#no metaphors or allusions to certain people we calling them out By Name

[danko420]

im so sick and mad about everything going on and not being able to do anything about it i may actually have to start a punk/metal music project >:/

[veralevina15]

Radovid's chess monologue: devotion, betrayal and *lub-dub, lub-dub*

Today I’m going to explain to you the criminally overlooked Radovid’s chess monologue. That is not a comical crazy nonsense. That’s absolutely gorgeous speech about devotion, betrayal and *lub-dub lub-dub*.

Chekmate. They say that's the game of kings. That chess teaches one to think strategically. What a load of rubbish! Both sides have identical pieces, the rules stay invariably the same. How does this mirror real life?

Radovid, despite his young age, is a rather experienced ruler. He had to solve this most difficult puzzle called “politics” more than once. Politics is not chess, and here no one plays by the rules. Therefore, Radovid had very quickly accustomed himself to cold calculation, flexibility of mind and a certain amount of cynicism.

Witcher, do you know why I play chess?

Whatever the answer, Radovid ends the introductory part of the monologue and proceeds to the main one.

I play chess to reveal the game's secret. Blood thumps inside this chessmen. You need only listen - and you will hear. Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub...A heart pumping with life. I take a pawn - and hear flesh being rent. I win a piece - and hear screams from the depths of its bowels. I want to break the chessmen open, squeeze the truth from them. Do you see what I mean?

This whole piece is one continuous metaphor. Let's look at it in more detail.

Blood thumps inside this chessmen. You need only listen - and you will hear. Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub...

This is the most memorable moment, although Radovid only poetically compares the figures with people, and “lub-dub” is nothing more than an imitation of a heartbeat; a symbol of how noisy life is in a chess piece, if instead of it we imagine a living person, but on the political "board" of kings.

A heart pumping with life. I take a pawn - and hear flesh being rent. I win a piece - and hear screams from the depths of its bowels.

Through chess images, Radovid paints a picture of real political life with numerous deaths and sacrifices in the name of a certain goal. Dead flesh, death screams - this is what remains of the "pawns" that kings sweep away from their political board with a wave of their hands.

I play chess to reveal the game's secret.

Do you see what I mean?

What secret is he talking about? What is the "truth" that Radovid set out to squeeze out of chess? Perhaps these are the most difficult questions of the chess monologue. In order to fully understand them, you need to answer the king “No, I don't” and listen to Radovid’s further explanation.

You do not beacause you are not a king. Pawns see only the comrades at their sides and the foes across the field. The king has the differen view of the chessboard. His greatest foes surrounds him. His own chessmen might trap him. And that is check...and death. You see, witcher : сhess is a art of sacrificing your own pieces. Now do you see?

This is the key point of the monologue. Here is a real possibility in chess, when the king gets a checkmate only because he is blocked by his own pieces, and an analogy with royal power, when lieges betray their monarch. This is a clear allusion to a conspiracy against the king of Redania, arranged by the Temerians and Dijkstra (which is typical, none of the king's inner circle or from other Redanians, with the exception of a traitor soldier, is involved in the conspiracy. This makes one seriously doubt the veracity of Dijkstra's speeches and the journal entry that, they say, everyone would be happy about the death of the White Eagle).

The king is afraid of betrayal, because recently several rulers of the North have fallen victims of evil intentions: Demavend III, Foltest, and even earlier - his own father, Vizimir II, who was killed by Philippa Eilhart. Radovid is very afraid of repeating his fate. The situation is doubly aggravated by the war with Nilfgaard and the beginning of the Witch Hunt. The king is always on the alert, because he knows for sure: a lot of spiteful critics have divorced around, who in the most decisive way decided to throw him off the throne.

Thus, the “truth” that Radovid wants to squeeze out is the desire to obtain convincing evidence of the loyalty of his pawns, close associates and subjects (Geralt, Roche, etc.). Not without reason follows the explanation of the message about the king, locked in a trap by his own pawns.

His greatest foes surrounds him. His own chessmen might trap him. And that is check...and death.

He is absolutely right. Vernon Roche and Geralt are exactly those "pawns" that can lure the king into a deadly trap.

Another aspect of this monologue is reasonable sacrifices for the common good. In chess, one must be able to sacrifice one's pieces, as well as on the field of big politics - one's subjects (for example, Whoreson Junior). In the context of the infidelity of the lieges to their king, Radovid probably also takes into account the need to sacrifice unreliable pawns in time so that they do not harm the monarch. No wonder he orders to kill Geralt on the bridge of St. Gregory, because he suspects him of treason and barrier of all kinds. This is a fair assumption, given that on behalf of the witcher, the player can interfere with the plans of the king more than once.

You see, witcher: сhess is a art of sacrificing your own pieces.

It turns out that, on the one hand, chess doesn't mirror the real life (after all, no one plays by the rules in politics!), and on the other hand, how many figurative references can be found in chess to the real life of kings (and not only kings! ). Here is such a duality and depth. Perhaps, this is precisely the “secret” of chess for Radovid. Speaking more globally, chess in an incomprehensible way combines many different motives: ethics, metaphysics, music, mathematics, philosophy, and even love. The game is full of a bottomless amount of hidden meanings, and Radovid, as a talented chess player, understands and feels this very well.

And if we go back a little and answer the king's question "Yes, I do"?

Radovid: …I want to break the chessmen open, squeeze the truth from them. Do you see what I mean? Geralt: Yes, Sire, believe I do.

Radovid will react quite sharply to this.

You know shit. You're merely humoring me! I was not speaking literally.

These words of Radovid destroy any ridiculous assumption that the king, they say, in a fit of madness treats chess as if it were alive. And the king clearly does not tolerate any sycophancy. Perhaps it is for this reason that His Majesty will not give such a detailed explanation and will limit himself to only one phrase:

First hidden truth: a monarch is always surrounded by fools. Understand?

Around the monarch there are always a lot of sycophants who naively think that they are smarter and more cunning than their ruler and can easily deceive him. Radovid was surrounded by the ambitious sorceress Philippa Eilhart, who wanted to rule over Redania through obedient “pocket king”, and arrogant, blooming nobles, who did not respect the young heir.

At the end of the scene, Roche gives an extremely strange assessment of the king's speech:

Radovid's sinking ever deeper into madness, as I see it.

Also, an equally strange entry appears in the journal on behalf of Dandelion, where, among other things, it is indicated that

Geralt's meeting with Radovid confirmed the rumors circling around the king's mental state. The Redanian king was a dangerous madman trapped in his own world of disturbing visions

It is completely incomprehensible, on the basis of what Radovid's phrases we should have the impression that His Majesty is insane. If you listen to the king carefully, it is quite obvious that he says the right and logical things, in fact, describing his royal life, and the Eagle uses very beautiful images for this.

The words about the "mad king" looks like a deliberate denigration of Radovid. "Madness" is an inappropriate word to describe the state of mind of His Majesty, his pain and his anguish. But, of course, by the events of The Witcher 3, the king is on the verge of breaking, and a real abyss has opened up inside him. However, this is not about chess at all.

[blossom-hwa]

Prologue (CHAN) - |Breathe, and Live|

And so we begin the fluff :) Enjoy single dad chan!

Pairing: Chan x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, slice of life, single parent!au

Triggers: allusions to sex

Word Count: 1.7k

Chan is lost, so lost, and sometimes it feels like the walls are caving in. But he’ll make it, he knows. He has to, for the two little boys cradled in his arms who he loves more than anything he has in the world.

SKZ Masterlist | Breathe, and Live | Touching Stars (TBZ teacher!au)

She tells him at precisely five fourteen in the afternoon, voice dead but panicked, on a crowded bus full of people, words crackling over the phone.

“Chan, I’m pregnant.”

The walls are silent. His laptop, too, since he paused the track to pick up the call. He can’t speak, can’t breathe. It deafens him. It squeezes at his head, pounds against his temples, fills his ears with static buzzing.

His vision blurs. Something rises in his throat.

Chan thinks he might throw up.

How? his mind screams. He’s always been careful, always used a condom. She takes birth control, takes the pill every morning after. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t fucking make sense.

But you can never be sure, the rational part of his brain unhelpfully supplies.

The droning voice of his old sex-ed teacher back in Australia fills his mind. “The only way to be sure is to practice abstinence.”

Back then, he’d snorted quietly in the back with his friends, elbowed them and smirked and didn’t bother paying attention to the rest of the lecture. What was the point, anyway? Chan may not be as cautious as his parents – the impulse decision to stay in Korea for university, even after his family moved back, is proof of that – but he’s tried to be careful with this. Cautious, respectful, caring.

That kind of thing would never happen to him.

Somewhere, somehow, he hears her saying his name. Between the noise in the background and the ringing in his ears, it’s muffled. Disjointed.

“Okay,” he manages to choke out. “Okay.”

What else can he say?

Her voice sounds hoarse now, even over the tinny phone speakers. She’s crying, or on the verge of it – Chan’s known her long enough recognize the catch in her words that signals the lump in her throat. “I – Chan, I don’t –” She gasps. “I don’t think I want to keep it.”

It takes a moment to understand. But the minute he does, there’s only horror. Sharp, clear, precise. It pierces his chest, breaking through the foggy cloud of his brain.

He wants to scream, yell at her, how could she think of that? How could she not want to keep the child that’s depending on her?

But his sister’s voice cuts through his swirling thoughts. “No uterus, no opinion.” Hannah’s dark eyes, quiet but challenging, flash across the restaurant table, voice cutting through the debate going on across from her. “You don’t own anyone’s body but your own.”

He’d agreed then. He still agrees now.

So he takes a deep breath and tries to understand. They’re young. Stupid. He’s in his last year of university, she’s on a gap year. They’re barely old enough to function in society on their own. It’s understandable. And more importantly, it’s her body. Her choice.

Another deep breath, a bit shakier this time. He settles his mind. “Come home first,” he says quietly, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. “Come home first. We’ll talk about it then, okay?”

There’s a sniff on the other end. “Okay,” she breathes. “Okay.”

The call ends. Chan sits still for a moment, staring at some random section of the wall, thinking but not really seeing. The paint is peeling. The lights are glaring. The university studio, the place he thinks of essentially as a second home, suddenly feels cloistering. Unwelcoming. It feels like some disgusting, warped metaphor for his life.

He buries his head in his hands and tries to breathe.

. . .

Chan can barely face her parents. It’s not that he doesn’t want to. He really wants to tell things upfront, give them his apologies and promise that he’ll do anything to help them out, but they just look at him with smoldering, narrowed eyes. There’s no endearment in her mother’s expression anymore, no quiet pride in her father’s, as though he was another son. There’s only hatred. Disgust. Disappointment.

With a thick tongue and embarrassment coloring his face, he swears up and down that they used protection. She doesn’t say anything, just looks down with a sort of hopeless expression on her face and occasionally nods or shakes her head in accordance with what he’s saying.

They blame him. That much is certain. Privately, Chan thinks that’s a little unfair, but given that the woman bears the brunt of the pregnancy much more than the man, he lets it go. It’s understandable. After all, he blames himself a lot, too.

His parents act a little better. They’ve known him for all twenty-one years of his life, known how he always tries to treat people with respect, with care. Chan can still hear the disappointment and worry in their hushed voices over the phone, but it’s okay. It’s better than hatred.

She doesn’t want the child, she makes that clear. Her parents don’t want it either. They want to adopt it out.

On the other hand, Chan, well… it’s fucking hard. He’s barely finished with university, barely gotten started with his life. And he’s in the damn music industry. Unless he makes it big, there won’t be a lot of opportunities to sort out his life.

But he wants the child. Even though it’s going to be difficult taking care of her through the pregnancy, then making a path with the baby in tow, he wants it. He doesn’t want to give this up.

So they settle. She’ll have the baby. Once it’s born, she’ll take care of some of the bills if she can. Otherwise, Chan is the guardian.

It isn’t so bad, not at first. There’s the morning sickness to contend with, but they live together. It isn’t too hard for Chan to take some time to take care of her. They make the doctor’s trips together, and seven weeks into the pregnancy, they find out they’re having twins.

(Well, Chan is having twins. Her face screws up just the slightest amount, not in disgust but not in something nice either. Chan elects to ignore it and focuses on his own happiness.)

He works like a madman, sending off tracks to companies, submitting others for homework. He performs when he can, picking up any possible extra paychecks. She works, too, so money isn’t an issue yet. Chan also thanks all the higher beings above that she’s on a gap year, so he’s the only one adding homework to the equation.

The storm starts brewing in the fifth or sixth month, maybe. They’re having two boys, and they like to remind her that they’re there. She doesn’t feel well a lot of the time and has the crankiness to prove it. Still, she helps when she doesn’t have cramps, though she does complain about the weight gain.

But the number of nights where they’re up at odd hours only increases. The boys like to kick. Their mother wants to scream. Chan doesn’t even think he has a brain at this point – any cells up in his head have just been pounded to mush.

On one bad night, when she’s almost crying of exhaustion and the babies won’t stop fucking moving, Chan brings out his laptop. His fingers fly over the keyboard, tweaking soft beats, changing notes, composing a short little melody.

It’s rough, nothing substantial, something completely opposite from the polished tracks he makes for class. No lyrics. There’s just a simple piano melody backed by some guitar chords and it’s probably not going to do anything to help but Chan’s this close to just ripping out his hair and screaming for the entire city of Seoul to hear. He has to try something.

He almost deletes the track by mistake and has a mini heart attack, but he saves it with shaking fingers and brings the laptop over to the bed. She’s lying there, hair a mess, eyes red, but there’s some relief in her gaze as he puts the device on the sheets next to her and hits play.

It works. It fucking works. The babies slowly stop kicking, and she eventually falls asleep.

For just a moment, Chan sits on the edge of the bed and takes in the calm, soaks in the silence broken only by the track playing softly in the background. He rubs his eyes once, twice, clears the fog that obscured his vision.

Maybe he can do this. Maybe he can raise these two kids, even if he’s the only parent they have. Maybe there’s the tiniest fucking chance in the world that he can really be a good father, someone for his children to look up to and love. Maybe there’s a chance that he can really have this family.

Four months later, she gives birth to two healthy baby boys. Jisung is born first at 11:58 p.m. on September 14, while Yongbok comes next at 12:11 a.m. on September 15.

Chan holds them close as soon as he’s able, in awe of their tiny faces, their tiny limbs and tiny eyes.

How did he manage to create such life?

“Give them English names,” she says tiredly, her voice barely a whisper. She looks at them too, a bit sadly, with some care, but distantly. “They’re yours.”

A tinge of bitterness spikes in his chest, but it dissolves as he looks back into the faces of his two boys. She’s right. They are his. So he decides on Peter for the baby beginning to wake on his left arm, and Felix for the boy still sleeping soundly on his right.

She’s up and out of the hospital in a matter of days. A week later, she moves back into her parents’ home, leaving Chan standing in the doorway of their apartment, two babies in his arms.

“We’ll make it together,” he whispers, watching her car disappear down the street. “Together.”

Jisung makes a little gurgling sound. Felix scrunches his nose.

The tiniest of smiles slides across Chan’s face. Yes. They’ll make it together.

He takes a breath, then heads back inside.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for Chan, he’s going to need it :/)

[imhaitusncarnate]

I have very mixed feelings on that aot ending

Ok so the politics of Attack on Titan have been discussed by a lot of people, some of whom have a very surface- level understanding of the story. I would like to start by giving my disclaimer that Attack on Tiatan ABSOLUTELY isn’t fascist, its anti racism, anti bigotry and anti discrimination themes are extremely apparent in it’s examination of the Eldians inside Marley, and fascist views held by characters such as Gabi are explicitly condemned in the text and made clear to be misguided and false. 

I would now like to draw everyone’s attention to the openings of seasons 1 and 2. 

Images like these combined with lyrics like these:

You pigs who sneer at our will to step over corpses and march onwards Enjoy the peace of livestock false prosperity "freedom" of the dying wolves that hunger

We dedicate and sacrifice our hearts

And also the use of german lyrics:

Sie sind das Essen und Wir sind die Jaeger! (they are the food and we are the hunters)

O, mein Freund! Jetzt hier ist ein Sieg. Dies ist der erste Glorie. O, mein Freund! Feiern wir diesen Sieg, für den nächsten Kampf!

(O, my friend! Now, here is a victory. This is the first glory. O, my friend! Let us celebrate this victory for the next battle!)

This is the stuff that lead me to believe that this is a deliberate use of fascist imagery. If the show just wanted to go for a militaristic vibe for the aesthetic of it, references this explicit to fascist propaganda and the use of German lyrics was not necessary. Also, lines like this:

And plenty of evidence that things were not what they seemed it the world of aot and that the overly simplistic view of good vs evil (humans vs the titans) was incorrect led me to believe that Attack on Titan was a deliberate deconstruction. That it was putting the audience into the mindset of the fascists to pull the rug from under their feet later. And I was right. Sort of.

As the story progresses, the world becomes a more and more complex political landscape and we are led to believe that this black and white mentality is wrong. We are also informed that the people who can transform into titans, the Eldians, are an opressed minority, explicitly paralleled to the Jews during nazi Germany, from their living in internment camps, to them being called devils, to their armbands, to a large number of them (our heroes) being confined in an island with walls circling them, which is revealed by Isayama to be Madagascar. The island that the nazis originally meant to confine the Jewish population in before arriving at the conclusion that that would be too costly, and that genocide was preferable. 

This is the first of the story’s mixed metaphors. While the show’s heart is in the right place, being sympathetic to the Eldians and showing their plight under marleyan opression and persecution, there is one problem. The reason for the opression of the Eldians is because the world is afraid of their power, as they are a race with the ability to transform into titans. There is, therefore, a tangible, justification for their internment. The Jews were not in any conceivable way a danger to anyone, they were simply scapegoated for the complex socioeconomic problems of Germany in the time period. Also, if we take a look at those openings again, we observe that the Eldians (our main characters) who wish to free themselves from their shackles are framed as fascists. So... what is that saying?

 The idea, as I see it, is that the story is condemning fanaticism in general, as a biproduct of a militaristic black and white worldview. The monstrous titans that our (framed as fascist) heroes fight against are revealed to be human, just like them.

The same is the case for the Eldian “devils” that the Marleyans fight against. Gabi, the character who is most fanatically against Eldians (despite being an Eldian herself) is comfronted with the humanity of the people she hates once she gets to know them.

Again, Isayama’s heart is on the right place here, trying to condemn bigotry, however the explicit referencing of history is the imagery is kind of misplaced, for the reasons I previously mentioned. Now let’s have a look at Eren Yeager.

Eren starts the story as a kind of messed up kid. He kills the human traffickers who kidnapped Mikasa while screaming:

I mean, in this case he is certainly justified, but his rage and anger are definitely not normal for a child his age.

This is Eren. He can’t stand injustice when he sees it. And injustice is what happens to him when the titans attack. His already fiery attitude and mindset is what leads him to this declaration of revenge:

That side of Eren is visible throughout the story and it’s foreshadowing for what he will later become

Eren, however, is a natural product of his environment. Ravaged by socioconomic inequality, with the rich living in the centre of the walls and the poor living in the outskirts, constantly under the threat of the titans and unable to obtain any kind of freedom, Eren’s philosophy of the need to be strong to overcome one’s enemies makes sense. The mantra “the strong prey on the weak”, that he ends up teaching Mikasa (another allusion to fascist ideology) is a biproduct of the world he lives in. He does not know of the political intricasies outside the walls. All he knows is he must kill the titans.

Eren’s titan is described as the “manifestation of humanity’s rage. It is huge and monstrous, and could be seen as a metaphor for vengeful hatred in general. Keep that in mind, it’s relevant for the ending.

This manufactured and false black and white worldview shapes him as a character, and it’s what eventually, after the arrival at the much desired ocean, leads him to this:

“Will we finally be free?”

In the continuation of the story, Eren falls toward the dark side more and more, to the point of committing atrocities and war crimes that are explicitly framed as being similar to what he suffered as a child (see his actions in Liberio). He even acknowledges that, telling Reiner, the person who committed said war crimes against him, that he essentially has no hard feelings and understands that the two of them are similar, doing what “needs to be done”. The character of Gabi, who, after what happens in Liberio, becomes obsessed with revenge against the Eldian “devils” is meant to be a foil for Eren, and his obsession with killing the titans after what happened to him. 

Extremely interesting is the way in which certain ideas and images are flipped in the later seasons. Namely, in season 4, we see a character who idolizes Mikasa and supports Eren’s plans in a scene where she spouts the same mantra of “the strong prey on the weak” and says that Mikasa saving her is what showed her that only with strength she can defeat her enemies. Mikasa tells her to shut up, and she proceeds to do the salute, that has been so glamorized by the show’s openings thus far. Now, it is done by a person from a military faction with a fanatic worldview. The direction doesn’t glamorize it at all. It is a nuanced, almost masterful deconstruction. 

Levi, who has always looked for reasons for why his comrades had t die, justifying their heroism and convincing himself that their deaths were not pointless, ends up here:

At this point, I was in love with Attack on Titan. From here, it only figures that Eren ends up attempting a genocide of the people outside the walls. He has essentally become what he hated the most, and he’s a natural result of the world that created him. Despite his noble intentions, he has turned into a monster. Mikasa, the prerson who loved him the most, completes her character arc by killing him, thus rejecting her blind devotion to him and being free, while at the same time continuing to love the person he once was. It’s a sad and tragic ending, painting Eren as a tragic character and making a pretty strong political point, despite having a few mixed metaphors.

And then, chapter 139 came out...

And Eren apparently pulled a Lelouch. This is a “I purposfully turned myself into a monster to save the world and make my friends into heroes for killing me” kind of thing. It is important to state that the manga makes it clear that Eren would have trampled the world even if they didn’t stop him, because of his urge to be free. However, that urge, that fighting spirit, end up being a good thing. The death of our heroes in battle apparently wasn’t pointless after all. They say goodbye with a salute

The Yeagerists, who were previously framed as fanatics, end up in charge of the government

It is important to state that the real event, the catalyst of the ending, is that killing Eren, who has turned himself literally into the manifestation of humanity’s rage (which has now, through the intricacies of the story, taken the political meaning of hatred and intergenerational trauma), eliminates the power of the titans. The titans are no more. This, in of itself, is good, and in keeping with the spirit of the political commentary thus far. However, the war, is still not over, and Eren’s mantra ends up being correct

So the only way for the war to end is one of the races to be wiped out? 

Also, despite Eren’s genocide being wrong, it is, in the end, justified, as a necessary evil by the story. An Ozymandias kind of moment in which the ends justify the means, but Eren himself has to die, because his crime was too great for him not to suffer punishment. Essentially, this chapter undoes all of the insightful commentary the story had made so far, by proving the ideology of its main character right. Story- wise this isn’t a bad ending, but if we take into account the political references the series has made, and its desire to explicitly tie itself with such imagery makes the ending leave a really bad taste in my mouth. What it essentally says, is that, yes, bigotry and racism are bad, yes, blind hatred is bad, but the general idea of might makes right and the impossibility of reconciliation are true. Armin, who has, throughuout the story, been Eren’s opposite, in terms of looking for peaceful solutions to conflict is rendered meaningless in the end, because him alongside with the other characters were all playing into Eren’s plans. The hearts of our main characters as recruits were in the right place, their fighting spirit admirable, and the overall worldview we are presented with in the beginning of the story remains more or less unchallenged. 

So where does that leave this imagery?

The conclusion is that one must think very carefully before including allegory in their work. I am not accusing Isayama for fascism, and I appreciate the efforts at deconstructing it throughout the story. However, in the end he did an oops I accidentally justified the mentality I was trying to condemn. I still like Attack on Titan, I believe it has artistic value and is overall a pretty good anime, I even agree with its politics to an extent. However, it is very important to critically examine the things we like, and see where they may have gone south. And this ending is that for me.

[welllpthisishappening]

One Foot In (6/7)

The facts were these.

Killian Jones was dead. This much Emma knew, standing in the middle of the funeral parlor staring at him. What she didn’t know was why. Or how. Or what she would do when she touched him.

Because Emma Swan had a gift. Touch a dead thing once, bring it back to life. Touch it again, dead forever.

And the last thing Emma could do was bring Killian back to life, talk to him for the first time in years, only to watch him die all over again. Not when she’d spent the better part of those same years being in love with him.

��–

Rating: Teen, but eventually they’re going to kiss Word Count: 9K’ish this chapter and some ‘ish is going to happen AN: Hello, hi, here are some explanations and feelings and then some more feelings and drama and stuff is going to happen, guys. Thanks for being top notch and excellent and reading all these words. I think you’re swell. 

|| Also on Ao3 or you can read all those words from the start ||

@shireness-says​ @optomisticgirl​ @nikkiemms, @teamhook, @dayo488​, @greymeetsblue​, @jennjenn615​, @heavenlyjoycastle​, @klynn-stormz​, @superchocovian​, @onepunintendid​, @jonesfandomfanatic​, @lfh1226-linda​ @thejollyroger-writer​

—–

Emma Swan is twenty-nine years, six months, twenty-four days and, approximately, eleven hours old when the Earth appears to lose its entire atmosphere. 

She doesn’t gasp, which is kind of disappointing. She just, kind of, sort of freezes, muscles tensing and body going taught with the tension that had been lingering just under the surface of everything since she made the one decision that changed everything. 

Someone curses. 

Emma can’t tell if it’s Ruby or Shakespeare, but there’s some kind of scuffle happening just out of the edge of her vision and there are goons in the living room she hadn’t noticed before. 

She still hasn’t moved. 

She isn’t entirely sure she can. 

Coward. 

The Darkness laughs gleefully, a sound that grates on Emma’s ears and feels a bit like nails on a chalkboard or just, actual, literal nails. He’s moving his fingers, a quick tap against each other, bouncing from one foot to the other and it’s as unnatural as it is disturbing. 

“Oh, I knew that would be good, but I never expected it to play out like that,” he says. The words rush out of him, as if he can’t say them quickly enough to keep up with whatever dance he’s doing in the middle of the rug. 

The rug has tassels on it. 

“Beautiful,” the Darkness continues. “Absolutely beautiful. Tell me, Savior, how does it feel to get that off your chest? I’d imagine it’s a relief.”

Emma exhales, another mistake, but she’s piling those up faster than she can count them at this point and the space between her and Killian feels as vast as several Grand Canyons. She turns her head slowly, not trusting herself to go any faster and he’s staring straight ahead. 

He doesn’t blink. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t close his mouth. 

She can see him breathing, shoulders shaking with the effort of doing it consistently and she understands that. She assumes the oxygen levels can’t possibly be the same once the atmosphere has been compromised. 

“Although,” the Darkness says, leaning towards Emma with a very specific glint in his eyes. “It appears to be quite a shock to both of you. Thoughts, dead man?” Killian doesn’t answer him. His gaze snaps towards Emma, darker than she can remember it and that’s not right at all. 

He’s not supposed to look like that. 

He’s not supposed to feel like that. 

The buzzing in her head is barely more than an echo now. 

“Say it again,” Killian mutters, and at first Emma doesn’t understand. She’s half a second away from mumbling what under her breath, but then he’s half a step in front of her and it somehow feels even farther away. “Say it again. The truth, Emma.” Her eyes flutter closed at the sound of her own name, the pain and disappointment and absolute hurt obvious in all four letters. 

“I’m the reason Liam is dead.” “How?” The question catches her off guard, an edge to his voice that’s brand-new as well and maybe they’ve just been teleported to a different timeline entirely. That would almost make more sense. 

“I don’t—” Emma starts, but Killian’s already shaking her head and a goon groans when Ruby, presumably, kicks him in the heel. “Yeah, that’s not fair, is it?” “You’re asking me about fair? Honestly? With a goddamn demon a foot away from us?” “Oh now, I resent that,” the Darkness chides. Ruby sounds like she’s trying to actually beat several people with her Louboutins. “I’m hardly a demon.” “What the hell are you then?” “Something the world has been waiting a very long time for. But you haven’t gotten your answers yet have you? And you want them. Oh, do you. I can feel it you know, dead man. The need and the questions and the certainty that something was wrong since the start. Because you’ve always believed that haven’t you? It was wrong. Everything about it was wrong.”

The Darkness grins again – slow and reptilian, the movement snaking across his face until his entire expression looks twisted and inhuman. His eyebrows jump and twist, certainty in every shift as the lights flicker around them. 

Emma does her best to stay upright, but it’s becoming an increasingly difficult challenge. The words keep bouncing around her head, ricocheting off nerve endings and synapses and whatever else makes up the human brain. 

It’s like a scratched CD, stuck on one string of lyrics and one sentence, a few words that play on repeat and threaten to drive Emma even more insane than she already is. 

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 

She’s been wrong since the start. 

“It didn’t make sense,” the Darkness whispers, leering at Killian with wide eyes that have suddenly taken on a distinctly yellow pallor. “Even then. Even now. He was young. He had his whole life ahead of him and she stole that from you.” Emma must make a noise because she can feel Ruby’s eyes land on her, but she’s not entirely sure what it is, just knows that it hurts every single inch of her. She wraps her arms around her middle, desperate to keep herself together in a metaphorical and literal sense. 

Killian keeps blinking. 

Like he’s trying to figure out what is and isn’t real.

“How, Swan?” 

Her breath catches when he looks at her – pleading and desperate and so impossibly blue she knows she’d never be able to forget it. He called her Swan again. 

“Ingrid,” Emma whispers. “She, um...well, she died. I went back across the street, remember? It was..it was lunch and I was soaking wet and—” “—You kept trying to spray me with the hose.” “That’s not what happened at all.” Killian doesn’t quite smile, but there’s almost an attempt and Emma appreciates that. “We were going to go ride our bikes down the hill later.” “Yeah, yeah,” she nods, and her tongue feels far too big for her mouth. “I went upstairs, to change and get the mud out from underneath my fingernails and I heard a crash and I...I got back to the kitchen and Ingrid was dead.”

“She wasn’t later, though.” “Yeah, I think you’ve already figured out how that happened.” “Did you know?” “That touching Ingrid would bring her back to life? Or that she could only stay alive for a certain amount of time? Or that when she kissed me goodnight later I’d kill her?” 

Killian’s eyes flash, another string of fairly impressive curses from the peanut gallery and, maybe, one of the goons and the Darkness is frustratingly silent. Emma drags her hand roughly over her cheek, no doubt leaving an angry red streak in her wake, but the tears have started to fall or are still falling and she’s kind of angry now. 

She’s kind of furious. 

And so goddamn alone she’s positive she reeks with it. 

“Any of those actually,” Killian mumbles. He doesn’t reach towards her, but he doesn’t back away again and Emma’s really starting to cling to these half victories. 

“No. That was—” “—That was the first time.” It’s not a question. It’s a statement of fact and a little pitying, which is a little disappointing, but Emma barely musters up a nod of agreement so maybe she deserves the pity. 

“And you,” he whispers. “You didn’t…” “What was I supposed to say? I had no idea what had happened. It was all...everything happened so quickly. Ingrid was dead and I didn’t want her to be dead and then suddenly she wasn’t and—God, I didn’t want Liam to be dead. I wouldn’t…” Emma runs out of air, lips dry from breathing erratically through her mouth “I couldn’t do that to you,” she whispers. “Not when—” “—Not when she was so consumed with several other very important emotions,” the Darkness interrupts, a note of impatience in his voice that seems more unfair than just about anything else that’s happened in the last few minutes. 

One of the lightbulbs in the nearest decorative lamp shatters. 

“And that, of course, is the crux of our little meeting here.” Killian tilts his head. “It’s a meeting then, is it?” “Have I brought you here against your will, dead man? Have I bound you? Gagged you? Dragged through the streets kicking and screaming?” “You did kill me.” “No, no, no, that wasn’t me. That was Mr. Teach. We’ve covered that already.” “Seems a little bit like splitting hairs,” Emma grumbles, a hint of decidedly out of place sarcasm. She knows Ruby is smiling at her. 

“It’s a fact, Ms. Swan,” the Darkness corrects. “And very important to our little tale. Are you and the dead man done discussing things? Because I’d like to get to the point of all of this.” “There’s a point?” He scoffs, almost amused. “Of course there is. And it’s a very important, very sharp point that will change the course of everything.” “Why did you bring up Liam?” Killian asks. “That—Emma hadn’t told me before.” “You know it’s rather disappointing to be proved so incredibly wrong in such a short span of time. You’re quite lacking on the intelligent front. I explained that already.” The last few words come out a bit like a hiss – more reptilian jokes and puns and allusions and Emma can hear the disappointment lingering in Killian’s voice. She licks her lips again. “And you seem like you’re wasting time,” Emma challenges. “Teach said you were trying to bring someone back. Someone important to you? A kid, maybe? Where are they?” She regrets the question as soon as it’s out of her mouth. 

The Darkness doesn’t yell. Doesn’t say anything. But his eyes go impossibly dark, no color, just a vast expanse of nothing that seems to stretch out in front of Emma and she can feel the rage ripple in the air around them. 

It tastes like rotten eggs, a stench that doesn’t remind her of anything and yet somehow feels impossibly familiar, as if it’s always been lingering just on the edge of her consciousness, an almost that threatens to drag her away. 

“Don’t talk about him,” the Darkness seethes. “Not yet. Not until I explain what has to happen.” “And what has to happen, exactly?” Ruby asks, twisting against her own strand of rope and there’s suddenly a gag in her mouth. She flinches at the fabric, stuffed in between her lips, and both Emma and Killian lunge forward at the same time. 

The Darkness clicks his tongue. “No, no, none of that. I have the upper hand here. I do.” There’s a distinct lack of confidence in the sentence, like he’s convincing himself or reminding himself and the realization sends a rush of something that may almost be misplaced confidence down Emma’s spine. 

“Of course you do,” she says, doing her best to keep her voice even. “Why did you bring up Liam? And what...you keep calling me different things.” “I’m not.” Emma opens her mouth to object, but reconsiders it as soon as she sees the look on his face and the floor creaks under Killian’s feet when he shifts towards her. Her lungs appreciate that. It’s easier to breathe when he lingers in her space. 

“I’m not,” the Darkness repeats. “I’m telling you what you are. This is the start. This house and the belief it fostered in you. You’re brimming with belief, Savior.” “That’s not true.” “Ah, but isn’t it? You grew up here, trusted everything that happened here and even after it all disappeared, you remembered it, didn’t you? Knew it was true and honest and it kept you both of those things. It made you even more powerful.” Emma blinks. “I don’t—” “—I know, I know, you don’t understand and it can’t possibly be real and you couldn’t be more wrong. Haven’t you ever wondered what happened to your parents?” She stumbles over her own feet, an impressive achievement since she doesn’t really move, but it feels as if the foundations of the entire goddamn house shift underneath her. Killian’s breath is warm on her neck as soon as Emma rolls her shoulders, desperate to maintain her flimsy grip on the situation. 

“Just keep breathing, love,” he whispers. 

“Yeah, easy for you to say.” He chuckles, and Emma isn’t sure if the brush of something she feels on the curve of her shoulder is his lips or just her own misplaced and decidedly wishful thinking, but it’s nice either way and she inhales until it feels as if her lungs will burst. 

“Jokes at the end of the world, Swan? That’s impressive.” “Something, something full of surprises.” It’s definitely his lips. 

Ruby groans through her gag. 

“You know they loved you quite a bit, Savior,” the Darkness says, seemingly unperturbed by flirting at the end of the world. Emma assumes that’s not exactly how he sees it. “Your parents, that is. Fought tooth and nail to protect you.” “My parents gave me up,” Emma argues. She’s been told the story hundreds of times, heard it in every house and from every social worker, the ones she barely remembers before Ingrid and the ones that are ingrained in her memory after. 

The story never changed. It only ever seemed to get worse, more proof that she deserved everything she got and needed to push and run and the Darkness shakes his head deftly. 

He’s got that amused look in his eyes again. 

“Tell me something, Savior, what do you know of magic?” “Aside from my ability to wake the dead?” He hums, stuffing his hands in his pockets and Emma only just notices how unkempt he looks. There are wrinkles in his pants and a few tears in his jacket, a hole in his right sleeve that looks large enough to stick several fingers through. The hem of his shirt is frayed and he’s missing a button on his waistcoat. 

He’s wearing a waistcoat. 

That seems strange. 

“Yes, aside from that.” Emma shrugs. “Nothing. This is...this is the real world. Magic—” “—Oh, don’t tell me you believe magic isn’t real, Savior. Don’t insult both of us like that.” “Explain it then.” It’s more misplaced confidence – a demand Emma can’t possibly make, but it makes the Darkness laugh again and half a dozen frames fall off the wall by the staircase. Killian shifts, fingers brushing over the side of Emma’s arm and it’s selfish and greedy and absolutely, positively wrong, but she twists into. Like a selfish, greedy asshole.   “That,” the Darkness says, nodding at their hands. “That’s it.” Emma tries not to growl. It does not work. “What’s what?”

“Magic. We live in a world where magic used to fill the air. It lingered in the wind and the trees, grew out of certainty and feeling and love. It was...rampant. It was a wonderful place.” “And then?” “And then something happened. The world grew too lopsided. There needed more of a balance and magic started to grow more and more scarce. It started to change as well, a twist and a bastardization to it that shifted the very fabric of magic as itself. There was a split, Savior. Between light magic and dark, between those with power and those who understood it. And for quite some time that was acceptable.” “Who accepted it?” Emma asks, but she’s got a horrible feeling that she already knows the answer. “You? The Darkness?” “In the flesh. As they say.” “Did you twist magic yourself?” He waves a dismissive hand in the air, as if he’s almost embarrassed, but Emma can feel the surge of power and she’s certain the walls have started to shake. A few of the goons mumble something that sounds like master and power and the whole thing has taken a rather cultish turn. Killian’s fingers tighten against her sleeve. 

“How old are you?” he asks. “And how long has your son been dead?” The rest of the frames fall off the wall. A few more lights shatter and one of the chairs not currently being occupied by someone who may actually be a hostage at this point, topples over. 

Killian arches an eyebrow. “It’s been quite some time hasn’t it? That’s what Teach said. You’d been looking for something...something that would be able to bring him back. How long has it been? How many times have you been wrong?”

“Enough,” the Darkness shouts. “We’re not talking about Baelfire yet.” “Yet.” “You’ve already been dead once, I wouldn’t try to push my luck. Not when you’re standing so close to your own personal noose.” Emma hisses, the words slamming into her like shards of glass and she actually has to look down to make sure she’s not bleeding out on the rug. She assumes neither Shakespeare nor Nemo would appreciate that. 

And she’s already done a shit job of making a good first impression. 

“What happened to my parents?” she asks. “Everything I was ever told was that they were gone, gave me up and didn’t—didn’t want me. That’s...there was no one there.” The Darkness shrugs, rocking back on his heels and his confidence appears to have returned as soon as Killian tensed at his threat. He moves, circling around the room like a goddamn vulture and the death puns really need to stop. 

Emma wishes she could sit down. 

“Some of that is true,” the Darkness concedes. “But I suppose part of the reason there was no one there had to do with me. And, well, as the dead man says, I’ve been looking for something that will fix things for quite some time.” “You’re still talking in riddles.” “And you keep interrupting. Where was I? Magic changing?” 

Emma nods, and it feels absurd, a hint of normal in a conversation that is anything but. She can see Nemo trying to unknot the rope twisted around him out of the corner of her eye. She bites her lip. 

“That’s right,” the Darkness muses. He tilts his head up towards the ceiling, a forced casualness to it that Emma couldn’t possibly hate more. “The universe is big and vast and obnoxious, Savior. It has rules and regulations and power is never given to those who really, truly deserve it. There are limitations to all magic, always some kind of price that must be paid, but there was also a rumor, about a magic that was stronger than anything else. That could defy the laws and exceed expectations. That might be able to change things that otherwise ought not to be changed.” Emma’s throat is shrinking. She’s positive. “And what was that?” “Why, True Love, of course.” “That’s impossible.” “Is it?” The argument is sitting on the tip of her tongue, begging to be made. It’s there and real and rational, a hint of normal, but Emma’s never been entirely normal and she can’t bring herself to actually say anything. 

The Darkness grins. “It’s nice when I’m right.” “What does that have to do with me, though?” Emma asks. “I’m—I’ve never seen anyone else go around waking the dead or—”

“—Being the product of True Love with her own True Love, makes the power run twice over.” It’s honestly a miracle she hasn’t fallen over once during this conversation. In the grand scheme of almost victories and emotional upheavals, Emma might be most proud of that one, particular thing. Her knees feel like they’re made of granite at this point. 

“Excuse me?” she breathes, and Ruby might try and laugh at her poor attempt at polite. 

The Darkness stops walking. “What part of that was confusing?” “Well...I mean, all of it?” “Ah, this is why it would have been better to find you earlier, Savior. You’d get your answers, I’d get my boy and we’d rule the cosmos.”

Emma still doesn’t fall over. She makes the single most ridiculous noise in the history of any noise made by any living organism, but she doesn’t actually fall over. She does, however, sag slightly, a rush of oxygen and emotion and hair in her eyes. 

“What the fuck does that mean?” Emma breathes, voice turning manic and she’s started looking for escape routes and windows to jump out of. 

She’s fairly certain they can’t outrun the Darkness. 

The Darkness shakes his head in frustration. They are all in desperate need of haircuts. “It’s growing incredibly difficult to spell out every single thing to all of you,” he sighs. “There was a rumor, of a magic that was going to change everything, a strength that had previously never been seen and, very likely, would never be seen again. It was a convergence of everything, a happy accident that could change the fates with a flash of her fingers. And, well, I regret to tell you, Savior that, at first, I didn’t realize it was you.”

“You thought it was my parents.” “I did. That kind of love, oh—” He lets out a low whistle, shivering exaggeratedly and Emma has to bite down on both of her lips to stop herself from doing something foolish. “It was potent,” the Darkness continues. “Like a field of flowers and sunshine and all those particularly good things. Nauseating, if not useful. They loved each other and they loved you. And I believed if I was able to bottle that, then I’d be able to bring my boy back.” “It didn’t work, though.” “Obviously not,” he growls, and Emma doesn’t think she imagines how his teeth have been growing sharper every time he flashes them. “I’d never dealt in True Love before. It was intoxicating, that kind of power and the rush of what I could do. But it was also volatile and it knew that I was, well, not of the same cloth shall we say.” “You’re talking about it like it’s alive,” Killian says. The accusation in his voice is obvious and the Darkness laughs softly at it. 

“Because it is. Magic is a living, breathing entity that’s part of everyone in possession of it. The people are alive, why shouldn’t the magic be?” Emma considers that for a moment, loathe to admit that it makes more sense than just about any of the shit the guy has been spewing. She’s never been entirely sure what happened that made her this, but ever since that first moment on the other side of the street, she’s been aware of it, of the hum beneath her skin, the rush in her veins and the buzzing in her ears that roars to life every single time Killian glances her direction. 

The Darkness makes another noise of triumph. 

“Oh, this is going to work,” he says, sounding as if he’s half talking to himself again and possibly doing his best to psych himself up. “Where was I?” “You’re a shit story teller,” Killian hisses. He’s moved again, turning his back on the villain and staring at Emma with a look that’s different and the same as all the other ones, treading a line that feels impossibly important. His lips twitch slightly. 

“And you’re incredibly rude, dead man.” “Did you kill my parents?” Emma asks. She reaches out again, more instinct and want and less-than-good adjectives, but she swears she can feel the warmth radiating off Killian and he feels so goddamn alive, she’s got to make sure he’s real. 

“Not on purpose.” “I’m not sure the universe gives a fuck about that.” Emma jerks her head towards him, almost prepared for the slink of a smile that moves across his face. “I suppose you’re right,” the Darkness shrugs. “It wasn’t my intention to kill them. That would have been foolish. I wasn’t sure how any of this was going to work, why would I use my entire magic supply in one fell swoop?” Her stomach leaps into her throat as soon as the weight of those words settle into every single corner of her brain and the sob that wracks through Emma’s entire body hurts more than those metaphorical glass shards from a few minutes before. 

She can’t catch her breath, feels like she’s run several marathons and sprinted up and down the hill on the other side of town. Her vision swims in front of her, black spots appearing in her eye line and everything feels as if it’s flipped over and then being kicked for good measure. 

And it’s everything she’s always feared, the deepest, darkest worries in the deepest, darkest corners of her, the certainty that someone, eventually, would find her and keep her and make sure they wring every last bit of magic out of her, until there was nothing left, just a shall of a something that maybe belonged to someone at some point. 

“It was admittedly a little frustrating when they went and died like that,” the Darkness mutters, no trace of actual remorse in the words. 

Emma isn’t sure who tries to move quicker. 

Ruby kicks at the goon closest to her, drawing a hiss of pain out of him when it appears her heel has actually made him bleed. Her eyes are no more than slits, but the anger is practically reverberating around her, and Nemo has gotten rid of the knots twisted around his wrists with relative ease. 

He slams his right fist into the face that lunges towards him. There’s a crack of skin and skin and more yelling, something that sounds like a jaw snapping and Emma can’t stop shivering. Shakespeare doesn’t bother undoing anything. He just stands up with the chair still strapped to him, swinging it around like it’s an actual weapon and managing to take down three men twice his size in the process. 

Killian, for his part, hasn’t moved away from Emma – or turned back around to the scene that’s dissolved into absolute chaos behind him. He drags his hands over her jacket-covered arms, scrunching fabric under his fingers and she can’t blink, can’t look away or breathe or do anything except tilt her head up and try and remember that there's something good and something to believe in and it’s not the right moment, is the absolute worst moment, but there might not be another moment and—

“I love you,” Emma whispers, barely loud enough to hear herself. She knows Killian does. 

The force of his smile is so strong she swears it settles into the pit of her stomach and the base of her heels, a weight that doesn’t threaten to yank her down, but steadies her and calms her and his grip on her arms tightens slightly. 

Like he’s making sure she’s there too. 

Killian’s eyes flutter, Emma’s nails digging into her palms again to stop herself from tracing her thumb over the scar on his cheek. He doesn’t sigh, but he might exhale, letting go of something that might just be everything and—

“Thank God,” he mutters. “I love you. I can’t...I can’t remember when I didn’t.” Emma’s relief is wrong. It’s out of place and ill-timed, but that could probably be the subhead of her life at this point and she needed him to know. 

At least once. 

And she doesn’t realize at first, can’t hear anything over the rush of magic and belief, but then Ruby yells her name and some goon slams his foot into her stomach and everything that might have been good suddenly comes crashing down. 

Literally. 

Another lamp falls over 

“I’d hate to interrupt and I really do loathe rehashing plot points, but I do love being right,” the Darkness says, slow and measured and so victorious Emma is certain it will be the reason she can’t ever get the goosebumps off her arms. “Now, none of you are going to try that again are you?” he asks, glancing back over his shoulder at the re-tied rope and upright chairs. 

There are tears on Ruby’s cheeks. 

“I’d hate to have to take steps,” the Darkness adds. “Savior, please tell your friends not to distract me again.” Emma swallows back the lump of emotion sitting in the middle of her throat. She tries to take a step towards Ruby, but two different goons move into her space and they must be multiplying somewhere. Maybe they’re actually clones. 

Magic clones make sense at this point. 

“It’s ok,” she whispers, a lie that makes even more tears spring to her eyes. She must be close to setting a record. “It’s...we’re going to be ok.” The Darkness hums in agreement. “There, now that that’s settled. Let’s get back to the task. True Love, dead parents, a missing baby who just...disappeared as soon as I turned my back.” “What?” 

“I genuinely do not know how to make that any clearer.” “Your magic, love,” Killian mumbles. “You must have...have you ever teleported before?”

She gapes at him. ��Are you serious?” “I have no idea, at this point.”

“It’s entirely possible that you did,” the Darkness says. He’s stopped walking, perched instead on the top of the slightly ornate couch in the corner of the room. Every kick of his legs out makes Emma grit her teeth. “As I said, your magic is quite a bit different than mine. It might not have appreciated being, well, targeted like that. Although it did set us on this path now.” Emma lifts her eyebrows. “And what path is that?” “I need your magic, Savior. The same magic that was prophesied as the strongest of any magic the world has ever seen. You see, it’s taken a very long time to make sure that that happened, but your little display with the dead man helps explain it.” “Why did Killian have to die? That’s...that’s the one part I can’t figure out.” “That’s the one part you can’t figure out?” Killian mutters, grunting slightly when Emma steps on his foot. His grin is absurd. It makes it easier to breathe. 

God. 

“You met Cora again recently, yes?” the Darkness asks, Emma nodding before he’s finished the question. “Then you know that our former Madam Mayor had quite a talent. She could see what people wanted and was particularly good at discerning those with other abilities. I’d almost given up on finding you, Savior. I’d been searching for so long and, well, it’s not as if True Love happens every day. In fact, your parents are the last case I’ve found until today.” Emma’s knees finally give up. 

She crashes to the ground in a heap, a twist of limbs and Killian’s distinct inability to hold onto her when she moves. The tears on her cheeks feel as if they’re burning their way down her skin.

Killian’s head snaps towards her, eyes wide and that same pleading look from before. As if he’s desperate for more confirmation or more magic and Emma is loath to realize she can’t bring herself to produce either.  

She feels drained and exhausted and the Darkness is still talking. 

“Is that surprising?” he asks lightly, another leg kick that ends with his boot ripping the back of the couch. “I’m honestly a little disappointed in myself that I didn’t realize from the very beginning. As soon as I got to this charming little hamlet, it was obvious. The feel of it. It hangs here, like a blanket. But, as they say, when you want something done right, you have to do it yourself and, well, I trusted Cora. That was foolish of me.” “Is that why you killed her?” Emma rasps, voice scratching its way out of her. 

The Darkness quirks his lips. “It was certainly part of the reason. A large part. Cora was positive that Mr. Jones had magic. She told me he was desperate to leave this life behind, couldn’t stand to be holed up in this house for a moment long and, oh—” He glances at the stunned expressions on Nemo and Shakespeare’s faces, another smile and press of his tongue against his cheek. It’s disarming, the confidence there and the evil that makes the word evil seem less absurd in context. 

“Touchy subject, isn’t it?” Killian can’t seem to decide where to move. He wobbles on his feet, jerking between Emma, still on the floor, and his uncles, still tied up in their own goddamn chairs. His hand shakes when he reaches up to tug on his hair. 

“That’s not,” he starts, but the rest of the sentence gets caught in his mouth. “I’m so sorry.” “Can I get back to my story?” the Darkness asks lightly, and Emma doesn’t think before she reacts. She throws her hand out, swiping it through air that suddenly feels a bit like soup and the rush that flashes through her veins is as overwhelming as it is intoxicating. 

She’s got no idea what she’s trying to accomplish, only knows that she has to do something, anything, and Killian’s strangled Emma as soon as it happens seems to slink down her spine. Right next to the promises and the guarantees and that one, particular smile. 

Emma’s never actually seen a body fly across a living room that’s decorated well enough to belong in several different magazines and someone gasps when the Darkness slams into the far wall. It might be her. She might gasp. 

The Darkness laughs. 

Loudly. 

He stays down for a moment, shoulders shaking until he lifts himself up, sitting cross legged on the floor with his chin resting on his fingers. It’s ridiculous. 

“Power,” he says simply. “And it was never the dead man’s.” “Explain that,” Emma demands. She doesn’t remember standing, but her knees crack with the effort of it and there’s sweat pooling at the base of her spine. 

“Cora was wrong. Well, not entirely wrong, but not entirely right. You’ve always had magic, Savior. The power of your parent's True Love passed onto you. And that would have made you a valuable ally. But then you ended up here, in this town and in that house, with this very specific house across the street. 

“You grew up and you believed and you trusted and you fell in love didn’t you? You didn’t know what that would mean, but you were only a child, so I suppose it’s an acceptable naiveté. It festered in you and grew, every single time you were here and every single time you promised. That’s why it’s stronger in some places than others in this town. This house, the hill—oh, it’s rife with magic, that sort of thing always leaves a mark behind.” “You’re avoiding the answer,” Emma accuses. Her fingers twist at her side, something that feels like actual sparks shooting out the ends. 

The Darkness shakes his head. “I’m prefacing. There’s a difference. I’d hate for the dead man to accuse me of pitiful storytelling again. Your magic grew here, Savior and it latched onto the subject of your own True Love. That’s what Cora felt. That exchange and that want. It took root in him, even after you were gone.

“She believed that the dead man could do a job for me. Use his magic to help me retrieve a water that would bring my boy back. I needed magic to transport that water, and then if it didn’t work, I had his True Love power. Of course none of that was true, and the dead man was a stubborn fool.”

Emma sighs again, not sure where to look. She hates that it makes sense. She hates that she wants it to make sense even more, but she’s been on some kind of greedy kick over the last few days and a mythical, magical connection with Killian would almost be reassuring. 

The floor creaks when he moves. 

“Something about the sun, probably,” he mutters, and Emma’s laugh isn’t really that. It’s an exhale of disbelief and the absolute opposite of that. 

“Orbiting or whatever.” “It’s really not helping my non-stalker claim.” “Yeah, I’m kind of almost ok with that.” “That’s good news.” They really are very good at flirting at the most inopportune times. And the Darkness is standing up again, moving across the room with measured steps and a hint of magic that casts a shadow on the edge of Emma’s vision. 

“He’s a bit like a puppy dog, isn’t he?” the Darkness asks, and Emma doesn’t miss the acid there. He may be right and True Love may be a real thing that can alter the fate of the cosmos, but the villain of the story is very clearly starting to grow impatient with all of them. “Following you around as easily as if there’s a leash there. Doesn’t that bother you, dead man? It’s made all of this almost too easy.”

Emma lowers her brows in confusion, startled by the distinct lack of consistency in this conversation. Killian flinches, grimacing in something that might be pain. 

Of the excruciating variety. 

“Hey, hey,” Emma says, already drifting dangerously close to desperation. “What’s happening right now? Hey, look at me.” She can see every one of his teeth when he shifts his head, the cords of his neck standing out and the pinch of his forehead will probably last weeks. 

Emma hopes they have weeks. She’s suddenly not so sure. 

“C’mon, look at me,” Emma presses. She rests her hands on his chest, pulse racing under like it’s trying to prove a point. 

He might shake his head, but it’s difficult to tell, everything coming to some kind of metaphorical head and the Darkness is frustratingly silent. Emma’s eyes drag across his face, trying to find something or a clue and she can’t believe she just thought the word clue, even in her head. 

She gasps when Killian moves, wrapping his fingers around the end of his left arm and Emma wishes she’d stop just realizing things. 

It’s jarring. 

Particularly when the villain of the story has stopped being silent and started laughing again and he’s definitely taken lessons from comic books. 

“Magic,” Emma mumbles. Killian still hasn’t opened his eyes. And the Darkness is getting stronger – metaphorically and literally and it’s hard to see her own hand on Killian’s shirt. 

“Leaves a mark,” the Darkness says. His skin glitters in the shadows, a hint of light that doesn’t do much to help the twist of Emma’s internal organs. “I’d imagine feeling the loss of one’s hand when one isn’t, in fact, dead would be rather traumatic.”

He moves his eyebrows, letting them fly up towards his hairline and Emma has no idea what to do next. Her own magic feels like it’s fizzling out in her right foot. “What say you, dead man?” the Darkness continues. “Does it hurt a little bit?” There’s a muffled groan, but Emma isn’t sure if it comes from Killian or one of his uncles and she has to lean back when his head drops forward. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” Emma chants. She also wishes she could stop lying. “Just look at me. I’m right here. You’re fine.” She casts a glance towards Ruby, not sure what she’s looking for but the edge Emma suddenly finds herself perched on feels perilously steep. Ruby does her best to mumble something against the gag, jerking her shoulders and twisting her head until the fabric falls to her chin. 

She’s definitely kicked another goon in the process. 

“God, shit, fuck,” Ruby hisses, and Shakespeare may actually snicker. “Why’d you cut off his goddamn hand? Jeez, Em, the question is obvious.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “I’ve been a little busy.” “Yeah, yeah, sure. Hey, over here, Dark One—” “—You know, I do have a name,” the Darkness quips, easy as ever, but Emma is far too busy trying to avoid as much of Killian as she can to be bothered with it. 

“Yeah, I genuinely do not care. Why’d you have to cut off his hand? Wasn’t he already dead?”

“Oh yes, exceedingly dead. Six feet under, metaphorically speaking. As dead as a doornail. One foot in the grave. Several other clichés. But I needed to know why Cora was wrong. I could feel it you know, when I saw him, the magic—” “—Wait, you felt it?” Emma snaps. The Darkness smirks at her. 

“I wouldn’t have trusted Mr. Teach with a task quite that critical. After all, the water was gone and I still wasn’t sure where to find you, Savior. But then Mr. Teach summoned me and what did I find? A man with True Love magic practically percolating off him and, well, True Love has to work both ways, doesn’t it? So I took a little souvenir. It’s been a rather expansive plan, dearie, I’d think you’d almost be impressed.”

“Only if you explain it.” The Darkness’ eyes, well...darken, and Emma can feel her own magic react to that, a pleasant return, although the power she can tell is simmering in the pit of her stomach isn’t particularly good. It’s anger and something drifting closer to hatred and she wants to do something, wants to destroy and ruin and— “Emma,” Killian breathes. He’s still bent awkwardly in front of her, hair hanging in the minimal space between them, and his voice is barely that, but his fingers reach for her and that may be something. 

Or everything. 

“I’m here. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to...we’re going to figure it out, babe. It’s going to be fine.”

He makes a noise at the endearment that she absolutely, positively was not planning on saying, although, to be fair, she also wasn’t planning on telling him she loved him, so Emma can’t be all too frustrated with her own subconscious. It felt kind of nice to say anyway. 

“Don’t,” he says, a contradiction she doesn’t entirely understand. “Please.” Oh. She understands. 

And the shadows on the floor are getting longer – she’s positive. 

“I’m not leaving,” Emma promises. “Right here. I’m staying right here. No more running. I wouldn't. Not...we’re going to be ok, right?”

She means it as a confirmation, but it sounds like she’s double checking too. Killian grimaces. HIs hair is matted to his forehead, moisture on his cheeks that may be sweat or tears and Emma’s fingers tingle. 

“It hurts.” “I know it does. I know. I…” Emma’s head snaps around, trying to find something, anything, that will help but the Darkness is back on the couch and the goons are moving closer to them and she’s only like sixty-seven percent positive Ruby is trying to untie Nemo. 

Killian cries out, a flash of pain that Emma feels in every inch of her. His eyes fly open, not quite clear and not quite looking at her and something is very, very, inextricably wrong. 

He stumbles, wobbling on his feet as his knees buckle under him and Emma takes another step back, twisting her arms behind her. One of his uncles tries to move, but there are more punches thrown and Ruby’s heels should be marked as their own brand of weaponry and the tears on Killian’s cheeks feel as if they’re branding themselves on Emma’s soul. 

“What the hell is happening right now?” she demands. 

The Darkness giggles. Honestly. It’s a giggle and it’s horrible and horrendous and some other words that starts with the letter ‘h.’ 

Hopping off the couch, his feet barely making any noise on the carpet. They’re going to have to buy a new carpet. This one is probably marked or something now. 

And the shadows have started creeping up the wall. 

Emma can hear her pulse hammering in her ears as the Darkness moves towards her, slow measured steps that don’t match up to the sneer on his face. She ignores that for a moment, dropping to her knees instead to try and work her way back into Killian’s eye line. She can’t – his head is pressed against the floor, body taut with tension and an impossibly straight spine, a few noises every other second that sound like complete and utter agony. 

“It’s not real,” Emma says, another lie or promise she can’t keep and she doesn’t mean to gasp when he looks up at her. 

The expression there doesn’t make any sense. It’s not hatred, it’s more, the opposite of everything she’d felt during impossibly out-of-place declarations. The blue in his eyes has turned nearly black, everything a hint darker than it was a moment before. 

“You left.” Emma swallows, terror climbing up every one of her vertebrae and taking root at the base of her spine. Her eyes are ridiculously dry. It’s probably because she can’t remember the last time she actually blinked. 

“You left,” Killian says again, voice not quite as gruff as it had been. “You left. You said you wouldn’t and you did. You never came back.” “Killian, I…” “No, no, no, you left. You said you’d come back and you never did and then it was too late and everything got so quiet. It all stopped. Like I stopped. Just...drifting on waves.” Emma’s breath is coming in pants, not doing much to help the sting in her lungs and the possible crack forming in her heart. There are still tears on Killian’s face, falling over skin and into the scruff of a beard that’s become almost familiar and oddly comforting in the last few days. 

God, she wants to touch him. 

She wants to kiss him and fix this and stop whatever the hell is causing that look on his face. 

Like he hates her. 

Like he knows she’s wrong. 

“It got so quiet,” he whispers. “It was...I knew it was wrong and I...it was too late and I…” Killian trails off, face contorted in pain again. Emma’s hand darts out, a mistake and an instinct and those two words don’t seem like they should go together. 

The Darkness clicks his tongue. 

“I think,” he starts slowly, feet moving in front of Emma’s outstretched fingers, “what the dead man is trying to say is that he thought of you in his final moments. Isn’t that interesting? Some would almost say romantic.”

She doesn’t stand up easily, which is a little frustrating because Emma assumes the hero of the story should be able to support her own weight, literally and metaphorically, but she eventually gets back to her feet, rolling her shoulders and shaking her hair onto her back. 

It’s fake confidence, a mask and another, slightly more necessary, lie. And she knows she’s not fooling anyone, but she doesn’t have another plan and—

“Why’d you take his hand?” The Darkness laughs. “I needed it.” “Why?” “Several reasons. The first, and most important, was to find you. As I said, I could practically taste that magic. Sweet on my tongue as soon as I set foot on that deck. It almost made the blood less obvious.”

Emma bites on her lip to stop herself from making any noise – and the peanut gallery is doing enough of that anyway, low curses and louder grunts and Ruby’s taken one of her heels off, swatting at goon hard enough that it will definitely leave a mark. 

“There was quite a lot of blood, Savior,” the Darkness adds, nodding towards her like he wants to make sure she’s still a rapt audience. “Did you know that True Love magic has a tendency to focus itself in certain locations?” Emma shakes her head. She thinks she shakes her head. She’s not entirely sure how she’s still standing. “It does,” the Darkness guarantees. “Settles into something that’s of relative importance to the person. Of course, that’s usually the heart, but occasionally, it’s something else.” “And I couldn't take the dead man’s heart. People knew he’d left Storybrooke. He still had a family and Cora...oh Cora. She’d made so many mistakes, she severely limited my options. Luckily for her, there was another spot that felt particularly magical, maybe even more than the heart. I was pleasantly surprised.”

Emma falls over. 

It’s disappointing. 

So I can hold your hand. 

“His hand,” she mumbles, and the Darkness honest to God winks at her. 

“His hand. Chock full of magic. To an almost absurd degree. I knew that it would lead me to the true source of the True Love magic and, well, I’ll be blunt with you Savior, I had hoped it would lead me to you. Because, still being blunt of course, holding your True Love’s hand may be your greatest undoing.” Emma is never sure what happens next. She can feel the surge of something wash over her, a snap of fingers and rush of power and every single light on the entire goddamn street goes out. 

Killian screams. 

It feels a bit like being thrown into boiling pitch, every single one of Emma’s nerve endings jolting under her skin until she’s certain she’s being ripped apart at the seams and nothing has ever felt worse. Her head is on a swivel, looking for an ally or a friend or those people from her dream that she’s fairly certain she understands now, but there’s only darkness and a hint of laughter that lingers on the edge of everything. 

She crawls forward, trying not to get too close to Killian while also getting close to Killian. 

His whole body is shaking, vibrating with pain and the distinct feeling of being alone and trapped in that house for the rest of his life. 

“Killian,” Emma breathes, but he doesn’t look at her. She’s not sure he even realizes she’s there. “Killian, please! I’m...here. I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t real. None of it is real.” “Ah, I wouldn’t be so sure about that Savior,” the Darkness contends. “Because, you see, having that little bit of the dead man in my possession has made it very easy to get, well, forgive the pun, but to get a hand on that same dead man. He’s not magic. He’s been holding onto it, trying to remember and linger in it, a hint of a memory I’m certain was very comforting in his final moments. Did you think of her when you died, dead man?” The question hangs for a moment and Emma can’t hear Killian breathing. Until she hears him speaking. “That was…” he mutters, every letter an obvious pain, “all...that was all…” “That’s what I thought,” the Darkness says. “Would you look at that, Savior? You’re right smack dab in the middle of both of the dead man’s worst moments. Losing his brother and losing himself. And now I’ve got that as well. Right in the palm of my hand. Or his hand? Ah, the specifics don’t matter.” “Speak goddamn English,” Emma shouts. 

The smile disappears. Any sense of polite disappears. And Emma sees the Darkness for what he is, just that. The villain of the story and a man who’d stop at nothing for his magic and his power and the chance to have what he’d already lost. 

“I can control him,” he says softly. “Twist those feelings, that hint of magic to my own being. That’s why he had to know what you’d done to his brother. To clear your heart and purify your magic and make him absolutely, completely mine. Because you see, Savior, True Love is a two-way street, but I’ve just washed out his side of the road. You’ll still feel it, and he’ll have wisps of it, when I let him. So you’ve got one option now. Help me, bring back my son and, occasionally, I’ll let your dead man remember you.” “Or?” “Or, I’ll spend the rest of eternity making him live this moment on loop. And I’ll take you without your permission.”

Emma scoffs. It’s ridiculous. Although she isn’t certain she’s ever been more pissed off, genuinely and completely furious, the kind that burns straight through her and lingers in her toes, so she figures it kind of, almost makes sense.

“Fuck you,” she sneers, gaze snapping back towards Killian. He can’t look at her. Emma licks her lips, mind racing and heart racing and the magic she’s apparently full of feels as if it’s crackling between every strand of her hair. “Killian,” she says, softer that time and she’s got half an idea that may work. “How often did you go to the hill? After, I mean. When it was...when you were a kid, after me, and after I left. Did you go to the hill a lot?” He winces. 

It’s honestly not the response she was hoping for. 

“There’s got to be something good, Killian,” Emma presses. The floor creaks underneath the Darkness’ feet. She assumes that’s a sign. This might work. “Some memory or some moment. It wasn’t all bad, was it?” He can barely shake his head, eyes screwed shut in pain, but his hair shifts slightly against his forehead and Emma’s laugh rattles out of her. “No,” he breathes. “It wasn’t.” “He went up there all the time,” another voice adds, and Emma looks up to find Nemo's eyes serious and gaze intent as Ruby tries to work the gag away from his chin. “Every other day at least. If we couldn’t find him, he was there.” “Yeah?” Nemo nods. “He’s got a picture of you. Stuck in the back drawer of his dresser. I know—I know he doesn’t think we realize it’s there, but, well...we knew it was there. The whole time. You’re young and you—you’re holding—” “—A stuffed animal,” Emma mutters, another nod from Nemo. 

“I won it,” Killian adds. His voice is still questionably soft, as if it’s a struggle to even open his mouth. “It was one of those fair games. Knock over the milk bottles and win a prize.” “But I thought it was fixed.” “Yelled at the guy until you turned beet red.” “I did not,” Emma argues, and she can’t believe she’s arguing with a man who’s already died and feels like he’s dying and the Darkness sounds like it’s suffocating behind her. She can see Killian’s eyes a little clearer. They’re the right shade of blue. 

He shakes his head, half a smirk and all her smile. “No, Swan. You yelled and shouted and called him a downright dirty liar and you stomped your foot.” “Yeah, that might be true.” “And he gave me another round for free.” “So you could win me a stuffed duck with a lopsided bill.” “Ah, not everything is perfect.” “It felt like it was.” Killian hums – a sound that quickly turns back into pain and Emma’s breath hitches loudly. “You still left though,” he whispers. “I never—Liam was gone and no one could ever tell me and—” “I kept those pictures too,” Emma interrupts, and the light that flares around them is practically blinding. “The duck was...I think the duck got lost somewhere between Florida and Minnesota and a string of houses, but I kept those pictures and they’re—they’re in my room. Now. I always wanted to come back. For you. Because—” She doesn’t get the rest of the sentence out. Eventually that will frustrate her quite a bit. Eventually that will feel like the single worst thing to ever happen to her. 

The Darkness doesn’t scream. He doesn’t roar. There’s not much more than a low growl in the back of his throat, but Emma isn’t sure she’s ever heard a more threatening noise and his eyes look almost yellow when she turns towards him. 

Not entirely of her own free will. 

She almost misses the snap of fingers, any hint of light from her or the power of True Love of whatever gone in an instant and there’s a bottle of something in his hand. It’s liquid, that much she can make out, inky black and sloshing against the side of a glass vial that looks like it came straight out of an 18th century apothecary. 

It honestly may have. Emma has no idea how old the Darkness is. 

“I’ve had enough of this,” the Darkness says, deceptively even. “You’ve clearly picked the wrong option, Savior. I’d rather not spend much more time fighting against you and that stubborn streak of yours. Luckily,” he shakes the vial and Emma swears her blood runs cold, “I’ve got enough of this to keep you on your own leash for quite some time.”

He tosses the cork carelessly over his shoulder, suddenly in front of Emma and she kind of resents that everything seems to slow. 

It makes it far too obvious that Killian is also moving. 

And that there is not a single glove in sight. 

Emma shakes her head dumbly, a mumbled no that barely makes it past her lips and if Killian is certain her hair is capable of reflecting the sun, then she can come up with some equally sentimental nonsense about his eyes – something about the ocean and waves and the suddenly peaceful moments after a storm has cleared. 

“No,” Emma murmurs again, the lump in her throat too large. Her heart feels like it’s about to explode. “Don’t, don’t—” “You came back, Swan,” Killian says. He smiles at her. And wraps his fingers around hers, jerking her closer to his side when the Darkness flips the vial of something towards Emma. 

Or where Emma was. 

The liquid misses her completely, body flat against Killian’s chest. She doesn’t move at first, can’t bring herself to know what is already there, but someone screams and she’s fairly certain it’s Ruby. 

Emma digs her teeth into her lip, and he’s already colder than she expected, but he’s also just as solid and certain as she always imagined he’d be and his eyes are closed when she sits up.

“Killian,” she whispers, dragging the tips of her fingers over the curve of his cheek. He doesn’t move. He won’t. Because Killian Jones is dead – and that’s not going to change. 

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

the man was FILLED with easter eggs and metaphors. here they are!

1. being in the room where it happens

in the lyric video for the man, we see a woman working so hard to try and get to where all the men are -- on top, both physically and metaphorically. in the music video, we see The Man starting out here, just another normal day at the office. another normal day in charge, and on top.

2. “i’d be a fearless leader”

The Man not so much as walks into the room and makes a few comments before getting applause for his work. at the same time, every desk in this office can be seen with a mountain of papers, files, and books stacked on top of them. for all the hard work that these people are doing in this office, The Man gets all the applause for a fraction of it.

3. the subway

now, obviously what we have here is what you have on any and every subway or other form of local transportation -- that one asshole who feels entitled to take up as much space as he wants at the discomfort of everyone around him. while i could get into how mansplaining is a metaphor for men feeling the right to take up more space in society then women, i won’t. instead, i want to focus on all the little details on this subway that tell men they can. at the very, very top of the frame, we see text at the bottom of an ad that says “because you DESERVE what you want” and the posters on either side of The Man tell us “mother nature doesn’t stand a chance” and “capitalize on the feeling”. this is how society treats men. they should get to do whatever they want, based only on their feelings or wants. this notion will become important in the subway station.

shoutout to the girl in the miss americana hoodie! i think we can safely say she’s listening to lover on her headphones.

4. the newspaper

for this image, i turned the brightness WAYYY up so we could read the newspaper. the leading headline is “what man won the year in celebrity dating?” with the caption “who crushed it this year?” one headline says “years most eligible CEO’s” and another says “men in love in sports”. now, i don’t have to tell you that taylor swift was vilified for her relationships. these headlines show the difference between how men and women are treated when it comes to relationships. what’s it like to brag about getting bitches and models?

on the back cover, we see a contrast between how men and women are viewed in society. the ad dedicated towards men has a very strong and tough vibe to it, and the article beneath it carries the title “it’s men against boys with no ladies around.” in fact, the only mention we get of said “ladies” is in the “style section” where we see two sexy, rail thin women posing at fashion shows. while society views men for their strength, women are supposed to be objects of beauty and desire, and nothing more. 

5. here lies taylor swift’s reputation (and all her previous albums)

now, obviously, the sign says “missing, if found, please return to taylor swift” and grafitied on the walls are the names of the albums whose masters taylor does not own. remember when those ads on the subway told men that you DESERVE what you want? that’s what empowered The Men who stole taylor’s masters to take them. they wanted them, after all! let’s also remember that The Man is can be seen pissing on the wall in this shot. it’s a metaphor for The Men who own taylor’s old albums and are essentially pissing on all her hard work. we can also see “KARMA” written in big letters in the middle of all the albums, which invokes a lyric from look what you made me do: “all i think about is karma, and then the world moves on but one things for sure, maybe i got mine but you’ll all get yours”. pretty sure karma is coming for The Men who own taylor’s masters.

if you look closely, you can also see a sign to the left of The Man that says no scooters! sc*oter bra*n is not welcome at the 13th street station

6. “i’d be just like leo in st. tropez”

for your viewing pleasure, i have included an image of leo in st. tropez. we can see women in bikinis, and every sort of expensive, luxurious form of leisure you could think of. during the verse where we see The Man on the yacht, she sings “they’d say i hustled, put in the work, they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this i deserve”. this is reminiscent of The Man when he was in the office and how, no matter how much work he did or didn’t do, he is heralded as a genius. the point of saying she’d be just like leo in st. tropez is not to try and call out leonardo dicaprio for going a cruise and having some fun. people should be entitled to celebrate and vacation however they please. the point is that women should be able to do the same thing.

7. The Man’s “walk of shame”

this is a metaphor for how men in society are treated when they take a misstep. while women can be criminalized and thrown the wolves, it appears that men always have people on their team, and in this case, hands lining up to be high-fived. men often are not held to the same standards as women, and even when they do something wrong, they face very little backlash for it, and normally have their own set of groupies or supporters telling them that they were really in the right (and they are allowed to believe it).

at the back of the hallway, there hangs a portrait of The Man pointing at the camera, as if to say “you ARE the man.” it feels like uncle sam, but in a “ i want YOU for us army whatever your heart desires” kind of way.

8. world’s greatest dad

the bar for men is so low that when they do the very minimum (in this case, merely look after their own child), they get commended for it. imagine if this were a woman. would she be applauded? no, she would probably be reprimanded for being on her phone and ignoring her child, like The Man did here.

9. bragging

this one is pretty self-explanatory. what’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models? what’s it like when it’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad? in this scene, we see The Man telling all his buddies about the bitches and models and dollars, and then freaking out on somebody. 

10. raking in dollars

who's on the 100 dollar bill? he is! the serial number on this bill also ends in 13. i thought there might be more hidden goodies here, but if there are, the video isn’t in high enough resolution to tell. the only other thing i can make out was that it said “for motion picture use only” which i thought would be an easter egg until i rendered it in photoshop and could read it clearly. oh well!

11. raising money for the women’s charity

a problem we see in society a lot is people of privilege being an ally only by action, not by everyday behavior. here, we see The Man benefitting a women’s charity, but all throughout the video we haven’t seen him go out of his way to respect or give a voice to women. even in this shot, a woman stands on the sidelines while The Man takes all the glory. while he raises money for women, he has no other character traits that show he actually cares about them. 

in a different shot of this scene, a water bottle from taylor’s merch can be seen on the sideline.

12. the unimpressed umpire

this is taylor’s dad! his name is scott. in a video full of mediocre men, scott is our resident Good Man :)

13. the freakout

in 2018, serena williams unleashed on an umpire who accused her of cheating and stuck her with her third penalty of the game -- penalties the whole crowd was certain she did not deserve. she even said at the time “To lose a game for saying that, it’s not fair. How many other men do things? There’s a lot of men out here who have said a lot of things. It’s because I am a woman, and that’s not right.” this is a DIRECT representation of this. it’s as they say, it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s okay if you’re mad.

14. the hat

the hat our tennis attendant is seen wearing says “TS” in big letters, and in a circle around it, it says “i’d be a fearless leader, i’d be an alpha type.” taylor’s dad can also be seen wearing this hat.

15. the one where lover is NOT the happy couple’s first dance

first of all, this shit makes me SO uncomfortable. this is obviously an allusion to all the men who marry MUCH younger women, which is poignant because, again, taylor suffers mercilessly for her relationship choices, and they’re nowhere near as abhorrent as this. something also worth mentioning: scott borchetta is turning 58 this year. i’ll let you figure the rest out.

16. mr americana

any taylor swift fan will know that in january, taylor released a documentary with an intimate perspective on her life titled “miss americana” which focused a lot on the struggles taylor has overcome in her career. choosing miss americana to be a part of this video is a wise choice, because it highlights those same struggles that taylor is tackling in this music video. we can probably assume that mr americana faces significantly less struggles.

every part of this poster has been revamped to be man-centered, even down to the star role - tyler swift, not taylor.

17. take two

here, our director tells The Man that he needs to be sexier, and more likable. this reflects criticism that taylor and other women in the public eye hear almost daily. as i mentioned before, women in society are valued only as objects of beauty and desire, and here, we see the script flipped to bring that to light. 

in this final scene, we leave the fantasy world of the music video that The Man is starring in, and go to what appears to be a woman-dominated world, insinuating that the universe of the music video is one opposite to our own. this drives home the claim that if taylor were the man, she would be the man.

18. dwayne the rock johnson

i thought that having the rock voice The Man was really poignant. think about the rock’s career -- started out as a wrestler, is now an actor, but he’s known for his kindness and his dedication to social justice. if you asked me if he had ever been a part of any scandal, i would tell you no. and that’s exactly who The Man is. that’s exactly who this song is about, and that’s who taylor is. she has had an insanely successful career spanning over a decade, crossing into multiple different genres and fields, and excelling at all of it. she’s friendly, hard working, a social justice warrior, and a philanthropist. but all of those things are pushed aside in favor of the negative. using the rock as The Man was the perfect way of finishing off the statement,

“if i was a man, i’d be the man.”

[caltropspress]

FEEDBACK LOOP #6: Cargo Cults’ “Rammellzee”

Since these symbols and all symbols are drawn, infinity’s separation from all symbols must be shown through drawing. The only proof of such a separation of the infinity would be the understanding by the majority of the planetary peers. There is no other way.

—from IONIC TREATISE GOTHIC FUTURISM ASSASSIN KNOWLEDGES OF THE REMANIPULATED SQUARE POINT’S ONE TO 720° TO 1440° THE RAMM-ΣLL-ZΣΣ (1979, 2003)

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well.

—from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland

Riding among an exhausted busful of Negroes going on to graveyard shifts all over the city, she saw scratched on the back of a seat, shining for her in the brilliant smoky interior, the post horn with the legend DEATH. But unlike WASTE, somebody had troubled to write in, in pencil: DON’T EVER ANTAGONIZE THE HORN.

—from Thomas Pynchon’s The Crying of Lot 49

1.  I walk down the street and people look at me and say, “Who the hell are you?”

Cargo Cults (Alaska and Zilla Rocca) begin their track “Rammellzee” with the voice of the some-16 billion-years-old being himself. The song is an ode, an invocation. The organ sample provides a bizarre ride: a carousel of colors. We immediately plummet—into a well, a subway tunnel, a cosmos of linguistics. Not a nonchalant That’s deep, but a depth of knowledge where “cipher” means code, means Supreme Mathematics, means gathering with your rapfolk outside the Nuyorican Poets Cafe or in Washington Square Park: a deep connection. Mimicking Rammellzee, Alaska presents the listener with “swirling pages / forming mazes of [his] formulations” and subsequently “break[s] them down into a form that’s shapeless.”

2.  Hip-hop is ageist….In blues, you ain’t official until you fifty. (Ka, Red Bull Music Academy interview with Jeff Mao, 2016)

The phrase …of a certain age has, historically, been used euphemistically to describe someone (typically a woman) who has existed for a “shameful” tally of years. Society is still undoing the stigma, but rappers have made strides.

In Adult Rappers, a 2015 documentary directed by Paul Iannacchino (Hangar 18’s DJ paWL), Alaska is [accidentally?] presented twice in the closing credits—like a double, a separate persona—which calls to mind the multiple personalities of Rammellzee: Crux the Monk, Chaser the Eraser, Gash/Olear, et cetera. Age allows for maturation, for building, for bettering. In Rammellzee’s case—and I’d argue Alaska’s—it allows for complexity to emerge organically through wisdom. It allows for reinvention, for many versions of one’s self. Age and development is how an aerosol can with a fat cap can graduate to customized deodorant roll-ons and shoe polish canisters.

It begins with jerry-rigging a nozzle and ends in diagramming a “harpoonic whip launcher/pulsating extendor” to illustrate the deconstruction of letter-formations in the English alphabet. The spirit of experience pervades the Nihilist Millennial album. As anyone who has ever sat on the couch knows, communication can also improve with age.

3.

Artists and rappers like Rammellzee and Alaska rely on wild-styles, a self-made world that warps quantum physics and disregards notions of dimensionality. It’s dream-vision. It’s liberation. It simultaneously celebrates and critiques communication: like the image of a muted horn.

“Communication is the key,” cried Nefastis. “The Demon passes his data on to the sensitive, and the sensitive must reply in kind. There are untold billions of molecules in that box. The Demon collects data on each and every one. At some deep psychic level he must get through…”

“Help,” said Oedipa, “you’re not reaching me.”

“Entropy is a figure of speech, then,” sighed Nefastis, “a metaphor. It connects the world of thermodynamics to the world of information flow. The Machine uses both. The Demon makes the metaphor not only verbally graceful, but also objectively true.”

[…]

Nefastis smiled; impenetrable, calm, a believer.

The wordplay seems just that: play—that is, until you find the thread. Alaska cobbles together words like rubbish, W.A.S.T.E. Words appear daisy-chained together—flowery, ornate, and strung together by their stems: “fatalism, Fela Kuti, razor thin” / “smash the superstitions with acid tabs and some Sufi visions” / “deep dive Sonny Liston” / “Walt Whitman.”

The track reads like a codex. Something crafted in a scriptorium. His words are warfare—double-tracked/double-barreled—and he slips into braggadocio to prove it. It’s an authoritative posture of experience. Having started atomically small—from Breaking Atoms bedroom listening, to Atoms Family—Alaska’s flow presents nuclear now: maximum damage.

There’s a refinement to what this duo is doing: “Me and Zilla well-established with a lavish vision. / Both hands crusty with Ikonklastic Panzerism.” The boasts rely on royal diction: Camelot, palace doors, Prince Paul. Each man a king, a God, and each one should teach one. Mentor texts for the masses.

4.  

Rammellzee is an equation, And simply stated it’s the way of life I’m chasing. That’s why I praise the future-Gothic future-prophet. Gotta rock it, don’t stop it, Gotta rock it, don’t stop.

You find diversions on the song, exits into familiar chambers. GZA quotations (“I was the thrilla in the Ali-Frazier Manila”) and allusions to Main Source. Large Professor rapped “Dead is my antonym,” and if that’s to be proven true, money needs to be removed from the equation. The refrain of “Gotta rock it” not only calls to mind “Beat Bop,” Herbie Hancock, and Grand Mixer DS.T (or his later incarnation, DXT), but rockets—Afrofuturist angles, future shocks (Bill Laswell [Material], friend to Rammellzee, had a hand in all this). It’s not so much a “future-prophet” as a “future profit.” “Freedom in the process” means creativity without expectation, without the constraints of market value.

Alaska gives it to us straight: “I don’t care if you don’t like it, and I don’t care if you don’t buy it / ’Cause I find freedom in the process.” Despite becoming increasingly complex in his visual approach—like a heap of garbage that loses the definition of its component parts over the ages—Rammellzee understood time equals clarity of vision. A wasted world becomes a meaningful one. Of course, we got to pay rent, so money connects, but ownership of one’s art is about empowerment. “Selling out” is the opposite—an evisceration of one’s self and spirit. “We lost control from the second we sold the art,” Alaska raps. “We sold our future….We should be seeking enlightenment.”

The moment arrives, epiphanically: “I find freedom in the process so I’m grateful, / And that’s my main source: it’s my friendly game of baseball.” For Alaska and Zilla Rocca, it’s not a job—it’s a passion, a pastime.

5.  Nascent imagination deep inside a battle station.

Post-9/11 meant luxury apartments displaced Rammellzee’s Battle Station loft, his living museum. But the art has been excavated and exists posthumously. His Gothic Futurism and Ikonoklast Panzerism seem at home archived on the internet—a network that appears more like a chaos cloud. Rammellzee deconstructed and transcended language—junk monk scripts and calligraphic cut-ups of consumerism. His art is the empowerment a recycling arrow-triangle could only hope to be. Recycle is also rebirth. Rammellzee’s career path is circuitous, deep-tunneled (subway-esque), eternal.

Similarly, Alaska’s multisyllabic patterns are an endless barrage, like weaponized letters tilted sideways, like bottle rockets angled into a bottle’s neck: “Armament / Now my names are built like a BattleBot / Locked inside an ad hoc Camelot, I rather not / Tangle with a rabid lot, hop inside a rabbit hole.”

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, “and what is the use of a book,” thought Alice “without pictures or conversations?”

Boredom can make trouble, but boredom can also breed creativity. Alaska rather not spar with trolls under ISP bridges—though he’s equipped to. Instead, he channels his energies into material.

6.  Our culture is done. We lived it.

Near the end, Alaska paraphrases Rammellzee: “I’m not the first or the last to don the mask. / I see it as a title, I’m monastic with these raps.”

Living a life of art—making it regardless of accolade or monetary payment—is the highest form of creativity. Live the art and die by it, like Stan Brakhage, poisoning himself at a slow pace as he applied toxic dyes to celluloid film. Like Rammellzee executing graffiti pieces maskless, huffing the carcinogenic fumes.

MF DOOM (née Zev Love X)—a Rammellzee descendant—taught us how to revel in anonymity, the importance of not spotlighting yourself, but instead seeking out the shade, secret passageways, and the trapdoor in the stage floor. Not all of us heed the advice, but some do, and they feel the throb of real success, not the sort that shows up in bank statements and 401(k) plans.

Images:

“Beat Bop” test pressing, Rammellzee and K-Rob, art by Jean-Michel Basquiat, 1983 (detail) | Rammellzee black-and-white portrait photograph (unknown) | Ikonoklast Panzerism diagram from IONIC TREATISE GOTHIC FUTURISM ASSASSIN KNOWLEDGES OF THE REMANIPULATED SQUARE POINT’S ONE TO 720° TO 1440° THE RAMM-ΣLL-ZΣΣ (1979, 2003) | Page 34 (muted post horn) in Thomas Pynchon’s The Crying of Lot 49, Bantam Books edition (1966) | “A scribe at work,” from an illuminated manuscript from the Estoire del Saint Graal, France (Royal MS 14 E III c. 1315-1325 AD) | Herbie Hancock, Future Shock cassette cover (1983) | Grand Mixer D.ST comic book image (unknown) | Stan Brahage at chalkboard (unknown) | Stan Brakhage, Mothlight celluloid (1963) | “Beat Bop” test pressing, Rammellzee and K-Rob, art by Jean-Michel Basquiat, 1983 (detail)

[coasttocoastreads]

Welcome back to Week 2 of Coast to Coast Reads! Who’s still alive? Katya and I are dying while social distancing, but at least we had a few laughs discussing this book:

Crescent City (House of Blood and Earth) // Sarah J Maas

★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one two gif(s):

Real Summary:

Crescent City, a place where vanir (supernatural beings such as angels, fae, shifters, etc.) and humans freely mingle and go about their days. Bryce Quilan is a 20-something fae/human who’s still reeling from the murder of her friends 2 years ago. But after she’s commissioned to help search for an ancient artifact, Bryce, along with her new angel partner Hunt, unearth previously buried secrets about the murder that threaten to expose a worldwide conspiracy. 

Pros:

Great side characters. I would die for each and every one of them.

Lots of different mythological creatures! Not just another Fae Book™️

Cons:

It’s literally ToG 2-7 combined. If you read Throne of Glass, you’ve already been spoiled for this book. 💀💀💀

It’s wayyyy too long

Drags a lot in the beginning

Plot .5/5 (the .5 is for you, Lehaba)

What can I say. SJM literally plagiarized herself by taking the plotline of the tog books and translating it to this new setting. The writing itself was subpar, and most of the time it felt like the author herself had no idea where the plot was going, instead letting it drag on until a plot twist that makes no sense is revealed. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there.) I’ll compare CC with ToG with spoilers under the cut. 

Pacing 2/5

The beginning is full of info-dumping as SJM tries to set up this world which is metaphorically like ours, but everyone’s hot and does fantasy cocaine all the time.  It narrates boring day-to-day schedules that could have been condensed into a paragraph and at times I was tempted to skip ahead. The plot does pick up near the last 25% though, so I’ll give it that. 

Worldbuilding 2.5/5

It was confusing. To be fair, after all the info was dumped at the beginning, I didn’t bother going back to try to figure things out when they popped up again after. But like still??? I think I only started understanding the hierarchy of the government with the Asterrii(?). Also what are the Triarii I am still lost. SJM attempts to blend a more modern society with one of fantasy creatures, and for the most part it succeeds, but it often just feels...strange. I think the one thing I’m most hung up about is why swords and guns still coexist. Like ??????? it’s one or the other plssssss abandon the “aesthetic” Also while they literally have cell phones and keurig machines there aren’t common things like cars? Why.

Characters: (This is unconventional, bear with me)

Main Characters: -infinity/5 they could go die for all I care

Bryce and Hunt were both super unlikeable, 10/10 would let fall from a cliff. They are literally just rewrites of Aelin and Rowan? Bryce is like ahahaha yeah people think I’m Just a dumb vapid Female™️ who parties too much and gets trashed but SIKE I’m actually the chosen one and I’ve been hiding it this whole time because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings uwu. And did I mention I’m actually a trained Warrior who can keep up with The Boys? It’s Aelin y’all. There are numerous times where a character says that she’s not stupid and I’m like...are you sure... This girl makes the poorest decisions, yet ofc, there aren’t any long term consequences... (Also 99% of her problems come from ghosting people literally just respond with “k” sis)

Hunt is... idek what to say about Hunt. He’s just Rowan but in angel form. His inner monologue cycles between I must pay off my debt so I can gain Freedom 😔, why is Bryce so hot 🥴, and Shahar 😭. Once again, literally Rowan who also was bound to some evil villain, had the hots for their CENTURIES YOUNGER pupil/protectee, and had an old lover die tragically which led to them believing they can never find love again UNTIL BryLin comes along. Snooze. 

Side Characters: Infinity/5 

Ruhn Danaan was the most valid character and that’s the hill I’ll die on. He literally just wanted to protect his sister cuz she’s stupid af but she keeps pushing him away bc he’s an “alphahole” (haha how subversive :/) I want a whole book about him and Hypaxia, preferably fanfiction so I don’t have to read “soft feminine breathing” ever again.

Literally all the supporting cast- Lehaba, Therion, Ithan, Jesiba, Flynn, Connor, etc, etc. had more compelling characters and side stories than Bryce/Hunt. I was 100% more invested in them and I can’t wait to read/write more about them. 

(Pls let me marry Jesiba Roga or Therion 🥺)

But while the people on the “good” side were spectacular, the villains all felt one-dimensional and the product of over-recycled and overused tropes mashed together. Sandriel and Pollux are literally just Maeve and Cairn (is that his name)

I’d recommend for:

People who loved Throne of Glass and are lamenting the absence of new content. Please read about Rowaelin 2.0

People stuck at home during this global crisis and have too much time on their hands. (If you need that free epub, hmu)

People who are willing to skip all scenes that feature just Bryce and/or Hunt 

People who hate themselves

Would I travel here?

Sorry, what? Already shredded my passport, not getting a replacement, sorry. 

Overall thoughts:

I wish I could somehow take those hours of my life back but alas. 

See y’all in two weeks with a hopefully better book selection,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

Okay time to VENT

OKAY so CC=ToG, let’s break down how

Danika’s death is the Nehemia Incident, setting the mc up for a journey of self discovery/reclaiming their power. They both show up as ghosts later to encourage mc in a time of great self-struggle.

Syrinx if Fleetfoot. bc all female mc’s need a pet to reveal her Feminine and Soft side

Sandriel and Pollux are Maeve and Cairn. Evil female character with vast power and her torturer? COOKIE CUTTER FORMULA. The scene where Bryce offers herself up for Hunt in the lobby also kinda mirrors that scene in..HoF? QoS? Don’t remember, but pretty sure that happened. Also that scene was so fucking dumb, I really thought Bryce had a Smart Plan, but I was bamboozled once again. 

A gem from my notes: “Bryce is Aelin but with cocaine”

I think the whole demon portal thing is a ripoff of ACOWAR (or is it KoA I can’t even remember), sacrificing yourself to close the rift, etc, etc. 

Anyways, Bryce = Aelin, a party-girl front with a sob backstory that’s her superpower origin story who always has a Plan. 

Hunt = Rowan, broody warrior busy repaying debts getting orders they don’t want while pining over a lost love. They reluctantly let the female mc in and voila they’re in LOVE

The whole “plot twist” that revealed Hunt’s true plan along was so fucking dumb...

It wasn’t a plot twist, it was just plain bad writing

There was no set up at all, nothing alluding to Hunt secretly masterminding an attempted coup with the help of Magic Meth

The whole time I was like “...this is part of their plan right. There’s no way he legit planned this...”

Character’s POVs should reveal what they’re thinking, even if you’re just hinting at something to reveal later...this was just lazy

Another thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the sudden reveal that Fury and Juniper had been in a relationship the whole time? Despite like above, there was no prior allusion to that?

It felt like half-assed representation at best and completely irrelevant to the story with it coming up again in a throwaway line near the end

Also? I’m fairly certain there was a scene in the beginning where they were all out clubbing and Juniper hooked up with some rando while Fury was also at the club with them? Was this before they got together or did SJM insert this so last minute that no one caught it?

Wtf is sunball. Can someone just help me out here.

Some people have been saying Hunt is Asian coded? Where???!!!!! All I’m seeing is the same stuff she pulled in ACOTAR where all the Illyrians were tan so people could claim they were poc for woke points but not get in trouble for art depicting them as white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SJM pls stay away from “like calls to like” you don’t deserve it

[thetypedwriter]

Only Mostly Devastated Book Review

Only Mostly Devastated Book Review by Sophie Gonzales

You know those feel good movies that are short and sweet and fun while you’re watching it, but mostly forgettable? You all know what I’m talking about. It’s the experience of something that is fine, enjoyable even, but largely unnoticed on the grand scheme of things?

Only Mostly Devastated is like that. 

Now, before the fangirls attack, let me just say that what I commented above is not an inherent criticism. Not every novel that I read, or people want to read, has to be a masterful prose full of epistemological queries and agonizing philosophies on life.

 Sometimes you want something sweet and fluffy, like cotton candy, to fill in the times when your brain needs a break. A good book does not necessarily equate to a challenging book, although English teachers in school will have you believe otherwise. 

Sometimes books can just be fun. 

Only Mostly Devastated tells the queer book version of Grease, down to allusions making its way even on the front cover. The plot is basic in its storytelling. The main character, Oliver, is staying in North Carolina for the summer with his parents as they help out his aunt while she receives treatment for cancer. During the summer, Oliver has a not-so-summer-fling with a boy named Will that both think will end when Oliver moves back to California at the end of the season. 

But lo and behold! Oliver’s parents decide to stay in North Carolina for a year to help out, forcing Oliver to spend his last year of high school far away from home and unbeknownst to him, attend the same high school as his beloved Will from the summer. 

However, predictably, Will from summer and Will the basketball player that Oliver meets in high school, seem to be two different people, with Oliver trying to reconcile why the boy he loves is pretending like he doesn’t exist. 

This book...isn’t original. In any way, shape, or form. From the plot, the characters, the dialogue, and even the writing, nothing about this stands out too much to me. 

Again, this does not make it a bad read, sometimes you want light and easy and predictable, but it does make it a forgettable one. 

The plot is fine. It’s sturdy, it works for what Gonzales is trying to achieve, which is mainly the love story between Will and Oliver. She does try to throw some other things in there, like putting a side character who is struggling with being bisexual, another side character with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), some light stuff on body image, other airy commentary on fetishizing people’s sexualization, and of course, the death and loss of a loved one and the grieving process that goes with it. 

Now, you might be saying, wow, thetypedwriter, what are you thinking? That is so much stuff that she put into her book! Incredible! How can you call it shallow and predictable?

Well, for one, the book is short. While again, nice for those readers who want something light to carry on their way to tan by the pool, great, but for those readers who want something more, this can be frustrating. 

For an in-depth reading experience for any of those themes above, hitting the tip of the iceberg would be putting it lightly. The book skims the surface of those topics, but they aren’t delved into in any semblance of sophistication or depth that would actually make this a more memorable read. 

Reason two, Sophie Gonzales does come across quite preachy sometimes. 

Now, this can be tricky so let me explain. Putting forth your agenda or your beliefs and values in a book is not an erroneous thing to do. Actually, it’s an amazing thing to do and people have been using books as a form of expression for these types of things for centuries. Some may argue that the intrinsic value of a book is to express such opinions. 

However, this is not Sophie Gonzales’ biography, nor is it an opinion article about how she feels about the fetishization of girls kissing girls for male entertainment. When you are going to put your opinions and beliefs into your book, it needs to make sense in the scheme of the characters. 

For example, if J.K. Rowling randomly had Ron go on a speech about women’s rights and toxic masculinity, it would be out-of-character and baffling since Ron would not be the character to say such a thing. 

However, if Hermione were to give such a speech, the ideas and beliefs would be passed along, message received, but without breaking character or pulling me out of the universe to think what the hell because a sermon came out of left field that held no continuity in the scheme of the novel as a whole. 

This happened to me quite a lot in Only Mostly Devastated. It was like Sohpie Gonzales got to a certain point, told her characters to step aside, and then got on her soapbox to preach about love and acceptance. 

Once again, I’m not against any of the messages she’s portraying at all. 

What I think lacked finesse, however, was the way in which she got those messages across, which was often out-of-character and forced the plot to go certain places just so she could get the chance to talk about those issues. 

With that out of the way, other slight criticisms I have mainly are to be found with the characters and the writing itself. 

The characters were all likable enough. I’m not about to go write fanfiction about any of them though. They were largely generic, although entertaining enough for what this book is offering. They were also all pretty forgettable and formed pretty forgettable relationships as well. 

Do I really remember any of Will’s friends? Nope. What about Oliver’s girl squad? Kind of? I did appreciate the attempt at including more characters of color, including Will.

I do think that Lara was the most interesting character. I honestly would have preferred to have had a whole novel about her rather than told from Oliver’s point-of-view, simply as Oliver is basic as all hell (white boy that plays guitar and is slightly awkward. I’ve only seen this character about 10 million thousand times before).

 And if Gonzales had written this novel about Lara instead, all of her themes would have worked infinitely better. You still get the struggle with sexuality, you still get the side POC characters with PCOS and body image issues, and you could still have the plot of loss and death if you wanted to. 

The friendship with the girls would make so much more sense, the fetishization topic could have been delved into way more thoroughly, and Lara was kind of a bitch, and I appreciated that about her. You would even still get a musical person in the form of Juliette even without Oliver on the scene. 

But, nope. We get Oliver. Which is...fine. Mediocre, but fine, I guess. 

Lastly, Gonzales is a perfectly average writer. The story flowed, it was funny, it had its moments of nuance and sarcasm, but there were moments where she would make comparisons, always with similes or metaphors, that left me literally confounded because of how bizarre and out-of-place I found them. 

Some examples:

1. “Up close, she smelled like sugary flowers.” 

-I’m sorry, but what do sugary flowers smell like? Why are the flowers sugary? Who would even sugar their flowers in the first place?

2. “Deep inside my chest, my heart was beating as though it was trying to tear free from bondage.”

-Just...an extremely odd choice of words. Why bondage, Sophie Gonzales, why?

3. “I’d rather floss with barbed wire, than watch a live sports match…”

-Ummm eww and scary?

I could go on and on with the frankly awful choices for comparison that are made in this book with incessant use, but I think you get the point. The similes and metaphors were downright baffling. Not really sure what Gonzales was going for with them, but...no. Just no. 

Lastly, Oliver’s nickname Ollie-oop made me want to curl up and die. It didn’t make them seem like better friends. In fact, the whole rose gold-girl-group and Oliver was such a dumpster fire of a friendship that lacked any and all actual solid foundations for a relationship that it annoyed me, especially in the end when Oliver decides to stay in North Carolina to be with people he’s not even close to. 

Additionally, the inclusion of Oliver’s two friends from back home was just...pointless, utterly pointless. I don’t even know why she bothered to write them into the story honestly. They added nothing. 

Again, her themes are good in nature and provocative in theory, but the book was just too short and shallow to justify writing in any of it when really all she cared about was Will and Oliver sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. It was almost like fanfiction, but published. Actually, nope, I think fanfiction is better. 

Wow, I guess I had more feelings about this book than I thought, mostly negative too. 

Once more, I want to heavily emphasize that I DIDN’T HATE IT. It was a super, light, super cute, very simple book that I’m sure a ton of people will appreciate right now with everything heavy going on in the world.

 If you need a book in cloud form, this is your novel. But....if you wanted something more like me, if you found it just a little too simplistic in nature, just a little too forgettable, then that’s okay too. 

Recommendation: If you’re too burdened down by carrying your sunscreen and your cooler out to the pool, this is the perfect light summer reading to tuck under one arm and melt your worries away for a little while. If you want an actually good, actually complex and refined LGBTQ+ coming of age novel then I’d definitely go for the likes of Red, White, and Royal Blue or Autoboyagraphy instead. 

Score: 5/10 

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France season 3, episode 2 reaction

Skam France is really leveling up

Eliott Demaury, raccoon enthusiast is the best creative decision they’ve ever made

Episode 2

Clip 1 - surejan.gif

Is the B-roll or w/e at the start of the clip the same place Lucas was brooding in the first clip of the season? It’s probably reading too much into it but I like that those two dudes on the bench are there for a reason, like mirroring Lucas and Eliott at the end of the last episode, sitting with space between them (no Chloé in the middle, though).

Lucas scrolls through his phone looking for Eliott. He doesn’t find him, but he does find a friend request from Chloé, which he accepts after a moment’s hesitation. Son, she’s going to take that as a marriage proposal.

Mika plops down beside him and nags Lucas about the rent. Now that Manon’s parents are no longer financing Lucas’ rent, seems like he’s behind. Can I just mention that Mika and Lucas look like they could be related? I know it is a running Skam fandom joke that the Evak couples look related (sometimes said with underlying homophobia IMO BUT I’m not going to go into that rant now) and I’ve seen people say Lucas and Eliott look similar, but Lucas and Mika are the ones who stick out the most to me. Actually, Lisa too. If you told me that this was an apartment of like ... three siblings being gay and cranky at each other, I would buy it. 

Notifications are going off on Mika’s phone. It’s because Mika changed his profile pic, which he helpfully shows to Lucas/the viewers - I mean, I can get why his phone is blowing up, not gonna lie. No dick from what I can see, but you know. Suggestive. Pubes are clearly visible.

Lucas is like, I don’t want to see that! Well, I don’t think Lucas objects to naked men but I believe him in this instance because Mika is fulfilling the big brother role. Mika teases him about seeing what a man’s body looks like. Don’t worry Mika, in like a month Lucas is going to have very thorough knowledge of what a man’s body looks like.

Mika then asks for Lucas’ advice on a straight dude who wants a blowjob. Does he want it for himself or to do it to Mika? He helpfully imitates a blowjob that freaks out Lucas. I mean, it kinda freaks me out, I had war flashbacks to that grapefruit technique video. (If you have not seen that video, all I’m going to say that it is highly NSFW, not to be watched in public or if you have a heart condition, and I’m sorry.)

Mika is like, if you want to suck dick, you’re not that straight. Lucas is like, well, maybe he wants to try. Maybe that guy is just curious! HMMM Lucas, interesting train of thought. I’m sure you have no personal investment in this debate whatsoever. Mika helpfully shows Lucas’ a picture of the “curious” guy’s butthole. That Mika, being so helpful today.

Lucas gets up because he doesn’t want to spend his weekend looking at naked guys. Well, maybe not guys, plural. Again, in about a month you’re going to look back on that comment and laugh, bro. 

Mika and Lisa agree that Manon was funnier. Lmao, I kinda love how they’re so unimpressed with Lucas. 

Clip 2 - Light and dark

Lucas walks into school on Monday morning and … goes through an attendance book? He didn’t even hesitate, this guy does not give a single shit, does he? He’s just going to grab love by the balls. The camera puts us in Lucas’ POV by focusing from top to bottom like it’s imitating Lucas scanning the list, which is a good detail. Skam France had some POV issues I didn’t care for in previous seasons so this feels more carefully thought out. 

Just as I’m noticing Raptor Alex’s name above Eliott’s, the man himself appears. Oh yeah, they’re supposed to be pals now. They have a short conversation where Lucas is like, WHOOPS, silly me taking the wrong book! When Alex asks for the register, Lucas snakes out and distracts him by congratulating Alex on him and Emma. Alex is like, “Huh? Did Emma tell you that?” Well, they were obviously making out at the party and hanging out together in their IG stories, so while it’s maybe an assumption that they are 100% a couple, there’s obviously something going on between them.

I’ve never really been like ... dying for Isak/P-Chris friendship or interaction post-S2, although I think it could have been interesting. Plus, Chris had graduated by S3 so there weren’t as many opportunities for them to interact. But it’s a nice follow-up here since Raptor Alex is still in school with them. (Was he supposed to graduate along with Charles last year, though? I totally forgot. It feels like those seasons aired forever ago.)

Bell rings, Lucas scampers off with the register. I was like, “Wait, did he even put it back?” until Alex calls after him for it, lmao. I like to imagine that it’s just gone forever, a casualty of love.

In the classroom, Lucas looks up Eliott on his phone. Unlike Isak, he has the wisdom to plug in earbuds before listening to anything.

He’s looking at a crowdfunding page for a project of Eliott’s. It’s noted that the project closed and that the funding was not reached, and that detail punched a hole in my heart. Instant poignancy, instant affection for Eliott. We don’t know the circumstances yet of why he didn’t meet his goal, and if it was at all related to his manic/depressive episodes - perhaps a nice bit of foreshadowing if it turns out they are related - but it’s automatically sympathetic to learn someone had a dream that went unfulfilled. 

In a video, Eliott is talking about his project - a film called Polaris, about two characters and a tunnel. One is a boy, and one is not specified, (a boy, a girl, a creature) which I think is hinting at Elliott’s pansexuality, that he’s okay with any gender, it doesn’t matter to him. The second character does not leave the tunnel, because they are afraid of the light, and they meet the boy, who’s afraid of the dark. They can’t live in each other’s worlds so they chat at the border without ever seeing each other. They talk and fall in love but never meet until one of them decides to conquer their fears and go to the other’s world.

So there’s a lot of obvious symbolism here. Tbh, it’s pretty on the nose and I wish they’d toned it down just a smidge, since this is like … probably exactly what is going to happen with them for either their first kiss or their version of O Helga Natt (or both), but I still appreciate the effort a lot and am eager to see it in action. This is what I wanted from S3 remakes, for each of them to develop their own symbolism that fits their characters, because Isak and Even’s symbolism is so specific to them, their names and their story, that you inherently lose something when you transplant it to other versions of them. The concept of rebirth is really beautiful in a gay love story about coming out and being born as one’s authentic self; I think the idea of light and darkness being used in a similar way - especially in terms of a coming out narrative, being in darkness, coming into the light - could also be beautiful, and of course there are the ideas of having to be brave in order to live with each other, very relevant for an m/m couple in a homophobic society and for someone like Eliott who would be afraid to get close to someone due to his mental illness. It also works in the sense that neither of the characters in the film see each other until they get over their fears - both Lucas and Eliott have baggage and neither will really “see” or understand each other truly until they confront their respective issues.

Right now it seems like Eliott would be the one in the tunnel and Lucas is the one who’s afraid of the dark, and Lucas is going to have to leave his world to be with Eliott. Because well, this is supposed to be Lucas’ story, and the name “Lucas” is associated with light, or meaning “light-giver” or something similar. We know that one episode is called “the boy who was afraid of the dark” and that’s probably referring to Lucas since it’s his POV. At this point in the story, too, we aren’t supposed to know that Eliott is mentally ill, we don’t know he’s struggling, so we might also think that it’ll all be on Lucas to change in order for them to be together. But I think it’s also plausible that maybe they’ll switch roles over the course of the season, they both take turns in the light and in the dark. Maybe Lucas steps into the dark for the first kiss, conquering what he’s afraid of, then he steps into the light for the O Helga Natt equivalent. Or Lucas steps into the dark for the kiss, Eliott must step into the light for O Helga Natt. There are many ways it could go. But this is also what I like about them changing the symbolism, it leads to this kind of speculation. 

I’d like to see Lucas and Eliott being a little more strongly contrasted, too, sort of like they’re ... polar opposites, eh? OK, not that corny and not that they need to be so different that they can’t get along. I just think it’d be interesting with the light and dark metaphor to have them be clearly different in some ways, personality-wise, arc-wise. I want to see their separate worlds highlighted at some point.

Also want to mention that you could perhaps apply this imagery to certain scenes already, like in the first clip of the season you had Lucas in the daytime, light reflecting off the water and through the trees, but he’s not really comfortable there, he’s alone and detached. Later that night, Lucas making out with Chloé in the hallway sort of put him in shadow (or that might be Skam France’s lighting in general, IDK). Might be a reach but it’d be interesting if those choices stacked up throughout the season and reflected the larger metaphor, when we see who’s playing what role.

Polaris itself is “the brightest star in the constellation of Ursa Minor” so that’s another nice allusion to light in itself.

Imane shows up and scares the bejesus out of Lucas. She was going to give him the weed, but he ruined it by being a weenie. However, he redeems himself by expressing interest in the common room project and saying he’ll be at the next meeting. I wonder what changed his mind? Daphne’s enthusiasm? No matter, Imane must see some progress in Lucas, like he needs a reward for good behavior, because she decides to give him back the weed.

He’s grateful, but the teacher sees their drug exchange and wants to know what’s going on. When she asks to see what’s under the table, Imane whips out some tampons and says Lucas brought them to her. LMAO, that’s pretty funny. 

She calls out the teacher for humiliating her in front of everyone, which is also funny, although I kind of feel bad for that teacher, lol. We haven’t seen her be a racist yet like Isak and Sana’s teacher, and I mean ... her students were passing drugs under the table, she wasn’t wrong about them being shady.

Arthur and Alexia laugh at them in the background. I want to know what’s going on over at that table! We can have two pairs of classroom buddies!

Lucas and Imane both laugh so that’s really the kickoff to their friendship. Tampons: saving the day, bringing people together. Tampax should make it into a commercial.

Clip 3 - Questionnaires

It’s the common room meeting, just the girl squad and Lucas, and they’re going over the questionnaires that people filled out. The consensus is that the common room sucks, and people make dirty comments when anonymous (literally the least surprising thing ever if you have ever seen a bathroom stall or any comments section on the Internet).

Daphne kicks out Emma when she gets a phone call and Lucas laughs along with the others. He seems way happier and more comfortable with the girl squad than with anyone else so far, and I think a lot of that is because there isn’t the pressure to maintain a typical hetero fuckboy persona with them as with the boy squad. They’re just girls engaging on a dorky project, so he can just relax.

Alex reads another questionnaire and the answers are all about Daphne. Lucas confirms that the phone number on the page is Basile’s. Daphne looks done with it, she’s caught him staring and drooling, she doesn’t get why he’s into her all of a sudden. Man, I’m already sick of Basile, he’s like Magnus from hell. Especially because Daphne is so not into it, and the fact that she’s noticed him salivating him over her makes it worse. I think it’s for comic relief but it quickly went to creepy territory, and I hate that they’ll likely hook up at some point. Please please don’t go there.

A lot of the questionnaires mention they dislike the mural, so I bet they’ll paint another one at some point, and I bet Eliott will have an idea that they use, being the artsy guy he is. Also, everyone wants them to throw a party so I’m sure that’ll be the setup for either the neon party or the Christmas party (whatever takes the place of those scenes).

Lucas reads another questionnaire that requests a vending machine (reasonable) and a nudist day once a month (not so reasonable) and I was gonna say it was Eliott’s form, because of the vending machine connection and probably some painful foreshadowing toward the hotel naked incident, but actually it’s Alexia’s form, LMAO. She wants the eye candy of naked guys and girls. A nice way to integrate her bisexuality since she’s into naked guys and girls. 

I notice that Alexia has a little rainbow patch on her jeans, so I’m hoping that they’ve taken feedback from earlier seasons and will more directly address her sexuality. I know her ex Clara has been listed in the credits, so that’s very promising. I hope they keep it up and maybe Lucas can connect with her over being LGBT, well, G and B, respectively.

Emma comes back and complains that Alex thinks she’s been telling people they’ve been going out when they’re just hooking up, but Lucas does not care (even though he is responsible for giving Alex that impression) because Eliott walks by the window. Lucas hauls ass out of there and goes out to find him - give him some credit, Lucas is being pretty upfront about approaching Eliott, or going after what he wants so far. What is that gonna end up meaning to his overall character arc? I’m fine with that approach to Lucas’ character, I’m just curious how it will affect his overall characterization from beginning to end. Because Isak wasn’t a total wallflower, he did pursue Even in his own way, but I felt like because he also could be reserved and shy about Even, it was narratively significant when he took certain steps for clear reasons to his personal growth. (I think Lucas and Isak are maybe not all that different about their approaches so far, just slight ways that make it seem Lucas is bolder - like going up to Eliott at the vending machine himself, grabbing the register instead of walking by a list, running after Eliott instead of standing still and locking eyes with him).

Before Lucas can go stalking, he runs into the boy squad. Yann is like, were you in the common room? Spending a lot of time with the girls, eh? Like is he just being a dick about that, because Lucas is choosing the girls over the boy squad, or does he think Lucas wants to hook up with one of those girls? Or is this more about the common room project seeming stupid to him?

Of course Basile has to ask about whether Daphne is thinking about him, GOD please shut him up. Arthur tells him Daphne doesn’t care about him. The hero we need. 

Lucas looks around the courtyard but no Eliott in sight. ur boys cockblocked u, bro

Chloé and Maria come up and invite the boys to their party on Friday. Maria’s fucking cute when she’s not puking, she does a little dance with the invitation. Lucas tries to say they have plans but Arthur’s like, no we don’t! We’re coming! No, Arthur, don’t say that, you know Basile is going to be a creep about it.

The squad gangs up on Lucas for saying no, because you’re always supposed to say yes to partying with girls, and it’s played for laughs with their reactions and stuff but really it is shitty how these guys don’t want to listen to their friend. I mean, let’s say situations were reversed and Lucas was a girl who said “this guy is stalking me.” We’d all be like, get away from that dude, you don’t have to spend time with him, right? Or we’d hope that girl’s friends would say so.

Lucas says Chloé has been clinging to him and it’s stressing him out, and Arthur’s like, I don’t get you, she’s into you, but you’re stressing out? Lucas is clearly stressed by this conversation and that he can’t tell the boys what’s up. All that pressure to like girls is draining him.

I think it is important to keep in mind that Isak also felt isolated from the boy squad at this point in the story, for similar reasons: he had a big secret that he couldn’t tell them, and he felt like he had to like girls to fit in with them, and they put pressure on him to hook up with girls, talk about girls, go to parties with girls. What I think is the big difference, and why it feels perhaps more noticeable with Lucas, is that Isak didn’t have the interaction with the girl squad other than Sana blackmailing him and Vilde annoying him, so we didn’t see him have this friendly outlet where he’s relaxed. In fact, the first time in his season we see him really start to relax and be himself is with Even. I think that contrast was valuable toward establishing Isak’s connection with Even, showing Even as someone who brings Isak out of his shell. But with Lucas, first he is able to laugh together with Imane - Isak and Sana had a moment but they weren’t like giggling together after Isak told off the racist teacher - and second he seems to be having a good time at the common room meeting. Then he goes to the boy squad and it immediately becomes tense. However, I don’t have a huge problem with Lucas laughing a bit with the girl squad here. It makes him seem somewhat less socially isolated, since he seems relaxed with them (even if this isn’t the deepest or most intimate interaction), but it still provides contrast to his interaction with his male friends. It would be nice if the story highlighted this a little more later on, as to why Lucas might feel more comfortable with the girl squad and not the boys when he’s closeted. 

Clip 4 - Polaris

At home, Lucas watches the animated storyboard for Eliott’s Polaris video. A guy and another person of ambiguous gender meet just outside the tunnel in the rain and finally kiss.

I like that Lucas got to watch the project itself (or a storyboard of it) and be invested in it. That’s something I loved about Isak watching Even’s video and then watching R+J - he got to fall for Even watching him be funny and strange talking about his Cap/Putin video, and then he got to watch a movie that Even loved and that awakened these very emotional parts of himself. He got to see a great love in action and wish for that for himself, he got a glimpse of Even’s soul from the art Even loves. Lucas does something similar here in that he gets a glimpse of Eliott’s creative mind, something very personal, and fall for him further, and Eliott’s video is also about great love that Lucas feels that he wants in his own life, it chips away at that facade he’s put up, the lie he’s living. Good adaptation.

The only thing is I suspect that their first kiss or O Helga Natt is probably going to go heavily like that storyboard, if not exactly, which will likely be beautiful, but again, slightly on the nose for me. To be fair, obviously Isak and Even’s first kiss imitated Romeo + Juliet closely; I guess this being Eliott’s own creation/vision vs Even’s fanboying a film by his favorite director makes it a little more OTT, like if a scene from a novel I’d written came into my life, I’d feel weird and self-conscious about it. But that’s just me! I can also see why it’d matter to Eliott, to take this longing and make it a reality. But I think I’d rather just see him make his actual film, accomplish his passion project, than to recreate it in his own life. Maybe because, filming a beautiful love story and falling in love in real life fulfill two different parts of one’s self -  one’s artistic creations are not substitutes for one’s social connections and vice versa - and Eliott’s unfunded film is a thing on its own that’s very poignant and begs to be carried to completion. Does that make sense? IDK, I’d like those big scenes to have similar themes and imagery but not like his storyboard come exactly to life. We’ll see how it goes.

I think it’s a little murky why Lucas searches for the “gay chat” - like is he trying to find Eliott there, or is he looking for any type of connection? Think it’s the former since that was shown more explicitly with Isak, but I guess you can say he’s just testing the gay waters.

The gay app that Lucas downloads features the picture of Skam France director David Hourrègue, much like Skam Italia had their male director in the gay app. (The directors look a tad similar, or is that just me?)

Lucas looks through pictures mainly of disembodied abs and bulges, until he stumbles upon Mika’s picture, and HA, that’s a REALLY good gag, hats off to Skam France. I remember being annoyed because they recreated the Jonas cunnilingus walk of fame in their season 2, except with none of the build-up that made the Jonas scene funny and emotionally resonant (with Eva’s reaction), so it lacked the impact and was just kinda there. This actually had some setup, good job.

Clip 5 - Two bros chillin’ at a bus stop

The boys are getting ready to go to Chloé’s party later and Basile starts talking about how he’ll get with Maria and I’m already so over this, please God let them talk about anything else. I get that this girl talk is establishing the overwhelming heteronormativity and pressure to pursue girls among these teenage boys, but like, let’s hear from Arthur about his hookup techniques, or if there’s a girl Yann likes, anything but Basile being a creep yet again.

He talks about calling himself “Daddy” to Maria as if I wasn’t already thoroughly horrified out by him. FUCK no. 

And the guys are like, I thought you were all up in Daphne’s business? Basile basically doesn’t care, one girl or the other will do, ughhhh GODDDDD.

They tell Lucas that he’s paying for the beer because they’ve taken their turns paying. Lucas waits at the bus stop, texts his dad for rent and grocery money, then texts Mika for money (presumably to buy the beer). MEANWHILE, a figure in a familiar brown coat sits down. I can’t quite tell from the angle, is he sitting in the next seat or is there still one between them? You’d think Eliott would learn from the past not to leave space for any Chloés who might come along. (At the end of the clip I still couldn’t tell, lmao. Feel free to clarify if you have better spatial awareness than I do.)

It’s Lucas’ turn to get startled by a dude just staring at him intensely. They have some banter, Mika texts back that he’s working, Eliott notices something is up, Lucas explains that he has no money to buy beer for a party, so it’s Eliott’s suggestion to come back to his place and get the beer he has. Not Lucas asking him for help, like Isak did. Lucas has seemed somewhat more forthright in pursuing Eliott so this is a bit of a surprise, because a noticeable example of Isak asking Even for something was switched to Eliott offering. I guess you could say it’s Eliott’s development, if he’s the one in the dark and is holding himself back? We’ll see.

Clip 6 - Eliott confirmed weirdo

They go to Eliott’s place and Lucas checks out Eliott’s drawings. They’re cute. Dude really loves raccoons. They look at the drawings together and Eliott says they’re old and that he’s better at drawing himself now. Lucas is like … that’s you? LMAO, Eliott is so fucking weird, I kind of love him. He likes that raccoons have a mask. Well, we know Eliott has his own mask, so it’s fitting, I suppose.

Okay, French fans, I have to ask - what are the perceptions of raccoons in your culture? I found this article saying that the raccoon was introduced to France in 1966 and is considered a pest. They’re considered pests in North America, too, and spread disease, and sometimes they fall through ceilings, but like ... they’ve always been here, so there’s something about them that’s normalized, I guess? 

Lucas asks if Eliott had to draw him what would it be. Well, that’s fucking forward. Eliott studies him and says he doesn’t know. So Eliott basically can’t figure out Lucas yet. What are the odds his later notes to Lucas will include his and Lucas’ fursonas? I know all Isaks are snakes but Lucas reminds me of a woodpecker, personally.

Or maybe they will both be raccoons for the sole reason that I want to start calling Lucas Little King Trashmouth.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY for Lucas to say “draw me like one of your French girls” or something along those lines, though.

Clip 7 - What ... the fuck ...

Lucas and Eliott smoke and talk. While Eliott gets up to change the music, Lucas checks his phone and he’s got messages from Chloé waiting for him.

Lucas blames his absence on the other guys lacking motivation and THAT is the least believable excuse I have heard in my fucking life, come on, Lucas. As if those dudes aren’t panting after those girls. Did you even meet Basile? If you talk to him for ten seconds you’ll already know the names of five girls he wants to fuck.

And of course he types this as Yann is trying to get in touch with him about the party, very much motivated to go.

One of these days an Isak just needs to lie in a plausible way. “Sorry I’m sick, I think I have food poisoning, I’ve been shitting my guts out for the last hour.” If you overshare and make it disgusting, they’re not going to question you further AND Chloé will probably back off and stop chasing you. 

Lucas guesses that Eliott will be putting on some Chopin or Dad Jazz because the turntable makes him seem like a vintage collector but ACTUALLY Eliott is one weird motherfucker and I have to say, not even Even would pull this stunt this soon in their relationship, because what he puts on is dubstep and Eliott starts banging his head and jumping around in a completely unashamed way, and like, even Lucas in all his infatuation with this guy cannot help but stare at him like “what the fuck is going on.”

When Eliott asks about it Lucas responds, “....it’s cool!” in the same way I do when an older relative asks me what I think of The Big Bang Theory or the Minions.

Eliott asks Lucas about his tastes and Lucas is more into rock, like very famous bands, Nirvana, Rolling Stones, Beatles, The Clash. Eliott offers to put on Queen and luckily for the music licensing department Lucas is like, no, I like discovering new things. By which he means “I like discovering new boys.”

Eliott blows a perfect ring of smoke so we know he has more smoke skills than Lucas, going off Lucas’ messy shotgunning in episode 1, and then Lucas also starts to rock out to the music and I’m kinda feeling secondhand embarrassment but also, I guess this means they’re meant for each other?

Clip 8 - Piano man

They’re both sitting there stoned as fuck, Eliott doesn’t want to get up to change the record, so Lucas gets up and puts the record to the side. But instead of selecting a new one, he lifts the lid the piano and asks Eliott if he plays. Eliott says he can play the Star Wars theme - so he has Star Wars fanboying in common with Even, heh.

Lucas then sits down and starts to play perhaps too well for someone who’s probably pretty stoned by now (but I’ve never tried so who knows) and Eliott sits up. We get him smiling at Lucas, eyes shining. At one point Lucas looks behind him and seems to get encouraged by Eliott’s enchanted reaction.

Mmmm ... unpopular opinion, but while this is a really lovely scene, I kiiiinda wish they’d taken it down a notch or put the focus more on Lucas? Because there’s like ... not really any ambiguity about what Eliott feels after this, with his enamored stare at Lucas, and I think in context of the larger story, it takes a little tension out. I think with Even, the attraction was conveyed more in small looks and glances, and while I definitely thought he was always into Isak, from Isak’s POV you could see how the arrival of Sonja threw that into doubt, there was room to question whether Even really had feelings for Isak. Whereas here it’s like ... girlfriend or not, Eliott is smitten with Lucas, I don’t really feel that the ending reveal carries as much weight. I guess I’d put more focus on Lucas’ expressions as he plays, showing him getting into it and letting himself put down his emotional walls and express himself, showing him more open here with Eliott than he’s been so far anywhere else - this is his POV season, after all - and cut back on Eliott’s reactions to preserve a little mystery.

What I think is good about this moment is that Eliott got to share a part of himself, with his drawings (and his questionable taste in music), and unbeknownst to him his Polaris project, and now Lucas gets to share a part of himself with his piano playing, and so they’ve both let each other in to their artistic sides, perhaps establishing them both as creative types. It’s cool that we both see their respective interests. They might even complement each other’s, like Lucas’ music might end up serving Eliott’s vision for his film or something. And this was obviously a turning point for Eliott, he may have noticed Lucas on the first point of school but this is what took his interest in Lucas to another level as he saw Lucas just unleash this piano piece, catching him off guard with something beautiful. 

When Lucas is done, Eliott says it was impressive, and that Lucas is surprising, and he likes surprising people. Well they’re just being blatant as fuck, aren’t they.

Unfortunately, the night must end as Eliott has people to meet and Lucas has a party to endure. Eliott walks Lucas out and says it was great, they need to hang out again, Lucas agrees. I like this moment a lot because it is somewhat more ambiguous - like on the surface this could be a platonic conversation, just wanting to hang out as friends, but there’s just a little too much intensity, a bit too much of a pause in the delivery, to think this exchange is so casual. 

Just as Lucas is going Eliott adjusts his hair? I don’t even know what he was doing because I do not notice a single change in Lucas’ hairdo but Eliott sure did it as a memorable parting gesture. Lucas is internally screaming, probably.

Lucas goes out the door and outside he checks his phone, of course Chloé is pissed, Yann asks why Lucas is lying, Chloé has been posting “men are trash” messages on IG. I repeat: just tell them that you have unstoppable explosive diarrhea and people won’t be so quick to judge. 

Behind him, Eliott leaves his place and Lucas sees him greet a girl with a kiss. OK now that is actually a pretty big change because Eliott does not know that Lucas saw him with a girlfriend and like, I always thought Even was overcompensating with Sonja when he started to compliment her and make out with her, but Eliott was just casually greeting his girlfriend with a kiss, without knowing Lucas was there. He’s not going to know Lucas knows about his girlfriend the next time they meet. If Lucas is irritated with him, he’s going to be like WTF.

There’s piano music at the end, and with its inclusion in the clip itself, I’m thinking they’re going to use a lot of piano on the soundtrack this season. They already did it in episode one.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas apparently ran away from Chloé at the bus stop, heh. She texted him to “subtly” see if he wanted to hang out and insinuated that she wanted to swing by Lucas’ flat some time. Or not subtly. Nothing about her is subtle. She’s wearing a sign that says BANG ME LUCAS.

Lol, as I mentioned above, Emma was hanging out with Raptor Alex and posting pics and stories on IG, I don’t know why they’re surprised people might think they’re an item after they also just hooked up at a party. Like not necessarily together-4ever but it’s not an unreasonable assumption they have a ~thing.

Lucas and Imane laugh over the tampon thing via text later, it’s a sweet moment. I wonder how they’re going to play the religion discussions since the two are already warming up to each other, Lucas being like, “Why are you religious?” in a confrontational way would kill the vibe.

Manon was supposed to see The Book of Mormon with Charles, then later she posted “Night in after all.” Dramaaaaa. Manon, fuck Charles and go by yourself. If some dude bailed on me that night I’d be like, whatever asshole, we paid to see these singing Mormons and I am going to goddamn see some singing Mormons. (Also, lmao at her dramatically posting that publicly, talk about a passive-aggressive swipe at Charles.)

Let’s talk about Basile, goddamn Basile, because he is by far my biggest issue with the season so far. Everything else is pretty solid, any other quibbles I have pale to my rapidly developing kneejerk GTFO when he appears on screen.

Some of the issue is that this dude is so one-note and in a really intense way, like you know when you’re a toddler and your parent hands you a pot to bang on and you hit it with a wooden spoon over and over? That’s Basile. There’s also just the element of overexposure. He tends to take over the boy squad scenes just because he wants to get laid. It feels like we’ve already had as much of Basile thirsting after Daphne and Maria in two episodes as we did Magnus crushing on Vilde spread over the whole season. 

You might say Magnus was similarly desperate to hook up with a girl, and that’s true of course. And look, Magnus isn’t perfect and he said some dumbass shit during the season, but at the same time, there was a kind of weird innocence to him? Even when Vilde is complaining about the first year girls taking the older guys, and he says he’s available to fuck if she wants, it’s an outrageous statement but the way it’s played has a bizarre purity to it, like hey, this girl thinks there won’t be anyone for her to fuck, I should offer! With Basile there’s more sleaziness to his behavior, like dude has been on Reddit too long and has read too many forums about embittered men seeking to get laid.

I think some of it also is that a lot of Magnus was not actively and aggressively pursuing specific girls and bothering them for the most part - after that first offer to fuck Vilde, we don’t see him nagging her or crossing her boundaries, from what I recall? The flirtation gets mutual. He mentions stuff like the Vilde sex dream to the guys but it’s not like he’s telling that to her. With Basile he’s directly going after Daphne in a very persistent way.

One way they could redeem Basile is have his behavior act as a criticism of toxic straight boy bullshit, to go along with the heteronormative pressure. We still have a bunch of episodes to go so perhaps Basile will have character growth.

One thing I didn’t care for was them breaking up the Friday clip into multiple parts and airing them one after the other. I suspected that it was due to time restrictions and I was right, according to the screenwriter on IG. It’s too bad because I think it interrupts the flow of the story. With Skam, we got to see Isak himself change over the course of the afternoon - he went from shy and reserved to opening up and being able to laugh and joke around with Even, and the fact that it’s all one clip makes it more noticeable. The length makes it feel like the lazy afternoon Isak and Even spent getting to know each other. Not Skam France’s fault they had to break it up, just a shame because it felt choppier - watching it clip by clip meant I kept going back to what I was doing in real life and losing the mood instead of sinking into it. But I appreciate what they were trying to do when they couldn’t have a long scene and I think the ways they cut the scene were probably the best places to end/start the clips, tone-wise.

On that note, I’m trying to avoid the BTS commentary but I ended up reading it when I saw the reaction to the Skam France writer’s thoughts on Isak. I get what the guy was going for, Isak was more reserved and shy than Lucas is and Even was doing a lot of the initiating, although yeah, I think his description was worded in an oversimplified way - I don’t think Isak was entirely naive and innocent, more like inexperienced (which is a different thing) and he was certainly the hero of his own story, he was brave. Just because he wasn’t as outgoing doesn’t mean he wasn’t taking control of his own story - I’d say that’s part of what makes his character development so powerful, that because he is more repressed, his choices to kiss Even, to come out to his friends, to learn to be himself, have even more impact. But I don’t think Niels meant to bash Isak or anything, and it’s very clear from his notes that he loves and respects the original season. I think his main point was just like “Lucas is more upfront in his actions,” lol.

Though on a related note, the experience of watching the remakes has made me think that a lot of people don’t get who Isak is as a character, and especially have some extremely bad faith and unsympathetic readings of him. But that’s a rant for another time. 

Tbh I think the behind-the-scenes notes about production stuff like “Axel wasn’t a trained pianist but he practiced hard for this scene” is fine and fun, it’s more the stuff that’s like “Here’s the interpretation of the scene itself” that I wish would wait until the season ends. But lmao, I’m just gonna try to avoid that stuff again.

I actually did like this episode. I’m not sure Skam France is ever going to be my favorite remake, because there’s something about the way it’s filmed that feels more slick and well, TV-like than is my preference, but I can definitely see that they’ve upgraded from last season, and that they’re trying hard to give this story its own spin. The Polaris symbolism is the biggest sign of that so far.

If there’s something I do wish we could get more of with Skam France, it’s subtlety? As a show it often feels more dramatic and this episode leaned heavier on the blatant romance, which might be a cultural thing, and I can absolutely get why people are more drawn to that. There’s plenty of TV shows and movies that I like that are not subtle in the slightest. I guess I’ve just been thinking that I wish the remakes would not be afraid to rely more on subtext for parts of this season, especially building up this relationship. Like there’s nothing blatantly “romantic” about the Evak version of this clip - everything is heavily show don’t tell, and we have to read into the littlest moments, the shared glances. How Even smiles to himself for just a brief moment after Isak compliments his drawings, or how Isak gets flustered after Even teases him for not knowing who Nas is (because he wants Even to think he’s cool) and how Even says that they’ll listen to Nas later - the implication that Isak is going to stay a while and Even will share this with him. “We can’t go back now” is in relationship to the cheese toasties, except you know, it’s not really about the cheese toasties. With Lucas and Eliott, it’s really easy to pick out that Eliott is flirting when he’s flat-out telling Lucas how special he is and how he’s intrigued by him, and sure, that’s where they’re going with Eliott’s character and making him more direct but it’s also related to the overall method and effectiveness of the storytelling. (I mean ... having Eliott be like “You are this-and-that, Lucas” is the definition of telling, not showing, lol.) And I completely get why that works for a lot of people, it doesn’t NOT work for me, but the understated stuff is what makes me watch clips a dozen times to pick up on it all, the subtext is what gets under my skin. My favorite moment was their goodbye at the door because it was a typical friendly exchange on the surface but with more going unspoken, and I felt that on the screen. So not to whine, because I did legitimately enjoy the Lucas/Eliott interaction, those are just my preferences. (The show is not made for me personally etc etc., cultural differences etc etc. I’m aware.)

I am finally warming up to Lucas, after two seasons. I really don’t think that I didn’t care for him before just because his character was closed off and snaky, because I’ve liked every other Isak in the first season of their show even though they’ve also kept secrets and done shady shit. I think they’ve just found a way to portray his character more effectively after having to copy + paste S1 and S2. They can make the character feel more organic. Also, not gonna lie, it felt like they cut back on the serial killer looks (partially because Lucas has more smiley and relaxed moments) so A+ work, Axel.

Also, knowing that they had to redo the first two seasons so closely doesn’t really change my opinion of the quality of the first two seasons, but it does make me more sympathetic toward the cast and crew for having to color inside the lines, so to speak. 

Eliott is a fucking weird ass human being and I’m really feeling his character. They made his absurdly good looks more approachable by turning him into a dubstep-stanning furry, and I am here for whatever shit they tell us about him next. 

I also think think the use of music was much better than in previous seasons. There were some very deliberate choices in this episode, obviously, but it felt like they’re learning to use silence more effectively and not shoehorning the soundtrack as much.

Feel free to chime in or correct me about French culture/translation/other issues.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[sparkswift]

My Lover analysis

Disclaimer: some of these ideas were found on tumblr and all opinions are mine only. <3 Also hopfully this is coherent enough :) Overall: Lover is in every way about love. It sounds like new love, like being in love, being scared to love, being scared to lose it, and being secure in it. @taylorswift is looking at the world through rose-colored glasses and singing with the same storytellings, and symbolism we have come to know and love. This album shows a woman who found a love that is real and chose to step into the daylight and let everything else go.

Lover Analysis By Krishna C

I Forgot That You Existed: This song is the perfect way to start this "next chapter." This song is an upbeat bop! Taylor uses smart and witty lyrics like "it isn't love; it isn't hate; it's just indifference." This song closes the book on the persona from reputation and opens to the literal next chapter of her life. We stan.

Cruel Summer: This track was written with Jack Anttinof and St. Vincent, and you can hear both of them in this. The music is very indicative of summer. This is the first mention of the color blue, the relevance of which will be discussed further in later tracks. The growl when she sings "He looks up grinning like a devil" is * chef's kiss* perfect.

Lover: Listening to this song again after hearing the rest of the album it becomes obvious why it was chosen as the title track. This song is what I imagine it sounds like to be completely and unconditionally in love, in a way that it seems like a part 2 to "Call It What You Want." To me, this song sounds like sitting in front of a fire with the person you love, wrapped up in a blanket while a record player plays in the background. It sounds like dancing in front of that fire with your lover wearing a sheet as a wedding dress. The anxiety from songs like "Out of The Woods" disappears.

The Man: I will never shut up about this song. Taylor addresses sexism head-on through the lens of her own life. It is imperative to note this song is not Taylor saying she wishes she were a man. Taylor explores the idea that if she were a man and lived her life, in the same way, she wouldn't be scrutinized and criticized like she is now as a woman; she would be praised for it. I walk with 113% more confidence when listening to this song. Highly recommend.

The Archer: The lyrics on this album are some of her strongest yet, and this song solidifies that. The song, which has a backing that sounds like an arrow being shot through the air, is simple enough that the lyrics are the main focus and quiet enough that you can hear the fear and doubt in her voice. The invisible smoke is indicative of having fears that stop your breathing, but that no one else sees. Also, the line that references all of her heroes dying all alone is a slight nod to "The Lucky One" (2012). The initial fear subsides at the end, where she declares that she is ready to fight for her love even if it kills her. The song ends with a numb sound that is not unlike the sound a bow and arrow make when the arrow is finally shot.

I Think He Knows: This song builds seamlessly. You can hear the initial fear in telling the other person how you feel but then realizing that you don't have to say anything because they already know and feel the same way. As the song builds confidence in the feelings do too.

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince: This song is haunting and sounds like being chased down an empty school hallway. A lot to unpack here, since she has spoken about it. Taylor has spoken of the political undertones of this song and the metaphor of a school football game as a form of patriotism. She has said this song came out of the feeling of everything falling apart in her life and with the country in 2016. In that year, she says, she became more critical of blind patriotism like the practice of Friday Night Lights. The symbolism of the football game and school be seen through many of the lyrics, notably "waving homecoming queens" and "I saw the scoreboard" and the cheerleader chants in the background. She also alludes to "Blank Space" (2014) in a lyric where she says she is "running through rose thorns" (see "Rose garden filled with thorns"). There is, of course, also a reference or two to the color blue in this song, but we can unpack that later on. In this song, she is also going with the idea of her being "an American queen," as we saw her in reputation (2017). Taylor has said this song is about finding someone who is able to escape all of the noise and run away with you until the chaos subsides. This song radiates Lana del Rey vibes but in a way that it is still completely a Taylor Swift song.

Paper Rings: This song is very recorded player 1950s but also very punk rock. It sounds like she is singing into an old microphone, and the effect is fantastic. It is upbeat and her way of saying 'I'd marry you in a heartbeat and I don't need money or fancy things (the fancy things could be a nod to "King of My Heart") to do it.' Again she mentions the color blue in regards to painting her lover's brother's wall blue. The significance of blue can be seen in the reputation magazine pictures of Taylor painting said wall and also in the lyric from "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" (2017) in which she says she was "deep blue, but you painted me golden" (golden sparkles are seen in another picture being painted over the blue wall).

Cornelia Street:  This is, by far, my favorite song. Taylor really returns to her storytellings roots with this song, something she has done beautifully since 2006. It tells the story of a love all in reference to the sacred street on which their love story was born. Taylor tells the story of a fight where she left the street and was headed for "the tunnel" (likely Lincoln tunnel), but then he stopped playing games and told her how he felt about her, so she turned around and then they made new memories on the street together. Their love almost ended, but then flourished on Cornelia street (Cornelia is also a flower that can be seen in the background of many of her recent performances as yet another easter egg). In the song, she is telling the story of their love and saying that if the story ever ended, she could never walk that street again because now she associates it with him and their love. You can hear the sadness when she says she could never walk Cornelia Street again towards the end of the song where she takes a breath. THIS IS NOT A SONG IT IS A STORY. TAYLOR HAS HER REAL LIFE LOVE STORY.

Death By A Thousand Cuts: This song does, in fact, cut a bitch up. It is a sad bop in which the instruments in the backing sound like mini jabs or a chandelier that is flickering. Taylor has said this song was inspired by the movie Something Great (2019) and the idea that sometimes a relationship ends not because you want it to or because you fell out of love but because you grew apart and then couldn't continue together. She "boards up the windows," an allusion to "Call It What You Want," of this love even when the lights in the house are still flickering and the love is still there. Its a breakup song for when you wake up at night being happy for the time you had with someone but sad that it had to end, because it hurts like a thousand cuts that will never heal, to end something that isn't and may never be over.

London Boy: This is a quick mood change. In this song, Taylor again makes a slight reference to patriotism. She samples audio from her co-stars from the upcoming cinematic adaptation of Cats (2019), James Cordon and Idris Elba. This song is so cleary about her boyfriend who is, obviously, from London. She says she can love where she is but her heart lies in London with her boyfriend. This song also makes reference to his accent which is a slight nod to "Gorgeous" (2017) in which she made fun of his accent. She also name-drops, designer Stella McCartney, which as we all know led to their clothing collaboration.

Soon You'll Get Better: In this song the Dixie Chicks easter egg from the ME! Music video finally hatches with a collaboration. This song is a vulnerable glimpse into Taylor's mother's battle with cancer. It sounds like a cold, empty hospital hallway that gets filled with love when certain people enter it, but it also sounds hopeless. Taylor lists a number of things she has done in an attempt to make this part of her life happier, none of which have worked. Nothing could work unless her mother gets better because her mother means everything to her and has moved mountains for her. Now Taylor is doing what she can to move the mountains for her mom. The depth of her hopelessness is exemplified in the line where she confesses that she prays now because "desperate people find faith." Taylor herself was raised Catholic but has seemed to grow away from that, but now she needs that faith because it means some sort of hope is out there.  

False God: The sounds from the horns really make this song. It also somehow reminds me of Halsey's music in that it feels very mysterious, and almost like you are listening to a hallucination. "False God" clearly draws yet another connection to religion, which is something she has also done in past albums with songs such as "Don't Blame Me" (2017). Again she makes reference to New York City, a city which she fell in love with when she moved there around 2014 and wrote: "Welcome to New York" (2014). In this song, she compares herself to the city, perhaps in the way that Taylor and her love are like the city in that they are "ever-changing" (2014). To me, this song sounds like sounds like driving down a dark road with a cross attached to the rearview mirror and your hand in your lover's hand as you drive without knowing what will come next on the road. This metaphorical car is being driven by "blind faith" because the two people are so in love, they will continue to move forward together ready for whatever is to come. It's what could have happened if the guy from "All You Had To Do Was Stay" (2014) had, in fact, stayed on the road with her instead of running them off of it. In this song, her significant other is not worried about what's going on with things that are outside of their control, and they continue together because they have faith in their love.

You Need To Calm Down: This upbeat bop feels like an extension of "Shake It Off" (2014), but this time it is more inclusive and with political undertones that voice support for the LGBTQA+ community especially (see music video as well). In this song, Taylor addresses the different types of hate that various groups of people (in various communities) may face in their lives and encourages people to "calm down" and not waste their breath with hateful words and useless comparisons.

Afterglow: Yet again, this song contains a reference to the color blue, which her significant other once revealed in an interview is his favorite color. Blue is significant in that it represents him, and she seems to have associated the color with him. In the past, Taylor has used colors to represent emotions (see "Red" 2012), and blue is usually associated with sadness and loneliness. This song is her taking ownership of having caused a fight, but telling him not to leave because of the fight. Taylor is asking her lover to meet her at the happy ending to come after the light, which takes place in an "Afterglow." This song seems to be yet another nod to religion in speaking about a glow that is not unlike that associated with heaven. There is a possible reference to "...Ready For It" (2017) in a lyric about an island (recall the lyric referring to "island breeze"). The bigger symbol in this song is light, which Taylor has been known to use in past albums to show different emotions. The lyric "burned it down" is not only her taking ownership of the fight, but is another use of symbolism and imagery of a fire (seen in other songs such as "Begin Again" 2012 and "Call It What You Want" 2017). This song could be connected to the idea that she wants this fire (in this case is the fight) to burn out, and when a fire is burnt out it, the embers still glow, as she hopes their love will still glow when this fight has ended.

ME!: A self-love anthem this song celebrates individuality and embodies the bright aesthetic of this album. It also makes her feelings about herself and her lover clear, especially after the dark persona she created for reputation (2017). In the music video for this song, she walks out of the invisible smoke that was present in "The Archer." This song screams: 'Yeah I might have insecurities, but I'm an individual, and you are too, and we can love each other for who we are.' A very feel-good song.

It's Nice To Have A Friend: In my opinion, this is the weaker song on the album, but still not a song that I would ever skip. Also important to note that the backing vocals of this song are a school choir from Toronto and all of the profits from the song go to them (found this info on tumblr). This song sounds like drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. It is from a school kid's perspective, to represent the child in both people in the relationship. At first and at the beginning of the song there are games, and the signs about how the two people feel about one another are not clear (see lyrics involving sidewalk and snow, note and video game). Then it becomes clear that they both want to be together, and they start to bring out the child in one another. They are more than lovers they are best friends, and all other doubts from earlier have melted away, like the snow on the sidewalks.

Daylight: The perfect end to this album of love where Taylor's easter egg from her Elle article hatches as she encourages us all to "step into the daylight and let it go." Taylor herself had to let go after the darker days that resulted in reputation (2017) in order to find the light in her life again (she has said this in an interview). Her last album felt more like a night album, but Lover and the bright and light aesthetic that comes along with it makes it very much a day album. She references the smoke from "The Archer" saying that she "in clearing the air" she "breathed in the smoke." This song sounds like fresh air in a glowy bed of flowers. Taylor is moving on to brighter and happier things, and this song is the perfect way to show it. Along with this light, is the fact that Taylor once believed love was simple like black and white but in this song we see that now she sees love "in screaming color" ("Out of The Woods"). The color that screams love in this song is gold (see lyrics), as stated before there is a picture of Taylor painting her boyfriend's brother's wall blue in the reputation magazine, the picture that follows shows Taylor painting a patch of gold paint over the blue (see "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" lyrics). The color gold is often associated with magic, light, and happiness and it is clear that this is the purpose of the color in the song as well (see lyrics "golden like daylight"). She also compares herself to her beloved New York City yet again, this time it is in reference to sneaking around the city like she was sneaking around in "Delicate" when the relationship was new. Taylor acknowledges that she has made mistakes, but now it's time to step into the daylight and keep walking and it can be assumed that she intends to walk hand and hand with her lover. The audio at the end of the song sounds like a voicemail you would listen to if you want to remember someone fondly. It sounds like a faded memory with colors that are still vivid and bright. It sounds like hope. The album ends with the word love, and that says it all.

[fallwithmemydear]

I’ve been listening to this lovely song a lot lately, and it recently struck me how remarkably similar it is to the story of Aziraphale and Crowley. It fits so perfectly, in fact, that I’ve decided to analyze the song, line by line, as if it’s being sung by Aziraphale and is from his perspective after the events of the book/show. (I suggest that you listen to the song first before you read my analysis of it, btw.) So without further ado:

ARMY OF ANCIENTS - GOOD OMENS ANALYSIS

An army of ancients could rise from the ground/And tear every nation apart: Obvious reference to Armageddon. The army of ancients rising from the ground is a direct allusion to the hellions and demons below, but I also take the army of ancients to mean an army of angels, too. Considering the style in which the word is sung, it could easily be mistaken for “angels.” And in Good Omens, it’s clear that the angels from which Aziraphale came use somewhat morally gray methods to accomplish their means. They care about winning the war no matter what, and damn the consequences; thus their ascension from the so-called ground, the bottom, Hell.

And I’d still be sitting there counting my cards/Wondering when will it start?: Aziraphale is used to a certain way of life - his comforts, his luxuries, his home - after six thousand years. “Counting my cards” is a reference to a game, one that likely involves gambling. The entire Arrangement with Crowley is definitely a gamble: there’s always a risk that they’ll get caught by their respective Head Offices (and they eventually are).

However, cards could also be referring to the sort of activities Crowley has successfully tempted Aziraphale into over the past millennia - going out for lunch, drinking copious amounts of wine, and maybe even gambling as well. If we go with this interpretation, then Aziraphale is saying that despite the apocalypse, Crowley and I will remain. The line about “wondering when will [Armageddon] start” can also be perceived to mean that Aziraphale is wondering when the real war to end all wars (the one Crowley referenced at the end of Episode Six; “Heaven and Hell against all of us”) is coming.

The oceans and forests could collide into one/And muddy this world in a spark: This references Adam coming into his power. The oceans represent the unknown, the ethereal, the ineffable: myths and conspiracies that Adam reads about in Anathema’s magazines. And the forests represent the world as we know it - a concrete of Adam’s world, anchored in reality; the Them’s hideaway in the forest, where he feels safe and free. The collision of the real with the unreal (as Adam subconsciously makes the unreal a reality) signals that Armageddon is here, the world is ending. The line “and muddy this world in a spark” is a further extension of this metaphor, and refers to the ruination of the world brought forth by the “spark” of Adam’s mind.

And I’d still be sitting there twiddling my thumbs/Wondering when will it start?: Aziraphale does nothing while the so-called apocalypse is happening. This could be a reference to the overall futility of Aziraphale and Crowley’s work during the eleven years leading up to Armageddon (as they influenced the wrong child and all of their work was in vain). Or it could be a reference to his knowledge that there is nothing he can do to stop it.

How did the fox get the raven to crow?: This has to be my absolute favorite line. The fox, typically known as a wily trickster throughout fairytales, represents humanity, and the raven is Crowley, with pitch-black wings. The fox got the raven to crow - change his name from Crawley to Crowley, hide his demonic, inhuman appearance, shade his snake-eyes behind sunglasses. The fox got the raven to “change” its very nature for its sake.

Why, at the creek, did the dog lose the bone?: This, to me, is Aziraphale questioning how he and Crowley lost hold of the true Antichrist, and fixated on Warlock (the wrong boy) for so many years. But it could also be him wondering how Adam managed to win the hellhound over and take him as his pet in a small little dog form. This one is more open to personal interpretation, I think. All of the questions in this song are direct references to either fables (written by Aesop) or biblical passages.

The man could come back on his fiery throne/To measure the feathers and hearts: The hypothetical “man” here has to be referring to a divine being. Whether Aziraphale is talking about Satan or God, however, is I think up to interpretation. “Fiery” would imply that he’s talking about Lucifer, but the act of measuring the feathers and hearts is a reference to Ancient Egyptian myth, where when mortals died, their hearts would be measured on celestial scales against the Feather of Ma’at (who was the goddess of justice) to determine whether their actions made them worthy of passing on to paradise, or Heaven. A being maintaining justice, however, could be God. Regardless of who this being is, Aziraphale says they “could come back,” so it definitely can’t be anyone who walks the earth.

And I’ll still be whistling Dixie alone/Wondering when will it start?: “Dixie” is a song very commonly associated with the south (specifically in the United States) and the Confederacy of the American Civil War. This connects with Aziraphale’s supposed “roots” as the southern pansy, as he’s dubbed by Shadwell. And he’s still wondering when the real war is coming.

I don’t want to wake up/I don’t want to move: This is where the song shifts from its previous pattern. Aziraphale is saying he doesn’t want to wake up from his life of comfort and pleasure; he doesn’t want to leave Earth. He wants to stay and keep enjoying the luxuries (mostly foods) he so wholeheartedly enjoys.

I’ll skip the sermon and stick to the booze/I’m sorry: Aziraphale denounces his faith - he’s on his and Crowley’s side, not Heaven’s - and says he’ll stick to his comforts. He’ll keep drinking with his demon and dining at the Ritz and feeding the ducks in St. James Park. And he apologizes, because of course in a way, he is denouncing himself. He is denouncing what he was created for. He’s announcing his moral grayness and his love for Crowley, the importance he places on staying with his demon above all else - even the greater good.

Well, I’ll take what I want in the dawn’s early light: Aziraphale will take what he wants (often used as a sexual phrase) in the very early morning - again, sexual implications. It can be assumed that Crowley is what he wants, and he no longer has any qualms about making it clear what he wants.

How did the fox get the raven to crow?: Again, how did humans manage to make Crowley change himself - change what Aziraphale loves about him?

Why did the hen pick grains in the snow?: After a fair amount of research, I can’t actually find the exact fable the song is referencing, but I can derive its meaning. Picking grains in the snow seems like a futile, almost pointless task; perhaps Aziraphale sees himself as the (mother) hen, and is asking himself why he and Crowley went to the seemingly pointless trouble of trying to influence the “Antichrist” (Warlock) for so many years, in an attempt to balance him out and raise him to be completely neutral. (The answer, of course, is simple: because Crowley suggested it, and because Aziraphale is absolutely #whipped. So is Crowley.)

Why did the brother bury his gold?: I’ve seen this recorded as “coat” instead of “gold,” which would be a reference to the story of Cain and Abel, in which Cain kills and buries his brother. As God supposedly clothed Adam and Eve in “coats” of animal skins, it can be inferred that the brother in the song buried not his own coat, but Abel’s.

The man took the rats, but the kids came along: Direct reference to the story of the Pied Piper. I think this could also be an observation made about Adam’s “enchantment” (read: control) over the rest of the Them during his little rampage. The rats could be a reference to Adam’s “new friends,” or the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - some pretty nasty people, if you ask me. Easily comparable to rats.

Why did the mouse help the beast with his thorn?: Another of my favorite lines. This has to be Aziraphale recounting back to the first time he ever helped Crowley, by covering him with his wing and protecting him from the first rainstorm.

Does this town know how to make soup without stones?: A barely-there last line, whispered as the song fades out. Another reference to a folk tale, but I think it can be read as more of a joke in Aziraphale’s case. The original story details a group of villagers all pitching in to help some travelers make “stone soup,” and then all sharing the end result (sans stone). However, I think Aziraphale is saying it in a way that implies he is just a little selfish - just a bit of a bastard - and he doesn’t want to share what he has. He wants to keep it to himself. And I think in this case, he’s talking about Crowley again.

TL;DR - Aziraphale is very much in love with Crowley, and is still biding his time, waiting for the real apocalypse to come.

[wisdomrays]

THE MIRACLES OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD (pbuh) : Fourth sign.Part1

There is no limit to the reports God’s Most Noble Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) gave concerning the Unseen through the instruction of the One All-Knowing of the Unseen. As we have mentioned the types of these reports in the Twenty-Fifth Word, which is about the miraculousness of the Qur’an, and to a degree explained and proved them, we now refer to that Word the explanation of the information he gave concerning the Unseen about past times and prophets, as well as truths concerning Divinity, the universe, and the hereafter, and will point out a few of his many correct predictions concerning his Companions, his Family and his community. But first, for a complete understanding of the subject, we will state Six Principles by way of an introduction.

FIRST PRINCIPLE

All the states and acts of the Noble Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) testified to his veracity and prophethood, but not all of them had to be miraculous. For God Almighty sent him in the form of a human being so that he might be a guide and leader to human beings in their social affairs, and in the acts and deeds by means of which they attain happiness in both worlds; and so that he might disclose to human beings the wonders of Divine art and His disposive power that underlie all occurrences and are in appearance customary, but in reality are miracles of Divine power. 

If, then, he had abandoned the human state in his acts and become extra-ordinary in all aspects, he could not have been a leader, or have instructed human beings with his acts, states, and conduct. He was, indeed, honoured with paranormal phenomena in order to prove his prophethood to obstinate unbelievers, and from time to time performed miracles as the need arose. But his miracles never occurred in such an obvious fashion as would have compelled everyone to believe, whether willingly or unwillingly. 

For, in accordance with the purpose of the examinations and trials that man is to undergo, the way must be shown to him without depriving him of his free will: the door of the intelligence must remain open, and its freedom must not be snatched from its hand. But if miracles had occurred in so apparent a way, intelligence would have had no choice; Abu Jahl would have believed as did Abu Bakr, coal would have had the value of diamonds, and no purpose would have remained for testing and accountability.It is a source of amazement that while thousands of men of different character came to believe through observing a single of his miracles, a single proof of his prophethood, or a word of his, or through merely seeing his face, some wretches are nowadays going astray, as if those thousands of proofs of his prophethood were not sufficient evidence, although they all have come down to us through authentic transmission and with certain proofs, and have caused many thousands of exacting scholars and thinkers and different men to accept faith.

SECOND PRINCIPLE

God’s Most Noble Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) was a human being; hence he acted like a human being. He was also a messenger and prophet, and with regard to his messengership, he was an interpreter and an envoy of Almighty God. His messengership was based upon Revelation, which is of two kinds:The First is explicit Revelation. In this case, the Noble Messenger is merely an interpreter and announcer, with no share in the content. The Qur’an and some Sacred Hadith are included in this kind of Revelation.The Second is implicit Revelation. The essence and summary of this is also based on Revelation or inspiration, but its explanation and description were left to the Messenger. 

When he explained and described such Revelation, sometimes he again relied on Revelation, or on inspiration, or sometimes he spoke in terms of his own insight. And, when he resorted to his own interpretation, he either relied on the perceptive power given him on account of his prophetic mission, or he spoke as a human being and conformably to usage, custom and the level of common comprehension.Thus, all the details of every Hadith are not necessarily derived from pure revelation, nor should the lofty marks of messengership be sought in such thoughts  and transactions of his as are required by his participation in the human state. Since some truths were revealed to him in a brief and abstract form, and he himself described them in the light of his insight and according to common comprehension, the metaphors and allusions in his descriptions sometimes may need explanation, or even interpretation. 

There are, indeed, some truths that the human mind can grasp only by way of comparison. For example, once in the presence of the Prophet, a loud noise was heard. The Prophet said, “This is the noise of a rock that has been rolling down for seventy years and has now reached the lowest depths of Hell.” An hour later the news came that a famous dissembler who had recently turned seventy years old had died and gone to Hell, thus explaining the event the Prophet had described by means of an eloquent comparison.

THIRD PRINCIPLE

If any related tradition is in the form of tawatur, it is indisputable. There are two kinds of this sort of report: one is those reports about which there is ‘explicit consensus,’ the other is ‘consensus in meaning.’ The latter is also of two kinds: the first includes those concerning which the consensus is implied ‘by silence.’

For example, if a man in a community relates an incident in front of his people and the listeners do not contradict him, that is, they respond to him by keeping silent, this implies their acceptance of the report. In particular, if that community is such as will not acccept any error, as will consider any lie reprehensible, as is ready to criticize and, in addition, shows an interest in the reported incident, the silence of that community testifies strongly to the incident having occurred.

The second kind of ‘consensus in meaning’ is that which occurs when different people relate a particular incident, for example, one okka of food fed two hundred people, in different versions-one person describes in one way, another in another way, and another in yet another way, but all are unanimously agreed on the occurrence of the incident. Thus, the occurrence of this certain incident is supported by ‘consensus in meaning,’ and is definite; its actual occurrence is not harmed by differences in detail. But apart from this, there are times when a report supplied by a single person expresses the certainty of consensus, under certain conditions. It also sometimes happens that single report expresses certainity when supported by other, outside evidences.

Most of the reports concerning the miracles and the evidences of the prophethood of the Most Noble Messenger (Upon whom be blessings and peace) that have come down to us are either of the category of  ‘explicit consensus,’ or ‘consensus in meaning,’ or ‘consensus implied by silence.’ As for the others, although they are the report of a single person, they also have the certainty of ‘consensus’ as they have received the acceptance of the meticulous authorities on Hadith. Of such meticulous authorities were those geniuses who were called al-Hafiz, who had committed to memory at least 100,000 Hadiths, who offered for fifty years their morning prayer with the ablution of the night prayer, and who produced the six accurate books of Hadith headed by those of Bukhari and Muslim. Without doubt, any report scrutinized and accepted by them cannot fall short of the certainty of ‘consensus.’ For they acquired such intimacy with the Hadiths of the Noble Prophet (Upon whom be blessings and peace) and became so familiar with his exalted style and manner that they could spot at first sight a single false Hadith among a hundred reports, and would reject it, saying, “This cannot be a prophetic tradition; it does not have his wording.” Since they were able to recognize the precious quality of the Hadith, like an expert jeweller, there was no possibility of their confusing any other word with that of the Prophet. Some researchers, however, such as Ibn al-Jawzi, went to such excesses in their criticism as to regard many accurate traditions as false.  Nevertheless, this does not mean that the meaning of every false wording is wrong; rather it means that the wording itself is not that of the Prophet.

Q u e s t i o n : What is the benefit of citing the chain of transmission of a tradition so that even if it is not called for in the case of a well-known incident they say: “So-and-so informed so-and-so, etc.”?

A n s w e r : Its benefits are many, and one is that the citing of the chain shows the concurrence of the truthful, reliable and exacting scholars of Hadith and the unanimity of the discerning authorities whose names are included; each of the scholars and authorities signs, as it were, for the accuracy of the tradition, and places his seal on it.

Q u e s t i o n : Why were the miraculous events not transmitted through numerous chains in the form of ‘consensus’ and with as great emphasis as the basic injunctions of the Sacred Law, the Shari‘a?

A n s w e r : Because the majority of the injunctions of the Shari‘a are needed by most people at most times, for they all are applicable to each individual, like an obligation incumbent on all. But not everyone needs to know of every miracle; even if he does, it suffices him to hear it only once. It is, in fact, like the kind of obligation the observance of which by some will absolve the rest; it is quite enough for miracles to be known only to some. For this reason, even if the occurrence and reality of a miracle ten times more certain than that of an injunction of the Shari‘a, it will still come to us through one or two narrators, whereas the injunction is narrated by ten or twenty persons.

[backtomylakearearootsstory]

S1E17

[SUNDAY EVENING SUMMARY-The couples have checked out of the hotel and are reunited with their children, Clarissa is preparing her lecture for the following day and working on a new podcast. After dinner, Malachi manages to get in contact via IM with a cousin from Louisiana, while Aundrea is thinking about the rough draft that she’s submitted for her Reading class. She’s got a tryout for volleyball while Malachi is going to try out for track. QJ has already asked if Justin came come over at some point, he enjoyed himself at the sleepover with his parents happen he made it back in one piece]

Monday morning is going relatively smooth for QJ, however in the middle of class during the afternoon, he’s called in to the office. “The guidance counselor wants to see you" the Principal said with no explanation.  "Why?" a concerned QJ asked to which the principal responded "You'll find out when you go in". Reluctantly, he walked over to the office where he was greeted by an African American woman. She had a dark to medium brown complexion, one could describe as Coffee. She was in her mid 50’s and dressed as a pants suit.

“Elaine August” she said as she reached out to shake QJ’s hand.

“Quincy James Martin Jr, My friends call me QJ”

“The principal, from my understanding, wants you to see me for one per week for the next two weeks. AI figured if you visit with me today for 15 minutes with Friday off. I know it’s probably the last place you want to be at this point, however I want to make this as easy and as comfortable for you as possible. Nothing we talk about will be discussed without your consent.”

“Okay…….”

“So tell me about yourself”

“Well, my name is Quincy. I’m in the third grade. I’m named after my dad actually, but all my friends and family call me QJ. I have an older brother and sister, they’re both in the sixth grade. Twins. “

“How about your parents?”

“Well, my mom is a teacher and my dad recently retired from the Airforce.”

“Your mother is a teacher?”

“Yes ma’am, she teaches English and History. She’s also writing a book, it’s supposed to be out next summer.”

“About what?”

“Reconnecting with her Louisiana family. My grandma, her mom, is from Louisiana. She’s from a town called Lake Charles? She went down there this summer for the first time in like years. I’ve been once in my life, but I was a baby so I don’t remember anything”

“I know of Lake Charles, are you familiar with the singer. Nellie Lutcher?”

“No ma’am”

“Well, she’s a soul and jazz singer who is from Lake Charles who later on moved to Los Angeles. You know, it wasn’t unheard of for black people. Particularly black creoles to  head out this way for a better life. Black people fled the south to escape Jim Crow.”

“My mom is actually creole, she’s an Arceneaux. My mom is fair skinned, but not to the point that I’d mistake her for white.”

“Right, but you’d be surprised at the ones who tried to pass….any way I digress..let’s get back to your family”

“My brother is the golden child. He almost never gets in trouble. He’s been an A student since preschool. I like school, don’t get me wrong and if you talked to my teachers, I would hope that they’d say good things. My sister…….let me say that she’s the one who likes it least. We all pass. Our mom being a teacher and an English teacher wouldn’t accept us not trying”

Elaine then looked at her watch. “We’ve been in  here 20 minutes. I need to send you back to class”.

QJ went back to class where they were in the middle of the reading lesson. Not quite understanding the point of the meeting he agreed for the sake of avoiding a suspension. He pulled out his notebook and began copying the homework assignment down. Afterwards he pulled out his reading workbook to catch up with where the class was. Later that evening at dinner he brought up that he had to see the guidance counselor.

“I’d actually like to meet her” Deja said as she took a bit of stir fry. “Is she nice”

“Yes, she is. She actually asked about you”

“What did you tell her?”

“That you were a teacher and that dad was retired Military”

“I have my first job tomorrow” Quincy said. “I am going to be mystery shopping while I look for work”

A curious Deja asked “Is this one of those bogus wiring money schemes?”

“Nope though someone attempted to fool me with that. I went to Volition.com and then applied at a lot of companies. I have to do an automotive shop tomorrow.”

Malachi asked what he’d have to do. “Well, I have to go to a dealership tomorrow and pose as someone looking for a new vehicle”

“What about you Aundrea?”

“Well I got a B on the rough draft of my book report”

“Good job”

“Thanks”

After eating dinner, Malachi went to his room and wrote a new journal entry.

[TUESDAY MORNING-QJ KNEW HE’D MISS PART OF THE MORNING, HE HEADED DIRECT FOR THE COUNSELORS OFFICE]

While QJ was meeting with the guidance counselor, Deja was lecturing in an English class.

“Today we are going to look at several pieces of literature and analyze them. I am still grading essays. So far, you all have some interesting things to say.  I am not grading these overly tough; however, the literature essay will not be as easy. Do not worry about it right now, that’s later in the year.  Today we are going to identify certain things that you will be quizzed on at the end of the week.” They defined terms such as simile, personification, iambic pentameter, imagery, diction, allusion, epigraph, euphemism, foreshadowing, metaphor, point-of-view, and structure.  During that time Deja received a text from Quincy “I’m about to go complete this, pray for me”

At the car dealership, he managed to get the attention of a salesman with the scenario that he was planning a vehicle purchase within the next month. He spotted a navy truck that he like. “Wanna test drive” the salesman asked.

“Yeah I do!”

They drove for 15 minutes, around the block. He went inside with the salesman and obtained a business card and signed up for the dealerships newsletter. He went home and completed the report. He managed the complete his first mystery shop. He also managed to secure three gas station shops later in the week. He was happy to be working again even if it wasn’t a conventional job. If he could obtain enough shops regularly in the competitive market of Los Angeles, he could earn as much as $100 extra per week.

Meanwhile, Malachi and Aundrea were leaving ELA when running into  Brianna in the hallway. “Hey, this is my brother, Malachi”

“Hey” Malachi said.

“Hey. I hear you like to read”

“Yeah”

“It’s a form a stress relief for me”

“She’s coming over today, we’re gonna work on our final drafts for our book report”

“Cool”

Malachi then headed to his math class where the teacher announced that they would be learning to solve equations. “Turn your book to page 30” He looked down with a blank stare as his classmates groaned. . While going over the lesson, she assigned some practice problems for homework. It was getting close to the end of the day and for some reason the last couple of hours seemed to drag. When they got to the end of the day, their dad came and picked them up.

“Guys, I managed to pick up a little work. I’m going to be going to certain stores and stocking products. It’ll be during the day. Tonight, we’ll be having brinner”

 [TO BE CONTINED WITH EPISODE 18]

[pamphletstoinspire]

The Sacraments In Scripture - Part 8

CHAPTER 8

SACRAMENTS

OF MARRIAGE

Overview

At the very creation of man and woman, God instituted marriage:

God who created man out of love also calls him to love—the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love. Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man (Catechism, no. 1604).

The vocation to the Sacrament of Marriage is a call for men and women in their marital (and familial) relationship to imitate the kind of love which is characteristic of God—a love that is absolute, unfailing, sacrificial, and life-giving. Marital love is to be a godly love.

Old Testament

Since the nature of Trinitarian love is “absolute and unfailing,” marital love is to be exclusive and permanent in order to truly embody the love of God. Because of this, we may often find it troublesome when we encounter many of the great figures of the Old Testament, such as some of the patriarchs or the kings of Israel, who repeatedly “transgress” what we know to be the truth of marital love. The Catechism teaches that in the Old Testament God allows certain practices because of man’s “hardness of heart”(Catechism, no. 1610). If we read the biblical narrative carefully, however, we can see that even while allowing such practices, God is teaching His people the truth of marital love by the consequences that result when the fullness of His design is not lived out. The Bible subtly shows that when marriage is not exclusive and permanent, it often leads to bad results. So, for example, when Abraham took Hagar as a concubine, she bore Ishmael, and the result was a brotherly battle between the Israelites and the Ishmaelites (modern-day Arabs) that continues to this day. When Lot slept with his daughters, they bore Amon and Moab, from whom the Ammonites and the Moabites descended, and with whom the Israelites were constantly at war. When Jacob took two wives and two concubines, he sowed the seeds for family division, which was demonstrated when Joseph was sold into slavery by his brethren and again later when there was division among the twelve tribes. When Solomon took many wives, he disobeyed the law for kings given by Moses, which provides that the king “shall not multiply wives for himself, lest his heart turn away” (Deut. 17:17). Solomon’s heart did turn away from Yahweh (cf. 1 Kings 11:4) and, because of his divided heart, the kingdom of Israel was divided in civil war during the reign of his son Rehoboam (cf. 1 Kings 12). By showing us such disastrous effects, these biblical narratives implicitly teach us God’s design for marriage at creation.

The true nature of marital love is most clearly demonstrated by Yahweh Himself in His covenant relationship with Israel. The prophets spoke of Israel’s covenant relationship with Yahweh as a marriage covenant. Yahweh is described as Israel’s husband: “For your Maker is your husband” (Is. 54:5). In Ezekiel the Lord describes how His covenant with Israel is a marriage covenant: “I plighted my troth to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord GOD, and you became mine” (Ezek. 16:8).

Seeing God’s covenant with Israel in the image of exclusive and faithful married love, the prophets prepared the Chosen People’s conscience for a deepened understanding of the unity and indissolubility of marriage (Catechism, no. 1611).

Since Israel is covenanted to Yahweh, Israel’s worship of idols is considered marital infidelity, thus the Lord refers to Israel as an “adulterous wife” (Ezek. 16:32). Through Jeremiah, God describes how Israel broke the covenant made at Sinai, “though I was their husband” (Jer. 31:32). Yet, despite Israel’s unfaithfulness, Yahweh is steadfast in His covenant love and faithfulness.

Above all, it is through the prophet Hosea that God illustrates the marital relationship that the covenant creates between Himself and Israel. God tells Hosea to take a harlot named Gomer, for a wife. Gomer’s infidelity to Hosea is a sign of Israel’s marital infidelity to Yahweh. The Lord says to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and have children of harlotry, for the land commits great harlotry by forsaking the LORD” (Hos. 1:2). The Lord then reveals to Hosea that in the future He will make a new covenant with Israel, a covenant that will mark a new and faithful marriage relationship between God and His people.

And I will betroth you to me for ever; I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the LORD (Hos. 2:19-20).

The Lord tells Hosea that He shall woo Israel by taking her out to the wilderness, where He shall “speak tenderly to her” (Hos. 2:14). Just as Yahweh led Israel into the wilderness in the Exodus and made a covenant with her at Sinai, so too, He will once again take Israel out into the wilderness before ratifying the New Covenant. It is not accidental, then, that the New Testament begins with Israel’s going out to the wilderness to hear John the Baptist, who calls himself the “friend of the bridegroom” (Jn. 3:29).

New Testament

According to Saint John’s Gospel, Jesus performed His first sign, which marked the beginning of His public ministry, while attending a wedding feast in Cana.

The Church attaches great importance to Jesus’ presence at the wedding at Cana. She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and the proclamation that thenceforth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ’s presence (Catechism, no. 1613).

Not only did Jesus perform a miraculous sign at the wedding when He changed the water into wine, His very presence at the feast was a sign of the nature of His mission and of the restoration and elevation of marriage that He was bringing about.

When Jesus is questioned by the Pharisees about Moses’ allowance for divorce, He reminds them of God’s original plan for marriage:

Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one”? So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder (Mt. 19:4-6).

According to Jesus, divorce and the breakdown of marriage is the result of sin: “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt. 19:8). Jesus makes it clear that marriage is intended to be exclusive (monogamous) and permanent, and thus in His response to the Pharisees He restores to marriage its original dignity.

Jesus not only restores marriage to its original design, He elevates marriage to a sacrament. This means that marriage is not simply a sign, but a sign that effects grace. Jesus is the bridegroom and, through the New Covenant, He makes the Church His bride. Marriage between a man and a woman signifies the love of Christ and His bride the Church (cf. Catechism, no. 1617). As we saw above, the People of God were often unfaithful to the commitment of marriage, both individually and corporately. Indeed, this is reflected at the national level by Israel’s covenant unfaithfulness to Yahweh. But in the New Covenant, Jesus bestows upon marriage sacramental graces that enable men and women to be faithful to their marriage vows. Likewise, in the New Covenant, the bride of Christ is given the graces to be faithful to her divine spouse. This is what Hosea had foretold when he spoke of how Yahweh would enter into a new covenant marked by fidelity and love.

Jesus often alluded to the fact that He is the bridegroom, and His bride is the Church. For example, when asked why the disciples of John the Baptist and the Pharisees fast, and His do not, He replied:

Can the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? As long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. The days will come, when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in that day (Mk. 2:19-20).

This may seem like a strange response to us, but it made sense to Jesus’ Jewish contemporaries. In Jesus’ day, the Jews would celebrate a wedding feast for an entire week. The Pharisees had the custom of fasting twice a week, but they were exempt from fasting if they were attending a wedding celebration. Jesus refers to this custom to explain that His disciples are like the friends of a bridegroom during the wedding feast, and thus it is inappropriate for them to fast. However, Jesus does point out that a day will come when the bridegroom is taken away—a reference to His death—and then His disciples will fast.

Jesus often employed the imagery of a wedding feast in His teaching. Marriage was more than a metaphor to Jesus; often, it was a thinly veiled allusion to His kingdom. For example, Jesus says:

The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a marriage feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the marriage feast (Mt. 22:2-3).

The invitation to the feast signifies how Israel has been summoned to follow Jesus and enter into the kingdom of God. As it is in the parable, so it is in the ministry of Jesus: The invitation is rejected. Jesus uses this parable to show that God the Father has prepared a wedding feast for Him—the Son. This interpretation of the parable is confirmed by the Book of Revelation, where Saint John sees history climaxing in the wedding feast for Jesus and His bride the Church. The angel who shows Saint John the vision of the wedding exclaims, “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb” (Rev. 19:9). Earlier, when Saint John recorded the events at the wedding feast of Cana in his Gospel, he made no mention of the names of the bride and bridegroom. Some of the Fathers of the Church believe this is intentional, to show that Jesus is the true bridegroom and the Church is His true bride.

Application

For those who have been called to the Sacrament of Marriage, the biblical accounts should renew our commitment to live out our marital vocation to the fullest. The covenant between spouses is integrated into God’s covenant with man: “Authentic married love is caught up into divine love” (Catechism, no. 1639). The vocation of marriage should be a clarion call to each spouse to witness to the unconditional, steadfast, and everlasting love of our God. Each marriage should be an earthly icon of the love of Christ and the Church. Indeed, Saint Paul calls the Sacrament of Marriage a “great mystery” (Eph. 5:32), because it represents the spousal relationship between Jesus and His bride, the Church.

The love of Christ for the Church, and vice versa, is therefore a model for married couples. Saint Paul elaborates on this marital spirituality when he says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). The way we love our spouse is to be a blueprint for how we should love Christ. Conversely, the ways in which we fail to love our spouse is often a sign of how we fail to love God. Marriage provides lessons in love that need to be contemplated so as to deepen our desire and ability to love God.

One of the great privileges and responsibilities of married love is openness to new life. God has blessed marriage from the beginning, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). In this way, family fruitfulness gives witness to the life-giving power of love. Thus the Second Vatican Council and the Catechism observe:

Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day (Catechism, no. 1652; cf. GS 50).

Love is generous, and true love is modeled on the divine, which is self-giving.

The rich biblical teaching on marriage is not exclusively for those who are called to married life. All Christians, both individually and as members of the Church, are called to be as a bride to Christ our bridegroom. Indeed, the saints and doctors of the Church often describe the relationship between God and the soul, in the third and final stage of the interior life, as being spousal. Saints such as John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila refer to the soul as the bride of Christ. The Catechism refers to the spousal nature of the Christian life:

The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist (Catechism, no. 1617).

As we grow in the Christian life, the relationship between the soul and God is to be that of a marital covenant: steadfast, ever-lasting, sacrificial, and fruitful. Saint Paul reminds us of how we are called to be pure and loving brides to Jesus our bridegroom, when he says, “I feel a divine jealousy for you, for I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband” (2 Cor. 11:2).

Questions

1. When did God create marriage? (See Genesis 2:23-25; Matthew 19:4-6.)

2. How are the effects of sins against marriage revealed in the lives of some of the Old Testament patriarchs and kings?

a. Genesis 19:36-38

b. 2 Samuel 11:1-5, 12:7-15

c. 1 Kings 11:1-13

3. How do the prophets characterize Israel’s covenant relationship with Yahweh?

a. Isaiah 54:5

b. Ezekiel 16:8

4. How does Hosea, in his own life, embody Yahweh’s covenant relationship with Israel? (See Hosea 1:2.)

5. Read Matthew 19:8. According to Jesus, why did Moses allow for divorce?

6. Read Ephesians 5:21-33. How is the relationship between spouses to imitate the relationship between Christ and the Church?

7. How is marriage a sign of the spiritual life of the soul? (See Catechism, no. 1617.)

8. For each of the following properties of the marriage bond, how does authentic married love signify and bear witness to the love of God?

a. monogamy

b. indissolubility

c. fruitfulness

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

Switchblade Romance: Looking Back at Alexandre Aja’s HIGH TENSION 15 Years Later

There is a certain sub-genre of horror out there that’s earned some notoriety since its inception in the early-’00s. It’s called the New French Extremity movement, and it typically refers to French-produced horror films with a certain level of violence and savagery. The kind of movie that slaps you in the face with its visceral nature, and leaves you telling all your friends about it for years to come. Fifteen years ago, on June 18, 2003 one of the subgenres most notorious entries was released: Alexandre Aja’s High Tension.

Officially titled Haute Tension in its native France, and released in the U.K. under the slightly cheekier title Switchblade Romance, the film’s brutal nature had people talking from the get-go. Even 7 years after the fact, TIME Magazine named it one of the ‘10 Most Ridiculously Violent Films’ in September of 2010.

    [Please Note: This article discusses in detail the film’s notorious twist]

Marie (Cécile de France) and Alex (Maïwenn) are your run-of-the-mill college students on a road trip to Alex’s family’s home in the French countryside. The reason for the trip, of course, is to buckle down and study their butts off for impending exams. They arrive late at night after the house has gone to sleep, save for Alex’s father whose stayed up to greet them (Dads, right?).  Alex gives Marie a brief tour, and the two decide to turn in for the night. Marie puts her headphones on and decides to – ahem – release some tension (she masturbates), when a big surly dude in a beat-up truck pulls up to the house.

Already, this guy’s problematic with his incessant doorbell ringing at an ungodly hour of the night. Marie is in her room in the attic, wondering what in the fresh hell this bozo could want, while Alex’s poor dad answers the door. Surprise: his intentions are not good.

Long story short, some blood is shed and The Killer (Philippe Nahon) takes Alex with him on his merry way. Marie, having eluded him thanks to some quick and clever thinking, is now tasked with freeing Alex from his grubby clutches. (I mean literally grubby, as this fellow clearly washes his hands with dirt.)

    Bloody Hell

    Now let’s go over the film’s few kills. Becuase what it lacks in quantity, it makes up for in quality. Spoilers obviously follow.

The first, as you may have guessed, is dear old dad. The old man gets cut in the face with a knife before getting his head pushed between the banisters on the stairs, and promptly lopped right off his body with the aid of a nearby bureau. And reader, when I tell you the blood that comes shooting out of his neck is plentiful, I mean plentiful. We’re talking Kill Bill Vol. 1 levels of blood. Alexandre Aja and special makeup effects artist Giannetto De Rossi apparently consulted with a coroner when deciding how much blood to shed, and therefore stand by their choices.

Next there’s the mom, who gets her throat cut right in front of the slatted closet door that Marie is hiding behind. In the unrated cut on the DVD release, the killer pulls her head back making the wound gape open for a second, before the delayed gush of blood kills any appetite you may have previously had. And if explicit gore wasn’t enough, the film has the balls to kill off Alex’s kid brother. It thankfully isn’t shown, but the gunshot is more than enough to make you queasy.

After a forgettable axe to the torso of a gas station attendant, Marie tries to enlist some extra help. After a tense cat-and-mouse game between her and the killer in the woods, he briefly outsmarts her and pins her down, suffocating her. Not one to go down easily, Marie knocks him over the head, grabs a previously fashioned barbed wire-wrapped post and knocks the sh*t out of his ugly face. Over, and over, and over, and over again. It’s a scene harboring such carnal catharsis any horror hound would drool for, and culminates in a guttural scream from Marie, letting out everything she was keeping at bay in order to save the day…

    Twist and Shout

    And then comes the infamous twist. The one that either makes or breaks what has essentially been a pretty straight-forward film up until this point. And yes, even more Spoilers abound.

Earlier in the film, after the carnage at the house, Marie sneaks into the killer’s truck where Alex is. And because even killers gotta get gas at some point, he stops at a station. In one of the film’s best and most suspenseful scenes, we only hear the clicking of the pump as Marie sneaks out and slowly makes a break for the station door. She pleads for help from the attendant, before hiding in the store when the killer comes in to shop around a bit before taking an axe to the attendant.

Fast forward back to the end, and we see two officers pull up to the gas station. They go through the CCTV footage from the security cameras to see Marie...and no one else.

    Turns out Marie is in deep, tragically unrequited love with Alex. To the point where she finally snapped, creating a psychotic identity to kill off anyone who might stand in the way of the two of them being together. “I won’t let anyone come between us anymore” is what she whispers to Alex over and over again at the end of the film, when they have their final confrontation.

Now, this brand of twist has been done plenty of times in the last 15 years since the film premiered in France, so the modern viewer would be forgiven for their fatigue toward it. But back then this was still a relatively novel idea. However, that didn’t stop people from crying ‘It makes no sense!’ or ‘It’s totally pointless and out of nowhere!’

BUT! If you pay close attention to the very beginning moments of the film, it shows a beat-up looking Marie in a hospital gown, hunched over and whispering to herself, “I won’t let anyone come between us anymore” over and over. The camera glides up her slashed back and we reach her hea. In the blurry background in front of her sit two men and a camera. Are they recording? she asks, and the film begins.

An epilogue masquerading as a prologue.

    As such, everything we see up until the point where she finally “kills” the killer, is just her own story that she’s feeding to the police. The kills are included, and everything else is just how she’s made sense of it in her head to support the theory that there really was a different killer. Therefore rendering almost every “it doesn’t make sense” argument all but moot. Because whatever you saw that “doesn’t make sense” was just a story after all.

The only two sustaining arguments I have found are in regards to a particularly confusing severed head, and a car chase in which Marie and the killer are driving separate vehicles until one crashes in the woods. But that could just be lazy lying on her part. And piggybacking off of that argument, where did the truck even come from in the first place? But that’s a plot hole closed by the director’s commentary, where Aja states there was originally a brief moment where Marie catches a glimpse of the truck on the edge of the cornfield early on. Which would suggest she simply highjacked it.

    And as far as the twist being out of nowhere, it’s actually alluded to in many ways throughout, sometimes quite poignantly. In fact, The Killer shows up when Marie is masturbating, thinking of Alex (presumably). And the scene in the gas station where she runs to hide in the bathroom, there is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it hesitation before she chooses whether to go into the Men’s room or the Women’s. She chooses the Women’s, but then sneaks over to the Men’s. A metaphor perhaps?

One I didn’t even notice until this re-watch; after the killer leaves the bathroom, Marie bends down and rinses her face off. Anyone who’s seen a horror movie can tell you she’s probably going to stand back up and see him in the mirror behind her. And here the music does swell as expected, but gets perhaps a touch more foreboding when she stands up and only sees herself.

Who would’ve thought that a French Extremist horror flick with a superficially silly (and admittedly problematic) plot twist could house such weirdly nuanced metaphors of struggling with your own desires?

Where you surprised by High Tension‘s infamous plot twists? Are there any other subtle allusions to Marie‘s psychosis that you caught on a reent re-watch? Let us know in the comments below, on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and in the Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street Facebook group!

      The post Switchblade Romance: Looking Back at Alexandre Aja’s HIGH TENSION 15 Years Later appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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