#no but stressful moments aside
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zo’s sunday
(@ef-1’s photodumps always inspire me to do my own hehe 🤭)
#1. promised the family i’d make them french toast#2. the best way to watch an f1 race is on your ipad while you’re folding laundry (not)#3. forcing everyone to watch my favourite x-files episodes#4. bigger desk means switching rooms which means pre-measuring things with tape (very stressful)#not pictured: impromptu trip to costco (also very stressful)#no but stressful moments aside#sundays can be so lovely#f1#personal#photo dump
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#larian can patch it all they want and say that the MC will be more likely to appear in the cutscenes#astarion WANTS to be in the cutscene and he WILL be in every cutscene while the MC just stands behind him#IN MY HONOUR MODE RUN I PLAYED A PALADIN WITH ALL THE CHARISMA IN THE WORLD#AND I WAS SO PREPARED TO TALK YURGIR TO DEATH#YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED#OH YES#ASTARION IS THE ONE IN THE CUTSCENE AND NOT MY PALADIN!#“STAND ASIDE PEOPLE; LET MY 10 CHARISMA SHINE!”#i was so stressed in that moment#because i hadnt planned for a fight#who reads this anyway#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#bg3 astarion#baldur's gate 3 gifs#baldur's gate 3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#bg3 gifs#baldur's gate 3#my edits
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"But Odysseus' jetpack" The serious part of Epic the Musical and the one that is up for debate and criticism is the songs. Not the animations. I didn't think that needed explaining.
#epic the musical#I'm actually not sure I need to say something but that's never stopped me before#yes the creator collaborates with the animators but that doesn't mean anything to me aside from the fact that they respect his wishes#and if he wants every saga to have a boss battle video game style then I don't have to treat that seriously nor should I#if one day it is turned to an actual musical or has a serious animatics production then yes those would be up for critic#but I do wonder why people are so hellbent on not having fun nowadays#signed: a greek#because if one of y'all comes to me with how he should respect the odyssey then that could turn into a thesis#and I cannot stress enough how much I don't have the time for this at this moment lol#so yes be aware that I'd be one of the first to have an issue if there was an issue to be had#also reminder that the odyssey's genre (aside from epic) is and always will be fantasy because there are gods in the story#you can't be okay with odysseus actually holding a bag of winds and then draw the line at using them to fight poseidon the way he sees fit
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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yearning for soft but desperate touches tonight boys
#puppy barks#ftm nsft#ftm ns/fw#hornyposting#pet pl@y#puppy sub#dumb puppy#pet pl4y#p3t play#mlm puppy#mlm kink#sorry guys i got hit with a severe “am i even a thought for you“ moment and I just wanna be held and told that im worth it#wanna be treated like a toy because at least then i have a clear use 💯#wanna be owned because im terrified of you growing bored of me like everyone else and putting me aside and going for the next fun thing#wanna be held and treated like a silly puppy because im the one who always protects and comforts and im about to crumble#im not doing good 😍🫶 sorry for acting like a fucking crazy person i just feel like crying all the time from all the stress#if you read this don’t uh. don’t look too deep into it I was just having a moment
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re: last anon i definitely think it comes from the uhhh whole threatened thingy. Since most of y3 is. Well. Uhm. Daigo Coma Hours we spend a lot of time w/ that guy in a threatened state. Hence the more “violent” interpretations bc. Well. his sillyguy’s in a coma. Though I’ve definitely seen Mine’s more… stressed (for lack of better words) state being misinterpreted as his natural state and I can see how that would lead to more frequent violent kirinmine takes etc. (Hopefully this is coherent I am soooooooooo tired rn)
for Last Anon
#snap chats#even throughout y3 tho mine's generally calm even when we know he's probably stressed out internally#he's very level-headed despite it all- it's only the end with kiryu where he really loses it and we see How stressed out he is#like of course there's the plane That Was Unnecessary but its with kiryu where he gives a verbal outburst and he's at his wit's end#we know what im saying ? like even under presumed stress mine still presents as calm and as if he knows what to do next#the plane incident was mine acting 'in defense' of daigo not wholly an act of stress (tho he could have been as well)#like once mine stabs the man he's done and over with it and calmly goes back to his seat. he's very 'careful' in how he acts#he doesn't do more than necessary and has restraint. for the most part#it takes a lot for him to be skittish or 'pressed against the wall' so to speak- like with kiryu calling him out#we see this 'calm visage' break when he shoots at kiryu and yells- and we KNOW this was done out of stress because he misses#Shit Shot Mine jokes aside he can aim when he wants to as shown by rggo- he was really just In The Shit in this moment mentally#also with 'violent mine' takes Personally i think its just funny JVLEKJVAEKL like pl e a s e relax.. ... it is not that serious mine...#and theres little else much cooler than seeing a giraffe god start stomping people and how else to do that but through violence#honestly i feel like ive actually seen more depictions of kirin mine be gentle and just Chilling.....#BUT thats /my/ internet experience. Long Unnecessary Ramble over sorry i didnt meant to write a thesis#i just like thinking about mine...
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Sometimes I like to admire Kae's new skin and think of aaaall the little gaps where someone could press quick little kisses against
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Sneaky lil kisses on his neck and shoulders/collarbone when they're close/hug#//Bonus if they chose to gently nose aside his braid rather and just move it by hand#//Having him sitting on sb's lap and they press a quick kiss to his bicep#//Or them sitting then in the process of standing doing so#//Gently touching along the lil gap on his back while he's straddled them; as their lips brush over the little spot over his chest#//Making him topple over the desk and moving for the spot on his back-#//hdbkgrg#suggestive#//I GUESS just for that last one jhdbfhdfg#//Anywho now that that's there#//I've seen so many fanarts where the shirt under his vest has an exposed back and I kdfjhbfkg#//THAT is precisely what made me think of this lol#//His partner grabbing him Firm by the hips and pressing kiss after kiss along his back while he just Squirms and chides playfully at them#//Esp if he was tryna get all dressed up and they caught him before he could get the vest on#//Like 'Stahp; the goal is clothes ON-'#//But the sheer Intimacy and sweetness of that very series of kisses while getting UNdressed is so good too#//Not even for smut reasons really; even#//Him feeling exhausted after a day's fun and trusting his partner to help him get undressed without wanting much more out of it#//Them seeing how Stressed he is and using the kisses to help ease the tension lining his shoulders#//Bonus if they gently reassure him they don't intend to initiate anything; to just relax; they'll be done in a moment#//And it HELPS bc their gentle touch helps keep him grounded; helps him feel a little better after the day's stresses & hustle'n bustle#//He might go a little boneless after tho hdbjgf. But he'd have been SO wound up w stress; the gesture might make him relax a bit TOO much#//And make him just wanna flop back and let them carry him off to bed or a drawn bath they can chill in. That he'd prolly get sleepy in#//If not outright doze off in and become the Grumpiest little mf when they have to wake him up bc they've been in there too long jhdbgkfg#//Which is DEFFO a surefire sign of trust and comfort with sb; bc he'd usually HATE wanting to act like that around other ppl
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fucking ridiculous how driving is so calming to me. hey does that controlled minor new thing you’re doing make you feel like you’re fucking exploding and dying right this very moment immediately? how about you get in this thousand pound hunk of heavy machinery and be the sole person in control of it at barreling speed surrounded by hundreds of other people doing the exact same thing where if you mess up for even a moment you could all fucking die and calm down. and then i do!
#shitpost#something about getting in a car puts almost all my anxiety aside#there are some stressful moments of course but like#ridiculous how effective it is#i think it’s about how in the moment you need to be#so I don’t have time to stress out I need to focus#but either way it’s ridiculous!!
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:)
#was wondering why i was feeling so miserable and Understood. time of month is late and everything feels out of whack#i am fine y'all aside from the occasional sad moment#and the realisation that my hair is falling out because of stress from last term (alae)#alas 😂
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mark of the assassin is absolutely ridiculous on both mechanics and writing fronts, but it is feeding my fenhawke heart.
#&& da2#&& fenhawke#idk how else to describe this aside from it’s always sunny in orlais????#fenris is honestly cracking me up#getting so petty about prosper calling him a man servant#literally complaining at every turn#oh no hawke stepped in the poopy#telling merrill to pls shut up bcs he’s very stressed about the fact that his partner is GONE nO YOU CANT JUST WHISTLE#but also telling hawke they get too involved in other people’s affairs at a risk to themselves#the idle chat thingy going from ‘i am yours’ to ‘as always i am yours’ or smth close to that im sleepy#his banter in the retreat telling hawke that ‘for a moment back there i thought…just don’t do that to me again hawke’#like how is it both THAT CORNY and still have these sweet lil gems#on another note: FUCK THAT SKY HORROR FIGHT FR
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#kinda feeling like#im being someone ousted by self ship mutuals#considering drama earlier this year and#me apparently upsetting someone by a simple comment perhaps I dont#feel like I deserve love or friends at the moment#dont look Im just venting into open air#considering the last 3 work days have been super stressful and Ive gotten like several greys over the stress#i just feel kinda worthless and unloved and not wanted#this isnt about anybody in particular ive just#feel like not matter ehat I post or talk about its like oh wow#and then gets thrown aside for something more interesting#maybe Im not as interesting anymore#not that anybody really cares#maddi vents#dont look
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HYELLO~ work's slowed down a little again, but I'm continuing m'hiatus a tad because for whatever reason I've been super low on energy so I'm not really managing to provide the usual energy I offer, SO UH HI I LUB U THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, CATCH YOU SOON
#;ooc#;psa#ACTUALYL MAYBE IT'S /BECAUSE/ work's slowed down#i was stressing over deadlines and whatnot and dealing with some family drama nothing too serious BUT draining#so now i'm just kind of like... the physical embodiment of a sigh with an occasional spike for whatever hyperfixation manages to -#- grab me for a few moments | watched r.w.r.b and i am in DESPERATE need of the full 3 hour cut#and i don't care what flaws it had it matters a LOT to me now okay#but that nonsense aside i can't really word & write anything in character either so i will catch u soon ;3#also someone called us to fetch a stray kitten found in their garden so we're taking care of a Lil Guy~#hmu if you'd like to see him btw my brother's still gotta give his vote on a name but we seem intent on going with my suggestion#which would be Chili Con Carne (Chili for friends) so we'll see#sorry if i sound very... idk dismissive? or uncaring? i hope it doesn't come across like that i appreciate you folks SO MUCH#i'll catch ya when i'm on track again~
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should prolly make an official update post but im lazy so…
so like we did manage to get some groceries, some cat food, some trash bags which im mad grateful for because holy shit it was getting bad.
but we are not out of the fire yet. my two older brothers are currently facing a housing situation (shitty landlord, shittier apartment, shittiest situation) and both have no income so everything we cook is also given to them, but that’s now splitting groceries for 8 people. my younger brother only eats his same food, and multiple of us have dietary restrictions so to add two grown men on top of that is a lot to say the least
#as u know. our relationship is Mad strained#but like#my mom doesn’t ask for much. she loves them and wants them to eat#and they need to#it’s complicated#we got like 19 bucks left so I’m gonna reblog the post again#I just feel a little. drowned at the moment I guess#this constant flux of WE’RE SO BACK then WE’RE SO OVER is something that like#you only get being a Knicks fan. jokes aside#its scary#my dad is 64 and works. and he’s so young for 65 he still plays basketball he’s very energetic etc#64*#but#I worry#I want a job but I can barely stand and Jeanie’s job literally have them asthma. and fall and winter is usually mad rough here in PA#im just stressed u know#I want to do more#im getting my dexterity back but my arms still hurt I won’t lie#I drew last night and it took everything out of me#its. hard#and ik ppl have it worse#and ik ppl have always been so kind and it hurts that I can’t like.#I can’t repay that#I could never. the kindness of friends mutuals strangers#ugh pls don’t reblog this isn’t an offical update post this is just kinda personal but also like an update for friends who are worried
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Hi i hope you're doing well!
Do you think you'll ever continue Asa and Hayes' story?
100%! But yesterday I had to listen to my neighbor threaten to bomb my whole apartment complex and threaten to also tear someone's face off and eat it because he smokes meth 24/7 and breaks shit and stabs knives into the walls and his equally psychopathic girlfriend defends his every move even when he's threatening to murder her (I think it's their foreplay) so I'm going through a lot rn trying to get the money to get the fuck out and find a place that isn't completely unaffordable (not happening!) before it's too late and we end up killed since they're already mad at us for how many times we've had to call the cops on them for being insane so...it's really putting a damper on my will to live...
The cops also can't do anything because no proof of direct intent whatever whatever, they also are slowly starving her cat to death and killed her 5 kittens but again no direct proof just things heard through thin ass walls and the fact the kittens were gone before they were even 6 weeks old and couldn't survive on their own (and for those weeks they were there the mama cat hid them from the psychopaths in a drawer so they never saw the light of day), but so SPCA can't do shit! It's so fun living here!
#asks#haha i have literal ptsd panic attacks every time i hear them screaming !!! its like i never left my abusers!!#he literslly says identical shir to them its terrifying#how do i exisr being triggered 24/7 and terrified every moment :))))#my entire chest hurts so bad i think im having a heart attack from the stress#and aside from being in pain and fearing the unknwon I wouldn't even care#about not hving to be stressed ever again
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im back at the weight i was four years ago! yay! cross your fingers with me and let’s see if we can make it stick
(this is about weight gain. not weight loss. fuck diet culture and beauty standards. eating disorders are more fatal than any other category of mental illnesses.)
#r#ive hit this point and dropped back down by like 10-15lbs before so x.x we’ll see#that was when i switched to continuous daily use (no off week) on the pill#and i did just switch to a different brand/progestin so could be temporary hormonal weight gain again#but maybe i can keep it on this time?#i dont have like normal anorexia also i have some arfid ednos type shit#and lost 1/4 of my body weight due to medication-induced anorexia 3-4 years ago#so for the moment aside from all the permanent damage to my fucking nervous system its like it didnt happen :)#i dont have proof that the dysautonomia was triggered solely by that fiasco but i mean. thats when it got terrible :)#i have LOOKED but i just dont think the data is out there about what can be expected when one overdoses on serotonin daily for months#and loses so much sleep and weight and goes through so much physical stress#because it would be extremely unethical to purposely subject anyone to that :)#but i guess the psych who poisoned me missed the days they covered ETHICS and also SIGNS OF OVERDOSE
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I find it very funny how much charm stranger things loses for me when the kids stop being kids. like s1 and s2 are so good to me bc the kids are all still babies. s3 is still pretty charming in that regard bc they all look 16 at most, so they’re still very steeped in baby. s4, while good, just so does not feel the same because they’ve all grown out of their baby faces :( why couldn’t they be baby forever :(
#in short: *me staring at the passage of time* dear god what the fuck is that!#and while I do think they’re all great performers I will say#that you can get away with a lot more when they’re actual children 😭#im not saying they’re bad in s4. im just saying I had less awkward moments in s1-3 LMAO#aside from the adults in s3. I still can’t stress enough that I felt like they dumbed down the adults in s3#anyway. what if I watched wild wild country for the 4th time this weekend#i say things#stranger things#also doesn’t help that the teens barely passed as teens even in s1#and now I look at Jonathan and just go ‘that man is almost 30 and you expect me to believe he’s 18? ok’
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