#no just use the notes app
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Unpopular opinion but I actually like Jessica’s diver outfit. I think it’s camp and tacky which is very much her personality. The one leg and the high heels are so stupid I can’t help but love it.
#it’s so stupid#jessica sherawat#semi related but I wouldn’t mind a revelations remake in the near future#replayed a little recently and there’s some struggle bus moments going on#might just be projecting because I don’t know how to play without a controller at this time#but also Jill’s face was a big problem back in the day#do want to see my husband Parker back though#and no a manga isn’t enough#I do think because conspiracy brain if a remake were to happen that would mean loose ends would be tied up in the future#Jessica I’m looking at you with your triple agent nonsense#I can only speculate so much#also remake because nobody seems to want to play raid mode anymore and it’s so fun#was about to go on about how the resident evil multiplayer games suck when raid mode is so good#but I think I’ve complained before#may have to conceptualise one for my own sanity#okay no I’ll write stuff down so i’m not clogging these tags#but I want to ramble so bad#no just use the notes app#just get off this post ffs
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cw. none except satoru being disgustingly cute (part 2)
satoru isn’t used to people calling him anything other than his surname. gojo-san to most, gojo-sensei to others. it’s simple, and gets the job done.
only a handful of people stick to calling him by his given name. to them, he’s satoru. it’s easy, and rolls of the tongue, and he greatly prefers it over the sound of his surname. it makes him feel like an actual person.
satoru never entertained the possibility of being called anything else other than those two names. he didn’t think it would ever happen.
for once, he was glad to be proven wrong.
“tough day, pretty?” you ask gently, and he sighs with a nod as he throws himself into your opened arms. his body moulds easily into yours, and he lets out a heavy groan as he settles onto the couch with you. the groan is loud, and over-exaggerated.
it’s so satoru.
you have to stifle a giggle.
“everything went horribly wrong,” he grumbles, his voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “the higher ups were up my ass again, my students laughed at me again, and when i finally made it to that bakery you liked they were out of your favourite pastries so i couldn’t get them for you—again!”
“oh, my poor baby,” you coo, and gently push his bangs out of his face. he nods in agreement, faking an immense amount of sympathy for himself. “‘s okay, at least you tried, hm? i think that’s very sweet.”
satoru hums, as if he’s deeply thinking about your words. “’m still your baby?” he mumbles, deciding that’s the most important thing right now. his eyes briefly flutter shut, consumed by utter bliss as you play with the hairs on his undercut.
“mhm, still my baby.”
“yeah? what else am i?”
this time you do giggle. he does this sometimes. you aren’t exactly sure why—but on tough days, satoru likes to crawl into your arms and listen to you call him every cheesy nickname under the sun. it’s easily providable and makes him so very happy, so you always indulge him.
“my honey bun.”
“and?”
“my boo bear.”
“mhm.”
“my sweetheart.”
“yes?”
you laugh softly. “my mochi,” you coo, and pinch his cheek. it’s a little squished because he’s laying on your chest, but it emphasises your point.
he grins under your touch. it’s adorable.
“keep them coming, please?” he asks, and you do. you always do, unable to refuse him. especially when he asks so sweetly.
“my sugar cookie.”
“my muffin.”
“my baby cakes.”
“my angel.”
“my love.”
“my husband.”
“h—huh?” satoru stammers, looking up from your chest. he lays his chin on your sternum, baby blue eyes blinking up at you. they’re filled with awe, surprise, and utter glee. “that’s, i’m not. . .”
“just testing the title, baby,” you tell him, and continue playing with his hair. he bathes in your touch and you smile softly as he grabs and kisses the palm of your hand. “what do you think, hm?”
“i think you should call me it again.”
“oh?”
“mhm,” he mumbles.
“my dearest husband.”
“again.”
“my handsome husband.”
“again.”
“my sweet husband.”
“again, please?”
you hum, impressed. “my well-mannered husband.”
satoru chuckles, and lays back down on your chest. his white hair tickles against your skin, and he sighs in content.
“i think i want to be your husband for real.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” he mumbles and nuzzles further into your hold. “y’ve got the same ring size still, right?”
“i sure do,” you say, a content smile on your lips as you watch him slowly doze off to sleep.
“hm, good to know.”
for satoru, those nicknames make him feel as if he’s something even greater than a person—it makes him feel yours.
he’s not just gojo, the strongest. he’s not just satoru, the at-times somewhat immature adult with the sweet tooth of a child.
he’s yours. your baby. your honey bun. your boo bear. your mochi. your boyfriend. your love. and for satoru, there’s no greater thing in the world than that.
#ꕤ — sanatomis darling: gojo satoru#usually i list the nicknames i have from him of the top of my head but i’ll admit it guys#i opened my notes app for this one#i call him so many nicknames i know mimi is sick of us#very self-indulgent once again my apologies (or not)#HES JUST SO#adorable#he’s everything and he deserves every nickname#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader fluff#satoru gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#sneaking it in again guys sorry#⍣ ❥ ೋ 𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑖.
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Steve’s parents send him on a gap year after high school in hopes that it’ll get him ready to apply to colleges and become a proper adult. They let him choose any of their three vacation homes so he chooses their condo in Paris.
He’s expected to find a job and himself.
The bakery down the block from the condo is owned by two old men who don’t wanna open anymore because they like sleeping in and sipping on their coffee on their balcony. Steve is happy to take over.
Especially when he sees the guy who works at the wine store across the road.
He’s in by 8 every morning, waving to the people coming in and out of the bookshop next to him and the bike repair shop next to them. His smile is contagious, and Steve often finds himself completely distracted by it even if he’s helping customers.
His long hair is always down when he gets there, but by the time Steve sees him leave in the afternoon, it’s pulled up and he has a sweaty sheen across his skin.
Steve decides to visit on his day off, maybe grab a bottle of wine even though he hates every wine he’s ever had to sip on at family functions.
But the man isn’t there when he stops by, or at least not at the counter. An older man is there, wrapping a bottle in paper for a customer who seems like they visit often.
It’s a small store, no bigger than the bakery, so it’s not like the guy could be hiding somewhere.
“Looking for something?” The older man asks as he walks around the counter towards Steve with a smile.
“Oh. Um.”
“You’re lookin’ for Ed right?” The old man’s smile turned into a smirk. “Ed! Customer!”
The man Steve had been seeing every morning and afternoon was suddenly rushing from the back of the store, clipboard in hand, hair sticking to his neck and forehead.
“Hi! What can I help you with?”
Steve could think of quite a few things he could help him with, but it probably wasn’t appropriate to say in front of someone else in his place of work.
“Sorry. Do you need me to speak French?” The man, Ed, asked in flawless French.
“No,” Steve assured. “I work in the bakery across the street. Just wanted to come by and say hi.”
Ed’s brows furrowed as he turned to the older guy who was already back at the counter trying to look busy.
“Does David need a bottle for something? He usually has Wayne pick his pairings.”
Steve shook his head. “No, not that I know of. I’ve just…um. Well, this is actually weirder now that I’m here. So I think I’ll go. Sorry to waste your time!”
Steve turned to go, but a hand grabbed his arm, tugging him back.
“Are you always this awkward?” Ed asked. Steve looked up from his feet to see him smiling. “It’s kind of cute.”
“Steve.”
“Steve. How about you come taste our sample bottle for the day? Maybe it’ll take the edge off,” Eddie offered, gesturing towards a side table that had an open bottle of wine and small sample glasses. “You like rosé?”
“I don’t really know.”
“Then let’s find out.”
Turns out Steve didn’t mind rosé that much, but maybe that was the company. The flavor was a bit less bitter than he was used to, going down much smoother without leaving a burning sensation on his tongue.
And later, after Eddie had talked to him for nearly an hour about himself and the store and his uncle who took him in and worked for him, Steve leaned in and got a taste of the rosé on Eddie’s tongue.
Steve decided he liked wine more than he thought.
#literally my notes app said just post this dumb bitch#that’s what it said to me#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#this is as developed as it will ever be#no I’m not gonna explain how Eddie got to fuckin Paris with Wayne#close your eyes and use your imagination#any explanation is fine with me#Steve doesn’t go to college because the two old men give him the bakery
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#girlhood#girlblogging#tumblr girls#just girly things#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del rey#this is what makes us girls#coquette#blythe doll#coquette dollete#netflix#sad thoughts#sadgirl#pinterest#i love tumblr#spotify#notes#note app#girl interrupted#hell is a teenage girl#lux lisbon#the virgin suicides
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“So, babysitting?”
Alberu follows after the delinquent. From the record the vice-principal gave him access to, Cale frequently drinks alcohol, he often gets himself into a lot of fights, and he barely passed his classes at the end of the grading period. The teachers never call on him in class, girls and boys avoid him alike, and he is- supposedly- completely intolerable.
Which is why Alberu Crossman, who’s only a little older yet infinitely more mature has been assigned by the principal (his father) to get the troublemaker under thumb. Cale's father is quite wealthy, actually, and since there isn't much known about the successor to the Henituse family... it'd be bad if he had to be expelled.
Cale scowled. “Yes, babysitting, your highness. Please, leave if you must,” He jeers at Alberu, but internally he thinks, 'No, really. Please leave.' Otherwise, he might get caught in the act.
Of not actually being Cale.
Roksu aims a sour expression at Alberu, who returns it with a more flowery one. Acting as his twin for the day had been easy enough, mainly because being trash is great!- until Alberu Crossman strolled into his lunch period and introduced himself.
He is even following him out of the school to his job. Well, this job is Roksu’s and not Cale’s, but because he can’t ditch work nor can he get glib-tongued Alberu off his tail-
Well shit.
Thankfully, the kids call him hyung. Except Raon, who calls him human. Hopefully Alberu doesn’t look into it too much. If everything goes right, Alberu Crossman will be Cale's problem to deal with tomorrow. As it should have been.
“I didn’t know you liked kids, Cale,” Alberu smiles charmingly, walking side by side with Roksu. “Can you introduce me?” Roksu struggles to not put on his own disarming smile out of spite, instead plastering on a classic Cale Sneer™. It fits on his face perfectly, like he’s playing a character in a play.
They enter the building and ‘Cale’ guides Alberu to a colorful playroom, decked out in toys and a fountain of running water as the centerpiece (A gift from his father, who is still upset that Roksu doesn't visit more often). There’s a tray of fruits and oatmeal on the small table in the corner of the room, except not a soul to be seen. Picking up a bowl of oatmeal and finding the ceramic to still be hot, Roksu almost smiles.
Alberu frowns. Where are the kids he's supposed to babysit?
Roksu tells the empty air, "Come on out."
Three children appear out of nowhere in front of them.
“Hyung!”
“Human! You’re back!”
“Hyung, nya.” On examines Alberu some more.
All of the kids had been revealed the moment that Roksu spoke, as Raon unveiled the invisibility on them.
Raon runs up and grabs Roksu’s hand, who places it on his head, rubbing the black hair comfortingly. “Mm.” Raon beams at the affection.
“Raon, On, Hong,” they each look up at him at the call of their names. “This is Alberu Crossman, he is doing a report on my trashy behavior. Don’t be rude."
All three children become hostile immediately. “He isn't trash!”
On observes Alberu with an intense glare. Raon shifts under Roksu’s hand, his deep blue eyes glinting with magic. Roksu positions him away from the older teen’s view. Raon grips onto Roksu’s pant leg with a vengeance. Hong stares openly, offensive.
Alberu smiles at them.
"I'm visiting with Cale Hyung for today, nice to meet you."
Hong gasps suddenly.
“He-!” On gives her brother a look, and he clamps his hands over his mouth. Alberu feels a deep curiosity, as if something isn’t quite as it seems.
Roksu sighs. It’s going to be a long hour.
At the midway point, Alberu has easily disarmed the children. They look fascinated at the magic he shows them, while Roksu can only rub a palm over Raon’s shoulder as a warning to keep his dragon magic under control. He's still just a child that wants to brag. Everything is going well.
Bang!
“Hey Roksu! How was-“ Cale bursts through the door, bright red hair equipped with a shit-eating grin, wearing clothes far less fancy than his usual. He tenses up, frozen in place when he spots Alberu on the floor, politely sitting "crisscross applesauce" with the children. Roksu narrows a withering glare at his twin.
“… Roksu?”
Alberu looks at ‘Cale,’ sitting next to him, the one he's spent the entire day with, who is trying to send what must be the real Cale into the sun with his eyes.
“Ha… ha?” Cale winces. Roksu wipes his expression from his face.
“Cale-hyung, run! That’s the human’s bad look!” Alberu’s eyes widen as he watches the confirmed real Cale bolt back into the hallway and out of the front door. Alberu whips his head back toward the stranger behind him, who is a perfect replica of the Cale who ran like Hell. Cale has an identical twin?? Since when? Why doesn't he go to school?
Roksu levels an emotionless gaze at Alberu. “Hello, your highness. Don’t mind me.”
Alberu can only watch in astonishment as this stranger walks out of the playroom, with a smooth and deadly gait as he hunts down his twin like a predator would to prey. He recalls the look 'Roksu' gave him and it sends a shiver down the principal’s son’s spine. That gaze held secrets.
Something about this stranger is even more interesting than the sudden appearance of a twin.
On walks up to him, sitting down in his lap and looking into his eyes. “Roksu-hyung will be back soon, nya!” Hong bounds over and sits next to his sister, grinning widely. Raon huffs and looks at the door. He wants his human to come back.
#Roksu is Cale's lost twin who reunited with the Henituse family at 16. he went to a charter school and speedran his education#which is why he doesn't go to high school with Cale#Roksu didn't want attention from the public so his existence is kept secret from most everyone outside of the family and tight-lipped staff#Cale wanted to skip school that day (he heard Albert would be coming to monitor) and tricked Roksu into dealing with it for him#not that Roksu didn't receive something in return for pretending to be Cale... but now he's going to 'negotiate' a better deal with his twi#anyway that's all I remember about this#hong was going to say 'He thinks Roksu hyung is Cale hyung!' but stopped himself from revealing it in time#kim rok soo#kim roksu#cale henituse#og cale henituse#lcf#lotcf#lout of the counts family#tcf#totcf#trash of the counts family#fic#ughhh I'm not as diligent with my tags as I used to be#tcf raon miru#lcf ohn#tcf hong#yayay#posting old writing so it doesn't rot in my notes app any longer#if I was smarter I would post it on ao3 but I don't really write enough words to bother doing that#not a reblog#alberu crossman#alver crossman#alcale#I put the ship tag but not because it's a ship thing. I just think the shippers would appreciate this
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I laughed at that post that’s as like “I read through a whole fic and realized at the end that I wrote it” but that exact situation is happening to me currently. Did. Did I write this. It’s by orphan account did I write this
#I CANT TELL OR REMEMBER. BUT IT USES… PHRASES I LIKE? PHRASING I USE CONSTANTLY#I DONT REMEMBER WRITING THIS SO MAYBE NOT BUT.#MAYBE?#THE WRITING VOICE SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR I THOUGHT MAYBE IVE JUST READ IT BEFORE. BUT I THINK I WROTE IT ACTUALLY#kipspeak#The specific turns of phrase are so specifically. Me sounding. And it’s tailored to my tastes. But I can’t remember writing it at a#And I’ll never have proof its not in my Google docs or my notes app#and it was published 2017 which lines up…
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Me and the gang all pulling up in the comments of the same ao3 fic unprompted
#the boat boys community seems kinda big but after a while you realize that all of us are just just VERY Not Normal about them#so it’s really just 20 people sitting in a circle#and everyone reads almost everyone’s fics#so we all show up in the comments#loving seeing users I recognize in there#boat boys#smalletho#the boat boys#boat boy#life series#trafficblr#hermitcraft#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#Etho#ethoslab#ao3 community#ao3#ao3 comments#I need to upload another boat boys fic so this could happen to me tbh#my other one while I loved it did not get this treatment#idk how to start it I have like 8 separate drafts all sitting in my notes app
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spock remembers the loneliness of his childhood in shades of red, like dust clinging to his skin under a green sky, brittle and hollow and far too vast.
but now-- now, the loneliness is far away, a distant memory in this warm bed, because how could the world be too vast, when he has his whole universe in the warm bodies pressed up against him-- when he has everything he could ever have wished for in his arms.
he is not lonely, he thinks to himself, as leonard shifts against his chest and jim makes a soft, adoring sound, muffled in his hair. not anymore.
...
prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "therapy" ^^ spock works through his childhood trauma in space by being gay. what an icon
4 down!!! hell yeah 🩵💙💛
side note if anyone was wondering. THIS is what my screen time looks like (casually spending nearly 13 hours drawing in the apple notes app per week when medibang paint is sitting pretty at just 2 hours total. The power of hypfix amirite)
#star trek#star trek tos#star trek aos#tos#aos#spock#star trek fanart#mcspirk#mcspirk fanart#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#jim kirk#mcspirk bingo#i feel like i should get some kind of award for having 12h weekly in the notes app#like if you stalked my ipad you would think i was a workaholic or something#no im just insane about these old space guys who need therapy (they get it in each other)#daily posting is both harder and easier than i thought (harder bc i lean perfectionistic easier bc inspo hits hard)#ALSO im suprised how beary i-chaya came out given that i didnt use refs this time nor last time#neato
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Did you like the new ending :3 (fuck the old one)
I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! It's the best logical way the dsmp could've ended AND because it's so open-ended, it leaves a lot of room for the fandom to build on, which isn't something you see a lot in media nowadays.
HOWEVER, it has been really bothering me these past few days since it was released, and I've had complex feelings about it that I haven't really been able to figure out until somewhat recently. Though, this is probably just me lol!
I'm gonna try to make this as short and legible as I can, but as you know I'm so very bad at that so sorry in advance.
Dsmp has been my main source of entertainment and an escape from just life in general since I first started getting into it—which was back in mid-2020 or so, but that was less of dsmp itself and more of the fandom. Though I still really enjoy the content creators content itself, I've watched them less and less and on the occasion that I see a clip or quote by them (especially Tommy) it's SO jarring how much they've changed and matured, and it's only a reminder of how I've done the same. That's the feeling I got when seeing the new lore. Everything has changed, people have matured, relationships have drifted apart, and we are living in the present.
It's like the feeling of finding an old toy that you distinctly remember loving so very much way back then and realizing you feel indifferent to it now. You've changed, your taste of things you enjoy changed, your relationships with people have changed, and you've grown.
I don't want to go back but I don't want to stop reminiscing, and this ending has made me realize that.
#this is very poorly explained and the point of just how much ive been focused on the past of dsmp and avoided the future isnt emphasized#as much as i want but i already stayed up for an hour staring at the ceiling trying to put my feelings into words before writing a HUUGGEEE#and messy paragraph into my notes app just a few nights ago so i think this is fine for now#i might come back and try to word it better but the feeling hasnt fully gone away yet so#also i just realized this may come off as a vent but ITS NOT!!! I SWEAR#its just like having a bucket of ice water dumped on my head suddenly#also that last line is so ctommy#am i a ctommy kinnie??#i mean it IS true that i didnt used to be this angry#but i think that just comes with becoming a teenager#so very sorry for the rant i just had to say it and your the perfect victim#<- cdream to ctommy:#dream smp#dsmp#tommyinnit#jack manifold#ctommy#ctommyinnit#cjack#cjack manifold#cbitterduo#cbitter duo#crazed raccoon chitters#my super cool moots !!
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★what if. what if I shared a cringe little (long) something, I dunno, some self indulgent stuff that was just dusting in my notes app. okay fuck it, here we go.★
— |✧| rise!donatello hamato with a borrower reader (romantic??)
— |★| Sooo, after a few months have passed since Donnie discovered borrower!reader snooping around in his- apart from some conflict regarding (reader) stealing stuff from his lab the first few days prior knowing about their existence- they've been trying to form a little bond with each other, building up their trust and.. friendship- in a rather slow manner. Because it is quite hard for a 6 inch tall being to trust a stoic- and at times, erratic mutant scientist, and it is quite difficult for Donnie to trust the little creature that's been thieving from him.. well they did it in order to survive- but still !!
— |★| So, yeah- they are taking the whole 'forming trust process' slow and stuff- for example, (borrower!reader) bringing back donatello's equipment that they haven't used yet- and in return, he acts less..cold- towards them. The bare minimum and stuff.
— |★| Though, as time passes on- those subtly and shy signs of them building up a bond, could get a bit more casual- if that makes sense. For instance, they could exchange little gifts with eachother, maybe attempt to make small talk with Donnie attempting to not overwhelm (borrower!reader) in the process. Now, Donatello could still be skeptical of (borrower!reader's) decision to bring him little presents and equipment for him and his inventions, however I feel like he would as well find their shy acts of generosity a bit.. cute?? Maybe, though he would try and brush off those thoughts, since he can't possibly find a small little creature that has been scurrying around in his lab 'cute'.. (or can he??)
— |★| So, let's say now- the gift-giving begins to get accompanied by conversations and such. Maybe (borrower!reader) could oh- so curiously ask about his creations and express genuine wonder and such. Now, that would as well make Donnie feel flattered, and as well gratitude towards (borrower!reader) for actually wanting to hear about his inventions. But, still- the small- burning feeling in his brain still whispers some shit about them being 'cute', and everytime they seem to visit- it just strengthens. Growing subtly, that is.
— |★| Yeah, so- while trying to form a platonic bond, Donnie ends up falling for (reader) against his very own will- still having a little pit in the back of his brain telling him that it's a bit shameful for himself to show signs that the tiny creature who used to 'borrow' his stuff- which annoyed him to a great degree, is now bringing him gifts and expressing actual wants to learn about him and his interests. Those little actions alone, for some reason- make him want to get a little more soft with (borrower!reader) ?? And it quite bothers him, and stuff.
#★anyways urhhhhh correct me if anything here seems occ#just got this straight from my notes app urhh—#the original purpose of this concept was for me to use it as a request to writers by the way#but erh#the g/t brainrot is getting to me#andddd I wanted to post this.#by the way this is not edited or proof read or anything or something something#...so. that ended vaguely —★#rottmnt#riseofthetmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise donnie#rise donatello#rise donnie x reader#rise donatello x reader#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt donnie x reader#rottmnt donatello x reader#rottmnt gt#rottmnt g/t#rottmnt giant/tiny#gt#gianttiny#giant tiny#g/t#giant/tiny#gt community#giant tiny community
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im so emotionally attached to jason grace it's not even funny atp. i literally think about him all day, I'm not exaggerating pls someone tell me they feel this way too 😮💨
#i actually might need to stop posting jason grace content for a while bc it's getting overwhelming lmao. the hyperfixation is REAL#I have so many ideas about him to post that i had to write it down on my notes app 😭#it's gotten so bad that I have attention span issues to do real life tasks bc I just wanna keep talking abt jason's character all day-#i actually went like 1/2 months without a jason grace hyper fixation. that's around the time I was inactive on tumblr#but these past few weeks the hyper fixation is hitting me harder. I'm pretty sure you can tell by how many posts i spammed this week#the fact that the jason grace x reader community isn't as active as it was back then is also not helping my hyperfixation at all#there used to be HEAPS of them every day that I looked forward to reading them every morning now I can't even see 2 in a week#i used these fics as an 'aid' for my attachment and still kinda do#also don't even get me started on how his death devastates me every single day omg like I feel genuine RAGE#pjo fanfic#pjo#pjo hoo toa#pjo series#percy jackson#percy jackson fandom#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo fandom
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happy TWO YEAR anniversary to everyone who attended the destiel wedding!
and happy valentines day to the rest of you guys <3 click the image for a surprise!
if you’ve ever seen that one post (i’ll link it in the replies) about the parallels between the rodeo scene in 12x11 and the movie “urban cowboy” and it entirely broke your brain, then this post is for you. and also i’m kissing you on the mouth
[ID. Digital art of Dean Winchester done in black and white. He’s is laid back on top of an electric bull. One hand rests on his hip while the other hovers in mid-air, fingers slightly curled, and he seems to be looking at it. When clicked, the transparency shows Castiel standing behind him. Castiel is holding Dean’s hand to his lips, while his other hand supports the back of Dean’s head. Castiel has a visible halo and wings that he has curled protectively around Dean. End ID.]
#destiel wedding anniversary#destiel#destiel fanart#spn#spn fanart#dean winchester#castiel#ficta et picta#a personal blogging experience#PLEASE NOTE THAT THE SURPRISE ONLY WORKS IN LIGHT MODE#if you clicked the picture and nothing changed then you're using the app/website in sth other than light mode and thatll just not work sry#anyway shoutout to tumblr users nottherealdean and sagegarnish ill hopefully remember to add their post in the replies in a minute#but thanks to them i have not and WILL never be normal about that scene.#nearly TWO YEARS this concept has been swimming in my head and now FINALLY i had the skills and idea to fully COMMIT#also im ngl this is one of those pieces that i only meant to quickly sketch out and then work on later#and instead it turned into a one-time five-hour sorta hyperfocus tunnel job#and i was so IMMEDIATELY pleased with the outcome and i still am. this has absolutely become one of my favourite destiel fanart pieces#that ive ever made. <3 these idiots are ruining my life and its chronic
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Maybe next time Leo >:3c
#Very sorry about the crappy quality#I'm using my notes app#I was totally 100% paying attention during class and stuff#Just started spacing a bit and thinking about silly goobers ~#kiki doodles#rottmnt#rottmnt oc#oc#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#mika#rise of tmnt#Rise oc#rise leo#rise leonardo#Oc Mika#Oc Ember#Ember#Tmnt#Tmnt oc#teenage mutant ninja turtles
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@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)
Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.
Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return.
Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them.
He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.
That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates.
Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.
Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word.
Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair.
It’s wonderful.
It's the worst.
“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.”
Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking.
“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.”
“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.”
Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends.
He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows.
“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.”
It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it.
“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears.
His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp.
“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.”
Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.
“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.”
"What if I take too much?"
"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."
“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does.
Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.
“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.”
The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat.
“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”
Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.
“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.
“I get you. I get everything.”
Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours.
#i didn't think i was gonna be able to do steddie week becuase it crept up on me and i haven't kept up#and i wasn't gonna post this but like i wrote this in like 40 minutes in a haze and then went on tumblr and saw one of the#prompts for day 1 was hunger and i had literally just written this thing where i used hunger as a metaphor so i went back and reread it#and did some edits and now im posting it#which well i usually stick to humor in my writing so this is always scary but here we are#this is so different from what i usually post but this is also representative of like 70% of my notes app i just dont share#this kind of writing but fuck it i guess#my writing#dels steddie thoughts#steddieweek2023#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#steddie fic#steddie week
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#girlblogging#im just a girl#lana del ray aesthetic#whisper girl#lizzy grant#just girly things#coquette#coquette aesthetic#girl interrupted#just girly thoughts#cute#ldr unreleased#this is a girlblog#2014 tumblr#this is so cunty#hell is a teenage girl#please just one chance#just a girlblog#lana unreleased#kim kardashian#feminine urge#vacation bible school#notes app#american vintage#cindy kimberly#ldr moodboard#marie antoinette#this is what makes us girls#yo soy la princesa#edcore
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