#no chickens for you my friend
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A visit from one of the Neighbours
#owl#wildlife#the Woods#Barred Owl#photozoi#original photos#5-18-2024#Doug Fir#no chickens for you my friend
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it’s me the WHITE PHARAOH 🤍 i have been KICKED from the pyramid due to CANCEL CULTURE and i need YOUR HELP please send pictures of your credit card front and back 💳 please help big friendly WHITE PHARAOH 🤍
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and what if the slaughtered lamb asked you to sing while it died
#my art#pvpciv#pvp civilization#evbo pvpciv#pvpciv evbo#guard pvpciv#raymond pvpciv#evbo’s guard friend#cw blood#this took FOREVER i hate making comics so much jfc#whatever. throws this to you guys like chicken feed. eat up#this can be guardbo if you want idc have fun
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“What’s the matter, Sebastian? You look like you've seen a ghost.”
HELLO HELLO, Carpet Kitty’s alive and well right here! I do apologize for my disappearance, meow... consider this a super late Halloween thingy, hehe.
#paws at you for attention#my art#ranfren#randals friends#randal's friends#ranfren kitty#carpet kitty#kitty carpet#present day problem takeuchi robert#ranfren ratmen#ranfren robert#sebastian de tomato smith chicken legs#ranfren sebastian
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anyone remember adam parrish, the bella swan of henrietta. let’s sit and think now…
#to know him is to have a crush on him etcetera#that post is gospel to me#been wanting to post this for 2 weeks but uni kicked my ass to the ground..i fear#adam parrish#the raven cycle#trc#my art#context for corner text that says ‘we’re not going 15 mph��:#was on an uber with some friends and our driver ignored the speed limit and friend wrote that out so as to not say it outloud LOLL#left it cause it’s funny and also fitting for pynch… if you will..#and also adam chicken scratch writing canon!
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okay finished the first book of the fish isekai series and it is RIDICULOUSLY fun -- it's like eating candy, sweet and stupid and very hard to stop. prince jing is perfect, i adore him
#disabled tyrant's beloved pet fish#dtbpf#dtppf#li yu#mu tianchi#prince jing#shen qingqiu and li yu are having VERY different transmigration experiences...#took me three days to knock this book out i am being so literal when i said i couldn't stop reading#you guys get basically zero art because i was too engrossed going from one deranged fishy scheme to the next#i respect prince jing and his ability to roll with every new bizarre thing his pet decides to do#also the fact that the book essentially has two mute leads? very neat dynamic i love how you see them communicate with each other#genuinely stoked to pick up bk2 though i might read beware of chicken in between#just so i can tell my friend who recommended it to me that i tried it#also because if i finish bk2 just as fast and then need to WAIT for the third book i'm going to chew glass#my art
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being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now
#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic#even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space#so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now#like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry)#but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her#or a blind bag with a character keychain#and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad#starts to diminish#my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it#or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces#i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables#my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons#like i dont get it but i get it#maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort#sara shush#ramble
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nah because crofty is genuinely insane because why would you say that about your coworker???? and to his face??? "this man knows lewis hamilton. friends, teammates, childhood buddies, rivals, everything but a lover." hello???? why are you saying that to nico rosberg's face???? why are you, as the lead f1 commentator, writing fanfiction about your coworker???? about him and his ex???? and also, what an insane thing to say about someone else's relationship!!! "everything but a lover"... just show them having gay sex onscreen, it would be less intimate than whatever the hell you just said.
#it's been almost 3 years since that happened and yet i still rotate that moment in my head like a rotisserie chicken#'everything but a lover'.... what a terribly intimate thing to say about another person#like isn't that more romantic than actually being someone's partner??? they are everything to you but a romantic interest#wow... they are your friend your brother the little butterflies in your stomach... everything and anything but a lover#because like you can live without a lover but can you live without the tender smile your friend gives you when something good happens?#can you live without the hugs and the shared podiums and the shared dreams and greece?#also imagine lewis coming home and eciding to watch a recap of the race and then crofty just says this... like what the fuck do you even sa#i just /know/ that the industry is scheming to bring them back together again bc what else could this have been?#david croft#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes#f1
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i like him
#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him#i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form#it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again#if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat#or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour#idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed#i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny#if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive#never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny#im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory#i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that#i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit#myart#my art#doodles#stardew valley#stardew#sdv#sdv harvey#kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat
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me omw to scare mormons out of a wendys!! 🍂🖤🍟
ootd from like 2 weeks ago and yes that really happened
#ootd#doodles#art#illustration#fashion#fall#autumn#autumn vibes#cozy vibes#self portrait#artists on tumblr#i havent done an ootd drawing in a while and i just wanted to Make Something#the mormons story: my friend and i stopped at a wendys and there were these two Stock Image Of Mormons dudes sitting at a table#and me and my friend are obvious gay and in different directions. you can tell we are Queers(tm). i look like This and he has#long curly hair and huge earrings. we are the poster children of what mormons prolly show kids and say 'these people are going to hell'#you'd think we had walked in holding signs that say WE LOVE GAY MARRIAGE AND ABORTlON with the way they stopped and started#muttering to each other while looking dead at us in the checkout line. like the entire time. and after a few minutes of whispering to#each other they pick up their food and book it tf out of the restaurant. still looking at us *as they go out the door*#it was so fucking funny. anyway then we stole their table#good! gtfo. i dont want cultists with my fries thanks#im glad my gay autistic aura is strong enough that i scare freaks like that by just Standing There thinking about a crispy chicken BLT#sounds like a 'and then everyone clapped' story but that really did happen to me and ive been laughing at it for 2 weeks now#what Isnt true is that i pulled a whole leaf out of my pocket. that shit was in pieces. and i dont know where it came from
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DINNER IS (finally) SERVED
3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!
(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)
(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
there's a masterlist now!
*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*
poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*
poseidon: *see’s a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*
poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*
poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?
odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*
athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*
odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*
odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one out
athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*
athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldn’t make assumptions, especially when you don’t know the facts
odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*
odysseus: it’s fine athena
odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was.
poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldn’t be older than fifteen in this
odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* you’re correct, i was fifteen
poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseus’ mood* so… you became king at fifteen? isn’t that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?
odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen
poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?
odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young son’s shoulders*
odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had to…
odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me
athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*
odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anyway…enough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now
*they all continue making their way down the hall*
poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*
poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot
athena & odysseus: *both look to where he’s pointing*
athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*
odysseus: *smirks*
poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused*
odysseus: oh that..oh don’t worry it’s clean
odysseus: *shrugs* it’s just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles
poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?
odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108…mutts… all vying for my wife’s hand.
odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself… unfortunately one of them left a stain.
odysseus: -oh look we’ve made it
odysseus: hope we haven’t kept them too long
poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore he’s unlocked*
athena: *laughing at poseidon’s expression*
odysseus: *opening the door* come on let’s head in
poseidon: *shakes away the shock*
odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess it’s time to introduce you to my wife
*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*
*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*
odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, you’ve met my son telemachus before.
telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement*
telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, i’m so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner.
telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*
telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*
poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your idea
telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um… yes i guess it was
poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.
telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my father’s friend after all!
poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself*
poseidon: yes… friend.
odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that you’ve both reacquainted yourselves again… telemachus why don’t you go speak with athena for a moment
telemachus: sure!
*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*
odysseus: *puts his arm around penelope’s waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope.
penelope: *doesn’t bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon
poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope
penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them*
penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us
poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-
penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*
penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my son’s fishing trips lately.
penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight
poseidon: sure… no problem?
odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone!
odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?
odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*
odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with ‘mother’ written on it*
odysseus: huh?
telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! there’s a different than usual seating plan for tonight! i’ve put everyone's names where they should sit.
odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!
odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?
telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!
*everyone makes their way to the table to see where they’re sitting (even though three of them already know)*
odysseus: *sees the parchment with ‘father’ on it*
odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*
odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*
odysseus: *thinks it’s weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*
odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*
odysseus: wait-
poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*
poseidon: wait-
poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*
telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isn’t this great? it’s a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together?
telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry you’re by yourself at the head of the table though mother
penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i don’t mind
penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!
*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*
penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon… would you both please sit down.
odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon*
odysseus: uh sure…
odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidon’s seat in the motion for him to also sit down*
poseidon: *still doesn’t sit*
odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes*
poseidon: *sits*
odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening
odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!
odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortal’s help?
poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*
odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*
*everyone has been eating and talking*
poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*
poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*
odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?
poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking*
poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife
odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?
poseidon: im..curious
odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?
poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives… yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates… about a decade older than you
poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table*
poseidon: do you perhaps…prefer older women odysseus?
odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*
poseidon: *notices odysseus hasn’t responded yet*
poseidon: i’m right aren’t -
odysseus: no.
odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*
poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, it’s just a simple observation…. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference
poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* it’s not a bad thing
odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*
odysseus: we are- were the same age… physically at least
poseidon: *confused* i don’t follow
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home… i found myself stuck on a goddess’ island for 7 of them…
poseidon: ok…
odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island… her magic influenced everything… including a mortal's ability to age.
poseidon: so you didn’t-
odysseus: -age? yeah
odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasn’t… i- i-
odysseus: lets just say i didn’t handle it well
poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh
odysseus: yep ‘oh’ indeed…
odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*
odysseus: didn’t you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?
poseidon: in my defence… i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasn’t really paying attention to how you looked
odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true
telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?
poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*
poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca
telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?
poseidon: *amazed at telemachus’ knowledge*
poseidon: not directly… but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetis…
*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*
*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*
poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table*
poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*
poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?
odysseus: huh?
poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? you’ve only touched the fish.
poseidon: if i hadn’t seen the others eat it, i’d worry you’d asked your cooks to poison it or something.
odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison won’t hurt you though?
odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?
poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i don’t, i’m just-
odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosity…
poseidon: *huffs* forget it-
odysseus: i can’t
poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* you…can’t?
odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i can’t stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore
poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?
odysseus: *gives poseidon a ‘do i really have to explain everything?’ look*
poseidon: *just stares*
odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought you’d understand lamb… after the whole sheep incident with… your son.
odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-
poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*
odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circe’s island… where she turned my men to pigs.
odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork
odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god… so yeah beef is a no go for me also.
poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*
poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and you’re letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?
poseidon: *now glaring back*
poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me
*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachus’ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*
*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*
telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon?
telemachus: *smiling* it’s been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you
poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*
poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening
telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?
poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*
poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-
odysseus: *gives another kick*
poseidon: -great idea
telemachus: *laughs in happiness*
telemachus: oh but i can’t take all the credit
odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity*
athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*
athena: *slightly chokes* wai-
odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this
telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell he’s about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!
athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*
athena: w-well it was just a suggestion really…
telemachus: no ‘thena! remember you said as it’s a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!
odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!
penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*
telemachus: *as if he hasn’t already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!
penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*
telemachus: she said it was a great idea!
odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?
poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*
*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*
*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*
poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is*
poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.
poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting
poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus… good night.
*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*
telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!
poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion*
odysseus: *just shrugs also confused*
poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.
*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*
telemachus: *walks up to poseidon*
telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*
poseidon: uh-
telemachus: it’s a gift! i’m not expecting anything in return, and i’m sure you have better things… but i saw it and thought you’d like it
poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachus’ hands*
poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*
poseidon: *breathes in sharply*
telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you don’t like it that's fin-
poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus*
poseidon: prince of ithac-
telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus
poseidon: …telemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift.
poseidon: i will cherish it.
penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas ‘cherishing’ something*
athena: *small smile as she knows*
*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*
*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*
#poseidon: *returned home back to his palace*#poseidon: *once again looking at the gift this time with a small smile on his face*#amphitrite: *looking at poseidon* whatcha got there?#poseidon: *stuffs telemachus’ gift into his chiton* uh… uh…MOLY?!#amphitrite: *raised eyebrow* the king of ithaca… odysseus gave you…moly?#poseidon: this isn't from odysse- *cough* i mean; no… he didn't#poseidon: it's from his son.#amphitrite: *now both eyebrows raised in disbelief* the prince gave you moly?#poseidon: *panicking as he's the god of the seas not of lies*#poseidon: well they're descended from hermes… he practically hands out this stuff as you know…#amphitrite: uh huh... what ever you say husband#okay headcanon 1 - calypso said 'under my spell we're stuck in paradise' & to me this made me think well if she controls everything#then surely a goddess' magic can have other consequences like stopping a mortal aging. or extremely slowly aging.#once poor odysseus realises he wasn't getting older but his son and wife would be...he broke fearing he'd outlive them#calypso obvs doesn't also want the love of her life getting old/dying on her too#also credit to @rin-solo for this head canon too!#headcanon 2 - it actually happened while i was eating a burger. i thought man i'd struggle to eat any meat after all what ody went through#and so thats how that came to be! i believe he will eat goat/rabbit/chicken etc. but fish is easier with y'know ithaca being a island#so telemachus' gift has been revealed! i thought a hippocampus would be better that just a sea creature or horse. why not both?#also there will be a part 9...ody's revenge/punishment for athena and penelope's seating plan#but i need a small break after this monstrosity#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#telemachus epic#penelope epic the musical#epic the musical#epic: the musical#friends in higher places au?#nonsense thoughts
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Best 23 of BL 2023 - Quirky Awards
SHOCK & AWE AWARDS
1. Biggest BL surprise of 2023:
The last 3 months of 2023 in general got my biggest WTF award.
GMMTV fielding OffGun AND TayNew in the same quarter while also airing Last Twilight
That they ALSO optioned 3 JBLs
That there's a high heat omegaverse BL staring Pavel
That there were 20 BLs airing and none of them Korean.
With 5 VAMPIRE BLs announced for next year
But my prize in this category goes to My Dear Gangster Oppa.
It's just crazy:
Thai talent, Korean money + IP (this is adapted from a manwha) airing on a Chinese channel (iQIYI). Plus it was FUN and made smart reuse of a pair who richly deserved it. I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production. And wonder if any other film genre could even do anything like this.
2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:
The 8th Sense from Korea?!
I mean, seriously?! Dealing with mental health, suicide, darkness, therapy, (tiny) age gap, & first time love BUT FROM KOREA? And then openness and casual boyfriend physical affection? What's next? An actual hard fought coming out narrative with an HEA? Gay domesticity and families?
Careful Korea, you'll strain something. Possibly your own culture and film industry.
I should stop having expectations of Korea, they keep surprising me.
Runners up: Korea letting OnlyOneOf do Bump Up Business not to mention that OmegaX thing. AND Korea adapting Why R U? What are you up to, Korea? Qua? Is this a coded message? Should we send help? Do you need snacks?
3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:
GeminiFourth in My School President.
Seriously? Babies what? How did GMMTV find you? How do you exist? How is BL this lucky?
4. That studio did WHAT now? award:
GMMTV putting EarthMix into Moonlight Chicken.
And then doubling down with G4 as the damn sides.
Fucking genius.
5. I’m sad you were ignored award:
Destiny Seeker.
It's just a really fun little Thai pulp, the pairs were good, silly dialogue, plus consent and other good sex rep. I enjoyed it. No one talked about it AT ALL.
6. 2023 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?
Laws of Attraction. -The casting, the crazy story, the soapy drama! But specifically: Film playing Charn - the range of his smiles alone. GLORIOUS
I mean I Feel You Linger in the Air also sparked something in me, but LoA drove me actually nuts.
NARRATIVE AWARDS
7. Best story 2023:
La Pluie
I know, you're surprised, right? At the time I didn't chat much about it but I really enjoyed the discourse others were having. I love anything that really examines the fated mates (soulmates) trope and the idea of "the one". What a clever way to do that. (This is one reason UWMA is my favorite Thai BL.)
This one reminded me of the way Color Rush approached allegory and that's no bad thing. Such an impressive little piece.
8. Best narrative structure 2023 award:
Unintentional Love Story.
I know this may seem a simplistic pick. But I love the tidiness of this no frills contemporary romance, how the culture of work and personal ethics and corruption fight against the main character's affection and integrity. Poor baby boy is driven into a corner and then punished for it. But it is punishment he feels he deserves, and so it is up to his (now) ex to figure out what went wrong and why.
It's just great. I love it when no one is stupid or wrong, it's just impossible circumstances and unintentional love deeply felt.
9. Best 2023 dialogue (script) award:
Jun & Jun
Never before has Korea laced a BL with that much perfectly executed innuendo. It was a master class. I didn't know you could be that lascivious in Korean, quite frankly. Plus the way the 2 Juns constantly seamlessly transition between formal register (work, public - where they are boss/employee) to informal register (when they are alone and age mates + childhood sweethearts).
Beautiful to hear and watch.
10. Favorite scene 2023:
The dub con scene in I Cannot Reach You because I AM TRASH for an out of control seme. I'm sorry I just AM.
I have said it before, I will say it again, NO ONE DOES THIRST like Japan. And when that thirst bubbles over, it is heart-clenching and very hot.
11. The most rewatchable BL of 2023 award:
Our Dating Sim
That scene where they lie on the floor + the stolen kiss + giggle? Come on, it should be on comfort repeat in war rooms. It could bring world peace.
ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS
12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role, 2023:
Fluke in Make a Wish.
It was fun to see him as an irreverent immortal and while I love OhmFluke I also really enjoyed this new pairing. It was a genuine pleasure to watch.
13. Best pining 2023:
The moot pining in Tokyo in April is...
Boys, seriously? Japan must you destroy us like this? Hurts so good.
14. Best wingman 2023 (The Namgoong Award)
Tiw from My School President
I mean, come on, of course it's him!
(Also can you believe Mark went on from this to do fricking Only Friends!? To Last Twilight! Come on GMMTV GIVE HIM A LEAD!)
15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!
Dimpled McMafia & Feral Bunny Foo Foo from Kiseki Dear to Me.
They were feral for each other.
We were feral for them
It was a whole delightful THING.
16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:
The Private Lessons pair showing up in Love Class 2.
I know it was only a cameo, but SERIOUSLY? Thank you SO MUCH Korea! A big studio picking up a Strongberry pairing? I love you.
Seriously tho, Taiwan & Korea tried for ALL THE CAMEOS this year.
17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:
NetJames in Bed Friend.
Need I say more?
18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Bah Vinh in Vian & Mr Cinderella 2. I didn't like either show but I loved him in them. Especially the make outs.
Yes you have chemistry with all the boys in Vietnam and you kiss beautifully. But it's okay now honey, you have the crown. Relax, you're stressing us out.
RANDOM PICKS
19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2023:
Our Dating Sim
Caught in the act by the elevator scene. OMG it's so funny. They're being such boyfriend shits to each other, and to be caught in the act by THAT character, and try to manifest formal language whole cloth? Hilarious.
Honorable mention to War Peanuts in Destiny Seeker.
20. Biggest disappointment of 2023:
You Are Mine
Seriously Taiwan, AGAIN you disappoint me with an Office BL? You're Taiwan, land of offices and suits. This should be YOUR SETTING TO WIN. And yet... argh. I mean it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good either. Stop it Taiwan, do better.
Runners up? Between Us, Chains of Heart, Dangerous Romance - this was a HOTLY contested category.
+ 2 Winners in the sub-category of FUCK YOU FOR THAT ENDING award:
The Director who Buys Me Dinner - I mean this nicely but: you have your lane now Korea, stop hurting us, that's Japan's responsibility and they do it better.
I Feel You Linger In the Air - I'm just hugely disappointed. Thailand ALMOST got its second 10/10 from me, but that damn ending.
Argh.
21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023
The shower of packaged bedsheets in My Personal Weatherman
Amazing. Brilliant. No notes.
22. Best Queer Rep 2023
Chot in Step By Step
In fact, all the queer characters in this show were treated with great integrity.
AND props to this cast for refusing to do fan service. GOOD FOR YOU! Fuck those sasang wankers.
Runners up? The found family cast of Love in Translation and the Rainbow Rice Cakes in The New Employee.
23. Best Meta Trope call out
Tin Tem Jai
Come on, what a zinger, but at themselves (and Taiwan)
Final question: which of the 23 was the hardest for me to pick?
Honestly? Question #1 this year. But also question #20.
(Last year: 2022's Version)
Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2023. Or The Sign probably would have taken multiple categories. But it will fall into 2024 offerings.
(source)
#best BLs of 2023#end of year BL awards#my favorite BLs of 2023#I think this will be my oen awards list this year#My Dear Gangster Oppa#Thai BL#the eighth sense#Korean BL#GeminiFourth#My School President#GMMTV#Moonlight Chicken#EarthMix#Destiny Seeker#laws of attraction#La Pluie#unintentional love story#Jun and Jun#I Cannot Reach You#Japanese BL#Our Dating Sim#Make a wish#fluke natouch#Tokyo in April is...#kiseki: dear to me#Love Class 2#NetJames#Bed Friend#My Personal Weatherman#Step by Step
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The BEST line I have ever read from a Ford x Reader Fic
was something along the lines of "I want him to grab me like how he grabs that chicken sandwich."
I have searched endlessly for this one-shot. I haven't seen it in at least two years, (honestly probably more). I fear it has been deleted. But I think about this line all the time.
To whoever made this masterpiece, I hope life is treating you well and I love you
#I literally think to this every time I talk about fics with my friends. It's the one that got away#ford x reader#ford pines x reader#It was a pretty cozy one-shot.#If I remember right; reader was looking over their book and admiring him eating his lunch from the couch#I literally spent hours going through the tag to find it#That line is legendary#lost fic#ford pines#gravity falls#stanford pines#Idk who you are but I love you#It was actually a really sweet fic#You dropped your 'funniest person alive' pin#I may be misquoting slightly#I think I read this in 2021 maybe??#"I want him to grab me like a chicken sandwich'#Maybe it was “grip me”#Ah well
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Stray Kids + "ATE" photoshoot 🌵
#okay okay im done now. got on a little adhd enhanced comeback high but 🤙 im chillin now- im going to get friend chicken#you guys are safe from me and my moving images and text posts for... at least an hour 😂 but anyway! i do love this shoot its so cute#stray kids#skz gifs#bystay#createskz#skzedit#stray kids gifs#lee know#kim seungmin#bang chan#yang jeongin#jesskz#skz#hwang hyunjin#lee felix#seo changbin#han jisung
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Day 25. almost free. almost done.
it is Fake Peppino Friday... but for some reason, the sound of clucking is in the distance? that's strange..... perhaps one of these little Fakelings has something to do with it.
around a nearby town, strange rumors started popping up, about an old abandoned building that had stood vacant for a good few years. but odd sounds had been heard from within, the sounds of hard work, heavy objects being moved, and inhuman, almost cluck-like cries. nobody knew what it could have been, and none were brave enough to investigate. until... one day, out of nowhere, the building appeared somehow cleaner, and a large sign had been hung out at the front, with the bright, colorful words:
CHIK'N PLACE!!!
who was the culprit? well, one step inside this newly refurbished restaurant and you will be greeted by its very enthusiastic owner...
the often-excited, very sociable Poultrino! she started off as all of the other Fakelings, a strange, gooey blob-like creature with hunger and curiosity. but soon after going out into the world on their own, she stumbled across a runaway definitely wild chicken, which she chased after with great interest and then gobbled up with glee. but, the feathery snack awakened a strange feeling in her, such a delicious taste, she wanted to share it with all the world! and thus gave rise to the fifth and final Fakeling...
and now, all customers are happily welcomed at her humble Chik'n Place! there is chicken of all kinds there; chicken wings, fried chicken, chicken nuggets, living chickens, anything you could possibly want, as long as it is chicken! (and all VERY legally obtained, she wouldn't THINK of pilfering chicken from other establishments for her own....) and not to worry, she is very polite and welcoming to anyone who wishes to visit! as long as you are not also a chicken, or a tasty bug or rat.
their appearance and body are quite unique amongst the Fakes as well! and though she is still made out of simple Goop like the others, her "skin" is fairly soft and smooth, almost feeling like soft fuzz despite having no real feathers! her legs, tail, and "fleshy" parts are the same gooeyness as standard Fake Peppino though. despite her strange appearance, most customers assume she's simply in costume, and very few are any the wiser as to their true nature.
though, one more very important fact to mention... you didn't think they worked alone, did you? of course not, all that Chicken isn't going to serve itself! which is why the first person to enter her restaurant was taken happily hired as the first employee!! say hello to Sue, Poultrino's favorite and only employee!! (credit goes to my wonderful friend @plebbicinnabun-arts for coming up with her! 😊✨)
she helps prepare and serve many of the chicken dishes! (and makes sure that the stuff that's served is actually edible when possible...) and not to worry, her boss treats her with great care! she is paid well in a salary of both "human currency" and delicious chicken-based foods! it might just be very strange trying to explain her job to friends and family.
but together, these two help run the Chik'n Place, and Poultrino finds decent success at running a business! her Papa is very proud of her.
#phew! and with that... all of the Fakelings have been introduced completely! ✨#i do hope you've enjoyed them all! they have all been very fun to make... and perhaps there will be more seen of them in the future? 👀#i am very very happy with how Poultrino's turned out as well! she's one of my favorites... and some wonderful friends have helped with that#once again thank you Plebbi for helping create Sue!! (and many wonderful Poultrino drawings as well) 😊✨❤#my art#pizza tower#pizza tower oc#fake peppino oc#october 2024#fakelings#there are quite a few more details i would've added to the post but it's already fairly long!! i can add a couple here in the tags though..#Poultrino's cry sounds like a combination of both a frog's croak and a chicken clucking! a very strange sound to hear indeed...#and they have a special way of ridding things that can't properly be absorbed inside of them! in a similar manner to owls with their pellet#-any unabsorbed contents will be expelled in a thin shell of hardened goop shaped just like a chicken's egg!#... not the way a normal chicken does of course. but every so often you might see Poultrino spit up what appears to be a normal egg.#just be wary of the contents... you'll likely just find liquidy goop and bits of bones and plastic inside. no yolks to be found here...#and one more fun fact! she loves rats just like her father! if any ever make it into the restaurant they will be rid of-#- just like a normal chicken would! it's bad for business to have rats around but at least getting rid of them is quite delicious!
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more.. more shokoyuki.. pleekk..
Ask and ye shall be given
#they are so special to me in that theyre completely unserious#yuki is alive what are you talking about#shokos not scarred by the deaths of her best friends#the rest of the jjk cast exist solely to worsen the misunderstanding#i love drawing yuki as the silly goose she is like YES she is a badass but shes also a klutz at feelings let me have this#shoko is my beloved exhasperated queen#but shes obviously a bit of an idiot at feelings too#like 'heehee hoohoo let me leave this dead body for a minute i absolutely have to reply to the obnoxiously glittery love letter yuki sent'#everyone sees this except for her#and yuki obvs#if you ask shoko shes the paragon of rationality#although clearly that doesnt apply to blonde menaces#shokoyuki is such a better ship name than what i pitched last post everyone ignore me😭#sorry about my chicken scratch btw but its all i can muster at this ungodly hour#welp!#shoko ieiri#yuki tsukumo#shokoyuki#shoko x yuki#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen fanart#wlw#chiquilines draws
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