#no one loves evan buckley more than oliver stark

[stevenrogered]

When I watch it, it makes me feel really emotional. It’s such a release for Buck and this, quote unquote, “Oh!” moment. And it is this moment of not just release, but relief. - Oliver Stark

[gay-stuff-is-happening-here]

me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie me and buck me and eddie

[mischiefbuckley]

motorcycle guy… missed opportunity indeed to not have buck flirt with the guy while he was telling him that he needed his motorcycle like it would have been a nice parallel to buck and the tapeworm guy from season 1 and again once again demonstrate that buck has been and will always be a bisexual man

[evankinkley]

I know we all love Buck with our whole ass heart but you know who is on the top of the list of Evan Buckley stans and defender of that character? Oliver Stark.

[ambernotember]

I really just had to go back and look at some of these older articles because I was starting to feel a little crazy about what had been said??

There's literally an interview that said their relationship deepens in 8x06???? I just... w h a t

Oliver hoped Tommy would stay around even if Buck and Tommy didn't stay together? That's out.

Tim saying how important it was that Tommy had the connections that his previous girlfriends had been missing? Not explored on screen.

Breaking old habits? Nope.

Telling a story that is one of happiness and joy? Not so far! Not with that ending!

There are going to be issues but we don't want it to feel too down or too heavy? Um have we seen the scruff on Buck when he's baking with Jee? Flashbacks to 3x01, anyone?? Did he take time off work? We never see him that scruffy.

Did we even see Eddie left out in the cold? There hasn't been a lot of personal scenes tbh, and Buck and Tommy were there for Christopher's birthday party.

Also I would *love* to know if that friend/guest actress still feels that way now that 8x06 has aired.

[buckbuckleybidisaster]

It’s international Oliver Stark day!

Happy Birthday to Oliver Stark! Forever grateful that this man brought Evan Buckley to life and is the champion of Bi Buck and loves him more than any of us.

If Oliver has fans I am one of them, if he has one fan it’s me, if he has no fans I’m dead (incorrect I’ll love him for the grave)

[chevelleneech]

Both Buck/Tommy and Buddie shippers are being so dramatic about everything.

On one hand, you have people acting like Buck and Tommy is written in the stars and anyone who dislikes them are being unjust and hateful. On the other, you have people acting as if Buck can’t possibly be in a relationship with a man who isn’t Eddie, and claiming he can is somehow based in racism and hatred of Eddie.

Neither is true! The problem is that prior to 7x04, Evan Buckley was not a canon queer character. He was viewed that way by fans and Oliver Stark was all for it, but that does not change the actual canon history of the character. Therefore, the writers can only fix what they feel fits the current story. They can retcon a few things and so on, but both sides are acting like they’re right, and it makes no sense.

Yes, Buddie shippers have Oliver and Ryan on their side for the most part. Yes, Oliver believes Buck has been queer all along and he thinks a lot of the headcanons about his character’s reaction to things make sense, but he is NOT saying it’s all true. He agrees Buck was likely experiencing some jealousy when Eddie first showed up, but that does not mean Tim Minear is going to make that theory canon. It’s fans and Oliver who think it, but that does not equal canon.

As well, with things being slightly retconned or adjusted to fit the story… Tommy is obviously no longer an asshole by proximity. He was rude to Hen and Chim, but we’ve seen he him interact with the two of them since in civil ways. We know Chim thinks he’s cool. Continuing to demand he apologize on screen is a waste of time. It was five seasons ago, and the story had to change to fit Tim bringing his character back. It happens.

As for Buck/Tommy shippers, y’all have got to get off the high horse of Possibility. At the moment, there are so many ways their relationship can go, and the only reason you all are so high and mighty about it, is because you’re technically never going to be wrong until you’re wrong. Which is annoying.

Yes, Tim could choose to have Tommy stick around for another season. Yeah, Buck and Tommy could be endgame. Yeah, Buck and Tommy could… any and everything is possible, but acting as if Tommy is the love of Buck’s life and deserves fan devotion is crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I like the character. He seems nice if a little cocky, but I like that. I like that he’s written as a grown man who, even though he’s changed, still has a little bit of asshole in him.

Because yes, what he did to Buck on their first date was rude. He didn’t explain anything and left him standing outside the restaurant as if he hadn’t just told him he’s never dated a man before, and as if they hadn’t just run into his best friend. It was a dick move. However, it’s also kinda realistic. So I dug it, but that’s also all we really know about him.

Tommy is an army vet, flies helicopters, was a firefighter, and is gay. Which he struggled to come to terms with, and can be a dick. The way y’all treating him like a savior is insane. Y’all are trying to rub it in people’s face that his relationship with Buck is canon while Buddie isn’t, and I don’t understand that. Buck wasn’t even bisexual three episodes ago, so where is this higher than thou attitude even coming from?

The only thing people should be focused on is the fact that Buck is now canonically bisexual. Tim liked the idea and Oliver loved it, so they finally made it happen. Now, his story has even more potential. I’d even go so far as to say season 7 is going to be a cleaning and re-establishing of all the characters, because so many of them feel a little different.

We’ve got bi!Buck, meaning we’ll get to see him in one or more relationships that he isn’t used to being in. We’ve got a new actor playing Harry, and he’s older, meaning they’re going to have to write to his strengths and build a storyline there that is more mature. Bobby and Athena almost died together for real for real, thus hopefully we’ll get to see their relationship evolve and what if it changes them in any way. Chim and Maddie are finally getting married, so we get to see them kickstart a new chapter together. Hen and Karen have a new child, which will hopefully bring them more storylines and hijinks as a family. And Eddie is dealing with forcing himself to accept a relationship he may not even want to be in. And he’s aware this time, which could result in him ignoring his fears or bowing out, then having to face what bowing out means.

Point is, there is no reason for all this drama.

Buddie is not guaranteed just because it is a popular want for fans, and an accepted theory by the actors and showrunner. They’ve all said it has to fit the overall story without forcibly gearing the writing in that direction. Which means it could happen two episodes from now or two seasons from now. We just have to wait and see.

At the same time, Buck and Tommy are not an established couple yet. They’re going on their second date, and it’s been said Tommy isn’t in the last few episodes of the season. So it’s possible he and Buck are still together, but Lou isn’t a series regular nor regular recurring, so he’s just not contracted to be on set. Which is fine, but acting like a quick breakup is also bad storytelling is ridiculous.

Fans have hated Buck’s relationships with women from the jump, and him breaking up fast isn’t exactly new. So if it happens with the first man he dates… okay. Tommy can become more than a stepping stone, but the writers aren’t obligated to make his first experience with a man something deep and profound. It can be fun and eye-opening and still have mattered, even if it ends fast.

Y’all have got to let the stories play out, and not scream bloody murder if your headcanon doesn’t become canon. Because truth be told, Buck being canon bi is the biggest flex of fan service I’ve ever seen, even if I think it adds to the depth of him. So I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be sure not to continue giving that same group of fans everything they want outright, when there’s so much more story to unfold.

Which means they can’t just make Tommy the love of Buck’s life because Buck/Tommy fans have ditched Buddie or were never Buddie shippers, and want to be right. But they also can’t have Eddie come out and he and Buck start dating, because Buddie shippers have waited five seasons. Just wait to see what happens, and in the meantime, enjoy watching Buck discover more of himself. With Tommy as his current love interest, and Eddie as his best friend.

[inairthings]

911 y Buddie ❤️‍🔥

🇪🇸 - 🇬🇧

911 and Buddie

ESTE POST TIENE SPOILERS / THIS POST HAS SPOILERS

911 es una serie de bomberos, no es realista obviamente, es ficción y en ficción siempre se exageran las cosas aunque hayan tomado ideas de la vida real donde pasan cosas muy locas todos los días.

Uno de los puntos fuertes de esta serie es el BROmance entre dos de sus protagonistas, Eddie Díaz y Evan "Buck" Buckley, o Buddie, como los fans han decidido llamarlos, dos hombres que empezaron su amistad con mal piel pero que poco a poco fueron convirtiéndose en mejores amigos, hasta el punto de que Buck es una figura paterna para el hijo de Eddie, Christopher.

El tema está en la ENORME química que existe entre Ryan Guzmán, que interpreta a Eddie y Oliver Stark, que da vida a Buck, una química que obviamente han traspasado a sus personajes.

Leer más 👇🏻 - CONTIENE SPOILERS

🇬🇧 English 👇🏻 - CONTAINS SPOILERS

¿Y qué es lo que sucede?, que te los imaginas como pareja que pasa de ser una pareja de amigos a una pareja que es algo más, unos sentimientos que intuyes que están ahí y que quieres que se hagan realidad, pasar de BROmance a ROmance, y la prueba está en la cantidad de fanfiction, más de 23.000, que hay en la web Archive of Your Own o AO3.

Son seis temporadas esperando a que den el gran paso porque siendo sinceros interpretarían a una de las mejores parejas LGBT de la televisión, una con un apoyo brutal y también de las más bonitas, seis temporadas de tensión en las que hay situaciones de tensión brutales entre ellos y eso traspasó la pantalla gracias a esa química que existe entre ellos.

AQUÍ COMIENZAN LOS SPOILERS

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Y de repente en la Temporada 7 Buck sale del armario como bisexual, Tommy Kinard, un antiguo miembro del 118 e interpretado por Lou Ferrigno Jr, alias mi querido Rocker en SWAT, le besa, un beso que honestamente vi extraño, no me transmitió nada y en el próximo episodio tendrán una cita. Yo creo que ese es el primer paso para la relación romántica entre Eddie y Buck, y me gusta porque quiero que sea una relación que avance despacio y segura, no de una forma rápida.

¿Qué creo que podemos esperar de Buddie?

No sé cual de los actores dijo que veríamos a Buck y a Eddie más cercanos que nunca y creo que puede ser una pista, obviamente no pueden revelar lo que pasará pero si tuviera que decir una teoría tengo el presentimiento de que en un primer lugar la serie va a llegar a la Temporada 10 y que esa será la última temporada (espero que no, aunque prefiero un final bueno que no alargar la serie y darle un final malo). También que Buddie se resolverá al final del último episodio de la Temporada 7 y que se empezará a desarrollar ya en la Temporada 8 donde ya tendremos una pareja establecida y hasta el final de la serie.

Veremos lo que nos depara el resto de temporada, lo que está claro es que Buddie es muy real.

🇬🇧 English

911 is a firefighters tv show, it is obviously not realistic, it is fiction and in fiction things are always exaggerated even though they have taken ideas from real life where very crazy things happen every day.

One of the strong points of this series is the BROmance between two of its protagonists, Eddie Díaz and Evan "Buck" Buckley, or Buddie, as fans have decided to call them, two men who began their friendship in a bad and antagonist way, but they became best friends, to the point that Buck is a father figure to Eddie's son, Christopher, and he is in Eddie's will.

The issue is the HUGE chemistry that exists between Ryan Guzman, who plays Eddie, and Oliver Stark, who plays Buck, a chemistry that they have obviously transferred to their characters.

And what happens? You imagine them as a couple that goes from being a couple of friends to a couple that is something more, feelings that you sense are there and that you want to come true, going from BROmance to ROmance, they are very loved and the proof is in the amount of fanfiction, more than 23,000, that there are on the Archive of Your Own or AO3 website.

There are six seasons waiting for them to take the big step because to be honest they would play one of the best LGBT couples on television, one with brutal support and also one of the most beautiful, six seasons of tension in which there are brutal situations of unresolved tension between them and that crossed the screen thanks to that chemistry that exists between them.

SPOILERS BEGIN HERE

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And suddenly in Season 7 Buck comes out as bisexual, Tommy Kinard, a former member of 118 and played by Lou Ferrigno Jr, aka my dear Rocker in SWAT, kisses him (btw I don't feel anything with this kiss), and in the next episode they go on a date. We know Lou Ferrigno will be only un several episodes, so I think that is the first step for the romantic relationship between Eddie and Buck, and I like it because I want it to be a relationship that moves slowly and safe, not rushing.

What do I think we can expect from Buddie?

I don't know which of the actors said that we would see Buck and Eddie closer than ever and I think it could be a clue, obviously they can't reveal what will happen but if I had to say a theory I have a feeling that in the first place the series It's going to reach Season 10 and that will be the last season (I hope not, although I prefer a good ending to not lengthening the series and giving it a bad ending). Also that Buddie will be resolved at the end of the last episode of Season 7 and that it will begin to develop in Season 8 where we will have an established couple until the end of the series.

We'll see what the rest of the season has in store, what's clear is that Buddie is very real.

Yeah, Buddie❤️‍🔥 is Endgame

[maygrcnt]

been reflecting on the season a lot recently and on the topic of bucks bisexuality storyline, and i think ive come to the conclusion that theres maybe some catastrphization on the part of people who think the arc is horribly written, but also other people seem to be looking at it through rose tinted glasses and accepting anything given to them just because the storyline was such a long time coming. And i’ve had a hard time with figuring out why both sides of these takes just bother me so much so i sat down with my thoughts while work was slow and i rotated evan buckley in my mind until i had coherent thoughts

When it comes to the self discovery of it all i think that is probably the best thing the show did with the arc. episodes four and five were ultimately huge successes in my opinion on the topic of bisexuality. My main issue with this part of it is not specifically to do with the bi-ness of the storyline but the show in general. The show, showrunner, and Oliver want us to believe this storyline is different, that this is the one that finally changes everything, and I fully believe them in that being their intentions. However, they didnt show that to us well enough. The show has a glaringly cliche formula when it comes to buck and eddie love storylines that i used to think was intentional parallelism but now believe to be a writing rutt that they can't seem to break out of. They meet the partner, they have a romantic moment, something gets in the way of that romance, they meet up at a restaurant to “start over”. Ali, natalia, ana all follow this exactly and taylor sort of. its just tired? And the fact that this is exactly how buck and tommys relationship starts too just makes it so i cant convince myself that this is any different than before. Like i said i truly believe the writers thought they were pulling buck off the hamster wheel and the commentary outside the show tells me that he’s supposed to be doing something new, but they just can't escape their own romance formula enough to actually do it in the TEXT. and one thing about me is i think when it comes to TV, a viewer response lens is the most important way to analyze the story. the intention of the writer doesnt matter as much as the interpretation of the viewer because the average viewer of prime time television isnt reading tim minears interviews or listening to the podcasts oliver stark does, theyre tuning in at 8pm est and tuning out at 9. to conclude on the topic of bucks self discovery arc, i think it was done well. i think this is a general consensus, i feel like most people who think the storyline went sour still believe that episode four was done well at the very least

when it comes to the coming out of it all, this is one spot where i believe there’s some catastrophizing. the storyline had to choose carefully who got the long coming out scenes and i think it’s crazy to say that they chose wrong. do i wish there was a little bit of a longer beat with both hen and bobby about the storyline, yes absolutely. but i don’t think scenes with buck sitting down to formally come out to them would have been either necessary nor in character. bucks strongest canonical ties are to maddie, eddie, and bobby. two of which he never felt the need to come out formally to either by the way. i think a lot of people wanted to see more hesitation and fear from buck about his sexuality, but what they decided to show us instead was a man who realized something new about himself and immediately understood that the people around him were going to love and accept him no matter what. the only slip we see in this confidence is around eddie where… im trying to keep this analysis unbiased by non canon things so im not going to get into what i think of that but… in any sense bucks coming out moments were not about coming out at all but instead always about him being loved by his family. i rate this part of the storyline 10/10 because it all felt so natural and real for someone who has the support system and love that buck does (not saying it isn’t hard to come out even when people are supportive, just that i get why it wasn’t hard for buck). the storyline matched the character really well, but if they were to give the same easy breezy coming out arc to a character with the same backstory as say eddie then i would understand the want for more turbulence.

now the most polarizing part of the storyline for sure is the “established relationship” part of the season i guess you could call it lmao. my personal main complaint here is that we immediately lose any and all insight into the *new* of it all. if you want to make a big deal about this romance storyline being different than the other ones, you actually have to show us on screen what’s DIFFERENT about it. it doesn’t bother me so much on a relationship side of things because the relationship isn’t my personal cup of tea, but i think it would have been nice to see more scenes focused on the reasons this relationship is something new for buck. i’m not a tv writer, i honestly don’t have a suggestion for scenes that could have made this better for me. i think a tone thing is big part of it, if they lightened up tommy’s interactions with buck made him a little more flirty and lively it would have felt truly like a new relationship still in the phase of navigating a new dynamic rather than. well it doesn’t matter what i thought the relationship felt like by the end that’s not the point here. another place i feel like they could have put some more effort in is the bobby of it all, he was very preoccupied but their conversation felt stilted and not actually how i imagine it going. when it comes to the acknowledgment of bisexuality and newfound personal experiences i rate the end of the season: bad. i don’t think this was by virtue of the show not caring or wanting to portray the storyline anymore, but just by virtue of the entire end of the season being… kinda bad.

finally the finale, oh the finale… i swear im trying to come at this as unbiased as i can when i talk about the BT dinner scene but just know that i didn’t like it and that may bleed through. i think it was unfavorable of them to frame this scene the way they did. by having the scene start en media res and having us jump in to the dinner already in progress it feels disingenuous, because now im supposed to believe buck left the hospital, cooked an entire meal, set up a date, started eating and only THEN was the topic of bobby’s health brought up? it feels like this scene was written in a way that it would be for a well established long term couple, not a new relationship we’ve barely seen on screen. in this very scene is the first time tommy even learns what bucks relationship with bobby is like, this is very obviously not a deep connection yet so why are they being given the framework of it? the show is telling us that this relationship has gotten more serious without any proof and i find it very hard to believe them. i think there’s ONE simple change that makes this scene work 100x better and makes me feel like buck is actually settling into the relationship rather than having to take tim minear word for it: just start the scene with buck coming home to tommy! if buck is just getting home from the hospital it doesn’t feel as out of character because there’s less assumed time where buck is for some reason not worried about bobby, which he WOULD be don’t even try to tell me he’s not. and if tommy is already in bucks apartment when he comes home we learn so much about their relationship with such a small gesture. that buck feels comfortable with him there, that tommy feels comfortable alone there, that they spend time there often enough that tommy knows his way around. it just feels like this scene was written in good faith but the forgetfulness by the writers on the overall context of where this scene was in the episode created a strange tone in which i’m supposed to believe evan buckley would ever plan a romantic date night while bobby nash is literally comatose. thoughts on the bisexual storyline in the finale: no. i’m not gonna get into the daddy issues line of it all because that’s a lot more opinion based and it would make this like double length. ask me about it if you want i guess.

all in all, i think there’s … a lot that could have and should have been done differently in order to maximize the goals and effects that tim continuously told us he was trying to achieve. when it comes to carefully telling a story of late life sexuality discovery, i think they did well. when it comes to most other aspects, i think the ball was dropped. pls feel free to send messages or asks regarding this topic because i think im still developing thoughts on it and id love to have conversations regarding :)

[8musing]

Oh my god, Oliver Stark😭😭😭😭 Evan Buckley? BOFFUM😭😭😩😩

So Tommy has been reintroduced in the series and I was initially sad and annoyed for myself because now I have to see Buck with another love interest😩🙄😐 I’m possessive. I prefer when he’s single😐 but the smileeee he has for Tommy? Oh my godddddd. It could replace the sun and light up the whole solar system😩 they’re not even love interests yet😩 he’s admitted to his jealousy and vulnerability then seconds later is affirming Tommy and telling him how cool he is and how he liked him. IM FUCKING MELTING! CAN I PLEASE BE TOMMY😭😭😭 I have literally never wanted to be a fictional character, let alone a man this bad😭😭😭 I really don’t know how I’m gonna survive this. MAIGOT.

Something I’ve noted though. And I noticed this from the very beginning because it’s something I find off-putting. Buck never initiated any of his romances with women. Oliver Stark has said that he was playing Buck as bisexual from the beginning cause he just got those vibes, I guess. As a bisexual, I didn’t get any bisexual vibes😂😂😭 until Tommy. Granted, I knew him and Tommy would end up being lovers cause I stalked Oliver Stark but how Buck is around Tommy is totally different from how he was around Abby, for example.

To my point of Buck not being the initiator/chaser in the relationship: Abby was the one who would call him and check on him in the very beginning of the relationship. She showed interest in him and I say this with all the love I have, Buck loves attention😂 he’s definitely the type to string someone along just because he enjoys being the object of their affection.

Which he did, with Taylor. He knew he didn’t want to be in a relationship with Taylor from the beginning. He wasn’t acting like a man that has the hots for a woman. He was acting like… a curious man. And Taylor challenged him/they clashed which created an interesting dynamic. When they got into the committed relationship I was like “uh-uh. This ain’t it” but I thought it’s cause I was jelly😂 but when Taylor said she loves him, his facial expression wasn’t one of having someone you’re in love with tell you they love you for the first time. He seemed very surprised and happy with himself— validated. But I also got the sense that he was like “oh, I didn’t mean for it to go that far but… since we’re here.”

And when he kissed the other firefighter and invited Taylor to move in instead of telling her what he did???? Again. Not the action of a man in love.

Then there was the lady who was the death doula. She was the one who asked him out when they met. Generally, to me, she seemed more interested than he was. He was definitely interested but I think it’s cause he was fascinated with death and she was a death professional. It was funny to me when he said they ended the relationship because all she was interested in was death (and to me, his near death experience). Anyways, I don’t think she liked him either, I think she was interested in his complexity and transparency about it. She was also afraid of it. That’s a powerful combination of emotions that can make you get into a relationship with someone you’re not actually interested in as a person– I’ve done it before😂😂

With Tommy? It’s different. Very different. He is obviously very attracted to Tommy. More than that. He’s making it subtly clear. The body language is different. And he’s the one doing the pursuing for the first time ever.

I may be jumping the gun big time though, they literally just had their 2nd ever conversation when it’s just the two of them

#keep it a buck

[yeah-uh-the-pilot]

Ho postato 3.310 volte nel 2022

Sono 2.056 post in più del 2021!

258 post creati (8%)

3.052 post rebloggati (92%)

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@daughterofbuddie

@ttimbradford

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Ho taggato 2.767 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 16% dei miei post non aveva tag

#eddie diaz - 781 post

#evan buck buckley - 723 post

#buddie - 596 post

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Longest Tag: 136 characters

#(i know i’ve said it already but i will say it again - i got into 911 convinced that buck was gay so it’s nice to see that it wasn’t me)

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

Wait, I need to put my clown shoes on.

So.... Maddie saying "third time's the charm' about the romcom movie... Like Eddie has with Shannon, Ana, Bu-

(It definitely took Madney more than three 'times' to be together, so it's not like she was talking about herself)

And Buck saying "and it took me three times to get it right" like Abby, Ali, Taylor, Ed-

Am I crazy here? Probably.

73 note - Postate 21 settembre 2022

#4

One of the reasons why I love buddie is because of how Eddie looks whenever Buck is talking about something random (you know the look).

Because of all the trivia-knowing characters around, Buck is always listened to, always cared for by Eddie.

If I think about other characters like him - Sheldon Cooper, Spencer Reid, Temperance Brennan, just to cite a few - they’re mocked all the time for knowing stuff, even by their significant others.

But then you have Buck, talking about natural disasters, about the animals at the LA zoo, with Eddie right there looking at him fondly. And also picking up some trivia to talk about on his own.

This is love.

109 note - Postate 19 agosto 2022

#3

Let's make one thing very clear: just because it's two male characters being together, doesn't mean it's the same couple in different universes.

HENRY AND ALEX IS NOT THE SAME AS PATROCLUS AND ACHILLES, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

163 note - Postate 27 febbraio 2022

#2

So. We agree that

She

Is his

Guarda il post completo

274 note - Postate 24 giugno 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

The most emotional part about the Harry Potter reunion was Jason Isaacs and Tom Felton talking about Helen McCrory and. Tom saying how he looked up to her was really touching.

And also Jason saying that Draco is his hero.

I just… I just love them.

The happiest part was the one about Gary and Dan. Gary would have played Sirius for 15 years, I’m sure of it.

787 note - Postate 4 gennaio 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

[dreaming-of-stories-i-wont-write]

Hi, this is me!!

Hello and welcome to my account!!! I am a writer and I love romance! I do take requests for oneshots, series, and playlists! and my requests are open!! I do not write smut, incest, or mentions of rape, suicide, etc. Below are fandoms you can request for!! I write for male, nonbinary, and female readers! If they don't specifically say male! reader or female! reader than it will be gender neutral or nonbinary!! I also have a friend who will translate my work if needed ( they speak french, spanish, german is my native language, english, itallian, and a little bit of dutch! )

the fandoms i will make/write for are:

supernatural (season one to season fourteen, no spoilers!)

the characters include: dean winchester, sam winchester, castlel, jack kline, and the actors!

the ships include: destiel, sabriel, platonic jack x dean, platonic castle x jack

harry potter

the characters include: james potter, sirius black, remus lupin, lily evans, marlene mckinnon, ginny weasley, harry potter, hermione granger, luna lovegood, ron weasley, charlie weasley, bill weasley, george weasley, fred weasley, cho chang, cedric diggory, draco malfoy, pansy parkinson, neville longbottom, blaise zabini, narcissa malfoy, regulus black (male reader only bc that's my head cannon for him)

the ships include: lily, wolfstar, drarry, hedric, pansmione, harry x cho x cedric (poly), blairon, bleville, ronmione, linny

percy jackson (I'm only on the fourth book of hoo, no spoilers please!)

the characters include: percy jackson, annabeth chase, grover underwood, nico di angelo (male reader only), will solace, jason grace, piper mcclean, leo valdez, frank zhang, hazel levesque, clarisse la rue

the ships: percabeth, solangelo, jercy, valdangelo, frazel

skam (ive watched all of the remakes but will only write for original and germany, this might change later)

the characters include: nora sætre, jonas vasquez, isak valtersen (male reader only), christoffer schistad, evan næsheim, sana bakkoush (platonic only please), eva mohn, william magnusson

the ships: evak, nora x william, eva x chris, eva x nora

teen wolf

the characters: stiles stillinski, derek hale, issac lahey, scott mccall, lydia martin, allison argent, peter hale, theo raeken, liam dunbar

the ships: sterek, scissac, lydia x allison, thiam

stranger things

the characters: steve harrington, will byers (male reader only for personal headcannon), mike wheeler, eleven/jane hopper, dustin henderson, jonathan byers, nancy wheeler, robyn buckley (female reader only), max mayfield, lucas sinclair, joyce byers

the ships: byler, elmax, nancy x robyn, jonathan x steve

IT (2017)

the characters include: mike hanlon, ben hanscom, beverly marsh, richie tozier (male reader only), eddie kaspbarak, bill denbrough, stanley uris

the ships: reddie, stenbrough, mikeverly, benverly, mike x ben

marvel and x-men

the characters include: peter parker, steve rodgers, peggy carters, peter maximoff, pietro maximoff, wanda maximoff, charles xavier (young romantic or older platonic only), wade wilson, tony stark, bucky barnes, thor, loki, natasha romanoff, bruce banner, stephen strange (more that I'm probably forgetting tbh)

the ships: stony, parley, ironstrange, stucky,

dc

the characters include: conner kent, clark kent, jonathan kent, damian wayne, tim drake, bruce wayne, jason todd, dick grayson, selina kyle, barbra gordon, helena bertinelli, harley quinn, poison ivy, cassandra cain, kara danvers, mon-el, alex danvers (female reader only), oliver queen, barry allen, bart allen, wally west, miss martian/megan mores (more im not thinking of, just ask)

the ships: damjon, lena luthor x kara danvers, superbat, dick x wally

shameless

the characters include: carl gallagher, ian gallagher (male reader only), debby gallagher, lip gallagher, fiona gallgher, kev and vee (parental only!), mickey milchovich

ships: gallavich 

hockey

the people: nico hischier, connor mcdavid, johnny gaudreau

(there are more but its like 2:00 am rn where i live and I'm lazy as fck)

there are probably others I'm not thinking of, just ask please!!!

layout for this by @slow-dancing-with-myself​

[inawickedlittletown]

The Buckley’s - 4x04 meta

(This is almost 3k in length...and obviously spoilers)

The not so calm before the storm. This was not Buck Begins, but as a prelude to Buck Begins the feels evoked for one Evan “Buck” Buckley are already through the roof. How are we supposed to make it through next episode? 

And I want to focus on Buck and only Buck for a moment because burned in my mind is “love me anyway”. Oliver Stark delivered that line with so much agony and pain etched on his face, with such a despair because it was so clearly the one thing he’s wanted to say to them for a long time. I am so glad that he got to. That he’s at a point in his life where he can say enough is enough and stand up for himself and say what he feels. This has been the whole point of his therapy storyline, to get him to this moment where the pretending falls away and he’s just Buck, completely raw, the curtain drawn aside to display it all. 

I think the thing that gets me about Buck’s story here is that none of it is unusual or out of the ordinary. So many people grow up in homes where their parents are not good at being parents, with parents that don’t want to try at all, with parents that actively go out of their way to destroy their kids’ lives. There are so many forms of abuse and neglect and sometimes it doesn’t look like you think it should even when it is. Sometimes there are no physical signs of it, but it’s all internal leaving you with demons for the rest of your life. 

For a while we’ve been hearing from Maddie: “They’re not bad people, just bad parents” and I wonder if she actually believes it? I wonder if she wants to say it enough to make it true. Because she’s wrong. They are bad people. They are bad parents. To both Maddie and to Buck. 

Buck is quite literally only just holding himself together the entire episode from the moment that he learns that the parents are coming to visit. I think he loves Maddie too much to deny her much of anything, but he’s not happy with the blindsight from her. He decides that as long as he and Maddie are a “united front” they can do it and get through it. All of it is for Maddie’s sake because she’s the one that invited them and that wants this. If it were up to Buck, he wouldn’t be seeing them. He even says to Maddie that seeing them will mean he’ll need more therapy. 

In some ways, I am upset with Maddie. I’m upset that in all her worry about Buck finding out the secret that’s been kept from him, she doesn’t worry about hurting him more. From the moment that she decided to call her mom and let her know that Buck was in therapy, to the moment where she tells Buck they’re coming, none of what she’s doing is about protecting Buck or protecting the secret. It’s about her. And I don’t want to place blame on Maddie because it’s clear that she’s a victim here as well and that her reasoning isn’t sound but really does make things worse for Buck. I don’t know if Maddie expected them to tell Buck the truth or if her intentions were to figure out a way to tell him with them, but it just doesn’t make a lot of sense that she invites them to visit when the visit is just as stressful for her and leaves her feeling awful. Unless she had convinced herself that this visit was going to be different and she really was hoping to turn over a new leaf with them. 

Buck does deal with the situation by talking to Dr. Copeland and then he goes to the first dinner and right off the back it’s full of tension. Actually, the tension is there even before they arrive from everyone involved. And again, I question Maddie’s choices here. Immediately there is a lack of warmth in how they greet each other. Maddie does try and they seem almost fine at first with Maddie especially between their father and Maddie, but when it comes to Buck it’s on the awkward side. And then Albert calls Buck, Buck, and we see some displeasure from their mom. The whole nickname thing is kinda funny since everyone on the 118 seems to prefer nicknames, but it’s also this thing about respect/control in that any normal person, even if they don’t like nicknames, should respect what someone else wants to be called. I do appreciate that Chim just rolls with it and doesn’t make a fuss about being called Howard. 

In the next scene we find out that the Buckley parents drove to see them in an RV. Mr. Buckley says that statistically speaking it’s the safest way to travel at the moment and considering the pandemic he isn’t wrong, but it is an interesting choice. One made worse when Mrs. Buckley goes on to say that they couldn’t take any chances because of Maddie’s pregnancy. The whole interaction is just laden with shots at Maddie and the camera even goes to Albert for a “wow” because this is not normal behavior. Chim tries to play it off, but Buck tries to defend Maddie and Mr. Buckley brings up Doug and Maddie doesn’t want to talk about it. Her father doesn’t press and then jumps on Buck and him going to therapy and I hate it so much that Maddie didn’t give Buck the courtesy of letting him know that she told them he was seeing a therapist. Albert’s little frown and Chimney needing to get away to the kitchen says it all. But then the parents decide to let the kids in on how they actually went to therapy to talk about Maddie and Doug. 

I hated this moment for Maddie and how heartbroken she is to hear that they needed to have therapy for the trauma that she underwent. At the same time, though, they point out that she didn’t want to talk to them about it and I hate how the parents feel that Maddie should have put her own feelings and her own pain behind to make sure that they were okay after what she went through because that’s what they’re implying they wanted. And maybe this has been Maddie’s role in their lives from the age of nine. But the interesting thing to me is that Buck actually was the one to tell them about it and Buck says he didn’t want them to find out on dateline. In spite of everything, Buck still wanted them to hear about this from him than on the news, he gave them that courtesy. He cared enough to do that for them. 

After Albert and Buck go help Chim, Maddie is left with the parents. We find out that Mrs. Buckley is shocked to see that Buck isn’t broken and not okay. She doesn’t know what she expected, but she didn’t expect Buck to seem so okay. Maddie tells the parents that she thinks he’s better at pretending than they knew and I don’t get why Maddie thinks that they even needed to know that? Buck is just trying to get through this visit, he doesn’t need his parents wondering if he’s doing alright when they’ve never shown that they’ve cared before. I don’t know what Maddie is expecting from them by talking about Buck with them. It’s like she can’t comprehend that they don’t care or that they aren’t there to help Buck. 

The second dinner comes about after the call about the bomber and it’s clear that the Buckley’s have gotten the full story about what went down. Chim says something very poignant here in explaining what happened and why Sam did what he did: “he just needed someone to see him, someone to understand how much pain he was in” and if that isn’t what Buck’s needed all along. 

This conversation veers into Mr. Buckley bringing up Buck’s many hospital stays. “From what I hear, Evan’s spent quite a lot of time in hospitals,” he says and the phrasing is not ideal. And the interesting thing is that in the conversation leading into this both Buckley parents — mostly dad — seem concerned with the dangers of their jobs. There is a level of care for their well being, but they don’t express it well and they also haven’t managed to show it. Buck jumps in to tell them they couldn’t have come seen for themselves and the whole thing feels like an argument they’ve had before. Did Buck call them after any of his number of hospital stays and ask them to come just to have his mom say she doesn’t like hospitals? Because the way Buck says: “You’re uh, you’re not good with hospitals” seems like he’s just repeating what she’s said to him in the past. 

Mrs. Buckley says: “Not good seeing my children in them. You don’t know—” And this gives us a major clue. Daniel was either sick and in and out of hospitals or he died in one due to an accident. And I do wonder if in this moment Mrs. Buckley was about to just let the cat out of the bag and continue that sentence with a reference to what Buck doesn’t know or if she was going to give it away entirely. She doesn’t get to though because Maddie interrupts her and shakes her head and gives her mom this sad look like she understands that it’s hard for her. Buck looks between them with some suspicion but he doesn’t question it and Mrs. Buckley seems to remember herself and say nothing else. Again, I have to ask, Maddie what was the point of all of this? And this moment just screams out to me that Maddie really did not intend to tell Buck about Daniel. 

The subject is changed by Mr. Buckley who asks about the box they brought for Maddie. Her baby box. And oh my god was this part of it painful to watch. In part because you can tell that Maddie is touched by seeing it, but even more because Buck who gets excited by the little things wonders when he’ll get his and he asks like there must be an answer, like obviously if Maddie gets one he does as well because he’s also their child. Their non-answer is answer enough. Chim saves the awkward moment, kind of, but it lingers on them because suddenly there’s this big gap between him and Maddie. She gets a baby box. He doesn’t. No one explains why.

Maddie is surprised they kept that stuff and I don’t know if it’s because of the death of Daniel or because of the way they cut her off due to her choice to marry Doug, but Maddie is clearly touched that they kept that for her. Yes, she’s not happy with their commentary about her mistakes and about why they felt they couldn’t show her support, but Maddie does not once try to defend herself. She doesn’t even want Buck to. But Buck’s had enough and not even for his own sake but for Maddie. Buck says, “maybe you never gave up hope. You sure as hell gave up on her” and that is the truth. Buck really does see them for what they are. He sees the pain they’ve caused Maddie and he sees what they are even when Maddie tries to stop him from saying anything at all. And I don’t know if Maddie is just trying to make the visit go peacefully or if she really doesn’t want conflict, but again it becomes a question of Maddie, why did you invite them?

But Buck stands up for himself. He tells them how he felt — how he’s felt his whole life and instead of taking what he’s saying and trying to apologize or make some attempt at explaining themselves, the Buckley parents ask Buck what he expected from them as if the idea of being a supportive, caring parent is so far removed from them. Mom even goes on to place blame on them for being difficult as if the two of them as children were too much for them to handle. Buck puts it very simply. “Love me anyway.” And it just hits so damn hard. 

The next day, Buck has already filled in Eddie on what happened and he’s still angry about it. There’s no way to tell if he’s talked to his therapist about it, but from what he’s muttering about telling his parents how he feels, it does seem that he at least discussed things with Dr. Copeland before the dinner and that he did want to attempt a “fresh start”. Eddie is absolutely wonderful in this scene. He’s supportive, validating, and he is there in this almost quiet kind of way that just wants to be whatever Buck needs. I think Buck needed to hear someone tell him he didn’t need to apologize to his parents and I think it means a lot coming from Eddie. Also, it’s fun to see Eddie giving Buck advice like this when Eddie is not exactly the best with expressing himself. And Buck has come very far. Buck’s anger and his disappointment and even his guilt for what happened is completely out in the open. He talks to Eddie and even if it happened off screen, we’re aware that Eddie knows everything and that he’s in Buck’s corner in a way that Maddie isn’t. 

Because while Buck and Maddie’s approach to the visit was to say they would have a “united front” and it starts off that way, they slowly stop being that the longer the parents are around. Maddie tries so hard to make everything go peacefully without conflict no matter what the parents are saying and she doesn’t hesitate to be open with them except that we don’t see her talk about herself with the parents, we see her talk about Buck. Buck on the other hand tries to keep things peaceful, but he’s grown up and he can stand up for himself and he can speak out and say what he feels. And he needed to. Maddie needed to as well, but she’s not there. And in the aftermath of Buck yelling at the parents, she is worried about him and calling him constantly and I do love how much they love each other, but again I just can’t help but feel like Maddie brought this on them. 

We get one final scene with Buck and Maddie. Buck does apologize to her and tells her he’s embarrassed by what happened. Maddie tells him she doesn’t need him to defend her and yet I think everyone knows that she did because at no point did she make the effort to do so. Not to mention that it is her own doing that placed them both in this situation in the first place. 

Buck begins to look through Maddie’s baby box and he comes across the picture of Daniel. Taken in 1988, four years before Buck was born, it’s a picture of a boy on a bike. We don’t know how old he is or when he died or anything about the circumstances and I think we will drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out the math, but Buck has found the picture and Maddie tells him who it is. The secret is out. 

I do feel for Maddie. I feel for everything that she’s been through and how her parents speak to her, I feel for her having to carry the burden of such a secret. I feel for her when I think about how much she loves Buck and how despite everything she still turned out to be a lovely human being that cares about people and that intends to be a better mother to her daughter. I don’t think she handled any of this well, but I also don’t place the full blame on her because it all begins with the Buckley parents and their many failings and mistakes. And it will never make sense that both of their living children are such good people. But, Buck did not deserve to have to see them when he didn’t want to. He didn’t need this hurled into all the work he’s done with his therapist. And, he certainly didn’t need to find out he’s been lied to this entire time by not just his parents but his sister as well. I’m just glad that Buck does have a found family in the 118 and that he has somewhere to land and people that care and that he isn’t alone.

[corgiqueen14]

I posted 1,580 times in 2021

50 posts created (3%)

1530 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 30.6 posts.

I added 147 tags in 2021

#buddie - 25 posts

#911 spoilers - 21 posts

#anti ana flores - 21 posts

#evan buckley - 19 posts

#buckley diaz family - 13 posts

#911 fox - 12 posts

#my asks - 10 posts

#my inbox - 10 posts

#eddie diaz - 8 posts

#911onfox - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 79 characters

#and it would have made just as much sense for it to just be eddie and hen there

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

So I have a really crazy theory but bear with me.

You may have heard that Minear said there’d be a storyline involving a wedding. And a number of people started worrying about it being Eddie and Ana’s wedding.

But what if it was Eddie and Buck’s?

Hear me out:

Let’s say Eddie and Ana break up after the Carla dinner in 4x13. Let’s then say Eddie gets injured or has an accident at work at the end of that episode or the beginning of the next one.

Eddie’s parents call, talking about how he’s putting himself in danger and isn’t good for Chris. Eddie realizes if anything happens to him his parents get Chris and they’ll take him from LA. Eddie wants Chris to be with someone who loves him and who better than Buck?

Cue them getting married at the courthouse so Buck can adopt Chris. And since they have to try and make it seem real, Buck would move in with Eddie to make it convincing! Which could be what the 911 Twitter account was getting at when they were all “hint hint” when someone joked Buck should move in with Eddie. When you put it all together it makes a small amount of sense.

I think it’s a long shot but it could happen. I also think if it does happen I’m gonna go buy a lottery ticket the next day lol.

What do you guys think?

32 notes • Posted 2021-04-23 00:26:02 GMT

#4

This is not gonna be classy but

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.

Bye Ana! You will not be missed

35 notes • Posted 2021-10-05 01:00:47 GMT

#3

Wait. So the “great” was about buck and taylor?

Why the hell was it in the Buck and Eddie video?

Is it meant to be like “oh he and Taylor are just friends so he and Eddie can be more?”

911 writers, I HAVE QUESTIONS

52 notes • Posted 2021-05-11 01:03:40 GMT

#2

GUYS

Don’t worry about Eddie and Ana.

He literally gave her the same kiss he gave his grandmother.

They are heading to an end.

I can’t see them continuing past like maybe the beginning of season 5.

*Edit*: also notice how he didn’t expect Ana to be taking care of Chris even though she’s his girlfriend?

Yep. This isn’t gonna last

56 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 01:20:56 GMT

#1

WAIT GUYS

I have a theory.

We’re all freaking out over the L word, I know, but let’s dissect.

It’s pretty well established that the song choices in 911 are pretty significant.

So why, when buck and Taylor are saying those three important words, would “last dance” be playing?

Let’s look at the lyrics.

“I can’t be sure you’re the one for me, but all I ask is that you dance with me”?

“Let’s dance this last dance tonight”?

Could it be that Buck and Taylor danced their last dance tonight?

That plus the mysterious insta stories of Oliver Stark today make me think that this isn’t the doom and gloom we all think it is.

I think that something else will happen to cause the end of bucktaylor, and it’ll be soon.

67 notes • Posted 2021-11-30 02:22:38 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[cinematicnomad]

hello love please choose: evan buckley or stiles stilinski?

ohhhhhHHHHH. i think?? probably stiles. i mean, for one thing, i've adored him for almost a literal decade now. i also just love?? his need to research and get involved in investigations and how he uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism and is always suspicious of everyone he meets. and then like, aesthetically, while dylan o'brien and oliver stark are both attractive, i do have a thing for guys with dark hair AND i think dylan has a wider range than oliver when it comes to acting.

(also this is v random but?? oliver is a month older than me and dylan is a month younger than me and i find that WILD bc in my brain they are both wildly different ages from each other and from me instead of all of us being on the cusp of 30).

also fanfic-wise, i have more genre options w/ stiles bc of the v nature of stiles originating from a supernatural series. w/ buck i really limit myself to reading canon-compliant fics and don't venture into AU territory that often. and since i've been in the tw fandom longer, i have a greater pool of fics centered on stiles than buck.

and shipping-wise, as much as i love buckxeddie and the little makeshift family they've made with christopher, there really is something to stiles and derek saving each other from their loneliness and angst and for all the blood and horror between them finding something beautiful.

✨sleepover weekend✨

[himbo-buckley]

INTIMACY, SEX AND BUDDIE (BETTER KNOWN AS I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS SHOW, SOME OF WHICH ARE RELATED TO THE BEFORE MENTIONED TOPICS) - Part 3

Well, hello there (again)!


I got to say, this was both my favourite and least favourite part to write because by now all my theories are (hopefully) explained enough that I can just ramble about the characters and connections and ya’ll will forgive me if I stray away from what’s actually happening in this episode. Which I will do. A lot actually.

On the other hand side I have so many thoughts about what’s happening and this is gonna be long af as I started writing on part three at the same time as I wrote part 1 and 2 and I barely found things to cut, which means we are clocking in at a casual 7700 words. So maybe get that drink now, cause it’ll be a ride!

Also the links to part one and part two

And look, by now you probably know the drill but I’m just gonna give you my preface again:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FOUR parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season and is organised by episode so you could technically follow along, but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 has already exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in two (this is part three, the cut will happen after Christmas, it works storyline-wise)

And now, for our next instalment of I read too much into things: Season 3A (also called: „Eddie Diaz, stop being such a boy scout (Wait, no, not like that!)“)

Episode 3.01:

911 as a show has a fairly interesting way of storytelling where it sometimes feels a little like they cut together snapshots of lives in regards to certain topics. And because of that you only ever see a small part of the lives of the characters. That being said: I hate hate hate how 5 months passed between the Season 2 final and the first episode of Season 3 and aside from a few offhand remarks we get virtually nothing. Also it’s very unrealistic that Bobby and Athena didn’t have any parties for 5 months, like nope, I don’t believe you show!

That being said, I appreciate how much time it took Buck to heal because it’s realistic! And also most importantly gets Oliver Stark a chance to truly shine!

I wanna take this chance real quick, to thank the producers and writer both for writing Evan Buckley the way they write him and for casting Oliver Stark to play him because omg, it works so well! Look, Oliver Stark is attractive. He is buff and handsome, but he is not perfect. He is Tinder-buff, not MCU-I haven’t seen a drop of water in a month-buff, he’s the kind of fit that will fill the whole screen one minute and make you say „Wait, I thought he was wider than this!“ the next (you know how everyone always talks about the hips to shoulder ration of Chris Evans? Yeah, the opposite of that) . And he has a really pretty face but his nose is a little too cocked and he has scars and there’s the „adorable facemark“ and he seems so damn dorky which is exactly why Evan „Buck“ Buckley works, why he is hot. And he gets to be emotional and sensitive and caring on top of that and yeah, I don’t know if I wanna be him or date him anymore either. Like he singlehandedly made me rethink my view on dating, just because I am hoping for someone like him.

Anyways, that’s probably something none of you wanted to read about in a META so we’ll get to the juicy stuff now, alright?

One thing that I realised as I watched season 3 for the third time just now is how often it repeats itself. It feels a bit stagnant at times, the way the characters make two steps forward and one step back all the time, most notably in Bobby.

I wanna talk about Bobby for once because you can not look at Buck in Season 3 without looking at Bobby as well. These two characters are connected the same way Buck is connected to Eddie. Most things Buck does character wise in Season 3 are caused by Bobby’s actions, in the same way most of Eddie’s are caused by Buck.

And the thing that 3.01 tells us from the get go? Bobby thinks of Buck as somewhat of a son (which we knew already) and Bobby sees himself in Buck, which is why he does what he probably hoped someone would have done for him the 10 or something years ago when he hurt is back and holds him back. There is also the fact that he tries to teach Buck to have a life outside the firehouse, though that is something he probably should at some point in the near future actually voice to Buck, because Buck on his own can not draw these conclusions from Bobby’s actions. Buck on his own thinks it’s about him not being good enough and so he works himself to the bone to try and proof otherwise. (Someone please just finally tell him what a good boy he is? Yeah?)

As for the scene during the party, you could actually see how much Buck had to force himself to be that open and that vulnerable with Bobby (and not just because he is *literally* having an embolism) and that hurts because to this day Buck has not realised that Bobby will always be there to catch him. Buck still thinks he needs to proof himself to Bobby because of his firing in Season 1. And would you believe I actually cried a little typing these words?

And now I’m gonna talk about my agenda, also known as Buddie real quick, and point you toward the fact that while we have seen Eddie be vulnerable with Buck and Buck be vulnerable with everyone else we have not seen Buck be audibly vulnerable with Eddie and I do not think this is a coincident at all.

Look, Eddie is a guarded guy, right? He has a hard time being vulnerable, a hard time asking for help, a hard time giving up control. But he does all these things with Buck and he does them willingly and with barely an outside push, which is different to say with Bobby. Eddie let’s himself fall with Buck and by doing so raises Buck’s self worth and gives him the feeling of being in control Buck craves so much (while Eddie sort of despises it because he feels like he always has to be the one in control), but it also means that Buck is afraid to let himself fall with Eddie because it might mean Eddie won’t trust him again. Buck generally is a very emotional guy and he doesn’t seem afraid to voice his weaknesses, in fact he is probably too aware of them and too willing to let others poke at them, except with Eddie. With Eddie Buck always tries for strong, because he knows Eddie needs him to be and because he thinks, if he’s not, Eddie will see what everyone else saw and leave him. On Eddie’s side I do think by now he is more than willing to catch Buck and still let himself be caught in return. At least at this point.

(also, if we do ever get Buddie I could see a reverse of the Shannon-Eddie situation happening where Eddie is the one being open and Buck has a hard time being emotionally vulnerable, afraid it’ll scare Eddie off and he’ll leave like everyone else.)

But then, one could also point out that Eddie probably knows all the things going on with Buck anyways because I truly think they know each other inside out and are two feathers of the same bird and same recognises same and all that - it’s just that Buck is someone who needs to actually voice his feelings to deal with them, so unless he voices his vulnerabilities to Eddie, for him, the other guy doesn’t know them. (Except Eddie does know.) (and man, I wish the rest of the 911 would finally figure out that with Buck you always - always - have to say things! You can’t just imply. You can’t think your actions speak loud enough. You need to actually use your words and do so in a way that leaves no doubt because that boy thinks so little of himself and he will make himself doubt every nice thing that ever happens to him.)

Now, moving back to what’s actually happening in the episode and why all of this is important:

We have the very important talk in the Station were text points out some of the things I just said and Eddie realises that he needs to do better, so he pulls a Buck and steamrolls him. (also do we truly believe that Carla was out of the country? Do we? Do we not think Eddie spent the whole ride over coaching his son on lying to his best friend because Eddie is just like that?)

Also I love how before this Maddie is talking to Josh and she says something along the lines of wether she should push Buck or coddle him and it cuts to Eddie trying the first.

On Eddie’s side of this meta we somewhat learn where Eddie’s issues stem from and it’s of course Daddy issues because this show loves them very much. (Seriously, out of 5 firefighters 3 have confirmed absent fathers causing issues and one has it heavily implied. Tim Minear, do you wanna talk?)

Also, Ramon Diaz probably threw in a „real men don’t cry“ with his macho speech about just brushing shit off and thereby emotionally crippling his child further, because he seems cliche like that.

Sidenote: The Buck and Christopher relationship is so beautiful and important and „Some cool outfits, too.“ is one of my favourite lines, though I do have to say - as someone who works professionally with kids - that this is what really shows how much Eddie truly thinks of Buck and how much he trusts him because it’s safe to assume that Buck has never been alone with Christopher or any child for longer and has never had to take care of one by himself and yet Eddie just trusts him to take care of his son for what is probably a 24h shift. Truly magnificent. An unparalleled relationship. So meaningful.

Episode 3.02:

No actual relevance but I do wanna point out that the thing about the mom being the love of boat guys life but her son being her’s? Yeah, that’s Eddie (and Buck).

Also, Buck’s just a natural at being a dad (not because of the fun stuff but the stuff when he knew exactly how to distract Christopher when those bodies floated by) and at some point I need Eddie to point this out to him and I need him to voice his jealousy about it, because Eddie? Not a natural dad.

(I actually think that is something that is true about a lot of things for these two. I mean yes, Buck is a hard worker but I think only in areas he is already naturally gifted (remember that whole thing with the Seals? “You just have to be badass, which I am?”) and he generally doesn’t try if things don’t come naturally because Buck hates failure because Buck already feels like a failure. Meanwhile Eddie seems like the kind of guy who has this huge capacity for learning, so even if something doesn’t come naturally to him (like fatherhood) he has the determination and willingness to try and try again until he finally gets it right and is perfect because Eddie, too, hates failure.) (And now I wanna see more about their childhoods because I could actually see Buck be somewhat of a gifted child in his youth who never learned how to actually apply himself and because of that has always been told he had so much wasted potential while Eddie was either an overarchiver or a slacker, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules. Or maybe I am projecting.)

Episode 3.03:

I read somewhere on tumblr that Ryan Guzman and his wife thought Eddie and Lena would be a thing and where actually on board and I was like? No?

I mean I do love the way she takes one look at him and decides he needs his ego checked (and also Eddie is like: ui, me like-y! (maybe because he misses another person that used to be an asshole to him right off the bat?)).

Also love all the references to Eddie being in the army („The 118 is huffing it“-scene comes to mind). Again, kudos to Ryan Guzman for always acting with all his body, because you can always feel the army training in his posture like the way he usually stands just a little bit straighter than everyone else (well, at least that’s what it looks like to me, someone who has not been in the Army and knows only like two people that got drafted and no one who went willingly, because my country generally doesn’t do that these days ).

As for what is happening in the episode, I think it’s a reference to Shannon that Eddie dealt with that couple that, despite loving each other a lot and getting along fairly well, decided to get divorced. Which is what 911 should have done with Shannon. (Me being salty about Shannon? It’s more likely than you think.)

I also think it’s a nice parallel the way both Lena and Buck are so desperate to search for their missing loved one with no regard for their own safety and I’m assuming Eddie saw Buck in Lena’s actions as well, which is why he trusts her so fast. (Because Eddie just like Buck is looking for connection and intimacy but Eddie is even worse at creating it than Buck, so he just tries to recreate the one working bond he truly has.) (Something actually proven in text by Eddie: becoming a firefighter because he misses the army.)

And I know everyone and their mother has already pointed out how Eddie was not worried about Chris at all because his son was with Buck and he knows Buck would never let anything bad happen to his son ever.

Which is why *that* scene is even more heartbreaking, because Eddie has so much trust in his Buck and kudos to Ryan Guzman because man, the way you see Eddie steel himself for what Buck is saying? The way you can feel him pulling himself together because Buck needs him to hear this. (Look, the scene is about a father learning from the person he trusts most in the world that his son might be dead and they could have easily forshadowed Eddie’s fighting ark by having him react negatively and violently here but instead he stays calm because it’s Buck and Buck for once needs him to be the one in control - also, on a less ship-y note because Eddie’s world is falling apart right there and he needs to keep in control because if he doesn’t, he will probably never be again.)

Which brings us to that scene in the loft, and listen, I know I said at the end of part 2 Eddie barely had any character development in the two seasons since we met him, but uhm, this scene? Proves he had some development, because right then right there he is so fucking vulnerable with Buck. It is of course part of him being a protector because just like with Shannon in 2.04 he realises that this is was Buck needs him to be right now, so vulnerable it is.

I do think however that it’s beautiful how Eddie apparently took the time during a fucking natural disaster to figure out that Evan Buckley needs him to use his actual words, so use his actual words he does.

And I do wanna point out that this is something he never had with Shannon, Eddie was never able to figure out what is wife of what? 7-8 years needed of him but he does know what his best friends needs. And wether that is just Buddie or just plain old character development, remains to be seen.

(Though we should mention that it wasn’t a permanent thing, Eddie does fail Buck a few times in Season 3 (but he also doesn’t a few other times) but we’ll get to that when we get to that!)

Also, honourable mention to Maddie Buckley-Kendall for getting that phone call and probably nearly dying of a heart attack and then having to race to the VA thinking the worst and probably imagining her very selfless brother either being already gone by the time she gets there or close to dead - only to probably arrive there and see Christopher in a bed with Eddie sitting next to him and Buck sitting vigil a few feet away because he doesn’t think he deserves to be with the Diaz’s anymore but he also can’t bear to part from them!

And another mention to the poor stranger who probably never got their phone back.

Also a teeny bit mad they forgot to give Oliver scars on his legs.

Episode 3.04

First of all I gotta say Eddie is such a boy scout goody two shoes with his whole „Well, it’s mandated!“ (also he’s been probably hanging out with Buck a buncha times in whatever many weeks passed since the Tsunami and  therefore knew how hard his best friend worked on this and he’s gonna be supportive, kay?)

That being said, remember when I talked about two steps forward, one step back? Yeah, that.

As for the lawsuit, look, we could argue all day on wether it was justified or not, but I personally do think Buck had a basis. But he was also acting rash and hadn’t thought all the implications through and should have used his words instead, but quick reminder: Buck has severe abandonment issues and he has problems with emotional intimacy - so the whole talking about it? Not that easy.

Also, imagine working for months to come back to work, the one thing you think you’re good at and thinking you have everyone’s support only to find out the person you love like a father has betrayed you, probably with the knowledge of everyone else. Yeah, you’d lash out too!

Even though, I have to point out it’s not his normal MO (which is why we see him regret it almost immediately in the next episode).

As for Eddie in this episode, he has not one, not two, not three, but four whole conversations about feelings! You go buddy-boy. Embrace that character development! Don’t take a step back! … or, nevermind, we all know what happens next.

That being said I think it’s interesting that while Chimney clearly confides in him, Eddie does not confide in him in return but rather talks to female!Buck. I mean, talking about his struggles with his son and his family worked with him and Buck so why not with him and Lena (cause Lena isn’t Buck).

I do think Eddie and Chimney are close, but Eddie just doesn’t feel the same connection to him as he feels to Buck.

As for Eddie being so beautifully open and vulnerable with his son and saying like the exact opposite of what he had been taught: Eddie loves his son. He loves his son more than anything in the world. And if Eddie can’t let himself be vulnerable with him, who can he be vulnerable with? Especially when it helps Christopher.

(Also, Eddie by now recognises what is wrong with him, he just doesn’t think he can change it but he can prevent it from happening to his child.)

Episode 3.05:

This episode has a lot of shit happening and I have a lot of thoughts, most of which are relevant to the episode. But we’re gonna start slow, ease you in:

Boy do I love overprotective Dad!Eddie! How long do you think did it took Carla and Christopher to convince Eddie to let Chris sleep over at his friends? A month?

In other news Buck is just the picture of regret during the deposition and yeah, he should be. The whole thing is harsh. Never sue your friends, no matter how justified, if you want them to stay your friends! But it’s so obvious Buck didn’t know it was gonna go down this way because he did not think this through at all.

First off: Remember how in part 2 I said Buck and Eddie’s storylines were connected and how earlier I said Buck was the catalyst for Eddie like Bobby was for Buck?

Yeah, that’s the episode for all of this.

It’s not as obvious as in Season 2 because usually it happens over two episodes but it’s no coincident that after last episode Bobby triggered that shift in Buck, Eddie is now suddenly careering out of control as well - it’s because Buck is his catalyst, his *trigger*.

Please watch 3.04 and 3.05 back to back and tell me Eddie doesn’t make a 180 between those episodes. He goes from worried about his son to punching people in parking lots. What changed? Well, he could no longer talk to Buck. And Buck is his anker and his catalyst, the one person he doesn’t have to be in control with (which he really could use considering what he is going through with Christopher). And when you take that away he spirals. (Also there is the deposition where his best friend betrays him by talking about his dead for less than a year - wife, a topic Eddie has been avoiding in regards to his feelings since … well, the day it happened, probably.)

And I’m not saying the whole street fighting thing wouldn’t have happened if Eddie wasn’t such a boy scout and said, screw the chain of command and just called Buck to bail him out, but that’s what I’m implieing.

Also the scene between Eddie and Lena, I mean, I’ve already talked about it somewhere else but I do wanna point you to the way it is phrased: Eddie „wasn’t allowed“ to call Buck. Meaning he wanted to. But you know: Boy Scout.

Now, let’s talk about the grocery store fight because I have so many thoughts!

And what I love about these two episodes, as well as the next one, is that they show both the connection Buddie has as well as the contrasts between them:

One of the biggest differences in Buddie is how they deal with fear and obstacles and it is visible throughout all their lives and specifically these three episodes.

Evan Buckley is a force of nature, he is a fighter, he sets a goal and he reaches this goal with a single minded focus, steamrolling through everything in his way until he reaches said goal. Just look at the lawsuit and remember how his original plan was to get everyone to sign a letter of support for him.

When something frightens him, Buck doesn’t run away he runs right into it, tries to destroy it or be destroyed. He fights. And if that doesn’t work, he finds a way around the problem, but always going head to head with the thing because Evan Buckley is very determined and very self destructive.

Just look at the way he held onto Abby for nearly a year after she had left: Instead of dealing with his feelings of abandonment and the fact that the woman he loved left him, that boy dug his heel in and fought tooth and nail to keep what little he had left of her, of them. Refused to acknowledge being left for months. And when he finally leaves he literally compares himself to a ghost, because you know, he is just an empty shell at this point.

It’s also why he falls so hard for Ali because he is just desperately looking for something to cling to and so he transfers all those un-dealt feelings onto her and then he get’s hurt and his problems become bigger and different and Ali can’t deal - not surprising considering they had barely a foundation. They just went from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds and that just never works out, unless you’re in a very expensive sports car.

I also truly think at times Buck hides behind the loud mouthed, dumb adrenaline junkie persona he got going on as it keeps people from looking deeper, because Buck is very scared they won‘t find anything deeper - or worse, decide they don’t like what they see (and hey, he even got that confirmed by Ali leaving! and Abby! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY MADDIE!).

(Which, to push an agenda real quick, is why I ship Buddie so hard? Because they do have a foundation, they have been emotionally intimate with each other, they’ve seen the worst of each other and still went: I’m gonna have your back. And they have pulled a lot of shit on each other in the two years since meeting! Like, I’m sorry 911, I love you, but please never try and tell me they will have a deeper connection with anyone but each other because it’ll be a damn lie and you know it! If you don’t wanna do Buddie, let those boys get emotionally healthy and THEN give them an endgame but don’t try and replace Buddie with Loveinterests. I’m serious. I might stop watching!)

Eddie meanwhile is much more open with his feelings in the sense that he is less open in general so it’s far more noticeable when something is bothering him *because* he is subtle about it. Because Buck is so loud and so open and all about what you see is what you get, you don‘t assume he is hiding anything because you already see everything, right? (Always hide the real shit in plain sight, you guys, that‘s where no one remembers to look!) But Eddie, Eddie keeps his cards close. Sure he is funny and nice but he is also fucking reserved! And when something bothers him he draws into himself even more and that’s something that shows, that people will take notice of.

Eddies reaction to bad things (also known as *feelings*, because that boy is fucking repressed) happening is running away. And I am not saying he is a coward, I am saying he probably thinks he is and I am saying he runs away from his problems - that’s what 3.15 was about for Eddie: embracing his family (his vulnerabilities) and from what I‘ve seen in the last few days floating around in spoiler *now* Eddie has to learn to face his problems and not run away.

Which will be hard because Eddie deflects a lot.

It‘s funny (in a way that is not funny) that Buck, the fighter, is like the least aggressive guy around while Eddie, Mr quiet and reserved, who is all about running away from his problems, is so physically aggressive - except it is not and makes a lot of sense.

Season 3 truly shows how they deal with problems and I love it, I love them and this show so much!

Because Buck deals with the bombing by working tirelessly to come back to work, he deals with losing Christopher by nearly killing himself trying to find him and he deals with his fear of being replaced by filing the lawsuit to get his job back - which is also why I have to agree with Eddie: Buck truly has a one track mind. He sees the problem and nothing else. That makes him an amazing firefighter but an exhausting guy to be around because he does not give up.

I think in canon we only ever see Buck give up twice, maybe three times once with Abby and once with Christopher, both times he nearly killed himself first. (And one could argue that neither of these times he actually gave up, he was just out of options and time.) Tbh the only actual time he gave up was with Ali and that was probably his one track mind just not having any capacity to deal with a girlfriend on top of everything.

Eddie meanwhile deals with his wife dying and his best friend nearly dying twice and his son being traumatised and his best friend not being allowed back to work and his best friend filing that lawsuit by ... not dealing with it. He just moves on. Runs away from his feelings and his pain by fighting. He can’t deal with - can’t fight - his actual feelings so he fights something else. He lashes out. Becomes feral. That’s literally the gist of this episodes voiceover!

So tbh as much as I like that they resolved that lawsuit within one episode I am a bit bummed that we hardly saw anything of the 118 and especially Eddie without Buck there (specifically during his fighting time) mainly because I think we would have seen Hen and Chimney with Cap and Eddie maybe with Lena but generally keeping his distance, hiding away from them. (I don’t think Eddie just brushing past Buck in 3.06 was just about Buck.)

I truly meant what I said about 2.01 and Eddie taking one look at Buck being an asshole and deciding this one is gonna be his friend. Because while Hen and Chimney have been nice and friendly with him from the get go, they never give him shit the same way they give each other or Cap or Buck, and Eddie needs that. He needs someone who isn’t afraid to call him out and push back, both to get Eddie out of his own head and to make him feel comfortable enough to do the same. Which is why he bonded so fast with Buck and Lena (also, would he have bonded with her like that if Buck had been there? Probably not. Eddie is like the definition of „I only have the emotional capacity to care about three people at a time and two of them are my son“), because both held him accountable for his shit, which no one else on the show does, specifically not Hen and Chimney who treat Eddie as the guy who is good at most things so they just overlook the shitty stuff. And Cap does the same, because Eddie has a lot on his plate and Cap understands his issues better than anyone else’s. 

Ya‘ll just need to watch the supermarket scene! It‘s all there!

Buck is in the store trying to create a moment so he can talk to all of them (meaning he is pushing, leaning into the problem until it gives), tries to make the problem go away by apologising (remember what I said about trying another way? Working hard didn’t work. Accepting his predicament didn‘t work. The lawsuit didn’t work. So now he tries talking it out - which he should have done to begin with, but hey, I’m not his therapist (sadly)) (It’s too bad it only worked to a certain level as we saw in the next episode but oh well, that’s actually realistic.)

Meanwhile Eddie has none of it because Eddie is currently running away from his problems so he can’t have his problem stand in front of him buying cat laxatives. So Eddie goes feral, and makes it all about Buck and his mistakes and then throws Christopher under the bus because that man is fighting for his life and he has nothing left to loose!!! I truly love this scene so much, you guys. It’s so revealing about these characters.

(I also shouldn’t have to point out that most of the stuff Eddie said to Buck was about Shannon, right? He was saying the things he was feeling about Shannon and he was throwing them at Buck because Buck was the one who brought it up, but also … look, it’s just ship-y from here all right?)

As for what I said about Hen, Bobby and Chimney in regards to Eddie? I know Chimney made some remarks but come on! Had it been any of them or Buck who yelled at someone like that they would have all interrupted and tried to diffuse the situation. But because it’s Eddie they sort of let it happen. (Also tbh because it’s Eddie and Buck and everyone is a little mad at Buck but they are something different to each other.)

Also, not to push my agenda, can we just talk about how comfortable  Eddie has to be with the 118 but especially Buck, how much he has to care, to scream at him like that? Because he is reserved and he always tries to let go of his feelings and he hides so much. And I know part of it is that Eddie is coiled too tight already and about to burst but it’s also about Buck and the fact that Eddie expected better from him because Eddie has such a high opinion of him. Like sure he gives him shit sometimes but I think it’s because Eddie always expects the most of Buck (and Buck rarely lets him down). (And now I did go all ship-y)

Just compare this with his relationship with Shannon: with Shannon Eddie always is the one to make decisions, in part because he believes that’s what a man should do but also in part because he doesn’t trust her - and that was even before she left. Eddie trusts no one but himself for the most part but he does trust Buck, because to Eddie Buck can hardly do wrong. Which is why the whole law suit probably hit him so hard cause he expects everyone to let him down all the time but Evan Buckley? The guy he trust with his son more than anyone else? That guy? He expected better off! And that my friends is beautiful.

As for the voiceover it does poise one very central question for Eddie’s character: If he gives up control, will he be able to regain it? Because that is Eddie’s biggest fear and why he always holds everything so tight: he thinks if he lets the floodgates open once, he’ll never be able to close them.

In other news: Ryan took his shirt off.

Episode 3.06:

Before I write another 2400 words about our boys, I wanna remind you of that scene of Bobby, Chimney and Eddie wearing sun glasses, with Hen wearing her normal glasses, standing round, looking like an album cover! *plays „Clique“ by Kanye West, Jay-Z, Big Sean*

Do you think Athena and Hen talked about Bobby and how he would / does handle Buck? They did, didn’t they?

Also love how Hen and Chimney are super welcoming because one, they know what it’s like to be the odd one out and two, they love Buck and actually see his point of view. I believe. Now if only someone would remember to tell him.

Like, come on, they probably sit in the ambulance gossiping all the time!

I really love that we saw some bonding between Buck and Hen and Buck and Chimney in this episode because as much as I love Buddie we do not see enough of those combos (we don’t see enough of Buddie either).

Also the whole two steps forward, one step back? That is Bobby in this episode.

Now, we have to talk about the apology scene because this is Buck, expressing himself, being vulnerable. I love this episode a lot especially in regards to this Meta because here we see all the things I explained for the last episode: Buck is expressing, trying his best to make the problem go away while Eddie avoids it.

Also, you know, there is the whole illegal fighting thing that is visible on Eddie and look, if you did something like that would you willingly spent time with the one person who will call you out on it or will you avoid him like the plague? Especially if the last time you saw him you were screaming bloody murder at him in the middle of a grocery store! And the next time you see him he calls you out for your bruising. Yeah, guys, that’s just realistic.

Also bit of a reach, but the reason this is part of my discussion of 3.06 and not 3.05, which is Eddie’s relationship to Buck. Remember how 3.03 ended? That beautiful moment that made Oliver Stark cry on Instagram live? Remember how Eddie said „It’s his turn to save you now.“? Yeah, what happened to that?

Okay, Eddie is not an expressive guy. He is bad with feelings. He hates having them. And here comes Evan „Buck“ Buckley and he is just the polar opposite. Sure, he’d rather not talk about his feelings either but he has a lot of them and he *likes* having all of them and he wallows in them and that is probably a lot for a guy like Eddie to deal with. Especially when I do think Eddie understands somewhat where Buck came from and he probably feels guilty af about making Buck feel like he was being replaced. About not seeing the pain Buck was in. About not being there for him - which is why he lashes out, because guilt can make the healthiest people do horrible shit and Eddie is far from any definition of healthy at that point.

But I do have to say I am reaching with this and if I ever meet Tim Minear I will have him explain the fight scene and the apology scene to me word for word because it has to be deeper, right?

It can’t just be Eddie lashing out, and saying exactly the things he knows will hurt Buck because he is mad mad mad? Yeah, I know, whatever.

(Because even if that is the case? This is still the scene where a guy uses his best friend as a substitute to get his anger for his dead wife out in a somewhat healthy manner.)

Which is why I love both these scenes immensely, because it shows exactly how differently Eddie and Buck deal with things, because Eddie avoids them or gets mad and screams at them while Buck, actually does something fairly healthy and try to talk it out - but like only as his last option. He tries anything but talking before that, except with Eddie because they are connected and he finally *finally* lets himself be emotionally vulnerable with Eddie.

Which is also why the apology scene is so important to me, despite thinking while a bit rash, Buck wasn’t exactly wrong in his actions. I would have hated if they just brushed the grocery store over or made it about Eddie and the issues he had at the time. Instead they gave us this beautiful scene where Buck finally - FINALLY - gets to explain himself to someone, especially Eddie, the guy who he hurt the most because Buck is his anchor, and Eddie actually listens and then he gets it and he is like, oh, I wasn’t wrong! He really deserves all my trust!

So you know, that’s just beautiful, wether it’s platonic or romantic.

Episode 3.07: no relevance

Episode 3.08:

I wanna say something right of the bat that is probably controversial as hell:

Eddie did not want to share with Bobby. Eddie likes Bobby, he trusts Bobby, but he wasn’t really feeling like sharing with Bobby.

The reason Eddie talked with Bobby about all of this? Well, first of all it was bound to happen, sometimes things need to be said and then it doesn’t really matter who you’re talking to.

Also Eddie? Boy Scout. Army man. Chain of Command. If your superior officer tells you to share - you share! There. I said it. (This is not a Bobby Nash - stan account)

Also: „A friend of mine told me I needed an outlet - think I found it.“ - no, you didn’t Buddy boy, it’s why I’m currently 10.000 words into an episode by episode analysis of your character! (can you tell I am slowly going off the rails with this?)

But I do love how we finally got to see sassy!Eddie again. I missed you, babe!

As for the kitchen scene and the look, yes, I know, Maddie was looking at them like that because she just called them out about gossiping and they turned around and gossiped, buuuut … ya’ll also realise that Chimney was apparently *not* aware that anything was wrong with Eddie when Eddie had been acting weird way longer then Hen. He nearly punched Buck in a grocery store, he comes in with new bruises like 3 times a week but sure mate, he is all normal! (Or you know, Buck is just hyperfocused on Eddie)

One thing that freaks me out every time I watch this episode is how completely fucking nonchalant Eddie seems by the fact that he nearly fucking killed a guy. To quote Lena Bosko, professional plot pusher: „What the hell, Eddie?“

And then of course 3.15 happened and we saw Eddie shoot multiple people, so he probably learned how to compartmentalise and I guess I need to remember this is a TV show and no one actually died. But wow, I really need this addressed more because I have such mixed feelings about this.

And with regards to this I wanna say something even more controversial: Eddie got off easy. Yes, the guy willingly went into that ring but Eddie nearly killed him and all Bobby wanted to talk about was why Eddie was fighting? Again: What the hell?

Another thing this episode firmly proofs is that Lena is really just a poor substitute for Buck because Eddie doesn’t actually know anything about her, he just uses her as a sounding board because, well, Buck wasn’t there and he was lonely?

As for the actual conversation happening, yes, there we have it, in plain sight, Eddie needs to be in control because he thinks this is what Christopher needs him to be and as I’ve said before Eddie will always do anything for Christopher, even if he hurts himself in the process.

Also, remember when Lena told him he needed to show and tell his son how he felt so Christopher knows it’s okay to feel that way as well? Clearly didn’t stick of he would not feel this intense need to be in control. Which is realistic, you don’t just unlearn behaviour you had for like 30 years just because someone gives you some good advice once! (Man, my life could be so different!)

I’m also not a fan of Bobby’s „She died.“ because while yes, it wasn’t her fault that she left this time, grief isn’t rational. And even without the looming divorce Eddie has every right to be upset and to be angry at the world, and yes, even his dead wife. She’s dead. It doesn’t hurt her anymore. (Although that would be one feeling he should probably keep from Christopher.)

Not to mention Eddie feels guilty as hell. His anger? Mostly at himself. The sentence “I broke his mother”? Broke me as well.

But I also understand Eddie because while he may be grieving, his son is clearly traumatised by the whole situation, as seen in 3.04, and Eddie is trying his best and look, his outlet wasn’t the healthiest but um, at least he realised he needed one? He addressed that? That’s growth (sorta).

Amount of shirtless!Eddie scenes: 2, which feels a bit like overkill for one episode (pace yourself, Tim, this isn’t Game of Thrones)

Episode 3.09:

Frank! My main man Frank! Ui, I love him! When Tim calls me to come consult for Season 4 because clearly by now I am an expert on his characters and the way they should act, I will tell him to bring Frank back. I miss Frank. I hope he’s doing okay. He deserves the world. Also really wanna meet Rosemary.

And hey, as someone who has worked in the mental health sector and probably will again come October (if I manage to finish my degree by then, urgh, Corona, you are destroying my thesis!), I love that scene on the sofa so much! All of them openly sharing that they have been in therapy and talking about their therapists and just, uh, that scene makes me all tingly!

Before we get into all the emotional things I’m just gonna add the scene on the sofa to my list of scene I don’t fully understand. Like, what emotion exactly was Eddie supposed to be conveying because to me he sounds angry. And why should Eddie be angry about Buck sleeping with his therapist? What reason could he have?

Okay, yeah, maybe it’s a little exasperation and annoyance because apparently Evan Buckley is just coasting through life and doesn’t even take therapy seriously. Idk. I haven’t read the script.

But it does lead us to Buck giving Eddie shit, because, as I’ve said before, that’s what Buck does.

As for the therapy scene, yay, there is a mention of the nearly dead guy! Who is not dead. Yay!

I do love Eddie’s reasons for going to therapy and really trying, even though he is not clicking with Frank. He is such a good dad! (Also I’ve been debating for like 20 minutes whether Eddie would be more comfortable sharing with a woman or with a man and for some reason (his connection with Buck vs his relationship with Shannon) I think he’d be more comfortable with a man. Idk. I could be wrong. - Also Eddie is probably always uncomfortable talking about his feelings, so there is that!) His reasoning shows also yet again what I said about both Buck and Eddie before: they are protectors. They will make themselves vulnerable to help someone else. It’s a thing.

Also I pulled out my pocket edition of ICD-10 to check and while we don’t have enough information to give a full diagnosis, it’s safe to say that he is supposed to be going through a depressive episode. Because yes, sometimes depressed people aren’t sad, sometimes they are fucking angry.

Now, as for the Evan Buckley of it all and that scene: I read another Meta by someone clearly much better at this than me that stated Eddie uses Sarcasm as a way to deflect, which is exactly what is happening here because Eddie is not as fine with everything that happened as he pretends to be. I think he has just come to the sudden and horrible conclusion that his tipping point has been Buck no longer being in his life and so he decided it was easier to just move on then deal with his feelings (which is what got you into this mess in the first place, Edmundo, so please rethink,) if that means Buck back in his life.

I also think Eddie deflects here because he realises how much what he did and what he said actually hurt Buck in return and Eddie doesn’t fully know how to deal with that. And look, if they actually start discussing their issues then Eddie will have to admit his guilt and Eddie will have to say he’s sorry and right then he is still too pissed to do so, so he decides to move on.

Ah, the wonderful clash of Eddie thinking actions speak louder than words but Buck needing to hear the actual words.

Sidenote: I sent the kitchen scene to my roommate, stopped before they played the video game and asked her what she thinks happened next. And to quote „Love me <3 <3 <3. Please fuck me“ - because yes, she did take one look at them and decide the one with the puppy dog eyes was a bottom. That’s also a quote.

Episode 3.10:

Eddie really is trying so hard to be a good dad, isn’t he?

I also love the little head shake Eddie gives after Chris ask Buck about spending Christmas with him, because he clearly has already talked about the whole thing with Buck. And I’m not gonna talk about the framing. Other’s have done that before and I don’t actually know that much about it in first place.

Also it is cute as all hell that Chris asked Buck in the first place and also heartbreaking.

Other than that this episode doesn’t have that much of a relevance for this meta, because if I have to start discussing Buck’s other issues as well this will never be done.

Before I let you go, I wanna say something real quick:

In the past few days there have been several posts about content creators and liking vs commenting / reblogging on my dash and I just wanna say this is true for meta writers as well! Look, I love everyone who likes this because validation, but I’m not actually writing this meta for myself, I’m writing this because I have thoughts and I wanna share them with the rest of the class and have the class discuss it with me!

So please, reblog this and comment under or in the tags or come to my ask or my messages, even if it’s only to tell me that my punctuation is shit! 

Anyways, @angelcamael and @greyhello here’s part 3!