#ngl i am having a very bad time with this paper

[mirillel]

Catch of the day (me for scale lol)

[piccolos-bigtoe]

Oouugghhh, gueess who finished their homework assiignment…. This guy!!! Smiles big with too many teeth I am normal. I do not regret all the time I spent (I may spend more time to fix a fewwww small details….) I am so ready for the summer oh my balls………. I still have a few projects and papers to wrap up here for classes, I will pull through,,, probably…. It’s been tough ngl I feel like I JUST fell into the swing of things and now it’s ova, but that’s okay I’ll adapt

I swear to god every single one of my classmates better give me a standing ovation and kiss me on my beautiful beautiful lips when I present this in critique. I swear to god………. There better be crying…. Kidding I’m not that full of myself but I’m excited to hear what my graphics prof will say teehee…. I will probably print a physical copy of this (whether or not it will be good quality paper idk).

Also I got my portrait taken today on a silver wet plate (iirc), suuupperrr old form of photography. An artist traveled to my school and held a gallery + talk yesterday and I enjoyed it very much, I typically don’t go up on Fridays because I don’t have classes but I went with a friend to get out portraits taken and then watched the washout process of the plates!! Photography is crazy I don’t understand it. The only thing I’m kind of like dissapointed by is I’m typically not bothered by my skin or acne, but this type of photograph catches stuff SUPER WELL, like it’s kind of crazy, my friend doesn’t really have prominent freckles but on the photo they look way darker than usual. Same thing happened with my dry skin and acne, I don’t mind it too bad, but I was caught off guard a little bit to be honest lol. (Picture below w/my face cut off obviously…. I just wanted to show off my dress because it’s my prized Gunne Sax dress and like the only dress I will actually wear). Me and my two friends were the only ones who dressed up?? No one else did, which was kind of surprising, because this type of photo is rare to get just cause no one really takes them anymore or gets the equipment for it. Okay I’m done rambling tbh I am just procrastinating sleeping,, augh whatever goodnight…. I always post before I sleep…

[zhongrin]

hold you close to my heart

◇ characters ◇ zhongli, childe, xiao, al haitham, thoma, scaramouche

◇ tags ◇ modern!au, gn!reader, fluff, headcanon format

◇ a/n ◇ zhongli is ngl acting like an asian mom in this and i am not sorry. i need him in my life bc i hate fishbone (the number of times i've had a fishbone stuck in my throat- you don't want to know. let's just say pressing down my gag reflex is one of my talents now) and peeling shrimps.

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

tries to be as quiet as possible as he shuffles around the house while you’re asleep.

peels fruits for you.

will care for your hair for you (brushes / applies oil / braids)

debones any sort of meat-with-bone/shell dishes, including fishes and crustaceans for you (this might be the ultimate expression of zhongli’s love considering how much he hates the smell of seafood).

will not hesitate to spoonfeed you when your hands are occupied or if you’re forgetting to eat.

“zhongli do you know where did i put my shawl-” “second drawer, right side.” “and my dragon-printed socks-” “-is in the sock box on the third drawer, you probably missed it.”

will threaten people who wronged you with a sandal in his hands “i will have order!”

headpat machine - you want headpats? you’re getting headpats. you don’t want headpats? you’re getting a kiss on top of your head…… and a headpat <3

will fall into the habit of carrying tissues and hair ties and the everyday essential items which you often use.

slips his credit card into your wallet before you go out.

keeps your fridge stocked with groceries and pantry full of your favorite snacks (either by doing the shopping himself or getting them delivered to your doorstep when he can’t be around)

lets you pet the dogs you encounter on your walks first. also alerts you when there’s a cute dog in sight.

owns a special phone with the best camera in the market, just for the sake of taking your selfies.

headpat machine 2.0 - you don't want headpats? too bad you’re getting one! you want headpats? beg for it first, darling <3

buys you matching accessories. wears them everywhere and every time he’s out.

always walks on the side closer to the road. also holds your hand when crossing the street (and pretends he 'forgot' to release it afterward)

always lingers around you in social settings. not just because of his social anxiety, but also just in case you need something, he wants to be there to help.

lets you pat his head (and enjoys it immensely), but will murder-glare any other person who tries to do so (read: venti, heizou).

is only able to fall asleep in either of these conditions: 1) he is completely alone, or 2) he’s not alone but you’re with him.

piles up pillows and blankets and plushies on your (or his) bed as a silent invitation to cuddle. you tease him by saying “are you inviting me to your nest, little bird?” and he blushes every single time. it’s very adorable. please give this boy his cuddles.

corrects the typos in your papers for you. crosschecks your citations and adds comments detailing how you should add or remove certain things. he accepts payments in kisses. or super spicy curry. he’s not picky, really.

will dust your bookshelves for you (is it because he loves you or because he loves books? ….. don’t ask).

will wordlessly lift you up to cross a big puddle on the road. you only get to be bridal-carried if you're lucky. otherwise, you're getting the sack of potatoes' treatment because he's a bastard.

tells you that you have x minutes left to do certain tasks. yes, he has your schedules memorized. yes, he will flick your forehead if you keep whining and procrastinating.

will gently pull your head to settle on his shoulder when you fall asleep on the bus.

“did you cut your hair? it’s five centimeters shorter.” “you trimmed your eyebrows?” “your lips look pale today. have you eaten lunch?”

cooks and cleans for you. his payment? your awed smile. if you tip him with kisses he’ll be over the moon.

sends you daily cute animal videos. mostly dogs. or cats. or him being silly with his adorable doggie taroumaru.

will mess up on purpose just to make you laugh on your bad days.

buys everything in twos because he always, always wants to share it with you.

squishes his cheek onto yours and nuzzles you to show affection. you think you see dog ears and dog tails whenever he does this, but it's just a trick of the light... right??

refrains from drinking at parties just so that when you do, he can take care of you properly and get you back home safely.

denies your kisses in public but pulls you for a kiss every five minutes behind closed doors.

links his pinky with you when walking together (but on his bad days, he would really appreciate it when you link your arms with him).

looks so scandalized when you flinch from his touch - because somehow he’s a superconductor and most of the time you feel zapped just from touching him. just tough it out and hug him if you don’t want to deal with sulky!mouchie.

will not hesitate to try and claw people’s eyes out when they made you upset.

fills up your water bottle for you.

uses the same laundry detergent / perfume as yours. claims that he does it so you “won’t complain about how your clothes smell weird” when you stay over. he just wants his clothes to smell more like you so he can pretend you’re hugging him when he misses you.

© zhongrin | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @thestarsofenkanomiya | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @niverine | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @clovcly | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 4 A Locked-Room Mystery

You telling me I have to WAIT for new designs you kidding???

I have some 'neat plans' for MOTLE, idk might include New Fucked-Up Lore because what else is the cartoon for?? But I'll have to see

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Little Logico wanders outside, and is immediately grabbed!!

LOGICO: OH FUCK NO, I AM NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL!

As charming as that is, that’s not why the people picked him up. He’s under arrest! He’s thrown in a little jail cell - this is NOT the luxury prison Gico is used to. 

COPPER: THERE you are you little PRICK! LOGICO: OH GOOD GOD!

Yep, she’s here, alongside Champagne and Bluski. 

BLUSKI: Hey. CHAMPAGNE: Hi. LOGICO: Of course, of COURSE the usual suspects are following me. WHY AM I HERE?? PERSON: A prisoner has been murdered and you’re the murder person. LOGICO: Good to know. I blame Officer Copper. COPPER: Chillax, my brother. I’m not a psycho cop anymore. Heh, around here, if they thought I looked at a guy wrong they’d put me down as a ‘bad dog’. LOGICO: Right.

In what appears to be a miniature theater for watching interrogations, Logico digs a scrap of paper from under a beautiful couch.

“In a street fight, ten people always beat one.”

Champ checks the passage.

CHAMPAGNE: This is from the Big Red Book. Major Red wrote this. LOGICO: Do you know who that is? CHAMPAGNE: Heh. Yeah. Don’t wanna get yourself in with him. [walks away] LOGICO: ...Care to share ANYTHING else??

Logi explores a phrase Irratino always whispered to him - the tallest suspect has the cheapest pen. Now just by looking at them, Champagne is the tallest guy in the room, but by legal standards, Bluski is supposed to be taller, so his pen is very cheap.

LOGICO: It- It makes sense if you look it up.

Seeing that Logico ‘caught’ his pen trick, Bluski heads to the elevator and travels way up.

LOGICO: How big is this station? CHAMPAGNE: 25 stories. Final floor, they’ve been known to throw people out the window.  LOGICO: This is horrific. I’m starting to miss the luxury prison. CHAMPAGNE: We all do mate.

Irratino is back home, asleep. He is dreaming of a human police woman wearing boots. I guess something different happens in the dream, and he shifts and giggles. But don’t worry, Logico got the clue somehow. This obviously means Copper kicked the prisoner to death! She shakes her head madly and spits all over the place.

COPPER: HOW CAN IT BE ILLEGAL IF A COP DOES IT???? LOGICO: I hate you so much. COPPER: NO, YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME! I’M A ‘BAD DOG’! I’M- LOGICO: Oh. OH, YOU MEANT LIKE THAT- PERSON: No, no.

A couple humans walk over and start creepily petting and patting Copper.

PERSON: There is no need for a consequence - it was only a prisoner. COPPER: Huh. Kinda like these guys~ LOGICO: I hATE this so much. Can I leave now?!?! COPPER: Whatever, man.

Logico tears away. He needs to get to the violet isles as soon as possible… for some reason.

The end!

Let's try to ignore Copper flirting with some background humans

(ok slight rant but I've saved it for the end so as to not ward people off, you can skip it)

I know it sounds petty but like I swear to god if anyone posts a murdle artwork, the entire tumblr fandom will notice (which is great btw!), but then if I post an artwork it's only the same three or so people who might look at it and it's just...

is it really THAT bad?? like... what am I doing wrong... ngl it's starting to feel less like the art quality and more personal...

but um... yea. i'm trying my best i guess

Uh chonkers jumpscare

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[divinityandfanfics]

“ One in Millions ”

NEBULA

part 1 here

blurb: “streamer gojo has millions of fans, and fangirls. when he announced a meet-and-greet, he spotted you in the crowd. eventually, falling in love and approaching you after the event is over.”

a/n: this shi needed to be restarted bro my bad if it was slow

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ STARRING: GOJO SATORU

WARNINGS: mentions of freaky fangirls

REMINDERS;

☆ super famous streamer gojo

☆ female pronouns used for reader

☆ reader is just an ordinary fan of gojo

☆ like the DSMP, gojo is part of a gamer team named Jujutsu Kaisen

☆ non-curse au

»»————-　♡　————-««

RECAP

“so, how did it go?” suguru asks.

“good, i got her number.”

“congratulations! you won’t die alone now.”

“suguru! we’re not even together yet!”

“yet.”

“i hate that you’re right..” satoru’s head drops.

“i do want to make her mine. it would’ve been easier if she was one of those fangirls, but i don’t want them, they’re weird and freaky.”

“just shoot your shot, you’ll get there eventually.”

“sigh, you’re right.”

END OF RECAP

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you and your friend got home, and you were just getting ready for bed.

until, a familiar sound of the notification rings in your ears.

you walked over to your phone, seeing a text.

clicking on it,

--

- ‘hii’

- ‘if ur wondering why i asked for ur number’

- ‘its because u look very pretry :33’

- ‘pretty**’

‘oh? you think so?’ -

- ‘yes’

- ‘you look angelic’

- ‘icl’

- ‘tbh’

- ‘ngl’

‘well if you wanna court me,’ -

‘i don’t usually give in on the first day’ -

- ‘well damn ??’

- ‘aight miss’

- ‘i’ll try my hardest then’

- ‘before that’

- ‘whats ur name’

‘(y/n)’ -

- ‘pretty’

- ‘how old ??’

- ‘just wanna make sure yk’

‘i’m 21’ -

- ‘nicee’

- ‘23 here’

‘i already know.’ -

--

satoru smiled while looking at his phone’s screen.

he’ll try everything,

for you.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

truth is,

you weren’t going to say yes to him.

but, you decided to wait.

because you felt bad.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

after a few months,

satoru has been sending stuff to your house.

flowers, chocolates, and love letters.

you both have also been hanging out,

whether it’s just to the park or at a restaurant.

he pays for the food.

he wasn’t lying when he said he will try his hardest.

you smiled, reading the letter he sent today.

--

“hi!

hope you know that even if you take a long time to love me back, i’ll wait ♡

just don’t try to love anyone else other than me while i’m courting you, okay?

love you!

streamer admirer; gojo”

--

you felt your heart flutter,

folding the piece of paper and putting it on the kitchen counter.

“that counts 37.”

37.

37 letters were sent to your house.

maybe his feelings were genuine.

you thought about it,

yes, you felt butterflies flying around your stomach everytime you read a letter.

yes, you loved him.

wait what?

did you?

yes.

it’s time.

it’s time to tell him.

you loved him.

you reached for your phone,

heart feeling like it’s going to jump out of your chest.

--

‘satoru’ -

- ‘why the first name :((’

- ‘am i in trouble’

‘no’ -

- ‘then what’

‘meet me at corazón del café.’ -

- ‘OH MY ??’

- ‘are my prayers about to be answered’

‘8 pm’ -

- ‘one more hour ;)’

- ‘hoping i dont get rejected’

--

8:00 PM, JULY 12, 2024

you sat on your chair, waiting for a certain albino fella.

the door of the café opened,

and your gaze traveled to said door.

you saw satoru, in a cozy hoodie with some jeans.

he walked towards your chair, waving at you.

“hiya!” he smiled.

“so, why did you wanna meet me?” he said, sitting on the chair infront of you, the table sitting comfortably between the both of you.

you both order a coffee, and you catch satoru looking at you while you stir your drink.

“well, i want to answer your question now.”

“oh.” he said, smiling so hard it must’ve hurt.

“i’m excited to know your answer!”

“...”

“yes.” you muttered, watching satoru’s eyes widen.

“a-are you serious?” he stuttered.

“well, yeah..” you answered.

“so, does that mean that.. we’re together now?” he asked with hope in his eyes.

you nodded, smiling so sweetly at him.

“YES!” he chided, the other people in the restaurant taking glances at him.

“alright─ alright, don’t get too loud now.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

the next day, you woke up feeling relieved.

like you just felt all your problems washed away.

you did your morning routine as usual,

the familiar “ding!” of your phone alerting you.

satoru’s starting a stream.

you reached for your phone, clicking the notification which lead you to satoru’s stream.

“hi chaat~” he giggled at the camera.

“i’m very happy today!” he said, spinning his chair around.

--

suguru_geto143: “i wonder why”

togeee_salmon: “@suguru_geto143 you already know don’t you”

fush1gur0_m3gum1: “why r u so happy”

kirbyuji_itador11: “yeah tell us why”

suguru_geto143: “@togeee_salmon obviously”

gojoscoloredeyes: “did you get the skin you wanted so hard??”

sunshinedawnsonme: “why tf is bro so happy”

gojosleftkidney: “are u high gang”

tyrannosaurusrex: “bro is actually tweaking”

you-are-all-gaymers_2: “stop giggling like a madman”

heartsfor_olderwomen: “he possessed”

--

“the woman i’m courting said yes!”

he said, smiling so hard it has the potential to reach heaven.

“we’re now together! my beloved..”

--

fush1gur0_m3gum1: “what.”

gojoscoloredeyes: “are my ears deceiving me”

suguru_geto143: “gojo i told you youll get there eventually”

[🎥] satoruu_99: “@suguru_geto143 i love you no homo”

--

at first, you just waited because you felt bad.

but you didn’t realize that you were also slowly falling for him.

you chuckled,

your relationship has a long way to go.

until

you heard another notification.

--

- ‘i wanna go on a date with u tomorrow’

- ‘also u can come over to my house :)’

‘no thanks’ -

‘i kinda don’t wanna’ -

- ‘NO I PROMISEE’

- ‘I LOVE YOU I WOULD NEVER’

- ‘TRY TO DO ANYTHING TO U’

‘maybe when i know you more’ -

- ‘we have literally been texting for months about each other’

- ‘and hung out’

- ‘remember that time we like’

‘alright i get it i will come over tomorrow’ -

‘geez’ -

- ‘YAY’

--

satoru smiles, the camera catching it.

knowing that, if he didn’t see you in that event,

none of this would’ve happened.

happy with his decisions.

he turns off his phone, turning to the camera.

“i love her chat!” he said, smiling like crazy.

--

suguru_geto143: “thats sweet”

togeee_salmon: “stop ur kinda making me jealous”

fush1gur0_m3gum1: “ngl thats actually sweet”

gojoscoloredeyes: “damnn”

sunshinedawnsonme: “DO YOU HEAR THAT YOU FANGIRLS”

cupcakelover: “hes actually inlove oml”

mosquito_lovesblood: “and i thought ww3 would happen first”

kirbyuji_itador11: “AWW GOJO CONGRATSS”

--

the end. ♡

[casually-slips-into-coma]

spoilers for iwtv s2e4

my thoughts after a rewatch:

i know claudia hates the baby loves window play but she ate up that little song

the lulu role really is so humiliating :(

louis’ expressions whenever he watches these plays always kills me lmao he hates theater kids

louis and armand talking over each other to daniel

armands theater notes lol

claudia no eyebrow big eyeliner look is kinda cunty ngl

im a fan of sam the irish vampire

making claudia be lulu all the time oooh armand i hate u so bad

almost threw up watching louis and armand give different answers to the companion question IN FRONT OF THE COVEN that shit was so embarrassing

i wouldve kms if i was armand

vamp catfight

armand stuck in this situationship dont worry king we’ve all been there😔

literally telling each other i love you and still having the what are we conversation

“do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret” plsssss

louis only able to use the fire gift when hes angry👀👀 gee i wonder if thats gonna come back👀👀👀👀👀

louis going🤨🤨 to the schizophrenia question like it came out of nowhere

armands face while louis talked about dreamstat why not just shoot me in the head

loving these dutch angles whenever daniel dissociates and gets an armand memory

santiago looks so good in the gold suit? robe thing??

claudia santiago friendship is killing me santiago i know what u are

claudia killing the guy singing baby lu

i like that you can tell claudias french has gotten better. nice small detail

i love scenes of louis and claudia just talking about non vampire things

santiago mimicking louis was pretty cool

buffoon sighting!!!

whole dinner scene bangs

the guy saying theres smth “fragile” about armand in the photo louis took and louis saying “no he’s anything but” and then the guy saying “you’ve captured the soul he hides” 🤌🤌

louis would never survive a 4 hour art school critique

daniel telling a girl he’d only do her if she had a paper bag over her head??????

claudeline truthers how are we feeling

context for the eating paper clip in the trailer

romeo!!

armand is so down bad its sick

madeline tailoring a yellow dress for claudia😟😟

the whole claudeline interaction was great

amadeo☹️🔫

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!

the way armand talks about marius

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF x2!!!!!!

“no one has painted me in 400 years” fuck

madeline period blood moment. theres so much here about femininity and maturing might make a separate post about this scene

armand pinning claudia against a wall armand i hate you so bad

we already know that armand is powerful but seeing him choke and manhandle santiago really solidified that i think

picked another one over me!!

delainey is ACTINGGGGG

louis not believing claudia about armand ooooh louis i hate you so bad

love makes you stupid clock it

louis still referring to claudia as his daughter in his head (thru dreamstat)

louis just actively talking to himself girl do that in your head

park bench moment <3

“wanker” i giggled sorry

that suit is his favorite on him :(

“im a little wet” and armand instantly pulling out an umbrella, armand lighting his cigarette, armand calling him maitre

louis calling him arun and armand calling him maitre and then louis throwing away the lighter this fucking scene is cinematic art

the other coven members calling santiago maitre

i kinda like that daniel can hear them arguing from another room. i feel like its a very human experience? really domestic? even given the circumstances

armands eyes were never brown!!!

san francisco flashback episode might kill me im not kidding

insane way to end the episode

ok this was much longer than i thought it would be but this episode has a lot in it. each episode gets better and better and this is definitely my favorite of the season so far.

i am LOVING louis and armands relationship and also both of their story arcs and characterizations. their dynamic is kind of the opposite of what i, and i think a lot of other people, expected but it still makes total sense and im enjoying it a lot

god i love this show

[otterloreart]

Art Prompts: 

1-TV Headed Men

2-Moth Dolls

3-Planet Themed Mermaids

4-Milkshake Dragons

5-Ice Cream Themed Superheroes

6-More Magical Pony Art (I Love Them!!)

7-Ocean Themed Space Aliens

8- Sea Snakes (They’re awesome! Here’s a link to an article about them: https://blog.padi.com/sea-snake-facts/) 

9-Snakes With Prosthetic Arms

10-An Otter With A Cute Little Bow In Her Head

I got way inspired by the sea snake prompt apparently and spent way more time than I meant to on them! I included the whip snake (highly stylized) as an example of a "land snake" (opened up one of my herp books to a random page).

If they were toys like the other snake designs they would include stands to represent the fact theyre "swimming" whereas the land snakes would have slightly more flat bottoms so they can "stand". The sea kraits have round bodies with flatter tails while the seasnakes have vertically oval bodies.

These designs are not 100% accurate to real snakes, obvi, they're artistic reinterpretations of the snakes design. For ex: the whip snake has a stripe, but also has very distinct scales, so I made them diamonds. And the eyelash shapes are just for cuteness.

ok facts about sea snakes I want to add to clarify some things stated in that article (just adding my own knowledge/clarifying things (PLEASE do not take offense to this i am glad to read facts about snakes i just have brain worms when it comes to snakes))

put under cut because it was getting too long

"to keep things simple" isn't... right: theyre split into different categories because they're separate evolutionary lines! And there are a handful of other differences (although the article does go into those later, but ngl thats why i dont like lists organized this way). Anyways, it makes it sound like these categories are not relevant to the evolutionary history imo

I would have clarified that while they all do have paddle like tails, the kraits actually have bodies more similar to land snakes, whereas the true sea snakes have vertically elongated bodies to make swimming easier and are bad at being on land.

Okay so this is true mostly EXCEPT we built a huge canal through panama and there have been sightings of sea snakes on the "wrong" side of the panama canal, specifically yellow-bellied sea snakes which live on the pacific side. There are no breeding populations, but due to human intervention there's potential risk of them being introduced.

See this is why I was like the categories aren't for "simplicity", the sea kraits are separated from the other sea snakes because of their many differences: a major one being that they come on land to lay eggs! A number of snakes all over the world give birth (though yes, not in the ocean) to fully formed (not "nearly") babies!

I would just add that this is part of why they can't cross over to the Atlantic! here's a paper!

...all snakes are carnivores (hence, weird thing to say)? unless you count eating eggs as being "not a carnivore". in which case this would be untrue because the turtle-headed seasnakes (genus Emydocephalus) eat primarily fish eggs!

and this one isn't quite right because of turtle-headed seasnakes again! They have almost no teeth except tiny fangs and as far as I can find are either mildly venomous or nonvenomous. since they dont hunt their venom glands are vestigial.

Sea snakes and kraits are elapids, which include other highly venomous snakes like cobras, coral snakes, and all of the highly venomous Australian species!

While doing research on realistic snake plushies, sea snakes made by WildRepublic were one of the major clear attempts at a retailer trying to be scientifically accurate.

Kraits DO actually look like cartoon animals

and yeah the olive sea snake does really look like that:

(although the olive one has apparently been taken off their website?)

although the way they title and tag their products continues to piss me off to no end, like this is an EEL not a SNAKE, they're just out here spreading misinformation and confusing things.

they completely rebranded in like 1999 because their wildlife plushies took off so personally I think they have a responsibility now to scientific accuracy since they took on that mantle. but i digress.

[sighonaraa]

🌹🌹🌹

For whatever your heart desires <3

(altho ngl your the bear posts are steadily convincing me I need to watch it so if you happen to have anything related to that I meannn… not gonna complain lol)

YES. YES. MY PROPAGANDA IS WORKING. please do watch the bear it is very good and will make you deeply unwell. highly recommend.

for you, here's a bit from the first chapter of Things Are Different Since You've Been Here Last (the carmy goes to live with donna for a few weeks and has a uh. a Very Very Bad Time. and then gets hugged about it. fic). it's a bit um. it's a bit long so i put some of it under the cut sjkdlfj.

“You were distracted, Carmy,” Syd says, so firmly that the hot, mean spill of words pressing up against the boundary of Carmy’s lips gets suffocated and dies. “You didn’t set a timer, and you grabbed that thing without mitts. Sure, the—the burn isn’t that bad—actually, I don’t know if I trust you, lemme see that—” Carmy’s ribs constrict. I don’t know if I trust you. His vision swims. Vaguely, he recognizes Syd taking a step towards him and without purposefully meaning to he takes a step back from her. “No, don’t,” he begins and then stops because he can’t quite figure out where he wants that sentence to go. “I said it’s fucking fine. I can handle it.” “I know you can handle it, you big baby, but you’re clearly not with it right now—” “I’m fucking with it,” Carmy snaps, curling his arm to his chest. Animal caught in the trap. He’s felt like that a lot recently. Like he’s stuck in a cage and there are eyes everywhere just watching, waiting for him to fuck up so they can wash their hands of him and leave and never return. The fist in his chest tightens, squeezing the breath from his lungs. He can’t—he can’t—he can’t. He can’t. “It was one mistake, okay, and I said I’m fucking sorry so can you please just drop it?” He’s aware of how he sounds and he still can’t stop it. All he can do is stare at Syd warily, daring her to come closer, wishing that she would, until she shakes her head with such quiet disappointment that it’s like a punch to the stomach. “Heard, Chef,” she says, already turning on her heel to go drop her bag off and change. “Consider it dropped.” Breathe. In. Breathe. Out. Do not fucking pass out. Yeah, those black spots are normal. Happens every time I can’t breathe. Yeah, I can’t breathe a lot sometimes. Happens every time I’m a jackass. Happens every time I ruin something good. No big deal.

Carmy presses up against the edge of the countertop, the dull pressure to the small of his back enough to ground him even as the world seems to fall away beneath him. The heels of his palms go to his eyes, push into the sockets. It hurts, then, his hand—the contact of it to his face, igniting the faint burn to a fierce throb. But it’s. Deserved, probably. He should be in pain. He should be in as much pain as he causes everybody else. “She doesn’t trust you. Nobody trusts you, because everything that you are is worthless, including your word. Do you hear me? Nod so I know that you’re hearing me.” Carmy nods into the cradle of his palms. “Say, yes, Chef, everything that I am is worthless.” “Yes, Chef,” he whispers. “Everything that I am is worthless.” The dark behind his eyes accepts it as the truth, and so does he. A shuddery inhale rattles through him, through vein and blood and spine and throat, and he lifts his head from his hands and goes to clean up the spilled loaf. There’s crumbs all over the place that he mops up using a damp paper towel, and the loaf itself goes in the trash. Waste. Such a fucking waste. No wonder Marcus thought he needed help bandaging a cut. No wonder Syd doesn’t trust him. More flour. He’ll do better. More oil. He’ll be better. More yeast. He’ll make up for it. More water. He’ll make up for everything.

[therosefrontier]

Finished part 1 of book 6 a few days ago and I have many thoughts, but for now, I just want to say that I love Leona and Jamil in this very much XD

For one thing, it’s nice seeing Leona get a bit of time to shine just with being very knowledgeable and observant. He keeps a steady head in these situations; unfortunately that currently boils down to ‘yep we’re all doomed.’ But mortal peril aside, seeing him and Jamil get put together was fun. Is quite a dynamic. They rub brain cells together very well

Oh, use virtual projections of my friends to say hurtful things and stress me out? Too bad I’m good at compartmentalizing. And am already dead inside

(although to be fair that might have actually been a tiny bit cathartic for Jamil ngl)

Rare moment where they sync braincells and that braincell is malicious compliance. Which is actually the case for all five of them, really. They got that common sense of ‘while we appreciate you not doing horrendously horrible things to us like we legitimately feared, we were still abducted against our wills and forced to do things and that is Not Okay.’ So we demand tea and the morning paper. 

But yeah Jamil insulting the food made me laugh way too hard.

I am very curious to see how this turns out, though... I’m playing on the English server and have avoided most spoilers from the rest of book 6 and would like to keep it that way if I can, so now I’m just...speculating. It definitely seems like the play is that they’re going to get memory-wiped at the end of this. The question is, are we only erasing the past few days? Or more than that? Would these five be the only ones affected, or would it affect everyone who is not here, too? We’ve established that they would need some way to hide the paper trail, but it’d be virtually impossible by normal means, since so many people saw them attack the school. Is this memory wipe more of a wide-scale reset? A mass memory wipe? Will it go so far as to erase the existing identities of the overblotters entirely, hence the whole ‘no mage has ever returned from the Isle of Woe’ statement? Will it take their magic as a way to ensure that they would never again be a threat?

I’m rambling now but anyways, had a whole lot of fun with book 6 so far. I eagerly anticipate watching them all play video games at Ortho’s behest at the start of part 2 XD

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi,

(I hope that I didn't send in this ask in the past, I am a little dissociative rn).

TW for self harm mention, panic attacks, dissociation

My therapist wants to work on "my connection to my body". I am pretty cut off from my emotions, body signals etc. For example, in the past I had panic attacks "out of nothing and for no reason" and sometimes in hindsight I could say "Well, that could've been expected". So she gave me some papers on which I hourly should note my "stress level" as a kind of first step. I think I saw these papers in the past on friends who had BPD and were supposed to write down their stress and urge to self-harm, but in my case it is rather a chart that ends in "panic attack" or "dissociation", I don't self harm.

And I have to be perfectly honest, I have barely felt that overwhelmed by anything in the past weeks. Even if I think about it, my mind races. I hope it is fine if I write my thoughts down and maybe you could give me some ideas and comments about them? My therapist is on vacation the next 4 weeks and I really regret having agreed on that...

For some reason I need super much clareficiation on this thing and so many details to understand it, I honestly don't know what my problem is.

My therapist said "You should strive for something between 30%-50% stress level, that's the growth area" but tbh 1. I never feel like I am growing, 2. All the time 30%? Or X hours a day? 3. If I use my one dopamine to panic clean my kitchen in 5 hours, that might be 50% stress level but certainly no growth. 4. I never feel like 30-50%? In my mind I use as an example "I lay in bed and read a good non-fiction book, which sadly isn't written for a non-academic, so I have to google a lot of stuff" (which is very specific and I haven't yet finished that book). I hope this is even a good example. But this doesn't really feel like "medium stress". It feels like "No stress, while reading the paragraphs I understand" and "Much stress when googeling stuff". Like a wave. 5. Who says you always need to be in a medium-stress area? Forever? Or during your young and growing years? Is my dream of a farm far away from human civilication so wrong, from a therapists viewpoint?

So far (and I have overthought this nearly every second the last week) I have made this list (please tell me if you think it is right):

10% - Almost falling asleep (that's what my therapist said); 20% - reading a fiction book or maybe crocheting while watching a movie; 30%-50% - ???? ; 60% - (the first number above the "growth zone") curling up in bed crying, 70%- panic attack/ or mild dissociation; 80% - aggressive "????" (aka overwhelmed and everything at once); 90% - bad dissociation, 100% severe dissociation, non-verbal, potentially with amnesia.

Is that ok? Idk I think it is maybe to much to already start with "crying" just after the "good growth zone" but, as an example: I visited my therapist, which means I had to take the train, it takes a long time and I come hope so exhausted that I fall asleep immediately. I can rationally maybe say, that's growth. But it only takes one delayed train, or tripping over my own feet, one too loud and rowdy passenger on the train, or something else so small, and I won't fall asleep immediately but break out in tears immediately.

Which brings me back to "I don't feel growth". In my past I was pushing my limit everyday (my limits in this case being, leave the house and go to university). And it never gotten any easier in 3 years. So idk how growth feels, when to feel growth, am I unable or did I do something wrong etc.?

I thought this chart was too small and limiting, so I made a notebook in which I (tried) to write down what I feel emotionally and in my body, at least three times a day (and try to stick to the percentage thing). Ngl many entries are "too overwhelmed already to open up the bottle of "what do I feel rn"". But I also felt much worse the days I used this notebook. Which can be coincidence, or maybe I lived in peaceful bliss until now, and maybe that's something I am not ready to open up yet? I don't know what the right way is tbh, and I am very afraid of sabotaging the therapy.

Any help, ideas, suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Hi anon,

I can understand how that kind of format can feel much too rigid to categorize your experiences. I've never heard of stress levels being tracked in that way, or that a moderate amount of stress is the only way to grow, although it may be somewhat related to the concept of eustress. But it's absolutely possible to be productive without any stress whatsoever, and the spectrum of stress provided sounds more like a spectrum of mood from positive to negative.

If you feel that this way of looking at your ability to grow is unhelpful, I encourage you to tell your therapist. They should be more than happy to tailor their approach to something that makes more sense to you. It might even be better to try and document what you did immediately before a panic attack to see if there's a pattern and potentially identify a trigger, although some triggers take hours or days before a reaction, especially if you experience dissociation.

If anyone has any other comments or suggestions, please feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[enlighten3d]

okok soo gonna try to put a timeline for janette and adele’s relationship/story! (in order)

-They both meet at the town’s pub (adele being there after an argument with josh, her husband, and janette being there after a problem at the church)

-They end up flirting, adele lying about being married and end up hooking up basically (but before that janette explained her being aro-spec to just put put there that she isn’t wanting anything romantic and adele pretended to listen)

-They then end up in a friends with benefits relationship (adele’s husband josh is oblivious to this she’s definitely not telling him) for a couple of months and janette says that she hopes they can be friends as well

-Adele refuses that, since she has very complex feelings about aro-spec people (adele your arophobia is showinggg/hj) and thought they had a romantic relationship(since she didn’t believe janette) and they don’t speak for a while after an argument over that

-During that time, Janette has to (forced by her mum’s ghost) carry out a ritual of sorts to solidify a next heir to run the cult when janette’s dead and she doesn’t want to give up her nephew so she chooses a girl named Carmela (i have lore for her too) and due to the prophecy (that this ritual is based off) carmela has to hurt/kill a loved one, and it ends up being her boyfriend ryan beckett, adele’s son!

-This ends up with him loosing an arm and adele immediately knows who’s behind this (janette) and decides to carry out her own form of revenge (of her son and herself since she thinks janette was manipulative in their short lived relationship- adele darling stop making things worse)

-Said revenge ends up being burning down the cult building and Janette ends up being in it when that happens and she burns alive (uh oh) and adele thinks that’s been taken care of

-Until Janette comes back alive thanks to weird monster/spirits that give her life basically except with a catch- which is that if she cuts her skin in anyways, blue flowers and vines will burst through her skin and probably kill her again

-She’s forced to stay out of the town since if she walked back in, she’d be killed on sight (weird rules that i can explain) so she has to figure out how to kill adele

AND THATS ALL I HAVE! FOR NOW! So basically yeahh adele is kind of a shitty person!!! I have more lore for all the characters so if you have any questions pls do send them my way! (i live for questions about my lore/hj) :D these characters stay in my head aghh toxic yuri beloved uhmm okok byee this was longer than i thought oopsies

(sry this took a hot sec to reply to)

oooh boy.. this truly is VERY toxic yuri... i want to fight adele ngl. as an aromantic person, i am staring at her and Judging.

adele is on some shit.. sgdhdnf

ARSON. ARSON AS REVENGE 👍👍 IS YOUR SONS ARM GONE?? ARE YOU AROPHOBIC AND VERY GAY?? THE SOLUTION IS ARSON.

gods i feel bad for josh... he knows Nothing. poor guy.

OOH THATS FUN.. (janette being cursed like that). are bruises and shit okay?? if its severed skin specifically... oh boy yeah shes not gonna last long is she.. paper is her mortal enemy...

whys she gotta stay out of town?

ALSO WHAT DOES THE CULT WORSHIP. I AM SO CURIOUS. IS THE EXISTENCE OF THESE SPIRITS WIDESPREAD KNOWLEDGE, OR JUST SHIT THAT THIS CULT KNOWS?

was adele insane before she met janette or was she always this way

does janette know it was adele who started the fire...

WHAT ARE CARMELAS THOUGHTS ON ALL THIS (esp the having to fuck up her boyfriend... do they break up afterwards.. does he know it was her...)

i have so many questions /pos

[sparklingpax]

“Are you always this shy?” With Optimus and Ratchet? (Forgive me if I'm doing this wrong, I've only been following you for a moment)

From this (requests are still open btw! I need these moments to take my mind off irl stuff ngl qwq)

HELLO HI THIS IS VERY OVERDUE!! (as are the other ones, which will be posted very soon, I promise o///o) Also no worries at all, you did this right!! :D

I am the one who should be asking for forgiveness rn, because no one should have to wait this long jsddjsdj TwT

I know it's been a long minute, but I hope you enjoy my blog and all my shenanigans (even at least somewhat ahah ^^'')

-Im deeply sorry for typos and other such grammatical errors 😭

-I went with a sort of "early war" kind of thing, like right after Ratchet becomes a part of Optimus' team. (Not sure this is probably not even how this would have played out or did, but I am taking ARTISTIC LISENCE and doing my own version of events....idk ;w;)

-Also, it is a bit short ;///; sorry....hope you like it tho!

-Set in aligned continuity/tfp

-i guess its a lil bit of optiratch ya know? just a lil (for my own enjoyment ^w^)

///

“Ratchet.”

“Don’t.”

“But the team wants to–”

“Well they’ll have to do whatever it is another time–I’m too busy!!” the shorter mech snapped, cutting him off. He quickly reached into his toolbox and fumbled to grab something. Optimus took a step closer, trying to peer over his shoulder, curious.

“What are you working on?”

“A–uhm–this set of some…very difficult formulas!” The medic stammered, not yet turned to face him. “I-I need time, some quiet…I…I’m simply far too busy to do anything right now!” 

He finally set his grip on an object, looking over his shoulder at Optimus as he brandished a wrench and waved it demonstratively. But as he held the wrench, Optimus noticed the tip of the object quivering in Ratchet’s grip. 

After another sharp huff, he turned his back to Optimus again, leaning over the table, which was covered in rust and dirt. He set the wrench down quietly and stood still. 

Optimus wondered if he was going to explain the wrench at all, or…

“...Alright, I’m…” Another sigh and pause. Optimus waited patiently. “I’m…not exactly busy with…formulas, I’m just…well, it’s just–I…I don’t…”

“You’re…nervous?”

Ratchet made a sound that seemed to agree. 

Optimus fought the urge to giggle at how this was kind of cute–he didn’t want the medic to feel any more embarrassed than he probably already did. Instead, he strode closer to him, resting a gentle servo on his shoulder. 

“I understand. You may take as long as you need before you go out and meet them,” he said quietly. 

Ratchet ducked his head. 

“But I feel bad about…” 

Optimus shook his head, looking down at him with gentle regard. 

“There is nothing to feel bad about, Ratchet. It would cause you discomfort if you went to meet everyone now, and I know neither you nor I would enjoy that. And, they are your new team as of now, so they will be around for quite a while.”

Ratchet finally looked back at Optimus, seeming less bothered than he had been–just a little more relaxed. Optimus was glad, smiling back at him. 

“Well then…” Ratchet murmured, moving to return to looking at the table. “I do have some work to do…”

He jumped right into it, and Optimus simply watched, leaning against the table. He eyed a light flicker above them briefly, then let his gaze wander to the faded papers tacked to the walls. It wasn’t really a medical room, but it was the best available to them in their situation. 

Squinting, he could see even more that these posters must not have been Ratchet’s–being advertisements for a shop of some kind, or pictures of a musical artist he was sure neither of them knew… 

“You know…” Ratchet said quietly, breaking the silence, “...I do want to meet the team. I’ll need to get to know them in the event of injuries and such, anyway…”

Optimus tilted his head, still looking at the contents of the room. 

“There are many of us in this unit. Is it that there are too many at once?”

“...that would be it.”

“I suppose I never saw you with big groups unless you knew everybot or were giving presentations back on Cybertron,” Optimus remarked. “Are you…always this shy?”

“Well it's not exactly shyness, but I believe you know what I mean as…” Ratchet chuckled little. He put down his tools again and looked up to find Optimus staring back at him. He remembered the eyes that looked back at him when they were in Ratchet’s old dorm at university, as he worked on a project for class, and Orion came just to watch…to keep him company. 

Those same eyes that still looked to him with interest and curiosity. 

Oh Orion…some things never change. 

“...you were too, once,” he said finally, looking back to his desk and attempting to focus and get back to work. But he stopped at a touch on his hand, staring back up at his friend. Optimus had a somewhat melancholy look pooled in the back of his gaze. 

“And I still am. But as a leader…I have to…work around it.” 

Ratchet leaned forward and into Optimus, who wrapped his arms around him in a gentle embrace. 

“I know, Optimus,” he whispered. 

He silently resolved to go see the others later that very night. If Optimus could do it, well…then he wanted to as well.

Thank you, Optimus.

///

[apricusapollo]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

thanks for the tag @babygirlbridger 🤭💞

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

40 🚶🏻‍♀️ I am supposed to have more but I archived some a while ago because they were so bad

2.) What’s your ao3 word count?

572,080

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for haikyuu but I'm not really in that fandom anymore so now I mainly write for star wars & red white and royal blue. occasionally marauders fandom too.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

paper rings - jegulus

somethin' stupid (like, "I love you") - jegulus

english lover affair - firstprince

golden says of yore - jegulus

running through rose thorns - firstprince

6.) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

definitely until the sunrise hold me tight. sometimes I wonder what I was high on when I wrote that.

7.) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

paper rings <33

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

nope, never gotten it.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I started a while ago and it's lowkey soo fun ngl 🤭 I usually used to avoid writing it but. not anymore.

10.) Do you write cross overs? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

oh boy. I used to. my very first famous fanfic was called fragile world. used to post it on Instagram and wattpad. it included *clears throat* shadowhunters, glee, 13 reasons why, skam, eyewitness 🧍🏻‍♀️ but in my defense I was, what, 12-13? I have CHANGED.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeaa it was kiss in the kitchen. someone reposted it on wattpad without my permission and gabby found it and told me. they did take it down after I told them to tho.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

YEAH!! made me so happy.

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

well usually me and yana come up with the plot of my fics together sometimes. there's this one jegulus fic based on a couple of hamilton songs I wanna write and yana came up with more than half of the plot so yeah!! that counts!!

14.) What’s your all time favourite ship?

I think firstprince. they're just so. *muffled sobs*

15.) What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

in 2021 I started writing iwaoi attack on titan au. I had outline ready, I wrote 2 chapters out of 5 and all of that. then I never continued it. it still exists in my docs but I forgot half of the plot so I doubt I'll ever finish and post it but who knows. never say never.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

writing angst?? Idk I think I'm quite good at that for a girl who has never had her heart broken (in a romantic sense)

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. god I HATE describing things. I'd rather die than describe anything.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I mean, I don't think I'll succeed (unless it's in georgian which is my native language) and considering that I mess up english sometimes, maybe it's for the best if I just stick to one language 😭😭

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

one direction. I was 9 y/o. write it in a notebook with a sparkly pen. it was called "love."

20.) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I have a couple so here's the list idc

paper rings

english love affair

sacred touches & wasted days

the end is here

better than revenge ('cause he's like so whatever)

champagne problems

(I'm too lazy to attach links to all of them so here's my ao3)

again, I hate tagging people so pls do this if u wanna mwah<3

[singsweetmelodies]

can you imagine a piarles collection of fics based on Taylor swift song? like, each album is a collection and each fic is based on a song of that album???

like, when we have London boy but adapted so it would be ‘you know I love a Monaco boy’ because this one would be Pierre saying ‘I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent’ just because it fits though I do think most of everything would be just Charles’ pov because he’s a dramatic bitch just like Taylor

one telling a summer fling they had but one of them fell and screaming at the other “I love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

one telling the story of how they met and some stories in the middle until the “now” where Charles says “I like shinny things but I’d marry you in paper rings” and Pierre goes and buys him a ring shaped as a piece of newspaper and propose with it

THE ONE TELLING ABOUT ALL TOO WELL 10 MINUTES VERSION WOULD BE LIKE KNIVES IN MY HEART though definitely not the saddest, that would be tolerate it

and one where Pierre goes on about how they broke up because of *something* and then on a random day they meet again and Pierre tells him “if my wishes came true it would’ve been you” (they do not get back together though)

and when they have a *bad* break up and Pierre is talking shit (for the hell of it) with the press and Charles goes “I keep my side of the street clean but you wouldn’t know what I mean”

I am rambling so much but god I love this idea so much and like

I’m NOT here to kindly ask you to do it (REALLY, that would be waaaaaay too much), I was just procrastinating and I thought about it and I had to share this with someone so thank you for listening to my Ted talk 🫧

AHHHHH, sorry, i completely missed this one last night 🙈🙈 bloody tumblr... but oh my god, i absolutely love this idea! the amount of times i listen to a taylor swift song and just think "whoa my god... piarles au" is insane really. INSANE. so i absolutely adore you for this concept

and!! your SONG EXAMPLES omg 🥺🥺 i absolutely melted because yes yes yes London Boy is such a them song. i am particularly soft for this song + piarles, because i wrote a fic with a London Boy lyric for a title for them a little while ago. it's my Monaco vlog fic, and this one is very close to my heart for many reasons, but most especially because it always reminds me of my wonderful @leclerctops, @welightitup and @redyellowstupid, and the very START of our birthday fic surprise tradition 🥺🥺❤️💙💚 bless, the best memories, and all the love, really.

but enough sentimental nonsense! you know, i actually hadn't considered the "Monaco boy" dimples spin on it, but oh my god you are actually a genius. Pierre "I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent" Gasly - LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!

oh my god, and Cruel Summer - okay, so, this is actually an idea i wrote down in my personal discord server for fic ideas (lmao). i was listening to this song and my brain just went EXACTLY what yours did here: "piarles summer fling but they're idiots and they forgot to communicate." still obsessed with this concept ngl. (unfortunately it's not one i have any sort of time to write, but, oh well. it will live in my head like an unfinished melody 🙏)

AND PAPER RINGS!! your idea of pierre getting him an actual paper ring!! that is the cutest thing i've ever heard omg 🥺🥺 and he so WOULD!! these idiots in love... i adore them ❤️❤️

whoa my god, and all too well. ALL TOO WELL!! ngl that's always been more of a brocedes song for me, but that's just because i can't bear the thought of hurting my piarles babies like that 🙈🙈🥺 but if a piarles ATW fic was ever written... you are unquestionably right. that would be a knife to the heart.

and?? TOLERATE IT?? excuse me?? that would be the one to absolutely shatter us all, i agree. "i know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it" EXCUSE ME?? no?? i could never do that to my beloveds. just. never 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺💔

(though, thinking about it... isn't "tolerate it" good for a sort of heartbreaking charles + ferrari character study? the true otp if you will... the beautiful agony of being a ferrari driver... AHHHH)

and. the 1?? THE 1 FOR PIARLES?? IF MY WISHES CAME TRUE IT WOULD'VE BEEN YOU?? you're right, that one couldn't have a happy ending, but... 😭😭💔💔💔 i could also never do that to them. MY POOR BABIES

hehehehe ngl the karma one made me CACKLE 🤭🤭 pierre ABSOLUTELY is the kind of petty bitch who would talk shit for the hell of it. just look at pierresteban, after all! and for piarles to have a bad breakup... HEARTBREAKING. but omg it would make for such a good character study! love this 👌

ahhhh omg, sorry, i got a bit carried away with this answer 🙈🙈 but come on. TAYLOR SWIFT + PIARLES?? two of my favourite favourite things?? it was never going to be any other way, come on. (in other words, ilysm for this, and thanks a load for sharing your FAB Ted talk/concept with me ❤️❤️ <333)

[separatist-apologist]

Hi, I am your Ottoman Obession era Anon.

Yes, I would recommend the book. Shadows of God by Alan Mikhail. I think i pick thus book after halfway watching Rise of Empire : Ottoman in Netflix. Why you should read this book? Please allow me to share my thought

1. I am not someone from History study or Labguage study. Therefore, I want to read history book that are easy to understand and not overcomplicated. You know,most often I put down the book because I couldnt follow the story or underatand what is going on. And i am not native English speaker, and it just hard for me to read certain book. Or maybe the author tried to hard to impress reader with bombastic word that after googling the word, i am still dont see how it make sense.

But this book? Damn, i feel like a girly pop reading a diary. It doenst just blandly narrated a story but I found this book interesting because it also give us the insight of the character. If i look back, it follows Selim journey from his childhood to how he claimed the throne. I can understand what is going on in the book and not to get lost myself.

Ngl, since the historical figure mention in the book is Selim, i am now rooting for him to claimed the throne and praying for his mother wellbeing. And oh! I love Selim mother the most in the book. The author touched a lot of aspect being an ottoman prince mother and his mother contribution during Selim ruling as a gavernor in Trapzor. They are very close to each other and i found it really sweet.

2. It does not exclusively follow Seim jourbey. The author also gives us hindsight on what is happening aroubd Europe at the time. I have read history book before and they exclusively narrate the historical figure and it made me confuse when there is foreign figure appear around the main historical figure. But this book? It tell us what was happening around,guve an idea where actually this event set place and how it correlate to other event in history. It became so fun to read when I can recognize othe histrical figure. For example the borgia. I know the borgia family because of a manhwa (korean type of comic).

It so fun to read and trigger my roller coaster emotionally.

3. I found it more interesting when I learn that Selim as said in the book is not highly favoured by his father. Especially when he is sent far away from Constantinople (or istanbul atm) assigned as governor. They said that the more far away the son is sent to givern a state,the lesser the chance the son get to be a Sultan.

It really made me think, did Beron apply the same thing? Except his intention to worsen the sibling relationship? Because i think I remember in one of your fic you had this scene where eris mentioning how lucky for Elain that Lucien is exiled. Otherwise, Beron would pit her and his other daughter in law. Which to me was genius since Beron wanted his son to fight each other for the throne.

Even in the book, it mention that the father/current Sultan is not excluded from this fraticide practice. The son still can and have the right to claw their own father from the throne

I recommend this book. Why? Simple, because someone slow like me can read it and enjoy the drama in this book. I think you would too. Sorry for the rambling tho.

You're back! This is the exact kind of recommendation I'm looking for, ESPECIALLY from a non-fiction book. When I was in grad school, one of my professors discussed what made good, academic writing ESPECIALLY if you were writing for lay people. And the hallmark of it was accessibility. Even within niche topics, your writing shouldn't be so convoluted that you need to re-read sentences over and over.

You can get away with some of it in academic journals but I'd argue if I'm reading a paper on a topic I'm knowledgable and published in, and I'm asking myself "what the fuck are you trying to say?" you've done a bad job.

And books ESPECIALLY because history is, in my opinion, one of the most fascinating subjects AND should be one of the most accessible ones as well. History is like gossip, it's half rumor, half fact depending on who is telling it. It's like when your friend texts, "can I say something fucked up?" like HELL YES tell me the atrocities and salacious gossip, I beg you.

I had a world history teacher in high school who once said history was the greatest soap opera and he made it accessible in a way that I've always been obsessed. And I'm saying all this because you said it was dumbed down enough for you to understand- but consider that it was WELL written enough to keep your attention rather than being so smugly satisfied with itself that the author renders the subject matter boring.

You sound exceptionally smart to me. You're reading in two languages! Give yourself WAY more credit and remember that a LOT of academics are just puffed up blow-hards that could use a regular person telling them, actually- you're not that interesting.

[notallwonder]

Okeydoke. CM 16x09 "Memento Mori". What delights and disappointments do you have in store for me...

Spoilers etc etc etc under the cut.

I've been rewatching season 3. It feels like such a different show. I think the impact of the shake up of producers and cast that happened in season 5/6 cannot be overestimated. And of course with this new season they've actively tried to make it a different iteration. But yeah...the creative vision or whatever shifted a lot over its original run.

Anyway.....back to the matter at hand...

oh no...Rossi flashback. :/ oh buddy. ngl hearing Rossi break up like that makes me very sad.

(Emily you look fabulous in your funeral dress)

I do appreciate the time they've given to Rossi & Emily's relationship

also it just makes me uncomfy that Rossi's doing his canvassing all alone. Even the Mormons don't do that.

OH SHIT is going down!

Emily is your blazer sparkly? no no it's like some kinda tufted wool pattern. (Cute)

JJ your hair looks great

Tara you must be right, "it's hard to be a new dad and a psychopath at the same time" (also you look great bb)

OH SNAP he walked right in??!! with a lil smirk??!!

Okay okay okay TARA / REBECCA FLASHBACK. Aw, Tara that look on your gorgeous face. 🥰 I am not intimately familiar with Al-Anon but I can see how Rebecca's history might influence her tendency to go scorched earth/go to extremes in her reactions.

I wish the flashbacks were in color though. The black & white photography is pretty I suppose, but I wanna see their beautiful faces in full color.

Urgency!! Rebecca coming thru!! (in her fire burgundy suit btw)

this Sacramento offer is all she's got?? I know she's under review, whatever that entails, and presumably thus no longer in line for an associate atty general job (is that actually a thing??) but she's... still actively working in the DOJ in Washington DC hence why she's even plausibly (lol) in this room. Why would this Sacramento job be the only option left to her? This does not make sense.

Tara looks so beautiful, GOD. but also too sad.

Ugh back to this bitch (Elias)

This little tete-a-tete w/ Rossi is...intruiging. Ooh twist that knife sir.

LOL the very subtle sound cue/background music they put on Rossi's grin after he says "Almost." God that was perfect. Like the cartoon sparkle on a smile. Like the Schitt's Creek chime.

Wow this guy has plans on plans on cojones. I like him. He's bad news.

Side note: it annoys me that they keep calling Sicarius the "most prolific" killer they've ever seen. Didn't they estimate Frank's body count in the 80s or 90s?

Oh....our favorite asshole Tyler Green. Oh and our other favorite ah Will - here in an official non-husband capacity. Neato.

The question remains....is Tyler Green a bad guy? He's clearly taking PG for a ride, but what that fully means I don't know.

OOooooh big drama betw Tyler & Luke. That stare down!

Does PG see it now? She might.

F U C K. Suspicions (Apparently!) confirmed ! !

Rossi you in danger girl.

this could still be a vigilante type situation...but they're leaning hard on making Green seem sus and at the very least he's an uncontrolled quantity. He's gonna get in the way.

ok another flashback. this one im categorizing as dumb bc it's about Tyler. Honestly I'd rather have an Emily flashback. Even if it's just her like...loading her dishwasher. God, what I wouldn't give.

cute baby tho. Tyler has baby-related ptsd

This angst filled grocery shopping RULES!!!!! Rolling Stones babey!!!

Rossi, stalking people while they are grocery shopping is not nice. I get it, you have a job to do blah blah. But coming up on ladies in the cereal aisle is just annoying as hell.

OH MY GAWD. Rossi talking serial killer with the wife in the CEREAL AISLE?!?!?!!!!! only god above and people I'll never speak to know if this was by design but I am LOSING it over this stupid visual pun.

Sydney! You left your toilet paper! Don't you remember how hard it was to get toilet paper just a few short years ago?!

LMAO Rossi you got played buddy.

It does feel odd given recent episodes that Bailey isn't in the middle of this fray, but I'm so not mad he's not there.

Emily's "yes ma'am" reminds me of her very flat "ma'am" to Strauss in "100". Very different (this one contains no venom), but I just have not been able to get Strauss out of my head while watching Prentiss this season.

ZOMG LUKE & PENELOPE. Pen, why are you oversharing with him???!!!! Oh honey. You really think he's just your friend. Can't talk to Prentiss bc you already fucked that up, can't talk to JJ bc JJ will call you out on your shit, can't talk to Tara bc she's in her own world of hurt... you friend zoned Luke and are about to find Out!

Oh GOd PG! Like... I know you sometimes lack a filter but c'mon. 😬

FUCK Rossi WHAT are you DOING. This man who has been marinating in grief for years is about to lose it all

The only one who we know knows where he is is Tyler Green (awful sentence so sorry)

I'm getting tense

The Two Devolvers

AAAGH I just LOVE when an intense moment goes straight to psoriasis drug commercials!!! Fuck!

Is the Dan & Sheila thing a reference to a real podcast of some sort? Who are Dan and Sheila.

I do like when the show seems to acknowledge the shortcomings of profiling as an endeavor

Rossi rounding out the Brown Jacket Brigade

Oh. Emily.

Oh. GARCIA. Chickens....roosting....etc

i am just dying, Dying for Emily to completely Lose Her Shit. i doubt she will get the opportunity. But I want it.

JJ getting the lay of the land watching Emily's reaction. Tara getting the lay of the land watching Penelope.

I want Rossi to pee in the car, and then say "it's just a rental".

A favor from DC Metro? For when they are in the field in SEATTLE? I know this is just to get Will into the mix but it's annoying.

Garcia! Um, the implication that you think avoidant-attachment style folks are like...better at or predisposed to lying? Fucked up. I think you have not been getting an A+ in therapy (thing that's normal to want, etc...). All this "Penelope has thrived during the pando / been getting so great at self care etc" seems to be revealing itself as a front of sorts. Kinda feels like a third, smaller, devolution.

The Will stans of the world will rejoice - he's on the jet

For the record, I think Emily made a calculated risk/decision to send PG into the field with the rest. Perhaps thinking she would be uniquely situated to convince/keep Tyler out of the way. Meta-wise, it was necessary to then place JJ/Will and Luke/Garcia in the same frame on the jet. I'm sure that was no accident.

Ugh. Do we think Rossi's out? Is he gonna be dead when this is all said and done? I hope not. He's still got lots of grandparenting to do. But he really should fucken retire.

OOOOHHHHH. THE GARVEZ DATE. Again...I wish they gave us these flashbacks in color.

Oh, handholding!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 it's not the specific handholding I wished for, but it's the handholding I absolutely needed!!!!!!

Luke, my man. I love ya. I feel for ya. God. I'm sorry things went this way. Honestly, PG, if you have trouble conversing in a non-dunking way with someone you consider a friend...like maybe I'm being judgmental here but that sounds like a you problem that you might want to figure out babe.

Thinking about Luke compared with Derek. Derek would have pushed back on a statement like that from PG. Luke, bless him, does not push back because he's got more at stake emotionally / is wounded by it. But a statement like that from PG needs pushback, especially if you're trying to redefine the relationship.

I feel so bad for Emily. She has to keep it together but you know she's furious and deeply worried about her kidnapped work wife

Now we've come back around to Rossi's flashback pain. He didn't want to watch his wife be closed up underground. I see.

Zomg. I wonder if they are gonna cliffhanger the season with Rossi still trapped underground.

AAAAAAAAAAAH

I quite enjoyed this episode. I liked the directing, though I would have preferred the flashbacks in color. There were some really nice shots in there. A lot of backstory snippets. I wanna know more about Tara. What prompted her to go to Al-Anon, years after her marriage broke up? Does that have anything to do with the toning down/disappearance of her swagger? As for Garvez - I don't feel the same level of upset over how this has played out, but I think we're headed toward a reveal of Luke's deeper feelings and some kind of reckoning. And while it's not necessarily *fun* to watch Garcia make these choices, I am not convinced this was a completely bad decision storytelling-wise. I know, I'm in the minority there. Let her fuck up! Let her be unlikable, selfish, blind. I guess what would disappoint me the most is if there's no turn in this story, no real consequences or accountability. We'll see.

Favorite scene hands down was the angsty grocery shopping. What can I say, it gave me life.