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itsabouttimex2 · 2 days ago

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Im not sure if you have gotten this ask before but what are your thoughts on the game Black Myth: Sun Wukong?

Honestly, coming fresh off the heels of Lego Monkie Kid’s “Actually Sun Wukong is a big blundering fuck-up that everyone screams at/hates/gets accidentally hurt by/slowly loses their respect for but trust us brooo there’s totally more to the story I promise I promise!! We’re not gonna show you because we’ve been too busy baiting the same mystery for five years, but truuuust us we’ll maybe probably eventually explain why the Monkey King implicitly either didn’t grow out of his worst characteristics during his journey to the west or otherwise went on an offscreen backslide of development that put him back into ‘reckless self-destructive idiot’ mode!”??

Because for as much as I’ll defend Sun Wukong’s actions in comparison to how badly the narrative portrays him, the writers are pretty blatant with their belief that making genuine mistakes deserves more scorn and attention than gleeful and repeated assault, manipulation, and attempted murder. And given that the fandom agrees with “Attempted murder/assault/manipulation isn’t as bad as accidental endangerment!” you get a monkey who’s constantly being shit on in and out of the story.

I mean, the fandom think so little of Sun Wukong that one of the writers had to come out and say to them directly “The Monkey King is not a deadbeat father who abandoned his son and also guys he’s a good person trying his hardest trust me.”

What the actual fuck?

I am having so much more fun with Black Myth Wukong. A Monkey King that the story and characters (and fans) don’t hate? I love that! A Monkey King who gets to be badass and competent without the writers rushing in to cripple, sideline, or shit on him? That’s great!

And for all the grief I see people sling at the game for “being too edgy” or about the “Monkey King not being quirky enough”, I’ll happily acknowledge that it at least does not have a new antagonist/ally/preexisting main character come out of the woodworks every chapter to squeal about how stupid, arrogant, reckless, and immature Sun Wukong is… all of whom don’t give even a quarter of that scorn to literal warlords and attempted murderers.

Black Myth Wukong shows how much fun a work can be when it doesn’t go out its way to shit on a legacy character that the story was built around including.

#Black Myth Wukong #BMW #BMW Gushing #Lego Monkie Kid #LMK #LMK Critical #okay so BMW isn’t PERFECT or anything #but it’s a thousand times better than the continual degradation of LMKs Monkey King

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starryroe · 5 months ago

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"Trans" is merely one of the many adjectives that describe me but in the eyes of so many people so many things I do will immediately be tied to that adjective.

So many things I feel weird talking about because everyone assumes I am like this because of my transness.

Me being openly very sexual in nature while being a woman? Well, I am a trans woman, need to remember that!

And the thing is so many people don't do this maliciously. So many people have simply internalized the misogynistic idea that women have to be one certain way and when they see a woman who isn't that way... well, if she's cis, she's a weirdo, but if she's trans... well of course, that explains everything doesn't it!

And the people who are seen as cis women in this equation also suffer please don't get me wrong. They get shunned and talked about with intrigue and wonder like they're some sort of mythical beast.

But to the people who are seen as trans women then a part of the observer so often will go "makes sense" as if they discovered the one single key to read humanity.

I am also curious how other people under the trans umbrella feel to this stuff. My idea is that we probably have similar but different relations to having the adjective "trans" heavily influence how people see us, and I would like hearing them out.

Also absolutely necessary disclaimer that it's great if to you personally the adjective is so important that it defines parts of your personality! I won't yuck someone's yum and stuff. I'm just tired personally of feeling like so many people will immediately think of me as trans before they think of me as anything else, but I get the idea of that being something someone could like.

#transmisogyny #transfem #please please please don't read this in any weird way i just woke up #no im not self hating no im not saying everyone does this #and again im not saying that if you like that youre bad or making us look bad or whatever #im mostly just venting about my experiences in a broad way that other people may relate to #i have not asked every trans person how they feel before making this post and I'm sure many will have different experiences #and in fact if you do i would love for you to add yours!#okay that's it i juzt woke up please be normal abt this everyone

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glitchfang · 12 days ago

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always sort of a shock to the system when i remember ppl know sonic 06’s plot more for the fandub than for itself. which is understandable given the og is a mess, but idk its kinda sad bc theres some good stuff there (shadow’s entire story arc)

#dont dislike the dub at all ftr djdjdjdjjf im still very fond of it #but like…. idk i like 06’s story as stupid and messy as it is #i heart convoluted plots that are all over the place. sorry #echoed voice #i think the ‘’if the world chooses to become my enemy’’ trans shadow art shot that storyline up even higher tbh #especially bc elevated by shadows arc. hes literally been demonized and persecuted for what he is since he was born #his title game can be read as his agency being stripped from him from both the narrative AND the player #because black doom wants him to be his punching bag and sonic wants him to be his support #but shadow is in a vulnerable spot bc of his memory loss and lack of agency. some pathways are even abt him thinking hes a clone #with the legacy of a dead man hanging over him #keeping him from ever being his own person #and even tho thats not the case. its still a story about a teenager being emotionally manipulated and abused for who he is #and he finally reclaims that at the end of the game by defying EVERYONE and doing it his own way #even though i hate how hes working with gun in 06 and beyond. other than that 06 follows up on that theme so well #bc mephiles sees shadow as a self assured person and shatters his newfound ego with his demise in the future #where he was scapegoated for the worlds problems and humanity jumped to imprison and/or kill him despite the good hes done #and mephiles’s goal is to break shadow psychologically. to keep him at bay by telling him that no matter what he does #the world will try to kill him anyways and theres no point in fighting for himself. much less the world #and it gets to shadow for a bit but by the end. he realizes that even if what mephiles says is true. he’ll keep going #‘’even if the world chooses to become my enemy. i will fight like i always have.’’ taking off his inhibitor rings to unleash his full power #like….. fuck. thats powerful #iirc it’s ambiguous whether mephiles is lying but tbh. i dont think he is given how shadow was treated after gun raided the ark #like. yeah i do think the military and public would scapegoat shadow. hes ALREADY been scapegoated several times #anyways. all that to say that yes. reading shadow as a trans allegory is extremely powerful to me

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lemongogo · 1 month ago

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need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu

#depression has hollowed me out in2 a shell of my former self #and i thmk i need 2 grit my teeth and just get over It whatever It is #recognizing its no easy task but also knowing i cant keep on like this #and allowing myself to spiral into misery thereby preventing any possible change or growth #sigh …. sogh .. i want 2 be a person again . picture friends circa 2008 outlining me in chalk. i want 2 know theres something there #how u ask (me asking myself)#idk but one way or anotjer . and not in that new yrs resolution fallacy way #anyways . anyways z . crazy how a week off from work will leave u feeling real again #i gotta get out of there . step 1😭🙏🙏#its especially hard when everyone arnd you is objectively doing better. partners finances purpose . >staring in2 the camera 1000 yd stare #u get thru the beast of being a teenager like thank god thats over and then b4 you even catch ur breath #your mid 20s are casting a shadow over u like some menacing thing and u have to gulp and say hes right behind me isnt he #i think people often like to give the advice that youll figure it out but it leaves me feeling so disquieted #bc its like sure im sure i will ive made it this far i can do what i need to get by when the moment matters #but it does nothing to assauge the immediate anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and lack of direction yk #goddmanit assuage i spelled it wrong everyone point and laugh #bc its like what if i dont and i mean that in a very like . existential & not material way . idk what im saying but i think thats the advice #i hate most . not sure if u have felt or do feel the same . -__- like yes oersonal experience sure whatever happens will happen and you will #simply adjust but will i ever feel like its something i want to experience/endure .#whatever anyways x2. im journalling i think that helps me the best rn . and its the one thing thats allowed me hope and i think #having that time to examine and mull over and deconstruct is rly helpful tbh. and i would like to think #over the long term i can repair my creativity and cultivate a new outlet that doesnt leave me feeling empty if i cant draw as i used to #yaar #i feel like i dont write for very long tho thats the one thing that kinda blows #two pages maybe and ive only addressed two maybe three points if im being generous lol i get so bored with the actual motion #when my mind moves 10x as fast . and idc for audio logs either ykwim.#ohh tumblr how i love u . tag system like no other

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shaolin-spin-doctor · 6 months ago

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not sure if this is a hot take but. imo. Fire God Liu Kang kinda sucks and it's the worst direction NRS could've taken his character in tbh

#i would elaborate but im at work waiting for a playblast to render so all ill say is #it contradicts what he had going on since mk9 and I know his character was never very consistent #and you could argue he was even a lil bland #but even then there was Something but then they kinda killed it in Aftermath and man.#and now i feel like his mk1 self is the Embodiment of the 'he's just a good guy and nothing more' criticism #Bc it truly does feel like he left behind everything and everyone who made him a deeper n more interesting person #idk i just think that Liu. if he'd been well written. would've never accepted that offer of divinity #and seeing him as the fire god and even harnessing the hourglass' power leaves a sour taste in my mouth #and i don't see a good character i see someone who had so much potential #but ultimately became completely defined by the 'Good Guy Protagonist' trope rather than embracing the nuance he used to have #ooooh yeah he became a benevolent almighty god!!!!! a perfect ending for him!!!!! NO HE'S JUST A CARDBOARD CUTOUT NOW AAAA #Chat in The Hat #Liu Kang #hope i don't get crucified for this but man. I really really hate fire god liu kang

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zymstarz · 8 months ago

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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart #zymtalk #rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st #the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL #i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board #bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route #and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week #then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly #in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized #after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly #SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it #oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi #i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie #[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now #idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim #but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it #anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe #edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j

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saudebazi · 9 months ago

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#the more i stay around people the more i want to become like them out of spite #because i was so surprised these people are at least 24-26 years age some even did a minor bachelor's before coming here #some have completed post grad and then joined #like aren't you all too fucking old to act that immature #i grew so resentful of everyone how they keep on doing the worst low man shit and then victimize themselves #hypocrites full of shit they don't want to hear the truth #i know no one has the audacity to take a fight with me on here because they know im the youngest here #not because im the youngest but because im better #the girls frown upon me because i don't hear their low mindset humorless jokes and pointo out where they fall short #oh [my irl name] youre so stiff hamesha kami kyun nikalti rahti ho hamesha baat kaatne ki aadat hai learn to take a joke #mazaak hi to kar rahe hain kya yaar #ive cried so many times because i feel suffocated here and out of hate i want to act immature selfish hypocrite too so i do #i become self centered and look into my needs #but everyday bcg shows me how one stays firm in mindset even amidst surrounding of shit people #he points out to me all the time when i start acting like them he says why aren't you trying to rise above #i say ham bhi karte hai na unn chutiyon jaisa behave kyunki unhe unhi ki language mei samajh aata hai #achha ban kar honest banne se kuch nahi milta yaha #but he knows his stuff #he never does these things #however much i let evil thoughts take upon i get astounded everyday how he's practicing his rightful his honesty even tho no one's looking #it makes me want to cry #i hope he gets so ahead in life i hope he stands at the podium one day on a stage and deliver speeches where people actually can see him #like he sees the orator that come to attend our unis gatherings and says everytime kuch to baat hoti hai inn logon mei #i hope he achieves whatever he wants i hope he gets ahead of everyone all this fucking corruption #its not that he's done anything that im applauding he tries his best #and maybe teachers see that too all in class they're only looking at him and teaching they know #do you know how fucking hard it is not get corrupted in this uni and become one of those assholes that have done things unimaginable #im inspired everyday ill try my best to be like him #i do not just want to praise him i want to become someone he doesn't have to say fir tum bhi vahi karogi to kya farq reh jaayega #kuch bada nahi hota logon ki roz roz ki choti choti aadaton se pata chal jaata hai vo kaise hain

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fardf150 · 7 months ago

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fuck

#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all #bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever #but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then #but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou #s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck #i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked #i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself #fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her #and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it #but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all #im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet #I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands #'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring #you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act #like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even #fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me #i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned

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tacagen · 2 years ago

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yeah btw i'd like to talk about nega!gosalyn. i was wondering why negaduck adopted her at all if she's everything he despises and he doesnt seem to really care (no reaction to her helping darkwing, leaving her under the glass with nega!tank and friendly four but Also telling her to dirty the kitchen before all the events of 'life, the negaverse and everything'?). does he care a little deep down inside? does she serve some purpose to him? but consider: it happened the other way around. nega!gosalyn adopted negaduck as her father.

#negaduck #darkwing duck #nega gosalyn #look this girl didnt even switch a little when she found out the purple drake wasnt negaduck. she has the same 🥰🌸 approach for EVERYONE #all im saying is everything is fren-shaped to her and she Doesnt Care if it's an evil dictator who hates everything cute and good #as to negaduck in my image he tolerates her but nothing more. he's passive about her presence. which is still a big fucking thing #like i said in the tags to reverse family post HE DOES WANT A COOLER GOSALYN. i consider 2nd run where he offers gos to join him canon #nega!gos is the Boring one to him but i think he lowkey admires her total lack of self-preservation instinct about him hence the tolerance #like you Do have to be completely crazy to bring fucking NEGADUCK to your orphanage and be like 'he's adopting me byeeeeee🥰🌸'

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pigeonxp · 2 years ago

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Personally I agree on the not relating everything to dsmp thing, but I’m not saying anything because Wilbur himself brought up having a previous child so this was the only logical outcome 🤷🏽‍♂️

i understand i just hate it SO BADDD LMAOOO specifically the fanfics (im just trying to read some dadbur fluff WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABT FUNDY AND ANGST) i really enjoy them calling back to dsmp lore as jokes bc it feels like a funny inside joke everyones in on but jfc sometimes the way some ends of the fanbases take it boil my blood idk

#i understand why ppl do it but omg it makes me so mad LMAO #some lore abt me is that ill find a way to complain abt everything and i have infinite pet peeves #AND im a self aware hypocrite so im not afraid to say i didnt care abt fundy angst during dsmp era bc i hated how everyone villified #c!wilbur and i wanted to woobify him #SUE ME 🫣#this is not trying to bash on ppls creativity i just want to be a hater 💔#i just have this inhuman urge to hate on things sorry yall 🫶#ALSO for those tiktok comments that use the damn good place audio “why does she get that mom i wanted that mom” for fundy and tallulah #ENOUGH. YOU ARE ANNOYING #peace and love ❤️#wilbur soot #qsmp #tallulah

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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago

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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

#tales from diana #sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe #i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations #i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to #he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong #like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back #i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him #and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent #some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least #a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them #theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear #and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong #even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever #i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it #i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no #im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.

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our-lady-of-mcr · 9 months ago

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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

#self #for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school #and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt #trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house #for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO #and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time #i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it #is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication #which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it #but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can #and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar #but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely #on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment #her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way #i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to #hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very #honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer #regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend #i am not the person who put that shit in your folder #though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is #and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building #that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months #yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you #AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not #im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that #shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything #so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything

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iraqueer · 10 months ago

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#really does so being fun to your brain to get affirmations and compliments from strangers or friends (ie people i see frequently) more than #the family i live with. like mixed with rsd wich makes evrey criticism hold ten times the weight of a compliment means when i do get i compl #compliment from the family i live with it sounds disingenuous #like i know ill get a lecture or a passive aggressive comment so that compliment doesnt count. or i had to fish for it so it doesnt count #it makes me feel like im barely tolerable to the people i live with who see me the most in my tuest self the only reason my friends or aqu #or acquaintances dont feel that way is cuz they havent been around me enogh and eventually ill exhaist all goodwill and love that people hav #have for me until they only associate with me because of obligation. it also makes me prone to cry when someone gives me a compliment and it #it makes me scared to share this with my family becasue i feel like theyll ruin it. i tell my husband that the pediatrician says the kids a #are growing qell amd hitting theyre milestones and he sqys that she always says that and to everyone and it cheapens the compliment #people who dont live with me think im intelligent amd competant and funny and a joy to know but i dont get that fweling from my family and i #i know part of it is because of my shit brain that weights criticisms so much more strongly but a part of it is the things they say amd more #more importantly the things they dont it feels so rar that i get a compliment of any kind and i dont know if its my stupid depressed brain #making me perceive this or if its true if its a mix or if i developed this thought process because i was taught this #worst part is i dont feel shit enough to cry and get that emotional release #tldr eventually evreyone hates me and one day my kids will too hahahahahaha i physically feel pain rn lol

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waywardsalt · 1 year ago

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ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great

#this was gonna be like. a jokey post at first juxtaposing oshus’ expectations vs reality with linebeck but im too emotionally drained #so real linebeck talk in the tags bc idk if ive actually talked much abt like. the specific as on why. iwrite and see him the way i do #likr. off the bat i put him at like 19 in ph and im too fucking tired and just. done rn to justify that like whatever kill me if you wish.#like. hes. been throught a lit hes been abused neglected used ignored hurt ridiculed violated deceived hes so fucking tired #hes worn down over the course of ph it causes him to finally like. express his anguish over what hes been theough its cathartic #hes getting pushed but talking to oshus and being around link loosens him up and he fucking. cries properly yknow #he cries about everything and the last bit of ph hes kind of an emotional wreck but hes finally letting himself feel all that shit #he cries he struggles to articulate himself he has a violent public meltdown as he becomes fed up with his reputation #and it all culminates in bellumbeck just. being a really raw examination of what hes been through and how he feels and what to do now #he hates people he has people he wants to kill people he wanted to kill but after bellumbeck its just. hes tired. hes processed everythjng #and then he needs the post ph crew and everyone they meet along the way to just. be a fucking support system for the first time ever #like post ph hes rhe captain he runs the ship he keeps everyone in line he can do that. but hes softer more vulnerable more self doubting #hes kinder and more hesitant but trying new things and being more openly passionate abt his interests #and he keeps working through his trauma he finds out what else it causes problems for and everyone. supports him #hes not capable of like. being any kind of parental figure to link in ph his perspective on like. how to handle kids is fucked #because his perspective on what a normal childhood should look like is kind of a mess #his perspective on relationships is murky on love on adventure on self expression but post ph hes just. free. tired but free #he manages to take naps the group helps him eat properly he learns his physical boundaries and actually does what he loves #idk. im just. man idk. its still measy but like. my version of linebeck is. i really hate the idea that its so out of character its not him #like. idfk what to even say abt that. idfk what ‘in character’ looks like when you hc a character to be masking in canon #when you hc them to be lying and covering things up and just. subdued bc theyre working on stuff #that they lie and exaggerate their own traits on purpose but let the truth through some cracks like what rhe fuck then #i hate it bc i dont see anyone else think of linebeck anything like this so im scared im fucking wrong somehow #im tired. i recently learned that one of my cats has been burrowing under and chilling under a blanket we cover a couch with #its very cute

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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definitely not related to anything but how do you think Masato would view who he became in the present? I feel like he'd obv feel vindication for having fixed his fucked up body somewhat and gotten to the level of power he'd desired but at the same time i have to wonder if theres a lil bit of seething at aokis hypocrisy and sliminess (not that he's any better but i don't think he'd have the self awareness to get that oops)

GREAT QUESTION. ASTOUNDING QUESTION EVEN......

theres no doubt that masato wouldnt have any qualms about aoki yk. Succeeding and getting as far as he has

at the same time, i think because it's not him (as in. he's still 'stuck' with the self he has now) there'd be envy. like Yeah Thats Great He Gets That Eventually But Why Not Now kind of deal- and why'd it have to take All Of That to get it anyway ? unfair, he thinks. me thinks (╯▽╰ )

#snap chats #masato's a hypocrite at his core we know he woludn't really be 100% on board even with himself LOL #there might ALSO be case in masato hating just. how much of a worm aoki is LOL #like what aoki does he does majorly because he believes its what people want #he lives for the attention of the public and their approval as it validates him and makes him feel yk. Normal.#Son Your Normal Is Horrible But I Understand (You're Wack As Hell) but anyway #it wasnt as if masato didnt already have the seedlings of his ardent anti-crime ideals or however else you label it as #seeing the No Dumping Trash sign probably made his cope worse. tbh. yk he's super Anti-Crime now as a way to 'correct' that moment #and if not that it just solidified to himself how much of 'trash' 'masato arakawa' is right #but thats for the masato/aoki analysis ill save that for another year <- already wrote it #either way i think knowing how far and obsessive aoki is about everyones approval is like... Oh So You're A Worm LOL #idk. hard to say since i only know if i found out my future self became a politician i would kill him in cold blood LOLOLOL #ANYWAY ILL END IT THERE NOOOOO im normal i promise.....#im gonna go for a walk now before stream lol....#you should ask me more about masato and aoki and masato /and/ aoki cause :)))))))))))))) //explodes//

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fruitsyrups · 1 year ago

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I tried to type the word lives but accidentally said loves and then it autocorrected to lobes. What.

#fighting for their lobes #im oc brained again. ive decided that everyone is boring and im terrible #except for my special little girl. my self insert . my silly... my skrunkle...#but then what does it say about me if im incapable of creating characters who arent exactly like me. grahhh.#i dont have enough life experience... ... ... ....#most of the characters i like arent that much like me probably. like #idk. finn and jake and pb? i hate science and im not a little adventure boy sooo. its not that i dont have the capacity to like characters #who i dont 100% relate to. im just bad at thinking them up. yeah...#idk #all of my story ideas have turned into Not even anythint befquse im always like 'no that sucks i need to change it'#& the only one i consistently like is ironically somehow the one set in highschool even though thats so boring #and even thst doesnt have a plot #its just like 'girl gets invisibility powers and then meets this other girl & they do Espionage at another school in the area #not the one they go to. a different one. because theres some kind of conspiracy I Guess (dontknow what it is. no plot.)#and then theres another girl and shes like top student high achiever kind of uptight. and shes involved in clubs or something like that so #maybe one of her parents is a teacher or something idk. so shes there after school hours #and she gets roped into it somehow idk........ no plot!!! like the smallest weensiest little Start of a plot but no actual plot #ahhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhh. ahhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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