#no but there’s smth wrong with me for real lmao i’ve been so emotional these last few days

[jeonqkooks]

last night i was going through my to-read list and i found out that so many writers i know deactivated and that got me so 🙁 like i know we’re all strangers here and we only ever communicate anonymously through a phone screen but still, why is it so sad when somebody leaves

[iheartmoons]

asks for you bc i’m bored

fav food?

fav drink?

fav show?

fav subject? (i feel like i already know this one but i might be wrong so)

fav snack?

comfort food?

weirdest food you've ever eaten?

most out of character thing you've ever done?

wallpaper?

if you could have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

any phobias?

is there anything you’d wait in line for a week to do, see, or get?

if you could name your brain, what would you name it?

where do you want to travel the most?

you don’t have to answer all of them or any at all if you don’t want to!! they’re very random lmao

you can answer privately too if you’d like <3

OMG HI i should be sleeping but this is more fun:

(strap in bc it turns out that i cant choose anything for the life of me, and i enjoy oversharing)

fav food: i cant….choose. being a basic bitch id say like chicken curry and rice bc idk 🧍‍♂️it’s good. but uhhh i love chinese food generally, like oh man. duck pancakes w the cucumbers and sauces and uh, the noodles and the pork and chicken and dumplings and bao buns (i am aware this sounds terrible to others, but i am drooling)

fav drink: ooh oreo milkshake, or if we’re talking standard drink from the shop, specifically fanta fruit twist (it’s also the colour i would dye my hair btw). my go-to is always generally water tho 🤭

fav show: i cant choose…. maybe like friday night dinner, she-ra, and strong girl bong soon

fav subject: english <3

fav snack: OH um. i love choc chip muffins or choc chip cookies tbh, also brownies!!!!

comfort food: any type of chicken curry and rice

weirdest food i’ve eaten: i really haven’t eaten anything weird. i don’t eat any red meat very often apart from pork, sooo idk. (i’m thinking meat wise here btw) i guess i’d say pig intestines - look it sounds bad, but if you think abt it, lots of people are eating all the other parts of the pig w/o thinking about it. my bro once ate crocodile at a farm once tho which was pretty wild (apparently it tastes like chicken)

most out of character thing ive ever done: see i cant really answer this because i’m just so different in diff situations or w diff people, but i honest to god think that it’s saying i love you to all my online friends. like. id never ever do that in real life. i find it extremely hard to show my emotions, it’s so awkward and uncomfy.

wallpaper: for a moment there i couldn’t decide whether u were asking abt my literal wallpaper or my phone wallpaper…. i’m still unsure… but my lock screen is reg and sirius, and my home screen is the marauders. and if ur asking abt my bedroom, i got lilac walls 🙈

if i had an unlimited supply of smth, what wld i choose: ohhhhhh oh. fuck idk. ummm money??? lmao 😭😭😭 maybe time with my cousin (she’s my fav person and she doesn’t live in the same city + she’s going to uni after next year so my chances of seeing her are slimming)

phobias: the ocean/any big body of water, death (big big emphasis on this one) and ummm like dolls and clowns- actually i’m scared of so many things, the list could go on and on

smth i’d wait in line to see/do/get: i’d wait in line for a hug from mitski tbh

if i could name my brain, what wld i name it: WHAT SORT OF QUESRIONS ARE THESE 😭😭 good lord. id name it the fucking universe. i had this thing when i was younger where i started this universe and kept building characters upon characters until there were hundreds and i knew each of their intricate storylines and id act them out and it was actually bad bc i couldn’t focus on anything else for literal years (there you go, big moons secret - not rlly a secret, i’ve said it before) so yes. there is an entire universe up in my brain probably.

where do you want to travel the most: i wanna go to the south of france + tokyo + venice, but i heard it’s not all that. my fav places that i’ve been to are vietnam and america which r two very different places and i adored them - vietnam more for the food and culture and surroundings, american more bc of family + tourist attractions + theme parks. so. maybe one of those wins.

[afriendlyood2]

Well I put tw for suicide topic here bc ya know // Now that my fiancee and his ex landlord had some beef which I kind of cooled down (yay) I could rethink the whole mechanic of this 2020 scandal and this year

Also youtube essays have a point tho - we can have wife beaters in hollywood with careers, new sexy wives and zero actual damage to feel for them everyday and beside them somebody like Britney and such ppl (yet the Britney climate is moving at last, but the years of shit she faced… my god) 

I mean

I saw it within feminism discourse - they beef like hell within, and even blame if you will retire from a gender war for dunno… mental health? Lol

Like not to mention the whole thing was totally parasocial - there was not much a direct conversation going on (this is I immediately avoided within the landlord beef - I wrote to him directly, so this rat talk could go away just from the start), but this happened on a society scale from this girl’s class till two large cities… And you know, society can be nice or not nice - but it likes to eat raw meat, ngl.

So get this - I did criticize this girl for misogyny in her fic, and even after attempt of a friendly conversation - from which I remember even now that she was basically just a teen with interests, yet yeah environment of hers seemed unlikely - but she did not mention the school bullying, so my guess that did happen after…yet this long hellish beef with her mother which went to her fic… yeah, that was readable somewhat - she didn’t scream for help tho. She probably would trust me more if I would not be an adult judging that’s where my regret is from - yet… uh… I was a sjw with blogs yes, but not a professional in the field - and later I was criticized as I was which is uh…

I get why her than-time bf is parasocial and was - as I was an adult he viewed me as a ‘power figure’ without addressing uhmmm the fact that I’ve been bullied myself in school, afterwards curing depression and meeting more bullied teens like me. I get the game, yet I am not a social worker or smth. But somehow they confused me criticizing the sjw twitter as I am an activist and I fell into the same cognitive distortion because I thought, assumed - that the person stalking me is just doing it for a woke position itself and not for something connected to it. So even my sis remembers me tweeting “I am deleting my blog, I was such an woke activist yet that went wrong” - which was funny lmao I didn’t know why EXACTLY ppl are after me tho, nobody actually told me in the face, this was all the gossip and this guy + my ex boss screaming somewhere - I do get humans being dramatic sorta, but this went into chaos. I mean I assumed I was stalked by some political far right social media group or smth - I had like ZERO idea what’s actually up. I criticized sjw twitter as somebody who went to REAL EVENTS ™ and saw real activists and even took part in huge studies in tolerance and discussions on the matter - most on sjw internet don’t do even THAT so I kinda went with “go out touch grass” attack yeah. I wasn’t ACTUALLY a practicing activist myself and I do acknowledge that, uh. Yet I get why this bf of that poor girl was misguided by my posts - they were emotional, so was him and the girl, we do that. My ex boss as well. Just the Facts ™ were lost in these emotions normal amount. Fact is I get this image of these classmates going at her from the white savior position and rolfing from her without empathizing with this long conflict with her mom, which was still going on out there. They are all cool and progressive and she is so dumb and hateful - that’s what they would be likely saying, or maybe she also got some shit from the fact she wrote exactly a gay fanfic - like Kharkiv was homophobic normal amount, I’ve been knew. She and her mom hating on each other, me not listening to her because of her angry language, classmates laughing at her and her bf calling me an arrogant fake ho - this is all addresses which problem exactly can you tell? Women being hated lol. Ironically I addressed this, which smh ended up in 1) my ex boss shitting me for my colleagues rape jokes on me 2) me - I agree - being arrogant to a human I could help 3) with facing hell for not doing it to be a correct feminist activist whoever because I did not have experience and discourse did not really have the instruments to be taught to me - I do have an empathy, but as a human I can be blind and not notice something, without being cruel tho as I can swear on my ass I do not wish any girl to be bullied to the suicide! Yet I can’t tell myself how the social media-gossip-this public chaos works, I am not a phd in media studies sadly, we got that shit in our uni after I started studying sadly, welp 4) well not only her dying from these shitheads, but also me doing two attempts after the backlash…. whew. Uhm. This coulda go the other way tho. 

Also my ex boss as I recall mentioned that the wife of a nice colleague who was mr positive of the whole office died from burnout or peer pressure from my happy posts or???? Him attempting the kms thing after her death??? I empathize with it and I also experienced the peer pressure to the borderline suicidal thoughts, AS I did experience the bullying in school - and I do not support or encourage these things even tho I do or did have shitty social skills that might lead some conversation to go wrong???? That caused me to develop them btw. 

But like BRUH I do have bad focus, I may not notice some details, and I am not a pro in saving ppl or something, but this parasocial madness as I am some local cyberbully of the year with an insane power (from dating a dev as they say…………………………………..what?) (they hated me for not having a man before btw) (whaaaaaaat) sorry why am I treated like some uhhhh war criminals kinda should be? Or wife beaters at least COME ON??? And abusive parents, yes. And abusive bosses and colleagues, YES. Bruh I am being clumsy, arrogant and rude - I know, but how bout we start addressing the responsible ones, by the power dynamic thing? The class, mother, russians who attacked the country this poor woman had died in after the burnout from activism in mY AGE (she was 30 as well). Why me as the message man ™ aka the lady with a blog who talks shit somehow is the main villain? Yaaaaa’ll the villain has a gun here don’t ya think? I talk shit. I am not a cannibalistic abusive bully here. I can help. DAYMN. Nobody likes bad news I guess.

Confession of the most arrogant sjw ever, aw shiiii

hello, I have a flow of thoughts about hyperreality, digital instruments, fandoms and anger and arrogancy...

and mental health of course

so basically many influencers before my unpopular and even cancelled ass already noted that we have entered this digital agenda era when gadgets are stealing our attention and overwealm our brain to the point that we forget our own thoughts and real world around us

and that is their very agenda, as digital marketing specialists are batteling for the space on our phone screen and seconds of our attention, and public speakers and polititians are battling to drag us into the discourceTM bc "how can you be out of politics you ignorant jerk the world is on fire" etc etc. many described these mechanisms before so I won't repeat what they have said already, it's out on Youtube and many otehr resources.

and also many said before me how fandom discourse went to shit... well, it was shit even in my youth... we would battle over this problematic bullshit even by that time which was the early social media era of late 00s - early 10s (now it is even more radicalized though, to my horror)

but I as a millenial am horrified of how gen z and gen alpha folk are not yet realizing where it will get them in 10-15 yrs time... it will get them in hell, as I as a 30 yrs old millenial see from my own exeperience. some of them won't even survive mentally and I am even not overstimating the problem, as this is also real.

back in the day we had this cursed AOT fandom. I knew a girl from my city (I was in early 20s she was still a school teen) - an easy imaginable situatuion, as the fandom is mostly made of these age people. notable mention - by that time culture geek culture wasn't open to the self critisism sentiment yet, actually the opposite - geeks were made cool, "brainy is the new sexy" bullshit was sold to you by sherlock bbc or the big bang theory or shit like that, so geeks and especially millenials were HIGHLY arrogant and gatekeeping (i mean uss callister was yet to happen, in the meantime we actually head star trek into darkess coming out tbh). add that to the western way of white saving everyone and pull the discourse from a higher position of somebody morally dominant and 'progressive' and you will get quite a sick mental cocktail to spoil everybody more or less geeky and intellectual stepping into the online fandom game, especially if you faced bulling in school before that or smth... that shit alltogether can make you this arrogant main character with savior complex, fr, and I am horrified to see that in modern fandm teens cause THEY HAVE NO IDEA where it can lead them, yet I sadly do.

well /dark batman music theme/ let me tell you where it can get you you little arrogant social justice dick reading this

back in the day I as I told you I knew a girl who did some AOT fanfiction which you guys as I did by the time would call problematic. because that's what you see online right? a person writing some hateful words in their art online. basically puting a negative emotion of hate and only that emotion, not what stands behind it and creates it - you're to arrogant to see that, so you judge that little hateful teen (the fact that we are making teens feeling negative things 'problematic' is some sick shit to begin with in the first place - they are teens they are SUPPOSED to feel these things, the world is going at them, come on). that fact that I was arrogant to judge her even though we had an attempt at friendly conversation and understading each other... basically it locked her up - if a person judges you, you don't wanna talk to that person, you close from that person right? yep. that's what she did... as somebody who was ACTUALLy bullied by everybody by the time, literally by everybody from her social circle - and she WOULD tell me if she would trust me enough and if I wouldn't judge her, thus I would give her shelter orgs and psychiatrists or smth, I knew some by the time so could help.

thing is the girl - tw here - killed herself. I got to know that stuff from her then-time bf who came in his riddler era to avenge me later in 2020 and for damn sure he hated my arrogant ass as I was an adult who knew his gf and had recouses for giving helo yet not the knowledge of the girl's sutiation, and not to mention we are from the same city btw. bruh my mental image crumbled right before me and in intence karma hit I tried to repeat this girl's fate TWICE since 2020, and second attempt was here in Krk after I escaped Kharkiv in 2022, this year's June. I considered myself not worthy of life and happiness because I didn' see her troubles back then.... ugh.... call that catholic gulit of smth, but I am eating myself to this day. many say - this doesn't help actually and you need to live and help the living, not to crumble over the dead ones. but for damn sure I feel the guilt EVEN THO I am not her abusive classmates or older 'protectors'.

Social justice is sometimes arrogant and blind and it SHOULD NOT BE goddammit, stop and reflect on yourselves - are you really that morally right?

Also dear gen z and gen alpha

Those who have an ok social circle of family and friends - pls drop ya phone and get to them RIGHT NOW. For those who escape to the digital world from abusive surroundings - bruh some of us out there are arrogant as shit, but please tell your pains and seek for help I beg ya, and seek for shelter in REALITY, cause YOUR REALITY is abusive in the first place and just running into the virtual world sadly won't save ya, you need a safe space irl as well fr.

That's my message of this awful Batman Daredevil and oh my god Lenny Bellardo kinnie I am in my 30s. It is not told in calm voice, I am screaming here to ya. Shit will get fucked fr. Take care of these things pls.

P.S. as tho my arrogancy in that interaction was real - these folks, oh the irony, used my guilt to put not just her death on me (even tho it's on her abusers), but also the mess in the workplace of my ex boss - not to mention she later put the death of an ex colleague on me (jeez she died because of being overwelmed by activism she did during the war so this is ON OUR ATTACKERS DAMMIT) cause it was so suitable to force me into guilt for something I am not responsible for, so she and these folks became as ugly in social justice as I am LOL. Such an irony of things turning back at them right? All these people are Ukr refugees like me btw. We all have to learn fron this.

[ghost-ghost-baby]

Yandere reactions to a s/o that’s suffering from nightmares.

a/n: lmao this is a way for me to procrastinate sleepin bc like,,, my nightmares have been real bad lately, if any of ya relate i hope this comforts ya or smth

requests: open

Izuku

Sweat clung to your body as your eyes shot open, wide and searching around in the dark room. You were shivering despite being drenched in sweat, somehow managing to untangle yourself from Izuku and make your way to the bathroom. Thank god that boy slept like the dead. You splashed cold water on your face, tired eyes mirrored back in your reflection made you flinch, you didn’t think it was that noticeable. Your hands had moved to grasp the edge of the sink, knuckles white as you tried to push images out of your head.

“Y/’n, why’re you out’f bed?” Izuku appeared next to you, half asleep and rubbing his eyes.

“It’s nothing, ‘Zuku, just a bad dream.” You were shocked at how shaken your voice was, the tone catching Izuku’s attention and waking him up immediately

“You didn’t wake me up?” A frown coats his face for only a second, “You’re so sweet Y/n! Not wanting to worry me! But you’re mine, I gotta take care of you!”  The boy was crowding in your personal space, ushering you back to the bed and mumbling about what he could do to cheer you up. It was comforting, you couldn’t deny that, you’d grown to love the way he fussed over you. Izuku tucked you in, after he’d made you some warm milk, watching until you’d drank every drop. He took his place at your side, making you face him, arms wrapped tight around you, mumbling comforting enough to get you back to sleep.

Katsuki

“I told you Katsuki, I’m fine.” Your voice sounded tired even to you, and your denial only increased Katsuki’s rage.

“Like hell you are, Y/n! You look like you haven’t slept in days!” Your boyfriend was seething, and he caught the way your eyes shifted at his words.

“Y/n, fucking don’t tell me you haven’t been sleepin.” The blond stepped closer to you and your teeth dug into your lower lip, eyes refusing to settle on him. You were too tired to fight, and honestly you’d like nothing more than to just be able to lay down and sleep, but you couldn’t.

“Why? You can’t even do that fuckin’ much for yourself? You can’t even get yourself to sleep, huh?” Katsuki had backed you back against the bed, and you only shrugged in response to that. Your body dropped onto the bed, hand coming up to stifle an obnoxiously loud yawn.

“Why are you doing this to yourself, Y/n?” Katsuki’s voice cracked, your boyfriend turning away to hide how hurt he was.

“I wanna sleep, Katsu, it’s just… bad dreams.” You shrugged, biting the inside of your cheek and refusing to look at your boyfriend. A hand grasped your chin, lifting it up until your eyes were met with piercing red ones, emotions you were too tired to decipher swirling within them.

“Bad dreams? Why didn’t you tell me, it’s my job to take care of you.” He hissed, pink dusting his cheeks from how worked up he was.

“I didn’t think it was-”

“I don’t give a shit, if something is wrong, you tell me! Got it?”

“Okay Katsu, I promise.” You nodded, eyes watering as you stifled another yawn.

“Good, now you need to get some rest, I won’t leave your side.”

Shoto

You’d been distant all day, trying and failing to process the most recent of your nightmares. Shoto didn’t see that, however, all he saw was you being distant, and he didn’t like it.

“Y/n, we need to talk.” He gently took the book you’d been reading out of your hands, dual coloured eyes dark with worry. You tried to put on a happy face, despite how… torn up and disturbed you really were.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“What? Shoto, baby, no! Why would you think that?” You were the worried one now, leaning forward to clutch his hands in your own.

“You’ve been distant… and avoiding me… you do that when you’re mad?” Shoto was confused, sure he’d done something to anger you.

“No, you haven’t done anything… I’m just, thinking about stuff.” You smiled, head tilted to the side in the way Shoto adored.

“About what?”

“I… really don’t want to talk about it Sho.” You shrugged, face going dark again as what was bothering you resurfaced.

The hand on your thigh heated up, a warning you oh too easily recognised from the early days, and you were quick to explain.

“I’ve just been having some unpleasant dreams, they’re too complicated to explain but I’m okay, Shoto, really.”

“If you’re sure? I’m your boyfriend, Y/n, you should tell me if something is bothering you.”

“Of course, you’re an amazing boyfriend Sho, my dreams are just too fractured to make sense of.” You finished your sentence by pressing a kiss to his cheek, knowing Shoto was pleased when he gave your book back before cuddling up to your side.

Tamaki

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Tamaki pulled you out of your thoughts, the boy staring up at you from his favourite place, sprawled across your lap. Your hand was tangled in his hair, silky strands carded through your fingers.

“What makes you ask, Tama?” You avoided the question with practiced ease, not missing the way your boyfriend frowned at your answer.

“You’ve been acting strange, and you look tired, you don’t even nap with me anymore.” The tone he had was sad, blush covering his entire face from the confession.  You didn’t say anything, brow furrowed as you thought about what you could say.

“Do you not… love me? Anymore?”

“Tama, of course I love you.” You leant down to press a kiss to his forehead, “You’re my everything.”

“Then why-”

“I’ve been avoiding sleeping, I got sick of all the nightmares I was having.” You did your best to keep your voice cool, not wanting him to worry. Tamaki shot up, knocking you back in the process and a startled noise left your mouth.

“What do you mean nightmares?” He leant over you, worry etched onto every feature.

“I’ve just been having really bad dreams lately, Tama. I didn’t mean to worry you.” You shrugged as best you could in your current situation.

“You should’ve told me, I could have helped and then you wouldn’t be as tired and-”

“Baby, calm down.” You laughed, reaching up to pat his cheek lightly. “I’m sure it’ll sort itself out soon.”

His worried expression didn’t budge, however, so you switched to something different.

“Do you wanna take a nap together?”

[cutwwater]

About the mun

In general:

Real name: ene Nicknames: shrug Age: 25 Sexuality: pansexual Preferred pronouns: any Are you a morning person?: i try 2 be...........but no definitely not lol When swimming, do you prefer to do it in the ocean, or in a lake?:  i like both but smaller lakes are also kinda nasty idk... everything is slimy and anything could be wiggling around down there i’ve seen enough horror movies 2 know

On Tumblr:

Anyone you would like to meet in real life?:  idk everyone lol i love makin friends Anyone you have met in real life?:  i used to meet ppl on tumblr at cons a lot but tbh its been a while since i’ve been that active on tumblr in general When did you first join? How old is your current account?:  i joined in 2011 with a personal and started rping in 2012. this acc is super new tho it’s just from a few months ago Any peeves?:  character hate and white-knighting, ppl in the community either hatefully condemning or forcefully justifying a character for their morally ambiguous actions..... Unpopular opinion:   i have seen ppl in the fandom saying u cant love eridan, gamzee and vriska, that everyone who loves one hates the other one or two.  well, allow me to prove u wrong bc i love them all

Feelings:

Do you easily get jealous?:  hmmm only when it comes to very specific things Do you easily get angry?:  it’s rly hard to set me off unless u offend me, and it’s also pretty hard to offend me so nope Are you easy to cheer up?:  not most of the time lol. when i’m sad i’m usually sad until i sort through it myself What’s the most hurtful thing someone could do to you?:  idk honestly don’t rly even care to answer that What’s the most hurtful thing someone has done to you?:  pass on that 1 too lmao Are you good at hiding your emotions?:  irl no lol but i have trouble expressing them online jhgfdsjgf i don’t always know if how i come across accurately reflects how i’m feeling u kno What’s the very best way to cheer you up?:  talking abt smth were both passionate abt!!! i find smth about connecting over a mutual passion with someone rly uplifting and energizing, even when things are rly tough

Relationships:

Are you currently in a relationship?:  yea Do you currently have a crush on someone?:  my gf >:) If yes, might that someone be reading this?:  nah i wish shed join this comm tho. she writes hs sometimes but only privately >:( Do you kiss on the first date?:  perhaps Do you prefer going out, or staying home, when it comes to dates?:  going out definitely, i like dates when they’re exciting full day excursions go hard or go home

Things:

Favorite drink:  chamomile tea hfhmsdhgfhdsjg Favorite food:  authentic chinese and japanese cuisine.....the spicier the better Most calming place?:  lying in the grass in the sun. tho as long as it’s warm, there’s some nature and some sun i can and will chill Most stressful place?:  probably my own home lol... even though i live alone i’m just healthier and happier when i get out a lot and stay social and i don’t always do that enough Most prized possession?:  i mean i got a lot of old stuff from my childhood that’s priceless to me but if we’re talkin abt prized possessions maybe my homestuck shit... like my 2012-15 calendars and other collectibles i’ve got... i’d be so sad if they were ruined or smth cuz they r special and not replaceable

[imbeccablee]

5, 8, 13, and 19!

(this got a little long so im putting it under a read more)

5. Share one of your strengths

rex my good dude you could NOT have picked a harder thing for me to do. how dare you try and make me compliment myself.

anyway, uhhhhh probably my overactive imagination? or something? like, honestly, i’m kinda constantly thinking about my WIPs or possible fics (which is obvious if you look at all the abandoned one shots in my drafts lmao). But like, I’m always thinking about stuff to write and that has led to some of my favorite fics i’ve written, like Warm Pancakes or smth.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and why you’re proud of it

“Um,” Krel hesitated, the question burning his throat. He tried another approach. “Could I… stay with you, tonight?”

Aja rubbed one of her eyes, propping herself up with her two right arms. “Huh? I mean, yes, but why?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Aja nodded like that was an acceptable answer and slid over to make more room. Grateful, Krel crawled beside her and sighed in relief as Aja’s arms wrapped around him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” Krel turned his head so his face was half buried in one of Aja’s pillows.

Aja giggled sleepily, rubbing her hands up and down Krel’s back. “That’s okay, little brother, we do not have to talk. We can just sleep.”

She closed her eyes again and her hands stilled on his back. He looked at her for a few moments before sighing. “Aja, um…”

“Are you implying Princess Aja is bondless?”

“Yes?” Aja’s eyes were open again, looking at him patiently, oblivious to how the light gray and void black mocked him.

“I’m just saying it’s very much in the realm of possibility. “I mean, think about it. Aja passes the time in which children normally have their corebonded declared, and suddenly the royals are incredibly hush-hush about the subject? 

And, well, I guess it doesn’t exactly matter, what with Prince Krel and all. It’s not like when you’re a royal there’s any real reason to have a second kid than to have a backup in case the first one doesn’t work out for whatever reason."

“Um…” Krel faltered. “Do you ever think about where your corebonded might be?”

Minutely, Aja froze. If he hadn’t been so close to her, he probably wouldn’t have noticed. “Er,” she stammered. “O-Of course, Krel, who doesn’t?”

“Well,” Krel paused, the words stuck in his throat. “Most Akiridions, apparently, since they find their corebonded when they’re young.” Aja flinched. “And I just… I just wonder about ours,” Krel plowed on. “Like… imagine, being brought before the royals of Akiridion-5 and it being revealed that you are cosmically bonded with one of the royals’ children.” He forced out a laugh. “That’d be—That’d be crazy, right? Imagine.”

“Krel…”

“And then… I was just thinking about how devastating it would be if that were to never happen,” he said, and Aja stared at him. He swallowed hard and continued. “I was just thinking about how there might not be some Akiridion kid who walks up those steps to Mama and Papa and is declared to be bonded to one of us. I was thinking about how, when our ceremonies happen, what if one of us doesn’t find our match on Akiridion-5. I was thinking about how we might not… find them at all.”

Aja’s lips were pursed together now, and for a moment she just stared at him. Then, “Krel, you know that’s not—”

“Aja, why didn’t Mama and Papa declare your corebonded?” Krel interrupted.

“That’s—I—”

“Why haven’t I met them yet, at least?” Krel continued. “Why haven’t you explained how pretty everything is in color yet? You’re passed the age where they find out, right? So what happened?”

“Krel, nothing happened!” Aja cut in. She sat up abruptly and moved away from him, and Krel immediately missed the comfort that came from her close presence. “It’s just—complicated.”

“I don’t get it!” Krel sat up too. “Why are Mama and Papa breaking tradition and waiting to declare ours?”

“Because—”

“Why were you so tense at the announcement todelson?”

“That’s—”

“Everyone has a corebond—right?—so why haven’t you found yours yet?”

“Because I might not have one!” Aja finally shouted. She flinched and looked away from Krel’s surprised expression, her hands balling into fists.

Krel stewed in their silence, feeling both ashamed and desperate for a different answer. Finally, his sympathy won out. “I’m… sorry, Aja, I shouldn’t have been so forceful.”

Aja sighed and tucked some hair behind her ear. “No, it’s… I would’ve been curious too…” She opened her fists and looked down at them. “Mama and Papa said that them not finding my corebonded doesn’t mean anything besides that they’re not Akiridion. They said it was totally and completely okay and normal for this to happen, but…” She shook her head. 

“But… you kind of feel like you’ve let them down?” Krel guessed. He mimicked Aja's position, wrapping his arms tightly around his knees. “And that they were just saying that to make you feel better?”

“Er, yeah.” Aja looked up, surprised. “But why do you…” Krel gave her a lopsided smile, a look in his eye saying you know. “Oh, Krel, you know they’re so proud of you. They love you so much.”

Krel sighed and looked at his feet. “Yeah. I know. It’s just hard to really feel it sometimes, especially when I also know I’m not what Papa really wanted in a son. I’m not exactly your average prince.”

Aja giggled and punched his arm lightly. “Who would want an average prince when they could have a genius one like you?”

Krel smiled, still sad, but grateful. “Thanks, Aja.”

“So…” She sidled up beside him again, leaning against her propped up knees to look him in the eye. “Are you gonna tell me what brought on the corebond stuff?”

“I…” Krel broke eye contact. “I overheard some of the staff talking a couple delsens ago and it… I dunno, I guess it got to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing too weird, I guess, it’s just…” Krel shook his head. “They were talking about you… and your possible corebonded.”

“Oh.” Aja looked put out again.

“And then…” Krel continued. “They… started talking about me.”

Aja’s face switched from melancholic to furious so quickly Krel reeled back a little. “What did they say about you?” she growled and Krel felt a little better knowing Aja would so quickly defend his honor.

“Not a lot,” he quickly replied. “Just… Well, they just implied something, and it’s making me feel… weird.”

“... What was it?” Aja asked slowly.

Krel rubbed at the faintly glowing gray lines going around his feet. “When they were talking about you, they implied that Mama and Papa wouldn’t have wanted you as their heir because of your corebonded. Which isn’t true of course!” Krel quickly amended, seeing something dark cross through Aja’s eyes. “But… then they said that was where I came in. That I… was only made in case something went… wrong with you because it wasn’t likely that I, too, would have a non-Akiridion corebonded, and that it was “only right that only Akiridions take the throne”.”

Aja laid a hand on one of Krel’s. “Oh, Krel, that’s not true at all.”

“I… know,” he said, but he hesitated and Aja noticed too.

“Mama and Papa love you, Krel,” she insisted.

“I know,” Krel said. “I don’t… I normally don’t doubt that.” Aja gave him an exasperated look that he ignored. “It’s just… all I can think about now.”

“Don’t listen to some gossip, little brother, it means nothing. Who cares what a few staff members think? We are a family, and nothing will ever get in the way of that." Aja shrugged then. "Besides, I'm sure they only say that sort of stuff to let out some anger. I mean, we may be wonderful people, but even the most patient Akiridion would get frustrated after waiting hand and foot on us all delson, right? I know I would."

Krel laughed a little, the coil of tension in his spine relaxing some. Aja smiled gently at him, though he could see the worry in her eyes. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Krel said.

Aja giggled. “Of course I am. I’m your older sister.” Krel smiled and relaxed further when Aja wrapped two arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. She leaned her head against his and Krel softly sighed, the emotions that had kept him wound up for most of the delson finally dispersing and leaving him quite exhausted. Although his concerns hadn't completely gone away, he did feel better after talking about it.

They stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s comfort, for a long time. When they finally did move, Krel bashfully asked, “Can I still stay the night?” to which Aja replied, “Of course, dummy.”

They laid back down and cuddled closer. A few moments passed after they relaxed and Krel said, “... Thank you, Aja.”

Aja hummed then replied, “Any time, little brother. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

---

this is from my Tales of Arcadia fic, Starcrossed, from the first chapter. i dunno, i just really loved how this turned out! i had spent a lot of time on the whole chapter before i finally posted it, and i think i really nailed what i was trying to establish with their relationship with each other, their parents, and themselves. i reread it a lot, along with Warm Pancakes.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Probably the one that’s like, write the thing you want to read. Forcing yourself to write something you think others would want can be miserable, and like writing should be a good thing. You should be proud of the stuff you wrote and look back on your old stuff fondly. It’s ten times easier writing the stuff you want to write than making yourself write stuff you think other people want.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

ah probably not? like, what defines a muse? i write because i like to write and because i need to vent somehow and because i’m good at it. i guess you could say i’m my own muse, in that case.

[frankensteindotpdf]

TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :) 

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but  this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real)  just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul  when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

[maribelsawyer]

- ̗̀ * ( ella purnell + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( maribel sawyer ) walking around campus ? they are a ( nineteen ) year old, studying ( journalism ). we hear they are in ( delta gamma chi ), and can be ( benevolent & impressionable ), maybe it’s because they are a ( gemini ). they sort of remind us of ( scraped knees , magnifying glasses , vintage oxfords ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + newspaper writer

god okay looks like i’ve fallen in love w ella purnell and i want to b her. anyways maribel is my newest baby n im sorta making her up as i go so pls bare w me lmao

TW: eating disorder mentions, subtle abuse?

{she is not currently in that mindset ^}

gen. info

full name: maribel ottoline sawyer

nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk

b.o.d. - june 1st, 19 yrs old

label(s): the marionette, the demure, the prevaricator, etc. etc.

height: like 5′3″ prolly tbh

hometown: duluth, minnesota

sexuality: shit she don’t know

bio. info

her dad’s in the air force, her mom’s published three diet cookbooks and two different DVDs--maribel is the only middle child

one of those conservative, all american families, they were strict and definitely made it known that they were parents and not friends by any means

9pm curfew, not leaving the dining room until all ur food is gone, grounded if ur grades were below their expectations, etc. etc. 

her older sister can evoke emotions in others thru her acting like no other. has taken the hearts (and leads) of all her acting directors since childhood. her voice is broadway material.

and her older brother? has been the best linebacker on any high school team he’s joined; hopes to make it to the big leagues. but if he doesn’t? he’s been taking college-level classes since he was a sophomore.

and...maribel?

maribel is...just, maribel.

for the longest time, there was nothing special about maribel

she couldn’t sing, or dance, or compose words in pretty prose

her grades were only satisfactory after hrs n hrs of studying everyday

homegirl can’t even cook w/o smth exploding

in short, maribel has never been good at anything. can’t draw within the lines, can’t follow the line, opens her mouth at the wrong time. etc. etc. shit? rough.

ANYWAYS

her family moves around a lot b/c of her dad, so she’s never really been in one place long enough to really prove herself? always been the quiet girl in class while her siblings brought home gold stars everyday

the kinda girl others would sorta push around n bully a lil bit bc she would never know what to say; prolly just cried a lot tbh

grew up w a lot of insecurities b/c of this

definitely doesnt help that her mother is obsessed w beauty n fitness n like

their mother p much forced her lifestyle onto her children, mari has a rough relationship w food b/c of it

ANYWAYS part 2

grew up always in the shadows of her siblings and their accomplishments, and spent a lot of her time tryn find something to be good at just so somebody could give her a stamp of approval

was always the ~wannabe~, the girl who would just endlessly suck up to the most popular girl she could find and try to mimic her to the best of mari’s abilities, just so she could survive her school experience

by the time mari was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and she finally thought she could have a normal school experience and make something for herself

obv not. her mother shipped her off to a boarding school in nevada and that was it; her sister had already graduated and her brother was still in middle school.

it was finally just mari.

of course like she tried to suck up to others but it wasn’t really helpful, everybody was a lil too boujie for her and she always froze up when she tried to speak to the ~popular kids~

they only rly spoke to her b/c she’s got this knack for forging shit, like i dont think she even has her own handwriting; she always copies other people’S b/c she’s just. so used to tryn to mimic others n be them as much as possible

around this time she found herself fucking around in her computer class more often than not; it’d been the only elective left b/c she arrived in the middle of the year

but she surprisingly enjoyed it, like, a lot

her parents never really allowed much computer use b/c like. rots ur brain or whatever.

got into programming, but when she found out that u could ? hack shit ? kinda peaked her interest.

her shift into programming to hacking was subtle but before she knew it, she was fucking around on websites for the fun of it. never anything severe

computers became her friends, y’know

that was until her sophomore year and there was another loser fucking around on the computers during lunchtime

and like...they just started kinda talking, y’know? became friends, prolly mari’s first legitimate friend in...forever, really

the kid was kinda weird but she didn’t mind b/c fuck, mari couldn’t be picky n she didn’t mind weird

like...they were obsessed w conspiracies n mysteries n shit

it started to rub off on mari too, b/c homegirl is an idiot but. an observant idiot.

so she started getting reeeally into mysteries and shit. started acting like a mini investigator w/ her pal; solving stupid things like ‘who wrote ‘mindy is a whore’ in the bathroom stall’ and ‘does mr. roberts have a secret obsession w kpop’

no mindy is not a whore it was slander

yes mr. roberts is into kpop

ANYWAYS part 3

so they were these nancy drew, scooby doo, veronica mars knock off duo

by junior yr her partner started getting into like. drinking and minor drugs and other things that the other boarding school kids were smuggling in, y’know. 

this meant that mari was getting into that shit too, y’know. cant stay innocent forever.

became a lil bit of a pothead lmao

so like now theyre just stoners who go around solving shit and prolly also stirring shit up for the hell of it

so like . . . . . one night they were doin’ their thing, right? and her partner brings up this...completely wild idea

they live in nevada. y’kno what else is in nevada?

area 51

these fucking idiots want to go break into this fucking. air force base. to find area 51.

guess what they did?

they attempted to break into the air force base. like. of course they tried.

they failed like, super miserably, got arrested for trespassing and had to be bailed out of the county jail by their parents

her dad almost lost his job so he was mcfuckin PISSED esp once they figured out she was high as shit

her partner? disappeared. nobody knows where they went.

mari was moved from the boarding school to a public school closer to where her mother could, begrudgingly, keep an eye on her

kinda spent the rest of her high school career p miserable, she gave up on her whole ~detective~ thing and resorted to making fake IDs for her fellow high schoolers

was drug-tested like every week or so, too

around this time her mental health and relationship w food got worse, she barely made it to graduation. took a gap year to recover, worked a buncha jobs but usually gets fired from them b/c she’s really fucking bad like most things besides her two (2) unconventional talents that are decidedly useless

came to ucla b/c her mother p much made her, her mother’s a legacy and that’s about the only reason why she got into delta gamma chi

doesn’t want ppl to know she was a loser and also like . fucked up her dad’s life a lil, b/c it was def a thing that made the news and the only reason why her name wasn’t in the articles was b/c she was a minor at the time

so she like...lies abt her childhood a lot

tells a lotta lil white lies b/c she just. doesn’t wanna b her

uuuhh wanted to do computer science bc she loves it but her parents were both like ‘lmao we’re not paying for shit if u do that’ bc they don’t think it’s very ~ladylike~ n they still want her to like. just be submissive and obedient n shit.

so she took up journalism b/c neither her parents think it’s like a real career and they just want her to find a husband n get married n settle down n stop being troublesome

fun fact: she has a scholarship for being lefthanded so that pays for Some of it esp b/c she’s an out of state student

still struggles a lil bit w food but she’s like. doing a lot better. goes to group therapy, probably

uuuh that’s it for now i think ??

OH SIKE !! she’s a writer for the newspaper and writes ADVICE columns on various topics b/c she’s good at offering advice but only when she can sit down n think abt it lmao

^^she goes by an alias b/c she just. doesnt want ppl to know its her idk she thinks its embarrassing

other than that she’s probably like ... doing campus tech support b/c that’s her current job but who knows how long that’ll last lmao

knowing her she’s going to accidentally switch into her phone sex voice (another, old job she doesn’t do anymore) n get fired for tryn seduce a man with ‘did u try turning it on and off again?’

OKAY i think that’s all lmao

personality

mari is just. awkward, man

i mean like...she’s sorta bad at talking to others a lot of the time??

like ppl r kinda like ‘how tf r u a delta gamma chi girl’ n she’s just like i mean u  h h h h 

prolly stutters a lil bit b/c she’s usually rly anxious

but she’s v v nice, like, she tries her hardest to be a good friend n everything

but she also kinda switches her personality to appeal to whoever she’s talking too ?? like she wants to be. likable. she’s not real w/ others v v often

if ur boujie yeah she’ll pretend to be boujie too

she prolly still sells fake IDs to high schoolers n some of her college peers, she has one herself n hasn’t gotten caught yet sooo

always fidgets like she can’t rly sit still often b/c she’s so nervous

is a lil bit of a stoner but i feel like u can’t ever tell tbh

a lil shy n hesitant at first i’d imagine, or maybe just always lmao

has a bit more of a personality once she sucks it up n gets closer to u but she’s always v v cautious abt befriending ppl just b/c she’s had a bad time w bullies n her one friend in life disappeared so like...bummer, y’kno?

can never say no. like, i dont think it’s in her vocabulary. she’s a yes gal.

will p much do anything u ask of her b/c she’s constantly seeking approval

can ramble a bit when she’s nervous which is always but she also apologizes like a lot.

squeaks like a mouse

present at parties but it’s always kinda like. who r u. n she has to remind everybody that she’s a sorority gal too

considers herself v v forgettable, like, just v unimportant

like she’s just rly insecure

still does computer shit n is still rly good at it but she hasn’t done anything srs w/ it so it’s just wasted potential

going to use her journalism degree to do investigative journalism and maybe escape her parents, eventually

she just. bends easily to other’s wills, y’know? she’s hashtag soft

even tho she’s like. shy n awkward n shit it doesn’t take a lot for her to like, laugh, or smile

like she tries rly hard to appear happy n an optimist n just like. unfettered

a lil plain jane we stan

i cant think of anything else but she’s. she’s a good kid

OH she’s rly good w numbers n math but like that’s abt it. she’s a whole dumbass on everything else sometimes

is bad w talking n giving advice like in person but like ?? in her column or ovr text or smth ? she’s good. she’s concise.

is a good team player/good w/ projects/etc. etc.

OH OKAY YEAH

she’s rly observant n b/c she’s a lil bit of a compulsive liar she can usually tell when ppl arent honest

depending on how close y’all r she’ll prolly crack down on ur bullshit

but she’s also timid so like who knows tbh

this isn’t a personality trait but she wears like medium hoop earrings all the time n it’s cute ok bye

OK OK LAST THING

she’s so. fucking. clumsy. she will bump into everything. she’ll bump into the air. fuck, she prolly falls over just standing straight. usually has bruises n scratches from just being a clumsy idiot

like she can b a lil ditzy y’know ?? doesn’t have much common sense, sometimes, n can b naive but idk it’s all rly dependent on her n who she’s w n just. how i end up playing her lmao

lovs vintage. is cute.

wanted connections

her roommate uwu

ppl she’s interacted w/ during her childhood !! she’s moved around a lot so like . . . . they could kno each other

mmm sorority sisters

um gimme a ride or die or like a best friend or smth PLS she needs more friends

just more friends in general. she’s awkward but she needs ‘em

?? a one night stand ?? she’s not really . . . known for hooking up w/ ppl but i think an accidental occurrence would b fun!

idk somebody for her to just. crush on from afar. prolly stutters whenever they come near or talk to her or smth

^^i mean like an unrequited crush

SOMEBODY USE HER ! RUIN HER !

FRIENDS OR FUCKING OR WHATEVER

fake friends too! use her for her ~kewl skillz~

bad influence

let her b a good influence

some kinda...skinny love idk what that means. a will they wont they. smth cute. smth pure

it’d be wild if her partner just popped up outta the blue like that b/c mari 100% thinks they were like killed by the government

ppl she gets high w n talk abt conspiracies w/ tbh

ppl she gives or has given advice to w her column pieces ! love it

idk partners in a class

enemies or smth. i want conflict.

a tutor for her dumbass

but also anybody who needs help in math? she can tutor u

idk like this we can work a lil smth smth out

i give u one penny, if u plot w me. pls. i am poor.

[bb-bambam]

i was tagged by @exoyell (like...a week ago lmao but anyway) THANK YOU! <3

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: water

2. Phone Call: my mom

3. Text message: my family group chat lmao

4. Song you listened to: with you by bap

5. Time you cried: yesterday

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really lmao

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: ya

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12-14. purple, pink, red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yeah!

16. Fallen out of love: no lmao unless u count like...me loving bts

17. Laughed until you cried: sooo many times lmfao

18. Found out someone was talking about you: no?

19. Met someone who changed you: not that i’ve noticed

20. Found out who your friends are: uhh ?? i mean i guess?

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yeah lmao my two exes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all except one who i met on here!

23. Do you have any pets: two cats!

24. Do you want to change your name: nope

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went out for dinner w my family

26. What time did you wake up: 11:15 and i was still DEAD tired

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: showering lmfaooo my family had just gotten back from the airport

28. Name something you can’t wait for: studying abroad in madrid!!! i’ve been waiting literally 7 years and now it’s almost about to happen!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: today lol i still live at home!

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could stop overreacting to every single little thing!! i have so many fears and stuff and my emotions are ALWAYS in overdrive! i hate it

31. What are you listening to right now: the day by jj project

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: several but the one who stands out is my orientation leader from college lol

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my inability to finish the fic i’ve been working on for LITERALLY a year

34. Most visited website: tumblr or youtube lmao

35. Elementary: does this mean did i complete elementary school? bc yes lol

36. High School: graduated a year ago!

37. College: currently about to start my second year!

38. Haircolor: some people will say it’s black but. it’s dark brown

39. Long or short hair: currently it’s shorter than it used to be but still pretty long which is how i like it

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no unless taeyong counts i guess LMFAO

41. What do you like about yourself: my hair and sometimes my writing

42. Piercings: one in each ear and my left nostril

43. Bloodtype: NO idea lol

44. Nickname: adt security, adidas, aditz

45. Relationship status: single

46. ??? lmao me too

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: i haven’t watched a tv show in so long but i guess either avatar or merlin

49. Tattoos: if i ever got anything it’d be a really small one of a lyric i like or smth

50. Right or left: as in right or left handed? right

51. Surgery: i’ve had my wisdom teeth removed

52. Piercing: lmao this is the same question as before?? or is this if i want any more?? if so: maybe another on my ears? but probably none tbh

53. Sport: i used to play soccer

54. ??? what IS this lmfao

55. Vacation: just came back from florida!

56. Pair of trainers: i have 2 pairs lol one for running and hiking outdoors and one for the gym

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing

58. Drinking: nothing again

59. I’m about to: probably go thru bap’s vlive channel to find a video to watch

60. ??? why

61. Waiting for: info on bap’s comeback (sorry for being so bap focused but GOD i’m Tired of waiting!)

62. Want: to stop being tired all the time maybe? thx

63. Get married: i hope so one day!

64. Career: honestly idk but the dream is maybe like nasa or somewhere that deals w space

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs tbh

66. Lips or eyes: LOVE eyes

67. Shorter or taller: for a significant other? taller

68. Older or younger: also interpreting this as for a significant other so generally i prefer older...the limit for younger would be like a year difference at most

69. ??? what do these mean

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms?? idk i don’t particularly care for either

71. Sensitive or loud: both? i guess if i had to choose then sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship lmao i could never hook up

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhh honestly?? neither??

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope

75. Drank hard liquor: just small sips

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t need them so no

77. Turned someone down: yeah and it was traumatic tbh

78. Sex on the first date: i would never but i don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if that’s what you like

79. Broken someones heart: hopefully no but idk

80. Had your heart broken: no lol

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: ya lmao

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: most of the time no lol but occasionally when it comes to my writing yes

85. Miracles: i like to think miracles do happen

86. Love at first sight: attraction =/= love so no

87. Santa Claus: i did at one point

88. Kiss in the first date: i personally wouldn’t do it but again...to each their own!

89. Angels: nah

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: avani! but if we don’t count my sister as my best friend then sam and neil

91. Eyecolor: light brown

92. Favorite movie: uhhhh maybe the martian? or wonderwoman or spiderman homecoming

i tag @exo-kings @yieniall @dongbangsoojjp @tadaeshi @jungkookies-cookie @itsjjptime @jjpartners but ofc you don’t have to do it if you don’t want!

[ravenvsfox]

I know you have already done a lot of the ship posts (and they are all phenomenal and accurate af) but can you pretty please do Jesper and Wylan from six of crows/crooked kingdom? Xoxo

I’m SO sorry this took so long, you’re such an absolute sweetheart and also christ I’ve never been called an inspiration before holy.. god

also heck i love wesper this is a treat

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU… 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

don’t.. do this

they’re genuinely so good neither of them would ever TRY to hurt the other, and they’re both so tender and apologetic if they ever do. I think I’m gonna have to say jesper though just because. he’s still a little stirred by his addiction (to trouble! to bringing two guns to a gun fight! to gambling! to love!) and he’s got some jealousy and sensitivity baked into him, bless him. I feel like he’d run a risk and break Wy’s heart by accident, a little bit

who is emotionally stronger?

a genuine toughie bc they’ve both survived and persevered so MUCH. I think in terms of immediate reactionary instincts, Jes is better at letting bad vibes roll right off of him. He’s made of smiles. He’s trouble and a good time rolled into a waistcoat. If you insult him he only gets stronger. Wy was raised in silk and champagne but he was raised BY an absolute monster so. he’s a very bruised peach. criticism pierces him v easily. Though in a more fundamental way, wylan has fashioned his past trauma into a shield. by the end of ck he’s building himself new emotional strength with his bare hands

who is physically stronger?

ohhh man. They’re both noodle boys. Wylan is too smart for exercise. Jesper does his fighting at a 20 metre distance from his target. Jesper is bigger than wylan but most of his size is gangly and delightful and awkward. I think jes could probably still beat wylan in a pinch, but I’m more caught up in how funny it would be to see them try to fight it out

who is more likely to break a bone? 

man I’m tempted to say jesper just bc he seems like he would be...... brittle. I think he gets into scrapes a lot. I think wylan starts to get into p frequent scrapes by nature of being the sixth crow. I think the both of them are so busy worrying about each other’s fights that they neglect their own and trip off a building or smth

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I think wylan can be a nasty piece of work when he’s pissed enough. like he may be a silk eared puppy but he’ll chew your shoes and track mud around if you forget to feed him. jesper doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body man, I think he’s a sarcasm queen and a joker but he’s definitely not mean

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think jesper’s constantly assuming he did something wrong and he sits down with wylan 100% serious like ‘babe.. im so, so sorry. I never wanted to be the sort of person who made you look sad like that, we’re past that, I truly made a promise--’ and wy would be like ‘what no I was sad bc a screw on my flute is loose and I couldn’t practice today’. but also yeah if it’s a serious fight they make up in a rush, and they laugh at themselves, and they use their energy for something better

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

here’s the thing about the crows man, they’re always sustaining minor injuries as a team and it’s a win if they live, right? All I can picture is the roar of activity when they pull off a job and they come back limping and bleeding and swearing and crowing w joy, and jes and wy take their seats opposite each other and clean wounds, kiss foreheads, smooth back sweaty curls, squeeze hands, make promises. the routine, u kno

who is in constant need of comfort? 

uhhh both of them (it’s always both my guy jot that down). Wylan has 16 years of shitty imposed self loathing to unlearn, and traumatic experiences all over him. jes has lost a lot (including his mom) and he struggles with addiction so like. yeah they both need comfort. they both wake up w the phantom feeling of a mother’s arms around their shoulders. they’ve both seen the very worst of humanity. They’re just two nervy, high stress kids trying to figure things out

who gets more jealous? 

lmao WYLAN VAN ECK did y’all read his scenes in crooked kingdom that boy is NOT SHARING. he glared real holes in kuwei’s head guys. jesper tbh is a terrible flirt and a HANDFUL and wylan is happy. to have his hands full. no one else.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

mmm nahhh

who will propose? 

u bet ur ASS it’ll be jesper. Imagine wylan’s blushing face...... he’d do it for that alone. tbh there’s probably a point in their relationship where jesper’s outrageous flirting isn’t enough to get that pretty blush from wylan like he’ll roll his eyes and shove jes in the shoulder and w/e but they have to have increasingly ridiculous conversations about kinks or w/e until that blush comes out. jesper’s like ‘dang. guess I gotta step up the romance. what’s the most romantic thing? marriage? marrying wylan? son absolutely where do i sign’

who has the most difficult parents?

lmao lm a o lmaooo Lmao LMAO lmao

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I feel like depending on the social climate of Ketterdam, hand holding might not be on the table?? especially for two criminals associated w the bastard of the barrel like idk man I can’t picture it. they don’t want to draw attention to themselves (well i mean. jes wants to. but they can’t). I think they’re all about sly glances and the most obvious smirks you’ve ever seen, and brushing shoulders!! brushing shoulders are their makeouts

who comes up for the other all the time? 

they’re always together man bf’s that blow shit up together and live together stay together so like they rarely have the opportunity to talk about each other. howEVER jesper probably mentions his boyfriend in the middle of a hand of poker w an inappropriate smile or gushes to w/e prisoner he’s breaking out of jail or makes Kaz’s day weird by trying to confide in him

who hogs the blankets? 

wylan is exhausted w luxury and jesper is a child who wants to be held so he rolls over and then over again so that wy always wakes up to a lapful of boyfriend and a roll of blankets and he has to wait for jesper’s heavy sleeper ass to arise so he can get up to pee 

who gets more sad? 

booooth -- jesper is understated sad with a side of unnerving frowns, wylan is a wobbling mouth and clenched fists. Sometimes they stay in the Wylan Van mansion and lock the doors so the maids can’t come in, and they bring the lavish decorative pillows into a heap on the carpet and feed each other sweets and rub each others backs and laugh and laugh the darkness away. wylan sketches. jesper poses. there’s scheming & kaz impressions. jesper is a storyteller and he imagines out loud what nina or inej are up to at that very minute, controlling gravity and hearts and the sea and their lives 

who is better at cheering the other up? 

see above ^^ they both go pro at the comfort olympics. Jesper is that little bit better though. He’s a sweetheart with all the right words in his pockets. He knows how to chop wylan’s dad down like the overgrown dead tree that he is. he knows how to flirt a smile onto wy’s face. he maybe lacks delicacy sometimes, but he’s so fun and wholehearted and warm that he can’t really go wrong

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this is canon y’all, jesper is a lecherous bastard and wylan is equal parts disdain and delight. he absolutely will slap a boy

who is more streetwise?

god bless wylan but he knows a hell of a lot less about the streets than jes. He’s learning fast by the end of ck, but he’s still very sheltered in a lot of ways. Jesper has a few years under his belt, and he’s.. like tbh he’s a part of a gang so. He’s seen a lot. He’s participated in a lot. He has a pretty steep list of kills, same as every other survivor out there. He’s detached from the deaths but he’s been on the other side of a lot of bullets that have crumpled people up and thrown them in the trash. He knows his business, too. He knows Ketterdam. Well. Wy knows the half of it Kaz wants him to see.

who is more wise?

Wylan is utterly brilliant and Jesper is wholeheartedly here for it. What was that line again? ‘you’re cuter when you’re smart’? Wylan can think his way out of just about anything, the world belongs to him. jsyk

who’s the shyest? 

Wylan absolutely what a sweetie. I mean a lot of it stems from unfortunate self esteem issues and a history of being burnt but a lot of it is pure soul deep candy sweet embarrassment and not knowing what to do w his own cute face. He doesn’t know how to deal w people a lot of the time. he knows sheet music & formulas. he does not know how to look at a boy with beautiful lips all curled up at him and not pass out

who boasts about the other more? 

jesper is loudmouthed usually and he’s that much more loudmouthed when he’s in love, catch him talking to anyone who will listen about wy’s stupid face 

who sits on who’s lap? 

jesper would definitely try it, don’t even test him, he would fold all his crane limbs into wylan’s lap and say ‘hello peaches’ and wylan would have to slide both of them onto the floor to escape his embarrassment. on a good day, jes’ll scoop wylan into his lap and he’ll feel quiet, for a while

[roublardise]

I was tagged by @the-space-enby!! thanks I love those things! 

In general:

Real name: Karten 
 Nicknames: Close ones called me K and this letter is mine now sorry nobody else is allowed to use it. 
Sexuality: Asexual, aro-spec panromantic. 
Preferred pronouns: okay already with the hard questions? all of them tbh, you can’t get it wrong with they/them and I switch with he/she. 
Are you a morning person?: I’ll say yes but late morning. Like after 9am. 
When swimming, do you prefer to do it in the ocean, or in a lake?: in a pool??? if the water is clear and I forget there’s fishes maybe I’ll go in a lake?

On tumblr:

Anyone you would like to meet in real life?: okay this is very silly but I’d love to meet @datmoki? ;w; I have a feeling it could be fun to see each other one day!!!! (serious answer is: I wouldn’t mind meeting some of the sweet mutuals tbh) 
Anyone you have met in real life?: I’ve met dat sibling @datmoki lmao. And dat @wonchesteeeer! Tho we didn’t meet on tumblr so idk if it counts. edit: ok so I was so focused on ‘which person I know from tumblr have I met’ that I forgot dat amazing @fullmoondagger!! ;w; When did you first join? How old is your current account?: 2012 was my first year here (I joined on christmas 2011) so damn it’s been way too long. 
Any peeves?: Too clean hands. Friends who don’t tell you when they have a problem with smth you do/did/said but still expect you to understand that they got a problem with it. Unpopular opinion: Friendship break ups are worse than romantic ones. I don’t want a Yuri!!! on Ice’s season 2. (I said two bc I couldn’t chose)

Feelings:

Do you easily get jealous?: Kinda, especially with friends. But I learned how to deal with it. 
Do you easily get angry?: I got anger issues so yep. Otherwise it depends on the subject & context. Like someone purposely pissing me off about stuff I care about deeply, just bc ‘that’s fun’, is one of the Most Annoying Thing EverTM and I’ll feel like punching them for weeks. But I can deal with some little annoyance.  
Are you easy to cheer up?: To 100% cheer up, no. But it’s easy to make me at least smile when I’m feeling down. 
Are you good at hiding your emotions?: I thought so but apparently not at all. I’m not often trying to hide them tho. What’s the very best way to cheer you up?: Jokes, tea and plushies (& hugs). Watching good rom-com/teen movies can work but it must be use carefully bc it can also make it worse, depends on why I’m feeling down.

Relationships:

Are you currently in a relationship?: Nope Do you currently have a crush on someone?: lol yes. still don’t know if it’s gonna become a serious crush or nah. hopefully it’ll go away in few months. lol. 
If yes, might that someone be reading this?: Probably not. Do you kiss on the first date?: I guess it’ll depend on who I’m dating? If I already kinda know them since a long time or not, idk.  Do you prefer going out, or staying home, when it comes to dates?: Both are cool. Chilling at home is cool but going out can be great too, there’re many things to do outside?? just walking, sitting near the Loire, going to see a musical, book stores!! As long as we don’t always do the same thing.

Things:

Favorite drink: Green mint tea.  Favorite food: A tartiflette tbh. And hamburgers but like, with reblochon and lots of french fries. Most calming place?: Used to be my bed, it still can be some days. Somehow, empty public bathrooms have to be in this list. The table next to the tiny fish pond in my parent’s garden. And near the Loire. Basically somewhere near calm water: I can’t imagine living in a city where there isn’t a river or a lake or smth. Bonus points if there’re flowers. Most stressful place?: My room at my parent’s, since I spent my worst days of depression there, I’m currently working on making it a calming place again. Any doctor’s waiting room. 
Most prized possession?: My spinning ring! And damn too many things. I’m pretty sure there’re stuff worth mentioning but I can’t think of anything rn except books & every single gift I ever got.

I’m not tagging anyone, except is someone wants to do it, then I tag @you!  

[kkukkung]

"kiho is... fascinating rly" what do u mean 👀

their relationship dynamic is v fascinating and fanfic fuel.. lov the way kihyun... needs to win... and wonho kind of lets him........ but also they’re v tender idk LOV this photoset... ykh is always 100% serious when he attacks ??? but then he’s a very... aftercare guy.... bye

more asks under the cut (dated newest to oldest)

u kno that thing kihyun does when he has the camera where he like...tilts his head back a lil and shakes it a bit. it cute

hate 2 admit this but he rly is.... v c*te... v sexy 2 when he’s BEHIND the camera and he squints and grits one side of his teeth... ok ok ok ok alright alright alr

i dont rlly think hoseok is bi i think hes pan like if hes in love he doesnt rlly care what gender they are

mmm i use the two v interchangeably bc currently i don’t think there is a clear distinction between them? what u said is the traditional dictionary difference but a lot of bisexual people identify with that too and a lot of pansexual people don’t? like from what i’ve been observing, the bi = binary genders/more than one gender, pan = all genders thing doesn’t rly seem to help that much in establishing the difference btwn them? for example........ i usually say im bi irl and pan on tumblr just bc of the difference between levels of lgbtq understanding under varied contexts... but that obviously doesn’t apply to everyone... so yeah frankly i’m still confused abt the difference between them and i guess... just letting ppl fall into whatever they think is right for them is the only way to go? but like tell me if i’m getting smth wrong here lol. also i saved the url pansexualwonho shfjdkgj

hello bunny do u have a wishlist

no and get off my blog stinky

leave ur gf for me

what does it mean when ur gf has a bf and ur also kind of seeing kakashi hatake?? :/ are we all dating by association??

wonho looks like jooheon and IM sugar daddy in that picture or something....

jshgjfk i think this was abt the units teaser photo right? (x) tbh i feel like jooheon looks more sugar daddy here but wonho has a lot of potential... he’d definitely Spoil the person(s) he’s dating :/

I just checked and the members of that new variety show minhyuk will be in are all giants, they are all above 180cm, well besides actually minhyuk lolz it's kinda funny, but I guess he won't need to make himself seem smaller since he's the tiny one this time

my breath hitched when i read this ??? aaa ur right... tbh i don’t know how im going to... survive this show bc it’s... so blindingly... visual?? have high hopes for it i know he’s going to do so well... and ummmmmMM imagine him... making himself XXXXXXXXXXXXXS precisely bc he knows it’s going to b cute n like... tucking himself against eunwoo or smth i might die

YOUR TAGS MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!

THANK U?????? 💖💖💖💖💖 cute anons make me happi :’0

to reaffirm you as a wonho stan: you have 149 pages filed under wonho on your blog but only 118 under minhyuk. however i believe recently 3/5 of your posts are minhyuk posts.

this felt like it was heading somewhere but the second half jfkhgsj i mean,,

do you know where that picture of kihyun and the join forces with communists or end star wars picture is from with his hand up on a bluish greyish wall i rlly like his hand there u know and I think that we sHould join forces with him and he's right we need to make a stand for it but anyways if u know where the pocture is from may u pls share it thnx I lov ur blog lots

@marxistkihyun

[nsfw text warning] i was reading this wonhyuk fic and thought of u immediately archiveofourown org/works/10314092 mostlytop!mh slight daddy kink mh takes extra care of wh :') enjoy

UH ANON................ HOW DID U KNOW....... EXACTLY WHAT I LIKE...... AND THIS LINE... THIS LINE... “He likes Hoseok, but he likes when pretty girls tie him up and sit on his face too”,,,,,,,, rly the best lmh characterisation i’ve ever read sdjkfgh gbye this was rly sweet and well-written and realistic and i think??? i lov u?? and i lov my poly + bi boyfriends :(((( thank u sm for the rec i rly enjoyed it

i'm east asian too and non-asian ppl keep telling me that "rat" and "snake" are racial slurs and i've never heard of such a thing until i joined kpop fandom (rly recently). if you want my honest opinion it's another one of those things where like... overzealous SJWs nitpick terminology and project on POC even tho they have never experienced it themselves... idk. i rly have never heard any of those terms used against asians before as racial slurs...i've seen other asian fans also question this

(regarding this ask) yeah lmao i mean............ the more i think abt it the more i feel like it was ??? just such a strange thing to have been told... and the way it was said as well... like “this is a racial slur so don’t say it” feels condescending ?? like, me, an east asian person, being “educated” abt racism against east asian people by an anon on the internet for a post that had zero connection to race and terms taken way out of context (that generally aren’t racially charged anyway).... ok lol

Wonho decided to change the title from ^give it to you^ to ^524^ I wonder if it's because of their debut date or something similar?

yes~ 5.14 is their debut date! it was also the time on the clock in the teaser :3c but it still doesn’t rly explain why he changed it? strange bc i thought the song would b emo bc of the changed title but it was kinda.. boppy?? sounds more like a “give it 2 u” than a “last page” hmm but gotta hear the whole thing first ig

I have the impression that Wonho is a sensitive person, he can get hurt easily (but won't hold grudges) and carry his emotions for a really long time. I think he tends to delve in his emotions and thoughts constantly and is thoughtful of when/how he should share them to not burden others. He's ALL IN for his members, trying to cheer them up and tying them all together [rmbr when he made JooHyuk hug to avoid misunderstandings or when he gave Jooheon the biggest sweet potato] in a subtle way.

yessssssssssssssss yes i don’t have anything to add here yes yes yes he’s just... the best guy :(

The Monsta X/GOT7 Psychologist ISN'T A psychoanalist. AFAIK Psychoanalysis avoid archetypes, because the patient can use it as a excuse. Also, to psychoanalysis there isn't a cure, there's only a savoir-faire which means you won't change your past, but you can change how you feel about it, sometimes being able to extract lessons from those painful memories. Psychoanalysis works with words, the way we phrase things is how we conceive reality. So don't underrate your literal analysis+observations.

aaa thank u sm.......... i rly learnt a lot from u thank u v insightful.... pop psychology is fun but ig we have to be careful to not... confound it with the Real Thing and hold mx to it?? anyway thank u sm for taking the time to type out all ur asks they were v helpful!

wonho has honestly tried to kill minhyuk an incredible amount of times but in the end always remembers he can't commit murder in front of a camera...........................

idk wonho choking minhyuk was rly the hottest thing ive ever seen jsfhg bye God I Wish That Were Me

in that live where u said minhyuk tapped wonhos bicep with his little alien claw was honestly was so c*te... especially the contrast btwn mh featherless chicken feet fingers and wonho thiccness..... wonhyuk are rly so comfortable and natural with each other like u can't rly see it but it looks like wonho let go of the camera with the arm that was being tapped to hold minhyuks hand/wrist..................................................c*te

uh put thi s on my grave...... i love wonhyuk sm i could die :( they rly lov each other sm jkdgfhsdjkgfhhkkdg

Hellooo!

henlo rabbit

maybe im just naïve but starship ent. is overall an alright company - with all groups they promote they seem to be fair and equal and overall supportive :/ which makes me rlly thankful my children aren't being neglected;;

ahh yeah i think on the whole they’re not bad with mx... apart from when they didn’t send members to the hospital after they were in a literal car crash??? and idk just not great promo times and minor organisational things.. bc they have a certain amount of faith in mx the investment isn’t too shabby. but with like... other groups... like boyfriend...... idk ?? they were just shipped off to japan and never heard from again? and even sistar i mean, the conditions they worked in at the beginning was appalling :/