#no his actions are not justified or justifiable

[janmisali]

jan Misali series 2025 status report, "please don't ask me about these unless you have an actual question beyond 'when is the next one' or 'is this series dead'" edition

finannual meme mashups: officially over. 2024 was the last one, unless I decide to do another whole-decade mashup at the end of 2029 (I probably won't).

toki pona lessons: fully intend to get back to this eventually! however the increasingly impatient comments demanding more of this series have successfully completely destroyed my motivation to put work into this series. I do genuinely promise to get back to it as soon as people stop asking for it. that's not a bit.

Conlang Critic: on indefinite hiatus. I'm not going to say it's over, but I have no current plans to make any more of it. but maybe someday!

how many Super Mario games are there?: well for starters I'm still not fully recovered from the "basking" phase of making hmsmgatn. but also this series is "over" until enough things happen to justify a sequel. (and no, I'm not going to do the same concept with another series.)

retconlang: canceled. the pilot did not perform well, and I overwhelmingly got more people saying a generic "please make more of this!" or "when is the next episode?" than any actual positive feedback on the video

the wāw saga: it's weird that people in annoying comments have been grouping this in with the other series because like, unlike the others there isn't any indication in the videos themselves that this is a series I have ever intended to continue beyond those two videos? I do have nebulous ideas for a third installment in the trill-ogy, but that's not something I'm actively planning or working on.

Wario Faces Consequences for His Actions: took a break when Move It! was announced, and haven't been able to regain momentum. I'd love to get back to this, but I just haven't yet.

kijetesumikyoku: the toki pona community needs to hurry up and make more music for me to sample, there's still not enough out there to make a third one of these

tumblr polls: I will literally never run out of ideas for tumblr polls. this series will continue until tumblr physically stops me from making them

[sleepy-cone]

Tim Drake who staged his own public assassination and spent a year in fake physical therapy. An international art thief. Tried to clone his dead friends. Has several contingencies for his OWN supervillian arc.

Tim: "I hear what you all are saying, but I'm pretty sure, like 98% of Dick's plans are justifiably the best coarse of action and was necessary to complete the task at hand as efficiently as possible. "

Tim: I can’t tell dick?? I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or not trustworthy bc I’m doing something reckless??!

Jason who saw Dick make out with a mark to steal something from his pocket when Dick was 17:…

Bruce who saw Dick jump off a moving plane and hum the song “I need a hero” instead of calling for Superman:

Wally who say Dick go fuck it and infiltrate a sex trafficking ring as a stripper bc someone said he was too pretty to work for the mob:

Roy who has smacked dick out of delusions 15 times too many:

Clark who saw dick stay in a radioactive city for vibes:

Diana who has heard Donna’s concerned ramblings since she was like 12:

Damian who saw that Dick turned the bat ears into projectiles that can electrocute you:

Steph who saw the same thing:

Tim who refuses to believe Dick Grayson can do anything that isn’t brilliant, premeditated and completely the best option: I CANT HE’ll be so disappointed:(

[gotta-winwin]

squidgame!wonwoo x reader

cw/tw: references to squid game, blood, guns, dark!wonwoo, lost!reader, angst, ambiguous ending a/n: squid game s2 has been living rent free in my head these past few weeks (yim siwan has reentered the serena residence as well) and i couldn't help but think... wonwoo frontman angst?

frontman!wonwoo feels immune to the gore and pain. He barely bats an eye now, watching the games run from his spot on the couch, observing through a large flat screen tv. It no longer feels real, as if he was just watching a movie. The sounds of those gunshots used to deafen both his heart and his ear, but now they’re strangely silent, missing his hearing altogether. 

frontman!wonwoo remembers how he used to cry over losing you, body shaking as he begged to the sky, his chest aching with love that had nowhere to go. A past long forgotten - until he’d wake up covered in sweat, his hands shaking, cupping an invisible face he could touch but not see. He barely remembers the reason he lost you - but he sees your face clearly. 

frontman!wonwoo, who never planned to have the job he had now. You had always praised him for being a hard worker, always able to climb his way to the top - even if he had to crawl to get there. It felt like a curse now, as he oversaw the games, a mask replacing his usual glasses. He wore contacts now - the feeling of your hands fixing his glasses that would always sit crooked against his face haunted him, even to this day. 

frontman!wonwoo, who justifies his actions by telling himself it’s not really his fault. It’s not like he’s physically killing those people, and they did give consent! He argues with the better half of himself that life was never especially kind to him, so why should he? In fact, life had been rather cruel - taking you from his reach and trapping him in this cold world. 

frontman!wonwoo scoffs at the people begging him to save their lives. After all, why should he? The question only infuriates him: he couldn’t even save the only person he’s ever loved in this life and they’re asking him to save them? Your disappearance and running the games had changed him - he knew, even if you did return, you’d never love this version of him. 

frontman!wonwoo brings in one of the triangle guards below him, prepared to scold them for going against the rules he had set - no communication with players, no matter the circumstance. He finds himself pausing, as he listens to their reasoning: something about the player being sick and needing the bathroom after hours, and for the first time in a long time, he feels his face relaxing. 

frontman!wonwoo doesn’t understand why he had let the guard off so easily. There was just something about the way they spoke, even covered under the heavy voice modulation, the tone and inflections tugged at his stomach and heartstrings. He found it odd and not at all like him. 

frontman!wonwoo, who slowly becomes entranced by the guard, watching their every move on footage, ignoring the games in front of him. His once calculated and orderly days crumble, leaving him grappling with the idea that just maybe, past!wonwoo was beginning to fight his way out again.

frontman!wonwoo, who starts ordering the guard in more often under the guise of ‘maintenance’ or ‘reprimands.’ He never speaks much, asking a few questions here and there - but instead he listens, ordering the guard to speak, to say anything, to tell him anything. He listens, wholly concentrated on their cadence, desperately trying to pinpoint where he’s heard it from. 

frontman!wonwoo, who hesitates to pull the trigger for the first time since he had first started working for the game. He stares at the young woman before him, her eyes quivering with tears, a brave expression on her face - staring death head-on. Lowering the gun, he gestures for her to run. Leave, he tells her quietly, a part of him still amazed at his own actions. 

frontman!wonwoo, who doubles down on the cruelty once he realizes he’s been slipping. As if he were trying to recondition himself, Wonwoo takes it upon himself to be twice as unforgiving, white hot anger directed solely at himself for letting his guard down. 

frontman!wonwoo, who looks at you with bewildered eyes as you take off your mask, dropping it to the floor as you stare down the barrel of his gun. You’ve had enough - unable to watch him destroy both himself and others, stepping in front of him with heartache coursing through your veins. His eyes widen subtly as he stares, mouth open, the muscles trying to remember how to speak your name. 

frontman!wonwoo, who calls out your name with a slight rasp, his throat closing up as he lowers the gun, arms falling uselessly to his sides. You look the same as the last day he saw you, staring at him with helpless eyes as you looked around, the piles of dead bodies staring back at you. 

At the end of the day, it was the stark contrast of seeing you surrounded by blood and death that jolted frontman!wonwoo out of his stupor. The sight was obscene, sinful (not in the good way) and just not right. His arms reached out to grab you as he neared, frantic eyes roaming across your features to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. 

frontman!wonwoo, who abandons his job and respobsiblites with your miraculous return. He doesn’t care about the target now on his back, happy to fight through fire and ice to keep you by his side - promising you the life he couldn’t give you before: normalcy. Wonwoo yearns for it, to regain the uneventful yet fulfilling life he had once shared with you, leaving the mess behind. 

[thequeenofthedisneyverse]

How to NOT write like Vivziepop guide!

Writing tips:

1. Don't treat SA/Rape as a joke. Seriously, it shouldn't be that hard. EX: In Helluva Boss; Spring Broken, Moxxie goes to talk to Verosika and her crew in hopes to get them to move her car. He gets SA'd as a result and we're supposed to see that as a joke.

I don't specifically remember the episode name, but Sir pentious asks Cherri if she wants to have sex with him but he then gets scared/nervous and says "BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE!!" or something like that. He then gets taken by a bunch of people into a room and he CLEARLY looks uncomfortable. Again, I suppose we're supposed to see that as a joke for some reason.

SA/Rape isn't funny, and you can offend tons of people writing it so carelessly. DON'T DO THAT!

2. If your characters come from a certain era, RESEARCH THAT ERA. Ex: Alastor was supposed to be a famous radio host in the 1920s (seeing as he died in 1933) when he was alive despite being a mixed (Black and white) man. Jim Crow laws existed in those times so Alastor couldn't have become a popular radio host unless he was white passing, which we don't know. Also, from what I got from @bump-inthe-night the first black radio personality in Louisiana was Vernon Winslow, known as Dr. Daddy-O, in 1949.

Also, from @bump-inthe-night - (her words were pasted here because I couldn't have said it better myself) Despite dying in 1947, Angel overdosed on PCP. This drug was discovered in 1926, and it started being utilized as a general anesthetic in the 1950s. PCP became a street drug in the 1960s and gained popularity in the 1970s. It's impossible for Angel to have overdosed on this drug when he was alive. RESEARCH. BEFORE. YOU. WRITE. THE. CHARACTER.

This is also from @/bump-inthe-night. Sir Pentious died in 1888, but he’s wearing a shoulder-padded suit. Shoulder pads, invented in 1877, were used in football uniforms. They didn’t cross over into fashion and become popular until the 1930s. Sir Pentious shouldn’t be wearing a shoulder-padded suit, and neither should Vox, who died in the 1950s, when this started falling out of style.

3. Don't victimize characters that obviously shouldn't be victimized. Example: Stolas.

I will tag the people who inspired this post and paste their stuff here because they say these things better than me.

@flower-boi16 says "So fucking what if Stolas was neglected as a child or had a mean wife? How does that relate to ANY of his actions he takes throughout the series??? It doesn’t excuse SHIT. Granted, the “this character’s trauma is not an excuse” argument is a kind of argument I’ve grown to be annoyed by due to how often it gets misused. Yes, a character’s backstory or trauma doesn’t excuse or justify their actions.

The issue arises though when the character’s bad actions are a direct response to that trauma and so it can make it look like your just ignoring major context for what lead to the character doing these actions just so you can label them as irredeemable. With Stolas, however, I have no hesitation in saying that whatever backstory and trauma he may have I genuinely don’t care because that trauma doesn’t matter to ANY of his actions.

The “his daughter doesn’t like him” defense doesn’t work because 1. Octavia is shown to still care for her father and is actually shown to be excited to spend time with him in Seeing Stars and 2. Octavia has a perfectly valid reason to dislike Stolas given how shitty of a father he is to her.

The “Stolas is well meaning/believes that Blitzo likes being treated like a sex toy” defense also doesn’t work when Stolas can very clearly see that Blitzo does NOT like being treated that way. Ffs Blitz was completely shocked and disgusted by Stolas’ sexual remarks on him on the phone in Loo Loo Land, Stolas can clearly see Blitz DOESN'T ENJOY THIS but continues flirting with him anyway. Anyone who is well-meaning can still see when they fucked up."

@floralcavern "Stolas is the epitome of writers thinking they wrote a deep character when they actually created the most shallowly written character of all time. Stolas receives no consequences, no call outs, no growth, because he gets the excuse of ‘he’s abused’ to not have to face anything bad happen to him. It’s infuriating how shielded he is by the writers."

4. Understand what your writing! This is also from @/floralcavern and I couldn't agree more. "And Helluva Boss didn’t need extremely deep characters. It started off as a comedy, where characters could do messed up, edgy shit because nothing is meant to be taken seriously. But then suddenly the show decides to become a super serious, soap opera drama?? It completely derails its original premise to be something completely different. The beginning of Helluva Boss and what we currently have are 2 completely different shows. And I’m not saying comedies can’t have depth. One of my favorite examples is Dan Da Dan! It’s literally a show about a guy whose dick was stolen by a ghost. And yet, the show writers know how to balance ridiculous comedy and storytelling with genuine, human moments. But Viv’s shows don’t have that balance. The show is hardly a comedy anymore and takes itself way too seriously, while also refusing to acknowledge actual things that need to be acknowledged."

5. This should be obvious but don't make male characters (or any characters for that matter) that are supposed to be gay call their sisters "hot" or "Sexy". Example: Andrelphus or whatever his name is. It comes off as extremely gross and really unnecessary. Vivziepop said he does that to make others think he's straight?????...Andrelphus was literally in the pride parade art. WTF VIV?!

So yeah, don't do that unless it's relevant to the plot. Like the characters have a secret incestual relationship or the incest is being pushed/forced onto the other sibling character or SOMETHING! And no, before you say it, Stella never looked comfortable being called attractive by her own brother.

5. Don't fetishize rape or have/hire people that work under you that do. It's as simple as that.

6. When writing serious topics such as SA, TREAT THE TOPIC SERIOUSLY!

7. Be mindful of stereotypes. I've learned (with the help of others pointing it out) that Angel Dust is a stereotype of gay men.

8. Call out your characters for their actions. Angel is shown to sexually harass other male characters with no call outs or apologies. Same can be said for Stolas.

I'm not sure of what else to add. If anyone else wants to add something, feel free to comment or reblog. Your words will help others a lot!

[sha-brytols]

someone: do you think anders is a good person

the part of my brain that engages in genuine critical media analysis: i think it's disingenuous to label him through the lens of a binary good/evil paradigm because what makes him such an interesting and engaging character is his status inbetween a human with complex emotions and desires and flaws that will never fully align with each other, and the singleminded focus and purpose of a supernatural entity that is literally justice incarnate and has no capacity for nuance and whose very nature is fundamentally incompatible with humanity but the two of them are so deeply connected that they make up a single identity that's constantly at odds with itself and this struggle causes him to act in ways that aren't always clean and often land him and those around him in impossible positions. i think he was morally justified in doing what he did to the chantry but i also believe he understood the magnitude of what he was doing which is why i inherently disagree with the notion that characters like varric or sebastian were wrong in their reactions because that's the very nature of violent revolution—people get caught in the crossfire and are harmed despite their innocence and regardless of the righteousness of the action at large. if someone killed your mom to protect a hundred orphans you probably wouldn't come out of the experience full of love and admiration for the person who killed your mother because regardless of the outcome they still fucking killed your mother. anders destroyed people's homes and lives and there's a conversation to be had about how he gaslit and exploited hawke, his own potential lover, into being an unwitting accomplice even though we know through meta knowledge that he was perfectly capable of doing it on his own and very likely only wanted hawke's involvement because he needed a powerful figure to become the rallying symbol for his cause. the reality is his very nature would have never allowed him to choose hawke and his friends over his goal because to do so would have been fundamentally selfish and antithetical to his newfound identity as one who champions the needs of the many at the expense of the individual. it's a beautifully tragic story about the lengths a person would have to go to in order to enact any sort of meaningful change while constrained in a system that benefits from their powerlessness, and how that process cannot exist without suffering and pain on both the individual and collective level. i also feel like if anders was written by a person with a degree of compassion and awareness for not only the character they were writing but just what living as a vulnerable and targeted minority is like then the narrative and message would have been vastly different than what ended up on screen because, ultimately, the game wants you to look at the stark injustice of a child being ripped away from their family to spend a life locked away in cold isolation where they're at constant risk of exploitation, abuse, death, and even a complete removal of their personhood, and think that there's room for compromise. it's a narrative that perpetuates the myth that passivity and tolerance in the face of oppression is more virtuous than burdening the masses with the discomfort of seeing their own culpability in sustaining it. a better game would have challenged varric and sebastian while also affirming their anger instead of just the latter. a better game would have explored hawke's reaction in a deeper manner that examined their relationship with the system, their own internal biases, and how anders affected their worldview.

the part of my brain that was on tumblr in 2014 and is still extremely petty and spiteful: he should have blown up the conclave while he was at it

[snugglyporos]

// Christ I wish I could go back in time and erase concepts like 'unconscious bias' from the world of popular lingo because people apply it to things that they don't apply to. No, most people do not possess an unconscious bias that working class people are worth less than rich people, that's your classist ideology being applied to things that you shouldn't apply it to. We might call that a conscious bias.

What is actually happening is a mix of tropes being blended together and not changing over time. Namely, the idea that the more individuals there are, the weaker they are. We see this everywhere; fifty ninjas? Weak. Not a problem. One ninja? Super powerful. Legend. This exists in everything from James Bond movies to comics to Power Rangers.

The reality is that, narratively speaking, the random cannon fodder between the protagonist and the final boss do not matter. They don't! In real life they would, but if you tried to give ever goon a backstory and explain it you would have a shit story because the audience does not care about the backstory of unnamed good #23. After they take the punch from the protagonist, the audience has entirely forgotten they existed.

Which means that, narratively speaking, the killing of the main villain is more important and more impactful than the killing of some random goon. Now, if you're a good writer this shouldn't be the case. But this too, comes from the blending of genres and tropes.

In the late 1980s, fiction became more violent and more visceral. This means that a lot more violence was happening! And yet, writers still wanted to have their protagonist show that they were the protagonist, because people were all in on moral relativism. People would be like 'well, there's no difference between the hero and the villain if the hero kills the villain.'

The response was a lot of heroes started adopting a weird kind of no killing rule; Batman will break your fucking spine but kill the guy who just blew up a building? That's too far! 'I'm not like you, a guy who kills people, I just cripple them for life!'

And again, this is what happens when genre conventions (the hero should be morally superior than the villain, or at least attempt to be) mixing with trope developments (everything now needs to be brutal and violent to reflect real life).

Now, the circle has completed itself, where we're once again back to 1985, where people are like 'actually no, the hero should fucking kill that guy.' You'll probably be a big fan of the Death Wish movies and The Dark Knight Strikes Back; you know, things that lots of proto-fascists really love because they reinforce the notion that actually, heroes should wield violence against their enemies and impose their will through abject terror.

The reality is, people aren't sitting around going 'my work should reflect the idea that workers are less important than the boss' it's that narratively, the random goons exist to be smacked down to prepare the audience for the big bad, because rising action requires that there be rising challenges. This is mixing along with personal tastes in media.

Now, you could, for example, turn this new trope on its head and ask whether the Punisher murdering every jaywalker and low level drug dealer with extreme violence makes him a villain, because his ideal is that any lawbreaker should be murdered instantly no matter how low the crime. You might also argue that the trope should actually be that the grunts shouldn't be killed by the hero, but the guy who organized them should, because he's much worse than they are.

You could also argue that, the reason why the hero doesn't just kill the villain is that murder is wrong? Even if you think it's morally justified? I think people forget, when they fantasize about an ideal French Revolution, that the most common crime people were executed for was pickpocketing, and every day they would execute the guys who got caught working the crowds at the executions the day before. More poor people got killed in the French Revolution than rich people; you should probably keep that in mind!

Because the core reason you probably want your hero to not kill people in general is that you then have to ask who deserves it and your answer will inevitably include a lot of people you might actually like! You probably don't want heroes taking vague concepts like justice into their own hands because inevitably that makes them into the Death Wish protagonist, deciding that what really needs to happen is for a white guy with a gun to just start shooting up inner cities.

You don't want your hero to start killing people because this is corrosive and it will inevitably result in comparisons between people who got killed.

So no, it's not some kind of unconscious bias, it's because we've melted a worldwide demand for bloodshed and violence with established genre tropes and if you removed one or the other people would complain and be very unhappy.

Or, I guess you could go on and say that Freddy Kruger is anti-marxist because he only targets teenagers instead of people who really deserve it.

[okasuka]

Part two of my last post -

A few days after your first visit to Wayne Manor, Damian invited you over again. It was a Saturday afternoon, and you were looking forward to spending time with him in a more relaxed setting. As you arrived, Alfred greeted you with his usual warmth, and you felt yourself growing more comfortable in the lavish home, which now seemed more like a second home rather than an intimidating mansion.

This time, you weren’t just hanging out in the living room. Damian had insisted you join him in the training room, a large space filled with various pieces of gym equipment and a few sparring mats. You were sitting on one of the benches, watching as Damian practiced his martial arts routines with a practiced grace, his movements sharp and fluid.

As you were chatting, trying to keep up with the complex martial terminology he kept mentioning, the door suddenly opened, and in walked a man with a friendly smile, his features undeniably handsome. He had a youthful energy to him, and his playful demeanor made him seem more approachable than most people you’d met.

“Well, well, what’s this? The elusive Y/N?” The man said, his voice laced with humor. You turned to see a tall, athletic figure leaning against the doorway, clearly amused.

Damian froze, his entire body tensing as soon as he saw who it was. “Dick,” he muttered, sounding like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

You blinked in confusion, trying to piece it all together. “Uh, hey there,” you said, offering a small wave. “I’m Y/N.”

Dick Grayson—Damian’s older brother, as you quickly learned—grinned and walked in, his eyes darting to Damian. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Y/N,” he said, his voice warm and teasing. “Damian talks about you more than he lets on.”

Damian scowled, rolling his eyes. “That’s not true,” he said quickly, though the slight flush on his face betrayed him.

Dick smirked, glancing down at the bracelet on Damian’s wrist. “That’s not what it looks like to me,” he said with a raised eyebrow, reaching out to gently tug on the bracelet. “Matching friendship bracelets, huh? Is that what we’re calling it these days?”

You felt your heart skip a beat as you saw Damian’s face turn bright red, clearly uncomfortable with his brother’s teasing. You could tell that the teasing wasn’t meant to be mean-spirited, but Damian’s reaction was enough to make you feel a little awkward.

Before you could say anything to ease the situation, another voice entered the room. “Is it true? Does our little bro have a soft spot for someone?” Jason Todd, the third Wayne brother, walked in, wearing his usual casual attire, a smirk playing on his lips. “I can’t believe it. This is actually adorable.”

Damian’s glare shot from Dick to Jason, and you could see the flush on his face deepening. “This isn’t funny,” he muttered, his voice low.

Jason crossed his arms, looking from Damian to the bracelet. “Oh, come on, man. It’s cute. Who knew you could be this… human?”

Dick chuckled and glanced over at you. “Does it feel like you’re dating a brick wall yet? He’s not exactly easy to read, but hey, he’s got a heart under that tough exterior, I promise.”

Damian’s patience finally snapped, and he yanked the bracelet off his wrist. “I don’t need this,” he muttered under his breath. His actions were swift, and before anyone could stop him, he threw the bracelet into the trash bin with a frustrated sigh.

You stood frozen, the lump in your throat growing as you watched Damian angrily rip the bracelet from his wrist and throw it into the trash. The simple action stung more than you anticipated, the weight of the gesture sinking into your chest. You had poured effort and care into making that bracelet, and now he was discarding it without a second thought. It felt like a rejection, like everything you’d built up between the two of you had been undone in an instant.

Damian turned to face you, clearly irritated but avoiding your gaze. “It’s stupid,” he muttered, as if trying to justify his actions to himself more than to you.

You blinked, the words hitting you like a slap. “What?” You could barely process what he was saying. “You think it’s stupid?”

Damian rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed by your reaction. “I don’t need some stupid bracelet to prove anything.” His voice was sharp, and his posture was rigid as if trying to defend himself from something. “I didn’t ask for it, Y/N. You didn’t need to do that.”

You shook your head, feeling a rush of emotions surge through you. “That’s not the point. It wasn’t about proving anything. I made it for you because I care about you,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “I thought it would mean something.”

Damian’s eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite read, his frustration building. “You’re being stupid.” He shot back, his words cutting deep. “It’s just a bracelet. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. You care too much, and I don’t need that.”

The sting of his words hit harder than you expected. You tried to steady yourself, but your voice wavered. “I thought I was doing something nice for you. You don’t get it, do you? You’re so afraid of anything that means something, so you push it all away. You push me away.”

Damian stood there, his chest rising and falling with frustration, but his eyes avoided yours, a tightness in his jaw betraying his inner turmoil. “You’re making this a bigger issue than it needs to be,” he said, his voice low and defensive. “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.”

You took a step back, trying to calm yourself but finding it harder to keep your composure. “I’m not feeling sorry for you, Damian. I’m just trying to be your friend.” The words felt like a punch to your gut. You were trying to reach him, but it seemed like he wasn’t even listening.

Damian’s fists clenched, his voice coming out sharp and cold. “Well, maybe you should stop being so stupid about it then.” He didn’t look at you as he turned away, his frustration building into something deeper. “I don’t need a bracelet to tell me that you care, okay?”

The anger in his voice took you by surprise. You swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. “Fine,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, a heavy bitterness seeping into your words. “If it’s so stupid, then never mind.”

You turned away from him, your heart heavy in your chest. The argument, the hurt, the confusion—it was all too much. You didn’t want to keep fighting, but the feeling of rejection was too strong to ignore.

“Y/N, wait—” Damian started, his voice softer, but the words hung awkwardly in the air. You didn’t stop to hear him out. You just wanted to leave, to get away from the pain.

“Don’t bother,” you said, without turning back. You didn’t want to hear anything else from him right now.

You headed toward the door, leaving the room behind, feeling a sinking pit in your stomach. As you walked out, the last thing you heard was Damian muttering something under his breath, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop and listen.

The silence in the hallway was deafening as you made your way out of the manor. It felt like your chest was caving in, and all you wanted was to be far away from the tension that had just exploded. The door closed behind you with a soft click, and you didn’t look back.

You arrived home, the weight of everything still pressing heavily on your chest. The house was quiet, eerily so, as you stepped inside. Your dad wasn’t home yet—he worked late often, leaving you alone to deal with your thoughts. Usually, you welcomed the solitude, but tonight, the silence felt suffocating.

You walked up the stairs and into your room, closing the door behind you as you collapsed onto your bed. The emotions you had tried to keep in check all day came rushing out in an overwhelming flood. The argument with Damian, his harsh words, the way he’d discarded something so small but meaningful—it all weighed so heavily on you.

You curled up on your bed, the tears coming faster than you could control. The hurt burned in your chest, but there was also a deep confusion. You’d never seen Damian like that before—so closed off, so defensive. It made you question whether he really cared at all or if you had misunderstood everything between the two of you.

Just as you were trying to compose yourself, you heard your phone vibrate on your bedside table. You wiped your eyes quickly, trying to get rid of the evidence of your tears before looking at the screen. The caller ID read Damian Wayne.

Your heart skipped a beat as you stared at the phone. You weren’t sure if you were ready to talk to him. After everything that happened, you weren’t sure what to expect from him, but you answered anyway.

“H-Hello?” Your voice trembled, betraying your attempt to sound okay.

There was a long pause on the other end, and you could hear the soft sound of Damian breathing, as if he were struggling to find the right words. Finally, he spoke, his tone filled with genuine remorse. “Y/N, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I was being an idiot.”

You wiped your eyes again, trying to stop the tears, but they kept coming. “You really hurt me, Damian,” you said, your voice breaking as you finally let the emotions spill. “I don’t understand why you threw it away. I thought it meant something to you.”

Damian was quiet for a moment, and then you heard him let out a soft, frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry. I was scared, okay? I don’t know how to… how to handle feelings like that. And I pushed you away. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

You sniffled, trying to get your breathing under control. “Damian… I don’t know what to think. I thought we were getting closer, but then you just—” You choked on your words, the hurt still so fresh.

“I know. I screwed up,” he replied quickly, his voice full of regret. “I don’t want to lose you over something stupid like this. Please, can I come over? I’ll explain everything. I just—I don’t want you to think I don’t care.”

You hesitated for a moment, the conflict swirling inside you. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe that he truly did care and that his actions hadn’t just been a way to push you away. You wiped your tears away, exhaling shakily.

“I… I’d like that,” you said quietly, feeling the sting in your words but also a glimmer of hope. “But I’m not sure what to say, Damian.”

“I understand,” he said, relief clear in his voice. “I just… I need to fix this. I need to talk to you.”

You felt your heart ache as you heard the sincerity in his voice. Despite everything, you knew he was trying. And as much as you were hurt, you couldn’t deny that you still cared about him.

“Okay,” you whispered. “Come over, then.”

“Thanks,” he replied, the relief in his voice almost palpable. “I’ll be there soon. Just… wait for me.”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “I will.”

The call ended, and you sat there for a moment, still reeling from the conversation. You wiped your face again, trying to pull yourself together. Damian was on his way, and maybe, just maybe, he could make things right.

As you waited, you tried to calm your racing thoughts. You weren’t sure what to expect from this conversation, but you knew you needed closure. You couldn’t keep carrying this hurt around, and if Damian was truly sorry, you wanted to hear it. You just hoped it would be enough to heal the rift between the two of you.

The doorbell rang a short while later, snapping you out of your thoughts. You stood up, wiped your eyes one last time, and made your way downstairs. The sight of Damian standing at your front door, looking just as nervous and guilty as you felt, made your heart skip a beat.

He looked at you with a mixture of hope and apprehension as you opened the door. “Y/N…” His voice was softer than usual, almost unsure. “Can we talk?”

You nodded, stepping aside to let him in. “We can talk.”

As he stepped inside, you couldn’t help but notice how his usual guarded demeanor seemed to falter in your presence. It was the first time he looked truly vulnerable, and it made your heart ache with both understanding and a quiet desire to fix things between you.

You led him to your room, where the silence between you hung heavy in the air. Damian sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at you with an earnest expression.

“Y/N,” he started, his voice barely above a whisper. “I really screwed up. I was scared. Scared of getting too close, scared of what it meant. But I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

You sat down next to him, wiping your eyes again, though this time the tears felt different—less full of anger, more full of understanding. “Damian… you’re not the only one scared. I am too. I just don’t want to keep feeling like I’m just some afterthought.”

He reached for your hand, his touch tentative, but warm. “You’re not an afterthought, Y/N. I promise you. I just didn’t know how to let someone in.”

You squeezed his hand, offering a shaky smile. “I just want to be here for you, Damian.”

He nodded, squeezing your hand back, a quiet understanding passing between you both. “I know. I’m sorry. And I’ll do better. I promise.”

For the first time in a while, the tension in your chest started to ease. Damian was here, truly here, trying to make things right. And maybe that was enough—for now.

The conversation had drifted into a comfortable silence after a while. Damian was sitting beside you, his fingers still gently intertwined with yours. His usual guarded demeanor seemed to have melted away, replaced by something more vulnerable, more human. The air between you was filled with a calmness that hadn’t been there earlier, a quiet understanding that you both needed time to process everything, but that you were willing to try again.

“I never really let anyone in,” Damian admitted quietly, breaking the silence. His voice was low, almost tentative. “I didn’t know how. But you… you make me want to try.” He glanced over at you, his gaze soft but sincere.

You squeezed his hand, offering him a comforting smile. “I know. And it’s okay, Damian. I get it. We’ll figure it out together.”

He smiled slightly, but there was still a trace of uncertainty in his eyes. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him to fully open up, and maybe it never would be. But you were willing to be patient, willing to wait for him to let his guard down completely, knowing that when he did, it would be worth it.

After a moment, the conversation dwindled down, both of you content to simply exist in each other’s presence. You felt a heaviness in your eyelids, the events of the day finally catching up with you. It had been an emotional rollercoaster, and now that the tension had eased, sleep seemed like a welcome escape.

Damian, too, seemed to grow quieter, his head resting against the headboard. You turned to look at him, noting how his shoulders had relaxed, and his usual sharp demeanor softened. He looked… peaceful, in a way you hadn’t seen before.

“Damian?” you whispered, not wanting to break the quiet but needing to make sure he was still with you.

“Hmm?” He opened his eyes, looking at you with that familiar intensity, but there was something gentler there, something almost tender.

“Are you… staying?” you asked, your voice still soft but hopeful.

He raised an eyebrow, then glanced toward your bed. “I don’t want to leave. Not right now.” His voice was steady, though there was a slight hesitation to it, as though he was unsure of how he should handle this moment.

You gave him a small, reassuring smile. “You can stay. I—” Your words faltered, but you didn’t want to overthink it. “I don’t mind.”

Damian looked at you for a long moment, his gaze unreadable. Then, without another word, he shifted closer, lying down beside you. His movements were slow, almost as if he wasn’t sure how to navigate this kind of closeness. But then, as if something inside him clicked, he settled in beside you, his body a warm presence next to yours.

For a few moments, neither of you said anything, simply lying there in the quiet of your room. The only sound was the faint hum of the night outside and the steady rhythm of your breaths.

It didn’t take long before the exhaustion from the day hit, and your eyelids grew heavier. Damian, too, seemed to relax further, his tense posture giving way to a more comfortable one.

You didn’t know if you had ever felt this close to him before. The weight of the day’s emotions had been heavy, but now, in the quiet darkness, it felt like everything was finally falling into place.

As sleep began to overtake you, you found yourself pressing closer to Damian, the warmth of his body grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected. You could feel his steady breathing next to you, and somehow, despite all the confusion, the vulnerability, and the hurt of earlier, this felt right.

Damian shifted slightly, his arm coming around you instinctively. His touch was gentle, almost tentative, but it was enough to make you feel safe.

“I’m here,” he murmured quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I won’t hurt you.”

You nodded, your eyes fluttering closed, already beginning to drift off. “I know,” you whispered back, your voice drowsy with sleep. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

And with that, the last remnants of the day faded away as the two of you drifted into a peaceful slumber, the closeness between you a silent promise of something more, something better, to come.

The morning light filtered in through your curtains, gently waking you from a deep sleep. You shifted slightly, stretching and letting out a soft yawn. For a moment, you forgot where you were, but the warmth beside you quickly reminded you.

Damian was still lying beside you, his arm draped over your waist in a way that felt surprisingly natural. His face was relaxed in sleep, the usual tension in his features softened. You smiled, taking in the quiet moment. Everything felt peaceful, the chaos of the day before forgotten in the comfort of this quiet morning.

But just as you were about to drift back into sleep, the sound of the front door opening broke the stillness. A voice—your dad’s voice—called out from downstairs.

“Y/N? You up yet?”

You froze, your heart racing as panic set in. You quickly looked at Damian, but he was still fast asleep, unaware of what was coming. You gently nudged him, trying to wake him without causing too much of a scene.

“Damian,” you whispered urgently. “My dad’s home.”

Damian blinked awake, his eyes adjusting to the light, clearly startled at first. His gaze flickered to you and then to the door, and he seemed to quickly realize the situation. You could see the flush creeping up his neck as he sat up, scrambling for an excuse, but before either of you could say anything, your dad’s voice rang out again, this time louder.

“Y/N? You alright in there?”

You glanced at Damian, quickly muttering, “Just stay calm. I’ll explain.”

Damian’s face reddened even more, but he nodded, and you quickly got out of bed, pulling the blanket over him to hide him from your dad. You walked to the door, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Uh, yeah, Dad. I’m fine!” You smiled, hoping you didn’t sound too guilty. “Just… um, getting ready.”

Your dad’s footsteps grew closer, and you hurried to the bathroom, hoping to avoid any more awkwardness. You heard him pause by your door, and then there was a quiet knock.

“Okay,” he said, his voice filled with that teasing tone he always used when he was being playful. “If you need me, I’ll be downstairs.”

You felt yourself relax as he walked away, heading back to the kitchen. When you turned around, you saw Damian sitting up in your bed, looking thoroughly embarrassed, a hand running through his hair.

“Your dad…” he trailed off, clearly flustered.

You chuckled, feeling the tension break. “It’s fine. He won’t think anything of it,” you assured him, though you weren’t entirely sure yourself. Still, Damian looked like he needed a minute to compose himself.

“Well, that was… awkward,” he muttered, standing up and stretching.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay,” you said, grinning at him. “Besides, he likes you, remember?”

Damian shot you a side glance, his lips quirking upward just slightly. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

After a few minutes, you both went downstairs, finding your dad already sitting at the kitchen table with his coffee. He looked up and gave you a knowing smile.

“Morning, Damian,” he said, casually sipping his cup.

“Good morning, sir,” Damian replied, his voice surprisingly polite as he pulled out a chair to sit down. He was trying his best to act natural, but you could still see the slight redness in his cheeks.

You sat across from him, trying to keep things light. “What’re we doing today?” you asked, eager to distract from any lingering awkwardness.

Damian shrugged, looking out the window. “I don’t know, we could hang out, I guess,” he said nonchalantly. “Just… don’t tell anyone, okay?”

You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

He seemed to catch himself, realizing how it sounded. “I mean…” he trailed off, looking over at you. “We’re just… friends. Right?”

You felt a smile tug at your lips. “Right,” you agreed, trying to make light of his sudden discomfort. “We’re just friends.”

And for the rest of the morning, it felt like old times. You and Damian hanging out, laughing, enjoying each other’s company without any of the tension that had once defined your relationship. You ate breakfast together, joked around, and watched TV until the sound of your phone broke the peaceful mood.

It was a call from Bruce. Damian checked his phone, sighing in frustration.

“Great,” he muttered, his hand rubbing his forehead. “I have to go. It’s Bruce.”

You could tell he didn’t want to leave. He had a frown on his face as he looked at you, clearly conflicted.

“Don’t worry,” you said, standing up and walking over to him. “Go, Damian. You should answer. It’s your dad.”

Damian hesitated but finally nodded, standing up to grab his jacket. “Yeah, yeah… I’ll be back later, I guess.”

As he turned toward the door, you couldn’t help the small smile that played on your lips. Without thinking, you quickly moved toward him. You hesitated for a moment, unsure if it was the right thing to do, but then you stood on your tiptoes and kissed him gently on the cheek.

He froze, his eyes wide in surprise, and you immediately felt a blush creep up your neck.

“Goodbye, Damian,” you said softly, your voice a little shaky but filled with warmth.

Damian stood there for a second, stunned, before his hand reached up to touch the spot where you had kissed him. He gave you a soft, almost imperceptible smile.

“See you soon, Y/N,” he said quietly, before turning and walking out the door.

You watched him leave, your heart racing in your chest. The moment had felt so natural, and yet you couldn’t help but feel a fluttering in your stomach. You knew there were still things to figure out between you both, but for now, it felt like everything was moving in the right direction.

As the door closed behind him, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. You hadn’t expected things to go this way, but deep down, you were glad they had. And you couldn’t wait to see what the next chapter held.

The afternoon drifted by quietly as you and Damian spent time together, the two of you more relaxed than ever. The awkwardness from the past few days had dissipated, and there was something comforting about the way you just were together now. You sat side by side, the hum of the quiet room filling the spaces between the moments.

Damian had an intensity about him, something you had come to recognize over time, but it was different today. He was quieter, his gaze sometimes lingering on you in ways that made your heart flutter. You could feel the change between you both, and while you weren’t sure exactly what it meant, it felt like something meaningful was unfolding.

You were talking about nothing in particular, just enjoying each other’s company when, out of the corner of your eye, you caught him looking at you—his dark eyes focused on you with an almost unshakable intensity.

“Damian…” you began, trying to shake off the way it made you feel, but the words didn’t quite come out the way you intended. “Don’t look at me with those eyes.”

He blinked in surprise, and you could see a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Why?” he asked, his voice soft but laced with curiosity.

You felt your cheeks heat up under the weight of his gaze, suddenly self-conscious. “Because…” You hesitated, trying to put into words what you were feeling. “Because you dazzle me.”

Damian’s expression softened, and his gaze deepened. He turned toward you, his posture shifting so that he was facing you fully now. His voice was quieter this time, almost reverent, as if he too was caught up in something unspoken between you. “You make me whole,” he replied simply.

The words hung between you two, warm and sincere. There was something about the way he said it, something real. It wasn’t just a compliment or a simple exchange; it felt like a truth he had been holding back. You both sat there for a moment, allowing the weight of his words to settle.

You swallowed, unsure of how to respond, but the sincerity in his eyes kept you from looking away. ���I didn’t expect you to say that,” you murmured, barely above a whisper.

Damian’s lips quirked up, and he leaned closer, his gaze never leaving yours. “I don’t say things I don’t mean,” he said, his voice steady and sure. “Not to you.”

You didn’t know how to react, but your heart was racing. For a moment, it felt like the world outside your shared space had disappeared, leaving just the two of you in this quiet bubble where everything was simple and true.

The air between you thickened, and you could feel the unspoken words swaying between you both, but neither of you were rushing. You didn’t need to say anything else for now. There was a mutual understanding, an acknowledgment that the space you shared, however small, was enough.

Damian shifted back slightly, his gaze softening as he looked away for a moment, breaking the intensity. But even in the silence that followed, the connection between you both felt stronger than ever.

“Y/N,” Damian said after a beat, his voice still quiet but with a hint of that usual confidence, “Thank you. For… putting up with me.”

You gave him a soft smile, trying to steady your racing heart. “You’re not as bad as you think,” you replied, playfully nudging him with your elbow.

Damian chuckled, a real sound that surprised you. It was rare for him to let his guard down like that, but it was a moment of peace between you both. And in that moment, you knew that whatever happened next, you were ready to figure it out together.

It didn’t matter that things had been messy or complicated in the past. All that mattered now was that you were here, in this moment, with him. And no matter what, you were going to be okay.

[what-the-actual-wizardry]

DC Creature Commandoes- Trauma vs. Justice (spoilers!)

I just got done binging the current episodes of Creature Commandos, and at risk of painting myself as some sort of high-brow snob, I think the writer, Mr. James Gunn, has done some pretty genius work. Now, I'm no media critic, and not nearly as media-literate as I should be at my age, but I am a trauma survivor; and the thing that I've noticed about this series is that the main cast- Nina, Dr. Phosphorous, The Bride, Weasel, and GI Robot- all have flashback scenes that, while providing a reason for A.R.G.U.S. to imprison them, are far less focused on that than the characters' trauma. Amidst the gore-splattered scenes of carnage, we get flashbacks to the deaths of friends and loved ones, dreams unattained, and in the unique case of The Bride, pursuit by a suitor she does not want. It's all set up in a way that makes us feel bad for the Commandoes- and of course my ever-mounting hatred for Amanda Waller helps in that cause. What it does NOT do is use that trauma to justify their actions. Dr. Phosphorous is pictured to have slaughtered a crime lord and his family, and taking his throne in order to live a life of hedonism. Frankenstein is seen to have killed multiple people he knew and had meaningful relationships with in cold blood, as soon as they became an obstacle to his all-consuming quest for The Bride. The Bride slaughters indiscriminately, and without qualms, making several allusions to the inferiority of human beings (though I'm not arguing with either of her sets of guns- insert obligatory character design nosebleed. Come on, it's tumblr.) The Weasel is capable of no more than base cunning, with his only interactions being comprised of incentivized behavior- play a game, have a treat, act in the interest of more games and treats. None of this is disputed. No attempt is made to justify it. Yes, they killed. Yes, they will again. No, it is not right or good. And in a medium where storytelling so often defaults to 'if there is a reason, it must be justified', it is a breath of fresh air. Being traumatized does not make anyone's actions excusable. The characters are monsters, and the show expertly explores how they got there- what makes a monster in the first place. No amount of past abuse towards a sexual assailant, a neglectful parent, or an unhinged killer can wish away the consequences of their actions. Neither the narrative nor the characters ever once speak up to say 'this isn't fair.' Because it may once have been unfair- but they are not the same anymore, not the victims anymore. Apologies for the essay, my friends! A good evenoonlighting to you all.

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

It’s not an untruth. He doesn’t accept responsibility. He just SAYS he does. And that’s actually a pretty important distinction.

Accepting responsibility means identifying exactly what it is you have done, why it was wrong to do it, and accepting full responsibility without innacurate excuses and justifications. Solas does not do this. He comes up with pretty excuses, and justifications, usually along the lines of “it had to be done and there was no other way”, which aren’t true, and then once he’s justified it and excused it all he’s sad about it anyway. So you can’t be mad at him, he tried his best and he’s so sad it wasn’t enough. Except he didn’t and his sadness doesn’t matter when he could have just done things a better way.

This is extremely important to the plot of the game, because it’s the reason why Rook was able to escape the fade prison and he was trapped in there. Because Rook can honestly say that they tried their best to do the right thing, and when things go wrong they did everything they could to stop it. So when they work through their regrets they can fairly easily move forward, honestly saying they did what they could, and honestly accepting responsibility for the things they’ve done, very few of which are actually bad because they did always genuinely try their best.

Solas can’t do that, because he did not try his best to do the right thing, and there frequently was a better way. To properly work through his regret he would have to acknowledge that he has done terrible things that were not ever justifiable, and he didn’t actually try his best to find the best route available, and actually take full responsibility for the full truth of his crimes, and he will never do that. He knows that’s how the regret prison works, he designed it like that, knowing the evanuris would never do that either. He knows exactly what he needs to do to get out, and he also knows he will never do it. He will never accept responsibility for having done the things he’s done.

What he takes responsibility of isn’t his actions. It’s a carefully constructed, sanitised version of his actions that he can say he takes responsibility of without ever having to actually confront the horrible things he’s done and the complete lack of justifications for them. He reframes things in his head so he doesn’t have to accept the truth.

He “accepts responsibility” for having to be the one to make the heartbreaking choice to kill a traitor so that he could get access to the tools he needed to save the world, when actually what he did was kill his friend mid sentence for disagreeing with him without giving him so much as an opportunity to explain his perspective, then seize the tools being used by the elven resistance so that he could use them for the plans to destroy the world so that one day spirits, the only people he considers to be real people whose lives have value, might be able to once again build neat looking libraries (spirits don’t want him to do this). He accepts responsibility for being “the healer with the bloodiest hands”, when what he’s actually doing is pure destruction to placate his own guilt.

He doesn’t accept responsibility for his actions. He accepts responsibility for made up actions he’s come up with in his head specifically to protect himself from having to acknowledge what he’s actually done and take responsibility for it.

I think a huge factor in people not being able to understand this game is that the game as a whole relies on understanding Solas’ character as written, and people are refusing to understand it

Solas is, and has been since his first appearance, an egotistical, hubristic, racist, manipulative, abusive and condescending asshole who regularly commits atrocities and pretends that being sad about them is enough penance. He is a terrible person who insists he’s actually the hero of the story. He is a liar and a manipulator, and he lies to himself as well. He uses other people like chess pieces and sacrifices them for his cause without much of a thought, and without them even knowing they are being used.

This is who he is. This is who he was always written to be. And veilguard is almost entirely about deconstructing that. Every member of the veilguard is a foil to solas. They are all who he pretends he is, and his false hero fantasy falls apart when you put them next to him.

Every single companion storyline is about that character successfully doing something that Solas is incapable of, but would be capable of if he wasn’t such a terrible person. And they all face a dark reflection of themselves and come out the other side mostly unscathed by that, aware that this dark reflection is not them because they are not actually like that.

Solas faces many of the same challenges the companions do, and fails each and every one of them, because, unlike them, he is not actually a hero. He is not a good person. He does not learn to accept that just because something is broken doesn’t mean there aren’t parts of it worth saving. He does not learn to accept the harsh truths and move forward. He does not accept that he is responsible for his own actions, even if someone else orders them. He fails every time.

Solas faces not one but two dark reflections of himself, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, the prideful god who always thinks he’s right no matter the consequences, and the servant and lover of another god whose atrocities are not justified by having been pushed by their lover and mistress, but does not come out the other side unscathed because it turns out he IS actually like them. His reflections are accurate, they’re real parts of himself that he pretends don’t exist, not just twisted versions of their fears like they are for the companions. At the end of the game he even admits that yes, he is very similar to Elgar’nan.

Pretty much the entirety of veilguard is a very careful and deliberate deconstruction of Solas’ character and self image. We go through, in elaborate detail, all of his crimes, all of his mistakes, all of the reasons why he is wrong, why his actions are unjustifiable, why his regret doesn’t absolve him of responsibility, how he thinks it does anyway.

We completely tear down every single aspect of the image he has constructed for himself. We destroy every single excuse with clear examples showing that that was not how things had to go. Every justification. Every insistence it’s okay because he’s sorry. Every time he insists he knows best and we should leave him to it. Every single illusion that he is a good person is shattered. By the end of it there is absolutely nothing left, and his repeated attempts to keep up the facade come off as pathetic and ridiculous. In all his banters with companions he tries to use his usual tricks, pretty excuses, belittling comments, fake niceties and every time he’s completely shut down.

He tries to imply Davrin has a biased view of him from stories about the dread wolf, Davrin responds with evidence the truth is even worse. He tries to apologise to Harding, she comes back with a list of all the terrible things he’s done that an apology can’t cover. He tries to appeal to spite, spite points out he hurt Rook so why should he trust him. He comes up with excuses for killing Varric and Neve points out that there’s no pretty excuse for using blood magic on Rook in such a cruel way afterwards. The illusion is shattered. That’s what the entire game has been building up to. And it makes his last attempt at betrayal seem embarrassing, because we now see through the facade and know that he was too obsessed with himself to even consider we’d see it coming.

But the thing is a lot of people refuse to see this. This is where his characters been heading since the beginning. This is who he’s always been. But a lot of people ignore any and every negative thing about him, and then complain the game doesn’t make sense. Of course it doesn’t make sense. You’ve ignored every single theme, plot point, and piece of characterisation to make up a version of Solas in your head and that’s not the Solas the game is about. It makes complete sense when you see Solas as he truly is, as he was written to be. It’s such a good bit of writing when you actually let yourself experience it as it is and allow yourself to be open to the idea that the guy who is trying to commit his second genocide might be a bad person.

[oddyseye]

Odysseus does not become a monster by the end of EPIC.

Every single act of violence Odysseus commits is justified. He doesn’t lash out for no reason or lose control of himself like a so-called monster.

First off, let’s talk about Astyanax. Yes, Odysseus feels guilt when he kills him because Astyanax was just a baby. But guess what? It wasn’t Odysseus just deciding to be cruel — it was an order from the gods. Divine will, Jorge. Odysseus doesn’t kill for fun; he does what’s necessary, even when it weighs on him. So no, this doesn’t make him a monster. It makes him a servant of fate.

Now, let’s move to Polyphemus. Odysseus blinds the Cyclops because Polyphemus kills his men. That’s not monstrous, that’s survival. And no, Odysseus doesn’t feel guilt afterward. The only regret he shows is when Poseidon’s wrath makes his life harder. Otherwise, he’s out there flaunting his cleverness, shouting his name, and basically trolling Polyphemus because, guess what? It was justified. Polyphemus attacked first.

Then there’s Circe. Odysseus immediately fights her, beats her, and doesn’t feel bad about it at all. He doesn’t even dwell on it, he just tells her she lost and demands his men back because she turned them into pigs. Again, he’s not out here being needlessly cruel. His actions are justified because Circe started it. End of story.

And let’s not forget the Sirens. Odysseus cuts off their tails and lets them drown without mercy. Harsh? Sure. But they tried to lure his crew to their deaths, so again, justified. He’s not going to waste time mourning monsters that attacked first.

Now, I’ll give you this: the only moment where we can even speculate about guilt is when Odysseus sacrifices six men to Scylla. But let’s be real, what choice did he have? It was either lose six men or lose everyone. That’s not a choice; that’s a tragic necessity. It’s justified because the alternative was total annihilation.

Then there’s Zeus demanding the rest of the crew’s lives because they angered Helios. This is another case where Odysseus doesn’t really have a choice. It’s not like he could fight Zeus. He sacrifices them because the gods demanded it, and as cruel as it is, it’s not on him. Blame the gods, not Odysseus.

And now we get to the suitors. People love to act like this is the moment where Odysseus becomes the monster, but let’s not forget: the suitors planned to kill his son, rape his wife, and steal his kingdom. Killing them was not just justified, it was necessary. He was reclaiming what was his and protecting his family. If he showed no mercy, it’s because they didn’t deserve any. People point out that he uses darkness like Polyphemus in his own palace, traps his enemies like Circe, aims for the torches like Scylla, fights from afar like Poseidon, and denies mercy like all of them. But here’s the thing: even those monsters had justified reasons for what they did. Polyphemus was avenging his sheep, Circe was protecting her nymphs, Scylla and the Sirens attacked to survive, Poseidon was avenging his son, and even Zeus was punishing a wrong against Helios. Another monster who gets justified is Calypso. Calypso has been alone for one hundred years, so it is entirely justifiable that she is incapable of taking no for an answer. And even then, Odysseus does not become a monster. Because when he asks Penelope if she’d fall in love with him again, he’s willing to take no for an answer. That’s the exact opposite of Calypso’s behavior. The whole time, his “he’s becoming a monster” angle is undermined. Like, you wrote a world where every so-called “monster” has a reason for their actions, and suddenly Odysseus is a different beast now? Puh-lease. If Odysseus really became a monster, then he had to be stripped away of all these justifications that force him into morally indefensible actions. I hear most of you will say that him becoming a monster is not really about his actions, and it is all moreso related to the fact he no longer feels guilt. But like, hun, the thing is...Odysseus never even feels guilt for most of the wrongs he does, except like once or twice. That’s...not a shift at the end. It’s always been his way. May I remind everyone that 99% of the atrocities committed during the Trojan War were thought of, planned, and executed by Odysseus without a shred of remorse? That’s who he is. Calculating, strategic, and utterly ruthless when he needs to be.

[silver-soul00]

This is an extremely sensitive post to make because I am going to try yes to dismantle this narrative that someone have about Tyler, but still trying to be somewhat amenable to confrontation.

I had already made posts inherent in the problematic nature of the ship with Tyler and how unsuitable he is as a partner (or in general just impossible for him to have feelings for Wednesday with the information we have now).

“Tyler genuinely smiled after talking to Wednesday.”

A smile is not necessarily a sign of genuineness. Social psychology teaches us that a smile can be used as a tool to manipulate or reassure.

In the context of the series, Tyler proves adept at earning Wednesday's trust through seemingly sincere behavior.

For example, the way he engages her on their “first date” is carefully constructed to leverage her passions and preferences, a classic example of “emotional mirroring,” a manipulative technique that creates an apparent connection.

Obviously, the date was carried out to cheat and remove Wednesday from her room so that Laurel could enter Wednesday's room and carry out the plan (with Thing stabbed I might add)

Moreover, Tyler's smile may reflect personal satisfaction with her success in manipulating her, rather than genuine feelings.

This type of behavior is common in manipulators, who use nonverbal signals to build a false perception of trust and affection.

“He said he liked killing because he was possessed by the Hyde.”

Tyler's statement during interrogation, “I enjoyed it,” cannot be ignored as simply an expression of his Hyde. Although it is true that the Hyde is a monstrous aspect of his personality, the relationship between the “monster” and the human in Tyler is complex.

Studies of individuals with dissociative behavior show that the sense of pleasure felt in negative actions, even under pressure, is often indicative of an at least partially consensual will.

Moreover, the way Tyler expresses himself suggests not distress or remorse, but complacency. This is a sign of moral disengagement, a psychological mechanism in which a person justifies his actions through emotional detachment.

“Wednesday was furious because of betrayal, not because of the murders.”

Reducing Wednesday's anger to personal betrayal alone ignores the depth of her character. Wednesday is motivated by a strong sense of justice, as seen in her constant efforts to uncover the truth and protect others, particularly the marginalized.

Her reaction is a combination of anger at personal betrayal and outrage at the murders committed by Tyler.

The episode in which Eugene is almost killed is emblematic: Wednesday is devastated by the idea of losing a friend to Tyler's senseless violence.

Her guilt and determination to avenge him show that she considers the murders a central issue, not a secondary one.

"He was tortured, drugged, abused to unlock the Hyde”

It is true that Laurel manipulates and unlocks Tyler's Hyde side through cruel methods.

Tyler is a victim of abuse and there is no compromise on that...but once the Hyde is active, Tyler shows that he is a willing participant in Laurel's plans.

There are no signs that Tyler tries to resist or escape his condition.

On the contrary, he fully immerses himself in the role of assassin and enjoys tormenting Wednesday during the scene in the police station.

This kind of behavior is consistent with what the theory of submission to coercive power describes: an individual who is initially a victim can become an active perpetrator if he or she derives benefit or pleasure from the new condition.

“Wednesday is not an angel, she hurt normies and almost tortured Tyler.”

Comparing Wednesday's actions to Tyler's is a classic example of whataboutism, a rhetorical technique that seeks to distract from the actions of one character by highlighting the flaws of another.

Remember that Tyler still harmed and hurt loved ones in Wednesday's

Wednesday's actions, while questionable, are always motivated by a sense of justice or self-defense.

Her extreme behaviors (such as the piranhas in the pool) are directed against people who have done harm, while Tyler targets innocent victims to satisfy his own instincts or to please Laurel.

Wednesday is not perfect but through the series understands when she is wrong or not, such as admiring Wheems only on the finale.

On this point, however, the novel did a better job, where the vigilante mentality is felt more and she thinks so much about the fact that she cares what people think.

“Tyler hated her so much he kissed her and planned a date.”

The argument that Tyler could not hate Wednesday because he kissed her and planned a date is naive. Emotional manipulation often involves seemingly romantic acts to gain the victim's trust.

Tyler exploits Wednesday's feelings to distract her from the truth and to assure her that he is “on her side.”

This is an example of emotional triangulation, a manipulative technique in which the manipulator alternates between affection and betrayal to confuse and control the victim.

"They liked each other and were in a toxic situation, not a toxic relationship"

Tyler and Wednesday's relationship is inherently toxic because it is based on lies, manipulation, and violence.

According to healthy relationship theories, an authentic relationship requires mutual trust, respect and open communication. None of this is present between Tyler and Wednesday.

Their dynamic is defined by a profound inequality: Tyler is in control of information and exploits Wednesday's emotional vulnerability, while she is kept in the dark about her true nature. This asymmetry is the very definition of a toxic relationship.

But in general, this post presents a common narrative that tends to confuse victimization and personal responsibility.

Being a victim does not eliminate personal responsibility

The fact that Tyler was abused, drugged, and manipulated to activate his Hyde is a significant element of his background. However, the psychology of victimization makes it clear that undergoing trauma does not automatically justify all of an individual's subsequent actions.

According to the concept of posttrauma agency, an abused person still has a decision-making capacity, even if it is affected by the trauma suffered.

After his Hyde is activated, Tyler shows no signs of inner conflict or attempts to rebel against Laurel, his manipulator.

On the contrary, he embraces his role complacently, declaring that he took pleasure in killing.

This behavior suggests a conscious choice to indulge his dark nature, despite the Hyde's traumatic origin.

“Wednesday loves murder, so they are meant to be together.”

This statement is based on a superficial understanding of Wednesday's character. Although Wednesday has a fascination with the macabre and a dark personality, she is not motivated by a sadistic pleasure in killing. On the contrary, her actions are guided by a strong sense of justice.

For example:

The piranhas in the pool are punishment for those who bullied his brother.

Her obsession with the Hyde case stems from a desire to protect her friends and other students at Nevermore.

Wednesday never kills without a reason related to justice or self-defense.

Tyler, in contrast, shows a pleasure in committing murder.

This pleasure is completely incompatible with Wednesday's worldview.

Their apparent affinity is superficial: she loves the macabre in an aesthetic and moral sense, while he embraces destructive mayhem without remorse.

The “innocent victim” narrative in social psychology

The idea that being a victim of abuse automatically makes one an innocent person is common, but psychologically incorrect. In reality, traumatized people may develop destructive or abusive behaviors toward others, but this does not eliminate their moral responsibility.

According to the “cycle of abuse” theory, victims of abuse can sometimes become perpetrators, but this does not excuse them from their actions. Tyler is a victim of Laurel, but he becomes an active accomplice in her plan. He shows awareness and pleasure in his actions, which go beyond mere submission to Laurel's control.

The manipulation of Wednesday's emotions.

Tyler not only kills, but also exploits Wednesday's feelings to manipulate her. He presents himself as the sweet, caring guy who tries to understand her, but this mask falls away completely when his role as Hyde is revealed.

The scene in the police station is emblematic:

Tyler humiliates Wednesday with a monologue in which he reveals how easy it was to deceive her.

He shows a complete lack of empathy or remorse, using betrayal as a psychological weapon.

This dynamic is not a basis for a healthy relationship, but an example of emotional manipulation and relational toxicity.

The concept of “meant to be together”

The idea that Tyler and Wednesday are “meant to be together” because they both have a dark side completely ignores the foundations of healthy relationships. According to John Gottman's relationship theories, successful relationships are based on:

- Mutual trust

- Respect

- Honest communication

None of these elements are present between Tyler and Wednesday.

On the contrary, their relationship is based on deception, betrayal, and violence. The fact that Tyler and Wednesday share an interest in the macabre is not enough to build a relationship, especially when this interest manifests itself in completely opposite ways.

Relationships similar to the one hypothesized between Tyler and Wednesday, which are based on dynamics of manipulation, deception, and trauma, are often considered highly problematic.

According to the work of Lundy Bancroft in her book Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men,” relationships in which one partner manipulates the other cannot be considered healthy. Manipulation, such as that displayed by Tyler toward Wednesday, undermines mutual trust and creates an environment of emotional control and abuse.

Healthy relationships require transparency and respect.

Tyler exploits Wednesday's feelings by building a connection based on lies and betrayal.

This type of behavior creates an unbalanced power dynamic in which one partner maintains control by exploiting the other's emotional vulnerability.

Victimization does not excuse toxic behaviors

Abuse cycle theory (Walker, 1979) shows how victims of abuse can develop abusive behaviors, but emphasizes that this does not excuse or justify such actions. Tyler, despite his traumatic past and manipulation by Laurel, demonstrates an active pleasure in killing and manipulation.

Furthermore, a study by McNulty and Fincham (2008) on forgiveness and personal responsibility in relationships points out that:

Suffering trauma does not eliminate personal responsibility for subsequent actions.

Healthy relationships require mutual commitment to avoid destructive behavior, even in the presence of trauma.

Tyler, as far as we have seen, does not show remorse or an attempt to right his wrongs, which makes it difficult to imagine a redemptive relationship with Wednesday.

The importance of equality and respect

According to Gottman's model of successful relationships (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work), relationships flourish when partners share a sense of mutual respect and engage in open communication.

However, in the Tyler-Wednesday dynamic, Tyler exploits an advantageous position by knowing the truth about his identity as Hyde while Wednesday is kept in the dark.

Recall how betrayed Wednesday felt because, thinking placing trust after so long might be good for her, she eventually found herself stabbed in the back

The relationship is based on systematic deception, which makes genuine trust impossible.

Gottman points out that without a foundation of respect and transparency, relationships are doomed to failure or, worse, become toxic.

The idealization of toxic relationships

A study by Knox et al. (2000) on the idealization of toxic relationships in the media shows that romantic narratives involving manipulation and toxicity can negatively influence audience perceptions of real relationships.

Young viewers, in particular, tend to normalize abusive behaviors when portrayed as romantic or inevitable.

In the case of Tyler and Wednesday, the idea that “both are dark and therefore meant to be together” is an example of this idealization:

It ignores the real harm caused by manipulation and violence.

It romanticizes a dynamic that, in real life, would be devastating to the psychological well-being of both partners.

Psychological impacts on victims of manipulation

Studies on victims of emotional manipulation, such as Stark's (2007) in Coercive Control, reveal that relationships such as the one hypothesized between Tyler and Wednesday can lead to:

Chronic distrust: The difficulty of trusting others after such a profound experience of betrayal.

Emotional trauma: Victims of manipulation often suffer from anxiety, depression and a distorted perception of future relationships.

Self-isolation: Wednesday, already naturally inclined to protect her emotions, may further close herself off from the world after being betrayed in such a brutal way. But still in this case we could specify that Wednesday will be even more careful about placing her trust, since right now she trusts Enid and the other Nevermore friends who fought against Crackstone much more

IN CONCLUSION

Remembering that this is yes an analysis but not necessarily a gallows, anyone who appreciates the ship is not necessarily a bad person, you simply have to bring data and sources to the table when you have to discuss and from my perspective rather than romanticize this relationship, it would be more constructive to use their dynamic as a narrative example of how toxic relationships can negatively affect both partners and serve as a warning to recognize and avoid similar dynamics in real life.

Rather create stories where Tyler is not a murderer, Weyler stories like this I would love to read so much

[sainteclectic]

what are your thoughts on hms(w?) having ocd?

ohoho... rubs my hands together...

first of all, all of them struggle with checking compulsions in their own ways, and I'll get into how that manifests! they all have bfrb too - mind picks his skin, heart pulls at his feathers, soul bites his nails, and whole bites his lips. specifics under the cut because this got LONG whoops

heart is superstitious. he just knows something bad will happen if he ends on an unlucky number, if he doesn't wish on 11:11, if he steps on cracks. he refuses to get rid of anything - what if he needs it? what if he can't find it again? what if he accidently gets rid of something important? he walks through the doorway three times. three is a lucky number. did someone throw away that box? better check everything in his room to be safe. he repeats the thirteenth object three times. is he going to die? the thought sticks in his brain. he asks the others, needing reassurance, or it'll just get louder. he memorizes every crack in the house so he doesn't accidently step on one he can't see. he can't find something. he asks them if they moved it. he freaks out if they throw his things away, convinced something horrible will happen to them. get more reassurance. they're annoyed with how much he asks, but it's better than the alternative.

mind's sense of personal responsibility is warped, with him believing it's up to him to do everything right. this leads to him obsessively checking everything is in order - the others are behaving, the books are all in their right place, the doors are locked, check they're behaving again, click the lock again [what if it's broken?], did someone move a book? everything is his responsibility, he has to ensure it's all in working order. he's the only one who can do it. check the stove. never trust the other two to do a good enough job. twist the lock once, twice, three times for good measure. it's irrational. he shouldn't be irrational. reread that text message again. why is he doing this? he can't stop. what if something bad happens if he doesn't? that makes no sense. but what if it's rational the next time he checks, what if he's justified? he's always justified. organize the drawer again.

soul has primarily moral ocd and harm ocd, with some fun religious guilt sprinkled in there for flavor. he obsesses over his morality, over if his actions have hurt anyone {especially during concord, where he's terrified of ruining things}, of if he's making whole proud. he compulsively checks that he's doing the right thing, that heart and mind are safe, and it can get a little overbearing for the other two. he prays. he repeats his prayers three times, just to be safe. he worries he's not close enough to being whole, trying desperately to mimic whole in everything he does. was that what whole would do? go over everything he's done that day, make sure he did everything right. he has thoughts of hurting heart and mind. he sees their violent deaths in his mind. repent. he wonders if he's being selfish. he prays three times, just to be safe.

and whole... whole has a lot of issues when it comes to other people, and since his main coping mechanism is avoidance, it means that he avoids relationships completely. he obsesses over if he's done something wrong, if he hurt someone, if something happened to them. he rereads all his messages over and over to make sure he didn't say anything bad. he goes over the signs that they might hate him in his head. he obsessively checks their activity to make sure they're okay, their posts and texts, spiraling if they haven't said anything in a while. was that the wrong thing to say? did he remember that interaction right? ruminate over their responses. do they still like him? look over their texts to make sure they didn't sound annoyed, go over their last interaction again. it doesn't seem worth it. he hides himself away, hoping that avoiding people will make it go away. it never does.

and of course, they're all convinced that their specific ocd is normal and reasonable while the others are the weird ones. heart is frustrated they never listen to his concerns and they're the stubborn ones, mind is convinced his rituals are the only rational ones and the others are being foolish, soul believes he's inherently Wrong in some way and thus it's reasonable, and whole thinks he's solved the issue by avoiding his issues entirely. something something wow these people are freaks thank god I'm the only normal one here

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

This is interesting commentary, but:

"Despite the exact opposite being the typical fandom perception, early on we learn that Sam tends to define a monster by their features/abilities, while Dean defines a monster by their actions."

I agree that early on Sam tends to think abilities = Monster = Bad, but so does Dean. I also agree that how Sam feels about Monsters/people with an abilities does relate to where he is at in his own personal "freak" journey. However, I don’t agree with the idea that Dean has a nuanced criteria for killing early on. To me, it seems more like early Dean sees ALL monsters as bad, AND humans who behave monstrously are ALSO bad.

(As I am just jumping on a post that came across my dash, I’ll put the rest under the cut. So don’t read on if you aren’t interested my expanding on my take. And no hard feelings if you aren’t.).

It isn’t until after "Bloodlust" in Season 2 that Dean even considers the possibility that a monster might not always be bad. Sam is the one who says, "if they aren’t killing anyone, then they aren’t evil." Dean would have killed the vampires without a second thought if Sam hadn’t stopped him (at first). Dean is shaken at the idea that he might have killed monsters who hadn’t deserved to die, which suggests he hadn’t used any criterion to determine what makes someone a monster other than them being "a literal monster" to justify killing until this episode. Also, Max has powers, which I think Dean basically acquaints with being a monster or monster-adjacent. He’s more inclined than Sam to give Andy the benefit of the doubt, but this is after "Bloodlust," and it’s because if he considers Andy a monster for having mental powers, then he might have to consider the fact that he might have to kill Sam (like John warned him) because of his abilities, too. Dean is terrified when Sam starts having abilities that he will become a monster, despite saying he doesn’t believe Sam could go bad and won’t let that happen.

Also, in "The Benders," the family is hideously monstrous, but other than fighting in self-defense and to save each other, both Sam and Dean seem uneasy with the idea that the cop killed the human man who killed her brother once he’d been disarmed. It seems here that both brothers still have some hang-ups on killing even evil humans.

Also, fandom tends to aquate Sam with being the one who usually has more empathy for monsters, or the one less likely to kill somone just because they are a monster … because it’s been shown over and over. His mantra practically became, "it’s not who you are, it’s what you do that matters." Though, it is a lesson he learns after a ton of hardship. In "The Purge," Dean wants to kill the "Fish Taco" who has killed and harmed no one because her brother was a killer. He also is upset that Sam wants them to be "all business" and not family at this time, so one could even argue that Deans empathy comes from his relationship with Sam (he also has the mark here, already, I know).

Also, Sam trusted Ruby, or semi-trusted her, as early as Season 3. He was proven wrong for trusting her even though she helped them countless times, and pulled him back from committing suicide. With Benny, he sees another monster who helped support and save a Winchester, and who appears to be trustworthy … but what if he isn’t? Sam was wrong to trust Ruby, so there is the worry that maybe Dean is also wrong to trust Benny. Add this to Dean killing Amy and Dean literally saying Benny has never let him down (implying Sam has, thus he’s a better brother than Sam), and that’s why Sam hated Benny.

Aneyay, I think who the brothers see as monsters, and whether the person/monster is should be trusted, worthy of mercy or not, often depends more on what they are projecting about themselves or their brother and less on having a set criteria for whether people should be considered monsters or desrve killing.

omg i just finished your emma vs amy takes and the subsequent discourse about it (which was so refreshing to see btw!! love it when adults can be Adults and argue about the topic without insulting the other person) and I might get fried for this but that incident aside, do you have any other scene/episode in mind where sam reacts the same way or does the same thing?

(im sorry if this isn't your cup of tea for asks! your takes have been Enlightening)

You mean another situation where Sam shoots a person with supernatural abilities who hasn't shed blood and has a sympathetic backstory without giving them a chance? Not as overtly—Benny in season 8's "Citizen Fang" certainly comes to mind, but even Benny, Sam at least made a show of giving a chance by assigning Martin to keep tabs on him and make sure he didn't do anything wrong before trying to kill him. (Though whether there was conscious or subconscious sabotage involved when Sam chose Martin specifically—someone he knew to be mentally unstable—is certainly a good question given Sam had already made death threats about Benny before then.)

The fact that Sam's behavior in 7.13 "Slice Girls" is pretty unique is really what I want to point out about this episode in the first place—that Sam's actions in "Slice Girls" are inconsistent with his previous behavior and future behavior as far as "good" monster episodes. We can turn to examples such as:

1.14 where Sam insists they try and talk Max down instead of killing him, because Max's murders are a result of extensive abuse.

Lenore and her nest in SPN's seminal "monsters can be good" episode (2.03)

Sam thinking Andy is responsible for the killings in 2.05 but still waiting for proof before acting.

2.09 where Sam insists they not kill someone they think might be infected with Croatoan virus before he turns and tries to kill them because that doesn't give him a chance.

Two episodes where Sam faces off against Gordon because Gordon wants to kill him before Sam kills someone (2.10, 3.07)

2.17 where Sam and Dean search for a cure for Madison, who is not aware that she has been killing people.

4.04 Metamorphosis where Sam is the one who takes the initiative to research Rugarus, learns that they can survive without giving into their urges, and insist they go and talk to him about how his body is changing (lol) so he has the chance to fight the urge to kill and eat people.

5.06 where Sam and Dean oppose Cas who wants to kill Jesse, who is a child who is not aware that he has powers and is hurting people.

6.02 where Sam, even soulless, recognizes the innocence of a shifter baby.

Then we have Amy and Emma in 7.03 and 7.13 respectively.

8.04 where the brothers let Kate the Werewolf go because she was turned against her will and killed the man who turned her in self-defense.

8.09 Citizen Fang (already discussed)

I'm getting lazy but then we also have Magda and Jack Kline—both children with powers, one severely abused, the other the son of the devil with uncontrolled explosive powers that could end the world, both of whom Sam attempts to help work with their abilities.

Dean has a more structured series of personal "rules"—a litmus test we see from the very beginning—one Sam often follows as well, but I'm not sure Sam ever really fully grasps that Dean thinks this way.

Has this person hurt or killed anyone?

Was it on purpose or was it outside of their awareness?

If it wasn't on purpose, are they capable of learning to control their urges?

We see this code as early as 1.12 "Faith":

SAM Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy. DEAN Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is.

Dean applies the same reasoning in 1.14 with Max:

SAM These visions, this whole time -- I wasn't connecting to the Millers, I was connecting to Max! The thing is I don't get why, man. I guess -- because we're so alike? DEAN What are you talking about. The dude's nothing like you. SAM Well. We both have psychic abilities, we both... DEAN Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people, now he's gunning for a third.

Despite the exact opposite being the typical fandom perception, early on we learn that Sam tends to define a monster by their features/abilities, while Dean defines a monster by their actions. We see the same with Amy—she is "a monster who killed four people" (7.07) . She isn't a monster because of what she is but because of what she did. This again—is also why Dean doesn't even consider killing her son right after her kid swears to kill him one day. We see Dean, in the rare cases where it comes up, is also perfectly fine with taking out human serial killers they stumble across (ex: Thin Man).

Sam will also kill a human serial killer at times (and murderous witches by 3.09), but he reserves the word "monster" to describe individuals with supernatural features/abilities... and I think the fact that Sam's definition of the term differs from Dean's is something neither brother ever fully realizes about the other, leading at several points to arguments where they are talking past each other and do not understand one another. Sam hears "monster" and thinks "Dean is talking about me", when Dean is operating under a completely different definition of the term that is based on the actions of a person.

When Sam is in a headspace where he is thinking of himself as one of those monsters, he shows increased or lessened sympathy in turns. For example, he assumes Andy's guilt in 2.05 because he is panicked about becoming evil himself and is comparing the two of them (but again—still waits for confirmation) but his sympathy for Max in 1.14 comes from the same comparison with himself. Sam completely misrepresents Amy in 7.03 as an addict who relapsed but more generally is "managing", as a way to compare her with himself... when Amy didn't feed on anyone herself and her actions have absolutely nothing to do with addiction or battling "monstrous urges".

I've been bitching and moaning a lot, but I will reemphasize that there is a more sympathetic reason that Sam shoots Emma—Sam and Dean are both crowding up to the diving board at the deep end of the pool in season 7. Dean's grieving and is drinking extremely heavily to cope and Sam is hallucinating. They are both unraveling at the seams. Neither of them is in a place where they trust the other's judgement because they both know themselves and each other to be unstable. So if we imagine a reality where Sam and Dean give Emma a chance, and it doesn't take, Sam assesses himself and Dean to be in no mental state to cope with a potential surprise attack. It's just that Sam also erroneously compares Amy and Emma when they are not the same, and by doing so, frames Dean wanting to spare Emma but killing Amy as hypocrisy (because they are both "monsters") when Dean's actions are perfectly consistent with his personal ethical code and his definition of a "monster"... and Sam's actions aren't.

[vidavalor]

Today, if you're discussing actions taken to try to prevent against the effects of possible future negative actions, you're talking about insurance. Up until an estimated sometime in the late 16th/early 17th centuries, though? You wouldn't have referred to this as insurance, even though that word also existed at the time.

For most of history, the word for what we today refer to as insurance was actually assurance.

The two words come from some very similar-sounding French root words. Adding to the confusion, the root words of insurance-- enseurer/enseurance-- actually also meant assurance, but in the sense of a guarantee or a serious promise.

Assurance also originally meant self-confident in an unappealing way, which, along with the general confusion of the similar-sounding words, is thought to be one of the big reasons why assurance fell out of fashion as a word, paving the way for insurance to eventually take over the main, original meaning of assurance.

So, why the two different words in the first place, especially when both of them were rooted in words relating to promises relating to safety and security?

Because while assurance originally meant what we'd consider insurance today, insurance originally exclusively meant a different kind of promise...

The word insurance originally referred to what we'd call a marriage engagement today.

"If it all goes wrong, I want insurance" takes on an additional layer when you consider that Crowley and Aziraphale have been on Earth since the beginning and frequently communicate using etymology (word history) to code their speech in public for safety, as they were also doing in other parts of this very same scene. They both absolutely know the original meaning of insurance.

From what Crowley said in 1862, it's clear that there hadn't exactly been a formal proposal by 1862... how could there have been, really, considering that was some 'if both the human world and the supernatural world ever were to change' pipe dream at the time?... but there was a romantic partnership with a shared understanding that, if they ever could? They would.

They'd turn The Arrangement/The Agreement into The Engagement in a heartbeat if ever things changed and they safely could.

Crowley was clearly not doing well in the 1862 scene, though...

Crowley was really seeking reassurance as much as he was seeking insurance in the modern sense. He wanted the holy water as insurance (modern meaning)-- as protection against Hell-- and he wanted it for their informal insurance (historical meaning)-- to keep the two of them safe.

While Crowley wanting holy water was a surprise to Aziraphale, Crowley's subtle reference to his and Aziraphale's understanding being akin to one of the original kind of insurance was far from a shock to Aziraphale. Neither of them were batting an eye over Crowley's dual-layered use of the word insurance.

Aziraphale just also knew that they were in the park and that ducks have ears, as Crowley himself had pointed out a moment earlier. This was too dangerous a place for this conversation and that Crowley tried to have it here showed how much he was struggling, which just validated even more Aziraphale's hesitation and fear.

Aziraphale knew that holy water could kill Crowley and it's not hard to see why he'd be reluctant to give his obviously anxious and depressed partner the supernatural equivalent of a gun.

Especially when Crowley's PTSD was so bad in that moment in 1862 that he was demonstrably reactive in public to Aziraphale's attempt to keep anybody from listening to realize that they're a couple. Crowley's response just makes it all the more obvious that they are one.

Crowley's inability to have enough situational awareness in the moment to realize or care that he's putting them at risk while simultaneously being (in this case, justifiably) paranoid about them being overheard and asking Aziraphale for the dangerous thing that he's convinced himself will make him feel the safety that he's struggling to feel is a very PTSD thing. It speaks to high levels of unmanaged anxiety.

Even having this conversation in the park and not the bookshop was self-sabotaging on Crowley's part. There's an argument to be made that not doing well to a point that he's semi-consciously trying to push Aziraphale away by putting Aziraphale in a no-win situation in a place where their ability to fully discuss it in the moment is impacted by their lack of privacy.

Crowley was being self-destructive and was putting them at risk as a result, basically proving himself probably too unstable in that era to have holy water in the first place.

What he truly wanted was reassurance that Aziraphale was going to stay with him. Doubting that was the anxiety talking. Aziraphale wouldn't have had to give any indication that he was not going to do so and there's no indication that he was going to leave Crowley. I'd imagine he felt the exact opposite of that and Crowley really, at the core, knew that. PTSD and anxiety can cause levels of self-doubt and make it difficult for a person to trust their assessment of things, as we see with Crowley's struggles to trust himself and others when it comes to things like Gabriel and The Book of Life in S2.

Fundamentally, Crowley knows that Aziraphale loves him but, in 1862, he could have been experiencing a lot of anxiety, self-doubt, and feelings of shame related to the aftermath of 1827, and have really been seeking out reassurance that Aziraphale-- who had already really proven this by sticking through thousands of years with Crowley-- wouldn't leave him... even as he tried very hard to push him away.

It's not rational but emotions-- particularly, trauma-born ones-- aren't always rational. The holy water situation in 1862 is also one triggering Aziraphale's own fears that Crowley will leave him-- will one day go out the door and not come back, either from something they cannot control or because he's decided it's too much for him to endure anymore.

When both people are triggered, it's hard to really talk and even harder to really listen, and someone storming off for awhile is probably inevitable.

But it's not forever. When things calm down, it becomes easier to see what one another was saying, what it was that they really meant, and what they need.

[calliecopper]

Ian Gallagher Being His Own Person, and Why That's Controversial

A meta about Ian's story during his time away from Mickey, and the hate his character receives for it. Inspired by @dazzle02 :)

How many times have you heard somebody say that they skipped season 8 of Shameless because Mickey wasn't in it? How many times have you heard somebody say that season 7 is only good during Mickey's episodes, or that the story is boring without Mickey in it, or that Ian's S6-8 arc was boring without Mickey? How many times have you heard somebody proclaim that Ian wasn't a good partner to Mickey?

Mickey is undeniably THE fan favorite character of the show, and with that comes a tendency for fans to defend him tooth and nail, even when he is in the wrong, and refuse to see any other points of view. Characters who go against Mickey in any way receive a harsh amount of criticism that sometimes is not fully justified. This applies even to Mickey's main connection to the story: Ian.

During season 5 and onward, some fans hold Ian's actions against him very harshly when I feel he deserves a bit more empathy. Of these, there are three main things people criticize his character for during seasons 5, 6, and 7 that I feel are not given proper analysis and thought by fandom.

Disclaimer before we get in because people feel very passionately about these two: Every interpretation of a character is entirely unique to each individual viewer, and these are just my opinions. This is in no way an anti-Mickey post, so as you read, keep in mind that any criticism toward him is not meant to make him out to be a bad character. Don't bite me.

Season Five: The Breakup of All Time

I think a large part of why people get so upset with Ian for the breakup is because of the growth Mickey experienced in seasons 4-5 leading up to it.

Mickey in seasons 1-3 is in extreme denial of being gay, and when he grows feelings for Ian, he lashes out and treats Ian like shit. Seeing Mickey's slow growth starting in season 3 brought interest to his character, and in season 4 with his major growth during his coming out, he becomes very compelling to a viewer. After all the angst that it took to get Mickey to finally open up, there's a natural desire to see that positive growth and relationship development continue. When Ian throws a wrench in that by breaking up with Mickey in season 5, people get upset, and they're going to direct that toward Ian because he is the easiest to blame.

There's the sentiment of, "Mickey came out for Ian, took care of Ian, and supported Ian when he needed him most despite his faults. Why is Ian leaving Mickey in the dust when he now needs him most?"

This is honestly not an unreasonable thing to feel when looking at things from Mickey's perspective.

But, when you take a look at Ian's character, and you really think of his motivations in that moment, his decision to break up is actually very understandable. Ian didn't break up with Mickey because he thinks Mickey is a bad partner or because he doesn't love Mickey enough. He broke up with Mickey because he thought that's what was best FOR Mickey.

I think comparing the breakup to their fight over marriage in season 10 to be an effective way to understand Ian better.

In season 10:

"How do you know you love me? Huh? How do you really know? I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next, and I can't guarantee shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

- Ian to Mickey, S10E9

Compare this to this conversation during the breakup:

"You used to love me. Now you don't even know who I am. Shit, I don't know who I am half the time... You don't owe me anything."

"I love you."

"The Hell does that even mean?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

I feel that Ian's mindset is pretty similar in these two moments. In season 5, he is still grappling with his diagnosis, and he has no frame of reference of how a healthy life with bipolar can look. Everybody has been comparing him to Monica, and he himself seems to oscillate between thinking he is like her and not like her, so in his mind, he has nothing to offer anymore.

Then, in season 10, in his mind he proved himself right. He tried to get his shit in order, lived happily and found peace with his diagnosis, and then he fucked it up. He had an episode, and he lost everything he fought so hard to have. He has practically ruined his life because he DID what he FEARED he would:

"I hate the meds. You gonna make me take 'em?"

"You get fucking nuts when you don't."

"Are you gonna want to be with me even if I don't?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12

That conversation isn't Ian saying he isn't going to take his meds, given how in season six, he IS taking his meds. I interpret his above statement to be a warning to Mickey. Because Monica has tried to get on her meds before, has tried to get better, and has failed many times. IAN has gone off his meds willingly twice now. This is him telling Mickey, straightforward, "I do not like the meds, and there will always be a risk of me deciding not to take them."

And in seasons 8-9, he does exactly that. He goes off his meds, and he destroys everything he built for himself. That's part of the reason why he hesitates to marry Mickey in season 10, and part of the reason he breaks up with Mickey in season 5.

Ian views himself and his disorder to be a burden on the people he loves. He believes that Mickey will be better off without him.

"I don't want you sitting around, worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit."

- Ian to Mickey, S5E12

Because Mickey HAS been doing that. Ever since he was diagnosed, Mickey has been watching Ian like a hawk, acting like a nurse, which frustrates Ian.

"Fuckin' nurse now?"

[...]

"I'm sick of your whiny, pussy crap. I don't need a fucking caretaker, alright? I need the shit-talking, bitch-slapping piece of Southside trash I fell for. Where is he? The fuck is he, Mickey?"

- Ian to Mickey, S5E10

But, of course, Mickey doesn't see it that way. To Mickey, Ian is anything but a burden he wants to unload.

"It means we take care of each other. [...] It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit."

- Mickey to Ian, S5E12.

Mickey would do anything for Ian. He confronted his worst fear by coming out, stayed with Ian even after the infidelity, defended Ian after he kidnapped his son, and tried his best to understand a mental illness he had no prior knowledge about. Yet, Ian still won't commit to him. After everything, he still isn't good enough.

"I'm not saying never!"

"No, you're just saying you don't love me enough now."

- Ian and Mickey, S10E9

And Ian, meanwhile, thinks that HE isn't good enough for MICKEY. He has been diagnosed with a lifelong condition, one that he has seen ruin lives firsthand, something that will be a part of him for the rest of his life, and he doesn't wanna tie Mickey down to that life.

It's all one massive miscommunication.

Finally, I think the part that is the most confusing to fans regarding Ian's mindset during the breakup stems from his moments with Monica in S5E11 and S5E12.

Specifically, the parallels between these two conversations.

"Ian, there's always gonna be people that are gonna try and fix us. And you can never make those people happy. Like it breaks their heart just to look at you."

"Yeah, um, even Mickey now."

"He's your boyfriend, right? [...] I'm sure he means well, but you need to be with people who accept you for who you are. And they're out there. You should never apologize for being you."

- Monica and Ian, S5E11.

Vs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Too much! Too much is wrong with me. That's the problem, isn't it? Too much is wrong with me, and you can't do anything about that. You can't change it. You can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E12.

Monica's interpretation of the relationship seems to paint Mickey in a negative light. "He means well, but he doesn't get it," or something along those lines. Based on her previous experiences with the diagnosis, she has come to the conclusion that people like Mickey or Fiona, who try to get them to take medication and are saddened by the diagnosis, are being controlling, and do not love them for who they really are. That's why she always went back to Frank; he actively tried to get her to NOT take her meds or get better, and did not encourage her when she DID try to get better. So, to her, being off her meds IS the TRUE version of herself, and the people who can not accept that do not accept her.

But I think, while Ian's lines parallel Monica's, that he does not think the same way that she does.

Toward the end of season 5, Ian seems to do a complete 180 from his previous statements on his similarities with Monica.

"You flushed your pills? You get thats a full-on Monica move, right?"

"I'm not Monica."

- Ian and Fiona, S5E8

Vs.

" [...] Cause they all say how alike we are."

"That's probably not a compliment."

"Uh... No, I think it is."

- Ian and Monica, S5E11

This happens in the wake of his arrest, after Ian's siblings talk about him to the military police. Many of their comments seem to hit Ian in a way that makes him feel misunderstood or like a burden.

Debbie: But he's been acting crazier for longer than that.

Lip: Yeah, at least this past year.

Officer: How would you characterize his behavior?

Debbie: Compared to how he used to be... He's different.

Lip: He'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed, to, you know, incredibly wound up. I mean, he ran off with a baby for no reason.

Debbie: He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.

Fiona: Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like. She put us through Hell, and- I'm not saying you put us through Hell, but when they're manic they can be destructive.

Officer: In your opinion, does he require medication?

Fiona: Yes.

Officer: Is he unable to care for himself?

Fiona: Sometimes, yes.

So, when Ian talks to Monica when they reconnect, Ian expresses loneliness and a feeling of isolation.

"I'm really glad you came, yknow? I just... I needed someone to talk to who... gets it."

- Ian to Monica, S5E11

When Monica tells Ian to not be ashamed and that she loves him for him, she is kind of acting like his Frank. The meds have been taking a toll, and recovery is so difficult that running with her and getting validation from the only other person who could "get it" is an easy choice to make. I think the combined factors of Mickey treating him so delicately, his siblings laying out his flaws so plainly, and his mother's open acceptance creates a feeling of bitterness or shame, and Ian is hoping to find comfort in his mother.

But it doesn't go the way he expects it to.

At the diner, he thinks that Monica is going to prostitute herself for money, and is relieved when she doesn't. It's likely he was thinking of his own stint at the Fairytale in this moment.

Then, he recalls a moment from his childhood that he does not look upon fondly, only for Monica to refer to it as "good times."

He meets Monica's partner and discovers he is an aggressive teenage meth dealer that she is helping to sell the meth.

I think Ian has a true moment of clarity during this. He had thought that he was vindicated, that everybody else was wrong, that they didn't understand, that Monica was right, and that he was perfectly fine just the way he was. But then he sees what Monica considers to be "a happy life."

"Ian, I'm finally happy. People like us, we can be happy. I love him, and that's the most important thing, to find somebody to love, right? Who loves you back for who you are. I want that for you. I love you. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

- Monica to Ian, S5E12.

Monica's perception of life is warped. What she considers a good life is living in a trailer selling meth. Good memories are traumatic memories for those around her. True love and support is an aggressive teenage dealer, or Frank Gallagher.

A simple drive to Ian was a horrifying kidnapping to Svetlana. Doing a porn that was no big deal to Ian was a betrayal of trust to Mickey. Joining Monica and ignoring the calls of his well-meaning but ignorant family to Ian was a painful and worrisome disappearance to them. Ian's perception HAS been warped, and he's crashing back to reality, realizing that he has run off with MONICA, realizing that he can't continue down the same path as her, and needs to go home.

He's come to accept that he is bipolar. He's internalized what his family has kept repeating, that he is just like Monica, and looking at her living like this, believing that she is living well, is terrifying to him.

So he goes home, believing that he is just like his mother, and he's doomed to be a piece of shit. He goes back, and he breaks up with Mickey. Because he doesn't think that people like him can be happy, and he doesn't think he'll be okay. And that isn't something that Mickey can change. Too much is wrong with him, and Mickey can't do anything about it.

Really, it's just a matter of Ian operating under the "if you love them, let them go" mindset, and Mickey interpreting it as a rejection. It's the two of them both believing they are not good enough for the other and internalizing it instead of properly communicating.

TL;DR: Ian's breakup with Mickey in S5E12 is not done in a healthy OR selfish mindset. To him, he will do nothing but drag Mickey down, and in his unmedicated and clearly altered state of mind, he thinks the best thing is to let him go.

Season Six: Dating Caleb and Other Blasphemy

The first time we see Mickey in season six, it's behind a pane of glass in an orange jumpsuit.

Mickey had tried to murder Sammi, Ian's half-sister, and had been sentenced to prison for 15 years. It's established that Ian has not been to visit Mickey much and is trying to move on past that time in his life. But, upon being bribed by Svetlana, Ian visits, and during this visit Mickey asks Ian a question:

"You gonna wait for me?" - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

And when Ian shows hesitation:

"Fuckin' lie if you have to, man, eight years is a long time." - Mickey to Ian, S6E1.

So, Ian replies:

"Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I'll wait." - Ian to Mickey, S6E1.

Before even meeting Caleb, fans absolutely tear into Ian for his decision to not commit to Mickey in this moment. They call it selfish, or out of character, or unfair to ice Mickey out when he is going through this difficult time.

But, let's look at it from Ian's position.

Ian has dealt with abandonment issues his entire life, with both Monica and Frank being unstable and infrequent providers during his adolescence. Throughout his relationship with Mickey, they had been separated on three separate occasions, one of which was entirely voluntary on Mickey's part. Now, due to committing a major crime, Mickey has been sent away for up to fifteen years. They would both be in their thirties by the time Mickey would be released, or close to it if he got out early, and that's not even considering that he was actively taking part in jobs / activities that could extend his sentence, like stabbing people.

Ian has dealt with recurring disappointment and abandonment his entire life, and throughout their time together, Mickey hasn't really established himself as stable.

Now, before you bring out the pitchforks;

"But Mickey was there for Ian and supported him through seasons 4-5. He grew as a person and proved he IS reliable."

Yes, that's true. He did undergo massive development that allowed him to be a better partner and more reliable person to Ian. But, canonically that period of time only takes place over a few months.

Mickey, for the better part of 2-3 years, was NOT a good partner to Ian. Multiple years of an unsteady situationship is not so easily forgotten. Yes, Mickey 1000% had valid reasons for acting the way he did. It's made very clear in S3E6 and S4E11 why Mickey hides his sexuality and lashes out when forced to confront it. But that isn't an excuse. His reasons for acting in a negative way towards Ian the first three seasons is understandable, but he went about it in a bad way.

Not to mention that, despite his growth, Mickey has just been sent to PRISON. No matter how you spin it, his decision to go after Sammi was NOT justified and does not necessarily bring forth confidence in his reliability and stability.

It's not unreasonable for Ian to not want to wait for over a decade for a man who has not always been the best for him. It sucks as a viewer who is invested in them, but Ian was not in the wrong.

Beyond (justifiably) selfish reasons, Ian also already thought that he was bad for Mickey, was worried that he would ruin his life, and with Mickey's justification for his torture attempt being that he did it FOR Ian, that Sammi had it coming because of what she did TO Ian, Ian probably felt responsible for that as well. There was probably a level of guilt in Ian from the whole situation, both for Mickey being in prison and for leaving him there.

But from his point of view, it's better for everybody to try and move on.

What really bothers me about this criticism toward Ian is the sense that he OWED Mickey his time and loyalty. Because Mickey had given and sacrificed so much for Ian during seasons 4-5, it's like people think Ian is then obligated to return that for Mickey, no matter what Mickey did. It's a very transactional way to view the situation, and it just leaves me with an icky taste in my mouth. Nobody owes anybody anything in that situation. Ian does not owe Mickey companionship, and Mickey did not owe Ian support when he got put in prison in season 9. Returning to Ian was Mickey's decision to make, and not a decision Ian was obligated to make in season 6.

Now, onto the actual "dating other people" part of the conversation.

For months, Ian has done nothing but get his meds on track while working at Patsy's, then at the janitors job on Lip's campus. During this time, Ian expresses having a very low sense of self-worth.

"He as smart as you?"

"No."

"Yeah, he's smart."

"Lip is the genuis of the family."

"So that gives you an excuse for not finishing [high school]? You seem plenty smart, and Dav's uniform doesn't really suit you."

- Ian, Lip, and Professor Youens, S6E3

And:

"This is it for me, Lip. This job. This is where I land."

- Ian to Lip, S6E3

Which Lip comments on in a very concise way:

"Yknow, he thinks... Being bipolar means he's doomed to be a piece of shit like our mother."

- Lip about Ian, S6E3

Ian feels no sense of purpose during these months. He feels he has no worth and that he is doomed to work a dead-end job and have no happiness. He thinks he is just like Monica.

That only changes when he witnesses an accident on the highway, and he saves a woman's life by pulling her out of a burning car.

This leads us to Caleb.

Now I'll admit, this is where I take issue with the storytelling, because this would've been a PERFECT way to segue into Ian's EMT arc, but regardless of what I personally think would've been better, the way it plays out in canon does actually still make sense for Ian's character.

After saving the woman from the burning car, Ian collapses due to smoke inhalation and exhaustion. A firefighter on the scene provides Ian with oxygen, thus saving his life. Ian immediately fixates on this particular firefighter.

Now, Ian has a very complicated relationship with feeling his emotions post his diagnosis. In season five, when he is numbed by his meds, the only way for him to feel again is through pain, via self-harm or starting physical fights, and sex. In fact, sex plays a major part in many aspects of Ian's life.

From the age of fifteen, Ian had been consistently subject to sexual abuse. He's been used for his body by countless men throughout his teenage years and has been oftentimes reduced merely to his sexuality and what he can provide to his partner. Even Mickey, in season 2, tells Ian as such in a panicked rage.

"You think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me."

- Mickey to Ian, S2E8.

(No, I'm not saying Mickey sexually abused Ian. But he did contribute to the way we see Ian default so heavily to objectifying and sexualizing himself.)

So, due to this recurring trauma, Ian has a tendency to default to sex as the primary way of getting satisfaction, be it emotional or physical.

So, when Ian gets a rush of adrenaline from the crash, after months of that numbness, he chases the emotions in the most effective way he knows how.

Ian goes to the firehouse with cookies to give as thanks to the firefighter who saved him, but with a clear ulterior motive of getting laid. When he finds out that the particular firefighter (who happens to be part of the "gay shift" which is an odd writing choice) he saw on the highway is married, Ian meets Caleb. In this scene, they speak all of one line to each other when Caleb invites Ian to a firehouse softball game. The next time we see them on screen together, Ian acts very flirtatious toward Caleb, which sets forth their relationship.

"You ever pitch?"

"... Usually, but I'm open depending on what you're into. Where we doing this?"

"Follow me."

[...]

"Wait, we're actually playing softball?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

I think Ian receives hate for this simply because he's expressing interest in a guy that isn't Mickey. Fans get the impression that Ian is moving on too fast or that his interest in Caleb is sudden or rushed. However, I think the rushed nature actually works to show Ian's intentions. In this moment, Ian is not really looking for a full-on relationship. Given how little they interacted thus far, the fact that Caleb wasn't even who Ian was originally interested in, and how Ian's comments consistently err on the side of sexual, its safe to say Ian was just looking for a hookup. In fact, it's Caleb who pushes so hard FOR the relationship.

Mickey, in a deleted scene, hooks up with an inmate right after talking with Ian. If Ian's relationship with Caleb had only been a fling or hookup, I don't think Ian would've been as heavily criticized. As it is, fans get upset at this relationship because it IS a relationship. They go on dates, Ian starts staying with Caleb, and really they seem to be very domestic.

But I don't think Ian was as dedicated to the relationship with Caleb as fans make him out to be.

From the jump, Ian seems uncomfortable with the quick-moving pace of it. At first he only seems interested in sex with Caleb, but upon the negative reaction that provokes, Ian conceded to going on a date with Caleb (which is a bit of a slap in the face to Mickey fans after Gallavich's ruined date.)

"[...] I was hoping to get my hands on your hose."

"Is that what this is to you? A fuck?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing. Come on, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

"Fuck. Okay. Okay. Hey, I'm into you, alright? I thought you were into me."

"I am."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't stick my dick in just any guy."

"What do you want, then?"

"Seriously? Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Yeah."

"A date."

"With, like, flowers and chocolate and shit?"

"No, we could skip the flowers."

"Okay. You're on."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5

(Side note, pulling a "is that all this is to you" after two non-romantic interactions is not just quick in terms of hookup culture, which Ian is more attuned to, but is quick in any terms. More on that later.)

During this date, Ian is visibly very uncomfortable. Some would chalk this up to him having never been on a date before, and the writing even seems to imply that,

"Okay, look, I have no idea what I'm doing. My last boyfriend wasn't much of a talker, his idea of a conversation was to insult me a bunch and then punch me right before we banged."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E6

but that's actually not true, DESPITE the writers forgetting that.

"You know, Mickey and I never went out on dates. Ned never took me out, Kash and I fucked in the back of a convenience store, and I don't think jerking off strangers in a nightclub counts, so..."

- Ian to Lip, S6E6.

He actually HAD gone out on a "date" with Ned in season three, where he was visibly less uncomfortable than on his date with Caleb. He also went to many loft parties during his time dancing at the club, wherein he blended in very well and was able to sorta chameleon himself with the northside crowd. I think the show wants us to believe his discomfort is from him "never having been on a date before" or being unfamiliar with a "slower" pace, but I think his discomfort actually would stem from him just genuinely not being interested in Caleb in a romantic way, and thus feeling awkward on a date that's in a more romantic setting (compared to his one with Ned, which was undoubtedly more sexual.)

I also think his discomfort stems from being completely out of his element. Ian has taken a massive hit to his confidence since his diagnosis, so his Southside roots bring about a bit more hesitancy in him than it might have before, and he may be less confident in his ability to chameleon. That's why, during the date, Ian shows discomfort with Caleb when he shows more "class" than Ian.

"Usually, I get a bunch of apps to share. You good with that?"

"[Uncertain hum] ... Appetizers! Sure, yeah, big- big fan of apps."

[...]

"You seem like a very pensive kinda guy. You an only child?"

"Uh, no."

"Brothers and sisters?"

"A bunch, yeah."

"Older or younger?"

"Both."

"What about your parents? Both still alive?"

"... Yeah."

"... Fantastic. I'm learning so much."

[...]

"Where I'm from, people communicate with their fists."

"Where's that?"

"Southside."

"Mmm. Hands of steel. Okay, so you're a street rat. A brawler."

"Is that a problem?"

"Only if you make it one."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, beyond their first date, we have the actual relationship to dive into.

Throughout his scenes with Caleb, Ian seems to oscillate between neutrality, discomfort, or mild enjoyment in the situations he finds himself in.

There's this interaction, for example, where Ian lets Caleb take charge in defining their relationship:

"So what are we doing?"

"Whatever you want, I guess."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E7.

Or this moment:

"What are you smiling at?"

"I like having you over here. What are you smiling at?"

"I like having a purpose."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

Or when Caleb invites Ian out with his friends, and we see Ian slip into his chameleon persona, mirroring the petty mannerisms of the most vocal participant of the conversation, as well as avoiding diving too much into his personal history.

"You haven't told me which one is your ex."

"Guess."

"Old guy, pink sweater."

"How'd you know?"

"Ooh, a redhead, Caleb? Does his carpet match his drapes?"

"You're a good sport."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E8.

[...]

"If we had known you were bringing a middle school student, Caleb, we wouldn't have come to a place that cards."

"Oh, no, it's cool, I don't drink. I hear it makes your skin old and leathery."

"That's-that's how we're playing this?"

"Hey, you threw down first."

"Where you from, kid?"

"Back of the Yards."

"Local boy. What's your story?"

"Story?"

"Who you are, what you do, how did you meet this chocolate bundt cake?"

"Met him at the firehouse."

- Ian and Gregory, S6E8

[...]

"We like this one, Caleb. Don't we, Gregory?"

"I mean, If young, beautiful, and kind of a smartass is something to like, sure, fine, I guess we do."

- Caleb's friends about Ian, S6E8.

OR, in a deleted scene where Caleb expresses frustration at Ian keeping the distance between him and Ian's family, as well as Ian's lack of communication, while Ian seems unbothered or even perplexed by Caleb's frustration.

"So, where'd you sleep last night?"

"Home. Got done at three, told you I'd be late."

"Yeah, like nighttime late, not next day late."

"Well, I didn't wanna wake you, and I had to go back there to grab some stuff: clothes, towels..."

"Where's there?"

"Home, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Back of the Yards."

"Right. You did mention that once. I still don't know where it is or who I'd call if there was an emergency?"

"Uh... my brother, I guess? Or my sister."

"Brother or sister. Okay. I'll just track down Ian Gallagher's brother or sister on the internet."

"I'll... put their numbers in your phone."

"Great."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E11 deleted scene.

OR any of the follwing:

When they go to get Ian tested for STDs, he is visibly uncomfortable having Caleb in the room with him.

He is only comfortable revealing his bipolar disorder if it is done in exchange for another secret from Caleb.

He isn't very comfortable sharing his past, only references his previous relationship in a lighthearted manner, and he only reveals his sexual history upon feeling pressured to do so, which he purposefully presents in a callous way.

To me, the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship reads as Ian's desperation for validation through sex, which leads to him putting up with a relationship he isn't entirely comfortable in or commited to or ready for. To me, it seems like he's truly just looking for companionship in any way he can get it.

Out of everything, though, I think what really gets to fans most about this storyline is the constant comparison of Caleb to Mickey as a means of demonizing Mickey.

Throughout the entirety of Ian and Caleb's relationship, there is a constant comparison between the two relationships, seemingly with the intent of painting Mickey as a horrible partner.

When Ian tells Lip about his upcoming date with Caleb, he remarks that he never went on dates with Mickey, which comes off as an unnecessary jab.

During his date with Caleb, Ian talks about his lack of effective communication skills, which reflects negatively on Mickey, to the point Caleb brings forward the idea of domestic abuse.

During the wedding that Ian attends with Caleb, Ian mentions Mickey's marriage to Svetlana, and he uses a tone that comes off as belittling the situation and how difficult it was for Mickey.

There's this line, when Caleb asks Ian to kiss for the first time:

"Can I kiss you?"

"I thought kissing comes after you've had sex a bunch of times."

"Ian, kissing comes whenever you want it to. Even now."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6.

Then, there's Mandy stating that Caleb was better than Mickey.

"A hot black fireman. Also an artist."

"Upgrade from my brother."

"I miss Mickey, but uh... This new guy's nice."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

These near constant comparisons to Mickey are frustrating to fans, because it can often feel like Ian, or even just the writers and the narrative, are trying to belittle Mickey's character and reduce him to a one-note toxic ex, which completely spits in the face of the development that he went through. THAT is what is most frustrating to fans.

Because it's true that Mickey was not always the best partner. In real life, Mickey would be a walking red flag, and Gallavich would be undeniably toxic. But that applies to EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in Shameless. That is the entire point of the show. None of them are particularly good people. They all do shitty things, but they all have compelling reasons for doing it. That's why we can look at these characters and feel connected to them instead of just absolutely hating them.

It's a really odd writing choice for a show that focuses on morally gray characters, or the idea that nobody in the show is really a good person, to decide to play moral high ground in this particular instance, and have Ian suddenly turn his nose up at Mickey's behaviors.

But is this really how Ian feels?

Because, as established, Ian is VERY good at playing chameleon. He is good at shaping himself into whatever a partner wants him to be. He mirrors his partners mannerisms, beliefs, and attitudes.

And Caleb, for all that the story wants to make us believe he's better than Mickey, is actually not the best partner either. Not just for cheating on Ian in season seven and then gaslighting Ian about it; he shows some toxic behaviors in season six as well, including being lowkey judgmental about Ian's Southside roots.

Take, for example, Caleb implying that the Southside is trash, but that he can see the beauty in Ian despite being from the Southside:

"That's my latest. I love to find the treasure inside the trash. Trying to find the secret life in things. What it wants to be instead of what it is."

"Is that what you're doing with me?"

"Good question. Can I kiss you?"

- Ian and Caleb, S6E6

(Which, funnily enough, this line from Caleb goes pretty against the sentiment that Monica had in season five, of Ian finding somebody who loves Ian for who he already is, as Mickey did.)

Or, for another example, Caleb judging Ian pretty heavily during the softball game for being "not grown-up." Simply because Ian expresses sexual interest in him above romantic.

"Cmon, let's get out of here."

"No. I knew you were younger than me, but I thought you were a grown-up."

- Ian and Caleb, S6E5.

Which, as I pointed out before, is really strange behavior. Participating in hookup culture isn't something that Ian needs to be shamed over. There's a sentiment of "Hooking up is beneath me, it's immature," to Caleb's tone, which is unfair. Now, he has reasons for this, that being his experience with getting HIV from a hookup who lied to him, which draws a pretty interesting parallel to Ian.

"Don't worry, guy I did the scene with said he was clean."

"He didn't use a rubber? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

- Ian and Mickey, S5E5.

Vs.

"Guy in college. He lied to me."

- Caleb to Ian, S6E8.

(Which I actually find to be a very interesting plot point and is actually a pretty good scene.)

So, while Caleb was not wrong to put forth a boundary by not hooking up, he was wrong for acting as if IAN was the problem in the situation. Not to mention, his behavior at the game is very strange when taken into account how little they've interacted thus far. He had understandable reasons for his negative reaction, but he went about it the wrong way. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Anyways, I could talk about the relationship between Ian and Caleb more, but that's not what the point of this is.

The point I'm trying to make is that Caleb, however covertly, expresses a negative or biased view toward the Southside lifestyle. And Ian, being the type to mimic his partners, follows along in that.

Ian already fears that he is going to be left. He is afraid that showing Caleb who he really is and not being the idealized version of himself will lead to Caleb breaking up with him.

"I'm enjoying it while it lasts."

"You think he'll dump you?"

"Well, I've told him I'm bipolar, and my family's screwed up, and he took it pretty well. But it's one thing to hear it and another to live it, so... We shall see."

- Ian and Mandy, S6E9

So, he chameleons. He makes himself the treasure in the trash. He distances himself from the image of a brooding, Southside street rat.

Because, after so long of constant pain and numbness during and post his diagnosis, Caleb is the first good thing he's found.

"I haven't been this happy in a long time."

- Ian to Caleb, S6E8.

And really, everything that I just talked about doesn't matter when you think about it that way.

No matter how dedicated or invested Ian was in his relationship with Caleb, it still provided him with companionship and validation, which as we know, is something that Ian has an unhealthy dependence on to find self-worth.

And I don't think Ian was wrong in searching for that connection simply because that connection wasn't with Mickey. He could've been well and truly in love with Caleb, and he wouldn't deserve some of the hate he receives for his canon actions.

It's easy to look at Ian's relationship with Caleb and get frustrated because of all the time that was put into Ian and Mickey's relationship. But beyond the instinctual negative feeling that comes with seeing Ian with anybody other than Mickey, his relationships outside of Mickey deserve to be analyzed and observed for what they actually do for HIS character, and not just immediately cast aside as unnecessary or ooc.

So, to summarize:

Firstly, Ian wasn't selfish for not waiting 15 years for somebody in prison. Whether he was serious about Caleb or not, Ian was under no obligation to dedicate himself to Mickey. Ian did not owe Mickey anything simply because Mickey was there for Ian when shit got tough. If they had been together, sure, Ian would've been a lot shittier for leaving Mickey alone. But as it was, they were broken up, and even if they hadn't been, Ian would've had every right to not want to continue seeing Mickey after his decision to harm Sammi, just as Lip was justified in not wanting to be with Mandy anymore after she ran over Karen.

Secondly, Ian dating Caleb wasn't bad for his character. In fact, I think their relationship in season six was actually a very interesting way to progress Ian's character and get more insight into his mind and how he operates.

Thirdly, Ian and Caleb's relationship deserves to be analyzed for what it is, rather than what it isn't. Just because Ian is not with Mickey doesn't mean that he doesn't undergo some huge development in this season, both in and outside his relationship with Caleb. Furthermore, Ian entering a new relationship gives us the opportunity to see more sides of his character, and as such the relationship should be analyzed as it's own separate entity, and not just as a hurdle in the way of Gallavich.

Fourth, Ian was not just waiting to cast Mickey aside to jump on the next dick possible. I've seen this criticism before, and when looking at his actual arc at the beginning of S6 and analyzing his general character, that's just simply not true. Entering a new relationship is not equal to immediately disregarding Mickey.

TL;DR: The hate Ian gets from this season mainly stems from "Ian date somebody aside from Mickey, bad Ian" without any further thought behind why he enters the relationship and what the relationship actually means to him. There is no separation in the minds of fans between Ian and Mickey, and therefore, Ian having experiences and an identity outside of Mickey is negatively perceived.

Season Seven: Putting His Own Wellbeing First

This one will be less long winded than the previous one, because I have less to say on it, honestly.

During the entirety of Ian's bipolar arc, it is pretty clearly shown that to maintain mental wellness, Ian needs stability.

When Mickey shows up and asks Ian to run away with him to Mexico, that's threatening to uproot every amount of stability Ian has managed to secure the past two seasons of the show.

I honestly don't see as much hate directed toward Ian for his decision to leave Mickey at the border as I see for his previous decisions. I'd say the main thing I actually see directed toward this season is just that Ian's story is boring without Mickey in it. Mostly because he enters another new relationship with Trevor after his relationship with Caleb, which really just follows the cyclical Shameless cycle of, "Don't know what to do with a character? Give them a new love interest!" But because I talked about the judgement for non-Gallavich Ian relationships above, I don't particularly feel like doing a deep dive into the Ian and Trevor relationship in this meta.

What I want to talk about relates to the Mickey Mexico storyline, though, and that's the hate other characters recieve for trying to dissuade Ian from going.

After finding out that Mickey escaped from prison, Fiona and Ian have the following conversation:

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. You ever, uh, think about about what would've happened if you'd run off with Jimmy-Steve?"

"Lying sociopath Jimmy-Steve? My life would be a nonstop psycho-thriller. I definitely dodged a bullet with that one."

"What if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again? Still feel like you dodged a bullet?"

"I don't know. Probably. Where's this coming from?"

"Things have been weird between me and Trevor since Mickey got out."

"You mean since Mickey busted out of prison and has got half the Chicago Police Department circling the Southside looking for him."

"Can't get him out of my head. Just trying to stop myself from doing something I shouldn't."

"You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You've done really great without him, and I'm really fucking proud of you."

- Ian and Fiona, S7E10.

I've seen this conversation criticized many times because of how "unfairly" Mickey is treated in this scene. But I truly think that nothing said in this scene was wrong, and Fiona was 100% right.

In the past, Fiona has definitely shown a prejudice against the Milkovich family before. Specifically with Mandy, Fiona seems to look down upon her and disapproves of the relationship between her and Lip. This on its own is unfair treatment and is annoying to witness.

But in this particular case, absolutely nothing she is saying is wrong or biased simply because Mickey is a Milkovich.

People take the line, "Mickey would set a match to it," and compare it to his behavior in late Season 4 through season 5, where Mickey is taking care of Ian, and say that Fiona is being untruthful or hypocritical. If Mickey had never been sent to prison, or even if he had just been released legally, and Ian was simply thinking about cheating on Trevor and getting back with Mickey instead of running away with him, then the criticism toward Fiona would be more justified. But as it is, Mickey is a wanted fugitive, and Ian running away with him would make Ian a fugitive as well, and WOULD effectively set a match to the life Ian had spent the past two seasons working toward. He would be giving up a career he worked hard for and fought to have, he'd be living in stressful conditions on the run, he'd have no support system, and he would have less ease of access to his medication. Running with Mickey would have been the wrong decision for Ian's wellbeing, and honestly, Mickey should never have asked Ian to go with him.

I think that many people have rose colored glasses on when it comes to Gallavich, specifically with Mickey, and that makes it harder to view these moments unbiased. But, looking at it objectively, Mickey was so wrong for asking Ian to come with him to Mexico. He KNOWS that Ian needs stability with his bipolar diagnosis, and he KNOWS that this would be a stressful life he'd be forcing Ian into.

Simply put, he's acting selfishly in that moment. Having your own interests in mind is not always a bad thing, but in this specific case, Mickey would have thrown a huge wrench into Ian's life is Ian hadn't made decisions in HIS best interest.

Again, I have less to say on this as I did other subjects, because to me it feels much more cut and dry. Mickey was in the wrong here 100%, Fiona was not being wrongfully judgmental toward Mickey, and Ian was not in the wrong for not going with Mickey.

After so long of seeing them apart, it makes sense to want to see them together again. So when Ian, again, is the one making the decision to end their relationship, fans are going to lash out at him and those around him.

But it's important to put aside biases and allow your favorite character to be in the wrong occasionally. Mickey is not perfect, and criticism against him, both from characters in the show and fans, is not unfounded nor unjustified.

TL;DR: Mickey was wrong for asking Ian to uproot his life and run to Mexico, and calling that out isn't defamation of his character.

To End This Yap Session:

Ian is by no means a faultless character, and he is not exempt from criticism both inside and outside of his relationship with Mickey. However, I often feel that the criticism he faces is for the wrong reasons, and not much contemplation or exploration is done on him as much as it is for Mickey.

I love Mickey. He's an amazingly complex character, and his relationship with Ian is one of my favorite parts of the show. But in being a complex character, he is also an imperfect character.

I feel that many fans get very protective over their favorite characters, to the point that anything that goes against that character's interests is labeled as bad, and any criticism toward his character is disregarded immediately.

In this particular case of Gallavich, I feel that post season three, fans often see things from Mickey's point of view without looking at Ian's as much. This meta was simply to give my own thoughts on Ian's most "controversial" moments among fans. Obviously this is mostly condensed to season six and his relationship with Caleb, which I feel is the biggest example of jumping to conclusions and only seeing the surface level of his character.

However, I would like to acknowledge that Ian is also an insanely popular character in the Shameless fandom. While he is misunderstood in many instances, he is given much more sympathy and understanding than many other characters in the show, especially many of the female characters. This long-winded meta is only focused on the concerning tendency for fans to link Ian's identity to Mickey entirely without allowing him to be an individual, but a majority of the time he is still a beloved character who is treated favorably by fans. Compared to a character like Debbie, Ian sees much more support, and I feel that the energy I put toward this meta and trying to understand Ian should also be applied to (almost) EVERY character in the show.

Anyways feel free to leave thoughts.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Why Stella Will Never Be Like Beatrice

I heard in the next season that we will get Stella's backstory and it will be an attempt to make her into the next Beatrice Horseman. However, the problem with that is there is nothing to build for Stella to do that. And so far, all they have done is make her a one dimensional plot device to have Stolas be pitied so that it can excuse his infidelity and protect him for being called out for his shitty actions. With Beatrice, the marriage between her and her husband was mutually toxic and it wasn't one sided as portrayed with Stolas and Stella. Also despite how shitty Beatrice could be the narrative never treated Butterscotch's affairs as justified just because he was unhappily married to her and even more so Bojack catching him in the middle of one his flings was treated as a traumatizing event instead of laughs like in Helluva Boss. If they portrayed Stella and Stolas' marriage as mutually toxic with both of them having been miserable by the system that set them up, then she would have earned being compared to Beatrice. However, all she's going to be is a pale imitation because Vivziepop copies beats of stories she likes but doesn't have the skill to pull off the execution because she misses the point they were trying to make.