#nightvale I fucking hate you

[joskippy]

Nightvale thank you for making ghost stories live show a mandatory listen due to this ep so everyone can experience the agony I went through

[toomanyfandomsstuff]

I guess it’s becoming a tradition for me every December to pick a horror podcast to listen to while I cry over a graphite drawing in art 😞

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Hi!

I do not answer donation asks and do not reblog most donation posts. For my mental health. Seriously.

Nicholases: Anthony Mikey

Nicks: ant; glow

Gender: wobbly (transmasc enby)

Pronouns: ey/vey/zey/they/he any just get silly

Orient.: aro/ace

Status: queerplatonic whore WITH THE BEST QP FIANCÉE IN THE WORLD

Age: minor ig

Pronouns Page

Languages: English (native), Spanish (decent), Romanian (bad)

Brain Stuff: OCD, ADHD, autism, psychosis, PTSD, bipolar disorder

Physical Stuff: hyper-mobile Ehlers Danlos Spectrum Disorder; postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome; migraines

DMs?: I’m awkward and may not answer at all. If I don’t say anything after like, two days just assume I either forgot or was just uncomfortable but didn’t want to say anything. Feel free to try again if u want with something else I might reply then. I’m an unpredictable feral rat about DMs sometimes. Idk. Don’t assume I hate you.

Tone tags?: yes

Asks: anything nonsexual and not asking me for money I will not respond to those

Flirting/compliments?: non romantic and nonsexual

Swearing: I swear so much I don’t always register the use of the word fuck and my phone has autocorrected ‘duck’ to ‘fuck’ before.

Previously pinned post: horses

My overly active ao3: ant_is_in_an_anthill

My neglected art blog: @ants-awesome-art-blog (also present here tagged as ‘ant art go brr’)

My danger days fic specifically: endangered gays fic (yes! That’s me!! I’m that guy!! Yippee!!)

Side blogs:

@cherri-cola-soda & @broken-acid-in-the-morning-light & @moth-moon-the-whore & @dead-spider-in-the-sun & @crazy-yellow-bitch (kjrp)

Things I talk about pretty consistently:

- danger days

- Myself

- My danger days fic

Blog tags and more abt me under the cut

Things I talk about sporadically:

- Dracula

- The Historian

- The end Cretaceous Extinction Event

- Star Wars

- TMA & TMAGP

- Languages

- Bears in trees

- Other assorted music artists

- My intense craving for a Mikey Way 2012 fender bass guitar

Tags (I’m still sorting my blog so it’s sporadic and more will be added)

Chaoticbuggybitchboy - literally anything I said words on

Some blogs I interact with semi regularly have their urls tagged

Malevolent ant - me thinking about malevolent whenever I remember to listen to it (sunny I’m so sorry)

Complaining - me. Complaining. About anything and everything

I have a couple levels of vent tags there’s mild vent and cw vent

Infodumping in the tags again - what it sounds like

Ant activated - things relating to world events and general activism stuff

Making up words - for when I’m making up words again

Me when he /p - me posting about a boy I like. I’m sorry. Not stopping.

Ayudame - when I need help but in Spanish

Wtnv rambles - welcome to Nightvale, where I ramble.

Ant the space cadet - Star Wars talk

Showing and telling :] - yeah

My posts that hit it off - ones that took off in some way

My hit bit posts - the two(!!!!) posts bears in trees official reblogged

Marigold corpse fic - a different thing I wrote, also up on ao3 :]

Ant makes polls - get this I make polls

Danger days tags:

Danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys - umbrella tag for all danger days content (yes I chose the longest possible tag)

Endangered gays fic - my massive fic series and anything at all related to it (including when I ramble in the tags so remember to check there if ur interested)

Danger days - general danger days; not associated with my fic

Danger days art - art

Ddttlotfk - album stuff talking about the songs rather than the lore

[strawberrysugasoba]

update i am on 100.5 and i personally don’t think i’d be able to handle going through all this shit in 2018. just could not be me, i would be unhinged, feral, rip me out the cage- 100.5?! are we serious right now. to leave on that note with that weird ass episode, it’s a mid season break- who posts on a mid season break? that’s when you update your socials but genuinely these guys go crazy. rustyquillgamingpodcast i am coming for you. when i find friends who are committed to letting their freak fly and role play i will be you. can’t want to listen and fall asleep to that but i can’t because i still have to finish tma. do not get me wrong i love love love the special, but i would loose it in 2018!! and the winners of the rusty fear’s competition congrats those stories were scrumdilyisous i love that, but what is going on at the archives guys :0! i have so many thoughts on that as well because so much has happened, and i came in so blind.

i literally had no clue, not even an inkling as to what tma was about except for some pinterest meme mentionings when i was in a deep welcome to nightvale phase. since then i’ve tried to keep spoilers to a minimum but i love drawing so i was looking for inspo on pinterest.

does tim get better? is he cured of his contain of being an asshole? i thought they were all friends before (kind sorta) all that weird shit was going on which makes me also wonder why jon’s always dogging on martin. aren’t those two supposed to be in love, don’t they confess and get married in the institute and have freak babies? idk what’s going on with them. but sasha is really just dead, and the two sasha thing only lasted a season? i felt like it would have ate to draw that out more. and then elias is hot, i love psychopaths (not really, maybe, this is just jokes!!), yes you slay that man with a pipe. trap innocent people into being a part of your cult. serve cunt and don’t get your hands dirty, i love you. and jon, please get it tf together. i thought we were much stronger than this. i held out hope you’d be chill and just rolled with the punches but you’re a pussy jon. jon you’re a pussy and i need you doing more statements because martin is too pathetic at the end! i do love martin though, you stand up for your potential love interest and say fuck you to dickhead (the most sensible guy around) tim. lastly what is with all the jurgen leitner hate? i love him, he just wanted experience shit bro let the man live. i used to make potions in my bathroom so if you want to play pretend monster and have a book collection go ahead. like my guy is chill asf.

i feel like i’ve ranted enough but i feel bad for the people who experienced this as it was coming out. y’all would have had to lock me up!!

[pastafossa]

Thanks you so much @teigo-the-explorer for the tag! This makes a good break from work and/or chapter writing!

PART ONE

Are you named after anyone: I am not! Though fam did intentionally choose a name that couldn’t be shortened to a nickname or rhymed with anything.

when was the last time you cried? Yesterday when I was editing a sad section of my TRT outline to make it MORE sad, RIP me and all of you when we hit that point

do you have kids? Nope and I’ve gone so far as to have my tubes incinerated

do you use sarcasm a lot: NEVER

what's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they have a dog. But if you mean on their person, usually if they have a cool shirt! Bodywise: eyes.

what's your eye colour: Blue-green!

scary movies or happy endings: I like them both but if I HAD to choose I’d go happy endings

any special talents: According to my woodcarving teacher, I’m excellent at carving! I managed to carve 5 projects in a week on my first go, including a couple of the more difficult projects he’d set out for more experienced carvers. FINALLY, A VISUAL ART I’M GOOD AT. I’m also really good at just eyeballing a wall and figuring out how a bunch of hung frames will look good without having to draw it out!

where were you born? Los Angeles! It’s one reason I chose it for Ciro and Jane’s history in TRT - it meant I had to do less research since I was familiar with the area. I already knew a lot of landmarks, geography, culture, weather/environment, and speech patterns.

what are your hobbies?: woodcarving, reading, writing, video games, cooking, traveling whenever I can, movies and tv!

have any pets?: I do! 3 cats, 1 dog, and 1 snake!

what sports do you play/have played?: Oh god I tried a lot of them and my skills are... very much elsewhere. When I was a kid I tried soccer (fast but bad at kicking), ballet (teacher told my parents I had a future in the performing arts, just not dance), baseball (can’t hit a ball to save my life). I did have some success with horseback riding though! I did some trail and a little barrel racing for about ten years, and it is by far the most advanced I ever got with a sport.

how tall are you?: 5′5-5′6 depending on my anxiety level

favourite subject in school?: English, I loved English class. 

dream job?: Due to health problems I’m a little limited in what I can do. If I was healthy, zoologist/marine biologist. As I am, author!

PART TWO

first ship: Oh god, uuuuh let me think. Loosely was probably April x Casey in TMNT since that was my favorite movie as a kid. First active ship that I openly rooted for... maybe Rogue and Gambit from X-Men TAS, like damn I was a kid but I WANTED them together SO FUCKING BAD like why is she hooked on fucking Scott (i hated scott) when she has Gambit RIGHT THERE, RIGHT FUCKING THERE GIRL.

three ships: Since most everyone knows my Marvel ships, I’ll step outside it and go with - Troi x Worf (Star Trek: TNG), Cecil x Carlos (most wholesome ship ever courtesy Welcome to Nightvale), and Leslie Knope x Ben Wyatt (Parks and Recreation)

last (current) song: Flu Game by Fall Out Boy not me playing this album on loop since it came out last week

last movie: San Andreas, don’t judge me

currently reading: Re-reading Taggerung by Brian Jacques, which is my favorite Redwall book and the first Redwall book I ever picked up! I was at a book fair and came around a corner and saw this FUCKING BADASS PIRATE OTTER??? WITH A KNIFE??? AND TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS, IT WAS SO COOL I PICKED IT UP WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE SUMMARY CAUSE WHO CARES, PIRATE OTTER PIRATE OTTER TINY PASTA WANTS TO READ ABOUT PIRATE OTTERSSSSSSSS SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THIS COVER AND TELL ME YOU WOULDN’T READ THIS

currently watching: The Mandalorian, shiny space husband make brain go brrrrrr

currently consuming: Just water LOL 

currently craving: SUNSHINE BUT IT IS CLOUDY

__________

I'm tagging

@wonderlandmind4 @shadeblade16​ @intricate-melody​ @softasawhisper​ and anyone else who wants to do this!

_________

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

For the A-Z ask game: I, M, N

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Well, I could say that Tumblr made me hate Supernatural, but to be honest, Supernatural (the writers and most of the actors) made me hate it. I'm trying to think of other fandoms I might have liked until Tumblr changed my mind. I know that there are fandoms I never had anything to do with and Tumblr made me never want to have anything to with them - Homestuck, ummm - Nightvale, probably a lot of others. I have a really extensive filter list on here of stuff I don't need to see endless posts of on my dash.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Yikes. Just one? Tony Stark, definitely. Loki, obviously. Bruce Banner. Emma Frost, DEFINITELY. Bucky Barnes, Bobby Drake, Kurt Wagner, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton. Outside of Marvel, Rimble (from Zohra Greenhalgh's novels), Barlimo (same), Mercy Thompson (Patricia Briggs' novels), Colin Shea (What's Your Number), Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington (Stranger Things) - so many others, but I'll stop there.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

More love for Tony Stark (or at the least, less hate - or at least, people tagging their hate in a way that I could filter it out).

A lot more domestic, fluff, and heavy comfort fics.

Less (to no) fucking hate for m/f ships, ffs. Please.

A-Z Ask Game

[bleuberrygliscor]

look not to be that bitch. but i spent years of my life in therapy.

i spent years doing things, reading books, trying to fucking fix my own brain due to my body's really cool way of building up tolerance to my medications. Flip flopping between drugs, between therapists, between group therapy locations, between coping mechanisms both "healthy" and "wildly fucking harmful".

i spent blood, money, and tears on CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) because the years of talk therapy i did never helped me heal (and im sure my therapist that i lovingly refer to as Miss M got tired of watching me trigger myself trying to explain my fucked up brain). and Neither of those things worked for me. it was fucking crushing going to group, week after week, and watching people who lost spouses, lost jobs, actively threatened to kill themselves, get better and stop coming. to attend an anxiety group session only to have the therapist attempt to remodel one of the exercises in real time due to me being unable to close my eyes for more than a minute, playfully commenting about me cracking the arm of the plastic chair from gripping it so tightly. to watch a rotating cast for almost a year, and still be the only one left, passing them on the way to the pharmacy on the first floor and hearing that they've been doing better. the pure jealousy in watching people who were, by all accounts, fucking worse than me, recovering and yet here i was, getting some other ssri to try for the next six weeks and hope my manic episode doesnt freak out my friends.

but i figured out something recently.

i have been journaling for years, since 2002, very infrequently, at the behest of my second therapist. he suggested that writing things down would be best for me. He was very fucking wrong. i hated doing it. it just made me feel worse, lamenting my dull life, tired of writing that i did the same 3 things again today (went to school - did homework - slept). so i joined journaling subreddits and communities later on, and to the surprise of no one i hated it even more with the added competition from people who wrote nicer than i did, took better notes, led interesting lives, when my highlight was "i downloaded an mp3 from mp3bee today and i didnt get rickrolled :D". but this month (literally the last 3 days) ive been scrapbooking instead. and not just that, I've not even been talking about the nothing that i do, literally today was a nightvale quote, and im excited to do something tomorrow.

This is a really long fucking tangent, but my point is that i spent years trying to be everyone else, trying to do the shit that works for other people, and never doing the shit that works for me. fuck i didnt even know it worked for me until Tuesday of this fucking week.

Maybe opening a window, or changing you pjs doesnt help you, but something out there will. youre worth the time it takes to find it.

[arthurtaylorlester]

RETURN OF THE KING AKA WTNV LIVEBLOG EP 221

so my earphones broke so i couldnt listen to this on the bus but here we go this is gonna devastate us

sighs looking at the title we all know how this is gonna go

cecil stumbling on his words <2

:((( oh I forgot about the glow cloud (all hail) ’s child

PROTEST PART 2 LETS GOOO

bansky??? Is he okay??

he disappeared?

oh he dead.

weird flesh murals my beloved

AJFDFSF THE WAY HE SAYS DR LUBELLE

she sounds so evil somehow

i mean yeah ig people don’t talk about science

POETRY IS A FANCY WORD FOR IGNORANCE??? YOU’RE A FANCY WORD FOR IGNORANCE

i fucking hate her she isn’t explaining anything she’s just making up shit to make sense of it

THE CARLOS SHADE? i will not stand for this

‘’horrying.’’ indeed

applebees! i love sponsor but only night vale

smh long and uncatchy catchphrase

good point traffic is useless

you’re not stuck IN traffic you ARE traffic

WAIT IMAGINE LUBELLE TRYING TO EXPLAIN CECIL AND THE RADIO STATION

not me trying to understand if traffic is the metaphor for something lmao

cecil being passionate about lanes is soo wholesome :)

oh no science. bad science

HUMANITY AND LOVE AND SCIENCE !!!

that’s so accurate, like lubelle doesn’t care about the science, she cares about explanations. talk about eye-aligned

i cannot wait for Thursday

EXOTIC BIRDS !! for a jewish service !!

quiet??

ah yes the garden of lies

OH NO THE GLOW CLOUD (ALL HAIL) PLEASE BE OK

the weather is always a bop but way to happy for the context of the episode

FUCK YOU EVIL SCIENTIST LADY

glow effect?? IT IS LITERALLY AN ANCIENT ELDRITCH BEING

WRINKLE???

THAT LITERALLY ISNT TRUE

ofc you brush it off to mass hysteria like 2015 tumblr wtnv theories trying to explain the show

I SWEAR IF SHE GOES AFTER ANYONE ELSE

LIKE KAREEM OR DANA

>>>:(((((

i swear the thing she showed the citizens isn’t the Glow Cloud (ALL HAIL) she’s keeping susan and it trapped in her basement or something

NOOOO NOT THE KID :(((

we will not forgive or forget, in the words of martin kartin knife kill blackwood ‘’RESENT AND REMEMBER’’

i’m not crying but goddamn

the glow cloud is really gone :(

‘’Stay tuned next for silence. Two solid weeks of silence followed by, improbably, noise.’’ I CANT WAIT UNTIL THE 15TH I CANT

ALL HAIL NIGHTVALE ALL HAIL

[icouldntthinkofabetternamesook]

It Devours! Ramble

I should be going to be but instead have this rant about an amazing book

killing God but God is representation of your trauma, lies and repression and destroying it ultimately does nothing to solve the issue because ultimately the damage is coming from inside of and your own refusal to face how what happened still lurks in your life, and God was never really a god just a scared cornered animal acting out it’s own survival and it only has the status of a God because people are using it as a symbol to project their fears and hopes on, making it bigger and having it killed for their satisfaction

the world simply being as it is and people projecting different world views on it in their own feeble attempts at understanding and comfort

religion being primarily based in community and belief, fulfilling and yet also restricting. Science being primarily based in isolation and uncertainty, necessary for safety and yet eternally contaminated from its own ideals by human nurture. viewing reality from any angle ultimately guarantees bias and as such by witnessing and trying to understand the world we fundamentally misinterpret it and how at the end of the day the important thing is to be open to other perspectives and view points and to open yourself up to human connection even if it means being wrong, both in the technical sense and in the sense that you hurt someone even with the best intentions and those good intentions do not undermine the hurt

Nilanjana is amazing. I way over identify with her lonely girl who only needs work not friends routine

Carlos really hates local government and would be weirdly fine with seeing NighVale as a whole burn if it meant keeping the specific people he loves safe and that is very sexy of him

Loved Pamela. She’s just so much fun, well intended but terrible at communicating and that fits into the border themes of connection doesn’t it

the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God really went off on the aesthetic. both the pamphlet and the slide show sermon where so fucking good, a perfect mix of creepy, spiritual and well intended. there just enough authentic about the ideology to make you understand why people would fall for it and actually believe in what they say with just enough so overtly wrong it’s unsettling

there was little hits of the old Strex here and there, but for the most part this had no continuity with years 2 or 3 and thats kinda fine because it manages to take the themes and aesthetics of what came before and weave it into something new and amazing. the dessert bluffs and Kevin timeline is totally broken but time is literally broken so...

I loved all the digressing and meanderings of the plot to focus on other set-random Nightvale characters rather than on the main plot and it really drives home the fact that Welcome to NightVale is about NightVale as a community rather than about any one protagonist or narrative. it makes that fact that you can pick up any piece of NighVale with no prior knowledge and jump right in work all the more because everyplace is just a small one in the grand mosaic that is NighVale where every person and every world view counts and this circles back around to what I was saying about community 

and you know what lets circle back around to what I said about Carlos being willing to let Nightvale burn for his family and the lack of continuity with year three and there’s really 2 main things to say, the first being the slightly bizarre retcon to make Carlos’ otherworld stay 10 miserable years instead of 1 where he’s “just staying, not trapped” and how I think we can all agree that Carlos’ “come move to the dessert otherworld with me and abandon all your friends and family became this otherworld is so great for research and my science work babe” and the fact that they never really felt with how Cecil was straight up suicidal and deeply depressed for the later half of the year and the lack of actual resolution to what was going through Carlos’ mind when he decided to come back with absolutely no shown issue or effort, and it is so much weirder for Carlos to try to talk Cecil into moving to a place where he is actually secretly miserable

and the second thing about that is that when Carlos comes back he refers to importance of NightVale as a community rather than a place and how Cecil needs to reconnect wth the people around him and focus “on the everyone” and how Carlos really did primarily come back for Cecil and to be with Cecil and how he says that NightVale is where everyone Cecil loves lives and Carlos really have a very small protective domain of people considered his own

Cecil literally be used as a stand in for the concept of love and connection and dependability itself with Nilanjana contemplating of wanting to find her Cecil and wanting to be Cecil for someone, the emphasis on the radio tower where Nil and Darryl's relationship gets physical for the first time. It is weird to read a piece of Nightvale that doesn’t have Cecil's perspective coloring every thing and never allowing me into his mind but its kinda cool because we instead just see him as a distant pillar of love, support and community and how those are ultimately the things the book believes is universal to science and religion and how concerning that then kinda makes Cecil’s statement that he would give up all of Nightvale for Carlos, even if he would much rather not, but also how good it is that Cecil is allowed to be selfish about something when he has had so much of life decided for him, being prophesied to be the voice of the community, being a tree who’s fruit is fed to the people, who’s truck is chopped down and used to make their shelter and how he nearly did almost once give up all of Nightvale for Carlos by going the the Otherworld with him

It was great seeing Abby even if only for a second

An entire book in the Nightvale style of deeply unsettling and profound and funny is a wonderful idea, with human nature so beautifully captured with in the pages and prose

the appearance of happiness being valued above the actual emotion. teeth as a fragmented symbol, being a part of something natural being a small segment of a symbol of joy and goodness and of course that piecemeal symbol being divorced from context and being made so creepy in that isolation, teeth both as a part of smiling and a part of biting, piece in isolation that could be either joy or devouring

always love me good cult

always love killing God and the horrible thing it makes of us

always love the conflict between understanding and belief

by the way, and I think this is a good thing, Never thought that any of the devoured people where dead. it would fuck with status quo to hard if Larry or Rico where gone. made it more a mystery of how they where going to comeback than an actual threat and thats a good thing

and you know how Cecil never actually talks about Homophobia or racism or any kind of discrimination is his show? and then we step outside of his heavily edited, censored perspective and it turns out theirs still antisemitism and racism and sexism and stuff like that in Nightvale? I think it makes me appreciate Cecil more to know that his pride in his identity and his dedication to showing a mostly egalitarian world, is intact a dedicated choice that he makes about his own identity and not just a passive aspect of his environment. Cecil overall came across as a lot more put together and reliable from other perspectives than his own. I would not have expected Cecil to be able to cook or be an emotional pillar right after his nice almost died. I think he might just have really low opinion of himself and it comes through in the show.

It can be really hard to tell the difference between Cecil being dumb because he’s putting on a show for the audience and trying to get around censorship Cecil being dumb die to reeducation side affects and timeline shenanigans, and Cecil being dumb because he just is. theres so many layers of truth and deception

religion being about the community, belief and interpretation of it all even when the facts are horrible

My god Carlos would have killed so many people and 1000% believed that it was City Council hating him enough to cut off their nose to spite their face and never once stopping to question his remarkably biased assumption. He really took the conflation of hero and scientist hard and is complete willing to force the issue with his own self rightness. Baby Girl you are so deranged!!! and he’s completely head over heels for Cecil. nice to know it goes both ways

I would like to get some more Darryl and Nil feels but its 11:54 and I have work tomorrow

also catch me think that Luisa is ‘like that’ as a result of being re-educated a bit to hard after having a mental break down from watching one of her co-workers die from Strex. two scientists went missing that day and we still don’t know what happened. and least one could have died

Nils absolutely came to town later and not with the rest of the research group

Carlos really killed God with gasoline and a flare gun when It was helpless and pinned. Darryl really looses faith in God when that faith is corroborated by fact and the truth can never be as real as the fantasy. Nil and Darryl really don’t work as a couple blue they just don’t have comparable word views and Darryl winds up wth the childhood best friend he shares a life and community with. Nil hooking up with Kareem would create perfect symmetry of scientist and radio host, so they clearly won’t work because it not their story its just one their would parallel, but her trying for a Cecil stand in works thematically due to all that Cecil represents within this story and Kareem is closer to Nils world view as a acts as the rational outsider to Cecil’s world view in the podcast

Hey, hey. invisible food and how you may or may not be eating anything, about how devouring is about becoming full, finding nutrients and fulling your body and taking care of yourself. you are flesh and you take in solid sunshine to be able to move and live and choosing to take the risk of starving yourself, of putting nothing in your body when it needs something, hearing your stomach growling and contracting around imaginary food who’s taste you made up, because it would ruin the fun to find out if you were actually taking care of yourself. Jon Peters constantly insisting that he is a farmer because he is unsure if he actually is a farmer, how he lives in fear and shame that his identity, the identity passed down from his father, built with the brother he lost to a distant war, is actually a lie, that he failed at what he was supposed to do because of the facts of his environment and how he decided to make up a story, spin a fantasy rather than admit the truth. how Nightvale eats empty air and no one is willing to admit the truth of their hunger because nightvale is a town of lies, secrets and stories

contrasting that with the flesh and weight of the smiling god. how for all its lofty thoughts and belief at the end of the day its just blood and crunching teeth. what seems like a lie, a fantasy, a story is really just plain naked truth, the blood and sweat and bile that we are, how we are just lumps of grey matter draped in bone and at the end of the day we die and that Charlie Bair who wanted his ghost license so he could continue on after death, Charlie Bair who will one day pay 10000$ to have his brain scooped out and turned into a cyborg slave of the smiling god, how bodies are just parts, how his fear of death turned to eternal pain. the smiling god devours. you are food. you will die

a science that chooses lies and fantasy and a religion that chooses facts and flesh

there is no one with out the other

Kevin and Darryl and Kasper and church being a business that can’t feel like a business to all but those in charge. a cybernetics company and a church that looks like a cheap office building

community being death, love being clear so all you see is the real, practical things on the other side of it, love being what is, love being the act of going about your life, the fox eats itself, the fox kills its pack, you kill the fox, skin it and wear its face over your own, what could be fire or trees with what could be chemicals or water, what would harm one or save the other but you don’t know if friendship is toxic, destructive, mutualistic or beneficial, the many faces of a relationship 

Nils throwing up in church, in that yellow costume that hides all of what she is, that makes her just one in a crowd, you go to church hungry but she ate her fill and this becomes her salvation because it allows her to escape the pull and get away from the locked room of cultists she’s pretending to be a part of

starving and feasting. devouring and imagining

this wound up being more about the visceral then the communal

stand by for something more coherent, there is to much to say about this book

tldr; understanding of the world is fundamentally flawed due to human subjectivity so its only by opening ourselves to other world views can we find understanding

[ceilingfan5]

PQRS for the fic asks if you'd like :3 !

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

oh for sure a gardener and maybe even a forager some of the time. aw sick mushroom i cant believe ive been lost for three hours. but you guys have seen my planning docs right? like?? it's a guideline and then the fic happens to me. im along for the ride too baby

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

YEAHHH WOOOOO HOOOOO ILU PLAY WITH ME

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

i mean theres douglas adams, rick riordan, barbara park, beverly cleary, douglas evans, fucking. roald dahl in a way, authors i hate who help me shape my writing AWAY from the stink garbage, like for example my parasocial nemesis james patterson. and also on the good side, hundreds of other authors i read from the moment i could crack a book on... but in the taz fandom, we got. the mcelroys themselves. obviously honeycorvid, barry-j-blupjeans, you, wevilo707, noodylblastal, thie my beloved thie who helps me plan all my fics anymore bc we play and play and play, several other people im not thinking of at the moment but love anyway, lots of people i havent seen in the fandom for years, people from old fandoms like haikyuu, opm, welcome to nightvale ...i could keep going do you wanna sit down and analyze my fics with me come sit down and play we can annotate and everything look i have different rainbow highlighters and sticky notes. here we have a line that's a reference to junie b jones and then th-

S- i thought of one more and it's schemes and plots and shenanigans

[killerchickadee]

I hate that tumblr's in-text filtering option blocks posts if the person has that word in their username, because I tried blocking "vale" (as in TAG YOUR FUCKING NIGHTVALE POSTS) and "trek" (as in I'M TIRED OF MY WHOLE DASH BEING STAR TREK PLEASE TAG THAT TOO) and it just blocked every post by two of my mutuals.

So. Do me a solid and TAG that shit. (And if I post shit you want to filter, tell me.)

[stackthedeck]

10, 15, and 17 for the writers questions

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I mean all those short stories we read in school, absolutely fucks me up have y'all read the Veldt haunting. But for real I think Welcome to Nightvale has always stuck with me, of course the crazy premise, but the tone, the style, the earnestness within the absurd. I wanna write like that, I find myself accidentally emulating it a lot, but it never fits the same. In a completely different way, my parksborn divorce fic haunts me because I know it'll never be finished but I want it to be

I answered 15 in the last ask so I won't copy and paste it lmao

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Okay so you know the rejecting soulmates au? Yeah, originally it wasn't going to be spideypool, but spideysilk because the whole spider bride thing in its original conception is remarkably close to a soulmate. That's how the whole you get a high from touching your soulmate thing happened in the fic, I liked the idea of being somewhat physically compelled to be with your soulmate. But I really don't like the spider bride thing, not as it was originally written, I hate that it's noncon for both Peter and Cindy, I hate reminding people it exists. Unlike Johnny and Kaila, I don't think it's strictly necessary and I don't think it could have been used as a metaphor for something. I think Dan Slott created a female character he was attracted to and wanted an easy reason for Peter to sleep with her. Lazy writing. And if it was spideysilk instead of spideypool, it'd just be the boys rejecting the girls for each other, very early slash fandom not my vibe. The heartmates thing is closer to soulmates anyway, but I do constantly worry people think the fic is anti-spideypool and it's not btw, it's anti-fanon spideypool. But yeah, I gotta write a fic with Cindy because I adore her! Maybe a Cindy and Felicia fic...

[lyrker]

1 n 3 n 19 n 31 n 50 for the oc asks !!!!

THIS GOT SO LONG IM SO SORRY HAVDJVS

1.First oc ever ?

I’m gonna have to pass this one to good ol’ Leader Decrose. I REFUSE to get into the backstory of how he came about, but in this old world I never dive in anymore, he’s like ? A refuge i suppose ? A set of four characters (including my self insert) were based on cards and his was the diamond.

3.Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else ?

Odd situation but I GUESS ?? There’s a few but one I like is named Polaris and they’re like. a dying star. And their big brother figure is Cyrus, aka cc who thought the key to transitioning was dismembering yourself and using dark magic on a lifesize frakenstein doll he made.

They work in a fucked up lab but like, fucked up as in goofy as hell. They’re so silly (:

19.Introduce a character that means a lot to you and why

*SLAMS JACE IN FRONT OF YOU* I love him an insane amount.

Jace Luong was away when the apocalypse striked, lost his daughter thag he blames himself for (but he could never save her anyway), accidentally shot a guy and had to step down from his military position, more for his mental sake than anything, ended up using his best friend, and that last one sounds so bad. and it is. But it is for this Reason that makes me shake him like GRRRR I LOVE YOU. WHY DID YOU DO THAT oh yeah i’m the author loll !!

Because the point of Jace is that. He wants to help so fucking bad but he keeps Messing It Up. He is not evil and I cannot say that enough—he is very “the means justifies the ends” but that does Not mean he doesn’t feel bad for using Noah as a lab rat. When Noah came back to KILL HIM he cried because someone Came Back For Him, even if it was to kill him.

I don’t wanna take up too much space but it’s because he’s not evil just severely fucked up from losing his daughter and the life of being in a world filled with zombies that he’s trying to rush to make some sort of cure, so he can save people, so that people can live again instead of just survive, but he goes about it in a horrible way that, honestly, was probably inevitable.

He’s special to me because he’s a fuck up, but he’s genuinely really really trying. He is not a good person, though.

(also if he was a tma avatar he would be of The Lonely or Eye and that’s so silly)

31.Pick an oc and explain what their Tumblr blog would look like.

I’m going to go with RAYNE because he probably DOES use Tumblr, knowing him. His layout is green but also he’s probably using the Goth/Rave color pallet because he thinks the colors are nice and he’s a 3 am user so that dark mode comes in handy. His pfp is like, his favorite pokémon but with a ditto face.

He reblogs pokemon stuff—screenshots, fanart, memes, etc and he’s Definitely gotten into discourse abt the best game. Also he’s totally a Nightvale listener so throw in some Nightvale posts. I think he reblogs a lot of shitpost art but also just art in general.

And of course, the occasional cat photo and tumblr trademark textposts.

50.Give me the good ol’ oc talk.

I WAS GONNA TALK ABOUT NOAH & CO. BUT I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THEM so here’s the MoMOF crew, named after the lemon demon song “Mask of my Own Face”

It’s a classic high schoolers sci fi horror story, think stranger things except without mike bc i hate him (did not finish watching stranger things)

Basically, six kids, Rayn, Rowan, Alex, Ash, Zach and Winston are friends ! Yippee ! Average middle/high schoolers.

And one night, Rayn and Rowan (dating) are just hanging out. Rowan is conked the fuck out at Rayn is gaming on his DS, and then he gets a text from Alex saying “Dude, why tf are you outside it’s like 2 am ???” and Rayn is confused outta his mind.

“Wdym i’m literally at home rn.”

Alex attaches a photo, a shot looking thru the blinds of their window of what looks to be Rayn.

Rayn sends a selfie back of the Charmander he just leveled up and Rowan fast asleep.

And it Can’t be him if he just sent that photo, because the beanie he always wears was handmade by Asher himself—whos this guy ?!?

naturally, they text everyone, everyone’s yelling in a vc and was NOT asleep like they should be, and Rayn gets the FANTASTIC idea to go and see who the person is. Alex is yelling that they will personally stab Rayn if he does.

He does anyway.

and they’re too far away now for Alex to see, but they’re watching their phones and when Rayn finally approaches the other Rayn the camera flips and it is missing Half Of It’s Face and then Rayn hangs up.

And they Cannot Find Him.

So for weeks they are searching for Rayn and are scared out of their wits about Why there were Two and they told the police, but they don’t believe them all too much.

But Rowan finds him one night, at the edge of the forest. Half of his face looks tk have been torn away and his hat and coat is gone and he looks run ragged but oh. Oh no.

That’s the real Rayn.

And it turns out, the Rayn they’d been staying with recently was a clone.

And he’s babbling about something, saying they “Can’t trust Winston”

And at the same time, Rowan gets a call. And Zach sounds like he’s running for his life, because Winston cannot talk, let alone sing, and Zach heard them whispering the lyrics to a song he doesn’t know, and ran for it.

So, while they found Rayn, they now don’t know where the real Winston is. And it’s kinda all about not trusting each other but also wanting to stay together because What If Someone Else Gets Taken, and they can’t trust anyone at All because they won’t believe them, and they could be more clones.

Other stuff happens; Ash is going kinda insane, Alex, as the eldest, feels like they have to be the parent of the group because god they’re falling apart and they can’t stand to see it, Zach doesn’t know if the things he’s catching on camera are real or not, and there’s also an almost murder and also arson !! Both by the kids (:

It’s a fun world i like to play around with because the kids dynamics are all super fun <3

[artisticmenace]

SPOILERS FOR WTNV EP 110

I reccomend filtering wtnv spoilers tag if you havent already and dont want to see spoilers

WHAT THE FUCK!??! I KEEP LISTENING TO THE DEEP EMOTIONAL EPISODES DURING SCHOOL WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Although i dont know how many facts correlate between normal night vale and tiny nightvale soo. BUT STILL! ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A ONE OFF BIT BEING LORE! BUT MAN THEY WENT HARD WITH WHY HE HATES STEVE LIKE IM IN TEARS

[nicotinzwei]

November

Okay so I think I’ll try to do a monthly thing on here and just talk about my favorites but I won’t stick to the same categories each time. So heres my recap for November!

Show Twin Peaks is a long time favorite. A friend recommended this show for years because he knew I’d like it, but I hate watching new content so I put it off forever. Well he was right... So much of the media I love is inspired by Twin Peaks (Life is strange, Nightvale, SIMS 2 FOR DS). My favorite genre is very very strange town. I just started rewatching it again and I (guy who has only seen twin peaks) honestly can’t think of a show thats so dark and funny at the same time. Also the theme is amazing please listen to it while you read this. (I had to go through this paragraph and delete all the times my hands automatically typed twink peaks)

Game When I was a kid I had this game called King Arthur. Its a board game but the board talks to you. It has weird sensors that you had to put your gross sticky children fingers on and then it recognizes where on the map you are and the characters interact with you. For 2003 that was super advanced. It didn’t have much to do with the original story, you just had to colletct items and fame to win and pull the little plastic sword out of the stone. The game has been discontinued for a while but i got it second hand online. The sensors are kind of messed up so I have to press really hard with my gross stricky adult fingers but its still fun.

Drink I hate wine but I love met. This month I found it in a supermarket so i dont have to wait for the next renaissance fair to have some. I also found out that you can drink it warm and its the best thing ever, but a bit sweaty.

Clothing Me and my boyfriend are on the opposite end of the pant width scale. They only wear the tightest 2010 emo ripped jeans and i just got the biggest cargo pants I found. Heres a list of thigs that I can fit in the big pockets: bag of chips if you let the air out, small water bottle, medium popcorn, my whole forearm, met. They’re also very noisy when you walk, so you can easily conceal and noises the stuff youre trying to smuggle into the cinema could make.

Video I Emailed My Doctor 133 Times: The Crisis In the British Healthcare System by Philosophy Tube was my video of the month. Abby takes us through her struggle against the health care system during her transition. Yes, Britains system is even more fucked up but the issues stay roughly the same all around Europe. November was also Trans Day of Rememberance and this video shows some of the reasons why. Sorry for ending on that note but just squishing it between the lighter topics wouldn’t feel right and it was also part of my month.

See you after December!

[john-macnamara]

He’s the only dragon that I know of who’s committed them. You are not meeting him, nor ever going to Nightvale. They hate outsiders there too. Really everything about that town is kind of fucked.

[Axel calls John]

Please pick up please pick up-

-@agent-black-heart 🖤

[John picks up the phone immediately]

Axel?