#Boyish Sense Of Wonder Club

[yuurei20]

Lilia Info Compilation part 1: Age

Lilia does not remember the date of his actual birthday. He wrote in “January 1st” on his enrollment documentation for NRC, but the day does not seem to have any particular significance to him.

In Wish Upon a Star, Silver wishes for Lilia “to have a long life” because “he may look healthy, but he’s getting on in years…or at least, he should be. I think. He looks much younger than he actually is. I’m not sure of his actual age. He always skirts the question when I ask.”

Lilia is forgetful: he forgets ingredients for a class with Crewel, what club he is a member of, and Silver hints that Lilia seems to forget things that he has said. In a possible reference to Sleeping Beauty, he says, “I’ve always been bad at finding misplaced things”.

Lilia seems aware of this forgetfulness, saying, “Life is never boring if it’s constantly changing. If anything, I’d love it if there were more such upheavals. Though it all fades away in the end, leaving me to wonder what part was a dream and what was reality".

Lilia also says “You have questions? Go ahead and ask; I've seen everything. Though I've forgotten most of it.” Malleus says that there is a picture of Lilia in their history text book.

Lilia says he “can more or less recall everything that’s happened these past five hundred years”, and that is the best hint we have received as to what his actual age might be. He tells Trey a story about magical pen fads, but Trey seems reluctant to believe that he is speaking from experience.

Trey has a voice line where he explains that Lilia once said that “birthdays are only happy occasions for the first 50 years or so”, and Trey dismisses this as Lilia’s sense of humor.

During the Phantom Bride event Lilia says that he is acquainted with Sam’s great-great-grandfather (present tense), and Cater, says that he can’t tell if Lilia is joking. Lilia also complains of lower back pain, which is possibly referenced in one of his battle sprite animations.

Whatever his age may be he does not look it, and he knows it; one of his first lines in the main story is “Despite my fresh-faced, boyish good looks, it would be inaccurate to call me a “child”.

[duskhallowed]

ergebenheit  answered :

This is the second time she encounters the man, not because she wants to but because of her job (though this time it’s not involving him). These days she gets to have side quests like this where she’s tasked to trail men or women who think their partners were having an affair. And somehow, two of their clients in the past have raised the same guy with two different names which came to her surprise at first, but now there’s an odd sense of familiarity with his face (which doesn’t bear the best impression). If she can, she would definitely whack his head, kick his arse if opportunity arises, so much for fooling with women she thought. “I appreciate the compliment. So is this how you flirt with every woman you see?” her words curl with an unamused tone as she takes a sip of the wine handed to her at the club earlier, hoping he’d leave her alone so she can get back to her task at hand. 

Lee Pureun recognizes the pretty P.I. ( @ergebenheit ) yes, she'd left quite an impression on him: being the reason he'd found his belongings in a box, on the doorstep of a ex-girlfriends apartment . . . they had been left to rot out in the elements, rained on, and he was pretty sure a stray cat had peed in the box, too. all of his clothes and his phone charger and the toothbrush were ruined beyond repair. BUT ALAS. he supposed he did deserve it for playing with some poor girls' heart . . . he wasn't pretending he was an innocent victim in the situation, BUT, in his defense ! he HADN'T ever told the girl they were an exclusive couple, either... so WAS IT REALLY HIS FAULT IF SHE HAD ERRONEOUSLY ASSUMED THEM TO BE SO, just because he had lavished her with romantic sentiments ?!?!? still, he doesn't hold a grudge against Naeun at all. she was just doing her job. he sighs, shakes his head at the nameless detective in light-hearted disappointment. " don't be like that, " he complains. it's natural for her to be defensive ( thinking she's talking to a filthy CHEATER ) but his charming boyish smile is meant to disarm that. " if you really followed me for two weeks, you know I don't flirt with every woman I see ... only hot ones! " he jokes.

was she on another job, he wonders? taking a sip of his flavored beer, he tries to follow the path of her eyes. " who are you following now? I'll bet you a drink: I can tell you if they're cheating or not ... if I'm wrong, I'll owe you any drink you want. deal ? "

[gildedmuse]

Raizo Reactions (Are Amazing)

I mean it. They perfectly encapsulate everything about every single one of these characters. Assuming that you find Law's most defining characteristic to be "constant disappointment in how his life/plans are going".

From The Strawhats That Still Retain Boyish Wonder:

Pure Despair

They aren't even trying to hide their level of disappointment. I mean, you guys, just a reminder: Chopper once accidently - in an act of love and nativity - killed the one man he considered family. But this here? This is what has made him pass out from utter heartbreak.

This ninja is just not up to his standards.

From A Mihawk Trained, Mihawk Approved Roronoa Zoro:

Well, that's the last fuck I give.

Look, during his time not wasted being heterosexual studying the blade under Mihawk, Zoro learned a lot of things. Most of them bring me great joy, then there is how he learned to cut through the strongest substance known to man:

~emotions~

From Trafalgar The-D-Stands-For-Disappointment-As-In-Life-Is-A-Constant-D-To-Me Waters Law:

Just...

And maybe you don't think that's a lot, but this is Trafalgar Fucking Law we're dealing with. Expert at looking cool, whether it's a smug as fuck Sabaody style chill or the silent badass in a billowing coat Dressrosa sort of frigid yet fabulous, Law's proven to be a bit of an expert at always looking like a cooler, slightly more adult (both in a maturity way but also you know in a wickedly sexy way) version of you.

But this? This is such a blow to what is left of this boy that isn't just the word DEATH tattooed onto a leather jacket smeared in blood. Here, I made this gif to better show what Law is going through because words cannot express his anguish

Yeah...

Yeah.

So this is basically like all that tied up into one moment and yet somehow worse because unlike the tragedy of losing his arm, his dignity, or his parents, this one manages to ruin ninjas.

[feeder86]

Embrace the Chase

Daddy? Was that guy really serious, grumbled Dan to himself as he took himself off home alone. The gay scene was such a bizarre place and Dan had struggled to find his way within it. Having only recently decided to explore his attraction to guys, at the grand old age of thirty, he had frequented many different gay venues and left them all feeling completely out of place. He couldn’t help feeling that he had missed out when he was younger; fresh out of the box and ready to take on one sexy guy after another. 

Like his father before him, Dan’s hair was prematurely turning a little gray in places. He began to feel like an old man amongst a sea of slender, fun-loving gay guys, who clearly felt none of the guilt about their sexuality that had plagued Dan’s life up until now. Going to the big gay clubs had certainly been an error. Being over twenty-five seemed to automatically discount him from being flirted with. If he got up on the dance floor, he felt the judgemental eyes of them all, wondering what the old guy was doing there. But even the small successes were hollow. To the girls, Dan’s pepper gray hair made him appear distinguished. However, here the rules were all different here.

Dan had to admit that he hadn’t expected it all to be so hard. He had his boyish good-looks and an athletic build, with strong shoulders from his many years of playing the drums for his old band. His dress sense was a little dull, he realised, looking at some of the outrageous things a few of the boys were wearing out. However, he didn’t want to draw attention to himself in the way that some of those guys clearly craved. That was how he came to find a bar, tucked away on a quiet back street, that he felt much more suited to. Here, the men were a mix of older and younger; the beer was good and the music didn’t suck quite as badly as everywhere else. But that didn’t mean that it was perfect either. There was an odd hierarchy that Dan couldn’t immediately put his finger on. On a Friday night, a noisy crowd of large, bearded men sat at the table below the front window, chatting loudly with their big, booming voices and seeming to know every person who came in. They watched them all, seeing the inevitable drama unfold, whilst nursing a beer in their large hands, resting on their guts.

“Come sit with us,” a large, tall guy ordered as Dan looked around the room, clearly alone. Dan had only been there a minute or two, and yet he already got the sense that he was being invited to sit at the ‘cool table’. 

He sat down shyly, but the large, boisterous personalities gathered around soon drew him out of himself. They hadn’t been put off by how new Dan was to the scene and they were the only ones who seemed to be able to hold a discussion about cars and decent music. Dan clicked with them straight away, but he was still an odd fit, sat there with them all. The old boys were not in the sort of shape that was conventionally thought of as attractive; all of them, every last one, was carrying a large, rounded stomach that filled their lap when they sat down. In fact, it was odd how cool they were about being so big, and how little it seemed to affect their confidence or bravado.

“Put your tongue away,” laughed Roger, seeing Dan checking out a cute, skinny guy across the room. “It’s bro-code, you don’t want to upset Jim, checking out his ex.”

Dan pulled a face, waiting for the punchline that never came. “Jim… you dated that guy?” he asked in disbelief. They must have been playing with him. Jim was in his mid forties with a 400lb body and gut that literally could have passed for a beach ball.

Jim squinted at the dance floor and then nodded in recognition. “Oh, yeah, um… what’s his name?” he asked the gang.

“Harry,” a couple replied.

“That’s it!” Jim nodded. “He was fun. Nice and flexible!”

Dan felt like the rules had been turned on their head again. He tried to consider how to phrase what he wanted to ask, without coming across as rude. If this had been a straight venue, there was no way a huge, fat guy like Jim would be taking away the pretty, young, fit girl home. “Was it just a drunk, one night thing?” he asked.

“No,” chuckled Roger. “Jim dated him for about three months. I was only joking about the bro-code though. If we implemented that rule, there would only be a couple of guys left in here for you to flirt with.”

“You really don’t understand the whole bear thing, do you?” Vern laughed, mindlessly running his hand over the large expanse of his monstrous gut. The guys all laughed, looking thoroughly pleased with themselves and Dan simply laughed with them. He liked his new friends, even if he didn’t quite understand them.

Being so much further on in their careers, Dan’s new friends had a lot more disposable income than he did; newly single, renting a crappy little apartment to save the embarrassment of having to move back home after breaking up with his girlfriend. Dan felt like the pauper of the group, struggling to scrape enough money for a few beers with them on a Friday night.

“Ah, here he is!” Roger called out, the moment Dan walked in. “He’ll take the cabin.”

“Cabin?” Dan asked, feeling a little alarmed.

“We’re going on a cruise in two weeks, but Roger’s buddy had to pull out. So, it’s yours if you want it?” asked Paul.

Dan flushed a little red and felt awkward to reply. “Thanks, but, there’s no way I can afford that,” he mumbled, wondering how pathetic he must have sounded.

Roger pulled a face. “The cabin’s already paid for, buddy. We just need someone who can get two weeks off work at short notice. If you can make it, it’s yours.”

The guys started giving the cruise the big sell. They’d done it every year and could answer any of the questions Dan had about it. He felt awful, accepting something so big from guys he’d only known a few weeks, but he was humbled that they liked him enough to offer such a gift. “Sure,” he smiled. “Why not?”

Dan could hardly believe his luck when he looked around his own cabin a few days later. Going on a cruise vacation had seemed like something so far out of his reach and yet, here he was. Before long, there was a knock at his door so loud and firm that Dan knew exactly who it was right away. Upon opening up, he was greeted by the sight of four of the guys, strolling straight into his cabin.

“Sorry to give you the smallest room,” Roger said cheerfully. “But you’re the smallest guy, so it made sense” he grinned, rubbing his own large gut in a way that seemed completely habitual.

“It’s perfect,” Dan smiled back gratefully, suddenly sensing that his once spacious and breezy cabin now felt more than a little claustrophobic with these four enormously overweight guys in here with him.

“We’re going up to Paul’s favourite restaurant,” Vern explained.

“What you’re wearing is fine,” Roger jumped in, leaving Dan in no doubt that they expected him to come along.

Dan grabbed what he needed and followed the large men down the long corridors and up onto the deck. The sweet aromas from the many restaurants flooded the entertainment spaces and the hungry boys were eager to get started. Dan had made the mistake of following the crowd and ordering similar quantities, not realising that the portions would be so big. He struggled after some time, finding it amazing that the guys around him had eaten so fast and were still chatting away as if all this food wasn’t affecting them at all. His mouth chewed, but there was no enjoyment to be had from it. His stomach was tight and even swallowing felt laboured. 

“Geez! Help the boy out, would you guys?” Vern called from the head of the table.

Dan looked up, realising that Vern was gesturing to him. Chubby hands came in front all around; the remaining food disappearing before his eyes.

“Don’t worry, man,” Roger offered, slapping Dan on his back as if he was someone to be pitied in that moment. “It’s all inclusive, so just order as much as you want. There’ll always be one of us greedy lot to help you finish! ”

Following the other guys up to the deck, Dan sighed quietly as he realised that they had all decided to head up onto the deck for a swim. His stomach felt so bloated and full, Dan just felt like he needed to lie down in his cabin for an hour. But, remembering that he hadn’t paid for this vacation, he dutifully collected his swim shorts so that he could join them. 

The sun was shining but the deck chairs were easy to find. “Geez! You’re all skin and bone!” Jim laughed when he saw Dan gingerly taking off his shirt. 

Dan immediately put his hand to his bloated stomach, feeling anything but skinny at that moment. But, looking around him, with all the guys and their rounded pot bellies and ball guts, he supposed that he probably did look tiny in their eyes. 

“Don’t worry. A couple of weeks with us will soon sort you out!” Vern chuckled, rubbing sun cream onto the shelf of his gut. However, just then, his attention was caught on a waiter who strolled by: skinny and probably no older than twenty; even Dan’s gaydar was lighting up; that tight little ass of his practically crying out to be fucked as he strutted about the deck. It was uncanny how, even here, Vern seemed to be getting checked out, sat there like a hairy beached whale on his deck chair. “Chaser alert!” Vern whispered, seemingly very pleased with himself. He stood up, waddled over to the bar and immediately started flirting until the guy handed over a napkin for Vern to write his number down on.

Dan watched from the side, completely fascinated. Just how did Vern do it?

“You coming in for a swim?” asked Sam; one of the crowd that Dan had only met that morning for the first time. Being the closest in age to him, Dan could sense that he was going to get on well with Sam during the vacation. The guy hadn’t seemed quite so overweight with his shirt on; however, now Sam was only in his swimming costume, it was plain how much of a swollen, hard-looking pot belly he had on him. It looked odd on him, like it didn’t quite fit, and it was littered with tiny little stretch marks that Dan had never seen on a guy before.

“No swimming on a full stomach!” Jim called out before Dan could answer. overhearing the conversation. “Sit your big ass down, Sam!” he laughed.

Sam nodded, almost obediently and tapped his forehead like his inclination to go for a swim had been a bad one. He sat himself down on his deck chair, like the others, and rested his hands on the top part of his rounded gut. “Is someone getting the beers?” he asked.

“Don’t worry, boys!” came Paul’s voice. “Beer and snacks are on their way!”

Dan simply lay back, glad that he hadn’t had to make an excuse for not going for a swim. He accepted his ice cool beer gratefully and tried to rest his eyes as the sun stroked his skin.

Within a few days, the guys had seemed to sniff out every gay guy aboard the ship. Vern had regaled the story of how he had seduced the waiter, whilst Paul, Jim and even a few of the others, had found their own romances to engage their time with.

Sam seemed to be the only exception to this. More than anyone else, he seemed to spend his time eating under the watchful eye of someone else in the gang. There was some sort of power dynamic that Dan couldn’t quite put his finger on. Sam appeared subservient to everyone else and he picked up, more than a few times, knowing looks between him and the older guys.

“Did Sam make it for another lunch this afternoon?” asked Jim, looking around at the others.

“He’s a little late, but he’s up there now with Paul, getting something,” Vern replied, checking his watch.

Dan’s brows furrowed as he licked the large ice cream cone one of the guys had brought over for them all. The more time he spent with the guys, the less he understood them at all. Why would they care about Sam’s eating schedule? It was as if they all enjoyed holding some sort of power over the guy, and Dan gradually became convinced that their preoccupation with Sam’s diet was a part of a kind of domination play between them all.

“You okay?” Dan asked as Sam joined him later that evening at the bar, getting another beer, away from the rest of the table.

“Never better,” Sam replied, sounding anything but. He seemed almost short of breath and he rubbed his stomach as if it hurt. Wearing the same shirt as he had worn on the first night, Dan was almost a little embarrassed to be stood there next to him. The cruise was clearly having an impact on Sam’s waistline. The buttons strained and his portly stomach, that had been fairly concealable at the start of the cruise, now seemed to have amassed a new spherical shape to it, pushing itself forwards like it was graduating into something much more imposing.

“Is everything all right with you and the guys?” Dan asked, feeling concerned. “I can’t help getting the feeling that they sometimes…” He paused, trying to think of the right word. “It sometimes seems like they bully you a little.”

Sam smiled and held back a laugh; his double chin forming as he did so. “Yeah, yeah…” Again, he seemed like he was trying not to laugh. “It’s all good, man. When you get to know the guys a little better… you’ll understand, trust me.”

“Understand what?” Dan asked, feeling more confused than ever. But just as Sam seemed about to answer, Vern’s loud voice sounded from across the room. 

“Hey, Dan, don’t bother getting another beer. We’re heading off for some waffles,” he shouted, standing up along with everyone else.

Dan’s eyes lit up. He hadn’t realised how much he was in the mood for something sweet until Vern had said it. “You coming?” he asked Sam.

Sam exhaled as if psyching himself up for something. “You bet I am!” he nodded.

“Shit!” Dan exclaimed as he dressed for work the day after getting home. He stood in the mirror, flabbergasted at how difficult it was to button his dress pants up. He squeezed the two sides of the material together and growled, seeing for the first time how much blubber had formed on his stomach. Standing back after finally succeeding, he stared in horror at the small, fleshy love handles that dripped ever so slightly over the waistband and turned to gaze in disgust at how much fuller and more padded his butt seemed, filling up the material. This wasn’t an isolated incident; every one of his pants appeared to fit with the same embarrassing tightness. He’d stepped on the scales; eyes widening as he saw the number climb up twenty pounds over his usual weight. Who the fuck gained twenty pounds in two weeks?

Dan had expected everyone to comment on his weight at work. To him, it seemed obvious: the puffier cheeks on his face, his chest, butt and, of course, that frustrating little paunch that seemed to have arrived from nowhere. But, bizarrely, no one had commented, and it was only when Dan was back with the other guys at the bar that Friday night that he finally got the whole thing off his chest. He’d never known them all to be so quiet, listening intently as he recounted trying to get his pants to fit and his alarm at how much he had gained.

One by one, the guys all shared similar tales of tight clothing since they had got back and the atmosphere seemed to change completely. The guys were all closed in on each other, rather than pursuing the crowd of guys on the dance floor below as they usually did. Their talk seemed intimate; almost erotic.

Standing at the bar that night, Dan felt a hand brush against his love handle which, despite choosing the loosest shirt in his closet, still seemed rather apparent. He turned to see a cute-looking guy he’d seen at the bar a few times before, smiling at him flirtatiously as he walked along to the dance floor.

Returning to his seat with the guys, Dan noticed the hot guy making eyes at him while he danced. “I think I’m getting flirted with,” he whispered to the boys, turning his head and nodding back in the direction of the young guy who had smiled at him at the bar.

Immediately, the guys all grinned. “Oh, Kevin!” they all laughed, seeming a little impressed and yet unsurprised at the same time. “Yeah, you’re exactly his type after your little vacation gain.”

Dan looked at them perplexed.

“He likes the dad-bod types,” Vern explained. “When you chat to him, push your belly out a little bit more. He’ll be putty in your hands.”

Now it was Dan’s turn to laugh, stopping only when he saw the blank faces staring at him. “You’re joking, right?” he asked.

Vern sat back a little. “Fine, don’t believe me,” he smiled, raising his hands innocently. I’m only much older and wiser than you, what do I know about how to seduce guys?”

Now it was Paul’s turn to jump in. “Just trust us,” he stated earnestly. “We’ve known Kevin a good couple of years. Just push your belly out a little. He won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”

Dan still wasn’t sure if he was the subject of some elaborate joke, but as he stood up to make his move on the handsome young guy on the dancefloor, he didn’t hold back his stomach as he had done the rest of the week. Then, as Kevin’s smile got wider and wider as he approached, Dan did something he would never ever have believed he would do. He pushed a little with his gut, making his stomach seem even more bloated than it had already become. “Hi there,” he smiled. “Fancy a dance?”

It took less than a few minutes for Dan to work out that the boys had been absolutely right in suggesting to him that he emphasised his newly padded stomach. As he and Kevin slipped over to the side of the dance floor, Dan could feel the hot guy’s hands exploring his body, rubbing over his small paunch and love handles, moaning with appreciation.

“How come I’ve not seen you around here before?” Kevin asked between kisses.

“I’m here every Friday night,” Dan replied, only a little offended that Kevin had not noticed him until now. “Maybe… maybe it’s because I’ve gained a few pounds recently,” he smiled, taking Kevin’s hand and putting it back on his stomach, where it had been roaming around for the last five minutes.

The lust in Kevin’s eyes was more than plain to see. “I think it really suits you!” he marvelled.

Dan enjoyed the feeling of being in the centre of such love and adoration. He pushed his stomach out even more. “So do I,” he nodded, staring at Kevin’s sexy lips that he wanted to kiss again. “So do I.”

It had been so long since Dan had had good sex! He hadn’t realised how much he had needed it until afterwards. He strutted about the next week feeling like he was king of the world.

“So, what time does Kevin usually show up here?” Dan asked the guys as they settled down for their Friday night drinks.

The guys rolled their eyes. “Forget Kevin. He’s just a hot mess. You can do better!”

“But… you were the ones telling me to go for it last week,” Dan grumbled back.

“There are plenty of other fish in the sea,” Jim laughed, swiping his hand, showing of the slowly building sea of guys in the bar.”

“Take your pick,” Paul added. “Between us, we’re pretty much experts on all of them. We can help you get whoever you want.”

The idea intrigued Dan and he looked around. “There was a guy in the corner who had always caught his attention in the past. Tall, slender and with the face of an angel. “What about that guy?” he asked with interest. The guys squinted towards the back and clarified which of the boys Dan was referring to.

“That’s Jake,” Paul nodded. “He’s a chaser. He’s more into guys bigger than you. Although…” he pondered,sitting back to get a better sideways look at Dan’s stomach, “...you have clearly gained a few pounds recently.”

Vern shook his head dismissively. “Nah, no chance. I’ve never seen Jake hook up with a guy less than two hundred pounds.”

“What are you now?” Paul asked, sounding almost hopeful on Dan’s behalf.

“One-eighty,” Dan mumbled.

“Not too bad then,” Vern nodded. “A couple of weeks and you would be big enough to be in with a shot with him.”

“What? You mean, gain twenty pounds?” Dan scoffed. “I’d never get laid again!”

“This bar is full of chasers. It’s famous for it. Why do you think it’s always so packed, even though the big gay venues are ages away? Trust me, in here, you get fat, you get laid!”

Before now, Dan hadn’t really understood the whole ‘chaser’ culture that the guys would occasionally reference. He recalled in his mind how fixated and horny Kevin had been, rubbing his hands over Dan’s swollen middle. He wasn’t about to rush out and gain a whole bunch of weight just for the sake of it, but those ideas fermented in his brain over the coming weeks, making it easy for him to not do anything about the pounds he had gained over the cruise. Besides, he had other matters to think about. Thanks to all of the advice of his new friends, Dan had networked his way up the career ladder and was starting to feel his finances ease slightly. The price for that came from the many evenings he was spending at his desk, catching up on training and upskilling himself for his new roles. The idea of joining a gym was laughable and takeout meals became all too convenient. 

For most single men in their thirties, gaining weight would have been a disaster. But, for Dan, the experience seemed to coincide with the biggest uptick in his sex life that he had ever experienced. He was so close to two hundred pounds, why not just… let it happen? It felt so freeing and empowering to let go of the anxiety and self-imposed rules that he had always had about his eating habits. Now he could eat what he wanted, when he wanted. The years of hiding his attraction to guys and caring so deeply about what other people thought of him had left him feeling exhausted. Most of his old friends had drifted away after he finished with his long-term girlfriend and now, more than ever before, Dan needed to be completely selfish. He wanted to experience the awesome sex he should have been getting all those years ago when he was too shy to embrace his sexuality. He loved sex, he loved guys, he got on better with his new friends than he ever had with his old ones. Life could be so sweet if he just allowed himself the freedom to take it.

“What did you think of those beers I sent over?” Jim asked.

“Yeah, they’re great!” Dan nodded, delighting in the fact that Jim’s job gave him ready access to such strange perks; like free packs of European beers that he was more than willing to share with his buddies. “Nothing better than coming home to a couple of fresh beers every night,” he nodded gratefully.

One by one, Dan saw the guys’ eyes drift down to his little paunch. A few months ago, he would have squirmed awkwardly, but in this group, having a gut was a source of pride and masculinity. Yeah, he was getting a beer belly, but so what? His fuller figure was also making him one of the most popular guys at the bar. There was just something about having a guy get so horny, rubbing his gut; it was a phenomenon he couldn’t really put into words. Finally bedding Jake last weekend had properly cemented the idea that Dan didn’t want to go back to his old lighter, punier body.

“You should come over to Vern’s place on a Wednesday night and have some pizza with us sometime,” Jim grinned, looking around at the other guys.

“He’s not ready for that yet,” Vern shot back, giving Jim a harsh, warning look for making the suggestion.

“You guys meet up every Wednesday?” Dan asked, surprised that none of them had ever mentioned it before.

Vern sighed and decided to level with Dan right there and then. “You’ll get your invite, don’t worry. I just think you need to get to know us all a bit better first.”

Dan was about to ask Vern what exactly he was referring to; after all, surely he knew pretty much everything about the guys by now. But at that moment, his attention was caught elsewhere. A stunningly hot guy had just strolled in: young, tall, pretty and athletic, he seemed to have the best parts of all the best guys in here, all rolled into one. “Who the fuck is THAT?” Dan spat; his tongue practically hanging out. “Please tell me he’s a chaser too!”

The guys all looked across, then chuckled, looking at each other. “That’s Robbie,” Paul explained. “He must be back from college.” He paused, as if wondering how to phase what he wanted to say next. “He’s a chaser, alright. But… he’s definitely a bit too kinky for the likes of you.”

“Do you reckon I’m in with a chance?” Dan asked, sitting up properly and feeling an urgent need to go and try his luck in chatting the guy up before someone else pounced on him.

“Careful, Dan!” Vern cautioned as the guy stood up to make his move. “Paul’s right. Robbie may be little too kinky for you to handle.”

“Can I buy you a drink?” Dan asked as he stood behind the handsome young guy at the bar.

Robbie turned, delighting Dan as he looked him up and down, grinning with approval at what he saw. “Well, hello there!” Robbie sang back playfully. “You can certainly buy me a drink,” he smiled.

Raising his arm for the bartender’s attention, Dan realised that he had never felt so excited to be chatting someone up before. He’d heard the guys’ warnings, but what did it matter? However kinky Robbie could be, he was all up for it. Robbie was someone he just had to have; just look at that tight ass and bulge in the crotch!

“So, how come I’ve not seen you here before?” Robbie asked, accepting his glass and gazing confidently into Dan’s eyes.

“I’m only here on Friday nights,” Dan replied. “Plus, if you were here a few months ago, you might not recognise me now.” He patted his stomach, which he pushed out a little in the hope of ensnaring the gorgeous chaser. “I’ve put on a little weight recently.”

As chat up lines went, the weight thing was definitely a strange one. However, Dan always found that it worked like a charm for him. Guys were always interested to hear about his new belly and eager to compliment him on his look. Robbie appeared to be no different. The words landed on him and lit up his face like a slot machine. “Freshly fattened!” he teased, reaching his hand out to rub Dan’s little paunch. “You hanging out with the big guys over there?” he asked, pointing back at Vern and the rest of the guys. “No wonder you’re packing on the pounds!”

“They’ve certainly opened my eyes a bit,” Dan nodded, deciding to rub his belly; knowing that it was his best feature to keep a guy like Robbie interested. They took the drinks into a quieter corner and chatted flirtatiously for the next hour, until they could stand it no more; getting a cab and heading back to Dan’s place for the rest of the night.

Robbie was so much more into the belly than any of the other chasers Dan had been with. In the cab, his hands had slid underneath Dan’s shirt, before he finally unbuttoned it as they kissed. He grabbed at the new fat, pinching it and jiggling it; growling with lust. But Robbie was so incredibly sexy; Dan’s dick ached for him. Wanting to head straight into the bedroom, Dan felt dismayed when Robbie wanted to slow things down and sit on the couch, kissing.

It was hard to not feel like a king, sat there on his couch, legs spread and having Robbie working him to perfection with his mouth. The guy had found some ice cream in Dan’s freezer and seemed to enjoy the sight of him eating it. More than once, Robbie got him quite close to climaxing, but the experience kept rumbling on. After the ice cream, Robbie found some chips, then chocolate and other snacks. His hands kept rubbing over the increasingly tight stomach and he lifted his head up to kiss it and worship the small belly as often as he could.

Things seemed to switch as Robbie took him into the bedroom. Dan had the exciting feeling that he was being controlled. His gut was surprisingly heavy and full. When Robbie offered to sit on his crotch and do the hard work, Dan didn’t complain. He lay back against the pillows, eyes rolling into the back of his head as Robbie’s tight, perfect ass cheeks slipped over his dick.

“Open up,” Robbie whispered, grabbing one of the cupcakes Dan had bought for his work friend’s birthday and forgotten to take with him that morning. Dan obliged, feeling that he would do anything in that moment for the gorgeous guy gently bouncing on his dick. “I love guys who know how to eat like you can,” Robbie went on, delighting in the huge, enthusiastic bite Dan took, desperate to impress. 

Once again, Dan felt ready to come, and yet that moment never seemed to arrive. Here he was, six cupcakes down and still feeling on the edge of it all. 

“Let me fuck you,” Robbie suddenly suggested, climbing off Dan’s hardness. 

Dan took a moment to catch up. He’d rarely been asked to do this by the guys he’d brought home, but there didn’t seem to be any inclination in his head to refuse. Rolling onto his front, Dan felt sluggish as he went onto all fours, presenting his spread butt cheeks for the incredibly sexy guy he had brought home. He winced slightly as Robbie’s thick erection worked its way inside him and then slowly built up momentum.

Dan’s gut felt heavy as it sank down to the bed. He could feel all the weight he had gained over the past few months, rocking, jiggling and bouncing a little as Robbie took over the fucking. More than that, he could sense Robbie watching it all; his fingertips gently sliding over the flesh of his love handles and underneath to find his belly.  “Mmm, I love fucking fat guys!” the chaser growled with surprising authority.

Feeling his dick leaking, Dan realised that he had never been dominated like this before. The feeling was overwhelming; giving up control, letting someone else do whatever they wanted to him. So when Robbie’s hand stretched to grab another cupcake, Dan willingly opened his mouth to take it whole. Robbie’s fingertips pushed it into his mouth as the guy’s hips continued to pound.

“That’s it!” Robbie called out. “Eat like a fucking pig for me!”

Dan didn’t really know where it came from, or why. Feeling the desperate need to please, his mind conjured the image of a little pig and he immediately snorted like one as he chewed the cupcake still pressed against his mouth. As he did so, he felt the throb of Robbie’s hardness and the guy physically shook with lust. Abandoning the cupcake, Robbie’s free hand now went straight to Dan’s hardness, milking it with a speed and determination that the guy knew could only have one inevitable conclusion. He needed to come; he’d never been so horny in his life. He oinked encouragingly, hoping it would spur Robbie on to let him finish. He squealed and grabbed at the last cupcake himself, smashing it into his mouth.

“Oh… FUCK!” Robbie marvelled, working his hips, leaning over Dan’s back and stroking his hardness furiously. They both made an almost pained sound as the feeling of climaxing overtook them. The pleasure was so great, so powerful and long lasting. When Dan finally flopped back into his bed, he knew that he would need to do that again sometime. And again. And again.

“So, we heard that you and Robbie had a good time last weekend,” Jim asked with a coy smile.

Dan eyed them all suspiciously. “Yeah,” he nodded. “He sat on my dick very nicely!” he explained with the masculine bravado that he always tried to use when discussing his conquests.

“Really?” Vern asked, chuckling a little to himself. “We heard that he stuffed you full of cupcakes and then fucked you while you oinked like a little pig for him.”

At once, the guys all erupted into laughs; the ones closest to Dan slapping him on his back.

Dan hated the way the guys all talked in here. No intimate moment was a secret. “Well, it wasn’t quite like that,” he tried. “There was a lot of build up and stuff…” he fumbled, trying to salvage his reputation with the boys.

Sat next to him, Jim patted Dan’s belly, which looked and felt bigger than Dan had ever known it. Three times last week he had been horny and invited Robbie around for more fun. “Oh, we heard all about the build-up too,” Jim grinned. “Cakes, chips, ice cream…”

Once again, a roar of chuckles sounded around the table. “Relax!” Vern finally declared as Dan could feel his cheeks flushing red. “We’re all kinky as fuck when it comes to food and sex. We’re just glad we don’t have to hide it from you anymore.”

“I can’t even come unless my gut is packed tight like a drum, full of food,” Jim immediately jumped in, nodding knowingly. 

“My ex used to wake me up at 3am every morning to get me to drink a calorie shake and blow me off,” Paul agreed.

“And as for Sam…” Vern chuckled, looking around at the group of guys. “Well, let’s just say, he’s a very good little eater when he’s horny!”

Dan thought back to the younger guy he had met on the cruise. Sam never came out with them on Fridays as he was always working, but Dan remembered how intrigued he had been with the guy’s relationship with the other men. 

“You should come over to my place next Wednesday,” Vern announced. “You can see how little Sammy is doing now,” he grinned excitedly at the others.

His curiosity piqued, Dan nodded, pleased that he would be getting the opportunity to at least catch up with Sam again.

There was a manly cheer as Dan stepped over the threshold of Vern’s penthouse apartment that next Wednesday. Vern’s shirt was missing and as Dan stepped around the corner into the living space, he could see that none of the other guys were wearing one either. Chubby, blubbery flesh was everywhere as the guys lounged all over the two large sofas. Vern grabbed a plush chair from the dining table and Dan sat, slightly detached from the group, but still very much a part of it. 

“What pizzas do you want?” Jim asked, throwing over a large tablet screen for Dan. Already the amount of pizzas the guys had added was astronomical, and with their fat bellies out, it was obvious that this was going to be quite the feast.

“No shirts allowed on a Wednesday night,” Roger called across the room. “Those are Vern’s rules.”

Dan looked up at Vern who nodded in agreement. He huffed slightly but felt a strange sense of excitement. There was a smell of lust and anticipation in the air that Dan felt strangely aroused by. He pulled off his shirt, allowing his small paunch out, rubbing it a little self consciously as the guys all cheered in approval. He didn’t quite know what to do with his arms. How could he own his look when he was so new at this and so much smaller than everyone else?

“Do you remember those first thirty pounds, Vern?” Jim asked, gazing with an odd nostalgia at Dan’s small pot belly.

“Barely!” Vern chuckled back, slapping his monstrous tank of a stomach. “I quickly moved on to bigger and better things!”

The intercom sounded into life and Dan heard the distinct tones of Sam asking to be let into the building. He sat up a little, pleased that he would get to see his buddy again. The pair of them had formed a nice friendship during the cruise, but had not seen each other since. 

Seeing Sam turned out to be the biggest shock of the night so far. The guy was greeted at the door by Vern. But as the big man stepped aside, Dan got a full view of what had become of the chubby boy Dan had met a few months ago. His shirt was far too small for him, which probably made Sam look even bigger than he was. It was obvious what Sam had been doing since Dan had last seen him. The guy had been eating hard. A large, stout belly sat under his chest, pushed out now into a jiggly looking sack. His love handles had exploded above his hips and his chest had puffed up with blubbery looking nipples. Even Sam’s face was harder to recognise now he had a full ring of fat under his chin.

Dan stood up, his mouth open in shock. But as the freshly fattened guy spotted him and walked over, it was Sam who chuckled in surprise. “What the hell is this?” he laughed, outstretching his finger and prodding Dan in his little paunch. He then reached his arms around Dan and gave him a quick hug in greeting. Stunned into silence, Dan could only feel the mass of Sam’s large gut pressing into him. “The guys told me you’ve been putting on a few pounds recently. It suits you!” he smiled, patting Dan’s middle in approval. 

“You can talk!” Dan finally managed to say, staring now at the huge gut on his friend.

Sam smiled proudly and lifted off his shirt. His stomach jiggled as the material picked up his gut and then slid off it. Dan could hardly believe his eyes. Sam looked even fatter without that tight shirt on. “I’m getting there,” Sam nodded, fingering his deep belly button. “But I still have a long way to go. I’m excited you’re here though. I was wondering how long it would be until you got an invite to one of my stuffings.”

“Stuffings?” Dan mumbled. He was confused by the word, but Sam had already moved on to greet the other guys, who all commented excitedly on the guy’s gut and patted his surprisingly broad and plump butt.

The conversation moved on and it was only when the pizzas arrived that anyone moved again. Several were placed down on Vern’s enormous coffee table and all of the guys reached forwards and began gorging greedily. Dan had forgotten the seriousness of how the fat guys ate. They were stacking the pizzas and nibbling quickly, taking massive bites. The conversation stalled, as each one ate as if they were worried the supplies would dwindle before they could eat enough of it all. Greasy hands reached over each other, patting and rubbing the bellies and Dan could even see Jim getting a hard-on, right there in Vern’s lounge. But, sitting in the chair opposite, Dan could see Sam working just as hard as any of them. He was guzzling and chomping on the pizzas as if this was the main event of his week. Sodas and beers were being slurped. It wasn’t long until a chorus of burps began erupting throughout; pride seeming to derive from the biggest and loudest of them. 

Dan stacked his pizzas too, feeling a strange expectation for him to conform. He could feel his stomach tightening, yet he continued to eat, noticing that no one else had given up yet.

“I managed twelve,” Jim finally announced, looking exhausted and stuffed.

“Fourteen!” Vern grinned with a look of superiority.

Dan listed as the other men reeled off numbers. It took him a few moments before he realised that they’d all been competitively counting their slices. They looked at him in turn, making Dan stutter out a number he had rounded up so as not to look silly in front of them all. “I did ten,” he lied. The number was the lowest so far, however, they all still nodded in approval.

Pretty soon, Sam was the only one still eating. Vern stood up, placing a fatherly hand on the back of the guy’s neck, watching keenly as Sam continued to push the pizza in. “That’s it. Good boy. Keep up this pace,” he said encouragingly.

All eyes were on Sam. Vern’s hand smoothly rubbed the distended gut and Sam’s eyes smiled in gratitude. 

“What’s that?” Dan asked as Jim carried in a funnel, alongside a large quantity of thick brown liquid in an enormous measuring jug.

“Vern’s special recipe,” Roger replied, grabbing a handful of his own belly fat and jiggling it as if in explanation.

Sam seemed to spot the funnel coming towards him and he gently placed his head back on the cushion on the chair. He parted his lips and left his mouth open, however Vern’s hand still grabbed his cheeks, pushing his fingers against them so that Sam’s mouth would not be able to close. Jim slotted the funnel straight into the open-mouthed boy and held the jug aloft. Then, without a word said, he began pouring.

The mixture was even thicker than Dan had guessed. It slopped into the funnel and slid down the sides. As soon as it reached Sam’s tongue, he began swallowing. Dan could hear the great effortful gulps as the funnel filled more and more. Sam’s hands fell onto his belly, as if he could feel it inflating with every swallow he made, yet Dan could see that the guy’s eyes were locked with Vern’s the entire time.

Sam had made a serious dent in the amount of thick liquid in the jug and as he finally finished the last of it left in his funnel, he moaned softly as it was pulled out of his mouth. A noisy, entirely involuntary burp roared from his throat making everyone, Dan included, chuckle with amusement. He’d worked out what this was about. Sam clearly wanted that belly he had grown and the other guys were all in on supporting him with that goal.

The other guys immediately began clearing the coffee table of pizza boxes and Sam stood up, looking a little unsteady on his feet and still burping up the gas from his stomach. No one batted an eyelid as he slipped down his shorts and underwear, stepping out of them entirely. The guy’s dick wasn’t all that big, but it was clearly as hard as concrete. Vern gave his chubby butt a little pat and then Sam’s knee bent as he actually climbed onto the coffee table. On all fours, he moved up until his fat body was on display like cattle before them all. If his head had not been lowered, he would have been looking straight at Dan. 

A large tray of cream-filled doughnuts were carried in and Roger immediately grabbed one, sitting forwards so that he could push it slowly into Sam’s mouth. Now that Sam’s head was up, his eyes met with Dan’s and, for the first time, Dan could see the lust within. He let Roger’s fingers press the doughnut in and he swallowed it with absolute obedience. 

No one seemed to be in the least bit surprised at the events unfolding and none of the men were making an effort to explain it to Dan; being far too caught up in the spectacle themselves. Vern, who had briefly disappeared from the room, returned, carrying a large dildo in his hand. He rubbed oil into it, standing at the opposite end of the table, where Sam’s butt cheeks were splayed for him. Without much effort to ease him in, Vern pressed the lubricated toy straight into Sam’s butt, making the man sigh with pleasure, even as the other men stepped up to take a turn pressing doughnuts into him. Pretty soon afterwards, Roger was oiling up his hand, reaching it under Sam’s body and finding its way to the guy’s hardness. A deep moan sounded from Sam’s throat and Dan watched as the man’s eyes rolled up into his head.

“Easy, Roger. Not too fast,” Vern instructed.

“I know what I’m doing,” Roger chuckled, using his other hand to grab Sam’s hanging belly fat and jiggle it. The blubber rippled all over the guy’s body, giving Dan the chance to see just how much pure lard had been packed onto Sam’s form over the last few months. He watched calmly, wondering how he would have reacted had he been invited along to something like this a couple of years ago. These days, he couldn’t judge. He’d eaten and gorged himself with Robbie in a manner not too wildly dissimilar. He’d enjoyed letting Robbie feed him and getting off on taking control, just like Sam was now. Maybe that was why Dan’s dick was leaking just like everyone else’s.

“Your turn,” one of the guys whispered to Dan, passing him a doughnut to feed Sam.

Dan fumbled for a second, having not expected to be invited to participate like this. Sam’s eyes looked up at him, waiting. Dan slid off the chair, onto his knees in front of Sam. He thought about his experiences with Robbie recently and how much that horny bastard would probably get off on doing something like this. And so, Dan pushed that doughnut in, just as everyone else had done. Roger seemed to speed up his pleasuring of Sam at that very moment, so that as Dan’s fingers pressed the doughnut into the greedy open mouth, Sam was writhing and swallowing with pleasure. Without even thinking about it, Dan grabbed another, pressing his whole doughnut-filled hand over Sam’s mouth, stifling the moans of pleasure as Sam came, looking straight into his eyes.

“I told you to take it easy!” Vern grumbled at Roger. “He hasn’t even finished my gainer shake mix yet!”

Roger didn’t reply. He simply nodded in the direction of Dan’s crotch, where his hardness was pulsing furiously against the material of the pants. “I just figured the newbie needed a win tonight,” he chuckled. “I’m guessing that you enjoyed that, Dan?” he asked, sounding pleased with himself.

Dan could sense all eyes on him. The entire focus of every one of them shifted. He had never felt so exposed in his. Yet, it was all so erotic.

“Take your pants off,” Vern ordered, pulling the dildo out of Sam’s butt so that he could get up off the table. “We can’t send you home with that boner ready to explode like that. Paul, go rinse out the funnel.”

Dan sat up, eyes wide with realisation that Vern was absolutely serious. The water was running in the kitchen as Paul set to work, cleaning up the funnel for HIM! “Maybe another time,” he stuttered, feeling his heart racing.

“Nonsense!” Vern spat dismissively. “Get your pants off.”

Dan did as he was told, feeling strangely submissive as his dick bounced out and showed itself to all of the guys at once. These people were his friends and he wasn’t massively attracted to any of them; yet, the situation he found himself in was one of the most erotic he had ever known.

Roger used a towel to wipe off his hand and the coffee table. But then he was oiling it up once more; this time for Dan. All of a sudden, the large looming figures of both Vern and Roger seemed to surround him. He looked over at a completely spent Sam, flopping into the armchair; the remains of the last doughnut still smashed over his mouth. If that was what they had done to him, what on earth was he in for?

“Robbie would be squirting all over himself if he was here to watch this!” Vern chuckled to the other guys.

“Wait! I’m really not sure about this!” Dan tried. “Doing this stuff with Robbie is one thing, but…you guys are my friends.”

Vern laughed and placed his hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Trust me, Fatso,” he teased. “For the next ten minutes, I’m not your friend. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. You’re just going to drink a little calorie shake and bloat a little. Roger here is going to work his magic hands on you and you’re going to have an awesome time.”

“Ready to give it a go?” asked Roger; his oiled up hand positioned, ready to start.

Dan slowly nodded. What did he have to lose?

Immediately, Dan’s whole body shook as Roger’s hand started stroking his shaft. His eyes widened and he made an involuntary sound of complete shock and surprise at how immediately stimulating the fondling was. Throughout the room, men laughed watching the reaction. They clearly all knew how skilled the guy was in this area and were simply waiting for Dan to feel what they had all experienced as well.

“You like that, huh?” Vern called from above. He licked the end of his thumbs and leant over so that he could place them both on Dan’s nipples, rubbing against them gently.

Dan moaned again. He couldn’t get over how sensitive his nipples actually felt. No one had ever played with them like this before. He felt Roger’s free hand clamp over the roll of belly fat he had amassed over the past few months, looking up at Vern like he wanted to laugh. It made Dan feel exactly the same way Robbie managed to make him feel: like he wanted to submit, to give in to everything those around him wanted.

“Are you a good little piggy?” Vern asked him, using that same teasing voice that Dan had heard him use with Sam.

Dan nodded, trying to speak but finding his brain was almost too foggy to stitch any words together. It was then that he felt Vern’s finger lifting his chin up; his other hand pushing down on his forehead. Already his head was being positioned, resting back entirely on the back of the chair. He felt Vern’s fingers pinch his cheeks, opening the jaws. Dan’s heart was beating fast. He looked up at the ceiling before seeing Jim coming in to view, carrying the funnel from earlier. Dan watched the spout as it lowered and fell perfectly into his mouth, hitting his tongue and resting between his teeth.

“You’ve just got to swallow it, buddy,” Dan heard Jim’s voice state. He also felt a new hand rubbing his bloated stomach, before giving it a gentle couple of pats and then retreating. 

Just then, Dan felt the heavy weight of the thick liquid hitting the funnel. It oozed down and didn’t hit his tongue for a good couple of seconds, but once it did, Dan could feel it filling his mouth quickly. It was sweet; so sweet and gooey and creamy. Dan swallowed, almost in a panic, racing to keep up before he became overwhelmed. He felt Vern’s hand tenderly stroking his hair as if to calm him, whispering softly. “Atta boy. Keep going…”

The funnel seemed to go on forever. Dan could hear Vern trying to coordinate Roger down below, telling him to slow down, take longer and deeper strokes, or speed up and focus on the head. They’d clearly practised this many times, for their technique was faultless. 

“Robbie is going to be so pleased,” Vern called out to the group. “Look at his little piggy now!” he laughed, as Dan felt a large hand stroking his belly.

Dan swallowed, swallowed, swallowed. He could feel how tight his stomach was getting but concentrated only on the blissful feeling of the funnel getting lighter and lighter above him. Vern lifted it out of his mouth, allowing the last drops to dribble over his face. Dan lifted his head and looked down at his body. What had they done to him? His stomach had never looked so huge in his life. Roger was there, smiling up at him as he sped up his stroking, going in for the kill. Dan went to moan with pleasure from it all when the gas from his stomach rose up, loud and long, seemingly without end. That was when he came, right there at the start of that monstrous burp, his hands exploring the tight, bloated stretch of his gut. He felt the jets of ejaculation as they flew up onto his shoulders and down onto his new belly. Still Vern’s hand stroked his hair soothingly; reassuring him that this was all okay.

Accepting a towel to clean himself off, Dan had expected to feel shy afterwards, but the guys had already moved on. A couple of the other men had been playing with themselves whilst watching Dan taking the funnel and they came not long afterwards as well, taking the focus away from him. All Dan could do was gaze down at that marvellously round belly on himself. He felt the size, rubbing the sides and over the top of it. He imagined how much the chasers would love him if his belly was always this big; how turned on it would make Robbie. He knew then that he needed to see how far he could go with this, reaching out and slyly taking one of the doughnuts as one of the other guys came, rubbing his own enormous gut.

The pinch of Dan’s clothes had become a frustrating and yet highly erotic sensation. The week that followed was filled with more mixed emotions than Dan could ever have anticipated. He turned to look at his thicker middle in the bathroom mirror at work; conjuring feelings of revulsion and delight at what he was becoming. He twisted more, getting a look at his butt. His pants felt so tight around his hips, his glutes puffy and round. Robbie had told him how much he loved to fuck a big, doughy ass on a guy; those words now singing through Dan’s brain as he felt himself getting hard. He lifted his cell phone from his pocket and snapped a picture of his reflection in the mirror. Robbie was bound to come over tonight if Dan played his cards right: ate the right things for lunch, promised to be a good little piggy for him. ‘How’re you liking this fat ass?’ he typed as he attached the picture into Robbie’s message; breathless with anticipation, waiting for the inevitable, horny response that would follow.

Dan felt pride as he took off his shirt at the next Wednesday night gathering. Vern had been working away for the last couple of weeks and the transformation of Dan’s little paunch in that time had been strangely remarkable. He’d seen Robbie almost every night and was riding a vast, unimaginably erotic wave of pleasure in giving into the kinky guy’s demands. Everyone commented on how bloated he was looking. They patted, rubbed and offered their approval, expecting the same appreciation when their shirts came off too.

“Where’s Sam?” Dan asked as the pizzas arrived and there was still no sign.

All of the guys looked guiltily at each other. “He can’t make it. He’s working,” Jim simply replied.

“Oh,” Dan mumbled. “I thought the purpose of these nights was to…” He looked around, realising that the guys had sat him in the same chair they’d placed Sam last time.

Vern was walking back to the couch with a bottle of beer and placed a large, calming hand on Dan’s shoulder as he went behind his chair. “Don’t you worry about Sam,” he stated soothingly. “He knows he’s got a good stand-in,” the big man chuckled to the other boys.

Dan’s heart was racing as he ate, feeling the eyes of all the men drifting back to him, seeing how much he was eating. He thought of how he would recount the tale of tonight back to Robbie and make the guy rock hard; ready to fuck him in that rough, dominating manner that Dan simply couldn’t get enough of.

After a while eating, Vern was back behind Dan again, this time rubbing oil all over his torso; his hands sliding over the new softness Dan had acquired. “We’ve got to grease up the pig!” Vern joked to the other guys. When Roger appeared at his side, Dan knew they were ready to start the funnel again. He stood, slid down his pants and then sat down again, spreading his thighs a lot more, like a pro. He was still nervous, lifting his head to the ceiling and waiting for the funnel to be placed into his mouth, but this time the butterflies in his stomach were undoubtedly those of excitement. 

“The mix is slightly different to the one you had last time,” Vern explained as he was handed the jug. “You’re at a different stage to Sam and this mix has never failed me for guys still gaining their first sixty pounds. It fucks the metabolism right up!” he chuckled as he started pouring. 

Yet again, Dan was swallowing. This recipe wasn’t as thick, but it filled his mouth faster and he had to gulp it down at a very brisk pace in order to stop it from overflowing from where Vern was still mercilessly pouring; Jim steadying the funnel in his mouth. He was allowed a short break where he burped up the gas he had accidentally swallowed with it. Roger coaxed him on, massaging his dick to perfection, but he could tell, even as the last drops fell into his mouth, that he wouldn’t be allowed to climax yet, even with his gut feeling ready to burst. The sensation was even more intense than it had been last time. He grumbled, holding his aching gut and trying to burp up more gas in the hope of finding relief. He couldn’t take anything more tonight.

“Hi, Robbie,” Vern chirped, talking to the screen of his cell phone. “We’ve got your little piggy here, telling us he’s too full.”

Dan looked up, shocked and amazed to see Robbie’s face staring at him from Vern’s cell phone. Immediately, his heart fluttered and his dick pulsed.

“Oh, dear!” Robbie called out in his most deliciously dominant voice. “What’s he had so far?”

Vern took the cell phone back up to his face. “Eleven slices of pizza and about…” he considered for a moment, trying to calculate in his head, “...maybe two thousand six hundred calories in gainer shake. Your piggy is feeling pretty bloated!” he chuckled wickedly.

“Let me talk to him,” Robbie demanded.

At once, the cell phone was held up in front of Dan’s face. He sat up, feeling like he might be in trouble, but was excited to hear how kinky Robbie might get with him.

“Climb up on that coffee table,” Robbie ordered.”Spread your cheeks. I’m going to fuck you whilst you eat for me.”

There was a gentle wave of chuckles around the room and Dan saw one of them heading off to get the dildo he’d seen Sam take last time. Boxes of pizza were cleared from the table and Roger tapped the surface of the wood. “Come on up, little piggy!” he teased. The guys on the other side placed their hands down on the table, helping to balance it whilst Dan, unbelievably, found himself climbing on. Vern took the cell phone camera on a tour of the whole thing. “Robbie told you to spread those cheeks properly,” the fat man declared, tapping Dan’s wider butt until he wriggled his knees further apart.

Dan felt cool lube getting massaged by chubby hands into his hole; the cell phone capturing it all. He braced himself for the penetration, feeling more exposed than even last time.

“Just relax,” Roger whispered, already taking his hand back to stroke Dan’s dick. Only when he moaned did they insert, That was when the pleasure seemed to turn up more than Dan had ever expected. Vern’s cell phone was brought to his face and there was Robbie, staring at him victoriously. It really was like being fucked by him.

“Feed him!” Robbie called out to the room. 

Right away, Dan felt a doughnut getting pressed into his mouth by Paul. He opened his jaws obediently, chewing and swallowing as fast as he could; staring into the eyes of Robbie, who had clearly started to touch himself as he watched from across the city. Several times Dan thought he was going to come, but he was always brought back. Another doughnut, another pizza slice, another chug of soda to wash it all down. Only when the stretch became almost agonisingly tight, did he feel the powerful release, making him moan so loudly it was as if all awareness of his surroundings had abandoned him entirely.

“I did warn you about Robbie,” Vern chuckled as he cancelled the call. He stroked the back of Dan’s head as he still presented himself on all fours on his coffee table, completely diminished. “Pretty soon, you’re going to be just as fat as the rest of us…”

It was a few months later, when Vern’s attention was caught on a new guy at the bar. He wasn’t following the conversation at all well, but seemed deep in thought. “Not your usual type,” Dan commented, following Vern’s gaze over to the guy, looking like he was in his mid thirties and completely lost in this bar. He was handsome in his own way, but his flat stomach was never going to get him any attention in here.

“I’ve got a feeling about that one,” Vern grinned.

“Really?” the guys all asked, looking over at the loner at the bar. 

“Am I ever wrong?” Vern smiled, looking more certain than ever. “I know a potential pig when I see one!” He wrapped his arm over Dan’s shoulders and pushed his hand into the rounded gut that had blossomed on the guy he had introduced himself to just over a year and a half ago. The fat Dan had gained in that time had completely transformed him. He sat, nursing a beer on the new shelf of his belly, with love handles that touched both Vern’s and Roger’s to either side of him: over one hundred pounds of pure lard added in the last year alone; his dick and feeder boyfriend hungry for more. He could have told Vern to leave the guy; to spare him from all of this: the mind games, the subtle training and manipulation that they had worked out so perfectly between them. Instead, his dick throbbed as he watched Vern make his first move, inviting the guy to sit with them. 

It was amazing how the small talk was almost exactly the same as it had been that first time Dan sat with the guys. They were charming, they were funny and friendly. They were already playing their games.

An hour later, Roger went up to get a beer and Dan’s sexy boyfriend slid in, having just arrived that night. Dan lifted his big arm up over the guy’s slender shoulders and allowed the feeder’s hand to slide across the tank of belly he had grown. They kissed in that drunkenly erotic way that always happened after midnight; hands roaming everywhere. When Dan came out of it, he saw the new guy looking on, perplexed. Although he didn’t say anything, Dan could tell exactly what the newbie was thinking in his head; wondering how such a lardass like him could get himself such a stunningly hot boyfriend.

“Let’s go back to your place,” Dan’s boyfriend insisted, slyly pinching his love handle from behind.

“Right, guys…” Dan called to the table, standing as best he could and manoeuvring his large butt out to follow his kinky feeder to a cab. “I’ll catch you all on Wednesday.” He reached over and shook hands with the new guy, leaving him in Vern’s capable hands; knowing with absolute certainty that in a few months time, they’d all have a brand new piggy to play with. Then, placing his hand on the tiny butt of his boyfriend, he left them all; feeling that familiar hunger in his stomach that he always got when he was horny. He was sure he would have to eat a lot of food before he was allowed to climax later, but he was absolutely ready for it. And always would be.

[atomicchopshopbread]

Rafe Becoming Obsessed With a High End Escort Head-canons

Inspired by the time I sent this detailed ask to @softcoreparadise about Rafe and a high end prostitute 🤣

Gif by @euphoriarph

WARNING: THIS IS DARK! MATERIAL! THESE HEADCANONS CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES INCLUDING NON-CON, ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND PROSTITUTION (protect sex workers.) PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS BOTHERS YOU. You are responsible for the media you consume.

Rafe has never been good at relationships.

He’s too controlling and very particular about what he wants.

So it’s honestly just easier when he turns his “romantic” life into something transactional.

The expensive women the clandestine agency sends can be anything he wants them to be and are willing to say and do whatever he wants them to. And at the end of the night, he doesn’t have to worry about not being “emotionally stable” enough for them.

He only goes through the escort service a couple times before he meets you.

He hires you to be his date to a business cocktail party and from the moment he sees you he believes your worth every penny of the exorbitant rate you’re charging.

He thinks you’re a fucking smoke show and you ooze class in a way that makes him wonder if your normal clients are politicians and the like. You certainly look the part.

You can’t help but be happily surprised by his boyish good looks and lean frame. You’ve certainly had way worse.

He doesn’t bother to hide the way his eyes slide over you, approving every inch of your figure. After all, he paid for it?

He does try to be what he considers a gentleman during your time together. He talks to you more than he had the other women and he’s genuinely entertained by your presence. You seem worldly and smart and he’s grinning at you a lot throughout your conversations.

You notice the way he talks to the waiter and you’re reminded that he’s a rich asshole like all the rest. He orders you wine even though you tell him water is fine, a furrow on his brow to match the happy twist of his mouth.

“Nah, nah, c’mon babe, drink with me.”

And for some reason you do and maybe it has to do with the heat from his palm trailing up your thigh making you lose a bit of control of your senses.

He takes you back to the hotel and his tongue is in your mouth before the elevator leaves the lobby. One hand on your ass and one in your hair.

He surprises you by eating you out like he’s not the one paying for pleasure.

The words “beautiful” and “perfect” fall off his lips when he’s inside you but you pay it no mind. It’s not that unusual. Some guys are just like that. You’ve even had guys pay you for a night of conversation.

The sex is hot and intense and he loves the way you take it, letting him bend you and position you however he wants, never telling him to slow down or let up.

Afterwards he pulls you down on his chest and you talk some more while you wait for room service.

It’s not the last time you hear from rafe. He becomes a regular and you don’t really mind it. He pays plenty and he fucks you like he’s trying to prove something.

He starts introducing you to his business associates as his girlfriend. Again, this isn’t too uncommon so you don’t let it bother you. As long as he knows the true nature of your relationship everything is fine.

He has your cell number now so he doesn’t have to go through the agency and he pays you personally. He texts and calls you regularly and when he wants to meet up you’ve started going to his place. The only thing that distinguishes that he’s a client is that he still pays you before every meet up.

You think maybe he likes to fantasize the two of you are in a relationship so you let him. You know he’s deep into the finance world so he probably doesn’t have the time or energy to put towards a real girlfriend. You don’t mind, as long as he keeps sending the money to your venmo.

It all goes south one night when he sees you at a club on the arm of a guy atleast 20 years older than you or himself. You’re laughing and smiling like you’re having the time of your life, your hand resting on the older man’s chest as he shows you off to his associates. Rafe grits his teeth and feels sick to his stomach.

It gets worse when your company and his company mingle together, mutual business aquantainces among both parties bringing them together.

You finally notice Rafe and have the decency to look ashamed for a moment.

But you still stay glued to your client’s side, smiling brightly at his words as you try to ignore Rafe’s burning stare.

Rafe has ground his jaw until his head aches and he doesn’t even try to hide the way he looks at you in disgust.

When the night is over your client leads you out to his expensive car and you can’t help but glance back at Rafe. He looks like he wants to tear you apart with his eyes.

Surprisingly you don’t hear from Rafe for two days, not even a call or text. You almost want to be the first to contact him for once but you almost laugh at the ludicrousness of that thought. Why the fuck would you do that?

A knock on your door wakes you up in the middle of the night and you startle before rushing to the door. The peephole is blocked so, dumbly and sleepily, you crack open your door, leaving the chain in place.

As soon as you meet his crazed bloodshot eyes you try to slam the door in a panic but he’s already shoved his foot in the open space. Two harsh shoves from his shoulder and the chain snaps pitifully.

You run to grab your phone from the bedroom but his arms are already wrapping around your robed waist and he’s shushing you in your ear.

“Babe, babe. It’s just me,” he drawls. He laughs meanly at your struggle before turning you around. “What? Not happy to see me?”

“Why the fuck are you here Rafe!?”

Rafe shouldn’t even know where you live.

He pushes you backwards to your dining room table, taking you by your throat as he makes your back bend flush against it.

“Ya know, I tried to treat you nice. More than you fucking deserved.” He fumbles with his belt buckle as he holds you down and you quit slapping at him when he gives your throat a squeeze that makes you choke and gasp. You know you’ll probably just get hurt more if you try to fight the inevitable.

“I thought you were different, just maybe a girl that had had to do some things to survive. Maybe you just needed some help. And I was more than willing to help you.”

He swirls his fingers over your clit, like it will be even more humiliating for you if you’re turned on after he forces his way into your house. Like it will prove him right.

“But I think you fucking enjoy it.” He shoves into you punishingly and even wet it makes you gasp.

He leans down and bites at your neck, breathing into your ear.

“Whore.”

He slaps your tits as they bounce and pulls your face back by your hair when you turn away.

“Say it.”

You bite your lip as he pounds into you, forcing a moan to rise in your throat.

He holds your jaw and you feel flecks of saliva as he spits directly in your face, cackling as your eyes roll back in your head.

“Say it, slut.”

“I’m a whore,” you whine and then your orgasm hits and you can barely feel the way he still kisses you tenderly when he reaches his own peak.

In the morning when he leaves, he tosses a wad of cash over your worn out body twisted in the sheets.

It’s the most you’ve ever made in one night.

[superhero--imagines]

Etsy Store Here l Ko-Fi l Commission Info

Part 2 Here!/ Part 3 Here! / Playlist Here!

* Sorry guys but this mans been living in my head rent free

* So the first time you see Satoru it’s with those black specs he likes to wear and you get a glance at those GORGEOUS eyes

* He meets your eyes for a second before looking away, it’s the briefest of interactions

* But your heart is racing and you can feel the familiar heat of attraction starting to lap at your face

* ‘He looks just like a prince’ you think

* You find out pretty fast the ‘prince’ similarities stop at appearance

* “Ah it’s not my fault you’re so weak~” You hear him say with the princely smile as he teases Utahime

* It looks like he’s held something so high she can’t reach it

* “Try your best, if you drink plenty of milk I’m sure you’ll be tall enough one day~” he says before laughing with that same princely face

* “You shouldn’t pick on those that are weaker than you” Geto intervenes, somehow making the entire situation worse

* You watch as Gojo laughs

* You’re starting to think he might be the real curse you need to exorcise

* You continue watching him as Utahime tries to kick him in the crotch

* “You silly girl, did you forget there’s an infinity between us?” Cue Gojo’s “A-hahahahaha” laugh

* Yeah, he’s definitely a demon

* You keep your distance, Gojo’s beautiful and all, but you’re not dumb, you’ve heard about the Satoru clan.

* “Hey Geto-Kun, who do you think would win in a fight me or a lion?”

* Besides that guy is way too reckless, you’d rather not get all mixed up in that if you can help it

* You watch as Satoru takes his shirt off, his well defined chest glistening

* Still, you’re grateful for the show

* Little do you know the famous Gojo Satoru has taken note of you as well

* Naturally given his ability he notices everyone, but he especially takes note of you

* It’s not because you stand out, quite the opposite

* You blend into the background easily, supporting others when needed

* But not to the degree where you unable to defend yourself, or you’re sacrificing your own life for someone else

* He grins

* Looks like he found something interesting

* You’re at the vending machine eyes racking over the drink selection

* But there’s another thirst quenching sight right next to you, their hand resting on the vending machine, that princely smile aimed right at you-

* “So what do you say?” Satoru asks, and you start to wonder if that princely smile seems just a bit wolfish “Do you want to be my lover?”

* You’re kind of annoyed

* What an impetuous question, you can count on one hand how many times you’ve spoken to each other, and you only need both hands to count the words said in each of those encounters

* “No”

* You turn your attention back to your drink choices, it’s pleasant weather so you don’t want anything hot.

* Anything carbonated is out of the-

* Gojo moves closer, peering into your face with that grin

* Ugh does he have to stand so close

* “Why ‘no’? I know you think I’m attractive”

* “I also think you’re a womanizer with a god complex”

* And really why shouldn’t he be?

* He’s probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your life, not to add the sheer power he contains in that body of his

* But just as he has the right to be a womanizer with a god complex, you have the right not to take part in that narrative

* He backs away, leaning back against the wall

* So he’s not going to deny it

* Well, at least he’s somewhat self aware

* Those clear blue eyes catch yours again, and you have to fight against every human instinct from showing any human reaction

* You turn back to the vending machine making your selection when a smile lilts onto his mouth

* “Friends then”

* “Just colleagues” you reply, grabbing your drink

* But as you walk by you push a canned beverage into his chest.

* It’s a can of green tea

* It’s his favorite drink

* He looks to you seeing a bottle glinting in your hand

* So you didn’t sacrifice your own thirst, but you also didn’t ignore his needs

* He feels that same wolffish grin curl onto his mouth

* “What an entertaining person”

* After that if you’re anywhere within a 50 feet radius of him he’ll go out of his way to get your attention

* “Oh wow, looking especially radiant this morning (Y/N/N)” he’ll say with a playful seductive wink

* When you don’t respond he tries annoying you instead

* “Ah you can’t reach that? Here let me-” and then he’ll proceed to hold it even further out of your reach

* He’s expecting you to jump up and down, or at least give some sort of response but you just walk away

* Well that wasn’t what he expected

* He feels that grin spread across his face again

* Very interesting

* His attraction to you is pretty shallow

* He’s interested you because you’re entertaining

* And you’re entertaining because you aren’t interested

* Which only makes him that much more interested in you

* Its a paradox

* You watch him flounder around, annoying Utahime for a giggle

* Well it doesn’t matter anyway, you know how he is, he’ll get bored soon enough and lose all interest in you

* He’s not the strongest {f*ckboy} for nothing

* You see him turn to meet your gaze, offering a boyish smile and a wink

* You make sure not to give any reaction, turning to listen to something Shoko is telling you

* You hope he can’t sense the twinge of heat you feel on your face

* You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find the attention a little flattering

* I think for the most part you’re right, Satoru is mostly playing around-

* At least at first.

* You’re just something new and fun no one knows about, and wildly entertaining since you never respond the way he thinks you will

* You’re kind, but not at the expense of yourself, and he likes that

* Besides you’ve got this quite sort of consideration for others-

* It’s not flashy, it’s so subtle most people hardly notice

* It’s in the way you bring an extra snack for Utahime when she’s running herself ragged training

* “They were having a two for one special”

* Or the way you’ll get your teacher a plushie you saw at a shop at the station because you know he needs more

* “I just thought it was cute, but I haven’t got any room for another one”

* You’re quiet, someone who hears things and she’s things, but never says anything about them

* A wallflower

* But you’re not weak

* There’s something about those two things put together in the same person that entertains him to no end. Like a paradox or a puzzle he can’t seem to solve no matter how hard he tries

* Satoru’s had at least a hundred lovers, and a great many of them had provided him with their own brand of kindness and consideration

* But he’s never felt something as warm as when he see’s a lunch box in his dorm after he hobbles back from a mission that lasted a little longer than expected

* He peers at the note attached, it’s not even signed but he knows it’s from you

* “I know you think you’re god or whatever, but even gods have to eat”

* He doesn’t know why, but he’s overcome with the urge to cry

* He gulps hard- it’s not like this a lunch you made by hand or anything, it’s just something from the convenience store

* And it’s not like this note is particularly affectionate or special either, he’s gotten entire love letters from his previous lovers

* So he’s not sure why he saves your note, placing it behind a picture frame where only he’ll know it is , or why he thinks that convenience store lunchbox is the most delicious thing he’s ever had

* Even though he knows he cares about you, and that he’s grown quite fond of you -

* I don’t think it clicks for him

* And part of that is because well, he’s Gojo Satoru

* He collects lovers like some people collect photographs or memories

* They serve their purpose, and he lets himself be entertained by pretending all the feelings are real, and then he moves on to the next one

* It’s just what he’s used to

* And this whole paradox you two have going on could go on for a few years until something finally shifts

* He went a little too far with one his half-flirting-half-tormenting pranks

* And for the first time you give him a reaction, it’s only for a second, but annoyance and anger mar you face

* And then just like that, it’s gone and you turn and walk off in the other direction

* Sh*t.

* He went too far didn’t he?

* It should be fine right? You’re not too mad at him right? You’ll get over it-

* Right?

* But for the next few days you don’t speak to him, and you don’t make eye contact

* It bothers him more than it should

* Normally he would be annoyed that his toy would have the gall to blatantly ignore him like this-

* But this is different than that.

* He’s-

* He’s feeling regret

* He shouldn’t have acted that way to you, maybe if he had just done something differently, or said something differently-

* It’s not like the way things were between you two was ideal or anything,

* But at least then you would at least speak to him

* ... and every once in while he would get to see you smile

* It’s never at him, it’s mostly when you’re with Shoko or Utahime

* Occasionally when you’re with Nanami or Geto, who you’ve been talking to more recently

* He’s pretty sure you three are talking about him, just one day away from forming a “down with Gojo Satoru” club

* Still that smile when you laugh-

* The way you look so carefree and young and so full of life is worth all the slander in the world to him

* He needs to see that smile, to know something that wholesome and kind exists somewhere in this cruel world

* Satoru’s thinking about how to go about apologizing to you

* He’s caught between buying you a Lamborghini or buying you a special grade tool when he ends up running into you

* “Ah, could you help me with something?”

* He would quite literally give you the clothes on his back right now if you asked

* You stand up on a a chair holding a glass of water

* “Apparently this is supposed to help with concentration or something” You say pressing the glass full of water to the ceiling

* “Can you hold this broom?” You ask and Satoru nods, holding the broom handle steady as you make sure it’s pushed against the glass holding it steady

* You nod approvingly down at him

* The rest happens pretty fast, you’re off the chair, carrying it away

* “The broom is actually a special grade tool, so cursed energy won’t work on it”

* You grin

* “Have fun figuring how to get out of that Baka Prince!” You say with a laugh

* And Satoru is dumbfounded

* But not because you just pranked him into a holding up a glass of water with a broom

* But because as you were rushing away, you showed him your teasing grin

* It’s the first time you smiled at him

* And as he looks up at the glass of water, a smile slowly spreads across his face

* It’s not the wolffish smile he usually has when he’s around you, or the princely smile he uses when he’s trying to get something

* It’s a genuine smile

* Ah, so that’s it

* He’s fallen in love with you

* If you’re not the one entertaining him, then he’s just not interested

* Ah geez

* He was so focused on trying to get you to fall in love with him that he really didn’t see this coming

* Well he’ll have to start being serious about pursuing you now-

* Though for you to pull off something like this on him tells him you’re his ideal match without a doubt

* A wallflower with a mischievous streak, he likes that.

* He scratches his head with his free hand

* “I wonder how I’m supposed to get out of this?” He muses looking up at the glass full of water

[mizunetzu]

YOURE DOPE ASS SHIT HOMIE <3333 can i get uuHHHhh mutha fuckin tanaka x femboy reader ?

HAHAHA SAY LESS I NEVER EXPECTED TO GET A TANAKA REQUEST IM-

——————

Tanaka x reader - one date wonder

⚠️ warnings - reader is referred to as a girl unintentionally, by Nishinoya in the beginning. Don’t worry, I assure you this is a Male Fic. Ta-ho.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

If there was one thing Tanaka hated, it was pretty boys.

They were so over hyped. Just because they have a handsome face, all of a sudden they’re the talk of the town. Especially if they had a skirt on and whatnot. What happened to personality?

“Oi oi Ryu!”

Tanaka didn’t notice Nishinoya shoving a phone towards his face. He continued skimming through the Miyagi volleyball weekly magazine. “If I see one more article about that prick Oikawa I’m gonna-“

“Ryu!” Nishinoya practically slapped Tanaka’s head with his phone. Tanaka yelped.

“Hell was that for?!”

Nishinoya wordlessly held up his phone uncomfortably close to Tanaka’s face.

A girl with (h/l), boyish hair and a pretty pink skirt stood tall on Nishinoya’s small phone screen. The girl had cute (h/c) hair, framing her face as she posed with her hand flexed into a peace sign.

She was totally his type.

“Apparently she goes to our school.” Noya giddily scrolled through the girls feed, careful not to accidentally like anything as to not be caught stalking her page. Tanaka exhaled.

“Dude...if I ever see her I think I’m boutta simp.”

“Riiiight?” Nishinoya held down his phone screen to let Tanaka in on the girls social media page.

———

Walking into class the next day, he ran into a horde of girls surrounding someone in the middle of the room. There seemed to be someone in the center, awkwardly chuckling and trying to say something, but it was drowned out but the vociferous squeals or questions thrown at them. Tanaka couldn’t quite make out the person’s face.

Stalking closer, trying to subtly peek from over the heads of the girls, the person’s eyes slowly panned over to him. They locked eyes. Something seemed oddly familiar about that person. He couldn’t quite place it, though.

The person’s eyes lit up and they wadded their way out of the horde and made their way to him. Upon closer inspection, the person was handsome, and wearing the boy’s gakuran. It made sense, he was being crowded around a bunch of girls gawking at his pretty face. He immediately puffed out his chest and scowled.

“Oi oi! Got a problem, pretty boy?”

“P-pre...” The person, who he now knew was a boy, flushed and shook his head. “A-anyways! Tanaka-kun, can...”

“C-Can you meet me in the school courtyard after class!”

The boy bowed suddenly, making Tanaka falter and step back. He awkwardly coughed. “Uh-sorry man, do I know you?”

Of course he knew him. He was that one popular second year in class 2-4 that every girl was throwing their panties at. He found it weird that he wanted to talk to him out of everyone.

“My name is (L/n) (Y/n)! I’m-im in class 4 but I...don’t think we‘ve ever spoken before...”

“Then why do you wanna meet up later? Do you needa tell me sumthin’? Can’t you just tell me now?”

“No!” (Y/n) puffed out his cheeks. For such a high strung popular pretty boy, he was acting pretty fumbly and flustered. “I can’t say it here-!”

“Uh...ok...see you there...?”

“Thank you!” (Y/n) smiled, walking through the eavesdropping girls and out the door.

Tanaka wondered why he looked so familiar. Oh well, it’s probably nothing.

———

Tanaka picked at his unbuttoned school uniform, standing under a cherry tree in the school courtyard. It took him every single ounce of his body not to just up and leave.

His ears perked up at the sound of rapid footsteps approaching him. There stood this boy from before, doubled over and heaving in front of him. Tanaka shoved his hands in his pockets.

“So-what’ja need, dude?” Tanaka tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. (Y/n’s) head snapped up, and he stiffly straightened upright.

“This is for you-!” He averted his gaze as he outstretched a pristine white envelope to Tanaka with both hands, a cute little heart sticker sealing the opening flap shut. Tanaka blinked once. Twice.

Did a girl ask him to give this to him? Wait, why would this pretty boy who probably thought he was some ruffian scum randomly be giving him this love letter? Was he trying to make fun of him? Did he think that he didn’t get love confessions because he wasn’t a popular pretty boy like him?

“Oi, you tryna mock me or something? Tryna make fun of me pretending a girl wanted you to give this to me?” Tanaka puffed out his chest, tilting his chin up. (Y/n) paled.

“No! No! This-“ (Y/n’s) grip on the letter tightened, crumpling the smooth paper ever so slightly at the corners. “This i-is a real letter...f-from me to you, Tanaka-kun...!”

Tanaka blinked again. Huh? Huh?!

“I like you, Tanaka-kun! I know it’s weird because you don’t know me and I’m really popular and ‘wow why is this popular dude talking to me haha and why is he so awkward’ but I really wanted to tell you and-“

(Y/n’s) phone buzzed. He stopped in his tracks, and fished his phone out of his black school pants. Tanaka, even though he knew he shouldn’t, peeked over his head a bit, trying to see what was on his phone.

Powering it on, a picture of a girl with boyish hair and pink overall-skirt popped up on screen, holding up a peace sign near her eyes. That girl looked familiar.

Oh! That was the girl that him and Noya were fawning over the other day! Now that he thought about it, the girl and (Y/n) looked very similar. Like, very, very, similar. Same hair, same eyes, same everything...

That’s when something clicked in Tanaka’s head.

(Y/n) clicked out of his Home Screen and shot a quick text to someone on his phone. He pocketed it once more.

“A-anyways, sorry Ta-“

“Are you a crossdresser?!”

“Cr...” (Y/n) sputtered. Tanaka pointed bluntly at (Y/n), eyes widened in disbelief.

“No! No I’m not! I...why can’t I wear feminine clothes without being called a crossdresser...”

(Y/n’s) shoulders slumped over. Stagnant air surrounded them as (Y/n’s) nimble fingers dropped the letter carelessly, letting it flutter towards the ground gracefully.

‘Fuck. Fuuuuck. Me and my big mouth...’

Tanaka awkwardly cleared his throat. “I-I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry, man! There’s no harm in um...wearing that-! Shit, uh. How can I make it up to you?”

(Y/n) smirked. He slowly raised his head up. He held out his pointer finger.

“You can make it up to me by going out on a date with me.”

Tanaka deadpanned. Treacherous pretty boy snake. “Wh-“

(Y/n) clasped his hands together. “Please! Just one! And we don’t even have to hold hands or anything! After that it’s done! It’s just-“

“F-fine.”

(Y/n) looked up. “Really...?”

“I mean, it wasn’t cool of me to call you a crossdresser, so if it’s just one...”

“All right!”

———

The date went by like a dream. Even if Tanaka didn’t harbor much feelings for (Y/n), he still enjoyed eating free food.

Though, he couldn’t help himself from occasionally staring at (Y/n). Not because he had something on his face of anything,

But because he was wearing a a high-waisted black plaid skirt with a belt secured snuggly on his waist, with a slightly baggy baby pink sweater that looked comfortable enough to sleep in. And to top it all off, a small kitty hair clip pinning some loose strands of hair behind his ear.

He looked exactly like he did on his social media. Tanaka gulped.

Even if he was a guy, he couldn’t help but notice how his skin seemed to glow off the fabric of his sweater, or how his skirt complimented his body perfectly.

“U-uh, (L/n)-san?” Tanaka was trying to be as respectable as he could. (Y/n) stopped eating mid bite and waiting for him to go on.

“Why do you uh, pose as a girl on social media if you don’t want people thinking your a girl..? No offense, I mean? Just wonderin’, y’know.” Tanaka took a huge bite out of his food to occupy his running mouth.

“Oh.” (Y/n) pulled up his phone and booted up his profile on social media. “It says in my bio that I’m a dude. So, it’s kind of the persons fault if they mistook me as a girl, but I don’t mind if they do...! I think I look pretty...”

Tanaka flushed. Yeah, he definitely wouldn’t deny it. He was kinda cute when he tried hiding his blushing face behind his chopsticks. But he wouldn’t say it out loud. It’s like he liked him or anything, no. Definitely not!

———

Next day at school, Tanaka felt a strange sort of emptiness in his chest. It felt hollow, like he was coming off a high and dealing with the consequences. And he had no fucking clue why.

“Dude...I feel so depressed...” Tanaka slumped over a box in the club room, sighing dramatically. Nishinoya hummed while scrolling through (Y/n’s) profile, once again.

There was a sour taste in his mouth. Tanaka glared holes into Noya’s side, until Noya finally looked up from his phone.

“Dude, why’re you glaring at me-“

“Help me with my baggage I’m feelin’ depressed and I don’t know why!” Nishinoya sighed, before smiling widely and standing up with his chest out.

“Ok. Doctor Nishinoya here. What seems to be the problem, good sir.”

Tanaka snickered. It was Nishinoya’s turn to glare at him.

“So, I went on a date with this gu-, um, girl, and I only went because I promised, so now I don’t know why I’m feeling so sad.”

“Liaaar. Siiiiimp.”

“Shut up!” Tanaka barked at Nishinoya. “I’m tellin’ the truth here!”

“Well,” Tanaka gave Nishinoya a look to go on. Noya clicked a pen he found on the club room floor and adjusted his non-existent glasses. “Sounds like you caught feelings, dude.”

Tanaka sputtered. “I-I couldn’t have!”

“You totally could.”

“Could not!”

“You could”

“Not!”

“Why not, then?” Nishinoya crossed his arms.

“Because the person I went on a date with is a dude!”

Nishinoya choked on air. Tanaka covered his mouth. Noya sighed.

“Well, maybe you’re just a lil’ gay then.”

“I’M NOT!”

——

Ok, maybe he was. Just a little bit. A teeny weeny bit.

Tanaka found himself standing outside the 2-4 classroom, and he frankly didn’t know why. He didn’t know why he was so nervous too. He was really, really scared to go inside. But he wouldn’t show it.

Which is why he was leaning on the wall across from the door, with a scowl on his face and a suffocating, intimidating aura around him. Ennoshita walked out of the 2-4 classroom, before immediately being drowned in Tanaka’s scary presence.

“Jesus Christ Tanaka-kun, you scared the hell out of me!” Ennoshita rubbed his eyes. “Anyways, did you need something? Were you waiting for me or something?”

Tanaka’s face relaxed. “Uh! Actually I-I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here, so I’m just gonna-“

“Tanaka-kun?”

Shit.

Tanaka slowly turned around. Standing in the classroom door frame was (Y/n), holding a bento and looking directly at Tanaka.

“Oh-! Sorry, sorry, please give me a second-ah-!” (Y/n) excused himself from his growing horde of female classmates, worming his way out of the classroom.

“What are you doing here?”

Tanaka’s mouth ran dry. Nishinoya’s voice rang in his ear.

‘Well, maybe you’re just a lil’ gay then.’

Fuck! Maybe he was. But fuck.

“U-uh...” A million thought went through Tanaka’s head, and went blank at the same time. It was the same feeling he gets whenever he looked at Kiyoko. The same tingly, warm, simp-y feeling.

Ennoshita looked between the two, before gasping in realization. “Oh. Oh! So-uh, I’m gonna...head to practice-Daichi said he needed me for something bye-!”

Ennoshita whispered a “Tell him.” in Tanaka’s ear as he walked by, then promptly disappeared behind a wall. Tanaka looked back at (Y/n).

“Um...h-hi...”

‘Fuck! Stop stuttering!’

Tanaka leaned against the wall, trying to seem as cool and suave as he could. (Y/n) put his hands in his pockets.

“Did’ya need something from me?”

‘Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.’

Shut up, Ennoshita! Tell him what, exactly? He didn’t know if he was even sure about his feelings or not.

“So...about our um...date a few days ago..” Tanaka also shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Ah! You’re here to tell me it was weird going out with a guy! Or that it was weird going out with a guy in a skirt! I’m-“

“No! No! Not at all!” Tanaka blurted out. (Y/n) let his mouth fall shut.

“I just...” Tanaka pursed his lips. “...Maybe we could, I dunno, go out on...another date.”

“Really?!”

Tanaka flushed and furrowed his brows. “Y-Yeah! You got a problem with that-!”

“Yeah! I mean no! I mean I’d love to go!” (Y/n) grasped onto Tanaka’s hands, squeezing them tightly. “Are you free this Friday at around 8?”

“‘Course I am!”

“It’s a date, then, Tanaka-kun.”

——————

Epilogue:

“No way your going out with her.”

“Him.” Tanaka corrected, pointing at Nishinoya’s phone. An image of (Y/n) holding up a cat he found on the street in an oversized sweater was on screen. “It’s a dude. And he’s my boyfriend.”

Nishinoya stopped walking. Tanaka raised his eyebrows.

“You’re such a liar, dude-“

“Tanaka-kun!”

A voice rang out, with growing footsteps approaching behind them. Both Tanaka and Nishinoya turned around, though with the dark moonlight it was hard to see who it was.

Someone wearing a skirt, tucked in shirt, and Karasuno jacket stopped behind the two. Tanaka smirked triumphantly what Nishinoya gawked, looking between his phone and the person.

(Y/n) smiled. “Are we still on for our date today? I know it’s kinda late...”

“Course we are, babe.” Tanaka smugly wrapped his arm around (Y/n), making sure Nishinoya saw. Noya’s mouth fell open.

“HOLY-WHAT THE FUCK! RYU, HOW’D YOU-“

“To be honest I don’t really know either.”

——————

[writingsfromhome]

Sorry x Rare

A/N: I got two lyric requests for Sorry by Beyonce and Rare by Selena Gomez. They were both sort of two sides of the same coin so I wrote them together it mostly goes from rare to sorry. Thanks for the requests, fingers crossed it lives up to what you wanted! <3

Synopsis: You and Harry have been together for a long time but he’s not the same man you fell in love with anymore.

-----

I move my dinner around on my plate, my gaze on the man pacing outside the restaurant on his phone. My man. But it didn't really feel like that these days. These days, Harry was a stranger to me--late nights, phone calls interrupting dinner, waking up to find him gone and not even sure if he'd come home at all.

I watch him remove the phone from his ear in a rush, stare at it, and then shove it aggressively in his pocket. He walks back in, cheeks pink and huffing.

"Should we ask for the bill?" He sits down in a flurry. I stare at his barely-eaten meal and my own dinner mashed to bits.

"We've barely had dinner."

"Babe, we've been here for over an hour since..." he takes his phone back out to inform me of how much time exactly but something must catch his attention because his sentence dies on his lips. I stare, he was so distant lately. "I'll drop you off at home, I've got to meet the boys they decided to talk business-"

"It's 8pm on a Thursday," I state the obvious. "Can't you catch up with them la-"

"This isn't an argument Y/N," Harry finally looks at me. He was done discussing it. He lifts his hands to the waiter and a minute later dinner's been paid for. He wasn't my baby, I think as we stroll outside to his car. I don't know who this man was.

***

I wake up the next morning with the weight of Harry on the other side of the bed. I could smell him, the booze sitting in his pores.

“Ugh,” I groan, not wanting to smell that first thing in the morning. I get up and start my day before I head to work. Soon, Harry appears squinting as I stir sugar into my coffee.

“I need a coffee,” he says, his voice hoarse. It used to sound sexy but now it was just another reminder that things changed. We lived like roommates and it hurt that he never wanted to talk. Half the time, he acted like I wasn’t even there.

I watch him settle with his coffee, taking the first sip and letting out a deep breath. A memory comes to me suddenly, the first year we were dating,

“I think this is the best coffee I’ve ever had,” it was the first night Harry had stayed the whole night and I’d made him coffee in my outdated coffee maker. It came out burnt half the time but that morning’s cup was decent. We’re swaddled in my blankets--the room I rented back then had poor circulation in the winter.

“I think you’re still slightly drunk,” I lean my shoulder against his and cup the warm drink. “I’ve definitely had better coffees.”

“Maybe coffees are just better the morning after,” he says, glancing at me and I know he can see the flush on my cheeks. He knew I was shy talking about certain things in the light of day.

“We can say that,” I mumble into the cup. “It’s just nice to have a heat source.”

“Here,” he takes the cup from me and reaches over to put both on the nightstand.

“Hey I wasn’t done with that.”

“I know but if you’re cold, I know this other heat source--it even works for hypothermia.”

His statement causes a blood rush that warms me already but I don’t say no to what he has in mind. I could make us another cup later.

Harry catches me staring when he looks over and raises an eyebrow. I snap out of my thoughts and twist my lips into a smile, looking back at my own drink bitterly. Who was this man in front of me? Out loud, I ask: “How was your night? You came in late.”

“I was out with the boys.” he says in a tone that meant he didn’t want to talk about it. “It got late.”

“A text would’ve been nice,” I say, still looking at my cup.

“S’not like you were waiting up,” he turns to walk back towards the bedroom.

“Learned not to,” I mumble but I know he’s heard me with the way he pauses. But he didn’t care enough to argue, dispute it, nothing. He leaves.

***

"Guess who just made a commission that's more than I used to earn in a year?" April walks into the small office, an infectious grin on her face.

"You sold him on it?" I put away the file I'm working on and jump up to hug my friend.

"I had to flirt a little--give him a vivid picture of what he could have there, and he signed! I'm bloody brilliant."

April was my American ex-pat who I met when she was looking for a flat a few years ago. And now here she was, working for me at the small real estate office I managed with a few other people I considered friends.

"Do you know if he was single?" I tune back in to hear Janelle asking.

"No, don't give her bad advice!" I scold Janelle. “We don’t date clients.”

"I'm miserably single," April pouts. "I'll take advice even if it’s bad."

"Bad advice is to stay with your college sweetheart to the point where you're not sure he even cares about you." I say to no one in particular. It was just us in the office today, and they knew everything about my life so I didn't care much. But the pin-drop silence that follows is different. I look up to see my friends eyeing each other. "What?"

"Nothing." They stay tight lipped but I push and they crack. "Well, so...we know things are rocky between you and Harry..."

"Things aren't rocky," I clarify. "They're just...nonexistent."

"Right," April slides closer. "Soo, we saw him at the club yesterday."

I raise my eyebrow, "He told me he was meeting up with his boys."

"Oh!" They sound surprised I know, but they look at each other again so I push them. "He was...there was a girl? Sitting on his lap for most of the night? Like, nothing happened I don't think so?" She turns to look at April at the end of each sentence.

Personally, I feel gut-punched even though I suspected this. I knew he wasn't where he said he was going to be sometimes, or with who he said he was going to be with. But he cut our own dinner short last night to be with strangers yesterday? I grip the pen in my hand.

"Y/N honestly...you know we love you and support you. But, you're a special girl and you deserve better than that sod."

"Yeah," Janelle puts her hand on my shoulder. "You're a gem Y/N. There's someone else out there who's gonna see how rare you are."

"I know," I blow my cheeks out. We'd had different conversations like this before, although never this direct. I guess we'd never had direct proof of what my husband was doing until now though.

"He's an idiot not knowing you're so rare," my friends try to comfort me. I feel my eyes well up and I swipe at them. I wasn't going to cry at work but they must sense the tears because they excuse themselves, "We're going to get you a tea, and some pastries to celebrate April's sale. April?"

I keep my face buried in my hands as they leave, take a few deep breaths. "I am rare," I say to myself but even that makes me laugh bitterly. Harry and I had been together for 5 years and here I was trying to count up all the reasons we should stay together when he didn't even care. He was out with other women, and I was waiting around for him.

"I'm rare," I say again. "I'm special, I deserve better. I...deserve better."

When will u be home tonight? I text Harry before I lose my nerve.

Busy he says. That’s it. And then, Why?

What time? I ask again.

8 or so, he responds.

Okay, we need to talk then. I put my phone away, too scared what he might text back. A tear falls from my cheek onto my keyboard, landing on the letter H. It mocks me. I wipe it off, and before I can think about what I'm doing I smash the letter down with my fist. I stand up and walk to the back of the office, a window overlooks the busy street. I'd had enough, I decide. Fuck Harry.

I’m not sure how long I stand there stewing, but my friends walking in with pastries and tea ends the emotional boiling pot from overflowing.

"Thanks," I take the cup from them.

“So we were talking and...” April looks at Janelle and she nods. “You should come out with us some time. Like...tonight. Dance with us, with other people...”

“I...I’ve got something at 8,” I come up with an excuse. As angry as I was, I wanted to have this conversation. It was long overdue.

***

I check my time again, the last text Harry sent me Ok. But it was 8:25 and Harry still wasn’t home. I’d give him five more minutes, I decide. I’d already tried to ring him with no answer.

I stare at the ring on my finger, it was supposed to symbolize a promise he made to me. What a fucking joke. I should’ve never said I do in the first place.

Was it young love, I wonder. Did we do this too fast and we were just set up to fail? But I remember the good memories, the soft and sweet times between us.

“I-I’ve never done something like this before,” I tell Harry. “I hate heights.”

“Listen,” he crowds around me, blocking my view of his friends who are walking up the narrow trail like it was any old walkway. “You go in front of me, I’ll have my hand on your back the whole time. I won’t let you fall. I promise.”

I look up into those gentle eyes and swallow my fear. “Okay.”

“I promise it will be so worth it,” he gushes, his excitement uncaged now that I’d agreed. “There’s no lights there so the stars are so bloody bright--I know you’re going to love it!”

I can’t help it, my lips crack into a smile at his boyish excitement. He catches it and pauses, a breath in this whirlwind of a night. What started out as a house party turned into a walk to a local beach which turned into a hike into the woods and up a precarious--and very steep--ridge to get to an isolated lookout. Only with Harry did I find myself in these situations. And I loved it. I loved him, I realise then. My expression must change because he tugs on my hand, probably worried I’d change my answer.

“Walk ahead,” he instructs and I nearly tip toe on the ridge that’s at least 30 feet across. But his steady hand on my back pushes me gently and I walk across confidently until I look down 2/3 of the way. I freeze in place but Harry’s ready. “Y/N, you’re safe here. Look at me-look...”

I crane my neck and he grounds me, oh my god how did I just realise now how in love I was with him? He squeezes my hand, asks if I was okay. I had to be, I couldn’t stay stuck in the middle.

Inch by inch we finally make it to the other side and I jump off with a yelp which sets Harry off in a burst of laughter. Pretty soon he’s lifted me over his shoulder and carries me to the lookout on the edge. My feet had been through enough, he’d said.

And he was right--it was so worth it; the view with all the stars laid out. The buildings and their light pollution below were blocked out by the outcrops and it made the stars twinkle in all their glory. It made it the perfect place to be with the person I loved.

“Isn’t it the most incredible view?” Harry whispers in awe behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist.

“I.....I have no words apparently,” I laugh and turn in his arms. “Thanks for pushing me, this...it was worth it.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ears and gazes at me in a way that makes me want to squirm. But I hold his gaze.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asks with a smile.

“Compared to the view,” I glance behind us. “I guess I’m alright.”

“No,” he guides my face back towards his. “This view over that one, any day. M’just that lucky.”

My words die on my lips as I’m overwhelmed by this feeling between us, the one I thought would keep us together like this forever.

He raises an eyebrow when I go silent and I shrug, “I’m all out of words today.”

I close my eyes as he kisses my temple. I turn back around and we spend the moment in silence, drinking in the view. His friends chatter around us but they’re background noise. My life felt like a movie right now.

Before we leave as a group, I tug Harry back. This was a good as place as any to tell him. I press my lips to his, and it takes him a second but he’s kissing me back. Before it can get carried away I push away and tell him what I’d been thinking all night, “I love you.”

He takes a step back, and then he’s grinning and pulling me back. “I love you! I love you listen, I’ve been wanting to say that for weeks!”

“Weeks?!”

“Yeah weeks! My sister said it was too soon, I might scare you off!”

I think about a few weeks ago, I was intensely shy around him even then. Maybe she was right, but the idea that he talked about me to his sister makes me flush. I wrap my arms around his waist “I just...this moment is so perfect. I never want it to end.”

“It doesn’t have to.” he’d promised. “I’m yours forever Y/N.”

When 8:30 comes and goes I call April, she lets me know where they were. “We’re so happy you’re coming! Are you sure you don’t want us to meet you somewhere else?” she shouts into the phone. When I tell her I just wanted to be where they were she reminds me to text them when I was nearby.

I have to dig into the back of my closet, past the pantsuits I wore to work, the casual dresses and loungewear. I still had some of my old party clothes, just a bit tighter than they used to be. But for where I was going, it would fit in.

Before I leave, I take a pen and scrawl a note: “Great talk"

My friends spot me as I walk in. The music is instantly too loud, the lights too bright, and there are too many people. But one of my them shoves a drink in my hand and pretty soon it’s the best place on earth. It was exactly where I needed to be. I turn off my cellphone and enjoy myself.

After a certain point, I don’t even know who I’m talking to, but pressed up against a body, feeling wanted, it drives me to keep dancing all night. Eventually, I crash at April’s and don’t roll out of hers until 11 the next morning. Harry’s barely an afterthought until I’m tucked in the taxicab taking me home and turn on my phone. 8 missed calls, 2 voicemails and 13 texts.

I’m shocked at the volume, Harry hadn’t blown up my phone like this in over a year. I listen to one voicemail: “Where the hell are you? I come home an hour late and you’re bloody gone with this stupid note here. Pick up! I’ve called you a billion times.”

I stare at my phone, I hadn’t heard Harry this passionate since...well it was a long time. And all it took was going out late and not answering his calls, giving him a taste of his own medicine. It almost makes me angrier; I had to partake in this juvenile dance to get his attention, even though we’d been married nearly 2 years.

He’s on a call when I get home, talking numbers or something. I head directly to the shower, clean up, and take my sweet time. It must’ve driven him mad waiting for me because by the time I’m out he blows a gasket.

“What’s this stunt you pulled last night? Wanting to talk and leaving me a stupid sarcastic note just because I’m late? Where were you?”

“Out,” I shrug. “I didn’t know you were late. You didn’t text.”

“I didn’t tex--oh I see, now we’re being petty yeah?”

That irked me, “I’m not being petty. It’s not like I get the same courtesy when you’re out late!”

“I’m busy, I can’t always be texting you!”

Excuses, I laugh and he looks at me like I’m crazy. “Busy what? Screwing other women-”

“Don’t be making shit up-”

“I’ve had people tell me that they see you with other women Harry! S’not a far stretch!”

That quiets him. Finally, he comes forward to stand inches away. “Y/N, c’mon. You and me...this is stupid. Sure I go out to party but I’m not-”

“Stop.” he was actually trying to talk his way out of this. And because I’d rather step in front of an oncoming train than cry in front of him, I head to the front door and walk out. I’d find someplace to crash today, but I wasn’t doing this.

***

“How’re you doing?” Janelle asks. I’d shown up at her doorstep and she set up her guest bed. She had plans so I spent most of my time burying myself in work, trying to get rid of all that angry energy pent up in me. Janelle had just come home.

“I’m just trying to move on. I don’t want to talk about him, I just don’t care at this point--I’m fed up!”

“As you should be,” she agrees. “Listen, I know we had a crazy night yesterday but I’m going out with some friends today and...maybe it’ll help you?”

I think about the killer headache this morning, but I also remember how good it felt to forget for a bit. I agree. Before I know it, Janelle’s found something that fits me and we’re back at a different club than the night before. Her friends are familiar faces but after a few drinks we’re all best friends. It feels great. Until I spot Harry’s face.

“That’s enough,” his face looms over mine as he pushes away the man I’m up against.

“What the fuck Harry...” I trail off as he pulls me away from the middle of the crowd. I try to pry his hand off but there’s too many people and he’s moving too quickly...and I’ve had a lot of drinks. “Let me go!” I say when we finally step away. We’re in what must be a private room. He seemed familiar with it--of course.

“So just because you heard I’m out and about some nights, you decide to come here and fuck around with random men?”

“Excuse me?” I stare at him, he was out of his mind. “I’m out having fun with my friends! I’m not here because of you.”

“Really? You come to the same place I come to all the time and dance with these strangers? And you’re drunk as fuck!”

“Since when did you care?” I ask. “Just leave me alone. You’ve been doing that perfectly fine the last few months.”

“I’m your bloody husband Y/N, you can’t just-”

“Then act like one!” I shout, and in the muffled quiet of the room with the bass thumping through it rings out. “I don’t need you! And you made it clear you don’t need me. These rings are a fucking joke, here-” I take mine off and throw it at him.

“You don’t mean it-”

“I do.” I give him a level stare, suddenly clear-headed. Maybe I’d process it later, but right now I was finally seeing what he’d become. He deserved to feel how I felt, and quite frankly, I didn’t give a fuck. I flip him with both hands, “Quite frankly Harry, you can suck my d-”

“Harry!” A shrill voice rings out from the entrance that now carries the loud beats of the dance floor, swallowing my words. “Liam told me you were here!”

I glance at the brunette in the doorway and back at him. I couldn’t even muster an eye roll; I had enough.

“Y/N!” Harry calls my name as I walk out.

“No it’s me, Becky?!” she tries to correct him. I can’t help but laugh as I make my way back to my friends with a drink in my hand, feeling free.

***

“Y/N, it’s Harry. I don’t know how it got this shite just please call me back. Just give me five minutes that’s all I n--message deleted”

“He’s moved on to the office phone then?” Janelle asks, her desk was beside mine so she’d heard him as I checked my messages. It was two weeks since that glorious night when I’d dumped Harry’s ass. Although a lot of my things were still at our house, I was just staying in a hotel right now while I figured things out. One thing I knew for sure though, I didn’t want to see him again.

“It’s pretty pathetic,” I say. It was also pathetic how long I’d stayed waiting around for us to be magically fixed. But that was something I was working on getting past.

“You’re glowing without him,” April says from where she’s getting her files together. “Haven’t you got that showing out east?”

“Yeah, oh god is that the time?” I rush to get my files in order. “I’ll catch up with you later-”

“We’re still getting drinks after?”

“Yes, drinks!” I call out as I leave the office and head down to the lobby. I don’t expect Harry there, and I barely have time for him as he comes up to keep my pace.

“Harry, I’ve got somewhere to be please leave me alone.”

“Y/N, wait just please listen to me.”

“No.”

“2 minutes!”

“Not even 1,” I spot my cab out front and head towards it. I’m about to get in but Harry holds the door. “Harry let go I’m going to be late.”

“Just let me talk to you, please!”

I finally look at him and he’s quite a sight. His hair is matted and without it’s usual bounce. He’s got a rough look and a 5 ‘o clock shadow.

“You had plenty of time to talk to me for months, you were too busy at the club. Sorry not sorry,” I tug at the door and he lets go, I don’t spare a backwards glance as we drive away.

One of the showings is successful, I manage to sell the family on the home and we set up a meeting to go over details at my office later in the week. I’ve got a bounce in my step as I return to the office. I tell the girls I’d meet them at the bar as I finalize my papers at the office. My bounce falters when I go head out after 5 to see Harry waiting outside the building.

“Y/N,” he calls out when he sees me. “I’m not going to leave until you talk to me.”

“That’s called stalking,” I say. A few people walking past us turn to glance at him and he notices. He moves to the inside lobby and asks me to follow. With a big sigh I do.

“I know what I did.” he begins.

“Congratulations,” I roll my eyes.

“No wait, I know what I did to you. And sorry can’t cover it. Just let me make it up to you, we have history and-”

“You don’t get it.” I stop his monologue from going any further. “I’m gonna be just fine. Without you. You didn’t care about our history until you couldn’t have me. I don’t know what happened to you Harry, but you’re not the man I fell in love with-”

“I know,” he says, tears of frustration coating his lashes. “I fucked up, I-I didn’t see what I had right in front of me and I just-”

“Let her slip away? Is that the best you can come up with?” I scoff. “You know what Harry? I’m done with this! Boy...bye.”

“Y/N just--” he grabs my arm before I can leave and pushes something cold into my palm. My wedding ring.

“I don’t want this,” I push it back in his hand.

“Please just take it--hold onto it,” he pushes it back into mine and closes my fingers over it. “I can’t...I can’t hold onto it just take it! You don’t even have to think about it-”

“Harry,” I soften my tone. He was desperate and even though some part of me thought it was about time he felt this type of way, my heart hurt a little. I didn’t want him to see that though so I just tuck the ring into the pocket of his button up and pat it. “Goodbye Harry.”

I walk away with my head held high even though he calls out to me. I walk the few blocks to where my friends are waiting and their warm smiles are enough to help me push the memory of Harry’s teary eyes, and the real history we did have once upon a time away. I was done with him, no longer thinking about him.

I just kept telling myself, I was rare like a gem and I had to see that. And maybe one day, someone else will too.

[whumpmatsus]

I may have sth, but since its 18!karamatsu i love him way too much to hurt him all the way XD

But how about a classic bully situation? He IS timid so he is an easy target. Maybe the bully is from the theatre club as well (just to double the angst). His friend/crush realises the situation and after a while of trying they figure out that its kinda difficult having to face this bully just on their own if anything now theyre a target too! All they can rely on is the rest of the matsunos byr This happens during the time the brothers fell apart 👀✋

and it was on that day... the KARAMATSU DEFENSE SQUAD was born!!!

I did my best, my knowledge of the movie is a bit faded but I tried! at the very least, the situation hopefully fulfills everything you wanted

(I’m not afraid to hurt him lots, but definitely there’s tons of comfort here, the poor baby deserves someone to protect him~)

ENJOY!! I feel like I wrote this super fast and it’s not quite as good as some of my others but I was definitely vibing with it while writing 😂

I also totally feel the bros on this one, I’m the oldest kid in my family and even tho my relationship with my brother might not be perfect, that’s my baby brother and no matter what else is going on, as soon as someone else treats him bad I go into big sister protection mode!! 🔪🔪

... and I totally feel reader too because UGHHH I just wanna protect Kara!!!

-

When you enter a new high school in your final year, it feels almost like you’re an outsider.

Most of these people have grown up together. They were in the same preschool, the same primary school, the same middle school, and now the same high school. All of them have been together for their entire lives. Especially in a small town like Akatsuka Ward, where everyone knows everyone else.

It’s hard to fit in when you only have one year to bond with the rest of the students. Toward the end of the year, it becomes apparent that you haven’t really gotten that close to anyone. You sometimes share little moments during lunch or in class with Takahashi Nozomi; she’s really the only person you consider a friend, even if you’re not quite ‘friends’ in the traditional sense.

With only a month left in the school year, you actually manage to find another friend in a guy named Karamatsu.

You’ve seen him hanging around with his brothers, or at least you know they’re his brothers. After being startled at seeing the same face everywhere (sometimes with a boyish grin, sometimes with patches of acne, sometimes with glasses, sometimes with half-lidded eyes, sometimes with a forced scowl, and sometimes with chubby red cheeks), Nozomi giggled as she told you about them all. They’re sextuplets, the Matsuno brothers, and they used to be almost carbon copies of each other in both looks and personality.

She says they’ve become different now as they try to find themselves, to become distinct adults. You wonder how anyone could have ever mistaken them for each other, though you suppose it’s possible if they really were completely identical up until now. To you it’s pretty easy to tell them apart once you know their names.

You’d certainly never mistake Karamatsu for one of his brothers. He’s a very nervous person… except that he seems able to put that aside for the sake of being kind. When you were sitting by the exit doors after classes were over, crying because you forgot your umbrella and couldn’t imagine walking all the way to the train station in the rain, he was the one who helped you.

Being so shy, he could have just hung back. Instead he came up and spoke to you in this soft voice. He led you outside and let you stand under his umbrella, walking the whole way to the station with you so you wouldn’t get wet.

Ever since then you’ve been hanging out with him more, sometimes just reading side by side in the library, sometimes talking to him and his younger brother Ichimatsu during lunch in the stairwell, sometimes walking to the train station together like on that day. It’s nice and comfortable. Neither of you push each other.

You think you’re friends now. You hope so.

Even still, you’ve come to start viewing him through another lens. He’s sweet and handsome and you… don’t know that you stood a chance of not developing a crush on him.

Though, you don’t know that you can tell him. Would it spook him? He’s so skittish and unsure, you don’t want to startle him or anything. So for now you just let yourself be content in what you have.

The biggest problem comes when you catch someone practically slamming Karamatsu into the lockers, and the conversation between the two of them implies that this has been going on for a long time. It boggles your mind, because ever since you became friends with him, you’ve walked with him to the auditorium before heading home. He’s in the drama club that meets every day after classes let out, so you think you might as well ‘drop him off’ since he always walks you to your locker before classes start.

If this has been going on for a while, how did you never know? Why wouldn’t he tell you? The day you see it, it’s because you lingered for a minute before heading out the door, on your phone; out of sight of Karamatsu and this other guy, but able to see them from your spot.

It makes you mad more than anything. The bully is a popular kid, who’s easily got like 10 centimeters on poor Karamatsu, and the comments you overheard make it clear he doesn’t want Karamatsu in the drama club. They’re along the lines of things like, “You don’t belong here, so why don’t you get lost already?” and “You know you’re never gonna be anything other than a fucking tree, right? You’re never gonna get a lead role, because you suck!” and “Why don’t you just go hang out with your loser brothers? They’re the only people who are ever gonna give a shit about you, and you know it!”

A few times now you’ve seen it and heard what he says, because after the first time, you start to watch for a minute after you walk Karamatsu to the auditorium. You want to make sure this guy wouldn’t actually get physical again ― seeing him shove Karamatsu into the lockers in a way that probably left bruises is a memory that’s never going to leave you. Just thinking about it makes you angry.

How dare anybody be mean to Karamatsu like that? He’s such a kind person, he never causes trouble or hurts anyone. He doesn’t deserve to be treated any other way than he treats everybody else.

So today you wait until drama club’s over. You watch Karamatsu head into the auditorium, thankfully without the bully meeting him at the door this time. Then you camp out there, playing on your phone and reading and killing time until the club meeting is over. Usually it lasts for an hour, so you keep an eye on the time.

Finally people start to trickle out of the auditorium, and two of the first out are Karamatsu and the bully. You get to your feet quickly… though not fast enough to keep the bully from pushing your friend into the lockers again. This time he actually grabs a fistful of Karamatsu’s hair, tugging at it, hard.

“You know, I really don’t get you,” he hisses, and slams Karamatsu against the lockers again. “I keep telling you over and over, you should go find somewhere else to act like a fucking nerd, but you keep coming back here. We’ve got like two weeks left till graduation, and you’re still in here trying to get attention? It’s just not gonna get through that you don’t deserve it. You’re never gonna have people looking at you and thinking you’re this cool actor who’s any good. So why are you still bothering?”

Karamatsu keeps his eyes down, clearly trying to avoid making the situation worse. You can only imagine what kind of fear is going on in his head, because he’s such a non-confrontational guy, you know he just wants to be left alone. Even if he wants some attention as an actor, what’s wrong with that? Why the hell doesn’t he deserve that? “C… come on… Morita-san… it’s not like I’m trying to t-take your spot or anything…”

“Yeah, and you never could! You’ve thought about that, haven’t you? Why I always  get the lead and while you’re always in a part that could be played by scenery? It’s ‘cause you suck, Matsuno. You and the rest of your creepy brothers, you’ll never amount to anything.” He yanks on Karamatsu’s hair again. “Oi, wake up! It’s time to stop pretending, dumbass!”

“HEY! Let go of him!” As soon as you recover from your shock and can move again, you rush forward. Your hands are immediately grabbing at Morita-san’s, trying to pry him off of either Karamatsu’s hair or his shirt. What the hell is this guy’s problem?! What does it hurt him if Karamatsu likes to act, especially if Karamatsu doesn’t care if he’s got a small role? “Come on! Pick on someone else, you asshole!!”

“(Name)!” Karamatsu’s eyes widen when he sees you, and he starts to struggle a little rather than stay still. “W-what are you doing here? Please don’t…”

Before he can even finish that sentence, Morita-san has given a forceful smack that knocks you onto the floor. Although you’re sure you wouldn’t have anything but a bruise on your butt from the landing, his hand also hit your jaw hard enough that you can already feel it swelling. “O… ow…”

Morita-san laughs as he pulls on Karamatsu’s hair again. “Wow, so you have someone who’s willing to bark at me like a dog trying to protect its master? Too bad they’re not a big dog. Then again, you don’t deserve someone who could actually stand a chance.”

He keeps Karamatsu pinned to the lockers with one hand, and puts the other in his pocket as he looks down at you. “(Name), is that it? (Surname), right? Maybe you don’t get it ‘cause you’ve only lived here for like a year, but this guy and his dumb brothers are losers. If you wanna waste your time with any of them, you’re even stupider than all of them combined. Maybe next time, I can dunk both your heads in the same toilet.”

With that, he suddenly turns and practically throws Karamatsu down on the floor like he’s pitching a baseball or something. Karamatsu lands just a little bit away from you, and you see his face hit the floor. He barely catches himself, but you notice that he winces when he does, and that it looks like there’s blood dripping down his cheek.

“You dorks are lucky I have to get going,” Morita-san sneers. “Don’t worry, though. I’m not done with either of you, if you ever show up here again.”

Almost instantly Karamatsu is crawling over to you as Morita-san heads off down the hallway, and you grab him to scuttle behind the wall so you don’t catch anyone else’s attention as the auditorium starts to empty out. As soon as you have him close, he clings to you so tight you think you can hear his heart beating.

“Y-you shouldn’t have done that,” he murmurs, and yet he doesn’t seem to want to let go. As much as you’re sure he didn’t want you to get hurt, he’s pressing himself into you for safety. “Why are you even…”

You look up to find that despite your soreness and beginning bruises, he seems to be in worse shape. There are tears starting to trickle down his face, and the blood running down his cheek is from the patch of acne on that side ― it appears when his face hit the tile, it hit hard enough to make it bleed. He’s also cradling his wrist against his chest in a way that tells you it hurts.

A couple tissues are fished out of your pocket, and you reach over to hold them against his cheek. Hopefully, if you can stop the bleeding, that might suffice to help things while you ride the train. “I saw him bullying you a couple times,” you answer quietly. “I wanted to see if… if maybe I could…” You sigh. “But now look, you’re hurt. I’m sorry… I just made everything worse.”

He shakes his head, grimacing at the pressure from the tissues. “Ow… n-no, don’t be sorry… you got hurt, too. That’s why I didn’t tell you about it… I knew y-you’d try to do something and… well…”

For a long few minutes, the two of you sit there together. One hand holds the tissues, and your other hand gently strokes his back to help him calm down. After all… it’s okay. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was trying to keep you from getting involved so you wouldn’t get hurt.

You don’t really know what to do now. Not only did you not fix anything, now Morita-san is going to come after you, too. He’s evidently stronger than both you and Karamatsu, so there’s no strength in numbers.

… Or, is there? Maybe you just need more numbers.

Hesitantly, you brush a kiss over the top of Karamatsu’s head. He stiffens in your arms, looking up at you with watery eyes and an expression of disbelief that you just did that. “… (Name)…?”

“C’mon, Karamatsu.” You offer a smile, then guide him up onto his feet, doing your best to support him. “Let me walk you home.”

-

“So, wait, wait… Kara… months?! This has been happening for months and you didn’t tell anyone?! What the shit, dude?!”

The tone in Osomatsu’s voice makes both of you cringe as you smooth a bandage coated with antibiotic ointment over Karamatsu’s cheek. He gives a whimper of discomfort, and leans against you readily afterwards.

“I… I didn’t know if you guys… would know what to do.” His voice is quiet and shaky, still a little rattled from today’s events. “Things have been so weird between us lately… I-I wasn’t sure if you’d even… care.”

“Of course we care!!” Choromatsu snaps, though he hurries to put himself back into place, probably realizing how harsh that sounded. “We’re your twin brothers! And even if you didn’t come to us, why not go to one of the teachers?”

Before he can come up with a reply, Totty scampers back into the room with an ice pack, patting it lightly against the swollen bruise on your jaw. “Here, here, (Name)-chan! Are you and Karamatsu-nii-chan gonna be okay??”

You ruffle his hair with one hand, then grab the ice pack to hold against your jaw yourself. “Uh-huh. Thanks, Totty. Did you get one for Karamatsu’s wrist?”

“― Oh! I’ll be right back!!” And he’s off again.

Since your injury isn’t that bad, you shift the ice pack from your jaw down to Karamatsu’s wrist. He jumps a little, but reaches over to hold it himself. “I’m sorry… y-you guys are all so worried… I didn’t want you to worry.”

“We should be worried,” you huff. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this. You’ve never done anything to anybody! You don’t deserve to get hurt just because some jerk wants to go on a power trip. We’re all adults, right? He should fucking act like it and pick on someone his own size.”

You hear Ichimatsu snort mirthlessly before putting a hand on his hip. “Who did you say it was? Morita-san? I’m friends with his sister. She can make things hell for him.”

“Good,” Jyushimatsu speaks up, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ll kill him, and then his sister can be hell.”

Karamatsu frowns at all of them and shakes his head. “N-no, you guys… you don’t have to…”

“You’re damn right we have to, stupid!” Osomatsu crosses his arms. “Nobody fucks with my baby brothers and gets away with it. I don’t care if shit’s weird between us, you’re still our brother! We’re not just gonna let someone mess with you like this!”

Choromatsu pushes his glasses up with an anxious smile. “Besides, bullying is against the rules! Morita-san needs to be punished.”

Totty rushes back into the room; upon seeing that you put your ice pack on Karamatsu’s wrist, he presses the new one against your jaw. “All set! Kara-nii-chan and (Name)-chan will be all better in no time!”

You smile, accommodating Karamatsu who’s trying to hide his face in your shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Karamatsu.”

“Y… you promise… none of you will g-get hurt because of me?” he mumbles, peeking up at you.

“No way,” you promise as you give him an affectionate squeeze. “Now that your brothers know, it’s gonna be seven of us against one.”

“That settles it,” Osomatsu grins. “This jackass, Morita-san?”

Everyone turns to look at the eldest Matsuno.

“… He’s going fuckin’ down.”

[angstsfordays]

Beautiful Pain (5)

Chapter Five- Think About Us

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader

Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-Blip world.

Chapter synopsis: Feeling lucky to have met Sharon in Madripoor, she could be your lead to find out the origins of the new super serums. Meanwhile, your one-sided love for Bucky might turn out otherwise.

Warnings: Awkward run-ins. Sexual tension, perhaps? A slow slow burn. Violence. A few bad words.

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: Hi everyone! Ever since I started this series, I gained a great number of followers and I am so thankful for everyone who did so! I am really glad you have been enjoying this series so far! 😆

Please let me know what you think of the story, I really appreciate it! 😘

The tag list is still open! Let me know if you want to join with a message or comment in the chapters!

Previous: Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

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Sharon brought you back to her place and you were amazed at how high end it was. The residential place had armed security and as you entered the building, you realised that there was a gallery within it filled with stolen original artworks.

Sharon explained how she had to chose to make the most of her new life. Even she was a fugitive of the states, she made sure she put her skills to use so that she could enjoy a comfortable life.

You were in awe at her resilience. Sam in an innocent moment, couldn’t believe that all the artworks in Sharon’s gallery were the real deal and Bucky informed that the museums were all holding fakes.

Letting you know that she’s hosting clients in an hour, she ushered all of you to go get changed. Sharon told you to choose anything from her personal wardrobe and offered you to use the bathroom.

Giving your thanks, she left you to your own. You immediately took off your heels and pulled the strings that held your dress together. Taking advantage of her bathroom products, you wiped off your makeup and allowed yourself a refreshing quick shower.

Once the last bit of bubbles was washed off your body, you towelled yourself off and put on a fresh set of underwear. As you were about to reach for the hairdryer, you suddenly heard the jolt of the door and you turned to see Bucky entering the same bathroom.

It was a brief second of exchange before you turned your back on him while he exited and close the door behind him.

“Oh shoot, sorry- I didn’t know-” Bucky stuttered as he struggled to find the right words. You felt your cheeks turning hot but tried to stay cool.

“It’s okay, don’t need to worry.” As you were met with silence, you couldn’t help but wince at the awkward moment and hoped to make it go away.

“Are you urgent?” You added on to see if he would respond. His next words brought you relief as you thought he would have just walked off without notice.

“Oh no, it’s fine. I can wait.” You thought that you didn’t want to make him wait and quickly rushed to wear the oversized white blouse and light flared denim that Sharon passed to you.

You quickly proceeded to open the door to find Bucky standing awkwardly with his hands behind and his head looking down on the floor. You saw he had picked out a black ensemble- a black blazer, black shirt, black pants and black shoes.

He looked so good you wanted to melt into a puddle.

When he heard the doors opened, he immediately raised his head to meet your eyes. You tried to give a reassuring smile to ease the atmosphere and told him that he could use the bathroom first. You could dry your hair later.

“I swear I didn’t see anything, I mean I did for a second but that was it.” Bucky tried to explain himself. He hated how he was suddenly being weird around you.

Maybe he was acting because this was the first time he has even remotely seen a woman like that after years of HYDRA’s brainwashing and being on the run. But then again, he had seen all those bikini pictures of women on dating apps and while it was bizarre to him, it didn’t faze him in the way it just did with you.

In all his years that Bucky had known you, that was probably the first time he has actually seen you in such an intimate image. What was up with tonight and why was he suddenly feeling so much about you?

“It’s fine, Buck! It’s not like you are a pervert or something.” Trying to crack a joke so that Bucky could relax, you saw the side of his mouth quirk up in agreement before he stepped into the bathroom.

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You entered the room last seeing everyone was already gathering and talking. Greeted by the sight of Zemo pouring himself a drink and Sam putting on a shirt, your eyes moved to where Sharon joined Bucky on the couch.

You managed to catch the last bit of conversation where Sharon was shading Bucky in regard to the topic of John Walker. Sharon warned of potentially crossing paths with the power broker as you all wanted to find more leads on Nagel.

Sam tried to convince her to help and promised to clear her name. As she poured herself a drink, you could tell from Sharon’s expression that she was not buying it. Her walls were up after the last incident and she wasn’t sure if she could trust you all anymore.

Sam pressed on but Sharon refused to be pitied. He then made it a deal and she relented. Sharon mentioned how her clients were well-connected and she would see if she could get anything useful from the party.

Looking at you stand uncomfortably at the corner, she came up to you and squeezed your shoulder to comfort you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch all this while. There’s no excuse.”

“It’s fine, you were dragged into it pretty much like I was.” Sam gave a surprising look at how Sharon was fine with your apology.

Noticing it, Sharon then explained that she had a softer spot for you since you were friends and you had stuck your neck out for her on several occasions during your S.H.I.E.L.D days.

She was willing to overlook it compared to her almost non-existent history with Sam.

“I’m surprised you kept your secret from me, I thought we were friends after all.” You knew she was referring to your powers. Nervously licking your lips, you responded.

“I’m sorry. It was Director Fury’s order.” The guilt seeped in.

“And you actually revealed it for the first time publicly for him?” Without mentioning his name, Bucky knew Sharon was referring to him. He looked over to see you giving a nervous and awkward smile. While curious to know what you would say, Bucky just looked somewhere else pretending to be unbothered.

“There’s a lot more to it, Sharon. I wish I could tell you more.”

“He’s really something, huh?” Sharon said before sipping her drink. You actually knew what to say but held back especially since Sam and Zemo were in the room.

More importantly, Bucky was there. Sensing your hesitance and noticing your fleeting glance over at Bucky, Sharon had a hunch but she was more than aware to not harp on it.

Giving an awkward laugh, you tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear. You looked into her eyes in a quiet exchange and she returned you a brief smile before telling everyone to lay low and enjoy the party.

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The music was bouncing off the speakers wildly and the flashing lights in the club caused to squint your eyes a bit. Sharon was already working while the rest of you figured how you would exactly blend in.

Zemo was already working his way onto the dance floor and you were flabbergasted at the mere sight of him starting to bust out some moves to the music. You could see Sam being approached by some people and beginning to make small talk.

Turning your head to find Bucky, you realised you had lost sight of him in the crowd. You weren’t exactly in a party mood seeing you’re all alone and opted to head to the bar.

Before taking another step, you heard someone calling for you.

“Hey.” Spinning your head to the source of the voice, you were met with the vision of a tall and handsome man with a boyish smile. You were taken aback by his request to dance and you thought you probably looked like an idiot turning your head to look for your help.

When you face the guy once more, he had an earnest look that was waiting for your answer. Giving him another quick glance up and down, you didn’t think of him to be a sleazy dude. He kind of looked alright but you were wondering that if he were to be in Madripoor, could he even be up to any good?

“You’re really beautiful and I just wanted to dance.” He added on in hopes that you would agree.

Seeing how you were taking a long time to respond, the man reached out to grab your hand and pulled you closer to him. He respectfully kept you at a distance and did not immediately press himself against you.

Blinking like a deer in headlights, you took a sharp intake as he spun you to press your back against his front and placed his hands on your waist. Leading you to dance, you could feel him swaying side to side and guiding you to follow the same. You weren’t sure where to even put your hands and started cracking your knuckles in nervousness.

You bit your lip as you thought about how you should get yourself out of this. The man seemed nice enough but you weren’t into him. You are an agent and someone with superpowers, you should be able to get out of this mess.

Waiting for the right timing to tell him that you didn’t want to continue this, a cold hand reached out to grab yours and firmly pull you out of the man’s grip on you. Your eyes met with a familiar chest and in the next moment, a warm hand rested on your back.

Titling your head up, piercing cerulean orbs met yours and you heaved a sigh of relief at the recognition of the owner with the beautiful eyes.

“Sorry I’m late, doll.” His voice was reverberating all the way from his chest. Your eyes shied away to meet his once more before you peered over your shoulder at the embarrassed man.

“Hey man, I didn’t know. She didn’t say anything.” The man raised his hands in surrender but Bucky was not pleased with his explanation.

“If she didn’t say anything, it is not consent.” Bucky shot back with a death stare. You swore Bucky could add staring onto his list of super abilities as it always seemed to make people tremble in fear, save for Sam.

When the man was gone, Bucky apologised before letting you go. Instant disappointment washed over you as you had secretly hoped to be held by him longer. Bucky cleared his throat and tried to look somewhere far as he didn’t know what to say next in this situation.

You were overwhelmed with emotions and thought that it was now or never.

“Do you wanna dance?” You looked up to see Bucky looking back at you with wide eyes. You instantly regretted ever asking the question and quickly turned yourself away before he could even say anything.

Bucky’s hand shot out to grab yours to stop you from moving and the two of you exchanged in a silent moment before he spoke.

“I don’t really know how to dance to this. Music was different back in the day. The dance is also uh- different-” You knew Bucky was referring to the exceedingly intimate dancing of people that were surrounding you.

It was the norm but you would never see yourself doing that. The only time where you would actually let loose and dance that provocatively was in good fun with your girlfriends or gathered a stroke of courage with hard liquor.

“We don’t need to follow them. We can dance by our own rules.” Hands reaching out to hold his, you moved them to the rhythm to allow him to feel the music. You then lift your right and his left hand in the air before you twirled yourself.

Bucky’s lips moved up into a brief smile as you led the dance with confidence. The two of you were in your own bubble, uncaring of your surroundings. Seeing Bucky loosened up a little more, you picked up the confidence to groove your hips to the music. Recognising the song, you sang it enthusiastically and lost yourself in the lyrics.

This was probably the first time you had the chance to visibly relax from the aftermath of the last fight and the grief of your loss. Bucky couldn’t hold back his grin when he saw how you looked so carefree. He knew that even though you looked cheerful most of the time, he could always sense a tinge of sadness behind those eyes.

The next song was familiar to you as it was a favourite of yours. It was a popular Latin pop song and it easily invites one to dance their heart out.

Wrapping your hands behind his neck, you motioned him to follow you in slightly swaying to the music. The song sang of two people who were attracted to each other and you couldn’t help but wished it was fitting for this context.

Believing that your attraction to Bucky was only one-sided, you took this chance to be able to ever have such intimacy with him. As you sang the song, you playfully made up such actions to the lyrics that came off flirtatious. You believed Bucky was playing along with you in the moment but that was where you thought wrong.

Listening to the lyrics of the song, Bucky’s ear turned red at what the song was about. Seeing how you were acting, he thought that you were just feeling out the song but Bucky felt otherwise. When the beat dropped, Bucky made a sudden move to pull closer by the waist.

Lowering his head nearer to yours, your breath hitched at the sudden turn of events. You didn’t think one dance with Bucky would turn out like this. One of your hands slid from the back of his to hold his jaw. Your thumb stroked his light beard and you realised your noses were almost brushing.

What was going on? Could Bucky also feel the same way or was he too caught up in the moment. Both of your hands slid down to smooth the lapels of his jacket before resting on his broad chest. Your eyes averted away due to the intensity of his brooding stare but Bucky took this chance to bring his hand to tilt your head back to face him straight on.

“Bucky-” Whispering his name to get his attention, you didn’t know the effect it had on him as his attention went to your lips tinted with a balm. Were your lips always this alluring? He suddenly really wanted a taste to find out.

Bucky slanted his head to an angle before lowering his lips. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you anticipated what was about to happen.

“Hey guys, Sharon got a lead!” Sam’s voice broke you out of your trance and you snapped your eyes open. Without looking at Bucky, you quickly turned to see Sam making his way through the crowd to find the two of you.

“Here!” You piped up before making quick steps to the man, leaving a bewildered and disappointed super-soldier behind. Sam pointed to you where Sharon was and when he turned back to see Bucky, he was confused as to why Bucky was staring at him like he wanted him dead.

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Nagel’s hideout was speculated to be amongst the shipping containers. Sharon warned you that the longer you stayed in Madripoor, the lesser chances you had of leaving with the bounty on all of you.

She passed you in-ear comms before giving you the container number. Before she walked away, you stopped her in her tracks.

“Would you be alright? I could come with you instead.” You added that the three men should be good on their own but Sharon insisted that she would be fine on her own. She wished you good luck before leaving you all.

As the four of you entered the container, you weren’t sure if you were in the right place. Zemo managed to find the handle of the door and looked back at all of you.

Sam and Bucky readied themselves with guns while you nervously fidgeted with your hands. As Bucky walked up to you, he gave you a longing stare but you quickly averted your eyes away.

Your mind was still reeling from what happened at the club last night and you couldn’t believe that things went that far. Was it real or was it just a dream? You shook your head to snap you out of your thought as you refocus on the mission at hand.

Sam and Bucky both took the lead while you were pacing side by side with Zemo. You looked to see him with a sudden solemn expression as you continued to make your way forward.

As the music started playing from a speaker somewhere, the sight that greeted you showed that the inside of this container was refurbished to be some sort of lab.

Venturing inwards, you saw a man who you presumed to be Dr Nagel. Zemo turned off the record player and Sam called for the doctor.

The doctor though frightened, was still relatively calm at the sight of all four of you in his supposed hidden lab. Despite the intrusion, Dr Nagel was indifferent and asked for everyone to leave. While he made his way, his feet stopped at the sight of Bucky.

Sam suggested he better speak of what he knew about the super-soldier serums but Nagel seemed defiant. He even asked for a counter-proposal to make him talk.

That’s when you heard Sharon speaking in the comms about approaching company. Time was pressing and you were frustrated at the doctor’s refusal to speak. Bucky took the rougher approach and immediately went to sit Nagel down while pointing a gun directly at his head.

You sighed in exasperation when Sharon spoke in your comms once more to inform you that every bounty hunter in Madripoor had known of your location and was coming to get all of you.

Nagel feared Bucky the most, knowing what he was actually capable of all. He began to share how he worked for HYDRA then the CIA. He managed to get his hands on an American test subject with semi-stable traces of the super-soldier serum.

You closed your eyes wearily as you knew who he was referring to. Nagel then went on to talk about how he managed to recreate the serum after much hard work and referred to himself as a god.

His project was paused when he was snapped. However, when he came back, he sought refuge here in Madripoor. The power broker was very eager to fund his work. He had made exactly twenty vials of the serum but they were all stolen by Karli Morgenthau.

He remarked that Karli had contacted him to seek help for someone, Donya Madani who was diagnosed with tuberculosis. This was definitely a clue to help you all step in the right direction.

“Y/N L/N.” The sudden call of your name had you meet eyes with Nagel. You didn’t expect him to look at you with a leering smile that managed to creep you out. All the men were curious why he had suddenly called for you.

“I read your leaked files. You are the only one of your kind. Perhaps, the only one who managed to surface from the shadows.” Nagel’s words only served to confused everyone before he continued.

“I am a believer of Science, but when there has been little research, you can’t help to turn to stories. You are human yet you are not. How on earth are you able to gain superpowers without any experimentation done on you?” You realised this was why Director Fury had you hidden all this while cause he knew that people like Nagel would love to get his hands on you.

“It would be an honour for me to able to find out what courses through your veins and make you so powerful. Perhaps, if I am able to provide such privileges to those who were willing to pay for it, I will be unstoppable.”

Talking like a mad man, you shook your head in disbelief at what he was implying. The fact he wanted to treat you like a test subject for his personal science project. Bucky clutched the gun in his hands harder while you went forward to grab Nagel’s collars.

Your hands glowed brightly, threatening to burn Nagel. He was a crossed between looking fearful and fascinated at the same time.

“You bastard-”

“Guys, we’re seriously out of time here!” Sharon busted through the doors right at this moment. Your hands on Nagel slackened as you turned towards Sharon. Before you knew it, a gunshot was fired and Sam had Zemo backed up to the wall.

Nagel fell flat on the floor with a bullet lodged right at where his heart would be.

The breaking of windows came before the flames burst through the room. Everyone went to hide from the blast while you stretched your hands to use your powers to subdue it. While the impact was reduced, everyone still fell back on the floor from the shock.

Bucky who managed to recover faster went to help everyone up and you pulled them to their feet. All of you managed to make your way to the exit.

Even in the smoke, you could make out the shadows of the bounty hunters who were preparing a shootout. Bucky tried to lead but Sam already went ahead. You rolled your eyes at the fact that they couldn’t work together for once.

All three of your friends started to fight back with the onslaught of people after your lives. As you faced your palms out on standby, Sam reminded you to not use your powers.

“Do we look like we have the privilege to do that now?” You retorted before sending blasts consecutively to know each hunter down like a domino.

As you knocked out each person, you could hear arguing at the back from Sam and Bucky. You had it and you shot a huge blast that reminiscing of a torch blower before you sharply turn back at the two bickering children.

“For the love of god, if you two don’t stop this, I will burn your tongues off.” You said it like you mean it before the two men zipped shut.

A sudden burst of flames took your attention next and you hold up your hands to build a barrier to protect your friends. All of your attention was directed to Zemo appearing out of nowhere and taking out people easily.

You all decided to escape from your hiding spot and find somewhere safe. Your group were met with a couple more bounty hunters which Bucky easily took care of. All of you retreated to a container before Bucky burst out of the other end.

Zemo came and pulled up with a car with a cheeky smile. Was this man the same one from before?

Sam gave him shit for pulling the stunt on Nagel and claimed that he would send him back to jail. However, Bucky intervened and reasoned that you all still needed Zemo to find Karli. Getting into the car before Sam, you were surprised to hear Sharon wouldn’t be joining you. She held Sam to the promise of a pardon and you stretched your hands to squeeze hers affectionately.

“Take care.” You bided her farewell before she did the same.

-------------------------//---------------------------

“You, okay?” Bucky checked in with Sam as he finally took a breather after making a call. You sat beside Bucky as he cleaned out the dirt and blood from his vibranium arm.

There was a lot to process from what happened in Madripoor. Learning about what Sharon had to go through and how Nagel was a mad scientist who did not have respect for human beings.

“Are you okay?” Bucky turned to you next. He was worried for you when he saw how you were with Nagel. Your rage was clear as day when you heard how the doctor spoke of you like you were some work of scientific wonder to be poked and prodded.

He could only imagine how upsetting it was for you like how it unsettled him to have you being talked about in that manner. You gave his vibranium hand a light squeeze before leaning your head on his shoulder for comfort.

“I will be okay.” You sighed before closing your eyes to rest. Bucky held your hands and laid them on his leg as he saw you trying to relax from all the events that had happened earlier. He decided to let you have your peace.

You could hear your boys started talking properly for once without arguing about Steve’s shield. It seemed like everything had been a mess. Sam went on to say that he should have it destroyed while Bucky countered that the shield was important to many people including himself.

He vowed to make sure he takes it back from Walker cause it sure plain as hell that he was not suited to be your new Captain. Sam managed to find out who Donya Madani was and informed that she had passed away.

Feeling the other end of the seat sinking, you figure Zemo had taken that spot. He remarked that he had a place that you all could go in regard to Donya’s last location and requested a change of course.

Bucky looked down to see you already laying still, probably getting a quick shut-eye. Catching Sam’s glance down at your tangled hands, Bucky looked away to seem apathetic where in reality, his heart was racing wildly as he hears the soft breathing that soon came out of your lips.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Tag list: @tanyaherondale @spookycereal-s @cataves @archaeoheart @conflicted-noxsirius

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 18

Hickies and Dinners

B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n and Bucky attempt to spend some time with the avengers

Warnings: swearing, implied smut, mentions of hickies, Steve being a complete dickhead

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

After another morning spent in bed; kissing, touching, fucking- you get the gist, we decided to head downstairs for a few hours to see the rest of the team. As much as I'd like to avoid Steve Tony and Peter, Bucky convinced me that I needed to spend time with someone that wasn't him, like Nat or Thor. So I agreed with a little bit of persuasion, if you'd like to call it that.

We walked through the corridors, neglecting to hold hands as we didn't want to boast or anything in case we came across steve - after all, we both still cared about him and I hated the broken look on his face when he'd seen us together. We chatted mindlessly, not really about anything until we reached the door to the common room.

Heading inside, I perched myself on a barstool by the breakfast bar that separated the living room area from the kitchen, whilst Bucky leant against the counter the other side - hands flat against the cool marble.

"Hey guys." Clint greeted from where him and Nat sat on the sofa a feet feet away, Nat reaching forward for the remote and turning down the show they were watching slightly.

"Hey." I smiled back, along with Bucky.

"I feel like we haven't seen you guys in ages," Nat chimed in, sinking back into the cushioned sofa with a little smirk. "Could it be a coincidence?" She said smugly. We hadn't officially become a couple, so Steve must've said something to the rest of the team.

It was that moment the steve and Peter walked in, Peter apparently trying to teach steve some kind of slang.

"Hey Stevie." Bucky said with a tight smile, nodding towards his best friend. Steve froze momentarily, before returning the tight smile.

"Hey Buck." He mumbled, before brushing last us and into the kitchen to grab a drink. The drone of the coffee machine filled the awkward silence until Peter stepped in.

"What's that?" Peter frowned at me, finger lifted and pointed towards my neck.

"What?" I asked, confused and glancing behind me to bucky, who simply shrugged but his sly smile told me otherwise.

"On your neck." Clint added, eyes squinted as they stared at my throat, Nat's attention bow drawn too. I gasped, promising myself to hit Bucky as hard as I could when we got back to my room later as my hand shot up to cover the deep purple bruise on my neck.

"It's nothing, just a burn." I dismissed quickly, glaring at Nat as she raised a brow.

"A burn? From what?" Peter persisted, folding his arms over his chest.

"My curling iron." I quickly waved off, fingering with the hem of my shirt.

"But your hair is straight." Nat inquired, and I gave her a look.

"What are we all hammering my daughter about?" Tony pondered aloud as he sauntered in, refusing to meet my eyes. I rolled mine, holding back a scoff. It was the first time I'd seen him since that night and I felt like a whole in my chest had been ripped open.

"Y/n has a hickey." Peter smirked, and Tony's eyes widened as he wheeled round to stare at me.

"Who the hell gave you a hickey?" Tony almost spat, knowing full well by that avoided gazes and awkward coughs that me and Steve still weren't on speaking terms. Bucky spotted a wolffish grin, holding back a chuckle and all attention was drawn to him. "Something funny, Barnes?" Tony asked, hands on his hips.

"I think we just found the curling iron." Nat smirked, bucky letting out his chuckle.

"Seriously Barnes?" Tony seethed, face almost as red as mine as he glared the super soldier down.

"Someone's in trouble." Clint sung, too smug to care about my embarrassment.

"Dad, it's nothing." I tried, but everyone seemed to forget what they were going to say when the door slammed shut.

"Did Steve just-?" Peter started.

"Leave? I think so." Nat said, all smirks diminished now as the tension rose.

"C'mon, doll." Bucky supplied with a smile smile, "how 'bout I take you out for lunch?" He offered, holding out his hand which I gladly took.

...

Dinner that night was...awkward, to say the least. Clint had insisted that Bucky and y/n join them all for dinner, minus Tony and Pepper as they were having a date night.

He'd convinced them by telling y/n that the whole team missed her and just wanted to see her happy, and that's what Bucky seemed to make her. Y/n had finally accepted with a long, begrudging sigh and told the marksman that they'd be down for seven.

That's how they'd found themselves where they were now, Bucky's arm secure around her waist as him and y/n walked their way down to dinner. They'd kept it simple, both still in sweats and y/n in a stolen t-shirt of Bucky's, with the super-soldier's hair pulled back into a low ponytail - a few wispy framing pieces fallen out around his soft face.

"It'll be fine, Doll." Bucky murmured in her ear as they exited the elevator, lips soft against her hair as he placed a quick, reassuring kiss there. Y/n huffed a sigh, giving her boyfriend a Curt nod before they were entering the kitchen.

"There they are!" Nat called, smile wide as she beckoned the couple over. But y/n stopped in her tracks as they rounded the corner, the sight of Steve cuddled up with some...blonde the other side of the table making her heart sink. Bucky sensed it immediately, ever so patient with her feelings, and tightened his grip on her waist, giving her a little squeeze before leading her to side at the opposite end of the table with Nat and Thor.

"Hey y/n, hey Sarge, how are you?" Nat greeted with a smile as they took a seat, y/n's eyes seemingly glued to the other end of the obnoxiously long table.

"F-fine." Y/n mumbled, completely disengaged. Nat and Bucky both sighed, Bucky putting on a boyish grin before replying himself.

"I'm good, thanks. Evening, Thor." The super soldier smiled, and Thor bid him a good evening too. The conversation seemed to flow for a moment, the three avengers exchanging pleasantries as y/n watched Steve. After a while bucky got fed up, deciding to do something about it himself.

"Hey Steve, who's the pretty girl?" Bucky smirked, calling out over y/n's head. Bruce and Steve looked their way, along with the blonde girl clinging to Steve.

"Oh, hey Buck." Steve said with a clearly forced smile. He looked down at the girl, placing his hand over her's on the table. "This is Sharon, an agent here." He introduced.

"Well it's lovely to meet you-"

"Now I'd love to know how you found a whore so quickly after dumping me." Y/n mused, elbow perched on the table as she sipped her drink. Steve's face dropped, and Sharon frowned.

"I'm sorry?" Her soft voice pondered, question in her tone.

"Oh, well since Steve only broke up with me a couple days ago, seemingly heartbroken, I was wondering where he found you." Y/n clarified, that Stark sass finally showing through. Awkward glances were exchanged.

"You must be y/n Stark. I've heard a lot about you." Sharon finally pieces together, met with a nod from y/n.

"Nothing good, I assume." She bit back.

"No, you're right. Just how you decided to fuck Steve's best friend." Sharon laughed without humour, both women completely unaware of their glowering boyfriend's behind them.

"So when did you met this one, hm? Was it while I was being tortured for weeks on end for information about you and your little club that I failed to tell them, huh?" Y/n asked almost mockingly, eyes locked on steve now. He cleared his throat, a shattered loom crossing his deep, blue eyes as he looked away.

"Doll-" Bucky started.

"You know, you might not believe this, but not everyone utilises their trauma because not everyone is like y/n Stark." Sharon clipped, voice chirpily snippy.

"Not everyone can be." Y/n cut back with a smile, fake as can be.

"That's Stark'a daughter, alright." Thor chuckled.

"That's my girl." Bucky smirked, giving y/n a chaste kiss when she turned to face him. Sharon rolled her eyes as she scoffed, turning back to Steve as they murmured quietly. Bucky looped his arm around y/n's shoulder, pulling her into his side and pressing a lingering kiss to her temple. Nat winked at her and Thor grinned boyishly.

"So how's the hickey, y/n?" Nat prompted, popping apiece of bread in her mouth. Y/n's eyes widened and Bucky smirked, as Nat had spoken extra loud so Sharon and Steve had looked over again.

"It's fine." Y/n mumbled quietly, pushing her food around her plate and resting her hand over her neck to hide the bruise. Bucky hated the dark, jealousy-clouded glare that Steve was shooting them - desperate for his best friend back.

All the tension was driving him mad. After years of not being able to see Steve, he fucked up their friendship the first night he was back. Well done Bucky, he thought with a glum puff of air.

Sparing a glance to Sharon and Steve, Bucky almost felt as if he was intruding as he looked on as Steve nipped and sucked at the girl's neck playfully, Sharon's flirtatious giggled wafting over. The super soldier barely realise how tight he was gripping his knife and fork until Thor snapped his fingers in front of Bucky's face, before repeating a question about how he was finding life in the Tower.

Bucky's jaw had been clenched so hard it nearly hurt, his eyes a deep blue that was filled with anger as he watched steve and Sharon. At least him and y/n were being subtle and not showing off, but what Steve was doing was clearly trying to get to y/n somehow, and it was working.

Her eyes were burning with a glare, jaw tensed and attention divided between the people in front of her and the sight the other end of the table. Bucky huffed out an exasperated sigh and leant back in his chair, stretching his arm over the top of y/n's head before resting it along the back of her seat, trying his hardest to focus on what Thor was saying now.

[voltagesmutter]

MLQC ALL x MC - Prostitution .

Pairing: Victor, Lucien, Kiro/Helios, Gavin, Shaw x MC (F).

Fandom: Mr Love Queen’s Choice.

Prompt:  Prostitution || Aphrodisiac || Impact play

Warning: Sex work, rough sex, breath-play, angst, protected sex, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, oral (male receiving). 

Spoilers for chapter 14 and up.

Thank you to @crystal13unny​, @marytheredqueen​ and @theinariakuma​ for being my beta’s.

She’d lost count how many months she’d been present in the winter world, a sacrifice to save the world had left her own shattered and broken. Those she loved with all her heart have forgotten her, no trace of existence of her anywhere and yet there she stood living and breathing.

Amongst the sea of familiar faces there was only one who knew her, one person who remembered her, a friendly face that she grew to love over time, Shaw. The younger brother of her one closest lovers, Gavin, the man who would protect her to the end. He bore the same eyes as Gavin, liquid amber that dazzled like pooling honey, glistening and pulling you in deeper into a sticky trap of self worth and love. Regardless of his boyish personality, his eyes were a home comfort giving some warmth to this bleak life. If it wasn’t for Shaw, the young woman wouldn't know how she’d survive this askew world.

In normal reality she was a producer, taking over her dad's company to bring new life to the show ‘Miracle Finder’. Proving time and time again her strength and ability to overcome obstacles and challenges that life threw at her. Only then, she had the help of her closest friends to guide her and keep on the right track, now she faced these new challenges alone. 

She’d grown close with four men she encountered daily, her life and theirs intertwined in bumpy paths, full of laughter, love and heartbreak. Each of them having a reason and purpose to be in her life, build up caring relationships and tender moments. 

Victor, LFG’s CEO, the man who funded her company, only in this reality LFG is now owned by HBS, only here he wasn’t her boss as she didn’t exist leaving her a stranger to him. The man who saved her over and over again, searching for almost 20 years of his life to find her, to finally be reunited. A romance sparking between them, love and admiration pouring from into another. A hole in Victor's cold heart that healed to finally have the woman he’d been searching for in his arms. 

Gavin, the young cop who’d fallen in love with her in high school. Proving time and time again he would be there for until, until the very end. Rekindled feelings of pining and love resurfaced as they grew close, everytime she was in danger it was Gavin who was there to save her. Finally plucking up the courage to kiss her, to love her, to claim her. The woman he’d loved since a boy was finally part his.

Lucien, he’d betrayed her the most and caused the most pain in her world. That characteristic scientist who took her on dates to the butterfly sanctuary, cared for the small children in the orphanage, moved in next door and would share meals with her in her home whilst he brought offerings of small plants which he tendered for. Only to have the mask of this persona broke, shattering the lie of reality in front of her as he perceived his true self, Ares. And whilst she was heartbroken by the betrayal of Lucien, she still found herself falling back into his arms on a regular basis, unable to resist his addictive touch. 

And finally Kiro… No longer stands the sunshine boy who’s smile would light up the world, the playful nation's sweetheart who was adored by all. But in giving up his past, his present and future self came forth, the icey-hearted Helios remaining. The flirty relationship from Kiro to Helios was lost in translation, whilst the physical attraction and sexual-activities still remained between her and him, the loving feelings were no more. But she was unable to keep away, craving the harsh touch partnered with the loving glances he’d give her when he thought she wasn’t looking. Neither able to keep apart, even under life-threatening situations.

Four beating hearts all chasing hers, fragments of them making up her own which she reciprocated to all them, each one holding a shard of it in their hands. She’d been unable to choose one man, each of them holding a place in her heart even if they’d broken it, the physical need outweighing the emotional side. They all knew of her relationships with each other, nothing defined allowing her to freely choose from each suitor per day. Not that she was cheap or easy, she just loved them all dearly and they all loved her back, knowing she would be unable to justify picking one of them.

Only in this world, her heart was still beating for them but the way they looked through her, like a stranger on a bus, sent her heart shattering to pieces with no-one but herself to piece it back together. When she slowly put it back together, another added to the situation, Shaw; the lavender haired boy managed to steal a piece and become the glue holding her heart together. An emotional vulnerability shared with him as he was the only one she should confine in.

She would do whatever it took to be a part of their worlds again, a part of her which slightly died inside to realise the only way to become close to them. To seek comfort and affection in a way that she could live like she had done before. A way to keep them placed in her heart, whilst they didn’t remember her. 

With no producing job to fall back on, relying off the kindness of Shaw who gave her a place to call home, her options ran thin. Deep inside she knew her choice was the only one, the only way to try to restore the physical intimacy of the men she once called hers.

Victor was the easiest to reach and seduce with her “services'', whilst he put a resistance on the outside, she could tell with the ways his purple eyes softened and a small smile twitched at the corner of his lips that he showed no means of protesting her offer. She found him in the gentlemen's club late one Friday night, sitting beside the open fireplace swirling  whisky in the cup of his hand. His jawline looked fiercer than ever as it was defined by the low light, the wonder in his gazeas his eyes fell upon her, radiance and confidence pulsing from her from head to toe. She knew him better than her own back hand, able to land in conversations and pieces on topics that pulled his attention, the way her breasts were pushed up in the burgundy little dress had captured his wandering eyes. “It’s merely business Victor,” The tumbler clinking from the sound of the ice hitting the glass, crossing her left leg over her right and leaning in, “There’s nothing wrong with mixing in… a little pleasure now and then.” Her calculated movements and words, the right amount of perfectly timed eye contact had him almost growling, heat rising across the tips of his collarbones and down his chest. They’d barely gotten into the backseat of his car, hidden in the underground car park as he took her there and then. The feeling of “we’ve done this before” cursing over Victor, having no recollection of who she was and yet feeling like he was reaching home each time he thrusted into her. Even though it was “their first time” it felt so familiar and so comforting to him; like a bubble bath on a cold day, leaving you blissfully content.

An arrangement was made between them, every thursday he would pick her up from a set location and take her to his. She silently wept the first time she entered, the nostalgic feeling of being home in a sense. The stacks of documents that lay placed on the coffee table, the array of tablets dotted from room to room, the perfectly placed random ornaments that lay upon the fireplace, nothing changing and making it hurt more as she was treated as a stranger in a place she had once called a second home. 

He treated her with nothing more than she was, a woman of the night, indulging in his own pleasure with the added bonus of hers. And whilst he didn’t kiss her, didn’t interlace his fingers through her hair or hand, only taking her from behind in a rough pace, it filled her purely. Too long had she gone without being pinned against the silk sheets, too long she’d been starved of his touch with nothing to quench it, too long without feeling his muscular body rocking against her nor the warmth of his palms upon her skin. His hands holding her petite waist pulling her back into his thrusts as he set an almost punishing pace, warmth and tightness eloping him over and over, luring him deeper until he was buried to the hilt. He didn’t say her name when he came, like he used to do, but she said his even if it was into the sheets below. By the time the condom was in the bin, they were both already dressed, no sense of lingering or loving after care they once shared. 

He’d offered to drive her home, but she simply left on her own accord, if she got her emotions involved she would run the risk of losing them before she had fully begun. She simply took the bus home, thighs still damp with her arousal and a warm fuzz on content buzzing around her body. A rolled stash of notes inside her handbag, a few bruising prints upon her waist being the only favour of remembrance of their night together. One quarter of her heart restored. 

Lucien was just as easy to lure, whilst he tried to intimidate her with his Ares persona, again she won him over. Posing as a student for one of his classes, capturing his eye the minute she walked in, “I’ve never seen you before, I would have noticed someone so beautiful in my class.” The chemistry was still there between him, Lucien's charismatic charms wooing her over within seconds, bantering as if they were old friends. Her confession of why she was really there, threw him a little at first but deeply intrigued him, practically unable to say no. He was unable to keep his hands off of her the minute they entered his apartment, the facade of Lucien fading to reveal Ares as his touches threatened to leave bruises on her skin. There was no intimacy, only teasing kisses on the corner of her lips or upon her cheek, reckless thrusts and touches which left her over-stimulated well into the early hours of the morning. A familiar hand snaking its way up her body to wrap around her throat, no signs of fear or being scared at the motion. It was his signature move in bed, nothing spurred on his pace than seeing her slightly gasping for air by methods of his hand. Of course in this and that world he’d never cause her harm, only enough to leave her panting and desperate for more. He fucked like Lucien used to nearer the end of their ‘relationship’, legs thrown over his shoulders as he gripped her ankles, her voice past the point of screaming as he brought her to what felt like a never ending streak of orgasms. 

By the end of their time together she was well and truly spent, feeling like she’d been fucked to an inch of her life. She’d spent the night in his bed, awaking to the familiar scent of fresh-tea being brewed. Many nights she had spent in his apartment, often falling asleep upon the plush sofa waiting for him to return back from a long night at the lab. How he’d wake her with gentle kisses and sighs of “Silly fool,” unable to hide the smile on his face as he effortlessly carried her to his bed. None of that resembled now, instead was minimum eye-contact as she left his apartment, an agreement of future encounters happening on friday nights after he finished lectures. She’d appear like clock-work at his 2 p.m. lesson, sitting with a delicate smile as she watched him for the next hour. Unable to stop the beam on her face to watch him captivate the room with a meer sentence, power pulsing from each word which he continued to show in their time as he ruthlessly fucked her the moment the class left. His sex drive still matching of her Luciens, taking her against his desk before continuing through the night in his apartment before parting ways the next morning. If he’d been particularly rough with her one night, she’d find a few extra notes stashed in her bag as if a compensation, even though he could see the glint in her that she enjoyed it.

The first day she left his and wandered past what was her apartment in her real world, the tears were unable to be held back, stinging and leaving her eyes red. The place she lived and had created her life in, the apartment with the bed that was kept warm with her four lovers now lay still with no-sign of existence upon it. A dainty hand pressed against the flat of the oak door, wishing and praying to a high power that she didn’t believe to bring her back to normality. But when she opened her eyes she was still in the barren, lifeless world. 

If Kiro still remained he would be easy to pursue, a flirting fan-girl who was obsessed with food, her favourite treat being him. Alas, it was Helios who was like finding a needle in a haystack. He would randomly appear, always questioning and always seeming like he knew more than he let on. She never found Helios, he found her instead. He didn’t care for a location, often taking her in the nearest place he could whether it be an alley, a cheap hotel or his van, he simply didn’t care as long her lips were wrapped around his cock or he was buried deep inside her cunt. He was rough with her, almost tormeting with his words when he mocked her for coming so fast as he pounded into her the wall, legs tightly around his waist as her hands fisted his silver hair. Unlike the others they didn’t set up an arrangement, he called her when he could and needed her which soon fell into a pattern on sundays or mondays well into the early hours after midnight, but she’d always be there and waiting for him. “Fuck you look so pretty with my cock shoved down your throat like that,”, “Thats it baby, take it all like the good slut you are,”, “Your so fucking tight and wet for me, I’ve barely touched you,” He’d mock, groaning to feel her clench over him at his words. She knew he never meant it, that he was only saying it to keep up his dark persona and that underneath it lay Kiro who would sometimes peak through. 

Tears leaked from her eyes the first time it happened, able to play them off as tears of pleasure but she knew Helios wasn’t dumb and was able to see there was behind them but dared not to question it. She was riding him in the back of his car, hands gripping on to his shoulders as she bounced in his lap, his lips meeting the crook of her neck just like Kiro’s use to kissing in a specific trail down to her breasts. A tight roll of her hips that would always be Kiro’s undoing proved to also be Helios’s, a high-pitched almost sing of, “I’m gonna cum” replicated in the exact way Kiro used to let the whole building know he was reaching climax. The second time was when he had her spread out on a hotel bed, his tongue lapping at her clit as she withered from the sensation. “My favourite treat,” he hummed, two hands holding beneath her ass to keep her close to his mouth as he devoured her, his actions and words screaming Kiro. The final time broke her completely, to the point Shaw had to come pick her up from the hotel because she fled crying. He’d fucked her to the point she was on the verge of passing out, letting her rest on the bed as he slowly cradled her from the side stroking her hair. Helios not realising she was still very much awake and could hear the soft humming of one of the song’s Kiro used to sing to her when she was frightened. Memories and pain flooded back, her slowly healing heart feeling like it was being broken once more, physically torn from her body as he hummed soft notes so gently against her ear. No torture could come close to this, a man she had so deeply loved, who left her one before to become Helios, who she finally managed to become a part of his life; only for the winter-world to once again rip him from her hold and replace the softness he had slowly opened up to her with an icy-heart. It was like a cruel twist of fate, finally being back in Helios’s arms only for Kiro to re-emerge at times making the harshness of this reality slap her in the face.

Helios would always ensure she got home safe, even if she didn’t realise it. Stalking from behind to find her apartment, waiting beside her bedroom window until he knew she was asleep, creeping in to leave the money beside her bed with a green candy on top. One time he lingered too much and almost got caught by Shaw, his smokey scent still loitering in the room as Shaw burst in after hearing footsteps. 

Then finally was Gavin… Sweet, sweet Gavin who had loved her since high school, the man who rushed home after missions to hold her in his arms, to kiss her with a passion that wouldn’t die. Only for him to look at her like she is nothing more than a speck of dust in this world. Getting into his life was a struggle, it took time and adjustment but slowly she worked her way into it. Their first encounter was when he pinned her to the wall, a side of Gavin that only came out when he was either a. Jealous or b. Angry, and in this case he was angry. From then she didn’t see him for weeks on end, she tried to figure out where he would go, using her old memories of him to find him. But none of it worked, everywhere she went, Gavin wasn’t there. That was until she went to a hotpot restaurant, one Gavin took her to on their first date and just like fate there he was… Sat hunched over a bowl of fresh ramen, his usual spice level that made your eyes water, was Gavin alone slurping noodles. Gone was the friendly persona, the best friend of Minor, instead was Gavin who kept himself isolated from the world. It took a few weeks of ‘accidental bump ins’ at the restaurant every Tuesday until Gavin finally spoke to her, the first real human interaction he had with someone who wasn’t on his force team for almost a year. A kindling friendship slowly built up over the following weeks, she knew Gavin and that he wouldn’t just succumbto her like the others, he needed to feel something towards her before anything would happen. And just as it started, it threatened to be destroyed completely. 

He followed her home one evening, ensuring to keep a few good paces behind before watching her dive into an alleyway where a van he instantly recognised was parked. Helios. It was obvious to Gavin what was happening, the way the van rocked as he waited outside in the blistering cold until she re-emerged back out with her hair a-skew and skin flushed. “G-gavin!” Her eyes widened with horror as Helios came out with a smirk, a roll of notes in his hand that he pushed into her coat pocket, winking at Gavin before getting back in the van. Her heart felt like it could stop, all this time she’d tried to make her way back into his life, it could all be undone in the blink of an eye. But all Gavin said was, “Can I see you next Tuesday?”. 

She wore baby-blue lingerie beneath a silk nightie, hidden beneath the depth of her warm coat as he took her back to his apartment. No longer homely or filled with joyous memories of them, instead barren and empty with little resemblance of anyone even living there. She thought he would be gentle, like in the beginning stages of their relationship but the way he roughly took her against the wall, pounding her until she was nothing more than screaming his name as her knees buckled, the neighbours slamming on the wall for the disturbance. It reminded her that this wasn't Gavin who loved her. This was the Gavin who just wanted to fuck her. All the emotions he was unable to convey were translated into his actions, thrusting his fingers into her til she was begging for him to fuck her, for his cock to fill over and over until she could no longer walk. Everything she thought she knew about Gavin and what he liked was flipped in this world, no more savouring kisses shared in the morning as they basked in the sunlight, no more blushing on his cheeks as she kissed down his body to wrap her lips around his cock, no more soft, panting groans to her ear as he came. Instead he bent her over every surface he could, fingers either gripping her waist, circling her clit or pushing into her mouth until she gagged over them, his cock pushed to the back of her throat as he smirked lowly to see her choke repeatedly over, only low humming groans as he came, always pulling out, throwing off the condom and spurting release onto her thighs or face. 

There were moments of tender times, when her Gavin would fall through the cracks, one’s that gave her hope that maybe normality of her real-life before could come back. She had worn white instead of the blue, Gavin in awe of it upon her skin as he touched her so gently, fearing if he pressed too hard she would break. White was the colour she had worn with him their first time together in her world, a vision of purity as he gave her his first time, saving himself for the woman he had loved since a boy. He’d taken great care of her that night, not even considering his own pleasure until he’d made her sing like a sweet angel, his own piece of heaven upon earth as she sank down onto his cock. Slow burning with no desire to rush, touching every inch of her body as his hands freely roamed her skin whilst she leisurely rocked in his lap. What came after brought her to tears.

“Just… just take this, all of it, please,” A large sum of rolled up money being pushed into her hands, “You don’t need to do this anymore.” He felt wrong in himself to hand her the money after a boarderlining intimate time together. How was she so beautiful and innocent like the silk she had worn... Him forgetting she didn’t belong to him. “Gavin we’ve spoken about this… please it’s not that simple,” Taking the notes he owed, placing the rest back down onto his bed wear he lay. The sheets still warm, his skin still having a layer of sweat mixed with her delicate scent. Standing, baring herself to him and the affectionate markings of his love, reaching for the clothes that lay so perfectly placed on the floor. “Take care okay, I’ll see you soon.” She whispered so softly it almost didn’t register in his head. Dressing, she pulled her coat around her to shield her from the outside weather. If not for the soft kiss of her lips upon his forehead, the divine smell of her lotion still upon his pillow and the glimpse of coat as she left, Gavin could have believed she was a figurative angel in his head.  

As days rolled into weeks, weeks rolled into months, the snow came down heavier as did the weight of reality. Her body was sore, her muscles ached and a stash of money that was enough to provide her with more than a good life living for the next years sat hidden beneath her bed. But she never spent it, it was never her desire for the money, it was always about just being with them.

“You can stop this, it doesn’t have to be this way,” His finger softly curving around her wrists, his attempt to be gentle as she looked at him. Her night free from the others, a night she dedicated to Shaw instead who found himself utterly weak for her too. She was thinner than before, her face looked tired, both emotionally and physically drained without her usual makeup on. “I love them, if this is the only way I can with them, why wouldn’t I?” Her fingers gently tugged from his grasp as he freed her from his grip. “Besides, you're paying me for something else, not to sit here and talk, Shaw.” Pushing herself off the worn-sofa and onto the floor, sinking herself onto her knees between his legs as she undid his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers until his cock was free. She handled him until he was hard, the words he had started stopped as he threw his head back to feel her lips wrap around him. Setting a steady pace, with a deep groan he came down the back of her throat, he never lasted long when it came to her.

Living together, sharing a new life together as she told memories to him of her life before, her life with the others and how wonderful it had been. They became each other’s support, he pushed harder at university whilst she went off to ‘work’. He made it clear he didn’t agree with what she was doing, but that never stopped him from burying his cock in her when he could. The first time was a drunken mistake on both of their parts, but as time went on and feelings grew, so did their intimate times. 

“No… No not tonight,” He whispered with a strain as she straddled him, she looked too exhausted to continue and Shaw just wanted to let her rest, “Here,”. He took his wallet out but she wrapped a hand around his wrist to stop him, ‘There’s no need’.

“But you make them pay, why never me?,” He quizzed as her head rested against his shoulder, a question he wanted to ask her since their first time. 

“I make them pay because I have too, otherwise I wouldn’t.” Her voice wavering as Shaw slowly wrapped his arms around her to hold her. A motion none of the others did. Clutching to one and other, two lost souls in the dark world of nothing as they found themselves thankful to have found each other. Leaning back she pressed her lips to his, over the course of time they’d still managed to keep their softness. They embraced as he kissed her back before lifting in his arms like she weighed nothing and carried her to his room. Spending the night together as lovers would do, rather than the role she played. It was like tasting stardust, fragments of heaven upon them both from their intimacy, tending to each other as if no-one else in the world existed but them. 

Morning came too quickly, strands of lavender hair stuck to Shaw’s forehead as he groaned to see her rising from his bed. He nuzzled his head into the warmth of where she had been lying, inhaling her scent as best as he could. The evidence of their night together had dried onto the sheets, the heavy scent of sex still in the air.

“Don’t go,” He yawned, reaching fingers to her and missing her by just an inch.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll see you when I’m home,” She whispered, mimicking the actions of his brother to him as she pressed a kiss to forehead. 

“But.. last night I-” Shaw struggles to find the words as he watches her pull on her negligee from the night before.

“Last night doesn’t change anything Shaw, they need me,” She headed towards the door, an innocent smile graced her face as she looked over her shoulder, “And I need them.”

Kinktober masterlist here.

[emilyoftheshadows]

Are we going to ignore the inhaling of narcotic drugs going on in the corner?

 Enjoy some more angsty rowaelon vibes! This drabble is more intense than my other two pieces and probably the most angst I have ever written.

TW: depression, drug/alcohol abuse, death, gun violence

~~~~~

Aelin looked good tonight. No, correction, she looked fucking hot. The dress hugged her thin figure, the hot pink color sure to make her stand out in any crowd. With her loosely curled hair running down her back and a disguise of makeup to cover the darkening circles under her eyes, Aelin was ready to face the crowds.

  The most rambunctious groups came out Friday night. The clubs become filled with young drinkers like Aelin, ready to let loose after a long week. Not that it mattered what day of the week it was anymore. Aelin could barely keep track as it was. Between last night's drunken adventures and the shroom endeavors the night before, time blurred together. 

 Her apathy for her life was at an all time high, and Aelin couldn't find it in herself to give two fucks about her safety. No, she was out for a good time, even if the cost was a high price. She wanted more good times, more distractions, more haziness, more everything. Want was too weak of a word...Aelin needed these distractions in her life. Because if she took the time to re-evaluate her life circumstances, she would crumble beyond repair. 

 So instead of feeling the emptiness of reality, Aelin decided to live in the fullness of fantasy. With her intentions in mind, she turned to Dorian with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. He smiled back with drunken enthusiasm, already 4 shots in due to his notorious pre-gaming. Yes, even events he attended involving the consumption of more alcohol still required this ritual. Ever since Aelin had dived into her partying streak, Dorian had been stuck to her side. While they were not dating by any means, he was a good fuck buddy and a great party companion. With the same wild side as herself, they had a partnership that benefited them both. 

 Tonight, they walked into The Vaults, instantly greeted by the smell of sweat and liquor. The club was grimy at best with an even grosser owner, but they sold pints by the dollar and had a tendency to skip id checks. For this exact reason, Vaults was filled to the brim with patrons creating a chaotic image. Arms pumped up in tandem with the bass, bodies bumped into one another as people found the rhythm of the music; partners danced on each other, lost to the world around them. Aelin saw it all and became fascinated by the scene in front of her. She craved the anonymity that came with jumping into a random crowd. Aelin reveled in the thought of losing herself tonight, just  like she had every night since he was ripped from her life.

 Dorian released Aelin of her trance, pulling her to the expansive bar on the side of the room. Waving down the attention of the bartender, Dorian yelled over the sounds of the club.

 "Ace, what are you feeling tonight? Shots, beer, cosmos, you fucking name it. Everything's on me tonight!" Oh yeah, it was an added benefit that Dorian had money to burn. His father did something or other, Aelin couldn't remember. It wasn't pertinent to her, therefore she couldn't care less. But because of his fathers funds, and Dorian’s unlimited access to said funds, Aelin didn't have to pay for a thing when they went out. 

 "Surprise me!" With that said, Dorian turned towards the bartender ordering god knows what. Aelin took this time to check her phone, noting the date. June 9 2021, 365 days after she had lost her greatest love. The reason she needed to drown her sorrows with booze and bodies. Because the day Sam had died had been the last time Aelin truly knew who she was anymore.

 With a margarita set in her hand, Aelin tucked her phone back into her pocket determined to take back control of her thoughts, and continued to lead Dorian into the depths of the club.  As much as she hated to admit it, Aelin frequented Vaults on a weekly basis. The club attracted a crowd she usually didn’t interact with in her day to day life, creating a safe space where Aelin could go as wild as she wanted. The seating area they now stood in contained multiple clusters of partygoers, some more distracted than others. It was then that Dorian took a certain interest in one group over the others. 

With a hefty laugh, Dorian commented, “Are we going to ignore the inhaling of narcotic drugs going on in the corner?” 

 Aelin couldn’t help but join in his laughter, because as she turned her head to the left, she saw a girl arranging lines of white powder on the table in the middle of a much larger group. 

 “You know what, you are absolutely right Dorian! How could we ever miss an opportunity for a nice high?” Aelin could barely hear her own words over the noise, but noticed the glimmer of mischief reflected in Dorian’s eyes as well. She took that as a sign, moving closer to the group until she was in the center of the cluster with Dorian stuck at her side. With a raised eyebrow, Aelin gestured with her eyes to the powder and back up to the girl organizing the substance. Her hair was white as snow, piercings dotted along her ears and face.  She glanced up at Aelin, the girl's pupils already blown out and bloodshot. With a lazy smile she handed Aelin a card to line up her own serving. 

 Three lines later, Aelin was feeling more awake than ever. Her heart felt like it was skipping a beat, her nerves were on edge and her emotions were heightened. She looked over, glad to see Dorian was enjoying his time with the white-haired girl. But Aelin was done lounging around. No, she needed to move with the crowd in the center of the club. With her eyes locked on the floor, Aelin stumbled her way into the group of dancers, easily moving to the beats of the music. As she spun in circles, whipping her head around,  a flash of silver hair caught her eye. Many eccentric characters liked clubbing at Vaults, so it wasn’t unusual to see colorful hair, odd piercings, or questionable life choices. But, Aelin had a feeling that this character would be worth the search once found.  She finished her rotation and gained her bearings. Her eyes focused after a few moments, immediately setting out to find the topple of silver hair she had only seen moments ago. With a cursory glance, Aelin couldn’t find her target and quickly resigned in her search. There were many more people and many more ways to distract herself tonight.

 Aelin started to move her hips to the lull of the music once more, raising her arms up, reaching for her lost lover in the sky. She felt the haziness of the drugs and alcohol overcome her senses, finally enjoying the night's events. Men and women surrounded her, Aelin’s own sweat mixing with others around. Arms became entangled, hips grinded against a partner, and lips kissed in sync with the swaying of movement. 

 As Aelin became a part of it all, she imagined Sam was dancing with her…... as a boyish face appeared right in front of her, his usual outfit sculpting his body just right : a button down shirt with rolled up sleeves and a pair of nice jeans matched with one of  his many shoe choices. His arms wrapped around her waist, Aelin’s right resting on his shoulder, her left hand entwined in his tousled brown. She looked into his beautiful eyes, finding the light she loved to see shining back at her. Aelin felt her mood lighten, finding comfort in the arms of her love that she had missed for such a long time. God, she had missed this feeling, this unexplainable comfort she felt in his presence. Sam twirled Aelin around herself, his arms coming to wrap around her middle, his hands- grabbed her hips from behind. 

 Aelin came to her senses, shoved back into reality. Rough hands pulled her back into a tall, muscular frame. The mysterious man behind her had a pungent odor, wafts of his smell acting like a tether to her more sober self. Aelin turned to catch a glimpse of the man, only to see Arobynn Hamel himself. The man was almost twice her age, not to mention the owner of The Vaults, and a notorious man whore with a keen liking for younger girls.

  Aelin immediately became uncomfortable. There was too much going on. Between the lights of the club, the music’s heavy bass, and the unwanted sensation of the man behind her, she was ready to get out. She maneuvered herself out of his grasp, turning around and making a drinking motion with her hand. Instead of accepting her departure, Arobynn grabbed her by the waist and crashed their bodies together. Now encircled in his arms, Aelin truly had no escape. Her mind was on overdrive, her body kicking into flight or fight mode. Arobynn’s hands wandered down to her ass and up the length of her body. 

 He continued to grope her assets with unnecessary fervor, never loosening his grip on her body. Aelin tried shoving the man away, only to be greeted by an ugly smile and a beady pair of grey eyes. Fear kept Aelin in her place, the man staring back at her only more encouraged by her lack of willingness. As they danced, Aelin frantically looked around for help. Anyone who could help her get out of this situation now. Her vision was blurred with tears, her eyes barely able to distinguish anything around her. Then, like magic, Dorian finally appeared and yanked  Aelin out of her partner's arms. 

 "You motherfucker what the hell are you doing??" Dorian was enraged at Arobynn's actions, his bloodshot eyes bulging out of his head as he yelled each word. 

 "Well, before you so rudely stole my partner, we were having a really good time dancing with one another." Arobynn's eyes wandered to her at that comment, his misguided intentions clear as day.

 "A good time?? Huh? A good time when the girl you're dancing with is crying because she can't stand your very existence? Yeah that sounds fucking wonderful to me!" Maybe it was the powder they had both inhaled earlier, but Dorian was more aggressive than usual. Without missing a beat, he swung at Arobynn and clocked him dead smack in the face. 

 Arobynn was caught by surprise, losing his balance as he teetered backwards from the hit. Blood dripped from his nose profusely, a bruise forming beneath his eye. Arobynn looked back at the man who had caused this pain, and snarled in anger. 

 As he ran to Dorian, tackling him to the ground, all Aelin could do was stand there frozen in time. She heard screaming, maybe her own, as the men fought on the floor. There was so much noise around her, the sound of fists connecting with bone, the music still blaring in her ears. There was so much blood --- so much blood around her, on her, on him. Aelin sat on the floor, her phone beside her as the paramedic updated her on the ambulances location. But she couldn't listen, no, she was too busy watching the man she loved disappear right before her eyes. Sam's body was pale, the gaping gunshot wound in his abdomen leaking too much blood too fast. Aelin cradled his head as he struggled to breath, soothing him with little sayings and comforting noises. Her tears fell on his face as she kissed him, not able to let him go. He needed to be okay, he needed to respond to her sayings, he needed to tell her he loved her, he needed to survive. But as Aelin looked into those brown eyes, there was no light left within them anymore. Aelin couldn't help the sobs that escaped her. Her body wracked violently as --- she was shoved by the fighting men. 

 Arobynn and Dorian were battered and bruised, the men equal in build and skill. They were breathing hard, looking at one another with hate etched in their features. Then all of a sudden, Arobynn lunged at Dorian unexpectedly, leading him to swerve right into Aelin as she --- fell to the floor. Her head hit the blue sofa they had bought only a week ago, their apartment a new venture they had bought together. They had spent hours setting up their new home, hours of that work now destroyed as their apartment was wrecked beyond repair. Sam was in front of her in an instant, his body taking the impact of the shot meant for her. Blood splattered on her body, and Sam's fell to the ground with a thud. Aelin looked up from her position in the ground to see a hooded figure dash out their front door, backpack open and filled with their precious items. Aelin didn't even care about her missing jewelry, only worried about her love splayed out on the floor , blood pooling around his frame. She heard screaming, screaming coming from --- a beautiful red haired woman approaching the duo. She pulled Arobynn's arm, dragging him away from the other bloodied man on the floor. 

 Dorian was in bad shape, his face swollen with cuts and scratches dotted all along his arms and legs. All Aelin wanted to do was go to Dorian's side and help him, but as she looked at his splayed body she lost all her intentions. All she could see was her love on that floor. All she could see was Sam's blood draining from his body.

 Aelin felt lightheaded, the events of the night, combined with the various substances in her body exhausting her beyond belief. She walked away from Dorian to go find a place to sit, slowly losing reality once again. As she fainted, Aelin saw a tall tanned man rushing towards her. His sharp features contrasted the soft concern on his face and in those emerald green eyes. Aelin hit the floor with a soft thud, watching the man attached to that luscious silver hair run to her rescue. 

[wendimydarling]

Can’t Help Falling in Love with You (Sight)

Title: Can’t Help Falling in Love

Summary: Sight | Scent | Sound | Touch | Taste

Pairing: Henry x First Person Reader

Word Count: 665

A/N: I am attempting the senses challenge that @viking-raider​ just completed not too long ago. Find her work here! I’m doing it a little differently, each snippet will add a new filter to the same scene instead of lengthening the scene, if that makes sense. I live for comments, let me know your favorite part!

~~~~~~~~ Sight ~~~~~~~~

Warm sunlight, shining gently in tiny spotlights through the cracks in the leaves above us, flickered as a breeze blew through the branches. As I looked up at the scenery, I couldn’t help but compare it to twinkling starlight. Soft, golden, luminous starlight. The amber hue mixed perfectly with the translucent green of the leaves, illuminating the entire area in a beautiful, hazy glow. I wondered if we were actually in heaven. The old patchwork quilt we were stretched out on had long since lost its stiffness. Being on my stomach, a book in hand, I could see that some of the string had been pulled in places, making it lose its intricate threading pattern a bit.

He lay to my left on his back, holding his own book over his head in one hand to read it. His brunette locks, damp from our swim in the lake, were beginning to curl on the top of his head. I studied the lines of his face, memorizing every detail. The sharp bridge of his nose stuccoed with freckles; the way his scruff grew less thick where his cheeks meet his jaw. The two dignified wrinkles in his brow he always complained about that never went away, no matter how relaxed his face was. The soft pink color of his lips, and the tiny dark spot directly centered below the dip of his upper lip. Everything about his face was symmetrical, except for my favorite feature: his eyes.

A layman on the street would call them blue, but I knew better. When he was happy, his eyes were as blue as the sky on a summer day, and when he was angry they would darken, like the ocean when a storm was brewing. On sad days they changed completely, a gray hue cooling their tone. When he looked at me with love, they always softened, and became the color of cornflowers. With lust, they transformed into the part of fire that burns hottest. 

A ring of brown spots circled the pupil of his right eye, but his left eye is what captured me the most. It has the most gorgeous mutation I’ve ever seen, cinnamon and salt air blending together to form a dazzling nebula of pigment. It was as if someone had taken paint and splashed it over his iris; a perfect pie slice of sky cut into the mellow spice, and two pinpricks of chocolate graced his limbal ring on the right. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

My eyes trailed down the length of his neck, taking in the rich olive tone of his complexion. He always grew so tan in the summer. I travel further, taking in the statuesque figure of his naked torso. The man is stunning. Every line, every muscle has been carefully sculpted for a purpose, and each one tells the story of the hard work put into its creation. His broad chest is covered in a smattering of dark hair that journeys down to his hips, skipping his ribcage. A few large freckles are spattered on his abdominals, each one covering a secret place that makes him squirm every time I kiss it. His swim trunks ride low, and the crests of his hip bones jut out proudly. 

The sinews in his bicep and shoulder flex as he lifts his arm, and I watch his long fingers as he gracefully hooks the page under his thumb before flipping it. The veins in his arm become more prominent the longer his arm is in the air, rising up from his skin like a ridge of mountains on a topographical map. His head turns and he catches me staring. He gives me that grin, that charming, boyish smirk that holds me captive every time it appears, and I lean over to kiss him before returning to the well-worn pages of my leatherbound book. His arm falls, hand landing on the small of my back, and I decide that yes, we are indeed in heaven.

~~~~~~~~

Fan Club: @littlefreya​ @sciapod​ @thiccgeralt​ @fucking-hell-cavill​ @brexrif​ @peakygroupie​ @viking-raider​ @constip8merm8​ @daniig95​ @elinalfrida​ @hell1129-blog​ @oddsnendsfanfics​ @agniavateira​ @dearlybelovedluke​ @sofiebstar​ @wanderinglunarnights​ @mary-ann84​ @onceiwasanun​ @luclittlepond​ @thekingstachemademedoit​ @onceiwasanun​ @iloveyouyen​ @lestersglitterglue​

[hypmic-writings]

Congrats on 2 years!!🎉🎉🎉o(〃＾▽＾〃)o .Can i request a gentaro x F!Reader soulmate AU? I really Love your work! Keep doing what you do!! (And/or love lol)

I definitely love doing this blog so no worries there! Thank you for requesting this! This started as one thing and quickly became a whole different thing so I really hope it makes sense. Soulmate!AU with Gentaro is amazing because I feel like he would be really into it. Honestly the hardest part was the date/times and trying to make sure the math was correct haha Hope this was what you wanted~

Word Count: 4,086 

Genre: Angst/Fluff; Soulmate!AU, Female!Reader

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Everyone in the world had a soulmate marker.

Some had their first words of their soulmate inscribed on their skin. Some could sense their soulmates emotions, while others had distinctive, colorful markings that matched their soulmates. Some had compasses that could tell them the direction their soulmate was in while others simply had a number or word that was supposed to hold enough significance to dictate their lives.

Soulmates could be romantic, platonic, or anything in between. All it meant was an intensely strong bond between two people.

You simply had a timer on the back of your wrist where most people would fasten a watch. It was barely noticeable against the flesh of your skin, matching to the skin tone almost perfectly, but just one shade off so that you could read it. You had asked your family and friends if they could see it, but apparently it was not visible to anyone but yourself.

--

10:03:15:22:39:04

9 years, 7 months, 15 days, 22 hours, 39 minutes, 4 seconds.

That was how much time was left on your wrist when you first entered middle school at age 15.

You remembered frowning in annoyance, mad that you would have to wait an entire 9 years before meeting your soulmate. It was infuriating to say the least, especially as a young girl who would often daydream about your Prince Charming that would one day come to sweep you off your feet.

It had always been easy for you to make friends, and high school was no exception. You quickly joined clubs that interested you, meeting new people and working hard.

You met Gentaro Yumeno in literature club when you joined in your first year and quickly became close friends with him. He was handsome, there was no doubt about it, but more than that – he intrigued you. Always able to create intense, captivating storylines, Gentaro was always the first to have the most creative ideas on what to read, write, and discuss. You would spend hours together pouring over novels and literature and it was clear that you both held a passion for it.

He was playful and charming to everyone around him, but it was so blatantly clear to you that it was all just surface level. He was so much more complex than anyone gave him credit for, and it drove you mad.

All you wanted to do was talk to him for hours and hours about everything and anything. You wanted to know more about him in every sense of the word. What he liked. What he disliked. What made him happy or mad or sad or exhilarated.  

One day, when you and Gentaro had just started your second year, you were eating lunch together on the roof when he asked you a question.

“Y/N,” he had said, his voice soft and happy. “What’s your soulmate marker?”

The question seemed to come out of nowhere and you found yourself pausing for a moment before scooting closer to him and rolling up your sleeve to point at your wrist.

“It’s this. I know you can’t see it but it’s a watch that’s counting down the time until I meet my soulmate,” you explained. Gentaro’s eyes lit up as he took your wrist excitedly in his hands.

“I can see it too! Amazing!” he exclaimed, smiling widely. Your eyes grew twice their size as you gaped at him in shock.

“Wait, what?! Really!?” you shouted, beginning to feel excited. Gentaro chuckled lightly and let go of your wrist to shrug a little.

“Hehe, that was just a lie though,” he said with a boyish laugh. You quickly deadpanned before whining about how mean he always was to you. He simply nodded and apologized, taking your words as they rolled off his back. You resumed eating for a moment before frowning.

“Wait, what’s your soulmate mark?” you asked, suddenly curious. Gentaro dramatically put his hand to his forehead and the other to his heart

“I know nothing but the date of death of my soulmate! It’s a horrible knowledge to have but I alone must bear it!”

“…Gentaro…”

“Well, that was just a lie~”

--

05:11:02:07:49:22

5 years, 11 months, 2 days, 7 hours, 49 minutes, 22 seconds.

You glanced at your wrist briefly as you fixed your graduation dress. It was colder than most winters and you shivered as you quickly grabbed your coat, hugging yourself closely.

“Are your parents going to meet us there?” Gentaro asked, walking back into the living room. You nodded and gave him a smile.

“Yea, it’s just a little family get-together, so nothing big,” you stated, casually. “Thanks for coming though! There’ll be a few other people there so I’m sure you’ll know someone else,” you added, fixing the bracelet your were fumbling with to your wrist. You felt Gentaro’s eyes on you and you turned to face him with a confused smile. His gaze was unreadable and it made you slightly nervous.

“What?” you asked, laughing lightly. Gentaro shot you a warm smile and shook his head.

“It’s nothing. You just look very pretty, Y/N,” he said, his eyes softening into a sincere look that was so rare it was almost foreign to you. You felt your heart jump at his words and you immediately looked away for fear of betraying your emotions.

“T-thank you,” you said, feeling warmth blossom in your chest.

You found yourself pausing for a moment and wondering if this was the time to confess. You were both alone, but you were going to your graduation party together. If you confessed and he didn’t accept, would that make things awkward? You weren’t going to the same college and you didn’t know how often you would see him again, if ever.

The thought of never seeing Gentaro again sent a sharp pain to your chest and you instinctively brought a hand to your heart.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” Gentaro asked, his voice pulling you from your thoughts.

That’s right. He was still with you for now. And if the next few weeks were the last weeks you would have together, then you would make the most of them. You would spend as much time with him as possible and be as close to him as possible.

“Gentaro…” you managed, stepping a bit closer to him. “There’s…something I need to tell you…” you said, beginning to feel nervous. The confidence you built up moments ago was already beginning to fade as you felt your heart beat in your chest.

“Oh? Is this a confession?” Gentaro suddenly said. You shot your eyes up to him and felt the heat burn on your face as you took a step back.

“What!? Hey! Don’t just say things like that so casually! I was trying to be honest!” you shouted, embarrassment flooding your body as you crossed your arms around your chest tightly. “You ruined the moment…” you mumbled, trailing off as Gentaro’s light laugh filled the room. You were about to yell at him to stop when he spoke up.

“Y/N,” he said, bringing your attention back to him. “I’ve liked you ever since I first met you in literature club Freshman year, you know. You were so cute, even back then, it was hard for me to not have feelings for you.”

Gentaro’s sudden confession made your heart stop and your brain froze for a moment as you processed his words. He had feelings for you as well…and he had held them for just as long as you had.

“Why…” you whispered. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” you whined. “We could have spent more time together if you had!”

“Oh, but you didn’t say anything either so it’s not just my fault, right?” Gentaro said with his head tilted slightly and a hand on his chin. You sighed heavily and nodded at his words; he wasn’t wrong.

“Yea, I know…” you said, hesitantly. There was a brief pause as you composed your thoughts. “But…I do really like you, Gentaro,” you insisted, feeling the nerves come back as you spoke your true feelings. “I know that we might not have much time left together, but I guess I just wanted to be honest with you.”

Gentaro hummed at your words and you watched as he took your hand in his own. He gave you another sincere smile and you felt almost dizzy at the way he looked at you in that moment. His other hand brought itself to your chin and you let him brush your cheeks with his fingers before he slowly brought his lips down onto your own.

You stayed like that for a moment before you both pulled away, cheeks slightly flushed with smiles on both of your wet lips. You squeezed his hand gently before laughing nervously and looking away. The heat rising in your body was burning and you wanted nothing more than to stay with him for longer.

“That was…” you started, biting your lip. “…nice,” you finished, unable to articulate just how special that one touch of lips made you feel. You were sure Gentaro had better words, but he simply smiled and nodded, brushing your hair with a finger before pulling away.

“Yes. That was rather nice,” he said, laughing lightly as he walked past you towards the front door. Your eyes followed him with anticipation as he opened the door, the cold wind already blowing into the room. He held it open and reached out an arm towards you, willing you to take it and follow him outside.

“My lady,” he said, dramatically with a smile. A grin lifted your lips as you curtsied dramatically and took his hand with a laugh.

“My lord.”

--

02:07:17:09:58:16

2 years, 7 months, 17 days, 9 hours, 58 minutes, 16 seconds.

It had been a few years since high school and you laughed when you thought back to how you were worried you might not ever see Gentaro again. In fact, it had been quite the opposite. As soon as graduation was completed, you texted each other even more. You were always telling him about your day and all the things going on in your life and he kept you updated as well.

You often met for coffee or drinks, laughing about the past and making plans to meet up to do different things. It got to the point that you were spending so much time at his apartment, he eventually suggested you move in as his roommate. The idea of splitting rent and saving money appealed heavily to both of you, and although you went to separate colleges, you had no problem commuting. Especially since you were on track to graduate early.

“Surprise! Isn’t it great?” you said, marveling at your self-proclaimed masterpiece of a birthday cake. Gentaro laughed and nodded, putting an arm around your shoulder.

“It looks delicious, Y/N,” he said, fondly. “Thank you.” He turned to you and suddenly pressed a kiss to the top of your head before releasing you from his hold to grab some plates. You felt your breath catch at the action and your smile wavered a bit before you plastered it back on, offering to grab the forks.

You weren’t exactly sure what your relationship with Gentaro was.

You were living together, of course, but it wasn’t romantically. You would call each other pet names sometimes, but it was only ever playful. Sometimes you had mental breakdowns with the stress of school and you would cry in his arms until falling asleep with him, but that’s what friends did, right?

Kissing…was also something friends did…right?

“Gentaro,” you asked, watching him closely as he popped another piece of cake happily into his mouth. He glanced over at you with a frown immediately coming to his face and you wondered just how well he knew you that he was able to hear the change in your voice so quickly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly. He had glanced over at you with a frown immediately coming to his face and you wondered just how well he knew you that he was able to hear the change in your voice so quickly.  

You gulped a little and licked your lips. Was now really the best time to do this? It was his birthday after all. Maybe it would be better to wait until later on a day not meant for celebration.

“Y-you…!” you suddenly said, trying to think of a different topic. You glanced down at your wrist and saw your timer. “You never told me! That day on the roof in high school….you never told me what your soul mark was!” you exclaimed. You silently praised yourself for being such a quick thinker before turning to Gentaro with a feigned pout.

Gentaro’s eyes widened for a moment before he broke into a smile.

“Why are you suddenly bringing that up?” he asked, laughing lightly. You frowned, suddenly very interested in the topic.

“Why do you keep avoiding it?” you ask. “Every time I bring it up, you either tell me some crazy story or a blatant lie!” you added, crossing your arms at him expectantly. Gentaro brought a hand to the back of his neck and chuckled nervously.

“Ah, you’re acting scary, Y/N,” he stated, backing up slowly from you. You held his gaze for a moment before sighing and shaking your head. It had always been something you had wondered about, but you knew how intimate the details of soulmates could be so you had never inquired into it too much.

You had to remind yourself once again that the man standing across from you was not your soulmate.

There was someone else. Someone you hadn’t met yet. It was a thought you always had, constantly berating yourself for getting too close when your destiny was different. You and Gentaro were never meant to be together, but saying it out loud would make it all too real, so you never voiced your concerns to him. The thought that had brought you so much pleasure and excitement as a child suddenly made you feel nauseous.

“Y/N?” Gentaro asked, his voice now laced with concern. “You look sick, are you okay?” he asked, bringing a hand to your shoulder. You quickly moved away, not wanting him to touch you for fear that you would say something you would regret. You gave him a weak smile and nodded.

“I’m sorry,” you said, quickly, gulping hard. “I’m fine, let’s watch a movie, okay?” you stated, quickly changing the subject as you turned to put your empty plate into the sink.

What you couldn’t see was Gentaro’s gaze lingering on your back, his hand still outstretched to you.

--

00:04:03:17:59:02

0 years, 4 months, 3 days, 17 hours, 59 minutes, 2 seconds.

“It’s way too hot,” you groaned, letting the cold air of the fridge cool you down as much as possible. You heard a chuckle from behind you as arms wrapped themselves around your waist. You whined at the touch and shuffled away from your boyfriend, sneaking closer to the fridge.

“No cuddles. Too hot,” you stated, bluntly.

Gentaro chuckled and pressed his lips to your cheek.

“You’re being mean, love,” he said, standing up slowly to go to the sink for water. You shook your head and stared into the now empty fridge, wondering if there was any way in the world you could possibly fit inside of it. You wiped sweat away from your forehead and as you did, noticed the shine of your soulmate timer. You glanced down at it with a sigh to see that you only had a few months left to go.

It didn’t make any sense. You were the happiest you had ever been in your life.

You and Gentaro had been dating for almost year now and it was everything you could have possibly wanted. It was nerve-wrecking at first with awkward words and touches from your end, but somehow Gentaro always knew exactly what to say and what to do.

He had an impeccable sense of your desires and seemed to know what you needed before you did yourself. When you had a bad day, you would come home to dinner waiting for you. When you had good news, he would somehow have brought home dessert ‘just because he felt like it’.

He was your hand to hold when you were nervous and your rock when you were scared. He was your best friend and the man you held so many feelings for, that if you thought about them too much, you were convinced you would explode.

So, what was this silly timer? Who was this other person that was supposedly going to come in and sweep you away from the man you truly believed you loved? How could there be anyone else that made you feel as safe and happy as Gentaro did?

“I got these for you,” Gentaro said, sitting down next to you and handing you a cold drink. You blinked at it for a moment before looking at him in confusion.

“Did you get these just now?” you asked, wondering how long you had been spacing out for. Gentaro laughed and shook his head.

“No, silly,” he said, tapping your forehead gently and teasing you. “I put them in the freezer a while ago because I knew it would be cold and that you would want some.”

You stared down at the can in his hand and took it from him with a pout, shooing his hand away from your face.

“Stop making it sound like I’m so needy,” you muttered, causing Gentaro to laugh once more and lean over to kiss your nose.

“You are needy,” he teased, dodging your hand as you reached out to smack him, but lost the energy to do so. “But you’re also a gorgeous, stunning maiden whose kindness and strength knows no bounds.”

You glanced at him with confusion at his words and saw his look melt into one of dramatic reverence as he looked off into the distance. You rolled your eyes but smiled as you leaned into his shoulder.

“Stop it,” you whined in a low voice, exhausted from the summer heat. Gentaro hummed and rested his head against yours.

“Never,”

--

00:00:00:00:05:46

0 years, 0 months, 0 days, 0 hours, 5 minutes, 46 seconds.

“Let me go,” you said, your voice low and breaking. You had one hand on the door handle and were staring down at your timer that was rapidly ticking down.

“Please,” Gentaro begged, tightened his grasp on your arm. “Please don’t leave, Y/N.”

His voice was shaking and you could feel the hurt and pain lacing each of his words. You felt the guilt punch you in the stomach, knowing that you were entirely to blame for this.

You were so confused and you didn’t know what to do. With less than five minutes left, you knew you had to leave the apartment. It didn’t matter how cold it was outside, you had to be somewhere you could meet someone.

How would your soulmate find you if you were locked up in your house?

“You don’t understand, Gentaro,” you hurriedly hissed at him, pulling his hand away from your arm. “I need to find out who my soulmate is! I need to know, I can’t not know!”

The room was spinning now. Everything hurt and nothing made sense. Were you supposed to be here? Where else were you supposed to go? Would they find you here? Were you still breathing?

“But it’s your soulmate! It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend or a lover or anything else; it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do, right?!” Gentaro pleaded, reading your mind once more as his voice cracked from the pain he was obviously in. “They’ll find you wherever you are so please, don’t leave, Y/N!” he begged once more, tears beginning to build in his eyes. “Just stay.”

You could barely see him through the haze of water in your own eyes, but you acutely felt your heart break in your chest at his words. Your head felt like it was about to burst with thoughts racing desperately, any one of them hoping to connect.

Why were you hurting him like this?

“If I stay here, nothing will happen. Don’t you get that?” you cried in desperation. “I’ll never know my soulmate and then - ”

“What? You’ll be stuck with me for the rest of your life? Is that it?” Gentaro asked as a tear rolled down his cheek. You bit back a sob as you shook your head violently.

“No, of course not, that’s not it at all! I just…I need to find…” you tried to look for the right words to convey how you felt, but your mind was jumbled and time was running out.

“You don’t need to find anyone else!” Gentaro shouted, causing you to shoot your gaze towards him in shock. He rarely ever raised his voice and hearing him do so only made the sob from your mouth and tears from your eyes feel that much more pathetic.

“Gentaro, I have to – ”

“You don’t have to do anything! Because nobody else will ever feel the way I feel about you, Y/N!” he cried, bringing his hands to your shoulders and holding you tightly. You looked up at him through tear filled eyes and shook your head in confusion and frustration.

“I don’t know what – ”

“Because I love you!”

As soon as the words left his mouth, it was as though time stood still.

The room seemed to disappear around you and in that moment it was only you and Gentaro, sobbing into each other’s arms. The silence was deafening, but was quickly filled by the sound of your rapidly beating heart. The burning in your chest reminded you to breathe and as soon as you gasped, which came out as a sob, it was like you had been dropped back down to reality.

You were clinging to Gentaro’s chest now and he had his arms wrapped around you so tightly you felt like you would break. You were both crying hard, tears soaking every surface that came into contact with your face. You tried to speak but your voice was caught in your throat, only letting out guttural sounds and desperate cries as you held onto Gentaro for dear life.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” you cried into his chest, shaking in his arms. Gentaro’s hair fell into your face, tickling your cheeks as you felt him shake his head.

“I should be the one who’s sorry,” he muttered, his voice light and barely audible. “I’ve loved you for so long. I should have known you were my soulmate right from the start.”

You bowed your head as you hesitantly brought your wrist up to your gaze, staring down at the zeroes.  

He was right – it had always been him.

It was never a countdown to meet the love of your life.

It was merely a countdown until the moment your soulmate proclaimed their love for you.

--

00:00:00:00:00:00

0 years, 0 months, 0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds.

“It’s going to be terrifying.”

“It’s going to be amazing,” Gentaro corrected you, pulling you into his arms and kissing you firmly on the lips. You shook your head at his antics, pushing him away as you turned back to the multiple cakes laid out in front of you.

“You like the chocolate one, don’t you? Number 3?” Gentaro said. You nodded, reaching out to your plate to grab some frosting with your finger before bringing it to your mouth.

“How do you always know exactly what I’m thinking?” you asked, humming happily.

“What can I say? My fiancée has good taste,” he hummed, tapping your nose with his frosting covered finger. You squealed in delight but whined his name as you hurriedly wiped your face.

You reveled in the sweet sound of Gentaro’s laughter as he wrapped his hands around your stomach from behind, pressing another kiss to your cheek. You leaned back into him and let him kiss you lovingly, a smile playing on your lips.

“I love you so much,” he whispered into your neck. You glanced down at him and nodded, lifting his head up by placing a finger under his chin so that his face was level with yours.

“I love you too, my wonderful soulmate.”

--

A/N: Y/N’s soulmate tracker was a countdown was a timer until her soulmate proclaimed their love to her. Gentaro’s soulmate tracker was that he was empathically linked to Y/N.

[lawrising-a]

( continued from here! // @pseudoneiric )

there's a sore sensation nestling against the sensitive skin of his wrist -- not rubbed raw, exactly, considering his tie is too silky to achieve such a feat ( and he, desperately, tried to move as little as possible ) but it still stings. a chiding reminder of what he allowed to happen not even minutes ago. yellow wrapped around him, completely bound and helpless ... it was something he can't say he's done before, not like that. he thinks the correct term would be bondage, but was it? gloved hands sinking beneath layers of flesh to expose the fluttering organs beneath, and expose her own in turn. call him crazy, but that's not what he thought bondage was about. but when was anything with lilian it's textbook definition? he can't blame anyone for his display of vulnerability except himself, completely ensnared with the girl the moment they crossed paths. there were times he watered down his attraction, for both their sakes, blaming her allure for his enchantment. yet lies come clean eventually and here he now perches. the edge of his mused bed, chest rising and falling more then it should as he burns with the black markings drifted upon his ivory skin. lipstick marks painting him in a light he's not used to. he's been stripped of all his warm tones and fake boy scout personas ; left in cool colors. green pants and black marks.

‘and what are you ... the sun?’ whispered a voice earlier, like every hushed word was a secret reserved between the two of them. mat rolls his shoulders, because he doesn't feel that way anymore. never has, honestly. he wants to be beaming lights with a killer gravitational pull, but he ... isn't. the colors on him now is a striking reminder of that : yet he replays lilian's maddening words and fools himself briefly. it's okay to believe lies when she's the one feeding them! as long as she believes it, why can't he humor it? everything she said had been a warped view, a funhouse mirror at those shifty carnivals -- but it was raw honesty from lilian, and he can't turn away the swell of attention. even if he should, even if mat should waltz into the bathroom where she's currently shrouding herself away and spill out the truth. let her know he isn't some angelic force but rather a mockery of one. how matthew naively hopes he can be hers regardless of his lack of good ... it's dizzying, causing his vision to blur, because it's been a while since he's confronted this about himself. the student doesn't like it. but oh, he loves her -- a burning sensation that lights his veins aflame and races his heart.

distractingly, he presses the pad of his rough thumb against the mark on the corner of his lips. a replica of a kiss she once bestowed upon him like salvation itself ( hm, what's with the spur of religious imagery today? hah ). trying to prod away the disappointment that rises every time he feels the wishful want of her actual lips there instead. she has to -- she has to feel something for him at this point, right? that can't be an assumption anymore, can it? questions whirl around as his fingers ghost down his ruined skin, tracing over the words left with his own hands like confirmation. like he's silently saying 'yes, property of lilian eyler.' like he's finally allowing himself a love he thought he wouldn't ever have when he traces, ‘mine. mine. mine-’ that ends with him working his way back up, away from the bulge of his stomach and trembling arms -- away from 'poetry, life, religion' and back to his lips. where he's reminded, with a fuzzy feeling balling up in his chest, 'mine.' almost pushing hard enough to slip a finger through his pink lips, plush and ready for ... mat isn't sure. he just wants her to kiss him there. though he knows she won't, least not today. and even if there's this sickening greed that controls him with a talent, he lets her have that. lets her take all her time in the bathroom and tries not to beg for more. how did she elegantly put in, in all her poetic prose that he's seen briefly in the club? a loyal dog? just for you now, only ever for you, lili--

a shiver rocks his form, startling his hands to the edge of the bed to tear into as he digs his heels into the carpet ( like he once had in the bed, to ground himself, to not buck ). was his pulse racing with the life she declared to adore so much? the man sinks canines into his cheek to hold back from beckoning her out to check. no, no ; he said he'd leave her be. it's a good thing for them both right now. if she had stayed and let the fabric obscuring his view fall from his eyes, he would've reached for her. try to pull them close and he'd ramble like a mad man ... wouldn't he have scared her? some part of him thinks he still has. which wobbles his posture in order to keep his head bowed, like awaiting punishment. almost waiting for pain building in his scalp, because surely she'd card her delicate laced fingers through his hair with a bit more force if she came back out. or was that his gentle throb of arousal wanting that? she got him worked up so easily ; ah, well, at least it's a good exercise for his thinning self control ...

a sigh, shaky and human, whistles out of parted lips. dry due to the fact he can't lick them thanks to the lipstick, though he can't help but wonder if he did -- would he be licking lilian's lips that way? the material touched them ... realizing how wild he is, a thoroughly teased animal, matthew laughs nervously. jesus christ, there's parts of him strewn all around his bedroom, because there's no way mat is fully put together. his brain feels like soupy liquid dripping from his ears and hissing into his scarlet skin. a puzzle of a man that lilian expertly took apart and left half completed. no matter how hard he tries to reel himself in, chase away all the sweetened morbidness delivered, he can't find all the pieces. surely, the clever girl took some with her to the bathroom. she was ... possessive. mat learned that just now. possessive over him, envious of basic things that matthew almost couldn't believe. she'll never know how comforting it was to see. a feeling now nestled happily within because nobody's been possessive of him before! she mustn't of gotten the memo from former friends, didn't hear how expendable he was to everyone who's known him. people don't get jealous for matthew, they don't care how much he sleeps, they don't care if he isolates away -- and they certainly don't care if his eyes linger on a girl with purple hair.

because who would find him special? he's an emotional wreck everyone stays weary of, a boy to eye with skepticism. his jealousy, his rawness, his obsessive love and need is wrong and ugly. you're shunned for those things by society. to the world, mat is anything but special, he's wrong ; so wrong and he's relentlessly tried to change that. but lilian ... she thinks otherwise. feels like he feels. sensitive and lovesick. and while he's always tried to hide before, if the girl with inky hair thinks it's beautiful and radiant ... everyone else must be wrong, because lilian eyler never is! as clever as the devil and twice as pretty, so the saying goes. with a rueful smile, too boyish and gentle for his own sharp face, he thinks it's an accurate fit for his favorite person ever. his throbbing molten core of earth, the darkened reflective surface of his beloved moon.

“im excited about lunch tomorrow, you know?” calls mat, voice as rough as ever ; like he uses it too much. but during this whole date, he fears he hasn't used it enough. “i haven't eaten with another person in a while. i usually just grab an apple and loiter around the library.” did you think i ate with yuri? though the fawn haired male doesn't ask, he quickly kills that assumption if it festered in lilian's mind. “if it goes well, we could ... ah, why don't we eat together from then on? maybe everyday? maybe forever! i think it'd be ... nice.”

the last part is so quiet he's not sure she hears it, but maybe she hears it die off. senses his shyness that bares him like it's her own. matthew doesn't want to dwell in it, so he tries to push forward. telling himself to keep tearing down the walls until there's nothing left ( the bathroom walls or his own? ). she deserves to hear more then his sputters from their little session, brought on by gutting arousal and his own jittery sparks : she deserves the world on an obsidian platter. to know he does want to be owned by her, to understand he'd be so comfortable displaying that label for all to see. and for lilian to be told, sternly, that he'd choose her out of a line up with certainty most would be scared of. love isn't half way for him, ever, and lilian needs to know that. even if his heart thunders and he wants to hear more of her disarming voice instead.

“and i want to be yours ; your idea with the whole 'blindly leading me around' wasn't half bad!” heartfelt chuckling makes him feel like he's vibrating out of his skin, her skin now, isn't it? “i'd let you blind me, i'd let you led me even if i was deaf and mute. you could be all my senses, because maybe then i'd trust them more. you don't know how much i wish these words on me were permanent, lilian --” mat twists his mouth, ruins his hair more. “darling, you just ... i've tried so hard to be normal this year, more then any other, yet you make me so helpless! it's ... how do you do that? do you know how special you are, how beautiful? perfect ... well, perhaps not that ; because you're stupid for worrying about not owning me. isn't it obvious you already do? were these reminders for me, or wishes for you?"

( eyes flutter to words he can barely read on his bared parts, words overlapping due to frenzy. all true. all true )

with a tightening throat, emotions rising like waves and god he could just drown, matthew lays back on the mattress. meekly pulling the tie out from under him, only to drag it over his used wrists. picturing only her. wondering if this sight would entice her to keep going when she comes out. and he wants to say lilian, you've won! congratulations on having a lover for life! or, something like : yuri couldn't pry me from your cold dead fingers! but what stumbles out is something foolish that he immediately grimaces over. hopefully she's too shaken to judge him too much.

“i think you're my soulmate, lilian. i .. really do.” so why would i ever let you go? or deem you unworthy? it's me, im unworthy. not you, never never -- his lashes tickle his skin when he shuts his eyes. breath hitching before evening out. reminding himself to calm down because matthew thinks he'll actually explode otherwise. a bundle of nerves, of her love, is all he really is.