#no short jokes!
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guys I just found the greatest video on the internet
#tiktok#tiktoks#well actually this is from#instagram reels#Instagram#but we all know what i mean#short form videos#comedy#hahaha#🤓#funny#praying mantis#entomology#entomology jokes#and something else entirely#dogs#little dog#chihuahua#creachur#bad jokes#yeah#i think thats enough tags
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Well done to all involved with Small Things Like These at the IFTAs!
I'll admit, I thought one of the lads from Kneecap would scoop the award, but of course our man Cillian bagged it. I wonder if he got wind of Mo Chara's joke about him being short yet?!
#cillian murphy#irish books#movies#irish film#enda walsh#tim mielants#eileen walsh#clare keegan#ifta#iftas#Irish awards#irish author#irish writer#irish movie#irish films#small things like these#small things film#books#films#lead actor#congratulations!#kneecap#mo chara#no short jokes!
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google search why am i sad
google search how to not be sad
google search does going outside help with depression
google search nature parks near me
google search bus routes
google search hiking shoes
google search ergonomic hiking shoes
google search ergonomic hiking shoes excludesite: amazon.com
google search best water bottle
google search best water bottle outdoors
google search weather forecast
google search plant identification
google search plant identification with photos
google search tree with hand-shaped leaves
google search plant veins
google search plant veins pulsing
google search common wildlife
google search whitetail deer
google search how big is a whitetail deer
google search big deer
google search do deer have sharp teeth
google search can deer walk on two legs
google search deer talking
google search deer speaking english
google search are there plants that make you hallucinate
google search are there plants that make you hallucinate by inhaling
google search screaming woods
google search bird calls screaming
google search bird calls that sound like human screaming
google search nature park map
google search nature park parking lot directions
google search how to tell which way is north
google search what to do if you’re lost in the forest
google search how to outru
google search cjSi g m3wh Ts oudp
google search kfhwblp up mpsmFg
google search .
google search h
google search howtiapparhumN
google search hpwto ehuman
google search wgTdohunMnCtlije
google search how ti apear humN
google search how to appear human
#this started as a vent#then it turned into a joke#then it turned into short form horror#so uh#bone apple teeth#unreality
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Dazai is pretty portable, I think
#skk#soukoku#bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#bsd art#stars art#bsd fanart#chuuzai#chuuya x dazai#bungo stray dogs#happy valentines day#Dazai weighs less than a grape#and Chuuya is incredibly shredded#I almost had Dazai say a short joke instead of flirt#maybe ill draw an alternate ending
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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."
This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.
I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.
Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)
His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:
A) a short lived person
B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.
The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.
But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".
So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.
Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.
The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.
Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.
Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!
Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!
On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.
That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.
The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.
And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.
And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.
Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.
Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.
Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!
I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.
Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!
and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi meta#kabru of utaya#laios touden#labru#laios x kabru#dunmeshi#og post#kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo#the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord.#but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful.#whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite.#even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races#he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits#he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations#he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information#my beautiful machiavellian prince <3#it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo.#the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt#he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him#without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.
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The trees lumbered across the field.
It was a weird thing to watch. When a tree settled to rest or sniff at an interesting crocus, she could almost believe that it had been rooted to the spot for years; then the huge body would raise up on spidery roots and trundle forward with stupid placidity to follow the herd. When they all had settled to rest in the morning light, it was like the field had been turned into a misty woodland in seconds.
A sapling bounded up to her and sniffed at her wrist before bounding off again, spindly roots kicking with delight.
"It's pretty simple work," said the farmer. "We let them out to get some fresh air and sunlight, check them for blight. Every so often we have to lay out some manure, but that's pretty much it."
She watched the sapling. It stumbled on its own limbs and limped into the shade of its mother.
"It's pretty similar to raising cattle," said the farmer. "We raise them up for a couple years, and when they get big enough we take them down to the slaughterhouse and have them butchered."
"Wouldn't you send them to a logging mill or something?"
"Nope."
A chickadee whirred through the air and lighted onto a branch.
"There's good money in it, too," said the farmer. "There's a lot of demand for certain cuts of tree meat."
"You mean wood?"
"Nope."
There was a blur of branches. The tree ate the chickadee.
#'if this is all building up to a tree farm joke i'm very impressed' she said#'no i think the writer is just feeling weird today' said the farmer#narrativia#short story#microfiction#worldbuilding#if it turns out they do the same bit in dungeon meshi i'm gonna be viscerally upset
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I showed someone a photo of my room, and their response was “I thought this was a photo of a haunted house attraction at first”
I think. This is a success.

(This was the photo)
#context is we are making silly horror short films- and friend said we might need fake dead things for props#I said I have real dead things#I think they thought I was joking bc they went aaaah of course you just have a trove of dead things lying around???!?#and then I showed them the photo of my room#and explained… yes :3 I do ;3 and it’s all ethically procured by yours truly! straight from the forest floor!#vulture culture#bone collecting#bone collector#dead things
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siri play lockjaw by sir mix-a-lot


dilf agenda without the d
#because the d will be inside of me#JOKE#i'm about to lose my fucking shit#save me short haired mathew grey gubler with beard#mathew grey gubler#mgg#mgg pics#spencer reid#criminal minds
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i bet someone's done this before but i DID IT ANYWAY
(inspired by this video)
[patreon]
#team fortress 2#engineer#i don't actually know the name for engineersniper#engiesniper#sniperengie#z art#z comic#love imagining the dismayed Nos! in his voice#he's probably actually like 5'6 but whatever it's funnier to me if he's extra short in this#will i get tired of making short jokes at engie's expense? no#edit: it's trucks n vans apparently!#trucks n vans
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Cool detail about TEOS is that we grow the most during our lives (as in height) during sleep actually, so it's factually scientifically correct for Dave to be short because his parasomnia would affect that
so that's a cool detail cool casting choice happy they chose a short actor 👍👍👍👍👍👍
#markiplier#teos#the edge of sleep#dave torres#its a joke#but also true!#that is how growth hormone works#but also joke I know mark is not short#love and peace
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broke: jon is very short
woke: jon is slightly below average height and everyone he knows keeps acting like he's one centimetre tall
#this is MY headcanon and no one will ever change my mind about it#btw short jon hc is valid this is just a joke :3#tma#jon sims#magnusposting#silly girl yap sesh
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Y/N, looking at Azul’s baby picture: Oh wow, you were so shaped. So squishy and soft. Full of so much chub to love.
Azul: What are you talking about?? I was a fat, ugly octopus!
Y/N: Fat? Yes. Ugly? No. You were a proper butterball, of whom I would have held and kneaded like dough. Bake you right into an adorable cutiepie.~
Azul: I don’t know what is wrong with your brain and eyes, but I most certainly was not adorable as a kid! Now give me that- *tries to swipe back the picture*
Y/N, dodging him: Nope. You were lovable and round and oh-so baby.~
Azul: I was unlovable! Not like I am now!
Y/N: Oh shut up, that’s just the insecurities and unresolved childhood trauma talking!
Azul: My younger self would ink himself if he saw me now!
Y/N: You peaked in your childhood and will never reach that same level of endearment until you reclaim the chub you so foolishly threw away.
Azul: . . .
Y/N: Your childhood longing is calling, Azul. Answer it.
[Jade and Floyd watching this all go down in the doorway]
Floyd, shoveling popcorn into his mouth: Yeah, Azul, answer it!
Jade: Yes, heed their words, Azul, so that we can partake in your chub too.~
#Twisted Wonderland#TWST#Azul Ashengrotto#Floyd Leech#Jade Leech#Azul Ashengrotto X Reader#GN!Reader#found this old thing and found it stupidly funny#I think I wrote this at like 3AM when I couldn't sleep or something..?#I know I wrote more short joke fics and they're all on my phone somewhere in my notes but I can't find them
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[ * S A V E THE WORLD. ]
redrew this piece from May of 2020. about 4 1/2 years of improvement!

side-by-side
#undertale#utmv fanart#utmv#undertale au#inkblott#frisk undertale#undertale seven souls#undertale fanart#frisk fanart#sans undertale#toby fox#toby fox should hire me fr...#slash joking#😛😛😛#its so funny to me that after five years of struggling and deciding how i wanna draw frisk#that i eventually circle back to kid in blue and pink shirt and darker blue shorts and brown boots#LMAO#frisk i love you#my little baby you did nothing wrong#<333#redraw#2020 vs 2024
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needed to draw something this year for tomes bday...really wanted to draw her highschool friends
#anybody else get a lil choked up that she was able to find some girl friends and find connections with them... just me?#idk i think its so sweet how focused the spinoff was about this group of normal highschool girls... theyre not even espers or anything#my baby really has grown up!! <- reigen probably after offering her 300 yen an hour#i had to guess the hair colors for 3 of them cuz like well... theres no damn reigen spinoff ova yet...! they dont got official colors!!#wait hoshida doesnt have official colors either... he better be a brunet its canon to me at this point#also after reading the spinoff manga i realize i draw hoshida so small... hes a third year and is probably not nearly as short as i think..#my bad if ur a kid i just assume ur under 5'3 half the time... what a bad habit... ill draw him more taller next time lolo#my art#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen spinoff#tome kurata#hoshida origo#wait their names...?? i only know keiko and misa... i think the fujos name is yume... i dont know the joke girls name!! sorry i cant tag...
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Hey. Hey, guys. You'll never guess what I've been drawing.


Glisten: ...??
Glisten and his lame ass boyfriends!!!!!! Cheers to art dumps <3
[CW: SUGGESTIVE JOKE] More doodles below cut:
So! I know most of you come for the shinyshrimp stuff (WHICH WE WILL GET TO) but let me yap about Glisten and Razzle for a bit.
I LOVE YOU GLITTERMASK THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GLITTERMASK-
Glisten and Razzle got together like 3 months after Glisten and Boxten broke up. Razzle never really looked to Glisten that much outside of acquaintances (cuz he was kinda sorta lowkey jealous of Glisten's charisma and stage-presence). In fact, they were much more focused on Vee and maybe possibly had a crush on her, which is really funny in hindsight with Dazzle lol. However, after learning that Vee was a lesbian/being very rudely rejected by her, Razzle found comfort in Glisten and fell head-over-heels almost immediately.
The only problem is, Razzle has -10000 aura. His ass cannot be flirty or cool-charismatic at all.


Glisten: What do you do when you aren't distracting? Razzle: (Glisten likes mysterious people) I sell drugs!! Glisten: ... Excuse me? Razzle: (But Glisten also likes kind people) But ONLY to kids in need! Dazzle: (STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP-) *defeated whimper*
Razzle thinks he's that guy (they're not, they're pathetic honestly lol)
Also like, Razzle is suuuper dense when it comes to everyone except Dazzle. They struggle with self-reflection and other-people reflection, so he is completely convinced he is doing all the right things, when in actuality, they are very very very cringe.

Razzle: No see Dazzie, this is why they call me Rizzle. Dazzle: (No one has EVER called you that.)
Denseness is one hell of a drug, aye, fellas?
Dazzle is being pulled through the wringer trying to preserve whatever was left of her (and Razzle's) pride. It's not working. Girl is fighting for their life every time she is dragged over by Razzle in order to say a horrible pick-up line to Glisten.
(This is all pre-relationship btw. After they get together it becomes an inside joke and Glisten retorts with his own awful (although not nearly as bad) pick-up lines)
Now the moment you've been waiting forrrr 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
✨ Shinyshrimp ✨

I love them chat, I love them sm. They have so much drama and love and interesting things going on, they're so cool and fun n stuff and AUGHHHHH💥💥💥
Shrimpo being that one guy who craves affection but would literally bite anyone who gives it to him is so real to me. Homie wants a hug but ends up suplexing whoever hugged him outta reflex. Glisten, on the other hand, is one of the most affectionate people ever. He's not affectionate to everyone, but when you catch his interest (both platonic and romantic), he is very verbally and physically affectionate. He'll buy you things, he'll give you hugs, he'll let you invade his personal space, all stuff he would never let normies do.
Shrimpo loves this, however, homie has no idea how to deal with any kind of affection in a positive way. Cat-coded ahh guy. Glisten does find this amusing tho, so he's more inclined to be affectionate with Shrimpo to help him "get over it" in a way.

This is just for shits and giggles. I feel like everyone should draw this meme with their ships. It's a canon event at this point.
What can I say? He was hungry.

Can't forget my fankids. I love my fankids. I miss my fankids. I need to draw my fankids more istg I need to revamp their ask blog soon (especially with some new editions coming soon).
Also Hamlet looks smaller because most of his internal structure is made of ribbon and stuffing, so he shrinks into a ball when happy. He also loafs like a cat, what a guy.
Also also also what the skibidi sigma happened to my prep-jock ship?? Why is it backwards???

I drew these because I had a vision of the little doodle below and only thought it would work if they were swaped... sooooo... here we are.
Scapmi is a preppy goth-ish shrimp with an eye for fashion and artistry. With a smart mouth and a massive ego, he often comes off as an annoyance to others. He loves to be front and center in everything but often has to fight with his internalized idea that everything is a competition that he needs to win no matter what. It causes him a lot of stress and self-doubt, but he'd never let anyone see his weaknesses.
Gash is a shrap-toned violent mirror who speaks more with his fists than his voice. He hates everything that is not himself (and sweets) and makes sure people know that. He used to be a perfectionist, but after an accident permanently cracked his face, he dropped his "perfect" persona in favor of a messy, more hateful one. He wants connection but doesn't know how to express his needs in an understandable way, and that frustrates him immensely.
As you can see, match made in heaven.

Gash: DUDE, WHAT THE F*CK!? Scampi: There's a smudge on you- Gash: I DON'T CARE! LET GO!! Scampi: Not 'til I'm done. (Your natural blush is gorgeous; shame it's on you tho)
So yeah, swap shinyshrimp lore drop yippee.
Have a good one chat, til I reappear again✌️✌️
#cw suggestive joke#MY SHEILAAAAAAS OH MY SHEILAAAAASSS#also every time i post glittermask i feel like that one audio about the guy wanting to talk about birds#me: you give me one like and i'll show you 5 glittermask doodles!! i'll give you 100 glittermask doodles-!!#yall: everybody came for shinyshrimp-#me: PLEAAAAAAAAAASEEEEE!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#but anyways#she/they for dazzle plz#go forth and be cringe my skibidi sigmas life is too short to perserve your image#also if y'all wanna see more scampi and gash lmk#dandy's world#dandys world#dandy's world fanart#dandy's world oc#dandy's world glisten#dandy's world shrimpo#dandy's world razzle and dazzle#dandy's world ships#glisten the mirror#shrimpo the shrimp#razzle and dazzle the twin masks#glisten x shrimpo#shrimpo x glisten#glisten x razzle#razzle x glisten#glisten x boxten (mention)#glisten x rodger (mention)#shimmer the glass shrimp#hamlet the masquerade mask#fankids
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Project for my art class cuz god forbid I be normal
My teacher made me turn it into a comic
Have fun~~~
#fanart#the magnus archives#tma fanart#jonathan sims#jon archivist#the magnus archive fanart#jon sims#pretty jon#martin blackwood#tim stoker#comic#he's too short to wrench himself out of there#Tim left him there and turned the lights out as a joke but he was actually stuck#he's been in there for 45 minutes#martin just wanted to make tea#now they have to bodily lift their boss out of the sink#martin k blackwood#the magnus pod#tma fandom#tma#jon needs a break#Tim didn't do anything wrong Jon's just dramatic#s1 archives crew#tma s1
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