#no its not cool it's terrible and i hate myself because of that

[owlwithascarf]

Alr so now that I'm no longer using a other social media app I'll be here posting about my status or whatever comes to mind like "SUDDEN COMBUSTION" or some low intelligence stuff

[killyjae]

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[luvlyycy]

eye starts twitching.

i wanna kms.

[tinylittlebab]

ill be skinny and dying and ill look beautiful and people will like me it has to happen or id rather die

whats the point of being lonely and in pain all the time and then having to get a job and hate doing that if i have no friends and hate myself. the one thing that keeps me wanting to live wont be good enough once u have to work and in that case id rather just die

:(

[withdrawingramen]

i think shame & its manifestations in whump is not talked about enough. like i love when whumpee is physically unable to tell caretaker about all they went through, not only because it is insanely distressing to relive but also because it's humiliating. 'how can someone be so cruel?' is another question, but we're also talking 'how did i let that happen to myself?' from whumpee's perspective. often times post something traumatizing whumpees develop this deep-seated feeling of hopelessness & helplessness & misguided anger which is just in sweet words not cool

because think about it, the whumpee could not stop anything from happening to them. there's always this notion of having to stand up for yourself, but whumpee didn't even get the chance to. who should you be angry at? whumper? the system? yourself?

the fact that it happened is so terribly real and if paired with the conditioning of whumper & possible victim blaming, the shame eventually turns into this twisted form of denial, where whumpee is unable to confront the fact that they were hurt so bad and it just turns into oh my god i hate that it happened to me. i want to erase that it all happened. i wish i could live just one day forgetting it all and wake up thinking what was i so stressed about? i wish i could walk past whumper and think 'who were they again'? nobody should know about this because i cant deal with it myself and i don't know what i'll do if it all goes out

yk what im talking abt?

[justwonder113]

would you please do a reaction for when other members are being a little too close with their s/o baby bump cause they want to be the better uncle than the other members if that makes sense? like theyre trying to get the baby to recognise all their voices before its born. this would ne so cute ngl and then the member finds their s/o cuddled up with the other member having both fallen asleep on the sofa or some place like that. thanks a lot in advance!

This has to be one of the sweetest and unique asks I have ever gotten. Thank you so much for it!! I'm really terribly sorry it took me this long to write it and it's only Hyung line too. I was in really terrible headspace and I'm trying to get myself out there again. so I hope you understand. I will try to update Maknae line as fast as I can.

Warnings: There's not much to put here but if I missed any please let me know. The baby's gender is only specified in Changbin's. Just pure fluff

Masterlist

Maknae line here

Bang Chan

When you announced to the boys that you were pregnant it was safe to say that boys were over the moon. Hell, the restaurant you and Chan decided to invite boys to and annoynce the news almost banned you from how loud you were being. You were immediately showered with questions like how long you were due, when would the baby be born, if you knew the gender, everything! They were really excited to be uncles.

Ever since one could only imagine how protective they were of you. Chan and the boys did their best to support you in any way, you didn't even have to lift a finger now, everyone kept doting on you and the baby. You were also swarmed with countless questions about the baby, if you needed anything, if you craved anything, if you felt the baby kick and ect... Listening to them alone you already knew that your baby was going to be spoiled rotten. Even though you found it adorable hearing their plans and what great uncles they were going to be, you knew at some point you would have to to sit them down and talk about boundaries. Which was an impossible task! Because now as Innie talked to you (mostly your babybump) all cute and excited how much things he was going to teach the kid and how he was going to bring them with him to the coolest events ever and stuff. He even bought up an idea of maybe even convincing and possibly setting up a deal with Alexander McQueen for having your kid as the cutest model ever, Mind you the baby wasn't even born yet. As the baby of the group who was always babied and doted on he was the most excited having someone small around so he could be this cool reliable hyung to. You and Chan found it absolutely adorable how giddy he was. Heck you even made a promise to him, after convincing him to keep this a secret, much to his dismay and out of everyone's earshot, that he'd be the one to hold the baby first out of the boys once the baby was born.

Chan couldn't help but smile once you saw Innie who normally hated physical contact soundly asleep with his head on your shoulder, with you snuggling next to him all cutely. He couldn't help but to take a picture of you two, smiling, excited the most of all for the baby to be born.

Lee Know

Once you announced your pregnancy everyone was extatic. They all hugged and congratulated you, asked you hundreds of questions they were curious about. You really loved how excited they were for and you were more than happy to answer all their questions even the silliest ones. The evening was peaceful, everyone was here gathered at your house and you were spending lovely time, but everything changed when the fire nation attacked, meaning, someone, you really didn't catch who, but probably Jisung, asked if you had decided who was going to be the baby's godfather, and let's just say the hell broke loose after that, the kind not even the avatar could salvage. One second there was silence the next thing you knew was that everyone kept screaming and yelling at each other. You and Chan watched from afar, thankfully he was mature enought not to cause a scene, which couldn't have been said about your husband who was also yelling some incoherent stuff. Chan tried his best to solve the situation but at some point even he had to get involved in the fight to stop it. Everyone was yapping about god knows what at this point, you sat there on the coutch watching from the couch sipping your drink, praying that your neighbours wouldn't call the cops on you.

Jisung sat down next to you after a while all sad and pouty. The boys were yelling about something else now but you didn't really pay much attention to it. "It's not fair right! I'm Minho's and your closest friend, I should be the godfather right?" You couldn't help but huff out a laugh about Jisung's dramatic outburst. "Really Ji? The fact that I'm the one thirdwheeling whenever you're around my husband, which is a lot I might add, isn't enough for you and now you're coming for my baby too?" You couldn't help but raise your eyebrow at the audacity, Jisung looked taken aback but he quickly gathered himself and gave you the biggest smile ever. "Pretty please?" His eagerness was actually kind of endearing, you couldn't help but laugh. "I'll think about it little homewrecker." You were barely done with your sentence when Jisung basically quickly but also really carefully wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheek very eagerly. You stayed cuddled up like that for a while and chatted for a bit while everyone was at each other's throats. Jisung talked to your bump all excitedly that he couldn't wait to meet them and that he was going to be the coolest godfather ever. Next thing you knew he was asleep still cuddled next to you. How this boy managed to fall asleep in this absolute chaos was beyond you but it was cute. Your eyes met Minho's who only raised his eyebrow at you, intrigued on what went on while he was distracted, you gave him a wink in return. You lovingly stroked your bump, You really couldn't wait for the baby to be born.

Changbin

When you and Changbin announcede that you were pregnant to the boys they were beyond extatic. They were about to pounce on you and give you the biggest hug ever but thankfully Binnie and Chan stopped them in time and warned them to be careful with you. So instead all of them decided to basically jump on your poor binnie, who was on the floor in seconds with 7 bodies on top of him, and hopefully without a concussion.

After that everything went smoothly, the boys tried to be as supportive as ever and helped you in every way they could. Your sweet Husband was also an absolute Godsend. You didn't know what you would do without him. Even now he basically helped you with everything. You really wanted to have a gender reveal party and he really jumped out of his skin trying to make everything perfect. The boys also helped out a lot, all of them were really excited to hear the gender of the kid. Jisung even wanted to place a bet but Binnie quickly stopped him by softly whacking him on the head.

The party went perfectly, your sweet husband even made the impossible possible. It was just perfection. Also everyone was so excited when they heard that you were going to have a baby girl. Binnie even burst out crying while hearing the news. You really couldn't wait for your sweet angel to be born.

You were having time of your life when Hyunjin approached you with the sweetest idea ever. He said that he knew that you still hadn't set up a nursery for the baby and suggested that he could paint the room for you and even showed you some of the inspiration he got from the internet earlier. You couldn't help but tear up at how sweet he was being. It was really one of the cutest and meaningful presents ever. Also he was so cute cute talking about how he wanted to help you create the prettiest room for the baby girl, which would be as pretty as her. You and Binnie almost burst out crying, Binnie couldn't help himself and literally almost smothered the poor boy by giving him the tightest hug ever.

You really were so thankful. You spent almost whole evening talking about various designs and ideas. Even the baby must have been really excited because she kicked for the first time that evening. Binnie and you even joked that it must be a genetic thing being obsessed with Hyunjin. Hyunjin got even more excited after witnessing it, and for the whole evening he talked to your bump about the prettiest colours and designs he was going to use for her room so she could have as pretty room as the prettiest girl deserved. You and Binnie couldn't be more grateful to have sweet people like him around especially when others also chimed in and gave you their ideas too.

Hyunjin

When you first announced your pregnancy to Hyunjin poor boy almost fainted, but once the news set in, he was more than overjoyed. He was on top of the world and since day one he was set on for giving your baby the best life possible and to spoil them rotten. You couldn't help but find it endearing how he thought about making every moment special and memorable.

He even planned the most dramatic and over the top way to announce your pregnancy to the boys and family members. He made custom envelopes with custom shirts and letters, ordered the cake which had your due date written on it with see you on top of it, ordered the best drinks and food. Also ordered most beautiful flowers. He was so excited to announce the news he wanted everything to be really beautiful and elegant, maybe it was a little over the top but it was made with taste and what's important with lots of love.

Everyone was over the moon once they heard the news, all of them congratulated you and wished you all the happiness. Hyunjin was over the moon he looked so happy like this was his greatest achievement ever. You couldn't help but tear up everything was so beautiful about this day.

All of the boys were so excited to become uncles. They already started planning how many things they were going to teach your kid, how many cool places they were going to take them too, how they were going to dote on them and spoil them rotten. The baby wasn't due yet but you already knew they were going to be most spoiled and most loved baby ever.

Out of the boys Felix seemed to be the most over the moon, he was so excited to have the baby around, he could barely contain his excitement. Which showed because in next couple of days you had almost every piece of Louis Vuitton's baby line and he had so many more plans too! Imagine that and also countless many presents from the boys too, it was like there was no space left for you and Hyunjin in your own house from all the boxes and envelopes. Of course you and your husband were more than thankful. But felix was really outshining everyone with his gifts. He even sent you his baked goodies which on you happily chewed on. Baby must have really loved his baking and you were really satisfied too with the devine taste.

Hyunjin kept joking that how would it look if baby was covered head to toe in Louis Vuitton when he was Versace ambassador himself. Felix and Hyunjin even jokingly argued which designer brand was better. They even tried to bring you into the little argument. And now you had a little ongoing bet on which designer brand was going to be your baby's favorite. You couldn't help but smile as you eyed the boys who slept on each side of you soundlessly all smiley and cuddled up to you as if they weren't the ones jokingly arguing earlier. You were really grateful that your baby was going to be surrounded with all the love in the world.

[icarusredwings]

This post is dedicated to my wife. I see you, my love. And I can't be more than proud of you, my darling honeybee.

_________

Thinking about how Wade has to eat while doing something or else he just... can't.

Logan first noticed it about 4 days into moving in. That Wade will watch stuff on his phone or eat in the living room in front of the tv. There's no in-between.

One day, he makes dinner and sets the table, him and Al, sitting there, ready to eat, but Wade is hesitant. He sat down just fine but when it came to actually eating he just... stares.

He starts talking, rambling, ranting about anything. He even asks Logan to tell him a story about something, any war, anyone. "You ever meet anyone really cool? Like Elvis or something?"

"Not particularly." He mutters after swallowing.

He starts picking at his fingers in his lap. His foot is tapping, and he feels so guilty. He watches as Al finishes her plate, talking about how delicious it was and thanks him.

And Wade thinks so. The food is simple. It doesn't smell bad either. So why can't he just eat it? It's not like it was bad. Logan wouldn't feed him expired food or make him bad stuff on purpose.

'It's just pasta. Come on, you love pasta' he tries to tell himself but cant seem to actually put any food in his mouth.

Every time he tries, he ends up just putting it back down.

Eventually, there are tears in his eyes.

"Wade..? What's wrong?"

He shakes his head, smiling that bullshit grin he gives when he doesn't know how to explain the fact that his brain was screaming at him that he didnt deserve the food, trying to conviece him that it was rotten, convience him that he was being poisoned or that if he ate this something bad would happen.

But now he's between a rock and a hard place because if he doesn't eat Logan will think he hates his cooking and will leave. He'll move out.

And what if he takes puppins with him? What if he thinks hes a bad dog dad because obviously if he cant feed himself how will he take care of puppins? What if he-

"Wade!"

He jumps a bit, looking at him with big watery eyes.

Something in Logan's concerned face makes him feel worse. ".. y-yeah?"

There's silence.

Logan then sighs, his shoulders falling, scooting over with his plate as he sits next to him.

"... Have I ever told you about the time I accidently blew myself up and Rodgers laughed at me?"

He shakes his head, staring at him. "S-stevie laughed at you?"

Logan nods, beginning to tell the story.

And just like that?

Wade's fork finally reaches his mouth, sometimes glancing down at his plate, but mainly keeping his attention on Logan, smiling and interjecting at times.

He needed distraction.

From the meanies in his head that much preferred the words of a story or tv show then to be alone in the quiet.

"Wait wait wait-" he says, his plate already half cleared, about to shove some more in his mouth. "You sniffed it out and STILL stepped on it??"

"Heh.. yeh.. well. That's what happens when your stuck in a trench."

"Did it stink in there?" Another bite.

"It was terrible. That's why I couldn't smell the mines." He jokes, smirking as Wade laughs, covering his mouth.

Going to stab another piece he realizes that its gone. With another guilty look, he glances to the plate then to the stove, and Logan last.

"Is... is there more?"

Logan knew better then to question him. He had to do something similar with Kurt, talking him through his first few full meals. He didnt believed someone like him deserved fancy mansion food.. well.... Logan didn't either that first week. But Chuck was there.

And now Logan was there for Wade.

Funny how that came full circle..

"Yeah." He gets up, bringing him the entire pot, pouring another helping onto his plate, Watching as Wade shoveled some more in his mouth with a grin.

"So- Mmh- Pars uh yu jus' wen evrwhre??"

Logan smiles, now its his turn to laugh. "Not quite. But sure as hell felt like it."

_______

And this is for any of my fellow people whos brains are mean to them. You are loved. There is nothing wrong with you. I want you fed. I dont care what it is, Fed is better than nothing. So if that means you will survive off of nuggets and a show about lego monkeys? Then so be it. Im so proud of all of you. And I will never ever judge you for your process. Do you know why?

Because you have survived evert hard day that life has ever thrown at you.

WOOWW!! Look at you!! You bad ass! God damn you are so strong!! Look at you go! I love you.

And keep pushing my little ducklings. Keep swimming.

[audioroleplayconfessions]

i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).

i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.

i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).

whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.

ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)

i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.

anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.

(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )

.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"Wow, Lily!" Remus exclaimed as soon as he saw her "You look lovely..." she smiled "I didn't know this was formal, otherwise I would have worn something else" he added, looking at himself.

Lily Evans looked beautiful today. She was a pretty girl on daily basis. But today she was radiant. She had made the effort of picking up a nice dress and she had put on makeup with bit of glitter on her eyes, and she had straightened her hair. Instead of lose curls, her locks were perfectly combed.

"Thanks" Lily blushed.

That made Remus even more nervous. He had been trying to convince himself that this was just a hang out between friends. But everything just indicated otherwise.

"Look, I'm wearing the necklace you gave me"

Remus had to admit it suited her.

"Oh! Nice!"

Bloody James Potter. Ever since the incident with the necklace on Lily's birthday, the girl had been acting odd. Remus had lied and said that the necklace he gave her was his mum's when it was James who bought it for her.

"Moony," James had begged with puppy eyes "Lily is not accepting it coming from me. But she's gonna love it coming from you! She hates me but she likes you well enough"

If James wanted to conquer Lily, he was doing a terrible job by giving Remus all the credit.

"Are you sure you don't want it back?" Lily asked unsure. "It was your mum's after all"

Remus regretted this so badly. But he had promised James that he wasn't going to say anything.

"Noo! Noo!" he exclaimed "Keep it, honestly! It looks better on you"

Remus wished Lily wouldn't be looking at him like that when she should be looking at James. He purchased the expensive jewel after all.

"You look nice as well, Remus"

Were Lily's eyes sparkling?

"With this old sweater?" he pointed to himself.

"It suits you. It is nice" Lily smiled, putting a lock of hair behind her ear.

Remus liked Lily Evans because she was cool, funny and different than any girl that had made his life impossible in the past. It was easy between them. They didn't have awkward moments. They were genuine around each other.

So, why was Lily acting weird? God no, please no. Remus had only accepted this as friends. Lily couldn't fancy him. James would kill him.

"So..." Remus cleared his throat, as if he could break the awkwardness between them "What's the plan?"

"I was thinking we can go to the cinema in the castle!" Lily exclaimed "Sometimes they play good movies"

Watch a movie in silence. Good. Remus could do that.

"Sounds great"

Lily giggled "Cool"

"Lead the way..."

Friends watched movies together, right? Lily probably wanted to hang out with Remus because she didn't have anything better to do. Right?

The walk to the cinema room was painfully weird. There was silence between them. Remus was used to Lily speaking bollocks that made him laugh. Now, she was eyeing him every two seconds and smiling to herself.

"Never been to the Hogwarts cinema before"

"Oh, me neither" Lily confessed "Severus didn't like it..." she swallowed as if mentioning him hurt her. Remus knew that twat had been her only friend but they didn't speak to each other anymore. Remus didn't know why.

"And I didn't want to go by myself..." Lily continued "I heard they only play old movies anyway but some are good..." she looked at him "Good thing I have you now to go"

Remus faked a giggle "It is odd to go to a school that has its own cinema" he said "It would be a nice experience"

"Yeah I guess" Lily let out a soft chuckle.

"What are you in the mood to watch?" Remus asked.

"Ha?" Lily blinked in surprise.

"What kind of movie?" Remus clarified.

"Oh" Lily sighed "Maybe a romance"

Oh fuck...

This wasn't a date. This wasn't a date. This wasn't a date.

Although it looked like a date when they arrived to the place. The movie for today was good: Ten things I hate about you. But nobody inside cared about the movie per se. There were only couples snogging.

Not only Remus got uncomfortable but Lily as well, as they looked at each other and blushed.

They already bought the tickets. Too late to ran away.

"Do you... Want to sit over there?" Lily pointed to an empty corner.

"Sure"

Lily led him to one of the front rows to the right side. The movie hadn't started yet. So they heard the kissing noises, sighs and giggles around them. Remus was too disgusted and nervous to eat but he stuffed popcorn to his mouth to have something to do.

"Have you watched this movie?" Lily asked to break the silence.

"Yeah it is really good" he answered "Have you watched it?"

"It is one of my favorites" Lily smiled.

And when she scooped closer, Remus moved away.

This was a bad idea. A terrible one.

"Shame nobody is paying attention" Lily looked around. Then she moved closer to Remus.

"Stupid people" Remus chuckled, moving further and further away from Lily "What's the point of coming to a theatre to snog? They can do that anywhere"

Lily looked at him curiously. "True" she nodded, then sighed "It must be nice, though, to snog someone..."

Shit, shit, shit....

"I mean obviously, not here!" Lily clarified going red as a tomato "Or now! But like... Like snog someone that you really really fancy... You know like after the movie and when the bloke walks you to your house, or your dorm in this case...."

As Lily spoke, Remus imagined the scene in his mind. It used to be amusing to hear her talk before but Remus didn't know what to do when Lily was flirting with him... Potentially!

"And then you and him are both so happy and at ease that everything seems perfect... And the bloke just kisses you right before you say goodbye... And he thinks about you all night long and you think about him as well..."

Bam! Remus felt the pain on his butt as he fell to the floor. He had been unconsciously moving away from Lily so quickly that he fell from the seat.

"Oh! Are you okay, Remus?" Lily asked.

Remus groaned in pain, maybe he could pretend to be so hurt that he could cancel the whole thing.

"Yeah... Yeah" he said as he stood up and got back into his seat "I'm delightful"

Remus wished he didn't feel sorry for leaving Lily alone. She was laughing now.

"You are different than other boys I know, you know?" she smiled as she ate some popcorn "Sweet and adorable"

Why couldn't Remus be a prick so Lily could stop imagining nonsense?

Before Remus could respond, the movie began and Remus was thankful. Maybe he could ignore her until the movie was over and by that time he would have figured a gentle way to reject her. Or maybe tell her the truth about the necklace and let bloody James deal with the consequences.

Although everyone was distracted by an annoying and loud feminine laughter that entered the room. Remus heard a few "Sh sh". And when he turned to see who this annoying girl was, Remus was surprised to see Alecto Carrow. This was the girl Sirius had been snogging for the last couple of weeks. Remus knew this because watching them provoked an indescribable pain on his chest and a horrible rage that made him want to pull that girl's long black hair.

And fuck his luck because today she was entering the bloody cinema with none other that Sirius Black himself.

Remus sunk on his chair and he noticed Lily getting very very pale, trying to cover her face as well.

Remus hadn't told Sirius or any of the Marauders about his plans with Lily this evening. He had heard James saying the team was going to have an extra practice. And Remus assumed Sirius would follow him.

Remus couldn't say no when Lily asked him to "hang" early this week. But the counting days to the present, Remus had been divided in between canceling Lily and disappointing her or convincing himself Lily just wanted to do something as friends and only that.

Now Sirius was the last person that should find him in this predicament.

And thanks to Remus's shitty luck, he and his stupid girl sat in the row in front of them.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" Remus heard Sirius asking her in a low voice.

Thank God he hadn't noticed them. Maybe it was the fact that Remus and Lily were both very sunk on their chairs and practically covering their faces with the popcorn bag and soda respectively.

"No, darling" Alecto shook her head "I don't eat that garbage"

"Good thing" Sirius smirked "You're sweet and tasteful enough"

His comment provoked a loud laugh from his companion that made everyone shush her again. Although Remus saw Sirius rolling his eyes when she didn't notice. Was he getting bored of her already?

"Remus..." Lily leaned to whisper, he face covered by her large soda "Did you tell... him... about..."

"No!" Remus whispered back before Lily said 'our date'.

"Maybe we should go somewhere else" Lily whispered and Remus saw her very red and worried "Black is gonna ruin everything"

Remus couldn't agree more. Even though he wanted this date or whatever it was ruined. He didn't want Sirius to see him.

"I've seen this movie plenty of times already" he commented.

"Me too" she whispered back.

They nodded in agreement. They had to get out of here. It was sickening anyway the way Sirius was trying to put his arm around the girl, how they were smiling at each other and possibly leaning in to snog...

But as Remus was moving, he tripped (his stupid luck again), and all the popcorn fell on top of Alecto's head. She screamed, making everyone look their way.

Sirius turned furiously "Hey, wanker! Watch..." he stopped when he recognized him, his eyes widened "Moony?"

Remus was frozen. Then Sirius’s eyes moved towards Lily who was trying her best to cover her face.

"Evans?" Sirius asked. Then looked suspiciously between the two.

Alecto was watching them curiously.

Lily faked a smile but her face was as red as her hair or even more.

"What a coincidence, ha?"

It was Lily who was shushed this time.

*****

“What I do in my free time is none of your business, Black! And I shouldn’t give you explanations of what I do or don’t do!”

It was after the incident that they had been kicked out of the room. The four of them. They didn’t seem to care much, expect for Alecto maybe. But Sirius had bombarded Remus and Lily with questions. And Lily was the one who had the courage to answer.

“Is it wrong to go out with Remus?” Lily continued “He is not only your friend, you know? You don’t own him! And he is free to do whatever he wants!”

In the meantime, Sirius couldn’t move his eyes away from Remus. And Remus had his eyes fixed on the floor.

“It’s okay, sweety!” Alecto exclaimed “Nobody cares that you’re on a date with him”

“We’re not in a date!” Remus and Lily protested at the same time. He looked at her in surprise, and she looked away as she blushed.

“I think you make a pretty good couple” Alecto continued, ignoring them.

“We’re not a couple” Lily got even more red “And if we were, I wouldn’t tell you, It is none of your business”

It was then that Sirius started laughing. Remus knew this was more of a Sirius’s reaction. Everything was amusing to him. He wanted the world to entertain him. The bastard.

“What’s so funny, Sirius?”

“Prongs is gonna love this!” Oh shit “Did you bring Evans here to snog her behind his back?”

For a second Remus wished that Sirius was jealous of the whole thing, but he was just taking the piss.

“Oh, that’s right” Alecto nodded amused “Potter used to have a crush on you, right Lily?”

Why did Sirius had to go out with the most stupid girls?

“We came here as friends!” Remus said. He side glanced at Lily. She was looking down with embarrassment.

“You know that bringing someone to the Hogwarts Cinema is for a good snog, right?” Sirius smirked, looking between the two.

That explained all the couples from before.

Alecto gasped “Is that why you brought me here?”

“Well, I did want to snog you” Sirius confessed, just like that. Remus rolled his eyes.

Lily, on the other hand, was red as a tomato and looked very embarrassed.

“I didn’t know, Sirius” Remus sighed with exasperation “I’ve never been”

Remus didn’t know that with that comment, Sirius and Alecto’s eyes would turn to Lily.

“Wow, Evans” Sirius spat “Trying to get advantage of my Moony?”

“Lily!” Alecto exclaimed, with that annoying laughter of hers “I admire your courage. Asking a boy out and insinuating a snog must be challenging…”

God, there were making her look like a…like a… Remus couldn’t say it.

“You’re gonna break Prongs’s heart” Sirius added “I hope you don’t do the same with Moony”

“Going for all the friend group, ha?” Alecto teased, then grabbed Sirius’s arm “Well Sirius is out of the market, darling”

Remus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He turned to look at Lily who had her eyes filled with tears. When she noticed Remus was looking at her, she looked so embarrassed that she ran away as fast as she could.

“Lily!” Remus called for her, but she ran fast.

“Oops” Alecto said “Did we say something wrong?”

Remus was furious. He might’ve not like Lily that way, but he cared for her.

“You can be a complete, arsehole sometimes, Sirius!” Remus snapped. Only to Sirius. He didn’t care about the fake of Alecto. “I don’t recognize you when you behave like this”

Sirius seemed uncomfortable “Moony, it was a joke…”

“Fuck off!”

“You are the one having a date with Evans!” Sirius snapped, but Remus ignored him.

Remus got out of there before Sirius could say anything else. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how much Sirius had grown. Sometimes he was far from what that sweet ten-year-old boy used to be. Sometimes Remus couldn’t believe he fancied him still.

Sirius wasn’t like this. Not really. He just liked to behave like an idiot sometimes.

Remus found Lily crying in the main patio. His heart broke when he saw her vulnerable like that. People used to make fun of him a lot back at his old school. Lily reminded him of his own self. Pre transition Remus lost and scared because he didn’t want to be different.

Remus took a seat in the bench next to her without saying a word. Lily stopped crying but sniffed a few times.

“I swear I didn’t know that the cinema was a place to snog, Remus!” Lily said with a desperate voice “Like I said, I’ve never been! Now I never want to go back” she shook her head “What? People just don’t fancy watching a movie these days? Bloody hell!!”

Remus found himself smiling.

“It’s okay” he said “It is not your fault. People are just stupid to prefer a snog than a good movie or worse a good book”

“Right?” Lily snorted “What do they have in their brains? Mud?”

Remus shrugged.

“A good book doesn’t break your heart” Lily said, sounding more like the girl he knew.

“Or give you herpes”

“Or make your lips swollen”

“Or pass you their saliva”

“Eeew!”

Remus giggled and Lily followed. Suddenly things were going back to normal.

“Remus, can I ask you something?”

Remus looked at her. “Of course, Lils”

“And can you be honest?”

Remus nodded, and placed a hand on his heart “I solemnly swear”

“Do you…” Lily swallowed “Do you like me?”

"Of course!” There was no doubt.

“No but, like like me…”

“Oh” God, not this again. Remus didn’t want to break her heart or lose her. She was a golden friend. One of the few people that understood what it felt to feel like an alien in this school.

“You’re a lovely girl, Lily…” he started “But…”

Lily let out a breath of relief.

“It’s okay if you don’t” Lily explained “It’s just that after my birthday…” she unconsciously grabbed the necklace on her neck “Mary and Marlene had been filling my head about how you must fancy me, because a boy doesn’t give necklaces like this to a friend, besides, it is your mum’s…”

Well, the necklace was from the boy that fancied her, but it wasn’t Remus.

“Oh Lils,,,” Remus was finding the right words to say.

“I just wanted to believe that idea…” Lily said, blushing again “I thought how we got along so well, and I just felt comfortable around you… And I filled my head with this story of a nice romance between us… That’s why I asked you on this date…”

So, it was a date!

“But it was so uncomfortable, wasn’t it?”

“It’s because we are not meant to be more than really good friends, Lily” Remus said with a smile “I’m not the bloke for you”

That was James. She didn’t know that yet.

Lily let out a soft chuckle.

“It was an awful date, anyway” Remus added.

Lily gasped “Remus!”

They both laughed now, more comfortable than all had been clear.

“I gave you the necklace because I like you” Remus thought he ought to cover for James still “Maybe not like that. But I do like you” he added “I swear that I’ve never gotten along with a girl before. And it feels pretty great….”

Lily nodded “Hence my confusion”

“It is easy with you. We can talk about anything. And we like the same books. And we like to complain about my dumb friends…”

“Your friends are really really dumb” Lily giggled.

Remus thought about James. He thought about Sirius’s comments, did he have to be an idiot?

“Sorry about Sirius” he said “I know you think he is a twat but sometimes he says mean things because he feels attacked or doesn’t like something”

Lily shook her head “So, he was jealous of us?”

“Ha?” Remus wished his cheeks weren’t on fire.

“Potentially if we were dating” Lily concluded “He wouldn’t like it, I bet”

“Why?”

“Because Potter would feel like I am a lost game and Black wouldn’t like that, right?”

For a second Remus had hope that Sirius was jealous because he fancied him back. But Lily was right.

“And maybe Potter would finally leave me alone” Lily bit her lip “Remus, would you date me?”

Remus grinned “As much as I would like to help you…” he said “I appreciate my integrity, and James would kill me if I were to date you”

Lily scoffed “He doesn’t own me!” then grabbed his arm “I can date any boy I fancy”

“But you don’t fancy me, yeah?”

Lily shook her head carefully “Bloody hell, no. Don’t get angry, Remus"

Remus faked a gasp “You just broke my heart, Lily Evans”

Lily smiled “You rejected me first!”

She hit his arm gently and then she giggled which made Remus smile. He was so glad Lily and him were okay. That nothing had changed between them.

“Bloody Mary and Marlene” Lily tutted “I’m glad we sorted this inquiry”

Remus was glad as well “Yeah me too”

Lily was still grabbing his arm, but Remus didn’t care. This was how it was supposed to be. Just good friends. Comfortable around each other.

Then he added “Hungry?” he asked “Want to go grab something to eat?”

“Yeah, please!” Lily exclaimed “It’s a date”

Remus raised an eyebrow.

Remus faked a gasp “You just broke my heart, Lily Evans”

Lily smiled “You rejected me first!”

She hit his arm gently and then she giggled which made Remus smile. He was so glad Lily and him were okay. That nothing had changed between them.

“Bloody Mary and Marlene” Lily tutted “I’m glad we sorted this inquiry”

Remus was glad as well “Yeah me too”

Lily was still grabbing his arm, but Remus didn’t care. This was how it was supposed to be. Just good friends. Comfortable around each other.

Then he added “Hungry?” he asked “Want to go grab something to eat?”

“Yeah, please!” Lily exclaimed “It’s a date”

Remus raised an eyebrow.

[maxknightley]

hey man listen, im sure you just didnt know because hes just a funny haha tweets guy but dril is literally an outspoken nazi on twitter and has made mulitple tweets with nazi dogwhistles and literally responded to someone going "its not a joke, i fucking hate jews". like theres screenshots and posts and stuff about it out there and im sure you could dig through his twit. none of my posts about this ever get picked up because no one wants to admit the internet funnyman is a bad guy but hes like. a literal actual nazi. take that as you will

disclaimer for my followers: do not start shit with this person. I swear to fucking god. be cool.

not to be rude but I looked this up:

on twitter's website, where I found nothing;

on twitter's mobile app, where I also found nothing;

on DuckDuckGo, where I found nothing except the "(((keebler elves)))" tweet, which I think you could reasonably argue was in poor taste but hardly seems like a sincere endorsement of fascist beliefs;

and on Google, where I again found nothing except the "(((keebler elves)))" tweet and people talking about the keebler elves tweet

so, like, with all due respect I think you're either misremembering something / conflating him with someone else, or someone is fucking with you. I'm genuinely not sure what else this could be referring to, other than his recent slew of tweets mocking the nation-state of Israel, which - speaking as an antizionist Jew - I think are good and funny

the main reason I'm posting a response to this ask at all is because I get asks like this a lot. like, every couple months at this point. but usually they're not about dril, who 1. barely uses this website and barely ever has, and 2. has bigger things to worry about! usually they're about Some Trans Woman who I may never have even fucking heard of. I've gotten asks calling latina trans women "white" and accusing them of being turbo-racist because they Disagreed With Someone One Time. I've gotten asks trying to convince me that a woman I've never spoken to is a sexual predator based on literally zero evidence of any kind. and it gets fucking tiresome. okay? it's really, really fucking tiresome

so I figure I'll post this one because it's illustrative, and because it won't stir up shit around someone who might actually get hurt by it. please stop doing this. please stop sending me completely unsupported asks about how such-and-such is a terrible person.

at the bare fucking minimum send me actual concrete Posts that I can look at, because then I can actually judge for myself whether it's something worth getting upset about. otherwise there's basically a 10% chance I look into it, find nothing tangible, and shrug, and a 90% chance it goes straight into the trash.

[deedala]

✨🎂 weekly tag wednesday 🎂✨

Today we're talking about birthdays! BECAUSE ITS @energievie's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVIE!!! <<33333 and thanks for writing this weeks game and for tagging me 💖💖💖

When is yours? November 17th

Where were you born? the mythical land of ohio

How do you feel about your legal name? Are you using it online and/or IRL? the one i was born with got spirited away by a c list actress lmao but my married name is cool and i am happy with it!

How about your sign? Do you feel it "fits"? i really really do. but in the actual way that scorpios are, not the super reductive meme-ified "scorpios are angry and mean" way.

What's your earliest memory related to your birthday? oh this is tough... i can't be sure but it might be that when i was really little (maybe 6 or 7?) i had a birthday party in the party room at mcdonalds and i remember little flashes of that here and there but the main thing i remember is one friend giving me a framed poster of a very lovely watercolor painting of a unicorn mama and baby and my parents put that on my wall and it stayed there for my entire life. now i have it on the wall in my daughters room (she also loves it!)

What's one of the best gifts you've ever received? oh shit, i guess maybe that unicorn poster lmao

How about one of the best you've given yourself? oh my god im actually terrible at gift giving. its one of the things i hate the most about myself. like any other circumstance i know what my friends and family like and will get them things when i see them. but when its time to come up with a gift i just completely blank 😫 so yeah i dunno, no thoughts head empty lmao (omg i misunderstood this question and put myself on blast for no reason 🤣)

What's your favourite cake flavour? yellow cake! yummmm

How about your favourite flowers? i love poppies and i love dandelions and i love ranunculus roses!

Have your ever thrown a birthday party? If yes, tell us about your favourite one. oh yes plenty! my house sucks though so im gonna tell you about how for my son's 10th birthday (double digits is a special occasion right?) we rented out a gymnasium that had a bunch of fun equipment and gymnastics coaches who helped the kids play on it. the kids all had so much fun it was delightful.

What's the ultimate birthday song? uuhhhmmm the one from futurama?

And last but not least, pick a celebrity with whom you share your birthday. okay theres a few good ones but my fav is DANNY DEVITO!!!! (we're both short and italian and that is so valid of us)

and now to tag some little birthday nuggets!! play if you wanna or just consider this a little birthday candle for you to blow out and make a wish on 🔥💖

OKAY ALSO UNICORN POSTER UNDER THE CUT TOO 😆

@michellemisfit @mybrainismelted @suzy-queued @gallapiech @lingy910y @catgrassplantdad @spookygingerr @mmmichyyy @thepupperino @too-schoolforcool @darlingian @celestialmickey @sleepyfacetoughguy @sleepyheadgallavich @jrooc @blue-disco-lights @crossmydna @wehangout @gardenerian @gallawitchxx @heymrspatel @palepinkgoat @the-rat-wins @sam-loves-seb @friend-bear @creepkinginc @softmick @callivich @loftec @burninface @rereadanon @vintagelacerosette @sickness-health-all-that-shit @whatwouldmickeydo @spoonfulstar @captainjowl @howlinchickhowl @iansw0rld @y0itsbri @transmickey @themarchg1rl @salesmain @marianchurchland

[owlwithascarf]

it has been a while since i saw something that catched me eye

[svnflower-writes]

Hey, if you are up to it can you write something with Nikolai Lantsov, where the main character is his first army general. and Maybe in a battle the mc got hurt very badly, And Nikolai is fully heart broken and panicked But still trying to play it cool so no one would realise he has feelings for her. So he goes to meet her late at night in her tent, just to check in, and you know make it a little hurt comfort fluff, or maybe add some angst, Up to you. I just need inspiration for a new before bed scenario/daydream

Nikolai Lantsov x fem!first army general!reader

Warnings: blood, injuries

thanks for the request!!

ok wait i’ve never written for the grishaverse so this may be terrible but we’ll see (also i wasn’t sure if you wanted him to be with the mc already or not but i made it an established relationship i hope that's okay xx) (I actually kind of hate this one ngl not my best work i'm so sorry but i hope its okay)

y/n isn’t used because i know a lot of people don’t like it, she/her pronouns used for reader

hurt/comfort + reader uses humour as a crutch A LOT + nikolai is very scared of being a disappointment :( 

Many of Nikolai’s army generals have been hurt, and it always upsets him. But right now? It’s taking every ounce of self control not to go find you and hold you in his arms—but that would be weird on many different levels, partly because no one in the first army—or the world, at that—knew anything about what was going on between the two of you. It was only the early stages of your relationship, you’d been officially dating for a month. Although Nikolai wanted to tell people, you did not out of fear that your fellow members of the first army would see you differently—and Nikolai was a respectful man, he would never push you into anything you weren’t ready for.

So, when he heard the news that you were hurt, he had only just managed to keep himself from asking an obscene amount of questions as to where you were and how long ago the injuries had taken place, keeping it to a simple: “please make sure she gets her injuries treated to as soon as possible.” 

Two hours after he had received the news, he sat in his tent, trying his hardest to get at least a little bit of sleep but failing miserably as he kept tossing and turning wondering if you were okay. He almost felt stupid, being so worried about you (he knew you were strong and you would get through this perfectly, and he had complete faith in you) but he really couldn’t help it. After another half an hour, he realised that he wasn’t going to get any sleep unless he knew you were okay. So, in the earliest hours of the morning, before the sun had even begun to bathe the army camp in warm light, he pulled himself out of bed. He hurriedly got changed and began his walk to your tent. 

He arrived at your tent and quietly asked, “it’s Nikolai, can I come in?”

There was a short moment of silence before you responded, “yeah, of course. Was wondering when you’d show up.”

Once he was inside the tent, he looked around. His eyes seemed to soften at the sight of you alive and well, and a small smile graced his lips. “I’m kind of surprised you’re still up, darling. You should be sleeping so that you heal faster.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “and yet, here you are. In my tent, keeping me awake.”

He grinned slightly, “just had to make sure you were okay.”

“Hmm, so you do this for every general who gets hurt? That must take you a lot of time—very thoughtful of you.” your teasing smirk made his heart leap slightly.

“Well, you are very hurt, sweetheart.” 

“Oh, speaking of me being very hurt, could you pass me that fresh bandage? And the tray next to it?”

He instantly grabbed the bandage and tray, “are you okay?” 

You nodded quickly, “yeah, some of the stitches broke just before you came in—I don’t want to wake up anyone so I figured I’d just do it myself.” 

Nikolai frowned, “absolutely not.”

You sighed, “you’re not letting me fix the stitches? Do you want me to bleed out?”

“I just don’t want you to have to do it yourself, you deserve to have someone tending to your wounds.”

You scoffed lightly, a playful grin painting your features. “So are you going to tend to my wounds, your highness?” 

“Yes.” 

You blinked quickly, doing a double take. “What?” 

He smirked, “I said yes.” 

“I thought you’d just get someone-”

“Absolutely not.” he repeated his earlier words, “I’m going to help my girlfriend heal as soon as you possibly can, and I will do whatever I can to help you.”

As he took care of your stitches, the two of you sat in a comfortable silence until he spoke up. 

“I was terrified when I heard that you were hurt.” 

You watched his face carefully as he continued to speak. 

“Couldn’t even sleep, I was so worried.” 

You gently took his hand in yours, pressing a soft kiss to it before laughing gently, “well, if you think you were scared, imagine how I must have felt.” 

Nikolai didn’t laugh with you, “that’s exactly what I was thinking. You were hurt and I wasn’t there for you when you got hurt and I should have been there and–” 

You shut him up with a quick kiss, “no, don’t say that. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. You couldn’t have known.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Now focus on making sure I don’t bleed out, and then we can cuddle.”

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Allura

Lots of people (myself included tbh) ship klance (Keith and Lance). In s8 the creators made Allura/Lance canon (but then they killed her off and left the ending ambiguous it was weird). Anyway the fandom treats her like she's the most terrible bitchy woman ever but all she wants to do is end the war and avenge her destroyed home planet. Yeah she wasn't always the nicest or always the best, but you could argue some other characters in the show aren't either and they aren't treated near as bad as allura. people really just hate her bc Lance liked her. I don't think allura/lance are good together, but I still liked her as a character and thought she was interesting and had a lot of growth during the show. she DEF is not evil like some people portray her as in fic or talk about her in captions on posts. I've seen people say that they HATE her and that she's the worst and I'm like ??? let her live (well sort of ig she is dead now). lots of fic writers use her as the villain which is so interesting to me bc the show literally has villains like use them. anyway allura so perfectly fits the bracket description she deserves better.

I hate to acknowledge my time in this fandom but I hate the way the fandom treated her more. Allura was treated like shit no matter what side of the Great Ship War you were on because she was always a threat to the biggest ships (klance and sheith). At best she got put into Background Lesbian or Consolation Prize Shallura (Space Mom-zoned) (She was not a motherly figure btw. She was just Black). At worst she was violently demonized for being ~racist~ (kinda not cool with the alien race that blew up her planet for a few episodes), complete with misogynistic language hurled at her (she got called a bitch sooo much). Allura was a good and cool character and the show did her dirty but the fandom was somehow worse.

i apologise for speaking the dark magicks, but amidst the voltron fandoms many, many transgressions, there were a particular subset of people who just hated this girl. the infamous klance wars of the 2010s kept this perfectly fine childrens cartoon character in the sights of shippers everywhere, and she (and her voice actress im sure) were subjected to years of petty squabble blown up to global perportions. ive seen hate, ive seen rants, ive seen fanfics that made her homophobic. girls been through the ringer, and even though voltron was never the show its fandom wanted it to be, i believe allura deserved better

Every Supernatural Woman

Supernatural is so mean to women and committed to queerbaiting but it still gives Sam and Dean lovers to kill. The writers kill and villainize them and the fans get the few that remain

wincest and destiel shippers cannot handle the idea of their blorbos having a Woman THREATENING their SHIPS god FORBID

It literally used to be a running joke that if a female character got introduced you knew she was going to die soon because fans would react so negatively to her "stealing" one of the boys away from the big ship, whether it be destiel or wincest

[midwestemoismid]

Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,

<autism rant>

Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.

i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw

well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that

i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏

this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession

and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.

I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it

as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.

I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well

"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.

I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.

Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol

This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright

If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over

[preciadosbass]

5/8/24

woke up at 9:30. when i wake up naturally early i always say good morning to boris so i did that and then decided that i’m not exhausted to the point i should go back to sleep. i just doomscrolled the entire morning and saved a few max green edits along the way. i looked through a few pin sharing urbex groups on facebook and saved a couple videos to my watch later on youtube. its a pain there’s not actually much around where i live, like, that’s why i cant go out on my own. as much as woods are beautiful and nice to be around/at there’s not any shops or town in walking distance.

the next time my family go on a road trip hopefully i’ll be able to explore a few places then. there was an abandoned housing estate about 40 minutes from where i live but apparently it’s being demolished soon, plus i’m not allowed to go there anymore. as for any of the other stuff close-ish, it’s not really anything you can explore. however, i did find an abandoned plane graveyard online and it turned out it was decently close by to me. when i went they didn’t even let me take photos but they did email saying someone could tour me and show me the planes if i arrange a date which is exciting. although i’ll most likely have to wait until october so the plants around it die down.

when it got to about 10/11am my dad came down so i said goodmorning to him and had breakfast as he made me it and i’d feel bad not to. luckily i’ve found breakfast option which has a lot less cals than that bagel so i feel a little, tiny bit more relaxed about having food in the mornings. at 1 i went outside with boris and cuddled him on the driveway. he seems a lot more energetic today. i was sitting on the sleepers across from the front door with my feet outstretched and he layed down leaning against my leg/shoes it was so cute i just had to record it. while i was outside i also fixed the lighting of a picture of jaime and changed my layout and things on all my socials.

i also followed lots of cool people in hopes of become their mutual or something. i stayed out there until 2:20. when i got back inside asked my mum about that list of things on depop that i want to buy and she sent offers on all of the uk items for me. with the rest, i just had to wait until people got back to me about shipping. since yesterday i added one more item to my wishlist, a frank iero tattoo poster from an old magazine, i sent an order regarding this aswell. my mum was getting frustrated and didn’t really understand why i wanted the stuff that i did. but she did see my point about buying the funko pops second hand from depop rather than the official website.

i think i had a nap and woke up at approximately 4/half five but i’m not too sure about times. i saw an informative video about taxidermy and how to tell if things are ethical or not and remembered i was texted a mutual and they kept asking for advice regarding stuff like that, so i sent it to them. at around 5 my hairdresser came round so i got dressed for once [i hate departing from my onesie don’t judge me 🤫] and had my ends touched up. having my hair cut is always kind of awkward for me because i have to stop myself from asking to get it cut short. my parents are fine with it, im just terrible with change. but i have been wanting it short for 4+ years now. its just scary that once it’s done, if i don’t like it, there’s pretty much nothing anyone can do. i’m fine with dye.

before she was about to leave i found out that she’s going to be looking after boris when me and my family go to butlins. she’s really nice and talked me through everything/asked me to text her if i have anything particular i want her to do but i’m scared about leaving him. i think i have a few weeks until we go. i feel guilty saying this, but i am excited, i think. i haven’t been away with my whole family before. that dosent take away the worry though. once my parents had payed and she’d driven off i went outside with boris again.

i was out there up until 7:20 when i went back into my room and put on coraline. i finally found the dvd after looking everytime i watch something for weeks. i’ve watched it so many times i know everything that happens so while i was listening to it i wrote this before i’d forget everything about my day. my phone was blowing up at the same time because some rando keeps submitting anonymous messages harassing me over making music my personality loll — anyways, i watched up until the scene where the other mother gives coraline the box with the buttons in it until i went on a walk with my mum.

we left at almost exactly 9 and went to that same field i’ve spoken about before where you can see london in the distance. the person who owns it must’ve just mowed everywhere so we were just walking on really thick piles of dead grass so it was 10x more tiring. it left like i was walking through snow. obviously it was even more tricky because we walked down and then up the really steep hills. we got home at 10ish and was out for at least 40 or 50 minutes.

when we got back my mum handed me an envelope. i immediately knew what it was; since i’ve been young [7] i’ve had this youth thingy send me and my sister arts and crafts stuff related to the stuff going on at the time. i took it into my room i continued listening to coraline while i made a collage out of the zoos map from yesterday. i opened the envelope once id glued in half of the stuff i wanted to and used this wooden flower from it. i finished it at 11, and i cant tell if i despise it with every fibre of my being or if it’s tolerable. ive never made a collage with so much untouched and plain space [photo at the end]

coraline conveniently finished when i’d completed the collage so i went out to the kitchen to see boris. my mum started arguing with me about how the questions don’t affect me at all and they only have a negative affect on her and my dad when i asked when i should come up. i’m gunna admit, this kinda hit really hard because nobody knows how much it truly affects me and i’m too far gone to even be able to speak about it/write about it. because if i do then it’ll make something bad happen. but i do appreciate that it’s really draining for them too. i just cant stop.

boris went into the living room so i sat out there while finishing the rest of that mcr 2011 concert and updated this at 12 while listening to fall out boy’s folie á duex. once i’d written what i needed to i rewatched a few videos i took at my pierce the veil concert back in april. i’m still not over seeing jaime. i went up to my parents at 12:50 because thats when my mum said they’re ready for me to ask questions about boris. it took about an hour because it was on and off and i kept on getting sidetracked. afterwards i went downstairs, had some breadsticks [and found this huge ass spider living above our food cupboard], did my teeth, and said goodnight to boris.

i cant recall how long i was speaking to him, but i finished at 2:50. i told him about my day and what’s going to be happening tomorrow so he knows i might not be able to be with him as much as id want to. [my prevision is coming round tomorrow]. i got into bed directly after id finished speaking with boris, and listened to three days grace + the used while wrapping up this entry. went to sleep at 3. i usually get to sleep the second my head touches my pillow but it took me a few minutes more today because all i could focus on was the sound of electricity and my radiator. it isn’t even that whirring sound you’d hear at your grandparents when you sleep over, it’s high pitched and inconsistent and weird. also my stick insects were being noisy.

* ughh i hate this page sm it’s probably my least fav one i’ll ever do here’s a picture of boris to make up for it

have a good day/night O_o