#no I am not taking critism

[variksel]

in honor of european tour dates being announced darryl wilson is so fucking finnishcoded

[hopefull-mindset]

I’m incredibly exhausted from writing 8k+ words about abuse in BSD and still not done with it. I just would like BSD tumblr to know the absolute monster this is going to look like, which I’m probably going to post tomorrow. I’m going to finish today but tomorrow I can go over and re-edit some stuff without falling on my ass writing Kyouka’s section

The structure so far, in order is:

What is Abuse

Portrait of a father

The Port Mafia’s Environment

The Heartless Cur

RE: Portrait of a father (<- this is Beast Atsushi’s section)

The Man Who Raised Dazai

A Mother’s Love

I started writing this because I was getting frustrated with the restrictive discussion about the topic of abuse in this community, and the way the “Abuse Cycle” is discussed is quite shallow. The concept in general is very flawed to me, even if I understand the idea behind it.

The progression between Mori -> Dazai -> Akutagawa -> Kyouka has so little similarity besides two things in common.

First one is their talent for cruelty lurking inside them, and second seeing themselves in each other and having them join the mafia because of it. On this stance the abuse cycle is not the wrong term, you guys just have no idea what you’re taking about when it is discussed.

The “abuse cycle” is what keeps you in that negative state and not feeling like you have anywhere else to go except this awful environment that doesn’t keep you safe. That’s what makes it the abuse cycle and we should feel proud Kyouka left, but you guys talk about it as if it’s the actions towards the next victim that makes it the abuse cycle when I’ve just said none of their actions has barely (if any) similarities. Higuchi is part of the abuse cycle, Q and Kouyou is too. The mafia is the embodiment of this cycle.

You guys are also grossly overestimating how much Mori actually did to Dazai. As I said, action is not what makes it the abuse cycle. It’s not the same thing as Yosano in this area at all. Dazai’s mental state was definitely harmed by continuing to be in the Mafia, he was still just a child, and what Mori did was not right in the slightest, but none of what Dazai is like is actually Mori’s fault. It’s a tough answer and I will go over it in my post. if you think Dazai was abused under the qualifications that he was a child who was in an abusive, violent environment, the you also have to think about Chuuya and Beast Atsushi.

My answer to that is no, they were not abused by the Port Mafia and their childhood’s were already stripped away and we don’t have enough information to say they were abused there, but they were already abuse victims that were already conditioned enough for the mafia not having to do anything. The mentoring situations in the mafia don’t see abuse as abuse, just another way of teaching their subordinates.

Akutagawa would be the same… if I wasn’t for the fact Dazai’s actions were targeted to forcefully beat an intention into him that wasn’t already a product of the slums. It needs to be targeted at something in you to be abuse. Not to say you guys aren’t also overestimating how much of Dazai’s abuse made him who he was, a lot of it was just the slums, but I digress. I don’t need to explain everything I’ve already wrote down.

The only people I can confidently say were abuse victims of the port mafia are Kouyou, Kyouka, and Q. That’s quite literally it. We don’t know what happened to Dazai, Chuuya had N and his time as a sheep member, Atsushi had the Director, and Akutagawa had Dazai (does not count as the port mafia itself). Those three are the only ones I can trace back to the Port Mafia as their tormentor.

Why am I not saying Akutagawa is her abuser? Well we have nothing to confirm that, she was not trained by Akutagawa (that was Verlaine), and we have no specifics on their relationship besides him being the own to bring her into the port mafia because he was sent to. Sure he was the one behind the phone in that one mission, but he’s not the only who has access to it, Kouyou did too. If you really want to put into context her abuse at the hands of the port mafia, think of her as nothing more than a tool for them to pass around. There was nothing more to their relationship than what I’ve already said, I’ve checked numerous times in the manga.

As shown in Beast, she doesn’t need Akutagawa there for her to run away and she doesn’t need him there to be broken by the mafia. Anyway, that’s all I have to say rn. I’ll hold off other thoughts until that ultimate post, just know I’m not happy with most of you. Especially those who criticize the way Asagiri writes abuse, I think you guys are just unnerved by how actually realistic it is.

Thank you for the attention my Mori post got, I thought I’d get yelled at for it considering most of you can’t fathom he’s a character with thought behind him. Gods you act the same way with the director as well. I wouldn’t have normally done this, but I needed a break from the main post. I’m fearing it’s going to become a 10k word essay. I do say more there, don’t worry if I glossed over anything here.

[loifa-keeper]

Behold! My super accurate, incredibly precise, absolutely not biased in the slightest, Loifa anatomy infographic! I hope it allows you to better understand the appeal of the bestest boy, Loifa.

I posted this on twitter the other day and it really exploded, so I thought I'd share it here with you guys as well.

[the-party-city]

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH :3

this is literally so late i apologize ive been in a major art block moment!! this is one of my new ocs shes so cute and pretty and i love her, her name is jovi :3 i hope to start drawing her more

[triglycercule]

everytime i see a reblog with tags on a post that's not silly and stupid i'm always like oh shit what did i get wrong. what did i interpret completely wrong this time. if i open the reblog will i be scolded for a wrong interpretation WHAT DID I GET WRONG THAT'S NOT CANON i'm sorry i'll never do it again 😞😞😞😞😞 and then i stop posting for like a few days and then get upset and then more drafts pile up

[gaybo-over-yonder]

PLOT IDEA TWS! SEWER SLIDAL CHARACTER, TRAUMA, YELLING AT A CHILD, CORRUPTION IN SOCIETY, S3XUALIZATION OF A MINOR BY BAD PEOPLE, HATERS, AND BADLY WRITTEN, OVERUSED, PLOT.

hear me out: mary sue or gary stew who’s powers had only been prophesied and unlocked in their late-teens, but they had gone through some crap for all that other time and now has trauma. also they’re undiagnosed audhd and depression and anxiety. they continuously have panic attacks whenever a monster attacks because they have this internalized belief that they are going to die young.

also, they have a hard time even wanting to live because of their depression, so theyre stuck in this infinite loop of “i dont enjoy this life” monster attacks “i dont want to die and i cant die because of how many people depend on me”, and they suffer because of it.

theyre getting burnt out, yet, whenever they share their struggles, everyone tells them how blessed they are to have such great powers and how helping people should be enough to make them want to live. so, now theyre being guilt tripped. they dont have a secret identity. everyone knows who they are.

they flee to online to try and get help, people try to help them, but one of the main motivations for many other people online staying alive is them, the mc, this overpowered hero.

it gets so bad that they start to turn to their haters, because at least their haters arent guilt tripping them. but this has a terrible effect on them. their haters are actively being terrible to them, without even realizing that the person the haters are talking to is literally who theyre hating on. at one point, a hater shares a link. keep in mind, this main character is still in their late teens and not yet a legal adult. this hater’s link leads to a whole website that s3xualizes the main character and they see art of the main character with gore and whatnot.

they feel sick, this finally seems to make them realize that they need to stop looking at this stuff and interacting with these people. the main character decides to just force themself to go outside, just wanting to find a way to be happy and hoping that maybe theres something that can help.

very quickly after going outside, however, we have a villain. there are other heroes that exist, and the mc is just not ready yet to face this villain, so they start to turn to walk away. yet, a young fan spots them and calls out “hey, its the big hero, here to save us!”. now they have to fight. they fight the villain while also fighting off a large panic attack. luckily, this villain runs away at the last second.

the young fan runs up to them, tugging at their sleeve, thanking them for fighting the villain. the mc stares down at the kid. suddenly, they simply cannot take it. they start off feeling nothing when they speak, but hateful emotions start to build up.

“th… thank you? youre thanking me. do you even know what youre thanking me for? for what, saving your life?! what about my life?! are you thanking me for risking my stupid life to save yours? and what about me?? why doesnt anyone care about me? you all just care about living another day. and then you rely on me to want to live another day. what. about. me? who do i have to rely on? because it certainly isnt you! none of you!”

(they turn to the crowd)

“you claim to be my fans, you claim to support me, but that just bullshit! when have any of you actually cared about me or even tried to save my life. especially you-“

(they turn back to the child, but they arent really talking about the child, moreso everyone who forces them into these fights, but in their anger, they have no way to differentiate between the two)

“-you think you can just force me into these fights. you think youre just entitled to living. you. arent. you deserve nothing. you deserve nothing but the fights you force me into. you deserve to feel the shittiness i feel every day. you dont deserve to even want to live. you are a pathetic excuse for a human being. you… you are…”

at this point they realize they are just saying things they think about themself. they take another actually look at the kid, looking past the rage and hurt that blinded them, and see the kid again. the kid is quivering with fear. crying. they look back up at the crowd. none of them know what to do. this main character is the most powerful. what are they supposed to do against that?

the main character doesnt know what to do. they know that the second they stop being mad, theyre just going to break down and cry.

so…

they run.

the main character runs away. they dont run back home -they cant. they cant deal with this yet. they run into a forest. they hide. once hidden, the slump down against a tree or wall or something. the hurt finally hits them, now with the added guilt.

they cry. they cry that kind of cry where youre gasping for breath. the pull their knees against their chest, pull their elbows on their knees, close their eyes, and cry. after a while, they just curl up into a ball. they fall asleep.

waking up a while later, they check their phone. the news is reporting on what had happened. people online are starting to wonder if its a good idea to have just one very powerful person, that, if they were to turn bad, could possibly destroy everything and everyone. and yet… nobody seems to think about the main characters feelings. they feel all of their bad thoughts coming back and feel as if the thoughts are now correct.

they are a bad person.

they contact a news station, wanting to clear up stuff. the news station immediately agrees, wanting to be the first to report on the situation. the news station sends a car for the mc, the mc character says where they can be picked up, and while they wait, they cant help but cry again. they are picked up, and they arrive at the news station. they see the other most powerful heroes there, clearly posing as security.

the main character realizes that people see them as a danger. the main reporter tries to tell the main character, “oh, its just to protect everyone, you know, youre a big figure…” but the main character knows. “no. its because people now fear me. i… get it. its fine.”

the main character is sent to a station to get ready, but they shoo away those trying to put makeup on them. there is an uncomfortable energy all around. those that work there and are more than 10 feet away from the main character whisper to eachother. the main character takes a gulp, trying to push down the hurt and feign off more tears from gathering in their eyes. they get dress in better clothes and head on to the news set.

they sit down. there is a pause, someone signals for it to start, and the reporter speaks. “here, right now, we have (mc), giving us the first interview since ‘the (word relating to what happened) incident’-” the main character winces as they realize its already been labeled as that “- where (mc) had an outburst-“ the main character cuts them off.

“i think everyone knows what happened, by now. they dont… need the recap.” truly, the main character doesnt think they can handle having to listen to a recounting of what happened. they look to the side, once again fighting off tears. they take a breath.

theres a pause before the reporter speaks again, as they seem to pick up on the main characters feelings.

(reporter) “so… people have been wondering a lot since that incident.”

(main character) “im sorry to be using your station like this, but im not actually here to answer your questions.” the reporter is taken aback, the mc shoots them a shrug with this kind of face :| 😐.

(mc) “im here to say… im done. im done with everyone around me. i know that what i did was wrong. im not going to deny that. but, cmon, all of you seem to think you just get to act like youre not the problem! well, youre not the main problem, i suppose… as i said, what i did was wrong. but that doesnt make what any of you guys do right.

“i have so many times now tried to talk about how hard it is sometimes for me. i dont get even an ounce of sympathy because im the hero. i want to be a hero. ive never not wanted to help people. but it is so god damn hard sometimes. every day i fear im going to die. and then i get back home and wish i had.

“i check my phone and see everyone so happy that i saved people, and yet, i cant feel happy myself. but i cant take a break. i dont get to stop. because not only do i always need to save people, i dont want to stop. its such a constant guilt trip from all sides. why dont i get to stop? why am i always fighting? this should be what i wanted, but it isnt. because none of you actually care about your heroes.

“none of you have even once stopped to think about how seeing people die can effect someone. i have seen so many people die. and im done pretending. i cant handle any of this. i cant handle any of you. you arent just guaranteed a hero and you dont just get to be sad when they do something bad because you forced them over the edge.

“what i did may have been inexcusable, but what the hell is your excuse? i cant even keep up friendships because of how constantly i have to be a hero. i dont have time for my own things. thats not even to mention the fact that so many people dont want heroes to be paid. how am i supposed to live if i am not being paid? i cant get a job outside of being a hero.

“if you think that pay is what will turn heroes corrupt, then youre dead wrong. this whole hero society is always going to be doomed. there will always be corruption. if youre so worried about corruption, then maybe you shouldn’t have made it so hard to want to be a hero in the first place.

“none of you care to help anymore. you expect everything to be fine because of heroes. things dont always turn out fine, and if there are casualties, you blame the heroes for not doing a good enough job. anything bad is the heroes fault, and anything good is just whats expected. oh, and guess what? ive never liked being noticed and called out in public. i do not like having so many people physically close to me. yet whenever i try to say that, im unappreciative and a bad hero and role model. im not. im a human being.

“if you want a hero… then youre going to have to put the fucking work in to make someone want to be a hero. until then, until you listen to heroes problems and requests and treat them like actual fucking human beings instead of gods, im not going to be your hero. unless im on the job, im not your hero anyways. i will only be stopping huge crimes that cause the threat of mass destruction, because i still do care. i think im done here- wait! also, im sorry to that kid, i didnt mean what i said, i was projecting onto you. you do deserve to live. im sorry for any trauma i caused you.”

the main character walks out. they research who the kid was and donate to the family, as well as making donations to many causes for mental health and whatnot. for the next few days, they travel around the world and take a vacation, having cashed in a favor from another hero to stay under the radar and ensure they arent recognized by people.

theyre trying to enjoy it. its hard because they still simply cant deal with the loud noises, the crowds of people, or the depression that plagues their thoughts, but theyre trying. its a start. they try not to check their social media while on vacation. finally, they return to where they were before. they check there social media and see that peoples minds are in-fact starting to change. well, slowly, but change is change.

they walk around the outside, no longer disguised, and people dont know how to act. finally, someone comes up to them. the main character looks at this person expectantly. then the person, instead of talking to the main character about hero stuff, they simply compliment the mc’s shirt. the mc smiles and lets out a soft sigh, thanking the person in response. the person then walks away.

theres a time skip, and a villain has appeared. the main character is having a meal with some people they now consider to be actual friends. the mc gets an alert on their phone that theres a villain, and they tell their friends that they want to go help out real quick. the friends say its all good, and the mc heads off. after a while, the come back, and as there is no longer a paparazzi that bothers the mc after fights, they are simply able to get back to the meal with their friends.

people are actually listening to the mc and their wishes, and there are other heroes being treated the way they want to be treated. theres more concern starting to gather about heroes mental health, and heroes arent bound to fighting a villain or monster if they happen to be there at the same time. those who truly care about helping others do, and those who are in it for fame do the same, but flashier.

theres corruption, sure, and bad heroes, but heroes are given more slack. of course, there is a legal and ethical dilemma in the government about how much to hold heroes accountable for and how to pay heroes, but with more regular citizens helping out with searching and rescuing when instructed to by heroes, there has been less death. and with people realizing that heroes are genuinely there to protect them and that staying to watch heroes put them in actual harms way, there are less needless causalities due to negligence.

oh, and also, heroes of any protected more from unwanted s3xualization or romanticism, and the excuse of “youre in the public eye, of course thats going to happen” is starting to not be acceptable.

[eyeballpigeon]

I'm not normally one to like cover but oh my god is Jonny Cash's version of Personal Jesus so good

[nora--valkyrie]

I'm screaming at this they came with the bullet points lmao

hello all 3 followers I still haven't watched volume 9 but here's some thoughts I had on recent rwby tweets lmao

anyways it's silly but I'm anti-ren twerking and imo if you're gonna make a silly lil jokey joke could you pretend to make it seem even somewhat canon to your characters personalities?

[mayhem-moth]

Here's the needle felt I made for mothers day!!

Constructive critism appreciated I am still learning!

Also i am not good at taking pictures T^T

Progress pics under cut:

[herejusttosufferalong]

Hi. Love your blog, but a bit of critism here.

You are a bit similar, you and Mpov, just opposite side of the spectrum.

She really does not like L, and getting worse hiding it. This J M related stating the girls will be on s4 is really low of her tbh. I stopped following her, she is really negative and strongly biased.

But you tend to look away and disregard signs of his character being shady. Not just stupid ass but nice boy, no. Shady and egoistic.

Like the fact he takes pictures of A's b a@@ and R posts it, then deletes. GQ pic w 3 of 🤡 demonsrating L is taking it, with 🦀 looking back. Or her last summer pics from SH where she wears a tiny tiny bikini, he liked and most probably took.

The colours of their outfits at pap walk. It's the colours of Polin in s3, you have to be blind not to see. I am not sure he orchestrated, but 🦀 blue dress is very sus, and his light yellow is s3 Pen colour for sure. It possible though he was set up, idk.

I don't know the drivers behind, but these are really suspicious. I agree with everyone saying he must have been a sweetheart during Bton shootings bc everybody loves and praises him. The two personas are so opposite it's almost psychotic, so something is not addig up. Maybe he got hurt by N and these are him is being petty and getting back or sending messages to her? I do not remember clearly when, but I can recall him saying in an interview that if he (or Colin?) is ever wearing yellow, it's a message to Pen?

I am sure N loves him, but could have rejected him for a good number of reasons (not wanting to be a rebound, seeing him flirting with too many women, idk)

I would appreciate if you would address these. Would be more balanced from your part.

But it's your blog, your decision.

I’m sorry but tf am I supposed to be criticizing exactly???

Him taking pics of her?

Okay but why? Just because ppl don’t like the kind of pics he’s taking?

For what we know now, they are dating and yes we can nitpick the validity of their relationship but they are together to some degree.

Idk about y’all but my man takes those kinds of pics of me as well.

Now if the accusation is that he is taking them as a part of some kind of game with the fans, well here’s me addressing that?

I don’t care. Let him pick on the crazy fans who are acting a fool in his comments section.

I’m telling ya right now, he’s a lot better than I am because I would have to the fandom to go fuck themselves back in 2022 and never interacted with them again.

So the other issue is what?

That they wore blue and yellow to the after party?

I have addressed this multiple times. I can’t help people get over it.

[verboselocket38]

I need to make something clear or else the fans might attack me and send me threats, I like this show and was kinda scared to post this but I gotta say it........

.......Anyways, Im just rant about some excuses for Helluva Boss that are just not good excuses when fans defend the wrighting.

1. "If you dont like it dont watch it 🙄"

So this excuse I hear a lot when fans are backed into a corner and cant protect the critisisms from the show (Sorry I am tired, so my spelling might not be that good) And even if people deny it they use this excuse anyways without giving a good argument to why whatever critism the show gets is wrong.

Also I told this to someone before, but by the logic of this excuse, that means anyone who watches and said they openly hate a show like Velma or High Gaurdian Spice secretly likes it.

(I am gonna bring these shows up a lot to use them as examples. Should probably mention now that I dont like either Velma or HGS, but Helluva Boss has SOME THINGS in common, not ALL THINGS, but SOME)

2. "The Series isnt finished, you should wait for it to be done"

Now to an extent this one is ok. Like for example: If Aang from ATLA were going on a journey to learn how to Waterbend, Earthbend, and Firebend to defeat the Firelord, then obviously its gonna take awhile and shouldnt be like "wHy DoEsNt He BeAt HiM NOW!!!". BUT that does not mean you cant critisize the episodes where Aang might get out of character, Katara does something that will leave a bad taste in your mouth, or anything that might not be good writing.

Yes Helluva Boss isnt finished, but thats still a bad excuse for defending the writing. You should still put effort into the writing. Like the fight between Blitzø and Stolas was resolved in A TEXT MESSAGE AND PEOPLE SAY ITS GOOD WRITING. IT ISNT!!! Like if your most emotion point in your show is going to be resolved in something we dont see happen, then there is no growth to the characters. (Saying this is an easter egg is just another excuse for bad writing.) People say that later on it might get resolved and that we should be patient I call bull crap. In S2E2 Stolas and Blitzø are not even akward around eachother, so I highly doubt future episodes will talk about this.

Also, I just thought, shouldnt shows like Velma also go for its excuse? Like its getting a Season 2, so we shouldnt judge the show until its finished right? I dont wanna hear "Its because Velma ruined Scooby Doo!" Or "Velma is an acception since it can make my eyes role" Nope!!! We gotta wait till Velma is over to fully critisize it.

2.5 "You shouldnt be comparing VELMA to HELLUVA BOSS!!!"

Gonna bring this up since SOMEONE WILL. But I do NOT like Velma, I think its crap. I like Helluva Boss, not a fan of the stans and a lot of things Viv says and does. They can not take Critisism. She says she can but accually doesnt. And I kinda realize that there are some things Velma does that people role their eyes at, but when Helluva Boss does it, they get praised for it. Again, I 👏DO 👏NOT 👏LIKE 👏 VELMA. Im treating it equal to other shows, when Velma does something everyone hates it. When Helluva Boss does it everyone likes it. For example, the Swearing and Sex jokes. When Velma does it, people say that they swear and do sex jokes for no reason and it ruins the mood. But when Helluva Boss does it (Which keep in mind, 90% of the dialoug is sex and swearing.) It gets praised. Just wanted to point it out.

3. "Its Hell, what do you expect? 🤡"

I saved the best for last. Yall probably heard this one before lol. So, Im just gonna say that yes the characters do live in hell and that can lead to their bad behavior and cruel humor. The issue that I have is that will be used to defend bad writing. Yes they live in hell, but that doesnt mean 90% of the dialoug should be sex, swearing, and angst. Yknow the end of Unhappy Campers where Moxxie and Millie dressed as siblings and had sex on stage infront of minors? "But its hell!" Yes, BUT its out of character for Moxxie and Millie. MOXXIE ESPECIALLY!!!! ITS ALSO GROSS LIKE HOW IS THIS FUNNY?????

There are also double standards. For example when Stella turns out to be a abusive bish, we are made to suppose to hate her. But when Loona was abusive to her adoptive father who took her in and gave her love, we are suppose to laugh??? Also, dont say "But he threatened to replace her!" No, Loona brought it up AFTER she was attacking Blitzø and he roled along with it.

"But its Hell!!!" my butt. If Stella is abusive to make Stolas look like a justified character and her unlikeable, then why should I like Loona? And no, trauma is not an excuse. She is 22 and she has control of her own self.

And like??? If I were to write a story of some unlikeable guy in New York City who killed people for no reason, should my excuse be "Its society, what do you expect? This is life, get over it."

Conclusion

In conclusion, if you accually want to defend the writing of your horny demon show, then find accual critisms. Again, I👏 Like👏This👏Show. But when Fans and Viv shield any critisms and just see it as blind hate, it makes me upset. Most people who critisize this show like it. The thing is, if we praise or ignore something that needs to be critiqued, then the writing wont get any better. If we critisize it, then there is a chance that Viv will realize she needs to put effort into her wrighting.

I like this show, it inspired me, but Season 2 is such a downgrade from the previous season.

[chaifootsteps]

weirdly enough, I think I understand the deranged viv fans hating all criticism towards the series? to an extent, I mean (I get being upset by it to an extent but their behaviour is deranged) i am someone who gets violently hyperfixated on one piece of media for months at a time, and during that period i cannot really see any criticism towards said thing since then i risk losing my interest in it, for some reason, which is very strange and annoying (critically analysing stuff is fun! especially stuff you like! but i guess that’s just one of my weird icks or something i dunno)

I think that’s a good guess for what’s happening maybe? I can’t really think of anything else, this sort of behaviour is just so baffling to me tbh, like even if you have this same weird thing you can just. ignore it. and like no piece of media is gonna be perfect, like even if i react weirdly to seeing critism of my current thing that doesn’t mean it’s wrong, yknow? i think maybe that’s something these sorts of people don’t understand? maybe they’re just very self centred or something IDK trying to understand why people act so strangely like this is weirdly fascinating to me, i apologise for the weird rant

also, if anyone does have any tips on how to get over the whole “my favourite thing getting critiqued makes me lose interest in it” thing, that would be nice bc it literally sucks so bad

That's actually a new one to me! No judgement though, everyone's got their thing, and it's good that you recognize it's not an excuse to try to doxx strangers on the internet.

I think it sounds like you're already doing the right thing, just ignoring it and going on with your life and if anyone gives you shit about it, block them. If you're enjoying something, then you are, and all the critique in the world shouldn't be able to take that from you.

[dreadfuldevotee]

I understand the award outrage with iwtv, I do. But I am holding your hand when I say that no one infront of, or behind the cameras gives a singular fuck about The Emmys. It's nice to be critically acclaimed and have everyone watch this show and there are absolutely genuine critisms being laid against AMC about the way this show is marketed!! But the awards don't mean anything. Rolin and Co. are not barely scraping by to make this show, the cast are not particularly pressed about if they will continue their characters journeys, the producers are not threatening to shut off the lights if it isn't the next Games of Thrones or something. They've been renewed, they're going to keep being renewed if the complete flop of Mayfair Witches gets to keep existing. I think it would take this show swan diving into hell for AMC to cut the cord on it.

[mediocre-stories]

The Cliffs

TW: mentions of depression, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of suicide, mentions of death, vulgar language

Authours Note: Hi everyone! Thank you for your patience with me! I am officially done school for the summer so I will have tons of time to write! I hope you enjoy this one, writing it broke my heart a little bit but there is a happy ending! Once again this story is based off of Shane's six heart event from Stardew Valley. I hope you enjoy reading and as always feel free to leave me some constructive critism!

It was another sleepless night. You had been having a lot of those lately. The air in the farmhouse was heavy with the summer heat, your sheets clung to your body, and the mattress you laid on itched at your skin. You rolled over, peering to your wallclock.

2 am. You groaned.

You made the decision to go for a walk, you slipped on your work boots, pulled on a wool sweater, and headed out the door.

It was raining hard, the water hitting your skin with enough force to make it lightly sting. The trees lit up with the flashes of lighting, and the valley air felt crisp as it entered your lungs. You walked to your favourite place, Cindersap Forest. The quiet of the trees and the calm of the lake soothed your nerves. You walked along the edge of the lake, letting the rain cool your flushed skin.

You made your way towards the cliffs. As you walked, a flash of lightning revealed the figure of a man laying near the edge of the cliffs. You jumped. As the lightning illuminated the forest again, you realized the figure was Shane. You approached him cautiously.

"Shane?"

He lifted his head off the ground, looking up at you. His dark hair stuck to his face due to the rain. His eyes were glazed over and he slurred his words as he spoke.

"Y/N...I-I'm sorry." He hiccuped.

You felt a pit grow in your stomach, "why?"

"My life... it's a pathetic fucking joke." Shane paused to let out a small chuckle, resting his head on the ground again. "I mean look at me." The smile disappered from Shane's face as his voice cracked with tears, "I'm too small and stupid to... to take control of my life."

As Shane spoke, you moved to sit beside him. You hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder, wanting to find some form of comfort to provide him. He seemed to flinch at your touch.

"I'm such a fucking piece of shit, Y/N. I do nothing but disappoint everyone around me. Marnie can hardly look at me, Jas is scared to talk to me. Did you know I'm her godfather? At least I'm supposed to be, but I can't even do that. Her parents were my college friends, they died in a car accident and left her with me. They trusted me, and look what I've done."

Shane's body racked with sobs as you rubbed his back. "Shane, you're doing all you can. You were put in a difficult situation, but Jas has a roof over her head, food in her belly, and people who love her."

"But none of that is because of me, that's all Marnie Y/N, not me."

The storm seemed to get stronger as Shane talked. The thunder rumbled through your body and the lightning illuminated the rocky cliffs below.

"I've been coming here often lately...looking down. Here's my chance to finally take control of my life. I could just jump, I wouldn't hurt anyone anymore."

You sighed, looking out at the sky. You let Shane rant, knowing that nothing you could say would help, he had to want to help himself. You just prayed to Yoba that he would realize this sooner than later. He laughed again.

"I can't do it Y/N. I'm too fucking scared, just like always. It's pathetic. All I do is work, sleep, and drink just to try and forget about how much I hate myself. Why should I even go on Y/N? Tell me why I shouldn't jump."

You paused, racking your brain for the right words, "Shane, I can't tell you what to do and what not to do. You have to make your own decisons, but I am here for you. Always."

He rolled onto his back and looked up at you, gently grabbing your hand that was rubbing his back. He interlocked his fingers with yours and squeezed. "Thank you Y/N. Thank you for telling me like it is. I'm tired of the bullshit I hear from people. I'm so sorry I've been so mean to you."

"Hey, don't worry about it. It was refreshing to talk to a real person again. People in this town can be too cheery sometimes." you joked. He smiled, rolling back over to face the cliff.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you should take me to the hospital now."

"Okay."

You stood up and helped Shane to his feet. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you stumbled to the hospital. You had to stop a few times to let him vomit, rubbing his back each time.

-----------------------------------

You were sat in the waiting room. Maru had brought you a blanket, as the rain had soaked through your clothes and chilled you to the bone. You waited anxiously for what felt like hours. You had called Marnie, who was now sitting beside you, picking at her nails to distact herself. When Dr. Harvey finally emerged from the emergency room, you both stood up.

"You can come and see him."

You and Marnie entered the emergency room. There was Shane, laying on a hospital bed. His skin was pale and sickly looking. He was hooked up to so many unfamiliar machines. He looked so small laying in that bed, you heard Marnie sob. Dr. Harvey broke the silence.

"I've pumped his stomach and rehydrated his body. He's going to be okay. It's good that you brought him in though, Y/N. " Dr. Harvey sighed, "Too much alcohol is terrible for the body, but right now I'm most worried about his mental health."

Dr. Harvey moved towards Marnie, pulling out a pamphlet from his pocket, "When he comes to, I'll have a chat with him about his treatment options. I know an excellent counselor in Zuzu City. Life can be painful sometimes, but there's always hope for a better future. You've got to believe in that."

-----------------------------------

It was the next afternoon. You left the hospital early in the morning, returning to the farm to do your chores. After everything was tended to, you fell asleep on your couch, finally catching up on the hours of sleep you had missed last night. You awoke to a knock on your door. You moved to your front door and opened it, rubbing your eyes groggily at the light from outside entering your small farmhouse. There stood Shane, looking sheepish, but much better than last night.

"Hey." you spoke.

"Hey..." he replied, looking at his shoes. "Oh man, how do I say this? I'm really sorry about what happened last night at the cliffs. That was embarrassing."

You gave him a small smile, "it's okay. I'm just glad you weren't alone."

He looked up and smiled back, "yeah, thank you for being there for me."

"I told you I always will be."

The conversation went silent, the only sound coming from the whistling of the wind. Shane spoke again.

"I've decided I want to see a therapist. Harvey got me in touch with a colleague of his. Anyways...I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And I want you to know that I am going to take things a little more seriously from now on."

"I'm really happy for you Shane." In the heat of the moment, you hugged him, wrapping your arms around his neck, taking in the smell of his colonge. You felt his body stiffen for a moment, then relax at your touch. He brought his arms around your waist. You stayed there for a moment before you both pulled away.

"Well uh, I should get going. Thanks again Y/N." Shane said, you noticed a small blush creep across his cheeks. "Maybe after my first counselling session I could stop by and we could talk?"

"Of course, you're always welcome on the farm."

"Thank you Y/N, I haven't had a friend in a long time."

[ganeshpnf]

To the anon that sent me an ask about asking my thoughts about the tv show, Im so sorry but something happened and I think it got deleted 😭 But dw I would still answer it here-

So this would be a critism post and I want to make it clear that everyone is free to reblog and comment their thoughts freely, while being kind. Critism is valid and its not rude, but any bad comments or hateful remarks to any actor, especially child actors, would be deleted. I dont like blocking so dont make me please!

Okay to start, I would be so honest and say I did not find the show successful and I did not like it. I would explain all the reasons, but did it make me feel nostalgia a bit? Yes it did. Did it make me cry at the end? Yes :) I would add pros at the end. But first:

Cgi was really bad, I mean that claiming scene would be a laughing stock in a few years. Chimera? Nope- Medusa's hair also looked better in that movie in 2010. Also they avoided showing Grover's legs so much, also didn't even show us riptide's change...They got 15M per episode and if these are the results, then it is a problem. Background of Percy and Ares's fight- so so greenscreen. I wish Disney can take things seriously.

Lighting was so dark, especially for the lighting thief. Which was such a humor filled book and it was way too colorful. Why make it all so dark and lifeless?

Also humor? Way too low for pjo. "But we are not reading Percy's mind!" Yet, there were so many jokes in the books that could have been add, but they didn't. Yes there are some good jokes (pinecone fate) but to the standart, I expected to laugh way more. Its pjo!

Changes? Well to be honest I am a person who keeps book and show separate, I dont think they are the same at all. So I dont complain about the changes at much. But most of the changes were pointless to me and so many things left unsaid. I wish they didn't make Gabe way too soft. Children's show, yes. But then again, what would you do for later seasons if they cant even show Crusty's dead. Sally's real reason to marry Gabe never get explained, why? 4 pearls, why? Missing deadline? Totally pointless. Not mentioning Riptide's name? Chiron might have say it. Love tunnel? Now its a long one. Rick explained they couldn't do spiders and its hilarious, you gotta do sea monsters man- And instead of a chance to see an actual comedy: live on Olympus and Annabeth losing her shit. We get to see such a early scene of Percabeth drama. Why changing one of the funniest scene in the books to drama? You needed more edits for view or smt? Hephaestus falling over to the speech of friendship was nothing but cringe to me. Moving on, Thalia's acting to Annabeth. Why she is not nice to her and Annabeth had to earn her love. The point was Thalia to remember Jason and taking Annabeth under her wings immediatly bcs of it. Medusa's scene- Instead of us laughing to trio's silly behaviours and falling to her trap like little kids would, we get to hear a monster-hero talk. Yay another speech! Ovid's side of the story also bothered me. Greek mythology, why adding Ovid? Just us to sympatize with Medusa. Lotus Casino scene- We could have watch them have fun and going crazy but noo- they had do add more drama with Hermes. Did not see the point of his appearing either. Why is he there? I wanted to see them being children...And wanted to see the magic of the place!

Now if I move to characters, Percy's I know it all side is just annoying and adds no suspense to the viewers. What's the point if he knows everything already? "But his mom taught him!" But guys, remember, the whole point of pjo was: us to learn with Percy! We were learning the Greek myths with Percy, who is new to the world. They go somewhere and Percy immediatly: "You are Crusty, my mom told stories about you!" 😑 What a relief then! You tell us. Percy's sudden bravery at the end? Dude, he has 5 books for that.

Annabeth turning to a stoic child soldier? Suddenly goody-two shoes? Where are her emotions? Her fears? Her flaws? Her fricking love of architecture? She doesnt need to know everything to be smart girl. She had ADHD, she is 12! Ofc she was supposed to fall in traps. We should have watch her blushing as Luke talks, getting all wet by Percy in the toilet, she was supposed to our little girl. She is not just a badass queen yet, please. Give her personality back. Why she only smiled once at the end of the series? And not having a childhood, not even watched a movie? You guys cant be serious- She grew up in chb! She picked up strawberries, she played games and she watched movies when she was little, remember? She was not in legion... She is one of the most emotional characters, should we remind this to Rick and writers? She cries, she has feeling! Dam she was crying when they left Cerberus! She was a trouble-maker, she stole clothes, remember? Her portrayal was awful...

And about the Gods- Just..."He is trying to make them look awful at the beginning" Then why the hell it was only Athena? Almost turning her to second Zeus- Are you kidding me? You make her suddenly a child killer, when in the books she was nothing like that. Why making her worse, when other gods(Poseidon, Hermes, Hephaestus,Dionysus,Ares,Hades) seem way more human and nicer? You cant tell me he tries to make them worse when they are portrayed like that! No sir- Hephaestus is nice enough to release Percy after a friendship speech. Poseidon is suddenly a perfect dad, he is not sorry that Percy is born. Ares is just a dumb twitter bully, where in the books he was threating them to no end. And fricking Hades?! I am sorry but Hades like that- He should have been scary. But no, he is just a lonely cool guy. I thought he softened after Nico. Cant wait for the development now...

Other than that, one of my most important things: vibe. Sorry...Like I said, it was way too boring for pjo. Even that horrible movies had more vibe! Gimme the vibe!

Pacing? Has a problem and I hope they fix it. Episodes being too short? Also another issue.

Now for the chb, I was hoping to see more activity. Why the camp is not full of noisy kids running around, playing hide and seek like in the books, training wild around the areas, camfire and silly songs? Where are our children screaming and being ADHD demigods? Instead they play chess in the cabin- Please, give more life to chb.

Finally, for the things I liked:

Riptide song!!! That song is my favourite thing in the whole show- Like its soo good.

Seeing Sally's struggle to raise Percy. Also a plus for me. Because I was curious. Also adding Poseidon to the scene was okay. I loved that parts.

Young Percy did awesome and he was such a good actor :)

Percy's dreams were good, I loved seeing them. Congrats! Andd, child accurate cast. It was important. But I wish they hurry so then we wont have it anymore 😭

That was it! Like I said, I find it a bad show, as a fan of 12 years. I waited this for so many years. I was dreaming this. But sorry, bad show is a bad show. At least it did give me some nostalgia and it did make me cry at the end :) I hope they improve because it would suck if they get a cancel before season 5. The bad thing is, I feel they knew we pjo fandom wanted a show for years. And they knew we would eat the crumbs. Its just not fair, you know. They would like it anyway, type. They are not taking it as seriously as they should. With that budget, look at other shows with that budget. I know, its still a kids' show. But I dont think its an excuse for them to upset the fans who waited this long...

Thanks for the ask anon! And like I said, feel free to add your thoughts :)

[sniigura-archive]

come see inside my heart (1)

spencer reid x fem! reader

Summary: You’re rehabilitated! You swear on it! So, when a serial killer turns up, with the same killing method as you, it threatens everything you have worked not-so hard for.

tw/cw: CANON TYPICAL VOILENCE AND THEMES! This chapter is mild but! Further chapters will deal with mature topics, read at your own risk! I am not responsible for you guys. I take no critism btw

Read on AO3 for better formatting + tagging. Enjoy.

This isn’t Spencer´s scene. He knew it, his team knew it, and so did the woman and men who approached him. A successful caught criminal means a night out at a bar, or club in this scenario. Usually he could handle it, the people, the sounds, the overstimulation of his senses.

Sadly, today was a bad day, where everything was just a bit too much. So he excused himself to the restrooms, but he just ended up going through the back door, into an alley. It was dirty, with trash everywhere, but it was better then being inside right now. Spencer planned to be alone, for like 10 minutes to recharge and try again.

But, well, he wasn’t alone. A girl was crouching on the floor. Her arms over her knees, hiding away her face.

“I’m sorry… are you in need of assistance? Are you hurt?” Spencer carefully asked.

The girl lifted her head up, looking right at him with cold eyes. He wishes she was just looking at him, it felt like he was being looked right into. She was unraveling him, simply with her eyes. His soul was laid bare before her.

“…No, sorry if I scared you. I’m just trying to recharge my social battery.” Her hands rubbed over her forehead. She still made no move to get up.

Spencer carefully nodded, a small voice told him if he said the wrong thing, or made the wrong move that she would leave. He doesn’t want her to leave.

“I can relate to that, that’s why I also came out here.” Spencer said, he then tried to casually lean against the wall behind him. Once he came in contact with the wall, he felt it crumble under him. He quickly pulled away and wiped away the dirt from his cardigan.

And even though Spencer hates dirt, and he knows he will have to bleach his clothes and himself once he get’s home, he thinks it’s worth it. Simply because you giggled at him. He looked at you, still on the ground, but your lips were pulled into a grin. He couldn’t help but smile at you back.

“I thought you looked like a smart guy, guess I was wrong.” Your tone was teasing, and the playful insult causes him to blush in embarrassment.

“Yeah, well…Uhmm…Yeah..” And usually Spencer was quick with his words, his brain constantly on overdrive. And he could easily come up with some witty respond. His problem right now? The intense eye contact you guys held. Spencers only salvation was looking away. He took a deep breath and finally spoke,

“Well, actually I have three Phds and an IQ of 187. You tell me if that makes me an smart guy.”

“Three? Dude, how old are you?” You looked at him with big eyes.

“24.” At his answer you looked even more shocked, “Do I look that old?” He tried to tease you.

“No! No, its just I am 26 and I am not even close to three Phds, or an IQ of 187. I’m kind of envying you right now.” You slowly stood up, shaking out your legs.

“I also have eidetic memory.” You looked at him with confusion, “It’s, uh, commonly known as an photographic memory.”

“Now you’re just bragging. But being able to remember everything? That’s something I don’t envy. I love my mind for being able to repress things.”

“It’s true, it’s not always…easy. It’s very practical though in my line of work.” Spencer shifted from one leg to the other. Speaking to people wasn’t his forte, especially ones in his age rage who he was attracted to.

“Oh? What’s your occupation?” You tilted your head slightly to the side, looking him up and down.

“I work for the FBI, in the, uh, Behavioural Analysis Unit.” Spencer cleared his throat, trying to shake off his nervousness. He can talk to serial killers, but one pretty girl leaves him speechless.

“Wow! A doctor and agent? You are really an high achiever.” Spencer laughed slightly at your words, “Yeah, my name is Spencer Reid, by the way.”

You told him your name and stretched out your hands towards him. “Uhm, actually, did you know its safer to kiss then to shake hands? Yeah! It’s because of the-“

“Well, let’s kiss then.” You giggled at his stuttering, and the blush coating his cheeks and ears, “I’m just kidding! Unless..” Tip toeing towards him, you leaned your shoulder against the wall, looking right at Spencers side profile. He turned his head towards you, not wanting to miss a secound of looking at you.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his hands were starting to sweat.

“Can I have your number?” Spencer helplessly blurred out. Hopefully you were as interested in him as he was in you.

“Ah, I don’t think you will actually like me..” You trailed off, but still smiled at him.

“Why? You can’t know that.”

“Hmm, I do know, sadly. I’m not really…a good person, you know? I’m probably on some kind of watchlist.” You looked away from him, your finger was playing around with your lips.

“No way! I don’t believe you.” Spencer tried to convince you otherwise. In his head, he knew that this was a warn sign from you. Either you suffered from low self esteem, were not interested in him and tried to shake him off, or you were telling the truth. Please, be a liar. “What terrible thing did you commit?”

You hummed, your face losing its smile and you spoke in a whisper, “I’m a serial killer.”

Spencer’s blood ran cold at your words, he couldn’t tell if you were joking or not. But his question was quickly answered, because you started laughing, “You should have seen your face! For legal reasons I was joking, obviously.” You bumped your shoulder against his and made your way back to the door. “Bye bye, doctor Reid, you might get my number the next time we meet.” And with that you disappeared inside.

His saving grace was Morgan calling him, asking if he fell down the toilet or something. Spencer hurried back inside, the whole night he didn’t see your face again.

___

You always meet someone twice. Spencer could curse whoever came up with that phrase, but well. He also cursed himself. Wishing to meet the pretty stranger from last week shouldn’t be too much to ask for. But, with his bad luck, it is apparently.

Spencer got what he asked for, he met you again. Sadly, under bad circumstances. While he daydreamed about sitting across from you at a dinner, he didn’t really expect to see you sitting in the interrogation room at the DC police station. While he could see you through the glass, you weren’t able to see him.

Hotch and Gideon stood beside Spencer, looking into the room, studying you, “She won’t crack, she didn’t when she was 16 and she sure won’t now at 26.” Gideon said into the silent room, Hotch nodded his head.

“We still have to try, we have no other choice.” Hotch replied in his usual even tone.

Gideon looked at the file in his hand, he then made his way inside to you. He sat himself across from you and sighed, “Weren’t you supposed to keep out of trouble?”

“…I do.” Your voice was stable, your hand was playing around with your handcuff.

“Yeah? Well, it doesn’t look like that to me.” With that Gideon opened the file and put the pictures of the crime scenes on the table. Only catching a glimpse of the content of the pictures, you turn your head away to the wall. Spencer was able to catch you grimacing.

“Yikes, want me to pass out?”

“There is no blood in those pictures. Take a look at them.”

Slowly, you turned your head back towards Gideon, avoiding looking at the table. With a deep sigh you looked at the pictures, Your brows were furrowed, studying the pictures, or more like trying to, because after a few seconds you started gagging and quickly turned them around, so you didn’t have to see them again.

“What the hell does this have to do with me?”

The pictures weren’t even gruesome, for the standard of the FBI. It were simple corpses, no guts, blood, or even visible bruises.

“Where were you last Tuesday, from 8PM to 11PM?”

“…I was at home?”

“You have any witnesses?”

“Yeah, actually. We have cameras all around and inside the house. My car and phone are also both being constantly tracked. Don’t worry, Jason, I can’t make a step without everyone knowing.” And with that you leaned against your chair, your arms crossed across your chest. You were shutting down.

Gideon noticed this and got up, knowing this was as much as he could get. He joined the other men on the other side of the glass.

The team was depriving with the police department, on what next steps they should take.

“The Heart, known for his obsession with blood. It is actually an unsolved case in the FBI, the Heart was active from 2010 to 2013 and seemingly stopped his killing abruptly. The profile which was established back then was of a white male, in his 20’s to early 30’s, someone who was charismatic and worked in the medical field. What’s really interesting about this case is the time frame, or more like the time in which the kills committed. Usually, serial killers evolve, the time between kills becomes less and less, the need for a high rising. With this one here, the time frame between the kills becomes more, as if the killer is seemingly lost interest.” Spencer rambled on.

“That’s great and all, but what does this have to do with the girl we took into custody? I know her Daddy, and I’m afraid he will come in here raise Hell soon. Do we even have any evidence.” A random police officer called into the room.

“We are aware that our current custodee seems innocent, but we have reasons to believe that she is in fact the Heart killer. We just…weren’t able to prosecute her. This may change now. We can hold someone in custody without evidence for 48 hours, I advise that was use the time wisely.” Aaron said, establishing dominance. The team was aware that the police officers were antsy, convincing them to take you into custody was hard enough.

Their job was just about to become harder, because two men entered the police department.

“Tell me a good reason on why I shouldn’t sue you and your whole bloodline.” One of the men spoke angrily.

“Sir, do you know where your daughter was last Tuesday from 8PM to 11PM?” Gideon calmly asked the upset father, “She claims to have been at home. Can you support that statement?”

“I don’t have to, we have cameras at our hose. We can check right now, if you want to. The video files are uploaded to our cloud.” The father carefully phrased, not wanting to incriminate his daughter any further. He made eye contact with the other man, a lawyer, who nodded his head.

This was a quick process, the video files were send to Garcia and she checked for any kind of manipulation.

“Well, depending on who hears this, it’s either good or bad news. The alibi is waterproof, no! It’s bulletproof. Not even for last Tuesday, but for all the murder times. On the day she wasn’t home, you can easily track her to the campus library, where they have video surveillance. So, yeah, not our guy…gal.”

“Thanks, Garcia.” With that Hotch ended the phone call. He looked at the projection of you in your home in one video, in the next it’s set in the library. He really hoped this would be an easy wrap up.

“What if she has a partner?” Morgan threw into the room, wanting to nothing more then to send you away for life.

“No. She keeps to herself and seems to be introverted.” Hotch answered. “We have no other choice but to let her go. Reid, release her. This doesn’t mean we won’t keep an eye on her, of course.” With these words Hotch left the room, probably sharing the news with the other law enforcement members.

Spencer made his way to you, keys in his hand. He opened the door, and took his time studying you without the glass separating you both. It was the middle of the night, you simply wore a tank top and shorts, sleep wear. Across your legs and arms were countless bruises, some old and some new. Scars lined your skin, some on your neck, those were small and delicate. Others were an your arm, your wrists, your thighs. Of course, the mandatory knee scars from being a kid weren’t missing. And Spencer would nearly miss it, if he wasn’t painfully familiar with them.

Small, circular scars on your arm. Old track marks. They were scarred over and there was no bruising, a good sign.

You didn’t bother looking at who came through the door, your house being raided in the middle of the night kinda ruined your mood. All you want to do is sleep. For once in your life, you were innocent!

Spencer walked towards you, he then carefully unlocked your handcuffs. Looking up, you saw the cute guy from the club. You kinda missed him.

“I didn’t do it.” You quickly said, not knowing what else to do.

“…I know.” Spencer spoke quietly, your alibi saved you. “The, ah, victimology doesn’t fit at all, the Heart killed at random while this one, while using the same killing method, has a specific victim type.”

“Yeah, girls who look like me. Just because I’m squeamish as hell, doesn’t mean I can’t make the obvious connection.”

This is embarrassing for Spencer, because truthfully, he didn’t make the connection. Yet. Maybe he should look for a different career path. Once your hand was free, you massaged your temples. You left the room and walked into the police station, the officers looked uncomfortable. Spencer followed you.

“…It might be a copycat. The killing methods and Victimology suggest that it’s an obsessive fan. Have you noticed anyone following you recently? Or a constant feeling of being watched?” Spencer couldn’t help but ask you, any information is good information. And any attention from you is good attention.

You turned towards Spencer, looking up at him. He could feel the anger radiating off you.

“Or, unpopular opinion, I also didn’t commit the first murders and it’s the true killer returning. Ever thought of that, Phd boy? I was just accused of murder back then! Without any evidence! Why is there no evidence? Because I’m innocent! Just because your fucking senior over there used his what? Magic super powers of reading fucking body language? Get fucked, honestly.” You turned away from Spencer completely, choosing to only look at your father.

“We are…Sorry for the inconvenience, the profile just fit and we didn’t think it through. Life’s are at stake here, and you did commit a murder.” Hotch tried to defuse the tense atmosphere, the team knew that the police officers were very sceptical towards the BAU. This could ruin any relationship and progress they made.

“You call it murder, the Judge and I call it self defense. Agree to disagree, I guess? Or are you salty that you weren’t able to catch the phedophillic serial rapist back then? Sorry that I killed him when he attacked me, next time I will remember to just not defend myself, asshole.”

Your father put a hand on your shoulder, a signal to stop. Your lawyer thankfully didn’t look stressed out, so you didn’t say anything too incriminating. Crossing your hands over your chest, you decided to shut up for the rest of your stay here.

“We would love to help you, Agent. We truly do, but if this is all we would like to leave now.” Your father carefully said. Innocent until proven otherwise.

There is not much Hotch could do, since it was now clear that you were not behind the murders. He nodded his head, “Of course, once again we are sorry for the intrusion.”

With that you once again leave Spencer behind. How inappropriate would it have been to ask you for your number?