#no one gets tagged in this mess i dont even want to do that
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Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭
my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨
#snap chats#cant a man be a lil hostile and naked in his home ... 'his' home ... w/e ...#this is the part where i reward tag readers CONTEXT TIME#i mean. it's not crazy context but anyway#erik went for a swim and As You Do went to shower off once he was done. cant have chlorine in the hair.... gon damage his beautiful locks..#he was shavin in the shower when he hears someone come in so Naturally he assumes the worst as this is Xavier's School For Gifted Youngster#never a moment of peace not even to shower and shave ..#'whyd he go for a swim' I Dont Know he really just decides on that. maybe it was a complex way to give him a weapon#maybe they just wanted to draw him naked and in a speedo I Dont Know 2x sounds like something id do frankly#the context is pretty much isolated from the story- like it's more of a scene starter and reintroduces tom and sharon into the plot#CONTEXT: tom and sharon are Effectively erik's coworkers at the school who caught one of emma's students- empath- acting a fool on site#empath- as it may be assumed- has the ability to mess with people's emotions and so. how we say.#'had tom and sharon distract each other' for a few hours while he fucked around the mansion and more specifically#fucked with erik's emotions to make him depressed enough to give up the new mutants to emma#Hence the mansion was virtually empty bar danielle and warlock which probably didnt help make erik Less paranoid of sudden noises#hence .... razorblade combat time ... but yeah once he realizes its just tom and sharon he's like Oh Fuck The Hell Happened#and then he gets super pissed once he realizes empath kinda tricked him into giving up his kids 🥰#god i love this issue i really do .. cant wait til next month where i can read what happens next ..#'snap you have the internet' OK AND I LIKE MY PHYSICAL MEDIA. plus i like this arc so far i want a physical of it ...#but yeah thats why eriks naked and prepared to cut someone with a razor. you can learn more in The New Mutants number 39 :]
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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one piece is crazy fr like what do you mean you’re following up Everyone’s Dead™️ with Objectifying Women: The Arc™️
#bruh :/#im bout to vent cause im mad about it rn sorry#op fans there are many good elements to your series outside of this and i love u sorry im about to talk shit about it#pls abandon ship now and stop reading my tags to avoid if you want#anyway#once i put a certain amount of time into something i usually commit to finishing it#but this arc is like 👌 this close to making me abandon the whole series like wtf is this#i know i KNOW sexist shit is like practically unavoidable in anime but this is a LOT jesus christ#i want to punch a WALL#like wtf do you think women ARE#i want to attack and kill#everyone who has ever told me that naruto is worse than one piece about women owes me 500 dollars rn#like it’s BAD and i would have been mad about this either way#but i think im extra salty because ive had SO many people praise one piece women at me#and i was like doubtful cause ya know LOOK at them#but i LISTENED because everyone was so insistent the women are good and it’s not bad with that kinda thing#which was a BETRAYAL because seriously wtf is this����#ughhhhh i CANT watch this HOW am i supposed to watch this#why do i have to watch the creepy island of women cluelessly mess with unconscious mans dick trope i canttttttttt#the answer is i DONT have to watch it and i want to STOP#how are yall watching this i still havent even forgiven thriller barks invisible man nami bath scene#like yall i canttttttttt#my ‘fiction that treats women like shit’ tolerance is too low for this#ughhh really at a loss here because so much time already committed and i was enjoying it aside from this#but i really CANNOT keep watching if the bar gets any lower and idk if it even CAN get lower#sorry sorry okay vent over this just#REALLY pissed me off#cause it kinda blindsided me i think
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scrolling back through my liveblogging of the day of the nyc concert because of recent notifications and its such a fun mixed bag of emotions to relive it all again
#helloooooo pineapple in my notes i do not mind the likes and reblogs <3#but it was such a crazy day that day of the show. so much happened#i also didn't remember that the day before the concert is when my bus got messed up and was taking me back to ny#and i had to get a car service home and everything#and then there was the concert the next day!#and what i had done was worked monday. took all of tuesday off for the concert. got like maybe 4 hour of sleep if that#and then went back to work wednesday. stupid#it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk#other remembrances of the day:#my biggest regret is getting all worked up abt my stupid letter that never got to them anyway like jeez. obviously i still enjoyed the show#but still. OH and i missed out on getting the latte pinback buttons#not the biggest deal but i did want those. i was just awkwardly standing around before the nyc show#and the merch line was always super long anyway#what else. oh i wish i could have met those of you that were there. but next time! im cooler now so next time.#the show itself was crazyyyy. again so fun and surreal#one of the tags on my original review was something along the lines of me having not been this excited since i was a kid#and it was really like that. like it really was that absolute pure overjoyed excitement that i haven't felt for a long time#i felt the same at the hollywood bowl. just having so much fun (missing it now lol 🥲)#cant remember if i mentioned this before but when i was standing outside the stage door i saw both spike lee and adam driver leave backstage#adam driver is Tall. i didnt even recognize him at first fdhgkgkg#anyway. some thoughts almost a year later wow!
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working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do
#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me#like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that#and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already#bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back#and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess#but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise#and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help#and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out#and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao#and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw#like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way#and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt#and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years#to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad#she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it#long ass tag story sorry
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no funny little thoughts today. have this instead,,,,,, mtt fighting shshahsgahagsgaa CHOKES ok i lied maybe i DO have funny little thoughts below where the reference is :3
this is SUCH a cool composition shot i had to draw something based off it (ignoring the erm. the flashing,,,,, this game came out like 10 years ago just ignore that)
anyways triglycercule what are your thoughts??? funny you asked triglycercule allow me to illuminate :3 so ive been remembering that one ask from like 3 or 4 months ago where i answered like well i like to consider the trio to just have met one day and then decided oh hey we should like totally explore the multiverse together (my excuse to draw them in any possible situation possible (mtt at an amusement park when) (soon (probably not))) and recently i was like WAIT i could probably like totally find a way for them to meet because just saying they met (is a totally valid use of my creator powers BUT) is uncreative and vague,,,,,
so i was like damn. how COULD i get them to meet 🧐🧐🧐 so i was like ok so dust beats human. done and done. but like bros BOUND to get bored. like if he gets bored from not having the human to kill then he's gonna seek out SOME other form of entertainment. so dust is like ok how about i work on some old ancient machines i made b4 to pass the time and one of these ends up being like a universal traveler thingy. and to his own surprise he actually MANAGES to get it done???? (i totally didnt steal this idea from myself,,,,, whaaat youre saying there's another triglycercule dust that came up with a universe hopper machine??? NO (sorry mania))
and oops instead of staying in dusttale like he intended dust accidentally gets chucked into horrortale (bro just wanted the sense of accomplishment not to thrown into some random world.) and then cue like horror and him meeting and its all tense and confusing and then horror paps comes around and hes like OMG ⁉️TWO BROTHERS ‼️‼️ and then invites dust over for a nice sweet little bowl of human spaghetti. unfortunately for dust the little teleporter device is no longer connected to dusttale's core (because hes not IN dusttale) so he just kinda has to suck it up and deal with it until he can find a portable power source
dust's not trying to get KILLED out here so he asks horror (who sadly cannot push dust into blue snow because paps is very enthusiastic about his appearance) where he can find like batteries or something. and horror makes some off hand comment about like power sources and his eye being in the core and how theres like no power and oh why did dust immediately start listening once horror mentioned his eye,,,,,, dusts not gonna rip horror's eye out (he has no reason 2 if theres a perfectly good 1 @ the core!) so he tells horror what he needs the power source for and then hes like i can help you get food for your buddies if you help me help you. ok? ok
and then they sneak into the core to get the eye and oops dust didnt you learn your lesson last time!! the little teleporter thingy brings them to another world AGAIN (and now horror's PISSED because this wasn't in their little deal) and guess where is is,,,,, you already know its something new. and i guess to make things uncomplicated this is a something new where killer already killed his chara but he hasn't tried to reset the world and kill himself (and therefore attract nightmare) yet (he's getting there!)
not like they think the au is anything other than just a wasteland because there is literally like nobody around but they stumble into killer and it doesn't even take like more than a minute before a fight breaks out (i probably need to think more about what happened and why they started fighting but knowing the trio its BOUND to happen) and lowkey killer is getting his ass beat what the hell??? he has never experienced a fight where he's been on the losing end in a long ass time & mindgames arent working because they keep seeing through his shit??? (because horror and dust somehow even though they barely know each other and horror's pissed @ dust have like craaaazy synergy and coordination & killer hasnt faught them ever before + yk yk inner turmoil at seeing other versions of yourself) so he gets annoyed and pulls out the blaster to end it
dust and horror don't DIE outright (not like they would be able to tank killer's blaster) because killer decided to be like hey these guys are new and cool and interesting. i should keep them around instead of killing them off and see how much i can play around with them :3 so he just blasts them until theyre at like 0.0000000000000001 HP :3333 and then idk thats it 4 now,,,,,, i think this is silly and fun and cool and i can imagine it in my head and OH NO THE VOICES (make a comic) THEYRE GETTING LOUDER (you should draw this) NO WAIT MY MOTIVATION (coooomic would be a perfect medium for this) im sorry inner voices i cant,,,,,,,
#i could probably push the perspective to its extreme if i did it on my ipad#make the gaster blaster bigger...... give killer a cooler pose........#but im lazy i dont feel like transferring this 1 2 digital and therefore it gets stuck on paper with no further edits#anyways this is soooo cute this is so them in my eyes. yeah this would happen#triglycercule HATES cementing things in place for the mtt (because my flexibility will be GONE!!!!)#but fortunately this is only 1 interpretation of them!!! thank god!!!! im not limited to this 24/7#i like the idea that horror' immortality is now like stuck in dust's device that they use to multiverse hop#like a part of his life is quite literally dependent on the device being intact#but also it powers the device which is like..... woaaaaah double meaning or something#it's dust's device powered by horror's eye but killer's the one that knows how to handle it best#they all get to do team collaboration with the teleporter!!! yay!!!!!!!#back on th immortality thing (i mean hes not REALLY immortal but still)#horror technically could just stay behind in horrortale and let dust an killer fuck around#because maybe killer would come along with dust if he knew what dust made#but he doesn't (because it sucks balls in horrortale and he's GUIIIILTY) but also because like. its just a good tradeoff#horrortale gets the food and support he wants to give them so the suffering can end#and horror doesn't have to be plagued with his boredom and stuck in a place he both traumatized and is traumatized by#its a win win!!! besides like sightseeing is a good enough tradeoff for hanging out w dust and killer#and dust still gets to revisit dusttale once in a while JUUUST to make sure the human didnt somehow come back#and even if he did now they get to reenact the murder time trio fight against dust's human w horror n killer!!!!!!!!#OH SHIT I JUST NOTICED DUSTS LEFT HAND IS BACKWARDS FUCK#NOOOOOO I MESSED UP......... AAAAAAA...!!!!!! too l8 to change it now...... (lazy)#ahahaaaaaaa i love this version of the mtt so much. its like KINDA canon compliant but also has a triglycercule flourish to it#AND NO NIGHTMARE IN SIGHT!!! YES!!!!!!!!#this killer seeing another version of him where he didnt have dust and horror to find him first#and being like damn. i could've ended up like that. i could've ended up serving someone else...... its a bit of an uncomfortable feeling#so off he goes to bother dust and horror again! gained an ever so slight appreciation for not being in that situation I GUESS idk#i snickered giving killer the chara smiley face to simplify his face gooooodddddddd#this feels naught of needing to be tagged. anyways i THINK this could be a hc idk....... headcanon it is!#tricule hc
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Been binging some new frogger vids at the moment (i heard 6v6 is coming back soon and am sadly getting hyped) and I had a horrifying realization about two of the characters in the series. behold my madness and weep at my lack of knowledge on both troll quadrants and character interactions. I'm not a fishmonger, I wouldn't know that stuff.
#the rot has gotten worse. this is just evident of it.#I caught myself saying gog today. it might be infecting my lexicon and fake swears like how when i got into 40k I picked up ork lingo and->#now use it unironically in my day to day. Don't like swearing but i like the challenge of having something similar.#and get this. this morning I thought to do troll cosplay.#?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 1: i dont even do halloween anymore? 2:I hate body paint/makeup/nailpolish/other junk you put on your flesh. just grosses m#out and gives me shivers just thinking about it. eugh.. 3:who in the warp would i even cosplay? Terezi? How would I even explain that???#yes hello family. I am breaking my halloween costume absence of several years now to cosplay as a random alien girl from an obscure ->#internet webcomic. Do not think about The Implications™ of that one bit. Don't know what i'm doing in this costume as i am too old for tric#or treating so you have even less to ponder about as I walk around the empty house as a random girl character covered in grey paint while#you all are at various halloween parties. This is normal [NAME-REDACTED] behavior and of no cause of concern or interest#luckily the it passed quickly but still. oi vey how long would it even take to get to that point? you homestuck gits know because I don't#ugh almost forgot i gotta do actual tags. don't want this to be too much of a ->#midnight brainrot#(heh see what i did there)#frogger#kismesis#overwatch#I do NOT pity the people coming across this mess while browsing the overwatch tag for some reason
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Vent post. Because i feel like kicking a hornets' nest.
Honestly im just tired of how people will call someone ignorant/uneducated and will go for the throat for every little thing, while they themselves say shit like pierogis all the time. If you're going to point fingers at others, you yourself should be without fault.
The question is... can you?
#im just so tired of all the shit that i constantly see on the internet#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY DIDNT DRAW SOMETHING PERFECTLY#or ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY USED A DIFFERENT COLOUR PALETTE#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEIR IDEA OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ISN'T UP TO FANDOM'S STANDARDS#i bet other people also get shit like that all the time#for example my friend is a writer and he just happens to be a cisguy and whenever i mentioned it to people#they would instantly start saying that they are sure he writes shit like she breasted boobily down the stairs#or i remember how i got told off for making trahearne lives au because apparently#messing with canon is just as bad as falsifying information in history books#just stop for the love of whatever's devine#this has been boiling in me for so long i cant even express it#sorry for going off in the tags in case you decided to read them#peace out imma go and read a book and touch grass#finally its green and soft again after so many rains and storms so it will be a nice chilling time outside#oh btw proper plural is pierogi without the s. singular is pieróg. you want to add s - say pierógs#ngl that pierogi-pierogis is one of my biggest pet peeves#like i wont be stabbing you over it or throw a tantrum and i will just move on with my day i have better things to do in general than#than throwing fits and also im not omniscient myself#like i dont know all the words in english and my german knowledge is very scarce#so i in no way demand others know about pierogis#just give people some room to breathe for gods sake#ok ok ok i think im overwriting this and i cant edit tags on phone so now fr im gonna go and enjoy outside and watch the squirrels
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Feeling the ace-solation tonight.
#asexual#aromantic even#it just feels like the whole world looks at marriage and kids as endgame and holy fuck no#people only ever focus on who is dating who and when are you having kids and when are you getting married#like what the fuck#im over here thinking about how much time i can mash together seeing friends#and what books i want to read and bring me joy#and always thinking about these fictional worlds that have brought me so much more happiness than this one#like you belong somewhere else#like what do you do when you know nothing is wrong with you but sure as hell know others would think there is if they KNEW you#in all your ace or aro or whatever else glory#i just want quiet and peace without this looming feeling of people looking at you like youre supposed to be doing more#like you're in some fucked up timeline of having to achieve these life goals that sure as fuck arent yours#like please leave me tf alone#make the norm be however you get your happiness is the goal#the feels are real tonight#an untethered feeling of floating away or something#dont mind me im going back to my asmr videos#these tags are a mess rn
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oh when did that happen...
#THANKS GANG! i dont know when or why this happened but im glad u like my silly once in a blue moon art posts#i need to completely redo my personal tags Ugh my blog is a mess#um I want to post more art eventually but A) i havent made a solid drawing in a month and B) ivr finished writing 2 fanfics in my life Total#and they were oneshots.... For Sam & Max. looks away#executive dysfunction sux Boo i wld lovr to be able to finish writing smth else literally Ever. i have so many cool fic and au ideas#and i get so embarrassed or straight up forget abt stuff i do finish. like... shivers. Freakyverse#aka an abandoned utmv project between a friend group that kinda fell apart but Hey what can u do#namedropping varyswap simply bc i want to have it somewhere public that it does exist and im not crazy when i inevitably lose the google doc#sighs wistfully at the dozens to hundreds of google doc wips i have#i have so much i want to share but i dont even have enough written down for a full chapter of smth...#i would be fine posting abandoned wips if there was Enough for me to be satisfied with#its all messy drafts and half finished plot lines and i barely ever end up completing an entire scene#and. i dont like posting unorganized ideas in public spaces. i guess. idk#screams into a pillow#edit i have 3 finished fanfics total. wrote that 3rd one when i was 9-10. it was a utmv s/i fic abt her and her friends dying. head in hands#shoves my su fic ideas doc behind my back#so like... kicks the floor. anyone else insanely attached to concepts where characters are split into Pieces of themselves etc because#yeah im that person and i also like time travel and undead characters so you can imagine what my su ideas doc looks like rn#sorry i forgot this was a post abt how i have 150 followers#I WLD DO SOMETHING SPECIAL BUT ALAS#yall arent getting shit. Sorry. havent even gotten to the simple doodle requests in my inbox yet#love u xo#rabbit squeaks
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Shout-out to the folks that reblog my OC stuff. You guys get a special place in my will.
#even me a world renouned international superstar pugilist can appreciate the slightest attention original content can get#its hard to appreciate original characters because theres so much information you need to take in#whilst with existing media you can easily consume find wiki pages and discuss with others who have consumed the same media#original characters are a mess and a work in progress because IM STILL TUNING THEM im still refining them and thats difficult#when you want to make consumable and consistent media for people to appreciate because its everchanging#and im too afraid to start something because even i dont know every single detail that makes them who i want them to be#so one day everything im doing will make sense. so for now if you want to know about my ocs or at least what i brewed up#check my toyhouse or check the character tags on here and just deduce i guess#make your headcanons and run them by me and i will judge you and insult you and wring you dry and throw you out the ring#because at the end of the day. im still a world renouned international superstar pugilist#words
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I have got to get worse at my job cus no way can keep letting them rely on me like this
#work tag#got on shift on Sunday and my manager pulled me aside when i clocked in to say thank god youre here i need you on front theyre an absolute#mess over there theyve got orders waiting nearly twenty minutes i need you to figure out whats going on and whip them into shape i know you#can just get all those order out right away just put them where you want them so you can clear that screen. and i did sort it in under 5#despite there having been 3 people on front before i got there which is more than enough people to deal with just 6 orders and yet#and today several people called in sick and one of my managers asked if i wanted some extra hours i said depends when she was like just#until ten tonight which is only an extra hour later than i finish but ive already expressed im not comfortable finishing at 9 for only a#8 hour shift cus its an hour walk back and thats far to go by myself in the dark but i agreed anyway one of my other managers then asked if#i was okay to get home if i stayed that late cus obviously there must be a reason i dont usually stay that late i was like im only walking#so it doesnt really matter but it is gonna be late to be walking back but its fine manager then comes back again and asks if i could stay#til 11 ive only done an 11 once before when they were understaffed again and she did the same but i was wary to agree to the 11 cus thats#reeeally late to be doing such a long walk by myself again other manager is like you dont have to agree to anything youre not comfortable#with then argued to the manager that ive got to walk home and i shouldnt stay however im thinking it over as i make my break and approach#the actual shift runner for this evening and suggest i stay until 12 instead cus thats when my work bestie is finishing and if we finish at#the same time i can then walk back with her instead of just doing the 10 and honestly i need the hours but i shouldnt be so relied on tbh
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computer fastest way to the joker lair NO freeways..... puter?!
#computer fastest way to not being exhausted all the time.....PUTER SAVE ME#im so#sorry not sorry im ranting in the tags rn#i havent had sex in so long#i wanted to hang wuth my partner this weekend FINALLY alone without having to fucking drive 7 hours to be alone and acutally ahve like no#plans and we get stuck with the baby and im so sick of being treated like an extra mother for him#i love him so much dont get me wrong but like..... why am i getting NONE in my relationship bc im too tired after dealing with him or the#teenagers and the one fucking time ive been looking forward too all week i get fucking dumped with the baby AGAIN#like i do not want kids for THIS EXACT REASON no fucking free time no fucking time for myself or my fucking hobbies or my fucking partner#i wanted to cut and dye my hair today after shopping i wanted to sit and fucking watch a movie and makeout with my partner and instead i ge#a sick toddler whos fucking sleeping like shit to worry about like GOD I WANT TO SCREAM#im just#so fucking done with kids and babies anf fucking children and i cant stand this house and all the noise and all the fucking mess and just#EVERYTHING it is everything i hate and i cant fucking do anything about it and i fucking CRIED bc i was so frustrated and i dont cry super#often not bc like i think its weak i just its not smth i do often and im just sick of my relationship having to go ont he backburner bc of#the baby and IM FUCKING ONLY 22!!!!!!!! LIKE WHY ARE THESE MY FUCKING PROBLEMS AT 22 WITH A KID THAT ISNT EVEN MIIIIIIIINE#okay i need to shut up sorry#tw: vent#tw: rant#「mercury speaks」
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And the cycle begins anew . As it does every week
#vent continued in tags sorry gang#every fucking monday ma ends up pissed and yelling about SOMETHING#sorry that im taking the meds that actually help and im not miserable and in pain all the time and throwing up all the time and i didn't#hear the baby making a mess at four in the morning . shocker that the meds that knock me out would prevent me from waking up to hear that#and its not like i can even be upset that she's mad . i was mad . i am mad . i did my best to clean it up#and its not like he only got into her shit. he got into my shit too. he ruined and wasted my stuff too.#when he was able to get into my room and destroy things all the time it was always “dont act like that#he doesn't understand . you cant be mad at him#why would you leave it out if you didn't want it destroyed“ as if i had any other fucking option#maybe if i didn't have fuckin . 8 sheets of drywall (?)#two metal floor vents and a fucking DOOR just sitting in my room i'd have space fo put my stuff and i wouldn't bitch about it#he doesn't get into my room anymore because i have a lock that i have to carry the key for around 24/7#but i do myfucking best to keep him from getting into shit but i CANT DO THAT ALL THE TIME#ESPECIALLY NOT AT FOUR IN THE MORNING WHEN HE IS ACTIVELY BEING SNEAKY AND IM SO KNOCKED OUT I COULD WOULD AND HAVE SLEPT THROUGH TORNADO#SIRENS . SHOCKER THAT HES ABLE TO DESTROY SHIT WHEN IM IN SUCH A STATE . WHO COULD'VE PREDICTED THIS .#im trapped here i can never fucking leave jesus christ#i can never leave. what the hell am i gonna do#i cant do this for the rest of my life . i want to move away so bad but i cant even do that#im too disabled to work like i need to to support myself i cant move to another state but its the only way i'd be able to escape this#unless i move to fuckin . chicago or some shit#god i hate it here i hate myself for not being able to handle it and being upset and being dramatic about it all#and i hate myself for being so tired of it because i dont have any excuse and i hate myself for being so upset that im not able to have#a social life and being jealous of my younger coworkers that talk about hanging out with their friends or like . goin to the fucking park#on a weekday and not being constantly messaged about how bad their baby brother is and how they need to come home asap and#how they aren't wrecked by the guilt of being out even on the weekends and i hate that im so jealous of them#and i hate how embarrassing it is that im the only one of my coworkers who doesn't get asked what they're doing on weekdays anymore because#everybody knows exactly what im doing. im staying at home watching the baby#and i hate how humiliated i am every time one of my friends cancels plans last minute and i hate that i lie to my ma about why plans change#god that got long and obnoxious . sorry gang (me rereading my tags later)#puppmeo misery
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Every day is a struggle to not fall back into the same self-harming coping mechanisms that we left behind in high-school over increasingly small and stupid things.
#fae irl#suicidal ideation#self harm#self harm mention#venting in the tags#<- this user was doing dishes and one of the pots in the sink overflowed and then spilled dirty sink water all over the counter#and it was sincerely almost the final straw for them to do something stupid to themselves again#i am an adult i shouldnt be breaking down over stupid shit like this#but also#times are rough and its alright if you need a moment to recollect yourself after making a mistake#its not like my life is even that difficult so why cant I just be okay#its okay to not be okay and different people react to different situations in various ways and theres no shame in that#and on and on and on#i want to break something i want to set something on fire i want to scream and scream and scream and cry and throw shit and make a mess#i want to replace my heart with a stereo and blare the music so loud it rips my skin and scream everything inside of me raw#until its all gone and i feel better and my head is quiet again#and i want to rip myself open and watch myself bleed out or maybe just go to sleep and never wake up again#but i am an adult and id have to replace everything i break and i cant afford a noise complaint and id have to pick up any mess i make#and i wouldnt be able to afford the hospital bills if anything went wrong if i hurt myself again and i dont want to get admitted#to the ward again because it was horrible and made things worse and i cant afford it anyways#I just want to feel better already man
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Kiku I will avenge you. There will be not a stone unturned. Not a man unharmed. I do not care if kanjuro is dead this is something else. What the fuck.
#kid thats so metal... (heehee)#law sitting like a princess on sanji's shoulder ajdhaksj... babygirlism....#he has to begrudgingly tend to his wounds in candle light.... another babygirl.... the same as wrapping a jamón ajshaksjj#see when they are alone in the dark after they are done arguing the truth comes out....#the cloud is called hera..... of course...#zeus depressed akdjsksk go back to nami!!!!! oh nami doesn't want him either ajdhsjsjsj#omg luffy..... luffy!!!!!!! LUFFY GET UP!!!!! there he goes :)#i an with kaido here... did he just disappear.... what. is he falling off. is kaidi saying that bc people will comtinue to fight even if#luffy dies..... he got back up all smiling and shit.... to get kaido one last time.... luffy.....#am i a ham to you..... you are not that appetizing... insane btw..... there is history here....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1033#how does kaido know about joyboy... wdym you couldn't be joyboy.... KAIDO EXPLAIN#zeus <3 rip in peace.... omg new nami and zeus ad break moment#cant marco get perospero.... like come on he is jusg there flying around#chopper suplex..... just like franky taught him....#how are they recognizing momo in that doll ajdhakahaja the guy with the hamster arm akdhsks#momo feels luffy's pain omg.....#KID!!!!! YEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!#episode 1034#KIKU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY GIRL!!!!!!#DONT MAKE THAT FACE DONT SAY THAT!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO SHE DISNT HAVE TO DIE SHE ALREADY LOST AN ARM FOR THIS!! ASHURA DIED FOR HER MISTAKE!!!!#THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! FUKC OFF!!!!!!! KINEMON BEHEAD HIM!!!! SCISSOR STYLE!!!! FUCK HIM!!!#ANOTHER SWORDWOMAN DOWN!!! CAN THEY NEVER WIN!!!! OH FUCKING KAIDO NOW#what a fucking mess.... i hate this.... kiku should live this is not right oh fuck kinemon and his swords#i will defend good placed deaths like laki and wiper but this is not it..... this doesnt fit it doesnt make sense... no..#episode 1035
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