#no shade on Sherlock fans I just missed it!
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I never watched BBC Sherlock or engaged in the fandom and being into original Sherlock Holmes in the year 2024 feels like frolicking in a meadow that’s grown up over a battlefield. Occasionally a war weary veteran with shadows in their eyes will find me. “Don’t you know what happened in this place?” they ask me. “I literally don’t,” I reply, and go back to drawing guys from 1895.
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Radioapple concept? I'm your biggest fan!
Alastor surveyed the shelf of books. He hummed, unsure of which one to indulge in next. He’d already finished all of Sherlock's books. But he wasn’t privy to any of these other authors. He tilted his head at a passing librarian, “excuse me, miss.” The woman paused, “Would you have a recommendation for a good mystery novel? I can’t seep to find one after Sherlock.”
She smiled, “sure.” She said walking beside him. She reached her hand up trailing her fingers along the spines of the books. “Hmmm…here’s you go,” she said plucking one out from the shelf. “This is one of my favorites at least. But Its a pretty good one.”
“Thank you.”
“Your welcome, let me know if you need anything else.” She said smile before walking away.
Alastor peered at the book in his hand. He turned it over to read the description on the back. He flinched when he felt something tug at the hem of his shirt. He looked down, surprised to find a small blonde-haired girl at his leg. He blinked down at her, “um…hello little one?” He said confused. Where were her parents?
When he spoke something in her eyes seemed to light up. A wide jovial grin spread across her round face. “It is you!” She said loudly. A few other patrons looked in his direction and he smiled nervously in regards to them. “Its you I knew it!”
“Charlie!” A voice came from around the corner soon after. Alastor peered up just in time for a short white man to dart around the corner of a bookshelf. His hair was the same shade of blonde as the girls. Ah, her father. His eyes scanned only briefly before finding her. He walked over quickly, “ah I am so so so so SO sorry!” He said picking up his daughter quickly and holding her in his arms.
“Its quite alright.” Alastor replied, pushing down a small wrinkle in his shirt the girl made.
Before the man could lecture his daughter she was tugging on his shirt now. “Daddy daddy look!” She pointed at Alastor. Nearly tumbling out of her fathers grasp. “It's the man from the radio!” She said gleefully.
Alastor raised his brow, understanding now.
“You can’t just run off like that.” He turned to Alastor, “again I am so sorry. She’s just a big fan of that radio show you do.” He paused, “uh…your the one who does it, right?”
Alastor's eyes smile widened a little, a ping of annoyance growing in his chest at the mans comment. “Why yes,” he reached his hand out. “I’m Alastor, pleasure to meet you little lady.” The small girl grinned with stars in her eyes as she grabbed Alastor’s much larger hand with two of her own and shook it. “And yes I am the host of that famous radio show.”
"I'm your BIGGEST fan!" The little girl declared. With a big grin.
Alastor grinned back. "How sweet." He paused, “I presume you are the girl's father?” He took his hand away even though the girl was still shaking it.
“Ah yes, my name's Lucifer.” He readjusted the girl in his arms so she was sitting on his bicep. “And this is my daughter, Charlie.”
“Hi!” She beamed.
Alastor pondered the name for a moment, “Lucifer hm? Quite an interesting name.”
The man blinked, “oh is it? Yeah I guess it is.” He laughed. “Guess it's not normal to be named after Satan haha.”
“Indeed.” Alastor said quaintly. He glanced at his watch. “Well it was a pleasure to meet you little lady,” He looked at Charlie “and you as well.” He nodded to Lucifer. “But I must really be off now.”
“Bye bye! Come back soon!” Charlie waved at Alastor as he took a step back and waved back. As he walked away he sighed heavily.
Lucifer...he knew that name. The name of the man from the wealthy side of New Orleans. Wouldn't be a bad idea to get in his good graces. He smiled.
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Confession time
I like this for Louis and the Little sister of holmes + date
Louis James Moriarty
A/N: The reader is Sherlock and Mycroft's youngest sister. AND I'M DONE WITH VALENTINE'S FINALLY! Tag/s: Holmes!Fem!Reader
"How dreadfully boring..." you sighed, leaning to the wall as you took another sip of wine, your eyes scanning the ballroom for something interesting.
Suddenly, a familiar shade of blond and glasses walked in, and your eyes lit up in interest.
"No way...!" you breathed out with a smile, stepping through the crowd and straight to the man.
"Mister Moriarty," you called out, making the man turn to you.
"Such a pleasure seeing you again," you courteously bowed with a smile while the man had a permanent scowl.
"Miss Holmes..." he greeted back, doing a short bow.
"I never thought I'd see you in a social event like this," you mused, a playful smile on your lips.
"Yes, well... My brothers wanted me to attend," he sighed, his eyes averting from you.
You raised a brow, "Are they here?" you questioned, not remembering spotting any of the two.
"No. Both of them are busy, but this is still an important social event," Louis answered, fixing his suit.
"So, I will bid you a good day," he smiled, venom seeping through as he excused himself.
"Aww, come on, Lou!" you giggled, following the man,
"Don't be so cold!"
For the rest of the night, you followed Louis, trying to start a conversation while he avoided you the best he could.
"You're really not much of a talker, are you, Lou?" you mused, following Louis as you looked around the floor.
"Miss Holmes," he muttered, sharply turning to you.
"May I ask why you follow me like a lost puppy?" he questioned, an aura of fire surrounding him.
"Surely there's something for you to do this evening,"
"Nope," you shook your head, "Like you, I'm just here for appearances." you shrugged, looking at the dance floor.
"This evening would have been an absolute snoozefest if you didn't arrive," you admitted, making him pause.
"What are you saying...?" he narrowed his eyes at you, making you smile.
"I'm saying..." you stepped closer to him, and he stepped back, "...that I'm glad you're in this dance with me," you genuinely answered, making him stumble.
"...What are you playing at, Holmes?" he asked, making you breathe out a smile.
"I'm not playing, Louis," you reassured, chuckling a little.
"Is it that unbelievable that I like spending time with you?" you asked, confusing him even more.
"But if you wish me gone that much, I won't force you to keep me company," you reassured, stepping back.
"Have a good evening, Mister Moriarty," you smiled with a bow, walking away.
"Wait," Louis called out, grabbing your wrist.
You looked back and saw his face completely red, catching you by surprise.
"...I apologize for my sour attitude," he coughed, fixing his glasses, "That is not how you should treat a lady... Even if it's you,"
"Pfft," you quickly held in your mouth and stomach, but your laugh overpowered you.
Louis stared at you in shock as your laugh echoed through the hall, catching everyone's attention.
"Miss Holmes..." Louis warned, calming you down.
"Sorry... I... I wasn't expecting an apology..." you snickered, using your fan to hide your face.
Louis sighed as he waited for you to calm down, letting you fix yourself.
"I knew it," you chuckled, looking up at Louis, "I'm truly glad I met you. Louis James Moriarty," you confessed, smiling at him.
Louis' eyes widened as he stepped back, caught off guard by your genuine smile.
"...How cunning..." Louis muttered under his breath, looking away as he fixed his glasses.
"What?"
"I said that makes one of us,"
#yuukoku no moriarty x reader#moriarty the patriot x reader#valentines#louis james moriarty#louis moriarty x reader#louis moriarty#jq valentines event
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How and why Lily is a bad fan and an even worse critic
I want to get this rant thing over and done with as it's not about Lily Orchard being an actual depolorable person, just more rants about her bad takes and bad criticisms;
In case you didn't know, Poppy and Zena of TransGirlTherapy have interviewed Lily's sibling Courtney and a few other victims; I saw someone in their chat for the stream of it try and post about Lily's infamous writing tips and I just really REALLY want to put a big divider up right now between mine and other people's comparatively lowstakes beef w her and these very serious allegations. I'd be horrified by them even if they were of a creator I loved; these are not funny and ranting ontop of Lily's rants should be a few steps down from the really important stuff that needs to be addressed w her. So with all that being said:
I think her outdated "SU is Garbage and here’s Why" video is a great encapsulation of everything wrong with Lily Orchard’s critical theory, attitude, and brand.
The whole video lacks a real thesis statement for an essaybreakdown. It feels really just like a woman having a giant fan rant at a show she used to like but now doesn’t-- because, that is what it is. BUT, that isn’t easy to listen to. Lefttuber or not, other essayist/watchalongs/media analysis-channels who talk about a thing for five hours will at least try and make their feelings actually collected. Hbomberguy’s Sherlock vid, YMS’s Kimbaspiracy debacle, Lindsay Ellis’ Hobbit three parter; all these vids are glorified fan rants extended to hours long and flowered with essay reasoning and research. They work because they're self-aware that they're taking the thing they are looking at too seriously but are committing anyway and preferably having some kind of fun or skill doing so, which is why I love to watch these kinds of videos. Lily Orchard’s thoughts all feel way too sporadic and focused on being spicy rather than coming together, and that hurts her point because it makes even her most serious call out against SU feel petty.
She gets stuff wrong. Concrete was designed by black artist Lamar Abrams, not Rebecca Sugar who is white. Ftr I’m not pointing that out as some kind of “got you/can’t complain/Sugar never did anything wrong”-clap back; It’s just a fact. AND a missed oppertunity on Lily's part bcuz she could have pointed out how, even if Concrete wasn’t designed by Sugar, it was her in control of the artbook+ Rebecca’s drawn questionable depictions of black people before w she herself is not black and doesn’t get a ‘my friend is-’ clearance just because, and finally just the fact that +the white SU fandom dismissing this problem because they don’t want to be critical about their show.
That Lily doesn’t go into this counter-counter argument whatsoever tells me Lily’s true intentions: and that’s not to point out potential racism in the show, but to dunk on Sugar even more. Lily’s entire point about Concrete, as well as her handling of the poorly handled subjects in the show like the Human Zoo, which other critics, fans and critical fans have done a much better job at breaking down, all of it feels less like a beatdown of how problematic something is but her trying to spin Sugar into the worst fucking person because she wants to hate her. Nowhere is that more clear than in her now infamous ending shade abt Sugar being a fascist.
No, Lily did not literally call Sugar an actual Nazi. Her exact words on screen were a joking “do I think she is one, nah; would I think she is one w/o context? Yeah”.
In an alt timeline I wouldn’t think anything of this take. I get that Lily was trying to hyperbolic and relishing in her self aware pettiness -kinda like how Hbomber is with his over-the-top hatred of Steven Moffat- The issue is we don’t live in an alt timeline. Lily didn’t see how people were taking her too seriously and/or acting like Sugar was a nezi on her behalf +care that her edgy joke at the end of her rant could do some real damage, or even care that it just didn’t look good on her. She didn’t reupload the vid with a disclaimer tacked on, she didn’t tack on a pinned comment; she didn't write down a longer video disc to explain herself.
Instead she threw everyone who might have gotten perturbed by this comment under the bus, said it was all our own faults, and made it very clear she was not going to apologize for it.
Do u dislike ppl treating Sugar like she’s a Nazi and want to discourage that behavior, even in small ways? Fuck you. You’re a stan cuz Lily said so.
Are you Jewish and maybe think implying those exact words are uncalled for? Eat shit! Lily knows better than you and can talk about your life and issues better than you can because other gentiles who aren’t her have failed to do so….which means she’s actually speaking truth????
Lily Orchard could never eat a slice of humble pie and admit that she made a mistake because the only people who’ve ever criticized her and gotten real attention for it are part of the problem (i.e. 4chan, ED). Vaush type commentary bros who keep fucking misgendering her and taking more issue w her leftism that her authoritarianism.
'If obviously she has nothing to apologize for and she is totally over the accusations or her making accusations…which is why she keeps alluding to SU being fascist as a “joke”. The 'joke is on Sugar and all the people who could possibly be offended by Lily’s coining of what’s fascist so…it’s not really a self aware joke at all. She’s still going “harr harr, it’s YOUR fault that you read my comment that way and also who cares it’s not serious. RSugar is tumblr famous which means she’s a millionaire and can’t face harassment.” Tl;dr : Lily got flaq for going too far with a point and rather than just apologizing like a grown up, doubled down.
The reason Natalie (who doesn’t even cover media why is Lily so invested in Contrapoints???wv) and Lindsay will always be better yts than Lily is because they at least try to take some ownership of what they say. Does that always excuse them? No. Are they maybe still a little too apologetic of those on their side? Maybe. But all that is leagues above what Lily doesn't even attempt to do.
Fandoms, people, creators, ships and characters are punching bags to Lily Orchard. She can’t just dislike Rebecca Sugar because for the valid reasons ppl have w Sugar, which there are a LOT of- Lily has to make Sugar, and anyone who doesn’t find her joke at Sugar’s expense, into the worst possible thing.
Lily can not make a joke or a real criticism to save her life. She is only venom and she has to double down on her points until they have no meaning. Lily Orchard’s activism and analysis aren’t about the things she says she’s fighting against; they’re about her and how everyone who dislikes her is the same kind of awful person and deserving of scorn for disagreeing with her. Lily’s the kind of person who abuses selfcare that good people get from watching Monica Lewinski’s Tedtalk, and basically came out the other end with an “I’m right and shouldn’t apologize for anything EVER”.
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Can I ask you a Ship ask game?Albert/Louis; Sherlock/John; Bond/ Miss Hundson
I have another ask for Bond/Miss Hudson so I'll answer the first two here and tag you in the one where I answer that one!
I'm going to go with Don't Ship It for both Albert/Louis and Sherlock/John, but like most pairings in this series, it's a very loose No. To bring back an old fandom term, my only personal NOtps in this series are the bio sibling pairs. So like, I probably could enjoy either of these ships if someone tempted me with a really good fic, they just don't call to me particularly.
Don’t Ship It - Albert/Louis
Why don’t you ship it?
They don't interact all that much really, and even if they did I think their connection would lack a lot of what makes a ship interesting to me. Sherliam and Mycal are fun for the whole cat-and-mouse dance of manipulation and scheming, and in Sherliam's case particularly, for their playful delight in each other. Albert/William intrigues me with its angst potential: the pseudo-religious pedestal Al puts Will on, their mutual desire to die, the way it's like...they hate what they've made of each other while also loving each other. I don't think Albert/Louis would necessarily have any of that. Louis is the most practical and grounded and the least suicidal of the three, so I guess it's just...not dramatic enough for me? 😅 Again, that could be flavoured by how hard a time I have shipping Louis with anyone. I'm not saying he's boring: I adore Louis. In fact, maybe what I'm really saying is that he's interesting enough on his own: he doesn't need to be paired off in my mind.
What would have made you like it?
Louis being a little crazier maybe? He gets kinda scary with the knives, but I always feel like he's ultimately very much in control of himself (with the possible exception of around Sherlock, which is probably why that ship has managed to win me over). It's like I want my ships to either be Really Sweet Actually...OR Horrifyingly Destructive *cough*Hannigram*cough* and I think shipping between any combination of the Moriarthree almost automatically needs to lean towards the latter, so I'm gonna need them to be hella unstable in order to ship them. 😅
Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?
I mean, maybe Louis could be really good for Albert. A voice of reason and caution and hope. But he can be all those things as his brother too, and in this particular case I think that's the way I prefer it.
Don’t Ship It - Sherlock/John
Why don’t you ship it?
Weirdly, I've just...never really shipped Johnlock? Admittedly I haven't consumed a lot of adaptations, but...I didn't get super into it in the books, I could never really figure out why people shipped it in BBC Sherlock *collective horrified gasp, sounds of torches being lit and pitchforks being lifted in the distance* and the other adaptations I've seen now and again never really won me over to it either. The only notable exception is the RDJ/Jude Law versions. Those two had CHEMISTRY. *dreamy sigh* Anyway, I guess I'm usually a fan of Johnlock as either the best of besties or like...queerplatonic life partners? Which I guess is a form of shipping too!
What would have made you like it?
John being less straight? LOL no shade whatsoever to anyone else's interpretation of the character, but I just don't really headcanon this version as being anything but straight.
Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?
Their friendship is wonderful. John is such a good influence on Sherlock, and contributes in so many beautiful ways to his character development. They are necessary in each other's lives. They have a deep and powerful love, and I think I sometimes don't appreciate it enough. I personally see it as a platonic love, but all of those things are certainly also a good foundation for a ship.
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Old Money
In which Sherlock tells you something you’ve wanted to hear for a long time. Or, the one where reader reads auras and as always with Sherlock, things are never as they seem. Thanks for reading!
Sherlock Holmes/Reader
Cursing under your breath at the weather, you pushed the door to 221b open and found solace in the warmth of the building. You didn’t think you’d ever get use to the dreary London winters. Today had been terribly long and as much as you wanted to be in your bed watching Iron Man with last night’s reheated takeaway, Sherlock had texted you saying he needed your help with some experiment and John just wasn’t capable of helping him. You almost said no but the thought of passing up time with Sherlock was unbearable, even if you were just a guinea pig for him to test on. ‘Yeah”, you thought to yourself, ‘I’m down bad’. Doing your best to shake off the snow and fatigue, you made your way to the stairs but stopped at the bottom when you heard a soft melody coming from the second floor. Tilting your head to the side, you furrowed your brows and tried to hone in on the sound. It didn’t sound like a violin so it couldn’t be Sherlock playing. It wasn’t often that he cared to listen to music besides his own so it must be part of his experiment, you thought. You carried on, moments later finding yourself in the doorway when you noticed it.
It was like you were seeing the world through rose colored glasses. Everything was cast in a soft pink glow that made it all seem so delicate and precious that you knew you had to commit this feeling to memory in the chance that nothing in your life brought this shade to you again. Sherlock stood with his back towards you, arms taut behind his back with his hands folded neatly. He gazed out at the busy London street beneath his home and seemed lost in a trance of his own. Music was playing from his laptop and it really brought everything together. You wondered what he would say if he could see it, if he could see how he made the world look for you. You wondered what he must’ve been feeling to project it as beautifully as this. Dragging your eyes away from the skull on the mantle that was illuminated by the pink in a way that almost seemed romantic, you looked back at the man of your every hour.
He was absolutely perfect and that was something you had never been more sure of. You let yourself lean against the door frame to admire him completely. You knew you didn’t look at your other friends like that and while that should have scared you, it didn’t. You loved Sherlock for what he was, everything he was, and if he never returned any affection for you— you would still love him the same. You had the time of your life fighting dragons with him and you could only hope you expressed that to him in a way he could understand. The corner of Sherlock’s lips twitched as he spoke, bringing you back to him. It seemed that was something you did for each other often. “You’re staring, you know. If you stared any harder I’m afraid I’d feel it in my chest.” He was still looking out the window and you hadn’t been sure prior if he knew you were there at all. If it was anyone else, they would have missed the humor in his words. Luckily for you, you could hear him smiling. You were sure it was as lovely as it sounded.
“I’m sorry.” You weren’t. “What did you need help with?”
Sherlock finally turned to face you, fingers playing with the cuffs of his sleeve as he made to roll them up. He walked towards the kitchen and you followed, shrugging your coat off onto the back of John’s chair. “I need to ask you something. And you must be honest with me or it will be for naught.” He leaned against the dining table, one handing holding his elbow up and the other brought up to his lips. He was studying you in the way he thought was less obvious than pyramiding his fingers but you were well aware of the detective’s tells.
You moved to lean against the counter across from him. The tips of your shoes were almost touching. “Okay, shoot.”
Shifting under the weight of his suddenly intense stare, you followed as his eyes moved from your head down as if you were wearing the answer he was looking for. While he was searching, you had happened to notice that the pink that seemed to envelop everything in his flat wasn’t touching him. Hell, your white scrub top looked like it had gotten mixed in with the reds in the wash. But there Sherlock was, unaffected by the light he was supposedly giving off. How strange, you thought.
Before you could fully register what was happening, Sherlock had stepped into your space and left you pinned between him and the kitchen counter. He was still looking at you like that and you could feel blush rise up your neck and onto your cheeks. That seemed to have caught his eye as he brushed a lock of hair behind your ear to get a better view.
“Why is it that whenever I call for you... you never deny me?” Eyes still fixated on your cheek, he brought a hand up and brushed the back of his fingers along your jaw. His other arm still rested on the countertop next to you and his legs on either side of yours.
Your eyes widened at his question. You had no way of explaining why in a way that would both satisfy him and protect you. You stayed silent as he tilted your jaw back with his knuckles and moved to cup your cheek with his palm. He moved to do the same on the other side, taking his time as if the act itself was sacred. His lips parted into a silent ‘oh’ as if he was drinking in your movement and analyzing your every reaction.
“Sherlock,” you croaked, not sure if it came out as whine, plea, or prayer. It was all too much- his hands on your face holding you close to him, your knees knocking together, and if you moved just a little closer you were sure your noses would touch. “Y/N, why?” He urged. He was going to have your answer whether you thought you were capable of giving it to him or not. The air was so thick you thought you were going to choke. “Why do you always come when I call?” His breath was fanning your lips and you had to swallow the involuntary moan that nearly slipped out. You brought your hands to his wrists and held onto him, initially to feel him but you ended up using him to hold yourself steady. “I love you.” You murmured, eyes closed. You couldn’t see his reaction. You squeezed his wrists as you spoke and hoped he understood your silent apology. You were going to ruin your friendship and you were so sorry. “I always come when you call for me because I love you. I love you so much it hurts my head.” Like a faucet, the words slipped through your mouth and dug you deeper and deeper into a hole you never wanted to be in. You closed your eyes tighter than before and tried to keep the oncoming tears at bay. “I love you in the morning when we’ve been at Bart’s all night looking into microscopes and even when my eyes are sore and I’m exhausted, I see you and I know I love you. I love you when I’m scared because you’re chasing some criminal down the streets of London and you have no idea if they have a GUN and I love you even more when come back to me and tell me that ‘I’m stupid for worrying’ because you always outsmart them. I love you when you let me make you tea, or you ask me to cook for you, because I love taking care of you-“ Before you really made him uncomfortable, you forced yourself to stop. Taking in a deep breath and moving your head up to look at him once more, you searched his face for some sort of response. You bared your heart out and you only hoped that he’d still allow you to be friends even after knowing how you truly felt about him. Moments had passed and you still stood there, with his hands still on your cheeks and his eyes roaming your face for something that he still hadn’t found. You needed him to say something. To let you apologize, to tell you that it could be forgotten, that you didn’t ruin everything. “Sherlock?” You whispered, hoping to bring him back to you. “Please say something. Anything.” Your heart was racing and the tears had stopped but you knew it wouldn’t take much for them to start again. You didn’t mean to ruin this. Sherlock blinked and it almost looked like he had returned to his body after being somewhere far away. His hands never left you as he moved them from your cheeks to lock them in your hair. He lips ghosted your cheek as the moved towards your ear and just as he opened his mouth to finally respond- BZZZZZZT. BZZZZZT. BZZZZZT. You pulled back from him in confusion, trying to make sense of what just happened. He was staring at you so intensely you thought he was looking straight into your soul. “What did you just say?” He opened his mouth again and started to speak but all that came out was-
BZZZZZZT. BZZZZZZZT. BZZZZZT.
Your eyes shot open and you pushed yourself up as you looked around your dark apartment trying to make sense of what just happened. There was no glow, you weren’t on Baker street, you weren’t with Sherlock, and you hadn’t ruined everything. Your breathing was labored and you had felt so much emotional whiplash from that dream that you thought about checking to see if this one was a dream, too. You looked to your nightstand where your phone had been vibrating non-stop and went to reach for it.
“You weren’t answering my texts.” Before you could even say hello, Sherlock’s voice rang without missing a beat. You pulled your phone back to check the time. “Sherlock, it’s 3:18 in the morning. I was sleeping.” Your voice was still ladened with sleep and you weren’t even sure that you trusted yourself to speak with the real detective since it didn’t go so well with the dream one.
“Nevermind that. I need you to meet me at Bart’s. There’s been a murder and Molly can get us a look at the body before she does her paperwork if we get there now.” Sherlock sounded like he had been wide awake, and you could faintly hear him shrugging on his jacket in the background.
You thought about your dream and how you had been so afraid that you had lost everything by confessing. You were ready to beg for it to be forgotten and thrown under the bridge so that you would never have to go a day missing these calls. In Sherlock’s own way, he was telling you how much he needed you. The more you thought about it, he could have easily called John who was a floor above him or even Lestrade, who could have cut a lot of corners in getting him the information and access he needed for the case. But he called you. You glanced at the clock. You had work at 8:00, but if you and Sherlock got there by 4:30 you would more than likely be out by 7:00 and you could grab coffee with Sherlock as he walked you to your shift.
“Well?” He insisted. You could tell he was growing impatient, but you swore he had sounded hopeful and whether that was the sleep deprivation talking or the love sickness, you had decided right then. Who were you to keep the brilliant Sherlock Holmes waiting?
“I’m on my way.” Click.
#bbc sherlock fanfiction#bbc sherlock imagine#bbc sherlock x reader#sherlock x reader#sherlock holmes x reader#sherlock x you#sherlock imagine#sherlock holmes imagine#sherlock holmes fanfiction#reader insert#sherlock holmes#benedict cumberbatch#john watson#bbc sherlock#sherlock#fanfic#writing#luxwrites
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Makeup
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1300
Warnings: This is what you get when Rae takes a Gender and Women’s Studies class. Fuck gender roles. Fuck the patriarchy.
Summary: Bucky tries something new.
A/N: I’ve got the writing bug right now, guys, can you tell? Or I was abducted by aliens and they have replaced me with an alien that likes to write about giant men with metal arms who like glitter.
I wrote this because I wanted to. That’s about it. It may be the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written, but I like it, and I hope you guys like it too.
Thanks for all the love, I can’t even begin to tell you how much all of you mean to me. (And a shoutout to a secret friend of mine who read this for me and gave me her feedback - you know who you are, and I hope you know I love you to the moon and back.)
***
“Bucky?”
“Baby?”
“What are you watching?”
He looks up at you, watching your face carefully. And when he sees nothing but a smile, your expression swathed in the golden light of the evening, he grins back. Tucks himself further into the blanket he stole from the bed, reaches out to grip your fingers. Tug you down next to him onto the couch, and press himself to your side.
Your eyes study the screen for a moment before you look back at him. Tucking some hair behind his ear, you ask, nothing but honest curiosity, “Is that a makeup tutorial?”
It makes his chest tighten a little anyway, something unpleasant and cold curling under his skin. He tips his eyes back toward the video playing on his phone, ducks his head a little. “Uh, yeah.”
“That’s fun,” you say, kissing at the side of his face. And a little weight comes off of his shoulders. “Who are you watching?”
“Nyma Tang,” he tells you. “The rest are horribly problematic.”
Laughter spills from your mouth, and the sound feels like more sunlight filling the room, settling in his heart. His lips tip into a wide smile, his arm curling around your back, pulling you closer.
“I’m so glad you found a beauty guru you can trust, honey.”
“Me, too.” His eyes flick back to the screen, where the video is almost over, and the most beautiful shade of emerald green is settled over her eyes. “She’s pretty. And she’s real good at makeup.”
“You think you would ever want to try?”
Bucky startles a little bit - pushes back to look at you, a little confusion pulling at his chest. “Try?”
“Yeah,” you murmur, “you know, get your own stuff, try doing makeup on yourself?”
And he. Well, he’s not sure what to say. Because it’s been in the back of his mind since he discovered these videos - on a late night with little sleep and dreams of cold metal and even colder voices - and the brightness, the colors, brought him back home. Made him think of those brushes Steve had used to paint, how much joy it brought him to make something beautiful.
But he remembers. He remembers how different things were. How those men’s lips were stained red, but not with lipstick.
He hopes things aren’t still like that now.
“Uh. I’ve never thought of it.” The words burn at the back of his throat.
“Well,” you start, pushing your head into his shoulder, settling an arm over his stomach, fingers curling at his side, “I think it would look good on you, if you ever did want to try.”
Steel eyes stay fixed on the screen in front of him, but he lets himself press a kiss to your hair. Squeeze the arm around you a little tighter, holding you close and warm.
***
Bucky comes to bed late that night - he can just see the clock over the curve of your body reading far too close to 3 am. But he slips in carefully behind you anyway, tucking his arm around you and pressing close. Feels you stir a little before your body settles heavy into the mattress again.
“Buck?”
“Hey, darling,” he whispers. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
You hum, just enough for him to hear it. Push your back closer to his chest. Feel around for his hand, and pull it up to your face, press his palm to your skin. “I can hear you thinking.”
“What?”
“I can hear you thinking,” you repeat, voice tired and low. He sighs, kisses at your ear. “What’s on your mind, Buck?”
He goes quiet and still. The silence rings through the room, and he can feel his heart racing. But he tucks his nose into your neck anyway, voice muffled into your skin, “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“When you. When - uh. When you said I could try. Try makeup. If I wanted?”
“Bucky,” you start.
“I know it’s not. I know men don’t usually wear it.” He’s a little frantic now, eyes shut tight as you turn to face him. “I just think it looks pretty and I - I’ve never done something like that before and I know -”
“Bucky,” you say, fingers tracing his jaw. He keeps his eyes closed, only feels you push closer before your mouth presses to his cheek. “You don’t need my permission. Of course you can try it, if you want.”
He sucks in a sharp breath, ducks his head into the pillows. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, honey,” you tell him, kissing him again - this time soft and sweet on the mouth. When you pull back, he can just make out the smile on your face, how fond your eyes are as you look at him in the dark. “Anyone can do it. We can pick out some things you might like tomorrow.”
There is lightness in his chest now, something too tender for words. He loves you. He loves you like he’s never loved anything in his life. So he tells you as much, pressing your body underneath his, swallowing your breath and feeling you all around him. And there is nothing like feeling you whisper the sentiment back, gentle warmth breathed into his skin.
***
“How’s it going over there, honey?”
Steel eyes shift away from the mirror to where you sit, back to him. He draws in a long breath, the tiniest smile curling at his lips as he looks back to the products on the table, all placed neatly. Flesh fingers reach out, feeling the cool plastic.
“Okay, I think,” he tells the back of your head. “There’s a lot of stuff here.”
“Well, you’re the one who needed eight different highlighters, Buck.”
“You need to have options, baby,” he huffs at you. And the sound of your laughter makes him grin from ear to ear. Take a few last looks in the mirror, sweep a little more color over his cheeks.
He settles back in his chair. Breathes in, then out. Careful and slow, watching his reflection. His voice is a little weak when he says, “Okay, I think I’m done.”
Footsteps pad over his way, but he doesn’t turn. Only waits until he can feel your arms around him, lips at the shell of his ear. Face shining in the glass next to his. Your eyes are wide, and there is something so fond in your expression.
“Buck,” you say, squeezing him a little, “it looks great.”
He turns back toward you, his nose brushing against your cheek. “Really?”
“Really,” you tell him. “Can’t believe that’s the first time you’ve ever done makeup. It looks so good on you.”
Bucky lets himself take another look. Lets his gaze trace over the way gold shines over his eyes, how his lashes fan out, dark and full. The shimmer on each of his cheekbones is catching the light, shining the most beautiful light rose.
He has seen himself through ice and storm and frost. Young and bright and then so much older, weary down to his bones. But he has never seen himself like this - so brilliant and soft. Glowing beyond the scars over his skin and soul.
There is a picture on the mantle, a beaming portrait of himself from years long since past. That doesn’t hold a candle to this. Doesn’t come near the way he feels as he looks at himself now. Beautiful. All himself, but somehow made new.
Your lips press sweet to the blush on his cheeks just before you sit down on his lap, holding him tight. And he holds you back, pushing his face into your neck, and smiling wide against your skin as he hears you say, reverent and gentle, “You’re so beautiful.”
***
Faint buzzing reaches his ears hours later, as he lays still and quiet with you on the couch. Metal fingers reach for the phone on the armrest, pulling the screen close enough to see.
Eyes just make out the new alert, a text from an all too familiar name.
I always knew gold was your color.
Another, quick as the first.
You look good, Buck.
Bucky lets his eyes close, and tips his head against your shoulder. Feels your grin against his hair. Takes your hand between his, raises it to his heart - holding in every ounce of warmth curling under his skin.
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The Critique of Manners, Part II
~Or~
A Candid Review of ITV's Emma (1997)
Disclaimer: I do know that both this and the Miramax version were released in 1996, but to avoid confusion, I refer to this one as the “1997 Emma” in reference to the US release date.
The bones of this review were written some six years ago after my initial viewing. I’ve watched it three or four times since then, two very recently (Within the past year). I’d started to soften on it in the most recent watch. So many people love it so much I thought surely maybe I’m just crazy or even wrong; until I found this blog post from 2008 (a year before my favorite version was released) that hit on almost EVERY SINGLE thing that skeeved me out about this version when I first watched it.
Like my previous review of Emma. (2020), I’ll be covering the cast and overall handling of the script in comparison with what I know from reading the book. I will also be commenting on my thoughts about the costumes (Whether they are attractive or accurate, or both, or neither) which will be a bit more in depth than it was for the 2020 version, and this will set a pattern for the costumes section going forward.
Directed by Diarmuid Lawrence with screenwriting by Andrew Davies (Or should I say “Written by Andrew Davies with direction by Diarmuid Lawrence”?), this version was a fan-favorite among Janeites for many years for … well, reasons I’ve never been entirely certain of. I’ve read the book twice through and referenced pertinent passages MANY times besides, and really I don’t see what they’re raving about.
Let’s dive in.
Cast & Characterization
I’d known about this adaptation for a while, but I held off on watching it, largely for one reason: my apprehension about Mark Strong playing Mr. Knightley.
I was concerned because when I watched this I had already seen Mark Strong as Sir John Conroy in The Young Victoria and as Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes, both very unpleasant characters. But there have been several occasions when I expressed displeasure with casting choices only to eat my words when I actually watched the movie. So I entered into watching this with an optimistic outlook, sure that Mark and Kate would surprise me with brilliant performances. And I would like to say that they did, but that would be an untruth.
My biggest fear about Mark Strong playing Mr. Knightley was that his rebuking of Emma was going to be a watered down version of ‘RAAAWWWRRR’ that I was familiar with, specifically because of The Young Victoria. It’s very hard for me to see Mark Strong point his finger in Emily Blunt’s face and shout at her, and then watch him do the same thing with Kate Beckinsale (only somewhat less aggressively) and expect to feel all warm and fuzzy about their romance. I expected that to be a tall order. And it was. Whenever he raises his voice, the right side of his face pulls up into a snarl. Now since it does this no matter what role he’s playing I’m guessing that’s just how his face is. It’s not his fault really and it’s almost certainly unintentional, but I’ve seen that snarl before and it does NOT belong on Mr. Knightley’s face.
Don’t ever think I don’t LOVE Kate Beckinsale, and I don’t necessarily think that my problems with this interpretation of Emma are her fault; these things very rarely fall on the shoulders of the actual actors, but those of the screenwriters and directors who guide them. However – and I am aware that this might sound a bit harsh – I would say that at points, Kate Beckinsale’s performance in this movie (In my opinion) barely outstrips community theatre or even very good high school drama club level acting. It seems to me that there’s burden on her here to sound historical or period. This lends to this interpretation of Emma feeling at once both cold and childish (more on that later.)
Her best moments are when she runs into Jane as Jane is leaving Donwell and when she speaks with Robert Martin at the end of the film. I always like scenes where Emma tacitly apologizes to Mr. Martin, and her feeling when she invites him to Donwell is Kate’s finest moment in this movie.
I found Raymond Coulthard’s Frank Churchill insignificant at first, but on repeat viewings I really started to hate him. I don’t think Austen intended Frank’s caddishness (to use more modern vernacular I’d say he’s an utter “Douche”) to be quite this obvious on first glance. He’s a creep in this version and Raymond Coulthard is just not at all attractive to me, from his big nose to his little shark teeth.
Olivia Williams was a good, even great, Jane Fairfax, and in my opinion does a much better job of portraying Jane’s vexation than, say, Polly Walker did (more on that next time), while still quietly looking like she’d like to arm-bar Frank rather than take his vulgar teasing lying down.
She also has the distinction of being the only Jane Fairfax who’s singing REALLY blows Emma’s out of the water, and I like that all of the songs she sings are in languages other than English (primarily Italian I think?). This achieves the double whammy of showing how much more accomplished she is than Emma by emphasizing that not only does Jane sing and play better, but she knows languages too.
Samantha Morton is a superb actress whom I love and I was sort of appalled at how she looks in this movie. Is she dying of a wasting illness? She looks like a gust of wind will carry her away, although since she looked the same in the 1997 Jane Eyre (In which she played the title role under similarly appalling direction) perhaps that was just her look that year?
Dominic Rowan, as Mr. Elton, is… there’s a perfect word to describe it and I just can’t think of it right now. Like every other young man in this movie (other than Robert Martin) he’s got this feeling of skeeviness to me but it’s more than that. It’s a dweebie-ness as well. This is so dissatisfactory to me because Mr. Elton is supposed to have every appearance of charm and agreeableness, with his only obvious fault being his over-eagerness to ingratiate himself to Emma and some rather vulgar locker-room type talk about marrying for fortune. He’s just so… (I’ve hit upon it now after some discussion with my sister) dingy. He looks less like a “very handsome young man” who “knows the value of a good income” and more like the kind of guy that scrubs up okay, but still you can tell from the rumple of his clothes and the pizzaroni odor wafting from him that he lives in his mom’s basement.
The shining star for me in this production was Alistair Petrie as Robert Martin. I love him as an actor and especially after watching him in Cranford, I think he was an excellent choice for Harriet’s Mr. Martin.
Davies wrote the character to be a little more romantic (Actually buying Anne Radcliffe’s The Romance of the Forest, where originally Mr. Martin was supposed to forget to – something Emma uses as a mark against him to prove how he will age into an “gross vulgar old farmer” who is “obsessed with profit and loss”.)
I especially like an inserted scene where Mr. Martin, working in his field, sees a distressed Jane Fairfax from afar as she is walking home (I think from Donwell). I thought it drew an interesting parallel between two emotionally wronged characters that otherwise would have no interaction.
What’s with Mrs. Elton (Lucy Robinson)? I don’t think nearly enough people question this. I’ve seen it explained away as her being from Bristol and trying to make herself sound more hoity-toity to hide the fact that she’s New Money. I’m not positive on what a Bristol accent sounds like (For that is where Augusta Hawkins is from) but… this sounds like an American trying to sound posh. At some points she almost sounds Texan. It’s all very confusing, because the actress is British.
Prunella Scales lists among her achievements being an outstanding actress and comedienne, as well as bringing into the world Samuel West, one of my all time favourite British screen crushes. She's probably best known for her work on Fawlty Towers, so its interesting to see her range as much less inscrutable Miss Bates. Her performance is by the book, but so much more engaging than Constance Chapman's 1972 offering, although i find her perhaps a shade too placid. She lacks a certain nervousness that I associate with the character (for more information, see my previous review.)
As for Bernard Hepton as Mr. Woodhouse, I can only say I. Didn’t. Like. Him. I have every consciousness of this being a personal bias. I have seen him play too many insufferable characters in too many things to like him as Emma’s lovable if tiresome father. This isn’t a knock on him or his performance; his reaction to Mrs. Elton is some great subtle visual comedy, this is just a me thing.
Another one of the better characterizations, though a relatively small role, is John Knightley. Played by Guy Henry, he is shown to be a good father, and an “Gentleman-like man”, with just the right blend of good humor and caustic comments.
Sets & Surroundings
I’d never paid MUCH attention to or questioned the houses and interiors used for estates in Austen adaptations until the 2020 version of Emma used such ridiculously lavish houses for relatively provincial gentry it forced me to sit up and pay attention. I think the houses used in this version are mostly suitable.
The part of Donwell Abbey’s exterior is played by Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire. The Key words for Donwell from the text are “rambling and irregular” and while perhaps not as big as the Former Claremont House (Which, it is believed, was Austen’s inspiration for Donwell Abbey) it definitely is a suitable architectural style and situation and furthermore, having been purchased in the 19th century by a glove manufacturer and having been up to that point left in a little bit of a state of disrepair, fits the “neglect of prospect” Austen describes as well. Its interiors are a cobble-work of the Great Hall at Broughton Castle (Oxfordshire), various rooms at Stanway House (Gloucestershire), and the Strawberry beds at Thame Park (Oxfordshire)
(Top, left – Sudeley Castle; Bottom left – Trafalgar Park; Right – Dorney Court)
Trafalgar Park in Wiltshire and its interiors (a minty sage-green drawing-room fitting in perfectly with the mint-chocolate – primarily chocolate – color palette of the production) played the role of the Woodhouse’s home, Hartfield. A typical Georgian style house in red brick, I believe is consistent with Austen’s description of a “well built, modern house”.
Dorney Court in Buckinghamshire was used for Randalls, Mr. Weston’s recently purchased estate. It’s a Tudor style red brick house and it looks pretty on the mark from the front facade, but I think it’s still too big for a “small estate” with only two guest rooms (Although there’s no panic about the snow in this version – perhaps because it’s already snowing when they set out.)
My biggest problem is the lighting of this movie. I understand natural lighting and I LOVE it when you can even it out – but it is so dark in the evening scenes that it adds to the colorlessness of an already colorless production.
Fashion
Oh Jenny Beavan. You are a well-respected costume designer with good reason. However, I know that most of these costumes are rentals, but why is every-fucking-thing in this movie a shade of brown, beige or green?
As you can see, a rich tapestry of brown and beige. And this isn’t selective. this is (just about) every day-wear outfit in the movie (barring repeats and a few exceptions that I’ll give mention to below.)
Emma’s outerwear is brought to you by Hershey’s Chocolate. Also I’m not certain but I think that her light brown redingote is the same one as Elinor’s in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility? If anyone can confirm, drop it in the comments.
Perhaps the evening wear will be more colorful?
Barely – Mrs. Weston in a brownish orange; Mrs. John Knightley in an orange-ish brown; Emma gets a dark blue? Or is that just the wintery glow from the window on a dark green velvet? Green (either so dark it’s almost black, or washed-out mint) appears to be the only color Emma is allowed to wear other than brown or ivory/white. Even her gown for the Crown Inn Ball (upper right) is an underwhelming and rather dingy ivory. The champagne number she wears for Christmas at Randalls is not only lack-lustre, but also sports what I’m now calling a “Bridgerton Bust” (where the Empire waist comes up too high, with the seam apparently resting across her bust rather than under it.)
The pink frock (seen properly only from the back) on Mrs. Weston is as close to real color as a main character gets in this production, and can be recognized as one of Jane Bennet’s dresses from the previous year’s Pride and Prejudice.
Even Jane Fairfax doesn’t get a break. Rather than putting her in Jane Fairfax Blue ™ (honestly, Jane Fairfax being costumed in blue is so consistent at this point Crayola should just name a crayon in her honor - this is gonna come back in future reviews) she gets a black-green evening number with no trim at all, and a succession of what the Ladies over at Frock Flicks like to call the “Dumpy Regency Little White Dress”, or drab gray-blues.
Some of the background dancers in the Crown Inn Ball scene get to wear pink! Why not put Harriet in a nice pink frock for this scene?! Why is this so difficult?!
Strawberry picking at Donwell is the only time main characters are consistently wearing identifiable colors that aren’t brown or green: Mrs. Weston in pink, Miss Bates in (oddly the most colorful dress of them all) a nice refreshing lavender blue; Jane gets grey/blue and Mrs. Elton, a pastel mint. Harriet is also given a little break in Mrs. Elton’s introduction scene in a (very) pastel blue frock, while Emma sports white (with a trademark green shawl.)
So how about the...
Similarly dull. I almost screamed for joy when I saw that Frank’s jacket was actually blue, and a vibrant blue at that. (The red is too close to brown, I’m sorry.)
So yes, in short the costumes, while perfectly technically accurate (I didn’t get a lot of caps of them but the trousers sufficiently tight, not that I care to look), are drab as a peahen.
As always I’ll outsource any dancing critique by linking Tea With Cassiane on YouTube, since I find her insights on the approach to dancing in Austen adaptations just fascinating and I would like to share such witty and informed reviews.
The Andrew Davies of it All…
*Strong Opinions Ahead*
There are so many reasons why this adaptation isn’t for me. First of all the very idea of making Emma, one of Austen’s most socially complex works (certainly her most vivid) into a sparse 107 minutes is baffling to me. Perhaps I can understand if it’s a Theatrical release but this is a TV production. Why not at least make it a two part special?
And besides the issue that, in order to make this fit the time frame, the story is severely truncated, there’s… the Andrew Davies of it all.
I have some issues with Andrew Davies’ screenwriting for this adaptation particularly. A LOT of issues. Where does one start? I think Knightley is a good place.
It’s not just the casting I don’t like here; but it does say something to me that they chose Mark Strong for this role. It’s a casting decision I discovered with disbelief when I first saw clips from this version in a Period Drama men compilation video on YouTube. I mentioned above that I know Mark Strong as unpleasant characters with man-handling habits. That’s the kind of role Mark Strong is associated with because that’s just what he does well. And I think this played into the casting here, because Davies’ interpretation of Knightley is a bit… fierce. He shouts SO MUCH in this movie and in scenes like the Harriet Smith debacle (where Mr. Knightley of the book even gets a bit angry with Emma) I can understand this, perhaps. But in the book Mr. Knightley takes many pauses to collect and calm himself, because his goal is not to quarrel with Emma but to argue a point. 97 Knightley takes no such pauses and spends the whole scene in what some might call an escalating rage.
Knightley’s cheerful arrival to Hartfield to tell Emma that Robert Martin intended to propose to Harriet is cut out so we start right off with his indignant exclamation of “She refused him?!” and it’s all go from there. To make matters worse, Emma’s own arguments are crippled by Davies’ editing. Many of her more (what might even latterly be considered “feminist”) arguments are cut out. In fact once Knightley gets going, he juggernauts his way through all of his rebukes and speeches from the book, but Emma hardly gets a word in edgewise after arguing that Robert Martin is not Harriet’s equal. What Austen wrote as a heated debate is turned by Davies into a one-sided tirade. (By don’t take my word for it, watch the clip.)
The final cherry on top is having Emma, after Knightley leaves the room with the last word firmly in his grasp, childishly pout “You are wrong Mr. Knightley, and you will see you are wrong and then you will be sorry.” I half expected her to cross her arms and stomp her foot. Worth noting is the fact that Davies adds an additional “It was badly done. Emma,” in this scene where there was none in the book. Rather overkill to my mind. Is this his catchphrase?
At Box Hill, Davies has Knightley begin his climactic rebuke of Emma’s insulting behavior by grabbing her arm and hauling her aside, and concludes by leading her, still holding her arm, to the carriage. Well at least he doesn’t shout at her in this scene; but again, all but one of Emma’s responses are cut out and she stands there, pouting until Mr. Knightley leaves and then she bursts into tears.
When Mr. Knightly proposes to Emma I was feeling good about this scene, until he dropped the “I held you when you were three weeks old” line, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. Maybe you DON’T want mention how you held her when she was a baby after you asked her to MARRY you. But perhaps worse is Emma’s response to the line: “Do you like me as well now as you did then?”
Bringing up holding Emma when she was three weeks old at the proposal (A line which was not in the book) is bad enough but there seems to be a peculiar repeated emphasis on Knightley recalling Emma as a baby. He dragged it up previously when he and Emma make up after the Harriet debacle, as he holds John and Isabella’s baby daughter (whose name, I would mention, is Emma.) In this instance too, the line is a Davies addition.
Let’s talk about Knightley’s strawberry line.
This is delivered in voice-over as a transition to the strawberry picking party at Donwell, and is portrayed as a formal invitation: “Mr. Knightley invites you to taste his strawberries, which are ripening fast.”
At first I was confident that I was reading too much into this (but I think at this point I can safely say that I’m not). I can’t help bursting out laughing every time I hear that line. It was a questionable way to word that if you ask me, especially considering that this is (once again) NOT the line in the book, and it was NOT a formal invitation. It was said to Mrs. Elton and intended to be a joke.
“You had better explore Donwell then,” replied Mr. Knightly “That may be done without horses. Come and eat the strawberries; they’re ripening fast.”
‘ If Mr. Knightly did not begin seriously, he was obliged to proceed so...’
And here I thought Janeites hated adaptations that cut out “Miss Austen’s biting wit.”
To top it all off, we have Frank Churchill (Who I have already pointed out is a bit of a creep in this adaptation and even more detestable than he already was as Austen wrote him) praising Jane: this would be fine, if he wasn’t drooling into Emma’s ear about the turn of Jane’s throat, (He actually utters this line)
and how fine his dead aunt’s jewels will look against her skin. May I just be the first to say “Ehewhegaugh”.
I juxtapose this with the book where Frank's lines are almost exactly as Davies renders them, except Jane Austen never wrote the "have you ever seen such a skin?" Line. The difference i have highlighted in bold:
"... She is a complete angel. Look at her. Is she not an angel in every gesture? Observe the turn of her throat. Observe her eyes as she looks up at my father. --- You will be glad to hear that my uncle intends to give her all my aunt's jewels. They are to be new set. I am resolved to have some in an ornament for the head. Will it not be beautiful in her dark hair?"
Because talking about how pretty your fiancee's hair is, is normal and marginally less creepy than talking about what a fine skin she has or how lovely your (i cannot stress this part enough) dead aunt's jewels will look against it. Davies' script also makes no mention of having them reset, which makes me think he’s talking about the actual necklaces and bracelets Mrs. Churchill would have worn.
But hey, maybe its just a me thing.
Harriet Smith’s story suffers, primarily, I can with some candor admit, due to the time constraints. After Mr. Elton is married, we never see Harriet in any distress. It’s almost as though she’s forgotten all about it! Emma never has to appeal to her to exert herself or to move on. Perhaps this is better than Doran Godwin’s Emma gaslighting Harriet and manipulating her by constantly chastising her for… well general heartbreak (but that’s a bugaboo for a different review.)
My last complaint of note is that ludicrous harvest feast at the end of the movie. The whole concept of this scene just does not seem at all Janely to me. I was under the impression that I was meant to be watching an Austen. Not some bullshit Thomas Hardy knock-off. This is another Davies touch and I hate it more on the principal that it is one of his numerous, obsessive tweaks made solely to point out the existence of the lower classes.
If Davies wanted to show Mr. Knightley’s being an attentive landlord and gentleman farmer then I don’t see why he couldn’t just show Knightley actually running his farm?
“Okay’, you might say, “but I think the highlighting of the servants is to show how good Knightley is by treating them like real people compared to everyone else”, and I hear you. And in the situations where that is the case, like him greeting the Woodhouse’s butler and asking after his family I think that’s totally fine and in character. But things like the servants moving the knee cushions every time someone moves down the line at strawberry picking, to me, is AS ridiculous as the “servants clipping the lawn on their hands and knees with tiny scissors” trope. Like we get it, people took the lower classes for granted, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that it would be easier and more realistic to have Mrs. Elton have to move her own knee cushion. I don’t think Knightley would instruct his servants, who he treats so well, to do that kind of thing, but you could write in Mrs. Elton’s expectation of it if you wanted. It seems like the kind of thing she would expect the landed gentry to do.
Screenwriter for some of the best loved Austen’s (including the sacrosanct 1995 P&P Mini-series and my favorite Sense & Sensibility), I thought of Davies for years as untouchable; until Sanditon happened and left everyone who knows anything about Jane Austen really wondering where this mess came from. I put it to you now that it was there in Davies all along.
Davies admitted, when talking about the drastic “Sexing Up” he did in Sanditon that he felt Austen’s works could have done with a bit more sex appeal. I can hardly disagree and additions like Darcy’s little swim in the pond and Edward Ferrars’ angsty wood-chopping are welcome and beloved. But it seems that what he really wanted all along was what he gave us in Sanditon; and finally, without actual source material to stand in his way, he had a chance let his dirty old man show and gave “Austen” the sexing up he thought it needed.
And it gets more troubling as you look back.
In my opening paragraph to this review I mentioned a 2008 blog post that not only agreed with me that there’s something very off about this screenplay, but gave me some possible insights as to why. It points out numerous things that I have always questioned in this version but have never seen anyone else criticize (though I am informed that more recently it has gained its’ share of critics). In fact the post itself actually points out that almost no one in the Austen Blog-sphere had (at that point) criticized this version’s faults in any meaningful way, but my favorite thing about it is that it points out what you find in Davies’ screenplay if you pay careful attention to it “Rather than sitting there and cataloguing what is “technically faithful and whatnot”.
Many Austen bloggers have kind of been playing Miss Taylor to Davies’ Emma for some two decades and change.
The most troubling thing of all is Davies own comments on Mr. Knightley (and other things, more inferred in his screen play). All of the aspects of this interpretation of Knightley that I mentioned earlier seem to stem from the fact that, as quoted in Sarah Caldwell’s book on his works, Davies thinks there’s “Something odd going on with Knightley.”
Davies clearly reads foul, or at least questionable, intentions in Mr. Knightley but I find it interesting that, rather than cutting out material he may have found troubling about Knightley in the book out of his screenplay, he doubled down by adding MORE troubling lines and situations (that were never in the book at all, and imagined solely by himself) in a romantic story with a happy ending.
Perhaps there’s not so much something odd going on with Knightley, Mr. Davies, but with you.
Final Thoughts
At this point I might ask what it is that everyone sees in this version that makes them think it’s so perfect, but that would be a bit pointless since all I’ve read since I discovered this version is people on elaborating on just that and I don’t care to hear much more.
“The lines are verbatim!” textually, perhaps, but it’s the ones that added that trouble me.
“The leads have so much chemistry!” I’m glad you think so, but I can’t find it.
“The costumes are damn near perfect!” And brown. So, so very brown.
As a 90's TV period drama, this version is pretty standard. It sticks to the book (except in those places where the screenwriter saw fit to dabble with some subtle but troubling suggestions about the characters.) And if it floats your boat, as always I'm glad it gives you what you want from the story.
I know I hold unpopular opinions on Jane Austen adaptations, and perhaps this is one of them, but every time I watch this version I feel the need to read the book as a cleanse. Perhaps Davies’s ferocious Knightley was simply a pendulum swing reaction to Douglas McGrath’s almost too laid back interpretation in the Miramax film from earlier in 1996, but even if that’s the case it’s just uncalled for and is my biggest turn off for this film.
Tone: 3
Ribbon Rating: Badly Done! (40 Ribbons)
Casting: 5
Acting: 6
Scripting: 4
Pacing: 2
Cinematography: 4
Setting: 3
Costumes: 5
Music: 2
Book Accuracy: 6
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My list of X-Files inspired BBC Sherlock fic prompts
I recently finished reading @88thparallel‘s fabulous “Written in Ashes”, a BBC Sherlock fic inspired by the X-Files episode Demons. I’m a huge X-Files fan myself, and the idea of adapting an XF story into a Sherlock one sent me down a rabbit hole. I decided to compose a list of ideas, all up for grabs, for X-Files plots that can be adapted in interesting ways to a BBC Sherlock casefics.
Below you’ll find a list of X-Files episode with their original description, and some suggestions based on my knowledge of the two shows of what makes the plot an interesting one to write. As I mentioned, these ideas are PROMPTS, suggestions - feel free to write them. In fact it’ll be my honor! Let me know if and when you do (I might even create a collection for them in AO3).
Ice (1x07) - Mulder and Scully investigate the death of an Alaskan research team. Isolated and alone, the agents and their accompanying team discover the existence of extraterrestrial parasitic organisms that drive their hosts into impulsive fits of rage. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: extreme nature adventures (mountains, snow, remote research facilities); isolated together with strangers in a distant location (Ice was supposed to be a bottle episode); a lot of suspense as Mulder and Scully’s trust in each other is put to the test (a handgun showdown), physical inspections rife with sexual tension, ooo!
Darkness Falls (1x19) - Mulder and Scully are called in to investigate when a team of loggers disappear without a trace. Initially suspecting eco-terrorism, the agents find themselves trapped by a seemingly ancient menace lurking in the woods. According to Wikipedia, “Chris Carter was inspired to write this episode based on an interest in dendrochronology (sic? that’s how it’s spelled in wikipedia), a subject that involves analyzing annual growth rings found in non-tropical tree species.” An interesting topic to develop! Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Just like in Ice, opportunity to write magnificent nature descriptions; also like in Ice, Mulder and Scully have to fend to themselves against the ‘others’; wonderful quotes such as “Rugged manly-men. In the full bloom of their manhood.” and “Come on, Scully. It'll be a nice trip to the forest." A Three Garridebs moment could work here!
Pusher (3x17) - Ah, Pusher. An early Vince Gilligan classic! Mulder and Scully’s assistance is requested for a case involving a man, who goes by the pseudonym "Pusher", seemingly capable of bending people to his will. The suspect uses his mysterious abilities to manipulate Mulder into a dangerous end game. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Many parallels can be found between Modell and Eurus and or Moriarty; the game of cat and mouse in hopes of luring Mulder as the end game is quite similar to the TFP/TGG; the final game of Russian roulette with Mulder at the end is a classic MSR scene which could be lovely to write for John and Sherlock (Gillian is amazing with that One Tear™ while she threatens Modell); an opportunity to instill a fear of a very specific shade of blue in your readers; a chance of a sequel, since Modell returns with a vengeance in Kitsunegari.
Jose Chung's From Outer Space (3X20) - Mulder and Scully hear, and promptly investigate, a story about an alien abduction of two teenagers. Each witness provides a different version of the same facts. Within the episode, a thriller novelist, Jose Chung, writes a book about the incident. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Humor! Lots and lots self-aware, meta-type inner-jokes humor as an observant book writer describes Mulder/Sherlock’s many weird traits.
Avatar (3x21) - Assistant Director Walter Skinner is accused of murdering a prostitute, Mulder and Scully investigate to determine the truth behind what happened. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A fine chance to turn Skinner into Sholto or one of John’s other army friends (Skinner discusses trauma from his days in Vietnam in this episode, which could be adapted to Afghanistan). John Asks for Sherlock’s help on behalf of Sholto/said friend and there’s a thrilling prospect of some good old jealousy :) *After writing this I kinda fell in love with this idea and I might attempt writing this, but I’m absolutely not claiming this exclusively! If you like the idea go ahead!
Paper Hearts (4X08) - Another Vince Gilligan episode, my go-to one these days for when I miss the show and need a good dose of Mulder and Scully. I can go on and on about why I love this episode but I’ll spare you from that right now ;) Mulder and Scully find that a child killer who Mulder had helped to apprehend several years earlier had claimed more victims than he had confessed to; and in the resulting investigation, learn that the killer is now claiming to have killed Mulder's sister Samantha. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: The Alice in Wonderland theme in the episode is somewhat reminiscent of the Hansel and Gretel theme from TRF so Moriarty could be one way to go; another way to go is have Eurus as a villain in a TFP plot fix-it (if you find the Sherrinford plot exaggerated), with Sherlock’s hope of finding Victor’s body by the end of the game.
Zero Sum (4x21) - In the episode, a case Mulder is asked to investigate is covertly covered up by the agents' boss Walter Skinner, who has made a sinister bargain with The Smoking Man. Scully is missing in this episode (Mulder cites her cancer treatments; Gillian Anderson was filming something else at the time). Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A wonderful opportunity for a Lestrade-as-Skinner story! (and you’re given a fine chance to write a Lestade naked with nothing but pants situation); Mulder is a bit lost without Scully in this episode so that’s added background Johnlock angst; the story can happen when John is away, either during his honeymoon or after Mary dies.
The Pine Bluff Variant (5x18) - This is an underrated episode which I quite like, personally. Scully grows suspicious of Mulder when she thinks he may be helping a terrorist organization. Scully begins to wonder if he is now a traitor to the FBI. It is eventually revealed that Mulder is working as a mole in the group, and he is trying to stop them before they are able to use a biological weapon—that may have been created by members of the U.S. government—which causes rapid degeneration of human flesh. Cool plot points you might enjoy: alternating POVs between Sherlock and John; a lot of tension between John and Sherlock while John is suspicious; Mycroft recruiting Sherlock to appear as a traitor.
Triangle (6x03) - What can I possibly say about Triangle that hadn’t been said before? Cool plot points you might enjoy: An AU-within-AU opportunity - a chance for John and Sherlock to meet in a WW2 era, saved by rebel-Nazi Lestrade, Sherlock’s irregulars are The Lone Gunmen, a kiss, a punch, “You’re my one in five billion” (remember when there 5 billion people on this planet?) :) If you do write this, please make sure present John and past John pass each other by and get a strange, tingling sensation as a result! It’s one of my favorite scenes in the entire show.
Dreamland I & II (6x04 and 6x05) - Mulder and Scully visit Area 51. But when the agents witness the flight of a mysterious craft, Mulder and a member of the Men in Black switch bodies, unbeknownst to the others. In part two, Scully begins to suspect that her partner's strange behavior is more than it appears to be, while Mulder fights to return his life to normal before it is too late. Cool plot points you might enjoy: Humor, humor and more humor. Mostly Morris Fletcher trying to bed John (=Scully) who promptly pulls a gun on him. That should be an awesome scene to write in and of itself. And let’s not forget “Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a doctor and you should know better.“ as well as “I’d kiss you if you weren’t so damn ugly.”
Tithonus (6x09) - Another underrated episode. I think it deals with the theme of death’s inevitability rather beautifully. Scully learns that she, but not Mulder, is being given a chance to prove her worth at the FBI, and—paired with a new partner—she investigates a crime scene photographer with an uncanny knack for arriving just in time to see his victims' final moments. What she does not expect, however, is for Death to play a role himself. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: John exploring on his own, for one reason or another, attached to another investigator (things happen!); this episode further explores a theory referred throughout the show since Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, that Dana Scully is immortal (she seems to avoid death in this episode as well). It’s an Appointment in Samarra sort of story.
Monday (6x15) - Mulder and Scully are stuck in a deadly time loop. It’s a story that writes itself! Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Sherlock or John having a really bad morning, over and over again.
Alpha (6x16) - Mulder and Scully investigate several killings blamed on an Asian dog called the Wanshang Dhole, thought to be extinct. Mulder and Scully join an obstinate Sheriff, a seemingly eccentric hunter, and a reclusive canine expert to find it. However, there is more mystery to the expert than meets the eye. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: I enjoy this episode because it has some gentle but obvious MSR moments. Scully is suspicious (and low-key jealous) of Karin Berquist’s involvement in the case and it colors her opinion of the investigation. A key quote in this episode, preformed softly and beautifully by Gillian, is: “She's enamored of you Mulder. Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too.”
The Unnatural (6x17) - This is a weird ass episode, let’s admit it. This is DD’s love story to baseball and it’s silly and sometimes boring/slow. BUT, it has lovely MRS moments. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: The structure of story within a story (Mulder retells his time spent with Arthur Dales who tells him the story of Josh Exley) is interesting enough. The opening and closing scenes are lovely as well of course!
X-Cops (7x12) - Mulder and Scully are interviewed for the Fox reality television program Cops during an X-Files investigation. Mulder, hunting what he believes to be a werewolf, discovers that the monster terrorizing people instead feeds on fear. While Mulder embraces the publicity of Cops, Scully is more uncomfortable about appearing on national television. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: It’s your chance to write a Sherlock crossver fic about an X-Files crossover episode. If that’s not cool, I don’t no what is.
Hollywood A.D. (7x18) - Let’s admit it, Hollywood A.D is not a good episode, as funny as it is. This episode was one of the first signs the show had lost its edge, possibly because they thought this would be their truly-this-time last season. However, it IS funny and gave rise to fans claims that by this point, Mulder and Scully were Definitely Sleeping Together. Wayne Federman, an entrepreneurial Hollywood producer and college friend of Walter Skinner picks up the idea for a film based on the X-Files, however Mulder and Scully find that the level of realism in their fictional portrayal is somewhat questionable. Meanwhile, during the filming of the movie, Mulder and Scully research the mysterious "Lazarus Bowl", an artifact that supposedly has the exact words that Jesus Christ spoke to raise Lazarus from the dead recorded on its surface. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Lots of inner-jokes and crack humor, many fluffy moments, the chance to imagine who’ll play Lestrade, Sherlock and John in a BBC Film, Lazarus could refer to The Fall(!), which could be the plot to said film.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe - Mulder and Scully have both left the FBI, but when an FBI agent is mysteriously kidnapped, and a former priest who has been convicted of being a child molester claims to be experiencing psychic visions of the endangered agent, they reluctantly accept the FBI's request for their paranormal expertise. I know, I know. Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t like it either at first, but a) compared to the revival seasons, it’s not that bad and b) in terms of established relationship angst, it’s a fucking goldmine. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A chance to write a post-recent-retirement fic for Sherlock and John, with a lot of tension in their established relationship based around John’s reluctance to return to their lives as investigators. IWTB has quotes like “This isn't my life anymore, Mulder. I'm done chasing monsters in the dark.” and “This stubbornness of yours, it's why I fell in love with you.” So there! Don’t dismiss the idea so quickly!
Wow, this turned out longer than I expected! I hope you liked them, and even if you don’t write anything - I definitely enjoyed this exercise.
My finished fics are ready to be read on AO3 :)
#bbc sherlock#sherlock fic#sherlock fic prompts#x-files#the x files#sherlock/x-files crossovers#john watson#sherlock holmes#dana scully#fox mulder
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Enola Holmes (2020) Review
The game is afoot.....sorta?
Plot: When Enola Holmes, Sherlock's teen sister, discovers her mother missing, she sets off to find her, becoming a super-sleuth in her own right as she outwits her famous brother and unravels a dangerous conspiracy around a mysterious young Lord.
It’s strange to wonder that Sherlock Holmes and Godzilla may share something in common. Though that is indeed the case, at least from the perspective that they both have been adapted to screen so many times in so many different versions. And there’s more where that came from, baby!! Godzilla vs. Kong shall be gracing our screens at some point in the future once studios begin to trust sending their movies to the theatres again (no thanks to Disney!), whilst Robert Downey Jr. has been teasing the third instalment of his take on the famous London detective for a while, but for now Netflix is bagging in on the action by adapting a fan-fiction of the property with Enola Holmes, based on the book series by Nancy Springer, which is more of a modernistic contemporary take on Conan Doyle’s classic. Again though, this is the case of where I watched the film but haven’t read the original book. I mean, I’ve read many of the original-original Sherlock Holmes novels, those are great, but when it comes to fan-fiction I cannot say I have made the effort to check them out. I don’t read fan-fiction at all actually, hence why I never read Fifty Shades of Grey. Then again, nor did I read Twilight for that matter, and that’s an original book, but hey-ho, I have no time for Pattinson-looking sparkling vampires. I digress though, today we’re talking Enola Holmes, and if it is worth your time.
It’s okay. The film is okay. It’s likeable yet predictable; characters are overly cartoonish and quirky, making me question if this is a movie for children. Then there a couple of gory moments which made me rethink who the target audience here really is. As a whole, the movie also feels scattered and all over the place with the off-pacing causing me to be bored quite a few times throughout. Plot-lines feel disjointed and partially random. I’m pretty sure there is a love story sub-plot, yet it felt so forced and unnecessary that it should’ve been missed. Also, the lack of intrigue to the central mystery is a definite blow to the proceedings, since the mystery itself isn’t really, well, mysterious so to speak, and the pay-off is straight disappointing. The puzzle-solving element is minor. There’s also the inclusion of fourth-wall breaking in style of Deadpool and Fleabag, but that comes to diminishing returns. That shtick has been done too many times now in films, as such it comes off annoying more than anything else.
Two elements worth discussing. First off, this movie is really feministic and tries to be really progressive towards the #MeToo movement. I can respect commentaries on oppression and class privilege, however the movie falls short of it’s “girl power” depiction. The main lesson Elona learns during her adventures is that her future is in her own hands. Fair enough, good lesson if not a bit too broad, but okay, well done! Glad for you there, Elona. However, Enola’s refusal to conform to the Victorian standards comes at the cost of belittling everyone else. All other characters are constrained in their stereotypes where they are not given any opportunity to break out of, and Enola laughs at them all with the motto “you guys suck, I’m Enola b****es!!” It feels like the film is trying to say that female characters can only be good if they accept their tomboyish nature, and that honestly comes off as a wrong message. Look, I really admire what the film is trying to do, but there must’ve been a better approach to this. As such, Enola comes off as self-centred, and the issues of the Victorian class system left unaffected. And second big point, the Holmes connection. Sherlock Holmes here, played very charismatically by Henry Cavill, is much burlier and friendlier than previous iterations of the characters, and in fact is nothing alike to Conan Doyle’s original creation. Don’t get me wrong, Cavill is very appealing and likeable in the role, but its not Sherlock Holmes, and I feel like if the Holmes factor was simply taken out and Enola was just a sister of this random nice buff London gentleman, it would have worked better. But I get it, business companies want to cash in on a popular brand, so I get it.
As a whole, I myself wasn’t that impressed with Enola Holmes. Visually its actually quite appealing, with the cinematography and style reminiscent of something that would air on the BBC, but as a whole the movie is a mess. Also, I really really really don’t like Millie Bobby Brown. Hmmm....I feel like I should’ve started with that.
Overall score: 5/10
#enola holmes#netflix#sherlock holmes#nancy springer#milly bobby brown#sam claflin#henry cavill#helena bonham carter#movie#film#mystery#film reviews#movie reviews#2020#2020 in film#2020 films#enola holmes review#adventure#crime#breaking the fourth wall#harry bradbeer#louis partridge#frances de la tour
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💖 What your favorite Mexico´s ship/OTP says about YOU ...
Spanish version —> AQUÍ
Hello everyone! The month of love is finally over, but before that, inspired by the “What your Favorite Hetalia ship says about you” and related; and since Mexico is one of the most shipped countries (at least by the Hetalia and Countryhumans latin fandom), I decided to make this in collaboration with my cousin. If you are not familiar with this, basically it is a recopilation of facts some people share when they ship Mexico with another country.
WARNINGS AND NOTES BEFORE WE START:
- This post is for both, Hetalia and Countryhumans fans. I clarify that in this blog we don´t discuss which one is better than the other, we enjoy the healthy part and avoid the toxic part.
- This is just for fun, and IT SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Think of it as a horoscope, you can share some of the facts, maybe not. The main purpose is to have some fun.
- We are aware that not all the ships will be here, or that not all of them will have the same extension. We tried to gather all we could.
- This is an extra warning for the English translation: This post may contain a lot of mexican and latin american modern references. Also, the best known historical periods are going to be mentioned, so if you are not familiar with the history of Mexico, we invite you to watch this video, and to consult other articles and media.
Without further due, let´s begin:
FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS ONE OF THE POSSIBLE REASONS YOU SHIP MEXICO WITH ONE, IF NOT, MORE COUNTRIES:
- You are mexican, I don´t have a doubt. You have a Mexico OC and you make fanarts and write fanfics about him/her with your favorite character.
- You are latino, and you came from the Latin Hetalia fandom, or you are from the latin fandom of Countryhumans (obviously, Miss Sherlock Holmes).
- You are neither mexican or latino, but still you like Mexico.
- If you are from Hetalia, you are still waiting the day Himaruya publish the official design of Mexico, so he/she can interact with your favorite character.
OKAY, NOW LET´S GO WITH THE SHIPS:
IF YOU LIKE 🇺🇸 USAMEX (USA X Mexico) 🇲🇽
- Favorite fanfic genre: Angst.
- Your guilty pleasures are the toxic love, the impossible love or the unrequited love. Or perhaps you like stories about people who fall in love with their chilhood friend. Or you like the phrase “From hate to love...”
- If you are from Hetalia, (also applies to Countryhumans) probably you also like FrUK (France x UK) or SpUK (Spain x UK). Or you simply don´t support USUK (USA x UK).
- If you are mexican, probably you are from the North, and you love the North and South Mexico OC´s. (And obviously, you ship North Mexico with USA).
- If you are mexican, you probably have visited the United States or your have relatives living there. Going further, you are chicano.
- You love the states personifications of both countries, and you are fascinated by the idea that Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and California are the USA and Mexico kids.
- If you are from Hetalia, you like cowboy America, and you also like Mexico dressed as a revolutionary or adelita.
IF YOU LIKE 🇷🇺 RUSMEX (Russia x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You hate USAMex and surely you don´t like United States if you are mexican.
- Your favorite historical event: the Cold War.
- Favorite word: Tripaloski.
- You like couples with a lot of height difference. Lil Mex is the most adorable thing in the world.
- If you are a Countryhumans fan, probably you also ship Perú with USA.
- You like love triangles stories. (Cough… cough… USA x Mexico x Russia)
- You have seen Youtube videos of “Rusos Reaccionan a…” (Russians react to), and of mexicans in the Russia 2018 FIFA.
IF YOU LIKE 🇨🇦 CANMEX (Canada x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You like fluffy ships.
- You think Canada is a better suitor than the toxic USA and the distant and cold Russia. (Or if you are from Hetalia, you think Russia is too mad and unstable for Mexico)
- If you are mexican, you have visited Canada, you want to work or study there, or you have relatives living in Canadá.
- If you´re from Hetalia, it is likely that you don´t like CuCan (Cuba x Canada).
- Also, if you´re from Hetalia, you got excited when in the anime and the manga, Kumajiro mentioned Mexico, and then you got mad because he/she was never showed up!
- If you´re mexican, you were into the memes of Peña Nieto and Justin Trudeau.
- Like Russia case, you adore the love triangles, but in this case you like stories about brothers who have a crush on the same person.
IF YOU LIKE 🇪🇸 SPAMEX (Spain x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You like sugar daddies. (Daddy Spain 😏)
- Your guilty pleasure are stories about possesive couples and couples with secret lovers. (Okay, that´s not healthy...)
- If you´re from the Hetalia fandom, you do not like SpaMano (Spain x Romano), and if you are mexican, you will never accept (or you ignored) that canonically, Romano received better treatment than the rest of Spain colonies.
- If you are mexican, you like when Mexico (or New Spain) is represented as the spoiled kid, as daddy´s little princess, and as the best colony of Spain. (Sorry, the other Spain former colonies.)
- Your favorite Mexico periods are the Conquest, the New Spain colonial era and the Independence.
- Probably you not only ship Mexico with Spain. Actually for some reason you like Mexico cheating Spain with another country, either England, France, a latin country and, why not? with the United States.
IF YOU LIKE 🇫🇷 FRAMEX (France x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You like to live the expensive life: Eating in gourmet restaurants, buying brand clothes, expensive trips with a five-star hotel stay. Or if you had money, you would love to live the expensive life.
- You like fashion and architecture.
- Favorite Mexico period: The Porfiriato. If you´re mexican, you think that outside of the bad things, Porfirio Díaz made great contributions to the country, and his remains should return to Mexico.
- If you are mexican, you live in the capital, or/and you love to visit Mexico City downtown.
- You like stories about characters who made the casanova to fall in love with them, or stories about the stalker gaining his crush´ heart. (Creepy...)
- If you like male Mexico, you like him to be a flirt and gallant. If you like female Mexico, you like her to be very femenine and dressing pretty outfits.
IF YOU LIKE 🇬🇧UKMEX (England x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- If you are from Hetalia, obviously you like tsundere characters.
- You are fan of Harry Styles, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Queen, the Beatles, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, or any other english celebrity.
- You´re a big fan of gentlemen like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice or Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. In fact, you have readed a lot of books from that period and from that genre.
- You like black humor, wordplay and double entendre phrases.
- You hate Spain and you think England would have been a better sugar daddy. (Why would you think that?)
- You think England would have been a better colonizer than Spain (Why would you think that?)
- If you´re from Hetalia, you like pirate England.
IF YOU LIKE 🇩🇪 GERMEX (Germany x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- If you´re from Hetalia you think Italy doesn´t deserve Germany. In other words: No GerIta.
- You like dogs, and you want to adopt Paco from Countryhumans.
- Favorite historical period: WWI and WWII.
- You are one of those who think the Zimmerman Telegram was a love confession letter from Germany to Mexico.
- You think England and United States are the worst for intervening on your OTP.
- You like stories Romeo and Juliet´ type: Two people who are from opposite groups who fell in love with each other.
- Also if you´re from Hetalia, besides you like the Doitsu, you like his BDSM side. (Fifty Shades of Germany, coming soon to your nearby bookstore)
IF YOU LIKE 🇦🇹 AUSMEX (Austria x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- If you are mexican, you think Maximilian I of Mexico would have been better governor than Benito Juárez.
- If you´re mexican, you think Mexico should have been an empire since it´s independence.
- You like stories about arranged marriages, or stories about a poor character who marries a rich one, like in telenovelas!
- If you are from Hetalia, probably you prefer PruHun (Prussia x Hungary).
IF YOU LIKE 🇮🇹 ITAMEX (Italy x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- Congratulations! You are 1000% unique and different. Oh, and you are alone in your fandom too. Barely there´s someone who shares your ship.
IF YOU LIKE 🇯🇵NIMEX (Japan x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You´re mexican and you are 100% otaku.
- You are tired of Mexico being shipped just with europeans, latinos and north americans. Asians also deserve time y admiration.
- You love cats. (You may be also in the furry fandom)
- If some of the previously mentioned ships have this feature, with this one you confirm that you like complete opposite couples.
- You love long distance relationships.
- If you´re from Hetalia, you like Japan quiet, shy, inocente tiene la mirada… 🎵 🎵 🎵Le tomo la mano, y siente algo extraño … 🎵(Okay, i´ll stop singing)
IF YOU LIKE 🇨🇳 CHUMEX (China x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You don´t like neither USAMex or RusMex.
- Or maybe you like the Rusia x México x China love triangle. You can add USA, and now you have some kind of love square.
- You have seen the Chumel Torres on HBO videos, specially those that are titled: “Mexicanos al Grito de Trump” and “Latinos Enemigos”.
- You like the apps Wish and Tik Tok.
- Unlike those who ship FraMex, you prefer to save money by buying good, pretty and cheap things. You have bought in Miniso and in other Chinese low-cost variety stores.
- You like couples with a lot of age difference (If you are an Hetalia fan, you know what I mean). In other words: 🎵A mí me gustan mayores, de esos que se llaman señores … 🎵
- You prefer Huawei rather than Iphone.
IF YOU LIKE 🇰🇷 South Korea x Mexico 🇲🇽
- It is more likely that you came from Hetalia than Countryhumans, and you think Korea needs more recognition alongside China and Japan, even more when this character was censored from the anime.
- If you´re mexican, your ship started when: “Hermano coreano, ya eres mexicano”. (Korean bro, you are already mexican)
- You like K-Pop.
- You have seen videos of El Coreano and Coreano Vlogs on Youtube.
IF YOU LIKE 🇧🇷 BRAMEX (Brazil x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇦🇷 ARGMEX (Argentina x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇨🇱 CHIMEX (Chile x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇵🇪 MEXRU (Mexico x Peru) 🇲🇽, or ANY OTHER LATIN AMERICAN COUNTRY X MEXICO.
- IN GENERAL:
- If you are from Hetalia, obviously you are from the Latin Hetalia fandom. If you are from Countryhumans, obviously you are mexican and/or latino.
- Your favorite characters are without doubt the latinos, and you prefer that all stays in family. In fact, you don´t like to ship Mexico with first world countries, or you use these last ones to create love triangles, love squares, or any other love geometric figure.
- You like Mexico being the dom of the relationship.
- BRAMEX: If you are from Countryhumans, you are most likely to be a fan of @torakashu. You don´t like Argentina x Brazil, or maybe you like the Argentina x Brasil x México love triangle. You also ship Argentina with Chile.
- ARGMEX: You don´t like Argentina x Brazil, or maybe you like the Argentina x Brasil x México love triangle. You also ship Brazil with Uruguay.
- CHIMEX: You live with roomies. You love tsundere characters like those who ship UKMex, but maybe not too tsunderes. And people who don´t like your ship, you smack´em with your guitar! ( 😁)
- MEXRU: If the people who ship RusMex like lil adorable Mexico, you think that Peru (who is even more short sized) is the most mega super 1000% kawaii thing in the universe. Probably you also like the Rusia x Peru x USA x Mexico love square.
IF YOU LIKE 🇺🇦 UKRAMEX (Ukraine x Mexico) 🇲🇽 or 🇧🇾 BELMEX (Belarus x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- Your favorite historical event: the Cold War.
- You think that RusMex is very overrated, and similar to the CanMex case, you think Russia siblings are better suitors.
- You don´t care to ship countries which do not share a lot of history and interactions compared to others.
- If you are from Hetalia you are a Belarus fan,and you ignore or hate her canon personality in the manga and the anime.
IF YOU LIKE 🇳🇱 NEDMEX (Netherlands x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You are from the Hetalia fandom, without doubt.
- Favorite Mexico Historical Period: The New Spain Colonial era.
- You like mysterious guys and with aura of "bad boy" but romantic on the inside.
- Eh… you like tulipans???
IF YOU LIKE 🇵🇭Phillippines x Mexico 🇲🇽
- Favorite Mexico Historical Period: The New Spain Colonial era.
- More probably you are from Hetalia than Countryhumans.
- You like dom Mexico.
- Is probably that you ship, both Phillippines and Mexico, with other countries, since this two have their own harems.
IF YOU LIKE PRUMEX (Prussia x Mexico) 🇲🇽, 🇵🇹 Portugal x Mexico 🇲🇽, Scotland x Mexico 🇲🇽
- You are an Hetalia fan.
- PRUMEX: You don´t like GerMex.
- PORTUGAL X MEXICO: You don´t like SpaMex.
- SCOTLAND X MEXICO: You don´t like neither UKMex or USAMex.
- IN GENERAL: You don´t like popular Mexico ships, and you prefer to ship Mexico with the siblings of the popular countries.
IF YOU LIKE 🇲🇽Mexico x Any other country which is not on this post 🌎
You like random ships, you are unique and different, or you simply are a mexican who has visited or likes certain country.
IF YOU LIKE 🇲🇽 Mexico x Mexico 🇲🇽
- You are a 100% patriot mexican.
- You like the North, South, and even Central, Mexico OC´s.
IF YOU LIKE 🌎THE MEXICO HAREM (Everyone x Mexico) 🇲🇽
- You are mexican without doubt.
- You like submissive Mexico, or you like the flirty Mexico OC´s.
- You think Mexico is the best country in the world and everybody should know it.
- You get excited everytime a foreigner speaks well about your country. You often read the news about Mexico and it´s negotiations and agreements with the other countries.
- You have thoroughly investigated the history of Mexico and its relations with other countries. You've watched the YouTube channels of MainWatchers, Yolo Camotes and The Nopal Times Tops
- You are studying or you are interested on the next careers: International relations, History and Languages.
- If you´re a fan of Hetalia, you like all the male characters and you fantasize about them.
————
We finish! If you like it and you had fun with it, I invite you to reblog it with this emoji: 💟. We also invite you to reblog it so you can share it with more fans :)
I still have a lot of work and it seems it will get more hard, but I´ll do my best to keep active. Without anything more to say, see you all on the next post.
#hetalia mexico#latin hetalia mexico#countryhumans mexico#what your favorite ship says about you#usamex#rusmex#canmex#spamex#framex#ukmex#germex#ausmex#itamex#nimex#chumex#south korea x mexico#bramex#argmex#chimex#mexru#ukramex#aph mexico#belmex#NedMex#phillippines x mexico#mexico harem#mexico x everyone#why there are so many ships for Mexico?#Almost everyone ends with mex
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Top 5 Male Characters
I was tagged by @whaticameherefor - thanks, dear, this was fun!
Standard disclaimer: These are some of my favourites – I'd be hard-pressed to choose the actual top 5. Whom I love best varies a bit (though no 1 below will probably always be no 1).
Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)
This one strode straight into my heart on Boxing Day 1994, and it's fair to say that my life might well have looked rather different if he hadn't. Star Wars was my first big fandom, and it's still the one I keep in my heart of hearts, even if I'm not into Disney's revisionist stuff at all. (Which is a shame, because Rey, Poe and Finn are darling and I would have loved to see good movies wih them.) Darth Vader is kind of like a fusion between two of my very early favorites: Shredder (from Turtles) and Zorro, so yeah. I fell for Vaderkin the second he said “I am your father” because in that moment I knew that a, there was an exciting history there, and b, he'd turn back to the light side. I was a dangeorusly genre savvy 10-year old, I just want that said – and I've been a sucker for a redemption arc since... forever. I have a vivid memories of dreaming of Duchess Ravenwaves of Lady Lovelylocks becoming fast friends when I was a 7 or 8.
Excellent things about my dumbass Chosen One include his dedication to being a Dramatic Bitch, him being very intelligent about some things while being so fucking stupid about others, his general prowess (Kee has a competence kink, y'all... ), and the fact that he loves enough to both break the world and heal it. Truth be told, though, I've loved him for so long that I can't really say what it is I love about him, the same way you can't really say that about siblings or close friends: I just know that I do.
Jim Moriarty (Sherlock)
Jim's an amoral genius with a thing for Sherlock Holmes, and not only does he dress well but he is fun, which is only all too rare in villains. (Unless you go for the actually insane and sadistic ones, which I don't so much.) If you gonna be evil, you might as well delight in it! When pulling off a complicated heist, Jim takes the time to design a completely bogus app with super cute icons, in spite of him being the only one who will ever see them. This is the kind of dedication I look for! Underneath the slick facade and wisecracks, there's the very occasional glimmer of utter ennui and loneliness, which makes his gleeful embrace of CRIME all the more compelling to watch.
Incidentally, Sherlock was the fandom that had me move from LiveJournal to Tumblr back in 2012. I'm extremely intrigued by Sherlock and Jim's relationship – foe yay dreams were made of this – and I have to say that my interest in the series dwindles since Jim's death (THERE WAS NO BODY! HE COULD HAVE FAKED IT! DON'T AT ME!), thought that might well be due to season 3 and (particularly) 4 not quite living up to the absolute glory that was the two first seasons.
Gabriel Gray/Sylar (Heroes)
Driven by a need to be 'special' (blame it on his mom), humble watchmaker Gabriel Gray adopts the name Sylar and starts murdering people to steal their various super powers, as you do. Sylar ticks several of my boxes: extreme competence, one-liners, into being super dramatic, proper enjoyment of being bad, strong eyebrow game, redemption arcs. Yes, arcs - there are several, as Sylar kind of goes back on forth on the whole being evil thing. Later seasons introduce a 'hunger' that's supposed to explain his descent into darkness, which I'm not a huge fan of (I'm more into people making horrible choices of their own free will; drugs, psychotic breaks and being possessed by dark powers bore me) but I suppose it'd be a little hard to sell his ultimate redemption otherwise, because he kills so many people and often seem to have quite a bit of fun doing it. To be fair, he kind of goes to prison for eight years (even if it's all in his head... ) but yeah.
Since Sylar interacts with and antagonizes pretty much all of the heroic main cast, and does have shades of affable evil, he is very easy to ship with a lot of the good guys. Catnip for a foe yay fan like me.
Lucifer Morningstar (The Sandman, Lucifer)
Yes, this the comic book character the TV show is based on, but while the show has some charming qualities of its own, it's utterly rubbish as far as adaptations go. Comic book Lucifer is cold, brilliant, sardonic, never lies but manipulates like nobody's business. He plays the piano. He doesn't give a rat's ass about anybody's sins or immortal souls: he just wants to escape the tyranny of predestination. Which, you know, highly relatable. I'd want to do that to, if I believed in predestination. The people he feels anything but vaguely disdainful disinterest for are extremely few, and even those he does care about he'd probably be willing to sacrifice to achieve his own ends. He's not a charming character – but fuck, is he compelling!
The Lucifer introduced in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman is slightly softer than the version in Mike Carey's spin-off Lucifer, and I love them both. The Lucifer of the TV show... well, he does play the piano, I suppose.
Ian och Mickey (Shameless US)
Yes, this is cheating but you cannot make me choose! If I was forced to put only one, I'd put Mickey – though I miss Ian more when he's not around than I miss Mickey when he's missing from the show. In fairness to me, while they are both very interesting characters, they arguably become something else entirely and completely awesome when they're together. Mickey being such an utter thug while still retaining enough of a soft heart to be super soft for Ian, and Ian being genuinely kind and caring while at the same time being a little punk and generally ready to throw down.... Their differences, and their rather difficult circumstances, cause them quite a lot of problem over the years, but they complement each other in the best of ways: and they truly appreciate each other and have fun together. I love them, ok?
I’d like to tag @iwannabewhereyouaremickey @fiona-fififi @imberantiel and @sickness-health-all-that-shit - no pressure whatsoever, if this is not your thing though. :) Also, anyone else wanna do this, I’m always curious to know about people’s interests beyond Shameless, so have at it please.
#yeah i have a thing for villains#mickey is soft as fuck compared to most of my massmurdering faves#characters who I am a bit upset about not including#are sawyer from lost#he shares some qualities with mickey btw!#and scheming benjamin 'i lied' linus from the same show#i will never not love angriest boi zuko from atla#spike from buffy has been a fave for almost 20 years#but the older I get the more annoyed I get with his development in s6-s7#i'm one of star wars' wrenga 'jix' jixton few but dedicated fans#he's incidentally not entirely dissimlar from eliot spencer of leverage#whom i also love#because holy fuck competence kink#danny mahealani from teen wolf is one of few genuinele nice characters i adore#because while villains are the type of characters i tend to stan#kindness is the trait i admire most in others#i will never forgive teen wolf for writing him out of the show#personal
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let’s be GLAAD
On a fine Monday Miss Taylor Swift gifted us with a visual artistic statement, which made very visible the line between those who have no respect for human rights and those who just want to love freely and fight for their rights.
You Need To Calm Down is an exquisite provocation to bigotry, ignorance, homo-transphobia, sexism and racism. The thing that made (and makes) her great is her way to respond to any kind of criticism and attack: her art - musical and visual.
I don’t mean to do an accurate analysis because it’s frankly impossible and I’m still overwhelmed, I’d rather focus on what WE can see but others refuse/don’t understand.
First of all the trailer on fire. Why??? Well. As you notice the inside is her little pink bubble where she’s safe, she has her mantra “mom I’m a rich man” and her space.
But at this point is not enough and she needs to break free, or better, to step into the daylight and let it go. Let go what?
Notice how the colours of that scrap metal are basic, just... sad, whilst the outside world is in screaming colours. Yes. That’s a HUGE step from OOTW when the world wa black and white, well, not THIS one. I see this as a farewell to heteronormativity and sad, fake covers. The contrast here is beautiful because you can already see rainbow colours and she’s part of it. Pink, blue and yellow are the pansexual flag colours and she had them at WangoTango as well.
Speaking of colours there’s basically every shade of gay pride here, including somethng that I didn’t get at first but thinking it over and over I think has a double meaning:
At first I thought it was a reference to Orange Is The New Black (I still don’t get the bycicle) but then the colours reminded me of something..
The lesbian flag, which is the more inclusive one, like she always thinks about the smallest detail and I’m mindblown.
Anyway, the video has so many details that I’m happy to see every Sherlock-fan gets. Like the daisy, which is present outside the heteronormative trailer/world and could mean just one thing: they’re still going strong and they are happy in an inclusive, gay and happy world.
Also notice how allies are in it but not at the center (Ciara and Ryan) while she includes herself and at the end there’s the reconciliation with Katy, who, by the way, has already made clear that she’s fluid. So let’s celebrate that, and HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!
PS: I’m 99% sure that Cruel Summer will be about the engagement and so it could be one of the sad but not break-up songs and sorry but brb anticipating the cry.
#you need to calm down#you need to calm down music video#taylor swift#lgbt#pride month#gay icons#queer eye#ru paul#pop queens#katy perry#lover#ellen degeneres#laverne cox#billy porter#kaylor#my theory
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(191225)✨🎄🐥LTM with SHINee World Fanmeet Fanaccounts
CAUTION! Please be mindful in reading. fanaccounts are based on various fan’s perspective so any statement given can be very different from one another. Fanaccounts by:rewindjh and littlefreak0923
SETLIST
VCR
Danger x Sherlock Remix
Famous (Korean Ver.)
사랑인것같아 (I think this is love?It might be love?)
Move
Want
Shadow
Guess Who
Sexuality
Goodbye
Hypnosis
Haru (Shawol's Event)
Y.O.U
An Encore
By rewindjh
🐅The time stamp on the beginning vcr says his birthday and 5:25pm as the time! 🐅Santa Taemin outfit! To match fans Santa hats!!!! 🐅He kept checking if we ate yummy food for dinner last night and this morning. He’s so caring. He also started goofing around with the mics he had and put them in weird positions asking if we could hear him. 🤣 He wants to do mountain biking. Fans are trembling and shaking our lights no because we are worried. He watched videos related to it and he asked if he can do it if he is completely covered. He asked if scuba diving is okay and we were like okay. But then he objected why!! There are also baby and daddy sharks in the oceans! He said he will listen to us and be safe. 🐅 his bucket list is MT 도전. He wants to do mountain biking. Fans are trembling and shaking our lights no because we are worried. He watched videos related to it and he asked if he can do it if he is completely covered. He asked if scuba diving is okay and we were like okay. But then he objected why!! There are also baby and daddy sharks in the oceans! He said he will listen to us and be safe. He said if anything happens he will contact his manager LOL. 🐅He is writing in the card MERRY Ch * but he missed up the caps at H and made panicked oh sounds. He even asked us if the spelling was okay. He snickered and wrote ~~~ behind i love you because we all made 'awwww' sounds. He’s upgraded his skills from yesterday and he made a little man from the ❤️ heart he drew. 🐅He is adding red detailing to his penned message and put a red heart around together. He just ended up shading the whole message in red. We also told him to sign it. He is apologizing in advance because the stickers are hard to put on for the envelope. He joked that he was done after putting on three stickers so it was going to be off balanced. 🐅He keeps making eh! Sounds and he’s making a heart with the stickers. I love the zoomed in video of his little baby fingers 🐅His messages are so cute and he signed his card too!!! Someone is shouting for him to draw eve and he can’t hear her. 🐅He had a sour candy and already failed but he can’t whistle. The face he is making is so cute. He is like this is the very first time I’ve ever eaten something like this. He gave the candy to a fan to try. 🐅After the raffle for the winners of the christmas cards that taemin made and the poster He’s joking and pointing at the shawol neon sign and asked if we wanted that as a gift. He also ssked if we wanted the speakers. We said we want lee taemin but he joked he was a part of sm ent and could not give that. 🐅VCR: He doesn’t really like the Chinese foods. Beer. He doesn’t like the snacks & chose a different one called kimbap. He recommends boys ii men and Charlie puth. For the 🍫 Swiss part there’s his one fine day pic. 🐅The dancers brought his standee on!!!! LOL THE CAMERA MAN zoomed in on standee!taem. We are asking him to raffle off the standee so they brought it back onto stage.
By littlefreak0923
🍼TM: Hello everyone, this is SHINee's Taemin! Shawol!! Shawol!! 🍼TM:Did you eat delicious food last night?! What about this morning?? Who came last night?? Who just came today? 🍼TM:It's been awhile since we last met. Thank you for coming here today.((he talks about this fanmeet is a small way for him to calm Shawols down who misses him/SHINee..)) 🍼About his Bucketlist TM:If I keep trying new things, there might be one thing (genre) that could make you guys think of me. (He says he's in the process of preparing for a new album!) TM: You guys knew I tried Sky diving & I got scuba-diving license last year right! Before I went to sleep, I watch a vid of someone riding down a mountain w/ bicycle 🍼Shawols and Taemin were arguing that it could be dangerous for him, but Taemin was like "What if it's not dangerous? What if I do it slowly?" Just don't get hurt, Taemin~ TT 🍼Taemin said It Might Be Love could sounds like a carol song because it gives you warmth. Seeing how shawols singing it together made him less nervous. 🍼TM: Y.O.U was a side track when we did a promotion for Ring Ding Dong. I think you guys will like it if I sing this song here- Taemin says this song has a message about love (to fans) And so does An Encore. 🍼TM:Let's meet again with a smile on our faces! This Has been Shining SHINee's Taemin! I love you Don't Cry~! if you cry, you will not receive presents~~ Ah~ (I'm) so childish.
#shinee#superm#taemin#lee taemin#tm:fanaccs#191225 LTM with SHINee World Fanmeet#fanmeet:LTM#tm:superm#191225
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Tiny Viewing Guide to Star Trek: The Next Generation
Just found out one of my oldest friends, a huge sci fi guy, has never actually seen TNG, or indeed any Trek. He asked if I wouldn't mind writing a viewing guide. Not all that tiny, but the blurb for each episode is tiny. YMMV.
S1
Encounter at Farpoint - Goofy but iconic, series premiere
The Naked Now - Bad but hilarious and a little important
Code of Honor - terrible racist horseshit
The Last Outpost - first time we meet the Ferengi, they're not impressive
Where No One Has Gone Before - interesting enough
Lonely Among Us - I have no memory of this place
Justice - terrible outfits, Wesley episode
The Battle - Picard episode, not terrible
Hide and Q - Riker-centric Q episode, not the best Q episode, not the worst
Haven - first time we meet Lwaxana, don't remember anything else
The Big Goodbye - first of many holodeck episodes, pretty good
Datalore - important!!!
Angel One - totally forgettable
11001001 - meh
Too Short a Season - weird, generally meh
When the Bough Breaks - Wesley episode, don't remember it much
Home Soil - no clue
Coming of Age - more Wesley (can you tell Gene Roddenberry liked the character?), but not bad
Heart of Glory - first time the Klingons get real character, important
The Arsenal of Freedom - automated weaponry is bad, mmkay
Symbiosis - nope, no idea
Skin of Evil - dark, nasty, generally unpleasant episode, important for character reasons
We'll Always Have Paris - genuinely do not remember this one but wiki says there's time travel and that's always fun
Conspiracy - real mixed feelings about this one, it's tense and interesting TV but not really good Trek and it has huge implications that are never revisited
The Neutral Zone - Romulans are reintroduced, pretty cool
S2
The Child - pretty decent Troi episode
Where Silence Has Lease - interesting space puzzle episode sprinkled with Picard philosophizing
Elementary, Dear Data - first Sherlock!Data holodeck episode, excellent stuff
The Outrageous Okona - weeeaaaak, but kind of funny
Loud As A Whisper - cool deaf character, cringey late-80s implementation
The Schizoid Man - Data episode, good acting, cringey dialogue
Unnatural Selection - Pulaski-centric, and I dislike Pulaski so this is a pass for me
A Matter Of Honor - Riker serves on a Klingon warship, some good stuff
The Measure of A Man - Easily a top 10 Trek episode of all time
The Dauphin - Wesley has a crush, receives terrible romantic advice from entire crew
Contagion - interesting lethal archaeology
The Royale - love this episode, it's terrible and bad science but I love it
Time Squared - weird time-travel stuff, not one of the best
The Icarus Factor - lot of good character stuff, terrible future martial arts
Pen Pals - excellent Data episode, thoughts about the Prime Directive
Q Who - WATCH THIS ONE
Samaritan Snare - bad episode, funny moments
Up The Long Ladder - holy shit the Irish racism
Manhunt - Lwaxana Troi at her best, love it
The Emissary - Amazing Klingon stuff
Peak Performance - good episode, lots of fun character bits
Shades of Gray - TERRIBLE CLIP SHOW AVOID AVOID AVOID
S3
Evolution - Wesley episode, not bad but not great
The Ensigns of Command - Mediocre Data episode
The Survivors - space puzzle episode, OK
Who Watches the Watchers - more prime directive stuff, mildly interesting
The Bonding - interesting stuff about grief
Booby Trap - another space puzzle, high stakes, cool payoff
The Enemy - Pretty good, Romulans
The Price - fun episode
The Vengeance Factor - ehhhhhhhh
The Defector - More Romulan stuff, is good
The Hunted - will 100% make you scream at how terrible security is in the future, not a bad ep though
The High Ground - ugh, just not great
Deja Q - good Q episode
A Matter of Perspective - let's use the holodeck to prove Riker couldn't have committed this crime!
The Offspring - WATCH THIS BUT BRING TISSUES
Sins of the Father - first of many Klingon Politics episodes, I love these with a fiery passion and my wife is bored to tears by them so YMMV
Allegiance - space puzzle, not a great one but not bad
Captain's Holiday - WATCH THIS, IS AMAZING
Tin Man - literally put me to sleep once
Hollow Pursuits - First of many Barclay episodes, my beautiful autistic space boi
The Most Toys - alright, worth one watch
Sarek - SO IMPORTANT WAAAAAAAAAATCH
Menage a Troi - bad episode, worth it for the payoff
Transfigurations - Jason Ironheart called, he knows he came after this episode chronologically but he was better
The Best of Both Worlds, Part 1 - YAAAS
S4
The Best of Both Worlds, Part 2- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS
Family - So important
Brothers - Very Important
Suddenly Human - meh
Remember Me - very interesting space puzzle, one of the Crusher episodes where she gets to be awesome
Legacy - not the most jaw-dropping ep but important
Reunion - KLINGON POLITICS YEEES
Future Imperfect - interesting enough
Final Mission - Wesley episode, not bad
The Loss - v. good Troi episode
Data's Day - fun, wholesome Data times
The Wounded - SO GOOD AND SO IMPORTANT
Devil's Due - I love this episode even if it's not that important or good
Clues - Awesome space puzzle
First Contact - eh? okay? sure?
Galaxy's Child - fine, whatever
Night Terrors - uuuuugh, no
Identity Crisis - this one scared the fuck out of me as a kid and may be responsible for my deep-seated body-transformation-horror triggers, now it's just kind of weird
The nth Degree - BARCLAY, LOVE HIM AND THIS EP
Qpid - YES SO GOOD
The Drumhead - This is Michael Dorn's favorite episode and it is worthy of the title
Half a Life - Lwaxana is great, the episode not as much
The Host - introduction of the Trill, kind of cringey almost 30 years later
The Mind's Eye - brainwashing stuff, meh
In Theory - Data tries to date, hilarities ensue
Redemption Part 1 - GIVE ME THE KLINGON POLITICS
S5
Redemption Part 2 - MOOOOOOOOOORE
Darmok - One of my top 5 episodes in the series
Ensign Ro - so important, introduces the Bajorans and Ensign Ro
Silicon Avatar - important for Data, not a terribly interesting episode otherwise
Disaster - Troi gets to shine! cool episode
The Game - by far the worst Wesley episode. everyone is seduced into acting like a brainwashed idiot by a terrible space future video game. fuck this episode and everyone who wrote it but especially Brannon Braga.
Unification 1 - WATCH
Unification 2- THESE
A Matter of Time - So good, waaatch
New Ground - I am not a fan of Alexander but he is so important to Worf's growth, so... yeah
Hero Worship - more stuff about grief, eh
Violations - I don't remember this one that much but I do not think I enjoyed it
The Masterpiece Society - read the above description
Conundrum - amazing space puzzle episode. easily one of my favorites in the series
Power Play - meh
Ethics - very important, good Trek
The Outcast - THIS EPISODE COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER IF THE LOVE INTEREST WAS MALE. JONATHAN FRAKES PUSHED FOR A MALE ACTOR. watch it anyway
Cause and Effect - fun space puzzle, a little repetitive but totally solid
The First Duty - one of the best Picard Speeches ever, watch
Cost of Living - fun Lwaxana episode
The Perfect Mate - pretty meh but Famke Janssen is fun as Kamala
Imaginary Friend - so bored
I, Borg - INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT
The Next Phase - interesting episode about the afterlife
The Inner Light - THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE OF THE ENTIRE SERIES AND I CRY EVERY TIME
Time's Arrow 1 - Such good time travel
S6
Time's Arrow 2 - Such great Mark Twain
Realm of Fear - Yay more Barclay!
Man of the People - bad Troi episode
Relics - WAAAAAAAAAATCH
Schisms - space puzzle, kind of lame payoff due to effects limitations but the journey is worth it
True Q - By far the worst fucking Q episode ever written
Rascals - uuuuuuuugh. half the crew is regressed into children. Ferengi are involved. you are missing nothing.
A Fistful of Datas - amazing dumb holodeck episode, watch
The Quality of Life - boring episode, good message
Chain of Command 1 - So dark, so difficult, so totally riveting and important
Chain of Command 2 - See above
Ship in a Bottle - Sequel to Sherlock!Data, amazing
Aquiel - could have been written much better
Face of the Enemy - by far the best Troi episode, Marina Sirtis was incredibly happy when I told her it was one of my favorites
Tapestry - fantastic Q/Picard episode
Birthright 1 - Basically exists to set up DS9 but is pretty good and has important bits
Birthright 2 - See above
Starship Mine - DIE HARD ON THE ENTERPRISE
Lessons - Very important Picard episode
The Chase - amazing space puzzle episode, has one of my favorite one-off Klingon characters
Frame of Mind - is Riker's entire life a delusion he has created to mentally escape his imprisonment in a mental asylum? spoilers: no
Suspicions - Good mystery episode, Crusher gets to do stuff
Rightful Heir - Very important Worf episode, good Klingon stuff
Second Chances - uh, kind of bad, but it gets referenced later in DS9
Timescape - super interesting space puzzle, amazing character bits
Descent 1 - WAAATCH
S7
Descent 2 - as above
Liaisons - okay. not great. not bad.
Interface - OK Geordi episode
Gambit 1 - Amazing stuff
Gambit 2 - More amazing stuff
Phantasms - Psychological horror? in my Data? it's more likely than you think. watch
Dark Page - one of the few Lwaxana episodes I don't love
Attached - great Picard/Crusher episode
Force of Nature - environmentalism! is! good!
Inheritance - important Data episode
Parallels - SUCH A GOOD WORF EPISODE
The Pegasus - very important Riker episode
Homeward - Interesting Worf and Prime Directive episode
Sub Rosa - so cringey and terrible, oh my God
Lower Decks - a fun change of pace from the main cast
Thine Own Self - I don't love it, but it is good character stuff
Masks - weird space puzzle episode, I love it but I wouldn't call it Great
Eye of the Beholder - space mystery, it's not fantastic
Genesis - look. this episode is not good. but it has amazing costumework by Michael Westmore. and has some great Picard/Data stuff. watch it.
Journey's End - super important stuff. sets up a lot of stuff for DS9 and VOY
Firstborn - Good Worf/Alexander episode
Bloodlines - More Ferengi stuff, kind of lame
Emergence - space puzzle, weird but interesting
Preemptive Strike - So so so so important
All Good Things... - it's the series finale. and some of the best Trek ever. obviously you're going to watch.
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I’m gonna make a rec list of my favorite youtube video essays for absolutely no reason, just because I want to, on this fine saturday morning. hours and hours worth of content under the cut...
Philosophy Tube
He’s doing some really cool shit recently. Each of his videos is like a theatrical performance.
Steve Bannon: the end of this video gives me chills, and I’ve honestly watched this at least 5 times because.. the layers. the layers! the use of metaphor, the artistry, the acting. ugh.
Suicide and Mental Health: one of his most well-known videos, I believe, and it’s .. so good.
YouTube: Art or Reality?: very meta, and probably best watching after the Suicide video because it’s a commentary on that video specifically.
Jenny Nicholson
Her videos are great because they’re just about specific or obscure stuff that you may not know about but they’re presented in such a way that you can watch it for 2 hours and not even notice.
I hate the Greatest Showman more every minute: this was the first video of hers that I saw right after seeing this movie and god... yeah. I agree with everything.
The Worst Reality Show of All Time: this is just ... completely hilarious.
Well, I guess SOMEBODY had to read Trigger Warning: an hour and a half long video wherein she reads a book, makes some jokes, and there’s a stunning third act twist. A+
Folding Ideas
A Lukewarm Defense of 50 Shades of Grey (The Movie), part 1, part 2, and part 3. I’ve watched this series more times than I want to admit and it never gets old. it’s very funny, interesting, and contains one of the hottest takes I’ve ever seen.
Hbomberguy
Flat Earth: A Measured Response: ever want a deep dive into flat eartherism? what I love about this video is that it’s not particularly mean-spirited and does show some understanding, especially at the end, for why and how people fall into this kind of thing
Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why: this video went a bit viral when it came out, and started a trend of copycats, but (as a former sherlock fan...) it was very cathartic. also not mean-spirited toward the fans, which is nice.
ContraPoints
Decrypting the Alt-Right: How to Recognize a Fascist: this is an older one, but I still really like how it’s put together
Gender Critical: basically I just think I needed to see this video. as with all her videos, it’s well articulated and empathetic and never straw-mans the “other side” which is why she’s so successful at changing people’s minds
Shaun
Shaun holds a special place in my heart since he was the first lefty-tube person I watched, and I miss him.. hope he’s doing well. all his videos are A+ but here’s a sampling to get you started.
Outrage News: a look specifically at Breitbart news and how right-wing news frames stories
How PragerU lies to you: got a bit of comedy in this one, but it’s his usual standard of well-researched and well-articulated.
The Fate of the Frog Men: a bit more personal and an empathetic breakdown of the psychology of white, alt-right men. I honestly think this kind of conversation is what we need to be having to move the needle, as opposed to just ... refusing to understand each other. it doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does and that’s valuable.
Big Joel
God’s Not Dead: The Rhetoric of Christian Propaganda, plus part 2 and part 3. It’s sort of the classic “I’ll watch this so I don’t have to watch the movies” thing, but it's also a real look at what the arguments are and how they work. And the third “God’s Not Dead” movie is... maybe self-aware?
Bee Movie: The End of Trash: this is the last video of Big Joel’s series on Dreamworks movies and basically this video is just really funny.
Lindsay Ellis
The Case for Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame: a really interesting deepdive into the various incarnations of Notre Dame de Paris, taking into account the historical context of each, all leading to the Disney version.
That Time Disney Remade Beauty and the Beast: more of a mean one, but listen, I didn’t like the live action beauty and the beast either lol
Strucci Movies
Fake Friends: Parasocial Relationships, part 1 and part 2. this series is like 2.5 hours long but it’s really good while also.. hard to watch.
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