#no need to rush or worry too much
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b-blushes · 3 months ago
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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introvert-celeste · 16 days ago
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Welp, I can safely say that October and Halloween have been ruined for me. I envy everyone who can actually look forward to the festivities because my heart is just not in it this year :/
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago
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...
#i started the semester off with such a level head but ive walked myself further and further toward i ledge i can feel crumbling#out from under my feet. i sit in small rooms where i feel the stress radiating from my chest down into my limbs. disappating into the floor#it makes me want to run and run and run but im so tired and the sidewalk is icy slick. and i feel like im at the limits of my abilities#and i know every grad student has that worry but what if its true. that i have a void behind my eyes and not enough depth of thought#anywhere it matters. how am i supposed to operate in this system when i can barely string together the words to understand what im reading#and itll never be any easier. what if im at my functional limit? what if i caught fire and burned away to ashes? what if i screamed and#kept screaming until someone told me patch up the open wound in my chest? what if i just stopped?#what if i could just let go of any need to feel like i have a purpose? what if i could just live? and feel the wonder of the things around#me. let go of all my emptiness#move at a pace that isnt breaking my neck. feel anything close to joy or if that's too much to ask then let me at least feel stable. just#for a while. just a little while.#and i know itll b fine. and i know im just being whiny bc things are hard and theyve been hard and theyll always be hard bc i refuse to make#things easy. but i just feel like im standing alone on a beach where the water's been drawn too far back#and i can see it rushing toward me faster than i can run. im just waiting for the tsunami to wash me away to nothing#unrelated
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wildevenusian · 1 month ago
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(​it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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twocorvids · 2 years ago
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sure sure Rick is really fucked up and should eat glass, cool cool— can we please discuss poor fucking morty for a second?
the way he clung to robo-Rick, literally let go of the ledge to go die with the version of his grandfather who he felt actually loved him— a version only capable because he was forced to love him. programmed to.
the way this kinda reframes solaricks for me in a particularly devastating way. obviously Rick wasn’t a robot at that point, (he was only one for the morty sun ep) but I’m talking more specifically about how this frames morty.
“you’re my grandpa, Rick.” and what a spectacularly shitty grandpa he is. “Rick and morty, a hundred years.” and god, morty truly seems to be keeping his word even to his absolute detriment. and it honestly hurts to watch at this point— the way morty keeps clinging to Rick and trusting him despite the traumatizing shit he pulls as easily as he breathes. from a plot point it almost doesn’t make sense, but when considered with the context of who morty was and who he is now…. who else could morty turn to?? who else could morty be? who else does he have but this abrasive, dependent monster who loiters around as his grandfather??? whether he likes it or not— Rick is the only constant in his life. Rick is the only grandpa he’s ever known— all other family is replaced, recycled, and buried. he’s a terrible consistency that drags morty down far more than ever raise him high, but a consistency nonetheless. I’m not saying that morty couldn’t do/be anything else without Rick— but from mortys perspective???
god, what can this poor kid fucking do?
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aria0fgold · 6 months ago
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Maybe I should just accept the fact that I'm bound to have writing WIPs and inch my way to completion with this thing by adding onto it day by day instead of fully completing the thing in a single day like I usually do.
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sayheykid · 2 years ago
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i love zegras as much as the next guy but i truly think that mason mctavish is the most interesting young talent on the ducks right now. mark my words, within the next five years we will see him get an A, and he will become captain within his career
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justinefrischmanngf · 2 years ago
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tree branch fell off/out of a tree right after i walked by it on the way home today feels bad folks i should probably check in with my mum
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fish-and-forbear · 2 years ago
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I think I am doing okay, here.
I wish so many things could have been different. My heart aches for it. But I wouldn't have found my voice, otherwise, nor would I have met so many wonderful people and creatures.
I wish the other one would worry less. It's very silly to realize he thought I was the panicked one... now I've organized my mind and honed my edge, and he's the one who keeps feeling down...
I don't entirely understand why... life is very good. Everyone is getting a little better. It aches because I can feel it like a physical creature clawing in the skull, and whispering all of the misery in this world, the atrocities, the tragedies, the possibilities of so many things ending, or of getting hurt or worse for who he is. And being afraid for the people he cares about...
But that doesn't help us sleep right now. It doesn't change that tomorrow morning the sun will rise and we don't have work and we could do anything, within reason of course.
I'm not sure. Maybe I am the stupid one for being so positive. But one of us has to be, now.
Maybe it's just my instincts waking up again. It's so easy to throw my aching heart and memories away when someone I care about needs me. And right now, once more, we just need to rest.
Nothing bad is even happening! We had a nice day. We talked to friends, we played a game and lost track of time because it was so much fun. I liked that game and the name is appropriate, Loop Hero. Ironic but fitting! We helped a friend feel better after a nightmare. And now it's OUR turn to rest.
Nothing is wrong. Everything is alright. Many big steps forward this coming week. I feel his worry creeping into my heart too, but there's no need for it. We were brave and confident before, we can be that way again. :)
- Grist
#system journaling#see I can remember what words I need to use...! Sometimes.#I think I made him sad because my friends have their own blogs now and I immediately wanted to look at them#he let me but it just made him upset. But why? I chose to unfollow. He felt better after that. Why worry?#I am familiar and content with friendships between firey souls that do not last very long.#Better to rest them down gently. You should always leave friends at least a little bit better than you found them#If I did that then I am happy :)#I just wish he would believe me that it's alright... I know who I am... even if other people see me as a mistake that's fine#I've been around too long to care too much about that. Even from my own family. Trauma makes long bonds difficult#Sometimes when they are healed they can rekindle but..... foresight is a gift and a curse for these things. Better to let them go entirely#than hold onto what isn't there.#... I think he needs to talk to his friend again. The one that lives here.#I think he needs closure that these things are alright. After all that was 8 years and they are so much happier now :)#Hmm. This is getting long#I will let it rest. The heart is already a little softer and everything is less tense. His memory is AWFUL and he can never remember what I#talk about on my own but hopefully he will see that I am content and stop worrying so much about me. And focus more on better things#like making my damned music list like he keeps saying he will! But that is a joke to make him laugh :) There is never any rush.
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
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shtuff-hello · 2 years ago
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@marischimmer ok but this with what we've already been talking about? Like, the hero goes to confront to agency alone (because they were trying to protect the villain) and comes back like this? Yes. Just yes.
Prompt #19
“You’re bleeding,” the villain said.
The hero merely shrugged them off, eyes slightly unfocused as they stood out in the rain - having just knocked on their nemesis’ door but daring to go no further. 
“It’s not my blood,” they muttered.
The villain’s eyes narrowed, an expression strangely similar to worry crossing their face. “No, Hero, I think some of that is yours: your side…”
Confused the hero’s gaze dropped down, catching sight of a sizable gash that ran all the way from their waist to the top of their thigh. They swayed a little, the blood loss a rather good explanation for the dizziness they’d been feeling for the past five minutes.
“Oh,” they said. “Oh no…”
Their body gave in before the villain could catch them.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
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kurooh · 1 month ago
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HORNY BRAINROT ☆ MY HERO ACADEMIA
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⊹₊˚. featuring various characters and a mix of thirsty thoughts!
warnings. 18+ content — mdni, f! & gn! reader, oral sex, threesome, reader’s gender isn’t described much
xoxo, juno. this is nsfw, not tiktok brainrot !
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whenever you’re making out with katsuki, he makes sure to guide your hand towards his hard cock. his hand grips yours as he drags your fingers along the outline, pulling back from your lips to huff out something like “fuck— look how hard you’re makin’ me.. all for you, babe.”
eijirou takes a while to cum when you’ve got him in your mouth; whenever he notices the tears cascading down your cheeks and the way you’re starting to slow down, he’s always gently encouraging you to keep going. the longer the blowjob, the louder the moans — to keep you motivated, he gets a little whiny: “oh, s-shit, just like that, baby..”
walking in on tamaki stroking his cock to you is nothing less than beautiful. at first, he’s embarrassed and rushes to zip up his pants until you grab his wrist and stop him, encouraging him to put on a show for you. and god, he absolutely does. he gives your favorite parts of his body all the attention, arches his back for you, cries out your name like a mantra. just before he cums, he asks for some form of permission.
izuku’s strong, using one hand to keep you steady as you ride his face while the other works his cock. facesitting is his favorite thing to do with you because he gets to wrap your soaked, sticky panties around himself and use them to jerk off all while drinking you in.
cockwarming in the morning with keigo after he’s been gone a week on a mission; it very quickly turns into needy, desperate fucking while hands roam bodies and pull one another close. (he started it by kissing and sucking at your neck.)
bouncing on denki’s cock until he goes entirely dumb, and telling him he better not cum yet until you tell him to. of course, he’s too far gone to even look at you directly or hold onto you; tears gather in his eyes as he whimpers, begging you to let him cum inside.
mirror sex with hitoshi, who yanks you back by the hair whenever you look away out of embarrassment. “who’s that pretty girl?” he asks as he fucks you so hard you can barely even stutter out an answer.
it’s easy for dabi to get a little mean; after countless orgasms and endless rounds of fucking in every position he can come up with, you’re drooling and moaning freely. “what was that, doll? c’mon, use your words.” (he’s making it impossible to do so.)
admitting that you need some help learning how to ‘do sex’ to your best friend shōto is embarrassing, but he’s so eager to show you that you forget all about it. as you lay beneath him, clinging to his shoulders while your nails dig crescents into his skin, all you can both think about is the fact that neither of you took action sooner.
“you think you could handle us at the same time?” dabi scoffs, while you’re sandwiched between him and prohero hawks, who’s kissing you as he spreads your legs so you’re ready to take both of their cocks. “don’t worry,” he whispers, gold eyes glinting with the same hunger in dabi’s. “we’ll take care of you, baby.”
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kbwrites · 4 months ago
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Husband! Nanami with his Pregnant wife
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cw: nanami x f!reader, pregnant sex, masturbation, nanami loves his wife nsfw under the cut!
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sfw
Once you become pregnant with Kento Nanami’s child you don’t lift a finger.
Even if you wanted to.
This man would be at your beck and call all 9 months of your pregnancy.
You wake up every morning to a big breakfast and a smoothie chock full of all the veggies and fruits you need to stay healthy.
Daily footrubs!
And back rubs.
Says it’s to alleviate your aches and pains, but he secretly loves any reason to touch his beautiful wife.
Don’t even THINK about reaching for anything too high.
He’s rushing towards you, resting his hand on the small of your back as he reaches for the mug.
“Please dear, allow me.”
Dropped something?
“I’ve got it, honey.”
Need to put your shoes on? He’s resting your foot on his knee as he ties your sneakers.
There for every doctor’s appointment. Cries the first time he sees the ultrasound.
Is so patient with you, handling you with such care through your mood swings.
“It’s alright dear, I know you’re frustrated… Come sit down and I’ll rub your shoulders hmm?”
Has no problem waking up in the middle of the night to get you your midnight cravings.
Arguably the perfect husband.
nsfw
He thought it was physically impossible for you to be any more attractive.
But then he sees you drinking a glass of water in the kitchen, one hand resting protectively over your bump in a beautiful flowy dress he had gotten for you.
Feels ashamed at first. He doesn’t wish to bother his darling wife, especially when she’s going through so much.
Resorts to locking himself in the bathroom, rutting his hardened length between his fist and sucking in a breath as he imagines your swollen breasts and belly round with his seed.
Bites back a moan as his cum spills from his flushed tip down his hand and shaft.
He doesn’t get away with it for long though, you’re too smart. It’s one of the reasons he fell for you.
Not giving him time to protest, you grab his large hand and lead him to your bedroom.
He wants to tell you not to worry about him and his trivial needs, that he worries he might hurt you.
All those restraints die in his throat when he sees his precious wife climb on top of him, sliding down onto his length.
“O-oh… darling” he purrs, enraptured by the way your breasts bounce with each movement. He gives them a gentle squeeze, loving how sensitive you’ve become.
His honey-colored eyes glaze over as pleasure washes over him, painting your walls white.
Secretly wondering how long you should wait before he gives you another child.
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luvgam3 · 3 months ago
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Summary: Nanami seeing you in a wet sundress has him seeing stars (and hearing wedding bells)
Cw: MDNI, semi public (in a car), reader on top, (Nanami has on glasses cause I said so) afab reader
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Kento Nanami had your day planned out so perfectly. The location (a beautifully secluded park with lush foliage and a wonderful view), the food (all of your favorites packed neatly in a wicker basket), and the small bouquet of roses he’d bought for you.
He had everything planned to perfection- what he hadn’t accounted for was the way your little yellow sundress clung to your rain slicked skin. Or the way your breathing was shallow and rushed from running to the car.
His eyes rake over you as your head tilts back, welcoming more air into your lungs- and he watches the rise and fall of your chest. Your rapidly beating heart matching his own for an entirely different reason.
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Your cheeks are flushed and rosy as your head lulls to the side, soft eyes meeting his as a gentle smile spreads across your face. It makes his heart melt as you laugh, the sound of rain pattering against the windshield. His hand sneaks across the seats before it finds the plump fat of your thigh giving it a loving little squeeze like he always does when you’re next to him.
“Ken?”
His eyes flick back to yours, not realizing he was looking everywhere but.
He was too focused on the way the white parts of your dress all but disappeared with the water soaked into it, showing your supple skin underneath. He was too focused on your chest, the way small droplets tumbled down your shoulders and between your cleavage.
He was so highly aware of your clothing, the way he could just manhandle you into his lap and slip aside that layer of fabric so easily. Dresses and skirts made such easy access, access he didn’t notice till now.
“Ken what’s wrong?” You ask, your voice full of concern. Your hand finds his cheek, smoothing soft circles into his flushed skin.
Your touch is so sweet, so full of kindness and concern.
It’s so sinful what it does to him.
The pit of his stomach twists as his fingers close around your wrist, his head turning so his lips brush against your warm palm, breathing you in, savoring the heat of your touch.
“Nothing, darling.”
Your bottom lip finds its place between your teeth as you anxiously look him over. His freshly washed hair sticking to his forehead, his glasses foggy with droplets of water clinging to the lenses.
The pit in the bottom of your stomach pulls, something is wrong, something is eating him up inside. You know your boyfriend better than anyone could ever dream, and as you watch the way his mouth stay attached to your damp palm, ragged breaths slipping through his parted lips as his eyes meet yours, you just know he has something to say.
“You’re not lying to me?” You ask, your voice dips with worry.
Nanami feels a small shiver slither up his spine as you quickly bring your other hand to his forehead, slicking back his wet hair and pressing firmly to his exposed skin.
“We need to get you home and dried off—“ you mumble to yourself. He doesn’t notice. Just like you don’t notice as his other hand reaches out to you, finding purchase on your jaw.
“Honey-“ He whispers, his usual calm demeanor slipping through his fingers as you look up at him through dewy lashes,
“I’m fine.”
“But your face is on fire.” You tsk, your palm going from one cheek to the other seeking answers.
You’re oblivious, he thinks.
Nanami only ever feels this way after those late night dates where you’ve both had too much to drink, your skin flushed the most amazing shade of pink he’d ever seen, when your hair is disheveled from running your fingers through it aimlessly all through dinner. Or after business trips when he’s finally alone in his hotel room, his once neat button up shirt crinkled and damp with sweat as his hand clutches his phone listening to you coo through the speaker and into his reddened ear.
His lips pull back, his eyes creasing as a small chuckle sneaks out of him and into the humid car.
“Ken, this isn’t funny! What if you get sick?” You pull your hands back, sitting closer to look at his face, he watches your eyes glaze over in fear.
His doting little girlfriend, sick with worry.
Another gritty chuckle fills the car as he turns away from you, and before you can speak the soft click of his seat fills the silence for you.
The line between concern and annoyance slowly breaks as you watch him lean his seat back.
“Kento—“
His large hands quickly, slide under you, biting into the fat of your ass as he slings you over his lap. The action knocking the air out of your lungs, your nose inches from his as you stare wide eyed into his foggy frames.
You’ve been in this position before, on his expensive leather couch, in your plush homey bed, in his deep marbled bathtub. Every piece of furniture you both own has seen you on top of him.
The tips of your ears burn as his rough hands run apologetically over the mounds of your backside— you get it now, as your weight sits fully on his lap you feel the tent in his trousers.
Nanami’s lips curl softly, a smile only you’ll ever see, his voice comes out husky as you slightly wiggle in his grasp. “I’m fine.”
His nose softly bumps against yours, as a soft silence blankets the air around you. The rain outside reduced to a soft pattering as your blood pumps in your ears.
Seeing Nanami this close never gets easier, it’s like being near him for the first time all over again as you slowly invade the small gap between you, pressing a feather light kiss to his lips. And god how he melts under your carful touch. His lips buzzing with electricity as you pull back, your hips involuntarily grinding against his as you gaze down at him. Your cheeks match the color of the roses he bought you just hours before.
“You need to learn to use your words.” You scold him, the pads of your fingers rub against the smooth buttons of his shirt, quietly popping them loose and revealing his glistening pale skin underneath.
He nods, completely unaware of what you’ve said. Nanami’s gaze is fixated on the untouched skin of your neck and the way your dress exposes so much of your chest.
Leaning forward his nose bumps against your skin, inches below your ear peppering soft hungry kisses onto your damp flesh.
You can hear the groan he suppresses, his chest vibrating under your fingers as you tilt your head back, shivering with bated breath as his mouth travels lower, his teeth nipping at every freckle and stretch mark on your chest as his large hands latch onto your waist just below your breasts, steadying you on his lap.
“Now it’s your turn to use your words.” He says, his words muffled temporarily as he places one final kiss onto your chest.
His eyes fight to catch yours as he pulls back, his hands squeeze gently as he speaks, “is this okay?”
A soft delicate hand cups his cheek tenderly. Your hand. The hand he yearns to put a ring on. The fingers he loves seeing covered in your own arousal, they now rub soft circles into his jaw, trailing up the side of his face and softly pushing a stray hair behind his ear.
You watch his eyes, swirling with that familiar hunger, but he’d never risk making you uncomfortable. So he waits patiently underneath you, his hands move to rub your back comforting his own anxieties rather than your own.
Today wasn’t supposed to lead to this, maybe it would’ve ended with you in his arms, but not here and not like this.
You gently press a kiss to his cheek, your sheer lipstick leaving its mark as you move across his face mapping every inch in kisses and makeup before finally meeting his lips. Your lips move slowly against his as you both drink in this moment.
The sound of rain increases, your ears ring as one of his hands sneaks under the bottom of your dress, palming gently at your ass.
Reluctantly you pull away, nodding as you readjust your hips, moving lower down his lap and pressing your hands flat against his torso, his hard muscles shiver under your touch, “this is good—“ it’s almost a whisper as you reach for the buttons of his shirt again.
Nanami makes a soft ‘tsk’ing sound,
Wordlessly he pushes your hands away before slipping his between your thighs, the pad of his thumb pressing suddenly onto your clothed clit. His ring and middle finger gently prod at your panty clad entrance as you whimper above him.
“I don’t want you doing the work, baby.” His voice is low as he watches you with intense hunger, your hips stutter against his hand as your eyes fight to stay open.
“Today is about you,” you moan as he speaks in that gentle voice,
“please.” You’d mistake it for begging if you didn’t know any better.
That man could spend hours between your legs, lapping at your dripping heat before he even thinks about himself. Hearing the pleasure ooze into the once quiet room is all he needs.
You try to object, shaking your head,
“no— I want to make you feel good too—“
Nanami makes that sound again, that sound of gentle disapproval.
Your eyelids sit heavy as you force them open only to see him already gazing up at you, his fingers quickly push aside the damp fabric separating you, his large fingers plunging into you with a loud squelch.
And god— the momentary prickle of pain and adrenaline that shoots up your spine is intoxicating.
You want to protest, to pull him out of his pants and drop to your knees, but your shoulders tense and you lurch forward bracing your hands on the seat he’s resting on with a throaty moan. A moan that has him twitching in his boxers.
“Let me take care of you.” He whispers, your faces mere inches apart as you pant, his hot breath fans across your face seeping deep into your skin and sinking down to your core as you drip on his fingers.
Thick fingers pump softly in and out, Nanami watched as you shudder above him. Your hair frames your face like a halo, a dress strap slowly slipping from your shoulder as his thumb finds your clit again, pressing hard before softly drawing circles soothing the stinging pleasure as you whimper.
Your arms tingle and weaken as he works you open, softly you slump forward resting your head into the crook of his neck breathing in his scent. The smell of rain and sweat and him making your body buzz.
He knows how to make you feel good, knows every spot that has you gushing around his fingers. Nanami listens to the shuddering breath you suck in, he feels your body trembling above him as you attempt to hold yourself upright.
Your head spins as he retracts his fingers only for them to push right back in, hitting that spot deep inside you. Your legs quiver, your hands cling to his shirt, his hair, anything.
Wordlessly he removed his fingers, a soft whine of his name bubbling up the back of your throat before you can even hear the sound of his zipper, “I’ve got you—“ he groans, his breath hot against your ear as you cling to him.
The air around you is alive, buzzing with a desperate need and an intense feeling of love, devotion, the sensation of the thick air making his pleasure double.
Nanami squeezes your hip with one hand, holding you still above him as he slowly palms at his aching erection with the other. His fingers pry apart the fabric, his chest heaving as he slowly pulls himself free. You breathe against him, hot and heavy as you push yourself up on wobbly arms, your eyes catch the sight of his hand lazily pumping himself under you.
“God—“ the sound is a soft whine as you lean back, your ass flush with your thighs, slick staining the bottom of your dress as you take in the view before you.
Nanami reclined back on his precious leather car seat, his head tilted back, eyes heavy as they hold your gaze. His fist gliding over his cock, base to tip, precum dribbles over his fingers coating his shaft as his breathing grows heavy.
Slowly, you clap your fingers around his wrist pulling him away from himself. His eyebrows furrow as you bring his slick digits to your lips, eagerly popping them into your mouth. Your tongue swirling around and between his fingers, he twitches, you clamp down around nothing, the air grows thicker.
With a wet pop he pulls his fingers free bringing them to his waiting lips, tasting your spit on his fingers while you wriggle against him, your small hand wraps around his shaft, one small stroke before lining the tip up with your entrance.
A shared wave of pleasure shoots through you, your shoulders tense, his abs clench, you drop down slowly drawing out the experience as rain pelts the windshield.
Desperate to get you wrapped snuggly around him quicker, Nanami brings his thumb back to your clit drawing soft circles into the sensitive nub.
Back arching pleasure tingles in the bottom of your stomach as you slide down lower and lower, with bated breath you close the distance completely, a hoarse moan crawling past your lips.
“Good— fuck— girl.”
Slick and saliva dribble down onto the seat beneath Nanami as you pull yourself back up, your arms snaking around his neck as you push yourself back against him.
His cock enveloped in your gummy heat has him seeing white, his resolve slipping as your hips stutter against his.
Nanami cups your jaw, his rough fingers meeting your soft skin, “You’ve got this, Angel.” He groans out, slowly meeting your hips in small thrusts.
“So good.”
His praise has you gushing around him, the feeling of him deep in your gut makes your legs shake, your forehead presses into his. Deep ragged breaths warm your faces, your mouth hanging open in a silent moan. Your hips burn, you give one final bounce before moaning his name.
“I— I can’t—“ it’s pathetic how easily you surrender under his touch. His hand roughly pressed down on your back, pushing your chest into his.
“Keep those hips high, f’me” his voice a low buzz in your ear as you bite down on the collar of his shirt, nodding desperately.
Large hands clamp down into the soft flesh of your hips, working them for you in slow lazy circles as he thrusts up into you.
The wet squelch echoing around you, melding with the sound of your desperate moans, his husky praise, and the pattering rain outside.
If heaven exists— this is what it feels like. Hot euphoria that swims from the bottom of your stomach down your legs and up your chest, mind numbing in every way.
Nanami moans harshly in your ear as you clamp down around him, your walls fluttering as your jaw falls open. Your red bitten lips wet with drool as you cry out, eyes screwed shut as his thrusts speed up.
“Kento— Jesus Christ!” His hand squeezes with a bruising force, your skin vibrating with the feeling of him, the smell of him, the presence of him overwhelming as you cum around him with a sweet cry of pleasure. Soaking his trousers as he continues to fuck up into you, unrelenting as you mewl into his neck.
“That’s it— so perfect— so good.”
Hot tears prickle the back of your eyes as you press searing open mouth kisses to his jaw, meeting his waiting lips in a rough kiss of clashing teeth and messy tongues.
Your nails bite into his shoulders, red angry crescents that’ll bruise come tomorrow.
The base of his cock is coated in your release, a white frothy ring meeting with your plush ass over and over as he drives into you, groaning into your mouth forcing you to swallow down his desperate sounds of desire as your cunt attempts to milk him dry.
“Ken— cum for me—“ it’s a plea, your lips press kisses to the corner of his mouth in pure desperation, over sensitive pussy pulsing around him.
“Please—please—please—“
Thrust— a hand flys up burying its self into your hair, snapping your head back.
Thrust— his lips capture yours, his tongue pushing past your lips and down your throat.
Thrust— his cock twitches, his hips pressed hard into yours as his hands push you roughly down onto his lap, your sensitive clit catching on the rough material of his boxers making your cunt clench impossibly tighter around him as he cums.
A thick fog covers the inside of the windows as the last of the raindrops coat the outside, sliding down the cool glass like the cum trickling down your thighs as you lay slumped against Nanami.
Your dead weight blankets him as his arms wrap around you, hands rubbing soft shapes into your shoulders and back.
“Maybe next time we should stay in.”
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youraverageaemondsimp · 4 months ago
Text
Lust for love. // Aemond Targaryen x Wife!Reader.
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Summary: Aemond's life has always been a bitter and sour one, the only sweet thing in his life was you, his wife, perhaps too sweet for his liking, yet he neglected you in the past but a series of events lead you both together into love.
WARNINGS: mdni, smut, unprotected p in v, cunnilingus, interrupted orgasm, horny aemond, martial duties, clit stimulation, tiddy succin, body worship(?), gentle and kind aemond but he gets rough during sex, + not proofread, lmk if I missed any!
WC: 2.9k
A/N: divider credits @cafekitsune
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The cold breeze brushed against Aemond's face as he walked hastily towards your chamber, his boots clacking against the stone floor heavily while his heart banged in his ribcage.
He was feeling light headed, unable to form any thoughts and only the words of the maester rang inside his skull from earlier. ‘Your lady wife seems to be sick’ he had informed him and those mere words were enough to make Aemond spurt up from his chair in the meeting room and immediately rush towards you.
Aemond, frankly, did not know why he was feeling anxious at the information that you were sick, he did not even like you much and only merely married you for the connections and benefits your family provided.
You were just a mere duty to him, so when did he start caring about you?
He stood in front of your chamber door waiting anxiously as the guard gave him a bow before he opened the door, the mental hinges creaking as it slowly moved. He steps inside hurriedly and immediately lets out a sigh of relief when he sees you sitting up. You just stare at him confused.
“Husband? What are you doing here?” The tone of your voice indicated surprise, because Aemond had never visited your chambers even once since the beginning of your marriage and only called you to his chamber when he wanted to consummate.
“I had been informed by the maester that you were sick.” He replies nonchalantly, tone betraying the true feelings that were whirling on the inside. He wanted to get close to you, embrace you.
“I'm not with child.” You reluctantly tell him while looking down, suddenly feeling as though you are a disappointment. It felt humiliating to tell him that, especially when he came all the way to your chambers, he probably expected that you would be with a child.
Except that was not the case.
Aemond was confused on why you were bringing up that topic now, but then it clicked in his head and he cleared his throat, grabbing your attention before shaking his head, “Oh no, wife, I wasn't here because of that.. I was worried.” He admits and your eyes widen in shock.
Worried for you?
For as long as you can remember Aemond never seemed the type to show affection or concern for anyone, perhaps it was due to his past grievances, you had only heard about his eye through rumours, he never opened up to you about anything. You were a duty for him, someone he needs a legitimate heir from; because it is not as though he doesn’t have whores to seek pleasure from so what is the use of you? ; or at least that is what you had assumed and questioned.
But to Aemond, you were his sweet gentle wife, he was afraid of hurting you, in his vision, you were like a white swan, pure, elegant and graceful, he did not want to scare you lest you fly away from him. He did not know when he started perceiving you in this way, but as time went on, he had developed quite a soft spot for you.
“My apologies, Lord husband, I did not intend to worry you.” You apologised, he shook his head gently. “No need to apologise, how are you feeling now?” He questions and you simply blink at him, “I'm well, better than before.” You reply with a soft smile. Aemond's lip curved upwards slightly as he nodded, “Very well.” He says in a dismissive tone.
Awkward silence falls between you both as you look down, he clears his throat before speaking, “If you'll pardon me- I have to—”
“Would you like to take a walk with me?” The question leaves your mouth in a hurry before you could stop it, a desperate attempt at clinging onto this fleeting moment of affection. He seems slightly taken aback but he nods his head, “I'd love to.” He replies and you nod, stepping in his direction and standing next to him. “Shall we go?” You inquire, “Yes, wife.” He answers and you wait for him to take the first step, which he does; and soon you follow him out of the room.
You both stroll down the garden, admiring the scenery, the breeze was gentle today, and the weather seemed perfect, Aemond linked your arm in his, holding you close to him.
Your skin was soft to the touch and it drove him insane, he couldn't help but stare at the way your breasts pushed up against the material of your dress, he never really properly fucked you like you deserve.
Yet now, he just wants nothing to do but push you against the castle wall and fuck you relentlessly in the garden. Aemond realised that he never heard you moan, or show any type of reaction when he consummated with you.
He wondered how your soft voice would shriek in pleasure, calling out his name in pleasure, how you'd cling so tightly to him, he wished he could witness such a sight. He wished he hadn't gone to whores to receive pleasure while he left his wife dry. He missed out on a lot of things due to his decisions.
He mentally made a note to stop visiting brothels as it would taint your honour, he could simply seek the same pleasure from you. He became more bothered as his imagination went wild.
“... husband…? husband…!” He snaps out of his imagination, looking at your confused expression, “Y-Yes? Please excuse me, I was lost in thought.” He apologises and you give him a soft smile, “You were saying something?” He asks and you nod, “I was thinking about; well; if you excuse my rudeness, I realised we don't know much about each other.” You truthfully tell him.
Aemond furrows his brows in question, “What do you mean by that wife?”
“I want to get to know you, husband.” You stare at him in the eye and his eye widens slightly, and just then he recalls the memory of Aegon's words.
“That woman in the brothel knows more about you than your own wife, don't you find it amusing?” He was taunting Aemond, and at that time Aemond ignored those words, but now that you've openly admitted that you don't know him much made his heart shatter.
“Of course wife, what do you wanna know?” He decides to let his guard down, ready to tell you whatever you ask for. “Everything.” You reply, biting your lip anxiously, your hand travels up to his face, caressing his cheek before you trail your thumb down his scar. He knew what that implication meant and he smiles at you in a gentle manner, his own hand coming up to grab your wrist.
“Of course.”
Days pass by just like that, your marriage with Aemond had improved tremendously after your little effort to get to know him better, you felt bad for him when he began to reveal such vulnerable things, yet you never judged him.
He had shown you all of his vulnerability so openly, from the matter of his eye to everything else. You listened in silence, and he appreciated that.
As Aemond grew more comfortable, he began to show his emotional side, which included both his vulnerability and anger. He would utter treasonous things about his own brother.
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This night was one of those cold nights, the cold breeze flew into the martial chambers you were waiting in, the maids prepared you for the consummation as they do, you and Aemond consummate according to your moon cycle since your only duty is to provide him with a heir.
And besides, he probably did not want to lay with you in an intimate manner, or for pleasure. You felt insecure because of that.
You were scared that after all this progress, everything would return to the same way it was before because of this night, you doubted that it would happen but your thoughts plagued you.
You winced when you felt the maid tug at a hair strand accidentally, “Sorry my lady.” She apologises to you, “It is alright.” You respond softly, you stare at your own reflection in the mirror, eyes trailing down your features.
The door to the chamber opens, and Aemond strides in hurriedly, the maids quickly finish fixing you up and leave the room immediately, you get up from your seat and turn around to see Aemond undoing his clothes.
“Let me help you.” You offered, usually he would decline and continue to undress himself, and you expected that again, but his actions shocked you.
He immediately dropped his hands to the side and turned to look at you, waiting for you to walk over to him and help him. You blinked rapidly before rushing over to where he stood before you stood in front of him.
Your hands immediately began to work on removing his vest, your fingers delicately undid the loops, you were too focused on the job that you failed to notice Aemond's piercing gaze. He watched with intent as you worked on removing his clothes, his eye taking in your form. His breeches felt tight.
You pushed his coat off his shoulders and peeled away the vest, revealing his tunic beneath the layers, his garments fell to the ground with a shuffle, you stepped back, leaving him in his undergarments.
He grabbed the hem of his tunic before he pulled it off and then began to undo his breeches, untying the strings. You took that as a gesture to lay down on the bed, facing up.
This is what you did when you both consummated before, you would lay down, he would spread your legs, insert himself, finish and leave.
You expected that to be the case, but you were surprised when climbed on top of you, his face right in front of yours, platinum locks curtaining around you. He stared at your lips for a moment before he leaned in, capturing your lips with his.
You were surprised, and didn't know what to do, so you stayed still, but he bit your lip, indicating his disappointment at your freezing up, and so you immediately tried to mimic his movements.
Your lips danced against his, yet it couldn't match the fervent passion he moved with, it was desperate, intimate and most importantly, filled with love and lust.
All your prior insecurities melted away under his warm lips which were filled with desire and want, he wanted you, he seeked you out.
You both pulled away to catch your breaths, his lips were glossy from your saliva and slightly swollen. Your heart was pounding loudly in your chest.
Aemond moved your night off your shoulder before ripping it apart, revealing your breasts which you immediately covered out of instinct. But he gently grabbed your wrists and pinned your hands to the side of your head.
He leaned down, tracing kissing down your jawline, to your neck and to the soft flesh of your chest. His hot breath against your bud made you shiver in delight.
He hooked his tongue on your hardened nipple before engulfing it with his mouth, you let out a squeal of surprise at his actions but you didn't stop him.
He suckled on it gently, using his teeth to trap the bud in between before licking it with his tongue, he grunted in delight, his grip loosening one of your hands, freeing it from his hold.
He grabbed your unoccupied breast with his now free hand, giving it soft squeezes and playing with the bud, rolling and pinching it. You were new to this, not having any understanding of what was happening, after all, you've only read about it, never experienced such intimate acts yourself.
You rubbed your thighs together, trying to ease the ache that was forming in between them, you realised how sticky the area felt, and how it made it difficult for the friction of rubbing to work.
He notices this, lets go of your breast with a pop, he smirks before he rises off from you and settles in between your legs, this was the position you were more used to.
He spreads your legs wide apart, pulling up your nightgown, revealing all of you. He pressed his thumb against your clit which made your breath, you stared at him confused until you felt him rub small circles upon it.
Your body felt pangs of delightful stimulation, you couldn't help but enjoy the feeling, all of this was foreign to you. Aemond takes a deep breath before he closes in on your cunt, before licking a stripe upwards to your clit. You jolt from the sudden pleasure.
Aemond wrapped his lips around it, sucking on the bud slowly, you whined, grabbing his head for support as his mouth worked wonders down there. You tasted absolutely divine to Aemond, your essence trailing down his cheek as your body produced so much of it. You whimpered, thrashing around lightly as his warm tongue flickered with your bud.
Aemond's tongue swirled around your clit before he captured it with his mouth once again; “Oh! Yes!” You moaned, throwing your head back in pleasure when you felt him nibble on your bud. An unfamiliar feeling of warmth rose in your lower abdomen, you felt as if there was a fire inside you, waiting to combust any moment.
Just when you feet the flames beginning to erupt, Aemond stops his manoeuvres, putting out the fire, you furrowed your brows in confusion, wondering why he stopped.
But when you looked at Aemond, he seemed like an entirely different being at that moment, he had risen up back to his haunches again taking deep breaths almost as if he was trying to contain himself.
He was.
He had never felt such an overwhelming of desire in his body, every time he touched you; his mind scrambled into pieces, he wanted to fuck you so badly.
“Aemond?” You call out softly, confused, wondering if he was disappointed by your behaviour but it seems to snap him out of his daze and he stares at you. “I apologise; I'm finding it hard to control myself.” He admits his thoughts.
“Then don't.”
Aemond swore he heard you wrong.
“What?” He questions you.
“Don't try to Aemond, Don't hold yourself back, I want this, I want you.” You admit shyly.
The atmosphere fell silent for a second and you could feel the awkwardness from your own words beginning to sink in, that was until Aemond moved suddenly.
You shrieked as he pulled your hips onto his lap, wasting no time in inserting himself, you gasped at the sudden stretch, feeling yourself become full of him. You grabbed onto his shoulders for support.
He held your waist tightly, grabbing onto your hips for leverage as he began to move, thrusting himself in and out.
This was a movement you were familiar with, yet somehow it still feels new because of the strange sensation, it felt more intimate and passionate, his thrusts held meaning and it was as if every time he pushed inside you; he was reaffirming his love and desire for you.
He pushed you into the mattress, grabbing your legs and shoving them to your chest as he thrusted hard, his skin slapped against yours loudly, the room echoing the noises.
You threw your head back at the sensation, and you felt the fire in your stomach rekindle and you couldn't help but desperately chase it. “Ah, right there.” You moaned, feeling him hit a sweet spot inside you that fueled the fire in you, you gasped for air as every thrust of his knocked it out of your lungs. “You feel so good, you're driving me insane, wife.” Aemond grunts, his thrusts never once faltering.
Everything about this night together was very different from the previous ones, Aemond had never felt this good and neither have you, he regrets not trying to get to know you earlier. He felt like he was in heaven with the way you clenched around him.
He felt his high approaching, and he desperately ran after it thrusting deeper inside as he groaned and moaned.
Your body jolted up and down the bed and you felt the fire beginning to spread out slowly, you closed your eyes, when you felt the fire suddenly go out, you were confused but as Aemond thrusted one more time it erupted in your body like volcano, coursing through your veins and to your mind.
You moaned loudly, grabbing the sheets and arching your back as your eyes rolled to the back of your head at the intensity, you have never felt this way before.
Your vision went completely white before you could see once again, you felt Aemond finish inside you, his cocking twitching as he spurted his seed deep inside you.
“Seven hells.” He groans, riding his orgasm off, you watch as he clenches his eye shut taking deep breaths.
He looked so ethereal.
He immediately falls down next to you, catching his breath, he pulls you close and kisses you on the forehead, “You did so well for me.” He praises you, and you blush shyly.
Neither of you moved from the bed, having no intention to.
Typically Aemond would leave the room right after.
Yet he didn't.
He was stroking your shoulder gently as you dozed off, head resting on his shoulder.
He looks at your closed eyelids and thinks you're asleep.
“I love you.” He confesses, realising his true feelings.
Your lips quirk up into a smile before you open your eyes slightly.
“I love you too.”
You then doze off into slumber immediately, Aemond's heart picks up its pace, embarrassed and shy that you had heard him, but your response made him smile.
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