#new users who don’t do that look like bots to other users so they get blocked on sight

[baconcolacan]

Dose AK exit in the R universe

Well I certainly think he does, but I doubt he’ll ever cross paths with the main crew. If anything he’s probably among the evacuees sent to the Americas by now.

[itsabouttimex2]

I almost thought the Celestalchaos bot was platonical I'm so sorry I just got curious how that family would be with the user/reader 😅

(I actually made a Celestialchaos Dads bot!!)

Surrogate Son

“It’s good to have you here with me,” Xiangliu starts, tracing a scaled hand slowly down your cheek before withdrawing it. He rolls over to face Sun Wukong, then cups his face as your had been. Xiangliu’s snakes gently nuzzle your face in turn, their forked tongues licking at your skin. “And you,” the Nine-Headed Demon shakily breathes, his hands moving to roam up and down Wukong’s abdomen, only to be caught by the ginger simian when they drift too low. “My Saint of Chaos,” Xiangliu adulates, kissing at Wukong’s cheeks.

“Love you too, babe,” the Great Sage returns, stretching out slowly. The two spend a moment just gazing back and forth, a locked gaze of gold and orange.

As they spend that precious moment in adoration, you check your phone to see if there’s any new texts… and you find one, from MK.

“Is that- is that the kid?” Wukong asks, rolling over Xiangliu to flip beside you- for his part, the snake demon is unbothered by the sudden squashing, and only leans in to listen close. “Does he need something?”

Lifting the phone again, you read the text-

’Can I come over for my break?? Pigsy says I’m too tired to do any more deliveries today.’

“Looks like the kid wants permission to come over… but I’m guessing he’s already on his way, honestly.”

The boy could be impulsive to a fault, as you had learned well from your first interaction with him- still, he had become a very dear part of your life.

“That sounds like the boy,” Xiangliu agrees, giving a soft smile. He looks over at the simian, who simply groans in response, sitting up slowly.

“Should’ve told me he was coming over,” the Great Sage huffs, moving to swing his legs off the bed. “I’d have ordered us all something,” he starts, shifting nearly off the mattress- only to be immediately pulled back down by Xiangliu wrapping his arms around the ginger monkey’s hips and holding him close.

Ignoring the serpentine demon’s clinginess, you ask: “Oh? But I thought you didn’t like cooked food, hun- wouldn’t you rather forage?”

“I don’t like most cooked foods,” Wukong corrects, with Xiangliu nodding in agreement. The nine-headed demon moves a hand to run through the Great Sage’s messy ginger hair, still holding his waist with the other-

“Except for noodles,” the snake demon interjects, pressing his forehead into Wukong’s shoulder and nuzzling against the bare skin.

“Oh, that’s right! You order them from MK’s boss, right? Jajangmyeon, with extra pork and no zucchini?”

“Just the way I like ‘em,” Wukong grins, tilting his head up into Xiangliu’s motions. The snake demon begins to press small kisses into the monkey’s exposed neck as well, gently drawing along the sensitive skin with his fangs- but the Great Sage doesn’t seem much bothered by the biting, or if he is, he’s good at concealing it.

“Hate to be a joykill, boys… but you’ll have to knock it off when the kiddo gets here.”

Xiangliu gives a quiet grumble at your statement- he knew you had a point, but he didn’t want to fully quit. His forked tongue gives one last long lick up Wukong’s neck before withdrawing back into his mouth.

“Yeah, you’re right,” the ginger simian agrees, tilting his head back onto Xiangliu’s shoulder.“Can’t be snogging when my bud is here.”

My. You don’t exactly miss the use of that word- and really, you haven’t missed the impact that MK has had on the wilder of your lovers- how Wukong has grown; healed, in leaps and bounds thanks to his…

Student. Nephew. Son. Little brother.

So, so many roles.

MK fills them all admirably.

Even though you know the kid is only a few minutes away by now, you send back to him:

‘You’re always welcome here, kiddo.’

After everything he’s done for your partner, you find it hard to argue that he shouldn’t have a place here in this cozy little cabin, on the lavish peaks of Flower Fruit Mountain.

He’s your kid too, after all. As much as he is Pigsy’s, or Tang’s, or Wukong’s…

He’s your kiddo, too.

There’s a beat of silence- and then the tell-tale sound of footsteps approaching the door. Even with the knowledge that MK was on his way up, the sound still makes Wukong jump a bit- he and Xiangliu both share a look, like two kids who were just caught in the middle of doing something they weren’t supposed to.

And then, the boy lets himself in- and practically collapses onto the floor, utterly exhausted and panting for breath. His hair and clothes are messy and disheveled, with the his usual upbeat mood entirely missing.

“You two get dressed,” you sigh, standing up from the bed and throwing the sheets over their half-dressed forms. “I’ll take care of our kid.”

“Our,” Xiangliu whispers, all eighteen of his leering yellow eyes glittering at the thought. “Our child.”

“Not all ours, Nine. We’ve got like… three other dads to compete with.”

"I'd say we’re his favorites," Xiangliu tries to counter, a sly grin creeping upon his serpentine features. Wukong gives a scoff at that, scoffing at that notion in time with you.

“No, it’s Pigsy,” you both say.

Xiangliu has no further argument, and instead whips out an elegant robe of green and orange.

As they dress, you kneel to the exhausted hero, offering him a warm smile. With gentle scooping motion, you lead MK to his feet, biting back a gag at the overwhelming smell of sweat.

“Oh, sweetie. Who were you fighting this time?”

MK shakes his head, suddenly moving to latch onto your waist with a hiccup. There’s a shuddering tremble that races from his chest to feet, making the hero look almost like a child ready to bawl in fear.

Nightmares, again. He’s been having them for a while.

Ever since the Lady Bone Demon, in fact.

“Oh, no, baby… don’t cry, it’s okay…”

As you begin to rub his back with a soft coo, your newly-dressed partners look at you with both admiration and love, tempted to join in the doting… but they kept their distance, instead.

“I’ll go start him a shower,” Wukong whispers, heading to the bathroom, but not before Xiangliu presses a long series of slow kisses to his cheeks.

“I’ll go see what we have in the kitchen, then… and maybe find him a change of clothes.”

With once last glance to your doting form, both depart to focus on their own tasks, giving you a perfect moment to forget the rest of the world and simply comfort your child.

“Nothing is gonna hurt you,” is your promise to him.

You don’t intend to break it.

[orphiclovers]

Not orv related but kinda new to Tumblr so like what is the behaviour 101 on Tumblr , can I get a few tips , i desperately wanna interact but idk

Okay, I knew I would get something like this. You're already doing pretty well, in that you have a profile pic and have figured out the ask function, so good job. 

Orphiclovers’ guide to Tumblr 101:

1.The number one crucial step that EVERYONE should do, even if you don’t care about the rest. CHANGE YOUR PROFILE PIC to ANYTHING that's not the default one (Though not your face. We don’t generally do that here.) The reason to do this is because it’s almost impossible to tell apart a just created blog from a porn bot. If you haven’t encountered one yet, you will. They're a big thing on tumblr, a completely blank blog created by a bot (sometimes with an attractive woman as the profile pic) that follows you and and sends you ‘hot singles in your area’ type scam messages. If you get one, don’t click any links! Under the message there will be a prompt saying ‘mark this as spam?’ click that and tumblr will automatically report and block the blog.  Some people with huge bot infestations automatically block any blank blog to be safe, and you don’t want that accidentally happening to you, so CHANGE YOUR PROFILE PIC!

2. The other essential blog customization thing is go to Blog Settings>turn off ‘share posts you like’ and ‘share the tumblrs you’re following’. This will hide your likes and the people you follow from every other user. Basically everyone turns this off to have privacy. Otherwise noisy fucks like me can come to your blog and look at all that.

3. You ALSO need to go to Settings>Dashboard>scroll to Prefrences> disable ‘Best Stuff First.’ Having your dashboard (that’s what we call the “Following” tab on Home where you see all the posts) be in chronological order is objectively the best way to be on Tumblr. This is the one social media that doesn’t shove the algorithm down your throat, enjoy it to the fullest. I have never in my life clicked on the ‘Explore’ tab except by accident, and the ‘For You’ tab is also controversial. I don’t recommend it. You can learn to use tumblr with no algorithms and you will feel better.

4. Okay, but there’s like two posts on my dashboard, what do I do? You need to follow people, friend. Go to the search bar and enter a tag for a fandom or character you like. That’s ‘#kim dokja’ or ‘#honkai star rail’ - unlike instagram, you can put spaces between words. It’s not case sensitive, so #Kim Dokja #kim dokja and #KIM DOKJA is all the same to tumblr. I recommend going in tags and not just ‘kim dokja’ because tumblr’s search system is often wonky.

5. Now, scroll through the posts and follow the blogs. That’s it. Now their new posts will show up at the top of your dashboard. Currently, I follow 119 blogs and that’s a pretty decent number. I get new posts every couple of minutes, and if there are no new posts I exit the app. No endless doomscrolling. Also, all the people I follow actually post stuff I want to see.

6. You mentioned wanting to make friends and that brings me to my next tip: Reblog. Reblog, reblog, reblog. Every post you want to click ‘like’ on you should reblog instead. Everytime you want to comment you should reblog instead (and put the comment in the tags).

7. This will put their post on your blog. Most of the posts you see on your dashboard are posts the people you follow have reblogged. It’s hard to wrap your head around, but it’s essential tumblr stuff so I will try to explain it in detail.

Reblogging etiquette

8. Blank reblogs are fine.

9. If you want to say something like ‘good art!!’ or ‘wow I love this theory so much’ put that in the tags of your reblog. The original poster will see the tags you have added, and also anyone who follows you will see the post + your tags. But if they reblog a post from you, your tags don’t come with unless they decide to manually copy them (which people don’t usually do unless they want to respond to something you said in the tags. Then they will copy the tags and put <- prev as in ‘previous’ and respond to them. This is like a whispered conversation you have on op’s post but they will still be able to see all of it so be mindful.) Some people also use the tag system to organize their blogs.

For example, if you reblog art of kim dokja, in the tags you can put ‘#wowowow I’m drooling thank you op, #kim dokja, #orv, #orv fanart’. Theoretically now when you or anyone else goes to your blog’s search function can search #orv fanart and see all the original posts you have made and the stuff you have reblogged with the tag #orv fanart.

Now I will address some common concerns people have before reblogging. “Am I reblogging too many posts in a row??? Won’t the people who follow me get annoyed???” No, they will not 99% of the time. And if they do, they can unfollow you. But okay, if you’re worried about this you can put your reblogs in a queue. Here’s how tumblr themselves describe it: ‘The queue lets you stagger posts over a period of hours or days. It's an easy way to keep your blog active and consistent.’ Basically if you tell it to it will automatically post the stuff you can put in the queue every hour or 15 minutes or whatever you want the interval to be. Check it out.

“Won’t reblogging posts bury my own posts and prevent them from being seen???” No. All the posts you reblog are probably long buried in the OP’s blog too. But as long as they get passed around in reblogs they will get new eyes on them, forever. Also, you can reblog your own posts if you want them put on your followers dash again (usually tagging this as #srb or #self reblog). They will also still be in the tags you put on them originally. Myself, I tag all my posts as #my posts or #my art so anyone visiting my blog can easily check for those specifically (though I don’t know if anyone does…lol. Lmk.)

 “Okay, but I have so many different interests, won’t people hate seeing random reblogged posts about stuff they’re not interested in?” They can deal or unfollow you. But okay, some people create ‘sideblogs’ for every fandom they’re in. This functions as almost a fully fledged seperate blog. For example, you can’t easily tell if a blog you follow is a main one or a sideblog, or what their main blog is (unless they tell you). You only can’t like or follow or send an ask from a sideblog.

In general you don’t add stuff to the text part of a reblog unless you have something significant to add and/or are mutuals with the OP. Mutuals is when you both follow each other. I’m guessing you’re asking me how to get people to follow you back and to that I say idk man. Make posts and talk to them in reblogs and it will naturally happen. 

Also, asks are fun, send people asks (and enable them in setting on your own blog.)

10. Also, give your blog a description and a title. It’s just nice customization. The title can be a quote you like and the description anything you want to tell someone about yourself. Look at how other blogs do it. I think nickname/pronouns/list of fandoms is pretty standard.

Let me know if you want to ask anything else :)

[sonicasura]

What would have been a tense atmosphere was cut through by the very clingy Predacon newspark. Sure enough, the (mentally) young dragon-like cybertronian still remembered them. Jury was out if it was Dart or the Omnitrix they remembered so fondly though.

The human teen hadn’t bothered hiding the watch given the nature of this meet up.

Jack: “You’re… Bygone?”

[User]: “Bygone’s a form of mine, so technically. Call me Dart and this is—“

A flicker of amusement was the only warning when the alien device itself displayed it’s hologram using Ben as a template.

[User], cont’d: “The Omnitrix. It’s the one who reached out to you initially, not me…”

————————————————

The cybertronian shapeshifter was actually a human(?) one? Well, they looked human enough and weren’t a hologram like Arcee sometimes used.

Raf was still freaking out over his gaming buddy being an advanced alien AI. Miko was excited over other aliens—look when you’re around alien robots all the time, you get used to it. The oldest of the Autobot-allied human kids was desperately trying to keep the meet up under control. Kinda moot point, but he certainly tried.

Jack: “Why pretend to be a Predacon? Or become one for so long?”

‘Dart’: “That was a bit of a hasty decision on my part, but I don’t regret it.”

Jack: “What?”

‘Dart’: “The Omnitrix works by collecting genetic samples from the transformation’s species. Predaking happened to be the first cybertronian I encountered. And contrary to what I expected from such an almost feral transformation—I could speak.”

Jack: “Yeah? We eventually got that Predaking was like other Cybertronians. Mech mode and talking.”

‘Dart’, sighing: “What I mean. Is that before Predaking showed any inclination of being sapient. The Decepticons thought he was a normal cybertronian animal. Me being able to speak as Bygone when he was still effectively feral meant he always had the physical capacity. It took ages between the Bots interrupting lessons to teach him to speak.”

Jack: “And you stuck around to teach him?”

‘Dart: “I assumed one of two things: either he was young enough he wasn’t taught to or injured enough he physically couldn’t. Experiencing how other species live is the whole point of the transformations.”

The newspark Predacon nudged the unaligned human teen, almost forcing them out of their chair.

‘Dart’: “And to also bring extinct ones back—“

The Omnitrix: “I cannot bring back the dead, so unfortunately Cybertron will stay mostly lifeless. What I can only do is make new individuals to keep the species itself going. I apologize.”

The alien watch’s explanation cut through the barest bits of hope that had been building up in the Autobot-aligned kids. Well, at least one cybertronian species had been brought back…

—ROB’d Anon.

The fact one species was brought back from extinction still provides hope that life could come back to Cybertron. Dart and the Omnitrix could probably do more if they have information. Optimus would be the best since he was an archive pre-war.

Plus considering the movie, I see Dart just snatching the All Spark from OP and tossing it into the well. They know the Prime has zero self preservation whatsoever. Plus they're the only person capable of scolding him because Dart nor the Omnitrix gives two shits about how sacred Primes are.

"You are a person with friends who would mourn your self sacrificing ass, Prime or not. Whoever says otherwise needs their teeth kicked in."

[tentakilly]

Hello! Because of the new TikTok ban scare alota people might come here in another exodus(it’s like the 3rd or 4th). It’s probably not gonna get banned but I would like to tell any new comers about Tumblr etiquette anyways! TLDR at bottom!

Ive been here since the quarantine(this is just a new account) so I know a bit(I’m also an internet history nerd so that helps). If any veteran tumblr users wanna chime in feel free to do so! Also please ask questions if you’re confused about wording or anything.

1. Porn bots:

This site has been plagued with porn bots for a long time but during an exodus you’re gonna see a lot of them. There accounts that are mostly empty for a while but then out of nowhere start posting porn and links to very sketchy sites and clog up tags. They’re very annoying to deal with and most users will end up blocking and reporting empty accounts and moving on. Unfortunately new users get caught in the crossfire and will get blocked and reported. Unlike sites like Twitter and TikTok were you can just not post and no one will bat an eye, people will see an empty blog start spam like posts and block them. You absolutely cannot have an empty blog. What you wanna do is fill your blog with posts related to your interests and reblog post you like. Not only is it helping you find your niche of weirdos but also signaling you’re not a bot. The most common first posts I’ve seen are intro posts and art dumps! Also decoration and blog customization also tells people you’re not a bot. Simply changein the pfp and header is enough for most of us tho.

2. Competition vr collaboration:

Unlike most socials tumblr is a collaborative site that loves creative bits and adding onto jokes rather than competition. It’s actually one of the main reasons tumblr and reddit are so intertwined. Competition and followers are not gonna get you anywhere. You’re better off finding a group of weirdos you like and befriending them. If people like you they’ll find you naturally. Also being tumblr famous is like getting buried alive. You don’t want to get famous here, the hate mail game is insane. Quick tip! Turn off annon asks if you don’t want some insane shit in your ask box or are more sensitive to weirdos. I have it on because I’m brave. The SCP community and other collaborative communities and fandoms all thrive here.

3. Tags:

I’ve seen newer users complain about “stolen tags”. You have never been able to “steal” a tag on any social media site I don’t know what they’re talking about. But anyways! Tags are one of the main ways you communicate on this site. Puns, comments, conversation, and more happen in the tags. It’s no longer a system of just finding posts you like. You wanna add something to a post but it doesn’t fit with the rest of it? Add it to tags. You wanna continue a bit or conversation? Tags. You just wanna goof off? Tags baby. It’s not the only communication of course but you will see conversations in the tags. Another tip! Tags will bleed into each other when looking for a super niche topic. Example: The Dr Glass, Glass Doctors, Dr Who, and Glasses tags will all bleed into each other but only when you are specifically looking for new Dr Glass content.

4. Ai:

Here Ai is very frowned upon unless under specific circumstances. Like reclaiming Ai adopts, actively mocking it, and chat bots. If you do post Ai “art” be cautious but you will end up getting mass blocked if we find you.

5. Fandom:

Like I’ve stated before this a collaborative site and as such you’re gonna see a lot of fandom here. Please be careful because mis info, interpretation, and bad faith spread like wildfire.

6. Don’t interact lists:

If you’re not aware a Do Not Interact list(DNI) is a list of groups or people who you don’t want interacting with your blog(s). It depends on the user but the most common ones in the lists are Homo/transphobes, Pedos, racists, sexists, and generally bigots. But remember for the life of however long your on this site not everyone is gonna listen to your DNI and they will interact anyways. It’s just as simple as blocking someone you don’t like.

TLDR:

No empty blogs, you don’t compete you collaborate, tags are important, Ai is generally frowned upon, fandom gets wild, and a don’t interact list won’t always work and just block people you don’t like.

I hope this helps anybody new or returning and please ask questions or chime in if you need to!

-Lynn

[cursed-elo-images]

HEY EVERYONE I NEED TO POST ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA INCORRECT QUOTES ON HERE BECAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS THEM!!!

The website I generate these from are none other than the lovely https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator, whose quotes come from user suggestions, Tumblr, Twitter, and bash.org (the sources that aren’t user suggestions were pretty early and they take quotes from user suggestions now just to clarify) and I’ve been having the time of my life making them.

Also, as a heads up I’m only posting SFW ones.

And so I’ll edit this post whenever i generate new ones and copy and paste them into my documents and choose the ones I want to post. I know that with incorrect quotes from any fandom, people like to post multiple posts of one quote or a handful of them wherever they post them from and I’d like to do that, it’s not a bad idea, I just like to collect them all in a large mega post.

UPDATE: this no longer applies to this post. I’m not making it a mega post anymore, because it’s too confusing for me and I’ll be like “okay so if this the original mega post or is this the first reblog or the third reblog or the tenth reblog—“ and it just looks better with multiple posts of a collection of different quotes.

SO WITH THAT BEING SAID—here they are!!!

Melvyn, talking to Mik: Well Mik, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Hugh do that?’ and if he would, I do not do that thing.

Mik: …

Hugh, from the distance: He’s not wrong though!

Melvyn: The first time I ever got upset in front of Hugh, he put his arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask him if he was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

Hugh: I was doing both, for your information.

Mik: The first time Hugh hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.

Melvyn: When I was a kid, Hugh told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.

Mik: They are!

Melvyn: FOR REAL?

Mik: No! Why did you fall for it again?

Mik: They made Melvyn cry!

Hugh: Melvyn always cries!

Melvyn: That's not true! *cries*

Richard, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Jeff, pulling out an Uno card: +4.

Kelly, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Bev, trembling: What are we playing?!

Richard: Are you laughing at that video of Bev and Jeff fighting?

Kelly: No.

Kelly: I'm laughing at the comments.

*The Squad is at Jeff’s house*

Melvyn : Ohhhh we each get our own oven?

Jeff: …N-No…

Jeff, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Melvyn , motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought!

Richard: I see a-

Jeff, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Melvyn : Oh, well I-

Jeff: Hey, wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Jeff, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Hugh: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Bev: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Jeff: Now I’ve discovered more ovens than I thought, we don’t have to roshambo nothin’!

Jeff: I am someone who owns four ovens…

Jeff, louder and way too happy: I am someone… who owns FOUR OVENS…

Mik, pointing to another appliance: Also, the toaster oven!

Jeff:

Melvyn : Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Jeff:

Jeff, ecstatic: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS.

Bev: Today, Kelly took my phone, and in five minutes, he sent high resolution close-up photos of Richard to the following people: Jeff, Hugh, Mik, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

Bev: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Kelly: No.

Richard: I did not.

Melvyn : I may have actually forgotten one.

Jeff: Also no.

Bev: Oh good, neither did I.

Hugh: *Exhausted sigh*

Hugh: We’re kind of missing something guys.

Kelly: Cohesion?

Richard: Teamwork?

Bev: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Mik: And Jeff is not here.

Kelly: Oh, and that, yeah.

*The Squad is playing Chess*

Hugh: *easily beats everyone because he knows how to play*

Kelly: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*

Bev: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*

Mik: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*

Jeff: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.

Melvyn : They named a board game after cheese?

*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Richard, Bev, and Melvyn : *spinning a little and talking*

Jeff, Hugh, and Kelly: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

Richard: Did you bring Jeff?

Kelly, gesturing to Hugh: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Richard: Hugh? The next best thing would be Bev.

Hugh: I would be offended, but Bev is freakishly strong.

Melvyn: Hugh, I have a question.

Hugh: What is it, Melvyn?

Melvyn: What color is an orange?

Hugh: Melvyn, you bonehead! Its color is the same as its name. Just like a lemon.

Hugh: Do you take constructive criticism?

Melvyn: Not without crying

Hugh, entering the room: *Sees Melvyn and leaves*

Melvyn, watching Hugh leave: There’s my monthly dose of Hugh…

Hugh: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE.

Melvyn: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds.

Hugh: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME—

Melvyn: *sigh* What do you want?

Hugh: Chicken nuggets please.

Hugh: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?

Melvyn: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.

Hugh: ...

Melvyn: ...

Hugh: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-

Melvyn: Hugh, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?

Hugh: It... It didn't take me the whole day…

Melvyn, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!

Hugh: …What does that even mean?!

Jeff: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

Richard: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Jeff: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

Bev: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

Bev: Jeff, gather the others. We need to have another Hugh-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-him-before-he-hurts-someone convention.

Melvyn: What’s your name?

Jeff, whispering to Bev: Can I tell him my real name?

Bev: No!

Jeff: I’m… Bev.

Bev, whispering to himself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right…

Melvyn: Are pigeons drones?

Hugh: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Melvyn: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Hugh: *Crying* Please let me sleep…

Hugh: Do you know the best way to respond to disagreement?

Melvyn: With tears?

Hugh: No.

Melvyn: *tears up*

*The gang when they drop food on the floor*

Jeff : Aw man. *Throws it away*

Bev: Five second rule!

Hugh: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor*

Richard: *Sobs on the floor*

*when a child starts crying in public*

Mik: *tries to make the child laugh*

Kelly: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

Bev: *gives detailed instructions to the parents*

Melvyn: *cries with the child*

Richard: *ignores the child*

Hugh: *is the reason why the child is crying*

Melvyn: While I'm gone, you're in charge Richard.

Richard: Yes!

Melvyn, whispering to Hugh: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.

Hugh: Obviously.

Richard: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?

Hugh: Not again!

Richard: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.

Melvyn: Just wait until you hear about whales.

Richard: What now?

Hugh: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Richard: Melvyn is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Hugh.

Melvyn: I feel like Hugh is the more responsible one of us two though.

Hugh: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Melvyn: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Melvyn: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella!

*Melvyn opens their umbrella while indoors*

Richard: Melvyn, that’s bad luck…

Melvyn: Chill out, Richard !

Hugh, kicking down the door: WHO SUMMONED ME?!?!

Melvyn and Richard: *screams*

Richard: Hugh isn’t answering my messages.

Melvyn: Allow me.

Richard: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Hugh: *replying to message* Hello.

Melvyn: How did you even get in here?

Hugh: Richard's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Hugh's door"!

Richard: I’m closing the window.

Hugh: If you water water, it grows.

Richard: ...What.

Melvyn: He’s got a point.

Melvyn & Hugh: *Playing video games*

Richard: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games?

Melvyn: *silence*

Hugh: *silence*

Richard, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?

Melvyn & Hugh in shame: Yeah…

Melvyn: Richard won’t come out of his room!

Hugh: Just tell them I said something.

Melvyn: Like what?

Hugh: Anything factually incorrect.

Melvyn, shrugging: If you say so.

Richard, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

Hugh: *Talking to Richard* Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me.

Melvyn: But this is my abode.

Hugh: ...

Hugh: Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest.

Melvyn: Why is Hugh crying?

Richard: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Hugh: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Melvyn: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Hugh: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Melvyn: NO, NOT THAT!

Richard: Melvyn learned how to fold origami penguins from Hugh the other day. I told him, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day he put them in the fridge.

Richard: Define “dream”.

Hugh: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.

Melvyn: That’s too dark!

Richard: Melvyn, I’m afraid.

Melvyn: Just stay close to Hugh.

Richard: That's why I’m afraid.

Melvyn: I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Richard: Melvyn learned how to fold origami penguins from Hugh the other day. I told him, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day he put them in the fridge.

Richard: What are you two arguing about this time?

Melvyn: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Hugh: Cry me a table, Melvyn.

Melvyn: Ladies, gentlemen and Hugh, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!

Richard: A llama?

Melvyn: No.

Richard: A baby llama?

Melvyn: No!

Richard: A baby llama with a little hat on?

Melvyn: NO!

Richard: Melvyn, what are you doing?

Melvyn: Making chocolate pudding.

Richard: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding?

Melvyn: Because I've lost control of my life.

Melvyn: Here's your pudding, Hugh.

Hugh: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

Richard: Yesterday, I overheard Melvyn saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Hugh replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Melvyn: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Richard: I saw you.

Melvyn: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Hugh in a turkey costume.

Melvyn: *lifting weights*

Hugh: Wow… He’s so intense!

Richard: I wonder what drives him.

Melvyn, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

Richard to Melvyn: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Hugh, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Richard: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

Hugh: *sneaking in through his window*

Richard: *turning in his chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Hugh: I was with Melvyn?

Melvyn: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

Melvyn: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey. Air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing.

Richard: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing.

Hugh: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements?!

Richard, trying to impress Melvyn: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

Hugh: He turned it off and back on again.

Hugh: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Richard?

Richard: No.

Melvyn: I do!

Hugh: I know, Melvyn.

Melvyn: I’m sad.

Hugh: I know, Melvyn.

Hugh: Go ahead, Melvyn. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.

Richard: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

Melvyn: Last night I found out Hugh is a sleep talker.

Richard: Oh, really?

Melvyn: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

Hugh: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?

Richard: Why?

Hugh: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Melvyn.

Richard: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that.

Hugh: Richard, you have opened my eyes.

[photoniccyclone]

New AO3 Comment Bots

The next edition of Ao3 comment bots have arrived, and unfortunately these are trying to be less obvious then the previous ones. While the previous bots simply accused you of using A.I. which made the bots very easy to detect. These new bots attempt to act like a normal commenter by showering your fic with compliments. I’ve been getting hit with them for the past few days but they’ve become a bit more sophisticated now, generating comments longer than one sentence and seemingly trying to blend in far more. This has caused some moments of confusion where I wasn’t sure whether or not to delete a comment because I wasn’t sure whether or not it was a real reader who left it. 

These bots have a weakness though. Since it’s not an actual person, they can’t say anything about your story specifically, only making very general statements like the following. 

It comment above contains a compliment about dialogue but it can’t pinpoint a specific scene or moment because this is a bot. These bots also feel way too... “professional”? Using words like “added a delightful layer” and some more things in their language that I can’t exactly describe that makes the whole thing feel like it was written by some stereotypical movie critic rather than an actual commenter. People don’t talk like this. 

Sometimes it’s downright comical like the following 

The story being commented on is a legal document. It’s literally made to look like an in-universe legal document. That’s it. Yeah, I’m sure a legal document made you feel all that. 

Still, even with that, I’ve found myself scratching my head sometimes thinking “should I delete it?” because they are becoming more and more indistinguishable from real comments. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, and sometimes the comments are able to resonate with something in the story by complete chance. Like, for example, some comments congratulate you on your fluff writing. If that bot comment is by complete chance left on a fluff fic, then it will be much harder to distinguish from an actual comment. 

I really wanted to talk about this because I haven’t seen that much chatter outside of discord about it and I feel it’s something everyone needs to be aware of because it is just as, if not, more dangerous then the A.I. comment bot because of these bots actually trying to hide and blend in.

For all readers out there, when you comment on a fic, I feel it is now more important than ever to be specific. Comment bots will never be able to read the story, so pick out different scenes and moments that you liked and comment on those. This will not only make the authors day, but it will also help you distinguish yourself from bots. I’m worried that one day, I’m going to accidentally delete a legitimate comment thinking it’s a bot and that will suck if that happens.  

So please, spread awareness of this, like we were able to do with the A.I. bots. And hopefully if possible, let Ao3 know about this and try and get them to do something. I don’t know what they can do but this is the second major comment bot attack the community has had since I’ve been here, and it’s the third major bot if we count the kudos bot. Other sites have methods to protect against bots, and while they don’t always work, they can definitely reduce the number of occurrences. I really hope Ao3 can install some kind of captcha system for Kudos and comments, because right now, the only true way to protect yourself from comment bots is to make your fic so that only registered users can comment. But I really don’t want to do this because I’ve received so many amazing legitimate comments from guests and I would really hate loosing those.  

[exterminator-of-bots]

to all blank blogs

Hey there! Chances are if you’re a new tumblr user or a lurker who doesn’t post, your blog will be blank with absolutely no posts, no bio and maybe the default tumblr icon as your profile picture.

However, I’d like to share some tips because tumblr currently has a rampant spam / porn bot problem which is only getting worse.

Most of the time, at least 20 something of this bots are made every day. They post inappropriate / spammy links to dodgy websites with malware in completely unrelated tags such as #asexual, clogging up other users’ dashboards and causing more trouble for others.

Many of these bots, when they start out, are blank.

Which is why, if you are a blank blog, you may find yourself getting removed from other people’s follow lists, blocked and even reported! That’s terrible right? But why do they do this? The answer is because they think that you’re one of these annoying bots.

So, I’d like to share some tips in distinguishing yourself from these bots and making your blog seem more like a real person behind the screen.

Firstly, what’s a blank blog look like?

Most blank blogs look like this.

take this profile as an example. It has 0 posts, a default tumblr avatar and no bio or banner. However, it’s likes and following are exposed and they are all follows or likes on pornographic spam bot accounts, which makes me think that this is yet another new bot in the spam bot army.

Profiles like this are likely to get your tumblr taken down and reported. Many people purge their follow lists of these bots, so if you’re following any other people, they might block you.

So, to prevent this from happening, here are the tips.

ONE. Change your avatars, please! Even a simple silly cat photo or anime character, or a random piece of paper with a face works. Like the default avatar? There are actually picrews out there to alter your avatar! They’re really cute, you can give the circles and squares moustaches, monocles, hats and bows. Usually these little things help to distinguish a bot account from a human account. Also, why not change your banner while you’re at it?

HOWEVER! Be warned that you should not use a picture of yourself or a human girl / boy as most of the time, porn bots use these pictures. Others may think you’re another one of them, block and move on.

TWO. Add your description. Even a simple [ name | interests | age (optional, but some people don’t like ageless blogs) ]. This will help others to see that you’re a real person. Another thing is that you may end up getting blocked by others, especially if you’re a minor, but it’s alright, do not worry and don’t take it personally.

These people who block you most likely post 18+ content and are wary and don’t want to expose their content to minors.

THREE. Posts. Some people may still think you’re a bot, so if you don’t really want to customise your blog, at least leave a simple post saying that you’re not a bot on your profile and pin it. Even a simple “hey! I’m a real person, I just lurk / don’t post” or “im not a bot, just don’t like posting” is fine. But if you really are new and want to become part of tumblr culture, the thing to do is reblog.

Why? Because reblogs are mainly how tumblr users support others. Instead of a like / comment, which is only viewed by others, a reblog can help to spread someone’s post and help them to get more popular, for instance an underrated artist who doesn’t get much attention. If you’re shy you can also comment in the tags, which are the little hashtags at the bottom of a post. You can put something like #omg this is so cute! or #love this in the tags, or you can simply reblog without tagging, either way is fine.

the point is, people can tell you’re real if you’re actively reblogging others’ posts. You don’t even need to reblog every day, just one or two on posts you like / posts that catch your eye.

Some blogs reblog others’ things and post web hooks to their malware scam sites in it. However, it’s nothing much to worry about, people will not think you’re a bot as these bots tend to reblog things by other bots. Reblogging things by other human users is completely fine.

In conclusion, I hope this helps! To all new blank blogs and old, thanks for reading :]

[selectivechaos]

honestly the way people talk about ‘bots’ on this site isn’t right. like, you can ask people to alter their blog so that it doesn’t look like a bot.

and you can do that nicely.

you don’t need to go on about how “you look like a fucking bot”. you don’t need to be angry and spam emojis about it.

not only is it unfriendly to new users,

but it hurts people who struggle to personalise their blogs.

people with social anxiety.

people with depersonalisation.

people with executive dysfunction.

etc.

some people are really fucking scared of online spaces. i am.

“just reblog one thing” no. fuck no. it’s not easy for everyone. for some people it’s the hardest, most dreaded thing. i used to be so fucking afraid of the like button and accidentally pressing it.

so please stop acting like blog personalisation is easy to do or ‘the least you could ask’ of someone. please stop acting like those who don’t personalise their blogs, and then get blocked, deserve that. they don’t.

we can’t help it; i soft block accounts i think are bots. but please be gentle with others. there are still real beings behind many many screens. 🌹🌹

[quillyfied]

Okay, folks, been testing this “can’t edit a blog unless you follow 5 tags and 3 blogs” thing, and I have some data to report:

1. If you do it on desktop (Firefox on a Mac for me), you can skip the process by clicking on the Tumblr icon in the corner. This takes you to your dash and you’re all set to curate your experience and make sure you look human to other blogs!

2. Trickier on mobile (iOS); heard that there was a skip button but I never saw it.

Wouldn’t let me tap or interact with anything until I did this. HOWEVER!! There is still a workaround! I discovered it on accident and then made a third fake account just to verify!

3. I made my third fake blog. Once I had the password set and the blog name picked, I closed out of the tumblr app, then reopened it. It opened right onto my dash! Success!

Now: I absolutely believe there are new users who also either don’t see a skip button or are befuddled at this process, because it isn’t very intuitive, I don’t think, so it’s possible there are new genuine followers getting blocked because they’re inexperienced and look like bots.

However. I think there are also just a bunch of bots. Because you don’t need a real email address to set up an account.

If anyone smarter than me could screen grab where a skip button is during this process, I’m intensely curious about where it is and why I’m missing it (the answer is I’m oblivious and often miss things right in front of my nose).

[emotexastoast]

couldnt dm u so i thought i would just notify u through here about whatever this is

Are u okay? Like do u know who this is? All of their posts are kind of cryptic and im like 80% sure its not a bot but the acc is so bizzare (like why would they message me this unsolicited) ANYWAYS JIST WANTED TO TELL U!! bc this is weird 😭😭

Im like pretty sure this is abt u but potentially about someone with a similar user?? Idk

Sorry for the late response! I don’t use my tumblr that much, just to look through ship tags every now and then lol, but I actually saw your ask as I was checking this account to see if that user got here too. Looks like they did ☹️

FYI I do NOT know who this user is. They started following my twt back in January and started leaving weird messages like this there, saying gross stuff like we were together and I abandoned them etc. I blocked them there of course, but then they made new accounts and recently the past months have gone after literally ALL of my other social media, even my ao3 account 💀

I’ve tried reporting them but all the social media teams say each account “hasn’t violated their rules” so the accounts stay and I just have to block them.

I’m so sorry you’re getting harassed by them too and I’m doing okay for now! It’s uncomfortable to keep seeing them pop up everywhere but I’m doing my best to limit their interactions. And thank you for the ask and your concern! ❤️💙

[preserve-or-raze]

hey so @staff the reason we’re worried about you forcing an algorithmically generated dashboard is because you are surrounded by sites who do that. literally every other site is doing that. this is the only site that doesn’t force users to interact with a “for you” page. you’ve got one, it’s just not mandatory.

the reason twitter and reddit users came to tumblr is bc we’re different here. their home sites decided to modernize and fucked their userbases to do it. the following excerpt is full of bad ideologies that kill the whole appeal of tumblr as a platform

“creators, like everyone on tumblr” what the hell do you MEAN like everyone?? everyone on tumblr is a creator. that’s the whole fucking point isn’t it? that’s why they’re called blogs? because every user has a website all their own that they curate to present themselves to the world. which leads me further. tumblr doesn’t really have creators the way you’ve used the term here. tumblr isn’t about creators and consumers like instagram and tiktok. tumblr is about conversations and show-and-tells. it’s about showing neat stuff to your buddies and some creative people making things and sharing them. you need to reframe users in the corporate mind as sharers, not creators.

“engagement on a post” yeah the only people looking for engagement are folks who don’t understand the culture that’s grown on tumblr over 15 years. (see trend: “this has 10k notes. to me.” “pLEASE GOD NO!”) tumblr’s draw is a place that fosters hanging out with friends. people get nervous when their posts “breach containment.” we’d rather have relatively few interactions with people like us (mutuals) than millions of notes from fuck knows who.

“being successful on tumblr” what the filthy fresh fuck are you talking about??? this is the most egregious error in this new way of thinking. tumblr is the best social media around because there’s no competition. everyone is sick to the back teeth of the comparison game and disingenuous clout-chasing. that’s why the hidden follower/following count is so brilliant. tumblr isn’t about numbers. no one worth anything on tumblr makes posts sponsored by third parties because tumblr isn’t about making users money. i get that tumblr has costs and business gotta business, but my point is that while instafluencers are trying to sell you LED strips and tiktokkers want you to buy yoga pants and twits urge you to invest in crypto, tumblr folks are just offering fursona commissions. and on the fame front, celebrity doesn’t really exist on tumblr. it’s just girls being bros. there’s some well-known urls that have viral posts that have been cross-posted to the four corners of cyberspace, but even still no one bats an eye when recognizable users respond to someone you’ve never heard of. because notoriety has never been the goal for tumblr users. there’s virtually no celebrity on tumblr. fame, sure—but not celebrity.

“should never feel like a punishing experience” well, success on tumblr would be defined by the average user as having a good time. the way you make that feel punishing is to force users into systems and flows that they do not like. the way to make it rewarding is an in-depth explanation of tumblr’s current culture and functionalities. tagging posts, following users, blocking users, searching for tags (@staff fix the fucking search feature), how to tag posts, when to reblog vs reply, how and why to like posts, tagging your posts, changing your dash to be newest first, that there’s no expiration date on posts like you can reblog even if it’s a decade later, TAGGING your POSTS, using xkit (or w/e) on desktop, implementing themes for your blogs, changing headers and pfps so we know you aren’t a bot, TAGGING YOUR FUCKING POSTS. teach people how to use this site and not only will they use it, they’ll feel like an important part of this community—which has infinitely more retaining power.

now look. i love tumblr. it’s the only social media i’ve got left. but it’s basically the only thing keeping me on the internet and i’ve got a whole host of reasons to leave altogether. i think a lot of folks share my current enthusiasm and looming trepidation over tumblr’s future. staff, we love it here, but you’ll find very few of your veterans, your core userbase, those of us who taught the former twits and redditors how this hellsite worked, us with the institutional knowledge, the ones who have the most grace to give you — very few of us will stick around if you try to model our tumblr after the image of these hostile platforms claiming to be user-centered social medias.

also, for the love of all that’s sacred, @staff, please fix the fucking search feature.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[iamshay]

Artificial popularity. False engagement. Manipulated audience perception.

🚨 The Truth About Inflated View Counts on Rumble

Lately, I've been noticing more and more strange on Rumble streamers with hundreds of live viewers but barely any real chat activity. If you've ever watched a truly popular streamer, you know the chat moves fast, with constant messages from different users. But on Rumble? Many so-called "top" streamers sit at 400+ viewers while their chat looks like a ghost town. Suspicious, right?

This isn't just an isolated case. Viewbotting using fake or automated viewers to inflate numbers is rampant on smaller platforms trying to compete with YouTube or Twitch. Whether it's done by the streamers themselves or by the platform to make itself look more successful, the end result is the same:

🚫 Don't Fall for the Illusion

Rumble, like any platform, wants to look like it's growing fast. If it can show big viewer numbers, more content creators and advertisers might jump on board. But those inflated numbers don’t mean real engagement, real communities, or real influence. And that’s the danger—people blindly trust numbers without questioning where they come from.

💡 The Lesson: Don't Be Gullible

If you’re watching a stream and the numbers don’t match the interaction, trust your gut.

Ask yourself:

✅ Are there new people constantly chatting? Or is it the same few names over and over?

✅ Is the conversation natural, or does it feel repetitive/scripted?

✅ Does the engagement match the hype?

Don't let platforms trick you into believing their hype. Fake views don’t equal real success. In a world full of inflated numbers, the smartest thing you can do is pay attention to real engagement, not vanity metrics.

Nothing against this particular streamer. I don’t know him that well but it’s all red flags over this.

Rumble’s Viewbot Problem is Bigger Than You Think

Rumble has become a massive playground for viewbotters. Streamers like Lumpypotato, Silverfox, and now TheJoker from Kick are all operating there, and the platform seems to be pushing these old creators while heavily botting the feature section. The fact that only viewbotters defend this system and attack anyone who calls it out should tell you everything.

I genuinely think Rumble's staff is involved in pushing these artificially inflated creators to make the platform look more successful than it really is. They want big numbers to attract more users, advertisers, and investors, but in reality, it’s a manufactured illusion of popularity rather than true organic growth.

If Rumble is artificially boosting creators to manufacture popularity, it’s only a matter of time before the whole thing collapses. Stay sharp, question the numbers, and don’t let fake hype fool you.

Share this to keep people informed. The internet is full of smoke and mirrors don’t get played.

I wonder how the FTC will feel about this. They're playing with fire! The fact that they condone this and the staff is doing nothing about it is a huge red flag. Why aren’t they questioning why their chat is so dead? It’s because some staff members are doing this for them they get 30min heads up since it take time til viewbot flying in the backgroun. There other issue with rumble just read people own experience statement.

Here is a review of the platform: Trustpilot Review of Rumble.

Rumble can barely even beat Nimo TV. They bought a lot of bots during election day, managing to reach 6th place for a short time before dropping back to 7th. This is exactly why the top three platforms are the big boys because they actually hold viewbotters accountable. On those platforms, creators who abuse the system and cheat their way up get kicked out of the creator program. Rumble, on the other hand, seems to let it slide.

I have posted about this in the past as well. These are all red flags, and you’d have to be the dumbest person not to see right through this.

FTC, here I come. How would they feel about these screenshots? This is a huge red flag, and anyone with a brain can see right through it.

Xo.

Shay

[nickgerlich]

Artificially Speaking

Sometimes I chuckle when I see people putting up a big resistance to something new, and then one day realizing they’ve been using it all along. Maybe it doesn’t count if you don’t know, right? Yeah, I doubt it.

I’m talking about AI, the most-ballyhooed topic we have had in a long time. For all the people talking nonsensical fears and crap-talking what is arguably the most important tech topic of the day, I sure do see evidence that a lot of us are using it. We only need look back to the last holiday shopping season, when 70% of shoppers admit to using generative AI when shopping. I suppose the other 30% either just didn’t know it, or wouldn’t confess to it.

If you have ever used one of those handy chat bots residing on the lower-right corner of your screen, then you have used AI. It’s not like there is an operator standing by at corporate headquarters in the event that you or someone else has a question. Nope. There’s a machine waiting and watching for you to type a few syllables.

It’s one thing when Amazon started offering suggested items years ago. You know. “People who bought this also bought that…” At its core, even those recommendations are AI, but their algorithms are simply scouring massive data bases looking for patterns. It has to make sense of those patterns, and recognize all of the if…then scenarios and outcomes.

But it is quite another to carry on a conversation with a machine. That takes some raw computing power, along with we consumers placing trust in the replies.

If you are a Googler, perhaps you have seen the change over your results page in the last few months. When you query today, you are more than likely to get an AI-generated summary first, along with links to relevant sources. This is especially true when there is abundant information to be found on the web. Google is merely filtering through that mountain of results to help us cut to the chase.

The chat bot, though, is like having a personal assistant. Not long ago Amazon launched Rufus, its own PA. Although it may still be in Beta, you might find it on your homescreen on the top menu bar, between All and Medical Care. I took it for a test drive last year, and found it to be quite helpful.

So popular is the use of chat bots that there’s even an Amarillo start-up going live with their web tool that creates cut-and-paste code for adding a chat bot to any website. We’re going to be seeing a lot more chat bots in the days ahead, and I aim to have the developers on a podcast episode soon.

As the analysts are wont to say, even the best chat bot does not completely replace F2F browsing, as well as possibly interacting with a human. Well, that’s assuming you can find a human, and also that the information given by one human does not differ from that provided by another. Those analysts may be just a little bit too optimistic in their effort to keep AI in what they perceive to be its proper place.

Which brings us to the limits of AI. Is it the machine, or is it the user? Naturally, the results to any query, be it on Google or on a shopping bot, depend greatly on how well the query is worded. Frame it poorly, then you get poor results. Frame it perfectly, and you get what you need.

How do we educate the public, though? It’s not like there ever has been a college class called Googling 101. I know that I kind of learned from experience. I also know that early Google as well as other search engines back then often relied on boolean operators and symbols to guide the searching. Google is much better these days, as we have all seen with its predictive spelling when we are typing away.

Essentially, these AI bots are not only spewing information, they are acquiring information. They are learning as they go, learning our speech patterns, our search criteria, and more. Each time it attempts to answer a query, it has a little bit more information at its disposal.

And we the consumer are quickly becoming oblivious to the presence of AI in our lives. Heck, I routinely ask Alexa questions about things, and am amazed at how well she thinks on command. AI, you are welcome in my house. As long as you keep making my life easier, I won’t put up a fight. Resistance is futile, anyway.

Dr “Which Kitchen Tools Do I Need To Use A Blackstone Grill?” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[exterminator-of-bots]

how to spot a bot!

Having trouble? Unsure if your followers are bots or not? Don’t worry, and read this handy post! Firstly, the most common kinda of bots are the pornographic type. These bots are made using scripts owners of dodgy websites have bought. At least 20 of them may follow you every day due to the newest bot wave. Their purpose is to get people to click on the links they attach to posts or in reblogs, which lead them to dodgy porn sites very likely filled with a million viruses waiting to infect your device.

So here’s some tips on checking whether it’s a BOT or NOT!

Firstly, check the blog’s name. If it’s a string of random words together, such as the example provided below, it’s very likely a bot. Another one is when the blog’s name is a random name and a bunch of numbers behind it, such as emily1863.

This is an example of a porn bot’s blog.

Another very important thing to check is the profile avatar / icon. If it is the default tumblr avatar show below, or a suggestive picture of a girl / guy (although it’s usually pictures of girls), it’s another sign that it’s a bot.

Here are some default tumblr avatar examples.

Next, check the posts. Are they posting links to other websites with suggestive / inappropriate thumbnails or just links in general in unrelated tags? It’s a bot. OR are they completely empty, with no posts at all? It’s likely that this one is a new bot that hasn’t posted yet. People call these blank blogs, and sometimes they are new users who haven’t posted, or lurkers. I’ll make a more detailed post on them later.

Here’s an example of a bot’s posts. Notice the tags, especially. They are all innocent looking tags, mostly for fandoms and I don’t even want to ask why they put it in the bread tag. It seems to me that these bots take random trending tags and post in them.

Common tags these bots reside in are the lgbt tags, mostly the #aromantic and #asexual tags (why are they posting porn bots in these? the people here literally don’t want to have sex!) and #transgender.

however, they can be found in pretty much any popular tag if you scroll long enough.

Okay, so I’ve found a bot. WHAT DO I DO???

A simple answer is to block so you don’t have to see them anymore, but it's not the best method. If you just block them, they will still stay on the site and clog up people’s dashboards.

instead, here's a better way. you should report AND block! That way, these bots’ accounts will be removed from tumblr!

how to report / block? Here’s a picture guide!

click on the 3 dots on the side of a post.

when you report you’ll be led to this page.

Please report them for spam / bot, NOT sexually explicit material. Reporting them for explicit content will simply get them shadow banned, but their blogs will still be accessible somehow. Also because it’s more spam when they are posting in unrelated tags.

but if you report them for spam, these blogs will be deleted! Hooray!

another great thing is you can flag and block them at the same time, as seen in the image above! Killing two birds with one stone!

I hope this mini guide helped you guys! Oh, and one more thing.

PLEASE DONT CLICK ON ANY LINK THESE BOTS SEND! THEY USUALLY CONTAIN MALWARE OR THEY COULD LOCK YOU OUT OF YOUR TUMBLR AND TURN THE ACC INTO A BOT ACC!

stay safe, and happy bot hunting!

[mariastoyanovablog]

Blog Post 10: Ai Music taking over Spotify

In this blog post I would like to discuss AI music making its way into Spotify and other music streaming platforms. AI is definitely here to say, not only did it take over the field of art in concept art and illustrations but now it has recently infiltrated on Spotify. Uses of AI is already a very controversial topic, especially with its rapid growth in how it learns from humans. Currently, the reception of Spotify using AI is very mixed. 

I will first start with some positive impacts AI has made on the music app. Spotify first introduced a feature called Smart Shuffle. This is an AI that when enabled on a playlist, it will try to play you songs that are not in your playlist but they sound similar to the genre music your playlist has. People have mentioned that it’s not that good at choosing songs for you but I guess it's an interesting way for us to discover new music. It is also a minor use of AI so far it’s not interfering with your music in any way unless it’s enabled. 

The next new feature Spotify introduced is AI DJ. This tool takes personalisation playlists to a whole new level. You could say it is like a personalized radio with your favourite songs and genres. It can sort through recent releases, look back at songs you haven’t listened to in a while and sort your music by decades. It will even review your recent replays of songs and play them again for you. While you’re using this feature it will constantly update with new information on what you prefer to listen to. The feedback on this feature has been mostly positive and people have enjoyed this idea more than what smart shuffle tried to achieve. For most, this is definitely a better feature that helps you discover new music. 

Along with the positive I also want to address some negatives with AI being a part of music. I would like to bring some attention to some of these problems Spotify is currently facing. Throughout my research on this topic I found out that people have started to use AI music and AI bots to boost the numbers of these AI songs with the goal to self inflate. These AI songs attribute to people that don't exist, and this allows them to take royalties that would normally go to real artists and musicians. Furthermore on Spotify you can also find fake bands who make covers and steal music from real, creative and talented artists. Another trend I found out about is something called “mood music”. Recently there has been a rise in “mood music” which is AI music that has been able to slot into Spotify made playlists. Sometimes Spotify can make you playlists based on specific genres, with the idea that the user will find new songs from the playlist. However, people have reported that these playlists are starting to become filled with AI music. 

Due to this it has been very difficult for new artists on Spotify who are trying to make their own unique music and stand out, and they get no plays because of this new flood of AI music in competition and with the platform itself. In those small, starting out artists there might be talented musicians who want to maybe spread a message, but are unable to do that with the way AI continues to grow on the music platform. 

This has been an ongoing issue for a while, and is slowly starting to affect other music streaming platforms. When confronted about the issues, Spotify has said they don’t have any plans to ban AI and AI generated content from the site. However they have stated that they will remove and reduce bot accounts due to this effect Spotify’s profits. 

In conclusion I think I can accept AI tools being added to music streaming platforms as it definitely gives the user ease of use. However I completely disagree with AI taking artists' work and talent. Especially knowing that starting out musicians have been studying music and are trying to get their foot off the ground and make that first step in the music industry, whilst also competing with all the other big names on the platform. New artists are looking for a place where they can get recognition for their music, but with AI around, it can be very difficult to get that. It is starting to seem like people are more open to the idea of AI being in apps and this concept seems to be more and more accepted and normal for today. 

References:

Spotify (2024). Spotify Premium Users Can Now Turn Any Idea Into a Personalized Playlist With AI Playlist in Beta. [online] Spotify. Available at: https://newsroom.spotify.com/2024-04-07/spotify-premium-users-can-now-turn-any-idea-into-a-personalized-playlist-with-ai-playlist-in-beta/.

Spotify (2023). Spotify debuts a new AI DJ, right in your pocket. [online] Spotify. Available at: https://newsroom.spotify.com/2023-02-22/spotify-debuts-a-new-ai-dj-right-in-your-pocket/

Kleinman, Z. (2023). Spotify will not ban AI-made music, says boss. BBC News. [online] 25 Sep. Available at: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-66882414.