#no but actually though i dont really care we dont know well each other anyway i just thought he was cute

[fraternum-momentum]

im experiencing that dopamine crash after spending so much time hanging out with a bunch of people for a long amount of time

[thesingingrevolution]

reading my diary entry from 8th grade when the boy i liked so much gave me a kiss on the cheek..

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

idk man been sifting through my feelings on all this. and i think what it comes down to is i don't really care/mind that there are non-canonical (BY DEFINITION, if it is not IN the media, it is not in the 'canon', and this info was in tweets) statements about Lucanis' sexuality being demi/ace/him being a virgin. and i'm glad for people who like to incorporate that into their headcanons about the game/interpretation of his character and expand on that more than the game itself does, like, this is our space now baby do what makes you happy!

but personallyyyyyyy i just do not think these new labels are some magic bandaid that solves the flaws in the pacing and writing of his romance. Lucanis never talking to Rook about his feelings as they get to know each other (but sure is willing to talk to Rook about his feelings for Neve if you don't romance him) is not solved, for me, by saying "well he wouldn't be attracted until he got to know you and also has no experience with sex". the same way calling it a "slow burn" did not solve this for me. especially because right up until release he was being advertised as a "bisexual mess". but now was secretly a "panromantic demisexual" the whole time. it just... idk. you can say anything you want online, you know? but if you don't Show Me... well. i also don't like that people who are saying 'well this was Not part of his story in the game so i don't see it' are getting labeled as anti-ace when like, many of the criticisms i am seeing are coming from people who are themselves demi/ace lol. it's not asexual representation bc it is not in the game itself. (though honestly. i AM glad that that was not jammed into his story arc, and that his quests were about his agonizing over his family and the fact that he's now bodysharing with a demon. because his writing was never going to get MORE lines, and to take away any of the ones he had to put in a sexuality arc beyond an offhand mention would have really crashed that because the existing writing barely holds together as is. like there just was not room to have more so personally i am not criticizing Mary Kirby for her decision not to add it. but you can't not add something and then also claim it's a definitive part of his character. plus i dont think a character needs to know/understand/use modern labels anyway).

and personally i DO prefer an awkward/fumbling Lucanis, to be clear. Before Veilguard came out I was never expecting the sexy antivan lover angle because we got that once already: Zevran. I didn't want poor-imitation Zevran, and bioware would not write Lucanis like that to make sure he is a more distinct character anyway. BUT i do think it's reasonable in a bioware game to expect that a romance is going to have romantic content--and the number of times after his cutscenes i literally said aloud "go girl give us nothing" after he failed to react to a flirt was pretty sad. If he's awkward and nervous give him a line where he stutters and doesn't know how to react, not just a blank stare and back to business, or whatever. Or a scene where you can literally ask "you never respond to my flirting do you want me to stop" and for him to say say he likes it but doesn't know how to reciprocate or. ANYTHING. Idk. I have seen 10 different posts/takes on how the Wall Lean Scene fits in, be it that he was imitating a romance novel or it was crow seduction training or he was just pretending because that's how he's seen Illario do it but at the end of the day. It is all just speculation because nothing in the game EVER addresses how wildly different the tone of that scene is from every other one of his romance scenes. And as much as i love the Sexy Wall Lean, given the rest of his characterization in EVERY other romance scene, i think I'm at a point where i think the romance would have been better served by cutting it out and having a different scene where you actually get to talk to him instead.

but! that is not the game we were given. we only have what we have, which is the Veilguard content by Mary Kirby, and The Wigmaker Job written by Courtney Woods (where for reference, he mentions stumbling into an orgy on a previous job, and having an "interesting" time getting out of that, so i already think we have 2 different interpretations of his character between them anyway). but yeah idk man to me "well he's ace" is not an excuse for either gaps in the writing or cut content or whatever was going on. because 1. HE IS NOT AN ACTUAL PERSON he is a storytelling vessel that i felt failed to satisfyingly communicate the entire romance story and 2. even if he was a person saying 'well in ace relationships communication sucks' would also be, not great, you know. everything beyond the text itself is just interpretation and headcanons

[zluty-spendlik]

WAKFU REDESIGN SERIES PART 3 - ADAMAÏ

Hiya, Im back lmaooo - took me long enough

I have been struggling with Ad's and Am's design so much. I dont know why. With Amalia, Im going to have to start over- again- 4th times the charm Im sure - but I finally finished this little guy!

ADAMAÏ IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER GUYS IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS I LOVE HIM SM

But anyway, here is the final (human form) design:

Im aware he has multiple forms since hes, you know, a shapeshifter, and Im going to add them i promise but im like super tired and burnt out from the rest of my mortal life rn

Anyway, to the DESIGN.

Honestly, Adamais og design kinda sucks. Im sorry (not rlly). He doesnt look similar to Yugo at all - YES I KNOW HES A DRAGON - which bothers me a lot, even his color scheme is a lot different from his literal twin...

In my version, I wanted Ad to look deer-like at first, since I gave Yugo deer features, but then I drew him over and over again until I got this fusion of a moth and a lamb or smthing..

I don't know, but I really like it!

The outfit he's wearing is actually what I plan to be an official eliatrope/dragon robe? Both Grougal and Qilby will be wearing it and - potentially - Yugo in season 3. It has some portal imagery (the spiral on the back), and I don't know I just think it's neat!

ALSO WAKFU FRECKLES-

Season 1

Ad has been raised by Grougaloragran (least complicated name ever, wtf Ankama :3) and with Eliatrope/Dragon traditions, so hes very knowledgable of the now dead culture and values it very much. He loves talking to Yugo about it (he gets almost bored sometimes, but he would never admit it to Adamaï).

He, just like Yugo, is extremely curious and loves studying the way Wakfu works and its limits.

And mainly, he loves Grougal, whom he sees as an idol and a father figure. Which is why hes so hurt when he gets killed by Nox.

It feels like the whole world is collapsing on him. His mentor, care-taker, father, LITERALLY THE ONLY OTHER "PERSON" HE EVER INTERACTED WITH AND THE ONLY OTHER DRAGON ALIVE, is gone.

Adamaï has noone. Well- almost noone. Theres this little 12 year old Eliatrope, his only hope, his only anchor.

And he asks you: "Uh, sorry, whats your name again?"

Season 2

HAHSHA LETS TRAUMATIZE THE BOY!! (Even more than he is) Like I said, Adamaï values his culture and people very much, so I assume he would get very, I mean extremely attached to Yugo. However, Yugo is not actually interested in the same things Adamaï is interested in, which makes him a little bit more avoidable of Ad than he should be, given his emotional state.

Not that we blame him. So instead Ad seeks out a new anchor, a new mentor, a new... idol. Who is that you may ask?

Well, it's Qilby of course. Now here's where the funny trauma part happens, because Adamaï starts blurring the line between Grougal and Qilby.

Qilby's mistakes suddenly don't matter as much because Adamaï cares about him as much as he cared about Grougaloragran even though they don't know each other that long (which is the core of the problem).

Anything he'll be does that is morally questionable suddenly isn't bad, because that's not the mentor that Adamaï was raised with ‐ he trust Grougal completely, so why should Qilby be aby different?

So when Qilby betrays him, Adamaï is all the more surprised and hurt. It doesn't help that he really doesn't want to hurt Qilby: Even though he finally realizes that Qilby is a bad person, Adamaï still sees him as an anchor. He might be bad, but other than Yugo he's the only other person Adamaï has.

So of course he loses the fight, of course he gets captured – he doesn't actually want Qilby to get hurt.

Season 3-4 (5?)

Okay let's make one thing clear, I'm a bit of a hater.

Like I genuinely really dislike season 3 and what it has going on with making Adamaï a villain? I really don't think it fits his character, and I would much prefer for the story to have Yugo and Ad grow closer and revive their culture despite all the horrors and terrible things that have been bestowed up on them - But the writers have decided to go the obvious evil twin route which honestly makes my blood boil..

so I don't think I will be even considering rewriting season 3? I think to make it likeable for myself - as this is a self-indulgent project - I would just have to make my own season 3?

If that makes sense?

Art dump!! (Seriously my sketchbook is filled w this lil guy, these r hand picked) And- woah, is that Cleophée redesign? Maybeee~

@saturnyukaa i was looking forward to ur reaction 👉👈

[cozymochi]

Hello hello! Do your ocs have any partner preferences perhaps? Asking for a friend :3

Keep up the awesome work Cozy, your art always amazes me when I pass by. Also love reading your rambles, they're all so well written~

Who is this “”friend”” and what is their INTENT? - I was gonna make a “haha lab partner preference” joke, but I’ll bite…. for the lawlz.

“We're students. We should be studying, not wasting our time with such unacademic pursuits!” - Sebek Zigvolt - SSR Ace Suitor Suit Vignette: “My Beloved”

SHORT ANSWER: Nope because everyone in that series is partner-preference-phobic. LONG ANSWER: I entertain hypotheticals so follow along if you want to. Take it with a grain of salt though. Or don’t! None of this matters 💃

Emilio is too self important and doesn’t really think about potential partners at all. He’s too busy trying to assert how reliable he is and prove how incompetent everyone else around him must be as a result. BUT! If someone were to ask, he’d give them a once over and decide then and there whether or not they’d be worth his time. Weirdly enough he seems more enticed by the idea of somebody matching is self-important and ambitious energy rather than someone who can gas him up. No, no, gassing up is for peers and family. Partner must engage in a constant battle of wits and pettiness and outdoing each other. …Not much of a partnership, really, but nobody said this guy had a healthy and not-skewed idea of relationships.

Cecil does not have the self-esteem to consider serious partnerships, nor entertains the idea of pursuing either. He needs to work out his own issues first, and chances are that alone (and studying) will keep him away from that sorta stuff. THAT SAID, unlike everyone else he is not immune to pretty people who very clearly have their lives together. Outwardly, he’s into those clearly out of his league. Someone confident in their own skin (unlike him), and having that confidence practically radiating off of them is his preference… but, in that response to seeing like, a model on tv or in a magazine kind of way. Otherwise, he probably has no idea what he would actually want. It’s not happening anytime soon to begin with.

Nyoka, surprise, also does not think about partnerships. Not that it matters because in his clan all partnerships between Cobra Beastmen at his status are arranged anyway. When he’s done with school it’s only a matter of time afterwards before that has to be dealt with. So there’s no real reason to entertain preference at all. Maybe having good manners is his bare minimum expectation, but it’s hard to say. He doesn’t really care by any measure and will remain stringent in what’s expected of him. Unless somebody awakens something in him, but what’s the likeliness of that happening? There is no freak here.

🪷 Tia under cut. 🪷

Tia does not entertain hypotheticals.

🪷Romantic pursuits are not on the table for her nor a focus, she just writes it off entirely. She’s got other things going on, like figuring out why she’s even there and finding a way back home. And when she gets back home it’ll be back to business. That’s her plan, and she has tunnel vision when it comes to her future career ventures and making her dreams a reality. Don’t ask, she’ll swerve and never answer. Besides, she probably doesn’t even know what she’d look for anyway. She just dismisses it all and doesn’t allow herself to consider it.

🪷 … BUT…

🪷 …she will notice if somebody is… sturdy. So to speak.

🪷 Despite everything, she sometimes wishes she was the type to entertain frivolous thoughts like that. Given her current situation though, that might not be ideal to toy with.

OKAY BYE i dont know what knowing any of this will do for anybody

[heartkaji]

[ ★ ⸻ @seumyo ]

selfship event

★ OVERVIEW

EUMY MY SWEET GIRL HI !! looked at my inbox and smiled,, im so happy to write this angel 💓ANYWAY, you and katsuki are the nice gf x nonchalant bf ! you’re the class sweetheart and katsuki is your mean bf & everyone wonders how you two are in a relationship with each other. before i dive into the questions, i want to elaborate on your dynamic a bit : as i said, you’re the class sweetheart. i think you’re the type who can come off as a people pleaser to some but god knows you just have everyone’s best interest at heart. you’re the type who gets uncomfortable when you realize someone dislikes you, often wondering why or what you’ve done to upset them. bakugo’s the opposite though. this man is the original bad bitch, he doesn’t gaf who talks behind his back cuz a bitch knows better than to let him hear it (i hope we all got the reference here). you two are complete opposites in the social scene & i really think bakugo helps you in becoming more secure in yourself and learning to care less about what others think.

Q3– WHO FELL FIRST & WHO FELL HARDER ?

OKAY SO HERE’S WHAT I THINK : you didn’t like katsuki at first. you found him rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, selfish & an asshole in general. you hated how he spoke to your friends & everyone around him. a part of you admired his confidence though : he had the gall to take on things you couldn’t even dream of, and he always lived up to whatever he said he’d do. admiration bred respect. of course you never let him know that, you just admired him from a distance. i think that in your case you really did ‘fall’ in love. like there was just one moment were all of a sudden bakugo wasn’t that bad after all. i don’t mean to make you look like some shoujo protagonist but this man saved your ass. see, you didn’t go unnoticed by katsuki. while he thought of you as some annoying extra, you had your merits. he perceived you as some sort of people pleaser so it low key put him off, but he did admire the lengths you’d go to for others. well not admire, but he thought it was respectable how you put your friends first & foremost, even though that’s not something he agrees with. anywho, because of your personality people often try to take advantage of you. you’re usually good at standing your ground, but when the perpetrator is someone who’s actually close to you it becomes difficult to do. when a friend of yours was trying to push all the work for a project unto you, you refused but they resorted to shaming & guilting you. bakugo who was nearby got sick of your classmate’s bitching. “she said she doesn’t wanna do it, fucktard. do your shit yourself.” he said it with his usual aggressive tone before walking away. that did the trick and scared them off, but it left you stunned : who knew katsuki could feel empathy & defend you ? with blushing cheeks, you realized you didn’t quite hate katsuki anymore <3

sorry eummz but you fell harder as well. i don’t think this is too surprising; bakugo is far from the type to give his heart out. even in marriage, i don’t see his pro hero self being a lover boy or simp (but he’s definitely much more mature & loving). i feel like in your relationship with katsuki, you overcompensated a lot. i could see you as someone who might do more chasing than attracting in a relationship, always overthinking texts, waiting for him to call, starting convos, etc. i dont blame you, especially in katsuki’s case. when you’re dating him it’s like damn, if you don’t make the effort who will ? you become slightly obsessive (not at all in a creepy way), thinking about him nearly every time of day. i basically think you have a more anxious attachment style and katsuki triggers that a lot. i’d say if you ever meet a real life katsuki, you should work on that before you consider a relationship (don’t worry my love i’d never trigger you. we could always date instead 💘)

Q5– WHAT DO OTHERS THINK OF UR RELATIONSHIP ?

NOBODY and i mean NOBODY understands how you two got together 😭 the bakusquad (do we still call them that in 2024 ??) tease you about it all the time. kiri’s always going on about how he could treat you better while mina wonders if you secretly do drugs 🧍‍♂️ sero wonders how katsuki got a girl before he did, and kaminari always asks you for any gossip going on in your relationship (nosy ass smh). dating bakugo is one of the best things that ever happened to you because you got to become closer with his friends ; the squad all love you to death <3 between you and me, mina would 100% side with you and stop talking to bakugo if you ever broke up. honestly she doesn’t play about you. everyday she’s reminding katsuki that if he breaks your heart she’ll break his bones (empty threat but it’s the thought that counts !). kiri is also the absolute sweetest :(( he calls you his sister in law & is basically your provisional boyfriend when bakugo isn’t around. one time he caught you crying over a test & he kissed your forehead & hugged you, telling you it’s alright <3 he got a good ass whooping from bakugo but hey, what can you do ?

Q6– WHY/HOW DID YOU BREAK UP ?

dependency & clashing attachment styles. bakugo leans closer to an avoidant while you’re more anxious. i feel like you’re not exactly ‘all over him’ as a girlfriend. you know it would make him uncomfortable so you give him his fair share of space. but said space kills you. whenever you’re going through those periods were katsuki withdraws, you know pestering him to talk and communicate only worsens things so you let him pull away but boy does it drive you crazy. you can’t help but wonder what he’s doing, if he’s thinking about you, etc. you used to vent to mina, but she’s a man hater & the only advice she knows how to give is that you two should break up ☠️ eventually you had enough and decided to communicate (uh oh!). it ended pretty badly, with katsuki calling you a distraction; saying you were too needy & clingy and other stuff that made you feel absolutely terrible. you cried yourself to sleep each night & locked yourself up in your dorm. mina & kiri came to check up on you nearly everyday, while sero & kaminari frequently called to check on you. sero would often face time you while doing stupid shit so you could smile btw <3 either way you weren’t the same for weeks, and you honestly questioned ever finding love again.

Q16– HOW WAS YOUR FIRST KISS LIKE ?

as i said before this man is the original bad bitch 🤦‍♀️ atp he probably watches thewizardliz or sheera seven because why was he trying so hard to be the high value woman in the relationship 😭 this man did not let you touch, kiss, hold or hug him until a good ELEVEN MONTHS. it was exact too so you almost thought he planned it. anyway, this was how it began: sero was throwing a housewarming party (literally for his parents own house, WITHOUT their permission 🤦‍♀️) and ofc you were invited. somehow tape face got a hold of some alcohol & so they were passed around at the party. i say party but keep in mind it was just a small get together of the baku squad + you. anyway, you’d never drank alcohol before; you’d always been a goodie two shoes but sero pushed you to try some : “come on eumy gummy, try something new for once !” a part of you wanted to loosen up & fit in, so after initially refusing you caved. sero’s drinks were sweet as hell, they weren’t weird tasting like you’d heard most people complain about alcohol so you downed them like apple juice. katsuki called you out on your drinking, but after a pout of your lips & a stubborn whine he eventually let you do what you wanted. you kissed his cheek with wine soaked lips & continued to chug as mina & the boys hyped you up. they should not have hyped you up. five glasses in & now you were a stumbling, groaning mess, leaning on kiri for support & hardly able to stand.

katsuki decided enough was enough. you couldn’t walk, so he had to carry you on his back. it was nearly 3am, so he wasn’t too worried about getting caught sneaking back to the dorms. the entire way back you’re a babbling mess, squishing his cheeks with a clumsy grin on your face as you coughed over your own words every now & then. in the elevator, you suddenly began banging on his back : “put me down, katsuki ! i can walk myself !” he insisted you couldn’t, but like the stubborn girl you are you wouldn’t let him rest till he let you go. he guided you off his back & you stumbled against his chest immediately. with rolling eyes & a muttered “told you so,” he placed his palms on your hips & held you against his chest. the contact made you break into a silly grin & you roped your arms around his neck. katsuki raised a brow but you were too drunk to notice. gently & lazily you began to press sloppy kisses to his cheek & i wanna say bakugo pushed you away BUT HE DID NOT !! he simply sighed as you dragged your lips against his face, mouth sticky with strawberry chambourd & the scent of french liqueur. WARNING ! what happens next will shock you : bakugo puckered his lips, not moving an inch forward, but you’re quick to oblige : you press your wine drenched lips to his chapped ones & he pulls away immediately. it’s a sweet, sticky, impulsive peck at best, but it leaves you all giddy & giggling. the elevator dings & bakugo leads you out, your hand in his palm as he tugs you forward without glancing back <3

# KATSUEUMY CORE !

>> 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 <<

© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

[cringelordofchaos]

craig is so fucking emotionally repressed and afraid of being vulnerable and open about his feelings and bottles them up way too much until he cant handle it and it never gets resolved i love him

he thinks he "is in control of his emotions", but in reality it seems like he's moreso blocking them out or ignoring them, or trying to rationalize the situation. (at least that's what it seems to be the case judging by the fact that's how he tried to help tweek feel better in Put It Down.) But it's literally canon that his primary weakness is communication so its definitely moredifficult for him to express his emotions unless he burts them out (like in his argument with tweek in put it down.)

love his relationship with tweek, it really forces him to confront an important part of life he is shown avoiding - emotions. and by talos it is difficult for him but he's learning.

though at the same time he's overwhelmed and overburdened, since tweek is pretty emotional and sometimes potentially clingy (due to him being naturally insecure of himself and somewhat relying on craig for encouragement), this might be perceived as a threat for craig who's practically afraid of emotions or vulnerability, and probably doesnt know how to manage them the best.

this is best shown (but not resolved) in Buddha Box where Cartman says the buddha box can help him block out anxiety or other people that may overburden him. he begins to talkabout tweek and feeling like hes always asking for his attention. so he just tries blocking everything out instead of confronting this or communicating this to tweek. its pretty interesting how they practically made it canon that he actually struggles with anxiety, despite him being the monotone, deadpan and calm one, especially when compared to tweek. im pretty disappointed they didnt resolve this by the end, but boy am i glad they showed the part of him that struggles as much as others. from what we know, craig is really not that close to many people, or much things, besides stripe, his guinea pig... so given his difficulties with communicating and accepting his feelings accompanied by the fact that he isnt and never was close to that many people, i dont blame him for finding it difficult to exactly manage his relationshiip with tweek, especially as tweek is really emotional himself. and craig does care, a lot, and does want tweek to be happy, and he tries helping him by simply being logical and coming up with solutions, rather than thinking emotionally, but sometimes that's simply not enough. and he does learn that in put it down but sort of starts struggling again in buddha box, except this time instead of learning to be emotinally vulnerable for tweek, he shuts himself off from everyone. though hopefully one day he learns to be more open, because that's pretty important in general but especially in a relationship, i think.

eurghhhh they complete each other so well. they are so different which does prove itself to be an obstacle but also is important for both of them, because they learn soo much from each other. Tweek learned how to be more confident in himself 'in a way he never has before' thanks to craig. and tweek is helping craig learn how to manage emotional relationships and life better and understand emotions in general.

Im not sure where exactly his emotional suppression comes from. It could be due to his family being more closed off. it could be due to him possibly being autistic. it could be due to both. it could be due to neither. but i love him nonetheless.

anyway sorry for small rant. the post was initially just gonna be one sentence but i felt like elaborating on what i meant. i love craig tucker soooo much. he makes me soooo happy.

[stxrquotes]

yanqing & yunli except i headcanon yunli as audhd so it’s yanqing and his disaster gf

i’ve seen this one really really really sweet couple on insta, it’s a nt guy and his audhd wife and theyre so sweet. he takes the time to understand her and how their brains are different and it’s so lovely. anyways i kind of imagine yanli like that when their relationship develops more. especially because we got to see them outside of their squabbling in the last part of the tb quest—they work together well; they actually have grown to trust and respect each other (there’s also a dialogue if you choose to talk to yunli before confronting hoolay w/ feixiao where she compliments yanqing on his finishing atk and asks him to teach it to her—she even lightheartedly admits he might be stronger than her), and i feel that their trust and respect will only grow more with time. and of course they will always squabble and pick at each other

so to elaborate on audhd yunli, first off we all know how blunt and stubborn she is. her thinking is so straightforward that even her fighting style is “smash with big stick, everything die” (she prefers brute force over strategy or dexterity—doesn’t mean she can’t strategize, i just mean to point out that even in her fighting she gets straight to the point which i find amusing). i adore her so much my beautiful autistic daughter. special interest is swords. yanqing gets an honorable mention because he’s also obsessed with swords but i think he’s just a sword nerd who collects swords while yunli’s interest goes into the forging, the history, the personalities of the swords

yunli: we may both be obsessed with swords but i am obsessed with them in a much deeper and more autistic way than you could ever be

i have also considered though that yanqing could be headcanoned as having adhd; he’s impulsive, and i do still love the idea from pjo of demigods having an advantage in battle because of their adhd. reminds me of yanqing, he’s a hyperactive little dude bouncing all over the place in battle and idk. he’s also just. a teenage boy. so idk, remains to be determined

anyways i just hc that in all parts of yunli’s life except for anything having to do with swords she’s a complete mess and a ticking time bomb. everything in her room is a mess—except her swords (and old mettle is given the most pristine treatment). she’ll ignore any expectations put upon her unless it has to do with swords or something else she’s a little interested in. she has a few safe foods she eats on rotation in mass amounts.

also im imagining her in school and all i can picture is the leg bounce and the thousand yard stare. +10000 aura she doodles swords on all her papers. every project where students are given enough creative liberty and freedom to choose their topic, you fucking bet yunli is going to talk about swords in one way or another. idk how school works on the xianzhou zuming or frankly anywhere in hsr, but i guess that doesnt matter and i dont really care

also her sense of justice and tunnel vision with cursed swords. it’s so black and white to her (it has a lot to do with trauma ofc, but still i see that same kind of black/white thinking and extreme sensitivity to injustice as a trait on the spectrum).

i also would like to share headcanons about her sensorial and tactical development as a child lol. something about her screams sensory seeking. i use the korean voiceover, and i ADORE how they’ve voiced her and the direction they went. i haven’t listened to the english much, but from what ive heard she seems a lot more softspoken, which isn’t at all wrong or bad, it just is different than what i expected. in the kvo she’s got this monotone shrill going on that little girls with zero vocal control have and it’s fantastic. i hc she has no sense of volume whatsoever, can’t perceive her voice and doesn’t realize she’s shouting, things like that. it really fits with how she acted in her story quest, she’s just absolutely tone-deaf, both literally with her voice and figuratively with social cues, reading the room, etc.

practicing with old mettle has got to be so fucking loud, she’s throwing that shit around and it’s going CLANG CLANG CLANG and there’s no way she doesn’t have massive tolerance to high sensory input. for kids who are on the extreme end of high sensory needs, they’ll sometimes just seek out loud noises constantly, and of course, won’t realize it might be disruptive to others because they don’t even feel like it’s loud. so yeah yunli stims by throwing swords around because hell yeah. the fucking CLANG CLANG CLANG regulates her nervous system i just know it🗣️🔥

while some people are just born with dif sensory needs/issues, they can also develop due to your sensory experience, or lack thereof, as a child. kids who weren’t held/interacted with enough might have difficulty with lots of sensory input, while on the other hand (i dont know this one for sure, i am making a guess) i would think that a lot of exposure to excess sensory input might cause that kid to develop high sensory needs.

and that’s what i think with yunli would be part of her sensory issues, whether or not we’re even talking about autism—she grew up in the forgery around all that constant noise, not to mention the traumatic cursed sword event which could have exacerbated the way all that affected her nervous system because it also messed with her emotions and trauma is stored in the body AND she was a child, yadda yadda :3

i could keep going but idk this has been in my drafts for so long bc i kept thinking of shit and i didnt even talk that much about yanli

the reason i see them as disaster gf and nt bf is because although we’ve seen yanqing being a little shit, so much of that is about his maturity level as he’s still a teen. i just feel it and can’t articulate it well, i just feel that he’s got a calm spirit in there somewhere and as he grows he’s going to become so measured and patient and self-disciplined and it’s fantastic i want to see him grow into a fine young man (i know we probably wont but i can imagine it😞). it feels like that’s the direction he’s going with all the development from the recent tb quest, not to mention the parallels he has with jingliu

i hope this makes sense to others and not just me, for some reason i really see them as the wholesome nd girl and nt boy unlikely wombo combo cause yanqing has so much spunk and fire and yunli has so much spunk and fire but neurodivergently and they just burst into flames around each other but as they grow older it will wane and they will fan it down into glowing embers, soft and warm in the hearth; yanqing will hold her explosive spirit in his hands so gently, he’ll admire and understand her like no one else because somehow he just gets her, and she thrives in his comforting warmth. and when yanqing’s spirit crumbles and he loses that warmth and loses faith in himself, yunli can remind him of his strength and reinstall his sense of justice; she also brings the fresh autistic perspective of carefree innocence and autonomy that i feel yanqing needs in times where he might be overwhelmed by expectations or outside opinions. i just ugh i just . i love them i am going to throw up they’re beautiful and i just think that autistic yunli being understood by neurotypical yanqing is something that is so important to. society at large ,

[gleefultogo]

page 893 & 894

Alright. so can't ignore the elephant in the room. but what the actual fuck where these two latest pages? First of all the most down played and terrible explanation on why your quote on quote father is "damaged" like i'm sorry but ronja's daughters are gonna be young adults very soon at some point and she had't told them about ranach yet? like girl what were you waiting on. this entire convo was long overdue and kique rushed it so fast and swept it under the rug to get it over with, it's so poorly executed. fucking vandi, kargo and ferah could 100% vouch for her explanation on why he's so terrible. cause no rogio doesn't count, he enabled his actions and did stuff for him. he's just as bad and their relationship wasn't toxic unless proved. I wouldn't trust rogio as my damn uncle as far as I can throw him. again fuck that guy lol. but anyways, vandi is technically their grandmother now, this entire convo should of at least been a decent amount of pages maybe 4 at most instead of just saying "oh he killed people" like he did way more then "kill" he raped and should have an eye awakening of the past tribe living and how he manipulated their own mother. naeva's reaction is bit bratty when I first read this page, and honestly I thought she was stupid. as she rather listen to her own morals then her mothers over a father she never met, it doesn't matter as he has never been around in their lives for her to give a shit about him. also how is naeva gonna know its her father? does her mother have a fucking picture of him somewhere? she never stated his color or anything specific about his character appearance. since these dogs are apparently clearly aware of color and markings. though in a small degree, i kinda agree how she is reacting? she's still being a bit of a bitch honestly. but because her own mother refused to give her a detailed explanation and have her daughters truly understand why he's a "big threat". i feel like she could of easily said their father died or something if it mattered that much to her that she doesn't want her daughters to truly end up seeking him. I just feel, now that we might have this anti child turning evil motive that doesn't really make sense? there's really no real reason for them to switch sides and betray their mother if that's a possibility other than to just appease ranach since he can manipulate thats about it. it'll just be for dramatic useless tension. anyways... so instead of ronja being a parent and not going after her own daughter to try and talk some sense into her as this is a vulnerable topic for both of them now. instead we get the worst and dumbest transition in the next page. its night time now and what does ronja do? well instead of again reaching out to her daughter. deer dog pops up into her tent and well they basically have sex. we are once given the cycle that sex cures everything and holy shit i don't know how she can be in the mood for that. like omg just talk about your problems for once without fucking each other. also idk what deer dog means by "tender soul" my dude you barely been around her kids, every-time you were on screen you were either by ronja or standing in the background. I doubt you know what her daughter is like and just exactly know how she'd react. but honestly if naeva sneaks off or goes searching for her father. gotta say it's ronja's fault at that point cause she didn't give a care enough about her own daughters safety and rather get bonded. also off topic kinda, but I keep seeing people claim that naeva as the "black pup" is it just me? I don't see her as black in color, unless my eye sight is really bad and I dont know it. but I honestly have been confused by it. I'd consider her dark toned comapared to her sisters. but not black color wise.

[arpstail]

Day 1827 of, these sharks live SUCH a tragic life

hi guys!!! I was just rereading castle swimm- OH MY GOD?

do they not usually get fed everyday…?????? (No, the answer is no..)

This is actually a point I’ve BEEN making, the sharks were starved, no question about it. I mean even hunting their food has a high risk of either lots of injuries, or actually DYING..

Walk with me for a second

INFACT??? THEY FEEL LUCKY WHEN NOBODY DIES WHILE HUNTING..??

Which this also implies that when they DO eat, it’s not a lot. That creature they killed was considered to be a big meal for everyone, which…hmm..REALLY..?

and I mean… And if we wanna go and be Marine biologist!!!! Sharks can go up to like six weeks without eating, and that’s just blue sharks! And ANOTHER FACT, sharks are omnivores so they can infact eat plants and stuff, however….have you seen the castle and the environment they live in…

the whole castle is actively…CRUMBLING.. and even the curse takes part in this. Going outside to hunt is basically life threatening, and I doubt they hunt often because of this. Especially considering the fact that their numbers are diminishing, there’s only a few hundred of them.

now obviously this may be a small..reach considering the portions they all get were pretty decent in size. though this doesn’t mean they get that daily, or often at all. And again future maybe marine biologist here! They’re sharks… they’re probably not eating to the recommended standard anyways.

There was actually some REALLY nice head canons that inspired me to share these from my notes a few months ago by @hopeful-puffin that shares most of my thoughts. (Please check it out they’re SO GOOD. I love you hopemwamwanmwah)

anyway

I actually thought I’d share a few of my own head canons as well! Not sure what more I could say I haven’t already.(I hope it’s ok to use this screen shot..)

I’ll make a more head canon centered post some other time hopefully maybe

I feel like siren not caring about food at all is really essential to his character considering the fact a large part of his character is centered around the guilt he carries. The worst part is? He can’t do anything to help, he isn’t allowed to. He can’t complain. And also taking into account that this guy has literally never gone outside for the first 18 years of his life???? This is literally the only thing he’s known. Hunting, to him, is life threatening no matter how skilled you are. He doesn’t know any other creatures other than 1 the ones brought to him and 2 the ones already in their environment. For siren, I’d imagine he doesn’t care what creature it is as long as it’ll feed the people.

now! Hold my hand for a moment.. picture this.

Seasons! Are there seasons in the castle swimmer universe? I mean..probably..I dunno, I’d have to go check after I post this.. BUT! Creatures are skittering around getting ready for..uhhh they’re equivalent to winter! So they aren’t obtainable at all this time of year.(assuming the sharks can’t hunt very far away, I mean they would surely die so) so..what do the sharks do? They can’t hunt, their resources are already as scarce enough as it is, and there really isn’t anything else around the castle..errrr..cave(?)

so what do they do? They have kids and elderly to feed! Sure they can could a bit without eating, but then what?

this is when it gets all edgy, and boo me all you want yeah IM CRINGE SURE WHATEVERRRRR

Sharks are known to eat each othe- NO DONT CLICK AWAY JUST HERE ME OUT… sharks can be!! Cannibalistic.! I’m sure you can tell where I’m going with this but I’m going to lay it flat just in case

The sharks resort to eating….,well I’m not sure if they’d be already dead, or dying, sharks. Either way! They’re suffering! They’re sharks! And they’re starved for food.

Now another way this headcanon can go is a little bit more morally gray, as we’ve seen sirens parents be(um maybe?) not sure if I’ve already talked about my shoal theories here BUT ANYWAY! Picture this, sirens dad, canonically, is a nurse. And siren is just lets say like 7 or 8, before he leaves(or maybe this is what drives him to leave) regardless, it’s winter, and shoals family is starving . So..what does he do!! as lightly as I can put this, he just secretly feed them the remains of others. He has the ability to do it I mean he’s a nurse. He can like do that…I guess. Point is, sometimes (actually ALL the time) nurses are forced to do things others won’t agree with based of their morals. And in a situation where they were all desperate, this doesn’t seem that far out of the question. We ALL SAW THE END OF EPISODE 169.. castle swimmer has not shied away from being dark

If you made it this far I’m i love you.. MWAH! And hope if you too read this I LOVOVEEEVEVE what you do

Bonus cause I love him to death @linaisfunny @dumblond-ie

[mumpsetc]

Genuinely Asking, (Not sarcastically! This ask comes across as bitchy unintentionally But Im genuinely asking) what do you think the themes of ii are. What the purpose of the story is. Im utterly confused by what you take from each episode. What You analyze and what you don't. Even more so how you think this obvious trick 'ending' Is good at all for the story theyre telling.

Because It feels as though you deeply misunderstand What ii is going for. What its supposed to be. Especially since you called the Relationships petty and useless? Or how you call s3 unimportant (I dont prefer s3 at all, i dislike it in fact. im a huge s1 fan. But to call it uninteresting Is confusing Now that we know what we know.)

So Im curious, What Do You think ii IS about. Why you think adam and justin and brian spent 13 years on this passion project. Because if it was for money, like you've said, why not animate for a Youtube Content farm. Why bother working on this and keeping a plot twist hidden since 2013. Why Would you go into the animation industry specifically siting II as inspiriation for it.

Not what YOU think ii should be about. You've talked about that plenty of times. What IS ii about. What Is the story trying to tell. What is the common Story beats between every single ii contestant, Civilian, and Host.

Now This is an Interesting Ask, and Thank You for Asking It I Enjoy Thinking About Stuff Like This. I Will Be Getting Personal in Response Because I Think This Ask Deserves as Much

To Address a Few Things Off the Bat: I Am a Very VERY Biased Source for a Multitude of Reasons. I Have Been Watching the Show For 8 Years and In That Time Have Picked Up a Lot of Personal and Fandom Related Baggage So I Have a Hard Time Looking at a Character Like Fan Without 8 Years of Feelings Towards Him. Also @ Your S3 Point, I've Actually Been Rewatching Recently to Properly Contextualize It in the Story as Well as View It as a Finished Product. I'm Only 3 Episodes Into That So I Can't Say Much on That Front Currently Other Than a Lot of My Older Opinions on It are Outdated and Also Made When I Was Very Very Angry Haha!

Finally on the General Disclaimers Thing, My Taste in Media is Really Weird in Part Because Inanimate Insanity. I Was Into ii From 13-15 and Then 17-Now. When I Got Back Into it at 17 I Made the Decision to Start Watching Movies and Reading More Books Because I Didn't Want to Limit Myself to ii and Stagnate in My Tastes. This Resulted in Me Seeing a Lot of Things Professionally Known as "Huge Fucking Bummers" and Generally Preferring Bittersweet or Unhappy Endings.

I Like the Fake Ending Because That's What I Typically Enjoy Across the Board. ii Having an Everyone Dies and Mephone Loses Everything End is What Appeals to Me and My Own Interpretation of the Series So I'm Happy. It Might Be Vapid and Emotionally Base But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I Think I'm Allowed As Much.

To Answer Your Actual Question Though, I Think The Themes of ii are

Existing in a Place Like ii is Damaging for Yourself and Others and Takes a Toll on Your Interpersonal Relationships

An Allegory for Being an Artist in General

There's a Few Others Floating Around Like "Forgiveness" and "What's Real on ii?" But These are the Two I Think are the Most Present and Effect Everything, and I Vastly Prefer the First Over the Second. I Think The First Encourages Interesting Character Dynamics and is At Play With Several of My Favorite Characters (Suitcase, Cabby, Apple, Marshmallow, Paintbrush). The Artist Thing Was Always There But I Just Never Really Cared for How They Executed It.

I Get What the Story Is Going For and Can Probably Atleast Make a Ballpark Swing at It's Ending. Its Steven Universe/Pixar Influences are Worn On Its Sleeve and I Get the Point I Do I Do I Do I Promise But I Just Don't Care for That Sort of Thing Anyways. Is That Unfair Towards ii? Yeah.

On Why I Think ABJ Made This? I Can't Say. I Try to Avoid Speculating on Them or Their Intentions Anymore Because I Think the OSC Treats the 3 of Them Very Strangely and I Don't Want to Be Involved With That. I Disagree With Your Sentiment That You Can't Milk a Passion Project for Money and I'll Leave It at That.

Finally, You Asked Why I Cite ii as an Artistic Inspiration Despite How Much I Dislike It. This is Funny Timing Actually, It's My Senior Year in College And We Had to Do an Assignment Breaking Down Why We Animate At All and I Did Talk About Inanimate Insanity for Mine (For 20 Minutes Too). It's a Show That Means a Lot to Me Because It Has Had an Immense Influence on the Direction My Life Has Taken. It's a Very Right Place Right Time Situation for Me and No Amount of Logic Can Override My Very Emotional Outlook on ii.

I've Been Such a Long Time Fan and I Got So Much Wrapped Up in This Goddamn Cartoon and That's Why I Talk About It, I Got a Lotta Thoughts After 8 Years. I Can Admit a Warped Perspective But This is a Casual Thing I Do for Fun, and I Trust Everyone Reading My Blog to Be Smart Enough to Come to Their Own Conclusions.

[alacetor-the-duckies-deer]

Been thinking about this post I made earlier, and

The problem with the hotel is that Charlie went too big too fast with the goal. Unfortunately Katie Killjoy was RIGHT when she asked why anyone would care about becoming a better person, when you consider that it means going up to heaven to be with the very people that put them in hell in the first place (as far as they know), and who (definitely) then come down to massacre them once a year anyway.

But if you think of the pride ring specifically, rather than all of hell, as a jail of sorts for sinners, then, maybe they'd want to explore the rest of hell if they could.

And if Charlie got with her father and the other sins, and got approval for like, passports of sort, that give sinners who prove they could behave in the rest of hell- where people live who aren't saints but can still be good people and who ARE more often than not weaker that Sinners- permission to travel, I BET plenty of sinners would have at least wanted to TRY the hotel.

The hotel could function more as a voluntary recovery resedance for them. Like if Angel had been promised the opportunity to visit the Lust Ring, I bet he'd have committed a little more serious the cause sooner.

And it wouldn't even have to be an all or nothing thing. Each sin could have different requirements for allowing sinner into their territory. Ozzie would probably never allow people with sexual assaults on their record, for instance. And Mammon would probably allow pretty much anyone, wanting anyone who could pay to see his shows.

But it's still not a perfect solution unless the genocides stop.

Because it just leads to questions.

Do they tell heaven they're letting sinners got to other rings?

If they do, they run the risk of Heaven, specifically Adam, not agreeing to only hunt the unrepentant/unredeemed in the Pride Ring, and simply expanding the genocide, the violence, into the other rings, and the other sins might refuse the system soley based on that.

And if they don't tell them? That's not going to stay a secret long. Even if it take a decideds for enough sinners to have earned their passport to even one other ring, all the sinners that can, are going to bale on the Pride Ring during the genocide.

At first the angels might think they're successfully keeping Hell's population down, but eventually they're going to get suspicious, because whether they've been doing this since the dawn of time or only since the human population, and therefore Hell's population, boomed in the last century or so, for it to suddenly be working this well???

And all they have to do is capture some sinner during an extermination, and torture the answers out of them.

And then it's like.

Do they see that as Lucifer trying to get out of his side of the bargen? Do they say fine we won't uphold our end?

The fact Adam and them go after Charlie in the season finale shows there's no magical contract PREVENTING them from killing Hellborns. So what if they start giing after Hellborns too, since they're traveling rings now too?

Soooo maybe I've talked myself in circles.

Even though I dont THINK Charlie has though about all of this, it's still stands that she does have to go that big with the hotel. She has to get them out of hell as things stand now, because if there are genocides, nowhere and no one in hell is garenteed safety.

Now, in a post canon world where they get the extermination to end, I think this would actually be a good system.

Most sinners are actually in hell for a reason, and if they want to just keep indulging in that behavior, fine. Pride Ring Prison.

But leaving a voluntary out program readily available to them, where they can rehabilite themselves as much as they want-wether it be to Aesmodeos or Mannon's or Beelzebub's, or even Heaven itself's standards? Yeah, I think that would work really well to insintives people to change.

[pomefioredove]

this might be self projecting so sorry in advance for my yapping(not a request dont worry!) its kind of a thing ive been thinking about a lot lately, but grim strongly reminds me of my british shorthair cat i lost a few months ago. how yuu cares so much about grim, it just made something snap inside of me i guess??

we all know that yuu has formed a strong bond with grim over their time in nrc, the reason for this could simply be because they practically (grim lol) depend on each other since both grim and yuu are considered as the odd bunch at nrc. (which is probably true cause "yuu" is just a vessel for the reader) but what if yuu had a pet that they cared so much about who passed away recently, their grief being the catalyst for their quick bondage with the furry little guy?

like when grim gets lost or something, yuu would flip the whole school building upside down along with the students, just to make sure he is okay. what would the students think about this? the calm and collected, responsible, nonchalant prefect absolutely losing themselves because one fluff monster of a student is not seen for a few hours? plot twist he just got lost in a random dorm lol

ok thats it bye ilysm

HI ily2

honestly I think grim could be a lot of things for yuu!! this is also something I've thought about. I have younger brothers who I helped raise, and I actually see a lot of our bond in yuu and grim's

and yuu and grim have a parental-sibling-pet-friend-roommate thing going on to me, like that's yuu's cat but also their little baby. you know? if yuu had a pet, or family back home, then grim would serve as their family in twisted wonderland. and grim thinks of yuu as family, too, honestly, I'm sure he does. he doesn't even remember his biological family

but I think grief is actually a pretty big part of their bond, anyway. I mean, just thinking about yuu losing their entire family, their friends, their culture, their favorite things, their history, everything, without really knowing if they'll ever be able to get it back- that's grief. I would be grieving. there's much to be said about that, but that's for another post. the world of twst is so disorienting and complicated and hostile towards yuu, that most of the time it probably feels like they and grim only have each other. he's such an important character in the story

but anyway. I think it's pretty well-known that grim and yuu are a package deal tbh 😭 very few students would think they're irrational for worrying over him, especially post-book 6. grim would be the most annoyed, if anything (he loves/hates being babied). though I guess that depends on the severity of the freakout

[boonsmoon]

Are you comfortable with breeding?

Like looking Raditz right in the eye and telling him you want babies. HIS babies.

im not writing lemon/lime but i will write the scenario leading up to it (and dw, i am comfortable with this topic lol) i dont think this work is suggestive but like- implications of sex if that needed to be said fsr

Request Chungus ML Dragon Ball ML Raditz x f!reader Genres: Headcanons+Oneshot|Fluff|Romantic

Telling Him You Want His Babies

now we're gonna assume yall have been together for awhile by this point, i wanna say around 1.5-2 years AT LEAST

im also gonna say yall have most definitely had sex already, you two are NOT new to each other in anyway

but basically what happened is baby fever hit (it happens to us all😖)

you THOUGHT it'd go away after awhile like its SUPPOSED to, spoiler alert: didnt happen

what happened instead is you REALLY wanted a kid now, and it was eating you alive keeping it to yourself

at first you started dropping subtle hints to Raditz, though he never seemed to get them, so you ended up being straightforward

"Raditz, I want a baby" "Ok? Go babysit Vegeta's kid or something" "No. I want YOUR baby"

it didnt take much convincing for him to get you pregnant

and so the saiyan population grows

One Want

You two have happily been together for a couple years now, congrats! But such lengthy commitment means that you both have also spoke of expectations for the future. Maybe a marriage, might have some kids, the normal things, right?

Well Vegeta and Bulma had the audacity to have another kid, and you get to be the primary babysitter when the grandparents aren't available (much to Vegeta's dismay), yippee! However, taking care of a baby now has you feeling baby fever. It should go away soon though, you just think she's cute! You don't actually want a kid, right?

After much contemplation... Yeah, yeah you did want a kid. I mean THINK about it. A mix between Raditz and you would be adorable! Oh yeah... Maybe you should tell Raditz.

Would being straightforward scare him away? You don't want him to not hear out your idea. Maybe drop hints or segway into the topic?

At first you started mentioning how AWESOME it was to take care of Bulla, enthusiasm for the art should interest him. Not quite, though...

"She's just the cutest!" You gushed over the baby, "I could do this more often." The baby in your arms stared blankly back at you. Overhearing you in another room Raditz called out, "you practically have it everyday! How much more could you want?"

It's not that you were offended by his density this time, he disrespected this adorable soul. "Bulla isn't an 'it,' Raditz!" You talked back to him before looking back to the baby, "isn't that right?"

First attempt was a fail. Attempt two didn't go much better. It seems 'accidentally' stumbling into the baby isle while shopping became and inconvenience on behalf of your 'incompetence.'

Raditz's density was becoming too much to handle, you had to be straightforward at this point to get anywhere.

"Hey, Radz? I need to talk to you about something," you inquired, walking behind the couch where he sat. "You seem to talk a lot these days, flower. What is it?"

A wave of nervousness washed over you, you didn't think you'd actually make it this far. No! Fortify and tell him already. "I want a baby," you said, intention seemingly very clear.

"What happened to Vegeta's kid? You got bored of her?" Raditz turned around to look at you and laughed. Your face felt hot from embarrassment at his laughing, but we move on. "No, Raditz," you sighed, "I want your baby."

His laughing abruptly stopped before he looked at you, searching for any signs of a lie. Standing up without a word, Raditz made his way towards you. Unsure if this was a good or bad thing, you began to back up before hitting a wall.

Raditz placed his hands on either side of your head and looked down at you, "is that what all this has been about?" Knowing words would fail, you simply nodded your head. "And you really want this?" You nodded again.

"Well why didn't you say so earlier, firefly?" After receiving confirmation, Raditz slung you over his shoulder and carried you off to your shared room.

haha SORRY this took so long, i got distracted doing other things + writers block

yeah i felt like the headcanons+oneshot would be too short alone so i just mashed them together

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 4: Talk! - Matty Healy Series

A/n: warning this one is a bit long haha. Hope you like it anyway, let me know what you think

You can read the previous part here: Part 3 -Sex

Series Masterlist

Matty and Lou haven't spoken since everything happened, it had been about a week and a half since then. She can't deny she has found herself craving his touch, but his words had royally pissed her off and it would take more than a few lustful glances (which there were many) to get her to do anything with him again.

Lou and Ross are sat at the edge of today's stage, Ross' bass sits in her lap, they're sitting opposite each other. She has no clue how many shows they've played now or how many cities and counties they've been to. From where Matty stands at the side of the stage, he can only see Ross, who's hair is free from the usually restraint of a hairband, Lou's back is facing him, but the giggles and laughter she's letting out are getting on his nerves. He wants to be the one that's making her laugh like that.

She's playing the bass line to "Love Me", she plays it easily and Ross chuckles to himself, shaking his head.

"Is there anything you can't do?" he says and she smiles at this, blushing slightly.

"When did you learn that?" he asks, she passes his bass back to him and he rests it against his lap.

"A while ago... always liked the way it sounded, you play it better though" she smiles at him, her chin rests against her palm as she looks at him. They talk about how amazing the other was during the previous shows, Lou complimenting him tenfold on his harmony during "change of heart".

"We have to sing together sometime" she says and they shake on it.

An eyelash rests against his cheek and she leans forward, fingers gently removing it "eyelash" she explains.

"Make a wish" she says, Ross closes his eyes for a second before opening them back up, she smiles and lightly blows on the eyelash, they smile and watch as it floats somewhere unknown.

Matty knows at this point he's seen too much so he walks to where they're sitting on the stage.

"Well isn't this cosy. Have to admit, you two are cute. Be careful Ross, heard she's a bit of a bitch, think you can do better mate" he says and she has to really try not to just get up and slap him. She doesn't care if he's rude towards her, but directing it at one of his best friends is too far.

"Why do you have ruin everything" she says, sighing deeply, getting up from the stage and going to walk off. Ross sighs before walking off too, in the opposite direction, Matty quickly chases after her, grabbing her by the hand, halting her movements.

"Where are you running off to aye?" he asks harshly. She snatches her hand away from his before snapping at him.

"You have no right saying shit like that. Forget about me for a minute, I dont matter. But Ross? He is one of your best friends and you've been treating him like shit!" she says, her words ringing true although Matty didn't want to hear them.

"Sorry if it annoys me that you and him are cosying up all other the place" he says ignoring her words completely.

"So what!" she shouts, throwing her hands up almost in defeat "Ross is kind and he cares about me unlike you!" she shoves him before going to leave, she quickly turns around "you can't just fuck me and think that I owe you something, continue being a dick to me all you like, but I will not let you ruin your friendship with your best friend" she explains before finally leaving.

Matty knows she's right, he doesn't know what or if something is going on between Ross and her, but Ross actually deserves her. He knows that's why he's the way he is with her, because he wants her but knows she's the last thing he deserves.

Ross is good, and kind just like her, they're perfect for each other he thinks.

He doesn't see her for the rest of the day, he wants to check up on her, make sure she's okay but he's aware he's probably the last person she wants to see. Instead he finds Ross, he's sitting on a sofa backstage and he offers him a weak smile, one in which Matty didn't deserve. He deserves for Ross to tell him he was an arsehole and to fuck off, but that wasn't the type of person he was.

"Hey mate, look, I'm really sorry for being such an arse, whatever is going on I'm happy for you" he says. Ross shakes his head at this.

"There's nothing going on, we're just friends mate, that's the way its always been. We just get each other that's all" he says, Matty wants to believe him but doesn't quite. He goes to speak again, but Ross cuts in first.

"Look, whatever you feel about her, you can't keep doing this" he says, his words confusing the curly head man, his eyebrows furrow.

"Come on man, the both of you have always had this back and forth, its obvious you have feelings for her, just sort it out. I care about you both and right now, you're just hurting each other and making a mess of things" Ross says, his words hit Matty and he finds himself pulling his mate into a hug.

"Im confused man" he almost whispers, face tucked into Ross' shoulder.

"I know" he says, just hugging his friend tighter. The truth was, Matty had always been infatuated with her, she was the girl of his dreams and he felt like he never deserved her. He saw the way she was with his closest friends and he was jealous of them. So he coped the only way he knew how, by completely rejecting those feelings and replacing them with hate. He had a huge ego, but his self worth had always been far too low and recently had been plummeting even more.

"She's too good for me man, I don't deserve her - never have, that's why I act this way" he says, running his hands through his hair.

"Maybe if you treated her the way she deserves, the way, deep down, you want to treat her. You'll start thinking otherwise" Ross says and Matty just hugs him again.

"I get you're scared mate, I get it. But you've gotta try otherwise we might all loose her" Ross said and Matty knew it was true.

Matty wanted to tell her how amazing he thought she was, how talented and kind and genuinely good she was. But he had always been so scared she would reject him. But Ross was right, if he carried on being this way, she'd run away and they'd all lose her.

"What if it goes bad anyway? What if she rejects me and ends up feeling too awkward to hang out with you lot. I risk it either way" Matty explains, running his hand through his hair.

"And what if it's the best thing that ever happened to you?" Ross asks, Matty feels his world spin at his friends words, his heart picking up in his chest. Maybe he was scared of both of those scenarios.

He eventually finds her having a smoke, she's sat on the curb of a pavement, he can tell she had been crying and he cant count the amount of cigarette buts that were scattered around her.

"This seat taken love?" he asks, his tone quiet and gentle, he wanted to let her know he meant no harm.

"Go for it" she says, eyes not finding his, she can tell he's about to speak so she cuts him off quickly.

"Leave it Matty... its fine" she says, in the next minute he's turned her body so its facing him, his hands have found hers and are holding them gently. His eyes are unfalting from hers and his face is close to hers.

"No its not fine. It's really not fine. I am genuinely so sorry" he says and she just sighs.

"Just listen please" he begs and she nods.

"I know you don't believe me and I completely understand that, I haven't given you a single reason to. But I am so sorry. I've been a right cock and I'm making a mess of things. True Matty fashion" he says and she finds herself letting out a small chuckle at that. His fingers gently wipe at her cheek, removing the tears.

"I will show you how sorry I am, I swear. We can't lose you Lou..." he says, pausing, her eyes are focused on the ground, so he places her fingers under her chin, carefully pushing against it and making her look at him.

"I can't lose you" another confession that has her heart pounding, but it confuses her.

"I'm a twat. But I'm obsessed with you" he admits, "Always have been, just hated ya because it was easier than the alternative" he says, her eyebrows furrow.

"The alternative?" she says, her voice weak. He sighs deeply before rushing out his words, she hears every single one though.

"Telling you I liked you and you rejecting me because you're too good for me. You were- are this really cool girl, who is unbelievably kind and good. And everybody loves you and I got why but I hated it because I knew you wouldn't see me the way I wanted you too. I hated the fact that you got along so well with the guys, they got to have this part of you that I would never have, all because I'm this insufferable, arrogant, arsehole who treated you like shit" he is the one to stare at the ground now. She squeezes his hand gently and his eyes are back on hers.

"You're an idiot" she says, almost smiling. She leans forward and places a gentle kiss to his cheek.

"what was that for?" he asks, a small smile resting on his lips.

"For admitting that, I know it must have been hard. But you should know... maybe if you weren't such a dick, I wouldn't have had to reject you. You could've had me the way the guys did too, you just had to be nice" she says and he nods sadly.

"so you are rejecting me?"

"No... I'm just saying... I'm not rejecting you, I'm not doing anything... you need to prove what you're saying" she says and he nods harshly.

"I swear I'll prove it!" he says.

"Okay" she smiles at him.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks nicely and she smiles at the tone she's very rarely heard directing at her. She nods and he places a very light kiss to her lips, just his lips pressing softly against hers, an apology of sorts, or the start of one. He pulls away shortly after and she finds herself chasing his lips.

"We should get ready for the show" he says, his forehead rests against hers and their eyes are both closed. They both sigh deeply, wanting more but also knowing it wasn't the right thing to do. She couldn't just let him back in, he had to earn it and he wanted to.

----------------------------------------------------------

She hears a knock on her dressing room door, shouting a "one sec" as she finished applying her lipstick. Walking barefoot to the door and swinging it open, revealing her best friend's girlfriend, someone who she had missed so much. She screams excitedly before the two girls are hugging each other tightly, Charli then pulls back, a stern look on her face.

"What the fuck is going on with Matty?" she asks, a little too loudly for Lou's liking. She pulls her inside quickly, looking down the hallway to see if anyone was looking. She shuts the door behind her, before turning to the girl who was now sat on her sofa, arms crossed. She sighs before sitting herself next to her.

"How the fuck did you find out?" Lou asks, making Charli laugh.

"So there is something going on?" she has a smirk on her face.

"Yes, no. Fuck I dunno. We kissed, twice thats it" she lies. "Who told you?" she speaks, biting her lip nervously, awaiting her friends reaction.

"George" she says, making Lou's stomach drop, Charli gauges her reaction and sighs "yeah he's not too happy, he said he overheard Ross and Matty having a conversation about you" that was news to her "he confronted Matty about it, so he told G everything and... apparently they're not talking" she says awkwardly.

"What? Why? Fuck this is bad... everything?" Lou says, stressing herself out, biting her lip and ruining her lipstick. Charli nods at her question, a slight smirk resting on her lips.

"Calm down it will be okay. George said he was annoyed that Matty practically made your life hell when in fact he was just in love with you" her stomach drops again, heart pounding.

"Hey he did not say he was in love with me!" she says, panicking again.

"shit..." charli says.

"He said he was in love with me?!" she asks and Charli shrugs, half nodding at her.

"Jesus Christ" her head finds her hands, resting there. Her breath is deep, laboured and she feels Charli's hand on her back. She thinks over all the information she's just been told.

"Wait a sec, what was this conversation Ross and Matty had?" she asks.

"Matty thought you and Ross had a thing, Ross told him you didn't and he confessed how much he had liked you and said it was why he was the way he was with you" she says, some new information in her words but some Matty had admitted to.

"Jesus christ that man is dellusional"

"You like him don't you?" she says, eyebrows raising.

"I dunno Charli, honestly I don't know...." she says, speaking from her rational side, her heart telling her she was lying.

"The truth is, he makes me excited, but he had treated me like shit for most of our lives and now he's telling me he had always liked me but thought I was going to reject him. He said he'd prove what he meant, that he was actually sorry. It's confusing, the truth is I haven't had a chance to figure out if i like him, like truly like him. I know i fancy him, i know he gets on my nerves but..." she trails off.

"It's passionate right?" charli asks and Lou nods.

"What's the problem then? He said he'd prove what he said right?" Lou nods again. She hears a banging coming from her door, whoever it was didn't sound happy. She walks over to it, the door swinging open to reveal, a very angry George.

"I swear I'm going to kill him" he says, barging in and pacing her room.

"Okay, calm down" she says, George sighs heavily, plonking down next to his girlfriend, arms crossed.

"You're not going to kill your best friend George"

"Yes i fucking am. He can't just treat you like shit all these years and then fucking confess his feelings for you like this. I could cope with him hating you, just hating you, but the fact he's been lying to me basically all my life has pissed me off" he says, Charli looks at Lou before she speaks.

"G" she says, making her man turn to her "stop being a dick, this isn't about you, Lou has been your best friend since you were babies and you haven't once asked how she is" she feels thankful to her for that.

"Shit you're right" he says, Lou offers him a small smile.

"Always am baby, anyway I will leave you to it" she says, placing a kiss to her boyfriend's cheek, hugging Lou and then leaving. Lou sits down next to her best friend and George takes her hand in his.

"I'm sorry for making it about me. Are you okay?" he asks, she shrugs.

"I'm just confused" she smiles a weak smile again.

"I mean... to be honest it does make a little sense, but I'm still pissed at the guy" he says.

"Please don't be, this whole thing is complicated enough as it is, doesn't need to be more complicated. He's your best friend G" she says, and he squeezes her hand.

"So are you.... why couldn't he just not be a pussy and just have told you... would've saved years of you hating each other" he says and she shrugs, not knowing the answer.

"What's happening then?" he asks.

"I dunno, he said he's sorry and I said he needs to prove it... years of being rude to each other can't be solved by a few kisses and the words "Im sorry" but that goes for me too" she says.

George groans "oh god you guys are going to be making out all over the place aren't you?" he says and she chuckles at this.

"Honestly G... I don't know. You want the truth?" she says and he nods "always" he says.

"As much as he gets under my skin, I liked the way he made me feel, but it came from all that hatred. So who knows what will happen if you remove all that?" she says and George hugs her.

"I guess we shall see. but if he hurts you I will kill the man" he says. She puts her shoes on shortly after, fixing her lipstick before the pair return to the main room. George makes a direct beeline to Matty.

"Are we okay?" Matty asks, and George nods.

"Yeah mate we're good" he says, hugging him tightly, what Lou doesn't hear is the "but if you hurt her I will kill you" to which Matty replies "don't plan on it mate"

Lou feels a hand wrap around her shoulder, looking up to see Ross, who smiles down at her, his hair now in a bun, he's wearing a white shirt and black slacks, his blazer thrown over a near by sofa.

"You good?" he asks and she nods up at him, cuddling into his chest as he squeezes her.

"Good" he says, she pulls back to look him and smirks.

"Heard Matty thought we were a thing" she says and they both fall silent for a beat before they both laugh loudly at the idea of it. Her eyes then fall on Matty who's standing across the room, he smiles at the two of them and they both smile back. Ross then leaves her to talk to Hann and Matty finds his way to her.

George and Charli are making out on the sofa, making her roll her eyes at the pair.

"They're gross right?" Matty says, coming to stand next to her.

"Sickening" she says, making them both laugh.

"You look lovely darling" he says honestly. She adorns a similar outfit to the previous nights however she's changed it up slightly, instead of her usual black shorts or jeans and a black shirt, she wears a short black skirt which rests against her upper thigh, tights and a white tee that is tucked in, a black tie is loosely worn around her neck. She wears a leather suit jacket that finishes above her knee and a pair of ankle boots that are healed, making her a little taller.

She organised outfits with the stylists who had joined them this tour, the same as the guys would, she picked several for each night, deciding on the night which one she wore.

"Yeah think they got my wardrobe mixed up with yours" she smirks and he realises that she does indeed resemble him, but at the same time the outfit is unmistakably her style too.

"It's a good look" he too smirks down at her.

"Must have the same taste" she says and they laugh again.

"Looks better on you love" he speaks softly, another pet name easily rolling off his tongue. They are then being called on stage.

"Umm... Good luck love" he says a bit awkwardly, making her smile.

"Yeah, you too" she says and she goes to walk the other direction but his hand halts her a second, pulling her back to him, nearly making her collide with his chest.

"I told the crew to put your mic next me to be during about you, hope that's okay" he says, his face is moving slowly downwards to hers and she nods thoroughly before he places a sweet kiss to her lips.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself" he says, he's apolising because he knows he shouldn't be doing it, he hadnt proved anything to her her and he didn't deserve it.

"I don't mind" she smiles, leaning up to place a firmer one on his lips before they're getting ushered away by Jamie who stands there, rolling his eyes.

"Shouldn't have expected anything else to be honest" he says to himself under his breath.

----------------------------------------------------------They get on stage and it's a show like no other. The band are sounding the best they have so far, bouncing off each other. Her harmonies seem clearer today, not sure if someone had turned up her microphone but whatever it was, she loved it. The way her voice blended with Matty's, complimented it perfectly. The time came for About You to be performed and Matty turned to her, ushering her down the stage, she followed his instructions and placed herself behind the microphone that was placed next to his.

Her voice rang out at the right times and everyone cheered during her solo. But what made her heart swell was the look on Matty's face, he sat on the top of a sofa next to her, smiling across from her as she sung. Her eye contact remained with the crowd then, for she knew one look at Matty and she'd be done for.

The final notes played out and the band and the crowd cheered loudly for her.

"Ladies and gentlemen the wonderful Lou!" Matty said, gesturing towards her before pulling her into a tight hug, the act surprises her but she feels her eyes shutting as her palms rest flat against his back, her head tilted to the side, cheek against his chest due to the height difference. It was the second time they had ever hugged and she felt undeniably comfortable.

They pulled away, she went back to her spot and her eyes snapped to George who was focused on her already. His eyebrows raised at her as if to say " what the fuck was that". She shrugs over at him before looking at Ross who is smiling across at her, truly just happy to see the two getting along.

The show finishes and she doesn't wait at the side stage when they do their final bows like they usually would. Instead she makes her way to her dressing room, needing to be alone to think for a bit. She felt a tad overwhelmed, she quickly lights a cigarette, the nicotine coating her tongue easing her nerves a little.

She sighs, staring across from where she was sat, disassociating for what felt like only a second. Until she's hearing a soft knock on the other side of the door. She doesn't even remember stubbing out her finished cigarette but the butt is lying against an ash tray on the table in front of her.

"Everything alright in there?" Matty's voice is soft but muffled by the wood. Part of her doesn't want him to come in, she knew one look at him would have her crumbling and right now she needed to seriously think about everything and figure out the reasonable thing to do next. But her voice is betraying her as she says her next words.

"Yeah! You can come in if you'd like" she says, and the door is opening then, revealing Matty, only difference was he had already changed, a pair of black jeans and a black shirt resting against his body. She didn't realize how long she had been sitting there thinking for.

"Didn't want to get changed?" He asks, his voice is quiet, as if he was scared what would happen if he spoke up a little.

"Sorry, I got distracted, time seems to have escaped me" she lets out a weak chuckle.

"I can leave you to get changed" he says going to stand but her hand finds his, stopping him in his tracks. She shakes her head at him, silently asking him to stay. He sits back down, not moving his hand from under hers.

"You sounded amazing tonight... More than usual I mean" he says.

"Thank you, so did you" she says, smiling at him, he doesn't say anything to her compliment of him, instead speaks sincerely about her.

"Carly is wonderful don't get me wrong. But there's something about the way you sing 'About You'" he says, smiling at her now. "Like it was made for you" he says and she finds her smile stretching wider at his words.

"That's sweet. Thank you Matty" she says.

"Anyway... Um. I'm going to leave you to get changed. Jamie said we need to be on the bus soon" he says and she nods at him.

"Find me on the bus yeah?" He asks next and she nods again. He quickly pulls her into a quick hug, one that she barely registers before he's left the room.

She quickly removes her shirt and skirt, leaving the tights on as she throws one of George's hoodies over her frame, it was basically a dress on her anyway. She quickly got her things together before she left the room, one of the crew assisting her to the tour bus.

She finds the whole group sitting in the main room, all smiling at her as she entered. She had hoped no one would be there so she could sneak into her bunk undetected.

"Hey rockstar!" Ross says, standing up to hug her tightly. Matty looks at the both of them, but he doesn't feel as jealous anymore.

She looks up at Ross and he instantly knows she's not okay.

"Give me a minute yeah?" She says and he nods down at her, letting her leave.

"Is she okay?" Matty finds himself asking, feeling protective over her already.

"I've got this" George says, knowing he's the only person she could deal with right now. He untangles himself from his girlfriend, placing a peck against her lips before moving to find his best friend. He finds her at the room at the back of the bus, a slightly larger room behind their individual bunks.

"Hey, you okay pumpkin?" He asks, using the nickname he knows she likes, one he has called her since they were young, especially reserved for moments like these. She goes to speak but no sound comes out.

"Talk to me Lou says" her lips begin to quiver and his eyes find her watery ones and he quickly pulls her into a tight hug.

"Hey, hey it's okay. It's okay" he says, hands smoothing over her hair. The sleeves of the jumper she's wearing are quickly wiping away the tears.

"talk to me" he says softly.

"I'm just overwhelmed G.... I love you guys and this has been amazing so far but fuck... It's overwhelming... Everything is just too much" she says and he understands every word.

"Hey it's okay, I get it" he feels a sob rip through her and it shakes her body, so he holds her tighter against him.

"I guess I just miss my band... And my family and your family... And everything with matty is just confusing me and..." She just continues to cry then. Often Lou would feel everything all at once and it would take one thing to get all the things she had been pushing away to come to the surface. And the catalyst this time was Matty.

"I said if he hurts you I will kill him" George warns and she pulls back to look at him.

"No George. It's not that... It's just... He's being really kind and sweet now and everything on stage.... It was lovely but it's just confusing" she says and George nods down at her, thumbs swiping under her cheeks to remove the tears. He knows how she's feeling without her even having to say it and he knows what she really wants to say.

"You're my best friend right?" He asks and she nods "like my sister" and she nods again.

"I know you better than anyone and you know me better than anyone" she nods again.

"You're confused because you think you might genuinely fall for him and you're scared of what would happen if you let yourself fall" he says and his words hit her like a ton of bricks. Her mouth falls open and he chuckles lightly. He pulls her against him again, delivering a soft peck to her forehead.

"I know you're scared... Think he is too... Because this might be the greatest thing that could happen to both of you... If you treat each other the way you should" he says and she knows he's right.

"I know I said a lot of shit... But I think it would be pretty epic if my two best friends loved each other" he continues and she looks up at him then.

"Thanks G" she says, he always had her back and knew what to say and how to help.

"Better still have time for me though" he says making her laugh.

"I'll always have time for you G, you're my best friend. Always"

"Always" they hug one more time before she tidies herself up, the pair returning to the group who are chatting away about god knows what.

Matty's eyes find hers and he smiles at her and that makes her smile.

"Good?" He mouths and she nods "good"

Part 5

[shipsational]

Hi!!!👋🏾😊

I'm curious about your self insert for the golden trio. How did they meet Johnny and Jack? And, anything else you'd like to share about them. No pressure, though.😊 Sorry if you already answered this question somewhere before, lol.

absolutely! Okay So the thing is the insert for jack and johnny normally is kinda Just Me, but in the CN city bumper crossover universe (im actually considering making a much bigger, nonsensical crossover world for all my f/os but we'll see!) unfortunately beyond that im still ironing out the specifics with my insert there, since its gonna be a part of something so extensive

however! beyond that, i Also have a fun and funky au for them that leans way more into the vibes of jack's canon- i call it Samurai Bravo: Space Opera, and its about me and the boys traveling through a retro futuristic sci-fi universe (think cowboy bebop meets lupin lll out of touch (synthwave remix) vibes lol) where aku is still the evil in charge of the greater worlds, and jack is from a family that was destroyed by him. he's dedicated his whole life to taking aku down, and this eventually leads him into a bar looking for information, and this is where johnny comes in.

johnny in the space opera au is something of an idiot savant- he's actually one of aku's top assassins despite being dense like a brick bless his heart. he's only in the business to take care of his mama of course.

but in this bar, some guys pick a fight with jack because that just sorta happens to him when people see he has a samurai sword and want to know just how tough he thinks he is. since johnny is a pretty good guy when he's off the clock, he steps in to help jack and its a real bar rager, and maybe they get a little flirty when they escape out the back door when things get out of hand, whatever its not like they'll ever see each other again anyway- except for a few days later when johnny is told that he has to go take care of the cute samurai he met. this is doubly unfortunate when i, his childhood best friend, overhear the phone call about his dangerous double life and he has to decide what to do about that.

well turns out that the thing he decides to do is to basically kidnap and hide me away somewhere that i'll be safe since i now know too much, and then he's off to try and kill jack.

obviously eventually we work it all out and decide to go on the run together to all try and stop aku. unfortunately bunny bravo might have had to die to catalyst johnny into going against aku but thats angst and plot for ya!

i'll of course add more to this eventually, and i need to actually get down a design for my insert (since its scifi im lowkey considering making them partially alien or something but we'll see!

as a fun little bonus, years ago before i was openly proship, i participated in a selfship halloween event, and i came in second place! it was for this moodboard and the idea that the three of us got stuck in a scoooby doo esque haunted house

and this was the little prize doodle i got for it! my insert had really long brown hair at the time cause I had really long brown hair (it was exaggerated of course)

i really hope the proship selfship community does similar events sometime if they dont already