#nice thing to agonize over for the next year+

[ileftmysoulinnorway]

What happened?

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.06 | 1.05 | 2.08

[anashins]

Room 803

Pairing: university student!Jaehyun x kindergarten teacher!reader

Genre: fake engagement au, neighbors au, age gap, hate to love, drama, romance, smut

Word Count: 26k

Warnings: reader is five years older than Jaehyun; Jaehyun doesn't treat women very nicely in the beginning; there is a lot of scheming going on; some characters have a questionable moral compass (cheating, blackmailing, lying, traditional family arrangements); there is an explicit rated scene (handjob, mc gets hand over mouth) and two suggestive ones, all of which you can skip if you want

Summary: You hate your neighbor in room 803 to the core, because his raunchy and very vocal bed activities always keep you up at night. There is no scenario in which you can ever imagine tolerating a lousy brute like him—until you get entangled in a web of lies and your neighbor comes into picture to play along. Your raunchy, lousy neighbor, who, to your surprise, fits the role of your fake fiancé very well. Almost too well.

A/N: Hi! So this is the result of ring window shopping and the Unconditional MV. I drew inspiration for the opening scene from my very own fic "Sinned" that I've first published on Aff. Leave feedback if you want <3 Happy reading! (D-482 until Jaehyun returns)

Finding a suitable apartment in the downtown of a very busy metropolis was a challenge. 

There were many things to consider during apartment hunting: the location, the price, the layout, the facilities, and also the distance to the next station depending on your commute. Nobody wanted to live in a rundown one bedroom on the 10th floor with no elevator and paper thin walls for which you still paid a fortune.

You were very lucky to have none of that.

Your apartment consisted of two rooms in a new building and was located on the 8th floor. It had three elevators, a concierge service, and even a small convenience store connected to the lobby. It cost more than a third of your salary, but with all the benefits, it was worth it. You couldn’t have thanked your co-worker enough to have passed it on to you when she had moved away, so that you could finally live closer to your workplace.

You loved your new apartment. 

But you hated your neighbors.

A neighbor on the 9th floor liked to play the drums for at least two hours a day and usually chose to do that when you had already returned home from work. A neighbor on the 7th floor liked to discuss things very heatedly with his girlfriend right by the window. Three rooms away from you on the 8th floor, there was a dog barking constantly, and somewhere else in the building, a tenant invited guests over to throw a party almost every Saturday night.

But your next-door-neighbor living in room 803 was the worst. 

“Yes, right there! Oh my… yes, yes yes!”

It was 1am on a Sunday night and you were supposed to get up in five hours, not having found even a single minute of sleep until now since the noises had been going on for an hour already at this point.

“Oh… Jaehyun! Ahhh! Oooooh!”

You pressed your pillow against your face and muffled your agonized scream in it. Almost every night, it was the same. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later, and you were able to count yourself lucky if he paused these sessions for two or three days in a row. But then they came back even stronger. And tonight was such a night. 

“Yes, oh god… oh my god! Ahhh, Jaehyun!”

You clenched your fist, raised your arm and hammered against the wall. 

But instead of slowing down, stopping or even reacting to you, you now heard his bed pound against the wall that separated your rooms, accompanied by the woman’s constant screaming.

“Shut up, it’s in the middle of the night!” you yelled.

“Get lost, we’re done already!” he yelled back.

Following his words, you then noticed the silence that had suddenly filled your room, finally allowing you to welcome your well-deserved sleep as tomorrow, another long workday awaited you. But your neighbor, of course, didn’t understand as he would start all over again tomorrow night. 

He was a university student in his senior year, his naturally dark hair constantly messy and bleached blond to the brink of extinction, always dressed in joggers and hoodies, and apparently enjoying life to the fullest. 

He was your neighbor Jeong Jaehyun, living in room 803 and your personal enemy since day one.

____

After having tried to conceal the dark circles under your eyes with heavy makeup the next morning, you were late again as you let the entry door fall closed behind you and hurried along the hallway with your heels audibly clacking over the floor. You called for the elevator by pressing the button and waited nervously, praying in silence that you would still catch the next subway.

From behind you, you heard another door getting opened and pivoting around, you spotted a woman stepping out of apartment 803. Or better say, she was thrown out as she only stood in the corridor in her underwear, another two pieces of clothing falling to her feet that had come shooting from the opened entry door. 

“I don’t even get breakfast?” she sulked as she picked up her clothes from the floor. 

“I told you not to rummage through my home.”

Jaehyun emerged by the door now, his blond hair sticking out to all sides as he seemingly tried to block her away back in. He was wearing a bathrobe and was clearly still tired too. Even though you wanted to, it was so hard for you to look away as you were curious about what was going on. 

“You’re an asshole!” the woman ranted while gathering her clothes. “I was only looking for a toothbrush!”

“You can look in your own home.” Jaehyun then dropped something else next to her on the floor while she was still crouching down. “Don’t forget your purse.”

You thought you were fast in turning away from the scene without anyone noticing, but he was faster in catching your curious eyes before you were facing them with your back. You drew in a breath and hoped he wouldn’t call you out on that, but Jaehyun wasn’t that kind of person. 

“Hey, Miss Neighbor!” he yelled. “Next time, instead of complaining… how about joining?”

Bringing your bag closer to your body, you suppressed your embarrassment and looked back again to threaten, “Next time, I won’t be yelling only, but come over with my baseball bat!”

You hated the grin he then threw at you. “So you’re into that kind of stuff, huh? Come over and we’ll see about that.”

Luckily, one of the elevators reached your floor at exactly that moment and you were quick enough to get in before Jaehyun’s one night stand could make it to the door at the same time.

The entire commute to the kindergarten, you thought about nothing else than your lack of sleep and how to finally put an end to this entire nonsense. At this point, it was ridiculous. You had been enduring that kind of shenanigans for one month already, and you were slowly getting fed up. No, actually, you had reached your wit’s end already. In the beginning, it had been all good and quiet, and from one day to another, it had suddenly started.

You didn’t know who had hurt him so much that he needed to compensate for his pain in this manner, but you’d rather he wouldn’t drag you into it. It only forced you to interact with him when you wanted to be left alone altogether to focus on your career.

“What is it?” your class’ homeroom teacher asked you as you entered the common room that morning. “You look so tired again.” 

“Ah, it’s just that I can’t seem to sleep well lately,” you tried to budge as you placed your bag on the desk. “A weird planet constellation or something.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell her the truth. What were you supposed to say anyway? That your neighbor smashed different girls so loudly every night, it kept you up for hours? People would only laugh at you.

“Try lavender tea,” she recommended to you. “This always helps me.”

“I will. Thank you.”

On your way to your respectant classroom, you were greeted by the children who had just been dropped off and getting ready to start the day.

Teaching children had always been your dream, and being an assistant teacher at a reputable private kindergarten came with few advantages in comparison to public ones, a higher salary was one of them. The hardest part was not the amount of work or the long working hours, but the strict and high-demanding parents whose individual expectations you always had to meet.

But looking into these brightly smiling faces greeting you each morning, it was all worth it.

“There is something I need to tell you,” the homeroom teacher then announced when you reached the door of your respective classroom.

“Yes? What is it?”

She kneaded her fingers in reluctance, her bag clipped between her upper arm and body. “I’m going to transfer to another school.”

“Where would you go?” you asked, perplexed. “This is Shi-A kindergarten. There are no other more prestigious kindergartens in the entire district or even country if I dare say so. Except… It’s not a kindergarten.”

She smiled and nodded. “I’m going to transfer to Shi-A elementary school. A teacher will quit by the next semester and they offered the position to me.”

You grabbed her hands, excitement written all over your face. “This is such great news! I’m so happy for you!”

“Hold on, the greatest part is yet to come.” She was five years your senior, but you saw her more like a sister than your supervisor. “I recommended you to the school board as the new homeroom teacher. The principal has agreed already, we’re currently preparing your recommendation letters.”

You were too stunned to ask more than, “Me?”

She nodded and squeezed your hands back in encouragement. “There is no one better here for this position other than you. You’re compassionate, you’re helpful and intelligent. The kids love you and rely on you. You’re finished being an assistant only, I can tell. And the principal as well.” 

“Me, as a homeroom teacher?” It sounded like a faraway dream.

“Miss!” A girl from your class, Soah, tugged on your coattail. She was holding something out to you. A yellow flower. “This is for you! I just plucked it, it was the prettiest on the playground!”

You took the flower into your hand and thanked her.

“Like I said,” the homeroom teacher commented with a wink as you entered the classroom, “there is no one better for this position other than you.”

____

“Ahhh, yes!! Jaehyun, Jaehyun!”

BAM BAM BAM

“I swear to god, Jeong Jaehyun, it’s 2am now, I will come for you!”

You jumped out of your bed, only dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms and a simple t-shirt, not bothering about throwing your bathrobe on or slipping into a pair of shoes at this point. You would only go to Jaehyun’s door and ring the bell to interrupt whatever they were doing right now.

“If I’m not getting any sleep, you’re not getting nutted either!”

Tomorrow, you had a very important meeting with the school board members and wanted to be well rested. So at least, for tonight only, you had hoped to get a few more hours of sleep. You had studied possible questions and answers for days by now and were not only tired, but also mentally exhausted.

But, of course, a reckless university student like Jaehyun wouldn’t understand.

When you reached your entrance door, just about to exit your apartment, you halted mid-motion, interrupted by a sound you had never heard before in this apartment building.

The fire alarm.

You were petrified at first, unsure how to react in such a situation as your mind wasn’t able to grasp the entire meaning yet. As it slowly sank down on you that it most likely meant danger as the alarm hadn’t subsided by now, you reacted very fast by finally opening the door and looking to your left and right.

At first, nothing happened, and you questioned whether your neighbors would react according to emergency plans. But then, one door after another opened on your floor and out stormed the tenants, passing by you and running down the stairs like their lives depended on it.

“Damn it!” you cursed and left your apartment the next moment as well, thinking about all your electronics and important papers that were still inside. 

But in kindergarten, you also regularly taught the children how to behave during a fire alarm, and the first and most important thing was to drop everything and get the hell out of the building. So when you were about to run down the stairs, you remembered that there was one person who hadn’t come out of their apartment yet.

“Hey!” you hammered against Jaehyun’s door after you had returned. “Hey! It’s a fire alarm! Can’t you hear?!”

Your own voice didn’t drown out the signal tone, but you tried nonetheless - to no avail. Jaehyun and whoever was with him wouldn’t come out.

“Miss, what are you still doing here?” The middle-aged man whose dog was always barking on your floor approached you with his pet. “We need to leave! Who knows where the fire has spread already!”

“But Jae-”

But the man just grabbed you by your hand and dragged you along the corridor, his strength too overpowering for you to resist. Even with your head turned and your eyes fixated on Jaehyun’s door, you couldn’t spot him coming out.

Inwardly, you just prayed that he perhaps had reacted fast and left already, but as all the residents slowly gathered in the front yard one by one, you couldn’t recognize Jaehyun among the people storming out of the lobby.

You didn’t know why you cared about that brute, just enough to look out for him.

Perhaps, your job as a teacher had made you sensitive to your surroundings and responsible for the people around you regardless of age and behaviour. You wanted everyone around you to be safe and sound, and that didn’t apply to children only.

“Where are you?” you muttered more to yourself as you got on your bare tiptoes and looked over the crowd as the last people were leaving the building, still no sign of Jaehyun.

“Looking for someone?”

“Oh my-!” you called out and stumbled backwards against the person that had just addressed you.

When you turned around, Jaehyun was standing in front of you, fully dressed in checkered pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt, his blond hair reflecting the light from the street lamp. So he had really made it out without you noticing, even after getting dressed. God knew how this had been even possible.

“Mrs. Choi,” you dodged the topic quickly. “I haven’t seen her yet.”

Jaehyun pointed at someone only two meters away from you, an elderly lady from the same floor. “There she is.”

“Ah, I see. Thank god.”

You buried your hands deep into the pockets of your pajama pants and stepped from one foot on another to warm them up a bit. You indeed had left your slippers behind in a hurry and had only noticed when it was already too late, so your toes were now cold and your soles dirty.

“Here.” Jaehyun slid out of his slippers and then stood next to you with naked feet. “Take them.”

“I don’t need them.”

“Look, your toes are slowly turning blue, and even if it’s still warm during the day, at night it’s already chilly since we almost have October already. So take them.”

You crossed your arms to warm yourself up a little more and, with much hesitation though, slid your feet into Jaehyun’s slippers. They were way too big and didn’t protect your feet from the cool breeze, but at least you didn’t need to stand on the cold and dirty asphalt anymore.

“Thank you,” you said.

Jaehyun raised his head up to the building complex. “It doesn’t seem like there is a huge fire anywhere, otherwise there would be fumes coming out of an apartment already.”

Red and blue light caught your both’s attention that was coming from the firetruck currently pulling up into the lane. Different firefighters got ready and stormed into the building in full attire, but Jaehyun was right. You couldn’t detect a fire either.

“Maybe it was only a small one and they managed to put it out already. Or someone was illegally smoking inside the apartment and the detector still picked up the fumes.”

“Whoever that was, they robbed me of a night’s fun.”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, isn’t that unfortunate? If they hadn’t done that, then I would have come for you myself, because I have an important interview tomorrow. But unfortunately, this situation is worse. God knows when we can return to our homes.”

“What interview? Tomorrow is Sunday.”

“For my promotion, it’s in the headquarters. I want to be a homeroom teacher, and in my kindergarten, there is no such thing as weekends.”

“Sounds annoying,” Jaehyun commented.

You flashed your eyes at him. “Of course, for someone who sleeps until midday and whose only aim it is to smash different women every night, this sounds annoying. But I’m a full grown adult with a real job, and if only you knew about how hard it is, you wouldn’t be so reckless with your noises at two in the morning!”

For the break of a second, you had hoped that you could possibly hold a normal conversation with Jaehyun. That he wasn’t that much of a prick, that you could explain yourself and he would understand your standpoint. But he was nothing other than your expected player, and you had had enough of them during your own time in university.

You then fled to the very front of the crowd right by the lobby without Jaehyun following you, and luckily, not much later, the firefighters declared the building safe. The alarm had been set off on the fourth floor by the partying tenant and his guests who had indeed ignored the rules and smoked inside.

You hurried inside along with the other residents, taking the stairs instead of the elevator to linger around long enough until you weighed yourself in safety from Jaehyun’s presence. 

You only returned much later to your apartment than all the others and were back in bed by 4am without having to face your next-door-neighbor again. Too late to get enough sleep still after all.

_____

“We are very pleased with your answers so far, miss.”

“Thank you so much, sir.”

You bowed in your seat, all the weight from the past days getting lifted off your shoulders. Despite the night before being a total chaos and you running on three hours of sleep only, you had made it on time to the interview and had even been able to revise everything during your commute.

Screw Jaehyun, you were great on your own.

“But there is one thing we’re concerned about,” the director said.

As you looked up, you perceived how nervously he was fidgeting in his seat as were the other board members, throwing some meaningful glances at each other. You knew it had been too easy until now. A woman in her late twenties who had only been teaching for three years overall, becoming a homeroom teacher at this prestigious kindergarten that quickly? There was always a catch.

“We’re concerned the students’ parents might not be content with our choice if we decide to put you in that position.”

“What could they be discontent about?” you asked as the director showed reluctance to continue. “I have my degrees, the experience, as well as the homeroom teacher’s and the kindergarten principal’s recommendation letters. With all respect, I am very qualified for this position, sir.”

“We are not concerned about your qualifications, miss.” He paused. “But about your living circumstances.”

You raised a brow. “My… living circumstances?”

“You’re a young woman living alone, who’s also unmarried,” a board member then raised his voice to take the pressure off the director. For sure, they had talked about this in private before. This felt like an ambush. “This is not something that is likely to be accepted among the childrens’ parents as they put great value in traditional family arrangements. As you know, it’s one of the pillars our schools are based on: tradition.”

You scoffed inwardly, but remained expressionless on the outside. Luckily, you knew how to deal with ambushes. You had so much to say about what they viewed as traditional family arrangements, but you loved it here and didn’t want to lose the job on the spot, so you kept your lips sealed and responded as politely as possible,

“I don’t know why my living arrangements would be any parents’ concern. If I can afford a nice apartment close to the kindergarten where I spend many hours preparing everything for their children to receive the absolute best education, shouldn’t that speak for my living arrangement? I also put great value on tradition. Just because I’m not married yet, doesn’t mean I never want to or won’t get married one day. Everyone has their own timeline and this should not block my career.”

“We’re aware about that, miss. But as you might also know, the parents have a fundamental right of co-determination in our schools.”

“Because since it’s a private institution, they finance everything,” you wanted to interrupt, but kept that sentence to yourself only. Instead, you said, “I dedicate all my time and passion to cater to their children. I am one of the firsts to enter and leave the kindergarten, even working more from home. I volunteer to teach on the weekends and during semester breaks. Does this not count more than the fact that I’m an unmarried woman who’s living alone?”

You were pushing boundaries by demanding an answer, you knew that, but it was nothing very reputable board members couldn’t rationally reply to. The fact that they didn’t, only proved that you were right and they were mere cowards under the invisible whiplash of wealthy parents. Without them and their money, their schools’ reputation wouldn’t be where it was now.

“We can’t change the parents’ opinions, miss,” the director eventually spoke up, retreating into a defending mode and putting the blame entirely on the parents instead of standing up for you, an assistant he had approved of hiring two years ago. Again, such cowards. “We will forward your documents and records to them, but that means a background check as well. And, if I may be frank, I can tell that you’re going to get ruled out solely for that reason.”

“Then change it,” you interrupted him. “Change my status to engaged. This is what they want, right?”

“Miss… we cannot counterfeit your documents.”

“They won’t be counterfeited, because it’s true,” you said with a confident voice. “I wanted to keep my private life private, at least until I get officially married. But I have no choice now to announce it before I actually wanted to. Yes, I am engaged and we’re going to get married soon.”

All the board members seemed to be taken aback by your sudden confessions. Perhaps, their reaction was genuine. Perhaps, they also knew you were lying. But what proof would they have to actually ascribe this lie to you? They threw meaningful gazes at each other again, unsure of what to make of this change in the situation. 

“Very well, miss.” The director eventually spoke up and nodded. “I will mention this in your documents and you can hand in a copy of your marriage certificate later when the papers are through.”

“But is this enough time, sir? It has to be decided within two months, the principal told me. I don’t know whether it will be enough time since the engagement is still new and we haven’t set a fixed date yet.”

“That’s true. If you want to convince the parents of your skills and background, I would recommend you to organize the school festival together with them. Volunteer for an activity in which your fiancé can participate as well and show them what a great couple you are. When they’re convinced, the paperwork will only be formalities.”

You swore you saw one corner of his lip tug up, either in malicious glee or in pure relief. Did he know?

“I understand, sir.” You bowed deeply. “Thank you very much.”

“And one last thing… You can start wearing your engagement ring from now if you don’t want to make a huge announcement. It’s more convincing.”

Oh, he knew. But he couldn’t care less as long as you didn’t get him in hot waters.

You nodded in understanding. “Yes, sir.”

On your way home, you stopped by a jeweler and picked out a nice, but cheap ring, a replica of your own dream ring, just beautiful and sparkly enough to get this lie through.

____

You had dedicated your entire life to this kindergarten, not only neglecting your family along the way, but also your friends. 

In fact you hadn’t talked or even answered your friends in months. You didn’t know what they were up to nowadays except for what they were giving away through status updates in your texting app. You scrolled through your contacts in the messenger, but sighed whenever one of the rare male names popped up. Some of them were married already, two had children.

They had all been your friends in university, but you hadn’t talked to any of them in an embarrassingly long time, so there was no one you could ask. How awkward must that be for someone to suddenly get a message about going along with a fake engagement from an old classmate they hadn’t seen in years?

“I’m so screwed!” you groaned and stretched out in your bed, throwing your phone aside. “Oh god, why!”

Perhaps, it was time to look for a new job, even though you loved the children and Shi-A kindergarten was the best reference for your CV. There was no coming back from all your lies anyway. Until now, you couldn’t quite grasp what had brought you to tell them what they wanted to hear. You should have just accepted their answer and moved on. Why did you have to be so impulsive at times, needing to get what you wanted right away?

People did separate before their wedding, that was possible, so there was a way out after all. You could stay an assistant teacher for several more years, there was nothing wrong with it. But the shame and pity you would need to deal with afterwards… 

The next moment, you sat up, your train of thoughts getting interrupted by the door bell, and the person behind the entrance was someone you hadn’t expected that day as he had never come over before.

“My shoes.”

“Huh?”

“My shoes.” A barefooted, messy blond-haired Jaehyun pointed at the shoe rack behind you. “You still have them.”

“Ah, right.” You quickly grabbed them and dropped the pair in front of his naked feet. “Here.”

But Jaehyun didn’t slip in right away. Instead, he questioned, “How did it go?”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Did what go?”

“The interview.”

You growled and your tongue loosened over the newly awakened stress, “Apparently, they don’t want a young, unmarried woman, who’s also living alone, teaching their children, so it did not go very well. It went all downhill when I said that I was going to get married soon to save my promotion. They invited my fake fiancé to the kindergarten to help out at the festival so that the parents get a chance to bond with him.”

“So you’re getting married?” He sounded as perplexed as the board members. Why was it such a big deal to imagine you getting married anyway?

“No! I’m not! That’s the catch. Now I have to get a fake fiancé from somewhere.”

“Hm. So you lied.”

“A bit.”

“Hm. Doesn’t sound like a bit of lying in my book.”

“I know, okay? Thanks for pointing it out.”

You didn’t know why you had told him all that. Perhaps, among the path you had chosen for yourself, you had lost all your friends and now had no one you could talk to whenever you faced a problem. He was just there, at the right moment.

“Really sucks for you.” Jaehyun shrugged and slipped into his shoes. He then turned around and disappeared back into his apartment.

You could have also talked to a wall.

____

“You never told me that you were engaged! And what an amazing ring with such a big diamond!” Your homeroom teacher jumped up and down in excitement as you two made your way to the entrance gate in the late evening at the same time as club activities ended. “I didn't even know you had a boyfriend! All this time you were keeping it a secret!”

“It has spread quite fast, hasn’t it?” you laughed out shyly.

“Totally! Is he going to help out during the school festival? My theater class still needs volunteers and your fiancé can join as well.”

“Sure,” you lied. “I can’t promise anything for him though, because he’s so busy, but he’ll try.”

“Has he ever been here though?” she asked. “Have we ever seen him?”

“No, he hasn’t.”

She pursed her lips. “Then who’s that?”

“Who’s what?”

She stopped in her tracks and pointed at the entrance gate. “The dark haired man standing there who clearly doesn’t look like he’s here to pick up a child since he’s only staring at you.”

Shifting your head, you spotted your neighbor standing right by the gate. You had barely recognized him, because the light blond hair was gone and now dyed dark. No way! What was he doing here? And how was he looking?

“It’s him, isn’t it? Hello!”

“Hey!” You grabbed her arm and pulled it down. “It’s just… he’s an introvert. Wait here, please.”

With hurried steps, you approached Jaehyun who didn’t break eye contact along the way. Surprisingly, he was dressed business casual today, in a pair of slacks and a button up. In combination with his new hair color and the strands neatly combed aside, he looked… decently handsome. It was not like he hadn’t been attractive before, that was a thought you had always tried to push away. But now it was like a fact you couldn’t run away from any longer.

You wondered whether there was a reason. Maybe, he had a date set for later. Good for him to take the women finally out and not always straight to home. Good for him to have finally found a woman who didn’t put up with his former appearance.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him without a greeting. “This is my workplace, you can’t just appear out of nowhere!” Your gaze scanned the environment and you could tell that you two had already caught a few parents’ attention, so your expression softened. “What is it?”

“I locked myself out of my apartment,” he explained. “I kind of typed the code wrong into the system and cannot get inside anymore. So I need to open the door from the inside.”

“And how is that exactly my problem?”

“I need to crawl out of your window to get into my apartment since I’ve left it open anyway.”

You frowned. “Are you nuts? Just go to the lobby and let them call the landlord!”

“There was no one there.”

“There is always someone there!”

He heaved up his shoulders. “Maybe an emergency.”

“Then use your phone!”

“I left it in my room.”

“And that’s why you came all the way here instead of asking another neighbor?”

“I thought since I’m locked out anyway, I can just come here instead of waiting. I knew where the kindergarten was located because of an envelope that had once found its way into my mailbox by accident. And I didn’t know whether you’d return directly after finishing classes or whether you’d have a date with your imaginary fiancé.” He suppressed a chuckle. “Or other imaginary friends.”

“You find that funny, right?” you chided. “But this is the job of my life. This is my life.”

“Alright.” He lifted his hands up in defense. “Can we just go home then?”

“Yeah, let me just…”

“Excuse me, you’re her fiancé, right?” Your homeroom teacher had suddenly popped up next to you, apparently too excited to be kept waiting around. “I’m sorry to butt in, but I’m so happy to finally meet you, because none of us have known about you until today! She’s so secretive!”

Perhaps, because there was absolutely nothing you could tell about your boring life. And even if, Jaehyun surely was not included! You wanted to clear up this misunderstanding when suddenly, you realized that this was your only chance to go with your lie.

He was a man. 

And he was here. 

You had no other option.

There would not be another chance this easy.

You should thank the heavens that today was the day he had decided to leave his bleached hair and joggers at home.

“That’s true!” you then declared and linked arms with Jaehyun. “He came here today to pick me up since I’ve already come forward with the truth. I’m sorry that I haven’t introduced you sooner. This is Jeong Jaehyun.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Jeong!”

You pinched his arm and felt how he sucked in a rush of air. Given he knew the context, he understood. You only prayed to the heavens again that he would just go with it. The logistics of this all, you would figure out only later.

“Nice to meet you too! I’ve already heard so much about you,” Jaehyun greeted back politely.

You didn’t believe your ears. Even if you had hoped so, you hadn’t actually thought that he would play your imaginary fiancé so well from the spot. 

“I already suggested that you volunteer in my theater group for the school festival, but she said you’re always so busy. Nonetheless, I still hope for you to step by every now and then, or at least come by on the day of the festival itself. That would be awesome as many of the teachers’ families and the childrens’ families are also visiting. It’s a chance to get to know each other.”

Jaehyun smiled broadly. “Of course I will help out as well, that’s a given. I’ll make time, no worries.”

“Such a polite and kind man!” Your homeroom teacher beamed at you. “Where have you been hiding him all this time?”

That was a question you were asking yourself now as well. 

____

“Nice furniture,” Jaehyun commented when you walked into your apartment. “But a bit too tacky for my taste.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion on my interior. I still don’t know why you just didn’t refer to the lobbyist who’s already back by now.” 

“Calling the landlord and setting a new code is just too much hassle and takes up too much time. This way, it’s quicker.”

You opened the window in your bedroom and dragged Jaehyun across the carpet by his arm. “Then, get out.”

“When should I be ready?” he asked instead and turned to you.

“Be ready for what?” You blinked in puzzlement.

“The theater activity.”

“There is no way I’m going to let you join me in school!” you quickly defied him. “You’re… loud, rude and reckless! Only this one time was enough, there were enough witnesses to prove your existence.”

Jaehyun cleared his throat. “In your teacher’s words, I’m a very polite and kind man.”

“Only to authorities, apparently.”

“I can be very nice!”

“But not to me.”

“You’ve never given me a reason to be nice to you.”

You halted. “And the women you throw out every morning? You’re not nice to them either.”

“That’s a whole other story. I only throw out the rude ones, sometimes they get breakfast.”

You snorted when he grinned. “What’s differentiating me from them?” 

“They’re an obligation. You’re a choice.”

“So you’ve chosen to be mean to me?”

“No.” Jaehyun climbed on the window sill. “I’ve chosen to act according to what you’re giving me. Have you ever been nice to me at all? All you’ve ever done was hammering against my wall and ignoring me whenever our paths cross. That’s not very nice. Today, I’ve chosen to do something nice for you. Can I expect the same from you? I’m not quite sure.”

And off he went, out of the window, leaving you behind with much food for thought over what had happened since you had moved in. With slow steps, you returned to your living room, taking a seat on the couch. You stared into nothingness, pondering over Jaehyun’s words thoroughly. 

What did you know about him, actually? Not very much, if anything at all. Where you had spoken to your other neighbors almost in an instant upon moving in, you had never given Jaehyun a chance to properly introduce himself. You had quickly written him off as a player who you didn’t want to get involved with. What could you have in common anyway since he was so much younger?

But as a preschool teacher, you knew how dangerous it was to hold such prejudices towards people you didn’t know. This wasn’t your philosophy. 

So two hours later, you stood in front of Jaehyun’s door. It was past 9pm already, but you had to do the deeds today, otherwise you were afraid that all courage would leave your body by the end of the day.

“What is it?!” Jaehyun barked, then stopped. “Oh, it’s you.”

You held out the plate in front of him, still not having gotten used to the dark hair. “Here.”

He raised his brows, looking at a simple chocolate cake. “What’s this?”

“A peace offer.”

You didn’t dare to look him in the face, but his hand finally moved and clasped around the plate, touching yours in the process. With a slight smile on his face that you encountered when you lifted your head, Jaehyun took the cake.

“Peace offer accepted. So, when’s the start?” 

You inhaled deeply. “Wednesday.”

“I’ll be there.”

“But why?” you still wanted to know. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I think there might be something you can give me in return.”

Of course, there was always a catch. “And what would that be?”

Jaehyun made a meaningful pause. “Tutoring lessons.”

You nearly laughed out loud. “I teach kindergarteners, not university students. I mean, yes I studied with the focus on elementary school, but higher education is not my forte.”

“Isn’t it the same? Teaching people, who don’t know stuff, stuff they must know?”

“I don’t even know your major, your courses! How am I supposed to help you?”

“I’ll send you my sheets beforehand and you can teach me to understand the essence of them.”

You stood there, totally flabbergasted as you couldn’t quite wrap your head around the situation yet. “And that’s all that you want?”

He nodded. “That’s all.”

“It’s not on par with what you offer to me.”

He shrugged. “For me, it is.”

You didn’t know why, but you quite didn’t believe him fully. Either he bore some ulterior motives or he was so bad in university that he was on the brink of failing his classes anyway. In regard to his lifestyle, you could very well imagine the latter. Why not hire a professional tutor then? What was the point of all this?

“Fine,” you then gave in. “When do we start?”

“Tomorrow right away. I’ll send you the stuff.” 

You walked out of the door, but not before shifting around to him one last time. “Your new hair color… I like it. It suits you. Though I was used to always seeing your hair first before your face.”

“I still have to get used to it as well.”

“Why did you dye it?”

“I thought it was time for a change.” Suddenly, his gaze fell on your finger. “That’s the ring I have supposedly given you? I should know about it.”

“Princess cut, two carats. Or so it seems.” You held out your hand and looked at the piece of jewelry. “Actually, it’s my dream ring, but it’s not real, just a cheap replica. I hope nobody will notice though as they surely wear diamonds much bigger than that.”

“Women… such an enigma. I never understood why they pay so much attention to an expensive engagement ring anyway. Triple the amount of the man’s salary it should be, no?”

“First, that kind of scale is already dated. Second, I share your opinion. But…” You were about to say something very private, but you felt safe enough to do it at that moment, “I haven't grown up being able to afford nice things myself let alone getting these kinds of things gifted. So the thought of me being so important to someone to invest in valuable jewelry for me means very much.”

“I see.”

He nodded acknowledgement and let you leave.

____

According to his papers, Jaehyun was studying business management. 

You didn’t know much about the subject, but the papers were quite clear with what they wanted their students to grasp, and as it was indeed your job to teach even preschoolers exactly how to study the material, you didn’t see a reason as to why it would be different with your grown up neighbor.

Of course, upon entering his apartment for the first time, you had also scanned the entire space that was exactly like yours in the layout, only mirrored. Against your expectations, he was furnished and equipped quite comfortably and modernly, not too spartanic as you had expected from a young man his age. The door to his bedroom was closed though. Too bad, you were curious about that one the most.

“That’s quite a delicious cake!” Jaehyun praised as he sat down next to you at the table, the plate with the slice in front of him. “You’re a good baker, I have to admit.”

“Having to participate in many kindergarten events, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

“Say.” Jaehyun put his fork back on the plate and leaned in to you. “Why do you love this job so much? Aren’t you annoyed by the children? The parents? The other teachers? Having people around you all day long?”

You flipped through his papers, marking the passages you deemed worth memorizing. “Of course it gets stressful and annoying when, for example, children won’t listen, when you can’t meet the parents expectations or when the teachers put so much pressure on you. But…” A smile spread across your face that Jaehyun still encountered even though you had kept your head low. “... the reward, when they all succeed in the end, is all worth it.”

“Hm.” He kept staring at you, and his unwavering gaze made you flush a little. “Sounds legit for someone like you who loves her job so much, she’s willing to put up with a fake engagement.”

“I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am now,” you explained to him with a calm voice. “I don’t want to throw everything away because I’m an unmarried woman.”

“What’s so bad about being an unmarried woman?”

You hadn’t expected such a question. “Nothing, honestly. It just doesn’t meet their norm.”

“And when it’s all done… What will you tell them? That your fiancé left you at the altar? That you broke off your engagement?”

“By then, if you play along, I will have the job already. And yes, then I will then tell them exactly that. That we’ve broken up.”

“I see.” Jaehyun leaned back, giving you room to breathe again. “Well, if you think so.”

“Can we start with your studies now?” you asked. “We’re not only here for you to question me.”

“Of course.” Jaehyun took the fork in his hand again and broke a piece off the cake that he then led to his mouth. “Go on, what should I know?”

In the two hours you were teaching your neighbor, you came to the conclusion that there was no difference between being his teacher or one to your kindergarteners. Even though Jaehyun was a university student, you could maintain your teaching methods despite having a different subject at the base.

“I’m done!” Jaehyun raised his arms and stretched himself. “Finally!”

You closed the books and jumped out of your seat. “It’s almost 11pm already! I need to go, catching up on some sleep.”

“Ah yeah, my visitor will also be here soon, so you better hurry.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Can you please stay a bit calmer tonight for me to sleep in peace?”

He winked jokingly. “As I said, you can always join. But today, I will, as a thank you for your tutoring lesson.”

He didn’t keep his promise.

____

“Miss, how do I look?” A little boy from the parallel group appeared next to you, dressed as an apple tree. His expression radiated insecurity, but you remembered very well how pumped he had been about finally landing a role in the play. “The others are all laughing at me.”

You crouched down and took the boy’s tiny hands into yours. It was Wednesday, so this was another evening dedicated to the preparations for the festival. His costume consisted of brown pants and a green shirt. He also wore a headgear that framed his face from which apples made of polystyrene were hanging. 

“You look amazing! Don’t listen to others. Your role is very much important. And you know why the apple tree is so important in the play?” He shook his head and you squeezed his tiny fingers in encouragement. “Because you’re the only apple tree. Without you, we wouldn’t even be able to perform. So regardless of what the others say, remember that you’re one of a kind, that you’re unique and very important. Okay?”

Now, a bright smile spread across his face. “Okay!”

You arose from your crouching position and turned around to let your eyes scan the hall. Then, you spotted your neighbor for whom you had waited already. And he was not alone.

With fast steps, you descended from the stage and nervously approached Jaehyun who was currently having a seemingly nice chat with a parent. And not any parent as a matter of fact. In front of him stood Shi-A schools’ main investor, and you hadn’t prepared him for that kind of situation! 

You had aged Jaehyun up to one year your senior and had also come up with a background story both of you agreed on was believable enough. Of course Jaehyun couldn’t be a student in front of these successful parents who were all directors, doctors and builders. You had first suggested for him to be a lawyer, but, in his words, Jaehyun didn’t want to be “such a stuck up suit-wearer”.

“Ah, miss, there you are!” Mr. Nam, Soah’s father and the owner of several bank branches across the country, welcomed you as you joined their chat and came to a halt next to Jaehyun. “I’m so disappointed that I haven’t gotten to meet your fiancé much sooner! Such a charming and smart man!”

You looked at Jaehyun who had dressed up in suit trousers and a white button up again, his hair neatly slicked back with only one strand falling into his face. His entire presence radiated a successful businessman, inferior to no one. You were quite impressed, he looked very much believable. And insanely handsome.

“Mr. Nam, it’s so good to see you! Yes, my fiancé is usually really busy, so I’m glad he was able to make time today to help out with the preparations for the festival,” you explained. 

“Of course.” Mr. Nam nodded. “I was only able to come today, because I canceled a meeting to see my precious Soah. I know what it’s like to run a business and having to miss important school events, so I talked about that with your fiancé. I didn’t know he was a COO!”

You tried to hide your surprise and forced a smile. Jaehyun had chosen to be involved in running a business according to his major, the age old enough to be COO, but not CEO yet. You just hoped he knew what he was talking about with the professionals, being so close to graduation.

“You know, honey,” Jaehyun addressed you, and it made your skin crawl how he used this pet name for lovers, “Mr. Nam invited us to his getaway in the countryside in two weeks.”

The middle-aged man nodded. “Mr. Jeong and I have instantly bonded over our occupations and our weekend getaway will help him form connections. Several friends of mine as well as parents of this school and other business partners will be present too. Your fiancé is still fairly young and new to the business as a COO, but I’m always pleased to show the next generation their way. It will be a great chance for you both.”

You couldn’t believe what you had just heard. Two years of working at this school and no parent had ever invited you anywhere. But it had taken Jaehyun literally five minutes only to get invited on a weekend getaway with the main investor! 

This was such a big chance for you to strengthen the bond with the most influential parents and investors, and show them that you were indeed capable of doing this job right - with and certainly without a man. 

“Of course we will join, Mr. Nam!” You bowed to him. “We’re very grateful to have received this invitation.”

Mr. Nam went on with his duty of helping his daughter and Jaehyun followed you to the stage. 

“You know that it’s not going to be easy during that weekend, right?” 

“Yes, but I need this weekend. If they see that I fit in, they will acknowledge me as a capable teacher, even without a marriage certificate. This will be the best opportunity to win their favor and then play the broken hearted teacher who they will all sympathize with after my breakup. Only Mr. and Mrs. Nam’s approval is enough, and every other parent will do as they say, that’s how powerful they are.”

“And what does being a capable teacher have anything to do with you being married or not?” he genuinely wanted to know. “You said there was nothing wrong with you being an unmarried woman living alone.”

You stopped in your tracks and smiled crookedly. “Apparently, they pay much attention to tradition, I told you already. And an unmarried woman living alone does not live up to their expectations since they’re very conservative. But I’m sure I can prove to them-”

“This is bullshit and you know it,” Jaehyun interrupted you dryly. “If I were a parent, I would favor an unmarried woman, who is a great person herself, to teach my children rather than someone trapped in a loveless marriage, who passes on her misery to her students.”

“You’re not wrong, but what can I do? It is how it is.” You shrugged. “Are you saying you’re not with me in this now?”

“Of course I still am if you also still want it. But as I said, it’s not going to be easy.”

“Why? It’s going smooth now as well.”

Jaehyun cleared his throat. “Well… we truly have to act like a couple, you know, since it’s a private setting. With all the pet names, skinship and stuff, honey.”

Again, you cringed. “Shut up, Jaehyun, it’s not that deep.”

He laughed. “If you say so…”

You two approached the stage, stepped on the platform and immediately had a group of boys run towards you. 

“Mister, you’re so tall,” one of them said to Jaehyun. “Can you help us hang these lights up please?”

“Of course!” Jaehyun agreed with genuine joy. “Where do you need them?”

“Over there, please!”

He rolled his white sleeves up his elbows in preparation. With much caution, Jaehyun took the string of lights they had been holding out to him into his own hands and attached them shortly over his head to the background of the stage.

“You wanna do this yourselves?” he then asked the boys as they came over to him with another chain of colorful lights.

“But we’re too short!”

“Not anymore now!” Jaehyun got on his knees and lifted one of the boys up in the air. “You’re tall enough now?”

The boy giggled and pumped his fist. “A bit higher, mister, please!”

“Alright!”

Jaehyun laughed along with them and stretched out his arms until the boy could reach the marked spots in the background. The child was effortlessly able to attach the lights onto where they belonged before Jaehyun set him back on the floor.

“Thank you, mister!”

You watched the scene with a smile, unknowingly. The fact that Jaehyun was this good with children had been a secret to you too, until now.

Perhaps, he wasn’t always your prick of a neighbor and there was much more to him than his nocturnal activities. Somehow, this piqued your interest and you wanted to get to know more about him in all sincerity.

____

“So, you got the gist of it, right?”

Jaehyun nodded. “Enough for me to not flunk the exam this time again.”

“Alright.” You snapped the book shut and stretched yourself. “I’ll get going now then.”

“Are you hungry?” Jaehyun asked instead when you made a move to raise from the chair. “It’s past 9 already and I’m hella hungry.”

“Well… I haven’t eaten anything since lunch and just wanted to go to the convenience store to grab a quick bite.”

“I’ll prepare dinner.”

It was a subtle invitation, and although he didn’t speak it out, he wanted you to stay for a reason you didn’t quite understand yet. Reluctant at first, you wiggled in your seat, unsure of what to do. But Jaehyun didn’t leave you much room for decision as he already opened the refrigerator and took out a sealed pack of chicken.

“Should I help you?” you asked and jumped up, eager to put this awkwardness behind you.

“Yeah, you can cut the vegetables. They’re in the fridge, I just put them in there just in case, so they’re not frozen yet.”

“Okay.”

When you opened the fridge, you spotted the cake you had given to him, only halfway eaten and frozen. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, and surely not openly, but it kind of hurt you. Yet, you couldn’t bite down a snarky remark.

“You could have just told me the truth instead of lying… that it doesn’t taste good.” 

Jaehyun looked up from the chicken he was currently washing, his brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Your disappointment broke through your facade eventually. “The cake. It’s still there.”

With careful deliberation, Jaehyun put the meat on a cutting board and took out a knife. “Because I don’t want to share it.”

“What?”

“I can’t eat too much sugar at once. So one, at the most two, slices of cake a day does suffice. I used to grind my teeth in my sleep, so they’re very sensitive now and hurt when I eat too many sweets at once.”

“Oh, it’s like that.” You paused. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware of this problem…” Again, it dawned on you that you knew absolutely nothing about Jaehyun. If you had known he wasn’t able to eat an entire cake within a few days, then you would have brought something else. “But you’ve had enough visitors over the past couple of days to share it with them, you don’t have to trudge through eating it to the last bites, you know.”

“But I want to!” he then defended himself and turned around to you. “I want to eat it all by myself, I don’t want to share it with anyone else what you’ve made only for me.”

This was not a joke, nor a mocking comment. He meant it in all honesty. You just had no idea why. 

“Okay.” You closed the door to the fridge with the vegetables in your hand now. “I’ll help you cut the ingredients. But we should probably hurry before your visitor comes, right?”

You didn’t want to sound mean by mentioning this topic, but the syllables fell from your lips much sharper than you had intended. It was none of your business anyway, but as you took the leek into your hands, you realized that you couldn’t help but to be curious about his lifestyle.

He shrugged. “It’s still a few hours, we’ll be fine.”

“But every night a different woman? Why don’t you get a girlfriend? Don’t misunderstand me, I just genuinely want to know.”

Jaehyun didn’t even bother thinking about coming up with a morally right answer. “I did have a girlfriend.”

“And?”

“It sucked.”

“Then you just didn’t have the right girlfriend for you.”

“We were together for three years,” he clarified and proceeded to cut the chicken while you did the same with the leek.

“Did she cheat on you?” 

“No. She stole all my money, lied about it and disappeared from my life from one day to another.”

“Holy-” You swallowed the rest of the sentence, your cutting hand now pausing too.

“My parents weren’t very fond of her from the beginning and told me to cut ties with her as she wasn’t the ideal daughter-in-law for them anyway. But I was a rebel and wanted to date whoever I wanted just because I could. She only used me as a money machine, and everyone knew - except for me as I was in denial. The me back then was so blind and so in love. I did everything for her, and in the end, I was left alone, robbed of my money and unfavored by my parents.”

You didn’t know what to say as you hadn’t expected such an honest conversation with him. The tough and cool Jaehyun had been through some miserable phases indeed, and you somehow regretted not having asked about it much earlier. 

“Jaehy-”

“It’s okay.” He brushed it off and put the sliced chicken in the pan. “Not all women are bad, I just need to pick better. Next time, I need to be a hundred percent sure she’ll be my future wife.”

“It’s odd hearing these words from a university student.”

“Why?”

“Nowadays, from my own dating experience, I can say that marriage or children are not one of the top priorities for many people wanting to enter a relationship anymore. They struggle a lot with these nowadays for so many reasons, most of which are valid, like money and economics. So I’m positively surprised to hear you’re not one of them and actually want to marry out of love.”

“Do you want to marry one day?”

This question took you aback. “Yes, for the same reason as you, actually.”

“Mhhmm. And do you believe there is someone out there for you?”

“Yes, I honestly believe it. When there is you and me already, here in this very room, then there are also more people with the same mindset out there in the world. I’m sure, there are many women who have so much genuine love to give to a man like you, even when you’re still so young.”

“A man like me?” You now made eye contact. “What do you mean a man like me?”

You averted your eyes again as you started to list while finishing cutting the leek, “You’re caring, because when we were standing outside on the night of the fire alarm, you noticed that my feet were freezing. You gave me your shoes to wear even when that meant you needed to freeze yourself. And I was so mean to you that night. You’re helpful, because you come to every single festival preparation date and support everyone wherever they need a helping hand, kids and adults equally. And not a single complaint comes out of your mouth. You’re intelligent, because even if you need my help to understand a subject, you’re quick to solve every answer in your very own way. On top of that, you volunteered to play the part of my fake financé. And to this day, I still don’t know why.”

Jaehyun was about to turn on the stove, but then stalled, looking at you partially confused, partially what you somewhat interpreted as… touched? His features then softened and he was moved by your words, you clearly saw it in his eyes.  

“Look at you, Miss Neighbor. Not knowing what you’re blabbering again.”

You cracked a smile and put the leek in the pan with the chicken. “It’s just the truth.”

“I help you out, because you’re a good person who is being treated unfairly. Is that so hard to believe?”

After how you had acted in his presence before all this? It was very hard to believe. 

“So you think it’s better if I stay in my old position and choose the conventional, non-scheming way?”

“I’ve seen you around the children. I think you’re too good of a teacher to waste your potential on insufferable parents who are too stuck up to question their own values.”

After this short time only, he had seen through this all, and was holding such a high opinion of you?

As you continued preparing dinner right here in room 803, of which you had never imagined setting a foot in, you came to the truthful realization that your neighbor was not resentful towards your behavior from the beginning anymore. 

Then, you started to forgive yourself as well. 

This dinner had been an invitation to do exactly that, and you were grateful for it.

____

“My, my… hello, miss!”

You turned around and encountered Mrs. Nam, Soah’s mother, approaching in your direction. Another Wednesday meant another preparation and practice evening for the kindergarten festival that was set to take place this weekend.

“Hello, Mrs. Nam.” You bowed deeply. “What brings you here?” 

“I heard my husband talk about your fiancé so fondly last time, I wanted to meet him personally since you’re going to accompany us to the getaway next weekend, right?”

“Yes, we feel so honored. What a pleasure!”

A lie. You hated this woman to the core. She didn’t care much about Soah, but more about her reputation and appearance. Yet, she was the main investor’s wife and thus one of the people you had to convince of your capability to be her daughter’s homeroom teacher.

“I'm going to introduce myself,” she declared and strutted away.

Jaehyun was currently sitting in a circle with several kids, helping them prepare their costumes with a glue gun. The kids were talking excitedly to him, interacting with him and laughing along with him. The scene warmed your heart and you smiled the longer you observed them. Jaehyun was so popular and got along so well with them. 

“Miss!” Little Soah stood in front of you. “Look what Mr. Jeong made for me!” She raised her arms and presented a golden crown to you, adorned with pink plastic jewels. “He helped me glue the jewels on. Now I’m a true princess, right?”

You smiled and patted her back. “Yes, you truly are! Here, let me help you put it on.” You got on your knees and settled the crown on her head. “All good now.”

“Miss, when you’ve married Mr. Jeong, are you Mrs. Jeong then? Should we then address you as such?”

“I guess so,” you laughed. 

You weren’t worried about the rest, because you were going to break this fake engagement off anyway. But somehow, her question had caused a lump to build in your throat that you weren’t able to swallow down. 

“Then I’m happy,” Soah beamed through her missing front teeth, “because I like him very much!”

With jumpy steps, she hopped away in her crown as your own expression fell. That was something you hadn’t thought about before. The fact that the kids could get attached to Jaehyun. Or the other way around. Eventually, you would need to break their world apart and rob them of a person they had gotten emotionally attached to. But that was life, wasn’t it?

“Everything alright?” You got stunned as Jaehyun suddenly appeared next to you. “You’ve been standing like this, totally motionless, for a solid minute.”

You nodded. “Have you talked to Soah’s mother?”

“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “A very annoying woman.”

“Right?!” you whispered to him with a giggle, relieved he shared your opinion. 

“And she totally has the hots for me,” Jaehyun mentioned almost nonchalantly as he made his way to the stage.

“Wha-” You quickly fell into his step. “What are you saying?!”

“That she wants to rip off my clothes and take me right here and now. That she wants me to bend her over one of these small tables and make her scream in pleasure. That she-”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” you stopped him and feigned choking noises. “She favors you. It’s nothing surprising, honestly. She apparently has a weak spot for younger men and even teachers here. It’s an open secret she stays married to Mr. Nam for the sake of their business, and it’s also an open secret that some men here, teachers and parents equally, have fallen for her charms already.”

Jaehyun grinned. “Charms… Exactly.”

At the same moment, you lifted your finger. “Don’t you dare! I swear, Jaehyun, you’re involved here to help me with my promotion, not cause havoc. Stay as far away from my childrens’ parents as possible!”

Jaehyun stopped in his tracks, lifting his hands in defense. “I know, I know. I get it. Don’t worry! She’s annoying and not my type either way.”

“Because she’s much older than you, hm?” 

Somehow, this assumption put you at ease, but not fully. Because, in the end, you were five years older than Jaehyun as well. You weren’t quite able to wrap your head around the reason as to why this even bothered you in the first place. 

“No,” he denied. “I don’t mind age. Neither do I mind education or status, despite my parents saying so. I embrace smartness, wittiness and the gift to enrich my life.”

“And the girls you bring home are none of that?” It was supposed to be a tease, but your curiosity for an answer dominated the entire question. 

He laughed, scarcely and briefly. “Hell, no!”

“I see.” This was a response you could live with very well, along with the statement that he didn’t mind an age gap. 

“But this Mrs. Nam…” Jaehyun lowered his voice. “She’s neither of those qualities that I’m looking for. She’s only a shell with no personality who’s been living in her husband’s shadow and seeks quick affairs for validation.”

You were quite flabbergasted, because his judgment seemed totally on point. “Well, you nailed it.”

He smiled smugly. “You said I’m smart after all.”

You playfully slapped his arm. “This again?” 

“Nevertheless,” Jaehyun continued, “you’re all that, Miss Neighbor.”

You frowned. “All what?”

“Smart. Witty. And an enrichment to my life.”

With these words, he jumped on the stage where the children already came running towards him.

And you were left behind with hot ears and a feeling you hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

____

As you had expected, the school festival turned out to be a success, and with as many parents attending as possible, you had been able to introduce Jaehyun as your fiancé to everyone who was interested in finding out who that young man was, supporting and playing with their children.

It had warmed your heart, seeing how they all got along so well with Jaehyun that, the further the day had progressed, the warmth had turned into a stingy ache. The sheer fear that probably, you would never find someone like him again to replace the hole that he would most certainly leave when you had to call this entire thing off.

After all, this was only a pretense. 

Wasn’t it?

____

The weekend after the festival, you drove all the way out to the countryside to spend two days in the Nam family’s second residence. Jaehyun had apparently rented a car and he was a naturally good driver, you had to admit. 

The family’s holiday home consisted of three big houses in different sizes that were all connected to each other and formed a huge residence, surrounded by many acres of nature. There was a tennis court, a pool, a festive terrace, and even a few horses grazing in the fields. The residence overall looked both spectacular and intimidating to you, who had never set foot into such a habitation ever before.

“This is your room,” the housekeeper announced to you and Jaehyun when she opened the door.

You swallowed, hard. This was a fact that had totally passed by you. The room where you were supposed to spend the night only had one bed. No couch, no canopy, nothing else to lie down on except for this one bed. 

“Thank you very much,” Jaehyun said gratefully, not having lost a single ounce of his composure in comparison to you who was still too stunned to speak. 

He led you into the room and closed the door behind him, dropping your two bags on the floor. It was a nice room that, apart from the queen size bed, had a balcony and huge windows where the sunlight was able to stream in. 

“You brought your tennis clothes, right?” Jaehyun asked, and at that moment, you were quite relieved he hadn’t encountered your sleeping arrangement problems yet or chose to purposefully ignore it. Either of it was fine for you as for now, there was another hurdle to master before this day would end: lunch, followed by tennis with the Nams, and then dinner.

“Yes, I just haven’t expected that you would be able to play.”

He snickered. “Oh, you would be surprised about many of my skills.”

“Ew, if this means what I think it means, stop it!”

“Come on, did you always have this huge stick up your-”

You lifted one finger to silent him. “Don’t say it out loud!”

“Fine,” Jaehyun gave in and shrugged. “But try loosening up every now and then, even when you’re in teacher mode. I tell you, life is much more fun like that.”

You decided to ignore him and circled the bed that was somehow ironically the center of the entire room. You then seated yourself on one side of the bed where you dumped your bag on your lap and started unpacking. 

“I’m sleeping on this side and you on the other. You're gonna stay as far away from me as possible and we’ll build a wall of pillows. If I catch you breaking through the barrier at any point during the night, I’ll kick you.”

“I promise, I won’t touch you.” And then, he added sneakily, “Unless you say so, of course.”

Luckily, he couldn’t see your face as you arose and put your clothes in the closet. 

Your cheeks were so heated.

____

Lunch went by fast with you not having to interact with the Nams much as you had eaten at another table. But you were able to connect with a few other parents whose favor you had won very easily - mostly thanks to Jaehyun who was perfect in his role and did most of the chit chat himself. You didn’t complain, it played all too well into your cards as smalltalk wasn’t your strongest character trait anyway. 

Jaehyun nailed the late-twenties COO scheme like he was living it in reality. It was insane how well he knew about almost everyone’s work environment as though he had indeed already graduated years ago and could keep up with the other guests in regards to business talk. He seemed well-educated, eloquent and charming. He was perfect in his role.

"We’re doing well, but I feel like we could improve our international growth a bit,” one man on your table, also the parent of a child enrolled in your kindergarten, pointed out. “The European market is proving to be a bit more complex than anticipated."

"I hear you,” Jaehyun acknowledged. “Expanding into Europe can definitely be tricky. It’s a diverse market with varying regulatory environments, consumer preferences, and competitive landscapes.”

“What’s been your experience so far in terms of the challenges?” the man asked back. “Have you already tested the waters?”

You inhaled sharply. How was Jaehyun supposed to answer that? 

“Yes, we did,” he replied almost nonchalantly though and sipped at his water glass. “Is it more about local market adaptation, or are there specific operational or regulatory hurdles that are slowing things down for you? Personally, I can tell-”

It was unbelievable. But you were not complaining and just let him do his job while you shifted your attention to the women at the table. One of them was the business man’s wife who had just asked about the European market, and thus a parent of the child attending your kindergarten as well.

“I heard that you were very popular among the children, miss,” she told you with a smile that didn’t seem quite sincere. 

Perhaps you were just paranoid, but you believed that by now, working among mischievous children for years already, you were able to tell the difference. With another two women turning their attention towards you, you felt like you had been thrown right into a shark tank, and your lifeline in the form of your fake fiancé was in no sight but caught up with the European business market. 

“I heard so too, miss,” one of the other women chimed in. “Tell us, what makes you so different from other teachers? One would guess you aren’t strict enough.”

There it was, the flash of guile that nearly simultaneously was visible in all the women’s eyes for not even the blink of a second, yet it hadn’t passed by you. You weren’t determined to let these hyenas eat you up alive, you had worked too hard to come this far just to let mean girls make you give up.

“I believe I strike the perfect balance between kindness and strictness,” you explained with a calm voice, but under the table, you were nervously kneading your sweaty fingers. “Every child knows they can always come to me, be it for struggles concerning their school experience or personal ones.”

Instantly, the eyebrows of the student’s mother raised up. “Personal struggles?” she nearly squealed, but the loudness luckily got drowned out by the heated business talk of the men at the same table. 

“Does this mean you’re asking them about personal things?” the second woman pressed the topic.

Now, you furrowed yourself. What were they on? “What I mean by it is that if my students ever encounter problems of any kind that they cannot share with anyone else at that moment, my door is always open for them, and they know it.”

“For me,” the third woman intercepted, “it sounds like you’re more of a friend than a teacher.”

“Respectfully, that’s not what I said, and I apologize if I delivered the message wrongly. But-”

“Oh.” They looked at each other meaningfully and let you become quiet before the first woman picked up the conversation again. “Are you saying we are too uneducated to get the gist of your sentences?”

You were completely flabbergasted. You had already gotten to know many parents, but always in a safe environment and in the presence of other teachers where they had never acted like this in any scenario possible. Was this how the parents treated the teachers in private? Was this the environment the children grew up in and you would need to deal with on a daily basis when you got the promotion?

While you were still in your thoughts and preparing a reply in your head that didn’t consist of any curse word, you suddenly felt a warm hand wrapping around yours under the table and giving you an encouraging squeeze. 

“What my fiancée wants to say,” Jaehyun interrupted confidently, but politely, “is that with the educational environment given nowadays, teachers are trained to be strict and rule with an iron fist. They are pressured to push their students towards the top regardless of their feelings and needs. Thus, the children feel pressured themselves and rarely have no authority person they can turn to.” You halted your breath, and the women apparently did as well as they looked at Jaehyun with shock over his provoking words. He was harshly criticizing the entire education system for which, to a huge part, the parents were responsible for as well. “Under these circumstances, they really appreciate a teacher like my fiancée, who does not only make sure that every child reaches its full potential at this young age, but she also gives them the feeling that not all teachers only care for their success, but also for their personal wellbeing. And if this is not a trait that more teachers need to have nowadays, then I don’t know what is. I think your children are very lucky to have a teacher with a strong message like my fiancée.”

The entire table had quiet down at this point to listen to Jaehyun’s words who still had not let go of your hand. He was right, to a hundred percent, but speaking these words out among these people was like an invitation to get you fired on the spot. 

“I agree with Mr. Jeong,” a female voice behind you then said, and as you shifted around, you spotted Mr. and Mrs. Nam standing right behind you. “His fiancée teaches my daughter Soah and not only does she get the best grades, but she’s also very happy with her teacher. I think we need more teachers like her.”

This was a support you had never expected of ever receiving. From them? And then, the men at your table, followed by the women, agreed with the Nams vocally. Was it really that easy, would they go with everything this married couple wanted just to stay in this circle? It was an interesting observation. 

But then, your gaze fell upon Mrs. Nam who stared at Jaehyun, and then everything fell into place. 

Well, if it helped with your promotion, then you would let her look at him as long as she wanted. 

As long as he only looked at you and held only your hand, just like now.

____

“Ouch.”

“I thought you were able to play tennis?” Jaehyun asked as he carried you up the stairs in a piggy-back. “I didn't expect you to trip and fall all within the first fifteen minutes.”

Even though you weren’t able to see his expression, you felt that he had to clearly suppress a laugh right now. “Be quiet, I don’t want to hear anything about it.”

“Ah, did someone maybe sugarcoat their skills a bit too much? To your luck, the Nams were just as shocked and cared more about your wellbeing than your lack of skills, so all’s good. I believe they found it rather endearing.”

You grumbled and lowered your head, resting it on his shoulder. Jaehyun had regularly only worn loungewear, so you had never quite made out the shape of his body. Or you had never been particularly interested in it. But now that you were being carried on his back, you couldn’t help but feel his strong muscles tense beneath your body, lifting you like you weighed nothing for him. 

It was true. You had only taken three tennis lessons and had then dropped it for the lack of time and motivation. But since this had been not too long ago, you had thought the experience would suffice. You had been so, so wrong though. Mr. and Mrs. Nam were immaculate and Jaehyun didn’t fall short on them.

Was there something he did not master?

“Who are you even?” you asked Jaehyun when you were finally through your room’s door. He placed you on the bed where he inspected the wounds on both your knees. “Honestly, Jaehyun. It’s like you’re not only blending in, you’re really… living this role.”

Jaehyun approached the door to leave again and get a first aid kit, but not without pivoting back to you one more time and saying with a meaningful and nearly reproachful tone, “You still haven’t cared enough to get to know me on a deeper level, right? All you wanted to know so far was about women, not me as a person. You’d wonder how easy it is to find information about my family online if only you know enough.”

And with that, he left you alone in your room with not only scraped and bleeding knees, but a heart that slowly started hurting nearly just as much.

It was true. You had been too busy with preparations for the upcoming events, pulling through your scheme and working towards a potential promotion, that you had not once put a single thought into Jaehyun as a person. You had wondered at times, but had never really made the effort.

Wasn’t that what he had preached about you earlier? That you were so open-minded, the children could always come to you? So why did you lack this skill when it came down to your personal life? That was probably also very much the reason you barely had friends left anymore. Too selfish, too focused on your career and only using people for the sake of your own benefit. Like Jaehyun.

But you didn’t want to continue with this behaviour anymore and eventually become like the parents here, so bigoted, condemning and toxic. You couldn’t let that happen to yourself.

So you did what Jaehyun had wanted you to do all this time: You just looked up his name online.

… And stared at him with your mouth agape when he returned to the room with the first aid kit. 

He stood by the door, unsure how to proceed. “So, you know.”

You threw your phone on the bed and folded your arms across your chest. “Why did you never tell me?”

“Well, did you ever ask?” His gaze was sharp, but he didn’t seem reproachful anymore as he had most likely caught on the deep regret reflected in your eyes. “All you ever did was assume based on what you’ve seen or heard in some cases. Assuming I was some lazy student with nothing in my mind except for women. There were enough hints given by me for you to look through this facade. But you never cared in the first place.”

That was true, but it was also part of your job. Children were more likely to never tell you what was going on in their lives, so you had to be really attentive as a teacher. Most of the time, you were right about their current feelings, especially the struggles, despite them not talking about it. 

This skill apparently didn’t apply to adults as you had gotten proven wrong several times today already. Adults were way smarter in hiding who they truly were, only revealing what they wanted others to see. Jaehyun was the perfect example.

“I’m sorry.” Your head dropped and you only heard how Jaehyun shifted in his position, followed by his footsteps approaching you. 

He then knelt in front of you and opened the first aid kit as he started talking, “The corporation is my parents’ business, I have nothing to do with it and don’t want anything to do with it.”

“All this time, I thought it was just a company that you’ve made up yourself when you talked to the businessmen during lunch.”

“Of course my position was made up, and it won’t take them too long to find out that a certain Mr. Jeong, who coincidentally holds the same last name as its CEO, is indeed not a COO, but an entirely different man.” He took out some disinfectant that he then sprayed on your hurt knees. You inhaled sharply and under much pain, but were determined not to make a sound. “I’ve grown up in this business environment, so naturally I’m very conversational in this matter if you had wondered about that. I just know a lot of business chit chat to make them keep talking, nothing that needs too much deep dive into a topic. I also took tennis classes when I was younger and the car we came here with? That’s also mine.”

You gulped. You had not even asked about the car at all. All that you had been doing was assuming and assuming and assuming. You had pegged him as a lousy student from the very beginning, and not once had it crossed your mind to ask him about anything. 

All you ever had to do was ask, and he would have replied in all honesty - just like now.

“You said you wanted nothing to do with your parents’ business,” you repeated his words when he gently patted your knees with a clean cloth. “Why?”

“Currently, I’m still under my parents’ guard and sadly also financially bound to them. I didn’t have another choice after what happened with my ex, even though I really despise my current situation. I was lucky enough that they didn’t cut off my financial support altogether, otherwise I couldn’t study at all. But at least I can live alone and thus can taste a bit of freedom and independence. They expect me to join their business after my graduation, even though I refused so many times already.”

“What do you want to do then?” You were genuinely curious now. “If not joining their business?”

“Start my own business.” He then pulled out a long string of band aid and cut respective pieces from it, two in the sizes of your injuries. “I was able to enroll in this top university with a promise to my parents that I will join them after my graduation. Hell will break loose when I come forward with the truth though, but I will pay it all back to them. That is why I’m now saving up as much money as possible to be independent after my studies. There are so many varieties of fields business management is useful for.”

Gently, Jaehyun put a bandaid on your injury, one on each side. His touch was so tender, almost feathery-light, and you shuddered comfortably. “What kind of business do you have in mind?”

Jaehyun shrugged. “I don’t know yet, but I will eventually find out. After my graduation, I want to travel around first and go to Europe, see a little bit of the world. And then it will all fall into place, I’m positive about that. If anything, I don’t want to be dependent on my parents anymore and follow in their footsteps. I want to be my own person, I need to be.”

“The bleached hair… the women… when you only hung around in joggers… Was that some kind of rebellion?” A glimpse into a life he had never been fully able to live out under his parents’ guard. A bit of fun.

“Let’s say I got raised very strictly by my parents, just like the children in your kindergarten, so I can very much relate.” That was why he could grasp exactly how the parents and children felt. He had grown up in this exact environment. It all made sense now. “My mother nearly fell off the chair when she saw that I’ve bleached my hair and wanted to send me to a hairdresser right away. My father stopped bothering me about joining business meetings. It worked all to my favor. It’s not that I’m not grateful that they still help me out, they just haven’t learned to respect my own wishes. Maybe one day, when I’m successful too, they’ll eventually understand.”

“So, why did you agree on doing this with me then?” you wanted to know when Jaehyun put the utensils back in the kit. “Just to practice your skills for the future? For the connection? Because I don’t believe you need that much tutoring after hearing all this. Or was it solely for fun?”

“Perhaps,” he interrupted hesitantly, “I just wanted to help my Miss Neighbor when she needed someone without asking for anything in return, because nobody ever helped me. Is that too far off when I need to answer this question again? Does it not fit your narrative?”

Nobody ever helped him? Ouch.

So people could really be selfless. People like Jaehyun.

Even though you were older, you were still able to learn so much from him.

“You don’t fit my narrative at all,” you reluctantly confessed. “But I am willing to change it.”

He lifted his head to face you and smiled in agreement. “There you go, all good now.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you too.”

“So, Europe,” you picked up the topic again, swung your legs onto the bed and leaned back into the pillows. “Which countries excite you the most?”

That afternoon, you learned that Jaehyun had never been outside of the country, which really shocked you considering how wealthy his family was. But you also learned that, as the only son of successful business people, there had never been more to his world than his parents’ own little world. They had offered to send him abroad to study, but he had declined as he had never been on his own and got cold feet. Something he deeply regretted now.

You realized that Jaehyun had been living under the pressure and expectations of his strict parents all along and was only now slowly discovering the world. The fact that he fully went out in university, additionally with another woman by his side almost every night, was a response to his upbringing. You had studied this in your major.

It was the mere acts of a boy who had only discovered freedom, as he should.

“Living on my own was already a huge step towards independence. I can’t wait to see more of the world,” he elaborated, sitting on your bedside now. “Have you already been somewhere out of the country?”

“Japan and Vietnam, yes,” you replied and yawned. “But that was a long time ago, even before I studied.”

“You’ve never been to Europe either?” You shook your head. “Then you should consider coming with me.”

“I’ll probably be a teacher soon, Jaehyun. Even now, I hardly get any time off, so sadly, I won’t be able to do that. But it’s nice to dream about it. Maybe in the future it will be possible.”

“Hm.” He arose from the mattress and suggested, “You seem tired, how about you take a short nap until dinner? I’ll wake you up then.”

“Oh, that would be nice.” You yawned again. “But what are you going to do until then?”

“Making sure you'll get that job you really want.”

He was fascinating you more and more with each bypassing day.

____

During dinner, you were seated at the Nams’ table, exactly at the opposite of the married couple. You didn’t miss the fact that Mrs. Nam seemed to be in really high spirits, and she and her husband had asked about your wellbeing more than once.

“Tell us, Mr. Jeong, how did you meet your fiancée?” Mr. Nam eventually wanted to know from Jaehyun. 

You had prepared yourselves for this, you had made up an entire story about your first meeting with all the details someone could be curious about, and the rest you would just improvise. Jaehyun was supposed to say that you had met in university since you had both aged him up to fit the storyline.

“We first met when she moved into the apartment next to mine.”

Thank god you were already done with the main course, because you were sure you would have choked on your grilled beef they had served earlier.

“It was early in the morning, just a few days after she moved in. She was in a rush and I had just come back from an all nighter at the library. It was exam time and I suppose she was also in a hurry because of these circumstances.”

At least Jaehyun stayed true to the fake story by making you both university students. But what was he up to, why didn’t he follow your plan in all details? 

You desperately tried to lock eyes with him to give him some kind of signal to stop this, but he ignored you on purpose and just smiled at the guests while telling the story. Though he reached his hand out to your lap, searched for your fingers and embraced them as though in reassurance. Reassurance about what when he was not acting according to the plan at all?

“I was in the lobby, about to get on the elevator when the doors opened and a young woman stormed out of it. She had her bag in one hand, books and her jacket in the other, as well as a cup of coffee balancing on her fingers. She unsuccessfully tried to close the lid with the hand that was holding her bag.”

Wait… 

This was not a made up story. You vaguely remembered being in such a situation shortly after you had moved in. Instead of running late to university, you were running late to work, because you had calculated the commute time wrongly from this part of the city, even though it was closer to the kindergarten. You had successfully wiped this memory out of your mind, for the reason of…

“She was so caught up with her stuff that she didn’t see me and just stormed out of the elevator as soon as the door opened,” Jaehyun continued and earned a few giggles from the listeners. “She bumped right into me and the next moment, I had her coffee all over my shirt.”

… for this exact reason. It was too embarrassing to be kept as a memory. And the guy from that fateful having turned out to be Jaehyun himself was the cherry on top. Why had he never said a word about this incident?

Your embarrassment visibly showed on your cheeks as their color changed, gaining you a few amiable gazes from the guests. 

“She barely looked up as she apologized and tried to drop all her things to clean up the mess.”

“But I didn’t,” you remembered, speaking out loudly, “because you said I should hurry up and go to wherever I needed to go right now, and then cleaned everything up yourself.”

“Exactly,” Jaehyun laughed and a few joined. “You apologized three times and ran out, and I cleaned up the mess with the help of the lobbyist. I knew someone in such a haste had to be somewhere important early in the morning, and I didn’t want to be a hindrance to that, even though I didn’t know you yet.”

A few women at the table let out an “awww”, Mrs. Nam being one of them. 

Now, Jaehyun turned to you and met your confused face with a confident expression of his own. “I had barely looked up,” you added, “because I was too embarrassed, so I couldn’t remember your face. I was just hoping that I would never meet that person again, whoever it might have been.”

Jaehyun addressed the guests and declared, “Fate was not on her side when it turned out to be her next-door-neighbor. Luckily for her, I never mentioned it.”

Laughers from all sides now and you had a hard time keeping your mouth closed that was constantly on the verge of falling agape at this story. You had had no idea.

“Why not?” you then pressed the topic, your role threatening to crumble as you quickly filled in, “I think everyone here is curious as to why you have never told me until we got together.”

“Because I knew how hard working and busy you always were.” You returned to looking at each other, now unsure whether he spoke through his role or spoke as Jaehyun himself. “And I didn’t want to teeter your attention and let our first meeting get overshadowed by an embarrassing moment for you that might bear negative echoes. From that day on though, I was determined to win you over another way and kept this story a secret for later on. I just haven’t expected how difficult that would be.”

“A real gentleman,” a woman commented and she gently nudged her husband in the side.

“For two months, I was trying so many things to get her attention. But it turned out to be rather challenging, because this woman wouldn’t look at me even once if it was not for pouring coffee all over me.” Jaehyun covered his face with the back of his hand as if shyness threatened to break through. “I held the door open for her, waited for her in the lobby, took the same elevator or coincidentally ran into her in the convenience store. All to no avail. She didn’t spare me a single glance again. Not even when my attempts went more…” He paused and withdrew his hand, letting a serious expression full of regret flash by his face before it returned to his gleeful mien, “... vocal. I think at some point, she even started resenting me. But for me, it was enough. She finally recognized me.”

You didn’t know what to feel. It was a totally new story for you, and you were so sure he had just come up with it. But on the other hand, the entire storytelling sounded too real, too full of details and emotions to have just been made up on the spot. 

And the way he looked at you while telling all that... It was a story for the public, but the way he delivered it, the way he still held your hand under the table, indicated that he was telling it to you, and only you. The entire table, even the room, didn’t exist anymore, only you two.

Your fingers started to tremble.

“So, how did you eventually win her over?” Mrs. Nam asked curiously and Jaehyun’s gaze swiftly shifted to hers before returning to you. 

“I found out she needed help with a small favor, so I offered it to her. As to not make it so obvious and awkward for her again, I feigned to not be as good at studying as I actually am and needed to get tutored by her. Otherwise she would have never accepted my help without giving anything in return, or the feeling of it. And the rest is history.”

The crowd was partially in awe and partially shocked at this bold move. You belonged to the latter. Was this still part of your scheme? Then why was he telling the story so close to the truth?

“Mr. Jeong saw what he wanted and went for it,” Mr. Nam concluded. “That’s a true businessman here.”

“How did you react?” Mrs. Nam then wanted to know from you. “Finding out he schemed his way into your heart?”

It was supposed to be a funny remark, but you were not amused by it one bit. Yet, you brought yourself to crack a smile that was far too crooked to be genuine and shook off Jaehyun’s hand from yours. 

Luckily, no one noticed. 

Except for Jaehyun himself.

“I was totally shocked,” you answered Mrs. Nam. “But it turns out his scheming abilities have become really beneficial for him as he’s always geeting what he wants, am I right?”

Everyone at the table failed to notice your disappointed tone and made the connection to Jaehyun’s business skills as they all started talking again, first complimenting his traits, then falling back into a talk about what to invest in next.

Dessert arrived the next moment, but as you looked at the Panna Cotta in front of you, you didn’t crave for it one bit anymore. In fact, you felt sick to your stomach, and Jaehyun, whose hand now was placed on your thigh in a comforting gesture to make amends, was the cause of all this.

“Excuse me,” you quietly apologized, but nobody noticed you arising from your seat and then disappearing into the hallway.

Jaehyun followed you instantly.

____

“I’ve been in love with you since the first time we met. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Shut up, Jaehyun, I don’t want to hear a single word anymore!”

He was right at the other side of the door, waiting patiently while you were sitting at the other side in your room, grabbing your head in despair and trying to string together the words that had just come out of his mouth. 

“But it’s true,” he said with a softer voice now. “What more can I say for you to believe me?”

“All these women…” It just didn’t make sense in your head. “You wanted me and still were with all these women.”

“I was only with them, because I couldn’t be with you. Sometimes, I’m just… a little boy still. What else was there for me to do when the woman I love wouldn’t even look at me? I’d rather had her look at me with disgust than not looking at me at all.”

A long pause followed. 

“Yes, you’re just a little boy, Jaehyun. You’d rather trick me than tell me the truth straight up.”

“What would you have said if I had one day just appeared at your doorstep and asked you out? Me, a student, five years your junior, who cannot even compare to the men you meet every day at your job? Sometimes, I regretted wanting to go a different path than what my parents mapped out for me just so that I could keep up with them. But I thought, if you finally got to know the real me, all my other qualities, you would eventually see that I am indeed a match to them. A match for you.”

“But that is no valid reason to lie to me! First the tutoring lessons that you clearly didn’t need just to spend time with me, then…” You gasped. “Had you also lied about getting locked out on that day you appeared at the kindergarten?”

The day he had suddenly exchanged his casual clothes for decent ones and had dyed his hair back to dark. That had not been a fateful coincidence. The fact that he had come to your kindergarten on that exact day dressed like that, it had all been carefully planned.

“I knew you probably thought I wouldn’t be the right candidate for that role with my appearance back then, so I wanted to prove to you that I, indeed, was the best choice with my background, and adapted according to the circumstances. I genuinely wanted to help you, even if not for selfless purposes only. I wanted you to want me too.”

“You tricked me, you manipulated me, and you schemed all your way into my heart.”

You heard him shuffle through the door, probably as perplexed as you were as you repeated your last words in your head. Oh no. You were grateful that he let it pass by him though.

“I’m deeply sorry. I am just a boy who didn’t know how to handle his feelings and who was used to getting whatever he wanted. I think I still have a long way to go to grow up.”

You pulled your knees close to your chest and hugged your arms around your legs. “Why today? Why did you choose today to reveal everything? In front of all these people? Was it one of your schemes too?”

“Not once did I have in mind that I wanted to hurt you. I came out with my feelings today, because they were genuine, and your reaction would be genuine too. And it worked, everyone out there believed it. Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Yes, this was everything that you had wanted. But why was it hurting so much then? Not only because Jaehyun had gone through all these lengths to make your dream come true, but also because you had wasted this much time together. So, so much time.

“So what if I disposed of you right after this?” Your voice sounded icier than it was supposed to, and he noticed it. “Would you have told everyone the truth out of spite?”

“After all, is that what you still think of me?” His pain was almost palpable and you regretted your question right away. Perhaps, because you wanted him to answer differently, but he replied just like you had secretly wanted him to, “If I had helped you make your dream come true, and you had still chosen them over me, then yes, I would have been very hurt. But I would have been happy for you, too. Isn’t that what love is about?”

This was probably the most mature thing he had said to you today. “And if I had chosen you?”

“After tonight, I believe that if it comes down to me and them, you would pick them.”

Was that what he was thinking of you now? Your heart ached when you asked, “Why do you think that?”

“I saw what you’re dealing with, what you try to achieve. You are too much of a hard worker to throw this all away for a normal student with no real plans, no perspective. Someone who can offer you nothing but a promise that he will work hard to help you achieve everything you want.”

A student with no perspective. Was that how Jaehyun saw himself? 

Yes, he had grown up in a business environment and surrounded by wealth, but he was an enrichment to your life without all that too, in ways your workplace and the people in it had never been. Yes, you loved your job and your students, they were the center of your world, and you were working so very hard for achievement after achievement. 

So hard that it had totally passed by you that you yourself had been the center of the world for someone, and it was actually nice to finally have a person look at you when you had only been overlooked by exactly these people before, who you were trying so hard to impress. And what for?

Jaehyun might only offer promises, but he always made sure to live up to them. Wasn’t this worth so much more?

“I’ll go downstairs again,” he then announced quietly when you didn’t say something in an uncomfortable long time. “If you don’t feel like coming, you can stay here and I’ll find an excuse, don’t worry about that.”

Your front teeth sank into your bottom lip. Jaehyun had been right. Perhaps, you would have called him an idiot for having asked you out the very first day you met. 

“Idiot!” you called out to him now for a whole other reason as you opened the door and dashed after him.

With much surprise twinkling in his eyes, you now stood in front of him and crossed your arms. 

“What?”

“You’re an idiot,” you repeated. “If you believe that after everything, when it comes down between you and them, I’d pick them, then you’re an idiot. Because I’d pick you.”

Jaehyun didn’t have much time to process what you had just said as you slung your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you. 

The moment you kissed Jaehyun for the very first time you realized that all of this might not have entirely been a scheme at all, from both of your sides. 

He kissed you back with much passion and fierceness, and you felt that exactly these feelings had been lingering inside of you as well.

You just weren’t sure for how long already. In the end, it didn’t really matter.

____

“Here?” you asked Jaehyun with widened eyes when you fell back on the bed.

He crawled on top of you. “Do you think I’ll wait any longer for this?”

“But everyone is still downstairs, finishing dinner.”

“Good,” he whispered and kissed your neck. “Then no one will hear us.”

You chuckled when his playful pecks turned into sensual kisses and he eventually started sucking on the sensitive skin. Goose bumps spread all over your upper body, and you couldn’t remember when you had last been with a man while Jaehyun… You balked.

Immediately, he heaved up his head, looking at you with a surprised expression. He stroked your temple. “What’s wrong?”

You didn’t want to admit it. The fact that you felt intimidated by his experience despite you being older. That you felt inferior to all the women he’d ever let in his bed that were far prettier than you. Or so you thought.

But Jaehyun didn’t share your opinion when you hesitantly tried to explain your worries to him.

“You don’t have to worry about any noise coming from my apartment anymore. Because you’re the only one who’s gonna lie in my bed from now on. Okay?”

“Okay.” You giggled when he kissed your cheek. “I really like that.”

Jaehyun sat back up on his knees while suggesting you to keep laying still. He reached out his hands and unbuttoned your blouse. You helped him take off the piece of clothing by winding your body to the side for better access. He then brought his head down to the beginning of your breast and placed a light kiss on a spot that made you shudder. 

With both his pointer fingers, he then searched for the straps of your bra and pulled them aside. You wiggled your arms out of the tightness it had provided, having Jaehyun drag the underwear down enough only for your breasts to lay bare. You turned your gaze to the ceiling and hoped he wouldn't notice your flushed cheeks as you weren’t quite sure what to do or how to behave anymore. 

But Jaehyun, on the contrary, knew exactly what he was doing and how to behave. He put your nipple between his lips and started sucking on it, supporting his body with one hand. A pleasurable feeling streamed through your body whenever he wetted the mound and had his teeth gently tug on it. 

With his free hand, he massaged your other breast that had still remained untouched, and the blissful feeling of being pleasured on both sides suddenly started coiling between your legs where you already felt Jaehyun growing hard in between.

“You like that?” He was suddenly up by your ear again, muttering, “By the sounds you make, I take it as a yes.”

You had made sounds? You hadn’t been aware of that, but Jaehyun seemed to enjoy it very much, judging the way he beamed at you. 

He helped you up to a seated position so that you were able to take off your bra entirely before he let you fall back onto the mattress. Jaehyun had his own shirt unbuttoned and on the floor the next moment, and you swallowed a gasp at how well built he actually was. Prominent muscles showed off abs and his arms were unexpectedly muscular. You stared at him in awe, somehow desiring to have his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Like what you see?” He flashed a grin.

Jaehyun was on his knees now, fiddling with his belt that he intended to open, but you couldn’t wait that long to finally touch him. So you arose from your position and grabbed him by his belt yourself. With one swift motion, you had him freed from this barrier, but didn’t withdraw your hands right away. Instead, you unbuttoned and unzipped his pants yourself.

Jaehyun stayed patiently silent during your actions, his hand entangled in the hair at the back of your head. When you were about to drag down his pants, a huge bulge was already foreshadowing what you would find underneath. Yet, you still let out a gasp when you slid down his boxers and his cock sprang free in front of you. 

You lifted your hands, but then halted. “May I…?”

You didn’t know if asking was even necessary, but given that it was your first time with him, you wanted to be sure that he really wanted his intimate favors to be returned. 

“You may do whatever you want with it,” Jaehyun growled in anticipation of what was about to come.

You cupped his entire length with one hand and watched in amusement how his head rolled back in satisfaction. His chest irregularly lifted with each breath when you started moving your hand up and down. 

You cracked a smile, speeding up your motions that then elicited moans out of Jaehyun that he eventually successfully suppressed through gritted teeth. People were still dining downstairs, but you also didn’t want to risk being overheard. With your thumb, you slid over the tip of his dick that was already wet and sticky from his precum.

You looked up to Jaehyun who turned his gaze down to you, probably wondering why you had suddenly stopped. But then he found you looking at him with much lust, bringing your thumb to your mouth from where you then licked up all his precum.

It was one of the hottest things Jaehyun had ever seen, and he immediately brought your faces together to kiss you passionately and fiercely.

Not much later, you were laying on your back again, entirely naked this time, and Jaehyun was settled between your legs, his elbows braced against the mattress on either side of your head. He nudged you to open your thighs, and you were more than willing to finally welcome him.

Jaehyun did everything in his might to reassure you as you distorted your face at the sharp pain shooting through your lower abdomen upon him entering you with his tip. It had been a long time, so your body was not adjusted to this kind of stretching anymore, and it let you feel it. 

Jaehyun moved very slowly though, with pauses in between, until he was fully sheathed inside of you. And eventually, when he stilled to let you adapt, pain turned into the long awaited pleasure. Suddenly, him filling you out so fully was not an inconvenience anymore, but something inside you screamed for him to go deeper than that so that you would feel more of him. 

Your fingers interlaced in the back of Jaehyun’s neck and his lips came down to kiss you over and over again. He wanted to be assured that you were really okay with him continuing before he ultimately started stroking. 

It still stung when he withdrew himself. But after only two thrusts, you felt nothing anymore except for the ungraspable desire for him to push inside you again. And again. And again. Whenever he pulled out, you couldn’t bear to have him in this position for too long, because you wanted him to hit the spot he had just found. And again. And again.

“Shhhh-” Jaehyun halted and laughed quietly before kissing you. “You want everyone to hear you now?”

“Oh!” You brought your hands in front of your mouth to suffocate the moans that you apparently had let out unconsciously. “I’m sorry!”

“Don’t ever be sorry. You can moan if you don’t mind them.”

But you shook your head. “I don't want them to hear, but I just can’t help it.”

Jaehyun nodded in understanding and started thrusting into you again. And again, you let out a moan despite your efforts to keep your lips sealed. You slid your arms under his and hugged his back. Simultaneously, you brought your legs up and hooked them behind him. The bed shook under you, but luckily it was not making much noise. 

Gently, you bit into Jaehyun’s shoulder to muffle your sounds, and as he didn’t react to it with a wince of pain, you got assured that it was okay for him. On the contrary, he got even braver now. Where he had seemingly been holding himself back this entire time, he was now grabbing the headboard and used it as a support to speed up his stroking game. 

He slammed into you over and over, and you were holding onto him like a lifeline now with your head buried in his chest. Your thighs tensed around his hips as you felt the pleasure that had accompanied you all throughout the act coiling up to a destructive ball between your legs. It tugged on every fiber of your body, and you had to squeeze your eyes shut to focus on it, otherwise, you thought, it would tear you apart.

“Oh, Jaehyun,” you breathed, your nails digging deep into his skin on the back. “I-”

You let out a long breath, very well aware of the fact that when the feeling finally came crashing down on you, you would be in no position to hold in the noises that would pass your lips. 

You then were petrified, eyes widening in shock when you suddenly overheard steps and noises in the hallway. People had finished dinner and were now returning to their rooms, it seemed. There was no way you could now end this with noises!

Jaehyun was very well aware of your surroundings too though, but was not determined to let anyone disrupt what he had been dreaming to do to you for months already. He nodded in silence and pressed you back down on the mattress. With his palm flat, he then covered your mouth, but made sure your nostrils were still free for you to breathe properly. You looked at him with glistening eyes, your arms now loose around his neck.

“Scream,” he summoned. “Scream all you want. I’ll make sure nobody will hear you.”

And you did. 

You screamed your heart out into his hand when you came undone beneath him, fingers scratching over his shoulders and toes curled up as your entire body convulsed. And he drowned every single sound so that nobody could hear you except for him only.

When Jaehyun let go of you with a sneaky grin, your mouth was dry and your vision blurry, but you could still watch his sweaty chest arise above you when he prepared himself for his own heights. Deep toned moans entered your ears and you smiled softly as you let him cum all inside you with a few more thrusts that eventually slowed down.

Jaehyun fell limply next to you, but, with his remaining strength, he still managed to pull you up to his chest so that you could find a comfortable spot there. It was already dark outside and you heard one door close after another, indicating that people were now ending the day.

“So, you still want to sleep with a wall of pillows between us?” Jaehyun teased and played with a strand of your hair.

You laughed when you remembered how you had initially been so worried about the one bed setup. 

Now, it was very conventional.

____

You only remembered falling asleep and dreaming soundly in Jaehyun’s arms after two more rounds of muffled screams and shaking orgasms. 

When you woke up much later, still in the middle of the night though, those arms that had held you warm were no longer wrapped around you, and your bed was missing his body.

Your first thought was that Jaehyun had fled and your heart jumped to your throat. That he had realized he didn’t want you after all and just dropped you like that. That you were, in fact, unlovable.

You slowly started to calm down again though when you saw his bag still laying where he had placed it and part of his clothes that he had worn the evening before still neatly folded on the chair in front of the dressing table. 

“Jaehyun?” you asked carefully when you got out of the bed and threw on your pajama pants and a t-shirt. 

You approached the bathroom, but no light was coming from inside, indicating that no one was in there after all, and when you eventually opened the door, you found out that you had been correct. 

Where could he have disappeared to? It was so odd. 

You slid into your slippers with the intention of leaving the room as quietly as possible. You knew you could have also waited for Jaehyun to return, but something inside you wouldn’t be able to casually get back to sleep without an anxious feeling, so you needed to get rid of it in an instant and find him.

You didn’t need to look for long though. The moment you opened the door, he was already standing right in front of you, not less surprised by your sudden appearance as vice versa. 

“Where have you been?” you whispered when he closed the door behind him after stepping into the room.

With a swift motion, he held a bottle of water in front of you. “I was thirsty, so I went to get something to drink from the kitchen.”

“Oh…” You had been so anxious for nothing. 

“What?” he grinned when he went over to the table and placed the bottle on it. “You thought I sneaked out in the middle of the night?”

You shrugged and seated yourself on the bedside with a long sigh while Jaehyun opened the water bottle and drank from it. “When I woke up after my nap this afternoon, you weren’t here either. I know you went to the talk with the Nams, but…”

Jaehyun placed the bottle down again and closed the lid. “Were you afraid I had suddenly left? Or worse… that I was with another woman?”

“Well…” You averted your gaze by turning your head to the side. “You’ve been with many women after all. And I’ve always heard everything.”

Jaehyun didn’t respond until he stood in front of you and had your face cupped with his hands. “What if I tell you that throughout this childish act, there has always been just one woman I wanted to be with, and now that I have her, I don’t need anyone else anymore?”

You lowered your gaze and smiled reluctantly. Despite the darkness, you saw the entire truth flicker in his eyes and believed every word that he said. Why shouldn’t you after all? He had done all this just for you.

“I believe you.”

“Very well.” He kissed you and crawled back into the bed to where you followed him. “So, what should we do when we return home tomorrow?”

You first got on your knees and fluffed up your pillow. “What do you mean?”

Jaehyun grabbed you by your arm and pulled you towards him. The next moment, you laid with your stomach flat on top of him and he brushed through your hair, gently kissing your parting. “I don’t mean we have to get married by the time of your promotion. Yet.” You blushed, but luckily he couldn’t see. “But if you start going out with me, I’d be just as happy, Miss Neighbor.”

You braced your arms against the mattress and lifted your upper body up so that you could wind yourself and face him. “If you think I would ever give up that spot next to you on the bed now, then you’re so wrong.”

“I like the way you think.” 

A deep kiss followed, only interrupted by your muffled whimpers when he pulled down your pants and nudged hard between your legs again.

____

You had parted with the hosts on magnificent terms with Mr. Nam exclusively promising you that he would vote for you to get the job. As of this weekend, you, with the help of your fake fiancé turned real boyfriend, had proven to be the best candidate for the soon to be open position, and if anyone still thought otherwise, Mr. Nam would convince them himself. 

Mrs. Nam had only silently nodded, seeming displeased over something, but you didn’t bother too much about her mood swings since you had never liked her anyway. If you had her husband’s word, then nothing else mattered anymore.

You had one week left to prepare yourself for the meeting with the board, but since everything seemed to be home and dry, you could relax most days and spent every night at your neighbor’s over there in room 803. 

“Scream,” Jaehyun had said the first time you went next door, sitting naked on top of him with your hips locked on his. He had let his hands roam over your cheeks and squeezed tightly into the flesh. “You can scream as loud as you want here. Don’t care about the neighbors.”

And, as a matter of fact, the screams that came out of room 803 from that night on, only belonged to you.

____

“I’m very sorry to deliver this message to you, miss,” the director said, “but we cannot offer you the position at our kindergarten in this city.”

In front of you, you visibly saw your whole world shatter.

What had gone wrong? Had you not spoken to the Nams just last weekend, who had promised you that you had secured the position already and the rest were only formalities? What had happened in the past days that must have apparently changed their minds completely?

“I’m sorry, I think I might have misunderstood,” you apologized, “I assumed the parents who are also part of the investor group, for example Mr. and Mrs. Nam, also have a say in this. Do they not?”

You had already been welcomed with a dreadful feeling when you had opened the door and only found the director sitting in the room. None of the others had been present unlike the last time. Still, you had hoped that you were wrong.

“Oh, they do, miss. Actually, every parent has approved of you.”

“Then, what changed your mind?” You had a really hard time keeping your voice at a respectful level. You had done everything they had expected of you. Save from… “Is it because I’m still not married? They all know I’m engaged and they know my fiancé. I can always hand in a copy of the certificate later, but we do not have a date yet.”

“Miss…” The director lifted up his hand, smiling this time. “I said we cannot offer you the position at our kindergarten in this city. I repeat the last words: in this city.”

Your brows drew together in skepsis. “So that means…” You didn’t want to speak out loud what you were thinking as you didn’t know yet whether these were better or worse news.

“Congratulations!” The director arose from his chair, rounded the table and approached you. “We offer you the position of an elementary school teacher in one of our Shi-A schools in Busan!”

“In… Busan?”

It was odd how the city’s name was the first word that resonated in your head. Not “elementary school teacher” which even meant a significant upgrade from your current position. But the city’s name. A city on the other side of the country where you would need to move to if you accepted this position. Which meant in retrospect that you had to move out of your current apartment, away from…

“Miss?” The director looked at you curiously. “Are you not pleased about this?”

“I am!” you corrected yourself. “I am truly happy over the fact that you offer me an even higher position now.”

“Fantastic! We are aware that you will have to move then, but don’t worry about the logistics, we will provide for all expenses you need. You can start with the new semester, so there is plenty of time. Isn’t it fortunate?”

He wasn’t aware of the fact that this, indeed, was really unfortunate for you.

____

Not long after you had gotten the work contract to read through and sign until the week after that, you were standing outside of the director’s room, petrified to the core. Too many thoughts were flying into your head that you struggled with to organize. 

This was your dream. This was your dream coming true, yet…

“Not happy about your new position after all?” 

In front of you stood Mrs. Nam, arms folded across her chest, standing high on her heels. Her lips were curled up to a smile that was all too wicked and did not resemble the persona she had shown to you the majority of the past weekend. 

You were at a loss for words as you couldn’t define her expression, but she was happy enough to help you out when she explained, “In the beginning, I fancied your fiancé very much. I thought he wouldn’t say no to a bit of fun with me. Nobody ever had. Until then. Or should I better say… fake fiancé?” Your mouth fell agape, but you were quick to close it with a hard swallow. “Yes, my chin also dropped when I overheard your little conversation after dinner.”

“Let me ex-”

But she only lifted her hand to gesture to you to stop speaking. Her nostrils flared, anger clearly mirrored in her eyes. “After our tennis match, before I found out the truth between you two, I met with him and suggested that he would come to me during nighttime. I had so much fun watching you being all giddy during dinner, knowing that once you’d be asleep, he’d slip into my bed.”

You needed a moment to process everything she had said. When you had been asleep, Jaehyun had met with Mrs. Nam who had then offered him a place in her bed? You were furious. A married woman making advances on a taken man… you had heard about her reputation among the childrens’ mothers, but never had you thought that one day, you would become her victim too. 

But more so… Another thought suddenly cut off the air in your lungs. “Jaehyun has not declined?”

Her eyes narrowed. “He hasn’t declined.” Your heart dropped. “When we met during the night, I didn’t mention what I found out. I didn’t care if it meant I could see him more often. But he had recorded the entire conversation and then dared to blackmail me. That bastard had followed his own plan all along. He told me that if you wouldn’t get this position without him needing to share my bed, then he’d play it to my husband, to the entire board and the school if necessary. I told him that if he did that, I would tell everyone you weren’t even together. Unfortunately for me, unlike him, I didn’t have any proof.”

Suddenly, you felt like you could breathe again. Jaehyun hadn’t declined her invitation, because he had his own scheme mapped out and wanted to help you all along.

“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” you asked sharply. “Luring taken men into your bed as a married woman?”

She raised one brow in questioning. “As far as I know, he hasn’t been taken at that time, am I right?” Unfortunately, she was, but you kept quiet. “The men I’ve been with have never once been happy in their marriage or have drifted apart from their partner already. At best, they already had affairs going on. The only mistake I made this time was choosing someone who I thought was a naive kid. My fault.”

“Is that why you’re sending me away? To get revenge on him for doing what was right and not betraying me?”

Mrs. Nam slowly moved her head from one side to the other. “I’m not sending you away, otherwise my husband would start questioning. I’m giving you a choice. Either stay here in your old position or move to chase after a more glorious future. After all, that’s what you want, right? The lengths you’re going through to get what you want? What’s making you so different from me, then?”

She had thrown the truth over you like a bucket of ice cold water. You had lied your way into the promotion and dragged Jaehyun along with you in the process. Were you really different from them? It was written all over your face, apparently.

“Exactly.” Mrs. Nam grinned. “You remind me of me when I was younger. I also wanted power and wealth, and eventually got trapped in a loveless marriage. I’m not heartless, miss. After all, it only takes me a few phone calls to ruin your fake fiancé and everyone related to him. His little audio has nothing on my power.”

“Then why?” The contract was rattling in your shaking hands. “Why give me a choice in the first place and not fire me on the spot?”

“My daughter adores you very much, she talks about you every day.” A flash of regret passed over her face, but before you could catch the entire meaning of it, it had already vanished. Perhaps, she cared more about her daughter than she had let seen past, but failed to show it. “Back in the days, I made the wrong decision on what to choose. Perhaps, I hope, you’re going to make the right one.” She turned on her heels and lifted up her hand as though she wanted to bid farewell to you. “I’m sure you’ll know what to do.”

The contract was still shaking in your hand long after she had left.

____

When you walked into Jaehyun’s apartment later that day, your face was still like stone, the contract also still in your hands. 

On your entire way back home, you had read through each paragraph over and over again. It sounded too good to be true. Nearly the double amount of salary, more days off during vacation and your own assistant teacher. You were offered to teach the first two years of elementary school and if necessary, they would even provide housing for the first three months.

This was everything you’d ever worked hard for and dreamt of. 

“I got offered the position of an elementary school teacher from next semester on,” you declared nearly absent-mindedly as you sank down on the couch and handed him over the contract. 

“Congratulations!” Jaehyun wore a solemn expression on his face when he flopped down on the cushion next to you. “You want to celebrate?”

His happiness pulled you out of your thoughts and you faced him with an agonized expression. “There is nothing to celebrate about this, Jaehyun! The position is in Busan! That’s on the other side of the country!”

“Okay calm down…” When you made attempts to arise, he touched your upper arm and indicated to you to stay seated. “I know where Busan is. That’s no problem. I’ll just go with you, because I’ll finish university in two months anyway. And after that…”

You cracked a pained smile. “After that you want to go to Europe.”

He shook his head. “I don’t need to go to Europe. I can go with you and find a job there.”

“And not living your dream? What you have worked so hard towards after you helped me achieve everything that I wanted? You want to drop that?”

He looked at you like you had just uttered the most ridiculous question someone could ask. “You’re more important to me than that dream.”

“Was that what you also thought when you blackmailed Mrs. Nam?”

Jaehyun drew in a sharp breath. “So you know.”

“You lied to me again!” you yelled. “When will you ever stop lying to me about serious stuff, Jaehyun?”

“I was about to tell you as soon as I knew about the offer, when your position was secured! I saw the chance and I took it! What did she tell you?”

You told him about your encounter with the parent and had arisen from your seated position by the time you finished, walking around the living room in nervous circles now. 

“She didn’t just suggest it,” Jaehyun opposed. “She told me, for you to get this position, I’d need to sleep with her, otherwise she would tell her husband what a bad teacher you are. And I was absolutely not going to do it, so I thought if she dared to blackmail me, I could do the same and pretend to be interested just to let it all blow into her face. What would you have done if you knew? There was absolutely nothing you could have done! I turned the situation to your advantage!”

“She could have come forward with the entire truth! She could have gotten me fired and your true identity revealed!” You came to a halt in front of him on the couch and he took your hand into his, trying to calm you down. “Do you know what that could have meant? If you had informed me, we could have tried to figure it out together!”

“And then for you to resent them and quit what you were working so hard for? I was not about to risk that! I was only acting in your best interest.”

You wiggled your hands out of his and shifted around, away from him. “You put both of our futures at risk by doing that, Jaehyun! What if exactly the opposite had happened? What then? Would you have taken responsibility for it?”

He didn’t say anything for a long time and you braced your hands against the table, losing a long breath. 

“I just… I just wanted to help.”

“I didn’t ask for your help! I never had! Look at what happened!”

You were just so, so frustrated. You had only gotten this offer, because Jaehyun had interfered. You had only been invited to the getaway weekend, because Jaehyun had interfered. You had only fallen into the parents’ favors, because Jaehyun had interfered. 

Had you achieved all this without him as well? Something inside you was assured that you wouldn’t have.

And you resented him for that.

“In the end, you’ve ruined everything I’ve planned and worked so hard for! Had you not come into the picture at all, then I would have gained their favors myself! After I’ve gotten the offer, I would have announced my separation and everything would have been fine!”

Suddenly, Jaehyun was behind you, turning you around by your shoulders. “You know that’s not true,” he said calmly. “I know how these people are, and you now know too. It wouldn’t have worked.”

Yes, you knew. That was why your resentment was so strong. Everything you had ‘achieved’ was ‘achieved’ through a man, with the help of a man. Even the board had only consisted of men, and in the end, Mr. Nam had given you his permission after having bonded with Jaehyun, not yourself. 

This was not entirely your own achievement. Everything you had worked so hard for, was in vain in the end, because Jaehyun had only needed to do a bit of small talk, play with his charms, and they were butter in his hands.

Yet, it still hadn’t all worked out in your favor.

“I also have the option to stay, but only in my old position.” 

“As I said,” Jaehyun interrupted you with a gentle voice, “I’ll go wherever you go.”

But you weren’t sure whether you wanted this.

You moved past him and grabbed your purse from the couch. “I need time to think.”

When you walked out of Jaehyun’s apartment, you found two neighbors in the hallway, talking to each other. 

One of them was Mrs. Choi and the other person was the neighbor with the dog. They were trying hard to pretend that they hadn’t eavesdropped all the yelling coming out of room 803 earlier as opposed to the usual noise, and greeted you, but you just ignored them.

That night, you didn’t return to Jaehyun’s room.

____

When you had first voiced the desire to become a teacher, your priority was to support and foster children who really needed special attention. Those who got overlooked in school, who suffered from the intense pressure and who possessed talents that weren’t recognized.

You had landed the assistant teacher position in that prestigious private kindergarten, because you had been sent there from your former teacher’s program when the previous one needed to be admitted to the hospital due to severe burnout. She had never returned and you were able to stay as it was in the middle of the semester. It had been sheer luck.

As an assistant teacher, you were only doing that: assisting. None of the things that had driven you to study this major could have come to use yet, and you were tired. You wanted to become a real teacher, because you thought you could finally get the wheels rolling this way.

Jaehyun saw it in your eyes the moment you opened the door. “You’re going to Busan.”

You bit into your lower lip, nodding almost noticeably. “I’ll go to Busan.”

“Without me.” He smiled in defeat.

“Yes.”

“Is it so hard for you?” he asked. “To just let people you love into your life?”

“It’s not that I go because I don’t love you.”

He had you in his arms and inside his apartment before the first tear fell. “I know. I love you too.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as tears dropped onto his shirt and lifted your arms, holding meekly onto the fabric. “You’re just so young and you’re going to finish your studies soon. You shouldn’t go with me.”

Quietly, he whispered into your hair, “I know.”

If Jaehyun went with you, he would give up his dream of finally breaking free from his parents and seeing the world. You were not going to rob him of that. If you didn’t go, you would need to give up your own dream, and he wouldn’t want that either. 

Perhaps, it was because you were older and more experienced than Jaehyun, but you had felt from the beginning that whatever you had started was going to find an end soon anyway. There was just no future for two people who were at such different stages in their life. 

Sometimes in life, there were no winners in love.

You snuggled up to him more and sobbed, “I’m really grateful for what you have done for me. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to come so far.”

In the end, you had come to your senses. You were not going to throw his selfless acts away and accepted the gift he had been willing to give to you without anything in return. Just because he selflessly loved you. As simple as that. You were willing to pass this message on to everyone who needed it.

At his age, perhaps it was really this simple to love so fiercely and unconditionally. Later in life though, he would realize that it would take much, much more.

“Nonsense.” Jaehyun chuckled lightly. “You can achieve anything you want, you know that. You were just in the wrong environment. You can still-”

You shook your head and withdrew yourself from his embrace. “It wouldn’t change anything. You helped me achieve my goal and I’m not going to stand in the way of yours. You never dreamed of staying here after your graduation. If you do, even with all the love you hold for me now, you’re going to resent me one day, and I don’t want to take credit for that. Perhaps you don’t understand now, but you will in the future. You have to go.”

Mrs. Nam was wrong. You didn’t choose wealth and power over love. There was a third option. You chose your dream. And Jaehyun should do that too.

“When I’ve finished my travels and started with my business, can I come find you again?”

He wanted a sliver of hope, a silver lining. If it put him at ease, you would give him that, even if the chance was so less, you wouldn’t even dare to dream about it in secrecy.

“I’ll wait for you.”

With the kind of lifestyle Jaehyun had been living before you, you were sure that he would forget about this sliver of hope all too soon.

When he met girls in other countries, he would forget about his neighbor in room 804 at his former apartment complex who had always been so mean to him. Soon, you would only be a blurry picture in a string of memories, joining the ranks of his many, many lovers.

He would not suffer too long, if at all. 

He would be fine, knowing that in the end, you still had picked them over him, just like he had initially predicted.

When Jaehyun kissed you goodbye, you were quite sure that this was the last time you would ever see him again despite living next door, which made getting over this breakup even more painful.

Back in your own room, you took off your fake engagement ring and put it into the far corner of a cramped drawer.

Whenever you went to bed the following days, you hoped that noises would start coming out of room 803 again. 

You were scared that without the noises, he would hear you cry yourself to sleep every night until you nearly passed out from exhaustion and only woke up with a swollen face the next morning over the pain of your heart breaking apart.

But no noise could be heard ever again coming out of room 803.

And it broke you even more, knowing he was suffering as much as you.

____

Two months later, in late December, Jaehyun moved out.

You came home to movers carrying box after box out of his apartment. You had lingered a bit longer at your front door, heart pounding at your throat, just to get a glimpse of Jaehyun for one last time. But he had not been present that day. When you left your apartment a few hours later to grab dinner from the convenience store, his room was entirely empty.

According to the semester plan, he must have finished his last exams by now, so he was unofficially done with his bachelor studies. You doubted he would come back for a ceremony in February, so he was free to do whatever he wanted now. Perhaps, he was sitting on a plane to Italy or France at this very moment. 

A few days later, an elderly woman moved into room 803.

And life went on.

____

One year later

“Teacher, what are you going to do during vacation?” one of your students, a four-year-old-boy, asked.

It was the day before winter break, but working for a public kindergarten meant you would at least get a week to yourself during New Year in January apart from desk warming the remaining break. A week in two months of winter break and thanks to public holidays only, but it was better than nothing at all.

“Perhaps,” you answered while putting one hand crafted paper star after another that the children had made for christmas on the classroom’s windows, “I’ll take a little trip.”

“To where?” another girl, one year older, chimed in. “I’m going to Busan to visit my grandmother!”

“I’m going to Busan too!” the boy then announced. “Teacher, have you ever been to Busan?”

You shook your head, reaching for another star he held out to you. “I’ve never come to visit there. Can you recommend it?”

“Yes!” Both children yelled excitedly. 

“Then I’ll ask you where I should visit when I go there!”

They nodded in acknowledgement and returned back to their work which was crafting more stars so that the entire windows would be covered in them by the end of the day. 

Twice a week, the kindergarteners were divided into different groups which either focused on art or music. The main subjects taught were reading, writing and maths. Apart from that, the children had enough free time to enjoy being real children, which they spent playing together, being outside and getting taught other necessary educational topics like brushing teeth and healthy nutrition in a playful way.

In comparison to Shi-A private kindergarten, where the teachers had paid homage to the parents with impressive courses including Chinese and English, topped with real diplomas and graduation ceremonies as well as teachers who had to work all throughout each break, this public school was where you felt you belonged.

This was where you finally felt you could actually support the children like you had always wanted, in an environment safer for them and their teachers.

And that was the very reason why you had never signed the contract for Shi-A elementary school in Busan in the first place.

In fact, you had never planned on doing so. How else would you have convinced Jaehyun to leave after everything? Just because you couldn’t live your dream didn’t mean he shouldn’t either.

You had never picked other people over him, you had always picked him. 

Before you had gone to him to break up, you had thought about the upcoming decision for very long. You had loved those children, but eventually, they would move on and forget you. While you would have been stuck in a slave contract in a worse environment than before with parents from hell. All the money and other benefits could have never made up for the mental suffering.

It had always been your dream to work for a reputable private school, but one day, you had remembered the little girl inside of you who had not wanted reputation and recognition and was only there to help children.

So you had quit altogether.

And then you had eventually landed a job as a teacher at this public kindergarten where the salary was much lower and the commute took over an hour one way, but the work conditions were much better and the teachers and children just as lovely. The parents were not less strict, but tolerable and nobody tried to sabotage anyone.

Yet nowadays, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that this was still not everything to your life as a teacher. This could not be it, there had to be more you could move in this entire system. You just couldn’t point a finger as to what it could be as this was everything you had ever dreamed of having.

“What are you going to do during our time off?” you asked your assistant teacher. 

“I’m going to meet my boyfriend’s family for the very first time, they’ve invited me to spend New Years with them,” she giggled shyly. “I’m so excited. And you?”

You smiled, happy for everyone who had plans except for you. 

“Perhaps, I’m going on a little trip to Busan. I’ve never been there before.”

____

It was already late when you arrived at home, and as always during winter, it was dark outside now as well. 

While you typed in the door code combination, you wondered which convenience store food you would get for dinner today as again, you were too exhausted to cook something yourself. A small vacation would surely help you relax and start into the new semester more fresh. Yes, you should definitely go to Busan.

You halted though when you opened your front door. Had you accidentally left the lights on?

You hurried through the narrow hall, at one point wondering if you had been robbed during your absence when a voice spoke up before you even reached the living room,

“I still remember your passcode from the day I climbed through your window.”

Jaehyun arose from your couch and your breath caught. 

He was still as handsome as the last time you had seen each other over a year ago. Nicely dressed, hair still dark and neatly combed aside. He looked healthy and happy, and it made you happy too to see him like this.

At one point, you had dropped your bag on the floor while you could do nothing else but stare at him and stare, wondering if this was a dream. One of too many from the past year, of which you had never hoped could ever come true.

“What… are you doing here?” You didn’t know what else to say, you had so many questions.

“I’m living here now.” With a grin, he pointed at a suitcase in the corner of the living room. “Temporarily.”

“Well…” You cleared your throat and feigned braveness. “As far as I remember, your room is the one next to mine, room 803.”

“Yeah, but sadly that one is already occupied by a very nice, elderly lady who was quickly able to assure me that you were still living here.”

Before you could think twice, you had already closed the distance between you two, and he held you tightly in his arms, quietly, for a very long time.

“You liar,” Jaehyun eventually said, with no trace of reproach in his tone though, pressing you even closer to his chest. “You big, fat liar. When I called Shi-A elementary school in Busan. They told me they never heard of you, and when I called your former kindergarten, they said you quit a year ago.”

“I’ll take credit for being a liar this time as opposed to you.” You smiled through your tears when Jaehyun gently pushed you away from him and cupped your face. “I didn’t want you to stay here with me. I didn’t want you to give up on your dream just because I did.”

“Say no more. I understand." His expression was so gentle, his face free of any worry and doubt. “I was a regular student with no real perspective and just one dream. You just told me to do what a good teacher would have told all their students. This time, all the trickery rightfully belonged to you, but I would be really happy if we stop that now.”

You nodded, your tears salty against your lips, but Jaehyun kissed them all away from your cheeks. “I’m so glad you came back,” you sobbed.

“I told you I would.”

It had never been only a sliver a hope for him. It had always been a promise.

“But what if I wouldn’t have been here anymore?”

“Then I would have come to Busan or to wherever in the world to get you.”

You blinked through your blurry vision. “To get me where?”

One corner of Jaehyun’s lips tilted up when he let go of you. “Eventually, my parents came to their senses and didn’t abandon me like they always threatened. The longer I traveled and the more people I met, the more I realized that with my background and roots, I am able to achieve something, to change something, and far faster than anyone else. I am so privileged and took it for granted when I can twist it to an advantage instead of being a selfish brat. When I have the possibility and opportunity, I don’t want to throw it away. So halfway through my trip, I was just building connections for my future. I will join my parents’ business after all, but not to work for them, but for myself. I will build my own sister company.”

“Jaehyun, that’s amazing!” you congratulated him. “I’m happy you figured out your future path! I can assure you, you’re going to do such a great job.”

Sometimes, it just took someone a few months off to figure out where they belonged, what they wanted. If he had followed you, he might or might have not come to the same conclusion. You couldn’t figure out an answer. But what mattered was that he had one after all.

“So all throughout your Europe trip, it was not only drinking and girls?” you teased. 

“Please.” He waved aside. “Everyone was annoyed by the fact that I kept talking about one woman only who I would return to eventually.”

You blushed. “Still, you told me you came to take me. To where, tell me?” 

Jaehyun’s expression turned stern, but hopeful. “To the UK. That’s where I want to build my company, kind of like an overseas branch. I still can’t offer you much, but in a few years, I promise you, when my business is flourishing and we live in a nice townhouse in the center of London with a small garden and a dog and children, you won’t regret it. But…” He halted as though a sudden thought had crossed his mind. “But if you have already found someone who can offer just as much now or even better, then I understand if you decline.”

“How many?” you asked while losing a breath you had been holding in.

“What?”

“How many children?”

Perhaps, that was it, what you were missing. Perhaps, you weren’t supposed to work in this environment for the entirety of your life. Perhaps, just like Jaehyun, you were destined for so much more, for another path, and that path was perhaps not etched into the grounds of this country.

How were you supposed to find out if you didn’t try just like he had?

“T-two,” Jaehyun responded, unsure whether it was the right answer.

He could have said one or ten for all you cared. “Sounds good. I should then tell my fiancé our engagement is called off, because he wants three.”

“...what?”

You shook your head and laughed. “There is no fiancé, neither real or fake. There… hasn’t been anyone since you.”

“Good. It’s good to see you so happy and carefree finally.” Jaehyun approached you and put his hands on your waist, drawing you close to him. “And I’m relieved there is no other man. Because when I’m going to propose to you, it’s going to be for real this time.”

A smile radiating pure bliss left your lips when you got on your toes and finally kissed him.

You were blissfully unaware of the fact that Jaehyun had already picked out the ring before he had left the country, one identical to your fake one, just made of platinum and adorned with a real diamond. Princess cut, two carats. Just like you had dreamed of. 

He had carried it with him whenever he went, like a lucky charm.

The ring was a reminder to him that there was always a reason to come back.

Because his future wife was waiting for him, and she deserved everything she had ever dreamed of. 

[solxamber]

Valentines day event woowoowoo (dont burn yourself out aye!!)

Idia, romantic, "absolutely smitten" by Dodie (if i got that right-) :]

Hope it could be a fun one ! Stay safe ayeaye

i love the pining potential in the song!!! hope you like my interpretation of it <3

"I'm absolutely smitten" || Idia Shroud

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: Absolutely Smitten by Dodie

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 670

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers

Idia first sees you during orientation. Not in person, of course—there’s no way he’d willingly subject himself to a room full of loud, unpredictable people—but through his tablet, streaming the event from the safety of his dorm.

It’s routine, really, just scoping out who he’ll inevitably be avoiding for the next few years. But then the camera pans across the crowd, and he sees you.

And something unfamiliar stirs in his chest.

It’s a strange, unquantifiable feeling, something too big for him to handle, too much for his ribs to cage in. His fingers tighten around the tablet as he watches you smile at something someone says, and a thought creeps into his brain before he can stop it.

I wish that were me.

It’s over for him. Absolutely, completely, no-respawn doomed.

And when he actually gets to know you? Oh, he’s done for. Every interaction with you is a critical hit to his heart. You are bright where he is shadowed, warm where he is cold, a force of nature where he is content to be static.

And yet, somehow, you seem to like being around him. You talk to him, seek him out, sit with him even when he fumbles through his words and hides behind his hood.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Idia Shroud, the ghost of Ignihyde, the one who would rather face a boss battle on the highest difficulty than make eye contact with another human being, wants nothing more than to be close to you.

He wants to talk to you about everything that makes his mind race at 3 AM, wants to know what makes you tick, wants to kiss you until he forgets what loneliness feels like.

But he can’t. Because you are you, and he is him, and the idea of ruining what he has with you is a fear greater than any horror game could ever conjure.

So he does nothing. He pines. He wonders.

Are you just being nice?

Would you ever see him that way?

Is he even worth your time?

And yet, he doesn’t know that you are just as smitten.

The day you met him is engraved in your brain like a prophecy fulfilled. You think he’s the one. It sounds ridiculous, impossibly romantic, something straight out of a visual novel, but you can’t shake the feeling that you and Idia are meant to be.

And so, one day, when you’re sitting next to him in his room—shoulders almost touching, his leg bouncing like a loading screen buffering at 99%—you slide a little closer.

“Idia.”

He stiffens. “W-what?”

“I like you.” A pause. “I really like you.”

His brain blue-screens.

You barely have time to process his expression—wide golden eyes, parted lips—before he starts tearing up.

“Wait, wait, are you okay?” You panic, reaching for him, but he shakes his head rapidly, hands clutching his hoodie like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

“You—” His voice cracks. “You actually—?”

You nod. “I mean, yeah. Kinda thought it was obvious.”

Obvious? Obvious? He’s been agonizing over this for months, drowning in his feelings, convinced you were nothing more than a dream he was too scared to wake up from. And yet, here you are, looking at him like he’s the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

He doesn’t know what to say. But you do.

So you pull him into a hug, letting him bury his face in your shoulder as he trembles. His hands hover before finally clutching the fabric of your shirt, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he holds on too tightly.

And for the first time in a long, long time, Idia feels whole.

He pulls back slightly, and when he looks at your soft smile, something inside him clicks into place. He’s never letting you go.

And when you look at his teary-eyed grin, you think the same thing.

Masterlist ; Valentine's Event

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

K follow me Astarion just sees tav like loving on children wherever they go and hes like?????

And tavs like ive always wanted my own child but i didn't wabt to ask you with every

This sends poor starion into a crisis does he was children how many

I think I have followed you. Let's see!

So for this one we got a lil time jump, ambiguous and vague setting and timelines with game spoilers present. M/F pairing because that is my go to and pregnancy is mentioned. Vampiric pregnancy also so there is some weirdness there (i made it up no idea if it's dnd accurate). Vague Tav backstory of a wonderful mother and going off to become a cleric.

~

Astarion was well used to your antics by this point. You had a severe lack of instincts linked to self-preservation, which led to a consistent pattern of doing, frankly, stupid shit. Stupid, but kind. Nothing that Astarion hadn't adapted to, after nearly two years of being attached at the hip you became pretty attuned to your lover's personality.

He could even go as far as to say that he had grown to love your annoying predilection for pious morality. Perhaps he loved talking you out of certain virtuous dangers more, but still. He appreciated who you were, he adored who you were. But Astarion was no saint, despite his insistence on attaching himself to one.

Which is exactly why he was far from amused when you signed him up to babysit a couple of brats. All for acquittances he barely cared about.

But you at least had the good grace to look guilty, "I didn't mean to! But she looked so tired and she said their anniversary was coming up and it's not like we got anything for their wedding-"

That was a nice try, one that Astarion wasn't falling for, "We didn't know of their existence when they got married darling. Just because I can't remember their names doesn't mean you can trick me."

"I'm not trying to trick you!" You whined, arms crossed as you pouted. It sure felt like a trick, especially when Astarion knew that you were well-aware how easily he fell for your sulking. Adorable little monster that you were, "It's only three kids and a baby for one night, it won't be that bad! You don't even have to help-"

Astarion rolled his eyes as he sat next to you on the bed, "I didn't say I wouldn't help."

That seemed to do the trick to get the pout off of your face. You perked up immediately, looking at him like you couldn't quite believe it, "Really?"

"Yes, really," Astarion sighed as you tugged you closer. Sure he liked to bitch, but he really would do anything for you. Even extremely annoying things like this, "I'm not going to sit back and feed you to the wolves."

"They're not wolves! The oldest is barely five," You laughed as you let him manhandle you, settling you into his lap, "And I am sorry, I really wasn't thinking. I promise it won't happen again."

Astarion doubted that, not when he was well-versed of your weak spot for children. No matter where you went you couldn't help but fawn over them, not to mention the insane lengths you would go to keep any child safe. It was a complete and utter blind spot, your kindness extending to them all, even the little scam artists and hellions.

It was sweet, if not extremely worrying at first. Astarion had been terrified of you finding out his past. The things that he had been forced to do, the innocents whose lives he had destroyed. But not only did you find out, you were forced to see it. Both of you were, and it had been worse than anything Astarion could have imagined. He had always found a slight comfort knowing that those he captured would at least die quickly, that at the very least they wouldn't suffer the same agonizing fate as he, just an agonizing death. But no, even that small comfort had been a lie. The horror of finding them all down there has yet to be matched. He had never felt more self-loathing, more pure disgust than the moment he had found those children, tortured and pale, all because of him.

How you didn't see him for the wretched thing he was after all that, Astarion wasn't sure. But he was grateful. You were too good for him. A fact that he was devastatingly aware of, but that wasn't going to stop him from keeping you.

He still thinks about it on occasion, despite the fact that he had done all he could to right his wrongs. They all at least had a chance now to have a life worth living, Astarion could only hope that it would be used. Their future was out of his hands now, a small comfort.

But despite his complicated feelings towards children, he was more than capable of handling them for one evening. And in all honesty, he truly didn't have to do much. He was on self-mandated baby duty, because of course you had to help out the infant that would scream bloody murder unless it was being held. Keeping her tucked against him was a move of self-preservation, if he ever wanted to retain his hearing.

Most of the night was spent amused as he watched you entertain a gaggle of toddlers. You were so... creative with the ways you could defuse their antics. It came to you so naturally, nearly like you were a born mother yourself. It wasn't exactly surprising that you were fantastic with children, he had seen it time and time again. Arabella, Mol, Yenna, all of which still wrote you letters, visited occasionally. Staying forever attached, even from a distance.

Now that Astarion thought about it, it was odd that you weren't a mother. Odder still that you hadn't never even brought up the possibility of having children together. You were usually so open with your wants and always encouraging the same from him. Just one more thing he loved about you. But... why hadn't it been mentioned? Astarion had always assumed it was because you didn't truly want any of your own, that you enjoyed their fun innocence while avoiding the more laborious responsibility of raising them.

Though watching you take care of them all, changing diapers and negotiating silly arguments with a soft smile of your face had him rethinking his assumption.

"You're good with them," Astarion said eventually after you had successfully set the older three down for the night, the baby still stubbornly clinging to him, "I don't think there's a child we've met that doesn't adore you."

You laughed quietly, walking over to kiss him softly on the cheek. Your eyes wandered to the sleeping infant in his arms, still holding a piece of his shirt in it's little fist, "You don't seem to be too bad with them either."

"Newborns don't know any better," Astarion dismissed as he tried to put her down in their borrowed crib. Tried and failed, considering how the thing immediately started to whine the second he attempted to pry it's little hand away.

Oh for fuck's sake. Astarion wasn't even going to try and argue. Instead he unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall into the crib with her, seemingly doing the trick of stopping her from waking completely.

When he turned back you were staring at him with soft eyes, looking lovestruck at the simple act of him laying a child down, "Looks like she has pretty good taste to me."

"I don't think your judgment should be trusted," Astarion huffed as he walked over to you, grabbing your hand to drag you to the bedroom. He glanced back at you, his heart nearly skipping a beat from the sweet way you kept looking at him. It had his mind wandering again, those questions still nagging him.

Questions that he didn't have the courage to ask until dead of night, when he had you half asleep against his bare chest, "Have you ever thought of having children?"

He hadn't meant to blurt that out in the middle of the night, but Astarion apparently had a knack for starting important conversations at inconvenient times. Not that you minded.

You just cuddled into him closer, nodding against him with a sigh, "I've always wanted my own children. My own mother, Gods bless her soul, made it all sound so magical. Pregnancy, the early years, puberty, all of it. She loved it all. And I guess it rubbed off on me. It used to be all I could think about, before real life got in the way."

Astarion listened, a little annoyed at himself for not putting the pieces together sooner. You had talked so lovingly about your late parents, how you always wanted to be like your mother. Of course you would want children. How had he not connected the dots?

"But then I went off to the temple," You continued, "I completed my training, went off into the world to do good, blah, blah, blah. You know the story."

"So you grew out of the idea?" Astarion asked.

"Not exactly," You admitted, sounding a little guilty, "But I would never ask that of you love, it's not something you have to worry about."

That-what?

Astarion stared down at you, brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"I mean I know that the topic of children is... difficult for you. Considering everything you've been through-"

"I think you mean to say everything I've inflicted on others," Astarion interrupted, unwilling to allow himself grace. Especially when it came to the children of the Gur, "It was much worse for them than me."

You nodded, knowing better than to try and fight him on that particular topic, "I understand, but my point is that I can live without them. You're all I need."

It was comforting to hear, an immediate balm to a brand new set of insecurities that Astarion hadn't been prepared for. But even so... he hated the idea of you sacrificing even more for him. It felt wrong, "But-"

"But nothing," You interrupted softly, setting a quick kiss to his mouth, I'm serious Astarion, you don't need to worry. I'm happy, I love you, and everything is fine."

"I love you too," Astarion murmured, at a loss to say anything else. But the conversation didn't end there.

Astarion couldn't stop thinking about it, even long after the temporary children were sent back home. ou seemed so... sure that he didn't want children, and a week ago he probably would have agreed. But that was back before he knew that he was actively keeping you away from something you wanted. Something you had dreamed about since you were a child. And it felt wrong to be the reason for that, so, so wrong.

He didn't even know if his true feelings on the matter were real. He didn't want children for many of the same reasons he never wanted a partner. The attachment to another was dangerous, he was beyond unequipped to deal with others, let alone care for them, and the entire ideology behind love was ripe for manipulation and heart break. But then he met you and everything changed. Suddenly, caring for another didn't feel like a weakness, it felt like the strongest aspect of his entire self. Taking care of you wasn't an unwanted duty, it was intimacy. Something that he now craved. If all of those steadfast ideals could fall apart simply through meeting you, whose to say he could even trust himself when it came the thoughts around having a child?

Would having one truly be so bad? A little piece of the two of you, alive in the world? And perhaps children were annoying but... Astarion would be lying if he said he didn't have a soft spot for them. He had kept his distance before, but now he was fully confident that he wasn't a danger, no with Cazador burned to nothing bus ash and his own bloodlust well controlled. And it's not as if he was incapable of being a father, worse men than him did it everyday.

It was a confusing place to be, this tightwire of indecisiveness. Confusing enough for him to start a bit of research. He was vaguely aware that it was possible for his kind to breed, but finding out the details was disheartening, to say the least. First he had to parse out the different horror stories of babes eating their way out of their mother's wombs with actual facts, which wasn't exactly pleasant. But the truth was that it was more than possible for the two of you to have child together. It had the potential to either be as noneventful as any pregnancy, with the cavate that the babe coming out looking slightly... dead wouldn't be a permanent state of being. Or it could be as risky as carrying a child could be, with pains and complications galore, even legitimate worries of internal bleeding from the wretched thing prematurely growing claws. Not to mention the occasional, intense blood lust that could occur, an experience that Astarion would prefer you didn't have to go to.

Looking into the reality of the choice didn't help as much as he had assumed it would. If anything it just made the whole situation more real. Even if he wasn't a vampiric spawn, childbirth was risky. Maybe not as risky for you considering how Astarion would move the heavens and hells to get you the best care possible, but still. The thought of you passing, leaving him alone with the child you wanted and would never see, would destroy him. Completely and utterly.

But then again... there was the magical alternative of everything working out just fine. The two of you were both beyond lucky in that regard, considering how you'd overcome mind flayer parasites and fought and won against a near god. It was more than possible that everything would be fine, that you would have a beautiful pregnancy that would end in an even more amazing child. Then two would become three, a family of his very own.

That... didn't sound too bad. Astarion was torn. On one hand, he was almost certain that he was willing to go through with it. Not just because he loved you and wanted you to be happy, though it was the main reason. But also because... he could be a part in making something good. A child that would never suffer the way he did, the way countless others had. One who would be loved, who would have the help they needed for their inevitable unholy hungers. Someone precious for the two of you to fret over, to adore and care for. He... wanted that. Or at least he would if you still did. Now if he could just figure out how to bring it up, maybe something could actually happen.

But luckily enough for him, you did the job for him. He had been pouring over another book dedicated to recording the births of Dhampirs in the area, only to be distracted by you loudly sighing behind him.

"What's wrong love?" Astarion asked, his eyes still scanning the page in front of him.

"Oh I don't know," You sighed, rounding the corner to sit on the edge of his desk, "I just can't help but wonder when you're going to explain why you've suddenly become obsessed with parenting books. And..."

You trailed off, ignoring his surprised expression to read the cover of what was in front of him, "'Vampiric and Mortal Love & The Spawn They Create'. It's not exactly your usual reading material."

Part of Astarion wanted to be surprised that you had already figured him out. He had at least been trying to hide things from you slightly, not that it mattered when you could read him like a book. And he supposed that blatantly reading things like this in front of you would eventually have an effect, even if he tried to obscure the titles.

But that didn't stop him from stuttering through a response, "Well-I, okay. I've just been thinking about options lately. Which you can't really do if you don't understand what they are. Hence the books."

You frowned at him, one leg crossed over the other, "Star, I already told you that you don't need to worry-"

"But I want to worry," Astarion interrupted, deciding that ripping the band-aid off would be the best course of action, "And if there is something I can be doing to make you happier than I should at least consider it."

"I'm not going to force you into this for that," You said softly, reaching out to twine his fingers against yours, "This isn't the kind of thing you do just for someone else."

Astarion was aware of that, there was an important truth to your words. But... "What if it wasn't just for you?"

You paused, your brow furrowed as you stared at him, "What do you mean?"

"I mean what if, and consider this purely hypothetical, what if I wanted one as well. What then?" It was as far from hypothetical as Astarion could get, but by the look on your face it didn't seemed like that needed to be clarified.

You swallowed, looking just shy of hopeful as you played with his hand, "I... well. I guess in that case we would have a lot to talk about."

That wasn't quite the answer he was looking for. He pressed on, "So if in theory, I did want one. Would... you still be interested in having one?"

With me?

He left that part unsaid as he waited for an answer, uncharacteristically nervous as you mulled it over. But you were smiling, bright and wide, giving his hand a little squeeze as you spoke, "I think that would be the only scenario where I would want it. If that's something you wanted."

"I think it is," Astarion answered honestly, done with being coy, "I don't know how, I... I'm not quite sure how I feel about you carrying something that could be dangerous. But... in general yes. I think I want this. I do want this. With you and only you. Whenever your ready."

The next part Astarion did see coming, his arms already open by the time you launched yourself at him. You straddled his lap, kissing every part of his face as you babbled, "We can wait! It doesn't need to be now but-I just-yes! Adoption, childbirth, I don't care. All I need is to have them with you. That's all I want."

"And that I can give," Astarion laughed, delighted at your reaction. He still had concerns, plenty of them in fact, but they were hard to consider when the woman he adored was so ecstatic.

He gripped your chin, chuckling at the whine you let out for him interrupting your onslaught of affection. You didn't have to wait long, not when he directed your mouth against his, kissing you deeply as a new wave of exciting, and slightly nauseating feelings worked through him.

He didn't know exactly what was going to happen in the future. He had no idea if he would be a good father, but he knew that he would try his damndest. He didn't know how the two of you would even procure a child, but he did no one thing.

With you by his side, it would work out. All of it, no matter how hard the road turned out to be. And that was all that mattered.

[first-time-fanfic-writer]

König and bondage

Warnings: bondage (könig is tied up), female reader, riding, p in v, pain during sex

A/n: if in real life a guy doesn't slow down or be gentle when you ask, DUMP HIM

König can't bring himself to not rail you during sex, once he is inside you he can't hold himself back. He fucks your pussy raw until you are sore for days. It feels good for both of you, but not so much the next day. So one day you both decide to tie his hands to a headboard so you can go slower but things don't quite go according to plan.

With könig restricted to the headboard with fluffy pink handcuffs, you begin stripping at the foot of the bed while könig watches.

"fuck baby, stop teasing me" he growls out as you strip to slowly for his liking when you are fully naked, you make your way to his naked, exposed form. Usually könig would have you pinned and stretched around his cock by now, it's nice to have control and go slower. You jack him off while sucking on his tip gently, enjoying giving him pleasure without hurting your throat.

"take- take it deeper. Now" könig growls and thrusts up into your throat, getting antsy when he can't fuck your throat.

"patience baby" you hum, pulling your mouth away and climbing up higher. To be entirely honest, the power feels nice, being able to control a giant military man is good for the ego. You rub your heat against his throbbing cock, not putting him inside yet. Just when he goes to complain, you begin pressing hit tip into your cunt, groaning softly when it pops into you.

"just, fuck schatzchen you feel good, take it deeper, take it all the way. now" he growls out, partially using his military voice to command you on his cock. The handcuffs scrape against your headboard as he pulls on his restraints. This is more agonizing than any form of torture he's experienced in his many years in the military. He wants, he needs to rail you into the mattress and he can't.

At this moment you realize just how big his dick is as you struggle to impale yourself on him. The sting isn't as pleasurable as usual and your thighs shake and cramp at the strain of hovering over his length.

"kö I can't, fuck" soft whimpers leave your mouth as you try and fail to sink down on his length. You find yourself begging him to take you, despite knowing he can't grab you. He tries to fuck into you, but can't find the leverage to sink into you as deep as he needs.

"princess, need you to sink deeper. Drop onto me girl, I know you can" he finds himself growing impatient as his cock is uncomfortably cold, your slick dripping down his exposed dick. The sound of wood scraping and creaking fills the room. In your desperate haze you can't quite place what's happening until a loud snap resonates through the air.

"there we go princess, can finally fuck you how you deserve." His chained hands grip your waist and slam you down on his length. He plants his feet on the mattress and fucks up into you as you moan and keen in pleasure.

Sweat lays hair down on königs forehead from excursion as he fucks you from underneath you. His hands squeeze your waist as he slams you down on him, your ass meeting his thighs with each thrust. He feels you so deep his pubic bone grinds against your clit. One of his hands travels down your body to circle your clit and bring you closer to your release.

"cum on my dick schatz, be a good girl and cum for me." He circles your clit faster as his hips begins stuttering their thrusts as he gets closer. After some more rough fucking, you cum on his dick. As your pussy spasms around him, he is pushed over the edge and cums inside of you.

"that's it princess, yeah cum on my cock" he fucks you both through your high. After you both come down from your intense orgasm, he cradles you against his chest to hold you close. As you both pant with him slowly softening inside of you, the realization that your bedframe is broken causes you to sigh.

"and now I need a new bedframe." However you can't bring yourself to be upset after that good fucking. You cuddle into his chest, deciding to deal with the bedframe issue another day.

[corroded-hellfire]

Passing Through - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Being the new kid in a small town like Hawkins is tough. One late October day though, you meet Eddie, and he’s always looking out for those lost sheep.

Note: Happy Halloween 🎃

Words: 2.8k

In the great game of life, you have been given a shitty hand of cards to play this round. Starting at a new high school for junior year is an agonizing yet hazy experience. You have to start over in a place where cliques have already formed, and most people have known each other since kindergarten. The best shot you have at making friends is praying there are souls kind enough to include you in their group. Or maybe there are other pariahs you could collect along the way and have your own island of misfit toys.

On the other hand, even if this experience is completely horrible, it’s only a short two years that you have to endure it. It will feel like a lifetime, but maybe you could keep your head down and push through. 

School has been in session for about two months now. The leaves are changing to the browns, reds, and yellows that always accompany the smell of fireplaces burning for the first time in months and the sickly sweet scent of apple and pumpkin permeating everything. 

Late October is always a nice chance to wear comfy sweaters and cute scarves, bundling up as you take in the views of this time of year. Jack-o-lanterns litter the sidewalks, a few even placed around the high school campus. Children laughing and jumping in any pile of leaves that would permit them to make a mess. The outside aesthetic clashes with the churning, icy storm inside of you. 

There are a few people you’ve met that you’d consider friends, yet not anyone you feel you can confide in about how alien you feel around the other teens of this small town. 

Of course, there are mean girls everywhere and they never miss a chance to pounce on fresh meat. You’ve lost count of the things you heard said about you, but some of them even made you laugh. You wish you were cool enough to be here because your family is on the run. At least it would be something exciting. It’s also better than the other rumor that you taxidermy animals in your basement and now you’re looking for people to practice on. Someone obviously watched Psycho the night before they came up with that one.

Once in a while you’ve tried to sit with some of the friends you made at lunch, but you always felt out of place. You decided to start exploring the school during your lunch period instead. Sometimes you’d have your sandwich on the bleachers in the gym or have your cup of noodles under the large oak tree next to the science building. 

Today, there’s a gentle breeze and, bundled up in your soft brown sweater, you decide to perch yourself on the short wall in front of the school. You settle yourself on the sun-faded bricks and open your lunch on your lap. Students go by, some of them in a hurry, some of them looking like they’d rather be anywhere else. It’s nice to people watch; sometimes it makes you feel less alone. You take a bite out of your peanut butter sandwich and let your eyes slip closed. The wind ruffles your sweater and brings a smile to your face as it kisses your skin. When you open your eyes, you’re greeted by a scene of two basketball players seeing who can burp the loudest. 

With a sigh you take another bite of your sandwich. Is there anyone at this school that will just get you?

As the thought crosses your mind, you feel a heavy weight plop down next to you on the wall. You turn your head and see the cutest guy you’ve seen yet in Hawkins. His curly hair is frizzy, but in the most endearing of ways. The brown of his eyes perfectly matches the atmosphere of autumn around you. But it’s his smile that has your heart racing. It’s big, bright, and most important of all, it’s genuine. 

“Ah, I can spy a fellow Hawkins outcast when I see one.”

Warmth burns your cheeks simply by making eye contact and having this man speak to you. The air around you might be getting cooler, but your body is heating up. It makes sense; he’s really cute. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s me.”

“New kid?” He leans back and narrows his eyes slightly, as if he’s appraising you, but in a joking manner.

“As I’ll probably be referred to until I graduate, yes,” you admit with a breathy chuckle. He laughs in return, and it sounds like music, the melody of it being swept away by the breeze. 

“I was known as the ‘freak’ to most people. You’d think ‘Eddie’ was merely a suggestion of what to call me, not my actual goddamn name,” he says with an overdramatic shrug of his shoulders. “Didn’t really bother me after a while.”

“I wish I didn’t let things get to me as much as they do,” you admit. Why? You’re not sure. Maybe because this is the first person in Hawkins that seems to be interested in what you have to say. Eddie smiles and shakes his head, eyes turning down to gaze at his lap. 

“The assholes aren’t worth it.” Eddie waves a dismissive hand in the air, multiple chunky rings glinting in the afternoon sunlight. “But trust me, you find the right friends, and everything will be smooth sailing. They’ll have your back, and you’ll have theirs—none of the other shit matters.”

“You’re pretty wise, Eddie.”

“Don’t know if I’ve ever been called that before,” he tells you through a guffaw of laughter. 

“Well, it’s fitting,” you say. 

“Eddie the Wise,” he tries out the name, but wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “Nah, doesn’t work.”

“I like your pick necklace,” you say, just trying to keep talking and have Eddie here for as long as you can. 

“Huh?” He looks down at it. “Oh, thanks. You like music? Good music, I should say. Because I’ve got the all-time best band right here.”

Eddie shrugs off his denim vest layered over a leather jacket, your eyes trailing every movement his body makes. Bare, pale arms come into view once he’s finally rid himself of the article of clothing. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the dark ink that contrasts against his alabaster skin. A small colony of bats taking flight. 

“Ta-da,” Eddie says, presenting his Metallica t-shirt to you and bringing you back to reality.

“Not bad, not bad,” you acquiesce, once you’ve refocused.

Eddie just grins and puts his layers of clothing back on. 

A couple of cheerleaders walk by and look you up and down, trying to be as obvious as possible about it. Because they know it will get even more under your skin, they lower their heads and start whispering together.

Eddie gives them a saccharine smile and flips them off as they go by. It makes you giggle, and it brings you satisfaction that those girls didn’t rob you of your happy afternoon. 

“Take it from me,” Eddie says with a sigh. “You’re gonna be just fine here in Hawkins. This school is a shit show, but it has its bright spots. Friends mostly. Clubs—you should look into those for sure. Some teachers aren’t half bad either. Take Mr. H. He’s a bit of a smartass, but he’s a good guy.”

“Yeah, I have him for physics and he’s great.”

The corners of Eddie’s mouth quirk up in a smirk and he pushes himself off the wall.

“Well, as much as I’d love to stay and chat with you—and seriously, I really wish I could—I’m not even supposed to be here right now.”

“Oh, you don’t have this lunch period?” you ask.

“Nah,” Eddie says as he slides his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. “I’m supposed to be somewhere, doing something, I don’t know.” Eddie’s lackadaisical nature makes you giggle. “But I saw a pretty girl sitting here all by herself and I took a detour.”

His words make you feel flushed and flustered, unable to come up with anything to say in response. Eddie goes to walk away but turns back and gives you a smile; almost as bright as the very first one he gave you. 

“Everything’s gonna be alright. This is your year. I can feel it.” He offers you a quick wink then he’s on his way.

The bell rings, breaking you out of your daze watching Eddie walk away. You hasten to clean up from your lunch so you can make it on time to your French class on the other side of campus. 

When you’ve got everything situated and ready to get to class, you look around but there’s no sign of Eddie. No curly hair, no dark delicious eyes, nothing. 

In class, it’s a fight not to tap your pencil against your desk incessantly. You’re itching to ask someone, anyone, if they know Eddie and where you can find him. At this moment more than ever you wish you’d made better friends here already. 

Screw it, you think as the bell rings to signal the end of the class. I’ve got to ask about him. 

“Mrs. Daaé?” 

Your petite French teacher gives you a kind smile. “Yes, dear?” 

“Do you know a student named Eddie?” You feel so stupid asking this; asking a teacher if she knows anything about the cute boy who came and talked to you.

Mrs. Daaé thinks for a moment, her long mauve fingernails tapping against the top of her desk.

“I don’t believe I do,” she says with a sympathetic smile. When you’re the new kid you get used to people giving you that look very quickly. 

“That’s okay,” you say, eager to be out of there. “Thank you anyway.”

It’s the same answer from everyone you talk to. The few friends you’ve made, people who sit near you in class, even your teachers. No one seems to know who this guy is or have any idea what you’re talking about. 

By the time you get to your last class of the day, you’re half convinced that you’re crazy. Gone mad, absolutely bonkers. 

Physics isn’t your favorite class, but it does have your favorite teacher, so that’s something. 

You pay enough attention to get by, but your mind constantly wanders back to the only person to make you feel welcome in this town. 

The sound of your name jars you out of your thoughts. You look up and realize the last students from your class are walking out the door. Now that you think about it, you did hear the final bell ring, it just didn’t register. 

“Sorry,” you say, but you’re not sure who to. Your teacher who snapped you out of your daze? The students you’ve been bombarding with questions today?  

Maybe you should ask this teacher. It’s the last one of the day, you might as well. But you also don’t want to look like an idiot again. 

“Something I can help you with?” The soft voice and kind smile shake you out of your thoughts. You’re the only student left in the room.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry,” you repeat the apology. As you step out the door, you change your mind, remembering Eddie referenced “Mr. H.” Taking a deep breath, you turn around and walk back into the classroom. “A-Actually… Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I talked with this guy today, outside while I was eating my lunch. He was really nice—nicer than any of the other kids have been since I came here, honestly. But when I’ve asked around about him, no one knows who he is. He seemed to know you, though.”

Your teacher’s eyebrows furrow together, and he sits down in his chair behind the desk. “What’s his name?”

“Eddie.”

He shakes his head as he thinks. “I don’t know if we even have an Eddie in this school. We’ve got Ed Sweeney, the football coach. But I doubt it was him.”

“No,” you say with a disappointed, but not surprised, sigh. It’s the same answer you’ve been getting all day. “This was definitely a student. Curly hair down to his shoulders. Big, infectious smile, a dark red pick on a chain around his neck…”

Your teacher’s eyes widen exponentially, and you must give him an odd look without realizing it because he quickly composes himself and clears his throat. 

“Did he, um, have any tattoos?” the teacher asks. 

“Yeah!” You get excited, this being the first real hint of someone knowing what you’re talking about. “He had a bunch of bats—”

“On his right forearm?”

“Yes! That’s him!”

Your teacher slumps back in his seat and rubs his hand over his eyebrows.

“Holy shit,” he mutters under his breath. You’re surprised to hear that kind of talk from a teacher; you’re not even sure if you were meant to hear it or not. 

“Is everything okay?” you ask timidly.

A grin from ear to ear looks back up at you and your teacher leans forward on his desk, resting on his elbows. 

“You talked to him today?”

“Yes. I don’t understand, what’s–”

Before you can finish your question, he’s shuffling in his pocket and pulling out his phone. Frantically, he starts to look for something on it, obviously searching for something he deems as important as his fingers tap against the screen. Evidently, he finds what he’s looking for because his search comes to an end, and he takes a deep breath. The phone clacks down gently onto the wood of the desk and he slides it in your direction.

“Was this him?”

You take a few steps closer to the desk and peer down at the screen. Looking back at you is Eddie, tongue sticking out and hand held up in devil’s horns, standing beside your teacher–only much, much younger.

“W-What is this?”

“Is this him?” His voice is firm, but not aggressive.

“Yes, but I’m confused.” If you thought your brain was already jumbled up from no one knowing who you were talking about today, now it feels like it was put in a blender and puréed. 

“This is unbelievable,” your teacher mumbles, a smile starting to appear on his face once again. “Still taking care of lost sheep, huh?” The question is obviously not directed at you.

Confusion is starting to turn to irritation, and it isn’t like your favorite teacher to not answer your questions. He’s always willing to explain things as many times as needed in class.

“Mr. Henderson, what’s going on?”

The initial response is a chuckle and shake of his head, clearly amused by something.

“Eddie Munson. He, uh, used to go here.”

“Did he graduate?” You try to hide the pang of disappointment in your voice that he isn’t a fellow student anymore. 

The smile on Mr. Henderson’s face turns melancholic.

“Yeah. Yeah, he graduated.” Your teacher is clearly lost in a memory, and you can’t tell by his expression if it’s a happy one or a sad one. 

Now you can’t help but feel a little petty and whiney about the one person who seemed to understand you not being around. In spite of yourself, you frown and cross your arms over your chest.

“Why was he here?” you can’t help but ask, poking the bruise.

Mr. Henderson seems stumped by this question at first. He thinks for a silent moment, then his eyes spark as if something just came to him.

“Probably here to give me a message.” He doesn’t elaborate on that before looking back up at you. “Eddie doesn’t…live around here anymore. He was probably just passing through.”

“Somehow he could tell I was the new kid,” you say with a slightly embarrassed shrug—as if being the new kid is something people can smell on you.

“Yeah, Eddie always had a knack for finding new kids. Even kids who’ve been here for years but didn’t have many friends.”

“He definitely came to the right person then,” you admit sadly. In front of anyone else you would feel stupid speaking these thoughts out loud, but Mr. Henderson has seemed like a safe place ever since you arrived at Hawkins High. 

The man tilts his head and gives you a look of understanding—but not sympathy, like everyone else.

“Making friends can be hard. I was lucky I had friends coming into this school with me. Even so, I’m glad that Ed—uh, this upperclassman took me under his wing. Made a world of difference. Joined a club and made tons of new friends.”

The words spark a memory from your earlier conversation.

“Eddie mentioned that, actually. That I should join a club or something.”

Mr. Henderson chuckles softly to himself and mumbles of course he did under his breath. You’re not sure what’s so funny but it seems impolite to ask.

“I think that’s a great idea,” he says. He stands up from his chair and narrows his eyes. “I think I have a pretty good recommendation, too. Tell me, do you know anything about Dungeons and Dragons?”

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐌𝐞 🔞

You thought you knew he only wanted sex. He thought you knew he wanted love. Who's gonna break first- and who's gonna pick up the pieces?

Tags/Warnings: PWP, messy sex oop, emotions, hurt & Comfort, major angst, minor manhandling, multiple rounds mentioned

Length: 2.3k words

A/N: someone send help I can't write smut no more I'm sorry

━━━━━━━━━━.~°💔°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

In the beginning, it wasn't supposed to be like this. Really- it wasn't.

Jungkook and you had been nothing but friends, casual ones that would mostly text and sometimes meet up for the odd takeout and drink at either his place or yours. And then, one day, it really kind of just.. happened.

For you, it was clear that he didn't mean it in a sense of 'hey, I love you' because he litereally told you so straight up the next morning. He'd stood up, got dressed, thanked you for letting him stay over, and made sure to tell you that this wasn't him confessing to you in a fuckboy'ish way or anything. That he was totally 'cool' with just staying friends and nothing more.

You had laughed it off. Had said almost nothing. You just took the hit silently, and let him walk out of your apartment, only to have him return a week later.

And the same happened again. You ate, drank, and end up having sex- and while this time it had been on the couch instead of your bed, it still turned out the same the next morning. He'd leave, thank you for staying over, only to text you a few days later if you wanted to hang out at his place.

And there too, he'd end up with his dick inside you. His bed had been comfortable, even if he lacked pillows for some odd reason. It was still nice. And this time, something was different.

This time, it was you who thanked him for letting you stay over, before you'd left.

The same game, simply with reversed players. Nothing new- it just looked like it. And now, after a year of playing this, you're yet again entangled with him in his bed, though he actually owns a few pillows now after noticing your complaints about his lack of them. You slept in the same bed after all, whenever you'd stay over- and while he hoped you'd at some point at least try to cuddle up to him, use him as a pillow, you hadn't. You'd rather accepted the sore neck you'd get the next morning, instead of showing him any kind of domestic affection outside of sex.

And he's not sure how long he can take it.

There's only so much he can do. So much he can offer. So much he can sacrifice for you.

He's unable to keep his hands to himself, uses them to push your wrists into the mattress below instead as he clenches his jaw, grits his teeth under the pressure of his own muscles aching already. He doesn't know how far he needs to go, how hard he needs to fuck your brains out so you understand that it's him who's making your mind spin. Him who wants to offer you so much more than just his dick down your throat or shoved inside your cunt. He could give you so much more than just purple marks on your skin, could give you a lot more lasting things than just a fleeting bruise.

You just won't let him.

And its agonizing.

He doesn't know what to do at this point to show you what he wants, because your eyes are always closed, no matter what. If not physically, then mentally- you don't ever look at him, never see him, all while he can't look away, has to watch every breath of yours. He knows he's not a perfect guy. He's got his flaws, a lot of them, but that can't be the reason you just won't love him.

Because in your touch, in your kisses, in the way you cling to him, he can feel it. It's not just lust and desire that's making you feel like this, he knows that. He just knows- but you act like there's nothing.

You pretend nothing is going on, you just keep your hands over your eyes and never spot the way he kneels in front of your feet, offering his heart clawed straight out of his chest. As if what you do is nothing but a stale job to get done, something not worth much more effort than necessary. A normal 9 to 5 that pays the bills.

And if that's what this is, he wants to be fired.

Because he surely isn't able to quit on his own.

But that's the thing- every time you give him the chance to leave, he just can't let it happen. And neither do you stay away from him for long either. If he doesn't reply to a message you send him for more than a day or two, you'll call him, worried tone in your voice while asking if he's alright. And it hurts, because he feeds off of those moments every single time like a drug addict, wants and needs your attention and has started to ignore you just to get that reaction in return. He knows it's cruel, that at this point you're more than toxic towards one another, but he needs you.

And it's clear that you need him too- you just refuse to admit that.

"Jungkook-" You gasp out when he pushes himself in deep, arms growing tired from the by now third round of lovemaking he's tied you up in. But he can't stop- he doesn't want to. The moment he's done with you, the moment he lets go, you'll leave.

And tonight, he can't handle that. Tonight is his breaking point.

"Jungkook I can't-" You start, but he instead leans back on his heels, pulls your legs over his thighs, before he pushes his length that had slipped out back in, hips lifting before he gathers the last ounces of strength once more. A hand on your cunt spreads the mess he'd made with you around, thumb pressing and circling over your red and swollen bundle of nerves, pushing you towards one last peak with him.

He knows it's ending. He can feel his muscles burn.

So he uses your limp and pleasure-paralyzed body to his advantage, as he moves his hands to pull your back towards him instead, having you sit on him instead, his arms around you, your face in his neck. He hisses a little at the feeling of your hand tugging his hair, the other scratching his back for just a second, as you spasm once more, core clenching around his by now painfully sensitive cock.

His last orgasm is empty, he's got nothing left to give-

and he notices the way you both shiver, just not from the cold.

And if this is the last time, he wants to be stupid- he wants to be selfish, and he wants to at least pretend for a moment while you're still out of it that he's got you. That you want him even if you're not just fucking.

His lips kiss the salty skin of the crook of your neck, up to right underneath your ear, as he leaves his head there, breathes in your scent. His arms hold you close, length softening inside you, cum and arousal leaking and causing a weird slippery sensation on the skin of his thighs. And then, you try to move. "Don't-" He mumbles, voice hoarse. "..not yet."

You're quiet, feeling a bit panicked. You need him to let go of you, right now. Because the way his hot breath fans over your skin, the feeling of his arms hot around you, the sensation of his body so close is making you delirious. It's causing your fucked up brain to come up with dangerously domestic scenes of a post-sex shower with him, where you both fail to stand up for long enough to get yourselves clean, so you have to rather take a bath and laugh about the trembling of your muscles as you somewhat clumsily make yourselves at home in the warm soapy water. It creates a dream where you sleep next to him tonight, only dressed in barely any clothes so you can feel as close as you can throughout the night, his heavy body clinging to yours at some point, raspy voice greeting you with a good morning the next time you both wake up. It paints a picture of breakfast together, of a playful argument with him about the muscle ache you both have from the excessive amount of lovemaking you both just did.

But it's not lovemaking. You two simply fuck- you don't make love.

"Jungkook, I'm all gross-" You whine, trying to push him, when you suddenly feel it as he holds you even tighter, face resting on your shoulder. He's shaking, but not from the exhaustion of his muscles.

He's crying, quietly, trying hard not to have you notice.

It confuses you. You're not sure what to do, so for now, you just lean into him, rest your own head on his shoulder, and interlace your hands behind his back as you relax. "Don't do that.." He suddenly says, shaking his head and leaning away from you. No you're definitely confused. "I can't.."

"Jungkook what's wrong?" You ask, as he takes in a deep breath to calm himself, hands wiping his face almost aggressively. "What's going on?"

"You should go shower now." He mumbles, not looking at you as he cringes a little when he finally slips out of you, sitting on the edge of the bed, before his hands rub his arms, muscles probably aching already. "Do you need me to drive you home?" He wonders, and you just sit on the bed, watching him.

It's silent, for a good while, until he finally turns a little to look at you.

And you've never really seen anything that physically hurts you so much as his face in this moment, heart dropping down towards hell, ice cold shock running up your spine at the pure exhaustion on his face. But it's not physical exhaustion you see. No- whatever it is, it's something else.

"Jungkook.. talk to me-" You try, but he scoffs, shakes his head.

"I don't want to." He denies, getting up to walk into the bathroom, where he turns on the lights and starts the shower. You feel oddly small in his apartment, weirdly out of place as you look around, surroundings unfamiliar now that you actually look at them. Have you ever really looked at his apartment? Or just the ceiling at max?

Then again, why would you? Jeon Jungkook doesn't do relationships, and you know this because he told you. Numerous times. So why is he so distressed today?

When he walks back out, you quietly wobble into the bathroom yourself, get clean and get out once more to see him already changing the sheets, angrily throwing the soiled one's to the floor. It's clear that something's off this time, and you're at fault- but you're not sure what you've done.

So you just sit down on the floor with crossed legs, butt cold on the ground since you're only wearing panties and a shirt of his you found.

"There's sweatpants in the hamper. They're clean." He mumbles, not sparing you a glance. "You can wear those. I'll drive you home in a second-"

"I don't wanna go home." You say, making his movements stutter.

"What?" He turns towards you, eyes all puffy from his earlier emotional break.

"I don't wanna go home." You repeat. "Not until you tell me what's wrong." You say, and he shakes his head, pulling the bedsheet over the mattress, groaning angrily when it slips up on another corner, undoing most of his work. You, instead, laugh a little, getting up slowly to walk over and help him.

He sighs.

"Why do you want to stay?" He asks, and you look at him as he braces his hands on the mattress, not looking up at you.

"Why do you never want me to stay?" You ask instead, and his brows furrow in confusion, as he finally looks up.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He asks, genuinely confused. "You're the one that always leaves the moment I'm done with you." He accuses, and you stare at him almost offended.

"Excuse me?" You scoff. "Who leaves me while I am asleep after almost breaking my bed twice now?" You argue.

"You didn't invite me to stay, like, ever!" He barks back, now standing to full height again, staring at you.

"Well boohoo, didn't know the prince himself needed a formal invitation to stay in my bed after I sucked his dick!" You huff, crossing your arms.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He asks, and you open your mouth, offended.

"No, what the fuck is your problem?!" You respond back, before both of your faces relax visibly.

"I always wanted to stay. I just didn't know if you wanted me to." He says awkwardly, and you sigh, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt you're wearing.

"And I wanted you to stay, but I.. you said you don't do relationships and all that, so I didn't want to seem clingy." You mumble. "I rather, you know.."

"...took what you offered and never asked for more.." He continues.

"..so I would at least not lose you." You finish, and you both stare at each other for a good moment-

before you both break out in tearful laughter, falling into bed together-

for the first time, actually holding each other throughout the night, and many more to come.

━━━━━━━━━━.~°💔°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

[jowrites]

Die for You - Jake Sim & Lee Heeseung Part 1

***Arranged marriage AU x Husband Jake! x Reader, friend Heeseung! x Reader***

TW: cursing, Jake is mean, sexual themes, suggestive themes, SMUT, aggressive sex, toxic Jake, unprotected sex, pregnancy, mental health mentions: depression, suicidal thoughts, emotional cheating(sorta)

Had to break it into two parts because it got long...

WC: 5,180

Jo's Full Masterlist Here Thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Part 2 Here

This wasn’t what he wanted.

Jake has always been a very reasonable man, always doing his duty as heir of his father’s company. When things weren’t going so well with the business, he knew what was going to come of things and where his life was heading. Into a pit of misery for the rest of his life. 

Where he finds himself now saying his “I do’s” to none other the ‘savior’ of his business and to the family he is going to have to kiss ass for the rest of his life. Well, he refuses to be a puppet and even though he’s losing his freedom, he’ll make sure he comes out on top to save his dignity. Or what was left.

Park YN was a very respected girl in the world they lived in. He was now marrying into the richest family who saved his family's business. If his father just did things better then he wouldn’t even have to be in this mess. And why did they agree to let him marry their precious daughter? That, he doesn’t know, but rumor has it she’s always had a crush on him and he made sure to use that to his advantage to secure the deal-and funds- so his family can continue living in their paradise. They owe him now.

Just because he’s now in this arranged marriage, this business deal, doesn’t mean they can control his every being. He will work hard to get his freedom back, to where he can decide for himself again.

*******************

There was no denying things were tense the moment they walked through the door of their newlywed home. YN knew Jake wasn’t happy and she wasn’t forcing this on him, he came to her and somehow convinced her father of this. 

This wasn’t what she wanted.

Jake began to walk away down to the bedroom, him beginning to undo his tie and him stumbling a bit from the alcohol he consumed at the wedding. He turned and looked at her and motioned for her to follow, a frown going on her face.

“Are you coming or not?” he asked.

“W-we have separate rooms, uhm get some rest,” she said and he chuckled, scoffing to himself.

“Let’s get this over with while I’m being nice,” he said and she gasped.

“Are you serious? You want to have sex now ‘while you’re being nice’? So what does that mean exactly?” she asked, anger in her voice.

He rolled his eyes and groaned.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant let’s just do this and get it over with, they’re expecting you to have a baby, no?” he asked, his eyebrow raising.

“We can talk later when you’re more sober, I’m tired. Goodnight,” she said, walking to the otherside of the hallway into a room and closing the door.

What a brat, he thought. He didn’t realize how tired he actually was as well, but the moment he stumbled to the bed and fell on it, everything went black.

When Jake woke up the next day, he had a blazing headache. He groaned to himself as he noticed the light outside and forced himself to sit up in bed. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself from this hell only to remember it wasn’t a nightmare but his reality. His reality. He turned and saw a cup of water and some aspirin on the bedside table, quickly reaching for it and taking some to ease the pounding in his head. He was still in his wedding attire and quickly scurried to the bathroom for a shower. This was going to be a long, agonizing year. 

When he walked out of his room and into the kitchen, he saw YN sitting at the island reading something on her tablet. She was eating a bagel and looked up and smiled at him.

“Do you feel better?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, going to the fridge and searching for whatever he can find. “About last night, sorry…I didn’t mean to come off as such a dick, I was just tired.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I get it…and I know what you mean…my mom’s been keeping track of my ovulation cycles,” she said.

“Jesus,” he sighed. “Well, we better get to it then and give them what they want.”

“Jake, you really don’t-” She began but he held his hand up.

“No, it’s my duty as your husband now. And don’t worry, you don’t have to worry about me and any of ‘my hoes’...I took an oath and I plan to keep it,” Jake said. 

“That’s not what I meant but…okay,” YN said. 

“So, should we get started on that picture-perfect family?” Jake turned to her, raising an eyebrow and motioning towards the room.

She bit her lip out of nerves. As much as she understood him, this isn’t what she wanted. But she had a duty now as well, and as much as she hated it she knew better than to go against her parents. She sighed and took his hand and let him lead her to his room. She was trying not to show her true feelings, her sadness and tears. She put on her bravest face and tried to be happy. But deep down, she hated this. She hated a family not based on love.

***********************************

6 Months later

“So how’s the wife doing?” Jay asked, smirking over at his friend.

Jake took a sip of his whiskey, looking at the glass and sighing.

“That bad?” Jay frowned. “You have the most desired woman tied to you now, is it really that bad?”

“It’s fucking weird, Jay, and she’s so nice and it’s so fucking annoying,” Jake said.

“You’re mad because she isn’t a bitch?” Jay raised a brow.

“No, that’s not it but everything just pisses me off. This whole situation, it’s so fucked up,” Jake groaned. 

“Yeah, well it’s the world we live in,” Jay said, taking a sip of his drink. “And didn't you ask her to marry you?”

“Yes, but for my family, it’s business. It’s not like a fucking love her,” Jake said.

“Who don’t you love?” Heeseung came up from behind Jake, patting him on the shoulder, making Jake jump in fright.

“Oh Jesus!” Jake said, clutching his chest. “Dude, a little warning next time.”

“Sorry,” Heeseung smirked as he took a seat between his friends.

“Just Jake complaining about his oh-so perfect wife,” Jay teased.

“How is she?” Heeseung asked, turning his attention towards Jake. 

Jake waved his hand in dismissal, chugging the rest of his whiskey and pouring himself another glass.

“Slow down, that’s your 4th one,” Jay said.

“Whatever, don’t tell me what to do,” Jake said.

Jay and Heeseung gave a look at each other and sighed.

“Is it that bad?” Heeseung asked.

“She’s too nice,” Jay said.

“Yeah, YN is really kind. I thought they’d be getting to know each other better by now and he’d like her by now,” Heeseung said.

“Wait, you know her?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, our families are good partners. Our dads golf together,” Heeseung said.

“What the fuck? Why didn’t we know about this?” Jay asked.

“You never asked,” Heeseung shrugged, taking Jay’s drink and drinking from it.

“Hey, get your own!” Jay said, grabbing the drink back.

“Yours is better,” Heeseung said. “Mmm, delicious!”

“Whatever, she’s a weirdo,” Jake said, drinking more.

It was 3 am when YN woke up from her sleep. She quickly put on a robe and went out to check who was at the door. What greeted her at the door was Heeseung holding up Jake who looked to be in and out of consciousness. 

“YN? Are you awake? We have your husband,” Heeseung said to the camera. 

“Hi, YN, I’m Jay, we met at the wedding,” Jay came into frame, his forehead covering the full camera.

“Dude, shh, you’re so loud!” Heeseung pulled Jay back.

YN opened the door, her eyes wide and a frown on her face.

“What the hell?” she asked.

“Hi,” Heeseung smiled, a blush on his face.

“Oh, look! It’s my wife,” Jake said, slurring his words.

Heeseung and Jay helped carry Jake inside as he stumbled over himself. YN sighed to herself, shaking her head. They carried him through the house to the living room and placed him on the couch. 

“Did you want us to take him to the bedroom?” Heeseung asked, looking at YN.

“No, he can stay there for the night,” YN said, shrugging. 

“Oh, yikes,” Jay said. “But I get it.”

YN glared at Jake as he groaned. 

“Why are you guys so loud?” He slurred. “Oh, YN…good. Here, be a dear hang up my coat.”

Jake began to remove his coat, the boys looking at him appalled.

“Excuse me?” YN asked. 

“That’s not how you speak to your wife,” Jay said, pulling Jake back.

“Shut up, I’ll speak to her how I want,” Jake shoved Jay back and threw his coat at her. 

“Dude,” Heeseung said as he tried to shield the girl from the swing of the coat.

“I’m not your maid, Jake,” YN sighed. “Goodnight, guys. Thanks for bringing him home…”

She smiled at the boys and waved, starting to walk to the kitchen. Heeseung glared at Jake before following YN down to the kitchen.

“Does he always speak to you like that?” Heeseung asked.

“Not always, most times he doesn’t even speak to me at all…unless he wants to get his dick wet,” she chuckled, her fists clenching.

“YN, he doesn’t…” Heeseung asked in a whisper.

“No, not like that. It’s consensual…he’s just not nice about it…” she said, looking down. 

“Are you happy?” He asked, trying to get a look at her face.

“What do you think? I was forced to marry a man who I barely know and doesn’t even like me,” YN looked up at Heeseung. “It’s whatever, this is what people like us do.”

“YN, you didn’t have to do this,” Heeseung said, looking down at her softly.

“It was either Jake or that Yoo kid,” YN said.

“Your father was going to marry you off to Yoo Taeil?” Heeseung gasped and YN nodded.

Yoo Taeil, known for his notorious abuse against women. Everyone knows he’s a psychopath and has probably killed someone before. Not confirmed, but many suspect it and hear it through the rumors. His family has power, and he’s seen as a saint in the public.

“I’m sorry about this, YN…I know it never was what you wanted,” Heeseung said, reaching out for her hand which she pulled away.

“It’s late, you guys should go,” YN said, smiling up at Heeseung. “Thank you, and it was good to see you, Heeseung. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’ll come around more often for sure…make sure Jake isn’t being a dick,” Heeseung winked, causing her to giggle. 

She nodded and together the two walked out as Jay was looking around.

“You ready?” Heeseung asked and Jay nodded.

“I’ll see you around, Mrs. Sim,” Jay smiled, waving.

“Bye guys, thanks again!” YN said, walking them out.

When Heeseung and Jay got to the car, Heeseung let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. His eyes closed as he exhaled slowly.

“You and YN don’t just ‘know each other’, don’t you?” Jay asked his friend.

“Yeah…it’s complicated,” Heeseung said.

“Fuck man!” Jay said, shaking his head.

Heeseung stared out the window, lost in thought the driver drove the two through the city back to their apartments.

It's been 3 days since that night. Jake still ignores YN as if she isn't an existing part of his world. He doesn't even realize it most of the time, but he's getting more distant and distant. YN has found she doesn't think she can stand him as even a friend with the way he has talked to her, dismissive and rude. She wasn't someone who let others walk all over her, but she too didn't like to invite the company of an entitled chaebol. Jake acted like most of them-rude, spoiled, and entitled. She wasn't raised to be that way and so she never took part in many things or had many friends. When she sits and thinks about Jake and his friends, they all seemed nice and she didn't understand why they were friends with Jake. Especially Heeseung. 

Her relationship with Heeseung is positive. Most times in the past, she was able to enjoy his company and share things on her mind and he never judged her. He was a great friend who listened to her and even when she told him she was getting married she had no idea Jake was one of his friends. His best friend to be exact. Heeseung never mentioned Jake and she's now starting to see why. She still feels like she barely knows him, but she has enough experience with him now to have an opinion. She didn't like this. She didn't like this one bit.

“I don't think I like him,” YN said, her eyes fixed on the glass in front of her.

“Who?” her brother, Sunghoon, asked as he placed his fork down.

“My husband,” she said.

“Does he hurt you? Is he cheating already?” Sunghoon asked, his tone serious.

“I honestly don't even know, he said he's not one to cheat and I don't have to worry about that,” she said, sighing. “But I don't even talk to him.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“He doesn't talk to me…barely looks at me, only if he needs something,” she clarified. “And he's a dick about it.”

“Shit,” Sunghoon sighed, rubbing his face. “I'll tell dad, we can finalize the divorce as soon as possible.”

“No! Sunghoon, don't!” YN said, pleading, reaching out and stopping her brother who picked up his phone.

“YN, I will not have my baby sister be treated like this, not by a friend, family, and especially not by her husband who we let into this family for the mere deal of saving his family's image,” Sunghoon said with venom in his voice.

“I'll handle it, just give me more time…please, I-I need to think,” YN said.

“Think about what? If you're unhappy just say so,” Sunghoon said.

“I'm not. It's just…things are weird and I'm still planning to try…for mom and dad's sake…my sake…I don't want to be that chaebol who gets divorced 6 months into her marriage…” YN said.

Sunghoon sighed. He understands all too well the image this will bring. Not only the public image, but the business can have issues. His father took in a loss at the expense of his daughter. He would hate to be the bad guy here.

“I'm going to make this work, just trust me,” she said, squeezing her brother's hand and smiling at him. 

When YN got home, she was greeted by none other than an empty apartment.  She sighed and set her bags down in the kitchen, removing the items she brought home from their bags and getting to work. She was determined to start over and try to get to know him. Even if he had no interest, maybe she just needed to try. Maybe her absence and uninterest in his world is also a reason why he stays away. Maybe he feels like he's respecting her boundaries. She will just have to try. 

By the time she finished setting the table, she looked at the clock and saw Jake should be arriving soon. One thing she noticed, if he wasn't with Heeseung or Jay, he always came home at 7. Always on time. The dinner she cooked was done, filling their home with the aromas making anyone's stomach excited at the scent. She looked at her table, the food looked delicious and everything looked pretty. She was excited now like a girl on her first date. She made sure she looked extra nice, putting on a little more makeup than usual and a nice dress she just got. She put in effort and hopes Jake could appreciate it and see it so maybe he'd try as well now. That was what she hoped.

By the time she checked her phone, it was past 8. Jake wasn't home yet and she sat at the table waiting. She texted Heeseung and asked if they were together and he said Jake wasn't with him and when she texted Jake he didn't even bother looking at her messages, leaving her unread. Her calls went to voicemail and he just had no clue where he was. She was getting impatient and a part of her felt disappointed at the same time. She was struggling with this and a part of her was hurt. She didn't realize it until this moment, but she was lonely.

She picked up her phone and called the person who she always went to in these types of situations. Someone who always listened to her and brought her joy. Heeseung.

“YN? Are you okay?” He asked through the phone.

“Uhm, yeah, I just wanted to see if you wanted to come over for dinner. We can catch up like old times since it's been a while,” she asked. “I made dinner.”

“Oh, sure. I'd love to. Jake didn't mention anything about dinner,” he said.

“Yeah, Jake isn't even here,” she chuckled.

“Oh…did you fight?” he asked. 

“No, we didn't…he isn't home yet,” YN said.

The line was silent for a while and YN could hear Heeseung sigh. 

“I'll be right over, okay? I'll bring dessert,” he said and she smiled.

“Sounds good. See you soon.”

Heeseung arrived 15 minutes later. She was now in casual clothes, a nice cardigan and some sweatpants as she opened the door. She still managed to take his breath away, a smile coming to his lips. She gave him a full tour of the place, including Jake's room which she quickly let him know he could take anything he wanted. Heeseung chuckled thinking he just might take Jake's stuff and see if he notices. His friend deserves a bit of some punishment if this is how he's been treating his wife. Heeseung didn't get it.

“I just don't understand him, and don't get me wrong, I can read Jake like an open book but this…this is so not like him,” Heeseung exclaimed. 

The two of them sat at the coffee table enjoying some wine and the macaroons Heeseung brought. It was almost 11 now and after a delicious meal they were chatting away on the floor embraced in everything and all that's been going on.

“Yeah well, that's how it's been. And I was going to try tonight but he didn't give me the opportunity to, I guess,” YN said, shrugging. 

“YN, you don't deserve this type of treatment,” Heeseung said. 

“I guess I'm just going to have to keep trying, who knows maybe he's just thinking of my boundaries or something,” she said.

Heeseung knew that was bullshit. Everything Jake has said about this situation and about her has been lies. Jake isn't trying. He doesn't want to try. He just wanted her influence and money. But what could he do? He couldn't just tell her that, especially since she's optimistic about the situation  

“You deserve to be happy too, YN, you know that right?” Heeseung said. 

“Yeah…I know…it's just a weird time right now,” she said. 

“If you're unhappy, you'd tell me, right?” He asked, looking into her eyes for an answer.

No.

“Of course, you're my closest friend, I tell you everything,” she smiled at him, squeezing his knee with her hand.

“Okay, just making sure,” he said, nudging her.

Just then, they heard the door open and close. The light to the front entrance came on and Heeseung and YN watched Jake walk right past them, sighing to himself as he walked down to his room. Not even bothering to glance and look at them, seeing his friend sat with his wife.

“What the fuck?” Heeseung suddenly got up, his blood boiling at what just happened. “Is that what he does every night?”

“Heeseung, just leave it, I'll handle it,” YN said, gripping his pants.

“No. That's bullshit,” Heeseung began to walk towards Jake's room and barged through the door. 

Jake was in the middle of removing his clothes for a shower, turning confused as he saw Heeseung come into his bathroom.

“Dude, what are you doing here? Where did you come from?” Jake asked, covering himself with a towel.

“Heeseung,” YN came in after him, trying to pull Heeseung away.

“YN?” Jake asked, confused.

“You'd see me if you cared to even glance over at our direction,” Heeseung said. “YN invited me over for dinner because someone forgot to come home on time.”

“Since when were you two friends?” Jake asked.

“I told you we've been friends, Jake,” Heeseung said. 

“Alright, good to know. Can I take my shower now?” Jake asked, trying to motion them out of his room. 

“No, Jake this isn't-” Just as Heeseung was talking, YN ran past Jake and to the toilet where she threw up all the contents of her stomach. 

She didn't know what came over her but she suddenly felt sick and needed to vomit. Heeseung gasped and followed suit, coming up and comforting YN and holding up her hair for her as she released everything. Jake rolled his eyes, disgusted by the sight. 

“You better clean that up, I don't want my toilet smelling like puke,” Jake said.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Heeseung yelled, anger in his voice.

Just then, YN stopped and flushed the toilet. Her heart racing and dropping at the same time from Jake's words. She wondered if trying was still on the table, he really was a dick.

“Are you okay? Here let me help,” Heeseung attended to YN, wiping her mouth and helping her to her feet. Jake watched the sight, scoffing to himself and feeling a knot in his stomach. He couldn't stand watching this.

“Just both of you get out, I've had a long day and you made it 10 times worse YN with your vomit,” Jake said, pointing to the door. 

Heeseung glared at him, YN nodding and taking Heeseung and dragging him away.

“We're not done with this conversation,” Heeseung said to Jake, slamming the door behind him. 

Jake stood there. Feeling defeated and much like a dick. He didn’t know what came over him. He doesn't know why he's like this. Why can't he just be nice to her? But seeing her with Heeseung of all people, watching as Heeseung tended to his wife, went and cared for his wife. His blood was boiling and he needed to cool off. He needed his shower.

In the kitchen, YN sat on a stool sipping water as Heeseung stood there with a frown on his face and his arms crossed over his head. Jake was never a person to be like this, he was always kind and down to earth. At least the Jake he knew. Why was he being so mean to YN? Did he hate the situation that much? What was his true motive? YN didn’t deserve this type of treatment and Heeseung was determined to show her more than ever what she was worth. What she truly deserves.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“No,” she chuckled, looking down. Heeseung could see the sadness in her eyes.

“YN, please…do something if you don’t want this. You do not deserve to be treated like that,” he said.

“I’m sure we just have to get to know each other better, plus, you said it yourself how Jake was a decent guy,” she said.

“Why are you so set on making it work?” He said, groaning in frustration.

“My parents were in an arranged marriage, you know? My dad really, really didn’t like my mom. But they grew on each other over time and…they had us out of love,” YN said, a small smile forming on her lips. “So I’m determined to make it work too. For the sake of everyone.”

Heeseung felt soft. He looked at her with understanding eyes and nodded slowly. He came over to her and smiled, giving her a small hug. Any friend would hug their friend in that situation, right?

“You always see the best in situations,” he said. “I always admire that.”

“You have to when you live in this world,” she said.

“I have to go, but please, call me for anything. Just anything and I’ll be here, okay?” He said as YN stood to walk him out.

She nodded and smiled at her friend. She didn’t have many friends, and the small circle she had she was always grateful for.

“Of course, don’t be a stranger, Heeseung. Thanks for keeping me company tonight,” she said as they got to the door.

“It was great catching up, and thanks for that meal. It was delicious,” he said. “I’ll see you soon.”

After Heeseung left, YN was left in the quiet home, again reminding her of the reality of her situation. She sighed and went to the kitchen to finish cleaning up the last things from the night. Just as she finished putting up the rest of the dishes, Jake came out with a towel wrapped around his waist and a towel drying his hair.

“Heeseung’s gone?” he asked, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.

“Mhm,” she said. “Jake, can we talk?”

“About what?” he asked.

“Everything,” she said. “I don’t want it to be like this.”

“Like what?” he asked, turning around and facing her.

“Like we’re strangers who occasionally sleep together,” she said.

“But aren’t we?” he asked, in a mocking tone. “We aren’t friends.”

YN stared at him in disbelief. So he really didn’t want to work things out. She didn't know why he was being like this.

“YN, you invite another man into our home, my best friend to be exact, and you expect me to be happy about it?” he asked.

Oh. So that’s what this is about? 

“Are you…are you jealous?” she asked.

Jake placed his water down and walked over to her, placing his arms on both sides of her, trapping her between his body and the counter.

“Should I be worried?” he asked. 

“Where were you tonight? Heeseung said you left the office at 6:30,” she said.

“With my parents,” he shrugged. “I meant it when I said I’d be loyal, YN. I expect the same.”

“Jake, Heeseung has been my friend for years now and I don’t have many friends, but he’s one,” YN said. “If it bothers you, just tell me.”

“Why would it bother me?” he asked, his breath on her face as he got closer.

“Exactly, why would it? Like you said, we aren’t friends,” she said.

“Right,” he replied. “I didn’t like how he touched your back.”

“Well, he wouldn’t have if you came over and at least acted concerned,” she said, pushing him back a little, to which he responded by pushing her back and holding her tighter.

“We took an oath, YN. I expect you to respect that. By oath and the rings on our fingers, you’re mine,” he said just as he crashed his lips to hers in a kiss.

There was nothing special about the kiss other than lust and frustration. YN was frustrated but responded and wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her up and carried her to the living room. He placed her on the couch and immediately began undressing her. He ripped her clothes off her body with such fever as he nipped at the skin on her neck and collarbones. She laid bare before him as he manhandled her however he pleased, gripping her hips tightly and slamming his length in her core. She gasped, reaching behind her to push him back. Her eyes watering from the sting.

“Jake, slow down,” she said, her lungs on fire as she gasped for air.

“This is what you wanted, right?” He asked, as he relentlessly pounded into her.

There wasn’t much pleasure in this as she still felt the pain of his thrusts. Her eyes watering as he used her body for his pleasure.

“S-slow-” she tried to say as she groaned in pain.

Jake spit on his hand and began to rub her clit, making her body wet as she got used to his thrusts. Soon the pain began to subside as she began to feel pleasure, but deep down it was there and she knew she was going to be sore as the abuse on her cervix was becoming worse. Jake pulled out, and flipped her over on her back before slamming back in. He attached his mouth to her chest as she moaned and laid there. She couldn’t even enjoy it at this point as Jake slammed himself in and out of her, the pain still there.

“It hurts,” she said, tears in her eyes. “Please.”

Jake slowed down, seeing the tears down her face and her uncomfortable expression. They weren’t tears of pleasure, they were tears of pain. He reached up and kissed them away as he slowed his pace and moved at a much more relaxed pace.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he breathed out, she just responded in a nod.

“It’s okay,” she said, her body feeling more relaxed as his pace slowed and her wetness building up. “Keep going.”

He did as she instructed, moving to a better place and much less aggressive. YN could feel the pleasure building and the tightness forming. Jake was chasing his own high as he picked up his pace and together they were moaning and groaning with one another. Jake looked at her face, saw as she arched her back and closed her eyes as her climax hit her. That alone sent him over the edge as he released his seed inside, painting her walls white. Many nights he has claimed her as his, and as he pulled out and saw her there on the couch catching her breath. He could see the bruises he left on her body and the tears on her face. He felt disgusted.

He got up and grabbed a wet washcloth and came back as he cleaned her up. She winced in pain and he winced at himself for causing it. He didn’t care anymore that they were supposed to have a baby. This felt wrong and he didn’t want to do this to her. He couldn’t do this to her anymore, having sex with no passion and thoughts. It wasn’t right and in that moment Jake decided that would be the last time. He wasn’t going to become that man he always hated. He got up and quickly rushed to his room, abandoning the girl. He needed to get away so she couldn’t see him. 

When he closed the door behind him, he broke down. His own sobs came out and he realized just how miserable he really was.

[liillyliilly]

All Night Long

iwaizumi hajime x reader words; 1162 synopsis; the whole pen pal thing had been his mom's idea. now? he was glad that he had someone like her to tell everything to.

(So, if you just give me a chance, I can still show you romance)

Iwaizumi doesn’t quite remember when he started sending letters to Y/n. All he remembers is that his mom wanted him to diversify his communication skills, since he had only really ever talked to the boys on his volleyball team.

So, sending letters back and forth with a girl from Tokyo seemed like a rational solution to Mrs. Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi would send one letter one week and then she would send a letter the next one. And that’s how it had been for four years.

At first the letters were strictly professional. Asking about goals, academics, and life plans. Gradually, the shells of both Iwaizumi and Y/N were chipped away at. Divulging details of a bad kiss, or something hilarious a friend did. When she started to cut out classic memes, putting cardstock editions of volleyball player trading cards and writing out various links to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up", Iwaizumi thought he met his almost heavenly match.

While she didn't play volleyball, she treated it like something special, and respected Iwaizumi's love for the sport. He felt proud when she acknowledged how much of a hard-worker he must have been to be ranked so highly in his prefecture with his team.

She also always knew what to write to him to help motivate him. Quotes from famous people never made an appearance, she just had the old soul wisdom to articulate exactly what needed to be said to him.

Iwaizumi does remember when he started to wait right next to the mailbox just so he could read her letter as soon as possible. And he does remember when it starts to take him longer than five hours to write a response. And he definitely remembers when Oikawa starts to tease him about his hobby.

“You actually write to her every week?” Oikawa holds up the basket that Iwaizumi keeps all of her letters in. Carefully they are sectioned off by year and then by month. He has written the date they arrived in the corner of the envelope so he can keep all of them organized. When Oikawa starts to pull out letters, Iwaizumi rips the basket out of his hands and holds it close to his chest.

“No, Shittykawa. It’s every other week.” Iwaizumi sides the basket under his bed before slumping back down into his beanbag.

Oikawa grins before sitting down on a chair opposite to Iwaizumi. “Have you ever thought about asking her for her number?”

“Why would I?”

“Because then you guys can talk, without having to wait two weeks before the other responds.” Oikawa shrugs pulling out his phone to mess around on it, eyes peeking out over his glasses to look at Iwaizumi. “Unless, of course, you're afraid.”

“I am not afraid.” Iwaizumi grabs his clipboard to start writing his response letter, her most recent letter sitting on his side table so he can reference it.

Except, this time, instead of a nice long handwritten letter, it’s a simple series of numbers. And a small phrase. “Text me?” Iwaizumi considers drawing a smiley face, or even just a small shrugging stick figure drawing. But he thinks that what he wrote is enough. He hopes it’s enough for her to contact him.

The walk to drop off the letter in his mailbox is agonizing. He retreats twice before his mom yells at him and tells him he needs to send it today or else the letter schedule will be all messed up. The thought of Y/N having to wait longer than seven days to get his letter suddenly becomes more of a worry than his potential rejection of swapping numbers.

On day one, the day after the mailperson picked up the letter, Iwaizumi's hands were perpetually sweaty.

On day two, Iwaizumi felt a little better, he could forget all about his pen pal and then it would be perfectly fine. Except he could never forget her.

Days three to six were a blur. His phone felt heavier each day, and he even decided to leave it home from school on day six because he kept looking at it for too long. Checking again and again for any new messages.

(I wanna get real close to you)

Iwaizumi almost faints when an unrecognized number sends the phrase, “I know who you are Hajime.” He grips at his heart before easing up when the next message is sent. “Because it's me! Y/n L/n.”

She sends him a lot of Godzilla memes. She talks about her day. She asks him about volleyball. She rants about the people she goes to school with. She is perfect to him.

His palms are sweaty as he wipes them onto his joggers as he stares at Y/n’s contact. The phone icon mocking him for his nervousness. He takes a deep breath. She had told him that she’s used to having her friends call her an obnoxious number of times, but that she likes talking on the phone because she likes hearing people’s voices. Iwaizumi leans back on his desk chair and runs his hands through his hair.

He had drank his mother's throat soothing honey lemon tea for at least a week leading up to his decision to call her. But the nerves about what his voice sounded like still irked him. He had been told that he had a rough voice by his friends. A dorky voice from Oikawa. A lovely voice by his mom. What would she think though? Her opinion was the only one that really mattered anyway.

He stands up and shakes his legs and hands in an effort to get rid of his anxiety. He jumps around in his room for a bit as he tries to get his energy out. Iwaizumi puts his hands on his face and reminds himself, calling people is normal. Totally and completely normal. But his reminder does nothing to ease how his right hand is shaking while it hovers over the call button.

He presses the button and hold his phone to his ear, biting down on his lip.

“Hello?” Y/n’s voice asks. And Iwaizumi’s heart races as it tries to find a way to ingrain her voice upon itself.

“Y/n! Hi, it's me Hajime!” He cringes when he realizes how alike he sounds to Oikawa. Enthusiasm didn’t fit the way he acted, but the way Y/n interacted with him made him want to be as keen as possible.

“Hajime! What’s up?” A large smile overwhelms his face as he rubs the back of his head.

Neither really knows how long they spent on the phone talking. But by the time it was around two in the morning, Y/n was snoring softly over the phone and Iwaizumi was breathing at an even pace with his phone sitting on his pillow close to his ear.

(All night long)

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 4 - MONTH 3 - GROWING PAINS

First - Prev - Next

Everything hurts.

I started noticing it about two weeks after my first dose. It felt like a dull headache at first, but over the next month it spread to pretty much my entire body.

I had to start working from home, and eventually it got bad enough that I could only put in a few hours of work each day. My boss is a reasonable enough guy, but he wasn't going to pay a full time salary for part time hours, so I had to take a salary cut.

Luckily, my partner is around to take care of daily errands, not to mention being there to reassure and comfort me when the pain gets bad. They've been thinking about seeing if Lindwurm HRT is a thing, but they don't want to get the process started until I'm in the clear and can take care of myself again.

Gods I love them.

The reason the pain is happening, as best I can tell, is that my skeletal structure is already changing. I've gotten at least an inch taller, and my face has been reshaping into a feline muzzle. My teeth are getting sharper, and I'm developing proper fangs. I also noticed a little while ago that my fingernails and toenails had receded into their respective digits, which sucks for two reasons - I can't paint fingernails I don't have, and they are sore as HELL when I put any amount of pressure on them. I have to be REALLY careful with how I type to not inflict agony on myself. I'm also feeling my tail growing in, and even if it hurts, it's euphoric as HELL. A tail was always the part I wanted most out of this.

It's weird, the skeletal changes weren't supposed to happen this early. I've been trying to reach Dr. Erian about it, but he's constantly busy, probably because of the sudden surge of people looking for Humanity Removal Therapy.

Other than that, I've been getting areas of white and black fur coming in - mostly on my arms and legs, but a little bit on my face and ears - ears that are gradually reshaping and migrating. Nothing to report on hearing sensitivity, but I think my night vision is getting better.

I did a little bit of looking around for anyone with similar pain experiences. I got my hopes up when I found a girl, Antonina, who had a painful experience with Cat HRT, but it turns out it's because she took the rumoured Fifteen Minute version. She described the pain as "like bathing in an active volcano".

It leaves me wondering whether I would have preferred a 15-minute lava bath over a months-long full-body headache.

I ended up reaching out to her anyway, just because I wanted to know what I was in for in the endgame and feline HRT is rarer than I thought it would be. Sounds like the prey drive is the real deal - she keeps feeling the urge to bite this one girl who's on mouse HRT.

We've been spending some time comparing notes and getting to know each other. It's nice to know someone else who's going through this thing, even if our experiences aren't exactly one-to-one.

I also talked to my mother for the first time in nearly a year. I went No Contact with her a while back because she was only getting more obnoxious and combative about me being trans, but I figured changing my species is a big enough deal that I should keep her in the loop.

Besides, my savings had nearly dried up and I needed to ask her for money.

It… did not go well. She hadn't heard of therian HRT before, and once I explained it, she started panicking about how I'm "mutilating my body" with "untested treatments". I think I also heard her cry something about how her "son" is "killing himself", which is just multiple layers of insensitive.

At least she sent me some money. Hopefully it'll be enough to last until my transformation stops being agonizing and I can go back to work, and then I can go right back to pretending my family doesn't exist.

At roughly the three-month mark, I have a check-in video call with Dr. Erian. From the moment his face appears on screen, though, I can tell something is wrong. He seems… older, somehow.

"Hello, Miss Alexis.", he offers. He sounds tired. Sorrowful, even.

"Hey, doc." I have to ask about it. "Everything okay? You seem a bit tired."

"Nothing to worry about Miss Alexis, just the ordinary stresses of daily life."

Liar. I know I'm not entitled to details of your personal life, much less your professional secrets, but I know when something is eating at someone.

"…Does the word 'crossroads' mean anything to you, Miss Alexis?"

Huh? That came a bit out of left field. "I've… heard some other therian HRT patients use the term, but I don't know much of the details. Something about a point of no return?"

"Something of the sort." He lowers his head and seems to go from sorrowful to downright grim. "There will come a time, Miss Alexis, when you will have to make a very important decision in your care, and I ask that you do so with great consideration for the consequences."

I recoil a little in my seat. "Yeah… Of course I will. Any decision I make, even reaching out to you in the first place, I don't take it lightly."

"Good… That's good." His demeanor shifts back to his stoic, clinical self. I don't know what just happened, but he went somewhere for a moment there.

"Now then, I did receive your messages, I apologize for not getting back to you. You mentioned you were experiencing persistent and debilitating whole-body soreness?"

"Yeah. I can't even leave the apartment most days, it hurts so much."

"Odd… You are taking the treatment as directed, yes?"

"Of course. One tablespoon a week, just like it says on the bottle."

I see his eyes twitch behind his glasses. Did I say something wrong?

"…Teaspoon."

I cock my head to the side. "Say again?"

"You mean one TEASPOON a week, yes?"

I feel my heart sink. The dark smear on the dosage information… I could have sworn it said '1 tbsp/week'.

"…Could you hold on a second please?" I mute the mic and call out to my partner to bring the bottle of tiger HRT over. When they do, I unmute and hold it up to the webcam. I hear Dr. Erian take a sharp intake of breath as he notices the obscured instructions.

I set the bottle aside and the two of us share an awkward silence.

"So…", I begin. "…How bad is it?"

"The good news", he offers slowly, "is that you have only been taking three times the prescribed dose. An increased dose imbalances the growth rate of the different parts of your body, hence your pain and persistent weakness, but it could have been much worse."

I think back to the so-called Fifteen Minute version, and Antonina's description of it - like bathing in an active volcano.

Dr. Erian continues. "Assuming you return to a CORRECT dose, your growth rates will gradually level out over the course of the next month or so. It is my medical opinion that you should maintain a low-activity lifestyle until then, but you will eventually be able to return to your typical activity level, and you will also find that the physical effects become more… consistent."

"That's… reassuring. Thank you, doctor." I pause. Something I noticed a little while ago has been weighing on my mind. "There's one thing, though - do the treatments have… I guess you'd call them restorative or regenerative effects? I've noticed some old wounds aren't there anymore."

The doctor clicks his pen and brings up his notepad. "Interesting. Do go on, Miss Alexis."

"Well… I used to get lower back pain from a car crash injury I got a little over a year ago, but I haven't noticed it at all lately. Pretty much the only part that DOESN'T hurt… There also used to be some marks on my arm from a cat biting me when I was little." I give a slight smile. "The cat's name was Tiger, go figure."

Dr. Erian is writing the whole time I'm talking. "Yes, that is to be expected. Minor persistent injuries will fade over time as your body re-forms itself to a new baseline, even severe chronic symptoms may fade. If there are no other concerns…"

"Just one… Most of the other therian HRT patients I've talked to have gotten their meds as pills, so what's with the potion bottle?"

Dr. Erian pauses, and adjusts his glasses nervously, as if he's been caught out on something he doesn't want to admit to. "Well… advances in the field are occurring rapidly, and you are one of the more recent patients, so a more… streamlined option was available to you. I took the liberty of choosing the most compatible option based on your medical records, and that bottle is it."

"Okay… But what's IN it?"

"The active ingredients are antihominidone, which is your humanity-blocker, and a specialized formula of felistrogen, infused with white tiger genetic material. The rest of the fluid is a suspension used to dilute the effects, without which you would be looking at a short, but excruciating and potentially lethal process."

The Fifteen Minute version, I think to myself. I'm taking diluted Fifteen Minute meds. There's no WAY this isn't experimental, and I'M the experiment. I despise saying it, but maybe my mother was right to worry.

"But I'm afraid I really do have to go, Miss Alexis, my next appointment is waiting."

"G-gotcha. See ya, doctor."

---

Special thanks to @paintedbytosia for letting me write her in, and shoutout to @megamoonerjenny for coming up with 'antihominidone'

[generalkenobee]

Needy whore

Warnings: name calling, degradation, mentions of female masterbation, pnv, reader is on birth control FEM!reader, dom!Kylo, reader worshiping kylo, choking but little to no force, rough sex turns into soft sex, reader is the only person allowed to call Kylo Ben

This was your punishment. You were trying to get a rise out of Kylo so he'd fuck you harder but things didn't go as expected. "Well if you're going to act like this then I won't give you any sexual attention"

The past two weeks had been so long and agonizing. All you could think about was Kylos heavy cock and how it would feel to pump. You've thought about masterbation but it wouldn't even work, your body has become so used to him you can't do it by yourself. Your fingers are too small, your hands too soft, and you don't have the same stamina he does.

You wanted to be filled up to the brim with his seed while he continued to push in deeper, you needed him to pull your hair, fuck you against a wall with someone in the next room, his large rough hand would travel down your belly until it was rig-

"excuse me? Are you even listening or are we wasting our time miss (L/N)?" General Hux's voice rang through the empty hallway. You weren't even sure what he was talking to you about, something along the lines of needing help with a new droid?

"yes sir- I mean general" you responded quickly straightening you back and looking him in the eyes. "Very well, you may go-"

"thank you si- general!" You cut him off running to the supreme leaders quarters to try to beg for forgiveness

•••

"please!" You whined with Kylo standing in front of you while you spread your legs around him so you could rub your cunt on hit boots. "No" his response was short and cold.

"I'll do anything.. Please Kylo! Please let me cum!" There were hot tears running down your face at this point. "I- I need you!"

"is that it? Too pathetic to make yourself cum?" His voice was deep and would've been scary if you hadn't been dating for over 3 years. "Do you need my help?" He questioned grabbing your jaw in his left hand while cupping your vulva in his right.

Your hips rutted up into him while your eyes rolled back, moaning in ecstasy. It was such little pleasure but it meant the world considering it had been so long.

Kylo pulled your face forward forcefully pressing his full lips to yours. Oh God his lips... They were so plush and soft, the feeling of them on your pulsing clit was unmatched. You moaned into the kiss trying to pull him over to the bed. both your hands were on his biceps pulling him further toward you till he was practically laying atop you crushing you under his weight.

"mmm.." your arms wrapped around his neck scratching his scalp while Kylo gently ran his middle finger down your stomach to the very start of your slit. "Please"

"needy whore" a chill ran down your back when his finger slowly dragged down you "you're my white though, you'd never act this way towards anyone but your supreme leader, isn't that right?" You loved when he talked like this, and you were so lost in his words you didn't respond. "I asked you a question." Kylos voice rang in your ears while his hand wrapped around your throat as a warning. "Yes Kylo, no one knows me like you do"

"no one gets to see this side of you but me" your head lifted off the mattress to kiss him again while his finger started slowly rubbing circles on your clit "thank you, thank you so much" you feel short of breath as your head lulls back onto his pillows, eyes closed. You still felt his fingers but he wasn't rubbing you anymore, instead he was getting his clothes off.

About 15 minutes had passed of him teasing you with the force "augh! I'm c-close- mmhmmm, please" but it stopped "nice and wet hm?" You nodded your head reaching over for his hard cock pumping him softly "I'm soaked"

Kylo put his hands on your hips lifting you up to straddle him while his head rested on his headboard "slide it in whore, wanna see how bad you want it" at that sentence you yanked him up to your entrance moaning while you slid down with ease "maybe I've been too cruel?" Kylo said with a questioning tone "ma-maybe you have.. neglecting me, and my needs" your throat felt tight and you couldn't continue your sentence "careful baby..." He said looking at you through thick lashes. Your eyes rolled back at the feeling of his cock inside you at last and the feeling of his hand around your neck.

Eventually it became softer sex, less choking and more kissing, less degradation and more praise

"B-Ben..can you" you stopped in fear of looking stupid. Although your boyfriends hand slightly tilted and you felt the similar feeling of his middle finger on your clit once more. "Ben!" Your hands flew up to his shoulders squeezing as you clenched. "I-I"

"I know baby, go on"

[wistfulnightingale]

A Hefty Jigger of Death (Coffee Checkmate)

Part 4 in the 8-part Chess Moves Theory Set by @wistfulnightingale.

For over a year, we have been scrutinizing not only the agonizing Final Fifteen, but the chess game that is in play from the moment the Metatron walks into the bookshop. Derek Jacobi is a sublime British actor. In a show with so many clues and layers, we were certain that his nuanced words were loaded with meaning. But what to focus on?

"Do people ever ask for Death?" He had pondered with philosophical detachment. "So predictable." The Metatron doesn't even see his own angels as unique individuals with identities and feelings, let alone humans. Earth is disposable, merely a stage for the Great Plan, and he is here to reinstate the advancement of that plan. Without further interference from Our Ineffables.

Our intuition screams at us that Death, or the threat of it, is somehow part of his purpose. But where? How? We know to whom, though. Crowley. We saw The Look. He hates Crowley. And the Metatron needs 3 things:

(1) The Ineffables separated. (2) Aziraphale under his control. (3) Crowley neutralized as threat to his authority, by any means necessary. The coffee nearly accomplished all 3. If they had done what the Metatron had suspected they might do, Crowley would now be dead.

He made certain that Azi knew. We were watching. We saw how oddly, and intensely, Aziraphale reacted to that "hefty jigger of almond syrup."

I have an idea about what might have caused Aziraphle that degree of worry, and his compliance later.

What if the "hefty jigger" the Metatron added was HOLY WATER?

Checkmate.

The Metatron is giving off loud danger signals. His extreme collegial politeness, his dismissiveness of Crowley and Muriel, his suddenly treating Aziraphale as if he's one of the most important beings in the universe. Our angel is suspicious and guarded, watchful. Even the camara angle and timing in the scene are creating a moment we're meant to notice.

When Aziraphale sips the brew, we can see he's not truthful when he says, "It's... Ooof... It's very nice." He's confirmed what he suspected-- the coffee isn't just coffee. A discrepancy in the sweetness level wouldn’t cause Azi to look so worried. He recognizes that the coffee is laced with Holy Water. Deadly poison if it had been Crowley, looking like the angel.

The Metatron responds, "I should jolly well hope so." Coded Language. "Do you understand the threat I'm making?"

Yes. Aziraphale understands. Look at his eyes as he's invited to "take a little stroll." He's not just guarded. He's aware. In the next moments, his face shows he's nearly defeated.

The Metatron has a "Tell", and we see it in this scene. A Tell is an unconscious action that shows a person is lying or deceiving. The Metatron's Tell is a deep breath, a sigh, when the deception succeeds. We see it in the elevator -- his sigh of relief when Aziraphale gets in. Here, it's a small breath with a full shoulder shrug as he says, "Well we have things to talk about." The Tell signals, "Ah, that worked well. Just as I planned."

He knows by now that they had Appearance Swapped after the almost-Apocalypse. He's very clever, and scorns the angels as foolish. He would not have believed that Aziraphale could suddenly spout Hellfire. He's a master at the game of interpersonal chess. He would have recognized that bold bluff.

The Metatron pressured Azi to drink, showing him the "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death" logo, and watching him so closely-- because if they had Appearance Swapped again, Holy Water would DESTROY Crowley if he drank it.

It was a potential check/mate move. A win-win. If that was Crowley, appearance-swapped with Aziraphale, he'd either have to admit it to save his own life, which would put Crowley completely under the Metatron's authority for the ruse, or he would drink and Die. (Did the Metatron want him to?)

If it's Aziraphale, the Metatron wants him to be fully aware of the Holy Water (which Azi is, especially after tasting it). Our dastardly Heavenly Host wants him to know Very Clearly just how Dangerous the Metatron can be. "I've ingested things in my time, you know." His tone is odd, purposeful. His face is intense, watching in an almost predatory way. Is he really saying, "I've destroyed demons before, you know"?

It's the threat to Crowley that we suspected was right there all along.

There is an essential post by @f0ul-f13nd (and @embracing-the-ineffable ) about the ominous meaning of the word "jigger" you really should also check out. When the Metatron says "jigger", it's a dangerous, terrifyingly loaded code word. Aziraphale is now "captured", imprisoned. There will be no free choice for him.

The Metatron also wanted Crowley to know, or to at least recognize the threat. The Glare. It's why Aziraphale looked back, to make sure the Metatron wasn't lingering to smite Crowley then and there.

Crowley is a brilliant, and suspicious, demon. Based on the way he rose from his seat and paced, he suspected something nefarious had occurred. He was sitting back watching everything vigilantly. He knows his Angel.

It's very easy now for the Metatron to put Aziraphale in final Checkmate at the cafe. All he needed was further mild implication: "Previous exploits... de facto partnership... the demon Crowley...Your- Friend... highly irregular..." It's very possible that the memory we saw was real, undistorted, and undiluted. Perhaps even word-for-word.

The Metatron didn't need to say anything more explicit. The attempt on Crowley's life was already made. He implied another would occur, if his will was not followed. Look at Azi's eyes. There is no escape.

Checkmate by coffee. The Metatron's winning move had already happened in the bookshop

Aziraphale will protect Crowley at all costs. We know this. Our angel is a loving, protective, self-sacrificing Badass. So he did. He's on his way to Heaven, grinning madly in an elevator.

..........

Once I suspected that this direct attempt on Crowley's life happened, my brain started lighting up, and all the theories and ideas I've been trying to work out for months suddenly fell into place! This is only part of a theory I'm calling The Chess Moves Theory Set. The Metatron believed this was the winning move, Checkmate. It Was Not. Our Ineffables are in Check, in serious danger, but they have more moves to play in this Matter of Life and Death. (Yes, I'm referencing the 1946 movie "Stairway to Heaven" that @sendarya talks about in Good Omens Love or Law, Which is Stronger? )

There was far more in play here than we could easily see. There is coded language, and distraction. This 8-part series explains how it all might fit together, all the moments that made us asks questions. If we look at all of them at once, instead of one by one, I think they start to make more sense. I hope you might enjoy checking out the rest of The Chess Moves Theory Set @wistfulnightingale.

Thanks for joining me on this crazy ride!

The 8 Chess Moves MetaTheory Set:

1 - The Metatron Misdirection

2 - The Metatron's Second Coming

3 - Ineffables in Check

4 - A Hefty Jigger of Death

5 - Nothing Lasts Forever

6 - The Circle Kiss Theory

7 - The Nightingale DID Sing

8 - Aziraphale's Jubilant Smile (Not the crazy elevator grin)

Also: The Chess Moves Theory Set, Why Chess & Magic?

Shout out to @imagopersonal for their post about finding coffee in the opening credits, and a great analysis in Give me coffee or give me death !

[Btw, there may (or may not!) be a miracle sound at 35:49, precisely as Aziraphale begins to raise the cup and says, "Shall I?" Some people hear it, some don't, and some disagree about what it is. With earbuds and high volume, I clearly hear a light jingling/sparkling sound. It reminds me of a "whispered" version of the miracle sounds when Nina takes Maggie's hand at the Ball, and when Aziraphale suddenly appeared next to the Bentley in the "Our car, our bookshop" scene in E2. If it IS a miracle sound, I propose that it is Aziraphale himself, miracle-scanning the coffee to see if it's safe.]

[seospicybin]

HOMESICK.

The next chapter of Haven.

Bangchan x reader. (s,f)

Synopsis: After being separated by the distance, Chan learns to build a new home with you. (11,7k words)

Author's note: Sorry it took a long time for me to finish it. You can definitely read it without reading Haven first. It's a sweet fic of domestic romance with Chan. Swear to you there's no angst in it. Happy reading!

What makes a home?

Well, it takes two to build one.

It started with the need for each other's presence in life.

"My bed feels so empty without you," he said into the phone.

You chuckled in response, "or maybe your bed is too big,"

You heard the faint sound of piano playing in the background, "the neighbor is playing the piano again?"

"Yes, here listen," chan held out his phone on the balcony so you could listen to the piece of piano.

"You heard that?"

"Yes, it's Nocturne by Chopin," you said to him.

"It's so nice," he sighed.

"Yeah," you also sighed.

"Gosh, I miss you so much," he softly said.

And you felt it too, how the distance between you drained the life out of you the longer you were away from each other.

"I miss you too," you said back and wished that saying it would lessen the ache of being away from each other.

It became a habit of him calling you whenever he misses you, or you miss him, or when something reminds any of you of your shared memories.

And this habit only made this longing for each other more intense, turning all the wants into needs.

Until one night none of you could take it anymore.

"Come back to me," he said with so much desperation in his voice like a wayfarer who had traveled long without water.

"I need you here. Come back!" He said again.

It was either of relief or joy, but you cried because he wanted it as much as you did.

"Move in and mess my place again," he said.

You laughed into the phone, "yes, okay," you answered without thinking because your heart yearned for him, to be in his life again and him in yours.

"I'll wait for you at home,"

"See you at home," you said to him knowing that those words wouldn't just be empty words anymore.

If you ask again, what makes a home?

You always thought that when you found it, your heart felt it, that sense of comfort you didn't get anywhere else, an instant serenity like you're exactly where you belong. Your heart felt lighter but full at the same time, lighter because you know all your weariness disappeared in an instant, and full because your heart filled with warm feelings.

You felt all that as he hugged you.

After a year of being separated by miles and miles of distance, you came back home, to him and the heart that beats inside his chest where your home truly lies.

"Welcome home," he whispered into your ear.

And you hugged him tighter because it felt like a dream still.

"Chris..." you muttered into his chest then looked up at him.

You had thought over and over about your decision to move in with him, not that you doubted him but it was a big decision that required you to move abroad but also left your job and life back there to move on to new things entirely.

"Thank you for coming back to me," he sincerely said.

And that was enough to convince you that this was the right decision.

The year you had spent away from each other was excruciating, tormenting, raging storms and dark days, the distance did nothing but made you both vulnerable and restless, you didn't need each other to merely exist but something just didn't feel right.

It was nice to go out of the house once in a while but if you were away too long, it dawned on you, the homesickness.

"I'm so happy to be home," you said and the agonizing pain of being away from each other disappeared at that moment.

The sound of the piano welcomed you back into Chan's apartment and you went to the balcony to listen to it loud and clear.

They played Beethoven's Piano Concert No. 5 and it couldn't be more a perfect piano piece to play on such an occasion.

Chan came up from behind and wrapped his arms around you, "it feels complete now,"

You put your hands on his and rested your head on his shoulder, your head tilted upward at the night sky dotted with stars.

"No, it isn't," you disagreed.

You pressed a kiss on his lips and he gladly returned the kiss.

"Now it is," you said against his lips.

He smiled at you and sank his mouth in yours while tightening the hold around you, not letting you go again.

Having you on his bed again felt like a dream.

The shape you took against the white sheet, there's nothing like it.

For this one night, he wanted to make sweet love to you.

He touched you so tenderly as he would to a flower with so much tenderness, fingertips trailed your smooth skin and raised goosebumps all over you.

"You're even more beautiful than I remember," he murmured with eyes following his hand squeezing the flesh on your waist.

You never felt more loved and admired in your life, but he did more than that, worshipping every inch of your body like you were a goddess.

His mouth endlessly whispered sweet words into your ear.

"You're so heavenly."

"My hands can't stop touching you."

"Gosh, I miss kissing these lips."

"My love..." he sighed with so much delight and contentment.

The sex was slow and steady, continually thrusting into you with the same depth and intensity. Mouths incessantly kissing you, hands clasped with fingers slipped between the spaces of your fingers, perfectly like they were made for you to hold.

Chan was overwhelmed, it felt as if he had sex for the first time all over again and it was because of you, you made it all happen for him.

You rested your head on his chest with him resting his back against the headboard, your legs tangled together under the duvet and your foot rubbing his shin.

He kissed you so tenderly and seemed won't stop doing it, "I can't believe you're here," he said.

"I can't believe I'm here," you repeated.

It all still felt like a dream to you, it was only hours ago you have separated miles away from each other but here you were, cuddling with him on the mess of his bed.

"I can't believe you're doing this for us," he said with utmost sincerity and a bright smile.

But you smiled at the word 'us', which was the word that means so much more than just a part of English vocabulary, it means having and owning, you and him, together at last.

"I trust you," you said.

"I trust us," you corrected, lacing your hand with his.

You knew the future was distant, not within reach but you gradually approaching it, things are inevitable, good or bad. You didn't want to think of what the outcome would be, you put your faith in you and him, on the word 'us' and hoped that the word etched in both of your tombstones.

Chan kissed the back of your hand then placed it on his chest with his heart beating under the skin and bones, "I trust us," he said back.

If you want to build a home, you started by having a strong foundation: trust.

-

"You don't have to work, I'll provide for both of us," Chan confidently said to you while serving you a plate of breakfast.

You cooed in awe, "wow, that's very tempting!"

You slid the plate closer in front of you and took a sip of your juice before picking up your spoon.

"It's just an option!" He said with a shrug and that foolish grin of his.

He sat next to you with his plate of breakfast in front of him but his hand rested on your thigh, "you don't have to worry about the interview," he assured you.

"You'll do great!" He kissed your cheek to manifest his words into you.

A little before you left, you applied for a job at an art gallery and secured an interview. You forgot how nerve-wracking a job interview could be but once you have done it, it felt so relieving, and surprisingly, you didn't worry about anything else after that.

Chan came home for dinner, smothering you with kisses the moment he stepped into the apartment, only letting you go as your lungs shriveled from running out of oxygen.

"You're cooking dinner?"

You nodded.

"How's the job interview?"

You put your hands on the collar of his shirt, "You'd better wash up and back in five minutes, dinner is almost ready," you told him.

He smiled and pecked your lips, "yes, ma'am!"

The neighbor started playing their piano early that night, they played Piano Sonata No. 12 by Mozart, the piece began with a soft key then switches to an even softer key, and you let the calming piano music wash over you.

"How is it?" You asked as he ate his dinner without saying anything.

"It's so good that I can't stop eating," he praised, wiping his mouth with a napkin to kiss you on the cheek, a compliment to the chef.

He drank his glass of water and paused eating, "so, the interview?" He picked up the conversation you had earlier.

"I just got the call a little before you came home," you said.

"And?" He leaned forward, eyebrows wrinkled in curiosity and anticipation.

"I got the job," you announced with a smile.

Chan smiled like he knew it was going to happen, that he was right, you did great like he predicted that morning.

You both stood outside on the balcony and listened to the neighbors playing Franck's Piano Quintet.

Chan held you from behind, putting his hand around your waist and the other hand trailed down your arm with his fingertips lightly rubbing your skin.

It was so nice to stay in a moment like this with you, encased in comforting, warm feelings like all the problems in his life are a world away. Just you and him in your iridescent little bubble, sharing touches and syncing your breathing, hearts beat as one.

He angled your head to meet his and didn't waste time capturing your lips in his.

"Are you going back to the studio?" You asked, knowing that he likes to keep himself busy in there.

He shook his head, "why would I want to be anywhere else but here?" He asked back with a smile.

He didn't want to be anywhere else but here, close to you with his hands touching your soft, warm skin for as much as he wants and have you the way he wanted.

On the bed with your legs spread open for him while he pushed his cock deep inside you and it mesmerizes him still how you take him well every single time.

"Always tight for me," he murmured.

You locked your legs around his waist while his hands reached for yours, holding them while he pounded into you, his eyes fixated on the way his cock slipped in and out of you.

"Chris..." you breathlessly called his name.

"I love how you call my name," he said between his groans, picking up the pace at how easily you riled him up just by calling his name.

When he cum, he slowly pulled out and heard you whimpering at the sudden emptiness. He rubbed your abdomen, waiting to see his cum leaking out of you and when it did, he sighed in satisfaction.

You sat up on the bed and saw his cock still firm despite just cumming inside you a moment ago.

You scooted closer and rubbed the tip of his cock slick with both of your bodily fluids, so softly with your fingertip.

"How are you still this hard?" You asked in pure curiosity.

"I could make love to you every night and it will never be enough," he boldly stated.

It's that easy for him to make your heart flip and aroused at the same time.

"There's no use for me to stop you, huh?"

You already knew the answer without needing him to say it and that was why he laughed, his tongue poked his cheek and he had no idea how attractive that looked on him.

You kissed him with your hand wrapped around his length, positioned yourself to let him enter you one more time, eased down on him with your eyes closed, and felt this cock stretch you again.

It seemed to take him by surprise that Chan wasn't prepared, he gripped your waist so hard you were sure he left crescent marks on your skin.

You put your hands around his neck and hastily kissed his open mouth, moving your hips in a circular motion to feel his whole length inside you.

"You feel so good inside me," your voice broke at the end of the sentence, feeling his cock engorged inside you.

He couldn't speak, his head was foggy with immense pleasure to process your words and respond to them.

"So good, Chris," you cooed, softly grinding back and forth on his lap.

And just like that, you made love to him or either he made love to you, every night was the same except that the pleasure doubled every time your bodies collided and your needs were fulfilled, ever-growing, insatiable.

His alarm clock rang at the crack of dawn, you jolted awake but he hurriedly turned it off and cuddled you back on the bed.

"It's my alarm, you go back to sleep," he whispered to you along with a kiss on your bare shoulder.

Sleep was easy when his touches worked wonders to put you at ease and his kisses were soothing and comforting.

You woke up a while later with him pacing around the bedroom, collecting his things, and putting his shirt on.

"You have an early schedule?" You mumbled while rubbing your eyes.

"A radio interview," he shortly replied.

He climbed onto the bed, brushed your hair away to caress your cheek with a tender look on his face, "I'll be back at dinner time,"

You nodded with a sleepy smile.

He went on to kiss you on your closed mouth because he knew you didn't like kissing in the morning without brushing your teeth.

He pecked your lips again before getting off the bed, slung his backpack on one shoulder then left.

You clutched the duvet to cover your bare chest and shifted on the bed, still drowsy and it was still too early to get ready for work.

"I forgot something," Chan walked back into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed to kiss you.

"I love you," he said and sneaked a quick peck on the lips.

"Good luck on your first day at work!" With a long lingering kiss this time.

You smiled even though you were running out of breath from the kiss, "I love you,"

"Have a good day at work!" You returned.

He took your hand and kissed your knuckles, reluctantly letting it go before he left the bedroom again for real this time.

I don't think I can have dinner at home

It's alright, love

But I'll come home as soon as possible

See you at home

And he was glad that you were waiting for him at home this time for real.

He got home a little after midnight and saw you were sitting on the bed, painting your toenails with blue nail polish.

"Do you need help?" He asked, put his backpack on the desk, and took off his hooded sweater.

You outstretched your hands to hug him while sitting on the bed, "hey, baby," you properly greeted him.

He then sat next to you and pressed a kiss on the side of your face, "How's your first day at work?"

"Long," you shortly replied with a sigh.

You looked so adorable looking sullen like that he couldn't help but kiss your pouty lips.

"Let me do it for you," he offered, taking the small bottle of nail polish from you and lying on his stomach with his head looking over your feet.

"Even your toes are so cute!" Chan praised as he focused on the task at hand.

You watched as he carefully and intently painted your toenails one by one until they were all polished in cobalt blue color.

"How are we looking?" He asked.

You looked down at your feet, wriggling your toes, and smiled, "Well done!"

He looked at you with a grin, satisfied with his work. He then started blowing air on them, making you softly laugh at how it tickled you.

Chan looked over his shoulder and saw you with a questioning look on his face.

"My feet are sensitive," you informed.

That came as new information to him and one that would come in handy when it comes to giving you the right touch.

"You would love some foot rubs then," He proceeded without waiting for your answer and started giving you foot rubs, slipping his fingers in the spaces between your toes and gently massaging it, teasing your sole and making you giggle.

Chan got a little mischievous and planted a soft kiss on the bridge of your foot.

"What's that for?"

"I just wanted to kiss it," he answered, lifted your foot in his hand, and kissed your instep.

You knew he has something planned in his mind for you and you could only watch what he'll do next.

Chan made a long trail of kisses from your ankle to your inner thigh, not stopping even though his head was between your legs, forcing you to spread your legs open for him.

You put your hand in his hair and softly scratched his scalp, "Chris?"

He put a soft kiss on your inner thigh, "yes?"

"I have bad news for you," you said.

His head snapped at yours with eyes widened in slight shock, "what?"

"I'm on my period," you told him with a grimace.

He sighed with eyes closed, that was the last thing he worried about. There are so many things he can do to be intimate with you, it doesn't have to be always about sex. He can touch you, caress you, touch you, cuddle you, and at times, maybe that wouldn't be enough for him but as long as he's with you, it will always be more than enough.

He crawled over your body and hovered above you, pressing his full lips on yours.

"But I still can do this, right?"

You answered by returning the kiss, "have as much as you want."

-

A new home needs some adjustments and Chan is aware that he hasn't adjusted yet.

Sometimes he forgot that he shared a place with you, he was so used to living alone and living in his way. It resulted in a few conflicts, and disputes. The issues varied from financial issues to trivial things such as he forgot to take out the trash.

And this morning, he found you giving him the glare with your hands carrying the basket of laundered clothes.

"Let me guess," Chan grabbed his chin between his fingers, "I forgot to take out the laundry from the dryer again?" He asked with a grimace and a guilty expression on his face.

You nodded with a thin smile.

"I'm sorry," he grumbled, taking the basket from you and carrying it to the bedroom.

"I told you, let me do the laundry for us," you said, taking a piece of clothing from the basket and folding it.

"I'm sure you're already tired from working," Chan said while also folding his clothes on his lap.

"And you don't?" You raised an eyebrow at him with a triumphant smile.

Chan knew you'd just won the argument.

He didn’t think of it when he asked you to move in with him, that you and he would have something to argue about but funny enough, Chan enjoyed it. When he got mischievous, he would bother you until you get so annoyed. 

And sometimes, you make each other mad and he would be the one who makes up with you first because he couldn't stay mad at you for long.

On bad days, the argument heated and things went all over the place, you would be the first one to leave or tell him to leave you alone to avoid saying things you don't mean to say to each other.

But at the end of the day, everything was solved with a deep talk and ended with a kiss.

On the other hand, you like seeing him mad. He looks so hot doing it and you wondered how is that possible.

He would get quiet, jaws all clenched which only accentuates the shapes, and his eyes giving you an intense stare, letting you know he was indeed not satisfied with something.

This was no time to be horny, you bit your lower lip to hold the urge to just throw yourself at him and instead, slowly came up to him.

He sat on the single sofa and played with his phone, you decided to sit on his lap and rested your head on his shoulder.

"Why are you so mad?" 

He didn't answer, his eyes stuck to his phone screen and made his face glow in bluish light.

"He's just a colleague from work, we had a few glasses of wine and he insisted on sharing a cab. That's all!" You explained the whole thing in a soft tone with a hand rubbed down his chest.

He still didn't answer but furiously typed into his phone.

He looked like a sulking little kid and it was adorable to you, you couldn't help but let out a low chuckle.

"Chris?" You called.

He didn't even turn his head at you.

"Baby?" You tried calling with a pet name and still failed.

"My love?" Again, with another pet name he usually called you with.

"Channie?" You rarely called him by that name but at that point, you were willing to try anything.

Chan finally turned his head at you and you held yourself from smiling out of triumphant, batted your eyelashes, and pouted at him instead.

"I'm sorry," you sincerely apologized, then buried your head in his neck.

You put your hands around his neck and hugged him, staying like that until he melted into your embrace, holding you back with a hand rubbing the small of your back.

You looked at him and muttered, "I love you,"

That seemed to dissolve his anger away and his eyes turned tender, "I love you," he said back.

You smiled because it always felt nice to hear it or have him say it back to you, there was nothing that came close to the happiness it brought to you.

You kissed him first and he returned the kiss with the same passion, hungrily even.

You broke the kiss to catch a breath.

"Why are you so jealous? You are hotter than him," you said.

You hastily kissed his lips for a second then brought your mouth close to his ear, "and oh, when you're mad like that," you softly groaned.

"So hot, I think I get a little wet," you intentionally turned your voice low and sultry.

Chan smirked at you with his tongue slightly poking out from the corner of his mouth, "only a little?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Why don't you check yourself?" You dared him.

And you shouldn't dare him in the first place, that earned you a few slaps on your inner thighs as he fucked you relentlessly with your legs wide open for him.

Chan is not the type to hold grudges but when he was given the control, time, and space for it, he will do it.

Your hands locked in his death grip as he pinned them by the wrists on your abdomen.

He thrust into you so hard it reverberated throughout your body and your head hit the headboard each time he rammed himself into you.

"Isn't this what you want, mmh?"

You were a moaning mess and tears squeezed out of your screwed-shut eyes, overwhelmed by the sensations. You were unable to respond to any of his words but kept whimpering in a mix of pleasure and pain under him.

Even when you were cumming, Chan didn't slow down but kept thrusting into you and a loud moan ripped out of you.

He placed his mouth on yours to muffle the noises you made and gently bit on your lower lip, making you yelp in pain.

It was the first time that he gets so rough with you but still was a gentleman about it after.

He endearingly caressed you and touched you with so much love, kissing your face as he repeatedly asked, "are you okay?"

He wiped the tears from your eyes with his knuckle, "are you hurt?"

You shook your head, "I'm alright."

He kissed your lips and your cheek after, "still like it when I'm mad?"

You nodded.

He chuckled and pulled you close, wrapping his hands around you, and planting small kisses that made your heart flutter.

"I'm sorry," you apologized to him.

He smiled at you, "it's just me. I hate seeing you with someone else."

"I told you, you're the most beautiful for me," you assured him.

"Yeah?"

You eagerly nodded.

"And you're the most beautiful to me," he said back as he looked deeply into your eyes.

And you like the way he looks at you like you're his most prized possession like you're the only one existing in his world, like you're wholly, truly his.

It was wrong to think that the makeup sex was the only best part of it.

-

Chan likes how you invaded his life.

Your warm smile replaced the void that usually welcomes him home, your laugh filled the quiet in the room, your scent clung to the bedsheets, and your body became his comfort pillow.

He couldn't look around his place without seeing a trace of you, instead of feeling like he doesn't belong there, he feels quite the opposite.

He feels at home and he believes that's because you're in it.

It was very unusual of him to come home early that day and it was even rare of him for wanting to cook, he planned on greeting you home from work with dinner.

He heard you unlocking the door and he waited for you to notice him standing by the threshold with his arms open.

The surprised look on your face tells it all, you were happy to see him that you immediately crashed yourself at him.

"You're home early!" You exclaimed as you threw your hands around him.

He lifted you off the ground and hugged you tight, "I'm cooking dinner," he told you.

"Really?"

"What's with the surprised tone?" He narrowed his eyes at you.

"Nothing," you answered with a sly smile.

He let the conversation slide and kissed you, a long kiss that makes up for the hours of not seeing you. You let him as you always do, letting him deepen the kiss and have as much taste of you as he wants.

You gasped when he broke the kiss, "go get changed," he said.

He gently squeezed your waist, "I'll prepare dinner."

You nodded and obeyed his words without complaint, went to the bedroom while Chan made his way back to the kitchen.

He stirred the soup he was simmering on the stove and added a few seasonings to perfect its flavor.

What you said to him earlier got into his head that he started to doubt his cooking.

"Babe, can you come here and taste it for me?" He shouted as he kept stirring the bubbling soup.

"Just a minute!" You shouted back from the bedroom.

"It only takes a second," he said back to urge you to come to the kitchen.

"Coming!"

You came behind him and he scooped a spoonful of the broth, he blew on it first before feeding it to you.

"A little bit more pepper will do," you suggested.

Chan sprinkled some into the pot and stirred it, having another taste test with you.

"Good?"

"Perfect!" You replied.

He triumphantly smiled and held your face to kiss your lips, he was expecting to feel any sort of clothing on you but instead of that, his palm met the warmth of your skin.

That was when he realized you came to the kitchen half-naked.

"What are you doing?"

You were covering your breasts with your hand but then you didn't feel the need to since he has seen everything. Also, you didn't want to miss a chance to tease him.

"I was barely dressed when you called me here," you explained.

He gave you the unsatisfied look on his face but it could be two things, mad or aroused, you couldn't tell which but he looks so hot nonetheless.

You took a step back to give him a better view of your body only dressed in white shorts.

"Also, you're not the only one who can walk around the house topless, you know," you said with a playful grin and kept walking backward in the direction of your bedroom.

It's something unexpected like this that keeps things exciting in your relationship and your body will always be enticing to him.

He rested one hand against the kitchen counter and tipped his head to the side, "Oh, is that so?"

You nodded and said, "I can do what I want with my body."

You teased him more by cupping your breasts in your hands.

"They're mine!" He said in the most possessive way.

You shook your head, "no, sir. These are not your property!"

He pointed his spatula at you with a deadly glare on, "pull your pants down!"

"No!" You refused while lingering in the doorway of your bedroom.

"I said pull your pants down!" He ordered once again, louder.

"No!" You answered with a daring smirk and ran into the bedroom without closing the door.

Chan turned off the stove and ran after you, chasing you into the bedroom while you squealed in fear and excitement.

"PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN!!!"

"NO!!!”

-

However, these unexpected things can also come unpleasantly.

Just like that day when you urged him to come home, he could hear that you were in distress and needed him. He couldn't just drop everything and go, but he tried to make it work, put everything on hold and he'll be back to it after.

You were looking rather anxious as you rushed toward him the second he stepped into the apartment.

"Did something happen? Are you hurt?" He asked while rubbing your back and kissing the top of your head.

He sat you down on the sofa and held your hand, you looked wan and shaken, and your eyes usually filled with glints looked empty that night.

He squeezed your hand to let you know that you weren't alone, "I'm here, my love, it's okay," he assured you with a hand cupping your jaw.

You weakly smiled and held his hand back, "I don't know how to explain this but I'm a week late to my period," you began.

Chan already knew where this headed but it would be wise that you and him to be on the same page about this.

"Have you taken a test?" He asked.

"I'm afraid to do it alone," you sounded so small when you spoke.

He could feel that you were severely anxious and he understood why you needed him. He wrapped his arms around you, taking you into his embrace to offer you the comfort and safety that you needed.

"I'm here and I'll always be here for you. I'll take responsibility for whatever going to come," he murmured to the top of your head.

"I love you," he kissed you on the forehead.

He waited by sitting on the bed as you took the pregnancy test in the bathroom, he got nervous as well. He tried not to think further ahead, he wanted to focus on being present for you.

A few minutes later, you got out of the bathroom and he got up to walk up to you. You hugged him and rested your head against his chest.

"I was so scared," you mumbled with a long sigh of relief.

Chan took it that the result is negative, and he felt a little sad about it then again, he can't be selfish about this.

"I know, baby," he said and kissed the side of your face.

You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, "I'm not ready yet, Chris," your voice broke at the end of the sentence.

He tightened the hold around you and stayed like that for a long time, just holding you with so much love.

"I feel bad because I know you want this," you spoke into his chest, right to his heart.

"No, no, no..." he whispered to you, "you give me more than what I asked of you."

He then held your face with both hands and tenderly kissed your lips, "and I know I'm irresistible but I think we should be careful from now on," he said with a playful smile.

You softly chuckled and kissed him back, "okay."

Chan took it as his job to always remind you on taking your birth control every day. He would send a text at one point in the day to make sure you did.

"Did you take your birth control today, babe?"

"Take your pill today, beautiful!"

"Don't forget to take your pill, my star shine."

Along with other questions on whether you have taken your meals or not. He knows he has to take part in it too by resisting a little whenever the urge came up.

It was easy to say but seeing your body and not touching it was a different thing.

Especially when he came home after a long day and saw you still awake in bed, looking so effortlessly beautiful barefaced with his t-shirt on while sitting against the headboard.

A piece of classical music was playing from your phone and that was why you didn't hear him coming into the room.

"Hey, beautiful girl," he greeted as he put his backpack down on the table.

You glanced up from your book to find him standing at the end of the bed, "hey, my beautiful boyfriend!"

You immediately put your book away as he got on the bed and crawled to you, "let me guess... Chopin?"

"Nope," You put your hands around his neck.

"It's Valse Sentimentale by Tchaikovsky."

Chan leaned in close and grazed the tip of your nose with his, "did you just speak French?"

"Yes, I did."

"Hot!" He murmured and kissed your lips.

It was one of those nights he feels needy for you, he wanted to selfishly make love and be one with you. He kissed you so hard to let you know how much he wanted this.

"Did you take your birth control today?" He asked when he let go of the kiss.

"Yes," you answered.

"Good girl!" He praised you and placed his plump lips on your neck.

He dragged his mouth close to your ear next then softly whispered, "I want to cum inside you tonight."

You turned your head to look at him and he believed you already sensed how much he needed this but first, he needed to know if you consented to this.

"Okay," you said with a smile.

He gave you a long peck on the lips, "I'll go shower first," he said.

When he returned to the bedroom, the lights were dimmed and soft music playing from the portable speaker.

The sight of you bending over the bedside table to light a scented candle welcomed him.

You already changed into a revealing night dress that he could see your naked body through the flimsy fabric and it was safe to say you weren't wearing anything underneath.

The towel hanging low around his hips wasn't enough to cover his hardening cock.

You turned around to find him ogling over you and you walked up to him, trailing his glistening wet body with your hand.

You didn't hesitate to place your mouth on his neck and tasted his freshly showered body, "mmh..." you delightfully hummed.

"You smell so good," you spoke so low it was almost like a whisper.

Your hands slid down his sides until you met his towel, "we don't need this," you said, proceeding to take it off of him.

It has always been him who takes control but that night he wanted you to have control, he wanted to be taken care of by you.

He obeyed when you told him to get on the bed and lay face down, he didn't ask any questions when you lather your hands with fragrant oil and started to massage him.

"You're so tense," you said as you knead on the tensed part of his back.

Chan couldn't say much when you gave him just what he needed.

"Turn over, love," you sweetly ordered.

He complied and lay on his back, seeing you smiling at him as he rested his head on the pillow.

"That was so good," he commented and pulled you by your neck to kiss you.

You smiled against his lips as your hand started to roam around, feeling his taut muscles under your fingertips. You placed a hand on his chest to stop him from getting on top of you.

"Let me take care of you tonight," you muttered.

How could he say no when that was what he wanted and you were giving it to him with a soft smile on your face?

You began by kissing him then made a long trail of kisses from his face down to his chest, stopping by to give a soft lick on each nipple.

The hair brushed his body as you continued your trail of kisses down his body tickling him and at the same time, inexplicably arousing him.

When your hand finally met his swollen cock, he let out a low gasp from his parted mouth. He closed his eyes to feel your soft hands pumping his length, doing it so carefully to give him the utmost pleasure.

You gathered all of your hair to one side of your shoulder and kneeled next to him as you took him into your mouth, little by little.

You paused a few times to catch your breath and kept doing it until you took all of him inside you.

The night dress you were wearing rode up as you bent down over his crotch, exposing your sex to him.

He used the opportunity to knead on your ass cheeks and eventually, teased on your wet core with his fingers.

He could feel the noise you made, vibrating against his cock and it drove him to the edge.

After a moment, you let go of him with a loud popping sound. You lifted the hem of your night dress as you positioned yourself on top of him, kept holding the dress lifted with one hand while the other aligned his cock to your entrance.

He watched as your face reacted to his cock slowly entering you as you kept easing yourself down on him, you took him well every time.

You let out a low giggle once you took all of him, "so good, so good inside me," you murmured with your eyes closed.

Knowing that you enjoy pleasing him only aroused him more that he wanted to pin you on the bed and fuck you all night. But that wasn't the plan that night, he would let you please him your way.

You rested both of your hands on his chest and looked into his eyes, "Ain't I a good girl? I take you well every single time," you lowly said.

He brushed your hair to the side and held it there, "such a good girl for me," he praised.

You smiled in pride and started to roll your hips in circular motions as low moans escaped your slightly parted mouth.

You set a steady pace as you moved back and forth against him while Chan was drowning in the pleasure you brought him.

The thin strap of your night dress slid down your arm, sending your breast spilling out of it. You shot a look at him and asked, "want to take care of it?"

He was more than willing to do it for you. He got up while you settled yourself on his lap without pulling out.

Chan licked his lips before taking your breast in his mouth, sucking on the flesh. You suppressed your painful yelps as his teeth nibbled on your nipples and did the same with your other breast.

He got impatient and took the nightdress off of you in a blink of an eye and he didn't wait to bury his head in between your breasts as you kept moving on him.

You slipped your hand into his soft curls and held him close, "Chris..." you softly called his name.

He looked up at you with his head still between your mounds.

"Someday you'll breed me, yeah?"

He sank his mouth on your neck as you kept talking to him, "I believe it would easy for you, mmh?"

That, he believed is true, getting you pregnant would be a pleasure to him therefore it would be an easy task for him.

He hastily kissed you on the lips and filled his hand with your breast, "I want to see these full of milk," he said against your lips.

His hand moved to your stomach and rubbed it endearingly, "I want to see you with a baby bump," he added.

You seemed to like the ideas too from the way you clenched around him. He knew you wanted this too but you need more time for that.

You briefly kissed his lips, "someday, baby, someday," you promised him.

Someday might be a few months later or takes years, however, he liked the sound of that. Someday sounded possible, full of hope.

You looped your hands around his neck and picked up the pace, "for now, fill me up," you told him.

"Fill me up with your seed!"

Your eyes fiercely stared into his black orbs as he stared back at you with eyes heavy with lust, "will you do that for me?"

"Yeah, yeah," he repeatedly answered with ragged breathing.

"Will you cum for me?"

"Yes."

You pressed a hard kiss on his lips, "you're close, mmh?"

"So close," he shortly replied.

You kept moving at a steady pace, sending him to the edge where he could plunge into the high that would take him soaring to cloud nine.

The words you kept muttering to him gave him the push he needed.

"Cum for me, baby!"

"Chris, oh!"

"Fill me! Cum inside me!"

An ecstasy-like feeling surged through his body as he reached his high, he pushed his cock further into you to plant his seed deep inside you.

He continuously grunted as you cooed at him, "yeah, baby, I can feel it inside me."

Chan kept grunting while you started to hold him and slowly took him down from his high by kissing him, placing touches on his body to keep him in intimacy.

"Look at you, letting me take care of you," you cooed with a sweet smile as if you didn't just fuck him real good.

He couldn't contain his feelings in a moment like this he felt like he could move a mountain for you if you asked him to, "I love you so much, you know that?"

You kissed the palm cupping your jaw, "I know, Chris."

He held you tight and stayed like that for as long as he could, bonding through touches and bodies becoming one with you.

He turned over to lay you down on the bed to let you rest and slowly, he pulled out of you. Some of his white seed leaked out of you and kept dripping, seeping into the bedsheets.

"You came so much," you said with a sly smile.

He would be lying if this didn't get his cock hardening despite he just cummed a few minutes ago.

"Maybe you should refill it," you said as if his mind was see-through and you saw that he was thinking it.

Most of the time, unexpected things came as temptations he can't resist.

-

How do you even begin to describe what Chan means to you?

He's your home and you like living under his roof, one that protects you from the blazing sun and keeps you warm on winter days.

As time passed, a home went through so many things, storms, rains, and summer heat. Then a house would need a few fixings and you fixed what you could.

In the home you built together, you started to see a crack in the foundation, a small one that you could only see through a magnifying glass, small but it bothers you so much.

With a little understanding, you got it that not all of us can be perfect human beings. We all have flaws that we try to hide, so you put a rug to cover the crack so no one couldn't see it.

"You came home late lately," you hated to sound so demanding to him but he had been absent from most of your days that you started to feel things aren't right anymore.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy," he came with the same answer to every question you asked him: Why he's late to your anniversary dinner? Why he forgot to buy you the cheese you need for the pasta you cook? Why did he keep forgetting to do the favor you asked him? Why why why?

Way before you decided to start this relationship and moved in with him, you knew that he would always be busy with his work. You understood and accepted it, but what you didn't know is that he would keep everything to himself.

His kisses are lovely, his hugs are warm, his touches comfort you, he cares for you, he worries you, and he lays next to you every night yet he wouldn't share what keeps him up all night.

"Why are you still awake?" You asked, placing your head on his chest.

"I have a lot on my mind right now," he replied with his hand brushing your hair.

"Want to share with me?" You knew you can't force him to talk if he didn't want to.

"It's something you shouldn't worry about," he said.

You tried to be an understanding partner to him so you didn't push him further and thought that you've tried your best, you did enough by it.

"I'll be the big spoon tonight," you said.

"Huh?"

You turned his body to the side and put your arms and legs around him, spooning him from behind.

"You're so big, baby," you groaned as you struggled to wrap him in your arms, "I can't hold you."

Chan chuckled in response and helped you to put your hands on his chest instead, then he put his hand on top.

"This is nice," he softly hummed as his body relaxed against you.

You nuzzled your nose into his hair and drank his scent, "my big baby," you cooed.

He turned his head to capture your lips in a kiss, "I love you," he sweetly murmured against your lips and his love confession still sounded as sweet.

Somehow, even if you have covered the crack with the prettiest rug, it bothered you still.

-

Chopin's Prelude in E Minor was playing from the neighbor's balcony. Which is a very fitting piano piece that sounded just as hopeless as you were. The end of the piece is particularly sad as the melody seems to just fade away into nothingness.

Chan came home late again that night.

You heard his footsteps outside the bedroom, probably having a drink in the living room like he always does lately. You got up from bed and decided to come to join him, who knows that he might like the company?

"Channie is home!" You surprised him with a smile.

He smiled seeing you, holding out his hand for you to take, and sat you on his lap, "why are you still up?"

You curled up on his lap, resting your head on the crook of his neck, "come to bed," you mumbled.

He rubbed your bare back with his knuckle and glided his hand down to the curve of your ass, gently squeezing the flesh there.

"Chris..." Your voice echoed as you called his name.

"Yes?"

You put your chin on his shoulder to look at him, "you know you can tell me anything," you assured him that you are more than eager to listen to whatever he wants to share with you.

He let out a deep sigh and stared at the ceiling, resting his head against the headrest of the sofa, "I'm just tired..."

You looked at him and he looked rather exhausted, you didn't want to pick a fight when he was like this but unfortunately, you got to the point that you couldn't let this go on anymore.

You got off his lap and sat next to him, "What's going on with us?"

The question seemed to wake him up and he sat up straighter to face you, "I know I haven't been here much and I'm sorry, it's just me," he apologized but was overly vague about the reasons why.

"What is it?"

"It's just..." he deeply sighed again and let out a long breath, "I'm just so tired with work and everything."

Again, it was very vague and didn't answer your question.

"Is there anything else, though?" You tried again, speaking calmly to him to not make him feel pressured.

"No, just that," he shortly replied.

Your heart sank, you were disappointed with the answer he gave you and all these things you kept to yourself started to burst out of you.

"I don't understand why you're doing this. I don't understand what this is ab—" you stopped yourself from talking.

A lump was forming in your throat and it grew bigger as you thought of ways to tell him how you've been feeling about all this.

He got defensive all of a sudden so he grabbed your hand and made you turn to look at him, "what are you saying?"

"I'm starting to think that I'm crazy..." you kept swallowing the tears rising inside you.

"You're saying everything is fine but all I'm getting from you is distance and anger," you got choked on your words and took a deep breath to calm yourself.

"I'm not—" Chan pinched the bridge of his nose, he was probably trying to not snap right then and there.

"Where is this coming from?"

You looked at him even though you knew he could see your glossy eyes, "you keep me guessing everything so I started overthinking things and doubting myself..."

Tears rolled down your cheeks, "you make me turn into someone that I'm not."

He held both of your hands on your lap so tight his knuckles turned white, "I never asked you to be anything—"

You hated how he made you a very demanding person that asks anything from him when all you wanted is to be someone he can rely on. You tried so hard to provide a safe space for him but it seemed like it was never enough for him.

You let go of his hands and got up from the sofa, "I don't want to talk," you said, ending the conversation early before any of you said things you don't mean to.

It came as surprise to him as well that he stayed quiet and stunned by what just happened. You didn't wait for him to stop you, you got in bed and started crying.

Frustrated over how things turned out, it was alright a few minutes ago but it was the calm before the storm.

You could only wait and see if the house still stands strong in the morning.

-

The house survived.

But the crack in the foundation grew bigger and the rug could only cover as much.

You were packing things when Chan came home, you didn't know for what because it was past dinner time and he didn't say he will come home early.

You haven't talked since last night but he kissed you before he left this morning.

You turned around to see him walking into the bedroom and he saw the suitcase, "are you leaving?"

It was heartbreaking to hear that, he thought you'll be leaving because of the argument you had.

"The director wants me to bid for a painting," you quickly explained before he got the wrong idea.

He sat at the end of the bed, "For how long?" 

"3 days," you replied.

"When will you be leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning."

There was a silent hang in the air after and it was suffocating, how the two of you have so much to say but at the same time, none of you wanted to risk the relationship.

"Want to talk about last night?" He asked.

But you weren't ready for that, you weren't sure how you feel about it yet but ultimately, you wanted to talk about it when you're prepared with whatever you get at the end of it. Good or bad, you weren't ready for it.

You sat next to him on the bed but avoided looking at him, you stared at your feet instead, "I don't like who I am right now," you told him.

"I need time to think," you added.

Chan nodded in agreement, that it was best for the two of you to take time for yourself to think things through and the work trip just happened to come at the right time.

"Let's do that, yeah," he said with a defeated sigh.

When it was time to go, you dragged your suitcase in the direction of the door and Chan followed you from behind.

He looked miserable in a way that reminded you of that day when you left him to go back to your home country.

It was painful but it was the right thing to do, you both needed the space to grow, reflect on yourselves and find a way to overcome this.

He went to hug you and you hugged him back, exchanging the warmth that you both need in a time like this.

He went to kiss you after with both hands holding your face as if you were a fragile object.

"I love you," he muttered as if he put the essence of him in it and gave it to you to keep.

"Come back safely," he said as he let go of the hug but kept holding your hand in his.

And when you left, you took a piece of him with you and he hoped for you to return it because a home is not a home if no soul is living in it.

-

It was the distance that separated you once and it happened again for the second time.

But this time, he got separated by the distance he created himself.

Firstly, he didn't mean to do that to you. He was used to keeping things to himself and he wasn't aware that what he did drives you further away.

He understood why you felt that way, if only he told you everything, you wouldn't keep guessing what he keep inside him.

Secondly, he didn't want to burden you with this. He's willing to go through the pain for both of you.

When he thought about it again, he knew it was wrong to keep you in the dark and made you keep guessing your way in. He was wrong to do that when all you've been doing was being open to him, you even let yourself be vulnerable around him because you trust him, trust that he would never hurt you.

Trust is hard to earn yet you gave it to him anyway, and he didn't do the same to you.

That was the part he did wrong. He had been taking you for granted.

And these past two days without you only bringing back those excruciating days of being so far away from you.

The empty bed, the quiet space, the stillness that lingered in his apartment felt like a void without you.

He longed for you.

Even when he was home, he felt homesick because his true home is you.

He went home knowing that you'd be already home and probably asleep in the room, tired from the trip.

When he sat on the bed next to your sleeping figure, God... He was beyond grateful that you came back to him.

He touched you there to feel your heart beating under his palm and accidentally woke you up.

You sleepily smiled at the sight of him.

"You're home," you croaked.

"I am home," he answered without a beat.

He caressed your face and looked at your face, pouring all of his admiration through his tender gaze.

He didn't want to hide from you anymore, he wanted you to have all of him, wholly and completely.

"Can we talk?"

You rubbed his forearm, "okay."

Chan brought you a glass of water while you waited on the sofa, he insisted on doing it for you when you could do it yourself.

"Thank you," you muttered and took a little sip of water.

Chan didn't sit next to you but kneeled in front of you and took both of your hands with his head tilted up to look at you.

"I am so sorry," he began.

He rubbed your fingers as he spoke, "I didn't know what I did would hurt you this much."

He licked his lips to continue talking, "I do that. I'd be upset about something and not be able to say it. When someone senses there's something wrong, I'd deny it."

He sighed in regret, "it's a bad habit of mine."

You looked into his eyes and turned his hands on your lap, letting you hold them for him.

"I don't want to do that anymore," he stated and it's a decision he must take to save the relationship.

"And I want to tell you everything."

He needs to start to learn to share his burden because a relationship goes both ways.

You smiled at him and opened your mouth to speak, "these past few nights that I spent by myself made me think a lot."

You interlaced your fingers with his and continued speaking, "how you've been treating me and I thought... why do I love you?"

Chan felt breathless as if someone emptied the air in his lungs, anticipating what you'll say to him next.

"There are no logical reasons for that question because I don't need one."

You took a breath and cupped his face in your hand, "but I trust myself. I trust my feelings. That my love for you is real."

Chan finally let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, knowing that you still love him means a lot to him.

But still, he needed to hear the rest from you.

"I'm not going to try to be anything other than who I am anymore and I hope you can accept that."

"I can. I will," he repeatedly nodded to convince you.

He brought your hand close to his mouth and placed a long kiss on the back of your hand.

"You know, I can feel the fear that you carry around and I wish there was something I could do to help you let go of it," you said with your hand going in his hair and softly scratching the back of his head.

He shifted his attention back at you, eyes never straying away from yours even just for one second.

"Because if you could, I don't think you'd feel so alone anymore," you finished with a soft smile.

Your hand went in his hair and softly scratched the back of his head.

The moment that being said, Chan felt like he was the luckiest man in the world to have you. You are so many things to him and he's glad to find that in someone, in you.

"Gosh, you're beautiful!" He muttered heartfelt praise at you.

"Thank you," you muttered back in gratitude and a sweet smile.

"Can I kiss you now?" His eyes filled with hopeful glints.

You chuckled at him and gave his hair a ruffle, "since when did you ask for permission first?"

You held his face in your hands and softly landed your lips on his, giving him the kiss that he badly craved.

A kiss that rejuvenated his soul and gave him a will to go on, a kiss that sets everything back to square one and starts anew.

You both smiled at each other as the kiss ended.

Chan then rested his head on your lap and let you play with his hair, tangling his soft curls around your fingers.

"Can I be the little spoon tonight?" He asked.

"Absolutely!"

He grinned like a little kid and without warning scooped you up from the sofa, carrying you to the bedroom.

You giggled into his neck as he sneaked a kiss on your temple.

"You're too big," you groaned as Chan pulled your arms and wrapped them around him, struggling to make your hands meet. He took your leg next and put it over his waist, he wanted to be cocooned in your warmth.

"This is perfect!" He sighed the moment he successfully put your hand on his chest and put his hand on top.

His other hand went to caress your thigh and doing it so tenderly as if he was caressing a sleeping kitten.

"This isn't Chris," You playfully remarked with your head resting so close to his.

Chan was enjoying the comfort of your cuddle to provide a verbal answer, he responded with a hum and little noises.

"This is Channie," you added.

"Mmh," he cutely responded with a tiny nod.

You lowly chuckled into his ear, "Baby Channie!"

If he heard that from someone else, he wouldn't fancy it as much when it was you who called him by it. He turned his head to look at you and kissed you.

"My big baby," you cooed at him with a quick peck on the lips.

It felt good to be in someone's embrace and not think that he was weak for doing that.

All this time, he always thought that he needs to be the one in control and be the one who takes responsibility for everything, be the bigger person, strong, brave.

As he stayed there feeling small in your embrace, he knew for certain that you were stronger, braver, and bigger than he thought. You had been through so much in this relationship yet you were still here for him.

This home that you built together is only as strong as your relationship and the two of you make great, sturdy pillars.

-

The sun was out but that wasn't the only thing that woke you up.

Chan's fingertips trailed down your spine and you gasped as you felt his warm lips on the nape of your neck. He noticed that you were awake, proceeded to kiss your cheek, and brought his mouth close to whisper in your ear, "Is it too late to have the makeup sex now?"

You silently smiled and squinted through your eyes to see the time, you have to go to work in under two hours. You calculated it in your head if you have time for what he wants.

"No," you answered and spun your head to meet his gaze.

"But I don't think we have enough time for that," you added with a pout.

His hand got ahead of the conversation and started to cup your sex, "we'll make it alright," he assured you.

"You think so?" You slurred.

He captured your lips in a hungry kiss, "mmh."

Chan was undeniably gorgeous with the pale sunlight shining down on him, making his sculpted abs appear more defined and his pale skin glowed.

Not to mention, he was thrusting into you slowly and each thrust went deeper than the previous.

It was never just sex with him when he put all of him whenever he did it. He didn't need to say anything, his body tells it all.

His hand firmly holding you yet he tenderly touched you in the right places. His intense stare told how much he desired you yet his eyes filled with admiration for you. His passionate and deep kisses told how much he wanted you yet his lips never ran out of sweet praises to mutter to you. His strong body held you without feeling like he was holding you back.

As he was making love to you, he made you feel like you're the only one he's giving all of his body and soul to.

When he cum inside you, he did it as a way to claim you.

"Take all of me," he murmured.

He hastily kissed you while he pushed his cock further inside you as he was still cumming, "take all of me, baby," he repeated.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and kept him close all the while you were feeling his cock twitching, engorging inside of you.

"You're mine," he breathlessly said against your lips.

"I'm yours," you said back.

"I love you."

"I love you."

Chan didn't let you go because what's more important to him is not the sex but the cuddles after. This is what took most of the time you had left to get ready for work.

"Stay," he said as he pressed a kiss on your lips with his arms caged you in between.

"I can provide for us," he casually said.

You smiled against his lips and gently pushed him away, "why don't you stay?" You aimed the question back at him.

Your hands cupped his face, "I can also provide for us," you added with a sly smirk.

Chan got quiet for a moment and nodded in acknowledgment, "okay, that's fair," he said in defeat.

When you returned from the bathroom still in your bathrobe with your hair already styled and your make-up done, you found Chan already picked your outfit for you.

He spread it on top of the bed, shirt, skirt even the matching underwear he wanted you to wear that day.

"Breakfast will be ready in a minute!" He announced as he saw you come to the kitchen to pour yourself a cup of coffee.

You went to give him a quick back hug but that wasn't enough for him, he turned around to give you a proper hug and a kiss.

A hand slipped under your skirt to knead on the ample flesh of your ass, "have you taken your pill?"

You nodded, "last night."

He kissed your cheek, "good because I want to cum inside you again tonight," he said.

You burst out laughing and exclaimed, "Chris!"

"What?"

"The day has just started," you stated an obvious fact and that you just had sex barely an hour ago. You couldn't lie though, the way he shamelessly and openly let you know how much he wanted you made you tingling inside.

He slyly grinned at your words, "I picked that underwear for you so I can take it off of you later," he said.

The fresh coat of lipstick you applied after breakfast went to waste because Chan wouldn't stop kissing you.

"We'll be late," you reminded him yet didn't stop him from placing another kiss.

"Just one more," he pleaded and gave you a long, lingering kiss that takes your breath away.

You didn't need to check yourself in the mirror to know that the lipstick faded on your lips. You quickly wiped it off of him, not letting him out of the door with your lipstick smeared all over his lips.

You both walk hand-in-hand to the elevator and waited for it to arrive.

"I'll be home for dinner tonight," he said to you at the same time the elevator chimed open.

"I'll order dinner," you said.

"Sounds great!"

He tightened his hold on your hand when someone else got into the elevator and pulled you to be as close as possible to him.

"Keep your eyes on me," he whispered to you.

You chuckled at his silly warning and decided to prove your loyalty to him by scooting closer to his side and then linking your arm with him.

You watched as his grin grew wider on his face like a kid who got his candy.

-

This is Chan's least favorite part of the day.

After the elevator arrived in the lobby, you had to part ways because you'll be taking a taxi to work while Chan headed to the gym nearby by walking.

It was like the hours he spent with you weren't enough for him and will never be. He wanted to stick with you all day if he could.

Wasn't it clear that he was so in love with you?

He got so weary every time he has to let you out to the world, knowing what it can do to a beautiful thing like you.

He grabbed your hand to stop and softly kissed you on the cheek, "be careful!"

"I will," you replied with a smile.

But of course, you could easily sense his worry but knows how to put him at ease, "I'll call you when I get there."

Trust. He trusts you, therefore he has nothing to be worried about. Slowly, he let go of your hand and set you free but kept you closer to his heart.

"I'll see you at home," you said with one final kiss on his lips even though you are the one who made a home for him.

Chan smiled for he was thankful for you and the stars that aligned his path with yours, destined him to meet you in this lifetime.

"I'll see you at home!" He muttered back as he knew he couldn't find a place like this again: a home in a person.

As he watched you leave and walked further away from him, Chan felt homesick already.

-

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[kitausuret]

Potential spoilers for All New Venom

But let's be real I'm just wildly speculating on one of the 4 candidates

I'm probably wrong, but the funniest possible thing Al Ewing could do is make Robbie Robertson the next Venom. It would actually kind of make sense, though:

- Especially when Peter was younger, teens and early twenties, Robbie was the closest thing Peter had to a father figure after losing Uncle Ben. The Symbiote has been agonizing over how poor of a parent it - and Eddie, too - has been in all the issues leading up to Venom War.

And it would've been able to glean from Peter that Robbie is a good dad. He's not perfect, but he loves Randy and wants what's best for him. Symby probably thinks it could learn a thing or two from him.

- Robbie is intelligent, resourceful, and street-smart as well as business smart. He was always the one who kept JJJ's moral compass more or less in line. He's not as.. shall we say, volatile as most previous hosts. And that might be a nice change of pace. He has insight into a lot of NYC society in general which is helpful when most of your hosts are just kind of... winging it.

- He's probably well into his 50s by now, but considering the Symbiote was able to cart around Eddie when he aged like fifty years, I'm sure Robbie would be no trouble. He also seems to be in pretty good health.

- He's loyal to those around him and is famously one of the most stable characters in the Spider-Man cast. And that's difficult to maintain.

But like, also, Robbie is the only one of the four that has any meaningful pre-existing connection to Spider-Man (and therefore to Venom). Maybe in the wake of his son's disastrous non-wedding and Gang War, Robbie is tired of being on the sidelines. So if he was approached by a certain alien after years of not being able to fight back... why not give it a go for a little while?

My only concern, I suppose, is if he would have to keep his new friend a secret from Martha. 🤔

[gabessquishytum]

Okay thoughts!

Virgin Hob (unlikely I know) and experienced fuck boi Dream.

Dream has a reputation for having very dramatic and steamy relationships that are over in like a weekend. Dream just falls in and out of love very fast.

His Saturday night is falling into bed with a stranger and dumping them by Sunday night basically.

So when he sees Hob, and likes what he sees, he just makes a beeline for him.

Hob is the opposite. Hob has only really ever had a high school sweetheart, Eleanor, who died tragically and Hob is starting to feel left behind. Also he recently had a bi awakening. So here he is at a bar, trying to lose his virginity finally. When the most beautiful man he’s ever seen starts talking to him, he just lights up under the attention. Hob also is an over sharer who promptly tells Dream why he’s there. And Dream just can’t believe that not only is this cute, sweet guy single, he’s also a virgin??

Dream buys Hob a drink and slides up really close to him in the booth and starts whispering in his ear everything he wants to show him and all the things he could teach him. He starts drawing little patterns on his jeans. Hob is smitten. Like instantly.

Later, Dream walks him home, fully intending to rock Hob’s world, and Hob happily kisses him on the doorstep and thanks him for a great date! And goes inside. And Dream stands there like … that’s it?

Fine. Fine! Once Dream has someone in his head he can’t rest until they’re in his bed. So fine. He’ll just have to try again tomorrow.

Suddenly Dream is sweeping back up to take Hob out to nice dinners and movies and walks in the park, and pulling out all the stops. It’s three whole agonizing weeks of wooing and dirty texts before Hob finally invites Dream home and Dream kisses him and gives him his first blowjob against the wall. But he takes him to bed for his first time.

Dream spends the weekend blowing Hob’s back out all over his flat, catching him up on years of sex. They order food in because the one time they tried to cook, Dream ended up fucking him on the counter while their Mac and cheese burned.

And Dream wakes up on Sunday expecting to feel nothing for him, not now that he’s had him.

Except he takes one look at Hob sleeping, his hair tousled, love marks on his neck, and thighs…and Dream doesn’t want to go.

When Hob opens his eyes and smiles at him, Dream smiles back, but he controls himself, thanks Hob for the great time and goes. He never promised him anything else. He was clear that he doesn’t do relationships.

Hob’s smile is a little heartbroken but he waves it off. He knew, of course, going in that Dream wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. So he holds it together while Dream showers and lets himself out.

Hob spends the next weekend in bed nursing a broken heart before he finally goes back out.

And Dream is fine with this. Totally fine. Until he sees Hob talking to some other guy at a bar and a wave of jealousy nearly takes him out at the knees.

Okay, maybe he’s really in love this time.

I must say that I really do like the idea of fuckboy Dream being tamed by Hob. Hob has high standards, as he should! And he's got a very specific idea of how he wants his first time to go. Admittedly he's a little bit nervous and the idea of jumping into bed with someone after only knowing them for an hour kind of scares him. But it's mostly that he wants to lose his virginity to someone who's worth his time. After 3 weeks of cute dates and teasing, he's absolutely sure that Dream is the perfect candidate. Hob is even hoping that maybe this could turn into a long term relationship!

And there's no problem about them being compatible in bed. Dream definitely does know what he's doing and he doesn't hold back. He's not used to being denied for so long and he's got so much sexual energy built up that Hob hardly knows what just hit him! It's amazing, though. He learns the parts of his body that feel best when touched and kissed, and he learns the same about Dream. Despite Dream saying that this is just a one time thing, it really does feel like making love when Hob has his thighs hooked over Dream’s shoulders and they're looking into each other's eyes.

It kind of sucks when Dream leaves. Hob was really hoping that he'd change his mind, but he can see that it's pure stubbornness making Dream ask like that. It really hurts, anyway, so Hob lets himself feel it. He doesn't regret his choice, but the memories of that wonderful weekend are always going to be tainted by a broken heart.

But! Hob is an optimistic person! So he gets back on the proverbial horse, and decides to maybe try a few hookups. Now he's less nervous about sex, maybe it's time try some new experiences. He meets a nice man (blond, buff and gorgeous) at the bar and has fun flirting with him - until he feels a hand coming down on his shoulder.

It's Dream. Of course. Looking physically pained and full of regrets.

"You shouldn't go home with him." He says. "You should come home with me. And... and I'll make breakfast tomorrow."

In all the weeks of dates and time together, Hob had never been over to Dream’s place. Nor had Dream ever cooked for him. He raises an eyebrow.

"And how do I know you won't change your mind and kick me out after breakfast?" He asks. Dream squirms and blushes.

"Because... its been a week, and I still love you. And as ridiculous as that sounds, it is the truth. I don't think I'm doing to change my mind about you ever."

And of course, Hob can't resist such a stupid, beautiful man. And they stay together forever <3

[heich0e]

the wake - miya osamu/f!reader (haikyuu!) part 8 in the bff!osamu series word count: 2.5k tags: angst, childhood friends to pining, every miya fic i write is just a thinly veiled love letter to the miya brotherhood and that is very clear here, angst gets worse before it gets better so be nice to me, ps: u ever heard the song vienna by billy joel?

The longest that you have ever gone without speaking to the Miya twins was thirteen calendar days—a single day shy of a fortnight—when the three of you were eleven years old. 

It all happened because you’d invited the twins over to see the brand new lava lamp you’d gotten for your birthday—the one you had been longing for relentlessly, and talked about incessantly in the lead-up to your big day—and, well, one thing led to another (as it often has the tendency to do when Osamu and Atsumu are involved) and the beloved lamp had ended up shattered across your bedroom floor only a few hours after you’d torn it from its pretty purple wrapping paper. 

Neither of the boys had been willing to take responsibility at the time, each pointing an identically vehement finger of blame towards the other, and they both refused to offer you anything remotely close to an apology—lest that somehow imply an admission of culpability. 

Your mother had sent them home after a stern, disappointed talking to and a call to their own mother (which she then echoed in a far less civilized tone when they returned home to her) and then they didn’t hear from you for almost two full weeks. It felt like an eternity back then, when life was small and days were long and just a couple of hours felt like a lifetime. You refused to come to your door when the two of them showed up knocking, didn’t answer any phone calls or instant messages they sent, and outrightly ignored them at school each day—hiding in classrooms on breaks between classes or behind the backs of other girls to avoid the increasingly desperate attempts of the twins to get your attention.

And so, on the two week anniversary of The Incident, the twins showed up at your door one last time—sheepish but earnestly remorseful—with a new lava lamp in tow. Thus the silent treatment was ended, reconciliation was struck, and there has scarcely been a day that passed since then where you had not been in some form of contact with the twins.

Osamu hasn’t heard from you in 6 weeks.

After the night of Atsumu’s party, he’d waited with bated breath to hear from you. His phone was on, sound at full blast and never too far from his reach. He knew it wasn’t really his place to reach out first. Knew you probably needed time to process things. To forgive him.

That first night he’d barely slept a wink, staring up at the ceiling of his living room, sprawled across the couch the two of you should have been sleeping on together, regretting every single moment of his life that had led him to this misery. He had texted you a simple: Let me know when you’re home safe please. It was a message he’d sent you countless times before, but never with so much urgency—but it went unanswered. It didn’t surprise him, even if it hurt. Even if it only added to the twist of anxiety turning his stomach into knots. More time passed. Seconds bleeding into minutes that turned into hours, each more agonizing than the last. He thought about calling you. Texting you again. Pulling on a jacket and chasing after you like he should have when you walked away from him hours prior. But he didn’t.

Osamu texted Atsumu first thing the next morning, with bags under his eyes and exhaustion in the marrow of his bones, asking if you’d made it back to the party safely. He’d wanted to reach out sooner—he’d had an entire sleepless night to think about nothing else, after all—but he’d waited for the sake of saving face with his twin. 

When Atsumu finally woke up and saw his message, replying back with a frightening ??? didn’t she leave with u?, Osamu’s worst fears were realized. 

After hearing from his brother, Osamu immediately texted your roommate—a girl you’d gone to college with, who might even have been considered your best friend had the twins not beaten her to the punch by about two decades. She and Osamu had always been on good terms, seeing each other semi-regularly over the years by virtue of their shared connection to you. You’d even once implied she had a little crush on him after Osamu had met her for the first time, though he had (for obvious reasons) never acted on the information. He felt no hesitation reaching out to her about whether or not you’d made it home the night before.

Yes.

Her icy reply came through almost immediately—even though it was early in the morning, even though he rarely ever texted her. The message was just three letters and a full stop, but it told him everything he needed to know: you were safe, and she knew what he’d done.

Osamu knew that the very least that he could give you in this situation was space, and he really did try, but he only made it two days of silence before he was reaching out to you again. His text had gone unanswered on that horrible, sleepless night where he had ruined everything, so after two days he finally tried to call.

It went right to voicemail.

His subsequent texts (and eventually calls) over the following days were similarly ignored, and every day that passed without hearing from you felt worse than the last.

Atsumu’s concern took root the day following his party, thanks to his brother's early morning text, and it only continued to grow. You were ignoring him too, the reason for which he had not the faintest idea, and the blonde inundated his twin for details as to what exactly had happened when the two of you had left his apartment that night.

But Osamu couldn’t tell him.

He couldn’t.

So he started avoiding his brother's calls and texts, too.

Osamu’s feelings for you were the only thing he’d ever, ever kept from his twin in all of their shared lifetime. And look where it had gotten him. 

But eventually—inevitably—Osamu finally broke. 

It was to be expected, really. He was hardly eating, scarcely sleeping, and any hours not spent robotically going through motions of keeping his business running were spent holed up in his little apartment. The apartment that now somehow reminded him far too much of you—like you had inked yourself as indelibly into the walls as you had the paint that you helped him apply when he'd first moved in.

Osamu showed up at his brother’s place at 11 o’clock on an otherwise completely unremarkable Wednesday night, still in his Onigiri Miya uniform, and as soon as Atsumu opened the door he burst—violently, spectacularly—into tears before he could even manage a greeting.

It must have been shocking, frightening even, for Atsumu to see his twin in that state. For him to have to help his brother’s crumpled frame across the threshold, over the step in the genkan, and to the couch in his living room—supporting the entirety of his weight to keep him upright. Atsumu had shown up a hundred times at Osamu’s door in not dissimilar states of heartbreak, but that was the first time he’d ever seen his twin—largely credited as the level-headed, rational one between them—like this. He’d always thought Osamu was just stronger than he was when it came to heartbreak; his relationships fizzling out with relatively little fanfare, and no substantial distress, and his exes sort of just faded into the background like they’d never even been there at all.

Atsumu never realized it was because his brother’s heart had never been theirs to break in the first place.

Osamu came clean that night in his brother’s apartment. Confessed to the sins he’d kept locked away in the recesses of his chest for so long, more fully and unequivocally than he had ever voiced the long-held secrets to anyone. And Atsumu listened. He didn’t tease him for his tears. Or berate him for keeping his feelings from him. Or yell at him for harming you and jeopardizing the friendship that the three of you had spent so much of your lives building. 

He just hugged him. Comforted him. Cried with him. Because that was what his brother needed from him more than anything else.

When Osamu calmed slightly, many hours later, Atsumu quietly admitted that he’d suspected there may have been feelings that his brother was harbouring but he’d never really known for sure. I figured ya’d tell me when you were ready. Those were the simple words he’d offered, with a little shrug and a gentle, wobbly smile. And it was the first time in all his life that Osamu realized that his brother had far more tact than he’d ever given him credit for.

Atsumu reached out to you again that night, though his messages to you for the past week had gone unanswered like his brother’s. He put his message simply. He told you that he knew what had happened. That he wanted to talk. That you were his best friend and he needed to see you.

The twins were laying side by side in Atsumu’s bed, neither asleep nor fully awake, when your reply came through.

I need some time, Tsumu.

The brothers shared a look across the mattress of Atsumu’s bed in the dim light of his bedroom, their eyes sore for crying and the harsh glare of the cellphone’s light.

They yielded.

A few day later, you finally reached out again, and agreed to meet Atsumu for dinner.

Just Atsumu.

The evening that Osamu knew the two of you were meeting without him, he was a mess. He burned half the food he tried to prepare at the restaurant, got a nasty cut on his finger when he was chopping carelessly, and almost charged a customer 250,000 yen for their 250 yen purchase. When the restaurant finally closed, he slumped over the counter with his head in his hands and waited.

Atsumu showed up not long after.

“It was weird," his brother confessed, fiddling with an edamame pod but never moving to bring it to his lips—curled down slightly as the corner as he spoke. "But I can’t go between the two of ya like this, and she can’t see me without thinking of you."

“She hates me,” Osamu rasped, a familiar, suffocating tightness swelling in his chest that had made a home there over the past two weeks. 

“She’s just upset,” Atsumu tried to console him, but Osamu could hear the wisp of frustration creeping into his twin’s tone. It wasn’t Atsumu’s fault—Osamu knew how hard this entire situation must have been for him, all as a result of the circumstances for which only he could bear the burden of blame. You’re Atsumu’s closest friend too, as much a part of the elder Miya twin’s life as you are the younger's, and Osamu didn’t take that fact for granted. Atsumu shut his eyes, sighing. “I think she’s confused, Samu. Hell, I’m confused and we shared a womb.”

Osamu’s eyes began to burn with a familiar, unpleasant prickle. He didn’t cry much about it anymore, now two weeks on, like he’d somehow run the well dry. But he’d occasionally get phantom pains behind his eyes, like the precursor to tears he knew couldn’t come. It was almost worse.

“I know,” the dark-haired twin finally muttered, his head hanging dejectedly.

“We’re gonna figure this shit out, but she’s gotta take some time to get things straight in her head first, alright?” Atsumu said softly, nudging his brother’s hand with his own, lending him encouragement in the warmth of their knuckles meeting. “Just give her that.”

So he did.

Osamu gave you another full month of time. 

Of space.

Of absence.

And now he’s here, six weeks to the day since everything went wrong.

Osamu drives home to Hyogo on a whim—the idea of spending another weekend holed up in his apartment, wondering each day if it would finally be the one where you call, is enough to make him feel sick. His apartment has never felt more suffocating than it has in your absence. Never felt smaller than it does without you in it, no matter how contradictory that sounds. It’s been a while since he went home to visit his mother and the boys from high school who stuck around into adulthood, and even though his childhood home is as rife with things that remind him of you as his current one, he can’t help but hope that the change of scenery might do him some good.

The Miya family home hasn’t changed much, if at all, since the twins were kids. As an adult, Osamu takes comfort from this fact—finds stability and familiarity in the walls and windows and roof that endure today in just the same way and in the same shape as they always have. His mother’s car isn’t in the driveway when he pulls in to complete the picture, but he hadn’t told her he was coming so he can’t blame her for not being there to welcome him. 

Osamu grabs his hastily packed duffle bag from the passenger’s seat of his truck, walking up the stone pathway his feet have trod upon so many times, in all their different sizes, to the door. He keeps his mother’s house key on his own keyring, because the last thing she’d said to him the day that he’d moved out—her hands, smaller than his own now that he’d grown so big, clasped around his as they held the little silver key—was that no matter what this would always be his home.

The genkan is the same. The coats in the closet are the same. The air smells the same, though there’s the faintest whisper of citrus in it as Osamu closes the front door behind him and toes off his shoes. His mother keeps two pairs of slippers at the door for him and Atsumu when they visit but his are missing for some reason, so he stuffs his feet into his brother’s designated pair before he pads off further into the home.

He can hear the television—the faint hum of a variety show or something similar drifting through the halls—and he laughs to himself that his mother has never quite been able to correct her bad habit of leaving the TV on even when she’s not watching it. He turns the corner into the living room, the sound of the television having grown louder the nearer he got.

And then he freezes.

The duffle bag he’d held loosely in his hand falls gracelessly to the floor.

And even though the television is right there, he can’t hear it anymore.

Because between him and the LCD screen, tucked under the kotatsu with a satsuma poised in hand half-peeled, is a face he hasn’t seen in six long weeks.

There, in the heart of the place that would always be his home, is you.