#no all he wants is Alastor to call him a good boy while he fucks him

[eggcats]

hi, sorry, but the only time Vox ever "tops" is when he is ON top of Alastor riding him for all he's worth

[selineram3421]

*deep breath* Ok, someone found a loophole. Requested through messages.

Aftercare Headcanons

Alastor/Angel/Husk X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ suggestive/implied, implied nudity, fluff, implied biting/scratching/bruising, consent ⚠

So after your...ahem..activities, this is what the boys do.

Alastor🎙

Of course he's going to treat you like a God after something so tiring. Only the best of the best for his significant other.

Everything is taken care of. Don't you dare try to lift a finger.

Can you? I mean *cough cough*

Has the bath prepared with rose petals and candles, water at the perfect temperature. He does join you.

Towels and robes folded on the counter nearby the hygiene products.

His shadows take care of cleaning up the bed and changing the sheets.

Will sometimes apologize about the marks left on your skin. Depends.. He does like some of them.

Sometimes he'll add more

Expect a lot of cuddles and kisses while you are being taken care of in the water.

And some sweet talking.

"Tu as goûté devine ma chéri/e~" (You tasted devine my darling~)

Want a massage? Of course.

Food or drinks? Already taken care of.

Once you're ready to get out of the bath, don't bother on getting up. He'll pick you up and dry you himself.

Once in your towel or robe, he'll carry you back to the now clean bed and make sure you're comfortable.

He'll dress you up too if you asked.

If not then he'll bring you your clothes, kissing you on the forehead once you have them in your hands.

No? Nothing at all?

Now you're tempting him.

"Be careful darling."

Won't do anything unless you want to.

He'll hold you close as you sleep.

Extra

Angel🕸

He'll have everything set up for you to take care of each other on the days he's not exhausted from work. Sometimes its a last minute thing.

Wipes or rags are on the nightstand. Along with some other things like a water bottle and easy snacks.

There's a towel on the bed so you don't have to switch the sheets.

He'll clean you up with those first or will scoop you up to the bathroom. Or maybe you scoop him up?

Gets the bath or shower ready while you make sure to get the face masks and robes/towels out.

Expect kisses and tickles while helping each other clean off.

Aw

Once out of the water, both of you put on your robes/towels and get the face masks.

"Fuck babe, you left marks.", he'll say after checking himself in the mirror. "Can you make more?"

You help him dry off as best as you can, giving him kisses as you go.

He might take the kissing up a notch and turn it into a make out session...

Or more

Then its face masks time!

After that, you both get ready to cuddle up in bed and watch t.v.

Fat Nuggets joins the two of you and makes themselves comfortable under one of the blankets.

Pig in a blanket

Helps you take off your face mask when noticing you getting sleepy.

Will kiss you goodnight and spoon you/or be the little spoon.

Husk🃏

He'll do what he can for you. He won't admit it but he went to Angel for some advice and bought whatever he needed to make sure you were taken care of.

He'll help you clean off before offering the shower.

A little awkward because he has not done something like this in a long time. Will start the water if you asked/or teach you how to work the water.

Is a little shy if you ask him to join you.

"You won't like the wet cat look."

He'll go get drinks and snacks if he doesn't join you. If he does join, then he'll call room service beforehand.

Expect kisses and gentle touches while in the water.

Notices that he did leave some marks.

Cat pupils go =◽^◽= > =⬜^⬜=

Let's you out first because he'll get embarrassed if you see his fur puff up after drying off.

Or you do see it and it makes you smile.

When he gets out, he sees that you've taken care of the bed sheets and opened a bottle.

Accepts the cup you offer him and sits next to you.

Feed each other snacks, maybe share a few more kisses. Might turn into a make out..

"I had a good time."

Falls asleep first while holding you and purrs.

*screams into pillow*

~Seline, the person.

Taglist@

@c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @naelys-the-aster @willowaudreykeyes @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @lbcreations-blog @+?

MLS Alastor, Angel, Husk

[a-hazbin-reader]

OK ANOTHER IDEA

OK SO WE KNOW THAT ALASTOR IS A MAMAS BOY AND HAS AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP WITH HER

SO WHAT IF ALASTOR HAD A FEM S/O BUT SHE HAS A TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM, ITS JUST SO EMOTIONALLY TOXIC (especially with reader being an older sibling)

reader never tells him though because alastors relationship with his mom is good and she doesn’t wanna make him feel bad whenever he talks about her and one day readers mom comes to the hotel and reader DREADS it and becomes snappy but readers mom wins everyone over (of course alastor too). So when reader explains that she doesn’t want her mom around alastor can’t understand why and reader feels betrayed its only later when readers mom shows her true colors towards reader. And reader of course bites back (or at least tries too)

So basically angst to fluff and SORRY IF THATS SO MUCH😭😭

👀 Mommy issues??? 👀

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Emotionally Abusive mother, Reader suffering, Reader gets grabbed a few times, Ambiguous ending for mama

Description: ☝️⬆️

When it comes to mothers, it's safe to say you and Alastor had very different experiences

His mother was full of warmth and kindness towards him, doing her best to build him up into a great man

She loved him greatly and it shows whenever he talks about her

But your mother?? Your mother saw you as fucking competition and always found ways to put you down, to make herself better than you

Well maybe she should be the one who was cooking the meals, getting your younger siblings off to school on time or making sure everyone had clean clothes

Just the thought of her made your stomach flip and your legs shake

She would put you down all your life while claiming it was so that you could be a great woman just like her, but not too great, you have to remember who the better woman is

Well now you're both in hell so-

You put as much distance between her and yourself as you could, living your afterlife without her influence

You even got yourself a handsome powerful overlord boyfriend and new friends to share your life with

Even though you're supposed to be in hell, you couldn't be happier

At least you were until your mother showed up at the hotel, her face full of faux worry and tears

"Oh my precious girl! This is where you've been hiding? I was so worried!!"

Before Charlie can even shut the door, your mother has already shoved her way inside and literally dug her claws into you, hugging you

It's all you can do not to throw up, smothered by her familiar scent and grip, hearing her voice again after all this time

"Now let Mommy take a look at you-oh!!! And here I was worried that you were starving! Good to know you've put some weight on those bones!"

And it's already starting-

And now she's crying and rocking you in her arms, cooing about how much she's missed you and how she's never letting you go again

Charlie and the others are just staring at the two of you, completely enraptured by your mother, like everyone always is

She loved being the center of attention

When you finally come to your senses you push her away and create some distance, disturbed by the worried looks everyone is giving her

"Mom, why are you here?"

Oh don't everyone look at you like you're the bad guy!! She's the one who's only here because she wants something!!

"Maybe I wouldn't have to come track you down if you would just visit your poor mother every once in a while...she never even calls me, you know!"

And now she's crying again, Charlie immediately going to comfort her while Vaggie gives you a dirty look

Fucking mommy issues much? Don't fall for this crap

"I don't want to visit you, so just leave-"

"Well now, who is this~?"

Alastor! Yes! He can make her leave! You turn to give your boyfriend a pleading look but your mother catches his attention first

"Oh don't worry about who I am.. just a poor lonely mother who came to see her daughter...but I guess I'll show myself out.."

Alastor doesn't have to guess who she's talking about, even in death you always looked like your mother

His smile gets surprisingly warm and soft, taking your mother's hand in his own in a disgusting display of affection that used to only be for you

"You're Y/N's mother? My my, I should've guessed! You must have so many stories of her from her life! I simply must insist that you say."

ALASTOR NO

You feel sick but nobody notices, your mother already soaking up their attention and winning their hearts

So you turn and leave the hotel, unable to stand being in her presence any longer, you don't miss the smug look she gives you on your way out

You spend all day trying to avoid going back to the hotel until you're sure your mother is gone

You're more than disappointed to find her drinking tea with Alastor, the two of them laughing, her placing her hand on top of his

She always used to try and go after your boyfriends and that hasn't changed either

She hasn't changed

"Oh darling~! We hadn't realized you left! Alastor and I were simply having a moment~"

Alastor lights up when he sees you, only to be visibly confused by your troubled expression

"Y/N! Your mother was just telling me about her life before you! She was quite a wildcard back then!"

Your mother is practically drooling over him, rubbing his hand and winking

"I'm still wild if you ever care to find out!"

You've had it

You tug your mother's hand off of Alastor, forcing her to stand up and look you in the eyes

"You need to leave! Right now!"

And here come the waterworks again

"Y/N..! Darling, what did I do wrong? I'm your mother please don't throw me out like this!"

You just start pushing her towards the door and you slam it shut behind her, sighing in relief

That is until you look at Alastor's face, his smile seeming strained

"Y/N! You can't just throw her out like that, not only is that bad manners but that's no way to treat the woman who raised you!"

Raised you? You raised yourself!!

"Alastor, you don't know what you're talking about so please just stay out of it. You don't know what she's like-"

You're trying to stay calm-

"She's your mother, it's not like she's some evil creature-"

"SHE'S IN HELL OF COURSE SHE'S EVIL-"

"So are you and I, my dear."

You try to put your foot down, tell him that you don't want her here but he's already opening the door for her and letting her back in

She looks so pleased with herself

He invites her to stay the night because of course he does, he would do it for his own mother so why not yours

You try not to give her the satisfaction of seeing you cry but your eyes are already hot and watery

"I-I'm going to bed..!"

Alastor calls for you, trying to resolve things then and there but the only response he gets is your door slamming shut

He goes to go after you but your mother stops him with a gentle hand to the shoulder

"Now now...let her cool off for a bit then I'll go make sure she's alright, a mother always knows how to cheer up her child~"

It feels like you spend hours crying in your bed, feeling so hurt that Alastor took her side over yours

Your mom isn't like his, she doesn't nurture, she just takes from you and bullies you

Later, just when you've about cried yourself to sleep, you hear the bedroom door open

"Alastor..?"

"Not a chance, pet."

Now what does she want

"Why are you even here?"

Suddenly she pounces on you, grabbing your wrists tightly, eyes wild with fury she must've been containing this whole time

You don't even know why she's so mad at you, you haven't seen her in years-

"You think you're better than me now, is that it? Now that you're on your own, living in some fancy hotel, got some powerful boytoy, hiding behind hell's princess?"

As a kid, she seemed so strong but now you easily rip out of her grasp and manage to create some distance between you two

"I'm not hiding behind anyone! I'm just trying to get away from you!"

"Oh no no no, that's not how this works! I am your mother! If I have to be miserable and live in filth then so do you!"

"Why are you even here!?"

"Because it's not fair! I deserve to be here! Not some ungrateful little bitch who just happened to fall out of me!"

She lunges at you and you try to dodge her but she manages to grab you by your hair, yanking you back

You're about to start swinging when Alastor is suddenly there, watching the two of you in bewilderment

Then that bewilderment melts away into understanding, then anger

The radio sounds in the room are suddenly deafening, your mother letting go of you so she can cover her ears

You take the chance to kick her away, watching as she tumbles and loses consciousness from the impact

Alastor kneels beside you but you flinch away from him, still feeling hurt

"Y/N...I'm so sorry..." He does look properly ashamed, his smile a little watery

"Why didn't you just tell me that she was like this..?"

How could you even begin to start?? That you didn't want to somehow sour his opinion of mothers by telling him about your own?

That you didn't want him to feel guilty for having a mother who loved him while you grew up having to be a mother to your siblings because your own mom had none to give??

It's just word vomit at this point, but Alastor simply gathers you into his arms, tutting as he checks your scalp and fixes your hair

When he gets to your wrists where your mother grabbed than his smile turns positively venomous, giving your mother a deadly look

"What do you want me to do with her? Anything you ask..."

You're a little irritated that he brought her up, having been too relaxed by the feeling of his lips against your palm

"I just want her out of here..."

And that's all it takes, Alastor calls for Niffty and has her take out the trash, her scuttling out gleefully while dragging your mother

Niffty doesn't even care, she's just happy to have a new toy

You didn't realize how stressed out you were until it was just the two of you, Alastor rubbing your back soothingly

You don't know when you fall asleep but when you wake up Alastor is kissing the side of your face, looking as apologetic as he can be

You manage to convince him to apologize in morning snuggles and by the time you two come downstairs everyone else is awake

"Where is Y/N's mom?"

Not Niffty giggling and running out of the room

Alastor simply shakes his head and wraps an arm around your waist to hold you closer

"She is gone and won't ever be visiting again, I would like to ask that nobody brings her up again~"

Something about the way he says it manages to shut everyone up

Alastor takes you out to eat your favorite breakfast and spends the day spoiling you

He doesn't bring up the events of last night until the two of you are in bed, entangled in each other's arms

"You didn't ruin my opinion of mothers, you know."

"I didn't?"

"No, in fact, it sounds like you were quite the mother back in your day~"

Not his hand rubbing your belly

OH MAMA THIS ONE TOOK ALL DAY! I hope you liked it!!

[junabuggy]

Hazbin Hotel crew x Reader: general fluff hcs

A/n: 100+ follower special !!

I’ve been doing a lot of headcanons lately so I pinky promise there’ll be some kind of oneshot coming soon 🙏

Warnings: None !! Just some good old fashioned fluff :3

Fluff✔️ Comfort❌ Angst❌ Smut❌

‧₊˚✧ Alastor ✧˚₊‧

📻𖤐 When Alastor forms a close bond with you (and I’ve mentioned this before), he’d want to spend more time with you. Even if that’s just sitting in silence together and reading your own separate books

📻𖤐 Who knows? Maybe he’d let you lean against him, head on his shoulder, as he reads to you?

📻𖤐 This guys primary love language is quality time for sure. A close second perhaps acts of service.

📻𖤐 Biggest mamas boy ever…. But I’m sure we all knew that already

📻𖤐 LOVES to go on walks with you, especially during the afternoon or at night.

📻𖤐 Would link your arm with his and chat with you as you went on your daily stroll together… you’re not quite sure when it became a routine but it did.

📻𖤐 Huuuggeee story teller

📻𖤐 100% laughs at dad jokes and will also make them from time to time

📻𖤐 Always winning every single IDGAF war because he genuinely, wholeheartedly, just doesn’t give two shits 💀💀

📻𖤐 Can’t swim. I don’t know how to explain why I think this but I just KNOW its true

📻𖤐 Freezes like a deer in headlights (quite literally) when you shine a bright enough light at him

‧₊˚✧ Angel Dust ✧˚₊‧

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Angel would be the absolute BEST at giving out hugs oh my goddd, he’s got six arms for a reason, baby !

🕸️ᥫ᭡ I feel like he’d have fun dancing !! (I mean “Loser, Baby” was enough evidence for me)

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Competitive as fuck, UNO would actually be so fun with him 😭 (gets so genuinely excited when he wins too, gloating about it and everything like he just won the lottery)

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Biggest shoplifter ever and most of the time it’s not even because he can’t afford it, he just does it for fun.

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Smells realllyyy good all the time, he’s got the best perfumes ever

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Spa-days/Self-care days quickly become a Saturday night thing for you two once you become one of his besties. And I’m talking the whole shabang like face masks, candles lit and snack tray out as he paints your nails for you 💕

🕸️ᥫ᭡ It’s something Angel genuinely looks forward to as well (ᵒ̴̶̷᷄⩊ᵒ̴̶̷᷅)

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Primary love language is most likely physical touch, we’ve all seen how touchy he can get 🤞

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Getting to know his real name and getting to call him by it means he trusts you a lot, he doesn’t give that privilege out to just anybody.

🕸️ᥫ᭡ On a less serious note, he’s definitely a huge show off 💀💀

🕸️ᥫ᭡ Amazing at doing makeup, will do your makeup if you asked him to (might accidentally poke you in the eye or something though lmfaoo)

‧₊˚✧ Husker ✧˚₊‧

🍺🃁 Needs glasses and HAS them but just doesn’t wear them for whatever reason. He looks good in them though !!

🍺🃁 Cheats in any card game ever. Wins 9/10 against you because of that reason (he’s also a gambler so that’s a big factor as well obviously)

🍺🃁 Bros the type of guy to call you “doll” and “baby”

🍺🃁 Primary love language?? quality time 🙏 🙏acts of service and physical touch are both tied for second place (but you only ever really get the physical touch one if you’re his s/o)

🍺🃁 Again, we all saw “Loser, Baby” this mf can DANCE and he enjoys it too

🍺🃁 Jazz is one of Huskers favourite music genres for sure

🍺🃁 You two don’t really have a routine hangout type thing but he does enjoy it when you come around to the bar to just hang out with him while he cleans and whatnot :3

🍺🃁 Trust, you will be given a specialized nickname just for you once he considers you a close friend of his.

🍺🃁 He’s a great listener but gives very blunt advice, doesn’t sugarcoat shit if you ask him for his opinion on something.

🍺🃁 Weirdly caught up with mental health stuff, like he knows a lot about it

🍺🃁 Poor Husker does NOT like the cat noises he makes but he literally cannot control them 😭😭 (believe me, he’s tried)

‧₊˚✧ Vaggie ✧˚₊‧

🗡️☪︎ Vaggie is NOT a morning person, usually sleeps in until around noon

🗡️☪︎ Would have good fashion taste

🗡️☪︎ Vaggie is also a very competitive UNO player, probably ends up yelling at Alastor for making her pick up all those “pick up four” cards when everyone plays together (yes, he looks smug as fuck while doing it and yes he was saving them just for her 💀💀)

🗡️☪︎ Has beef with almost all of the guys at the hotel but Husker is chill for the most part

🗡️☪︎ Adding onto that last one, it doesn’t really take much for a man to piss her off tbh (she’s so real for this)

🗡️☪︎ Would spar with you if you asked and gets really into it too !! She’s careful not to actually hurt you though and it’s a great way of bonding with her (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

🗡️☪︎ Verrryyyyy jealous girl, remember when Emily took Charlie’s hands in the heaven episode?? (The look on her face made me giggle)

🗡️☪︎ Hates pickles. She just looks like she’d be a pickle hater

🗡️☪︎ Primary love language is words of affirmation

‧₊˚✧ Charlie ✧˚₊‧

⭐️☀︎ Charlie is infact a morning person and wakes up at the crack of dawn everyday for zero reason whatsoever 💀

⭐️☀︎ She does her absolute best to include everyone in every activity going on, she doesn’t ever want anybody in the hotel to feel excluded

⭐️☀︎ Biggest shipper EVER. You ever told her you have a crush on someone here?? Oh god..

⭐️☀︎ She’ll silently fan girl from a distance whenever you and your crush are together to the point Vaggie has to drag her away

⭐️☀︎ Charlie can be a little bit overwhelming at times but her happiness is suppeerrr contagious

⭐️☀︎ The best way to spend time and bond with her?? Literally just offer to do anything with her and she’ll do it, I don’t think she’s too picky

⭐️☀︎ Learnt some Spanish from Vaggie and tries to use it with her to be all romantic but her pronunciations are fucked up (She’s trying her hardest guys okay 😞🙏)

⭐️☀︎ Totally asked Vaggie one time as a pick up line if she fell from heaven and she broke out into a sweat (poor girl)

⭐️☀︎ Primary love language is words of affirmation. quality time is somewhere up there too though

⭐️☀︎ Will break out into song a lot and it’s kinda funny to watch

‧₊˚✧ Niffty ✧˚₊‧

🧼𐙚 Acts a lot like a hyperactive toddler on crack. Has zero chill and it’s pretty rare to see her actually calm

🧼𐙚 I think Niffty lowkey has stage freight, like we all see how she just automatically freezes up when a camera is on (I mean it’s happened twice in the show already)

🧼𐙚 Takes a lot after Alastor, sees him as some sort of older brother figure as well 😞🩵

🧼𐙚 When playing UNO, she’d fucking EAT the cards so she’d win. Deadass just nom nom nom that shit

🧼𐙚 She’s a big giggler, she’ll laugh and giggle at almost everything so it’s not hard to get her to do so

🧼𐙚 She’d probably really enjoy it if you let her just sit with you for a while and braid your hair (But she’d steal some for her “collection” in the process)

🧼𐙚 I’m actually not too sure what Nifftys love language would even be? Perhaps acts of service (she is a maid, after all)

🧼𐙚 Okay 99% sure this is actually canon but she’s a hardcore germophobe, can’t handle when things are cluttered or a mess.

🧼𐙚 Has a collection of cleaning supplies in her room

+ Bonus !!

‧₊˚✧ Vox ✧˚₊‧

📺☆ Whenever Vox is sleeping or thinking really hard about something, the voxtek symbol will bounce around on his screen like the DVD logo thing

📺☆ Not very big on pda, he has an image to uphold, after all. (But he would enjoy affection in private though)

📺☆ Not above watching you through whatever technology you have, he spies on you a lot 💀💀

📺☆ Also guys…… stop pretending Vox isn’t a whiny little bitch, because he is (trust me y’all, read some of @bigfatbimbo’s stuff)

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞

ᯓ★ 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐲

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: “-so we have TONS of angel-killing weapons now, thanks to Vaggie! Who had a lovely… Errrr. Fight?”

Vaggie: “It was pretty one sided. Call it a training match.”

Charlie: “She had a lovely training match with Carmilla Carmine! Who repeatedly kneed and kicked her in the face, which I’m not allowed to get upset about, because Vaggie isn’t upset about it!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh that sssounds… Pleasssant?”

Angel Dust: “Of course the one time Saint Sapphic isn’t pissed is when someone actually beats the crap outta her.”

Husk: “Wha’d I say? She’s got issues.”

Niffty: “Kneed in the face by Carmilla Carmine!?” (wistful sigh) “Lucky…”

Husk: “And you’ve got even worse issues, somehow.”

Vaggie: “Meanwhile, Charlie was off singing herself up a whole army in Cannibal Town.”

Charlie: “I wouldn’t call them a whole army-”

Vaggie: “They barely fit inside the hotel, babe.”

Charlie: “-and I wouldn’t really call it mine. Alastor and Rosie helped!”

Vaggie: “Did they give you the cannibal army?”

Charlie: “Nnnnoooo… I mean they did introduce me, but I had to do the convincing part myself.”

Vaggie: “Then it’s your army.”

Charlie: “Huh.”

Charlie: “…..hm.”

Vaggie: “Feels kinda nice, doesn’t it?”

Charlie: (giggling) “Maaaybe a little~”

Angel Dust: “If yous two LBs start kissin’ about the literal man eating army now under ya sway, I’m gonna be sick.”

Vaggie: “Aren’t you supposed to have zero gag reflex?”

Angel Dust: “That’s for sex stuff, Vaggitales. This is sappy and sincere.”

Husk: “A word that’s barely in your fucking vocabulary.”

Charlie: “Now Husk, you know that’s not true-”

Angel Dust: “Oh it’s true baby! But I’d be sucha a gooood little school boy if ya wanted to try teachin’ me, Purrrrfessor~”

Husk: “Can we feed him to the cannibals.”

Charlie: “No!”

Vaggie: “If they get sick before the big fight then we’re all dead.”

Angel Dust: “Hey!”

Sir Pentious: (SNIFFLING)

Charlie: “Oh oh Pen! Don’t be scared- no one’s feeding anyone to any cannibals!”

Vaggie: “Well. We’re not feeding anyone from the hotel to them…”

Charlie: “You hush, beautiful. Now there there Pentious, what wrong?”

Sir Pentious: “Nothing issss now! But EVERYTHING wasss, while you and missss Vaggie were fighting!”

Vaggie: “We weren’t-”

Charlie: “That was just me being-”

Vaggie & Charlie: “...”

Vaggie: “Sorry, you go-”

Charlie: “No no after you!”

Vaggie & Charlie: “..…..”

Hotel Crew: “….”

Vaggie: “Charlie had good reasons for being angry-”

Charlie: “I wasn’t angry! Or, not the way I THOUGHT I was? It’s complicated-”

Vaggie: “Valid. Reasonable. Way more forgiving than called for.”

Charlie: “If I’d just TALKED with you like you’d WANTED-”

Vaggie: “You didn’t want to. That’s fair.”

Charlie: “I guess, but. It wasn’t fun.”

Sir Pentious: “No it wasss not!” (crying) “It sssseemed as though you were ssssplitting up! L-leaving ussss! It wasss! DREADFUL!!”

Charlie: “Ohhhhh nooooo we would never-!”

Vaggie: “The hotel thing is kinda bigger than one relationship, Pentious. We’re not giving up on you guys.”

Charlie: “-and that’s also why we’d never break up.”

Vaggie: “Never’s a long time sweetie… and three years was a long time too.”

Charlie: “Not with you it wasn’t. And forever won’t be either.”

Vaggie: “…”

Angel Dust: “If you cry, I really will throw up.”

Vaggie: “Shut up.”

Charlie: (hugs vaggie) “See, Pen? You don’t have to worry about us, okay?”

Sir Pentious: “Okay. Y-essss.”

Charlie: “Shh sshh, please don’t cry…”

Sir Pentious: (wailing) “I can’t help it!!!”

Vaggie: “Hey, how come HIS tears aren’t vomit worthy but MINE are??”

Angel Dust: “Cuz he’s a sad snake boy in a top hat that cuddles with eggs, and you’re supposed to be tough as nails and impossible to fucking break, Vagina. Seein’ ya as being anything other than gay or pissed? Stomach turning. Yuck” 

Husk: “You’ve got issues too, dumbass.”

Angel Dust: “I know.” (preens) “But they look GOOD on me~”

Sir Pentious: (snuffles) “It’sss jussst so good, sssssseeing you two the way you sssshould be! Ugh.” (dripping) “May I borrow a, a tisssssue, Niffty?”

Niffty: “SURE-”

Husk: “You don’t fucking want that or to know where the fuck it’s been. Here. Napkin.”

Sir Pentious: “Thankssss!”

Sir Pentious:  (LOUD NOSE BLOWING HONK)

Charlie: “Better?”

Sir Pentious: “Much, yessss. But how did you manage it?”

Charlie: “Manage what?”

Sir Pentious: “Fixssssing thingsss between you! After it wasss so bad!”

Husk: “Without any alcohol, even.”

Sir Pentious: "Or exssssplossions!"

Angel Dust: “Yeah toots, three years of not sayin’ she was an angel is a pretty big shit pile to have dropped on ya, even in hell.”

Niffty: “YEAH VAGGIE! HOW MANY SOULS HAVE YOU KILLED?!”

Vaggie: “Thousands.”

Husk: “FUCK.”

Niffty: “OoooOOoohhhhh~”

Angel Dust: “Now that’s a body count. Like, not a good one but. Wow.”

Sir Pentious: “Sssee? And now Charlie isss hugging you! How iss that possssible?”

Vaggie: “… I don’t… I, gave her space….”

Charlie: “She’s Vaggie. I already knew who she was.”

Husk: “Exorcist.”

Angel Dust: “Liar?”

Niffty: “Mass MURDERER heheheh…”

Charlie: “My partner.”

Sir Pentious: “I don’t underssstand! Did ssshe sssay ssssorry?”

Vaggie: “Sorry really wouldn’t cut it.”

Charlie: (laughing) “She helped me start the hotel- and run it- and get my dad’s help talking to heaven, and- more things than I can count, honestly! Doesn’t that say enough?”

Sir Pentious: “Oh… ssso wordsss are not… what mattersss?”

Charlie: “They can matter, but it’s what we DO that makes them mean anything.”   

Sir Pentious: "...what we... do?"

Angel Dust: “Like how heaven and it’s angels say it’s all full of great people up there but then they go an' leave us all to rot and die, yeah?”

Charlie: “Vaggie didn’t."

Angel Dust: "Score! Hell's got ONE angry lesbian on it's side!"

Charlie: "And I won’t either.”

Hotel Crew: “…”

Husk: “Are we done. I need a drink.”

Vaggie: “Y-eah.” (hoarse) (clears throat) “That’s where we’re at now. Any questions?”

Angel Dust: (raises hands) “Husk has one!”

Husk: “Fuck you no I don’t-”

Angel Dust: “Sure ya do babypaws. What the FUCK-”

Angel Dust: (points at Vaggie’s wings)

Angel Dust: “-are THOOOOOOSE???”

Vaggie: “…Those are my wings. Asshole.”

Angel Dust: “Bitch~”

Husk: “Motherfucking dumbasses.”

Charlie: “Angel please, it’s rude to point like that! And to um. Say the other part also- but that’s okay I know you mean it in a nice way!”

Angel Dust: “An’ what about Saint Vagatha huh? She called me shit too! Was that her bein’ nice?”

Charlie: “She-”

Vaggie: “I’m nicely not stabbing you.”

Charlie: “-she’s trying her best.”

Angel Dust: “By not stabbing me?”

Husk: “Now that’s impressive as hell.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Angel Dust: “Hmph. Lucky a guy can take pride in people wantin' to stick stuff in him...”

Sir Pentious: “Vaggie? Pleasse pardon the quesstion, however I ssssseem to recall you sssaying you didn’t HAVE any, ah, wingssss?”

Niffty: “Or tits!”

Vaggie: “They grew back.”

Niffty: “Did your t-”

Vaggie: “Niffty-” (groans) “Look, there’s a cockroach over there. Go hunt, kill- whatever.”

Niffty: "KILL KILL KILL-!"

Charlie: “Aren’t her wings AMAZING! LOOK AT THEM!!! You guys have no idea how soft-! wait they what? Grew back?”

Angel Dust: (grinning) “What about your-”

Vaggie: “Ask about my tits twice in one day and die.”

Charlie: “They were gone? You weren’t just hiding them- Twice?”

Niffty: (on vaggie’s shoulder) (checking down her shirt) “Nope! Tits still missing. Nice pecs though!”

Vaggie: “………”

Angel Dust: “She said it, not me!!”

Vaggie: (SIGH) “These are the people I’m about to risk my life for.”

Charlie: “I feel like I’ve missed something important..?”

Husk: “No you fucking haven’t.”

Angel Dust: “So oh heavenly cunt, what the fuck did ya do with Carmine to get the feather dusters reinstated?”

Vaggie: “No idea. Uh- Thought gay thoughts about Charlie? I guess?”

Charlie: “Awww~!”

Sir Pentious: “Aww!!”

Vaggie: “And mostly non-violent thoughts about the rest of you.”

Niffty: “Booo…”

Vaggie: “Anyway, since Lute didn’t use heavenly steel while tearing them off my back, I guess they just needed time to heal up or whatever.”

Charlie: “I’m SO gonna send a thank-you note to Carmilla for helping you with… tha….”

Charlie: “….tEARING? She, Lute-”

Vaggie: “Not now. Tell you later, babe.”

Charlie: “BUt- I’ve met her TWICE and you didn’t say-!”                   

Vaggie: “Let’s focus on finishing debriefing the troo- the friends for now. ‘kay?”

Charlie: “I…”

Angel Dust: “I TOLD YA IDIOTS IT MIGHT BE A SENSITIVE FUCKING TOPIC!”

Husk: “Then why the fuck did you bring it up!?”

Angel Dust: “My mouth likes to be open and stupid shit comes out of it sometimes- I dunno!”

Vaggie: “Yeah well I’m so not about to start spilling the gory details in the hotel lobby. The cannibals are already starting to look hungry. If we’re up to date on the mission statement and current crew resource management situation, then-”

Niffty: “Hey Vaggie, Vaggieee.”

Vaggie: “What.”

Niffty: (giggles) “Did Lute steal your tits too?”

Vaggie: “….”

Angel Dust: “…what? Don’t glare at ME about ya blindly obvious shortfall in that depar-Tit-ment-”

Husk: “Shut up before she fucking tests some of her new shiny weapons on you.”

Vaggie: “Don’t give me ideas.”

Charlie: “Why is everyone talking about my girlfriend’s breasts. She got her wings ripped off and suddenly has them back, and we’re all just, talking about bra size???”

Angel Dust: “Toots, if she wears bras, it’s gotta be just so’s she looks good for you.”

Vaggie: “I’ll take that compliment.”

Angel Dust: “I wasn’t sayin’ it as one-”

Vaggie: “Change your mind or lose your hair.”

Angel Dust: “-you’re a very loving lesbian and ya make Sappho the OG herself proud.”

Vaggie: “Better.”

Sir Pentious: “E-excusssse me!? Thisss, sssssadistic Lute person iss, ssssssomeone we will be fighting against..?”

Vaggie: “Yeah but I’ll handle her, don’t worry.”

Charlie: “wHAT!?”

Vaggie: “I said, I’m the one who knows how she fights anyway, so I’ll-”

Charlie: “YOU. WILL. NOT-”

Demon Charlie: “-NIFFTY DON’T YOU DARE STUFF THAT DEAD COCKROACH DOWN MY GIRLFRIEND’S SHIRT!!!”

Vaggie: “AUGH?!”

Niffty: “Aww.”

Angel Dust: “Oh that’s nasty.”

Husk: "Hreaugh." (hairball noise) “Whatever’s wrong with you, Niffty, never EVER fucking tell me what it is.”

Niffty: (waving cockroach) “It’s just for padding~ You know what they say! Every little bit helps! Right?”

Charlie & Vaggie: “NO!”

Niffty: (CACKLING)

Sir Pentious: “…..thisss isss, sssssso beautiful….”

Husk: “The fucking cockroach?”

Sir Pentious: “No. Them.” (wipes tear) “They’re ssstill, hugging.”

Angel Dust: “Yeah... It’s almost sweet enough to make a guy puke.”

Husk: “Almost?”

Angel Dust: “Well I’m not gonna ruin the mood for them by actually puking!”

Husk: (smiles) “Uh-huh.”

Angel Dust: “Plus, think of my boots! What if they got splashed on and shit?”

Husk: “Right.”

Angel Dust: “And Niffty’s doin’ good work breakin’ the tension and grossin’ them out anyway…”

Husk: “Mm-hmm.”

Angel Dust: “….And. It’s nice to see ‘em bein’ cute again.”

Husk: “…..”

Angel Dust: “….because it was weird when they weren’t and maybe, MAYBE, I was worried.”

Husk: “There we fucking go. Good boy.”

Angel Dust: “!!!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh that sseems to have cheered him up immenssely..”

Husk: "Fuck."

Angel Dust: “Oooh~ Nauseous to horny in less than a second? Damn, Purrrfessor. That’s a new record even for me~”

Husk: “Fuck no.” (fleeing)

Husk: “Alright, I’m opening the fucking bar! Come get your complimentary we might all be dying together soon drinks- and nobody fucking DARE ask me to use body parts in them. This isn’t fucking Cannibal Town. My drinks are good enough without fingers or eyeballs floating in them or whatever.”

Cannibal crowd: (grumbles but politely ques up for drinks)

Charlie: “I think maybe we’ll pass? Vaggie? Our room, us, alone, maybe?”

Vaggie: “Are we gonna talk about stuff?”

Charlie: “I would VERY MUCH like to talk about all things now yes please.”

Vaggie: “Then I’m gonna need a drink. Husk-”

Husk: “Take the fucking bottle.”

Angel Dust: “Here, and this bottle too!”

Charlie: “Oh thank you Angel D- is this LUBE!? Already OPENED lube!??!?”

Angel Dust: “Happy make-up sex~”

Charlie: “I- Vaggie no, not the spear- thanks, Angel Dust, but I think- Vaggie I said not the spear- I think we can do without borrowing your, uh, personal bottle of- okay that’s it, up over the shoulder you go. Hup!”

Vaggie: “I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna save him from the extermination by killing him RIGHT NOW!”

Charlie: “-and you told me to ignore you when you talk like that. Anyway, everyone else have good night with the drinks and cannibals!”

Angel Dust: "Will do, toots! You gays enjoy eatin' each other out!"

Vaggie: “Babe please just let me strangle him a little bit-”

Charlie: “Nope! We’re gonna go explore some past trauma!”

Angel Dust: “An’ each other’s bodies!!!”

Charlie: (carrying vaggie upstairs) “Not helping!”

Vaggie: (still struggling) “I don't NEED to talk about my trauma- i need to get my hands on that asshole twink!"

Angel Dust: "GET IN LINE BEHIND HALF OF HELL, VAG-GAY!"

Charlie: "Hold my hand instead?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (melting) (holds hand) "...fiiiiine."

[auxgustt]

can you maybe do husk headcanons :33 maybe nsfw ifffuwantt !!

husk nsfw/sfw hcs with gnreader ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ * ˚✦

﹌﹌﹌

sfw

he likes listening to you talk, as he does with every other guest, but he actually enjoys your stories. is he gonna make that obvious? absolutely not.

he gets jealous seeing you with anyone, but alastor in particular makes him want to fucking die, again. he would let alastor fuck up his life over and over again if it meant he didn't have to see the way alastor would try to make him mad by rubbing your arm the wrong way, or looking you up and down. (he knows he only does it to spite him, and he's fucking mad to say it works)

he worries a lot, he hates seeing you drunk, even though you're cute when you are. he worries about you hurting yourself by accident, or stumbling into the wrong part of hell when he's not there with you. he'd much prefer you to only get drunk at the hotel, at least then he knows that charlie wouldn't let anything dangerous into the hotel. at least anything more dangerous than who's already there.

he's always thinking of ways to get you to look at him, he loves being the center of your attention. he hates to admit that, and he also hates to admit that he loves when you come back to the hotel after a long day and ask if it's okay for you to pet his wings.

he loves kissing you. he makes you wear lipstick so when you kiss him, it stains his fur. he brags about you so much.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

nsfw

he's a fast learner, he hasn't had much experience but he's learned a lot since the first time he fucked you, and when he sees you lying in bed he can't help but rub his hand between your thighs. he loves watching you unintentionally arch your back, grinding into his claws.

if he's lying with you in bed and you start grinding into him, he's going to flip you over and fuck you into next week. he doesn't like teasing. (he does, but he won't admit that)

he feels embarrassed of his size, he doesn't have a huge dick but he's far from average. he's way too insecure for his own good, but you always make it better when you take his dick in your mouth and make him cum as many times as he can handle. he practically begs you to call him a good boy after you swallow his cum, and you always do, and praise his sweet dick by planting kisses along it and whispering how much you love him.

he loves making you choke on his cock, he worries about you all the time and when he does it he immediately feels guilty and pulls you up to look at him in the eyes while he makes sure you're okay.

[rubyclover]

Hear me out. Lucifer obviously has daddy issues (for 2 reasons) and a daddy kink. You can’t change my mind. I doubt he knows the kink exists but it wakes up after seeing Adam handle some rowdy hellborn children with finesse. The King is down bad. Wants nothing more than to lay his head between those pigeon pecs while being scolded and praised. He needs to be told where he succeeded at being a dad. Tell him how to do better. It would relax him so much to finally have some solid direction… and leave him horny.

The First Man was also The First Dad so he has all the tips and tricks after raising a herd full of kids with Eve.

Naturally Adam’s sinner ability is just DAD. The dude literally has a Dad Mode he snaps into. He looks 100% human; no horns or wings etc, just straight up disgruntled, plump, human rocker dad. The kind that teaches their kids swear words at age 2 to weaponize them and will fight the bully’s parents on no evidence. ‘These hands are rated E for Everyone! My snot nosed little rug rat said so!’

Imagine Adam arguing with Alastor when suddenly, without turning away from the roadkill eating prick, he screams-

Adam: ‘ANGEL DUST YOU TAKE THAT BACK OUT RIGHT NOW!!!’

*Angel Dust taking his bag full of drugs back out from the toilet’s water tank 2 floors up:* Holy shit how does he know?! I wasn’t doin’ nothin’!

*Adam now looking directly up at Angel Dust:* I have eyes everywhere (he does not) and can smell the disappointment from here (he can not). Fucking trash that shit or give it to the plants. I don't care which one but you're doing it NOW or so help me GOD I'll do it FOR you!

Half pint is just sitting on the couch trying not to pop a boner because his imagination is running wild. And it’s not even the vanilla daddy kink. It’s more like DILF kink mixed with daddy kink. It’s Adam’s surprising competency in an area that Lucifer struggles that gets him. He’s not looking to call Adam Daddy or anything.

How can Adam be such a cool Pa without flashy techniques? Able to pull trivia for getting food stains out of difficult fabric with random ingredients from the wild, how to tell when your kid has a crush years before they realize, know when to comfort teenagers and when to let them come to you, how to catch your kid in a lie? Magical!

Things like that.

Ok so yeah he wants to be called a good boy for trying to parent when everyone tells him he’s shit. Is that so much to ask? But Lucifer has competition from several powerful people in Hell because hello? The original DILF is in Hell now and he looks human. Nobody else looks close to that and rarity is scarcity in a depraved marketplace like Hell.

The problem is Dad Mode isn't a defensive or offensive ability. DM functions like the old fairytales surrounding parents supposedly having supernatural abilities. So Adam will just know things, appear suddenly when you're plotting mischief, vaguely see from the back of his head, cook food with mild physical and emotional healing properties and such. DM is funny but ultimately anyone can gank him.

So obviously the Big Bad King of Hell will have to watch over Adam so that no funny business happens. The new Sinner is practically defenseless. Exactly how Lucifer likes him because it's like Eden again. So Adam is living in The King's end of the wing, in his tower, and is rarely out of his sight.

Just low key daddy/dilf kink for Lucifer and Adam doing it for him.

[Note: Cain still killed Able but the majority of Adam and Eve’s time on Earth wasn’t as horrific as it could have been. The husband and wife mostly dealt with illnesses, ugly human emotions, sabotage, the wildlife and famine. Sin got worse after Adam's kids died because the angels stopped closely working with humanity. So while there is pain between Lucifer and Adam this version got lucky.]

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Unhinged Kitchen: Lucifer ft. Charlie

Lucifer: *standing at the kitchen counter with various ingredients around him* Hellooooooo, and welcome to Hazbin Hotel's Unhinged Kitchen! Where we will be going over the poor man, the bachelor, the college student way of cooking and baking for all your comfort foods!

Charlie: Dad, what are you doing?

Lucifer: Just teaching all the poor, forever alone Sinners how to cook and bake on a budget!

Vaggie: I think he's projecting, Babe....

Lucifer: *clears his throat* Have you ever wanted a nice, comforting, delicious, warm apple pie but don't have the money to pay for a whole one at the store? Well, today I'm going to show you all how to make cheap and easy apple crisp! All you're gonna need is some instant oats, butter, powdered cinnamon, vanilla extract, and a form of apples we will go over later. Oh! and light brown sugar if you wish!

First! Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit or 176 Celsius. *turns on oven.*

Next! You're gonna want to put a pot on the stove around medium heat, and then plop on in a whopping three sticks of butter!

Charlie: Three?!?! Dad!!! Are you sure that's right?!?!?!

Lucifer: Oh! Right! You may need that fourth stick of butter, so keep in on hand.

Charlie: *jaw drops*

Lucifer: Now, we're gonna melt these bad boys while sprinkling in cinnamon, light brown sugar, and vanilla extract. Not too much to start, mind you. Brown sugar should be maybe a spoon full. The rest is gonna be to taste after we get the oats in.

Charlie: *holding up five different types of spoons* WHICH SPOON?!?!?

Lucifer: Any of them. We adjust to taste later. ANYWAY!!! Stir all this together and add 18 ounces or one small container of quick oats! *pops open the lid of an oatmeal container and dumps everything into the pot before stirring everything together* Aaaaaaannnnd stir, baby, stir!!! We want these bad boys completely coated in the delicious butter mix! Soak up aaaaaaallllll that slick, buttery goodness! If you're still dry, don't worry! Add another stick and you'll be fine! Add more of your cinnamon or brown sugar or whatever until you like the taste.

Angel: HA!!! That's what she said!!!

Charlie: ......I'm worried about you, Dad.

Lucifer: Now that we have our evenly coated oats, we're going to make our apple mixture! But, apples are EXPENSIVE!!! And taking the time to cut and peel and core them is exhausting enough without having to fry or bake them in MORE butter and whatever.

Charlie: *burps uncomfortably* You mean... there could be MORE butter???

Niffty: YAY!!! BRING ON THE CHOLESTEROL!!!

Lucifer: So! We're going to take the easy way out! Apples may be expensive, but you know what isn't? APPLE PIE FILLING AND CANNED FRIED APPLES!!! *pulls out two cans of pie filling and two cans of fried apples before grabbing a can opener and popping open each can with a satisfying TSSSHHHHHHH!!!*

Alastor: *wendigo screeches in the distance* WHO IS DESACRATING THE HOLY SANCTITY THAT IS FRIED APPLES?!?!

Lucifer: SHUT IT, BELHOP!!! Anyway! Put the apple pie filling in the bottom of a 9x13 inch pan, or standard cake baking pan, then drain all the liquid out of the fried apples. *holds the tops of the cans closed as he drains the juice into the sink with a wet SCHLURP!!!*

Vaggie: ....Ew......

Lucifer: Might have to jiggle them a little bit to get all the juice out. *shakes the cans into the sink and a more rated-R sound fills the air*

Angel: Ha! No wonder why you call this the bachelor's baking! That sounds like-

Charlie: *covers her ears and groans* UuuUuUUUuuuuuUuUUuggghhh.....

Vaggie: *helps cover Charlie's ears* Lucifer, what the fuck?

Lucifer: Aaaaaaaannnnd!!! Dump into the pan! Now that we have the two types of apples in, we're going to take a page out of Carmilla Carmine's book and add a little love!

Charlie: Oh! Baking with love! That sounds nice!

Lucifer: *adds a little more cinnamon and vanilla to the mix before slapping his bare hand into the mix and swirling everything around with a slightly deranged look on his face*

Angel: .........Char.... I think your dad needs to get laid....

Vaggie: ......No amount of therapy will ever make this okay.....

Charlie: *dry heaving into the trash can*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! We are experiencing some technical difficulties. We apologize for the inconvenience. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!*

Lucifer: *standing with a freshly baked apple crisp on the counter and his hair in disarray* And THAT is how you make a poor man's apple crisp!

Hazbins: *shock and disgust*

[justaticklishdeer]

Unconventional Methods

lots of inspo from @hype-blue-fixation

this took forever to write, give feedback! (I personally don't think this turned out too well.)

Tw/CW: Restraints, Fluff, Teasing (a ton,) tickles, gets intense in spots.

word count: 1.5k

Vox and Alastor. Rivals, enemies, whatever you call them. They were busy fighting, as usual. Alastor had antagonized the TV Overlord yet again, and now they were in the lobby of the hotel – thank God everyone else was out for the day. Besides, the gang would hate to see the mess they had made… 

‘Fucking–hold still!’ Vox snarls, jumping forward at Alastor who easily steps to the side. 

‘Hmm, I’d prefer not to. I’m not getting taken down by some picture show–’ Alastor yelps as Vox grabs him. He struggled and hissed as the TV demon ties his arms above his head. 

‘You forget I know your weaknesses, Alastor.’

‘You know nothing about me. You barely know me! You’ve been obsessed with me since day one!’ Alastor snorts, glaring at him defiantly from his restrained position. 

‘Where shall we start? Perhaps..here?’ Vox places a blue tipped claw on Alastor's palm, tracing small circles. He had completely ignored the defiant jab. Alastor’s body jerks back and he whimpers out a giggly protest. 

‘There you go, pretty boy. Trust us. Or perhaps, myself. You know you can. You want to.’ 

Alastor whines again, squeezing his eyes shut as Vox continues. Vox smirks. ‘What's wrong, ticklish little fawn? Can’t handle my claws all over your palm? Perhaps I could move them. Have them slide up this pretty forearm, up near your underarm…then, sliding down your ribs while you whine at me. Then we could tease those sides of yours, oh, yes. Sliding my claws up and down your sides while you whine and try to curl into a sickeningly sweet ball of fluffy ticklishness. Then slide down to your tummy and tease there. I could go on for hours, Alastor. Hours. How does that sound?’ 

A helpless whine was all he got. ‘Aww, is someone a ticklish little fawn? Yes you are! Come on and tell me all about it,’ Vox hums, claws tracing slowly down his forearm. Slow. Teasing. Torturous. ‘Vohox. Vohohox, plehease..’ he whines, trying to flinch back from the tickles. His restraints held fast. Vox held him still. Alastor whimpered again, a giggly mess. ‘Shh, you can take more than that. I’ve done more than this. Come on. You can do it,’ Vox croons, reaching his other hand up to gently and teasingly stroking up and down the feathery-soft edges of Alastor’s ears. The deer whines loudly, trying to shake his head. ‘Ah, ah, ah. No. Stay. Oh, good boy! Look at you, taking the tickles so well.’

Alastor whines, trying to arch away from the soft dragging of Vox’s claws. He felt Vox get close to his underarm, and he gasps and arches. ‘Nuh uh, don’t shy away! It’s alright, just stay…oh, look at you. Such a helpless fawn, ensnared in my trap.’ Vox continued to trace lighty around the area, whiney giggles and breathy sighs joining the mix. ‘Vohox, plehease..move alohohong…’

‘I don’t think I will,’ Vox hums. The deer whines and flinches, body trembling. ‘Good job, Al, you’re doing amazing for me.’ 

Alastor nods, desperate as he squirms in his restraints. Vox was sitting on his legs to make it so escape was essentially impossible. ‘I–oho! Mm-!’ Alastor cuts himself off as Vox reaches his upper rib cage. ‘Oh, so here’s a bad spot, hm? Should we…count them?’ he teases, pressing slightly harder. Alastor frantically shakes his head. Quite the deer in the headlights. ‘Plehease–plehehase–Vohohox plehease—’ 

‘Ah, ah, shh…I’m not even nearly getting started. Calm yourself, little fawn.’ The TV demon slowly traces claws down Alastor’s ribs, eliciting a small squeak and twitch every time he hits a bad spot–the bad spot essentially everywhere. Alastor’s voice was shaky and giggly, no real words really making their way out of his mouth. He bleated like a fawn helplessly. Vox’s claws dragged slower, down his sides, resting on his stomach.

He uses one hand to push Alastor’s shirt up to expose his fuzzy stomach. He could hear Alastor whimper with anticipation. ‘Oh, my dear, I haven’t even started yet! You’re already squirmy and all vocal for me!’ ‘Sh-shut up!’ Alastor whines through a fit of happy giggles and whimpers. 

Vox gently scribbled around his belly, tracing a claw around his navel. Alastor’s breath hitched as he arched his back, trying to escape the torturous feeling. The television grins. ‘You’re lucky I’m not too..hungry right now, sweetie,’ Vox murmurs, continuing with the slow dragging. ‘Stahap th-that!’ Alastor snorts, trying to tug his hands out of the restraints. Vox hums softly, ignoring the plea. ‘Plehease Vox plehease plehease–’ 

‘Nuh uh, pretty boy, ticklish little fawn, adorable buck. You’d be safewording like hell if you hated it that much,’ Vox points out, tracing shapes on Alastor’s belly. He gently traces circles and little swirls all over the fur. The deer demon lurches and writhes, whining with the giddiest look on his face. He seemed to be on a whole different cloud of fluffy happiness. 

Vox smiled, continuing the slow, teasy tickles on the deer’s sensitive tummy. ‘Does that feel good? All nice and tickly for my favorite fawn?’ Alastor giggles happily, ‘m-mhm!~’

Vox moves his claws up to Alastor’s deerlike ears. Soft strokes, nothing too much. Yet, it still had the radio demon nearly crying with silent giggles and whines. Such a strong reaction. ‘Who’s a good tickle fawn?’ Vox croons. He could feel Alastor trembling. Good. Alastor could feel phantom tickles on his stomach still, making the whole thing worse. He squirms and whimpers, little breathy giggles coming out. “Just like that, good boy.”

Alastor bleats helplessly, grinning as wide as he could while arching his back. “Hmm, now the deer noises?” “Shuhut up..”

Vox moves back down to his tummy, cooing teases at him. A claw circles his belly button, and Alastor’s hooves kick as he whines. “Pretty baby, pretty tickle baby, c'mon..you can handle it,” Vox hums, continuing the awfully slow teasing movement. Alastor whines desperately.

“Words.”

“Whahat?”

“Use your words. You’re poetic.”

“It-ihit–Vohox plehease..” 

“Please what? Words.”

Alastor flushes and his ears pin as he shakes his head. “Yohou know.” “I know. I want to hear you say it,” Vox hums, claws still teasing at the spot. 

“Vohox–! Mmm! N-noho–!”

Vox’s scritching got more intense, making the deer squirm, his ears flicking as he tried to comprehend the feeling. “Fuck–fuhuhuck–Vohox i-ihit–ihit–!”

“It what, darling?” Vox chuckles.

Vox begins to trace claws on his neck, making the radio demon whine softly and smile. ‘You know, Al, you’re quite good at handling these. Or am I not doing enough?’

‘Vohox, it-it ihis plenty.’

Vox starts applying a steady tickle to the deer’s ribs. ‘Nohoho! Vohox, plehease–’

He blinks, looking Alastor right in the eyes as he continues. ‘You’d be safewording. You enjoy it, don’t you? You love how I make you feel all tickly. And happy.’ Alastor’s ears flick and flatten, and he turns his face away. Vox took the restrained position as an opportunity to tickle Alastor’s underarms–which got a desperate whine and shriek, then loud laughter. ‘Good boy!’ Vox praises, continuing to tickle him, aiming for a full on wrecking. Alastor shrieks and phrases, trying to comprehend what was happening. 

‘Vohohohox! Plehehehease–Nohohot thehehere! Ohoho shihihiht–!’ Alastor bleats in distress, his deerlike instincts coming out profoundly. His body thrashed and Vox held him still with a firm look. Alastor whined and bleated again, melting under the eye contact. He was holding back every urge to hide his face. To hide the flusteredness. To hide how much he loved this. 

‘Hold still.’ ‘I-I cahahahan’t!’

‘Yes, you can.’ 

Vox continues, and he could see Alastor’s eyes starting to glisten with tears of pure mirth. ‘Stahahap! Nohohohot the ehehehHAHAHARS!’ 

‘Yes, the ears. You know I couldn’t resist. They’re just so…fluffy, pure. Surely the radio host can handle it? Or perhaps…I could show this to all of hell? Let them know how much of a ticklish little fawn you are?’ Vox suggests, tracing claws down the feathery soft edges of his ears. He moves to Alastor’s tummy, scribbling all eight claws over the sensitive fur and skin beneath it. Alastor screams before his laughter fades to soft radio static and silence. 

‘REHEHED! ReHEhehed! SHhihiHit!’ Alastor practically screams the safeword, and Vox instantly stops. He reaches up to untie Alastor, chuckling as the radio host throws himself onto Vox with exhausted pants. He giggles occasionally in between breaths, and Vox gently rubs his shoulders to get rid of any of the phantom tickles. He offers the deer a glass of water which the former gladly accepts. 

‘You alright?’ Vox asks, amusement and fondness in his tone. Alastor nods, downing the water rather quickly. Vox notices and hums, ‘More?’ Another nod. He stands up and gently sits Alastor on the sofa. ‘Here. Stay, I’ll go grab more water.’ 

Alastor pants out, ‘Y-yohou’re evil…’

‘I’m an Overlord, darling. It’s my job. Now rest up. Can't have your hotel staff know about this, can we?’ Alastor’s cheeks redden and he shakes his head, mumbling, ‘They can’t know.’

‘Mhm. Now rest up, okay?’ Vox sighs softly, gazing down fondly at Alastor as he dozes off on him.

Perhaps…perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all.

[prince-liest]

I gotta ask about Lucifer Magne's Practical Guide to Good Manners

Ehehe, this is the oldest WIP of the bunch and I'm not 100% sure if I will ever actually finish it, BUT. Heads up, I don't get explicit here but it's a PWP WIP.

It's basically a radioapple PWP, and I ran into issues when I realized that while I liked the idea, I had no fucking clue how to write it in a way that would involve a level of consent given that Lucifer was comfortable with, especially given the premise.

But if I do figure it out, the particular thing I was interested in exploring in it was the idea that an angelic presence just makes people feel good, in a way that Lucifer maybe doesn't have 100% control over. He ends up accidentally projecting his own praise kink directly into Alastor's brain via sheer angelic benevolence, thinking he's being so nice and helpful by doing all the things he likes just so that Alastor can have a good time despite their animosity, and meanwhile Alastor is, like, eyes-crossing 'what the actual fuck is happening what the fuck' the whole time and can't really do jack because, y'know. Lucifer is the devil. From the bible. Who is currently forcing him to say 'please and thank you' just so he can call him a good boy for it.

It's just fun for me to think of Lucifer as usually a guy who prefers to play submissive in any D/s games until Alastor comes along and turns their every interaction into that much of a pissing contest - but he's still projecting a lot of his own feelings onto the situation and what he thinks Alastor must enjoy, while in reality they're on completely different pages as to what is enjoyable about submission.

(Luckily, I also write 'being forced into certain types of uncomfortable situations' as a big chunk of what Alastor gets out of it, so they both have a fucked up but still good time. Probably the only way to actually put the fear of the devil into Alastor, though, to be honest. Meanwhile Lucifer is whistling the next morning, thinking he got a good grade in Dom, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.)

[fandomworld9728]

Applebowl scenario idea! Ever watched the road to el dorado? Particular one of the characters named Chel? Well I was wondering about Lucifer’s harm reacting to him wearing Chel’s outfit? It’s basically Angel’s idea of “promoting” the hotel much to Charlie’s protest mainly because she likely knew the amount of sinners would be thirsting after her dad

I love that movie! And I love this idea also!

👆 This is the outfit in question. Honestly, this is something I could picture Lucifer dressing up just for the fun of it.

Since you didn't specify who all you wanted in the applebowl, I'll be sticking to our main three of Vox, Alastor, Adam. I'll throw in a bonus Angel Dust reaction snice it was his bright idea. 😘

Applebowl - Reacting to Lucifer in Chel's Outfit:

Staticapple/Radioapple/Adamsapple AU

Alastor:

Alator wasn't sure what he was looking at. What the hell was his king wearing? Who put him in such a ridiculous and provocative outfit and why?

"Oh, hey there smiles. You're just in time. Doesn't Lucifer look great?" 

"I take it that this was your doing? Why would you dress the King of Hell up in mere scraps?"

Alastor was dodging the question, and he knew it. But he was conflicted. Lucifer was practically naked. This outfit, if you could even call it that, only covered the most important areas. And it just barely did that!

While it gave the radio demon a fantastic view of the Fallen Angel's pale, smooth skin, it gave everyone else that same view! Satan forbid if anyone outside their strange little family saw this.

"Charlie put me in charge of the hotel's social media page. So, I thought puttin' our lovely little Luci here in an outfit from a popular movie among humans would make him seem more relatable. Plus, it makes for quite a sight, don't it?"

That knowing smile... Angel Dust knew what he was doing. Alastor was starting to feel cornered. When he felt cornered, he would bite.

"I will not allow you to sully his majesty's image like this."

"Too bad. The pictures have already been posted."

The lights in the hotel flickered before going out, leaving just an eerie green glow in their place from Alastor's power.

"What did you say?"

Vox:

When Velvette had told him to check out the hotel's Sinstagram account, that something interesting had been posted, Vox had not been expecting to see Lucifer in cosplay. Especially not in Chel cosplay. Who in the Seven Circles would put the king in that sort of outfit to show off to all of Hell?

Though, from a business standpoint it made sense. Sex sells, and Lucifer was the living embodiment of temptation. Angel Dust must have been the one to set this up. Clever boy.

Not only would this little stunt boost Lucifer's public image and gain more attention for the hotel, but would also mess with Alastor, Adam and himself.

They'd have to work together if they didn't want all of Hell drooling over the Fallen Angel. However, it would hurt anyone if the Overlord kept a few copies of these pictures for himself.

Maybe he could even convince Lucifer to wear the outfit in the bedroom sometime. Can't let something so pretty go to waste now, could they?

Adam:

What the fuck did he just walk in on? Coming back from running errands for the princess, Adam had a front row seat to the edge lord trying to beat the ever-loving shit out of the porn star.

"Angel, I told you this was a bad idea! Alastor put him down!" 

"Worth it!"

". . .What the fuck is going on?"

"Adam! You're back! Um... so... Angel here thought it would be a good idea to dress up my dad in a specific outfit. And now Alastor is really upset about it. Because it's all over Sinstagram."

All of this was over some pictures? What could Lucifer be wearing that could cause this much trouble? The first man swore that that guy was nothing but a trouble magnet. Turning his attention to the Fallen Angel, Adam's jaw hit the floor.

Lucifer was already a hot piece of ass but dammit if he wasn't drop dead gorgeous and working that outfit. He could understand Alastor's reaction now. All of Hell gets to see this? No fucking way. They needed to get those pictures taken down and any copies of them burnt. But first…

"Hey smiles. Adam is takin' Lucifer somewhere."

"What? Get back here!"

"Don't fucking rat me out to save your own skin!"

Angel Dust:

Okay. Did he get his ass beat? Yes. But it was worth it for all the reactions. Alastor's jealously and possessiveness was in full swing and was currently being taken out on Adam. He boosted Lucifer's self-confidence and the hotel's following. They should be getting some new guests soon.

Angel Dust knew he was a genius, but this was one of his best ideas. Maybe he could convince Charlie to sell the prints to raise money for the hotel or something. Honestly, he was mostly doing this for the drama. And to be a good friend.

Lucifer needed the pick me up and some good sex. Now he had both. Angel couldn't believe how self-conscious the King of Hell was. The most beautiful angel in Heaven? The living embodiment of temptation? Being fought over by three guys who are all totally in love with him? It was time he saw his worth and Angel was gonna be the one to make him see that.

Plus... as a bonus he got to have one of the hottest guys in the world as his personal dress up doll. If he didn't value his life, he'd offer up his services.

[thecouchshifter]

Hazbin Hotel NSFT HCs

Husker

He’s a service top and probably the biggest on checking boundaries and aftercare, like more than Charlie and Vaggie. His biggest priority is making sure whoever he’s with has a good and safe time. He’s got experience and he knows how to make anyone feel good. Also whenever someone calls him a manlet he will remind them that height doesn’t matter when you’ve got them on their knees anyway.

Charlie and Vaggie

Put them as a duo because who else are they boning? As a general note, they’re both switches and Charlie is the more experienced one of the two, though mostly with men. They’re generally pretty vanilla but have some light kinks and sometimes do some roleplay.

Vaggie loves a good strap, pulling Charlie’s hair, and biting when topping/domming and has a fucking insane praise kink when bottoming/subbing. Also likes the fact Charlie is taller than her in both (shadow of the colossus type shit or being absolutely towered over). Uses princess or doll to refer to Charlie while domming and generally uses ma’am or my queen while subbing.

Charlie is super soft and romantic when topping/domming and absolutely has to touch and kiss everywhere. When subbing/bottoming, she likes some soft under the bed restraints, maybe a blindfold every once in a while, and has a bit of a mommy kink. Either way she likes setting the scene with some candles and flower petals because she’s extra like that. Has a big praise kink too that goes both ways. Uses sweetheart and more recently little angel when domming to refer to Vaggie and when subbing pretty much exclusively uses mommy. Has one very pretty old school lingerie set that she will whip out when she really wants to impress Vaggie.

Nifty

There’s no polite way to say it, she’s a fucking freak. Doesn’t matter how you do it she’s gonna do some crazy shit to you or ask you to do some crazy shit to her. Crazy on masochism and sadism in particular. 90% of the bad boys she plays with get scared after the first time and she quickly loses interest after that. Such is the way of Nifty.

Sir Pentious

He prefers romance to sex but if it helps him bond with a partner he’ll do it. Sadly, nobody has actually stayed with him past the first date before. He’s a hopeless romantic but hopes one day he’ll find someone who loves him for him. If he did bone, he’d be really awkward about it and not really know what he was doing but inconceivably keep falling upward and in the end do a really good job. After the fact he’d need a solid 20 minutes to recover while just laying there in shock before thanking his partner profusely.

Cherri Bomb

She has fucked a lot of ways and is generally open to trying anything. Has a few utterly bizarre kinks and fetishes. Not even particularly disturbing just very oddly specific. Like fleshlight between the legs while a replica dildo of her partner’s dick fucks her and their real dick fucks the fleshlight type strange.

Angel Dust

I mean sure he’s down for pretty much anything but slow, romantic, vanilla sex is his fucking kryptonite. He doesn’t get it in the studio or god forbid with Val, so when he does he’s surprised for a minute before he gets completely lost in his partner’s eyes. Don’t get me wrong he loves kinky shit, especially bondage, but getting back to basics is such a treat for him. Very into body worship for a similar reason. Boy just wants to feel loved. Has a set of lingerie for every occasion

Alastor

“Ha! No.”

Vox likes to think of him as a massive sub tho.

Lucifer

He’s a switch that will absolutely commit to the bit if he’s doing any kind of roleplay or D/S stuff. This man is a grade A actor to the point where Lilith was worried on several occasions as to if he was possessed. He has had millennia to perfect his technique and you will find no soul in hell bar maybe Asmodeus who knows how to use all the tools at his disposal better than him. Has a bit of a ringmaster/circus fantasy and has referred to Lilith as his little acrobat multiple times. Lilith also gets a bit worried when Lucifer is horny because it usually means he hasn’t taken his depression meds. Calls Lilith goddess a lot too.

[cmyk-anaglyph-honeycomb]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 3 & 4 Opinions and Story logic (mostly)

(ignore any typos, it's 3 min til midnight and I have a con in the morning and was at one all day, i'm not reading through this)

(Episode 3: Scrambled Eggs)

It’s weird to me that Vaggie wants to get rid of the egg bois cuz like??? Are they not also sinners that need redemption? Don’t they need to be saved too? The problem was that they kept building weapons that Sir Pen told them to make. They just needed something else to do, like idk, act as staff for the hotel. They can build, so maybe they can fix the hotel up a bit more.

I get it was just so one of them could spy for Alastor, but like, just have one follow him randomly. That isn’t out of character considering the eggs don’t have one.

It doesn’t make sense to me that Vaggie is so broken up by not getting the hotel guess to bond with each other. I get that she feel like she’s failing Charlie, but like, Charlie has accomplished literally nothing up at this point.

Yeah, so far there’s only 4 episodes, and the most Charlies done in all of them is get the exterminations moved up to every six mouths and fuck over Angel majorly ( I'm soft-balling that right now).

Like she signs a random paper without reading it, which, like girl, you are the daughter of the devil, there is now way she doesn’t know about the importance of contracts. Not only that it absolute FUCKS OVER everyone in hell. And it’s just brushed off??? Like no?

The exterminations is a big deal to all sinners, no matter the rank. Even if no one else knows what she did, Charlie should be more effected by this. The contract thing should have happened mid season or at the end, with her becoming more frantic to prove that her idea work so she can save sinners. But instead its treated like an oopies and she does trust falls and bond activities as if that’s going to make anyone a better person. Them liking each other doesn’t redeem them of anything.

*episode 3…im talking about that…*

Its my favorite so far. I like Zestail, Carmillia, Velvette and that dino lady are my favorite characters. Genuinely surprised I haven’t heard more about Respectless because it is my favorite song. (But it did come out next of ep 4, so it make sense.)

I hope Carmillia’s daughters are adopted or where her kids in life cuz the idea that the sinners can have kids are stuck in hell like the imps is messed up.

I’m glad Velvette gets development in this episode. I was worried that she’d just be the woman (tm) character of the Vees and be pushed to the side, so I was happy to see her upfront so soon. She’s now my favorite of the three, sorry Vox. I also like that her hair style keeps changing, that’s a nice touch for the fashion oriented one of the Vees.

The hotel gang going to the bondage…idk what to call it..Club felt like a waste of time. It was there for a joke and that’s it. Then Vaggie takes them to a city war zone and throws Pen and Angel off the building while Husk sneaks away.

Admittedly Husk sneaking off was funny to me, but like why would Vaggie think this would make them trust each other. Angel has a mafia background and family. Best bet he’s had to get into a few fights with them, and if I’m remembering lore correctly, he hates most to all of his family but okay.

At this point I’m genuinely curious how this show is going to develop Charlie’s redemption plan, because everything we’ve shown them try has failed and been show to clearly leading to fail. I have a feeling that he show isn’t going to have an ending, its just going to end. Like, nothing regarding the redemption plot line had made a single step forward. There’s just one more of them not, that’s it.

The second song doesn’t feel earned from Vaggie’s side.

Conclusion: This one is the best so far. It being mostly away from the main cast is not a good sign but it’s only number 3.

(Episode 4: Masquerade)

*gestures to that hot fucking mess* I’m not touching most of it. If you’re reading this them you’ve probably seen better points than I can provide. So I’m just going working on the logic within the story.

Personally, I think the visuals are a little too much, and I can understand where it goes way to far for a lot of people. I’d like to note that while Helluva Boss has a working screen on every single episode this has jack shit which was a huge fuck up in my opinion. I don’t care what the shows rating is, adult content and sensitive content are two different things and need to be treated as such.

Any media that handles SA, SH or abuse needs a huge label like those FBI no pirating screens from back in the day. I am not joking.

*shit I toughed it moving back a bit*

Okay, so why did Charlie goes to Angel’s job KNOWING he was in the middle of working. Like she knows he makes porn. The episode starts with the hotel gang watching one and her being visible uncomfortable. Why would she go there? And not like, wait outside or something? (she was uncomfortable at the bondage place why wouldn’t that be any different here?)

Charlie not picking up how upset Angel was that she showed up to his job THE FIRST time is child levels of ignorance. Even without the seriousness of what was really happening, that was infuriating to watch. I get that she’s supposed to have rose tinted glasses but those things are opaque. By this point all of her ‘accomplishments’ have been fucking people over majorly. She is a hindrance to those around her and it is hard to watch.

*skirting around the trash fire a little bit more.*

( I’m not trying to make a joke about this but like, I don’t know how to express how fucking yikes this episode is. Like it’s such an uncomfortable topic and it’s fumbled so hard. And then for Viz to turn around and argue about it on twitter and shit, like come on.)

Husk and Angel arguing doesn’t make sense to me. Husk says doesn’t like Angel cuz he’s fake, ignoring that it’ coping, shouldn’t Husk’s reasoning that Angel makes him uncomfortable. He is clearly shown being bothered by Angel’s aggressive flirty and sex talk. Him being ‘fake’ comes out of nowhere. As does them fighting.

Three minutes in, Angel gets pissed at Husk dismissing his porno. Flirts with him when Husk reveals he knows about the other hotel gangs’ insecurities and secrets. Then gets pissy again when Husk does the same to him. If Angel is short with Husk this episode because of Val, then let that be that, but the back and forth is jarring.

Charlie being the one to go after Angel an comfort him would have been the one good thing she could have done in the show cuz to be honest she as done nothing but ruin things for everyone at this point.

The loser song happening IMMEDIATELY after Angel’s emotional moment is a gut punch. Like WTF. I could not imagine being on the production team, seeing this shit and not saying something. Like there’s not scene cut to Charlie writing those (pointless) letters, her talking to Vaggie about how she messed up, nothing.

Angel has his break down and Husk seconds later is singing about how shit sucks and he’s a loser. Without the context, that’s bad. With the context, it’s horrific.

Husk had/has a gambling addiction. Not to downplay that or invalidate anyone who has/is going through that but it is not the same as SA. Especially as Husk isn’t going through his problems right now while Angel had to go through it…what an hour before, two maybe. For a prolong period of time and has to go back to that.

Husk is talking about his problem in the past tense. Besides the Alastor thing, it’s behind him. Angel’s problem is in the present and future. And that’s not taking into account the guy at the bar who was going to drug him. Who Angel was going to let drug him.

I could not imagine being on the production team, seeing the script for this and not immediately being like, no. This show is making miss Helluva Boss I am not joking.

Positives: The song Poison is good. Just listen to the audio and nothing else and its great. Val’s coat being moth wings was neat to see (especially if you ignore everything that happiness before and after that one still shot). I like Valentino’s design. I’ve no people have a problem with his voice, but personally I don’t mind it.

Conclusion: I have mixed feeling on the aftermath of the episode. Acting like the problem is solved and not addressing it won’t treat the SA plot-line with the seriousness it deserves. On the other hand, I do not want to the show to touch anything like this again. If it just leaves it here, then at least its only the one episode instead of more.

Ignoring Viz’s response to criticism over this, the executives and people with money have likely seen this shit blow up, and if anything, might not be willing to let the show go near something like this again. Which, in my opinion, is the best option. I do not trust this show to do it well, so it might as well not do it at all.

I am going to keep watching, cuz, like Helluva Boss, I want to see how this turns out. I don’t have hope for the show, but I am curious.

Overall, I hope ep 4 will be a good example of what not to do for any media hoping to cover SA in one way or another.

If anyone want to talk with me about the show send me a message and tumblr mobile and social anxiety willing, I'll be able to get back to you.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Hi! I've got an au to share with you! I love your writing and the ideas you have for all of these different aus, i feel like im being fed a three course meal 🤤. Bonus points if you want to write a little one-shot based on this, feel free not to, tho! I see you're pretty busy with other aus, so I'd be perfectly happy just hearing your imput- but if this tickles you, feel free to write something for it 😝 (no pressure, of course)

My au is a fluffy whore!Adam au!

Just tit fluff, Angel Dust style, bonus points if he's pink and feminine.

Maybe he works for Valentino, because Adam was so desperate after falling and to save whatever dignity he had left, he didn't go to the hotel or ask Lucifer for help.

Of cause Angel is super pissed because some new hire is nearly becoming as popular as him? Like the fuck? This rando JUST signed a contract!

He's super shocked when he finds out it's Adam (I dont think Val or the rest of Hell would know), he's even more shocked when he's acting like a total whore (I guess this is on parr with the succubus au- don't sue me pls).

Angel complains to Husk, Husk either gossips to Alastor or Alastor over hears (more like easedrops because he's a bitch like that). So Alastor uses this information to maybe torment Lucifer a little.

Alastor: a little pussy cat told me that a certain first man is making quite the name for himself in the entertainment scene- he's well on his way to becoming Hells number most sort after porn star (insert old timey word for porn star lol)

Lucifer: Adam? He's dead asshole. I'm the king of Hell, I'd be able to tell if he was still alive-

Alastor: ah, so not only are you a useless father, but you're also a poor excuse for a king! I've seen him myself- feel free to book a session, he's expensive~ (I like to think Alastor booked a session with Adam, it could be for sexual, torture or humiliation purposes or all of the above)

Alsator shadows away before Lucifer can reply or attack him.

Lucifer manages to book an appointment threw Valentino, who by the way, was not a pleasure to work with. And boy, Adam was not cheap. Because of Adam's contract he's not allowed to speak about anything that isn't fucking, flirting or dirty talk while on the job, so while Lucifer is trying to get any information out of Adam while shoving him to the ground (I like the idea that Lucifer would be violent with Adam if he saw him again, just for the angst of cause).

Adam can't say anything of use, just choking out "harder Daddy", and other words that makes Lucifer think he's a carbon copy of Angel Dust.

Lucifer can't decide if he's concerned about Adam or finds it funny. Maybe at first he had a good laugh at Adams expense, but when he didn't snap back or insult him, Lucifer was kind of taken aback.

After throwing Adam around for a bit, trying to get him to talk to him like he use to, but all he's saying is cringey one liners, he has no idea what to do. He's not even making it obvious that he knows Lucifer, just calling him "you're highness" and coming up with sexual scenarios about what a king could do to a little sinner like him.

That's all I've got, but I'm kinda keen for it. I think I've strayed away from the Succubus au, this one is just more horny and angst filled. Also Adam being on the short end of the stick when dealing with Valentino? What better way to piss Lucifer off.

Anyway- let me know what you think 😫🙏

Ooooh I love this so much, let Adam be a little whore. And no of course he wouldn't be cheap lol

Thank you!! There is so much I want to write.

Maybe one day. I really love this idea.

[azlan-snow]

Humble Beginnings(Radiobelle)

Chapter 13: A Trip To Rosie

(Told from Al’s POV)

As I arise from more than my average amount of sleep,I find Charlotte missing from her own bed. “Charlie?” I begin to frantically look for her before her door opens, revealing her hiding place.

“Good Morning, Al! I made you breakfast!” She walks over with a tray filled with food for the both of us.

“You made me worried!”

“About what? You think I'm just going to just leave you here, in my room, by yourself?”

“I-.” He paused, contemplating his next words. “Fair point.”

“Exactly. You gonna eat?”

“Of course.” She hands me the tray before sitting next to me. I told her my plan for the day, and she relayed to me hers while we ate before we got dressed and departed. As I walk to Cannibal Town I thought about what I wanted to talk to Rosie about. “Such a sensitive topic.”

As I enter, I notice a familiar figure. “Terrific.” It’s Susan, an ornery old bitch who never minds her own business.

“Alastor!” 

“Susan! How can I help such a lady this fine morning?”

“You headin’ over to Rosie’s?”

“Indeed! And I do wish not to be late. Farewell, Susan!” I begin to teleport past her before feeling a sharp pain on my back.

“I ain’t done with you yet, ya fuckin’ moron!”

“Y-You burned me? With a torch?”

“Fuck yeah I did! I told ya I wasn’t done with you yet!”

“We’ll have to pick this up another time.” I return to my shadow and teleport as fast as I can to Rosie’s Emporium. I knock on the door and am greeted by the smiling demon. “Alastor,” she asks, her voice prominent with her accent.  

“Rosie, my dear. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“What happened to ya’?” 

“Susan.” 

“Susan…burned ya?”

“And my favorite suit.”

“Let me take care of ya.” She ushers me to a chair before sitting me down and undressing me. she pulls out a repairment kit and begins to work on me and my clothes as we talk.

“You came to see me about Charlie?”

“Yes. It would seem she is what my dead heart desires.”

“Romantically?”

“Fortunately, yes.”

“Oh My Goodness! Finally!”

“What do you mean, finally?

“You two had it on last time you were here together. When you came seeking my cannibals.”

“She had a girlfriend then, Rosie. The ex-exterminator?”

“I’m aware. But your pupils dilate for no one. But now, they won’t go back to their stone cold look! I’m proud of ya’, dear boy.”

“Why?”

“Cause I was rootin’ for ya’! It’s not everyday my ace in tha’ hole finds him a gal!”

“A what now?”

“Nevermind. It’s not my first time explaining it to you.” A moment of silence passes before Rosie speaks again from her sewing machine, repairing my clothes.

“Have you done anything with her yet?” “Excuse me?”

“Ya heard me. Have ya’ made yer’ move yet?”

“All I have done is sleep with her and proclaim my love to her. Is that not enough?”

“Ya slept her?”

“She wouldn’t release me. And she calls me clingy. And no, not in the disgusting way you’re thinking of. She doesn’t desire any of that and neither do I.”

“Understandable. Have ya’ taken her out on a date yet?”

“That’s what I came to see you about. What exactly is a ‘date’?”

“Well, a date is when you take your lover and do somethin’ fun!”

“Like something she likes?”

“Yes. Now, I have another appointment, so I need you to leave.” She hands me a small bag for Charlotte before shoving me out of the shop. 

I head out of Cannibal Town and to the outskirts of a different palace.

“Alastor, is that thine?”

“Zestial, my old friend! How are you?”

"I am fine, my friend. Thou seemed to be walking apace. Does thou have time to forbear a moment for tea?”

“Of course, my friend. I always have time for tea.” 

Zestial teleports us to his massive estate, or castle if you will, and we chatted about Overlord business over a spot of tea. But something felt off. I look down at my shadow who seems to have the same reaction. “Go find Charlotte.”  He sets off and finds her before reporting back what he saw. “WHAT!” I rush out of my seat and teleport to Charlotte’s current location, where she lies, barely breathing, unconscious, and near dead, in the outskirts of Cannibal Town. I pick her up, grief pouring from me, and teleport her to the hotel, where Angel greets me with a distraught face.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Boss, you okay?”

“Did you do this, you motherfucker?”

“GET OUT!!” I shift quickly, distorting my voice, appearance, and the space around me kicking everyone out of the hotel before returning to my normal state. I remove Charlie’s clothes, seeing the full extent of her wounds. All over her were stab wounds, slashing marks, bullet holes, and burns decorating her body. As I tend to her wounds, I cry, letting out all my pent up sadness. 

When I came back from getting a bowl of fresh water for me to use to clean her body, when I see her, eyes filled with tears and pain, awake and trying to move. “Don’t move, mon cher. Your body isn’t prepared for that,” I say, laying a gentle ungloved hand on her scarred torso.

“Al-Alastor?”

“Hello, beloved. You are going to be alright, I promise. I found you, but I am not understanding in the slightest  you were by Cannibal Town.”

“I-” Charlie collapse, right in front of me, not knowing when she would return.

[seas-storyarchive]

more cards and bullets hcs

tw: abuse

alastor openly talks about his mother, mainly to charlie - he laments about how much he misses her and how he wishes he could see her or at least hear her voice outside of his memories

[[MORE]]

that man makes killer milkshakes, like if you don't want booze just ask him for a milkshake and he'll get you one "in two shakes of a deer's tail, darling/sir"

more head tilts here than in the show, cause yes give us more deer behavior from this bastard

husk is a less than kind master - when he gets really mad, and booze won't help, he uses alastor as a scratching post; everyone tries to get him to stop, with angel being the most successful (by that, it's just barely)

alastor ignores it, just glad husker doesn't want more from him

niffty likes to hang out with alastor, the two having a more sibling-esque relationship (her still dubbing him as "king roach", making the two laugh)

husker and angel being a couple, surprises no one

vaggie having her wings back is a fun thing to deal with

lucifer is trying to be a good dad and such, make up for lost time, but it's an uphill battle

rosie will come to the hotel whenever she's free, to chat with alastor and charlie - finding the way husker treats al to be deplorable but knows she can't do more than try to bring a smile to his face

fucking mimzy is a plague on al. like, he wishes she'd calm the fuck down about his mortal life and how much he drank back then - now it's mostly tea as he tries to find some way to stay in control of himself - although her reappearance makes him pound rye shots like the sailors she claimed he'd kept up with

angel keeps guns hidden everywhere, should the need to protect the hotel arise

cherri crashes at the hotel from time to time, but doesn't stay until the season 1 finale

sir pentious asked alastor what to do to woo cherri, as they had that 1900s mindset (so he thinks), and all al did was tilt his head and stare at pentious like he had five heads until the snake went to Angel got advice

the egg bois love al. to that note, so do kiki, nuggets, razzle and dazzle. al's ears flap in embarrassment at the attention, as he tells them "oh stop.. but do go on, because I've missed aclaim and accolades."

husker, after some prodding from charlie and vaggie as well as begging from angel because the two wouldn't shut up about it, allows al to once again run his radio show for the first time in.. 10ish years, husk forgets how long he's owned the deer

vox is a pissy bitch about it, as usual.

al runs advertisements for the hotel every hour on hour, as well as husker's casino, as they are technically his sponsors (daily). his radio show consists of plays he's written for radio and jokes and call-in segments (he has a rotary phone, fuck off vox), reading of fan letters (the safe for air, in a pg-13/1930s way) and even letting the others come on the air to help advertise the hotel (mainly charlie) - all at various points in the weeks, not all at once mind you (man from the 30s can only do so much while on the air)

the radio show becomes popular with the set of less than television inclined folk, with call-ins and others wanting to be on but no one really wanting to join the hotel

al suggests he advertise that they are offering tours of the hotel, maybe if people see the place they'll want to be redeemed, but after his crappy first commercial (bro is from the '30s, okay? he was trying to help in a way he knew how) husker sent him to the bar to make everyone drinks to forget he opened his stupid mouth about it