a direction for him - he is free, but having only lived to fulfill the wishes of others so far, he doesn’t really know what to do with it. However, Gemini reminds Pinocchio that they still have each other. Pinocchio agrees, laughing, and together, they go out on a journey to travel the world…

Admittedly, it’s still not roses and sunshine, but a lot more positive than the other two. Also, it’s the ending where both Pinocchio and Gemini (speak: body and soul) stay alive, and I just had so much fun imagining them say “screw it” to everyone’s expectations and go on a big adventure together. xD

Is it normal for body and soul to exist separately? Nope. Is it the “correct” way to live? Nope. Do they care? Nope, they’re just going to have the best time of their life together. xD

Of course, my versions of the endings differ significantly from those in the final game, but I’m actually kind of impressed that I managed to guess the scheme of the endings correctly: Sophia (Rise of P), Geppetto (Real Boy), and Freedom (Free from the Puppet String).

What I envisioned Geppetto’s ending to be like actually comes pretty close to the Real Boy ending, although you could say I was a bit more subtle in my approach - the overall mood was meant to be more sinister rather than downright evil, leaning more into the underlying psychological horror instead of violent slaughter. (I must say, Geppetto really surpassed my expectations right there. xD) The overall moral of the story (or at least what I’m getting from it) also seems to be that stepping in the shoes of Geppetto’s son is a very bad idea for Pino - after all, it’s heavily implied that Pino isn’t Carlo.

On the other hand, while Sophia’s ending is similar in theme to what I imagined, it significantly differs in flavor. Still, Pino does die in the Rise of P ending, giving his own Ergo/life to Sophia, who is implied to revive him afterwards. (This is actually the “reverse action” of what Pino did for Sophia when he gave her peace, so Pino is essentially giving her Ergo back to her.) In addition, Sophia and Pino do a little reenactment of the La Pietà pose, which is also a throwback to the Saintess of Mercy Statue in the Grand Exhibition.

There are actually quite a few references to the Pietà posture in media, including one in The Last Unicorn (after the Unicorn/Amalthea becomes human and Molly holds her). Thematically, the Pietà is interpreted as a symbol of mother’s love, suffering, and salvation - and, in case of The Last Unicorn, Amalthea learning what suffering is due to her time as a human is also what led her to develop compassion. The Saintess of Mercy Statue also stands for rebirth, since it’s the place where you can reset your stats.

Overall, I think they did an excellent job with this ending - retaining the theme of death from the original story, but giving it a more hopeful note through the theme of rebirth. (I also appreciate how the message of game is essentially that for things to improve, it’s sometimes best not to cling to the old and simply let it die.)

As for the Free of the Puppet String ending, it’s largely the same as Rise of P, but with a different flavor and minus the final cutscene with Sophia. (I kinda wish they would’ve done more with it, but resource limitations exist, and it was probably easier just to reuse the animation.) One interesting thing about it though is that you can still potentially get the Proof of Humanity if you trade it for the Nameless Puppet’s Ergo afterwards - despite Free from the Puppet String being the low-humanity ending.

I’ve had an interesting discussion during my playthrough, based on the quote “every living human being is a slave to something” by Askeladd from Vinland Saga. Basically, I said that, if you want to view it that way, humans are also just slaves to their emotions and desires. The man Askeladd was referring to was enslaved by his greed for gold, Geppetto is enslaved by his obsession with Carlo, and Arlecchino is enslaved by his bloodlust. I concluded that “maybe, it’s just a matter of the prison that we ourselves choose”.

The item description of the Proof of Humanity is quite intriguing in this regard:

“Puppets are tied to strings. Humans have cut their own strings. The boy made a choice and became human.”

While I wouldn’t say that all humans have cut their strings - rather that they can - what this description says is that being human means you are free to choose whether you let yourself be enslaved, be it by someone else or your own desires.

Pinocchio didn’t become human because he chose to become human - rather, he became human because he made a choice.

Conclusion

Anyway, enough of my philosophical ramblings. While, as I expected, not all of my fan theories were true, I’m kind of impressed how many good calls I actually made. ^^’ (I suppose all that research about clockwork automata, my ongoing obsession with fictional robots and AI, and checking out the original Adventures of Pinocchio did pay off after all. xD) Still, there are a lot of unanswered questions, and many fan theories remain unresolved - we’ll have to see whether any of these are confirmed in the future, be it in the DLC or any other media (director Choi did confirm they received various offers to expand the IP).

Despite the story differing quite a lot from my expectations in most places, I am extremely pleased with the treatment Round8 Studio and Neowiz gave this classic fairy tale. It’s been said that successfully subverting expectations in an engaging way isn’t simply about doing the most unpredictable thing - rather, it’s about “giving the audience what they want, just not the way they expect it”. And, in my opinion, Lies of P accomplishes this to a T.

However, I’m curious: What were your expectations when going into the game? Did you also have theories about how the story would develop, either beforehand or while playing it? And how do those compare to the actual story?

I would love to hear about all your theories - maybe, we can make something like a big fan theory anthology out of this. ^^ Because if one thing is for certain, it’s that Lies of P’s success was in no small part thanks to its community. To this day, I continue to be amazed by the love and dedication fans shower this game with, and I consider myself lucky to have been part of this journey, from before the game’s release until now.

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 1B, MATCH 6 OUT OF 8!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Sayaka:

It's a clever play on the story where, rather than the littlest becoming human for love and a soul, instead she becomes a mermaid after loosing both, even gaining the bittersweet ending of having a chance at heaven but she still needs to do good after death

i was surprised to learn that sayaka's story is based on the little mermaid, but it makes more sense the more i think about it. such a heartbreaking, tragic tale that i get emotional ocer every time.

A lot of Madoka Magica fans believe she is based off of the original Little Mermaid story cuz, just like the original Little Mermaid, Sayaka loved a boy and said boy did not reciprocate. SPOILERS, she makes a contract with Kyubey to become a magical girl and in return her wish was to help Kyosuke (the guy she likes) who was disabled. Later on when she becomes a witch cuz she felt she wasn't good enough for Kyosuke and doesn't tell him about her feelings, her witch form is a mermaid. I suck at explaining but I hope my propaganda helps 🙏

(Major spoilers for madoka magical)Okay so I will admit her allusion to the little mermaid ain't super obvious, but let me explain, she is based on the original story for the little mermaid, she makes a wish for the sake of a boy she loves basically sacrificing her soul, well he ends up in love with another girl, and as a result she ends up going on a downward spiral and transforms into a monster known as a witch, her witch form is a mermaid.

Even though she's not a mermaid outside her witch form, her story is made to be a direct parallel to the self-sacrificial nature of the little mermaid, even letting herself die. This isn't the end tho because in one of the happier endings of the little mermaid she still becomes sea foam/dies but she also has a chance at becoming a sea spirit and helps others, this is very similar to Sayaka's final fate in the anime where after Madoka rewrites the universe Sayaka still gets corrupted/dies but instead of becoming a witch, she becomes apart of the law of cycles and helps Madoka save other magical girls. There are way to many similarities to her story and the little mermaid for it to just be coincidence imo.

Poor girl is stuck in a craptastic world where horrible monsters kill you, the only way to fight back is to become a zombie child soldier killing what remains of your own kind for survival, the wish you made will inevitably blow up in your face because the person granting it is a jackass, and the writer is hellbent on shitting on the girl power ethos of the magical girl genre by making it so that girls suffer and die for trying to achieve reasonable desires like "not starving to death" and attaining agency in their lives dooms you even harder because of womanly emotions. She needs a win. Also, she is explicitly paralleled with The Little Mermaid--she is a tragic figure who makes a deal to help the boy she loves in exchange for putting her life on a ticking clock, only to be passed up in favor of another girl. As a result, she dies and becomes something else--in this case, Oktavia von Seckendorff, "the mermaid witch."

Ponyo:

determined 5yo girls are more powerful than god

PONYO!!!!

As a child i did not even realize this was a little merm adaptation, but it really reads. She is sooo strange and other worldly and the movie absolutely captures that dreamlike fairy tale vibe

Ponyo a roughly five-year-old magical goldfish who can transform into a frog-type thing and a human girl. She's the eldest daughter of the literal goddess of the sea and a former human sailor given immortality. She falls in love with the five-year-old boy who cares for her and is thrilled to explore his ordinary yet magical world. She's bouncy, exuberant, and joyful. She loves ham. She doesn't have to give up her voice.

ponyo ponyo ponyo little fishie in the sea!

Little fishy

THEY LOVE HAM

[loganthrives]

RimWorld: Anomaly

I want to tell y'all a story.

So. RimWorld's fourth DLC Anomaly released this week, and for the past two days I've been playing it almost non-stop. I'll put it below the cut because its obviously a crapton of spoilers, but I'm just kind of blown away at how much story this DLC adds to the infamous story generator game.

Like, I have over 4,000 hours in this game and this is the first time that its felt like its telling me an actual story.

Spoilers ahead! TW: child death in the context of this cruel cruel video game:

I had this colonist join named Bristle who was described as a "leathery stranger" with a unique ability - he can blow up animals (and people, presumably) with his mind into hunks of twisted flesh. I said, sure, why not! Join my colony, what's the worst that could happen?!

Well, the worst that could happen is he went and studied a monolith on the beach outside of my base and it teleported him into a strange grey labyrinth. Pretty much just as soon as he got here, he's now trapped in some kinda void maze. Great!

It took me a couple of rooms before I noticed the markings on the floor, so once I realized I could read them I examined every single one I could find.

The messages are... Evocative, but they start giving me names. I'm wondering this whole time, who is Raisa? And who is Tom? I checked all of my colonists - I don't have anyone by either name. Are they people I should know? Or... People I haven't met yet?

Fortunately, because Bristle had literally just joined my colony, he came with his own rifle and 12x fine meals, so he could actually bum around and hang out in the labyrinth for a pretty long time. I ended up mapping out the entire thing before his last 6 meals disappeared from his inventory.

I found a couple rooms with fleshspikes - those are these pink little flesh monsters with a giant protruding spike coming out of their heads? - but thanks to Bristle's ability to explode creatures with his mind, I just... Exploded it.

I also found a couple groves of trees underground, a couple of horses randomly, and some bottomless pits. I was tempted to walk over one just to see what would happen (and savescum out of it ofc), but I didn't end up doing it.

I'm really concerned about Tom and Raisa though. Are they okay? Did they make it out?

I'm especially concerned about Tom. That... Doesn't sound okay.

And then I push through yet another door.

This is Raisa... And Tom.

I gasped out loud in real life. Nora came over to check on me because holy shit, that's so sad. Suddenly their notes makes sense. The obelisk abducted a woman and her child, and they got stuck in here for who knows how long. The wounds they had indicated that a fleshspike had done this to them.

I went to the exit - I had found it earlier, I just wanted to keep exploring. Thankfully, everything that had been left behind was kicked out of the labyrinth with Bristle when it collapsed on itself and the obelisk itself vanished from sight.

Including Raisa and Tom. I had to give them a proper burial. Wish I could've done more.

The messages were all from Raisa after she lost her son Tom.

I had done the two researchers one ghoul story start because I wanted to dive right into the DLC, and one of those researchers, Rose, arrived pregnant. Baby Thorn is almost three years old and still doesn't have a name.

Its kind of funny, because when I first landed she idly wandered near the monument, and I had one of those gamer coincidences where she walked by it right at the same time I got the notification that she was pregnant.

So I wound up continuing this colony even though it was a crap start, thinking I'd get some kind of void baby out of the deal? Nope, normal baby, normal birth. He's just chilling in his crib being looked after by the whole community as happy as can be. She must've been pregnant on the screen where I selected her for my colony and I just missed that detail.

Another funny thing about this kid, is that his father is Unknown, and apparently Rose's ex was the ghoul Kaito that I also started with. So, presumably, it was her ghoul (ex) husband's son, but the game's code doesn't seem to be able to link him as the other parent, either because he's a ghoul or because it happened as part of the game's starting conditions. Also she's actually gay on her character sheet, so I dunno how that worked for them? Ehh, I'm not gunna judge.

Anyways, I'm thinking about naming him Tom.

Here's hoping he has a long and full life.

[dev-solovey]

So I just read this awesome LGBT extreme horror book:

(description in alt text)

Content warnings: gore, cockroaches, sexual assault, discussions of prison, gender dysphoria, transphobia

I want to give some context about the author, based on her interview with Asher Dark on YouTube as well as my own conversations with her (she's super sweet!). This was her first book, which she wrote while she was in prison - AND while she was transitioning. She began her transition in prison, and the intersection of those two experiences informs the narrative as well as drawing parallels between imprisonment and dysphoria.

The story surrounds a transgender woman named Vera who's staying in a cabin alone for the summer so she can focus on writing her next horror book. As she becomes increasingly paranoid due to isolation, her writing gets more disturbing - writing that is threaded into the narrative about a killer who defiles women in some of the worst ways possible. Vera is disturbed by this writing because something about this killer feels too real.

From here on, there are spoilers. Also, this is an extreme horror/splatterpunk book, it should go without saying that things are about to get really, really gnarly. This is your one and final warning about that, you are not allowed to whine in the comments beyond this point. Dead dove, do not eat.

So the prologue is arguably one of the most brutal parts of the book. It ends with this killer sexually assaulting the woman he's kidnapped by binding her hands and feet, then putting a jar of cockroaches in her pussy and lighting a flame beneath it, sending the cockroaches fleeing from the heat up inside her. Extremely shocking beginning, but the things that stood out to me most is the parallels to prison.

Prison really is the ultimate violation of autonomy. You're being literally locked up, physically and mentally, in a where things like sexual assault and pest problems are rampant and inescapable. When Carietta told me that this book represents everything she felt and experienced in prison, I didn't expect those feeling to punch me in the face so quickly, but I'm glad they did. It's terrifying and uncomfortable, but that's the point - it sets up what this story is about.

The first chapter tells us a bit about Vera's life - she has a conversation with her (very sweet) fiance, Connor, where they establish that she's going to be at this cabin alone while he's off doing field research for his own profession. From there, the story whips back and forth between Vera writing and going about her day, and the brutal actions of this killer.

Throughout the story, we see more and more details about this killers envy of women, and Vera's own struggles with dysphoria. Much like in prison, she can only talk to Connor over the phone, and she feels she's growing more distant from him to the point where she becomes increasingly envious and thinks he might be cheating on her - a thought fueled by her returning dysphoria. Later in the book, we see that the killer's motivations for tormenting women come from a hatred of them, a hatred which is later revealed to be jealousy in disguise. He wants to be a woman, but believes he can't be - and that makes him want to torment attractive women because it's not fair that he can't be one too.

The two parts of the story meet at the end, and you realize that the killer is what Vera could have become if she repressed herself any longer. As a transgender man myself, I absolutely loved this metaphor. Many people who are trans, before they realize it, put themselves through their own personal conversion therapy, where they tried to stuff down the other gender as much as possible. And that's essentially what this killer is doing - he's not just tormenting some woman he's kidnapped, but metaphorically, he's tormenting the woman within Vera, chaining her up and keeping her trapped and oppressed.

The torment that he enacts really makes the reader squirm, as it should - it's intended to evoke ever-present discomfort, which is exactly what gender dysphoria is too. As I read, I think on some level I always knew how it was going to end, even though it still kept me guessing. Because it matched up with my own experiences so well, I had the suspicion that the killer was just another side of Vera, but I never knew how the two elements were going to come together until the very last page.

The storytelling structure of Unmarked Grave is non-linear, very unconventional. If you're looking for something plotty and straightforward, this isn't it - it's a reflection of personal experiences, which are always messy and never fully resolved. It's raw and brutal.

The extreme horror serves it well for that reason. At best, dysphoria makes you uncomfortable, and at worst it makes you feel like you're going insane. A genre like extreme horror is perfect for evoking that feeling. The constant s itching between points of view is also extremely disorienting, and while that made it occasionally difficult to follow, I see why the author made that choice, as it serves the metaphor well.

I highly recommend this book to any queer horror fans out there - you can purchase it on Amazon, where you can also find Carietta Dorsch's other works, including a short story collection she released just last month. If you want to learn more about her, she did an interview on the Unveiling Nightmares channel with Asher Dark, where she goes into more detail about her work.

Lastly, I wanted to share some pictures of my copy of the book - I purchased a signed copy, and what she did with the packaging was so neat I just have to share it with everyone:

She packed it in an envelope designed to look like police evidence, and included a few horror movies stickers and fake cockroaches to go along with the theme. My favorite touch on the evidence package is under remarks, where it says "STAY OUT OF THE WOODS".

And of course, here's her signature:

If you read it, don't forget to leave a review - much like small businesses, indie authors live and die by reviews. If not, please reblog and share to support a trans horror creator!!

[notbecauseofvictories]

Halloween Week of Horror (Games)

It’s that most horrible time of year, and I've decided to explore the spooky world of text-based games. My list of games is cribbed from this post and this post.

GAMEIFY HORROR // DAY 1 // DAY 2

DAY 3: singing from the far side of the hill, leave house, contrition, familiar, jagged bone

singing from the far side of the hill

about a trans woman, homeless after a bad breakup, who rents a stranger’s spare room. it’s a decision she comes to regret.

Yet another game with no images, just red-and-white text, that nevertheless managed to be hyper-realized---I could practically see the slightly shabby, nevertheless neatly kept house, the old-fashioned door, the disconnected telephone, the medicine cabinet stuffed with empty pill bottles. I loved that it ended with the protagonist running from the law who won’t understand, something she can’t even properly explain.

Also, (spoilers!) the image of Kathleen deepthroating the doorknob---which is perhaps the closest she can get to abusing her beleaguered daughter, who did not want to be a son---will stay with me a long, long time.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 5/10, it trips into the bizarre and surreal and horrific, but isn't particularly frightening

OVERALL GRADE: B+

leave house

leave house

Unfortunately, I had to give up on this one. A very cool concept—you enter an empty, abandoned house, poke around----but after 5 minutes stuck on the stairs with no clear route forward, I gave up. In theory I approve? A haunted house you are literally trapped in, running up and down stairs, trying to escape the loop, is a cool concept. In actuality, it felt frustrating and sudden and somehow still muted.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 0/10

OVERALL GRADE: C

contrition

As a priest, it’s your job to listen to your parishioners’ darkest secrets and absolve their guilt. But when a sinister stranger comes to the confessional one Halloween night, you realize it’s your soul on the line.

I'm sure everyone reading this will be shocked to learn that nothing gets me where I live quite like the nexus of Catholicism and horror---and this game exploited that mercilessly. Is the stranger who turns up in the confessional an infernal agent? Is he the devil himself? Or is he just a malicious sort of manipulator, quintessentially human, hiding behind the confessional screen?

(Are you saved? Are you damned? Will you ever know?)

Since I'm the target audience for this kind of story, it landed beautifully. I do think that nature of the sin shared was something of a misstep---though the way the priest reacts, how he covers up the sin once discovered and the harm he does to protect himself, was much more compelling. Also, I liked the ambient noises, and thought they were well-utilized.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 3/10, uncanny but not horrific

OVERALL GRADE: A-

familiar

You are a familiar. Your mistress has some requests for you. Help her complete her ritual, or pay the price of failure.

This game is simple, even straightforward: fetch what your witch-mistress asks of you, even if it requires violence. It's an interesting premise, with lots of room to sprawl out, and the places/people you encounter---the sleeping town, the lovers in the restless woods, the old woman on the mountain---are lovely to imagine.

That said, it felt underdeveloped. An intriguing concept and a couple different paths, but largely static; not as immersive as I wanted the game to be. I did like that, if you refuse to bring the witch what she asks for, the story ends with you ripping her heart, and gaining your freedom. A little touch of righteous violence.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 2/10, exclusively for the violence

OVERALL GRADE: B-

jagged bone

A branching choose-your-own-adventure horror game about transformation and perspective. 

I found this one a little difficult to immerse myself in; I made the mistake of choosing the wrong "path" from the outset, and so was on my back foot when it came to understanding what was going on. That said, I did genuinely like it—a mix of inexplicable horror, family, and house-as-locus that worked for me. I played through a couple different narratives (the game made it easy for that end) and all of them were horrible and effective, if not quite as incisive as I wanted.

(Though the monster at the heart of the story is deliciously imagined---say whatever you like, but I'm always weak for a fucked up deer.)

A very respectable effort, even if I wanted more from it.

SPOOKY LEVEL: 3/10, and then mostly for the scenes where you have to fight the monster you encounter

OVERALL GRADE: B

[pynkhues]

curious as to your thoughts on the may december discourse (some spoilers i guess) - vili has come out and essentially said that he felt the film contributed to his victimization and hurt him. and the response from a lot of film twitter seems to be to yell ITS NOT A BIOPIC and to say he doesnt understand the film (gross). i feel like i dont really care if its a biopic or not, when the film literally quoted vili/mary kay, recreated the mary kay in prison photo exactly, and both charles melton and julianne moore studied vili/mary kay for their performances. to hand wave that all as "not a biopic" feels like a way of writing off any discomfort. i feel like the film should not have made those specific choices, but having done so they had a duty of care to vili. i dont think the film that ended up getting made is worth the continued trauma to vili even if it is art. there were other ways they could have told the story to minimize the harm and they chose not to - and i dont think that choice is a great commentary on tabloids or whatever, its just a ghoulish thing to do

I did see that, anon, and I do have thoughts on it as it's a real grey area in terms of creative license, art and storytelling, and it's a grey area that's been around really since storytelling existed, but before I get into that I just want to quickly clarify what Vili said, because I do think it's important.

Vili didn't say that the film contributed to his victimisation and hurt him, he said the film offended him because it was a ripoff:

“I’m still alive and well,” says Fualaau, now 40 and still living in the Seattle area, where the scandal unfolded. “If they had reached out to me, we could have worked together on a masterpiece. Instead, they chose to do a ripoff of my original story. “I’m offended by the entire project and the lack of respect given to me — who lived through a real story and is still living it,” he adds.

“I love movies — good movies,” he says. “And I admire ones that capture the essence and complications of real-life events. You know, movies that allow you to see or realize something new every time you watch them. “Those kinds of writers and directors — someone who can do that — would be perfect to work with, because my story is not nearly as simple as this movie [portrays],” Fualaau adds.

The reason I think this distinction is an important one to make is because in interviews since Mary Kay Letourneau passing, it's pretty clear that Vili - while absolutely being a victim-survivor - doesn't see himself that way, and even says pretty specifically in his Doctor Oz interview from 2020 that he doesn't see her as a predator or himself as having been preyed on ('there was no perversion...she was my wife and my best friend' are his exact words), and he's pretty clearly open to the idea of a film being made about his story.

I'm not saying this to diminish his feelings about May December at all (I strongly believe that Vili is entitled to feel any and every which way about the film) or to patronise his own understanding of what he experienced - I can't even begin to imagine the complexity of trying to unpack the life he shared with her - but I think it's important to reflect his feelings accurately and to provide a little context to those feelings.

With that said, do I think the creative team should've reached out to Vili before making the film?

Honestly, I don't know.

I think it's one of those questions in art where there's not really a right answer. If Vili's feelings towards Mary Kay are still lost in the silver linings of her grooming, any film that has his direct approval or involvement is going to run the risk of tacit endorsement. It also hamstrings the creative team and opens them up in terms of liability (I actually was a writers assistant on a TV show a million years ago that was sort of a bio pic and I can tell you for a fact that it was a disaster once the person it was based on got involved), and, of course, it runs the risk of shifting the focus of the story the writer is wanting to tell.

And that's the thing about art, right? By design, art is supposed to reflect us back to ourselves in ways that we might not always be comfortable with. Of course, that usually happens less literally than in how Todd Haynes has used Vili and Mary Kay's stories, but not always. Todd Haynes is certainly no stranger to the technique given Velvet Goldmine is pretty transparently inspired by David Bowie and I'm Not There is often confused as a Bob Dylan bio pic despite the fact that it's actually not.

Hell, everyone loves that Succession points a pretty clear finger to the Murdoch's, and while, of course, the Murdoch's - and Bowie and Dylan for that matter - have social, political and economic power that Vili doesn't which does impact the ethics of the decision, it's still made under the same creative ideology that aspects of a real story can render an artwork, a story, a film more emotionally authentic, can create greater resonance, can offer a sharper reflection of the world we live in and offer, perhaps, a message or a question that lingers.

All of this has actually kind of been funny timing as I just finished reading Sarah Weinman's The Real Lolita the other day which is a really excellent blend of true crime, literary history and critical commentary on this exact topic. The book explores the real life case of Sally Horner who was kidnapped by a pedophile in 1948 when she was 11 years old and was forced to roadtrip with him around America for two years. It's actually mentioned in passing in Nabokov's Lolita, but once you go a little deeper it's pretty clear how much of Horner and her story Nabokov used to create Dolores Haze / Lolita.

In the book, Weinnman asks the question as to why Lolita gets to be remembered when Sally's been left to obscurity, and of course, the answer is that there are other Sally's in the news cycle, but only one Lolita in art, and that hopefully in her writing Sally Horner's story she can write her back into bookshelves and place her back into this artwork but who knows if that's what Sally would've wanted (Sarah does, at least, talk to Sally's lone surviving family member, and makes a measure to show that it's very unlikely Nabokov ever did the same).

Was Nabokov wrong for not seeking out Sally's family for Lolita? Honestly, I doubt it even would've occured to him to do so, and the fact that we do now ask questions like this about the ethics of inspiration is, I think, a good thing. We should be critical of how stories are told and who is, and isn't, involved in the telling of them, but again, I don't actually think there are right or wrong answers here.

Fiction is always inspired by real people, real events, real life, it's a part of creation, it's a part of capturing a moment in time, it's about reflection and authenticity, but of course that's been rendered more complex in recent years by the fact that we live in a world that's ever shrinking and the people or the events that inspire new stories are inevitably brought into the public narrative in a way they just weren't back in 1955 when Lolita was first published.

So what does that mean for creativity and inspiration? I don't know, but personally I guess my thoughts would be that Vili is absolutely in his rights to be offended by the film, but I also don't think the filmmakers were wrong necessarily to not reach out. It's not the most ethical choice, but I also don't think it was an inherently bad one either. This isn't a Blonde situation where they write fiction and present it as fact, the creatives have been clear about it being inspried by what happened between Mary Kay and Vili, but they're also not saying Vili and Mary Kay are Joe and Gracie.

I appreciate you feeling like it's much of a muchness though given how they've apparently lifted entire scenes of dialogue. It's a murky question after all, and it's certainly one that's more complex when it comes to people like Vili and Sally than it is with the Murdoch's or even David Bowie, but yes, I'm not sure I see it as something inherently wrong, and I don't personally think it was ghoulish. I just think the specifics of this particular case just kind of shows how the sausage is made when it comes to storytelling.

[theneighborhoodwatch]

i have been trying to make this into a coherent post for days and have gotten Nowhere so you will have to put up with this borderline incoherent trail of thoughts instead. okay here we go:

dorelaine sounds like it was meant to be a mondegreen of darling (or vice-versa depending on what perspective you're seeing it from) which lends some credence to the WHRP's insistence that ronald dorelaine Must be the creator of welcome home (again - "must be," not "is," which is odd.)

wally as a self-insert for dorelaine? this information sponge who kind of exists to learn from his friends/loved ones on our behalf, the audience surrogate, a slate so blank he didn't know what a clown was until someone asked him to draw one. what about a character like that would cause someone to draw on their own traits to write him?

in that same vein, wally being not only a self-insert but an Ideal Self? if so, what about the above traits would have been Desirable to dorelaine? wally being representative of a desire for some kind of "fresh start"? or perhaps of flawlessness by way of (initially) not knowing there are flaws to be had? ignorance is bliss and all.

y'know. i was talking about this in a metaphorical sense and was gonna go on about how like i wonder what it will look like the further things progress and wally deviates more from this aspect of himself (assuming he hasn't already. dorelaine probably was not quite so attached to his house, for one thing) but i think this might be one of the only contexts in which a literal(ish) possession story could work - i.e. how far do you think someone would go to discard their original identity and become their ideal self?

i was gonna elaborate on that but then i realized i was just describing the season one plot twist from surviving romance.

[spoilers for surviving romance, obviously] by which i mean: yknow how it turns out that the protagonist, who is now the MC of the novel the entire story takes place in, actually used to be the author of the novel? and the whole thing was written in an attempt to justify her own suffering (without actually unpacking any of her trauma or the defeatism that was beaten into her by her circumstances) by giving her idealized self-insert (the original MC) a happy ending after a series of borderline comedic acts of cruelty - something she felt she would never be able to achieve herself? and how she only remembers this after repressing it long enough to form relationships with the other characters in the novel after being thrown into a life or death situation and realizing that they all have a lot more depth and interiority than the original novel's narration afforded them? yeah? Yeah.

that's not the Whole plot twist but it is the part of it that's the most relevant to this post.

but hey, maybe there's no literal possession/reincarnation/transmutation/Whatever stuff going on. in fact, for now i'm confident in that not being the case, at least not literally. but i still think if wally being some kind of self-insert or at least being based on ronald dorelaine in some capacity is canon, then it is worth noting bc like. wally As We Understand Him so far exists to absorb and reflect the world around him and the people in it in order to guide us, the audience. if he turns out to be a self-insert on top of that, then he also exists to reflect his creator in some form. for as much as everything seems to revolve around him (even when we Know for a fact that whatever happened had an effect on the other neighbors as well) it's kind of hard to imagine wally existing as his own guy; he always exists in relation to something or someone else.

one has to wonder how he feels about that. he seems confident that it will all work out in the end (whatever "it" is) but, well. this Is a horror story.

something about what i said a while ago, about the puppets being more affected by unconscious decisions - "things left unsaid," in particular.

still think about Metaphorical hauntings in welcome home though. that one guillermo del toro quote - "What is a ghost? A tragedy condemned to repeat itself time and again? A moment of pain, perhaps. [...] An emotion suspended in time. Like a blurred photograph. Like an insect trapped in amber."

"ah but doesn't home also lend themself to a good possession story?" so close! i think whatever's going on with home is closer to necromancy/a state of Undeath than anything else. i will not be elaborating at this point in time <3

..... possible future holy trinity imagery with dorelaine, wally, and home? father/son/holy spirit? unlikely but Could you imagine.

ah. i think here is when the thoughts run out. thanks 4 reading.

[londonspirit]

Spoilers follow for the season finale of Our Flag Means Death.

After starting the season with its lovable cast split in two, Our Flag Means Death concluded its second season with the entire crew of the Revenge sailing off together into the literal sunset—well, almost the entire crew. With Rhys Darby’s Stede and Taika Waititi’s Blackbeard staying behind on land to make a go at being innkeepers, they’ve found their happy ending, which could be where the story of Our Flag Means Death finishes for good.

But according to series creator David Jenkins, there’s still more story to tell, and the fans rallying behind a third season may just help make that dream come true. After witnessing the filming of the season finale on the show’s New Zealand set—including Black Pete (Matthew Maher) and Lucius’s (Nathan Foad) emotional knife-swapping wedding—we caught up with Jenkins to discuss the most emotional moments of the finale, the dramatic action sequences, and what might come next.

Vanity Fair: What did you hope to achieve with the ending of season two?

David Jenkins: It’s bittersweet. There’s death and there’s the rebirth of Stede and Blackbeard’s relationship; there’s a funeral, there’s a wedding, and the idea that this family is going to keep fighting even as they lose members. And then it’s about belonging to something. It’s not just a bunch of people who are desperately stealing from each other and killing each other. There’s a way of life that they’re fighting for.

You’ve talked in the past about a season three. Fans are already circulating petitions, hoping there will be a third season. Will we get to see these pirates again?

There’s always a chance, if viewership is good. I think we all need to figure out what era of television we’re going to be in when we come back and who can afford what. I like our odds. It’s a cool show. We have a really good following. We have a passionate fan base. Max has been great in terms of publicizing us. I’d love to do another season of the show. I’m sure they’d love to have a reason to do it again. You can feel like it’s special making it. It would be nice to be able to get everybody together again for one last shot at it.

So despite the happy endings in the finale, you’ve left things open for a third season.

A lot of times, with this narrative of characters, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it’s unrequited or it’s unrealized; something horrible happens and they’re punished in a way. So it was important to leave it open and a lot more show to go, but also leave it in a place where it’s happy. The end of the first season isn’t a happy ending. It’s kind of happy. Stede learns what love is and that’s happy. But I think it was important to be like, Okay, these boys did their work this season. They get to have a little happiness at the end of it.

I visited the set when you were filming one of the final episodes. Izzy (Con O’Neill) had been killed off, and he couldn’t talk too much about that. But now: Why did Izzy have to die?

There’s a trope that I like with mentor stories, where the mentor dies in the second act. Our protagonist outlives the mentor and then they have to go on. We felt like Izzy’s story had reached its conclusion, where we put him through enough. And then there was the realization that he is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard. It felt nice to have him die and have Blackbeard be upset by it, because Blackbeard killed his father. But this is a father figure that he’s losing that it’s hard for him; it's sad and he doesn't want him to go. Izzy has such a beautiful arc in season two; he does a lot of the things, has a lot of the breakthroughs that you want that character to have. It felt like: It’s time to give him a full meal. And it’s also a pirate show, so he’s got to die.

How would you describe the filming of season two?

It was good work, but it was hard, hard work. It’s a big show; it’s basically a one-hour show that we’re doing on a half-hour budget. So everybody has to work triple time keeping up with it. There were tactical challenges in season two. Now we’ve got two ships and two crews, and we had the unique challenge of filming the mermaid scene in a tank, and a storm in one episode. I love the fourth episode, and Buttons turning into a bird, and Izzy losing a leg. Blackbeard is saying: “I want to turn into a bird.’’ He’s kind of saying, I need to change. The idea that if you want to have something with this guy (Stede), you’ve got to change. And that seems to me to be the key to the season.

As a New Zealander, I loved seeing the scenery on the big screen—the lush bush, big, windswept beaches, and wild, expansive landscapes. How were you able to use the setting in season two in New Zealand?

It was jaw-dropping. In New Zealand, you go out the west side of Auckland, and it’s like the most beautiful beach you’ve ever seen. You go to Bethells Beach, and you can turn the camera here; you can shoot the entire thing. You’d shoot it a little bit this way, you’ve got, like, a Bergman movie. You go to the ocean, you’ve got From Here to Eternity. The freedom that you have and the beauty, I’ve never experienced anything like that before.

The battle scenes seemed to be far more elaborate and really felt like the show was leveling up. What went into filming those?

Jacob Tomuri, our stunt coordinator, is exceptional. He did Mad Max; he’s Tom Hardy’s stunt double, and he’s just so capable and good. And so a lot of it this season was that we have a short time frame, we move very quickly, and, again, we have a half-hour budget. We don’t have a one-hour budget, and we don’t have a one-hour shooting schedule. So a lot of it was just picking our shots and saying, Okay, we’re going to do a battle sequence. Let’s storyboard it. Let’s make sure that we know what the stunts are going to be, and let’s make sure that the location is spectacular. So we shoot it on that sandbar behind Bethells Beach, and it was like a dune which went on forever…. A lot of it is just seeing what New Zealand has to offer geographically. And then deciding, yes, let’s do that, and then building it around that, and then making sure that we’ve planned enough, that we can pull it off in a way that’s safe but also has enough size.

What was the idea behind having Stede as a merman in episode 3?

The idea was to make something that was just beautiful, and to get beauty and have beauty around them seeing each other again and their need for each other. To do that and to do it in a way that it’s a comedy, but to do it in a way that’s earnest and genuinely doing it and singing a Kate Bush song. We hit on the idea of a mermaid early on in the season two room, and [we said], Oh yeah, well, we have to put that in. There can’t really be mermaids on the show, but there can be in limbo, kind of purgatory, brain-damaged land as Blackbeard’s dying.

I particularly loved Zheng Yi Sao and the new female characters. I know that she’s based on a real-life pirate. Tell us a bit about the character of Zheng and how she came about.

Zheng Yi Sao is the most successful pirate in history. And we never knew anything about her in the West. She was so talented and so good at what she did that the Chinese government had to broker a treaty with her. She was about 100 years apart from Blackbeard and Stede. So we’re making that up, that she’s in this world and that she’s in the West. But it just seems like there should be so many stories. What she did was amazing. Her crew was largely female and largely women that have been discarded by society.

She was doing a social movement on top of robbing shit and doing everything that pirates do. Her reasons for doing it are more impressive and perhaps can be read a little bit more as altruism than somebody like Blackbeard, who is not a good guy. Or Stede, who’s probably not the best guy. And it just felt fun. It’s like, Well, who’s a cool third captain that we can put into this season that would give Blackbeard and Stede a run for their money?

As a female heterosexual viewer, I particularly loved that storyline. Were you wanting to reach a broader audience?

The first season is a lot of dudes. And so it’s nice to think, Okay, who else can we add into the stew? I started thinking about her while we were shooting season one. And it looked like perhaps we could get a season two, and she seemed like the most formidable person to add.

How do you feel about the attention from the fans?

I love it. I can’t possibly hope for this to happen again on another project. I hope I make things that people like and they want to engage with. But I would say the thing that separates this fandom is the level of positivity, like almost uniform positivity that just makes it nice to be able to engage with. And I think that’s rare. They’re so kind and interesting and talented, and so why wouldn’t you want to engage with that? It’s an honor.

Do you think of Our Flag Means Death as primarily a queer romance?  For this show, it’s important to me just to write a really bold-bodied romantic show that happens to be between two characters of the same sex. I think that the story beats don’t matter, because if you’ve been in love and you’ve been hurt and you met someone you love—hopefully we all know what those feelings are. And then in terms of listening to the room and having a room that’s on a spectrum of queerness and has nonbinary writers, if it's working for everyone in the room, the story’s working. And if it’s bumping for anybody, then you go in and retool: Hey, what should we do here to make sure that we’re getting all of it right and we’re not just assuming that?

Because on some level, love is love. And on another level, I get to see myself in a rom-com all the time. Someone who’s nonbinary and someone who’s queer doesn’t get to see themselves in a mainstream rom-com pirate thing almost ever.

Are there any other characters you want to talk about in terms of their development in season two, that you feel are relevant to the script?

Izzy’s the big one of the season. Just to give him a whole meal and see that character go from a villain into somebody, really, that you can identify with and care about. And Con O’Neill did such beautiful work. I love him as an actor. His character is a joy to write. And maybe it’s masochism, but I do feel like the character that’s a joy to write often dies.

How about Blackbeard and his arc?

He’s a damaged guy. He learns to love and he almost dies. And he comes back. He kind of goes through rehab. He has to wear a bell on his neck like a cat. No one trusts him. He’s like in Superman 2, where Christopher Reeve loses his powers, and he’s immortal. What happens if Blackbeard loses his powers and his outfit but still has to be in a pirate world? Who is that guy? The first season is about Stede Bonnet’s midlife crisis, and the second season is about Blackbeard’s midlife crisis. And then when they both have their midlife crises, they can open a B&B together. The chemistry between Rhys and Taika, and that friendship of 20 years, is key to the season.

How would you describe Blackbeard and Stede’s relationship in season two?

I don’t think Stede and Blackbeard are ready to be married. They’re emotionally saying: “Let’s give this a go.’’ Black Pete and Lucius are a little further along, and I think a little more mature. And yeah, it was also nice to see a formal union, I think, and between those characters. I love that relationship, and I love Matt Maher and Nathan Foad together; they have such a wonderful chemistry. It’s nice to see that couple kind of come to the fore in terms of maturity, that they are in fact a little more mature than Stede and Blackbeard.

A left field question: What level of research have you done on gay relationships on pirate ships? How common was queer romance among pirates?

Pirating has been so whitewashed and straightwashed, and it’s guys on boats confined to small spaces, and they’re also people that didn’t fit into normal culture. And so I do think there’s a history of same-sex romance at sea because it’s people who don’t fit in on land.

To not talk about that in a pirate story is to not really tell a pirate story. They’re criminals and did some really terrible things, but also, like, they were counterculture, and there was a reason they’re on those boats beyond the fact of being poor. I have to believe that in a society that has a term for marriage between crew members, same-sex romance was common.

The season’s third episode is called “The Innkeeper,” which fans definitely took as a hint toward a potential fate. How did you seed that outcome for Stede and Blackbeard through the season? And did you want fans to see it coming in a way?

I don’t know that you could really see it coming. We like the idea of Blackbeard pining for something. Beyond lighting ships on fire and shooting people, he’s longing for a normal life. We knew where we were going with that, and we knew that they would eventually end up perhaps opening an inn.

Back to the whole community around OFMD: Did you feel an enhanced level of responsibility, because people are feeling so seen by the show and have an affection for the show, when you were creating season two?

As opposed to responsibility, it feels more like relief—that people feel seen and they feel good about it and they liked what we did. And so it feels like, Okay, somebody’s out there and wants the show. The makeup of the writers room looks a lot like the makeup of the fan base. So as long as we’re true to our stories in the writers room, I think we just feel excited that there’s somebody waiting on the other end to enjoy it.

[mcknotanniegrey]

I know I'm in the minority and the show ended 2 years ago, but I've gotta get my Lucifer thoughts out somehow.

(Spoilers below)

So I finished the show and I expected to be disappointed based on what I was seeing of the internet's reaction to the ending... but i was pleasantly surprised to discover that I loved the ending. To quote Jeremy Strong, i thought it made sense dramaturgically. It was emotional, beautiful, and written with love to the original myth, the show's narrative arc, and the fans.

Like literally everyone got a happy ending, the show stayed true to its therapy concept and character arcs and growth, Lucifer and Amenadiel both learn from their father's mistakes and make different choices, Chloe is Amenagod's consultant and lives her human life feeling fulfilled, and still a Deckerstar happy ending! That's incredibly difficult to wrap up so much character development and the series as a whole in a "happy ending" way while also staying true to the integrity of the art.

The years Chloe and Lucifer spend physically apart (but still emotionally together) echo the myth of Hades and Persephone, staying true to the eternal love story with the bittersweet yearning and the reunion. What's a few decades when you're looking at eternity? It's as Rory said, that time is a blip in their existence. After the time loop is resolved, the whole family can visit and be together again. We get cake & eat it too!

There were some things I have critique for, of course. Amenadiel discovering racism again and his investigations felt out of place on their own; but I can justify this arc to myself for a few reasons: 1) it echoes the journey both Amenadiel and Lucifer take realizing that the entire system is flawed and how they want to change things if they had the power/authority to do so 2) there's a social responsibility I'm sure the showrunners felt about a police procedural show, given how we know these shows affect perceptions of police and in fact are used as propaganda that affects the public's perception of the current (and past and still happening now post-show...) events. It makes sense that the writers and actors would want to comment on this while also being quite hopeful in aligning with the show's themes about change and improvement. The system is terribly flawed, but there's still hope because we can change things and confront the injustice. 3) Amenadiel can't solve systemic racism for humanity because we need to do it ourselves. Amenagod fixing this would be the cheap way out narratively and also pessimistic in its messaging that IRL we can't do anything without the divine stepping in and undoing our mistakes. 4) Chloe wouldn't be happy being only Mrs. G, wife and mother. She is the Detective and both she and Lucifer realize that this part of her identity is integral; neither of them want her to have to sacrifice this. By being Amenagod's consultant and continuing her career as lieutenant, Chloe still has her independence and own identity outside of being Lucifer's partner. She's able to live a fulfilling human life without commuting back and forth from earth to heaven/hell.

Another critism is that all of the main characters were romantically paired up by the series end, when that doesn't have to be the ideal ending for someone at all. It sucks that we had to make sure Ella finally got a good boyfriend, as an example, especially when her arc confronting her own darkness and refinding her faith felt much more important and emotionally poignant in my opinion. But I can also see how this choice was probably made to support the fans and give favorite characters a happy ending, rather than only appealing to the Deckerstar fans.

I don't know, I guess I'm just so surprised that it seems (from reddit at least) that people hated the ending so much as to compare it to GOT - when David Benioff and D.B. Weiss clearly wanted their own show to be over and done without caring about the narrative arc at all - when it just seems so apparent to me that Ildy Modrovich and Joe Henderson clearly cared deeply about their show and wanted to give an ending that fit narratively/had integrity as a story and also was a love letter to the fans who'd saved the show to begin with.

[multismileee]

Another week, another Cherry Magic Thailand review!!!

Okay, let me preface by saying my expectations going into this week’s episode was lower than usual. Now you might be wondering why that is (no one probably is but let me pretend), I made the mistake of reading a thread before I started the episode and I saw someone say that the episode felt like it dragged.

So while I went in kind of iffy, it’s safe to say that this episode did not disappoint.

‼️ SPOILER ALERT: STOP READING IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED AND DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR EP 7 ‼️

Karan is the standard, the greenest of green flags. I love him. I want someone to treat me like he does Achi. The fact he based his whole date around one throwaway comment Achi made about how watching the sunrise and sunset with him is special, I’M SO SOFT. The jacket? The personal coffee shop? The whole helicopter ride? Ugh perfection. I also love that once Achi told him he’s not comfortable with certain parts of the date, Karan instantly made it known that all he cares about is having the perfect date with him. AND HE WANTS TO TELL HIS FRIEND WHAT THEY ARE AND DONT WANT ACHI TO REGRET SAYING YES TO DATES.

I also have to say I really love Jinta, not only is he so adorable with Min (I will come back to this I promise) but also he’s such a good friend to Achi. When Achi told Jinta how he felt, he gave him the most real and sincere advice… be honest with Karan. And Achi did just that, he told Karan how he didn’t feel comfortable with Karan buying him the jacket, and that he’s afraid of heights. The conversation was such good demonstration of healthy communication fr.

Back to Min and Jinta, the whole cafe scene??? I’m literally squealing. I love how Jinta realized that he doesn’t have to read Min's mind to learn what he likes and instead can just ask him. And then immediately applying what he learned AND helping his friend with the same advice? Yessir I love Jinta!! Also jinta is cute with and without glasses… 😩

OH AND KARAN AND ACHI ARE BOYFRIENDS NOW??? HELLO IM SCREAMING. I am Pai, Pai is me. She’s so real for loving them. Anyways I’m super satisfied with this episode and I’m so excited for next week’s.

About next week’s episode, I’m nervous. I can’t believe there’s a no dating rule at the office BOOOOOO. Looks like Pai and Dujdao are eavesdropping/ find out about it too. The preview makes it look like the boss disapproves but I’m hoping it’s fake… he’s actual a shipper okay guys? He literally told me personally. (delulu is the solulu okay)! But also Karan saying “let me prove it” gave me butterflies. I’m so excited and I’m honestly so happy with the way the story is progressing.

[the---hermit]

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

I've had this book on my tbr since forever. It's not the first book I read by this author, a few years ago I had read Eaters Of The Dead, which I loved. Even though I have seen the Jurassic Park movies mutiple times it's been so long I didn't really remember much, which made the reading experience even better. I must say I really like Crichton's writing, but I have mixed feelings towards this book.

It's very unlikely that you don't know the plot of this story, but here it is anyway. Thanks to the developments of genetics and science a rich old man founds this project for a future amusement park, in which the main attraction will be actual real life dinosaurs. The Jurassic Park is set on an island, fully dedicated to this projects, that several characters will end up visiting before its opening. This is very reductive, but it's the base line for what then happens. I have two main things I didn't love, firstly the fact that so many characters in this book read as incredibly stupid? I will add a few lines in the spoilery part under the cut, but there's a few scenes that left me speachless. It makes sense for Hammond to be ignorant and annoying, because at the end of the day he represents the rich man who does not care at all about the consiquences of his actions let alone the advices people give him. He has a project, he wants to make money out of it, and doesn't care about the rest. It's frustrating to read but it makes sense. Other things that happen do make sense because if it wasn't for them there would be no book, but one in particular felt a bit forced? (as I said look at the spoilery part if you want more context). So, overall I liked few characters, but that's alright the plot was very entertaining and it did its job as a book. The other thing I don't know how I feel about is the ending of the book. For some reason it felt a bit rushed? I don't know why honestly, but I found it very sudden and it was done in very few pages. maybe it wouldn't have made sense in other ways but it left me a bit confused. Aside from these two elements as I said I really liked my reading experience with this book. I wasn't expecting the theme of "this has only been done for financial gain" to be so prominent, but I very much appreaciated it. It's an overall entertaining novel, and the writing flows very well. I feel like it's a great book to escape without needing too much energy. I am not sure yet whether I will read the sequel, but I'll see in the future.

I read this book for the minimalist cover prompt of the jumbo reading challenge

This section contains spoilers

The main thing I thought was stupid is that the incredibly intelliget scientist who literally makes irl dinosaurs possible doesn't know that some animals can reproduce non-sexually or find a way to against all odds. I will say I for some reason was more thinking of asexual reproduction, but it definitely makes more sense that some of these dinosaurs changed sex like some frogs and fishes do (also trans raptors yaay, I loved them). But in general it felt a bit absurd that a scientist such as him didn't even remotly know about this. Okay, you might haven't considered when you were creating these dinosaurs, but when someone hints about it you should realize what is really going on right away. At least this is how I felt about it.