#no he was not amish

[brenna]

i forgot to mention that yesterday the doctor brought out this patient to optical who immediately asked, "which ones are the men's glasses?" like, great, we're off to a transphobic start; love that for us. the doc is like, "oh, you know, they're kind of all together." and the other optician takes the chart (thank someone because i am not about to suffer this human). i hear her say, "yeah, and some of them are unisex!" to which he immediately comes out with, "oh, i don't want any of THAT."

like, sir, kindly remove your head from your ass. we're coming for the term unisex now? get the fuck over yourself.

i got distracted with helping my trainee with a woman who couldn't get the deal on sunglasses, but later the guy working front desk was like, "did you catch the horrible vibes off of that guy? 'where are the men's glasses?' shut up! and then he was like, 'that's not how i was raised.' no one cares. sir, this is a wendy's! leave your garbage opinions at home."

thank someone my coworkers aren't shit, at least.

[weareallgonnaliveforawhile]

Y'all know those fanfics where Saiki is an asshole to Teruhashi or really rude to her until they start dating? Yeah, this is what I imagine what that Saiki meeting Canon Saiki would be like.

Canon Saiki: So do you still deal with Teruhashi?

Fanfic Saiki: I can not avoid that woman. The other day she was bothering me when a mob of her fans showed up so I teleported away and-

Canon Saiki, surprised: You revealed your powers to her?! I mean, her fans do suck, so I can understand panicking and teleporting the both of you away-

Fanfic Saiki: What? No, I teleported myself away and left her there.

Canon Saiki: You what.

Fanfic Saiki: I teleported myself away. Well actually, I was the one who kinda summoned that crowd so that she'd be too overwhelmed with them to go find me-

Canon Saiki, shaking with murderous rage: You what.

[paint-n-thinner]

IMtober day 2: Past

My favorite guy from past times 👴

[subskz]

does anyone else feel like someone poured pop rocks and soda into their brain and shook it around really hard

[deadlydelicious]

Who the fuck were Lila's family? Her backstory in season 2 was that her parents are brits, but in this timeline she just has like 3 or 4 random american aunties and uncles and it's never explained? We're just expected to accept that she has this gaggle of family who are ready to babysit her plot device children.

And why are her and Allison the only one's who get other family members? it doesn't make sense and it feels like we were so cheated out of seeing the Hargreeves sruggle to fit in with whatever nuclear family dynamic this new timeline dumped them in

[vanmarkus]

i need this amish twink to get his world rocked

[morphean42]

Human AU where Edwin was raised amish. Need I say more.

[eddis-not-eeddis]

My dad is not, in theory, opposed to my going to Japan, but he has decided that if he can get me hitched before I leave, then it is a sign I’m not meant to go.

[pastafossa]

Things we discovered that Sir Peregrin Montgomery Scott Took The Third finds VERY DANGEROUS, part 18.

Dump trucks, these make BAD NOISES, MUST ALERT NEIGHBORHOOD.

Package trucks, which are DUMP TRUCKS IN DISGUISE, MUST ALERT NEIGHBORHOOD.

School buses, have you SEEN THE WAY THESE YELLOW DUMP TRUCKS JUST EAT CHILDREN??? ALERT NEIGHBORHOOD, THESE PARENTS ARE ALLOWING THEIR CHILDREN TO BE EATEN, OH THE DOGMANITY

Cars are fine, it is also fine if you get in the car, but turn the car on, SMALL DUMP TRUCK HAS EATEN MY FAMILY, ALERT, ALERT, SOMEONE SAVE MY FAMILY

The small neighborhood children driving down the sidewalk in their little ride-on dumP TRUCKS AND BULLDOZERS, NOW THERE ARE SMALL DUMP TRUCKS TOO???? OH MY GOD IT HAS THE CHILDREN, QUICK, QUICK COME LOOK, WE MUST SAVE THEM, LET ME OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR THIS INSTANCE (Me, to Pippin: dude do you just hate the industrial revolution???)

My tiny little manual air duster, I squeeze the bulb and it blows out a little air, this makes a squeak, DANGER, DANGER, GRAB HUMAN'S HAND, PULL AWAY, IT COULD BITE, IT HISSES LIKE SNAKE, DANGER DANGER DANGER ALERT HOUSEHOLD, ALERT THERE IS A SQUEEZIE SNAKE AND IT HAS PASTA'S HAND

Lifesize Buffalo statue near a coffee shop, DANGER COW, DANGER COW, HERD FAMILY AWAY FROM DANGER COW, BACK, BACK COW, BACK NOW-

Anyway here's Pippin Cubed in his new raincoat which he is not afraid of

[ma-douce-souffrance]

love how media adaptations of ramayan portray lakshman as a 5 foot nothing with anger management issues and patience range zero to nil like go short king rooting for you

[tonydaddingham]

turn up

✨serve✨

leave

[blue-rose-soul]

Love AroAllo Nicaise. Just seems right.

She's exactly the sort of person I can imagine raising Alastor and helping him form his moral code.

Oh god, how did She take learning Alastor had a stalker?!

Nicaise, patching Alastor up after he got into a fight at school: Remember baby, don't go punching people unless they deserve it. Alastor: Yes ma'am. Nicaise: And don't get caught!

Same rules apply to stabbing, yes?

Nicaise is horrified and disgusted by the Vees. At first she only really knew about Valentino as Angel Dust's shithead boss and, like Cherri, works to cheer Angel up when Valentino is especially hard on him. Just... with more shopping trips and less drugs. She was already predisposed to hate Vox and Velvette simply because of their association with Valentino. Then she saw Alastor destroying the drones buzzing around the hotel. When she asked about them, Alastor simply described Vox as a disgusting voyeur who spied on everyone all of the time, and in the wake of the media circus, Nicaise didn't think there was much more to it.

She only learns the truth from an offhand comment thoughtlessly tossed out by Niffty about the TV bad boy's 'crush' on Alastor. Nicaise hopes desperately that she misheard when she asks Niffty for clarification. Husk tries to get Niffty to shut up, which only results in him getting interrogated by Alastor's mother. And Niffty was only guessing. Husk actually has some insight into Alastor's and Vox's history, their past friendship, their falling out. He doesn't give Nicaise the full story because he knows Alastor would skin him alive - not hyperbole - but he does tell Nicaise enough to paint a rather disturbing picture.

Her first thought is to go and confront this Vox person directly. Husk has to stop her. Pointing out that she's been able to stay out of the spotlight so far. Does she really want to reveal her identity to the freak in charge of every TV network in the Pentagram? Nicaise doesn't care. Does she want to get Alastor in even more trouble? This gives her pause. She's far from defenseless, but now that they know angels can be killed she can't afford to be reckless, and if Vox learned her identity he'd be all too eager to target her as a way of hurting Alastor. Besides, proud as Alastor is, he wouldn't want his mother fighting his battles for him. He's capable of defending himself, and he does have people on his side who are willing to provide backup in the instance he needs it.

Still, Nicaise insists there must be something that can be done about Vox. Aren't there some authorities they can report this to? A restraining order? Husk raises his eyebrow and reminds her they're in Hell.

[allgremlinart]

men with horrible facial hair were put on this Earth to have disgusting sex with other men idk what to tell u. its all they know.

[hood-ex]

When I' wearing a DC shirt in the wild and someone tells me they like my shirt, my immediate thought is fuck, fuck, fuck pleeease don't try to have a conversation with me about it.

[howveryeri]

The Modern-Day Mozart

After that that stupid thing from Bezos and Musk about how a trillion humans would mean a thousand Mozarts, it got me thinking.

We clearly must have Mozarts today, and at least a couple of them probably got the same upbringing he did to nurture their skill and talent, and we would therefore have:

a musician of significant talent, dedication and skill,

who can write music across a bunch of different contemporary genres,

who explicitly draws from the work of other musicians to build their style, and

who is willing to do the musical equivalent of shitposting and wear fancy outfits while doing it.

I can only conclude that the modern-day Mozart is Weird Al Yankovic.

I will not be taking questions.

[rpfisfine]

this was such a diabolical look