#next time we meet more assholes and tim cries some more

[howardlinkedin]

Debriefing (And Other Bad Jokes) Part 4

Part 3 here: x

Next, Part 5: http://howardlinkedin.tumblr.com/post/168953427738/debriefing-and-other-bad-jokes-part-5

Summary: Slightly less ridiculous chapter about museum heists, unless your name is Howard Link, in which everything is still ridiculous, while Allen asks the Important Questions.

There are only three people who know the entire story of how Yuu Kanda went from absolutely loathing Allen Walker to something like positive, relationship affirming emotions. (No one can  make Kanda admit things like “love” or “romance,” even if they threatened death. Honestly, even if they did, they wouldn’t be able to succeed, seeing as the man would break the idiot who dared make threats in the first place inches away from death��s door.)

First there was the Bookman- which should be obvious given his skill set. The redhead even bragged about knowing the two were bound to become...whatever they were long before they even knew it. This bragging usually got a sword uncomfortably close to his crotch.

Next was Lenalee, who was Allen’s best friend and confidant. She actually had a front row seat to the drama that was Kanda’s and Allen’s relationship coming to a head. This was something she often reminded Allen when he was being particularly annoying, due to the fact that she had recorded most of it on her phone, and she was not afraid to use it.

Last, and probably the most baffling, was Johnny Gill. Baffling, because the forensic examiner hardly even made an appearance at the Department, choosing to spend his time at the Crime Labs. Lenalee and Lavi often wondered how the smaller man fit into this equation, since he was never around when the officers in question usually interacted.

Argued.

Violently flirted.

Everyone else working in or associated with the Black Order Police Department were simply secondhand observers. Many got whiplash when word actually got out that Kanda and Walker were A Thing.

---

Whatever Thing the two decided to be, was the question of the century. Only Allen and Kanda knew what, exactly, they were to each other, but it was there and sometimes it was less violent and more on the sweet side.

If you squint.

---

Noise Marie was the Order’s top surveillance specialist. At every stakeout, he was there, hidden away in a van, abandon building or any other nondescript location to listen in on the goings on with the officers under his care to watch.

Or rather, not so much watch.

Noise, legally blind that he was, could only listen. Which made his name rather ironic, which he was very well aware of, thank you very much.

The lack of proper sight never stopped him from being the best at what he does, however. No one questioned how his unique skill set works, but altogether accepted at the Order regardless.

So when the tell-tale buzz of the speakers tickled in, he responded immediately.

“This is Marie.”

“Allen here-” (In the background, Noise could hear the new Detective Inspector chide. “Walker, don’t give your name out in the middle of a job!”  The chiding was moot considering Link just also have out the rest of the officer’s name.

“Okay fine, Eagle One-” “I’m Eagle One.” Kanda grunted over his own communication. “Darling, only when I let you.”)

“I’m listening.” Marie tried not to sound amused. It was hard, but he was a professional and this was a job.

A high stakes job.

---

Once again, Link was able to actually do his job, and this time it looked more promising to be solved than the current murder case.

He listened and traded notes with Inspector Galmar, who had, up until now, been the only detective assigned to the Phantom G case.

(At the debriefing, Allen had commented that it was a rather cute name for a thief. Allen also though Kanda was cute when on the verge of homicide, so Link decided the officer’s opinion of anything was to be mad ravings of a crazy man.)

“And you say that somehow, anyone arrested during this case has been framed?” Link flipped through the stack of prints of the literal dozen fingerprints uncovered from every scene of the crime.

Galmar sighed heavily. “Yes, the problem we don’t know how or have any evidence besides obvious intuition. Unfortunately, the law can’t let anyone free from arrest just on those grounds.”

Unfortunate indeed, considering that all who were arrested claimed to never have been near the areas where valuables have been stolen. But, as far as the law was concerned, fingerprints don’t lie.

“So.” Walker, who had been a silent observer, until now, leeched himself at Link’s side and stared at the images. “This kid is able to lift copies of multiple prints from several officer, who happen to always be on site during a stake out, plant them and then make off with the loot?”

Link’s brow ticked at the loss of his personal space and elbowed the officer away. “Walker, let me work.”

He paused, narrowing in on the other’s comment. “You said ‘kid.’”

Allen grinned like a cheshire. “I did.” “And why,” Link’s suspicion once again rising. “Do you believe the thief is a kid? Clearly this level of skill is not something a mere child could do.”

Shrugging, Allen had the gall to look innocent and doe eyed. “No reason.”

“Walker.”

“Howard.”

Howard Link decided then and there he needed to make a doctors appointment for the amount of migraines he continued to suffer.

---

“I thought you were supposed to casing the layout of the museum.”

“I did.” Allen chirped. The Detective Inspector pinched the bridge of his nose. “Walker, you literally have been standing behind me this entire time. What part of that is casing anything?” Phantom G, as the acclaimed thief signed their M.O as, was most often known by the many notices they leave announcing their future plans of theft. The most frustrating aspect of their taunts was that they always delivered them to the scene where they threaten to loot, and always naming said object they are wanting to steal.

No matter the security, the Phantom always, always got away with it. With false fingerprints left behind, the accused unconscious with the very same mask as the Phantom over their face.

It was a wonder the entire team working on the case thus far hadn’t quit out of frustration.

Especially considering how utterly ridiculous the masks were. What with the bright, flashy neon yellow.

This time, the threat was at the local museum, which happened to house a very expensive and very historical crown.

“I saw the glass case where the crown was.” Came Allen’s cheeky reply, as though that was all he needed to see.

And maybe it was? Because Link was beginning to believe that despite all of Walker’s oddities and nuances, they always worked.

---

Link took a glance around the open space of the museum. “Where is Officer Kanda?”

Allen waved a hand as if to portray ‘don’t worry!’

“He’s doing a better job than I am at canvasing the entire area.”

Because that’s what Kandas do, apparently. And Allens just pester and waste time around actual hard working investigators.

---

“Anyway,” Allen continued over the communication to Marie. “Quick question, and it’s very important that you answer.” “Yes?” Noise turned a dial at his soundstation, making the frequencies of the white noise in the area more clear.

“What are you getting me for my birthday?”

(“WALKER.”

The surveillance specialist could hear Kanda sigh over the detectives reprimand.)

“Because I’ve been thinking of a hat. A large fluffy warm hat. Maybe a matching scarf.”

(“Walker, we are WORKING now is not the time to-”

“Jesus Christ shut up, both of you.”)

This is when the museum alarms are set off.

---

Arrested was yet another framed officer, with the crown missing and Officer Allen Walker-

Well. He was engaging in an actual chase with the presumed true thief.

On the rooftops.

Link had to at least admit that the other man was dedicated to his job.

---

The thief- Phantom G, in all their neon glory, hopped, jumped and mauvered the rooftops with the skill only someone who understand the layout could accomplish.

“Hey, you know maybe bright colors weren’t the best idea in this situation.”

Unless your name is Allen Walker, in which case he somehow managed the ability to maneuver just as, if not more, fluid after the thief and the crown.

Said thief gasped, and nearly tripped when the officer swung from a railing and landed just in front of them. They made an attempt to dash to the right, but Allen, quick as he was, flashed the crown at the Phantom’s face.

Well, assumed face anyway. It was hard to tell, what with the huge mask and all.

“Sorry, but this is mine now.”

“WALKER! You can’t keep stolen property!” Link chose that moment to leap to the roof also.

Phantom G took the momentary distraction of the Detective to leap from the side of the building and slide down the emergency fire exit.

Allen put the crown on his head and followed suit, all smiles.

And Link? Well Link followed after because Walker You Can’t Put That on your Head It’s Valuable!

---

Once on ground, the thief shot their arm out and Allen yanked the Detective with him to slide down the ally and out of the way.

Inspector Howard Link did not squeak, he most certainly did not, no matter what Officer Allen Walker says. (Noise Marie caught it all on tape, and he is very sorry for the man’s dignity and pride.)

The wall where they had landed was sliced through with thin threads, almost invisible if not for the moonlight.

Allen’s smile dropped off his face.

“You know, a lot of people just had their lives ruined by you. Do you really want to add manslaughter to the list?” “Shut up!” Finally, the thief spoke. They sounded young, too young.

Link didn’t have time to analyze further, and took the moment to dash out and kick their legs from under them and slapped one wrist with handcuffs. They yelled in surprise.

“Link! Move!”

The detective barely had time to flinch away before the same threads as before shot from the Phantom’s free hand and into Link’s shoulder.

With a grunt, the blonde rolled away, holding the wound to stave the bleeding. The threads were very sharp indeed.

Suddenly, the threads were sliced through, and Kanda shot out like a bullet from seemingly nowhere at the thief. “If you want to play like an adult, then play with me.”

The other man had a grin what Link could only describe as maniacal.

The thief, no the kid, which was what they could only be, because they were too small and wiry to have been an adult, and their voice too, too young, let out a sudden screech in fear at the swordsman. They leapt up and clambered over window sills in an attempt to escape.

Their retreat was cut short when Kanda sliced the wall nearest their hand, impaling his sword clean through. “You really should rethink your actions right now.” The officer was as serious as they ever were, and the warning in their words were as sharp and dangerous as his sword.

The air was quiet for exactly two seconds before it was filled with sharp wailing. The Phantom Thief G slid down to the grown, heaving. The mask was becoming soaked with tears.

“Jesus Christ you’re loud.” Kanda complained, which was not really the time or place, but still altogether a very good observation.

The wailing and crying was indeed very loud and very shrill.

---

With the mask off, Phantom Thief G, as deduced by Allen earlier that day (and Link still demands to know how the officer figured that, much to his ever mounting frustration) a kid.

No more than nine years of age, identified by Marie as Timothy Hearst, was cuffed and placed into the awaiting police vehicle.

With Allen, who deemed it acceptable to coddle the criminal, and let himself be sobbed on in the back of the car.

“Walker, kid or not he’s still a-” “Shh Link, you’re scaring him.”

“NEED I REMIND YOU that he could have very well killed us, and managed to stab my arm.” The Detective hissed. His arm still hurt, mind. Miranda, who was also on standby, had wrapped it. The kid’s wailing only intensified. “I’m- I’M SORRY!!!” He bellowed.

“See, he’s sorry.” “Walker.”

Kanda ignored them all and snached the very expensive and valuable crown from his partner’s head and handed it over to Inspector Galmar. Allen ‘awed’ in disappointment.

Everything was too ridiculous anymore.

---

Timothy had cried himself to sleep in the Order’s jail cell. Wrapped in no less than three blankets and five downey pillows piled around him. 

No one commented on this.

In his office, Commissioner Lee read over Link’s report. “How could a child have this level of skill?” He inquired.

Allen, who commandeered the room’s only couch, piped up before the Inspector could respond, literally taking the words from his mouth. “He had help. No kid could ever pull this off without proper training.”

His silver eyes were far off, and Link didn’t like it. He also did not like how Walker obviously knew more than he let on.

Link was the detective, it was his job. Yet Officer Allen Walker was able to deduce just as fast and as much as he could.

“Training?” Still, he pressed on. Confrontations would happen later.

The white haired officer hummed, eyes flashing back to the present. “Yeah. Those needle threads aren’t something easily handled without being trained in them. No normal nine year old would ever have a working knowledge of them.”

“I see.” And Link did see. He also agreed. “I believe also that Hearst had help. To pre plan exactly who to frame and have them be an officer that would be stationed during each and every heist? There’s someone else working in the shadows.”

Commissioner Lee scowled at the thought of a kid having been wrapped up in this mess. It left a sour taste in his mouth. “Do we have any leads as to who, though, is the question.”

The Detective Inspector was at a loss there.

“Sheryl Kamelot.” Allen named, looking for all the world the most serious he has ever been. “This reeks of Noah, and Sheryl would be our best bet.”

Komui straighten at the names, and leaned on his elbows. “Explain Officer.” He demanded of his subordinate.

Allen also leaned forward, unconsciously flexing his scarred hand. “Sheryl’s pride in the Noah consists of finding kids who show talent, any talent really, and exploiting them in anyway.

Stealing, information gathering, murder - there’s no limit to what he’d train a child to do. My guess is that Timothy is rather new into the fold, which was why he was scared easily enough to surrender. Anyone worth their scuff in the Noah would have needed a lot more to put them into submission.”

Howard Link frowned, scowled, and tensed the longer Walker spoke. Because, how, how, how! How does the young officer know this? Where did he get this information? To have such an understanding of one of the Noah, was nothing short of terrifying.

Did he learn this during his arrest of Tyki Mikk? Or was it before during investigation? But, as far as Link knew, Walker was not assigned the Noah case first hand. That was General Cross Marian. Did Walker learn this from his mentor? Was Cross actually reporting directly to his adopted son, and both were keeping quiet?

Why wasn’t the Commissioner demanding these details?

There were too many questions surrounding Allen Walker, and Link despised the lack of answers.

---

Once away from the Commissioner’s office and steps down the hall, Link demanded his answers. “How? How do you have such knowledge?” His voice was thick with distrust and accusations that he hadn’t outright stated. The implication was still there, regardless. “And for that matter, how are you able to follow thieves across rooftops and spy those threads? You said it yourself it takes training. What are you hiding Allen Walker?”

They had both stopped their descent down the hall.

Contrary to their pause, Kanda was making his way to them, but by his movement he was in no hurry.

Allen only smiled that alarming and guileless smile of his that renders everyone around him defenseless but also paranoid at the same time. “Oh Link, you should have put the pieces together by now. You’ve read my file after all.”

If Link believed in in such things, he could have sworn the air turned chill and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

He couldn’t even deny it, not with Kanda now directly behind his partner, like the shadow he always was. Tucked at his arm was Walker’s file, which had been stolen from Link’s apartment nights before.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[bluejayblueskies]

For the kiss prompt thing, could you do 34 and/or 66 with Jontim, please?

kiss prompt list!

34 - Returned from the dead kiss | 66 - Staring At The Other’s Lips, Trying Not To Kiss Them, Before Giving In 

i did both! set in an au where tim survives the unknowing. additionally, in this au jon and tim were together in research and season one but then broke it off in season two for canon-typical reasons

cw for mentions of injury and grief, mentions of death, suicidal ideation (mild), mentions of hospitalization, mentions of paranoia and stalking, and swearing

Ao3 link in source!

.

Jon’s been awake for two weeks and three days when Tim finally works up the nerve to see him.

 (He’s not nervous, he tells himself. It’s not nerves twisting his stomach and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and making his hands shake ever so slightly where they grasp the doorknob on Jon’s office door. It might be guilt, but he dislikes the thought and discards it immediately. Hatred? That doesn’t feel right either. He’d shed that anger a few months prior, body still aching from being crushed underneath a building’s worth of brick and mortar and holding Martin while he cried at Jon’s bedside, hiccupping into the fabric of Tim’s shirt, He’s not waking up, Tim. He's never waking up.)

 He opens the door and sees Jon sitting at his desk, hair pinned up in a haphazard topknot and a jumper that’s much too large swallowing his body whole. Jon looks up at him, his eyes widening a bit, and oh.

 It’s relief.

 Tim lets the door swing shut behind him and leans against the wall next to the doorframe, hands coming up to grip his elbows as he hugs his arms close to his chest. One arm is still mottled with angry red scars, spiraling patterns of shrapnel laced along his skin. He rubs a thumb over one of the larger scars near the crook of his elbow absently as he says, “Hey. I… I heard you’d woken up.”

 Jon just stares at him for a moment, like he’s not quite sure what he’s looking at. Just as it’s bordering on the edge of annoying, Jon finally says, “Yes, I… I have. A- a few weeks ago.”

 “Right.”

 There’s another long moment of silence between them, this one tenser than the first. Jon’s avoiding Tim’s eyes, his face pinched and unhappy. His hands are fiddling with the cuffs of his jumper nervously, and something within Tim knocks loose at the sight. “I’m not here to yell at you, okay?”

 Jon startles, his eyes finding Tim’s for a moment before darting away again. He’s never liked direct eye contact, Tim remembers, but this is something else. Tim gets the distinct feeling that it’s at least partially his fault. Maybe a bit more than partially. Then, quietly, Jon says, “Why not?”

 Great. With a weary sigh, Tim steps away from the wall and drops himself into the ratty armchair that faces Jon’s desk. “Because it’s been six months, Jon. A lot has changed.” He makes a humorless noise. “I mean, it’s all the same shit—spooky monsters and fucked-up situations and a job I can’t get rid of. But, you know.” He rubs his thumb over the scar, shrugs his shoulders. “The Circus is gone. Thought I’d be gone with it, but I’m not. And you were gone, which made things easier for a while. Less complicated, because I didn’t have to look at you and feel—”

 Tim makes a sharp, irritated noise. He doesn’t know how he felt. “But you were just… there. Dead or- or asleep or whatever, it didn’t really matter. You were there, and I was here, and we both know it was meant to be the other way around.”

 “Tim—” Jon starts, the pity in his voice palpable.

 “No,” Tim says, giving Jon a firm look. “I don’t want an apology or- or pity or whatever. That’s not the point of this.” He sits back in the chair, takes a deep breath, and says, “I don’t remember when I stopped feeling angry. I didn’t visit you at first, in the hospital, but when I did, I… I don’t know.” Tim shrugs and looks at the floor. “I guess I just decided that you wouldn’t have chosen that. To- to be half-dead and dreaming while the rest of us lived.”

 Jon’s quiet for a long moment. Then, he makes a sound that might be a laugh if it weren’t so bitter. “No,” he says, voice rough around the edges. “I didn’t. But I did choose to wake up. I made a choice, and I- I think it was the wrong one.”

 “What,” Tim says, “because you chose to live rather than to die?”

 Jon shakes his head, just once. “Because I chose to be this.” He gestures at the desk, at the room around him. “The… the Archivist.”

 Tim takes a moment to consider. Then, he says bluntly, “Fine. Let’s say you did. You chose to go full monster, give up the mantle of humanity entirely, and then—what?”

 Jon blinks at him. “What?”

 “What are you going to do now?”

 Jon opens and closes his mouth a few times before finally saying, “I- I suppose I’ll just… work?”

 Tim can’t help letting out a short, clipped laugh. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

 Jon makes an indignant noise. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 “Nothing. I just—” Tim pauses, looks at his hands. There’s a worm scar between his middle and ring finger on his left hand that never healed quite right, that’s now a twisted knot of scar tissue. He focuses on it as he says, “You’re still you, you know? Even before, with all the shit you pulled—the stalking and the murder accusations and the questions—it was… it was still just you. And whether or not you’re still human, you’re still Jon.”

 “Oh,” Jon says, the word empty and hollow. “Is… is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

 Tim doesn’t know yet, not really. The relationship between them is still flayed open and raw, ripped apart by months of poor choices and hurtful words. But he meets Jon’s eyes, sees that familiar brown that he used to wake up to in the mornings, takes note of the small cluster of circular scars just beneath Jon’s temple, and decides that if it’s not good, it’s certainly on the way there. The thought leaves him feeling a bit weightless, and he realizes with an aching in his chest that he’s missed Jon. Not in the physical sense, because Jon’s always been here, conscious or not, and his presence has been burned into the back of Tim’s mind like a brand, an itch he can’t quite scratch. But still, there had been an empty space within him that he hadn’t been able to cover or fill, shaped like warm sunlit mornings and shared bottles of wine and kisses on foreheads and noses and lips. And it had ached, as much as Tim wished it hadn’t. That that Jon was gone and this Jon had taken his place. The resentment Tim felt at the fact was bitter and heavy and painful.

 It’s still not the same Jon, sitting in front of him now and worrying his ring between his fingers in a familiar nervous tic. But he’s not the same Tim either. Affection doesn’t come easy for him anymore and everything hurts and there are so, so many things he can’t forgive Jon for. That he doesn’t know how to. But at some point, the blanket of revenge-fueled anger had melted away and he’d just been tired.

 “I don’t know,” Tim says, because it’s true. But it’s also true when he continues, “But I want it to be good. It might take some time, and I- I can’t just forget about what’s happened between us, but…” Tim’s chest tightens, and his next words come out choked and a bit forced. “I missed you. And I’m glad you’re not dead, okay? I don’t know if you’ve convinced yourself that I wouldn’t be, but I am.” Quieter: “God knows I’ve already lost enough.”

 “Oh,” Jon says again, barely more than a whisper. Then, hesitantly: “I… thank you, Tim. I’m also glad that you… that you’re still here. For what it’s worth.”

 “You don’t have to…” Tim pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes, lets out a long breath. “Never mind.”

 “I know,” Jon says, something terribly vulnerable in his voice. When Tim opens his eyes, Jon’s looking at him, a faint ghost of a smile on his lips. Tim can’t stop looking at it. “But I want to. I… I still care about you, Tim. I always have, even if I- I didn’t always show it.”

 The Tim of six months ago would probably have laughed at that. Would have said that it didn’t matter if he cared or not, or that if he really cared he wouldn’t have spent half a year tracking his every move and thinking that Tim was even remotely capable of killing him. (That bit had hit particularly hard. Tim had gone home afterward and scrubbed every reminder of Jon from his house, every picture and favorite mug and lingering jumper and that one souvenir from his trip to Spain that Jon had once rambled about for two hours. It had hurt, and when he was done, he’d felt hollowed out and empty. Enough room for the anger to begin to creep in, he supposes.)

 Instead, Tim sighs and says, “You know, that was the worst part. The fact that after everything, even when I hated you, I still couldn’t stop myself from caring.” He digs his fingernails into the soft skin of the inside of his wrist. “It hurt to care, so I pretended like I didn’t. But all the shit that happened to you—Christ, Jon, I’m not so much of an asshole to think that you deserved to be tortured and kidnapped every other week. I don’t know if anyone ever told you that you didn’t deserve it, so there it is.”

 Jon’s looking at him with wide eyes and lips slightly parted, and Tim feels something in his chest ache at the sight. “Don’t look at me like that.”

 “Like- like what?”

 “Like I’ve—” Like I’ve hung the fucking moon. “Look, that’s just basic human decency, okay?”

 “Okay,” Jon echoes quietly. He’s still looking at Tim and his lips are still slightly parted and the ache in Tim’s chest amplifies until he can barely stand it. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he’s reminded of the first time he asked Jon, standing halfway inside the doorframe of his house after their third date, if he could kiss him. How Jon had looked startled, all wide eyes and parted lips, and after a moment had nodded wordlessly. How Jon’s hair had been soft beneath his fingers as he’d cupped Jon’s cheek and how Jon’s lips had been warm against his and how Jon had inhaled slightly at the contact, like even though Tim had asked, he was still surprised that he’d followed through.

 Tim looks at Jon, at the still-familiar shape of his lips save for a small circular scar near the left corner, and tries to convince himself, just for a moment, that he doesn’t want to kiss him.

 He’s never been very good at self-control.

 So he stands, braces one hand on Jon’s desk, and reaches forward with the other, stopping just shy of Jon’s face. When Jon doesn’t move away, he rests his palm lightly against Jon’s cheek, his thumb coming to rest just underneath Jon’s eye. “This doesn’t fix things,” Tim says quietly. “But I’d still like to kiss you. If you’re okay with that.”

 Jon hesitates. Then, barely more than a whisper, he says, “Okay.”

 “Okay.” Tim pauses a moment more before tilting Jon’s head slightly up, leaning forward, and kissing him.

 It’s still as easy as breathing.

[leighistired]

Out Loud

A Martin character study AO3 Link

“G’night mum, love you.”

“Make sure you put the trash out, don’t want it stinking up the house.”

At 12 it occurs to Martin, he can’t recall the last time his mother said “I love you” to him. She must have. He knows she loves him, so why can’t he remember her saying it? Was it before dad left? It can’t have been that long ago. He knows if he brings it up she’ll just tell him off for being silly so he just decides to not say it unless she says it first. She doesn’t say it.

“Look how nice our neighbor’s garden is,” she says instead. “If only we could have such a nice garden.”

“The neighbors hire a man-” Martin tries to explain. He had just done law maintenance over the weekend; he would have to bring up memory issues next time they saw a doctor.

“Aren’t you happy with how I provide for you?” She snaps. “Ever since your lousy father left us I have done my best even with my health and all you can talk about is getting a bloody gardener.”

“Sorry, mum,” he says. It’s better not to argue when she gets like this.

“Forget it. Just get me my tea.”

He goes and brews her a cup of Oolong tea. It’s far too bitter for his tastes but it’s all he buys when he does the shopping. Perhaps that was it, instead of saying she loved him she just provided for him.

Martin tells himself that until she gets too sick to work and begins needling him to get a job at 14. Suddenly he’s providing for her on top of school and everything else but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. She was just sick and the medication she was on made her tired most of the time so it wasn’t like he could expect her to be excited to see him; especially not when he’s the one bringing it to her.

“Is soup the only thing you buy?” She asks one evening when he brings her dinner.

“You didn’t have soup last night,” he reminds her patiently after a long day of school and work.

“Oh, so you think I’m ungrateful? I am your mother! I gave birth to you! You should be happy to take care of me!”

“It would be nice if you acted like a mum for once!” Martin snaps back. He regrets it as soon as he says it and doesn’t wait to hear her response. He leaves the house and sits in the park near his house for a long time and cries. Of course she loves him. It must be so hard on her to be stuck at home all day with no one to talk to and there he went snapping at her. She’s asleep by the time he comes home and neither of them mentions it in the morning.

Martin doesn’t know what he expects when he starts to transition. He hadn’t even called it a transition at first, he just likes how he looks with short hair, baggy clothes, and a sports bra. His mother disagrees. There are days she won’t even look at him and when she does it’s usually even worse.

“You cut your hair again,” she mentions one morning over breakfast. “Just when you were starting to look like a girl.”

“Yup,” Martin replies tight-lipped. He had been thinking it over for a while and he’s slowly coming to terms with the fact that he isn’t a girl. The way she says it hits him sharply. If she was never going to say “I love you” to a daughter, why would she say it to a son? He doesn’t bother coming out to her properly because he can already see the disgust on her face when he gets a proper binder.

When she decides to move into a full-time care facility, it’s almost a relief. He feels foolish for expecting her to say it when she leaves. He feels even more foolish when he says it in goodbye. The receptionist gives him a sympathetic look when she doesn’t say it back but the receptionist probably assumes his mother has memory issues and forgot who he was. She doesn’t. Still, he appreciates the gesture.

Dating is nearly impossible for most of his life. It’s easiest to blame his busy schedule; he doesn’t even have time for friends outside of school. The fact that no one even asks him out isn’t something he wants to think about. After he drops out of school and his mother leaves, dating and friendship don’t get any easier. He can’t let anyone he works with get close enough or they’ll find out his real age and utter lack of qualifications. Online dating is also out of the question for similar reasons. If one of his coworkers saw him with the age 19 in his profile they would either know he wasn’t actually 25 or they would think he was a creep and he didn’t exactly feel comfortable lying about his age to potential dates. Meeting people organically isn’t the worst thing in the world but it’s difficult. He makes a few passing friends at a local trans support group but even then, he can’t get close to anyone without risking someone discovering his falsified CV.

He doesn’t have his first real boyfriend until he’s 23 years old. They meet at a Holloween party thrown by a mutual acquaintance and date for almost five months before Martin ruins it.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Dominick, I love you,” Martin says as he serves dinner.

“Oh, uh, it’s a little fast to say that, don’t you think?” Dominick had stammered awkwardly. Was it? It didn’t seem like it to Martin and even if it was, it was true. He loved Dominick.

“I-I don’t think so,” Martin replies nervously. Some distant part of himself starts to berate him for being so needy.

“It kind of is. Let’s just pretend you never said it and we’ll see how we feel in a few more months, ok?”

“You mean we’ll see how you feel,” Martin says a little bitterly.

“Why can’t you just relax and enjoy the holiday?”

Martin had sighed in resignation and picked at the rest of his plate. They broke up a week later because Dominick felt like they were “looking for different things.”

Martin doesn’t have another serious boyfriend after that. He goes on a few more dates over the years but nothing that lasts longer than five months. Nothing that lasts long enough to say “I love you.” In some deep dark part of him, he wonders if he was ever meant for love. His father hadn’t loved him enough to stay, his mother hadn’t said she loved him in over a decade, and he’s not even sure he was in love with Dominick. He gets crushes, sure, but he just throws himself into his work at the Magnus Institute instead.

Working in the library isn’t bad. He gets along with his coworkers well enough but he can never get close to them. Not close enough to love them as friends or be loved in return.

Then he gets transferred to the Archives.

Jonathan Sims is not the first asshole boss Martin has ever had. He doesn’t understand why Mr. Bouchard sent him down to work in the Archive in the first place and his first impression with his new boss is less than stellar when a dog follows him into the building. It doesn’t help that Jon is good-looking and every once in a while Martin catches glimpses of a version of the Archivist without a stick up his ass. Like when he spends Martin’s ice cream birthday talking about emulsifiers. If only he would be clearer about what he actually wants from Martin. No report or follow-up seems to be good enough, even with the help of Tim and Sasha.

Martin works hard for Jon’s approval. He doesn’t know why he wants the recognition but it’s either this or quit and he really, really can’t quit. So he spends three full days looking for every woman named Angela over fifty in Bexley only to be berated for actually talking to one of them and then he offers to look into a case about spiders that clearly upsets Jon only to get trapped in his flat by a zombie worm woman.

When he finally escapes, he takes a few worm corpses with him and he dumps them on Jon’s desk while he’s in the middle of a statement. Let Jon try and disprove that When he gives his own statement he makes special emphasis on reminding Jon how hard he worked to meet his exacting standards. He refuses to be yelled at for this.

Except Jon believes him. More than believes him, in fact. He offers Martin a place to stay. Of course that would be enough to ignite a crush in Martin.

As soon as they get to document storage Martin sits on the cot and begins to cry with exhaustion. He expects Jon to leave but again he surprises him.

“I-it’s alright, Martin,” he says awkwardly as he pats Martin’s shoulder. “You’ll be safe here and I’m certain Elias will respond promptly to my request for extra security.”

“Thanks,” Martin sniffs. He can’t remember the last time he cried in front of another person.

“Would...would you like me to stay until you fall asleep? If- if you think it will help.”

“Oh, er...no...I’ll be fine, thank you. You should be getting home, anyway. It’s Saturday, Jon.”

Martin blacks out as soon as Jon shuts the door to document storage. When he wakes up he finds his crush on Jon stubbornly still in place.

He can’t help himself after that. He starts taking special care of Jon in hopes of encouraging the kind man he saw that night into emerging. At the very least Jon doesn’t yell at him as much and he even thanks Martin for the tea he brings. It’s then that he notices other things about Jon, like how rattled he gets by certain statements and how he’ll often go an entire day without eating or drinking anything unless someone brings him something. That someone being Martin. He also notices how late Jon leaves, if he leaves at all.

It’s on one such night of Jon still being in his office at 11 o’clock that Martin knocks on Jon’s office door.

“Jon?” He calls gently.

“Hzzmt! Martin?” Jon responds, having been startled awake from dozing at his desk. “You should be asleep.”

“And you should be home.”

“I see your point,” Jon sighs. “I’ll finish up here and head home. Unless you need something?”

“Actually….I-I was thinking,” Martin beings. “Since I sort of kicked you off your cot...D’you want to come back to document storage with me? You know, get some sleep?”

“What?”

“Er...forget I-”

“The cot would be rather cramped with both of us,” Jon warns as he gets up from his desk. “If...if you’re sure you want me to join you.”

“Yeah...I thought you had work to do?”

“It can wait until morning, no use keeping you up longer than necessary.”

Martin only half regrets offering to share a bed with his crush. Jon was right, the only way to fit both of them on the cot is for both of them to sleep on their sides (or for Jon to sleep on top of Martin but even the thought has his face burning) and it’s difficult for him to fall asleep with Jon’s back pressed against his. It’s good to hear Jon fall asleep, though, and as time wears on it’s easier for Martin to goad Jon away from work to sleep a few hours.

The more of himself Jon reveals the harder Martin falls for him. Especially after Jon accuses him of being a ghost during the Prentiss attack. Even with the guilt Martin feels every time he looks at Jon mummified in bandages. That was Martin’s fault. If he had just paid more attention then he wouldn’t have lost Jon and Tim in the tunnels. He does everything he can to try and make up for it; despite Jon becoming more and more closed off by the day. Intellectually, Martin knows that Jon has gotten like that with everyone, but something deep down makes Martin feel like it’s his fault Jon’s gotten so cold. It doesn’t help that Jon seems to have gotten friendly with the policewoman investigating the murder of the previous Archivist. Tim even seems to think they’re having an affair which does wonders for Martin’s self-esteem. Jon wouldn’t be the first straight man Martin has ever had a crush on but Martin was pretty sure Jon wasn’t straight. Again, he wonders if he’s done something wrong to push Jon away.

After Jon stumbles out of his office covered in blood claiming to have had an accident with a bread knife Martin finds all the excuse he needs to regularly drag Jon to the canteen to make sure he eats something. The silences during those lunches are hard. They had eaten together before but now Jon wasn’t talking to him. The most Martin could get out of him were a few one-word answers. He tries not to think about how it reminds him of his mum.

“So,” he tries for the millionth time while Jon picks at his sandwich. “Did I tell you what happened while you were at physical therapy the other day?”

Jon doesn’t say anything but he looks up with a gaze that bores into Martin.

“Uh...A little girl came in alone with a statement, she must��ve only been eight years old,” Martin says. Jon looks at him with an expression that almost seems afraid. “Don’t worry, it recorded fine on digital. She walked right down into the Archive, walked up to my desk, and said ‘Excuse me. My name is Beatrice Walker and I’d like to make a statement about a supernatural occurrence.’ She sounded so grown up and she refused to leave until I had recorded her statement. Turns out her dad was using the library for research and she had just wandered off.”

“What was her statement about?” Jon asks to Martin’s surprise.

“Oh, a hamster with mysteriously changing spots.”

“Ah,” Jon replies thoughtfully. “Not much need for follow-up there, I suppose.”

“Not unless you really need me to track down the shop where her parents picked up the new hamster.”

He catches the briefest of smirks from Jon before the conversation dies again.

After that Jon’s coldness and paranoia comes out in the form of a screaming accusation over letters Jon found in the trash. Martin barely manages to make it to the bathroom before he bursts into tears after coming clean about his CV. Tim thankfully doesn’t check on him while he silently curses his taste in men. Jon doesn’t meet his eye for the next week in what he bitterly hopes is guilt. He does seem slightly more willing to talk with Martin at lunch, though.

Then Jon goes missing. After trying to get Martin and Tim to go home early because Jon was feeling under the weather; he disappears. Not before apparently bludgeoning someone with a pipe and isn’t that exactly what he and Tim need to see as soon as they get back from a two-week kidnapping by a spooky door monster?

With Sasha gone, Jon missing, and Melanie King being suddenly hired by Elias, whatever’s left of Martin’s relationship with Tim deteriorates. More so when Martin becomes the only one in the world to believe Jon could be innocent. It’s probably that that makes the police detective “investigating” Jon so actively hostile toward him. Apparently, people say he and Jon are “close” and that probably only means the lunch thing but he wants to imagine it’s something more. Like people are somehow picking up that Jon likes him back.

When Jon comes back to confront Elias it’s all Martin can think to do to fall back on his tea-making. He ducks into Jon’s office with a piping cup of the overly sweet tea he spent months perfecting to Jon’s taste and finds him with his face buried in his one non-bandaged hand.

“Jon?” He calls as gently as he can while he closes the door behind him. “I brought you some tea.”

It’s when Jon looks up that Martin notices the bloody mess down the front of his shirt.

“You’re hurt. Let me go get the first aid-”

“No!” Jon interrupts frantically. “Just...Could you just stay with me for a moment?”

Martin acquiesces and they sit side by side on the sofa in Jon’s office in silence until Jon starts sniffling into his tea. He offers Jon a hug and Jon all but dives into his chest to cry. It’s the saddest most broken thing Martin has ever heard and it’s all he can do not to pull Jon into his lap and curl around him protectively.

“Martin...I-I...I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “For everything. For Sasha and Prentiss and...and for the way I treated you. You didn’t….no one deserves that.”

“None of that was your fault and I sort of deserved it. I didn’t actually know what I was doing.”

“You didn’t deserve it,” Jon insists before going back to quietly crying into Martin’s jumper. Martin doesn’t respond. He can’t recall the last time someone’s apologized to him. At least not like that. He’d been told off most of his life for not doing things up to people’s standards. A few people over the years had told him he didn’t deserve it but Jon was the first person to apologize. No wonder Martin was falling in love with him.

Damn it.

Cuddling doesn’t become a regular occurrence for them by any means but Jon begins doing more to seek Martin out after that. They eat lunch together more often and Martin stays up late to talk to Jon while he’s abroad. It drives home how deeply buried into Martin’s heart Jon has become. Especially after he comes back after going missing for a month and has the audacity to joke about being moisturized by a clown mannequin for a month.

He wonders if Jon feels the same way. Sometimes Jon will smile shyly at him, and he can almost believe that Jon would be interested in a relationship if the world wasn’t ending. The last time they speak before the Unknowing they’re in document storage.

“Are you ready?” Jon asks as he shifts nervously.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Martin signs. He heard what happened to Melanie. He knows what’s likely to happen to him. Some small part of him is screaming to just tell Jon his feelings like it’s the climax of an action movie.

“Stay safe,” Jon says.

“Come back,” Martin replies. Jon offers him a hug. It’s no movie kiss but it allows Martin to hold Jon as close as possible. Jon himself is hanging off of Martin’s neck and it feels like a final goodbye.

Then Elias confirms what Martin has always suspected deep down. That his mother never loved him or if there was a time when she did, she stopped when his father left. Even after everything. After he spent years taking care of her. After he had to quit school to care for her. All she ever saw was his father. All his transition did was to remind her further of how much he looked like his father’s son. At least it was worth it. To distract Elias so Melanie could find evidence to arrest him.

Then Peter Lukas shows up and reveals that Elias planned to get arrested. Worse than that, he offers Martin a promotion of sorts.

Then they get the news from Yarmouth. Tim’s body is found in a charred heap, Daisy is missing, and Jon is dead in all but brain activity. At least Basira is physically alive.

Martin spends as much time as he can next to Jon. He’s used to loving someone who can’t love him back. Maybe this is all he’s destined for. Love unrequited. He talks to Jon’s dreaming corpse. Tells him about his day, reads him poetry, even a statement, but nothing draws Jon out of his coma.

Then his mother dies. He barely has the emotional strength to mourn her. Instead, he scatters her ashes and mourns his childhood lost to trying impossibly to earn her love.

After the Flesh attacks, Martin makes a decision. He’ll join Lukas. It’ll probably lead to his death but what did that matter? His mother was gone and didn’t care about him anyway. Tim and Sasha were gone. Jon was basically gone. Basira and Melanie were the only people left that he vaguely cared about and by doing this he could at least protect them.

He visits Jon one last time in the hospital. He’s still covered in wires and his eyes still flit around violently behind his lids as Martin sits down next to him and takes his hand.

“Hey Jon,” he says quietly. “I...This is the last time I’m going to see you...Probably ever. I know, I know old dramatic Martin surely he’s exaggerating. I’m not. The Institute is in danger and...I have a way to keep Melanie and Basira a little safer, so I’m doing it. I just came by one last time to say...Jon, I...I love you. Goodbye.”

He gets up and presses a kiss on a part of Jon’s forehead not covered in wires before leaving. It’s alright that he doesn’t say it back. No one ever says it back to Martin.

When Jon wakes up everything becomes that much harder. Suddenly he had a reason to live and the way Jon pursues him makes him almost believe...No, even completing the thought would be dangerous for all of them. Jon trusts him enough not to be constantly badgering and that makes it worse. When Jon is there the Lonely makes Martin resent his presence and when Jon’s gone Martin resents his absence.

The final, most excruciating pain is when Jon comes after him in the Lonely. He’s excepted his fate in the chilling numbness of the Lonely. Maybe that’s why he says it. The certain, inevitable rejection would be numbed utterly. So he says it.

“I really loved you, you know?”

And Jon looks broken. Even after he rips Peter’s statement from him. Even when he reaches for Martin’s face with hands that seem far too warm and makes him See. Knowing Jon loves him isn’t like “knowing” his mother loves him. Instead of a lie born in Martin’s mind to stamp down the fear of rejection, it’s a reality pouring from Jon’s mind mingled with Jon’s fears of rejection.

Jon’s hands still feel too warm compared to the icy chill of the Lonely as he leads Martin out. Still, he refuses to let go all the way through the tunnels, the Institute, talking to Basira, packing at each other’s flats, and on to the train. The way to Daisy’s safe house feels like a blur and when they finally arrive it’s all Martin can do to remember to take off his binder before collapsing into bed with Jon’s warm arms around him.

He wakes to Jon’s quiet crying. The awful, stifled thing that breaks Martin’s heart.

“Jon,” he whispers.

“Martin? Did I wake you? I’m sorry, I’ll-”

“It’s alright, Jon,” he assures as he swaps their positions so Jon is tucked firmly against him. Jon makes another broken noise and Martin can’t stop himself from crying, too.

“I-I’m here, Martin. You aren’t on your own,” Jon soothes and Martin almost has to laugh. They lay crying and comforting each other until they both fall back asleep.

When they wake up properly they take stock of the safe house’s pantry and make a list of things to pick up in the village after breakfast. Martin gives in to the temptation to buy a new notebook to try and write poetry in. They have enough canned food to survive to the next ice age so they pick up perishable items like milk, bread, butter, and eggs. Jon also picks up fresh peaches and a box of Martin’s preferred tea. It’s easy to pretend like they going on a normal shopping trip as they walk up and down the aisles to check things off their list.

They return to the cabin and settle in. Martin sits on the sofa and tries to write out a poem while Jon tries to read a book from Daisy’s personal collection. After a while, Martin beings to feel Jon’s gaze on him.

“Is there something on my face?” He tries casually as he’s met with an expression he’s never been on the receiving end of.

“I was just thinking about how much I love you,” Jon sighs. Martin can’t stop the noise that comes out of him. All his life trying to earn love and Jon just says it while Martin’s thinking of a synonym for ‘yellow.’

“I-I don’t expect you to reciprocate,” Jon says quickly, his soft expression suddenly turning worried.

“But I do.”

“Oh…Oh!”

“Yeah.”

Jon starts giggling and it’s impossible for Martin not to follow suit until happy tears stream down both of their faces.

[another-cancer]

Day 11, July 19th Enemy Mine

“What the hell Hood?”

“Let go Replacement, the enemy is mine.”

/// 

After they returned to the hospital they barely talked. Not because they didn’t want to, but because neither of the two knew how. Jason was so fucking terrified of anything that could possibly happen if he said anything. Meanwhile, Marinette was noticing a lot of changes and was too afraid to ask.

As days passed and Marinette was able to handle herself better, Jason started disappearing leaving her alone. It was in complete contrast to his watchful eyes when they first returned. She was no longer treated like a delicate flower, but as an independent person. Marinette truly felt she was somewhere in between. She still needed the help. She needed someone to communicate with. She needed Jason.

But he wasn’t there.

One night when Jason got home Marinette took the opportunity to ask, “Where’s Adrien?”

Jason’s eyes went wide. It had been eight days and neither of them had mentioned Adrien at all. He never told her what happened at the hospital, it was all too fresh.

‘ She is the love of my life.’ Adrien made it all complicated. Because Adrien cared too much for her and that scared him. Jason was terrified that Marinette still loved Adrien. Jason considered that maybe he is the second choice. And he didn’t want to lose Marinette, but that was selfish. He was selfish.

“I- I screwed up. At the hospital, I made him leave, he left the city. He left a note for you, I should have shown you it, but I didn’t want you to stress- But I was too busy being an asshole. It’s in my nightstand. I didn’t read it or anything”

“Oh,” that was all she was able to say in return.

But Jason had more to say, “He knows we got married, I told him, that’s how I was able to stay in the hospital, I’m sorry.”

Jason gathered himself and walked out the door.

Marinette stood there and watched wanting to stop him, but not having the words to do it. Instead, she made her way to the note. Finding it right where he had said, a tiny post-it tucked away from sight.

‘Dear Marinette,

I’m sorry I left so suddenly, during a time you probably need all the support. I had some things to figure out and your apartment probably wouldn’t be the best place to figure it all out. Knowing Jason he’s probably already taken the blame for me leaving. It wasn’t his fault. It was no ones.

I still love you, and I think I always will in some capacity. But I don’t want to drag my feelings in your path to happiness, I need to deal with them back in France. I’ve known you’ve loved Jason since the first time I ever visited you in Gotham, I’m not even sure you knew. Maybe I was selfish for not telling you, but I have a feeling you know it now. M’Lady you’re going to get better. And when you’re better you should tell Jason how you feel.

Do what makes you happy, Marinette.

The one and only,

Princess’ Kitty’

Before she even realized it the tears were rolling down her face right onto the note. Marinette curled up into a ball and sobbed. Finally feeling everything she had held since Hawkmoth's first attack. For the first time in over eight years, she felt safe enough to cry alone. Marinette allowed herself to mourn, be angry, and regret.

She missed her days in Paris moonlighting as a superhero, she regretted taking up the mantle. She was angry at Gabriel, Lila, Jason, everyone who left her. She understood why they left. She was conflicted. But she was at peace.

Sobbing violently on the floor she was finally at peace with the past eight years. And that was how Tim found her.

“Marinette,” he had entered the apartment through a living room window that had been left unlocked despite the paranoid humans living in the apartment.

Hearing Tim’s voice she calmed herself, “I’m okay,” she said.

“But you were just-”

“Yeah, I just- It felt nice to cry again.”

“I’ve seen you cry, that’s not it, that is sobbing.”

“I haven’t cried alone in over eight years, let me have my moment,” she said, wiping away the tears, “Is there a reason you’re here?”

“Yeah,” Tim began, recalling an interaction he had with Jason earlier in the evening.

///

As soon as he left the apartment Jason decided to patrol. He had been increasing his patrol since Marinette left the hospital determined to make the city safer. Joker had already been caught, but there were still so many petty crimes around him that needed to be stopped. Robbers, muggers, traffickers, drug lords.

Jason had been even harsher on crime than he had in years.

He had a lot of anger to let out, anger towards the Joker, anger towards himself, and even anger towards Adrien. Patrol was a good way to let a controlled amount of anger out.

Until he saw it.

A man was trying to kidnap a dark-haired woman, and all he saw was green. He felt something he hadn’t since meeting Marinette, the pit. His anger was no longer controlled as he dropped down into the alleyway right on top of the man.

“Run!” Jason screamed at the woman.

He punched the man repeatedly. Blood was visible, but all he saw was the Joker's face. Feet thumped behind him and his punch was interrupting.

“What the hell Hood?”

“Let go Replacement, the enemy is mine.”

Tim heard it in his voice. It was terrifying, he left immediately.

///

“Fuck you should have started with that,” Marinette said getting up, “Where the fuck is he?”

Tim gave her directions as she rushed out of the building with him in tail.

“Wait, you're going to get a cold!” Tim shouted as he followed with her jacket in hand.

“I’ll be fine, Jay on the other hand is about to murder someone.”

The two ran through the streets of Gotham to Jason’s location. Marinette followed by Red Robin, thankfully there weren’t too many onlookers. When they found Jason the area was abandoned with the man he was hitting unconscious.

“JASON PETER TODD WAYNE,” her voice boomed, “you need to stop.”

When she was close everything was always better, he could feel the pit dwindling away. Jason was becoming more conscious about his actions. Pixie was standing there and told him to stop. He stopped.

Tim raced over to check for a pulse and breathing.

“He’s still alive. I'll call the cops you two get out of here. I’ll meet you back at the apartment.”

Marinette grabbed Hood’s bloody gloves and took off dragging him along, only stopping to make a quick costume change. Once back in the apartment Jason gave Marinette a big hug.

“I’m so sorry Pixie,” he sobbed into her.

“Just don’t do that again, okay? Seeing you over his body,” it sent a chill down her spine as she thought back to Paris.

“I think I need to get out of town for a couple of days, I need to get my shit together and then I’ll be back, for your death date and then we can just talk I promise.”

“Okay,” she cried a bit as he held her.

When Tim got back, he was gone.

“He’s leaving town for a couple of days,” she said.

“Oh, are you-”

“I think it’s a good thing, but um would you mind staying till he gets back? I just don’t want to be alone.”

Maybe it was a regression from her newly found peace, maybe she just wasn’t ready. But she didn’t want to be lonely.

“Of course Mari.”

He settled into the spot on the sofa next to her.

Masterlist AO3

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[lala-ladybug]

Healing Hands: Chapter 3

Happy finals week, ugh. As always, reblogs are appreciated!!

Jasonette Sword Art Online AU

Read here on AO3

Tag list: @iloontjeboontje

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Chapter 3: Well shit Babs, maybe I like ponies

Marinette sat on a rock and paddled her bare feet in the water. It was a beautiful day, the sun was warming the top of her loose, dark hair and the ocean in front of her stretched for miles and miles.

A noise disturbed her peaceful moment. A distant cry, probably a seagull.

She sighed and leaned back on her hands to breathe in the smell of--

Marinette choked. Why was there smoke in the air?

The cries grew louder as she looked back at the water before her. She started when she saw that they came from her friends, who were in the now-tumultuous water, trying to keep themselves afloat. They were only a few yards away, she could make it if she just--

A force around her waist tugged her hard as she leapt to her feet. Her face collided with the concrete beneath her-- the top of a building, she realized. If the water level was up this high, then....

From where she lay, she could see directly down into the water. It was no longer clear, but a deep crimson. There were dozens of figures scattered about, some still struggling and some motionless. She scrambled to get up as her eyes snapped to Alya’s hand disappearing below the waves.

That damn force jerked her to the other side of the building, farther from her friends.

“No!” Marinette cried out desperately. The force released her and she whirled to find her attacker.

A flash of red caught her eye, and--

Oh.

It was Ladybug.

Marinette shook her head, not understanding. If that was Ladybug, then.... No, it couldn’t be Ladybug, because she was Ladybug. She fumbled for her earrings, but felt nothing.

Ladybug stalked deliberately up to Marinette and pushed her to the ground. Marinette landed on her hands and knees, both of which were now shaking.

“Look at them,” it was her own voice that spat so harshly from Ladybug’s lips. “Look at them.” She grabbed Marinette’s hair from behind and forced her head up.

Marinette could now see Adrien, Kagami, Luka, and Chloe in the ocean in front of her. Their lifeless faces floated just below the surface, the bloodied water doing nothing to conceal their frozen expressions of terror.

Marinette sobbed and closed her eyes. Ladybug pulled sharply on her hair again, and looked into Marinette’s eyes.

“Look at them. Don’t you dare take your eyes off the mess you’ve made. You will never be able to save them all,” Ladybug’s eyes, her eyes, blazed with the vehemence of her words. She opened her mouth to speak again, but a loud beeping sound was all that came out.

Marinette gasped and sat up in her bed, the alarm sending her heartbeat into a frenzy. Tikki flew up next to her as she slumped over with a hand over her eyes.

It was just a dream.

Another Kwami must have turned off her alarm because the beeping had stopped, but Marinette could still hear the echoes of her friends’ dying breaths ringing in her ears.

“Marinette... are you okay?” Tikki placed a delicate paw on her chosen’s arm. “We heard you cry out while you were sleeping.”

The girl lifted her head and gave the little god a shaky smile. “It was just a dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tikki floated back down to where the other Kwami were piled on the side of the bed with similarly worried expressions on their faces.

Marinette exhaled a bracing sigh. “Okay.... It was Syren. Or-or Chat Blanc, I’m not really sure.” The Kwami exchanged a look at that. This was not the first time she’d had a nightmare about water. “But Ladybug was there, and she was attacking me.”

Tikki looked especially concerned about that new piece of information. She opened her mouth to say something when Marinette’s phone lit up with a call. The ringtone was Alya’s.

Marinette picked up, trying to control the shaking of her hands. “H-hey girl, what’s up?” Her tone was deceptively cheerful.

“Hey Mari! Just checking to see if you’re awake. Nino and I are ready, he even put on the goggles already!” Marinette instantly relaxed as she heard Alya’s excited voice bubbling out.

“Yeah dudette, they feel really weird. But comfy!” Nino must have leaned over to pitch in.

Marinette shook off the last vestiges of the nightmare with a giggle. “Yeah, it’s kind of tricky to get the headset to fit over your glasses, but you’ll get used to it!”

“Well if you’re not ready yet then you’d better hurry up, girl! The game launches in five minutes.”

Marinette scrambled to check the time. “Oh crap! I gotta go, see you guys soon!” She hung up and rushed to untangle herself from her blankets.

“Good thing you set three alarms, huh?” Tikki followed her down from the loft and watched her brush out her hair.

Marinette stuck her tongue out at the god of creation.

* * *

Red Hood stalked into the Batcave, nearly running Oracle over as she wheeled herself up to her station at the Batcomputer.

“Woah Jaybird, don’t let me get in your way there,” Babs glared at his retreating back. “Asshole,” she muttered to herself.

Jason hurled his helmet onto the floor of the bathroom and began shucking off his suit with far more force than necessary. He started a shower and looked over his new wounds in the mirror. He’d been stupid, so damn stupid, on patrol.

“Red Hood, report in,” Batman’s gravelly voice cut through on his comms. “Hood, you are not to engage alone. What is your location?”

But Jason couldn’t hear him. The only thing he could hear was blood rushing in his ears, but it wasn’t his blood. No, it was the blood of every monstrous, corrupt asshole in this city. And he wanted it to run on the streets.

The Joker had sent thugs out to a meet-up. Well, Red Hood could send them back in a casket. He crouched beside a gargoyle and watched for the arrival of the van he’d tailed. There were only two men. They left the vehicle and waited outside, lighting cigarettes. Too easy.

Red Hood swept down the building, guns never leaving their holsters. He wanted this to hurt. Them or him, he wasn’t sure. But he got his wish as he beat the two men to a pulp. He wasn’t sure how far he’d have gone if not for the arrival of the gang the Joker’s men were supposed to meet with.

They slashed his back with knives. Shallow wounds, easy to manage. By the time Red Hood turned to face them, the others had arrived-- Batman, Nightwing, Robin. And boy were they pissed.

Jason winced as the hot water hit the cuts on his back. He rolled his shoulders and just let the steam ground him. He didn’t kill again, even if every time that green-haired bastard got involved, he went off the rails.

He would get to choose his own path, not the one Bruce wanted for him, but damn well not the one Thalia wanted for him either. This story was his, he reminded himself while gingerly toweling off. Even if he couldn’t look his own reflection in the eye.

He gripped the countertop, staring down as he let his hair drip into the sink. No, he wasn’t feeling desperate enough to see if his eyes were green again.

Damnit, he had to apologize to Babs. He felt calmer now, but he’d been a real dick when he came in. Jason dressed quickly in sweatpants and an old shirt, then padded quietly back to where he knew his sister would be at the computers.

“Hey,” he said, knocking softly when he entered to announce his presence. Barbara didn’t respond for a moment. She was leaning forward in her chair, typing something into one monitor while listening to police chatter, then nodded to herself and sat back.

“Hey.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Robin told me what happened on patrol.”

Jason scowled. “That little tattletale.”

Barbara offered him a reassuring smile. “That little tattletale is the only reason I didn’t hack into your bank account and order a damn pony.”

“Well shit Babs, maybe I like ponies,” Jason snarked back, but his heart wasn’t into it. “Listen... I’m sorry about earlier. If replacement talked to you already, you know what kind of mood I was in, but that’s no excuse.”

Babs turned her chair to face him and held out her hand. He stepped forward and took it, and she said, “We know you’re trying, Jay. Stuff like this? This is who you are. A year ago, you wouldn’t have been caught dead apologizing to me!” She cringed. “Ah, no offense.”

He chuckled. “None taken, it’s about time you started getting in on the undead jokes.” He patted her hand before walking away back to the main space of the cave. “But thank you, it means a lot.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth!” She raised her voice and turned back to face the computer.

Dick and Tim were already waiting in the cave. Tim was fiddling with some beds and what looked like opaque ski goggles. He always fidgeted when he was nervous.

“Hey replacement,” Jason shouted across the room. He noticed Dick bristle, but cut him off before he could get the patented older brother speech. “How much time ‘til the launch?”

Tim’s eyes lit up, and damn him for caring, but Jason just didn’t want them to be afraid of him.

* * *

Connor and Zatanna were washing dishes in the Cave’s kitchen after dinner. Connor heard the distant sound of someone arriving via zeta tube. He let Zatanna know as they finished drying their plates, then followed her to go greet their visitors.

Wally and Artemis staggered into the room, both weighed down by overflowing boxes of equipment.

“Oh thank god, please help me!” Artemis said, spotting Connor. He obliged and easily took the heavy box from her. She rubbed her arms and smiled gratefully as he held it aloft in one hand.

“It must be so handy having him around,” she sighed to Zatanna.

The magician giggled. “It certainly has its perks, but....” She lifted her hands and said clearly, “Flesruoy egnarra.” The contents of the boxes, some assorted cots, VR headsets, and computers, floated up and placed themselves into a neat formation. “A girl can get by by herself.” She gave Artemis a fistbump.

The zeta tube activated and they all looked up to watch it. The AI announced Wondergirl, and Cassie Sandsmark walked out. She looked up from her phone and waved. “Oh hey guys, whatcha doing?”

Wally zoomed around the set-up Zatanna had created. “We’re just setting up to play this new virtual reality game that’s coming out at midnight! What about you?”

“Oh, what a coincidence, I was just--”

Cassie was cut off by the zeta tube activating again. This time it was Bart, carrying Jaime bridal style, and running at full speed. He skidded to a halt, put a very ill-looking Jaime down, and ran a hand through his windswept hair.

“So totally crash! What’s poppin’?” He made finger guns at Connor, Zatanna, and Artemis.

Zatanna started explaining, “Well, like were just telling Cassie, there’s this new video game coming out at midnight and we--”

She was interrupted by the screech of a green pterodactyl swooping in from the zeta tube. It circled once around the high ceilings of the hollowed-out mountain, then landed and shrank into Beast Boy.

“Just a heads up, Arsenal’s right behind me and he’s a little angry-- oh what are you guys doing?”

Connor was getting frustrated now. “We’re trying to get set up for this new video game that’s launching in five minutes, so if you guys wouldn’t mind--”

A small explosion sounded from the door to the exterior of the island. Roy burst in amidst a cloud of dust.

“Hope I’m not late, I lost my phone.” He sounded like he was in a bad mood.

Bart whispered to Connor, “He means he destroyed his phone.”

Roy dusted off his pants, then looked to Wally and Artemis and asked, “The hell are you doing here?”

“AUGH,” Artemis had had enough. “We’re here to play the video game coming out at midnight! If you want to join us, fine, but if you don’t then get out.” She pointed to the zeta tubes.

Garfield tried to placate her. “Sheesh, it’s just a game! No need to get so worked up.”

Jaime gave him an incredulous look. “Weren’t you just throwing a tantrum yesterday about Bart kicking your ass halfway to Bialya in Smash?”

“...Noted.” Garfield answered.

“Well, looks like we’ve got plenty of hands to help get everyone set up. Let’s get to it!” Cassie expertly maneuvered the two teams away from setting off their more explosive members. They distributed headsets and assigned reclining positions without further delay.

* * *

Marinette put the headset on and laid down on her bed.

“Ready to go back?” Tikki asked her.

She gave the little god a grin. “Definitely.”

In the distance, the bells in Notre Dame chimed six times, but Marinette couldn’t hear them. Her mind had gone somewhere far, far away. Somewhere new.

[kimberly-spirits13]

Crush Pt. 3 HC (Meeting the Batfam):

Dick Grayson:

.        Grayson is the older person that you meet in the family

.        Everyone was out for the day and you were just casually making cookies in the kitchen

.        No big deal

.        Totally normal

.        He walks in on you with your ear buds in making cookies

.        He knew you since he was into the work you did

.        Totally fangirled

.        The Y/N L/N was in the kitchen, making cookies, dancing around to music

.        *dies*

.        You take your ear buds out and introduce yourself

.        He knows you obviously but it’s still the polite thing to do

.        Immediately starts asking questions

.        Sits at the counter and just asks questions about everything and everyone

.        “Is it true that *random person* is actually a massive pain in the ass to deal with???”

.        “Oh, yeah, they’re terrible but no one says anything about it since they’re all too afraid of them.”

.        “And also it the Met Gala really even that great? I mean the dresses and outfits are great but what’s it actually like?”

.        Things like that

.        He’s just amazed that Bruce got you and that you’re also a hero

.        Stupid shocked and amazed

.        He’s really fun to hang around though

Jason Todd:

.        Probably someone that you actively wanted to meet since you knew about his and Bruce’s relationship

.        You had a few friends or relatives that had that happen to them

.        It was something that you just wanted to move past and get to know him

.        It was only by coincidence that you met at the manor one day walking in with Bruce

.        He saw that you had on a band tee from a group that he loved

.        Hard core fan of

.        He just got up, introduced himself and then started asking about your musical tastes

.        Then book tastes

.        If you shot or not

.        Basically a friendly interrogation and conversation on bands and media

.        He loved you a lot and told Bruce that

.        “I hate to tell you old man, but you did good with this one.” “Don’t upset her.”

.        Bruce was very proud and you could tell

.        You probably took Jason to a concert to get to know each other better and were both just screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs

.        It was the best and he was thrilled to have someone that actively cared about him without caring about things he’d done

.        Someone like a mother that didn’t judge him

Tim Drake:

.        You just kind of met one day

.        Both of you were in New York for a gala, Bruce was going and was taking Tim, and you were going since your brand was connected with the gala

.        Tim was the one that walked up to you since he had that gala confidence that he doesn’t have elsewhere

.        Introduced himself and asked if you were who Bruce was dating

.        You answered yes and then started talking

.        There was no real structure to the conversation

.        Tim liked that you could keep up with anything he was talking about

.        Not that he thought that the people Bruce dated were typically dumb, it was just that no one was this strategic in their thinking and intelligent in their speaking

.        He felt someone was really listening to him and taking in what he had to say to make another statement or reply instead of just nodding their head and agreeing

.        It was wonderful

.        Finally someone that was real and not just another girlfriend

.        Bruce really hasn’t had that many, it’s just that the media likes to make it out that way

.        Anyways, you got off really well and it was nice since he just felt respected

Damian Wayne:

.        First person that you met

.        He was not super inviting at first but you had done your research

.        The kid has mommy and daddy issues so he wasn’t super, super content on letting you in quickly and you were fine with that

.        You did talk about things that you knew interested him

.        And also didn’t act any more fancy or important than anyone else

.        You just acted purely genuine and that worked really well

.        Titus also immediately liked you a lot so Damian knew that you must not be that bad

.        He willingly participated in conversation which scared Bruce a bit

.        What is my child doing and why is he suddenly so nice?

.         Damian is interested in what you say especially when you start talking about the horse farm that your close friend or close family member owns

.        You end up taking him there that week and it’s the best time he’s had in forever

.        An actual bonding time

.        Not just on a rooftop during patrol with his oldest brother no matter how much he actually likes those

.        Damian’s cool with you pretty quickly and sometimes goes and crashes at your apartment sometimes

.        Watching movies and going to museums together is something he enjoys greatly as well

Duke Thomas:

.        You kinda met in the same way as Dick

.        Just very casually

.        He didn’t fangirl as much though

.        He knew who you were and that you probably didn’t want anyone freaking out over you like some do

.        He wasn’t wrong

.        Instead he just asked about how you were doing and just started a nice conversation

.        The most normal out of the entire family which is cool

.        He’s just really nice and warm

.        Very welcoming

.        Wants to make sure you know that the family is weird but you’ll be fine

.        Nothing too terribly wrong at all times kinda thing

Luke Fox:

.        He’s not really Bruce’s kid in actuality, but you do meet, and he is close in the family

.        You meet at WE one day

.        He’s suited up for a meeting and you’re there just since you and Bruce were going for lunch after

.        He’s very polite and basically doesn’t make a big deal about it

.        Wishes you and Bruce the best of luck

.        Not much else

Stephanie Brown: artist credit: @jjmk-jjmk​

.        Just like Dick

.        Fangirls

.        They’re both in the fashion loop

.        Both very, very excited

.        You really like her though since she’s just really fun

.        Very energetic and real

.        She’s super funny too

.        Asking tons of questions about people and trends

.        Basically the same “are the asshole?” questions

.        The answer it most likely yes

.        She and Dick have been to New York Fashion Week together a few times

.        You offer to take them with you the next time and go behind the scenes

.        They’re so down

.        Basically are just in awe of everything the entire time

.        Super excited

.        She loves having a mom figure like you

.        It’s so refreshing for once to have at least one stable parental figure

.        Or at least one that keep it together really well

Cassandra Cain:

.        The girl has never had a good mother figure in her life

.        She’s kinda nervous about you

.        It’s not that she doesn’t trust Bruce or even really you, it’s just that her experiences aren’t good at all

.        You know that she loves dance and does ballet

.        So that’s what you kind of go with

.        She doesn’t talk much if at all and so you signed to her the first time and I swear the girl almost cried since she knew that you actually cared enough to ask

.        She speaks the most around you which is really incredible

.        Bruce is so, so jealous but he’s incredibly happy to see his daughter speak even a bit

.        You’re always taking her out places and having girl days with her just for fun

.        Whatever makes her comfortable

.        Actively are clearing the schedule to see her performances

.        She cries the first time she sees you standing there clapping and just loves that you care so much

.        The girl will kick ass for you if you need it but she knows you don’t since you’re a highly trained hero yourself

.        She is like your daughter along with Steph

.        You have a room for her in your apartment now just incase she wants to stay over

.        When she has a nightmare you’ll sit with her on the couch or even in bed sometimes braiding her hair and either talking through the nightmare if that is her drawing it out, writing it out and you reading it, signing, or just talking about it

.        If she’s not in the mood, you’ll tell stories until she falls asleep and typically you’ll stay since it makes her feel safer

[much-obliged-timothy]

Dad Tim & Uncle Rhys Part 6

I have been incredibly stressed out lately and writing soft things helps, so expect more of these. Also, my inbox is always open for requests! You can find part one of this here. I might do a master post for these shorts soon just to keep them organized and easy to find in order! 

The door to Rhys’ office opened. He looked up, having expected Tim for a morning meeting to go over some reports. What he didn’t expect was for Tim to come in basically dragging Phoenix with him.

Rhys had never seen the two have a serious argument before. Phoenix tended to worship his father, clinging to him affectionately most of the time. Plus, he seemed to be a pretty quiet kid for the most part, not argumentative or aggressive.

But today, he glared at Tim with a fierce expression, mouth twisted in a snarl. Tim looked just as mad, though he didn’t look down at Phoenix as he gripped his hand and pulled him along.

“Lemme go!” Phoenix said, trying to yank his hand away.

Tim didn’t obey. Instead, he pulled Phoenix to a stop and crouched in front of him, pointing a stern finger in his face.

“Not another word out of you until this meeting is over,” he said, voice low and angry. “Not one damn word, Phoenix. You’re going to sit where you usually do and- I don’t know, play or read or something.”

“I dunno how to read!” He was trying to yank his hand free again.

“Then look at the pictures or draw or something! Just sit down and be quiet!” Tim said. “I worked for Handsome Jack so I’d like to think I’m a patient man, but you are on my last freakin’ nerve and it’s only the morning, kid. Go sit.”

Phoenix finally had his hand free. He balled up his little fists, glaring hard at Tim.

“Hit me and I’m making you stay home tomorrow while I go to work,” Tim warned.

Phoenix’s face paled a little. He slowly unclenched his fists and instead stomped his way over to the corner he usually played in, dropping down with his tattered Hyperion bear and glaring at the wall.

“Uh- rough morning?” Rhys said.

“From the damn minute I woke up he was in a bad mood and fighting with me,” Tim said, sitting down and rubbing his temples. “Kinda made me see why Jack locked his kid up far away from himself.”

“Tim!” Rhys said. “That’s horrible!”

“Yea, I know.” Tim sighed. “Sorry, sorry. He doesn’t usually get like this so I’m, uh, not great at the whole discipline thing. Took everything in me not to call his mother and beg her to come, I dunno, put him in time out or something. It doesn’t help that every time I get mad, I sound exactly like Jack did when he’d threaten me and I freaking scare myself.” 

Rhys couldn’t argue with that. Tim scared the hell out of him when he got angry during meetings, the Jack tone slipping out. 

“Can we just- work?” Tim said. “I’m going to die of a stress induced stroke at this rate. I need to focus on something other than my moody kid.”

“Right, work. I can do work,” Rhys said, hastily pulling out the reports.

They began to sort through them, trying to organize them by urgency. Rhys frowned as he shifted through them.

“Dammit, that financial report on the parts we ordered is gone,” he said.

“I’ll grab it,” Tim said, getting up. “They probably forgot to drop it off again. They always do.”

Phoenix’s head snapped up as Tim headed for the door. He started to rise, but Tim shot him a look.

“Oh, no. You don’t get to be a little asshole to me all day and then act like you want to be around me. You stay right there and don’t cause any trouble,” Tim said, yanking the door open and leaving the office.

Phoenix sat down, tears pooling in his eyes. Rhys felt alarmed at the sight.

“Is he gonna come back?” Phoenix asked, his voice cracking.

“Of course he is!” Rhys assured hurriedly. “He just went to grab something.”

“He’s not gonna leave me?” Phoenix said, hugging his bear tightly. 

“No. He better not,” Rhys said. A tear leaked down Phoenix’s cheek. “That was a joke! No, no, he’s not leaving you. He’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“I yelled at him,” Phoenix said, holding the bear up so he could bury his face against it. “What if he doesn’t come back? What if he doesn’t like me no more?”

“A-Anymore,” Rhys said awkwardly. “Not, um, not ‘no more’. Right, bad time for this. Oh, boy, I wish I offered to go grab that report instead.” He cleared his throat. “Tim is coming back, Phoenix.”

Phoenix lifted his head, but only to watch the door. He got up, pacing more anxiously than usual.

When Tim finally did return, Phoenix stiffened, getting defensive instead of looking relieved. Tim only glanced at him before dropping the report on the desk and sitting back down.

“You didn’t say how long you were gonna go for,” Phoenix accused. 

“Didn’t think you’d care,” Tim said. “You’ve hated me all morning. Figured you’d be glad for the break.”

Phoenix snatched a book off the shelf he was by, throwing it at Tim’s head as hard as he could. “Stupid asshole!” 

The book struck Tim and he let out a hiss, though Rhys couldn’t tell if the noise was in surprise or pain. He stood up, whipping around.

“You little-” he snarled.

Phoenix scrambled back into the corner, trembling. Tim turned away from him, raking his hands through his hair and grinding his teeth together.

“I am not going to hurt you,” he said, his voice tense. “I will never hurt you. But I’m going to leave this room before I say something I regret, I am going to get the strongest coffee I can fucking find, and I am going to take my time coming back while I think of some way to punish you for doing that.”

He moved for the door. Phoenix, still trembling, pushed himself away from the corner, eyes wide as he reached out a hand.

“Dad!” he said.

Tim shut the door. 

Phoenix sat down, hugging his knees to his chest and pressing his face against them as he began to cry. He always cried silently, never the loud sobs of other kids Rhys had been around.

“He’s not comin’ back!” Phoenix managed around his silent sobs. “He’s gonna leave me here!”

Rhys wondered when his office had become the home of Lawrence family drama. He bit his lip, but he felt bad seeing the kid cry so hard. 

“He’s coming back. You did throw a book at his head. He’s just mad,” Rhys said.

“He was gone!” Phoenix said, picking his head up and wiping at his eyes. Rhys struggled to understand him, his voice choked with tears. “I woke up and he was gone and- and- I thought he wasn’t comin’ back and-”

“Alright, slow down,” Rhys said, turning his chair to face Phoenix and leaning forward. “What do you mean he was gone?”

“Last night!” Phoenix said. “I woke up and he was gone. I had a bad dream and he wasn’t there!” 

Rhys knew Phoenix slept in Tim’s bed, his separation anxiety too severe to spend a night away from Tim. As far as Rhys knew, Phoenix tended to follow Tim wherever he went, even at home. 

“Did he...come back?” Rhys said.

Phoenix nodded, wiping at his eyes. “But not for a long time.”

“Well, he’ll come back now, too. And if he doesn’t come back in twenty minutes, we’ll go look for him,” Rhys said, more because he didn’t know what to do with a distraught child. 

Phoenix was crying again, putting his face back against his knees. Oh, jeez, the kid really thought his dad had just abandoned him for good.

“Phoenix,” Rhys said, getting up and crouching next to him. “Tim’s coming back.”

Phoenix slowly lifted his head. His eyes were big and scared, that sliver of blue standing out more than usual. 

Rhys sighed heavily and opened his arms. “Alright, alright. But just this once.”

Phoenix sniffled and reached a hand out to Rhys, giving him a one-armed hug. He pressed his face into Rhys’ shoulder as Rhys hugged him back.

Rhys sat next to him for a while until Tim finally came back. Phoenix shrank back as Tim entered the room, coffee in hand.

“I decided that- Well, no, I didn’t decide, I actually called your mom, but- Whatever, you have to weed the garden when we get home. She thinks it’ll help you let out your anger and punish you at the same time. And if you throw another damn book at my head, I’m taking away all your books at home,” Tim said, setting his coffee on the desk.

“You have a garden?” Rhys said, then shook his head. Not the point here. “Tim, he said he woke up and you were gone.”

“Huh?” Tim said. “When? You were up before me this morning.”

Phoenix averted his eyes. “Last night. I woke up and you were gone for a really long time.”

Tim furrowed his brow before understanding lit his face. “I didn’t leave you, Phoenix. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I went downstairs to get some work done until I was tired. I was just trying not to wake you up.”

“I had a bad dream,” Phoenix whispered, eyes watering. “Pretty Boy killed you. And I woke up and you weren’t there!”

“Pretty Boy?” Rhys said in confusion.

Tim scrubbed a hand down his face. “The fucker who cost me my hand. He spent a long time hunting me down, and he finally caught me.” 

Tim came over to them. Phoenix shrank back as Tim crouched in front of him.

“So you dreamed I was killed, and then you woke up and you couldn’t find me,” he said slowly. He closed his eyes, muttered “Shit”, and opened them. “And when I left and didn’t tell you when I’d come back, it scared you, didn’t it? That's why you got mad at me.”

“It- There was too much and I-” Phoenix began to cry again, closing his eyes as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Yea, I know, I know,” Tim said, reaching out and putting a hand on Phoenix’s shoulder. When Phoenix didn’t flinch away, he pulled the boy into his lap and rocked with him. “I know. It’s okay. It’s called being overwhelmed. I feel it too sometimes.”

“Please don’t hate me, daddy,” Phoenix whimpered.

Tim looked torn. Rhys had never heard Phoenix call his parents mommy or daddy before, and apparently Tim wasn’t used to it either. It made Phoenix seem that much younger, clutching his father and crying into his chest.

“I could never hate you. I hate that you threw a book at my head, and if you ever do that again you’ll spend the rest of your life pulling weeds from the garden. But I could never hate you,” Tim said, hugging him tightly and kissing his head. “You got overwhelmed. It happens. You need to tell me when you’re...when it’s too much. Okay? You need to tell me. Then we can avoid all this.”

“Um…” Rhys knew he shouldn’t, but he felt it needed to be pointed out. “You weren’t exactly being mature, either.”

“Hey! I-” Tim groaned. “Yea, no, I wasn’t. That’s on me. Still getting used to being a parent with responsibilities. I’m sorry I was an asshole, Phoenix.”

Phoenix gripped Tim’s shoulder and pulled himself up to kiss the side of Tim’s head, where the book had hit. “Sorry I threw a book at your head. Do you hate me?”

“I just said I didn’t, and I never will,” Tim said, pulling him back down. “Hey, it’s really just karma. I used to drive my mom crazy when I was your age. I’d do some stupid kid thing, she’d yell at me, I’d cry, and she’d apologize later and say she was trying her best. I get it now.”

Phoenix wiped at his eyes and rested his head on Tim’s chest, gripping his shirt again. “You can’t die, dad. Ever.”

“I don’t know about ‘ever’, but I’m doing my best, pal,” Tim said, running a hand through Phoenix’s messy hair. “Pretty Boy’s dead, and good riddance to the bastard. You don’t have to be afraid of him hurting me anymore.”

Phoenix reached out, taking Tim’s cybernetic hand. His eyes watered again, even as Tim curled his fake fingers over Phoenix’s hand.

“He, ah, he saw me while they were treating me after I lost my hand,” Tim explained to Rhys. “I had to cut it off to save the casino and everyone on it from an emergency protocol. When the adrenaline wore off I didn’t...really handle it as well as I probably could’ve. In my defense, it hurt like a bitch, and I was at imminent risk of infection.”

Rhys waved his own cybernetic arm. “Not quite the same circumstances, but I get it.”

“Rhys? Thank you,” Tim said quietly, hugging Phoenix tighter to himself. “I’m not exactly great at this. If you hadn’t talked to him, I probably would’ve kept being an asshole and making it worse. I should’ve thought to talk to him, but he was so combative this morning that I just gave up on that and went right to being a dick to my own kid.”

“O-Oh, it was nothing,” Rhys said. “You know, I’m just, um, I’m just used to mediating during meetings and stuff.”

Tim smiled at him, small and genuine. “Sure, Rhys. Thanks for caring about him.”

He stood up with Phoenix in his arms, kissing him again. Rhys got up and awkwardly pat Phoenix on the back.

“You look tired. Want to take a nap on the chair there while we do our work?” Tim said.

“Can I…” Phoenix trailed off and clung tighter to Tim.

“Sure,” Tim said, smiling at him. “I do love to have my boy with me.”

Phoenix’s expression brightened, and he threw his arms around Tim’s neck. “I love you, dad. I won’t throw books at you no more. Anymore.” He peeked at Rhys.

Rhys laughed. “Yea. No throwing books anymore.” 

“I’m glad to hear it, and so is my headache,” Tim said, sitting down and rubbing Phoenix’s back with one hand, lifting a report with his free one.

Phoenix fell asleep, nestled against Tim’s chest. Rhys couldn’t help but smile a little at the two of them, proud he could help reconcile them, and a little panicked at how close to them he’d grown.

But as Tim laughed quietly at poor wording in a report, trying not to jostle Phoenix too much, Rhys shook that panic from himself. Maybe getting dragged into the Lawrence family wasn’t so bad, especially when he could help these two traumatized people be a little happier in the world and with each other.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#34)

And we continue with 5x11, the stage is set for quite a playoff episode, and i am HERE FOR IT.

my reactions / recap / flailing under the cut

Omg there are “welcome home Tim” signs up?? Poor Luke is jealous of Becky and Tim talking.

Damn, Tim definitely seems fucked up from prison from just that convo with Becky about the Landing Strip alone. Tortured boy.

Aw, we love to see excited Eric with a bunch of excited East Dillon Lions in the locker room after a winning playoff game!

Anddddd here come the budget cuts to burst the bubble. “Anyone need a donut? Some of you won’t have a job next semester.” Damn worst he’s seen it in 27 years? “Anyway, uh...pray.” Damn.

“Where’s the union in all of this, you know?” damn, they have a union at this Texas school? That’s good, but it seems like a weak one, which i’m not surprised about because, again...Texas.

OOOOH Tami’s getting recruited to a Philly college and they’ll fly her out to interview her?

LOL the dudes are yelling “state, state, state!” jumping up and down in their front yard? “Get out of my front yard, you’re making me look bad!” this is so wholesome.

Oh jesus poor Vince, his dad is trying to bring alcohol home when his mom is a recovering addict? What a selfish fuck! “I just don’t know.” OK BYE.

Ahhh Smash Williams is on the TV, playing football in a professional game while Tim Riggins works at Buddy’s bar...this show is just *chef’s kiss*

Oh he sounds so sad and “meh” as Buddy tries to make small talk about Smash’s success. Oh my poor Tim.

OH Jess noooo you taped another team in the division? The fear and drive in her eyes as she nervously tells a very stressed Eric she wants to be a coach herself...I love that.

REALLY? One of the coaches had to do the laughing and “you’ll never be a football coach.” “What, because I’m a girl?” “I didn’t say that.” “Yeah, you did.”

OMG I’m dying, the subtitles while Luke and Becky make out on the coach say SMOOCHING. Adorable!

“Don’t stop for me.” Wow, growth for Becky that Tim is the one walking in on her relationship now. “Use protection this time.” MUST YOU TIM?

Oh shit, football is “revenue neutral.” Truly wild that Tami, Eric, and Levi are having a convo about the whole program possibly being cut while the team loudly celebrates making it to the quarter finals all around them! The visuals in this show are superb.

The sound of “all the way to state, all the way to state, all the way to state!” in the background as the camera focuses on Tami and Eric, watching over everything with sighs on their faces. They carry so much for this town and this team.

Oh shit it’s Bryn Mawr she wants to interview at? And omg they want to interview on the Friday of the semi-final. It’s all happening!

Oh yes some high-stress practice in the pouring rain while Eric has budget cuts and Tami’s interview on his mind!

Okay i get you’re stressed Eric, but calling Jess a “pest” for showing you an article of a female football coach is not it! Although it is WILD Jess took a physical newspaper clipping out to show Eric in the pouring rain. I love her.

Yes, Billy, you are def on the chopping block with these budget cuts. But LOL at him making fun of that dude who repeats everything everyone else said

Tim is so much quieter and more stoic. It tracks. Billy, are you really surprised he doesn’t want to relive his former glory days rn? (Although i have a lil feeling Tim will show up at this game at the last minute!)

Oh shit they’re on Billy’s front lawn now? This is so cute, the parallel moments of “wait a minute, I hear something” and coming outside to find this team with so much heart!

Oh wow they are getting BOOED at this away game. You know they’re good now!

“You never saw so many people so quiet.” I love Vince and his mom’s relationship so much, my heart.

Oh god is daddy all drunk kissing up on his wife who is SOBER? Sir, what do you not understand about sobriety?

Oop and he’s got “gifts.” What shit is he back into?

Wow, hands on the mom and he’s clearly dropped the drugs he’s flipping. There it is.

Yes to the BBQ people asking if the MOM is alright and kicking the dad’s sorry ass out. That’s how we do it.

I really love the way they’re transitioning through this period of playoffs—the locker room updates to their progress with the radio in the background, the chants after each win — then making way for Eric dropping Tami off at the airport. Semifinals are here.

“The time when I need you the most?” “You really gonna bring this up now, on the way to the airport?” Tami’s right, she’s been nothing but straightforward all along! Tami supports you, Eric, let her have her fucking moment.

“Well, you’re kicking my ass.” “Yes, that’s right. Your ass needs some kicking.” “Who’s going to cook dinner for me?” “Oh, poor baby. Gracie.” LMAOOOO yes Tami! Get him! I’m dying.

Okay, Eric, you are forgiven—he looked up the female football coach to talk to Jess about but got the last name wrong!

“14,000 high school football coaches in the country, and that’s one. One out of 14,000. You like those odds?” “No, I think they kind of stink.” “So do I.” Awwww.

“I’m not asking to play.” YES JESS! I love the growth she’s shown over her two seasons. Now she knows what she wants! And her persistence is paying off—Eric’s gonna let her shadow him?! My heart!

Damn Tim is VERY bothered by Becky working at the family business (The Landing Strip.)

Oh God what i feel like Tim sees in “one of Becky’s regular customers” is someone he has an excuse to let out his aggression on. He’s clearly just so fucked up by his life not being what he wanted it to be—and by even the life of those he loved and left behind on the outside not being what he wants for them.

“She’s 17 years old!!!! A high school junior!” I mean, FAIR. Fair fucking point.

Oh fuck this emotional scene between Tim and Billy in the parking lot...DAMN that was a hard punch in the face Tim just gave Billy.

WOW Tim is gonna hold onto taking the fall for Billy for a long time. Fuck. “For the rest of my life, if that’s how I feel it needs to be.”

Billy looks so fucking sad on his knees in the parking lot.

Regina changed the locks! Yes gurl, do not let that man back into your home!

He’s trying to break down the door...oh honey, no. “You’re blowing it, Pop!” I’m so proud of Regina for standing up for herself and Vince.

The visual of Luke riding up next to Tim’s car, and then driving past Becky and Tim fighting, as they pause to watch him go...ART. Also, why is Tim so resolutely like “I got to go. I got to go.” Intrigued.

“There’s only gonna be one football team in Dillon next year.” “Well, which program are they cutting?” “That’s next week’s fight.” DAMN. So much is happening in one night!

Yep, Eric just summed it up to that reporter: “One of those teams is going to state. And i don’t think you’re gonna eliminate a team that goes to state.” They’re fighting for the very existence of their team AND the state championship in one! This show!

Oh wow Luke does NOT want to hear Becky’s apology. Oh nooo!

Aw Regina and Vince communicating about how she needs to “take a meeting” so she can’t come to the game and him saying that’s more important...again, the growth! My heart!

OH they made up Braemore? Really sounded like Bryn Mawr LOL. Go Tami!!!

(These white dudes do not want to hear a woman saying they should rethink their approach. STOP YELLING AT HER, SHE’S RIGHT.)

Oh Mindy, crying at Tim not to go, about how much Billy cries at night, how much they both love Tim. IM EMOTIONAL

“You’re different, you know that?” “Yeah. I am.” ABOLISH PRISONS.

DAMN this semi final game is a NAILBITER

They did it at the last minute, YES!!! Nothing beats the excitement on the team’s faces as they embrace!

Damn Tim returning to his old trailer? Drinking beers alone and doing very not well as he listens to the radio static. Sigh, poor angsty boy.

Aw the woman who interviewed Tami is so kind. Telling her she did well at dinner.

I literally gasped then went AHHH! when the college dude came to dinner and Tami’s all politely like “thanks for the opportunity!” And the guy’s like, “yeah yeah i have two kids to put to bed, anyway we’re offering you that old asshole’s job.” “Dean of Admissions???” YES QUEEN

Damn Eric and Tami are BOTH killing the game, what a fucking power couple.

Eric has the whiteboard on the bus to accompany this “we’re going to state” chant. Amazing.

“We missed the field house.” “We’re not going to the field house.” OMG all their fans are waiting outside to cheer for them as they return?? How beautiful!

Oh my poor babe Vince, all he wants is to know his mom is safe.

YES he found his mom! My heart dropped when Vince’s face betrayed some fear he couldn’t find her. I’m so glad they can celebrate together, oh my heart.

And then you see Eric looking around for Tami, lost because she’s across the country contemplating a life-changing job offer...WOW. Two episodes left and the deck is truly STACKED. This show is art.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

You can do better than that; Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x reader

*Author’s note*

Alrighty my dears, this one was a bit of a challenge because apparently I don’t do well with ‘play hard to get’ so I apologize in advance if some of the dialogue or writing is too cringy but I tried my best cause I got too deep into this fic. So I hope to the anon who wanted this request ends up happy with the result and I thank you for being sooo patient with me :) Not really any big warnings just swearing, mentions of being played, but there’s mostly fluff.

_______________________________________________________

*March 1st, 1971*

It wasn’t easy but I managed it.  Making the big jump from moving out of my home country of America to here in England was tough and of course the homesickness hit after the first couple of weeks but somehow I managed.  I knew I needed to be here in Britain because it had so much more potential for me than America ever did.

That is of course when my noisy neighbor isn’t banging away at what sounds like a drumkit at the early stages of the night.  I never really got to meet them because for the past several weeks, I’ve been trying to get interviews for some record companies so that one day I can become the first ever female record producer since I’ve had an ear for talent. But until then I’m stuck with two jobs in order to pay the bills, by day I work as a waitress at a nearby restaurant then twice a week by nightfall I work at a local bar—or I guess I should call it a pub since that’s what they call it here in England, as a bartender near the University.

I had just gotten in from a seriously long shift at the restaurant since one of my coworkers thought I would be the perfect candidate for covering for him while he takes his girlfriend out on holiday for their anniversary or some shit. So 12 long hours instead of my usual 9hr has made me not only exhausted but irritated and hangry.

After finding me some cookies to chow down on, I collapsed onto my bed, not even bothering changing out of my uniform and tried to sleep.  Just when I thought I could finally fall into a deep sleep; my noisy neighbor once again began banging on those blasted drums.

“That’s it! I can’t take this anymore!” I got out of my bed and left my apartment and went over next door.  I banged on the door to give this guy a piece of my mind.  Because for the past few days they would be drumming till the but crack of dawn which made it impossible for me to try and go to sleep, especially when I would have a double shift to work at.  I banged my fist to the door and cried out, “Hey! Open this damn door right now!! I’ve got just a couple things to say to you yah bastard!!”

The door opened and standing there was a cute—okay handsome man around my age maybe a year or two older with long blonde hair that went past his shoulders, and he had the bluest blue eyes.

*Roger’s POV*

I was practicing my solo for Brian’s new song ‘Keep yourself alive’. I’ve been trying to perfect this solo for weeks now and just the other day I managed to get the solo to the point where I was happy with it.  After practicing it a few times around, I knew the crowd was going to like this.

But as I was practicing, I heard several hard knocks at my door and I heard a female voice say.

“Hey! Open this damn door right now!! I’ve got just a couple things to say to you yah bastard!!” I set my drumsticks down and hurried over to the door and opened it. But I was shocked to see that such a beautiful woman was standing before me.  Her long (h/c) hair gently waved past her shoulders, she wore a waitress uniform that looked like she worked at “Bill’s coffee shop”.

It then also occurred to me that she also served as a bartender at the pub where my band plays.  I’ve always admired her from a far but never once got the balls to go over and say hello, well now it looks like I get the chance to do it now.

*My POV*

As I kept staring at this guy, it suddenly hit me that he was the drummer for that band that performs at the pub I work at.  I think their name was Smile?

“May I help you?” I snapped out of my daze and said.

“Yes I would like to file a complaint.”

“Ahh I see, and what may I ask is the complaint in regard to?” he said with a grin as he leaned against the door.

“The noise. You do realize it’s 12:30 in the morning and some of us are trying to sleep.”

“My apologizes love.”

“Listen buddy. It’s late, I’m tired and all I want to do is fall asleep. So can you please try to keep the noise down. I don’t want to come back here and argue at this point.”

“I’ll try. Though I hope you don’t mind me asking, you’re not from around here are you?” he asked me.

“No I moved here a few weeks ago from America.”

“Ahh an American girl.”

“Yeah now I got to get back to sleep so can we please put this discussion to an end?” I snapped not wanting to get into a discussion about this when I had to be up by 6am for my 7:30 shift tomorrow.

“Alright love, I promise I’ll keep it down.”

“Thank you.” I then headed back into my apartment and fell right back asleep.

*Roger’s POV*

As I watched the cute girl go back into her apartment, I knew that now I had to talk to her at my next gig.  Maybe I would suede her to go on a date with me.

*My POV*

A few days later it was now my double shift at the bar.  I was getting drinks for people when the band soon came up and following the curly-haired guitarist was my noisy neighbor.

“Hello everybody, we’ve got—we’ve got a few fresh faces here. This is John Deacon our new bass player. And our new lead singer Freddie Buls-Bulsara. Freddie Bulsara.” I then took notice of the long haired bass player and the new lead singer who didn’t look like he was from Britain, he looked Middle eastern, maybe from India or something.  But there was just something about him that looked right about him.

“That’s right.” The lead singer nodded.

“And of course Roger, biggest member of them all.” The guitarist spoke into the mic and I could hear a girl cry out.

“Hi Roger!” Some of the students cheered and that’s when Freddie spoke into the mic.

“Hello, all you beautiful people.” Of course one asshole had to be a racist as he cried out.

“Where’s Tim!? Who’s the Pakkie?” I rolled my eyes.  See it was people like this that made me leave America, especially when you live in the Southern states, it was even worse.  Some of the crowd agreed with the guy and that’s when the band began playing their set.

Freddie seemed to struggle with the microphone stand and I cringed as it made that horrible feedback sound.  I hide my face for him until he finally just broke the mic off of it’s stand and the song began.  I’ll admit hearing them all play together and Freddie’s voice, it was—unlike anything I’ve ever heard from any band.  I bopped my head along to the song and kept my eyes on a certain drummer, without having him notice of course as I kept serving the drinks.

The band kept playing for about another hour or so, and I’ll also say that Freddie the new lead singer has made everyone in the room feel important, it was like he was reaching out to everyone in the audience, no matter who they were and made them feel important, even I felt that pull and would sometimes drift away from the bar and just stand amongst the crowd (which didn’t make my boss happy).

After the show I was cleaning up the bar when I heard a familiar voice say.

“So what did you think?” I stopped mid-cleaning and turned to see my neighbor leaning against the counter and I said.

“The band or are you just asking about you?”

“A little bit of both.” He smiled as he leaned further in towards me. “I saw you watching me.”

“How do you know I wasn’t looking at your lead singer?”

“Please love, if you were you’re head would’ve been moving around too much, you stayed standard right on me.” I rolled my eyes and said.

“You have quite an imagination.”

“Only when it involves you.” He said. Okay I get what he’s doing. He’s trying to smooth talk me, charm me and woo me till he gets his way with me.  I grinned and leaned towards him and said.

“You know what?”

“What?” he said as he leaned closer towards me.  I decided to toy with him a bit placing my hand on his bicep which was pretty buffed probably from years of drumming but I tossed the thought out of my head as I continued.

“You should come back later when you’ve learned a better pickup line.” His grin vanished as he looked like a kicked puppy as I leaned away from her and continued my work.

“So southern girls have a more fight to them, I like that in a woman. I find respect in that.” He said as he came around toward me.

“I hope you’re not trying to insult me.”

“Not at all, just making conversation. How long have you been here in London?”

“A couple weeks now. I only just started working here last week.”

“Does my southern bell have a name?” I looked up at him and he just looked at me with a gentle tilt of his head, like a golden retriever puppy.

“Why so keen on knowing my name?”

“I just figured since we’re neighbors and all, and since I was so rude as to not notice it before and not give you a proper British welcome, I would like to know the name of the cute neighbor next door.” I tried to hide my blush as I said.

“(Y/n) (l/n).”

“That’s a beautiful name, I’m Roger. Roger Taylor.” He said as he extended his hand out for me to take.  Even though I was playing hard to get, it’d be rude if I denied a handshake so I took his hand, but instead of a handshake, Roger kissed my knuckles and I swore I felt my heart skip a beat, but of course I wasn’t going to tell him that.

A couple years went by and in 1973, I finally heard back from EMI about a position for their company, however the downside was that I was nothing more than a secretary to the main producer Ray Foster.  So that meant just organizing papers, getting the coffee, boring stuff, never really get to touch anything music related, unless its passing him the records.

I was currently going through some papers at the front desk outside Ray’s office when I got buzzed in and the boss’s voice soon spoke up.

“(L/n), John’s bringing in my new signing band coming in today, make sure they’re all present before bringing them up to my office.”

“Right away sir, I’ll send them up once they’ve arrived.” I got up from my desk and walked towards the elevator and pressed the down button.

“Hold the elevator!” I held it and in walked in my good friend Mikaela.  Now as I’ve stated before, I despised racism so when most of the people at EMI mostly the men never gave Mikaela the light of day, I decided to reach out my hand in friendship.  

Since we’re both women in the workforce we might as well stick together.

“Thank you (y/n).”

“Anytime Mimi, so what have you got to do.”

“Gotta get these checks mailed out, how about you?”

“Boss man wants me to bring up a new band that EMI has signed up with.”

“Any idea who they are?”

“No idea, but they must be good if Ray signs them up, or if they come straight from John Reid himself.”

“Really?” I nodded as I hummed.  Soon the elevator dinged as we reached the ground floor and as we walked out she said, “So we still on for our Happy hour?”

“Absolutely. After the week I’ve been having, I deserve a few drinks.”

“Alright, see you Thursday night.”

“Will do, pick you up at 7?” She nodded and then we went our separate ways.  As I walked along the lobby I saw John Reid sitting at the lobby with a group of familiar boys.  “Oh god, tell me this isn’t happening.” I muttered to myself.

Because amongst those boys was none other than Roger.  Ever since the pub performance all those years ago, every day whenever he could whether it was at the pub or even when we would pass each other in the lobby or the hallway, he’d try to flirt with me trying to make me swoon like every other girl he’s screwed around with.

Of course every chance I turned down all his pickups and advances and now it seems like I’ll never escape from him.  But not wanting to risk getting fired for keeping Mr. Foster waiting, I sucked it up and approached Mr. Reid.

“Mr. Reid.”  He turned to look at me and I said, “I’m (y/n) (l/n). Mr. Foster’s assistant I was sent down to collect you and the band.”

“Ahh yes Miss (y/n).” He stood up from the chair and the two of us shook hands with each other.  “Pleasure to meet you, I’d like to introduce you to Queen, EMI’s new signup.” I waved to the boys and that’s when Freddie spoke up.

“Wait, weren’t you a bartender at the pub near the University?”

“Yeah I was.”

“Oh darling you have got some explaining to do because this boy would not shut up when you had left the pub! Could not get him to stop talking about you.” Freddie spoke as he pointed to Roger.

“It was sickening.” Piped in John Deacon.

“Bugger off the lot of you.” Roger muttered.

“Alright enough you four, now then let’s not keep Ray waiting any longer, we’re ready to meet him when you are Miss (l/n).”

“Right this way gentlemen.”  As we headed toward the elevator, my attention turned to Roger.

So he’s been talking about me huh? Never did I think he’d still be on me even to his bandmates.  He’s definitely persistent I’ll give him that, but at this point I’m just not looking for a relationship at the moment.

Once we reached Mr. Foster’s office, he allowed me to come in saying that it was important that I stay for one big announcement that involved me.  At first I thought it would have to do something of a promotion, like finally being able to work the controls of the booth but instead I got the news that I would be Queen’s assistant, which meant I had to check in on them day to day along with some guy named Paul Prenter.

My heart dropped but I swear I thought I saw Roger’s face perk up as he turned toward me.

“Sir are—are you sure I’m capable of doing something like this? I mean surely Queen doesn’t need two assistance……”

“I think it would be a wonderful idea.” Exclaimed Freddie.

“I surely wouldn’t mind it.” Brian soon spoke up.

“It’d be nice to have better company than these lot all the time.” John Deacon spoke up.

“In fact—she can be my personal assistant.” Roger piped in.  Oh hell no.

“Seems the band agrees. You start tomorrow Miss (l/n).” John Reid said.  Internally I was deflated more than anything of what I was hearing but I knew better than to cause a scene as I said.

“Can’t wait.” But it was spoken with a hint of sarcasm.

A few months go by and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t half bad being with the boys. I got to know them as they truly were and they were a bunch of really cool guys.  John or as I’ve been allowed to call him, Deacy with his knowledge of electrical engineering, Brian’s love for astrophysics as well as animal rights especially for badgers, hedgehogs and foxes, Freddie I envy him because he’s given me such beautiful sketches and I wish I could draw half as good as he can.

And of course there’s Roger.  Who continues to try and flirt with me but thanks to Deacy and Brian I can get back at him due to his major of being a dentist.  But I’ll admit one thing, Roger does have his moments when he’s not trying to be Casanova like this one time when I was helping the boys get ready to preform on Top the Pops for their newest hit song ‘Killer Queen.’

I was with Deacy adjusting his jacket.  Once I saw it was good enough I said.

“Alright, you’re all set.”

“Thanks (y/n), we’d be lost without you.”

“Oh stop it. Save that for Veronica.” Besides Fred, Deacy’s opened up more to me when it comes to relationship and lately he’s been seeing this girl named Veronica and I’ve wanted to hear every single detail of how they met and how each date has gone.  Sometimes I even give him advice on how to act around her since poor baby he’s so terrible shy when it comes to dating, especially since he’s told me he really, really likes her.

“Sometimes I wish I hadn’t told you about her.”

“Oh come on then who would you go to for advice?”

“Touché, you make a good point.”

“Listen chaps it is going to be playback. Lip-sync is all that is required.” One of the BBC producers spoke up.

“We do know how to play our instruments.” Roger spoke up.

“You want me to lip-sync?” Freddie spoke up as he got in the producer’s face which made him back up just a bit but still hold his ground.

“I just don’t understand why we simply can’t perform live?” asked Brian.

“The audience will never know the difference.”

“We’ll know the bloody difference.”

“This is the BBC that’s how things are done around here. Don’t be a nuisance.” He then walked away.

“Well then you lads will have to make sure no one can tell if you’re faking it.”

“The way things are done here. We’re bolly old chap.” Roger mocked the producer as Brian then mocked out in a posh, snotty tone.

“This is the BBC.”

“I’m relieved.” Deacy spoke up.

“Yeah you would be.” Brian muttered.

“Like perfect performance.”

“Oi (y/n) if you’re done playing groupie get off the stage, they’re about to start filming!” Paul cried out.  I turned towards him almost about to snap back a retort at him when Roger beat me to it.

“Prenter! You outta look into the mirror and say that to yourself, cause if anyone here is the groupie it’s you yah wanker!” At that comeback I actually laughed softly at the insult he gave to Paul.  He turned his attention toward me and he bragged, “A smile and a laugh. Guess I’m getting close huh?”

“Please Taylor. One chivalrous deed doesn’t suede me to admit anything.”

“But I still managed to get you to smile, I count that as a win.” I rolled my eyes at him and said as I got off the stage.

“Just play your fake drums drummer boy.” And even though it was beyond my control, a light blush came across my face.

Even with it being a ‘fake’ performance, the boys gave it their all and the song became a huge hit, especially in Japan where the boys did their tour there. Then there was the tour of America which the album ‘Sheer Heart Attack’ hit the charts back home.

I told the guys about my hometown and they tried to convince me to let them see my home but I told them that we had too tight a schedule but next time when there was time, I would show them where I grew up.

Now came time for another album to be recorded and after getting the approval from Foster about the new idea that Freddie had for the ‘A Night at the Opera’, we were on our way to a nice secluded recording studio out in Wales by the summer of 1975.

A few days after getting settled in, I was walking along the outside of the fields, having flashbacks of my grandparent’s farm when I heard a piano playing inside the studio.  I walked in and I saw Deacy playing an electric piano and I could hear him softly mutter to himself.

I leaned by the door and kept quiet so that I wouldn’t disturb him as he kept muttering the lyrics and writing them down.  Even though Deacy’s always said he’s not a singer, I can’t help but admire what he was humming and muttering to himself.  I guess he must’ve seen me because next thing he did, he jumped up startled.

“Sorry, but you don’t have to stop on my account.”

“Just how much did you hear?”

“Heard about enough. It’s beautiful Deacy.” I walked inside the studio and sat down beside him and said, “What’s it called?”

“‘You’re my best friend’. I wrote it for Veronica.”

“Awww.” I awed as I placed my hand over my heart.

“But I doubt the lads will want to play it. Not really rock and roll enough for them for what I imagine it to be.”

“Don’t say that. Maybe they will, hell you play this for Fred and he’ll be on your side and make it go on the album.”

“Thanks (y/n).”

“Plus I know that once Veronica hears this, she’ll fall even deeper in love with you.”

“Oh come off it….”

“I’m serious. Sure some people think it’s cliché and maybe corny but to some girls that just proves a guy really cares about a woman. Especially if that guys a talented songwriter like you.” I said as I sat down beside him and playfully shoved his shoulder with mine.

“I just—wanted to do something for her. I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend to her, especially being away from her this long. I just want her to know that I’m always thinking of her.”

“And she will.” I sighed deeply.

“Okay what’s on your mind?”

“What do you mean?”

“No one sighs like that unless there’s something bothering them, so c’mon out with it. You’re always getting me to spill my guts, now it’s your turn missy.” I playfully scowled at him but caved in because I can never say no to Deacy’s adorable face so I said.

“Okay, there’s—actually it’s been going through my head for the past few years now. I mean I don’t know whether it’s this place, being away from the city but I……” my heart raced and my palms felt sweaty as I finally muttered, “I—I think I love Roger.” Deacy remained silent before finally saying.

“About bloody time you said it.”

“What now?”

“(Y/n) no offense love but you’re not as discreet as you think you are. There’s been so much sexual tension between you two that it’s unbelievable about how thick it is.”

“Well I can’t just get up and tell him how I feel?”

“He’s been trying so hard to get with you since day one, even before we met you last year he’d always talk about the cute neighbor next door to him. Why can’t you just put the poor boy out of his misery.”

“There’s…..there’s more to it than that.” I said solemnly as I fiddled with my nails. Deacy’s eyes became concerned and he said.

“He didn’t do anything wrong to you, did he?”

“No it’s just—” I sighed heavily and said as I fully turned to face him, “Okay, you know how I told you guys the reason why I moved to America was because of the problems going on?” he nodded and I said, “Well—what I’m about to tell you, I’ve never told anyone else, so you have to promise me you won’t tell a soul. Not even Veronica.”

“You know you don’t have to tell me,”

“I know but—I’ve been holding it in for so long, and you’re the most trustworthy person I know. So promise me Deacy.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” I sighed deeply and said.

“Okay. Back in college I…..I once knew a guy that was exactly like Roger. He loved to flirt and give out pickup lines. He wasn’t bad looking either, dark brown hair and green eyes. Well, one day during a break in class he came up to me and started flirting with me. And not having a boyfriend before, I—I fell for the pickup lines and the flirtation and soon we started dating.”

“And then he cheated on you?” Deacy asked.  I scoffed out a laugh and said.

“I wish, what happened was way worse.”

“Oh god he—he didn’t……”

“No, no not that worse. Don’t worry Deacy.” He sighed with relief for a brief second before listening once more, “Well we dated for about a year and a half and it was our anniversary so I decided to make him some cookies. I went up to the frat boy house he was in and just before I knocked on the door, I heard him and his friends talking.” I trailed off as tears filled my eyes.

I tried to keep them in as I looked up and laughed out icily as I continued,

“Apparently they were all having a contest to see who could get the biggest loser on campus…..and he won. My picture was plastered everywhere all over campus. He stopped talking to me and turned on me by calling me ‘desperate’ and ‘naïve’ for not seeing it earlier. He never loved me; I was nothing but a joke to him.”

“Oh (y/n).”

“The entire student body was against me. So much so that I had to drop out of college and I had to move here. Because even when I wasn’t in school, the teasing and harassment still happened whenever I was out in public. So I moved here where no one knew who I was.” I felt Deacy wrap his arms around me as he lent his shoulder for me to cry on. “Since then, I’ve vowed to close my heart to any flirting or any guy that would try to hurt me again…..and knowing Roger with his groupies I—”

“I get it. What that bastard did was unforgiveable and I can understand where you’re coming from. But you do know that not all guys are like him, right?”

“Of course I do. You, Bri and Fred are the proof of that. Sometimes Rog is also in there but, I’m just—afraid that, even if I do admit to him my real feelings for him……”

“I know. Sometimes Rog can be—a bit much, but when he sets his mind to something he won’t ever stop. No matter who or what gets in his way. Like remember the day you got the stomach flu?” I nodded recalling when he came over and helped take care of me, “Well you may not have known this, but we were in the middle of recording with Reid checking in on us. He actually fought to try and leave just so he could take care of you.”

“He seriously did that? He—he just told me you guys were rehearsing, not recording.”

“Well we were. He may not seem to want to appear soft on most days, but when it comes to you, he’ll drop anything just to make sure you’re okay.” I softly smiled and wiped away my tears and said as I separated from him.

“Thanks for listening Deacy, you’re the best.”

“I know.” He said with a shrug. Before grinning cheekily and chuckled softly which made me chuckle.

“Now you promise not to say anything to the guys?”

“Say what?” He had this twinkle in his eye that told me that he was only playing and I smiled and thanked him once more before leaving the studio to tell him that I needed to get dinner started if the guys were gonna eat on time before they dove too deep into the recording and they end up missing another meal.

About a week later I was sitting outside on the porch swing looking out into the field. It was a nice cool summer day after all the rain we’ve been having the last three days so it was a nice change of scenery weather wise.

“May I join you?” I turned around and there stood Roger.

“I don’t mind.” He then sat himself down just a couple inches away from me on the swing.

“I’ll admit I at first didn’t like this place but it’s growing on me.”

“That’s the thing with you city boys, you just don’t get it.”

“And what would you know country girl?”

“My grandparents owned a farm down in Arkansas. I used to always visit them every summer and Christmas before they both died.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss (y/n).”

“It’s fine. It was over 10 years ago when they died, but I appreciate it Rog.”  The two of us sat there for awhile softly swinging on the swing until I finally broke the silence, “Hey Roger,” he turned to me and I said, “I—I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Well ever since I moved here, I feel like I haven’t been all that nice to you. And I…..I just want to make sure that you’re not mad or anything.”

“No, no in fact, I wanted to come out here and apologize for some of the things I’ve said to you. It wasn’t right of me to just flirt with you right out of the blue. Also I apologize for keeping you up all night with my drums.”

“That apology I can accept.” We both softly chuckled and I said.

“So do—do you think we can start over?”

“I’d like that. I’m Roger Taylor, nice to meet you new neighbor.” I smiled at him and said as we both shook hands with each other.

“(Y/n) (l/n).” With the hatchet buried and a new bond forged, I thought it was safe to say that Roger and I were now starting a new relationship.

We stayed outside for a good while when I finally turned around to look at him and just like the night we first met, my heart raced at seeing his blonde hair shine like the sun.  It was like if Adonis and an angel had a baby, then Roger Taylor would be the end result of their bond.  As he turned toward me, I quickly looked back out toward the field and I heard him softly laugh.

“I saw that.”

“You’re so full of it Taylor.” The two of us softly laughed and I broke the silence, “But you are right earlier. This view, this place it’s just so beautiful. I’d love to live in a place like this. No noise from the city, perfect view of the sunrise and sunset. And nothing but greenery for miles and miles ahead.”

“You know I’d be willing to buy you a house like that.” I turned to him and we looked at each other.

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“Why not?”

“Well the well earned money is yours, and I’d rather not take what you and the boys have worked so hard to get.”

“And I can do whatever I want with it, and if I want to buy a country house for a dear friend of mine, then I’ll do it.” I smiled softly and said.

“Thanks Rog, I appreciate it.” I then felt his fingertips softly touch mine and I looked straight into his blue eyes and he looked back at mine.

“(Y/n) I—I know I’ve been hounding you for years on the subject, but that’s because I—I’ve never really known how else to talk to a girl. I know you must think of me as some pigheaded flirt but—I just never knew how else to talk to you. So I…..I hope I don’t ruin this newly formed friendship by say that…..I like you. I really, really, really like you (y/n). These past few years with you have just been…..a blessing to me. And—god now I’ve gone and fucked this up hadn’t—”

I stopped his rambling by placing my lips against his.  I felt his right hand go to my waist while his left cupped the side of my face as we deepened the kiss.  I slowly lifted my hand and allowed my fingers to comb through his soft blonde hair, we gave each other a couple more pecks and I said.

“Congrats Taylor, you finally got me the right way.”

“You mean—”

“Truthfully I’ve had a crush on you since the night we met.”

“So I was right?” he teased.

“Now don’t go getting a big head drama queen. I just….Can you promise me something Roger?”

“Anything.”

“I—Can we please just take this one day at a time? Back home there was something that really hurt me, I’d rather not talk about it to you just yet, cause I feel like I won’t be able to be stable as I say it.”

“I won’t pressure you for anything (y/n). We can take this as slow as you want.”

“Also, I know how you are with your hookups with groupies. I—I just need to know that you won’t cheat on me or break my heart.”

“I promise (y/n). The only girl I want hanging around my arm is you. I wouldn’t be this persistent if I didn’t want anything more than a hookup with you.” I leaned my head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me and I felt him kiss the side of my head. “I love you so much (y/n).”

“I love you too Roger.”

[wildchildvdm]

When you lose small mind, you free your life.

26.01 - 05.03

Two months ago.... everything changed since then.

I am sitting in my room while listening to this song with my headphones. I guess you are about to say “Hey girl, are you not too crazy for System of a Down? Look, you even named herself after Serj Tankian!”...

*Sits with crossed legs*

Come on, guys! Are you serious? I guess you don’t know me... But back to the topic I guess I am going back to run this blog, as I said I will run it in Italian when I am talking about my stories but in English when everything is going to be personal. I guess today I will write more...

Between January and today everything got totally changed especially on this day: January 26th. It was a pretty sad day I guess. I was surely happy to going to Gefrierbrand concert with Ninian, Daniel, Chris, Max etc... I thought I could be happy, y’know? Great bands, I really loved Dark Zodiak that day. Simone was a great woman and a truly sweetheart.

At least I had fun on this day, right?... I don’t think so.

I never liked Ninian’s companions. Most of them were really mean to me... But I was blind. For an entire year and seven months, Ninian didn’t treat me good. He was always accusing me, mind abusing me, making me feeling I am always wrong that I cry just for attention, that I exagerate and I am just mentally ill. I was just a dog who walked with an electric collar around the neck. I was just the lioness abused in a punk and junkies circus. I was mentally abused the whole time but at the same time I was blind, I smiled the whole time... Even when left me into the streets in the middle of the night. The streets in the city where I live are very dangerous, especially next to the train station when you can easily be victim of rape, especially as woman. Do y’all think is it right? And I still loved him even if he left me into the streets and letting me walking home alone. I loved him even if he was always insulting me and making me feeling like nothing. Was I maybe such a masochist? O just blind? He never showed interest on what I do, when I do music, when I write my poetries or my stories. 

Back in that night, wherever I walked I always told him where I am going. I finally met Lucio from The Italian Way (Check them out), I met Michi and her husband Matthias, I met the Gefrierbrand with their girlfriends and wives (Yannick is a forever alone). And wherever I went I always told Ninian. I talked to a “friend” of his, of course Gefrierbrand started play and I told him I was going inside to watching the band and I ran inside. During the concert I didn’t saw him. I asked Chris, I asked Daniel, I asked Max... But this last asshole was wasted as fuck. When I saw Ninian I told him that I was worried about him. He told me he cannot do whatever he wants because of my clingy behaviour... Maybe did I something wrong, again? Maybe... But I was just worried. He was pissed off and I started to hurt my arms and bite them having a panic attack. He was pissed off and cold. When the concert ended I helped and I hugged Yannick, he is a friend of mine I guess? But he came to me: “I am going home” “Hey take me with you with auto!” what Ninian told me that night? “There is no place for you in the car. Just walk alone at home.” I was broken when he went away. I just remember Yannick’s shocked face and trust me I still remember his words “You are a sweet and smart woman. You deserve better.” not just him... Even Mrs. Argast (his mother) and Bibi (Tom’s girlfriend). I remember how I cried that night, I almost died during that night.

Before I went away I did a photo with Simone from Dark Zodiak. Here you can see how I felt in that moment: happy that I have at least a photo but in my eyes I was devasted about what Ninian did that night and about what Yannick told me. I asked myself “Is he right about it?” I was awake till 3 AM, listening to the music I love and wiping my tears. I just have to do it.

That morning I broke up. I finally break free from that abusive relationship and told myself that it’s time to really rebirthing and not how I told here a month ago. Yes, Yeva was born... But not at all. I remeber he started to turn himself in the victim trying again to abusing of my mind with words like “Are you no thinking about what I did for you? I bought you everything. I did everything for you... And now you put our love into trash, again?” if I think about this now I laugh my fucking ass off. If you call that love... I call that an abusive relationship.

I passed the other half of january and the first half of february alone. I think that during Valentine’s Day time it just happened a...  miracle? I thought miracle were just on Christmas time. I had some panic attacks on that time sometimes just suicide thoughts (You don’t say, Yeva.) but that week before Valentine’s Day something happened.

I remember I sended too much friend request on my facebook account because of a group of alternative, punks, metalheads, gothic people etc... I forgot to see my friendship list where I found a guy dressed like a ‘80 rockstar. Just like he got out from a Steel Panther’s concert or just came in 2019 with a fucking time maschine like Back to the Future.

*Back to the future intensifies*

Tim. Yes, he is 8 years older than me! We started to chatting, we talked the whole week day and night. We did some videocalls through Skype, he lives just one hour from me, more and less. We decided to go on a date in a resturant here where I live. We already fell in love with each other during that week. I remember when he came home really elegant with 10 roses and red wine. I was surprisedY’know readers, we understand each other really good. He treats me like a queen, he listens to me, he is by my side and he makes me feel sure about everything that I don’t have to be afraid. On those last week I confess I cried, because NOBODY treated me like this. Sometimes I am afraid that I don’t deserve it, that I don’t deserve all this attention and love. I have been at his home last weekend and it felt so good by his side. I love sleeping in his arms, he told me that he cuddled me while I was sleeping for two hours. He caress me and takes my hand everytime, even when we are in the auto.

I met his group of friends: Jessi, Laura, Lilli, Miki, Ronnie, Uwe (an half german and half filipino mad for Tobias Sammet), Domi and the list goes on... They make me feel like home. I felt for a moment like that they will not like me, maybe because of my age. But I felt like home, really like home. I had fun and especially in the middle of the night we had some time for us. I didn’t drink much but I felt alive and I had too much fun with them.

Meeting his family last week was like playing chess. They were really cool with me and his mom likes me. I smile if I think about my boyfriend when he came to the bed and he told me everything his mom told him about me. I felt like home. Is this a new start? At least I can say yes.

We did each other some surprises but he did the biggest one... I remember once we talked about buying things online and he knew about that I have Serj’s book “Cool Gardens” and I had the luck to having it with his autograph but that I miss his second book “Glaring Through Oblivion” I remember when he told me to close my eyes and put the book into my legs. I was surprised and about to cry for a moment. I was surprised about it. I read always before bed while wearing his Immortal t-shirt (2-3 sizes bigger). 

Beside this, knowing what his ex did to him I promised myself to protect him and if here comes the time that his ex comes back surely I will kick her ass. Beside the bitch, I am rebirthing, but still not complete. It misses something...

Getting out from those fascist home. Pull more toxic people who thinks I am stupid or that I don’t know nothing or that I am stupid. Just one more year and if everything is going well (Sure it will) I will born again and telling myself that I am free. But every weekends I am already free while lying in his arms. Because his arms are already my home.

Two crazy months I guess...

My life is going on a good way. I still in my bed listening to the music I love, thinking about the man I love and now I know that world is less bastard. 

And you know what? In a week Goodbye Monsters have their very first gig! I can’t fucking wait.

SUGAR!

Yeva Tankian

[navpike]

cry out what you need to: chapter 4

“Okay, so, you know my partner, Amy Rohrbach? She died, on Sunday. And she had a daughter. She’s five years old and she had no other family and they were going to put her in the system and I just felt so--” “Dick, did you adopt the kid?” “I adopted the kid.”

Or, the one where Dick adopts a child, learns to balance parenting and superheroing, and falls in love, not necessarily in that order.

Chapter Four: so i’ll beat the drums and scream at the sun [on ao3]

Steph stays for dinner Monday night, and drives off on Dick’s motorcycle when they’re done. He gets Rona showered and put to bed, quickly as he can, and retreats to his own room, sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. It’s the first moment he’s had, his mind not addled by exhaustion and concern for Rona, to sit and truly process the past week.

Amy’s dead. She’s gone, and when Dick goes back to work next week, he’ll be assigned a new partner, and life will move forward, even though Dick doesn’t want to. Rona has no mother now, no real parent, and as much as he can be there for her, and as much as he knows Steph, Cass and Babs will provide strong role models for her, Dick doesn’t know how to pick up the rest of the slack. He just started packing away his partner’s life, his closest friend outside of the superhero life, and in another day or two, it’ll be like she never existed at all, nothing left but a memory and a house for sale.

Dick does the only thing he can think to do.

He calls Wally, and he cries.

He cries out what he needs to and tells Wally every concern he has about his sudden parenthood and how worried he is about Rona and his lack of ability to take care of her properly and how he doesn’t know what he’s doing and how he feels like he’s unprepared to go back to work without Amy by his side because she was his friend goddammit. She was more than just a coworker, more than just his partner.

He takes a deep breath when he’s done unloading everything, and lets it out very shakily.

“Sorry. That was a lot.”

“Holy shit, Dick.”

“Sorry.”

“No, shut up, don’t say sorry to me! You’ve been packing that all away ever since Amy died? God, I’m surprised you’ve-- you Bats and your fucking-- Dick. Dude, you’ve got to talk about these things. If you have a kid to worry about, you can’t be worrying about falling apart yourself. God, you worry me sometimes. Just. You gave me the okay to tell the group chat what’s going on with you, and I did. Roy’s obviously no stranger to unusual parenting situations, and the rest of us are more than happy to listen to whatever you’ve got to say. Just talk to us, Dick. You’re not alone. You’ve got us, you’ve got your family, and Babs and Steph. Don’t think you have to be Mr. Strong and Silent. You’re not Bruce.”

It’s kind of like a smack in the face, but it’s just what Dick needs, really. He can always count on Wally for that. Something warm blooms in his chest and he has to actively fight to stamp that far down and way back. Now is not the time for this quasi-crush to be rearing its ugly head.

“I just hate bothering everyone,” Dick tries, but he knows it’s a thin excuse and he knows Wally will call him on it.

“Shut up. Talk to your friend like a normal person. I’m gonna hang up now, and you’re going to text the group chat. If there’s nothing from you in the next ten minutes, I’m going to drop everything and run to Gotham, got it?”

It’s just the right amount of guilt to get Dick to agree. He can imagine the smug look on Wally’s face as he mutters out his assent. Wally hangs up with a laugh after Dick calls him something very unkind, and Dick takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know if he can really handle the full force of all of his friends right now, but he trusts Wally, so he’ll go along with it.

He double checks that Rona is soundly sleeping in her room, steps in and smooths the wrinkle in her forehead with his thumb, and just as his ten minutes is up, he sends a text to the group chat he’s had on mute for the past week.

[from bird boi, 9:32 PM]

hey guys

[from wallington, 9:32 PM]

nice to see you listened to me

[from dad bod, 9:33 PM]

nice of you to let us know youre alive dick

[from mom, 9:33 PM]

I can’t tell if you’re saying his name or insulting him but either way.

Doesn’t matter.

Nice to see you’re not dead.

How’s the little one?

[from bird boi, 9:35 PM]

thanks donna.

she’s asleep right now. sorry i’ve been absent lately, it’s just been kind of a crazy week

[from mom, 9:36 PM]

You’re welcome.

And don’t worry about it. We understand. Just let us know what’s going on with you. Kind of sucks to have to learn you’ve become a father from Wally instead of from you.

Dick winces to himself, where he’s tucked himself into the corner of the couch, wrapped in a blanket. He let Steph tell Tim about Rona, and he let Alfred and Bruce tell Damian, and while it was necessary because he’s been so busy, he feels bad that he couldn’t sit down and have a conversation with either of them, especially Damian. He really kind of wishes that he had waited, let the ten minutes pass so that Wally would have come to Gotham, so that he could just have someone there with him, because feeling bad on his own makes it even worse.

[from bird boi, 9:40 PM]

i’m really sorry.

i’ve been kinda freaking out about all of this and the kid and i had to make funeral plans for amy.

sorry, not an excuse

being a parent is hard

[from dad bod, 9:42 PM]

be less hard on yourself dick, surprise parenthood is rough

just dont be stupid you asshole, tell us whats going on with you every once in a while

also, lians pissed off that she hasnt gotten to meet her favorite uncles kid so you have to deal with that now

[from bird boi, 9:43 PM]

that’s the scariest thing that’s come out of this week

side note: wheres garth in all of this?

[from mom, 9:44 PM]

Garth’s got Atlantis business most of this week, he’s going to be in and out.

But unlike you, Boy Blunder, Garth told us what he was doing so we’d know he was okay.

[from wallington, 9:45 PM]

okay, okay, ease up on dick, hes had a bad week.

[from bird boi, 9:45 PM]

thanks walls.

[from mom, 9:46 PM]

I’m done now.

I’m sorry about your friend Dick. And I’m sorry we haven’t been able to be there for you. Soon as that little girl settles in, you’ve got to let us come visit her. I didn’t think we’d be getting a new niece so soon. I can’t wait to meet her.

[from dad bod, 9:47 PM]

seconded. lian thinks she’s got a new built in best friend

and i’m sorry about your partner too

Dick smiles to himself, clutching the blanket wrapped around his shoulders closer to his chest. There is a deep, aching sadness still weighing heavy in his chest, making his ribs throb with it. Now that he’s thinking about it, that’s likely the month old rib injury he’s just beginning to really get over. But, he’s wallowing for a moment. So he’s going to be dramatic about it.

Sue him.

[from bird boi, 9:49 PM]

thanks guys

i’m going to try to finish clearing out as much of amy’s house tomorrow as i can before rona gets out of school. i did a lot with steph today but it’s harder than i thought it would be

[from dad bod, 9:50 PM]

jesus dick, that’s brutal. i wish i could lend a hand but i promised i’d help ollie with something tomorrow

[from mom, 9:51 PM]

I’m sorry I can’t help either. I’ve got meetings all day tomorrow.

[from bird boi, 9:51 PM]

no guys, don’t worry about it!

[from wallington, 9:52 PM]

shut up and let us worry about you.

youre our friend and we care about you and youre having a really shitty week.

[from dad bod, 9:53 PM]

yeah shut up jackass

[from mom, 9:53 PM]

Hey now.

[from dad bod, 9:54 PM]

sorry mom

point tho: youre not b, dont act like it

[from bird boi, 9:55 PM]

you know, wally told me the same thing.

[from wallington, 9:56 PM]

its the red hair, we all share a brain cell

[from dad bod, 9:59 PM]

i was gnona get mad but jesusnfuck walls i just lost it at that

[from mom, 10:00 PM]

Good lord you lot are like children.

[from wallington, 10:01 PM]

you know it and you love it wonder chick

[from mom, 10:03 PM]

You’re all insufferable and Garth’s my favorite now by default.

[from bird boi, 10:04 PM]

HEY! i haven’t even done anything!

[from mom, 10:05 PM]

Nope, you’re guilty by association because you’re here for all of this, you’re a part of this. Now I’m going to get a good night’s rest for once in my life, no one disturb me unless the world is ending, I have early meetings tomorrow morning, good night, heathens.

Dick turns his phone off with a grin and wraps it in his hands, close against his chest. The profound sadness that Dick had felt crushing through his chest feels a little less crushing now that he’s talked to his friends. They never fail to lift his spirits.

His phone buzzes again and he glances down at it to see a single message from Wally.

[from Walls, 10:10 PM]

good luck tomorrow, dick. we love you buddy. let us know when you think the kiddo can handle some new people and we’ll all come over with lian for dinner. you’ve got this daddy-o.

Dick almost cringes at the terrible nickname, half a wince and half a hysterical grin, and texts back a smiley face. He turns off his phone, and, checking in on Rona one last time, he heads to bed. He’s out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Unfortunately, he only gets a couple hours of sleep before he’s woken up by a tiny body kneeling on the edge of his bed. There’s a moment where he instinctively grabs for a weapon, for something to defend himself, before he pauses, thinking about what might actually be happening. The thought takes a moment to make its way through his sleep addled mind, but it does, and in the span of a few seconds, he goes from searching for some defense to his hand coming to rest on a tiny, trembling wrist.

He looks up, and Rona is kneeling on the edge of the mattress, her eyes shining in the low light filtering in from the small night light in the hallway outside the half open door.

She doesn’t say anything, just sits there, clutching Zitka the stuffed elephant in her other hand, and Dick sits up, gathering her up in his arms immediately.

“Hey, sweetheart, what happened?” he says, the concern evident in his voice. “Did you have a bad dream again, honey?”

She nods miserably, hugging Zitka close to her chest, and burrowing into his arms.

When she doesn’t say anything further, Dick settles down into bed a little further, holding her close. “Come on, you can stay in here with me tonight.” She nods again, her hair tickling the underside of his chin, little flyaways catching in the few days’ old stubble there. “Do you want me to tell you a story?” Another nod. Dick situates himself, half sitting, half lying against the headboard, getting Rona nestled into his side, partially draped across his chest. Her tiny hand curls into the thin material of Dick’s shirt, her face pressing into his side as she tries to stifle a sniffle.

“I miss my mommy,” she says, almost inaudibly.

Dick’s heart cracks.

“Well, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a little boy, and he could fly. He and his family could soar through the air just like birds, and people came from far and wide to watch them put on shows. But then one day, while they were performing at a fair for a prince, the little boy’s parents had an accident. While they were flying around for the show, their wings stopped working, and they fell to the ground.”

“This story is too sad,” Rona sniffs miserably, and Dick holds up a finger, poking her on the nose.

“But it’s going to get happier, just you wait. The little boy didn’t have his parents anymore, and that was terribly, terribly sad, and he thought he would never be happy again, because he missed his mommy and daddy very much. He was all by himself for a little while, until one day, the prince who they had been performing for found the little boy. The prince went up to the little boy, and offered to give him a home. Now, the little boy was worried about going to live with the prince, because the prince couldn’t fly, you see, and the little boy thought that the prince would try to make him live on the ground all the time. He thought the prince would take away his magic, and take away everything that reminded the boy of his parents. So the boy was very afraid. But he didn’t like being alone, even more than he was afraid, so he went to live with the prince. And when he got to the prince’s castle, the prince was very formal, and had a butler and it was nothing at all like what the boy was used to. But after he was there for a while, the prince did not take the boy’s magic away, so the boy took a chance, and he started flying around the castle, because he missed it so much. He was flying around the castle one day, and the prince caught him, and the boy was afraid the prince would be mad, but he wasn’t mad at all. In fact, the very next day, the prince had set up an arena in the castle, so that the boy could practice his flying and get better at it, and get to be stronger, so that the boy would never have his wings stop working like his parents’ had. And the boy said to the prince, ‘I thought you were going to take away my magic, so that I’d be more like you. I thought you’d take it, so that you’d be my new dad.’ And the prince told the boy, ‘I’d never take your magic from you. You’re special to me because you’re different from me. I am going to take care of you as best as I can, and I will love you like my own, and you will be my family, but I will never try to replace your parents. We’ll be family in a different way. And it will be just as good, but it won’t replace what you had with them.’ And the boy kept his magic, and later on, when the boy got brothers, and a sister, he taught them his magic too, and the prince even tried to learn the boy’s magic too. And they all became a family, and they were much different from the boy’s parents, but he loved them very much nonetheless.”

When Dick looks down, Rona is drifting off, no longer looking so upset. He presses a kiss to the top of her head, and settles a little deeper into the bed.

“I’ll never take your magic from you, little one,” Dick mutters, and before he knows it, he’s drifting off too, cradling Rona close to his side.

[soriseerakyra]

Do It For Your Mother

request for @cas-backwards-tie who wanted a fic that had the batmom encouraging her family into  going on a benefit walk with her

The apathetic groan the rolls over the living room makes your eyes squint angrily. The teen angst you were expecting, but the disinterested gaze from your husband really irks you. Were you asking too much? You didn’t think so. If this was something that they wanted to do you’d do it, no hesitation.

“Mom, it’s purple,” Tim says with a raised eyebrow holding up the shirt that you’d thrown at each of them.

“And?” You ask with a raised eyebrow.

“None of us wear purple,” he says if it were obvious.

“I didn’t know that purple was off limits, I’m so sorry to have insulted your fashion sense,” you say with pursed lips.

“It’s not a color we particularly fond of mom,” Dick chimes in. “And besides this weekend is kind of busy. We all have things to do.”

“What things?” You ask asked arms crossing over your chest. “None of you ever have anything to do on the weekends you all just lay around the house.”

“Kori and I have plans,” Dick says rather quickly. “Big Plans. At our apartment. That’s not here. Not anywhere close to Gotham at all, so I won’t be able to even contemplate attending.”

“I also don’t live here and have plans,” Jason says nodding his head along with Dick’s excuse.

“I have a test,” Damian says simply, not meeting your eyes.

“I also have a test, and a weekend field trip planned… for extra credit.” Tim says in a rather unconvincing tone.

Your eyes drift over to your husband, who is visibly wracking his brain, looking for an excuse to deny your request. But he doesn’t have to, you’ve never been a pushy person. If they didn’t want to do this walk with you, you wouldn’t force them, even if it hurt your feelings.

“All right,” you say with a sigh, letting your arms fall limply to the sides in disappointment. A weak smile crosses your face, “There is always next time.”

A chorus of “Yeahs!” echo around the room, and before you can blink the room is vacated.

You’re left in the room alone, save for your husband who came to stand in front of you.  Warm large hands come to rest affectionately on your shoulders, and began to squeeze rather gently.

“Maybe next time, sweetheart,” He says pressing a small kiss to your forehead.

You don’t respond and instead dejectedly nod your head.

*** There was something wrong. More than wrong, it seemed that catastrophe had happened. They all noticed it, how quiet the house had seemed. It was a Saturday morning and everything was quiet.  There was no smell of muffins. No soft chattering in the kitchen, and no one kissed their cheeks and whispered, “good morning,” while giving them tight hugs.

They find themselves congregating in the living room, all slightly confused. They all look at each other rather confused. It’s Damian was the first to say something, “Where is mother?”

Eyes fall on Bruce first, who unfortunately could not answer the question.

“Really?” Jason says incredulously. “Batman doesn’t know where his wife is?”

“Do you want me to stalk her?” Bruce asks with a raised eyebrow.

“I think we are just a little surprised that you don’t have a tracker on her,” Dick says interjecting with a calm voice to keep the conversation from getting out of hand.

Bruce doesn’t respond at first, averting his eyes from the group, eventually he says, “I did.”

“What?”

“She did have one, she was just upset when she found it. We agreed to not have one.”

“What perceptive thinking, now she could be gone. Taken by some villain for nefarious purposes,” Damian says slightly outraged.

“It’s only been a couple of hours,” Dick says with a shrug. “We don’t know that this means anything is wrong.”

There is a quiet that fell over the room all thinking solemnly, “But there could be.”

Alfred’s familiar footsteps work their way into the living room. The slight roll of his eyes and shake of his head goes unnoticed by all of the younger males, except one.

Tim pulls his phone from his pocket, thinking he may have a clue as to where their “missing” mother might be. The walk she had been talking about was for Alzheimer’s, if he remembered correctly. As he typed the information in, it wasn’t hard to find what he was looking for, there was even new coverage of the event.

The first video that appears makes his eyes go wide, he hits play and lets the sound fill the room.

“It’s a beautiful day here in Gotham, Mark, and the walk to end Alzheimer’s is already underway. It busy today and so many more people have turned out than originally anticipated. Even a local celebrity has appeared.”

The sound causes the others to stop bickering. They turned to look at him bewilderedly as the clip continues.

“Oh, really? Who’s out there Vicki?”

“If you look just over my shoulder, you should be able to make her out.”

“Is that Mrs. Wayne?” The anchor asks in surprise.

At that they all swarmed behind him, trying to get a view of the screen. Sure enough, the woman that they called mother/wife was there.  She was talking to some of the other participants with a large smile on her face.

“I’m going to see if she’ll talk to us, Mark.”

Vicki walks up to the unsuspecting woman. It’s not until the camera is nearly shoved into her face does she notice her audience. She has a slightly surprised look on her face, but she quickly regains her composure and the lovely smile that they were all familiar with spreads across her face.

“Mrs. Wayne! How are you? We weren’t expecting you to be here today.”

“I’m fine,” she starts with a smile. “I just wanted to come out and support everyone today. This walk means a lot to me.”

“Oh, really? Is it personal?” Vicki says, genuinely interested.

“Yes, I lost my mother a little while back.”

“Really?” Vicki says in surprise.

“Yes, before I came to Gotham. She had early onset Alzheimer’s. We really didn’t know how to take care of her, and there were times we felt hopeless. I don’t want other people to have feel like that, so I came out here to walk with everyone.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mrs. Wayne and this is a great thing that you’re doing. Will your family be joining you today?” They saw it, for a moment, her face fall in visual disappointment. And everyone felt horrible, felt their hearts clutch in guilt.

“Unfortunately, they had prior engagements today. So, it’s just me.”

“You must be disappointed,” Vicki says with a frown.

“Of course not,” she says with a smile. “Sometimes our schedules just don’t match up.”

A woman calls out to the participants in the background, catching her attention.

“Seems like I’m needed. Nice to see you again, Vicki.”

She gives Vale and the camera a wave and begins walking away.

Tim pauses the video, leaving the frame stuck on Viki’s face as silence fills the room. The guilt in the atmosphere was palpable.

Perhaps none of them felt guiltier than Bruce. He had known about her mother and the trouble she and her family had. She had cried to him about it on the anniversary of her death not a few months ago. How could he have let her go do this alone?

“We really are just giant assholes, huh?” Jason said and everyone felt slightly surprised at his words, but no one disagreed.

Dick ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “We literally just complained about how we didn’t like the color purple.”

They sit their silently until the butler makes his presence known.

He clears his throat and they all look at him. “I took the liberty of pressing these shirts for all or you, sir. I assumed you’d be joining the mistress when you all awoke.”

A deft silence falls over the room before Bruce makes the first move. He grabs on of the shirt sitting on the top of the pile.

“Thank you, Alfred,” He says taking the shirt and slipping it on over his head. He looks back to his boys, “Hurry up, we don’t want to keep her waiting too long.”

Damien is next, silently taking the shirt from the slightly smug butler. The rest of the boys follow suit and then are out the door quickly behind their father.

A small smile plays at Alfred’s lips as he pulls out a cell phone typing in a quick message.

*** It felt strange to have so many eyes on you when you were alone. You probably shouldn’t have stopped to talk to Vicki, that definitely drew more attention on you than you wanted. Usually people didn’t recognize you if you weren’t all dressed up, and Bruce could deflect from the attention with just a smile.

A vibration runs up your thigh snapping you out your thoughts. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, a text flashes over the screen.

‘Incoming’- Alfred.

You’re confused at first and then as your mind turns over the phrase you can’t help the smile that comes over your face.

‘Thank you, Al’

You fall out of step with the group around you and head to the nearest rest station and lean up against the tree. There’s no need to text them, they’ll find you, and plus you don’t want to ruin the surprise.

Ten minutes passes and while you’re waiting and you start to get a little sleepy. Eyes close and you almost begin to dose off until a hand touches your arm lightly.

Your eyes snap open in surprise only to relax the concerned look of a young woman in front of you.

“Are you all right, Mrs. Wayne?”

The fact that everyone knows your name always takes a moment for you to get used to and causes you to hesitate for a moment before you respond with a gracious smile, “I’m fine I just needed a break.”

She nods, tight chocolate curls bouncing with the movement of your head, “I know what you mean. Sometimes I-”

She stops mid-sentence full lips pulling into a surprised ‘O’ shape. Her brown eyes flash over at you and then back in the direction behind you.

Small arms come to wrap around your waist and a head buries itself into your abdomen. You can’t help the loving smile that spreads across your face. You look down into the green eyes of your son. He opens his mouth to say something but he’s seemingly remembers something. He turns his head and narrows his eyes at the woman.

“Leave,” he says sharply. Quickly your hand finds it way over his mouth. “You’ll have to forgive him,” a deep voice starts, “He’s missed his mother, so he’s being a little selfish.”

A kiss plants itself on the side of your forehead and warmth runs over you as an arm wraps itself around your shoulders.

“O-Of course, Mr. Wayne.” The girl says with wide eyes. She backs away before turning around and working her way back to her own group of friends.

“You know she’s going to tell everyone she saw you, right?” You hum turning to look at your husband.

“Nothing we can’t handle, right?” He says with a shrug and small smirk.

“I suppose.”

“Are you guys done making goo-goo eyes at each other, we’re going to fall behind the crowd,” an irritated voice calls from the other side of you.

Confusion works its way over you face as you realize that everyone has come. Your older boys give you a smile and wave, or in Jason’s case a roll of his eyes and a smirk.

“What are you guys doing here? I thought you didn’t want to come.”

“We, didn’t know how much this meant to you, mom. So, we wanted to be here to do something for you. The way you always help us when we have problems,” Dick says with a sweet smile.

Your heart melts at his words, “But how did you guys find out?”

“We saw you talking to, Vicki. We felt like jerks when we found out about your mom, mom.” Tim says with a slight shrug. “Alfred also helped a little, with the guilt trip.”

“I’ll have to thank him when we get home then.”

“You should have told us,” Damian says with a little bite in his tone. He pulls away from your waist to glare up at you, “If I had known, I certainly would have made sure that everyone was present, purple or not.”

“It’s not a mother’s job to lay her burdens on her children,” you say ruffling his hair smiling as his sharp eyes relaxing at your words and touch. “It means a lot to me that you came, though.”

“Of course,” he says with a haughty nod of his head. “I would never abandon you.”

“Hey, don’t be such a suck up, brat.” Jason interrupts. “We all showed up.”

“Yes, well it matters more that I’m here because I’m her favorite,” Damian says with a smirk.

“You don’t know that!” Tim suddenly snaps, cool demeanor breaking.

“What, you don’t actually believe her when she says we’re all her favorite, do you? How much of a child can you be?” The smirk on young boy’s face irritates his elder brothers.

“Listen, brat-” Jason starts but Dick interjects placing his hands on both Tim and Jason’s shoulders.

“I think we all know who’s her favorite.”

The others open their mouths to retort but when Dick nods his head in a direction and the rest of the boys turn to look, they all let out a sigh.

Hands entwined you and Bruce are already walking back down the trail catching up to the rest of the group. He whispers something to you and you let out a laugh that makes you sound like a school girl.

“We always lose to him,” Tim says slightly irritated.

The other boys grunt in agreement.

Damian is the first to make his way toward you, his pace in a light jog, “At least we all know I’m her second favorite.”

“Not likely, brat,” Jason calls chasing after him.

Tim and Dick and follow after the pair quickly.

You look back to see your boys catching up to you smile. You were lucky to have such sweet boys.

[secondgenerationnerd]

Mother Knows Best

Author’s notes: Another SpeedDemon fic? Say it ain’t so. I’m kidding. Can’t remember why I decided to write this aside from causing my bestie @girlwonder123x some pain (love you!). I also reference a few stories on @dctinytitans so you should totally check them out! (next Fic is gonna be a Lian Harper fic)

Rating: M for swearing and violence.

Words: 4606

         “Ok, lightning bug,” Irey reaches into her daughter’s crib,” Mama’s here. I gotcha.”

         Irey speaks softly, mostly about nothing, as she changes the five-month-old. Asha looks up at her mother, looking every bit like her father except for those dazzling green eyes, babbling and gurgling to herself. Irey smiles. She tickles the little girl, filling the room with giggles,” Someone’s in a good mood. You wanna see if Baba’s up? Huh? You wanna talk to Baba?”

         Asha snuggles up to her mother as they go to the living room. Irey makes a list of things she needs to do as she settles on the couch, pulling her nursing bra to the side. Asha latches on easily, long lashes fluttering shut. Irey looks down at her daughter with so much love. Breastfeeding is one of the things she’s loved most about being a mom. The health benefits and science behind it she loves, but being able to hold her baby, bonding with her this way is something she will never take for granted. After all, It’s something she never thought she would get.

         When Irey and her twin brother, Jai, were 13, they’d been told that they have a very low chance of ever having kids. This was due to the stress their powers put on their bodies, as they had to produce more ATP and there had been more science babble that Irey heard but didn’t process. At 13, she knew at some point she wanted a family, but not now. It didn’t really hit her until she was 17 and she had been dating Damian a while. They’d been cuddling on her bed, talking about nothing in particular. It just hit her how much she wanted to grow old and have a family with him. And how that might not happen.

         When Irey found out she was pregnant, she straight up called her doctor a liar. He did three different pregnancy tests, two in front of her face. She still couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t until that first ultrasound, where she heard Asha’s heartbeat for the first time, that it hit her. She was having a baby. The baby now nestled in her arms, contently nursing.

         Irey takes another minute to just be with her daughter before grabbing her communicator. She can’t exactly call Damian’s cell phone, but the process of getting in touch with him on the communicators is a pain in the ass. She has to request it, hope to whatever is out there that he’s available to talk and has service, and, even then, it’s not like they can really talk because it’s being recorded. Irey rolls her eyes as she selects Robin V (His brothers and Steph don’t even use the damn names anymore) and waits, her eyes drifting around the room. She smiles at a picture on the mantle. Damian and Irey are maybe 11 and curled up together in an oversized armchair. They were in the Wayne Manor library. Damian’s arm had found its way around her, holding her loosely. Irey, on the other hand, had both arms around his waist and her face practically buried in his neck, cuddling him like he was a teddy bear. You’d never know two seconds later he was punching Dick in the face.

         That had been the day they met. Her dad needed to talk to Dick (who she has long since stopped calling Uncle Dick because it was too weird) about something, and Damian was saddled with her. Damian had been an asshole towards her. He’s the first to admit it, but things got better as the day went on. He’d gotten her a rose from the garden after finding her crying there. He ended up reading Hamlet to her. Irey, to this day, still has no idea how they ended up cuddling in the photo. She just remembers feeling warm and Damian’s smooth voice reading the words she doesn’t quite understand.

         “Hello, my beautiful flower,” Irey looks at her communicator’s screen. Her heart soars at the sight of Damian. He looks like hell. Dark hair messy, dirt and sweat cover his face, showing her where his mask had been, a bruise starting to form on his cheek up towards his forehead. Irey beams, thinking he’s never looked more handsome.

         “Hey, babe,” Irey adjusts herself as Asha finishes feeding,” We miss you.”

         “Miss you too. I don’t like being away from my girls,” Damian smiles,” How are you?”

         “Well, not tracking a drug cartel in Guatemala, but I can’t complain,” Irey points the camera at Asha. The baby squeals at her father’s image, stretching her little fists out for him,” I think Asha misses her baba.”

         “Hi, Hayati,” Damian coos to his daughter,” I miss you so much. Baba loves you and can’t wait to see you tonight.”

         “Tonight?” Irey points the communicator back at her,” You all finished already?”

         “It’s been a week, Nuri,” he points out.

         “You’re working with Lian, Gar, and Bart. Forgive me for thinking the mission would last longer,” She teases. Damian smirks.

         “Why do you think I’m leading the team?” Irey snorts at this,” No, we finished yesterday. Father said to stick around til tonight, see if any more news comes our way. Then they’ll zeta us home.

         “I can’t wait to see you,” Irey gives him a smirk that sends a jolt of electricity down his spine,” I miss my fiancé. The bed is too big and cold without you.”

         “I’m sure we can warm it up,” Damian assures her with a wink,” Honestly, as much as I love you, Irey, it’s taken everything for me to not murder Bart. I can’t believe he’s related to you.”

         “I usually chalk it up to a future thing and leave it at that. Besides, your family isn’t much better.” Irey stands up, getting Asha a bottle of formula. Poor baby has her mother’s overactive metabolism. Irey sets the communicator on the counter, so she can still talk to him.

         “Fair enough,” Damian chuckles,” What do you two have planned for today?”

         Irey looks down at Asha, speaking in her baby voice,” Well, when it’s not 2:34 in the morning, Mama and Asha are going to get breakfast with Uncle Jai-Jai. Then we have to go to the doctor to get weighed. And if we’re still in a good mood, we’re gonna go grocery shopping and get yummy things to try; like bananas and strawberries and-“

         “You know,” A cool voice behind her interrupts,” If you speak to her like that, your daughter will grow up to be dimwitted.”

         Irey drops the bottle in her hand, whipping around. A woman looks at her. Dark brown hair, green eyes, caramel skin. Irey adjusts her grip on Asha, holding her as close to her chest as she can,” Talia.”

         “Irey?” Damian’s voice calls out. Irey uses a very tiny portion of her speed to grab the communicator so Damian can see her. She doesn’t dare use anymore or got too far, in fear of hurting Asha. Irey gasps when a dart hits her arm, barely missing her baby,” IREY?!”

         “Hello, my son,” Talia says coolly. Irey isn’t sure who recoils more at the words- her or Damian.

         “Damian,” Irey’s voice is firm,” I need you to hang up- “

         “N- “

         “Hang up and call the league.” Irey barks, not taking her eyes off of Talia. She feels different, slower. Whatever was in that dart must be neutralizing her powers. She growls,” What do you want?”

         “Can’t a grandmother come to see her granddaughter?” Talia moves towards her. Irey steps back, keeping her grip on Asha tight.

         “Stay. The. Hell. Away. From. My. Baby.” Irey spits. Talia smirks and it takes everything for Irey not to think of how much it looks like Damian’s.

         “You don’t scare me, speedster.”

         “I might not be scary, but I can be pretty fucking ruthless when it comes to my daughter’s safety.” Damian’s still watching, unable to move.

         “Who said it’s her safety you need to worry about?” Irey doesn’t have time to react as Talia pulls out a gun and fires at her. Just before Damian’s feed cuts out, he hears a crash and Asha crying…

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

         Dick, Jason, Cass, and Tim are silent as they enter their little brother’s apartment. Normally, they would stop to look at some of the pictures on the wall, as Irey likes to switch them out. Now they stop because of the blood splatter on the wall and the trail on the floor. Jason kneels beside a streak and mouths fresh. While Cass and Tim clear the living room and kitchen, Jason and Dick check down the hall. They open doors along the way, waiting for someone to jump out at them. Nothing. They check the master bedroom, finding nothing but an unmade bed and a pile of laundry. The men jump at the sharp cry that comes from the only room yet to be cleared.

         Cass and Tim meet them outside Asha’s room. Cass mouths Home clear. They nod. Dick throws the door open. Asha wails from her crib, holding onto the railing. While the other three check the room, Dick picks up his niece,” Hey, hey, hey. You’re ok. I got you, pretty girl, I got you.”

         “Dick.” Tim flips on the light. The front of Asha’s purple pajamas is covered in blood. Tears cut trails in the splatters on her cheeks.

         “Jesus fucking Christ,” Jason picks up a note in her crib. SAVE MY MOMMY in crisp feminine letters. The siblings exchange a knowing glance. This wasn’t good. Dick bounces Asha, trying to calm her, as Jason grumbles,” Wally’s gonna blow a gasket. Damian’s gonna blow a gasket.”

         “Baby,” Cass holds her arms out to Dick,” Give me baby.”

         Dick gently passes Asha to Cass. The dancer moves around the room in quick, sharp steps. The same pattern over and over. Most babies would hate the movement. Most babies don’t have Irey West for a mother. Asha’s cries fade to hiccups as she rests in her aunt’s arms, looking around for her mother or father.

         “We need to get her somewhere safe,” Tim says. Dick nods, already grabbing the prepacked diaper bag that Irey kept on the rocking chair. He opens her drawers, looking for something warm for the baby to wear in the cold December night.

         “So…who wants to tell Damian his fiancée and the mother of his child has been kidnapped by his mother?” Jason asks. No one answers him. No one wants to answer.

         After making sure Asha is secured to Jason’s chest with three separate straps and bundled up as warm as possible, the group heads towards the Batcave. It takes almost an hour to get there as Jason avoids any rough roads. Asha sleeps the whole way. They head Damian screaming the minute they ride into the cave.

         “WHERE ARE THEY?!” He roars at Bruce, Clark, and Diana,” WHERE’S MY FAMILY?!”

         “Damian, you need to calm down,” Bruce’s voice is firm and even.

         “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN WHEN I JUST SAW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE GET SHOT BY MY MOTHER WHILE HOLDING OUR CHILD!”

         Asha wakes up at the sounds of her father’s shouts. She wriggles against her uncle, not wanting him anymore. Jason quickly unhooks her.

         “Damian-“Dick begins.

         “WHAT?!” Damian whips around. Everyone, everyone, watches his shoulders relax and his eyes soften. They hear the breath he releases at the sight of his daughter. Asha holds her arms out to him, babbling and cooing. Damian runs to Jason, cape flying up behind him, and taking her from him. He holds her tight, kissing her dark curls over and over and over,” I’m here. Daddy’s here. You’re safe. I got you. Daddy’s got you. I got you.”

         He holds her tight, just reminding himself that she’s here and alive and safe. But then he takes a closer look. Little bits of blood still fleck her cheeks and neck. His heart stops,” Where’s Irey?”

         None of his siblings answer him. Dick is the only one to meet his eyes. Instead of answering, he hands his little brother the evidence bag with the note inside. As quickly as his demeanor had changed when he saw Asha, it changes again. All the light fades from his eyes and his face grow tight. Asha gurgles in her father’s arms, typically something that would make him smile at her. This time he doesn’t react. He doesn’t look at his daughter, instead handing her to Dick. Asha’s confused as her father walks away. She starts crying. Damian doesn’t react.

         “Where are you going?” Dick asks, trying to calm Asha. The baby cries harder, stretching her arms out for Damian.

         “To find Irey,” Damian, without a second thought, hops onto his old motorcycle. He rides away before anyone can say anything to him.  

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

         Irey grits her teeth as the pain courses through her body. She won’t scream. Talia doesn’t get to hear her scream. Instead, Irey pulls on her chains. Why the fuck a church has a dungeon she’s not sure. Talia nods at her henchman, who cuts the electricity off. Irey releases a sharp breath.

         “I’m impressed,” Talia says, looking at Irey like a piece of meat,” I didn’t think you’d last this long.”

         “Fuck. You.” Irey growls. Her hair falls over her shoulders and into her eyes.

         Talia ignores this,” I suppose my son wouldn’t be attracted to someone weak. Though I still don’t see why he would choose you.”

         “Because I actually love him,” Irey doesn’t care if Talia knows it,” I love him and I love who he is- “

         “You stupid girl, you don’t know who he is- “

         “I know who you tried to turn him into. A cold-blooded killer who would never love anyone. Never let anyone in. And guess what, bitch? That isn’t Damian.” Irey can’t stop the cry of pain as Talia turns the electricity on again. Irey can tolerate more than a normal human, thank you speed force, but her muscles tighten until it feels like they’re ripping. She’s breathing heavily as the power cuts off.

         “I know my son better than some whore.” Talia’s words sting, but Irey meets her eyes.

         “I’m not a whore. I’m the love of his life, the mother of his child-“

         “A bastard-“

         “Just like her father.” Irey hates saying it, but technically it’s true,” But until her father, Asha will have a mother who loves her. Who will protect her. Who won’t ever use her like she’s just a pawn in a bigger game.”

         Talia slaps her across the face. Irey looks back at the older woman’s eyes, refusing to back down,” You think you scare me, bitch? I’m Irey West. I’ve been doing this shit since I was 10. There’s nothing you can do to me that I haven’t already been through.”

         “Maybe not you,” Talia’s fingernails dig into Irey’s cheeks,” But there’s a little girl I can still hurt.”

         Irey doesn’t recognize her voice through the anger and venom,” If you touch my daughter, I’ll shove my hand through your heart.”

         “My dear, there isn’t anything you can do to stop me-“

         “But there’s plenty I can do.” Both women look up. Damian stands in the doorway, blood on his uniform and his unsheathed katana. Irey relaxes at the sight of him,” Get away from her.”

         “Get him!” Talia shouts at the henchmen. Irey watches in horror as they attack Damian. But then she sees the cold look in his eyes. No.

         Damian doesn’t hesitate to kill the men, slicing them down as if they are inconveniences. No mercy, no pausing. Just killing. It’s just her, Talia, and Damian a minute later. Talia seems shocked,” I thought you weren’t supposed to kill.”

         “Doesn’t mean I can’t. I will say this one more time. Get. Away. From. Irey.” He snarls. Talia looks between Irey and Damian. Reaching into her pocket, she holds up a switch.

         “Unless I walk out of here, Asha will never see her mother again.” Damian looks between his mother and Irey. Irey can see some light come back into his eyes, see her Damian returning.

         “I won’t hurt you,” Damian sheathes his katana. He slowly moves towards them. Talia backs away towards another door. Just as Damian reaches Irey, Talia flips the switch. Irey screams at the top of her lungs, her back arching and every nerve flaring in pain.

         She sees snippets of her life pass before her eyes. She’s helping her mom make pancakes. Her dad is reading Lord of the Rings to her and Jai. She’s learning to throw lightning. She’s jumping around her room. She’s dancing in her underwear. She’s kissing Damian for the first time, his hands on her waist, the rain hitting their skin. Lian is shouting in her ear as something explodes. Mar’i’s teaching her how to make a Tamaranian dish. Jon’s telling her about an article he’s working on. Damian’s pressing kisses to her skin, telling her how beautiful she is. She’s holding Asha for the first time. Damian is down on one knee, asking her to be his forever.

         The pain cuts off and Irey slumps forward. Everything hurts. Her lungs feel like they’ve been fried. Her vision is blurry. Damian is at her chains. He picks the locks with ease and grabs her before she can fall to the ground. She can hear his heart beating. She can feel his arms shaking.

         “Irey…” She nearly sobs at the gentle way he says her name. She looks up at him.

         “Let’s go home.” She whispers. He nods. Damian removes his cape, wrapping it around her. She doesn’t bother reminding him that she doesn’t get cold. Irey lets him pick her up, breathing in his scent. Underneath the sweat and dirt, she picks up the traces of his cinnamon cologne. This is her Damian. He’s hers. She just has to remind him of that.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

         Irey winces as Alfred dresses her shoulder. Whatever the dart had in it has yet to wear off. At least she has a cool new scar to show off.

         “I’m sorry, Miss Irey. Shouldn’t be much longer,” He assures her. Irey gives him a pained smile.

         “Would you believe me if I said giving birth to Asha with no painkillers hurt less than tonight?”

         “Miss Irey, you’ve sparred with Miss Mar’i before. I don’t doubt that you’ve faced worse pain in your life.” Irey laughs at this, then grabs her ribs,” Master Damian seems to be in a better mood.”

         “I saw him, Alfred. He went back to who he was before. Jason told me…He told me Asha was crying and Damian walked away from her.” Alfred finishes wrapping her shoulder.

         “Miss Irey, there are very few things in this world that we can change. Who Master Damian was before coming here is one of them.” Irey looks down,” However, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him act like that.”

         “Really?”

         “Yes. I believe the last time he gave into the darkness was about 5 years ago. After Miss Mar’i was nearly killed by her aunt.” For some reason this makes her feel a little better,” Miss Irey, if I may, Master Damian will never be free of those demons. No matter how much you might want to believe he could be, they are still there.”

         “I don’t know how to help him, Alfred.” She looks at the old butler,” I’m going to be his wife-“

         “Which means you, more than anyone else, have the privilege of knocking sense into his thick skull. Not an easy task as I’m sure you are aware of.”

         Irey laughs at this, ignoring the pain it causes her,” What would this family have done without you, Alfred Pennyworth?”

         “I do not believe the family would be as whole as they are. And a few of them would be missing limbs.” Irey laughs again. There’s a soft knock on the door,” It’s open.”

         Damian enters, holding a now sleeping Asha. He smiles at Irey. Irey sees his family at the doorway. She looks Alfred,” Can we have the room for a minute?”

         “Of course.” Alfred gathers his things and shoos the other’s away from the door. Damian sits on the bed with her.

         “How much trouble am I in?” He asks in Arabic. Both of them knew his family was probably listening right outside the door, but none of them spoke Arabic. Irey had learned it after they were dating.

         “Do you want me to answer honestly or sugar coat it?”

         “Honestly.”

         “Damian, you shut down. They told me Asha was crying, crying for you, and you ignored her. Not once, in her entire life, have you done that.” Irey looks down at their sleeping daughter. Asha’s curls are damp from her usual night sweats. She sucks on a baby bottle top. She’s content in her father’s arms,” I know what happened scared you. It scared me too. But things like this will happen in the future.”

         “You don’t know that-“

         “I know we both agreed that we would continue to be heroes. To set an example for Asha. To make the world a better, safer place for her to grow up in.”

         “How could it be a better place for her to grow up in if her mother isn’t there? How can I look our beautiful little girl in the eyes and promise I will never let anything bad happen to her when I couldn’t protect you? How can I possibly look her in the eyes if I have to tell her she will never hear you sing her to sleep or hold her or tell her you love her?”

         “Baby, I know you are scared. I don���t know what I would do if you died and I had to raise Asha by myself. But that’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried you will take all that hurt and anger and sadness and you’ll shut her out. You can’t do that. Not to Asha.”

         “Irey- “

         “I mean it, Damian. You cannot ignore Asha. No matter how much you are hurting. No matter how much you miss me. Asha needs you. She needs her father. She needs you to be there to wipe her tears away, patch up her skinned knees, fix her broken heart. She needs you to tell her stories about our old missions and how we fell in love. About the song you sang to me when you told me you had a crush on me. About our first kiss in the rain and the horrible head colds we had afterward. She needs you to chase the monsters away. She needs her daddy, especially if Mommy can’t be there.”

         Damian gives her a sad look,” I hate that my mother hurt you.”

         “Babe.” Irey kisses him. It’s soft and sad and longing,” What happened is not your fault. It’s hers. Only hers. You are not like her.”

         Damian tucks a strand of her fiery hair behind her ear,” I love you, Irey West. You are half my heart.”

         “I wonder who the other half is,” Irey presses a kiss to Asha’s forehead.

         “HAVE YOU TWO MADE UP YET?!” Jason yells. Irey laughs and Damian rolls his eyes.

         “Come on in, you guys,” Irey calls out. His family piles into the room. Damian scoots on the bed so he’s sitting beside her.

         “So the wedding still on?” Jason asks.

         “Todd, I swear to god-“

         “Actually,” Irey turns to Damian,” Can I see your ring?”

         Damian frowns, but hands over the obsidian engagement ring she’d given him two months ago. Irey’s own ring was at home. Irey turns to face him, holding one of his hands. Her eyes meet his, filled with love and awe,” Damian Wayne-Al Ghul, you are an impulsive man. You can be short tempered, bitter, broody-“

         “Have I mentioned how much I love this girl?” Jason asks. Dick shushes him.

         “There are a million things about you that I should hate. But I don’t. I don’t hate them, even though everyone keeps telling me I should.” Irey’s green eyes sparkle,” I meant what I said the first time I proposed. I’ve loved you since the day we met. You are my best friend, my rock, my confidant, my lightning rod. You have made me feel so beautiful and powerful and strong. Even though your mom is literally the worst mother-in-law ever, I still want to be your wife.”

         Damian beams at her. Irey holds up the ring and asks,” So, Damian Wayne-Al Ghul, do you still want to be my husband?”

         “Of course,” Damian laughs,” I have backed out yet.”

         Irey laughs and slips his ring back on,” Good because it would have been really awkward if you told me no in front of your family.”

         “We would have had to kick your ass,” Tim informs his little brother.

         “I think you mean try,” Irey says.

         “You have to take his side- “

         “Actually,” Irey turns to face the Batfam,” I decided to calculate who wins more often in a fight by reviewing old footage. Damian wins his fights against Tim 68% of the time, Jason 54%, Dick 77% of the time, and Cass 49.5% of the time. This means his odds of kicking your asses is about 62.125%”

         Damian grins at his brothers’ and sister’s stunned expressions,” She’s as smart as she is beautiful.”

         “I like you a lot less now,” Jason grunts.

         “What about Damian and Bruce?”

         “Insufficient information to draw a conclusion.” Irey grins,” You want to hear how likely he is to beat me in a fight?”

         The others roar with laughter, waking Asha. Irey gently takes the baby from Damian, shushing her. Asha looks up at her parents, specifically Damian. Then, clear as day, she exclaims,” Baba!”

         The other adults laugh while Damian and Irey look at each other stunned.

         “Bottle would be her first word,” Dick laughs.

         “She’s not saying bottle,” Damian’s trying very hard not to cry.

         “She said ‘baba’ that’s like universal baby talk for bottle,” Tim points out.

         “Baba,” Irey smiles at them,” means Daddy in Arabic. That’s what we call Damian at home. He’s Asha’s baba.”

         “Baba!” Asha smiles up at Damian,” Baba, baba, baba, baba…”

         “You know most infants aren’t actually talking around this time,” Tim informs them,” They just babble and we try to make sense of the gibberish-“

         Damian throws one of his hidden knives at Tim’s head. He misses, intentionally, but it shuts the older man up. The family decides to leave the young couple alone. Irey lays back, watching Damian as he coos to Asha in Arabic. His hands carefully caressing her curls and wiping drool from her chin. Irey smiles. This is her future.

         “I promise,” Damian says a little while later, Asha sleeping with her head on his shoulder. Irey looks at him, confused.

         “You promise what?”

         “I promise to not shut Asha out. If anything happens to you, I promise I won’t shut down. Or I’ll try at least.” Irey looks up at him, tears blurring her eyes.

         “Promise?”

         “Promise.” Damian pulls Irey close to him. She wraps her arms around his waist, nuzzling her face into his shirt. Damian listens as her breathing evens out and all the muscles in her body relax. This, this right here is heaven. His daughter sleeping on his chest and the love of his life at his side, both of them safe and loved and alive and with him.

         What more could he ask for?

[readerwinterbarnes]

You’re More Than That - Pt. 2

Bucky, Maggie (OFC), Maggie x OMC, College!AU

Summary: Bucky doesn’t leave Maggie’s side and tells her everything Jake said was wrong. Will that be enough?

Word Count: 2,578

Warnings: abusive relationship, harassment, attempted rape, No means No, fluff

A/N: Because this part needs a fluffy, happy, healing ending. FYI Bucky & Maggie are not in a relationship, they’re really close best friends who both have feelings for each other but are not ready to go further. I didn’t feel like it was a good idea to have Maggie dating Bucky this quick because she obviously still needs time to heal.

Part 1

Bucky held onto Maggie as they piled into Sam’s car so they could head down to the station to give their statements. The whole way there Maggie was silent, not acknowledging anyone in the car, lost in her own thoughts. Thinking back to what Jake said, then what he and his friend were saying a few minutes prior.

“Damn, sugar, you always take me so good. Gonna get you nice and ready for my friend here.”

“Best fuckin’ lay ya ever had.”

“Her place is to stay at home, take care of my needs. School’s for pussies.”

“Can she take both of us?”

“Hell yeah, she can! I’ll make her take both of us.”

“She always begs for more and she’ll be beggin’ for ya to fuck her ass.” Maggie started to shake just as Sam pulled into the station.

“Hey, hey, Mags, Mags, breath alright? It’s fine, you’re safe now, shit .” Bucky tried to console her, but it was as if his words were meeting deaf ears. The car seemed to be shrinking in on them fast, Bucky nodded at the others to wait outside and give them a minute alone. Once the others stepped out of the car, the last door closing, Maggie lost it and cried into Bucky’s shoulder. Clinging onto him like a lifeline. Her broken sobs, her tears soaking his shirt, her body shaking just made him hold onto her tighter than before. He hated how his fuckin’ best friend had to go through this shit. Jake was an asshole, a dead asshole if Bucky ever met him again.

For him to hit Maggie was one thing, but to degrade her down to where he thought it was okay to force her to have sex with him and his friend, was not okay. It was downright sexual abuse, rape, and harassment. The look on Maggie’s face when they found Jake on top of her, confirmed everything they didn’t want to believe was true. He was going to make sure that Jake was going to suffer as much as he could for what he’s done to Maggie, past, and present.

Maggie’s body relaxed slightly, her cries turning into hiccups, eyes still forming tears, but at a slower rate. He tilted her up by her chin softly, using his other hand to dry away the tears from her red puffy eyes. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, “Ready to go in doll?” whispering into her skin, hating the fact that they still had to do this, but knowing that it was for the best.

She nodded against him, “Yeah...you’ll, you’ll be with me though right?” She looked up at him with scared, wide eyes, “You’re not going to leave me?” He shook his head, pulling her close to him.

“No doll, I’m not ever gonna leave you. I’ll stay if you want.” She nodded quickly, the decision was made. If she was going to do this, they were going to have to do it together and Bucky was going to make sure that she had all the support she needed. It took a few extra minutes, but both he and Maggie made it out of the car and followed the others into the station. Kevin and Tim, the officers who were on the scene, met the group at the front desk and told them to follow them.

The officers led them down the hall and to a room, they asked the others to sit and wait until they were called in next. They asked Maggie to go first since the information was fresh and they didn’t want her to wait. They agreed to have Bucky in the room with her and decided to get their statements and ask them questions at the same time. It took all of Bucky’s strength not to fling the table across the room as he heard Mags tell the officers everything that Jake’s done in their so called relationship. When it started, how bad it got, what her injuries were, the conversations Jake had with his friend when Bucky dropped her off. All the way til Jake’s arrest. He felt sick from what he was hearing, he wished he was there sooner to help her out and get her out of there. It made him feel like an awful friend. He should’ve been there for her and yet he wasn’t.

Maggie’s parents were called and were at the station just as Sam finished his statement. She ran into her parent's arms and cried, her father shook Steve’s hand, Nat’s and then Sam’s. He turned to Bucky and pulled him into a hug, thanking him over and over again. Maggie looked over her mother’s shoulder at Bucky, she knew exactly what he was thinking and she was having none of it.

She made her way over to Bucky and hugged him, sighing in relief as she felt his strong arms wrap around her protectively. Then smiling when she felt other arms wrap around the pair of them. She didn’t need to look up to see who it was, for she knew who they were.

It didn’t take long for them to hear the result of Jake’s case, not like they really needed to from what he’s already done. But he was going in for sexual assault, attempted rape, harassment, assault of a police officer and several other things. He was going to be locked up for a long time, which lifted a weight off Maggie’s shoulders. Nat asked everyone if they wanted to go out for Chinese and stuff their face with food, the vote was a huge yes. They knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get over this, but they weren’t ever going to let Maggie forget that she had a strong support system behind her.

                                                   One Year Later

It was a long, tough year for the group. But they all graduated from the university, Steve and Bucky already had guaranteed to teach jobs in Art and History, Sam was offered the assistant coach position to their University’s football team, Nat the neighboring school’s dance team. Maggie decided to take a year off after she graduated before she began looking for a permanent job. So she just helped out her parents most of the time, gardening, walking the dogs, babysitting her nieces and nephews.

Since their jobs were all well within an hour away, they decided to rent out this house from Sam’s parents. His parents used it mainly when they were visiting Sam for long periods of time and wanted the group to use it as they wished. It was big enough that they all had their own privacy from the others and it was located on the outskirts of town, so it was quiet as well.

Bucky and Maggie were the only ones in the house at the moment, due to the others working. He didn’t have his interview until tomorrow at two, so he decided he was going to pig out on food and be lazy with his best friend.

“Hey, Buck?” He looked behind him where he was sitting on the couch to see Maggie standing by the entryway fidgeting nervously.

“Yeah Mags?” He turned off the tv giving her his full attention.

“Uh, I, I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to my therapy session?” She looked up at me with wide eyes, “You don’t have to if you don’t want too, I just thought...I need…” He stood up and held her hands.

“Yeah, ‘course I’ll come with you doll. Only if you’re okay with me being there.” Since that day, she’s been seeing a therapist to talk about what happened and to slowly heal from the traumatic experience. It was really hard at first because she didn’t want to relive those memories, but she was getting better with time. Especially with her strong support system, but there were times where she fell back into the past and the thoughts that came with it.

“I want you to come with me, I need you to come with me Bucky. You’ve always been there for me as a friend, but I want you there as my boyfriend.” He smiled in understanding, they just started dating a few months ago, their friendship budding into something stronger than before. But Bucky told her that they would take it slow, no rushing and no pressure for her to do anything that she didn’t want to. Maggie agreed, wanting this one good thing in her life to go right. But there was always that lingering thought in the back of her head that Bucky might not ever want her ever since Jake tainted her. And that Bucky was just being her boyfriend, loving her out of pity, rather than just for her.

“Hey, hey, don’t think like that. You know none of that’s true Maggie, you know that.” He cupped her face, blue-gray eyes gazing at her softly. There was so much about her that he loved, her smile, how she demanded coffee in the morning in order to function. How she loved to play pranks on Sam, laughing along with Natasha as Sam tried to get rid of the glitter from his hair. Laughing even harder when it ended up getting in his mouth instead. She was beautiful in every single way, how she didn’t know that she made his heart flutter, he’d never know.

“Oh Maggie, you are much, much more than what that piece of shit ever told you. So much more. I feel as if I need to stop and breathe because you make like a kid going to his first prom dance. I’m afraid to walk when you’re around because I feel like I’m going to fall flat on my face and make a fool of myself.” Maggie’s eyes started to tear up from Bucky’s confession, they both smiled as he wiped away the tears.

“Let’s go meet Dr. Thompson yeah? Then we’ll order a bunch of Chinese, get ice cream and any junk food you want. We’ll even pick up some of the horror movies you wanted to watch.” He kissed her forehead, then picked up his wallet and keys. Moving behind her to help her in her jacket. “The others won’t be coming back until late, so we have the freedom to stuff our faces with no interruptions.”

“That sounds like a good idea, but we’re getting extra noodles and egg rolls this time since you ate most of them the last time.” Maggie stared at Bucky with her hands on her hips.

“That was one time! They were so good!” She crossed her arms, he sighed and lifted his hands in surrender, “You got it doll, extra noodles, and egg rolls.” Smiling at her before giving her a quick kiss.

“Now let’s go! I hear the noodles calling our name!” Bucky followed after Maggie smiling and hoping that today would be a good day.

                                               Later that evening

Nat’s car broke down and Sam twisted his ankle, so Steve had to pick them up after work to bring them home. Which was nice because they all lived in the same place anyway. Steve pulled into the driveway as they laughed at how Sam twisted his ankle while trying to get a girls number.

“Did you end up getting her number?” Steve asked as he linked hands with Nat, walking up to the front door with a limping Sam behind them.

“Yeah, I tried to get her number after I fell on top of her, with my face on her chest. ‘Course I didn’t get her number!” Sam whined, “I’ll be single forever.”

“You, single? Nah, you’ll find someone.” They headed inside the house dropping off their stuff by the door, heading further into the house.

“Yo love birds, we’re back!” Sam yelled as he took off his shoes.

“HOLY SHIT!”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” The three of them turned to each other, panic mode set it. They rushed to the living room only to find popcorn was thrown all over the place and two figures wrapped under a pile of blankets, eyes wide and locked onto the entryway where they were standing.

The movie IT was paused on the screen, Chinese take out, candy wrappers and some empty ice cream cartons littered the coffee table in front of them. But really amused the trio was the still huddled pair on the couch who looked as if they were about to die.

“Uh Buck, Maggie, you okay?” Steve asked watching them carefully. His only response was two pairs of eyes blinking at him.

“W-Wait...wait,” Sam started laughing pointing at the two of them on the couch, “we scared you guys, didn’t we? Oh man, this is so being crossed off my bucket list!” That seemed to break Bucky out of his trance as he glared at Sam from under his blanket protection.

“Fuck you, birdbrain!” The trio entered the room and sat down on the other chairs, Nat, however, started to clean up the mess so it didn’t have to be taken care of tomorrow. Steve glanced over at Maggie who was silent throughout the whole thing, still clinging to Bucky out of fright.

“Mags, you okay there? You look a little bit shaken up.” The others turned towards her, Bucky just laughed under his breath, pulling her closer to his side.

“She’s fine, Sam just yelled at the same time the fuckin’ clown jumped and ran out of the water. Fuckin’ scared her half to death.” That broke her out of her trance, she whirled at Bucky and punched him in the arm.

“Oh yeah, how ‘bout when we watched The Ring, huh? When the girl came crawling out of the tv screen and you started screamin’ like a girl?”  He gasped sitting up straighter.

“I did not! I wasn’t expecting that to happen.” Bucky replied immediately, Maggie smiled knowing that this was the reaction she wanted.

“Denial! You so fuckin’ did!” The others watched the pair bicker back and forth, laughing their heads off as Bucky tried to defend himself saying he didn’t scream like a girl. Eventually, they calmed down, the others having gone up to change into their pajama’s before rejoining Bucky and Maggie in the living room, each claiming their own seats.

“So, we still watching IT or are we moving onto The Conjuring?” Sam asked as he rested his ankle on the coffee table in front of him.

Maggie perked up saying, “Well since everyone else is here, let’s just restart it and then watch The Conjuring afterward. Bucky and Steve haven’t seen that one yet.” She reached for the remote and restarted the movie, Bucky glaring at her at having to rewatch IT. But she just smiled at him and grabbed a few candy bars. Soon enough, the group was watching movie after movie, well into the morning. Ordering food, laughing, jumping every so often and laughing at each other when one did.

Maggie looked around her group of friends, smiling to herself. Glad that she had a strong support group to back her up, to pick her up whenever she fell back into the dark nightmares of her past. She was happy she had them as her friends who loved her for her and weren’t afraid to stand up for her and always be there for her. Maggie was just relieved she had a family to keep her strong.

Motionless Tag List: Bolded ones won’t tag :(

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Help Me Tag list:

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[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!