#no mention of someone loving me
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I wish my mom would stop joking about how she wants to "find an arranged marriage for me" because "at this rate you're never going to find anyone" or "a man who tolerates you" I alr feel easily replaceable and unwanted and unlovable and it really doesn't help when she says these things and constantly mentions my younger brother(s), who are ready to get married soon and I feel the constant pressure to accept just anyone when in reality the reason why I haven't is because they're hounding me constantly whenever I mention the concept of being in a relationship. They want me married but don't want me to leave home. They want me married but don't like the idea of me dating or being men. They want me married but not to accept the concept of me feeling attraction to someone. They want me married but never to fly the nest or have independence of my own and I'm sick I'm so sick of constantly being told or even joked about that a man is going to have to "tolerate" me. thanks a lot.
#no mention of someone loving me#no mention of me finding someone at the right time#just shame upon shame for not having done it sooner even though they're the same people who won't let me#who start having rage fits whenever i am interested in someone#I'm not your damn trapped bird i have my own damn life#i am not a maid here to constantly do chores and earn money and that's it#im sick of it being made out that im such a burden and that anyone who wants me just tolerates me
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#I LOVE PLOTTING AND ALSO SCHEMING#listen i have a lot of feelings and i needed 2 process them and i do that by making art 2 target my mutuals directly#read my about it's there it's in the fineprint if we talk You Are Not Safe smile#i just . BITING BITING BITING this fic#the domesticity the grief the casual yet unfathomably deep soulmatism.......im ruined i tell u Ruined#so naturally i dropped everything#remember how i said lefts/rights r my enemy my beloathed my nemesis. MIRRORS MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE FHGDSAJFGJS I WANTED DEATH#i was like this is incorrect. no this is correct. flips them around in my head. no im wrong again actually#purgatory tbh but we got there (watch me be wrong again tho if i am wrong again i think i will Cry)#anyway!!! i don't have much else to say except pls read the fic and show jinx some love they 1000% deserve it this fic 1000% deserves it#i could only draw so many scenes but i would draw all of it if i could#fr i ws so paranoid abt accuracy lmao cut 2 footage of me looking up rice cooker models and wtf the colour 'carnelian' was#i hope i got everything right i hope i did it justice :'>#also if any1 mentions how megumi's arm in 3 is at an awkward angle. look me in the eye and tell me youve comfortably cuddled with someone#i will call u a liar
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🖤🖤🖤🖤
#obey me#mammon obey me#obey me shall we date#obm#obey me mammon#mammon#obey me fanart#obm mammon#my prince oh how I love him#someone on twt said mammon would rock this dress#and I got mentioned by a person or two and so I decided to draw him in it!!!#I’ll always serve mammonnation I do my country proud
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it's my pet peeve when someone comments something rude on artists' posts so it's an instant block for me :)
#and by pet peeve i mean#it pisses me off~!#also js while i really appreciate that there are people who like the fanart i share#please do NOT mention me on someone else's artwork#i hate that shit#can we all just appreciate the beauty before us that is presented by a wonderful artist#i feel hella weird if someone mentions me when i am literally irrelevant to a post#anyway#back to looking at beautiful hazbin fanart and being obsessed with the show#have a lovely night
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projecting on luffy again. get bited.
#zolu#luzo#one piece#p.s. i claimed to maximum amount of straw hat badges but im only allowed to display them on my main account 😥 they are with me in spirit#p.p.s. have you ever bit a soft upper arm#i think zoros unflexed muscly upper arms would be the most stimmy thing in the world to chew on#me when i see the pumpkinhead halloween luffy world collectible figure. bite.#or some of the unreleased gear5 figures esp the world collectibles#okay maybe im on a world collectible figure kick i just think they are sooooooooooooooo!!!! (≧∇≦) ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡#the markup to buy them used is insane tho ;__; so i just love them from afar#honorable mention to the new 20th anniversary action pose luffy with the haki arm and the big big fighting grin#and all babygirl zoros which i what i call zoro wearing any sunglasses but mostly filmz and filmgold sunglasses zoro#and when i see any art of my boys in their cowboy fits!!!!!!!#GGAAAAAH IM SO EXCITED I bought the ao cowboy shimmer print had to get it sent to someone in the states who will then ship it to me ;__;#<3 <3 <3 soon i will hold them. need to get some sort of wall display going for them and my zolu mail#okay okay ive ranted about a million things in the tags now. hope you enjoyed the bited. byeeeee
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just gonna drop this here without any context
#can someone recreate this with wade and logan?#gonna briefly mention that they have matching bracelets#hugh here reminds me of him in hot ones#love the energy they give off#hugh jackman#ryan reynolds#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#poolverine
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smile, iruma! | hey ive been here before
#iruma suzuki#clara valac#azz alice asmodeus#love trio#m!ik#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#irumas expression in the first one went through lotsa phases#lotsa extreme frusterated and sickly faces#which felt a little ooc to me cuz irumas someone who smiles in the face of despair#but also we’ve seen iruma at his most frusterated and fed up in reaction to his parents#(at least until kalegos brother told him he was disgusting which btw we should jump him for that)#(and SORTA when gyari calls him ugly but that was less serious lol)#anyway i decided to try going for a very tired forced smile for this#abuse mention#<just in case#to me this is irumas parents presenting iruma to a camera for a family portrait so they can show off their darling little boy to friends#meanwhile darling little boy has been eating trash behind the mall they found him at#so hes tired and hungry cuz the last time he saw em was two months ago otherwise he would have faked it a little better#i think in this moment hes frustrated and a little disgusted by them#enough to almost deny the treats they dangle over him#but rule one (1) is iruma suzuki that cannot say no#im not sure i conveyed the little micro expression kinda frusteration that i wanted to but its close nough#style change for love trio suddenly iruma has lips my bad LOL#suits the theme tho! i think irumas genre; art style; life changes when he met those two#clarazz would hate being compared to irumas dusty ass parents in any way even as foils sorry to them for this post actually ��#ANYWAY…#did u know love trio have the same smile?#fanart#my art
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I need the pokemas anniversary to come soon so we can hopefully see volo go batshit crazy again for the second time!!!
#please please please give us a volo and giratina alt I BEG YOUUUU @ pokemas writers and devs 😭😭😭😭😭#his expression range is INSANE like. how can he look so unhinged because he made a deal with the devil but look so HOT while he's at it!!!#particularly the last screenshot... those wide crazed eyes... oooooh game freak was cooking and the kitchen exploded in a fire i fear#a.k.a they cooked so hard that this whole sequence will Haunt me the rest of my life like cynthia's piano intro for sure#also have i mentioned that he's so hot. how the hell does he do that#it's 12 am and i just woke up from a super long nap and i just miss him so much... i need to see him in pokemas or the mainline game again#gawd yeah i'm still obsessed with the last screenshot. never in a million years would i expect to see someone who looks like cynthia use#an expression like that... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love pla so much you guyssss#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon wielder volo#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon#pla#pokemon: legends arceus#hisui
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I don’t understand the concept of sex as the natural progression of romance. I understand having sex, I understand how it can be romantic, I just don’t understand how it is seen as the only course that romance takes.
Like love confessions immediately turning to sex is always so ???????? to me. Like ok get it I guess but how did we get here???
#it’s just very confusing to me#i don’t quite get how romance and sex are connected#to me those are two very disconnected things#like yeah i could probably hook up with a hot girl at a club#but i don’t think id ever confess my love to someone and immediately#jump their bones or whatever#what even is love actually#might be aro#idk#asexual#aroace#cw sex mention#asexuality#cw sexuality#arospec#acespec#my txt#1k notes
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what was the point of lila thinking home was a feeling she didn't deserve and could never earn until she found diego. what was the point of them finding deep, meaningful love in each other. what was the point of lila opening her heart and confessing that all she really wanted was a family with him.
what was the point of developing diego and lila over two seasons, creating such a beautiful, chaotic bond, just to destroy it for no reason.
#the umbrella academy#diego x lila#lila pitts#diego hargreeves#what was the point!!!!!!#isn't it great when there's no character resolution and everyone just gets erased from existence#instead of giving us emotional closure they just added more pain and trauma and called it a day#what was it all for exactly. to give the handler a peaceful happy life of all people#don't even get me started on the bracelet or that awful pointless love triangle#steve blackman is gross and so is the way he talks about lila like she's not even a character in her own right but just an afterthought#someone who was there to pair with five while diminishing all that she is#five needed a love story so they just shoved lila into that role as if she were some random accessory to five's story#rather than her own character with thoughts and feelings#a woman's entire character arc is ruined just to give a guy a love interest#i feel sick#i've already mentioned some of this on twitter but whatever#as you can probably guess i'm not going to gif this so-called new season#lila deserved better. diego deserved better. we deserved better
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Reasons to play In Stars and Time: Canon Pronoun Warfare.
#in stars and time#ISAT#Siffrin#Loop#Context: early on you meet a character who tries to get you to use the royal We pronoun for them and you shut them down. It's great.#The gender swag and non-binary rep in this game is lovely.#I sketched this out when I was in Act 2 - and as of posting this I have not yet finished the game so *please* no spoilers.#It is rare for me to get into something spoiler free and I have been getting my shit rocked by this game in the best way.#Yes I *am* taking another detour to talk about a video game I love again. I will have some fun crossovers. Trust the process.#I will also do my best to pitch this game as spoiler free as possible. Because you *should* play this game:#ISAT is a very lovingly crafted RPG with very fun and emotional writing.#The characters are great and the mysteries you slowly uncover are intriguing!#The way the gameplay ties into the player's own emotional state is nearly always in sync with the protagonist. You *will* feel things.#And it is not afraid to let those things be hard emotions! Do mind the content warnings and know your limits though.#As someone who sucks at video games I also appreciate that it is so generous with your time and keeps things fun.#Not to mention it is honestly underpriced for the amount of content in it. Buy this game. I need to spread the brainworms.
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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really do not think people understand the extent to which palestinian sites/landmarks (especially muslim ones) were destroyed, beginning in 1948 until now, even in cities. the oldest extant mosque in jaffa (al-bahr mosque) was built in 1675, even though islam came there in the 7th century
#not to mention that many mosques that /were/ restored but are in 'jewish areas' r heavily guarded & prayer is hardly if ever allowed#to anyone thinking ''you can say the same thing abt jewish sites in mena countries''. you can't have one repaired w/o the other#and ultimately the root of the problem is both the colonization of palestine + antisemitism. advocating for palestine + against#antisemitism are far from mutually exclusive#(and for the love of god please stop using mena jews as a political gotcha i swear to god#and it's not like a regime that forced everyone to integrate into the ''new jewish'' culture is any less genocidal)#as someone who comes from one of the jewish groups who was affected by that to arguably one of the highest degrees & who's also a staunch#antizionist even i know that. politics re: cultural site preservation are stupid but that doesn't make it any less stomach-wrenching#it really is just Luck. al-bahr mosque just so Happens to be in a ''mixed city'' so destroying it'd be a ''bad look''#the tomb of nahum just so Happens to be in an autonomous kurdish territory so restoring it isnt as big a deal#and then people have the gall to wonder how i could ever ever ever sympathize with those ''savage arabs''. seriously??#btw im muting notificaions on this post so if you have a problem with me just dm me or block me whatever idc
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"you're always the car crash ronan" of course he is!! what else could he possibly be? he's an ancient being shrunken down and shoved into the body of a gay 18 year old boy yet still left with the capacity to feel the full intensity of every human emotion imaginable in it's entirety and create things beyond comprehension without the knowledge of why or how or most importantly what for. one day he wakes up to find the family he depends on to give him a place in this world shattered and broken at his feet and has nowhere to go and he can't go home. he's a fast car on a closed track... what else is left for him to do but spin out???
#mentioned I was holding this in my drafts and someone asked after it..... here u go!!!!!#i probably would have held it longer to shape and edit it more but I've had this for over a year and the ppl asked so they receive#one thing abt me over here at kazbiter is I will talk abt anything if u encourage me to do so#this mouth does not stop running!!!!#anyways yeahhhhhhhh ronan I love u#ronan lynch#the dreamer trilogy#the raven cycle
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#someone mentioned this to me and i went 'that cant be right it was the anniversary like a few months ago!' but apparently not#apparently i am thinking of last year !#wild i havent seen anything abt this yet ...#ceci says stuff#mcr#ibymbybmyl#my chemical romance#i brought you my bullets you brought me your love#100
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