#new mom essentials

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

"Please stop asking how I got in here," the white haired kid said, annoyance laced in his voice, "All I want to know is if any of you can do detective work in the supernatural world!"

Constantine just barely opened his mouth before the kid turned on him, "Not you! You have terrible reviews!"

Bruce tensed as Lazarus green eyes locked on him, "How about you? You're the worlds greatest detective, right? I know you probably won't take gold as payment since Bruce Wayne is your sugar daddy, but I can offer up information on the Infinite Realms instead!"

Batman, calm and collected even as Green Arrow and Flash snickered from across the room, "Infinite Realms?"

Phantom grinned, "Is that an agreement? Cause Prince Psaro could really use your help. He has so many questions, and the answers may save his life. You want to save the life of a teenage boy surrounded by demons and monsters, don't you?"

Bruce stared at the teen, not looking away even with Constantine motioning not to agree, Bruce nodded.

And in a moment, they were gone. They reappeared in a grand hall with a ruby eyed teenager looking impossibly small from his place on the massive throne. Silver hair shined oddly in the light of the purples flames that danced in the sconces, making the boy seem more ethereal.

"Hey Psaro!" The white haired kid from before greeted, "I brought you a detective like you asked. Don't forget you have to teach me magic now!" The first teen vanished without a trace leaving Batman and what he now recognized as an angsty goth alone together.

As it turns out Psaro had many questions and offered to pay him a generous amount in gold each day.

Some of his questions include:

What kingdom was my human mother a princess of?

Why can't I remember key information from my childhood, such as my brothers very existence?

I was framed for the murder of all of the "Chosen Heros" loved ones. How do I prove im innocent before he comes to take off my head?

Why do Rose's tears shatter?

Is there a way to stop his younger brother from destroying the world without caging him or killing him?

Ect.

Bruce has his work cut out for him, but between the mysterious white haired kid popping in now and then to give him cryptic conversations, the team on litteral monsters he was given to defend himself with, and his access to royal libraries and vaults this might not be so bad

[aloeverified]

au where emilie doesn't "go missing." gabriel fully believes in his plan to bring her back with the black cat and ladybug miraculous, so he doesn't want to fill out a police report and label her as missing as it would both put more attention on him as well as make it more difficult to explain her disappearance when he brought her back.

instead, he stages a tour for her. she's taking a break from her acting career to focus on the gabriel brand, traveling the world to learn about different cultures and their clothing for a new line they'll be releasing.

the press is excited, conspiring and making predictions about which countries will be included. many people wonder why emilie decided to make such a stark career change so suddenly, but no one really questions it as suspicious.

except for adrien.

adrien, who has seen his mother less and less over the past few months. adrien, who has been nervous to speak to his father ever since his irritation has spiked. adrien, who can't remember the last time he had a meal with both of his parents. adrien, whose only friend is chloe.

he begins to think. all the times his mother left for months to film a new movie, his father burying himself in his work for days on end, adrien being left in the care of his parent's assistants while they filled their schedules as much as possible — keeping busy and far away from one another.

he wonders if he's just be oblivious this entire time, if his family has been drifting apart and he's been forced into photo shoots and advertisements as a way to keep him distracted from it all. he notices the way his father looks longingly each time they pass a portrait of his mother, as though he's lost something, and the way natalie's eyes soften when she notices as well.

he stops asking his father why he didn't tell him about the new line. he stops asking his father why he can't call his mother, why she won't call him either. when he comes across his father sitting at his desk, holding his wedding ring is hand and looking at a framed photo of their family, he stops asking questions all together.

adrien doesn't know much, but he has a strong feeling his mother isn't coming back.

[chocolatepot]

I'm feeling really cranky tonight and I don't know why. Like yes the things I'm being cranky about are making me cranky but usually they don't annoy me so much?

[dix-rose]

anticipatory grief is actually one of the worst things in the world I hope nobody ever has to deal with it

[bolshevik-rpf]

dear lord i am not going to survive this martini

[lunar-fey]

ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

[drev-the-procrastinator]

love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too

[just-jammin]

ate some uncle john’s for breakfast

the spicy chicken fillet burger is frickin’ good, while the great taste white chillz is surprisingly delicious

the salted caramel chillz sucks ass tho

[bich-the-moss]

YIPPEE

[besnouted]

very epic that companys can contract someone for 4 years and string them along and decide to not renew without warning thats awesome :^) anyways when can workers start breaking upper management’s legs again

[vvussyboy]

To people whose natural reaction it is to get angry/irritated at something before they hear the whole story: shut the fuck up, you’re fucking annoying

[murobrown]

.

[trans-yllz]

MY DOC MARTINS ARRIVED OVO

[ganseyandjane]

i've been turning a blind eye to it even though i've been aware of it happening for years but it has almost become way worse yet i don't feel like i've done enough to stop it

[bruxbea]

I know it’s mostly because the Inquisitor doesn’t get a ton of flavor text

but the idea of a Dalish Inky losing their mind over meeting the author of the one and only physical book they’ve just so happened to read is pretty adorable?

Russet: So despite their being my “living quarters” lady Josephine has requested no actual livestock be permitted past the castle doors, do I have that correct?

Cassandra: In her defense, three halla, several ducks, and a timber-wolf do not normally qualify as livestock…

Russet: Truly? Not even the ducks? Not especially the ducks?

Cassandra sighs her CassandraTM sigh: You feign ignorance on basic public etiquette, yet you recognized Varric by the back of his head-

Russet: First of all dear Seeker, I am Dalish. Before the conclave I could count on one hand how many human dwellings I had been permitted to enter, so chew on that a moment.

Russet: Second,

Russet: Of course I recognized him, he’s Varric fucking Tethras-

[jasminesanders8807]

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