#no one heterosexually blows on a jacket like
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Y’all don’t even know how hard it is being the only tumblrina in the squad. My friend hasn’t seen season 2 of good omens yet but left season 1 thinking Crowley and Aziraphale were Just Besties.
#like Ik she will be stoked about this season and live for the hijinks and drama and ROMANCE#BUT#do u understand#how badly#I wanna say#I TOLD YOU SO#cuz like SO BAD#we were both respecting the other’s interpretations in season 1 but now?#HA BITCH#6000 year so burn 🔥#no one heterosexually blows on a jacket like#and like they were clearly deeply in love but#good omens 2#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziracrow
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Things you said through someone else -- steddie! For the ask thingy 😄💛
(This is so old but I finally have the energy and the idea for it, so here we go!)
Steve cheers every time it starts raining. He's not a fan of getting rained on, and lightning makes him uneasy after a few too many trips to the Upside Down, but rain means people stay inside, and when people stay inside, they're not at Family Video.
It is dead, and it is glorious.
Robin amuses herself by stacking as many tapes as she can on the front counter. She's up to twenty seven and has climbed onto the counter to keep the tower going. Steve occasionally blows on it , just to see the tower shake and laugh as Robin frantically tries to stabilize it.
He bets she'll make it to thirty six before it falls. There's no way she'll make it all the way to the ceiling.
While Robin stacks the tapes, Steve relays the story Dustin told him, in typical dramatic Dustin fashion, about Eddie cancelling Hellfire last night in favor of going to see a local band they really like at a bar a few towns over. He's almost at the point where he has to do an impression of Dustin doing an impression of Eddie, which is as ridiculous as it sounds, when the bell on the front door rings.
Rather than groan aloud, Steve and Robin send each other matching help me looks.
Robin hops down from the counter but makes no move to dismantle her teetering tower of tapes. Steve looks around them to see Eddie and the guys from his band walking in and brushing the rain off their jackets.
"Hey guys," he says because he knows them, he's been to a few band practices. "What's up?"
Eddie beams at the sound of Steve's voice and waves very dramatically, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he writes something down in red crayon on what has to be an absolutely drenched notepad. He passes it to Gareth, who rolls his eyes.
"Eddie lost his voice last night at the show, but that didn't stop him from dragging us here," he says. His own voice is scratchy, and Eddie elbows him for his dead tone.
Robin rolls her eyes, amused.
"Okay, but why come here?" Steve says. "If you're not feeling well-"
Jeff pokes Eddie. "Come on. You're the one who dragged us here because you can't talk."
"Well, all of us didn't need to be here," Archie adds.
"All of us have to witness this," Jeff says, and Archie nods, satisfied.
Eddie waves his hands frantically in an unmistakable stop talking gesture before he keeps writing on his notepad.
Steve tries valiantly not to laugh. One look at Robin's matching expression of these guys are ridiculous ruins it instantly.
Eddie makes eye contact with him, and Steve watches as he turns bright red as he keeps writing.
That totally doesn't do anything to Steve. Nope. Not at all. Because he totally didn't realize that he might not have completely heterosexual feelings for Eddie as of... last week.
Okay, they've been around for longer, a lot longer, but Steve wasn't able to catch on to that until very recently.
Other people's emotions? Easy, very clear. His own? No thank you.
Eddie tears off the top sheet of the notepad and hands it to Gareth.
"Jesus, Eddie, I can't read this," he says, and he passes it to Archie.
He takes it, squints, and says, "I refuse to read this."
Steve has never seen Eddie look more embarrassed. It shouldn't be as cute as it is.
Jeff snatches the note out of Archie's hand, and reads, out loud, "I was out last night and all I could think of was how much better of a time I would have had if you were there. Date, Saturday, 7:00, I'll pick you up, yes/no?"
Everyone freezes. Gareth and Archie stare at Eddie incredulously, Jeff holds the note far away from him, like it'll give him cooties, Eddie has his head in both of his hands, Robin looks one stiff breeze away from a laughing fit, and Steve-
Wait. Eddie feels the same way?
And then Robin's tape tower clatters to the floor, breaking the silence.
"Eddie, that's some middle school shi-"
"Damn, okay, guess we weren't enough fun for you, I'm joking, I promise-"
"Oh my god you couldn't even wait-"
"Yeah," Steve says.
Everyone stops and looks at him. Eddie takes his head out of his hands, big eyes hopeful.
"It's a date," Steve says. "But I'm driving, maniac."
Eddie's smile is blinding, and then, all at once, his friends pile on him.
"Let's go!" Jeff yells.
"I can't believe that shit work- ouch, Archie."
Robin laughs with them and gives Steve a hug of her own.
"You're never letting him live this down, are you?" she whispers.
"Absolutely not," Steve says.
"Alright, get out of here!" Robin says when she pulls back. "Get some vocal rest and find someplace dry that isn't here. You'll attract customers if you stay, and God knows we don't want that."
The guys laugh, high-fiving Steve and Robin on the way out.
Eddie is the last to leave. Steve can tell he wants to talk, can see how he opens his mouth before he remembers that no sound will come out.
"See you Saturday," he says for him.
Eddie nods and leaves when Archie yells at him to unlock the van.
Steve watches them pull out of the lot as Robin starts reassembling her tape stack.
When a car pulls into the lot and out comes a mother and her two kids who will definitely take every tape off the shelf and definitely ask too many questions and actually will make them work, Steve and Robin look at each other and say, in unison:
"Goddammit."
There are some people even the rain won't stop.
Though, Steve supposes as the bell on the front door rings, maybe that's a good thing.
Prompts here.
#ria writes#asked and answered#legitcookie#thanks for asking!!#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#stobin#platonic with a capital p#corroded coffin#jeff stranger things#gareth stranger things#stranger things#stranger things ficlet#st#st ficlet#fluff
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The warmth of a caring touch, and a hand to hold.
This sickfic just barely won the poll I had posted a few days ago lol. I'm working on the second one too! please enjoy about 1k words of Kaz/inej fluff because they are my comfort heterosexuals. ----- Kaz Brekker was fine. He was more than fine, actually, working on yet another time sensitive job. This time, their presence was required just outside of Ketterdam, and while the mission was done Kaz could tell no one would be able to make it back to his beloved bar tonight. So, they had walked into a hotel Nina knew never took names or remembered faces, getting three separate rooms.
Like their usual arrangements, Kaz and Inej took the same room. Inej was the only person that Kaz trusted to sleep next too, although he would never tell her that. She left to talk to Jesper only minutes ago, giving the put-together male time to recuperate.
He was trying to do so but felt too on edge. Locking the rooms door, Kaz took a deep breath that instantly turned into a crackling cough. His heart skipped a beat as he found himself suddenly unable to breathe, using a gloved fist to muffle them as his body shook from the coughs. Kaz had never been someone with a strong constitution, even if he tried to conceal all signs of weakness. Even once he stopped coughing, his head still felt dizzying and weak. Kaz fell onto one of the beds, his eyes closing for a moment. Everything was spinning around him, even while he was in the dark. — Click, the door swung open with barely any noise, signaling Inej’s arrival. She gasped as she saw the scene in front of her. The only time Inej had seen Kaz like this was when- he was sick. Probably for days now, considering how he dreaded illness so much. “Kaz?” a garbled groan was the only noise she got in response, yet Kaz turned and stared at Inej with one eye, the other still against his pillow. “Inej,” his voice sounds like a whimper, weaker than she usually hears it. The woman rushes to his side, using the back of her hand to check Kaz’s forehead for fever. His forehead was hot enough that she hisses as she pulls back, now looking for his usual waterskin.
“You look horrendous,” She says, trying to lighten the mood. Kaz tries to answer, but instead his face warps. “Hehhhhh’tshhhhhh! Ehhhh’kchuhhhhh!!” He only sneezes in doubles whenever he has caught a bug from someone, and Inej knows he wouldn’t sneeze like that unless he is too delirious to care about getting her sick.
“Ghezen,” Grabbing a handkerchief from Kaz’s own jacket, she brings it up to his face. “Try to blow your nose,” Inej can tell that the man is falling asleep, but he does attempt a weak blow for her. She puts the handkerchief back on the nightstand, and is preparing to change herself when Kaz coughs lightly, then tries to speak.
“Inej, I can move-” he trails off, nose still giving him hell for a few seconds but failing to build into a real sneeze. “Can we sleep next to each other?” usually Kaz is much too reserved to ask such a question, even though they have been romantically engaged for months now.
The sweet, innocent question draws a smile out of her. “Of course Kaz,” she moves the beds together after changing into sleepwear, a long dress that is lighter than her usual clothes but still lets her react in case of someone attacking in the middle of the night. It had taken her a long time to be comfortable with sleeping next to anyone, but they had done this enough exhausted nights for her to be so very happy here.
Kaz’ eyes are still closed as she slips into bed next to him, being the big spoon as she protects Kaz with her own body. The last thing Inej hears as she drifts off to sleep is the smallest snuffles possible, his snores sounding extremely stuffed-up.
///////
It is early morning when Kaz wakes up next. There is a small amount of dreary sunlight coming into their room. He realizes that the room has been changed while he was very out of it, but he also realizes that there is very familiar arms holding him in place. Inej. she must have come in while he was passed out on top of the sheets, helping him into bed.
As much as he loves her warm touch, his nose and throat is already starting to itch. There is no rest for the wicked, after all.
“Uehhhhhh’kshht!! Uhhhhh’tchushhhh!!” Kaz stifled the first sneeze with his thumb and forefinger, but the second sneeze managed to escape his hold. They did nothing to help the tickle, instead shifting the congestion in his nose and making it so much worse. His breath caught harshly again, causing Inej to stir. “Heahhhhhhh–tchushhhhh!! Ahhhhhhhh’pshiewwww!!” the last sneeze was undeniably loud, causing Kaz to wince. His headache wasn’t worsened from the sneezes, but they caused his already weakened voice to rebel against his own throat.
“Kaz? How do you-” Inej was cut off by choked off coughs, Kaz’s [I] ungloved hand cupped over his mouth as he tried desperately to muffle them. The assassin could see how panic set into his watery eyes as his hand moved away from his mouth, the coughs now significantly weakened. “Oh, angel-” her hands gently felt Kaz’ forehead before moving away. “You’re too sick to leave your bed,”
Usually, this would be the part where Kaz refused her. Where Kaz pushed everyone away to wallow in a sea of terrible memories, but he was different now. At least, he wanted to believe he was better, better than he had been before. In actuality, it was both Kaz and Inej trying to stop their terrible habits and learning to be more secure in each other.
///////// Although unplanned, the next two days consisted of the other crows all playing cards and screwing around. Occasionally, Jesper or Wylan would walk back up to Kaz and inej’s room, only to hear their quiet conversations, the snores someone made while sick, or soft totally not cute sneezes. They definitely didn’t gossip about the two, and if Inej couldn’t be a perfect wraith when they got into Ketterdam because of a running nose, no one mentioned it.
#snzfic#snz kink#snzblr#snz fet#both of them are ooc#but its okay because I love them#i kind of rambled through this but oh well
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BASICS
Full Name: Benny Modig Hellström
Nickname: Ben, Benji, Bug, Hellstrong
Gender: Cis Male
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Romantic Orientation: Heteromantic
Birthdate: January 30th, 1941
Birthplace: Yellow Springs, Ohio
Neighborhood: Willowdale
Occupation: Baker at Ruby's Diner
Ethnic Background: Swedish
Religious Views: Atheist
Language(s) Spoken: English, Swedish
PHYSICALITY
Face Claim: Bill Skarsgård
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Green
Height: 6'3''
Tattoos: NONE
Piercings: NONE
Style/Aesthetic: Not one to really care for looks, Benny normally sports flared jeans or trousers and a white t-shirt. He'll occasionally wear a flannel or plain leather jacket.
Usual Expression: 😈 🍰 🐶 click the emojis to view
Distinguishing Features: Big green eyes and tall stature
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Physical Ailments: Colorblind (red-green: protanomaly*)
Neurological Conditions: Headaches, occasionally migraines
Allergies: NONE
Sleeping Habits: Sleep deficiency since childhood
Exercise Habits: Running, Boxing
Emotional Stability: He tries his best not to let his reputation from his youth follow him and always tries to stay cool, but can blow a fuse here and there if the right buttons are pushed. Overall, he's pretty neutral.
Sociability: Benny's not very social as he won't strike up a conversation with someone for no reason, but he's chill company to be around and attracts those with like-minded vibes. He's very loyal, which means he's choosey with his company.
Body Temperature: Hot/Warm
Addictions: NONE
Drug Usage: Weed, Cigarettes, and will occasionally try whatever a trusted friend recommends.
Alcohol Usage: Moderate, purely social
PERSONALITY
Positive Traits: caring, hard-working, loyal
Negative Traits: detached, secretive, touchy (on the past/upbringing)
Goals/Desires: He's not really the type to dream big since he was a child, but will often daydream of owning his own property with lots of animals, and living peacefully.
Fears: His past coming back to bring him to reality. He often has nightmares of his childhood, especially when he's stressed or hears sounds that trigger him.
Hobbies: Always a hard worker, Benny doesn't do much aside from just work. Though he's been allowing himself here and there to join in on whatever a friend recommends him to do, like checking out new music or hanging out at the Rink
Habits: Benny loves animals and will can't help himself staring at one. He'll almost always ask to pet dogs if the situation feels right. He also tends to tap his feet and shake his leg, feeling slightly restless.
FAVORITES
Season: Fall
Color: Orange
Music: Tony Bennett, ABBA, The Rolling Stones, Cher
Movies: North By Northwest, Lord of the Flies, The King and I
Food: Burgers, Pizza
Beverage: Coke
Animal: Dogs
FAMILY
Father: Arne Hellström
Mother: Ulla Hellström
Sibling(s): Younger half-sister by 6 years
Children: NONE
Pet(s): NONE (but wants a dog so bad)
Family Financial Status: Middle to low income
Relationship: Single
EXTRAS:
Astrological Placements: Aquarius Sun, Cancer Rising, Pisces Moon
MBTI: IXXJ
Enneagram: Type 5: The Investigator
Moral Alignment: True Neutral
Primary Vice: Wrath
Primary Virtue: Charity
Element: Water
#little high little low. » tasks#stillwater: task#the way his astrological placements make so much sense...#i literally guessed a time and fate happened
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Mamba Class
Prepare your butts because this one is chaotic. Make sure to read the very descriptive tags and get out your ELP wrote something dumb bingo cards. Thank you to @panchatea and @ggidolsmuts for beta reads and editing! I promise they're not responsible for the criminally stupid parts of this story, because I rejected those specific edits. They tried to stop this for everybody's benefit, but despite their efforts, it's here.
Tags: TheLounge, NSFW smut, Aespa, Winter, futa!Karina, Ningning, Giselle, look at the cover and try to guess the pairing(s?), also read Get To Blow You first if you haven’t already, penis-vagina sex, anatomy 101, the ultimate birth control, thoughts of throatfucking, thoughts of anal, thoughts of roleplay, thots of Aespa, thoughts of hatred, thoughts of questionable sexualities, thoughts of heterosexual sex, thoughts of homosexual sex, there’s a lot of thinking about lots of sexual topics okay just read the damn fic, wait there are more tags, bartering for nudes, choking intended to be violent but turns out to be sexy, cunnilingus, creeper photos, panty-stealing, breeding, crying about breeding, and I think maybe some student/teacher roleplay, okay now you can read the fic, thank you for coming to my TED tags
The room was similar to a set on which SM had made them shoot a very low budget video with particularly bad microphones. Tiny school desks with built-in chairs awkwardly set up next to each other in an otherwise bland, flat, entirely purple room. The difference was that this time there were only three desks instead of four, because Karina wasn’t seated. She was dressed as a sexy school teacher and trying—failing—to set up an oldschool overhead projector.
Of course, referring to any of Karina’s outfits as “sexy” was redundant. A pencil skirt, glasses, heels, and white blouse so tight that a button had to be left undone? Yeah. That’s fair. Looking like a sex nuke in some dorky-ass costume, Winter thought. She didn’t resent Karina for being so hot, but she still wasn’t over some portion of her inferiority complex, it seemed.
“Aw, come on,” Karina mumbled, “I had this ancient thing working at home…”
Giselle’s voice was muffled by her arms. “Why didn’t we just stay there, then?” Her boorish behavior matched her look. Her school uniform was worn askew, missing a button or two at both the top and bottom of her dress shirt, her necktie’s knot all the way down to her clavicle, and her stockings were replaced with fishnets. Her head was down, as if she was trying to take a nap.
“Yeah,” said Ningning. She wore her uniform a little differently. The skirt was far too short, the deep-cut shirt was tied up to make it an impromptu crop top, the jacket was left wide open, and she somehow found a pair of hot pink heels to wear over her white calf-length socks. She twirled her hair around her finger. “And why did we have to get dressed up for this?”
Winter scoffed. The other two were barely “dressed up,” unlike her. She’d put some effort in. Her uniform was steam-pressed, her stockings were regulation length, and, well, frankly, she didn’t look like such a god-damned whore. “Stop complaining.” Winter chided them both. “Karina said it was important, so we better listen.”
“Thank you, Winter,” Karina said. Teacher’s pet pride welled up in Winter’s chest. “Now if I could just turn this darn thin—Ah, fuck!”
Intense light jabbed Karina in the eye as the device flicked on as she peered into the reflectors. She staggered toward the light switch, blinking the residual shadows out of her eyes while the others chuckled. “I read an article online that said creating a clearly defined… ugh.” Karina rubbed at her eye as the light cut out. “A clearly defined educational scenario is good for information retention.”
Ningning gave Winter a confused look. Winter shrugged. She wasn’t in the mood, and it wasn’t the time, to explain big words to the bimbo.
On the wall, upside down, was a cutout diagram of a uterus, arrows pointing at each section. Karina sighed and flipped it right side up. "Who can tell me what this is?"
Winter and Giselle rolled their eyes at each other. Ningning answered, "My baby factory?"
Karina continued, unphased by the blatant disregard for scientific anatomical terminology. "Well, that is its function, kind of, yes. For the sake of ease, I'll be referring to this, collectively, as the vagina, but it's a fascinating piece of biological machinery, capable of creating life!"
"But only if it gets filled to the brim with the creamiest baby batter from a rock hard cock, right?" Ningning asked.
"Yyyes? Sure." Karina moved on, pointing everything out as she said it out loud. "See, here we have the parts you've no doubt seen, the labia majora and minora, the clitoris, and the vaginal opening. Just above is the unfortunately lesser-known urethra. That's where you pee from. And then inside, we have the vagina itself, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries. These are the sections in which a baby can begin to be created, when a sperm manages to penetrate an egg."
She was interrupted by a loud, fake snore from Giselle. "We know how it wooorks!"
"No, this is good! I didn't know babies were made that far up in my hoohah!" Ningning was doing a great job at playing the ditsy student, though Winter couldn't tell if it was an act or not. "So what you're saying is that you have to really get absolutely flooded with jizz so it's squeezed through those teeny tiny fallcopium tubes?"
Winter scowled. "It's 'fal-OH-pee-in.' And just a little will do. Only one sperm cell has to get to an egg for pregnancy to occur."
"Cell…?" Ningning mumbled.
"Yes, thank you Wint—" Karina said.
"But," Giselle cut in with a sly grin, "surely more cum gives better chances, maybe even for more babies at once, right?"
Ningning's eyes lit up like they were extra projectors. "I hope so!"
"N—Hey! Let's not get too far off-lesson!" Karina looked flustered.
In spite of that flustering, or maybe partially because of it, Winter still found herself staring every few seconds. She licked her lips. Karina’s tits were the stuff of dreams. Her ass was held tightly by the pencil skirt, which slimmed it down, but it still so clearly flared out from her hips. As she stepped around the fake classroom, adjusting her maybe-fake glasses and pointing at the images on the wall, describing the functions of the female anatomy, the heavy clicking of her pointed heels on the floor gave Winter the kinds of ideas reserved for the bedroom, basement dungeon, and naughty fanfiction (which, considering one of those scenarios is currently relevant, the ideas were like, Karina forcing Winter to lick the heels, pushing them against her throat, etc, all while calling Winter a dirty, dirty girl, and masturbating onto her face. That would be hot, right, you dirty slut? You totally want to read about—).
Winter shook the horniness out of her head and caught back up with Karina’s likely-unnecessary sex ed lesson. She was just finishing the description of stem cell division.
"Now, having explained the basics," Karina stated with a very anime-esque push of her glasses up her nose, "I can explain how our birth control works. Though there are many types, ours has the side benefit of preventing all sexually transmitted infections without requiring barriers like condoms or dams, but it is also one hundred percent guaranteed effective. You see…" She swapped out projector slides to an image of a penis and a vagina, each covered by a ghostly blue sheen. "A nano force field is projected from each cell within the genital region…"
Obviously, Winter was fully aware of how their birth control worked. It was honestly so simple and easy to understand. Therefore, she took the opportunity to fantasize further about Karina. Since the Get to Blow You event, being canonically just over a week earlier, she had avoided Karina in the dorm. Sure, she was feeling quite a bit more confident in herself since then, but not quite so confident as the day itself, and she didn't want to come across as too eager to choke herself near to death on Karina’s footlong schlong at every possible opportunity. Which, for clarity, she was. Eager, that is.
Winter’s imagination ran wild with all of the things she wanted to do with Karina at once. She wanted to dress as a sexy maid and have homeowner!Karina throatfuck her for missing a spot while dusting, be saved from a burning building by firefighter!Karina and resuscitated via throatfuck, and welcome sailor!Karina home from a long voyage with a hug and/or a throatfuck right on the dock… But she fantasized about more than just throatfucking! Winter wanted Karina to bend her over a log on a mountain hiking trail and fuck her pussy, to fuck her ass on an Antarctic science mission, and to lock her in a dungeon and feed her nothing but cum by brutally throatfucking her like a war criminal.
Who’s the war criminal in that one…? Wait, why do I care? Stretch my throat, Karina, fuuuck…
A slap on the arm snapped Winter back to reality. Giselle gave her an “are you an idiot” sort of look and pointed at her mouth. Only then did Winter notice that she’d been drooling. She quickly wiped the throat lubricatio—drool away and looked back up at Karina just in time to catch the last sentences of the lecture.
“Therefore, as hot-blooded hot girls with large networks of extremely attractive friends…” Karina spun around to face the schoolgirls again, her tits coming to rest shortly after the rest of her stopped moving. “We are now perfectly within our rights (and expectations) to engage in any sexual activity we wish, with zero percent chance of pregnancy! Any questions?”
Winter assumed there would be no questions, but was immediately proven wrong.
“WHAT?!” Ningning screamed.
Karina blinked. “What… what?”
“ZERO PERCENT CHANCE OF PREGNANCY?!” That time, everybody covered their ears. They could still hear Ningning just fine.
“Um, yeah.” Giselle took a turn to respond. “That’s kind of exactly the point of ‘birth control.’”
“BIRTH CONTROL LETS YOU CONTROL WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY! IT’S IN THE NAME!”
“Technically yes, but like, by preventing it. It’s not like a remote con—”
Ningning’s next scream didn’t consist of words. It was an incoherent banshee wail. Winter stood up to slap a hand over her mouth. “God, Ningning! Calm the fuck down. What’s the big deal?” She pulled her hand away just in time to avoid being bitten.
“You can’t…” Ningning stuttered hard, “You can’t— You c— You can’t— You can’t— YOU CAN’T TELL ME— You can’t tell me about how baby-making works, getting me all hot and worked up, just to say I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE! I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!”
Winter would have planted her hands on her hips, but she still needed them to prevent hearing loss. “Yeah you did. Idol contract bullshit. Don’t worry, though. It’s reversible.”
Ningning stood up slowly, gripped the collar of Winter’s shirt, got inches away from her face, and whispered menacingly. She shook with the kind of rage a momma bear would have if she found out she didn’t actually have any babies to momma and wouldn’t be having any any time soon, which was an appropriately specific type of rage for the situation. Her enormous eyes were far wider than usual. “Hhhooowww?”
Winter shook too, but with the kind of fear that a puppy would have if confronted with a momma bear shaking with the kind of rage a momma bear would—everybody got the point.
“You can just get it reversed, Ningning,” Karina said, cautiously stepping forward. “After our contracts expire.”
Ningning’s head snapped over to her. “THAT’S GOING TO BE YEARS FROM NOW AND I WANNA GET BRED!”
“Babe,” Giselle said, far too calmly for the situation, “we work for SM. We get bread every daaay. Hahaaa—Shit.”
Giselle had to jump out of and behind her desk to put it between herself and Ningning, who let go of Winter to go on a new warpath. “THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR JOKES! I! NEED! BABIES!”
The action movie played out in a half circle around Winter. Giselle faked a twitch in one direction, then broke in the other, running past Karina and behind Ningning’s desk just in time to dodge a grab. Unfortunately for her, the previous momma bear analogy proved quite apt, as Ningning picked the desk up and tossed it backward, narrowly missing Winter and smashing into the room’s fourth wall. It hurt your knees.
Before Ningning got her (a sufficiently vague phrase for the incoming violence, in Winter’s mind), Giselle threw up her hands, winced back, and quickly shouted, “Hol’uptheresanotherway!”
Ningning squinted. "What do you mean, ‘another way?’"
Giselle continued with her arms still mostly in front of her face. "Well you see, the birth control—"
"Birth prevention," Ningning corrected, incorrectly.
"Sure. Birth prevention can only take so much of a beating before it gives out. If it gets hit by too much semen, surely it will let the sperm through and you'll get pregnant."
Winter and Karina stared at each other. Karina mouthed something like, What is she saying?
Winter responded with a similarly soundless, How am I supposed to know what nonsense Giselle is spouting? It’s an obvious lie, but I honestly hope it gets Ningning to calm down. I fear for my safety. It seemed that Karina didn’t catch all of that, so, rather than try again, Winter just shrugged. It seemed to get across the necessary part of the message.
Ningning gazed into the vacuum of space. “Too much semen…” she whispered dreamily, “Extreme breeding…”
Giselle raised her eyebrows, put down her arms, and smirked. “Um, yes. Exactly. Extreme breeding is your best bet. You’ll have to try real, real hard though, you know? Just like, constant fucki—” She was interrupted by a stern throat-clearing and glare from Karina. “I mean, just once a week, when you’re ovulating.”
“Once a week?!” Karina interjected. “What happened to the information retention from my lecture?!”
Ignoring her entirely, Giselle continued. “Yeh, totally. Or yeah, like however long it takes you to ovulate. Just ask Karina to fuck you until your womb is overflowing and eventually the birth… prevention will break and you’ll get totally super preggo.”
Ningning blinked back out of her daydream and pointed back at the teacher. “Karina?”
“Yup,” said Giselle.
Silence.
“What?” asked Ningning.
Giselle rolled her eyes. “Well she’s got a huuuge dick, and jizzes like, multiple gallons at a time.” She gestured at Karina, then made repeated “bursting” motions with her hand, accompanying them with explosion noises.
Well, that’s not awkward at all, Winter thought.
Ningning’s eyes met Karina’s, but once again the room was silent (besides Giselle’s continuing explosive ejaculation sounds).
“Is that true?” Ningning eventually asked.
Karina cringed and scratched her eyebrow. “I mean… it’s not that big.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me about that?! I love cocks!”
“You… Ningning, you just turned eighteen. It’s only early-to-mid-December of 2020 right now, remember?” Karina reminded the reade—her members of when this story took place. Winter nodded, her blonde-blue hombre hair waving around her shoulders as she did. Giselle also confirmed that she was, in fact, still blonde, in case you forgot.
“That’s given me at least a month and a half to discover my love of dick! How do you know I haven’t been getting bred since Halloween.”
Karina took a deep, frustrated breath. “You lost your virginity last week. I literally had to pull Hyunjin’s dick out of your pussy, and you screamed at me in front of him for ruining your first time.”
“Yeah, but—”
“He ran away. You didn’t even ask him if… It’s fine. We’ve been over this.”
“I know. I know.” Ningning didn’t sound especially sincere. “Ask for consent. I remember. Will you please destroy my birth prevention with your explosively powerful jizz missile, Karina?”
“What? I’m not going to do th—”
Ningning growled, clenched her fists in front of her chin, and shook with the kind of rage a momma bear—everybody. Got. The point.
“Damn! Fine!” Karina shouted. “Just… show me your tits so I can get in the mood… maybe.”
Ningning’s entire demeanor shifted from mad momma mammal to cheery Chinese chipmunk at record speed. She spun on her heels and, facing away from Karina, worked to untie the knot holding her shirt together.
Karina huffed, sighed, and lifted her pencil skirt, cinching it around her waist. The look on her face was very much that of one who was done with the situation they’d been forced into. The look on Winter’s face was very much that of one who was on the verge of drooling (again). Karina’s underwear couldn’t contain her enormous dick, so it was, for all intents and purposes, as if she wasn’t wearing any. It hung, bare, against her right leg. Winter marveled at it, wondering how it hadn’t been visible before, since it seemed to reach down further than the skirt had.
As the leader and maknae prepared for what was sure to be a mighty fucking, Giselle walked back over to Winter. She looked strangely impressed. “What a strange turn of events, huh?”
“If you say so.” Winter shrugged. “It seems a little contrived though, like something Rina would write. Oh, but you knew about Karina’s penis too, huh?”
“Haha, hell yeah. It’s fucking awesome, right?” The two high fived each other. Winter immediately regretted high fiving to the objectification of her biggest crush.
Wait, Giselle has seen her cock… Surely, that must have been in the last few days, Winter thought.
Ningning finished untying her shirt, and started turning back around to face Karina with her chest fully exposed. “I hope you know what you’re talking about Giselle, because I really can’t wait until the end of my contract to get knocke—DADDY OF GOD!”
“Ha!” Winter fake-laughed and playfully jabbed Giselle in the rib. “That’s what I said when I first saw it too.”
“You said ‘daddy of god?’” Giselle asked in a mocking tone.
Ningning was on her knees in front of Karina within seconds, lifting the magnificent member to eye level. “Is this real life?”
“Well not exactly.” Winter corrected herself. “I said ‘mother of god,’ not ‘daddy,’”
“Oh, that’s funny. I said ‘mommy.’” Giselle smirked, pulled her desk closer to Winter’s, and sat down.
Rubbing the stress out of her eyes, Karina said, “Yes. It’s real.”
“‘Mommy of god’ or just ‘mommy?’” Winter asked.
Giselle nodded, “‘Mommy of god,’ yeah.”
“And you’ll fuck a baby into me with it?” Ningning’s eyes sparkled.
Karina sighed. “Yeah, I guess. Go ahead and take off your panties.”
“That really is funny,” Winter said, then lowered her voice, “Do you think the first time Karina saw her own cock she said ‘father of god?’ Because if she did, it would be like… full circle, you know? ‘Father, Mother, Mommy, Daddy.’”
“Panties? Why would I be wearing panties?”
“Y-you!” Karina gawked. “Why would you be weari—Why wouldn’t you in a skirt that short?!”
“In case I get pregnant, duh. The baby has to be able to breathe, you psycho.”
Giselle gave Winter a curious look. “That was a weird order to say those in.”
“Well I’m just saying them in the order they happened.” Winter sat back down as well. “Clearly Karina saw her own dick first, then me a little bit ago, then you, and now Ningning.”
“Gorl, I’ve been on that cock for like a year now.”
Winter’s jaw dropped. “‘Been on?’ What’s that mean?”
“You know, like bouncing on it.” Giselle leaned closer and whispered, “Gettin’ fuuucked.”
Winter was glad she was sitting. It wasn’t a surprise that Giselle might have had sex with Karina, but… This… fucking, Winter thought, She… she fucked Karina before me? What a goddamn whore! Of course, it made sense to Winter that Karina would fuck Ningning before fucking her. Karina was being compelled to do so for the sake of saving everybody’s lives. It was a heroic sacrifice that Winter got to watch.
She couldn’t look at Giselle anymore without fuming, so she instead turned her full attention toward Karina and Ningning. Ningning was already on the floor, on her back, with her legs folded almost behind her head. Karina was on her hands and knees, letting Ningning guide her dick.
The scene was actually quite ideal. Winter could watch and maybe deduce what things Karina liked, in a sexual sense. This was just a good experiment, and she wouldn’t let Giselle being a massive Karina-thieving slut ruin her observation. Just because Giselle was a dumb whore who might have taken Karina’s precious virginity while Winter was completely unaware didn’t mean she had to dwell on it while her panties got soaked by watching Karina fuck Ningning who was also quite attractive and had a lovely ass with her beautiful, gorgeous cock and her equally beautiful ass and legs gently guiding herself downward toward the awaiting cavern of—Goddammit Giselle you fucking tramp bitch slut.
Juices subtly bubbled around Karina’s cock as she sunk into Ningning’s pussy.
Winter was torn between her mild disgust at how obscenely wet Ningning was and her not-so-mild horniness. She glanced at Giselle, despite still being disgusted and/or jealous, to see if, perhaps, Giselle was masturbating, in case she could use that as an excuse to begin doing so herself. She was disappointed to see that wasn’t the case. In fact, Giselle was resting her head in her arms like she was going to try to sleep through the scene in front of them.
"OOOH YES, DADDYYY!" Ningning screamed as Karina came close to bottoming out. There was already a small puddle forming under Ningning’s raised butt.
"D-don't… why would you call me that?" Karina asked to entirely no avail, as Ningning only kept screaming.
"OPEN MY CERVIX, DADDY! MAKE BABIES IN ME WITH YOUR HUGE PENIS!"
Winter kicked at Giselle’s desk, offended that a dumb slut wench wouldn’t take interest in the most beautiful woman in the world. "Hey," she whispered, "Hey! Aren’t you going to watch? This was kind of your idea."
Giselle grunted and kicked Winter’s desk in return. "I can hear it just fine."
"But, you're missing out on the action…"
Sitting part-way back up, Giselle revealed her phone in her lap, camera pointed under her desk and toward the aforementioned action. "Oh I'm not missing anything."
"PREGNANT ME!"
“You’re—! You’re recording this?!” Winter hissed.
“Obviously. This was basically my plan all along. The spank bank has been running a little low on funds if you know what I mean.”
Karina turned her head over her shoulder. “What are you guys talking abou—”
“MAKE MY VAGINA A BED AND BREAKFAST!” Ningning was somehow, even with her legs pinned so far over her head, still able to thrust back up into Karina. Winter couldn’t tell who, but one of them squeaked when their pelvises smashed together. Given that Ningning was providing all the evidence in the world that she was a screamer, Winter could only assume the squeak was Karina’s, which made it absolutely adorable. Again, Winter’s imagination ran wild. If she could deepthroat Karina fast enough, suddenly enough, maybe she could hear that same sound again.
Oh fuck, if she did that I would cum on the spot. Wait… Giselle… Spank bank?
Winter very loudly scooted her desk closer to Giselle’s and hushedly repeated her thoughts verbally. “Giselle… Spank bank?”
“Hell yeah, spank bank. If I’m horny without a girl nearby, what else am I gonna do but jill one out?”
“No I get it I know what that is I mean what’s in it?” Winter asked with minimal punctuation.
Giselle smirked and lifted her phone, hitting the stop button on the camera and changing screens a few times at an angle Winter couldn’t see.
“JIZZ IN ME! JIZZ IN ME! JIZZ IN ME!”
“We just started, Ningning! Calm down!”
Winter felt bad that Karina had to deal with a weird semen demon all by herself, but was nonetheless far too invested in seeing whatever Giselle, who was still a stupid little harot to be clear, was about to show her. She shoved her desk even closer, trapping Giselle in place.
“Don’t tell Karina,” Giselle whispered, “but she only knows about half of these, roughly… Ah, this one’s my favorite.”
The concept of Giselle having spank bank-able pictures without Karina’s knowledge gave Winter pause, but her horny mind took over the moment Giselle turned the phone around. Winter gasped. Displayed in the highest of resolutions was a selfie Karina took, lifting one of her breasts with her free hand and sucking on her own nipple.
Heart rate reaching a thousand beats per minute, Winter snatched the phone from Giselle’s hand to get a closer look. She was so engrossed in the image she didn’t register that she was soaking through her panties and onto her desk chair. Even Ningning’s screaming faded into the background.
But Giselle’s words cut through. “And there’s more.”
The urgency with which Winter’s fingers flicked the phone would have appalled her if she had the wherewithal to judge herself. Photo after photo flew by. Giselle’s phone was a perverted pirate’s dream booty’s worth of Karina booty. How?! How can she have all of this?!
Some of the pictures were clearly taken by Karina herself. From the multiple angles of titty sucking, to feet pics, to dildo kissing, to full-body mirror shots of both flaccid penis and erect penis varieties, to outfit show-offs, to a picture of her looking into the camera while eating Giselle out, to awkwardly taken butt shots, to a five second video of her slowly jerking her cock. Some of the pictures seemed dubious, such as a picture of Karina wrapped in a towel walking through their living room in low light, a picture clearly taken through a cracked door of Karina double-penetrating herself with dildos, and one taken in the laundry room, taken from behind as Karina bent over with nothing but panties… Winter squinted at that picture. The butt didn’t look big enough to be Karina’s…
“Giselle, this one isn’t Karina.”
“Oh, uh… let me see. Must have put the normal porn I downloaded in the wrong fold—”
“That’s me!”
Winter dodged Giselle’s attempt to take the phone back. Did she say the wrong folder? She tapped the back button and looked at the folder name, “tits.” One more back button and she was greeted with another, named “best gorls” with three folders inside, titled “tits,” “eyes,” and “flat.”
The subsequent game of Keep-The-Phone-Away-From-Giselle was accompanied by a string of profanity that no author should ever reproduce, and resulted in Giselle’s head stuck in a leglock as they scrambled onto the floor. Winter managed to open the “flat” folder mid-scuffle and found it full of official promotional photos of herself, as well as pictures Giselle clearly took without her permission or awareness that mostly involved Winter in compromising positions and states of undress around the dorm.
Just before Winter could shout to Karina, who seemed otherwise very preoccupied with the screaming and creaming girl she was press-mating, Giselle choked out a “Wait!”
Winter glared down, honoring the last wish of a soon to be dead woman. “What?”
“Don’t say anything! I’ll share!” Giselle strained, face turning red, “All of it!”
A folder full of—Winter hit the back button to check—one thousand four hundred and seventy-three sexually charged pictures and/or videos of Karina minus at least one that was actually of herself surely couldn’t convince Winter to ignore the creepiness and privacy violations required to obtain them. But, when Winter looked to the side, Karina’s colossal, jackhammering cock immediately changed her mind.
“Fine. But I get to delete all of mine.”
“Okay cool.” Giselle’s face was slightly purple. “Also don’t stop, Mommy.”
Winter released her from the leglock. “The hell did you just say?”
Giselle gasped for air, face shifting back to its normal coloration. “I said ‘okay cool also don’t stop mommy.’ Because I wanted you to keep choking me with your beautiful thighs and maybe do other violent and or nasty things to me.”
“RELEASE YOUR EGGS AND LET THEM PENETRATE MY SPERMS, KARINA!”
“That’s not how it works!” Karina shouted.
Winter groaned. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
Winter averted her gaze to stare at the Karina x Ningning action again. She was extremely turned on by the sight. In fact, she was turned on by just about everything that was happening in the room, except for Giselle being a pretty slut between her legs and probably willing to do whatever sexual favors Winter might ask for. Why do you have to be cute too? God… I’m not that gay. Just a lot for Karina… and a little bit gay for Ningning maybe? And if I ever got to fuck Taeyeon, that would be awesome. And there was that one time… Dammit.
Winter never did make good on Karina’s offer to have sex, and she didn’t release any of that pent up energy on anybody else. She must have been affected by the lack of affection. Affection, in this case, being sex.
She sighed heavily, resigning to her horny fate. “How about you just kiss me, Giselle?”
“You got it—Do you mean your face or under the skirt?”
“I mean…” Winter rubbed her eyes with one hand, and touched her panties with the other. They were still quite wet. “Dammit, yeah. Down here.”
Giselle pumped a fist. “Fuck yeah! You won’t regret this, Winter!”
“I already do. Oh and you’re still a harlot and I hate you.”
With minimal effort, Giselle lifted Winter enough to remove the soaked panties, which she tossed back to her own desk, next to her bag. “Hot damn, yes. Call me more smart mean names. OH! And feel free to look through my gallery there, and delete whatever you want, and choke me out with your thighs if any of it makes you like, really mad.”
“Just blow me Giselle.”
Giselle did as she was told, putting Winter’s clit in her mouth and sucking right away.
“FOUR HUNDRED BABIES!”
Winter hummed and laid her head down, doing her best to relax to the calming, spa-like sounds of Ningning’s high-decibel demands for semen. But relaxing was difficult. The floor wasn’t especially comfortable, she was lying to herself about the screaming being calming, and it pissed her off a little bit that Giselle was immediately proving to be good at eating pussy.
There was a silver lining to each negative though. The floor may have been uncomfortable, but she couldn’t deny the incredible view of Karina’s ass. The screams may have been disturbing, but Ningning’s enthusiasm was… arousing. And Winter may have been pissed, but Giselle was really, really good. In fact, she was great. Her lips were soft like Hyungwon’s, her tongue was quick like Jooheon’s, she nuzzled her nose into Winter’s clit like IM, and she squeezed Winter’s thighs the same cute way Kihyun did. Surely, one woman couldn’t be the pussy eating equivalent of an entire boy band.
Winter begrudgingly wove her fingers into Giselle’s hair and scratched lightly, to let Giselle know to keep going the way she was going, and to hopefully get the message across that Giselle was a homewrecking bitch who didn’t deserve Karina’s angelic cock. Giselle moaned at the scratching, which was at least some kind of acknowledgement. Acknowledgement of which part, however, Winter was starting not to care.
“Keep… uh… fuck, god,” Winter muttered. Her hands shook, but she still got Giselle’s phone up to her face. She started tapping the delete button on any pictures of herself she didn’t recognize. Winter couldn’t even remember when she had been watching a movie in the living room without pants, and yet there she was, bare ass cheeks clear as day (through a piece of sheer fabric and between the legs of a coffee table). Do I always sit like that? What was I think—I was thinking we were in private and nobody was staring at my ass!
“GIMME GIMME GIMME YOUR CUM DADDY KARINA YEEES!”
After deleting twenty or thirty dirty pictures, Winter’s mind wandered too far south to think about the pictures anymore. When she looked down, Giselle looked back up, pouting with her eyes, but only doubling her effort on Winter’s pussy. Stupid slut, Winter thought, trying to seduce me with those big, pretty, bedroom eyes and her rebel kid makeup and her stupid, pretty…
“God dammit!” Winter tore her eyes away from Giselle, opting instead to look at the true, ultimate object of her desire, which was definitely Karina, and not Giselle’s stupid face.
“Shit, are you okay? Did I scrape you? I thought I was keeping my teeth—”
“Keep licking, whore!”
Giselle’s mouth instantly engulfed her pussy again, and Winter could feel herself involuntarily smirking.
Sex was in the air itself, and it fueled Winter’s horniness. She watched Karina’s legs as they strained to not only hold her up but bounce her up and down over Ningning. For a moment, she indulged herself in the fantasy of being in Ningning’s place (not that Winter ever indulged in fantasizing normally).
The fantasy didn’t last long though. Karina’s thrusts were becoming erratic. It had only been a few minutes, but it appeared that she was on the verge of orgasm. Winter only saw a bit of her face, but suddenly felt the need to turn on Giselle’s camera again. She got it filming at the perfect moment to catch Karina whimpering. “N-ningning… Fuck I’m gonna—”
“CUM DADDY?! YOU’RE GONNA FILL ME? JIZZ? CREAMY JIZZ CUM IN MY MOMMY WOMB MAKE ME PREGNANT?”
Up until that moment, Winter thought she would never see someone droop their head in shame at the moment of orgasm, but that’s exactly what she saw when Karina’s balls tensed up.
“Yyyeah… I’m cumm—”
“YYYESSS! CUM CUM CUM! GIMME BABY JUICE! BREED MY PUSSY!”
Winter was shocked at the volume of semen that burst out of Ningning, around Karina’s dick. She distinctly remembered struggling to swallow all of it previously. Actually, I didn’t swallow it all, I guess. Some went straight down my throat, then I swallowed some, and then I kissed the last mouthful into Karina… Oh my god, I kissed Karina’s cum into her mouth and made her swallow it… I’m so goddamn awesome. Winter had that exact train of thought at least once a day for the prior week, and it never got old.
No matter how goddamn awesome she was though, Winter still felt jealous watching Karina’s cream pouring. Ningning was getting all of it by being batshit crazy. All Winter had to do was ask. Hell, she could probably lick it off as it passed Ningning’s asshole.
Ningning bit her lip with a smile as Karina pulled out slowly, inch after still-hard inch pulling her further off the floor like a hydraulic jack until popping free. Karina didn’t get far, as Ningning grabbed her by the waist and hooked her legs over Karina’s shoulders. “More? Dreamy daddy cum cum more?”
What little of Karina’s face was visible to Winter revealed terror, so Winter shut off the camera and chimed in. “You know, Ningning, it can take a while for semen to build up in potency. She’s going to need some time to recuperate if you want the maximum chances of making a baby.”
“But how looong?”
The way Ningning said “long” made it sound like a euphemism for Karina’s dick, which was accurate.
“Wwweek—Months, potentially…” Karina sighed. “Yeah, like it jumps from two percent to thirty if you give it a good two months.”
“But that’s… so…”
Winter stopped listening as Ningning started crying. She opened Giselle’s gallery again, and got back to work deleting creep pictures, simultaneously enjoying the apology cunnilingus (Winter assumed it was an apology). Dropped an earbud under the car seat and bent over with her ass up? Deleted. Brushing her teeth in the living room with her nipples poking through her shirt? Deleted. Just a straight up picture of her unwashed panties in a laundry basket? Deleted.
Then Winter passed a selfie Giselle took with her (which Winter was willing to pose for at the time). She remembered that night. They were both a little drunk, and took at least twenty pictures before they settled on one that wasn’t blurry, and neither of them looked like idiots. She scrolled past only to find Giselle had kept them all, twenty-three to be exact. Winter groaned. She didn’t delete the bad ones… They’re just phone pics… It was probably more effort to delete them than organize them…
Trying not to think about it too much, Winter flipped the camera back on and pointed it down at Giselle, snapping a photo while she was too occupied to notice. She navigated back to the gallery and moved the new picture of Giselle’s face between her legs into the “flat” folder, then quickly renamed the folder to “Thighs,” then renamed it again to “PERSONALITY.” Content with the final result, Winter closed the phone, closed her eyes, and laid back again to try and enjoy her treatment.
“Winter? Giselle? What are you doing?”
The cunnilingus stopped, and Winter popped her eyes back open. She stared up at Karina, who was still mid-hug with a quietly sobbing Ningning.
“Uh… nothing! Just, um, demonstrating… your lesson to Giselle. She wanted to, uh, see the urethra up close. So unfortunate how few people know about it.”
“Oh! That was part of my lesson! You retained the information!”
Winter’s heart fluttered at the exhausted pride that shone off of Karina’s cheeks.
“So.” Giselle sat up, adjusting her unkempt clothes to her preferred style of unkemptness. “Ningning. You feeling successfully bred?”
Ningning sniffed. Her lips quivered. “I… I don’t know. Maybe. Do I look bred?”
Giselle stood up and hugged her. “Awww, babe. You look super bred. And sooo super fertile. Do you want some extra fertility tea? I can make you some.”
Transferring her clinging from Karina to Giselle, Ningning gave a sad nod. “Mhm. Can I have another cock after that?”
Karina looked incredulous.
“Of course, honey. Let’s get you that tea to warm up your womb and call around to find you a big juicy cock.” Giselle grabbed her bag from her desk and walked out of the room, arm wrapped around Ningning’s shoulders.
Winter tried to roll her eyes, but stopped when they pointed at Karina’s dick, exposed and dripping a couple of viscous liquids. It was hanging, so Winter assumed it was going soft, but it still nearly touched Karina’s knees.
Following Winter’s eyes down, Karina shoved her skirt back down. The tip of her cock still poked out from the bottom. “Oops. Sorry. Didn’t mean to flash you… I guess you just saw all of that though. Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“No! No, it’s fine. Yeah. You did what you had to do.”
“Yyyup, I guess I did, didn’t I?”
“Definitely, yeah. You joined this precinct to save lives, and by jove that’s exactly what you’re going to do!” Winter chuckled nervously. Why am I nervous? I’m just alone with Karina and just watched her fucking and I can still see her cock and I just want her to throatfuck me.
Karina smiled. “I… don’t get it, but yeah, totally!”
Winter cleared her throat and tried to build up some courage as quickly as possible. “Sooo, Karina. You know, we should really fuck when we get home. Just go for it as soon as you want to. Don’t even… stop?” She gestured wildly, unsure of what to do with her hands, like a news reporter whose teleprompter got taken away. “Push me onto a bed and… pick a hole, right? Don’t… take no for answer. An answer. I’m not tired. I don’t have a headache… So we should definitely have sex as soon as we’re out of here… I mean at home, obviously… How about you say something back to me about it? Like as soon as possible.”
Karina was stuck on pause, the corners of her lips pulled back like she was trying not to laugh. She stayed that way for far, far too long. At least four seconds.
“Oh my god, Karina, respond to my sexual proposition quickly!”
“You’re adorable, you know.” Karina grabbed Winter’s hand and wove their fingers together, turning Winter into Spring faster than an oil company. “I’d be happy to take you up on that. I could use something normal after… today.”
“When you say ‘normal,’” Winter said, pulling herself closer to Karina and into a sort of questioning hug, “are we talking about a blowjob and P-in-V? Or could it be possible to negotiate for, say, a throatpie?”
Karina hummed against Winter’s ear, soaking her panties for the umpteenth time that day. The only difference was that Winter was no longer wearing underwear. She looked over Karina’s shoulder and scowled. Giselle’s bag was gone, and so were her panties. Oh, I am definitely going to choke her out with my thighs.
“I don’t think I can say no to you, Winter, but I don’t actually know what that means.”
Winter smiled. “Let me tell you all about it on the way home… And also demonstrate.”
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sebastian 'baz' calhoun dev
BASIC INFORMATION
FULL NAME: sebastian thomas calhoun NICKNAME(S): seb, bastian, baz PREFERRED NAME(S): baz BIRTH DATE: july 14, 1981 AGE: 40 GENDER: cis male PRONOUNS: he/him ROMANTIC/SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual/romantic NATIONALITY: canadian ETHNICITY: white CURRENT LOCATION: wayfield, bc LIVING SITUATION: a 3 bed, 3 bath townhome near the water that he shares with his daughter and sister.
BACKGROUND
BIRTH PLACE: toronto, on HOMETOWN: toronto, on PLACES LIVED: all over, honestly. 6 months here, 6 months there. the longest he ever lived anywhere was 5 years in ottawa and 4 in vancouver. SOCIAL CLASS: upper middle EDUCATION LEVEL: masters in [blowhorn noises] FATHER: joseph calhoun, 72 MOTHER: claire calhoun, 70 SIBLING(S): jenna, 35 and harper, 30. BIRTH ORDER: baz, jenna, harper CHILDREN: ivy calhoun, 12 PET(S): none currently but ivy's banking hard on getting a dog and baz will probably cave. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: none PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: a string of failed relationships, including his marriage to ivy's mother, none of which bother him at all because he's moved on. ARRESTS: no PRISON TIME?: no
OCCUPATION & INCOME
PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: freelance work as [blow horn noises] SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: n/a TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: n/a CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THEREOF): it's been a long road to get to a place where freelance work can be a primary source of income for baz and he's really happy with it because it lets him be around more for ivy PAST JOB(S): many, many, many service jobs before "graduating" to corporate which he loathed but made good money at. SPENDING HABITS: fairly frugal. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: probably the television in his living room, honestly.
SKILLS & ABILITIES
PHYSICAL STRENGTH: A+ OFFENSE: B DEFENSE: B+ SPEED: B- INTELLIGENCE: A ACCURACY: A- AGILITY: A STAMINA: A+ TEAMWORK: A+ TALENTS: he honestly doesn't think he has any but he's good at math (take that, math homework!) and multitasking SHORTCOMINGS: he tends to take things a little too seriously, though he blames this on being a dad, tends to not know when to take breaks LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, french DRIVE?: yes JUMP START A CAR?: yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: no PLAY CHESS?: not very well BRAID HAIR?: by virtue of having a daughter, yes TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: yes
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS
FACE CLAIM: eric winter EYE COLOR: blue HAIR COLOR: brown HAIR TYPE/STYLE: close cut, more shaved on the sides than the top, rarely styled in any significant sort of way. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: no DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 6'2 WEIGHT: 175 lbs BUILD: athletic EXERCISE HABITS: he goes to the gym pretty consistently, less because he wants to work out and maintain and more because he likes the way he feels after SKIN TONE: more tan than pale TATTOOS: no PIERCINGS: no MARKS/SCARS: none NOTABLE FEATURES: intense stare only exacerbated by those blue eyes, wide smile when it happens USUAL EXPRESSION: a slight resting bitch face but unintentionally so CLOTHING STYLE: 90% casual, jeans, casual sneakers, opened button downs over tshirts, henleys, casual jackets, workout hoodies JEWELRY: a watch ALLERGIES: none DIET: he will eat what he wants, in moderation, but will indulge in some things every once in a while PHYSICAL AILMENTS: none
PSYCHOLOGY
ENNEAGRAM TYPE: 8 MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral TEMPERAMENT: melancholic ELEMENT: earth PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: intrapersonal MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: anxiety, mostly relating to his abilities as a father and doing what's right for ivy SOCIABILITY: with the right people, he's fairly sociable but don't expect him to be that way if you've just met him for the first time EMOTIONAL STABILITY: fairly strong, not one to let his emotions guide him unnecessarily but prone to letting them take over when certain people are involved or situations arise OBSESSION(S): none COMPULSION(S): none PHOBIA(S): none ADDICTION(S): none DRUG USE: no ALCOHOL USE: socially PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: no
MANNERISMS
SPEECH STYLE: fully enunciated, clipped if he's less than happy ACCENT: none QUIRKS: he's worn the same watch every day since he got it 15 years ago HOBBIES: pretty well anything his daughter is interested in he'll pick up in an effort to understand the things she likes even if it means dropping it in six months bc she's no longer interested HABITS: chewing on his bottom lip, chewing on pen caps NERVOUS TICKS: none DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: making sure ivy is happy and well rounded, not screwing up his freelance job. FEARS: something happening to ivy, not being a good father. probably the top two and most important, everything else is unimportant POSITIVE TRAITS: adaptable, compassionate, decisive, disciplined, hardworking, objective, loyal NEGATIVE TRAITS: blunt, cautious, strong willed. SENSE OF HUMOR: 50% dad humour, 50% dry humour DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: tries not to around his kid but otherwise he's a believer in the right curse word adding emphasis to certain thoughts
FAVORITES
ACTIVITY: spending time with his daughter doing whatever it is she wants to do ANIMAL: dogs BEVERAGE: orange juice BOOK: not an entirely voracious reader but the classics are good CELEBRITY: celebrity culture sucks COLOR: forest green DESIGNER: no FOOD: a good sandwich FLOWER: ehh not really GEM: no HOLIDAY: christmas MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: car MOVIE: honestly anything as long as it's not disney MUSICAL ARTIST: journey, pink floyd, aerosmith. classic rock ftw QUOTE/SAYING: your life isn't yours if you always care what other people think SCENERY: lush and green SCENT: anything clean, fresh cut grass SPORT: hockey SPORTS TEAM: canucks TELEVISION SHOW: anything funny WEATHER: warm and sunny VACATION DESTINATION: anywhere. it's been a long time since he's been on a vacation
ATTITUDES
GREATEST DREAM: honestly he's pretty content with his life, for the most part. he's not sure he even has a greatest dream. GREATEST FEAR: something happening to ivy or his family MOST AT EASE WHEN: around his kid, with people he trusts LEAST AT EASE WHEN: around people he doesn't know well WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: anything happening to ivy BIGGEST REGRET: nah, no regrets. life is too short for that. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: literally any time he's been roasted by his twelve year old BIGGEST SECRET: none really TOP PRIORITIES: ivy, his family, his job, everything else after that
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CHARACTER TASK # 002 ⟶ ( @rocketfm )
throw my hands up ‘cause i had enough , it's coming to a head , like it always does ; come and show me what you're made of . all that we sacrifice for love , blowing up when push comes to shove . gotta have it out like fight club . and i love the way you think you're always right but we never talk it out , we're just up all night . let's take it out of the dark and into the light , ‘cause i don't want the drama , i just want the fight .
ORIGINS & FAMILY:
Full Name: Fletcher Xin Liu / Liu Xin
Reason for name: ‘Fletcher‘ - french origin, maker of arrows. His mother was in charge of naming the children, as Shen was the one passing down the family name. ‘Xin’ - chinese origin , beautiful & elegant . ‘Liu‘ - chinese origin , willow tree .
Nickname(s): Fletch
Date of Birth: 2nd December 1990
Age: Thirty
Gender + Pronouns: Male + He/Him
Place of birth: Singapore, China
Parents: Shen Liu ( father ) & Drew Liu ( mother )
Siblings: Ziggy Liu
Relationship with family: He’s close to Ziggy and loves his mother, but the relationship between Fletcher and his father is a little frayed. It’s easier for them not to engage with each other to prevent upset.
Pets: None
PHYSICAL:
Height: 6′2″
Build: Athletic, lean
Nationality: Dual Chinese + American
Ethnicity: Chinese, White
Distinguishing Facial Features: High cheekbones, dimples .
Hair Color: Black
Usual Hair Style: Slicked back
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Complexion: A scattering of moles, otherwise flawless .
Disabilities: None
What do they consider their best feature?: His muscles , especially the abdominal region , and his smile .
Worst they’ve ever been injured: There are countless injuries he’s sustained through his fight club, the worst being the odd broken bone or internal bleeding. Wounds often begin superficial but, thanks to his reluctance to attend the ER, spiral out of control.
APPEARANCE:
Favorite outfit: Leather jacket , ripped jeans , ribbed white vest & combat boots .
Glasses? Contacts?: Neither
Personal Hygiene: As he’s in a rather active job Fletcher showers once , if not twice , a day .
Jewelry? Tattoos? Piercings?: Multiple tattoos over his entire body, including his hands.
What does their voice sound like?: Low pitched , gravelly and intimidating .
Style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.): Articulate & well spoken .
Accent?: American.
Unique mannerisms/physical habits: Rubbing his hands together , cracking his knuckles .
Left handed or right?: Right
Do they work out/exercise?: Yes , often - it’s a huge part of his job .
BELIEFS & INTELLECT:
Known Languages: Mandarin, English
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Gifts/talents: Extremely athletic, brown belt at karate.
Religious stance: Athiest
Political stance: He’d rather not.
Pet peeves: Laziness
Optimist or pessimist: Optimist
Extrovert or introvert: Extrovert
INTIMACY & RELATIONSHPS:
Relationship status: It’s complicated
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Ideal mate/qualities they look for in mate: Short, feisty, adventurous, active, alternative.
Ever been in love?: Only once.
What’s their love language?: Having a partner in crime.
Most important person in their life?: Ziggy Liu
VOCATION:
Level of education: High School Graduate
Profession: Sergeant in the US military.
Past occupations: Food truck cook, paper boy, personal trainer.
Dream occupation: Martial Arts instructor.
Passions: Martial arts, family.
Attitude towards current job: It pays the bills, but he wishes he could be more involved in the action rather than stationed in a job that doesn’t bring him any excitement.
Spender or Saver? Why?: Spender, he has enough disposable income that he doesn’t have to worry so much .
Which is more important – money or doing something they love?: Money. Always money.
SECRETS:
Phobias: Losing the ones he loves.
Life goals: To make his father proud.
Greatest fears: Disappointing his father, losing Ziggy.
Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her: Fletcher is very rarely embarrassed , but a few times in training he’s fallen flat on his face in front of onlookers. They’re usually scared into silence when he makes eye contact.
Something they’ve never told anyone: That he really did love her.
Biggest regret: Not being able to tell Winter how he really felt.
Police/Criminal/Legal record: Clean - it has to be. I’m sure if he got caught for some of his shadier activities , though , that this wouldn’t stay clean for very long.
Vices: Smoking
PREFERENCES:
Hobbies: Fighting, working out, watching sport.
Favorite color: Black, and no he won’t consider that as not being a color .
Favorite smell: Wet paint, gasoline.
Favorite food: Anything his mother cooks.
Favorite book: The Road - Cormac McCarthy
Favorite movie: 30 Days Of Night
Favorite song: I Come With Knives - IAMX
Coffee or tea?: Coffee
Favorite type of weather: Morning dew just after it’s rained.
Most prized possession:
Most used word or phrase?: Not necessarily a phrase, but he has a tendency to refer to people by their surnames .
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the kids are alright | adam, ariana, athena, blanche, connor, nell, orion, & winston
TIMING: a few days before the full moon. LOCATION: connor’s beach house. PARTIES: @walker-journal, @letsbenditlikebennett, @athenaquinn, @harlowhaunted, @connorspiracy, @nelllraiser, @3starsquinn, @danetobelieve SUMMARY: just a truly wholesome and youthful time.
Connor didn’t know what everyone liked, so he tried to get a little of everything; chips, dip, beers, spirits (no pun intended), and a few takeout menus scattered around in case they wanted to order. The house wasn’t huge by any means, but one thing he prided himself on was having a bloody good entertainment system, complete with several consoles and a massive telly. They’d have some fun. Watch some shit movies, play some Mario Party, forget that the world outside was shit, at least for a few hours. As the first knock at the door came, he headed over to answer it. “Hey, welcome. Come on in. Make yourself at home. Telly and consoles are obviously in here, but we have this bit of beach as well if we decide we want to take it outside.”
While Ariana wasn’t sure of who all would be in attendance tonight, she knew she hadn’t wanted to leave Athena back at the apartment. Especially with everything that had happened recently, she knew they could both use a fun evening. When she knocked on the door, she smiled brightly as Connor greeted them and introduced him to Athena. “I think I’ll skip testing my luck with the beach, I’m more interested in seeing how I can build a new entertainment system for ya anyway,” she turned to Athena and said, “This is my friend Athena. Athena, this is Connor. You may have seen some of his YouTube videos.” She held up a bag and added, “We brought some extra snacks, too.”
She wasn’t entirely sure that she was up for a party, but she also knew that she didn’t want to be all by herself with her thoughts. So when Ariana had offered to bring her along to the party, Athena had quickly agreed. “Hi.” She waved to Connor from where she was standing behind Ariana. “I don’t watch a lot of YouTube outside of some videos about baking, or science, or one of my sorority sisters has a vlog channel, so I’m subscribed to that… but still! Nice to meet you.” She grinned, and it still didn’t feel entirely comfortable, but she knew that she had to get back to the usual routine to some degree sooner or later. She nodded over at the bag Ariana was holding up, using that time to look around the house. Her fingers, bare except for one with a golden ring that Amanda had gotten her for her birthday, found her cross necklace and she twisted it around, a bit out of a nervous habit. “Thanks for letting me come, it looks like you have a really nice place.”
“Always love a good snack,” Connor teased. “That’s why Adam’s coming.” Pity that boy was so painfully heterosexual. “Hi, love,” he greeted as Ariana introduced Athena. “Nice to meet you. Nobody else is here yet, but come on in, have a drink, let Ariana check out my furniture…” He gave a little chuckle, helping himself to a beer.
Nell and Blanche had arrived in tandem, sporting their matching ‘burn your bra’ crop tops in a yin and yang color scheme with Nell in black, and one of her best friends in white. As she walked through the open front door, an amused grin cracked her lips as she saw Blanche and her hadn’t been the only ones to have a similar idea. “Well I’m glad we all got the memo,” she said with a nod towards Athena and Ariana’s complimentary jerseys, knowing full well there had been no such thing. Then she was raising a hand to wave a group greeting towards everyone, and presenting the plate she’d brought. “I brought these- they’re brownies obviously, but the kind that might make you astral project a couple planes over.” Probably stuffed with enough homegrown pot to get an elephant high, they were a staple when it came to party favors.
Orion had been to Connor’s on quite a few occasions now. Since the two had first met up at the old haunted house that Rio had grown up learning about, the two had hung fairly often while Rio helped film and edit videos every now and again. He was still clearly a beginner, but either Connor was desperate for the help or just enjoyed Rio’s company. He came hand in hand with Winston, overly excited for the night. Ever since his birthday, people seemed to walk on pins and needles around him and he didn’t know how to convince him that he was completely fine without potentially coming across as a sociopath. “Connor’s place is nice! He has a really cool set up for editing videos. Maybe you two can geek out about computer stuff together?” Rio grinned as the two made towards the front door.
Connor took a look at everyone’s outfits. “Well, if you brought bras to burn, I already mentioned we’ve got the beach for a little campfire,” he teased. “And Nell, maybe we let people settle in for a bit before getting high on brownies, yeah?” He gave her a playful grin. “But I like the way you think.” There was another ring from the doorbell, and he momentarily excused himself to go answer. It was Rio and his roommate. Holding hands. Cool. “Hey, you made it,” he greeted, smiling over at Rio. “Did you know we were supposed to coordinate? Everyone else has come dressed in pairs,” he teased, then looked to Winston. “Hi. Nice to meet ya. I’m Connor. Come on in.” He led them inside to the rest of the group. Now that almost everyone had arrived, he made sure everyone had a drink and knew where the snacks were, and where the bathroom was. “Just waiting for Adam then. For movies we’ve got pretty much anything that’s on Netflix, Prime, Hulu, or anything I can illegally download.”
Glancing around the room, Winston shot Nell and Blanche a knowing smile before keeping their hands tightly interlaced with Orion’s. Things seemed to have relatively blown over with Athena, the fact that she was here with Ariana was a separate matter. “Thanks for the invite, if I’d known we were supposed to coordinate I’d have joined in but I guess we’re always the last to hear about these fun facts…” Winston gave a gentle smile before continuing into the house. They were about to mention that they were pretty sure they could connect Connor’s place up to the database in their home, but they weren’t sure that they wanted to potentially share any info that was not entirely secure. “Adam’s coming too? This really is going to be a party.” Winston just hoped he wasn’t armed with assault rifles and grenades this time.
“Hey guys,” Blanche gave a wave. She hadn't expected Athena to be here, but then again, she also hadn't expected Rio either, especially after… everything. But she wasn't one to judge when people needed to blow off steam. “I would highly recommend the brownies. Once, you know, we’ve all settled in.” She nudged Nell playfully. “I have a 12 pack of beer too if anyone wants a drink.” She set it down on an end table, before curiously eyeing the TV. “Alright then, why don't we focus on picking a movie while we wait for Adam -” would he roll in with kegs like he did at Nic’s party? She fought back a snide internal comment, reminding herself that she promised to rewind for the evening, and honestly… she was so tired of being angry. Not just at Adam, but with everyone. “What genre are we feeling? Horror?” she asked, hopefully.
It seemed like she and Athena hadn’t been the only ones who showed up matching. Ariana waved to Blanche and Nell appreciating their crop tops. She stood up to grab some drinks for her and Athena though she was pretty sure she’d be skipping out on the brownies. She’d never tried them before and wasn’t sure a big group of people was the place to start. “I’ll take you up on one of those beers. Did you want one, Athena?” At the mention of horror movies, Ariana shrugged. “Sounds a little close to real life, but I’m down.”
She figured that her brother was going to be here. Athena gave a small, half-wave to Rio, though she didn’t look over at him for too long. They hadn’t been together since everything and she still wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. The idea of the brownies wasn’t especially appealing, even if part of her wondered if Nell’s addition to it was a bit more magical than most. “Uh, sure.” She said, looking at Ariana. “If there’s cider I’d prefer that but beer can do.” She waved at Nell and Blanche. “Nice matching.” It didn’t hurt to at least appear pleasant, and she could only do so much to calm down her nerves - getting into an argument wasn’t going to help with any of that. “What horror films? I can’t say I’m super expert on that genre.” Ironically enough.
There was the sound of a large truck pulling up and a loud bawdy conversation on the street about someone being manscaped with a weedwacker, only for said someone to shout back an incoherent taunt about some physically impossible things Adam’s mother engaged in last night. More voices joined in the from the truck until it was unclear where mothers, weedwhackers, body hair, contortionist sex positions, chocolate fudge, and lighter fluid all fit into this. However all involved seemed to part even more cheerful than before and the car departed.
Sporting a letterman jacket and a red baseball cap with faint stains of a deeper scarlet, Adam burst in smelling faintly of lock-room soap and the lingering grass scent of the football field.
Still flush with post-practice endorphins, Adam vaulted over the back of the nearest free couch as if it were a track hurdle and crashed down into the open seat.
“Sup my bodacious bastards?”
"Horror is good by me. Blair Witch or something? Could always go with Scream. Classic slasher." Connor grabbed a cider for himself. He had bought enough so that nobody needed to bring their own, but it was a nice gesture. It wasn't long before Adam turned up. You really couldn't miss him. "Life of the party, I see," Connor greeted. "The loud-mouthed jock of my dreams,” he teased, his grin flashing all the way up to his eyes. “Want a beer mate? We were just deciding on a movie."
Nell abandoned her pot filled brownies on the coffee table, grabbing a few drinks after waving a welcome to Winston and Orion, and first offering one to Blanche with a “For you” before taking another. Then she plopped herself down on the same couch before also handing one to Adam should he want it. “And here you go, ‘bodacious’;” she said with a slight snort. Nell couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t a bit worried to have the two of them in the same place after Winn’s death, but maybe alcohol was another key factor in glossing all of that over for the moment being. She popped open the top of her own bottle with a household spell, realizing she’d forgotten a bottle opener before taking a swig of it. “I’m right here,” she joked at the mention of Blair Witch, even if she knew it was less about witches and more about general spookiness.
Swallowing a mouthful of beer, Winston watched Adam enter the room. This was not your classic set up, hunters, werewolves, exorcists, spellcasters and god knew what else. But they were their friends and Winston was doing their best to be more normal in their endeavours and their life. “Not everything is about you Nell sweetie,” Winston reached down and plucked a brownie from the plate, tentatively nibbling on it and smiling. Thank God they weren’t driving tonight. “I’ve heard that Midsommar is meant to be really good, Heritage too. Not sure if any of those appeal to you. They’re meant to be more nordic or something? I don’t know. I read something about them a while back.”
The place was full of familiar faces, and maybe for the first time Orion found himself at what could basically be considered a party surrounded completely by people that he considered friends. Or at least, friends plus one very odd addition in the first of his twin sister. She stuck close with Ariana. The pair still baffled Rio, seeing them together and matching was even more jarring. Coupled with Blanche and Nell wearing the same thing maybe Rio and the others really had missed some sort of memo. Athena’s small wave was maybe a step, but not much of one. Rio returned the wave, both of them turning their backs to each other as Rio made his way to the kitchen, pondering whether or not he was going to drink. He decided to go for it after a long moment’s hesitation and picked a cider, “It’s someone’s job to make sure I don’t get drunk. I have an embarrassingly small tolerance.” He said aloud to no one in particular, only sort of joking and then found his way to the couch where Adam had just leapt over, “A cult movie may be hitting a bit close to home, don’t you think?” Rio laughed, but shrugged the concern away, “It looks pretty though. I’m down for anything.”
Connor was pretty indifferent to any drama that might have existed between anyone in the group, so he didn’t pay any mind to Blanche’s reaction to Adam. "Yes, Nell, you're our White Crest witch, very different," Connor teased. Since everyone was here, it wouldn't do any harm to grab a brownie. He'd just have to pace himself. "Oh shit, if we're talking 'high brow' horror," he made little air quotes around the words, "Hereditary and Midsommar would be sick. Get Out, too. I just figured we'd probably want something we can get pissed and stoned to and not pay that much attention," he snickered. "Oh, there's also Happy Death Day and The Babysitter if we want newer Netflix shit." He shrugged, sipping his drink. “I’m not fussed though. Whatever anyone else wants to watch.”
It was good to see Adam in seemingly better spirits than the last time she saw him. Ariana still felt a twinge of guilt that her trust in others had nearly led to his death, but he was here now and they were all going to have a good time. “Hey, Adam,” she greeted with a wave as he swung over the couch. She looked back to Athena with a small smile and said, “Cider it is.” She made her way to the kitchen and chimed in, “I’m not sure Winston, I’m pretty sure Nell took a DNA test and she’s 100% that witch.” She grabbed a beer for herself and a cider for Athena. It dawned on her that she hadn’t seen any of the movies mentioned but she laughed a bit over the cult part. “I’ve seen like none of those, so I’m good with whatever.” She slid back into her seat by Athena and handed her a cider. “Here you go,” she said brightly. She knew Athena was still down over everything that happened and she wanted this to be a nice night for both of them. Hell, she was pretty sure everyone in this room needed a break from White Crest being White Crest and she wanted that for all of them.
She gave a small wave to Adam as he arrived. At least he seemed to be in relatively good spirits, which was something. “How’s it going Adam?” She raised an eyebrow. “This feels a little different than our usual sort of party, doesn’t it?” Athena nodded at Ariana’s comment, watching as she went over to grab the drinks. “One of my sisters is a sociology and film double major and wrote a paper about Get Out - she had us all watch it so I actually have seen that, but I can’t say I’m too familiar with the others.” She did know that if anything was too full of jump scares she might react poorly, but that was what fiddling with the hem of her shirt was for, wasn’t it? She accepted the cider from Ariana and took a sip. “Whatever everyone else wants to go with.” She couldn’t help but sigh when she noticed that her brother had the same drink as her, though only a small smile covered her lips.
Connor had a big grin on his face as they drank and chatted. It had been a while since he'd had a proper group of friends like this. He had friends, of course, but high school and college he'd still been coming into his own as a medium and starting up his YouTube channel. People thought he was kind of weird. In White Crest, he wasn't weird at all. He was probably one of the most normal. "Okay, we're gonna have to take votes on the movie," he snickered, smoking his vape. "Probably something on the less serious side of things, yeah? We've got enough shit going on. Happy Death Day or The Babysitter are both on Netflix." He got a feeling there was a little more going on with the ‘serious’ side of things than he knew about, but he didn’t want to stick his nose into other people’s business. This night was about relaxing, not rehashing the bad shit.
Adam had once been taught that he’d been born to stand apart from humanity, amongst but not a part of it. The preservation of mankind’s destiny required forsaking anything that’d inhibit neutrality or cause a Hunter to become entangled in disputes between human beings. Thus Adam had grown up play-acting, his life during the day just a pleasant cover identity for who he really was.
Now it was all he was.
This reversal tugged at Adam as he watched his friends banter and meander on the way to actually choosing a movie. All his life Adam had been told to focus, remain vigilant against the inevitable return of the old gods. Was that why he lost his powers? Focusing too much on enjoying humanity’s company instead of protecting it?
These and other thoughts whirled behind Adam’s grin as he accepted the beer. “Glad my beach body lives rent free in your head Con,” Adam replied with a wink to Connor at the mention of being the jock of his dreams.
“Dunno about Happy Death Day, I’ve had about enough dead chick drama for a while.”
Adam ‘thought’ for a moment, which is to say he took a few glugs of beer like a man dying of thirst in the desert and went with the first idea that popped up in his brain when the alcohol hit his system.
“Let’s do truth or dare while we decide? Bet that should be a trip with well...us”
Blanche had a hold on the remote, somewhat zoning out while people debated the choice in movie. She was doing that more, lately, but she had always been easily distracted. That was more because ghosts though. Only at the mention of Truth or Dare did Blanche snap out of it. Leaning against the armrest, she took a sip of her beer, glancing over at Adam. Considering it a moment, she put the remote down. “I'm down for a game of Truth or Dare,” she said, glancing around. Was this what all parties were like? She looked over at Nell, almost a little unsure for a second. “Sounds like fun?”
In all honesty, Nell much preferred the concept of Truth or Dare in comparison to a movie. At this rate with all the strangeness that made its home in White Crest, horror flicks were nearly laughable at times. Besides- Truth or Dare was probably something that demanded more attention, which was a welcome distraction from current stressors. And that was the whole point of this get together, wasn’t it? Giving Blanche a reassuring nod, Nell sat straighter on the couch as if readying herself for the game. “Let’s do it.” She took another draw of her drink before looking around the circle with a new and challenging glint in her eyes. “Who wants to go first?”
“Truth or Dare? That’s on Netflix as well,” Connor said, flicking through the horror suggestions until he found it. Only a few clicks in did he realise that wasn’t what Adam had been referring to. “Oh, did you mean the actual game?” He laughed, just switching to a music playlist in the background and folding his feet under him while he made himself comfy on the sofa. “Wait a minute, I’m down and everything, but someone’s gonna have to explain what rules we’re playing by. Everyone does ‘em different.”
Truth or dare sounded like the worst idea possible. Orion did not consider himself to be a very daring person by nature. But at the rate life had been going the last month, he wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of answering any truths either. Not that he was far bound to answer truthfully anyways... unless that was a thing in White Crest. Regardless, the result terrified him. But the Rio here tonight wanted to be the okay version of Rio. The one not bogged down by the death of his parents. So he took a long drink from the cider and wiped at his mouth, making the gesture overly dramatic to try to hide the soured look he gave from the taste of alcohol. “Me. I’ll go first. Dare me.” This was absolutely a bad idea, but Rio had gotten pretty good at those. “Oh. Rules?” Rio heard what Connor questioned, but had never played the game before. “Cool. Well explain the rules and then dare me.”
This was just about the last game that Athena wanted to play. Even if she chose truth, which she wasn’t planning to, she could still omit certain aspects of it. It came along with her training and she didn’t trust most people here enough to reveal any deep secrets. So dares it would be - and it seemed like her brother was following the same path. “I mean, different versions are different but you get asked truth or dare - if it’s truth, someone can ask you any question about anything,” she raised an eyebrow at him, “and if it’s dare then you have to do whatever they ask. There’s sometimes consequences for not completing either.” She took a sip of her drink. “But dare? Since you’re new at this, we can start easy. I dare you to drink the rest of your cider in under a minute.” She crossed her legs. “Whoever’s up next, I also choose dare.”
Orion was surprised that Athena had been the first one to dare him. She had even been pretty lenient, daring him to just finish his drink. Easier said than done to a complete lightweight who had no experience drinking, but as far as the things he could have been dared to do this felt like he was getting off easily. “Done.” He had seen the movies before, so Rio kneeled down on one knee and tipped the bottle against his mouth, chugging as fast as he could. The drink instantly turned bitter against his tongue and he thought it would never end. But if he could survive his birthday he could finish a cider. He finally finished the thing off with an explosive coughing followed by him falling back on his butt. “I’m totally not going to puke.” He wasn’t sure if he was telling everyone that or trying to convince himself not to.
Adam stood up from the couch and strode to the far side of the room, gingerly stepping over and around people so as to not crunch knees or beers. He took an empty solo cup and placed it on a piece of furniture. The footballer knelt next to the door and produced a small grip-exercise ball. He offered the little squishy ball to Athena with a grin..
“I dare you to close your eyes and try to throw this call in the cup. Take a shot each time you miss.”
Adam performed another one-handed vault over the back of the into his seat, but the alcohol and post-practice endorphins in his system caused the Hunter to land far more ignominiously in a heap of sinewy limbs and cushions.
“Truth”
“Easy-peasy.” Athena smirked, before standing up. She handed her cider to Ariana and grabbed the ball from Adam. “I’ve got this no problem.” She took the ball and closed her eyes, concentrating on the location of the solo cup before rolling her shoulders and giving a small toss, eyes flickering open as she heard it hit the inside. She turned around, walking by Adam before bending over to whisper in his ear. “I do have excellent reflexes, just to remind you.” She found her space back by Ariana again. “Feeling rather successful right now, I think.”
”Wow, nice!” Connor enthused as Athena hit the shot. “I’ve got a truth,” he blurted out, feeling the effects of his drink and Nell’s magic brownies, a pleasant tingling sensation overtaking his body. “Have you never done anything even the slightest bit gay? Because honestly, only the most heterosexual guy ever could have not understood those sword crossing comments,” he laughed at the memory. Ah, simpler times, when he didn’t know that half these people were murderers and there weren’t freshly resurrected evil spirits out to get them. Then again, Connor was starting to get the impression that stuff was common in White Crest. Best not get too comfortable. “And you can truth or dare me all you want. I’m not bothered, mate.”
Ariana watched somewhat in awe as Athena performed her dare. It was definitely impressive to watch and she couldn’t help the small grin on her face as Athena came back over to take her seat by her. “That was awesome,” she said as she gave Athena a small pat on the back. There was another dare to be dished out so she quickly chimed in, “Connor, I dare you to do a dance challenge as your next YouTube video. I’m thinking the In My Feelings Challenge.” She realized that meant it was her turn, so she added, “I pick dare for myself.”
“A Dance Challenge?” Connor snorted, waving his hand, affectionately dismissive. “That’s not my style, babe. Oh, I could definitely do it on TikTok though. You didn’t say which platform it had to be on.” He whipped out his phone, looking up a couple. “I can probably film it right now, since I’m tipsy, but you’ll have to hold my phone.” He looked up a few examples then got up, only a little wobbly on his feet. “I have no fucking idea how to do this shit,” he laughed, looking over to Ariana and handing her his phone. He’d watched a few versions of the thing he was trying to recreate. “Ready?”
Adam hadn’t been raised with particularly strong feelings on different sexualities other than that they existed. Really, Dad had been far more concerned that his sons knew the proper masculine values of honor, wilderness survival, coordinated squad tactics, and the domestic arts of building explosives from homemade materials rather than getting hung up on what dangly bits were going where.
“Uh,” Adam thought about Conner’s question. “Was never really wired that way, but after I pledged I was curious bout what I was missing,” the footballer acknowledged with a shameless ease. “Talked to some frat brothers who were all about that life, and they uh…showed me around…in the showers.”
“Was kinna funnish-awkward,” he admitted with a shrug, “but not really my speed…. not sure that lgeit counts as gay though. It was just educational, y’know?”
Nell saw her opportunity as it became Ariana’s turn for a dare, and leaned forward on the couch to set down her now empty bottle on the table, feeling a nice, warm buzz as the alcohol began to do its work. She hummed for a moment, as if taking her time to come up with a suitable enough dare for the girl. Ariana knew how to go big or go home— which admittedly was something the two of them had in common. “I dare you to....” Then the idea came to her. What was the most horrendous thing that White Crest had to offer? “Match with a mime on Tinder. Match with the mime- and have at least five back and forths of texts.” Then Nell sat back, satisfied with her work to say, “And I’ll take a dare.”
“Educational and gay,” Connor nodded. “Sorry I missed it.” He made sure Ariana was ready to record and then going into the routine. He pretty much nailed it. Although he was a little drunk, it was evident that the experience and intent behind the moves was there. “Did I forget to mention I did ballet and theatre for years?” He winked into the camera before grabbing it for Ari so he could edit and laugh. “Aw, that was sick. Sorry, what was that?” His expression changed when he heard what Nell’s dare was. “There are mimes on tinder?”
Ariana whooped and cheered into the camera as Connor finished showing off his moves. She tilted her head surprised by his revelation. “That explains the moves,” she said with a laugh, “Gotta respect a guy who knows ballet, right?” As Nell took the chance to dare her, she looked to her with a raised brow that was practically challenging her to do her worst. She burst out laughing at the thought of mimes on Tinder. “Oh god,” she said through laughs, “Blanche get over here and help me mime-ify my Tinder.” It was only a few back and forth messages. Hopefully, the profile update wouldn’t ruin future matches, but she found she was losing interest in it anyhow, especially with her current roommate. “I’m thinking more dramatic and artsy to go with the mime vibe?”
“Nell!” Blanche said, “That's cruel!” But she was laughing. She pushed herself to her feet, though, and carefully made her way to grab Ariana’s phone. “Artsy, got it.” A Connoisseur of Mime. Don't talk to me if you don't mime. And if you do mime… you know what to do ;-----). Blanche read over what she wrote, before she grinned, hanging the phone back to Ariana. “Happy swiping!” Which meant… Blanche turned to Nell, a mischievous smile on her face. “In order to get revenge for poor Ariana… I dare you to call the Stripe Club to inquire about employment opportunities and if you get an interview, you gotta go.” Blanche said proudly.
She paused, considering her own options. “Truth. For me, I mean.”
“There are definitely mimes on Tinder,” Nell confirmed with a grin, having seen some of them for herself during perusals of the app. “Maybe Ari will find her true love with a mime, who knows?” It was disturbing to say the least, though sometimes she’d match with a mime just to troll them for a while. After all— every mime was guilty by association. She should have expected the mimery to be turned back on her, but still pulled a revolted face at the thought of going anywhere near a mime establishment. “If I die- it’s your fault,” she pointed an accusing finger towards Blanche all while googling the number for the Stripe Club. She wasn’t sure who exactly it was that asked Blanche her truth while Nell began her job search at a mime strip club and Ariana commenced her swiping. Someone was leaning over to watch the dance video Connor had made, and another person was getting up to grab another drink from the fridge. The air was warm and bright as the night stretched onwards, and it seemed that against all odds the youth of White Crest had finally managed to find a single evening where they were allowed to exist only as themselves, and not the people the world forced them to be.
#wickedswriting#chatzy#the kids are alright#ch:adam#ch:ariana#ch:athena#ch:blanche#ch:connor#ch:orion#ch:winston
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Raizo Reactions (Are Amazing)
I mean it. They perfectly encapsulate everything about every single one of these characters. Assuming that you find Law's most defining characteristic to be "constant disappointment in how his life/plans are going".
From The Strawhats That Still Retain Boyish Wonder:
Pure Despair
They aren't even trying to hide their level of disappointment. I mean, you guys, just a reminder: Chopper once accidently - in an act of love and nativity - killed the one man he considered family. But this here? This is what has made him pass out from utter heartbreak.
This ninja is just not up to his standards.
From A Mihawk Trained, Mihawk Approved Roronoa Zoro:
Well, that's the last fuck I give.
Look, during his time not wasted being heterosexual studying the blade under Mihawk, Zoro learned a lot of things. Most of them bring me great joy, then there is how he learned to cut through the strongest substance known to man:
~emotions~
From Trafalgar The-D-Stands-For-Disappointment-As-In-Life-Is-A-Constant-D-To-Me Waters Law:
Just...
And maybe you don't think that's a lot, but this is Trafalgar Fucking Law we're dealing with. Expert at looking cool, whether it's a smug as fuck Sabaody style chill or the silent badass in a billowing coat Dressrosa sort of frigid yet fabulous, Law's proven to be a bit of an expert at always looking like a cooler, slightly more adult (both in a maturity way but also you know in a wickedly sexy way) version of you.
But this? This is such a blow to what is left of this boy that isn't just the word DEATH tattooed onto a leather jacket smeared in blood. Here, I made this gif to better show what Law is going through because words cannot express his anguish
Yeah...
Yeah.
So this is basically like all that tied up into one moment and yet somehow worse because unlike the tragedy of losing his arm, his dignity, or his parents, this one manages to ruin ninjas.
#trafalgar law's trauma#Boyish Sense Of Wonder Club#No Swordsman Allowed#Sadly#mihawk taught him that!#zoro's dazzling array of expressions#the strawhats with heart#ninja fanboys#the d stands for.....#trafalgar d. water law#trafalgar law#roronoa zoro#tony tony chopper#raizo#one piece#zou arc#Roronoa I Totally Don't Want To Be Mihawk When I Grow Up That's Why I Begged Him To Teach Me To Be Just Like Him Zoro#law's dawning realisation of how fucked his plans are is my favorite character
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LFRP Braxis Wynterwulf
The Basics
Age: 38
Birthday: Unknown
Race: Highlander
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Marital Status: Single
Server: Balmung
Physical Appearance
Hair: Light Brown
Eyes: Icy blue
Height: 6′8
Build: Muscular
Distinguishing Marks: Three scars on his face, prosthetic magitek left hand, various cuts, bite, burn and claw marks are scattered across his body. Tattoo references pending.
Common Accessories: Wolf and Dragon Claws/Fangs, Family Ring, Various rune marked bracers and charms.
Personal
Profession: Dragoon / Mercenary
Hobbies: Fighting, Feasting, Hunting, Training, Fighting, Drinking, Fighting
Languages: Common
Residence: The Pillars
Birthplace: Limsa
Religion: Spiritual with Halonic and Rhalgr influences
Patron Deity: Halone & Rhalgr
Fears: Failure, Being too weak, Being the one his family and clan dies with.
Relationships
Spouse: N/A
Children: Io Saarwulf (Adopted)
Parents: Raynor Direwulf (Deceased) Beatrice Beatsong (Deceased)
Siblings: Quill Sureshot, Roric Eldar, Venoiux Grinningwulf, Asmaria Soulmender and about 4 more he doesn't list off often.
Distance Relatives: Asher Rukoth (Cousin), Aelin Stormwulf (Cousin), Kilaani Bloodwulf (Cousin), Alexander Greywolf (Uncle, Deceased) Delvaani Songwulf (Aunt, Deceased), Astrid Redwulf (Cousin, MIA), Hunter Ironwulf (Cousin, MIA), Connor Wulf (Nephew, MIA) Siv Wulf (Niece, MIA) Jorgen Frostwulf (Grandfather....Frozen?) Sigrid Bloodwulf (Grandmother, also frozen.) Hugo Boulderfist (Uncle, Father like figure from mother’s side.)
Pets: Snow, a Coerthas bred Ghost Wolf. A silent, grumpy canine. Along with Pup a Natalan War Wolf and Coerthas Ghost Wolf mutt. A more friendly, slightly smaller version of Snow.
Additional Notes:
Bastard: Born out of wedlock to a traveling Ishgardian Knight and a daughter of an Ala Mhigan merchant. With his fathers early death it left him and his newly disowned mother in Limsa for many years.
Prosthetic Hand: Losing his left hand near the end of the Dragonsong War was a blow to the highlander both in mind and body. But after four prototype hands and thanks to Asher. The man now boasts a well made and “Braxis Proof” Prosthetic magitek hand. Allowing him to control his aether more efficiently, even recently covered in various runic markings.
Fully Ala Mhigan: By blood at the very least. Although little of the traditions outside of the odd Wulf traditions have been taught to him. His mother being a full blooded Ala Mhigan and his father hailing from an Ala Mhigan family that exiled itself after a feud with the other half of their clan out of shame.
ART: https://imgur.com/a/YOGOS
Traits
Extroverted / In Between / Introverted
Disorganized / In Between / Organized
Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded
Calm / In Between / Anxious
Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable
Cautious / In Between / Reckless
Patient / In Between / Impatient
Outspoken / In Between / Reserved
Leader / In Between / Follower
Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic
Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic
Traditional / In Between / Modern
Hard-working / In Between / Lazy
Cultured / In Between / Uncultured
Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful
Loyal / In Between / Disloyal
RP Hooks
Hooligan Years: Before he was kidnapped brought back into the folds of the Clan Wulf or better known in Coerthas, House Wulf. Braxis spent his childhood and teen years with his mother, uncle and countless siblings in Limsa. Getting into all sorts of trouble even more so with the local Yellow Jackets and Merchants.
Ex-Dragoon: When he was taken into his clan properly and found himself in Ishgard. His skills with a lance and his boasts about slaying a dragon (albeit a minor one) within an hour of first stepping foot into Coerthas, and his families ties allowed him a chance to become a Dragoon like his father before him. Although only serving a few years due to his age. But the six years he served were an impressionable set.
Ishgardian Noble: Not by his own choice, but with his uncles death days after Nidhogg had fell to the famed heros of the Dragonsong War, leadership of the small minor noble house fell onto Braxis’ shoulders. Although he swears he is throwing it at Astrid whenever she returns. In the meantime he takes care of the Houses politics, businesses and the such.
White Wolf of Coerthas: Was a title earned in his years as a Dragoon. Leading small hunting parties or pairs with ruthless efficiency like a wolf hunting its prey. His most common partner was another dragoon of renown, Claude Duval the Bronze Dragoon.
Mercenary: After the end of the Dragonsong War and finding his family ties in Ala Mhigo are the victims to history, or so he thinks. He has once more taken the life to a sellsword. Leading a small band of mercenaries in various contracts. Mostly around the Coerthas region.
Contact Information
I am able to be contacted here on either @serwynterwulf or @braxis-ooc
I am also on discord Braxis#1782
OOC information
I work from 6am - 3:30/4pm EST and I am normally not on till roughly and hour or two after that pending on what is going on IRL.
I am over the age of 21 and do enjoy Dark/Mature Rp, etc, even more so if it serves a greater story arc. Although I do find casual RP even more so with this character highly enjoyable. I am looking for all sorts of connections for this character. Ships and the such I am more then happy to discuss.
This is one of my two ‘mains’ so to say. So it is fairly easy to catch me online with this character. I am up for ingame and discord Rp. Just be wary due to my work Discord replies may be slow on some days.
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Posting a quick intro because I’m super excited to get into interactions! Hi guys it’s ya girl Theo, I’m 20 and cursed to be in the GMT+2 timezone. I’m currently in uni studying journalism and pr, but you guessed it I won’t be able to save this PR wreck aka Electra Romero. I’ll have some ideas for connections down below, but if you want to reach me do it though my dms here or you can find me on my discord — theoffs#3866 !
. * ◜ oh my god , you’ll never guess who’s coming to this party tonight ! according to stan twitter , i heard that it’s electra romero, a singer who’s currently signed to gold crown entertainment . wait , you don’t know who she is ? well , el is a cis female known around los angeles as having a striking resemblance to camila mendes, & the resemblance is uncanny . they’re a twenty-two year old who has been signed to gold crown for THREE YEARS, & have an identical career to camila cabello, which probably explains why they’ve amassed such a following . ever since they signed to gold crown , they have been known for being quite astute & maverick, but crown exposed seems to want to paint them as nothing more than detached & irascible . i’m beyond excited that they’ve made it this far in their career - every time i see their instagram , i can’t help but picture her collection of electric guitars, patched denim jackets, drunken swearing at paparazzi . oh wait , they’re coming over here – act natural !
Basics —
Name: Electra Rosario Romero Nicknames: El, Romero Age & Birthday: 22 / March 1st 1997 Zodiac sign: Pisces Gender: cis female Occupation: singer / songwriter sexuality: heterosexual ( bicurious ) Born: Los Angeles, California Ethnicity: Brazillian Career Claim: Camila Cabello Pinterest: here.
Background — ( death tw )
when I first applied I didn’t have that much of a backstory on her, but the more I worked on her pinterest and mock blog I fell in love with her messed up self. So the gist of it is that her family moved to L.A before she was born, her mother an aspiring singer and her dad wanted to do anything for his woman plus he is a car mechanic so he could find a job anywhere. Before her they had another daughter, her older sister by 4 years and a younger brother that was born 6 years after her. They were never the happiest family, high school sweethearts that got knocked up and wanted to escape the life in Brazil so they went with the ‘American dream’ only it was a goddamn nightmare. Her father found the work he was looking for, but her mother was seriously struggling and her only way of getting jobs being to sleep with whoever offered and she kept it a secret from her husband. Even with doing that it didn’t really lead anywhere, she grew old and bitter and wasn’t the best mother to her three kids. They didn’t see their father that often either, but that’s just cause he worked his ass off to keep them with clothes on their backs and to be able to afford food which obviously isn’t easy in L.A. It was home that never felt like home for Electra, she knew it like the palm of her hand, but there wasn’t that feeling of security as they lived in a pretty crappy neighbourhood.
They still got around though and the three kids practically raised themselves. Her older sister playing the biggest role in her life as she practically raised her and taught her everything while her mother was off hooking up with random men. Her sister was quite the social butterfly in contrast to Electra and always did what was best for their family. Even if that meant doing some not so ethical stuff to get money. When Electra was 14 though things got really bad and her life literally turned upside down. Her sister had began stripping for money, something she made El swear to keep a secret, not that she understood it well, but she knew neither of her parents especially her father would be okay with that. That left 14 year old Electra looking after her then 8 year old brother after school, making sure he’s fed and okay. Electra actually learned how to take care of herself and others real young. But one day as he was walking back from school just as he was calling her to ask what they’ll have for lunch he hadn’t looked around while crossing the street and was hit by a car mid conversation with Electra. He died on the spot and although it’s not her fault she has always thought that she had a part of it because she was supposed to protect him.
It was a devastating few months for the Romero’s, not long after her younger child’s death her mother finally went ahead and left them for another man. Everything that happened made Electra sick and angry, but neither of them could stop and mourn properly cause if they did they’d have no place to live. That’s when around the age of 15/16 Electra started getting into songwriting. Being slightly more mature going into adolescence she started to experience the things that are love and friendship and got caught up with them. Smoking, underage drinking, stealing her first electric guitar and learning to play it so she could impress her then boyfriend. She did whatever she could to distract herself from the sad reality that was her life and for a while it worked like a charm. Her making a living out of singing never seemed like an option to her as she knew her father and sister wouldn’t approve. She saw what happened with her mother and even thinking about it wasn’t a topic of discussion. So it remained a silly little hobby she’d work on while she skipped on school to hang out with her friends until the moment when one of them suggested that she’d upload one of them for her as at the time Electra couldn’t afford owning a computer. She didn’t think much of it and agreed, but instead she went viral and not long after a producer reached out to her with the chance to join a girl group he was forming. Electra was probably drunk or high when that happened, but somehow she ended up agreeing.
Singing career / present —
Somehow Electra had been discovered by an actual producer that wasn’t going to scam her, and not only that, but he made a pretty decent girl group. Her and the four other girls who also had gone viral in some shape or from made quite the team, each girl different in her own way and attracting all sorts of people. He signed them to his record label and they started blowing up within a year of their release, yet Electra never seemed to take it as seriously as the rest of them. There she was all glamorous singing repetitive pop songs in a short skirt, something that even she found embarrassing, but the money was good. Her family made a big deal out of it and didn’t want to do anything with her, seeing that she never told them and they found out when they saw one of her first preformances. Not facing them wasn’t that hard as they were almost always on the road doing show after show without consideration for their wellbeing. Not only was this not her music, it wasn’t her life anymore she had no control over it. About a year after they’d began she started getting out of control, skipping rehearsals, snapping at the crew and overall being super problematic which they ignored for as long as they could, but she couldn’t stop crossing the line. After roughly two years the management kicked her out which they played out as a mutual decision, but it was obvious that she’s at fault. And again it was her fault that her family couldn’t get any money again, this time she could truly blame herself, but she had been so sick of being controlled all the time.
For awhile not working felt good, she got her own sound back, even wrote enough to have her own album, but all the people she had alienated while constantly on tour left her with nothing, but her music. Her sister was okay with talking with her, but her father still refused as he saw the wife that left him in the face of his own daughter. Even if he was mad at her Electra still wanted to provide for them, it’s what she was taught to do so when Gold Crown entertainment reached out to her with a whole plan to get her back in the spotlight she was all up for it. A fake relationship and collab that would make her out to be a new and changed person, inspired by it all she writes an album that becomes an instant hit and suddenly everyone adores her again. They let her write her own songs which she was happy about, but she had to follow this whole PR scheme to redeem herself. She didn’t really care if people liked her, what mattered was that at the end of the day each scandal or drama she was involved with brought money to the table and soon enough she would establish a much more successful image for herself than her girl band days that she wasted. This time she wasn’t going to fuck up.
Personality —
Electra isn’t the nicest person, but she cares a lot. The people that gain her trust are very special to her and she’d do anything for them. She values family even if it’s as broken as hers with a workacholic father, a stripper sister and a mother that’s nowhere to be seen. She’s an honest and authentic person even if what she has to say isn’t pretty. El has seen quite the stuff growing up and doesn’t share it, especially the stuff that makes her vulnrable. Her life is strictly business and she can’t go around telling people her sob story as she feels guilty for it really being that way. At this point she just tries to keep her temper intact and do what she has to in order to have some advantage. She often contradicts herself with the things she believes yet still does the opposite thing cause she’ll get something out of it. She’s been in love and experienced real friendship, but that hasn’t helped her or filled the void of guilt in her heart.
Wanted connections —
I have a lot of those! Whether it’s acquaintances, friends, frenemies, enemies, hookups, pr relationships, I want them all! Here are the main ones that I feel like are crucial to her story:
The PR relationship of a lifetime. This can be taken in any way whether they get along, have actual feelings or hate each other’s guts. The main idea of it is that when Gold Crown reached out to her and had a plan for her getting back to the spotlight this relationship was involved. What started out as an innocent collab at first would blossom into a romance. One that would inspire her to change her ways and write a whole album! Or at least that’s what the public has to see. In reality Electra is trapped by it as cause of it she can’t really have a real relationship with anyone. The only thing she can do is have hookups with people she’s certain won’t rat out that her other relationship is fake.
Roomies. I suppose not long after she turned 18 and was still in her girl group she moved out due to her strained relationship with her family and started living with someone else. Could be another member from her girl group or just a friend from the business she made along the way. She’s probably really close to that person they’re one of the few to see her caring and protective side.
Hookups. You know a girl has her needs. Whether she was sad, got drunk and somehow ended up in bed with that person or they made a fwb kinda deal it’s always fun to play out.
Ex-band members. Another person to leave the band after her or they fell apart who knows, but they all share the long weeks of preforming every night and know the struggle that came in being in a girl band.
Dumped for the job. Another starlet she met in the start of her career. At first they hit it off and even got together, again one of the few people to know the real her and what’s she’s all about and that’s what drove them apart. Inspired but this post. Probably tried to stick by her in her rough patches, but she just kept pushing him away and with her offer for the PR relationship it was obvious it was never going to last. There may still be some lingering feelings, but not all of them are good.
These are the main things I can think of. I’m good with anything tbh and if you’re stuck you can take a look at my wanted tag or we can just brainstorm so like this post or hmu!!!
#gold:intro#death tw#this is the longest intro i've written in ages so you can tell how into my girl i am#come give us some love!!#also i'm not sure how many years I wrote her as being in gold crown in my app whoops#also this hasn't been proofread#too lazy for that sry
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Pride
WE INTERRUPT THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED CONTENT BECAUSE-
LADIES, LORDS, AND NOBLE GENTRY OF NON-CONFORMING GENDER IDENTITIES-
IT’S MOTHERFUCKING PRIDE MONTH!!!!
And the way I see it, we can’t do Pride month without having at least one (1) Pride themed fic. Which is why I stopped working on the previously scheduled content for this week and busted out a Pride themed fic instead!
Which is this fic here! In case... that wasn’t... clear...
Anywho.
Summary: You and Piotr take some of the teens at the X-Mansion to New York City’s Pride festival --and meet some interesting people while you’re there.
Rating: T for moderate language. If it wasn’t for that, this fic would be G.
Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader, Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson, and Ellie Phimister x Yukio.
(Author’s Note One: I know that Kitty is alluded to possibly being bisexual in some of the comics. Here, she’s queer in the sense that she doesn’t quite know where she lands yet, but she knows she’s not straight. Considering I have her around 17, I figured having her be a little more ambiguous --since she’s in the early stages of her journey in discovering herself--was fitting.
Author’s Note Two: I headcanon Illyana as asexual. Also, asexual/aromantic people belong in the queer community/at Pride. If you don’t like any of that, die mad about it.
Author’s Note Three: Lzzy Hale does identify as bisexual/pansexual, which is why I decided to write in Halestorm performing at Pride (aside from my obsession with them). Basically, I just want to be clear that I’m not writing in a straight person performing at a Pride festival, say, for instance, Ariana Grande. *side-eyes Manchester*
Author’s Note Four: Your sexuality, as the Reader, is kept entirely ambiguous. There are several sexuality and/or gender identities (and combinations therein) that “allow” for being attracted to and in a relationship with a cisgender, heterosexual man (which is how I write Piotr), so I didn’t want to stick a label on the Reader’s “character” and ruin the immersion for everyone who doesn’t identify with that label. If you do identify as queer, then feel free to imagine yourself in whatever Pride themed gear you have, and as attending Pride as a queer person in a relationship with a straight person! If not, your role in the story is strictly what it says in the fic: to help Piotr chaperone the teens and to support the students in embracing the most authentic versions of themselves, whatever that may be! Just so we’re all clear.)
Tag list: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie
“—and stay together… Kitty, are you listening?”
“What? Oh, yeah, totally!”
You can’t help but chuckle at your boyfriend’s exasperated expression as Kitty Pryde, one of the latest teen trainees to come to Xavier’s, continues bouncing back and forth to whatever song she was listening to on her phone.
Summer’s normally a low-key time for the Institute. Most of the students only stay for the traditional school year, which means that the summer season sees a mass exodus of most of the mansion’s temporary residents and trainees. Save for missions and training, summer’s usually an entirely dialed back, relaxed affair.
Except for June.
One thing you’ve learned since arriving at Xavier’s is that minority groups have a way of overlapping. Several of the mutants that attend Xavier’s identify as queer in some way, shape, or form –and most of the permanent residents were queer as well, having been kicked out of their homes for the identity and genetics.
Sad as the rejection rates are, you’ve witnessed firsthand just how hard the staff at Xavier’s worked to make sure that all their residents feel accepted, supported, and loved.
Including taking teenaged and adult residents to New York City’s annual Pride festival.
Illyana, already decked out in her usual muted colors and a shirt dyed with the asexual Pride flag colors, purses her lips as Kitty bobs her head back and forth. “Katya –Katya, sit still.”
“I am!” Kitty insists as she continues bouncing up and down and mouthing the lyrics to whatever she’s listening to. “I’m totally chill!”
You bite back a snort as Illyana narrows her eyes—
And then the blonde teen yanks none too gently on Kitty’s hair.
“Ow!” Kitty shrieks, dropping her phone as she claps her hands to her head. “What the heck!”
“You want hair braided, da?” Illyana plucks the earbuds out of her friend’s ears and tilts Kitty’s head back so the –barely—younger teen can see her displeased expression. “Sit. Still.”
“Gentle, snezhinka,” Piotr says to his baby sister, tone warning.
“Yeah,” Kitty agrees, smoothing her shirt with a rainbow patterned Star of David silk-screened on the front. “Chill out, ‘yana.”
“Are we almost ready?” Ellie asks as she bounds into the kitchen, Yukio hot on her heels. “We need to leave in ten minutes if we want to get a good spot to see Halestorm play.”
Piotr had volunteered –and you along with him—to chaperone the trip this year, which basically amounted to herding a bunch of particularly fickle cats all over the place.
“Chill, dude,” Kitty says as she tries to reach for her phone. “It’s just a rock band.”
“Just a rock band?” Ellie and Illyana say simultaneously, aghast.
“Are you sure we have this handled?” you whisper to your boyfriend as Ellie and Illyana both start in on separate rants about Lzzy Hale’s status as a queer woman and the classifications of rock versus metal music, respectively.
“I am having second thoughts,” Piotr admits, grimacing slightly. “But I think it will all be worth-while at conclusion.”
You smile and kiss his shoulder. “I think so, too.”
“Wait, are you still in your pajama pants?” Ellie props herself up on the counter –and, sure enough, Kitty’s only half-dressed. “Are you fucking serious, Pryde? Do you want us to end up at the fucking fringes?”
“Language, NTW,” Piotr interjects before things can get too out of hand. “Self-control, please. Kitty, why are you not dressed?”
“Well, ‘yana was going to braid my hair—”
“Which I cannot do—” Illyana yanks Kitty’s head up again, prompting another yelp from the brunette “—if you keep moving!”
Kitty glares at her impromptu stylist. “You’re a real sadist, you know.”
“Okay,” you say, picking up Kitty’s phone and earbuds and holding them out of reach. “How about you sit still and let Illyana do your hair, and then go get dressed. Ellie, why don’t you work with Piotr and get us packed up, if you’re so worried about being late.”
“Good idea, Y/N,” Piotr says, mouthing a quick “thank you” at you when Kitty finally sits still with a huff.
You wink and blow a kiss at him, then turn when the back door swings open.
Wade strolls in, wearing a black t-shirt that says “It’s time to pan-ic” with the text colored like the pansexual pride flag; Nathan follows, wearing a tank top that says “Bi until I die” with each row of text matching an individual stripe from the bisexual pride flag.
Kitty grins. “Damn. Looking cool, dudes.”
“Always do, Snickers.”
Illyana blinks. “What?”
“He started calling me ‘Kit-Kat,’” Kitty explains with a resigned sigh. “And then it just escalated into other candies.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sour lemon drop.”
Your snort and shake your head before heading off to help Piotr and Ellie pack up the car.
***
Fortunately for Kitty’s existence and Ellie’s sanity, you arrive with plenty of time to get a good spot for the Pride concert.
“Sunscreen,” Piotr insists before Ellie can dart off to get the best possible spot remaining. He clasps her shoulder and holds a bottle of SPF 100 out to her. “Please and thank you.”
“No way!” Kitty gripes when Piotr holds a second bottle out to her. “I want to tan.”
“You’re ninety percent European Jew by ancestry,” Ellie fires off. “You’ll just burn.”
“Yeah, but it’ll turn into a tan. Duh.”
“Use the sunscreen,” Wade says with a cheery smile as he puts on a lightweight hoodie and a baseball cap. “If you don’t, you’ll wind up looking like me.”
Kitty grimaces and recoils. “Ew!”
“Be nice!” Illyana hisses, elbowing her friend in the side.
“It’s all good,” Wade says with a shrug as Kitty starts slathering herself in sunscreen. “I’m all for scaring people into making better life choices.”
***
The lot of you manage to get a spot about thirty feet back from the stage where most of the artists are performing. With Wade in a hoodie and cap and Nathan in a jacket and sunglasses, no one even gives you a second glance.
And then Halestorm comes onstage, and the music kicks in, and then the amount of glances you get plunges into the negative numbers.
Not that you can blame anyone for it. The energy the band manages to kick up is astounding.
Ellie looks like she’s seeing the face of God for the first time. She’s more animated than you’ve ever seen her, singing along to the lyrics of every song with flawless accuracy.
You and Piotr share a smile behind her back. So precious.
Halfway through the set, Piotr kneels down and puts his trainee up on his shoulders so she has a better view of the stage.
You manage to snap a quick picture of Ellie’s grinning face. That’s one for the memory books.
***
Ellie practically dives off Piotr’s shoulders once Halestorm walks off the stage.
“Blyad!” Piotr yelps, startled –Illyana barks out a quick laugh—as he catches Ellie from face-planting into the pavement. “Slow down!”
“Okay, I get why you were so excited to see them live,” Kitty says, grinning. “Lzzy’s super hot.”
“Told you,” Illyana and Ellie say in unison.
Ellie starts rummaging through her bag. “My aunt got us VIP passes to go to the signing. If we leave now, we should get there when things kick off.”
“Yeah, right,” Kitty argues. “We’re basically at the front of the crowd. There’s no way we’ll get there ahead of everyone else.”
Illyana’s eyes light up. “Everyone, grab on to me.”
Piotr frowns. “Snezhinka, nyet—”
She smiles impishly at her older brother as Ellie, Yukio, Kitty, Wade, and Nate grab onto her arms. “Sozhaleyu, medvezhonok.”
And then she winks out of view, taking everyone with her.
You bite back a laugh as Piotr’s expression morphs into one of brotherly fury. “Come on. We can check out the vendor stalls while they get their autographs.”
“Except Kitty, Yukio, and Ellie are all minors, and I am responsible for them as chaperone.”
“Oh. Right.” You do laugh this time, then squeeze his hand when he gives you a consternated look. “Well, let’s go collect our kids, then.”
***
By the time the two of you reach the autograph area, Nathan and Wade already have the teens waiting outside the security checkpoint.
Ellie’s practically vibrating with excitement as she shoves a CD case with a silver signature inked on it in Piotr’s face. “Check it out!”
“Very nice,” Piotr says with a smile equal parts indulgent and fond.
“She signed my hand, too!”
“And now you’re never going to wash that hand again,” Wade jokes.
“No,” Ellie says with a frown. “That’s gross, even by your standards.”
“Not really, considering I never wash my hands to begin with.”
Kitty gags and claps a hand over her mouth. “I think I’m gonna puke.”
“Alright, everyone,” you say with an amused eye roll. “Let’s go find a place to sit for lunch.”
***
You wind up running into some of the college students and other fledgling adults that train with the X-Men and end up sitting with them.
“Yeah, my aunt brought me to the parade last year,” Ellie says, recounting her first experience with Pride. “After I came out.”
Wade nods, genuinely listening and conversing for once. “‘Ness and I went together each year after we got together.”
“Cool.”
“I got arrested by a cop one year for streaking.”
“Not cool.”
“I went to Tokyo Pride with my older brothers last year,” Yukio chimes in, smiling happily as she munches away at a sandwich. “What about you, Illyana?”
“Ah, not so much for me,” Illyana says, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Russia… does not have as much for us.”
“It’s a good thing you’ve got Colossus here,” Kitty pipes up around a mouthful of pizza. “You can celebrate with us.”
Illyana favors the brunette with a small smile. “Da.”
“What about you, Cable?” Yukio asks, smiling sweetly. “Are there Pride celebrations in the future?”
“Not really,” Nathan replies. “We’re too busy trying to survive and win the war against Apocalypse to have parades.”
Kitty pinches the bridge of her nose. “Jesus Christ, you’re so depressing.”
Nathan smirks. “There’s not as much fuss about sexuality, either. Or polyamory. Love is love, and considering the people that you love might be gone in a moment, you have to make every second count.”
“At least you got that right,” Ellie mutters.
Wade elbows his boyfriend in the side. “C’mon, Cabesy. You have to admit—” he waves a hand grandly at the bright, colorful celebration all around you “—that this isn’t half bad.”
Nate’s smirk grows into a smile, and he concedes with a nod. “Not half bad at all.”
***
The lot of you spend the rest of the afternoon checking out the various stalls and vendor stands.
A lot of them are being run by corporate representatives. An… alarming number, really.
Nathan scowls when you pass by a booth being run by Comcast, of all things. “I thought this was supposed to be a celebration for the queer community.”
“It is,” Wade says. “At its core, it is.”
“The capitalist death machine knows no boundaries or sense of appropriateness,” Ellie says flatly.
“This is part of the problem, you know,” Nate growls, jerking his thumb at the Comcast booth. “Corporations keep sinking their claws into everything they can and milk it for all it’s worth. When they finally collapse, there isn’t anything left for the rest of humanity.”
“Okay, maybe save the depressing stuff for later?” Kitty pipes up.
“It’s okay.” Wade squeezes Nathan’s hand. “We can maim the Comcast CEO later this week if you want.”
“Nyet,” Piotr interjects. “Absolutely not.”
Wade waves a dismissive hand at your boyfriend. “Relax, Chrome Dome. I didn’t say you had to come along.”
“How about we save all conversations relating to bodily harm of others until we’re not within earshot of minors and a thousand or so witnesses,” you hiss before an actual disagreement can break out. “Capiche?”
***
Towards the end of your time at the festival, you all wind up stumbling across a photography group run by queer individuals. The banner over the table reads “Snapshot Studios” in crisp, jet black letters, and countless shots of people, animals, and nature shots are on display for everyone to see.
“Wow,” Kitty says, admiring a picture of a sunset over a lake. “This is seriously cool.”
“Thank you,” a young man with curly hair that’s been dyed blue says. He extends his hand and introduces himself as Aiden, one of the principle photographers for the studio. “We’re in the middle of doing a Pride-themed series, for obvious reasons. You can check it out on our website.” He hands out business cards to each of you. “If any of you are interested in participating, you can contact us at the email address on the card. There’s no fee involved; we just take your picture and ask you questions about your experience as a queer person.” He glances off to the side, where Wade’s staring intently at one of the pictures. “Hey, buddy. You like the look of something?”
You crane your neck to see which picture Wade’s looking at, and –oh. That’s a familiar face.
Wade gazes longingly at a picture of Vanessa, dressed up in a strappy black dress and winking at the camera. He lifts his hand, almost as though he wants to reach out and touch her face, then clearly thinks better of it and jams it in his sweatshirt pocket.
“That’s from our sex worker positivity collection,” Aiden says, still studying Wade carefully.
“I know,” Wade says, somewhat sadly. “That’s my ex-girlfriend.”
Aiden’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. Uh… I take it things didn’t work out?”
Wade grimaces. “She died.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, man.” Aiden regards Wade thoughtfully for a moment, then reaches over and takes down Vanessa’s picture. “Here.” He holds the picture out to Wade. “Take it home with you. No charge.”
Wade blinks at him for a moment, shocked, then gently takes the photo out of Aiden’s hands. He gazes down at it for a moment, tracing Vanessa’s face lovingly, then reaches out for Nathan’s hand before looking back up at Aiden. “Thank you.”
Nate squeezes Wade’s hand gently, a soft smile on his face.
“No problem, man. Hey, if you don’t mind my asking, are you a burn victim?”
“Ah, no.” Wade shrugs one shoulder, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Mutation side effect.”
“You’re a mutant?” Aiden’s eyebrows go up again.
“We all are,” you clarify, gesturing at your little group.
“Really? That’s super cool. I had no idea.”
“It’s not exactly something we show off,” Ellie pipes up. “There aren’t many mutations that alter physical appearance, either.”
“Makes sense,” Aiden says, nodding. “So, did you guys just happen to meet up with each other, or…”
“We work with Xavier’s Institute for Gifted Youngsters,” Piotr says, handing Aiden a business card of his own as he steps into the conversation for the first time.
Aiden grins as he eyes the card. “So, you’re X-Men. I thought you guys were on full-time hero duty.”
“They have a rotating schedule,” Wade interjects.
“We also have to take care of students,” Piotr says, eyeing Wade sternly. “Part of that is ensuring they connect to necessary communities.”
“That’s super dope, man. I know a lot of parents who wouldn’t do that.”
You have to drift away at that point to keep an eye on Kitty and Illyana, who’ve wandered down a few booths. By the time you get them to circle back to Piotr and the rest of the group, Piotr and Aiden seem to be wrapping up what seems like an intense discussion.
You eye your boyfriend quizzically as you all head back to the car. “What was that all about?”
Piotr smiles as he tucks Aiden’s business card into his wallet. “Networking.”
***
It takes a couple weeks, but you eventually figure out what “networking” means.
As chance would have it, Aiden and his coworkers are extremely interested in including mutants in this year’s Pride-themed photography series. It takes a little finagling to get some of the waivers worked out for the underage students who want to participate, and then it takes even more finagling to get a date and mutant safe location worked out, but eventually everything smooths out.
They wind up setting up in one of the training rooms first –to get the shots that require powers like Ellie’s or Russell’s, which means that the training rooms are the safest place to set up—then move out to the grounds behind the manor for the rest of the shoot.
Ellie’s aunt, Brie Phimister –who’s a spitting image of Ellie, just with wavy hair and a slightly longer face—shows up for the second part of the shoot, decked out in her Pride gear.
“So, you’re a mutant, too?” one of Aiden’s coworkers –CJ, you think—asks while Aiden gets shots of Ellie, Brie, and Yukio together.
“Yup,” you confirm, popping the ‘p.’ “I can control air –which basically means I can fly plus some fun stuff.”
“That’s super rad,” probably CJ says with a lax grin. “Hey –Aiden! She can fly!”
“No way.” Aiden grins back at you once he finishes taking his latest set of shots. “Stick around until the end. I’d like to get some shots of that, if that’s cool with you.”
You grin back. “Sure thing.”
***
It’s late evening by the time everything wraps up.
Kitty mugs for the camera like she’s born for it, and almost seems a little put out by being told to head inside.
The highlight of the whole thing, though (in your opinion), are the shots CJ manages to get of Nathan and Wade.
Wade, unsurprisingly, seemed a bit nervous about having his picture taken. He’d been stiff, barely smiling or looking at the camera—
And then Nathan had looped an arm around his boyfriend’s neck and pressed a fat kiss against Wade’s cheek.
The smile that had broken out across Wade’s face was nothing short of wonderful.
The other highlight of the day is when Piotr comes out as things wrap up, armored up and in his X-Men uniform.
Aiden gawks, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as Piotr strolls towards everyone. “Holy fucking shit!”
“Language, please,” Piotr says with a polite gesture towards Ellie and Yukio. “Young ones are present.”
Aiden blinks, clearly thrown, but recovers quickly enough. “I’ve never seen anyone like you, dude. You look seriously cool.”
“That’s what I said when I first met him,” you comment, grinning widely at your boyfriend.
“Understandable.” Aiden looks over at you. “And you can fly?”
You summon an air current by way of answering and lift yourself a few feet off the ground, twirling and somersaulting slowly as you drift towards the sky.
“Okay, can you do that again?” Aiden asks as he gets his camera ready. “Except over here –yeah, perfect. Okay, go! Alright, look at me and smile –eh, a little more teeth… perfect…”
You do as you’re told, grinning and twirling in the air while Aiden gets the shots he wants. “How do I look, babe?” you ask Piotr with a giggle.
He smiles fondly at you. “Very beautiful, myshka.”
“You two are together?” Aiden asks.
“Yup!” You smile brightly –and Aiden snaps another quick picture. “Have been for a while now.”
“We could get some really good pictures of them,” another coworker with bright purple hair –you think her name is Violet, which would make sense—points out. “The contrast of their mutations would make for great thematic storytelling, visually speaking.”
Aiden hums thoughtfully, finger tapping against his camera while he considers the idea. “It really would. Are you two okay with that?”
“I’m down.” You look to Piotr. “Is that okay with you?”
He shrugs and moves to stand next to you. “Konechno.”
You use your mutation to plop yourself down on his shoulders and brace yourself against his head. “How’s this?”
“Not bad,” Aiden says, getting his camera ready once more. “Lean to the side and forward a little more –yeah, keep your hair away from your face, good. Okay, now you put your hands on her legs or something, like you’re helping her balance… perfect. Okay, neither of you move for a minute.” He snaps a few pictures, then chuckles. “Dude, you are too tall for some of this. Is there a stool I can use?”
“I’ll get one,” Ellie says before trotting off to the house.
***
You spend the next hour posing with and without Piotr in various positions, from sitting on his shoulders, to him holding you in his arms, to you flying above him and him smiling up at you.
Aiden jumps on and off the stool Ellie fetched for him, lays down on the ground, and does just about every conceivable thing to get the shots he wants. When the light gets too dim, he and his coworkers break out their lighting rigs and keep going.
“Y’all are seriously dedicated to this,” you comment at one point, genuinely impressed.
“You can’t have a life’s passion without actually being passionate,” Violet says with a smile.
After a while, Aiden breaks out a tripod and a camera specifically designed for slow motion and has Piotr go in and out of defense mode a few times.
“Wow,” you breathe when Aiden shows you a shot where Piotr’s face is slowly morphing into his armor. “That’s amazing.”
“No kidding,” Aiden agrees. “I think this will go on the front of the mutant spread we talked about.”
You furrow your brow, confused. “Am I missing something?”
“Back at the vendor booth,” Aiden explains. “We talked about including mutants in our Pride themed collection, but we also discussed releasing a series that focused solely on mutants once Pride month was over.” He gestures to the screen, where Piotr’s face is still visible. “This is a gorgeous shot. I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”
Piotr checks the shot when Aiden holds the camera out for him to see, then shrugs somewhat sheepishly. “If you think it works.”
“I do. Okay, I’ve got one last concept I want to do, if you guys are willing.”
“What’re you thinking?” you ask.
“I was thinking we could have your man get into his armor, and then pick you up and give you a kiss, and then un-armor while he’s kissing you.” He looks between you and Piotr. “Does that sound like something you’d both be comfortable with?”
You nod before looking over at Piotr. “Babe?”
He shrugs again. “I have no problems.”
“Awesome.” Aiden has Piotr armor up and lift you into his arms, then tests a few spots before getting back on the stool. “Alright, kiss her in three, two, one…”
You close your eyes as Piotr’s lips press –gently—against yours and loop your arms around his neck.
It’s a little weird, holding the kiss while he transitions out of defense mode, but he holds you steady, adjusting his grip as he goes so you don’t so much as wobble. Once he’s fully de-armored, he sets you carefully on the ground and moves his hands from your back to your face, cupping your head in his hands.
Aiden snaps a few more pictures, then hops off the stool and claps his hands. “Perfect.”
You grin as he shows you the screen, cycling through the series of pictures. “Damn. We look good.”
Piotr points at the picture where he’s full armored down and cupping your face in his hands. “I like this one best.”
You lean against his side, grinning. “Me too.”
#sass writes#piotr rasputin x reader#colossus x reader#nathan summers x wade wilson#cablepool#negasonic x yukio#happy pride 🌈#lgbtqa#sorry for all the author's notes but i wanted to make sure i'd clarified everything#deadpool fanfiction#x men fanfiction
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Text
From the closet
Fandom : Umbrella Academy
Probably after the apocalypse, or during, I don’t know, Klaus & Five, 3091 words
Just some brotherly fluff mixed with a hint of crack
Also on AO3 !
It's because of the weird silence that Klaus first notices the noise. It's not unusual, of course ; even when they were still all living there as a (family) group, the place wasn't bustling with the usual ruckus and mayhem that comes with seven active children (but where they even children ?). Heavy doors and stern commands confined all the noise made by their training and non-existant games to the rooms, leaving halls and corridors in a deep silence where any noise resonated like a gunshot. Every one of them had memorized each crack of the floorboards, each whisper and moan of the rafters, the bang of a window and the shuffle of a carpet. Soon, they all knew the song, Mom's clicking steps and Father's heavy pace, Luther's stomp or Allison's bounce. The melody of the place they came to call home because it was all they had.
Even now, after years of living away and coming here only now and then, when he can't find a roof and the pain and the loneliness and the craving are too much and - even after all those years, Klaus can still recognize each crack, each small sound. Even after all this time, his feet instinctively fall back in the dance, they find the path they designed to reach the kitchen in complete silence, to raid the fridge, when they - Ben and him, when Ben was still alive and a set of steps Klaus knew as well as his own, not -
He still knows the song and the steps of the dance, even if it's a little older, a little heavier. So when he hears that particular crack, he knows which verse it is, and what it means. Someone is where they shouldn't be. Klaus makes his way through the gallery, his feet silent on the thick carpet as they always were, Ben following behind, going through the walking motions even as he doesn't need it anymore.
Klaus reaches the door of his room, and slowly pushes it open. Nothing to see. Then a shirt crosses the room to land on a heap at the bottom of the bed, where three other shirts, a pair of jeans and a mesh jacket already lie. He steps in, catches the next thing coming at his head - a lace blouse with so many ruffles, that he doesn't even remember getting - and turns towards his closet.
- What the fuck ? he says eloquently.
Five turns to look at him, not troubled in the slightest.
- Do you even own one decent pair of pants ? he asks.
- Excuse you, all my pants are decent.
Five holds up the ones in his hands - his favourite, the ones he spent a whole hour carefully slashing with a cutter - then throws them at his head, where they hang like a very weird headband.
- You call that decent ? They look like they endured the apocalypse.
- I don't see the problem. All the bits are covered, everything's held in place.
Five's glace effectively conveys everything he thinks about Klaus' pants, bits, and everything they have to do with each other. He dives back into the closet, and pieces of clothing start flying again. Klaus just leans back. Ben sits on the bed, clearly amused, and they both watch the show.
Soon, Five emerges, a little out of breath. He's holding a small box in his hands. A small box that Klaus doesn't want to think about, had almost forgotten. He jumps to rip it out of his hands, but Five teleports away out of his reach - of course he does, the little shit.
- Hey, give that back ! he tries, even if he knows that it's useless.
Five's smile is way too big.
- Why ? What's in there ?
- Nothing !
He dives again, but Five ducks, and he crashes on the bed. Ben moves out of the way, looking quite amused by the situation.
- What ? Five asks again. Is there something in there I'm not supposed to see ?
To Klaus' horror, he starts opening it.
- Don't do that !
There's a hint of panic in his voice that makes Five pause for a second.
- You know I know what a dildo is, right ?
- That's great for you, brother, and I'm glad that your time after the apocalypse was so rich in teachings and discoveries, but I still have two objections : first, I don't need my 13-years-old brother (Five's smile disappears, and Klaus quickly amends) my 13-years-old-looking brother talking about dildos, or sextoys, or sex in general. It's a very interesting topic, yes, my favourite even besides drugs, but let's wait until you're fourteen... looking.
Ben mutters something sounding like "like it disturbs you" and Klaus hisses at him.
- Second, he goes on, it's not a dildo. I keep mine under my pillow, close to my heart.
Both of his brothers make a face, and Ben hastily moves from the bed. Klaus takes advantage of the reaction to try and grab the box a third time. Five teleports again. But the box, damaged by the years, can't endure that treatment. The cardboard breaks, and the contents spill on the floor. Klaus watches the papers and pictures slide endlessly, farther and farther, like they want to cover the whole floor. But they stop, at his feet. He looks up. He can't, he doesn't want to look at them again. He's done it so much that he can still feel them under his fingers. The pictures, cracked after being folded so much. The drawings, smudged and stained. The bright colors that don't want to fade, the smiles that linger... He blinks, trying to get rid of the prickling sensation at the corners of his eyes.
When he looks back, Five is holding one of the pictures and peering at his curiously. On the glossy paper, a young Ben and a - happy, young, innocent - Klaus grin at him, holding each other's shoulders. Klaus knows it by heart, the cut on Ben's forehead, a plaster on his hand that Grace insisted to put on, the crease going between them like a reminder of - Klaus feels the familiar itch in his fingers, the need to drown everything in the comfortable silence of the drugs.
- Hey !
He doesn't know who talked, Ben or Five, they are both looking at him ; Ben seems worried, Five's expression is just bemusement, but maybe that's how he shows worry too. He wipes his eyes, staining his hand with his eyeliner.
- You okay ? Five asks.
- Yeah, sure. Perfect.
Five's face clearly shows that he doesn't believe him, but he doesn't say anything, instead thumbing through the papers gathered in his hand.
- You kept Ben's pics ? he asks.
- Yeah, well. Someone had to, right ?
- And the others ?
Klaus shrugs. Maybe the others would have done the same, he doesn't know, he doesn't want to think about it. He kept them all, hoarded them and hid them for himself because it dulled the pain a little. He was selfish, he always was selfish when it came to Ben, and he didn't care, he still doesn't. He was the closest to Ben and Ben was the closest to him, and when he died, it left a hole that he tried to close as he could.
He doesn't say anything, just takes the pictures and drawings from Five's hands - all those smiles, those happy faces, forever lost - and stuffs them in a drawer. When he turns back, all traces of sorrow have been carefully pushed down, hidden under the smile and the make-up.
- So, boys ! he chirps, clapping his hands.
Five's only answer is a raised eyebrow.
- Say, what were you doing in my closet ? Looking for a fashion sense ?
- As if I wanted yours.
- The remnants of my heterosexuality, maybe ?
Ben mouths a "what the fuck ?" at him and he blows him a kiss. Five follows the gesture, frowns, looks back at Klaus.
- I know you don't have any left since you were eleven, I think, he deadpans.
- Aow, that hurts, Klaus mock-whines.
- Everyone knows, Five insists.
- And I'm loud and proud.
- Especially loud, Ben adds.
- Low blow. Now, that brings us back to square one : what were you doing in my closet ?
With a sigh, Five gestures vaguely towards his clothes.
- I only have this to wear, and I'm starting to get hacked off with having to dress as a college boy.
Klaus bites off his answer about him being a college boy.
- But you're so cute in them !
Five glares at him, and for a second, Klaus thinks that he's going to teleport away. But he just says through gritted teeth :
- It's extremely annoying.
He looks down again.
- Also, I'm freezing. They aren't really appropriate.
- You should have said something ! Let your big brother help you !
He grabs Five, hoists him to his feet and drags him out of the room. He expects the arm under his fingers to disappear, but it stays there, and despite his protests, Five follows.
~*~
- What are we doing here ?
- Shhhh !
Klaus looks at Five, then at Ben who followed and seems vaguely curious. He carefully pushes the door open. There's no real reason, It's been a long time since Diego has used that room, but old habits die hard.
Once sure the path is clear, Klaus slips into the room and walks to the wardrobe. He opens it, peers inside.
- Well, our Diego certainly loved a little variation in his clothes.
He pulls out a few leather outfits, strictly identical to the one he's been wearing those last days, only a little smaller. He holds one to Five, who makes the most amazing disgusted face.
- I am not wearing that, he warns.
- Oh, so sad. You'd look amazing in it ! Cutest little dominatrix !
Ben groans and shakes his head. Five growls too, but more like he's very much wanting to bite him.
- Okay, I'll take that back.
Five's stance relaxes a little.
- The cutest little Village Person, he can't help but add.
- Screw you, Five hisses, and walks out.
- You can't help yourself, Ben remarks.
- I'm not even trying.
Klaus grins at him and follows Five in the hallway.
~*~
Compared to theirs, Allison's room is a cozy little nest, with comfortable pillows, white curtains at the top of the bed and white furniture. Pics are still stuck to the mirror, and everything is bathed in a soft, almost dreamy light.
- I'm not wearing Allison's clothes, Five says.
- You're not wearing leather, not wearing a skirt... For a 58 year old, you're awfully conservative, you know. You should live a little. Ditch the old rules. Do what you want, you don't think ?
Five looks ready to protest, but something, maybe the acknowledgement of his real age, holds him back, and he merely rolls his eyes. Klaus grabs a boa hanging from the dresser, throws it around Five's neck and uses it to drag him forwards.
- C'mon, let the real you talk. Who knows ? Maybe Delores would like it !
Five's expression changes at the mention of Delores. Klaus doesn't know if he crossed a line or not, and he doesn't dwell on it. He frolicks to the closet, starts digging through it. He soon pulls out an armful of clothes that he all but showers Five with, muttering to himself :
- Not that. No, not your color at all. And this doesn't flatter you in the slightest.
Five looks more and more exasperated, and Ben more and more amused. Klaus stops with a very low-cut purple dress held almost up to Five's head.
- This one ? Yes ?
- If you make me put this on, I swear...
- Hmm no. Not your style. I would wear it way better.
He throws it over his head, slides it on. Five starts saying something, but Klaus cuts him but doing the same to him, sticking him in a yellow twin-set. He jumps on the bed, starts bouncing on it, watching his brother fight his way out of the gaudy cotton.
- Don't be shy, he yell-sings, let your flag fly !
Five finally gets free, and glares at him. Klaus immediatly stops jumping and steps back down.
- You're right, I'm not sure you can pull it off. But I know what's perfect for you.
Five's expression clearly shows that he doesn't believe a word of it, but he lets himself be pulled along. Ben follows, grinning from ear to ear.
~*~
- If Luther knows you've been in his room.... Ben mutters.
- What Luther doesn't know can't harm me, Klaus retorts, and he'll never know I went in his room.
- I don't know who you're trying to convince, Five answers, but he'll know because you're a disaster.
- That hurts, brother.
The closet door hangs open, and Klaus only has to cross the room to grab the nearest pile of fabric.
- What the fuck is that ? A circus tent ?
- Are you that high, Five groans, that you don't even recognize a sweater ?
Klaus looks at the thing again. It is a sweater, thick and sturdy and big enough to fit an elephant, with a zipper the size of a railroad or almost. He glances at Five, who takes one step back.
- Don't even... he starts.
But already, Klaus has stuffed him in the sweater and pulled his arms through the sleeves. Five pushes him away, trying to find his way through what seems to be acres and acres of cotton and... is that fleece ? Luther certainly likes his comfort.
He finally emerges, and Klaus promptly falls on the ground, holding his ribs and howling with laughter. Ben smiles, too. Five seems ready to burst, but he looks at himself, the sleeves falling to his knees, the sweater looking more like some kind of weird dress on him, and even he cracks up.
It takes him a few more minutes to get out of the thing, during which Klaus keeps digging through the closet.
- None of our siblings has the slightest sense of fashion.
- Neither do you.
Klaus ignores the remark.
- If Vanya was still living here, you could certainly borrow some clothes your size from her. If you like grey, grey or grey, of course. But she only left her academy clothes here, and we've ruled out the pleated skirts. Even if you'd be lovely in them.
Five seems to have understood by now that Klaus delects in the faces he makes, and just slightly frowns at him.
- But I'm not one to back down from a challenge !
Ben and Five both snort.
- Back to square one ! ... Again !
He grabs Five again, drags him again, past Ben's room without slowing, and back to his room.
- I'm still not wearing those rags you call pants, Five says.
- They don't really flatter you.
Klaus looks at the clothes he gathered from the others' rooms, now lying at his feet.
- Then again, I may have an idea...
Five shivers.
~*~
They all come home - because it's home, in a way - at nightfall : Luther grunting, Allison calm as ever, Diego bustling with energy, Vanya shuffling around discreetly. As usual, they gather to discuss their progress, which is, none at all, and muse about Five and Klaus' absence.
Allison is the first to notice the weird shape hanging from the ceiling in front of the hearth, like some kind of... sheet ? It's dark, moving slightly, and the glow of a fire in the chimney can be seen through. Or maybe it's the start of something worse. Immediatly in alarm mode, Diego grabs one of his knives and starts edging forwards on the left, Luther takes the right, fists drawn. They close on the thing, ready to strike whatever is invading their houe.
- Fancy meeting you here, Klaus quips.
Diego and Luther can only blink at them.
- Welcome to Castle Klaus ! And Five, he adds. Klaus-Five. Klive.
- That sucks, Five remarks without looking up.
- What are you doing here ? Diego hisses.
- Devising a new gravity theory, why ?
He leans back, grabs his glass and toasts his brothers before emptying it.
Allison and Vanya join the boys and look at the decidely weird picture in front of them. Klaus and Five pushed the pricy couch aside to pile as many cushions as they could in front of the chimney, and are currently lying on them, under their decidely weird tent. Five is now wearing a pair of Allison's leggings with the legs rolled up twince, one of Klaus' hideous tie-dye shirts and a worn-out leather jacket ; the handling he's been victim ofhas left his hair mussed, far from his usual hairstyle, and his shoes currently lie under a dresser. They are both holding glasses of colorful drinks, and Reginald's old swords with which they are roasting marshmallows.
Luther opens his mouth to condemn what he probably sees as an affront, but Klaus is quicker.
- Marshmallow ? he offers, waving the bag in front of his face. We also have margaritas. Or coke, if it's not your jam. Grab a glass and a sword, big guy.
- Stop playing with those ! Luther finally growls. They're not toys.
- Aren't they ? And here I thought they were just some fancy sticks to grill marshmallows with my son !
Five jabs him sharply in the ribs with the hilt of his sword.
- How the hell am I your son ?
- What ? My dear little one rejects me ! Oh, how my fatherly heart is breaking !
- Shut your mouth or I'll shut it up for you.
- His first words of rejection ! How cute !
- He's kinda right, Diego remarks.
Five sends him a glare that could melt steel. Diego doesn't flinch.
- You're just two inches of eyeliner away from being a mini-Klaus.
- Which is very scary, Allison adds.
- You're so mean with me. All of you. I should keep my marshmallows for myself and not share with you. Including you, ungrateful son.
Five hits him with his sword again, and grabs the package from his hands. Klaus whines and dramatically falls back, under the gaze of his not very concerned siblings.
Allison is the first to shrug and sit with them. She takes one of the swords on the rack, sticks a marshmallow on it, and puts it in the flames. It's enough to convince Luther to join, with a few grunts. He's still disapproving, and glaring at them all he knows, but he shuts up and it's all that matters. Vanya and Diego join them too, and soon, they are all sitting together, chatting, laughing sometimes, needling Five about his new looks, bringing back the song of old times for a few moments.
(Until Luther looks up and asks :
- Wait, is that my sweater ?
And all Hell breaks loose.)
#umbrella academy#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#ben hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#just some fluff#I need fluff#als they are probably OOC and I don't care
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I wanna hear all the head-cannons please
HDGHDSGHDS OK BI HCS PART 2 HERE WE GO
MALOKAYOY GAY BOY
from a young age, chior could not keep his mouth shut
from about 6th grade, human sexuality was one of his favorite topics
besides atheism ofc
he becomes the classic case of “as an lgbt ally-”
and one time moritz is like are u gay or smth?
and melchiors like no!! i just support them!!! i like vagina!!!!
but that gets him thinking
and he takes some “am i gay?” quizzes
bc what if he always was? what if compulsory heterosexuality had tricked him into thinking he liked girls?
but titties,,, are good
but there were also some cute boys?
and then, with his extensive knowledge of lgbt history and human sexuality, he’s like YO IM BI
and he’s like “MORITZ you were RIGHT im not GAY but im BI”
and moritz is like uhh cool?
yeah after that he never shuts up about it and the “sexuality spectrum”
he also is an adamant believer in heterophobia
THE A REALHOE
what a bicon wrow
thinks shes straight for a while
loves people with strong opinions, hence the melchior crush
but once she realizes how annoying he is that fizzles out
there’s a little thing with otto too but that kinda fizzles out too
thea notices that she gets a lil fluttery feeling around wendla
and like wendla’s so sweet and when she touches thea’s hand or laughs thea gets a little rush
also wendla has some /socialist/ views and thea’s like😍😍😍😍
they kiss on a dare one night at a sleepover
it blows thea’s mind
she thinks she’s lesbian for a bit bc she doesn’t like any dudes
but she kinda has a thing for georg now
she and wendla date for a few months and it’s nice
so thea’s bi with a preference for girls
we stan
GAYORGY QUEERZITS
bicon who’s gay for otto lmao
he’s confused about his sexuality ever since otto kisses him in latin to distract herr sonnenstich from yelling at moritz
totally stole that from the askverse im sorry
he’s got a crush on thea beforehand so he then has to deal with the bi dilemma: having a crush on a guy and a girl at the same time
he’s a disaster bi who gets nervous around his crushes
he also takes those “am i gay?” quizzes
every lgb person has lmfao
bc georg’s an idiot he tells his bff anna about his otto crush
anna takes it upon herself to get them together
by that she tells otto that georg’s into him bc the three of them are bffls
they are the three amigos maybe i’ll do hcs on them
anyway, otto asks him out and georg freaks a little but obliges
they’re v cute though not as much pda as hernst jhdjhdshjd
ME LITTLE REALHOE
WROW
she’s a leather jacket bi thanks @betterbrighterbecki for this lovely fanon mel
badass with a good ass
she’s kinda always known that she liked girls and guys?
like she didn’t think about it too much
when hansi comes out to her as bi she’s like huh i think i am too
she’s so smooth
she’s lowkey a mess who snorts when she laughs and cries during disney movies but she’s still v smooth
goes out with bobby maler for a little
she also takes her motorcycle to priapia sometimes to visit her old friend ilse
they may or may not make out a little but that’s on the dl
mel’s not sure what they are but she enjoys it
she’ll steal ur gf nd ur bf
very nice
Sorry this took so long! To make up for it im gonna post a bi-board for all our (dw)sa bicons
Edit: board can be found here
#ilse and wendla are iconic lesbians if u were wondering#so is anna#and otto and ernst are iconic gays#otto might be pan idk#hope this was good!!#melchior gabor#georg zirschnitz#thea rilow#melitta rilow#rhiannon writes#hcs#spring awakening headcanons#dwsa#sa#spring awakening#deaf west spring awakening#ireadyourblog
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Part two
-“I swear if you pour that water on your corndog I’m gonna kill myself”
-“The powder works so much better”
-“Ah. Ah. Don’t make a lot of noise” (wish I remembered context for this one)
-“He’s going to smite me during second period”
“You’re going to get smitten bro”
-“I’m going to aggressively Gangnam style to Africa”
-“Wow, I don’t remember drinking this much water, ever”
-“I look like I’m walking like a godforsaken penguin”
-“All liberals are suicidal”
-“My dad is a giant teddy bear. Her dad, on the other hand, is who you should be scared of”
-“If my dad wanted to hide a body you’d never find it”
-“There are so many hoes at this school. That’s all I have to say to you”
-“I’m getting a headache where’s my chocolate”
-“Skinny banana? Don’t you mean Jacob’s penis?”
-“Wait let me write something” *proceeds to write Osama Bin Laden under religious leaders*
-“Well what happens if he makes a sandwich out of your body?”
“That’s cannibalism. But cannibalism will solve overpopulation and world hunger”
-“Last time I had a banana I realized you could stick a straw in it and blow and it makes the banana warm”
-“I can’t find the furry mask”
-“I want a Lightning McQueen waffle maker”
-“I need to download a Disney XD wallpaper right now”
-“Life’s not easy being green”
-“I’m gonna run Mr Woodfield up on my dick”
-“I have a new conditioner... I mean follower”
-“We should all get lockets and put a picture of Shaggy in them”
-“Kind of like when a car passes by you really fast and makes this noise” (he did the nyoom sound)
-“You should be a car Mr Childress”
-“Get that finance over here. Let me get. That. Tax.”
-“I wanna go home and eat ratatouille right now”
-“I don’t have a nice face so that leaves one thing. My ass”
-“Ben Shapiro is gonna kill all the liberals”
-“I made a fucky wucky, my bad”
-“No, dude, he would hear us cursing in the hallway at top volume and never said anything”
-“You know what Maddy? I don’t like you anymore. I don’t want to be friends anymore”
-“Maybe if you burn in the fires of hell all the alcohol will burn too”
-“Spreading the diabetes, one marshmallow at a time”
-“At least you got to preform in front of Colonel Sanders”
-“Who’s pet is she?”
-“Everybody gets Kraft Singles, on me”
-“I’ve been scarred for life so much it feels more like a tickling sensation”
-“No one wants to touch you!”
-“It’s less like a rape and more like a gangbang”
-“There is no leader we’re all submissive runts”
-“Temporary joy, permanent pain”
-“Heteronormativity can eat my ass”
-“So what should we have overlapping heterosexuality?”
-“Just because my voice sounds like a man doesn’t mean I am one”
-“I wasn’t expecting a sip of vodka at 7:40 in the morning”
-“If you can’t do it then the best way to go is: don’t do it”
-“If anything, you’re in the way of the wine”
-“I mean, if the Catholic Church had done it right, we would have communism”
-“He is the straightest gay man I know”
-“The last time I had orange juice, I think you guys let me have a mimosa”
-“Your jacket makes you a big blob”
-“You’re like Cetaphil moisturizer because you make me wet”
-“I wish I was as bomb diggity as Beyoncé”
-“My ice cream is crunchy”
-“Quick question, how do you lose a banana?”
-“I’m really confused, yet oddly aroused. Is this normal?”
-“What kind of damn Gucci dogs come here?” (talking about a place with $60 dog food)
-“Your knees look ripe for sucking”
-“Weenus penis suck my kneeus” (they said this in unison while doing the sign of the cross)
-“And my cat’s name is Crazy”
-“If I could drown in applesauce that would be nice”
-”Why do heroin when you can have garlic bread injected directly into your veins?”
-”It’s red ribbon week for the horns. Say no to crack”
-”Oh my god I’m so hungry right now, I should’ve brought my sushi”
-”Where is this man’s penis?”
-”Wait a minute, if a guy masturbates that means he’s using his dick more often, so why doesn’t it grow?”
-”Someone say something smart cause I can’t”
-”Does anyone here have self confidence?”
-”Hello small child. What’s it like having a high voice and ambitions?”
-”I walked over here and thought she was trying to be 21 Savage”
-”Oh my god are you worshipping the antichrist?”
-”See, I know a lot about North Korea because I plan to take it over”
-”Which sounds like a lesbian affair, but it’s not”
-”My mom can spot my hair on the ground and sniff me out”
-”Goddammit. Who is you?”
“Logic would dictate that I answer no”
“It’s machete time baby”
“I have to protect it as if it were my nutsack”
“If you don’t appreciate that, you’re wrong”
-”Your elbow is a bone it can’t be muscular”
-”San Angelo ain’t hell but you can see it”
-”There’s only two things to invest in. Paintings and land cause they aren’t making any more of it”
-”Cats need to be in the center of a pentagram”
-”If you get bored, drink”
-”They put an homage to blind people. Not like they’re gonna see it”
-”If you don’t have your green card you’re gonna get dimma-deported”
-”Why is the uncle taking pictures but keeping the camera for himself?”
-”My body is going to start physically rejecting fruit snacks”
-”I would wear a Wonder Woman costume to school”
-”I don’t know the first thing about anime”
-”I don’t know why my first thought was ‘cheese stick’”
-”DA DA DA is not the most exciting thing you’ve played! Shut up!
-”On the eighth day, God created trombones”
-”It smells like cheese in the microwave”
-”I wonder what would happen if I ate powdered pancake mix”
-”I guess I didn’t breast feed her long enough”
-”Hey kid, there’s a hotspot in the van”
-”That’s not going to be good for anything. My waist line or my budget”
-”I’ve had to pee four times. It’s noon”
-”Sword swallowers are the best deep throaters”
-”I don’t know where my socks went”
-”Maybe if you wore pants your legs wouldn’t be cold”
-”You could take a survey of everyone in this whole school and they’d say that Minecraft is a culture”
-”Yeah I would fake a broken arm if it would get me out of testing”
-”Can I have a spicy roll of corn?”
-”Where’s my Asian?”
-”I baked a fucking birthday cake last night”
-”It’s been christened. Christened by ass”
-”I’ve eaten so many expired tortillas my body’s probably used to it”
-”Broccoli and hard drugs are two different things”
-”You’re like the bitch whisperer”
-”Dominance wasn’t established until the later years, but it was effective nonetheless”
-”Is uber a country?”
-”I think I’m good. It’s like dusting off the scent of another woman”
-”You’re under arrest, if you really want to be”
-”I get drunk and I spend money”
-”No honey, that’s heartless. I can still be a caring racist”
-”Are big boy gains genetic?”
-”Wait so he moved the infinity gauntlet from his hand to his dick? What the literal fuck?”
-”If I get a chair with wheels, then I win”
-”I was looking up Foghat on ancestry.com”
-”We all know the more alcohol you consume, the more insightful you become”
-”I’ve had enough experiences in wineries and breweries to last me a lifetime, and I’m only nine”
-”Innuendos and Speedos: his story”
-”You have sobriety on your side”
-”You spilled beer on the Scrabble board”
-”How many times do I tell you, we don’t listen to the retarded kids in school”
-”Furries can enjoy shitposting also”
-”Slow songs make me cry”
-”The resistor is your ass”
-”God dangit there’s a freakin egg in my boot”
-”Oh, Liberia. I know that from the vine”
-”Screaming is kid friendly”
-”Textual evidence states that that’s bullshit”
-”I’m on an emotional high and I’ll crash four hours later”
-”Yeah I got these yesterday and they’re already looking scuffed”
-”Yeah there’s always at least one cocky bastard”
-”All I need to know is how much a coat hanger costs”
-”I kept thinking Europe was a state”
-”I am a handy woman”
-”Oh my fucking god there’s communist Superman. I kind of love that”
-”Why is dog a gender?”
-”I will flood your mucus membranes with urine”
-”Does that mean it’s violent masturbation?”
-”Flex seal is the only 100% effective contraception”
-”It’s like telling someone not to do drugs while sniffing crack”
-”I like my men like I like my apples: red”
-”I invade the percussion’s privacy and pretend I’m one of them”
-”Are you calling my lap dances mediocre?”
-”Don’t even talk to me if you haven’t made out with a Frenchman”
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Little things you may have missed/ some extra analysis for Handsome Devil
- At the beginning, Ned has 90 minutes to write his essay and the movie is 90 minutes long
- Ned's jacket has scrabble letters spelling out NO on it
- Ned has posters on both his side of the room and Conor's (what a space hog)
- Ned has a guitar but can only play one chord?? How did he get this?? Maybe he inherited it from his mum
- Conor had no reason to punch weasel except... maybe he was mad at weasel for bullying Ned abt being gay :))) hmm
- Pascal spanks weasel's ass in the locker room I was laughing but also wtf
- Ned and Conor sit next to each other in English!!!
- Also the song Ned copied when he wrote his family member essay is a really good metaphor about how different Ned feels (he's gay and therefore an outsider)
- The sign changes on the Berlin Wall from "Ned" and "him" to a crumpled "Ned" and "press ups"
- After Ned says "follow me then" and turns around Conor does the GAYEST smile I have ever seen
- Ned has plants on his windowsill
- When they were taking the Berlin Wall down they had to get other ppl to help. Like they had to explain how they didn't hate each other anymore to other ppl (probably the less homophobic members of the rugby team)
- As Ned is reaching for Conor's pocket he has a Gay Crisis and (I think) panicked bc he thinks Ned is gonna kiss him or touch his heart or some gay shit like that
- Conor has this smile that he only does at Ned whenever Ned isn't looking
- Conor has tan lines from his rugby shorts (put on some spf my god)
- I'm sorry for talking about this so much but Conor's voice when he says to Ned "are you gonna be there?" Is so Soft & Fond & Gay and when Ned says it's not his thing Conor just [disappointed gay blinking]
- Ned basically almost never wears the school uniform?? Fuck the dress code Ned good for you
- Mr. Sherry does not give one singular fuck about sports and loves tea
- Conor's dad probably verbally/physically abused him while he was drunk when he found out why Conor was fighting at his old school
- Conor's guitar is covered with stickers
- There's no heterosexual explanation for the singing scene when Ned says that all he can hear is Conor's voice
- On that note, Conor has a beautiful voice
- Ned dyes his hair!!!
- When Conor puts up the school flag between him and Ned it's a metaphor for the school/rugby dividing them
- The fact that Ned knew Conor would go to the boat??? Like he knew exactly where to find Conor and it just blows my mind that they know each other so well
- Conor's boat is named Sirius
- Conor carries Ned's bag for him as they're running to the game
- Conor chose to have Ned with him for moral support while talking to his team
- Rugby is a very touchy sport
- Also Ned and Conor's hug at the end was just. So Good. it wasn't one of those No Homo bro hugs and I am so glad.
- My boy Ned wrote all that shit and read it to people (he projected) like he wrote about gay bars in the national essay competition
- The soundtrack is on Spotify but it doesn't include the instrumentals
- Ok that's it thank you for reading this ily bye
#ive watched this movie 3 times in the past week#i cant physically cope#handsome devil#mine#fionn o'shea#nicholas galitzine#andrew scott#ned roche#conor masters#edit: ive watched it 4 times now#what am i doing with my life#25 notes#50 notes#100 notes#150 notes#200 notes#250 notes#300 notes#350 notes#450 notes#500 notes#550 notes#600 notes#650 notes#700 notes#750 notes#800 notes#850 notes#1k notes#2k notes
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