#new favorite dc animated movie!!!

[moondove330]

THIS IS THE CUTEST FUCKING MOVIE my skin is clear my crops are watered my soul is healed

[thetimelordbatgirl]

OC Halloween Challenge 2024 Day Twenty One: Apocalypse AU

The New Titans (DC) if they were in the animated film, Justice League Dark: Apokolips War. After Darkseid's failed attempts at conquering Earth, Superman devises a plan to stop him once and for all and alongside the Justice League and other allies, goes to Apokolips to do the plan, while heroes like the Teen Titans and their differing incarnations including The New Titans are left behind on Earth alongside other heroes as its defense. But tragicially, Superman's plan fails due to Darkseid becoming aware of it through spying through the unaware Cyborg, and the result of the failure includes a large amount of deaths on both Apokolips and on Earth when the titans and their allies struggle to defend Earth from the invading Parademons, including New Titans members Tidebreaker/Rickey Dalton, Seaspray/Mickey Dalton and Jadestar/Tessond'r. Ultimately, despite all efforts, Darkseid and his forces would win and conquer Earth, leaving any surviving heroes who wont captured by Darkseid to hide out and survive as best as they could, with Dark Omen/Coraline Cameron joining Raven in hiding to try and help her keep Trigon imprisoned while Saprrow/Prim Davis joined her adopted brother, Robin/Damian Wayne, ultiamtely in the League of Shadows, just trying to remain with the only members left of her family after all of her losses. Two years pass before any hope of defeating Darkseid emerges, with it coming in the form of the hero whose plan had led them to all of this: Superman.

[garciaasfluffypen]

take care of me (like i take care of you) pt.1

pairing: jemily x adhd!reader word count: 2.4k warnings: emily smokes in this one (SMOKING IS DANGEROUS LADIES, GAYS AND THEYS pls dont ruin ur lungs), reader is mentioned to vape but it is not shown, female terms of endearment - "little miss", y/n has a minor flashback to a previous relationship where they got belittled that leads to an rsd breakdown a/n: THIS PART GOT TOO LONG AND I DIDNT EVEN GET TO THE MAIN PLOT POINT UNTIL 2.4k WORDS IN so its being split into two parts teehee :) also... i should have put this in the first part, but the house they live in is jj's house from cm evolution bc i'm quite literally obsessed with it anyway pls ignore the fact that it's clearly not three femme presenting humans holding hands i couldn't find a gif like that anywhere

you all had been blessed with a whole week off. a whole week that you got to spend with your favorite people in the entire world and not have to worry about being called in.

it had been ages since you had a whole week where you didn’t have to worry about a single work thing bothering you. the last time you had done this, you had convinced your then best friends to take you to their favorite park and have a picnic, go to the movies and even take you to the trader joes to get your favorite snacks. but this week, this week was different. firstly, you were now dating your best friends, and had been told to stay at theirs as long as you wanted to. you hadn’t left except to go to your apartment and grab a suitcase full of clothes. secondly, the case you had just finished drained the hell out of the three of you. a majority of the time was spent curled up on the couch cycling through shows on netflix and amazon prime, everyone taking turns picking a show to watch while eating leftover chinese food and cuddling. but today you were determined to get out of the house.

the local zoo was holding a sale to celebrate the birth of a new baby giraffe, which happened to be some of your favorite animals ever. so naturally, you got three tickets for the three of you last night and made sure you were up before both of your girlfriends to ensure you got your hands on tickets to feed the giraffes. it had been on your bucket list for a long time. ever since you were little, giraffes had intrigued you. they just looked so soft and cuddly. and you wanted to touch one. so, so bad. 

which is how you found yourself up at seven in the morning, squeezing yourself out from between the two older women and seaking downstairs, curling up in the armchair that you had claimed to yourself and grabbing your ipad. well, technically it was emily’s but she barely used it so therefore it was yours. you had all your favorite games on it anyway, so it was only fair that you used it more since you liked to play games on the jet. making sure you got to the website bright and early, you went to the page where you needed to buy the giraffe experience tickets and waited patiently until 7:30am hit and the first wave of tickets were sent out into the interwebs. within minutes, you had the three tickets you needed in your email. the next step to buttering up your girlfriends for a day at the zoo was to make breakfast. 

you knew exactly what breakfast each of them liked, and had memorized it a few weeks prior for moments like this. emily loved her bacon crispy, her eggs over easy and a marlboro gold by the bay window. jj, on the other hand, loved when you made the pillsbury biscuits with honey and butter, some sort of potato and getting kisses from both you and emily. considering emily usually woke up a little bit before you and jj on a typical day, you decided to start on hers first. you grabbed the box of cigarettes from her purse and put it over by the seat next to the kitchen table, opening the window so the cool dc air would flow through the kitchen as you cooked. sometimes you were tempted to light up a cigarette and see what they were like, but you couldn’t let go of your favorite fruity little flavors. that was another thing you added to your mental list of things to never let emily find out, since you knew she’d give you the look that she gives you whenever you’ve somehow disappointed her. 

jj had found out by a total accident a while ago, clocking your antsiness before you even did. you had stepped out for a breath of fresh air, not realizing that jj had followed you until you were mid hit and felt a presence behind you. while she had been disappointed, she knew that the oral fixation couldn’t be stopped if you weren’t chewing on your chewy necklace. you did your best to wear it, but sometimes the need for the nicotine buzz was stronger than your little necklace and you wanted to feel the dopamine. she sat with you outside while you tried to explain the way it made you feel, and she sat there the whole time and listened to you. she made you promise to lower the nicotine level, which you agreed to, but kept forgetting to go down whenever you stopped by the shop. 

despite the fear looming over you of disappointing emily, you couldn’t help but realize everything had been so easy with them. from communicating your needs to even just asking for them to sit with you. they made sure you were their number one priority. to this day, you were still scared of waking up in your dingy one bedroom all alone and still single. but now, here you were, slowly moving your stuff into their apartment and preparing to leave most of your old appliances at the local goodwill. it was a pleasant change, knowing you were moving somewhere nice and calm and where people supported your every move. where they wouldn’t yell at you when you forgot to refill the soap, or restock the cheese drawer after a grocery trip. 

shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you heard the bedroom door creak open and the padding of emily’s sock feet grew louder as you started smiling. 

“you’re up early,” emily beamed at you. “what’re you doing?”

“taking care of my girlfriends.” you shrugged. “cigs are on the table for you next to your window.” 

emily narrowed her eyes playfully at you. “you have a plan for today, don’t you?” 

“maybe i do, maybe i don’t.” you playfully smiled back at her. “you gotta wait for jayje to wake up.” 

“you know, you can be bad at hiding things sometimes.” emily came over to you and wrapped her arms around your waist. “you have the cheesiest grin on your face right now.” 

“can i not just make breakfast for my girlfriends when i want to?” 

emily placed a peck on your cheek, then captured your lips in a kiss. “you’re a devious little thing, lovey.” 

“and you adore me for it.”

“that i do.” 

you placed another kiss on emily’s lips before ushering her over to her window, grabbing the sheet pan of biscuits and slipping them into the oven. you relished these small moments with emily, where it was the two of you. you got these moments with jj at night, since emily typically stayed at the office later than you guys did. taking the mornings with just the two of you was something you tried to do more often than not, since you craved quality time with both of them. you loved having time with both of them together, but alone time with each of your girlfriends was something you cherished. you made sure to get emily’s coffee mug filled just the right amount and bought it over to the table, wrapping your arms around her from behind as the smoke flowed from between her lips. you had at least five more minutes before you had to start cooking the bacon and eggs, which meant you could sit with emily and bask in the moment. 

before you knew it, jj made her way into the kitchen, smiling widely as she came and wrapped her arms around you as you stood over the pan. your eyes momentarily closed as you leaned back into the blonde, letting her place a few kisses on your neck before turning around and capturing her in a kiss. you smiled at her before turning back to the bacon, making sure that side was crispy as you could get it before flipping it around. 

“what’s all this?”

“well… i uh, i had a plan for us today.”

you saw emily struggle to hold back a chuckle out of the corner of your eye.

“can you guys both be ready by nine thirty? no wait, be ready by nine fifteen and in the car by nine thirty because we need to be at the place by nine fifty in order to beat the crowds and get to where we need to be on time for our tickets because our tickets are for eleven.” you paused, looking at your girlfriends. “can you be ready by nine fifteen?” 

“i mean, yeah.” jj looked over to emily. “do you know the plan?”

“just that little miss over here woke up before us and i woke up with no blankets on me because in the midst of everything you stole all of them.” emily joked, poking her tongue out at jj. 

you started rocking up to the balls of your feet. “so um… there might be a new baby giraffe at the zoo and i might have gotten us tickets because i really really wanted to see the giraffes and they’re my favorites and they were running a sale because of the new baby and--” 

jj chuckled. “you are adorable, did you know that?” 

“is that a yes?”

“of course it's a yes, bubs.” jj placed a kiss on your cheek. “i’d love to go to the zoo with you.” 

“emmy?” you looked over to emily, the new nickname slipping out of your lips with ease. “can you come to the zoo with us? you’ll probably say no which is okay because i can always invite penelope or tara but-”

“why would you think i’d say no?” 

negative feelings overflowed your system as you remembered vividly the face that had been pulled when you asked to go to the zoo or do anything you considered fun. you felt yourself slipping into a dissociative state, fingers looking for something to stim on as you worked through your feelings. the harsh words of “why the fuck would you want to go to the zoo?” reverberated through as memories of one of your previous flings flew to the front of your mind. the shame you felt for wanting to enjoy your time together became unbearable and overwhelming, making you realize that your girlfriends could become annoyed with you like that and change their minds. what if they thought you were childish? what if they figured out you were too much for them?

emily looked over to jj. “did i say something?” 

“i don’t know. i don’t think so?” jj looked over to you, your eyes glazed over. “um.. shit wait, okay, i think they’re having an rsd episode, i’ll get their work bag. the marble fidget they use to calm down is in there.” 

emily scooted out from behind the table as she put her cigarette out, sneaking behind you to grab the pan off the stove before the bacon burned. she put her arms around you and pulled you close, running her hand up and down your back lightly as she waited for you to come out of your funk. she locked eyes with jj as she came back into the room, digging through the bag for the fidget toy in question, sticking it in your hands before you could start scratching at the side of your nails. a few minutes passed before you came back, the feeling of both emily and jj’s arms around you grounding you in the present, pushing the negative feelings to the back of your mind.

“‘m sorry.” 

“it's okay, lovey. do you want to talk about it?” 

“um… can you just… i’m not too much, right?” 

emily pulled back. “what makes you think that?” 

“whenever i asked about doing things that i liked, nobody really wanted to do them.” you looked down shamefully. “i shouldn’t have presumed you’d want to go with me.” 

“y/n y/l/n” blue eyes looked into your own. “you don't need to hide yourself with us. never hide yourself with us. you’re allowed to have your likes and act on them.” 

“but-”

“ah ah,” jj tilted your chin up, making you look at her. “don’t you dare.” 

it was almost as if a switch had been flipped in jj, her eyes darkening slightly as she stared at you. it caused your legs to turn to jelly, rendering you practically useless in your girlfriend's arms. you weren’t entirely sure what was happening, but it sent a wave of excitement through your veins. 

“we’re going to the zoo with you, we’re going to have fun, and we’re going to have a good day.” jj shot emily a ‘we need to talk about this’ glance before continuing. “go get dressed and ready for the day, we’ll finish our breakfasts and go enjoy the zoo.” she gave you a pointed look. “capeesh?”

all you could do was nod, your eyes widening in… whatever this feeling was that you were feeling. 

“words, y/n.”

“y-yes.” you swallowed. “okay.” 

jj smiled, switching back to her normal self and placing a kiss on your lips. “thank you for breakfast, by the way. it smells delicious.” 

you shyly smiled back. “i wanted you to be in a good mood before i asked you to go to the zoo.” 

emily pulled you in for a hug. “you never have to do anything for us to be in a good mood around you. we-” she paused. “there’s nothing you could do to put us in a foul mood.” 

“are you sure?”

“we’re sure. now go get ready, lovey, we’ll be up in a little bit when we finish our breakfast.” it was emily’s turn to kiss you. “don’t forget your meds.”

“oh shit, my meds!” 

emily and jj watched you run out of the room, both of the older women chuckling. emily wrapped her arms around jj, placing her head on her shoulder. 

“we’re going to need to work on talking about feelings, huh?” 

jj nodded. “it seems like it.” 

“would it be too much to castrate the exes who hurt them?” 

“uh… yes? we’re not castrating anyone.” jj lightly slapped emily’s arm. “go finish your bacon, we have places to be.” 

“we do need to have a serious talk with them about it, at some point.”

“yeah,” jj agreed. “lets just… they need to know we’re here for them. let’s focus on them the rest of the week and go from there.” 

emily nodded. “we’ll go from there.”

taglist: @jayden-prentiss

[premiumbitch]

꣑ৎ‎ LEONORA'S PORTAL OF WONDER ˖˚⊹

WELCOME TO MY PAGE ! ˖˚⊹

she/her. armenian. 15. LOA & SHIFTING. biggest dc fan ever.

My posts will cover topics like my desired realities, manifestation ideas/packs, shifting templates, shifting help (scripting wise), random thoughts, my personal manifestation plans & journey, and insights on my reality shifting journey.

I don’t appreciate my work being stolen or copied. If I find out you’ve done that, I’ll block and report you without hesitation. Use your own brain and come up with your own ideas instead of taking credit for someone else’s effort.

MY LINKS ! ₊˚⊹♡ (LINKTREE HAS ALL MY LINKS):

LEONORA ⋆˚࿔ | Linktree

IMPORTANT NOTE ! ₊˚⊹♡ :

I decided to put this here after receiving asks and DMs asking me to help with your LOA/MANIFESTATION journey and to tell you "how to manifest." Please stop. I am 15, not a professional, and not capable of giving you advice AT ALL. I don't want to say the wrong thing. I'm here to ONLY GIVE YOU IDEAS ON WHAT to manifest and to document my experience. I'm not here to give you the "how" because I'm still a 15-year-old girl who's new to LOA and don't want to say the wrong thing. I literally only found out about LOA in January of this year.

There are various resources, such as books, videos, EXPERIENCED Tumblr accounts, and online forums, where you can find valuable information and support from more experienced manifestors. Everyone's journey is unique, so take your time to discover what works best for you.

Also, I'm not here for you to vent to or complain to. In the nicest way possible: I have my own life to deal with and I don't give a shit. I will either ignore or block. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I always put myself & my journey first and I suggest you guys do too.

DO'S ! ₊˚⊹♡

request post ideas (but please don't rush me, I'm not permanently online, request and try to be patient.)

talk about (in a respectful manner) your opinions and ideas

share your best LOA and SHIFTING tips

DONT'S ! ₊˚⊹♡

No religious propaganda or comments.

no anti loa or shifting (obviously)

do not spread lies or rumors about me

No harassment or bullying

No nsfw comments

DON'T STEAL OR TAKE CREDIT FOR MY POSTS.

Don't give your unsolicited opinion about my drs or what I CHOOSE to script or post.

DNI ! ₊˚⊹♡

pedos

criminal sympathizers

Incest supporters

pro shippers/supporters

racist or hateful

ABOUT ME: ₊˚⊹♡

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ name : Leonora

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ age : 15

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ main drs: multiple batfamily drs, young justice dr, teen titans dr, other dc drs, k-pop drs, jjk dr, actress dr, singer dr,

Hi, I'm Leonora (or Leo)! You can call me by my full name or just Leo. I'm a 15-year-old girl with a passion for the Law of Assumption and shifting. I am planning on permashifting.

I create manifestation, shifting, and scripting packs to help you on your journey. I absolutely love writing and sharing my knowledge with others.

I love all colors but if I HAD to choose my picks would be red & pink!

Here are my top 8 favorite animals, in no particular order: Leopards, Lions, Tigers, Panthers, Wolves, Foxes, Bees, Dogs, Deer, Bunnies & Cats

DREAM SELF KITS: ₊˚⊹♡

DREAM SELF KIT MASTERLIST

RANDOM: ₊˚⊹♡

THINGS I'M MANIFESTING

ALL MY DRS

VOID STATE ATTEMPT

DETAILS ABOUT SOME OF MY DC DR'S

BEING A TUMBLR IT GIRL IN MY BTS DR

MANIFESTING // SHIFTING HELP: ₊˚⊹♡

SUPERPOWERS TO SCRIPT

HOW TO CREATE & THINK OF MOVIES TO SCRIPT IN YOUR DR

TRENDS TO START IN YOUR FAME DR

DIFFERENT TYPES OF KISSES TO SCRIPT YOU HAVE

TYPES OF FANS TO SCRIPT

SHIFTING SCRIPTS: ₊˚⊹♡

BETTER CR SHIFTING SCRIPT

[stealingyourbones]

Friendly challenge for you and those in the notes to share your top favorite DC media; be it comics, radio shows, video games, or shows: animated or live action

I love learning what people are passionate about

My favorites are: Batman the Animated Series, the live action Catwoman (including so you know I'm trash), Swamp Thing (2019), and Black Lightning

Oh absolutely!!!!!

Some of my absolute favorites:

Literally ANY The Brave and The Bold comics. Hero team ups make me so happy and they’re so fun to read.

Batman Universe. It’s a 6 part comic series and it’s delightful. If you like good Batman it’s up your alley. The interactions in it bring me joy

Batman White Knight. Comic

Superman the Radio Show (not recommended for folks with severe audio processing issues most eps have the quality of 40s audio i.e. bad. Remember it’s of its time!)

Batman: Unburied. Spotify podcast. Wonderfully written and damn good Elseworlds story

The Riddler: Secrets in The Dark. Spotify Podcast. For anyone who wants to get into the mind of a Gotham rogue it’s so fun I LOVE this version of the riddler sm.

Speedrunning the tv shows I like: Batman the Animated Series, Superman the Animated Series, Justice League Unlimited, Justice League Action, Batman the Brave and the Bold.

John Ostrander’s The Spectre comic run.

The current Flash run is super fun. Pick up literally any of those comics and read em y’all.

Animal Man by Grant Morrison. My fav comic of all time.

Animal Man (2011) comic run.

The New Frontier. animated movie

Any Batman and Judge Dredd crossover comic.

Plastic Man (2018)

[mikeywayarchive]

My Chemical Romance bassist Mikey Way has a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Comic with "anime inspired" art and a villain that goes back to the original '90s toys

By George Marston published June 24, 2024

Mikey Way is turning the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' greatest love into their worst enemy

Full article under the cut:

(Image credit: IDW Publishing)

My Chemical Romance is one of the most popular bands of the last 20 years, and in the time since their last official release, several of the group's multi-talented members have branched into comic storytelling - including bassist Mikey Way, whose latest comic is a short in the upcoming anthology comic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Black, White, and Green #2.

A veritable teen idol of his own thanks to My Chem's beloved presence in the punk and emo scene, Way is tapping into a deep-seated love of both the TMNT and their personal favorite food of pizza for a story that captures the youthful energy of the Turtles in a way that only someone who was there for their meteoric rise and pop culture presence could.

(Image credit: IDW Publishing)

"I was a massive Turtles fan as a kid! Being born in the '80s, wave one of Turtlemania hit when I was about eight years old, so safe to say I was all in," Way tells Newsarama. "My older brother was into the black & white comics early, so I was at least aware of the Turtles prior to that big boom, but my fandom really came alive with the original cartoon series." 

"Followed up by the Playmates toy line and then into the live action movie, it really checked every box imaginable for me," Way explains. "The characters and the world building had something for almost everyone. While I was initially into Michelangelo, (because of his name and the nunchucks) I grew into way more of a Raphael fan. He's got more layers as a character in my opinion."

(Image credit: IDW Publishing)

Way's brother is, of course, Gerard Way, singer of My Chemical Romance and founder of the DC imprint Young Animal, which published Mikey Way's first comic, Collapser, which was co-written by Shaun Simon with art by Ilias Kyriazis. For TMNT: Black, White, and Green, Way collaborated with artist Nikola Čižmešija and colorist Lee Loughridge, whose art you can see in the newly revealed pages from the story seen here.

"I love Nikola’s style so much!," Way says. "He has this fantastic anime inspired quality to his work, and it lends itself perfectly to a Ninja Turtles story. I was floored by his pencils and he was a pleasure to work with."

As for the content of the story itself, it all comes down to something that many fans of the TMNT probably love as much as the Turtles do themselves: pizza. Way brings in a classic villain, Pizza Face, who first appeared in the original TMNT toy line in 1990 as a villainous pizza chef, before being revived in the 2012 animated series as a mutated pizza blob.

(Image credit: IDW Publishing)

"I wanted to do a story that was an ode to '80s horror, with a nod to Candy Man or the urban legend of Bloody Mary," Way says of why he chose Pizza Face.

"The character of Pizza Face fascinated me as a kid, because he looked like the mascot on most Pizza boxes mixed with a 'Freddy' or 'Jason'," Way continues. "That mythology I created in my head as a kid really stuck with me. When the opportunity arose to write a Ninja Turtle story, it was literally the first thing that popped out of my head."

And yes, Mikey Way does have a favorite pizza place: 

"Star Tavern in Orange New Jersey. Hands down the greatest there is, in my opinion."

(Image credit: IDW Publishing)

Though Way's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Green story is only eight pages, Way does plan more comics to come very soon - though he's not quite ready to say exactly what just yet.

"I feel like I have more stories that I want to tell," he hints. "At the risk of sounding vague, I would say one can expect an announcement of some sort very soon."

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Black, White, and Green #2 is on sale now.

[the-fyre-flie]

Hey there! How much do you know about Ra's? I'm so sane about him

Literally nothing- the only Ra's content I've seen is the animated SuperSons movie- I really liked him in it tho! I thought he was very interesting! I'm very new to the DC/Batman fandom and I've been fixated on Bruce Centric animated movies and shows since those are my favorite medium! I'm so so willing to hear any recommendations for comics, movies, or fan work!!!

If anyone wants to recommend content about their favorite DC character, please do! I'm specifically looking for anything that has Batman/Green Arrow/The Flash crossovers hehe

[mydreambatfam]

Damian Wayne: DC's Shonen Protagonist. Confused by the Masses

Beyond Tumblr places like Instagram, YouTube, Reddit, and more have lost a plot of Damian Wayne.

Just like Tumblr having their own fanon ideas of him, it seems those other places have the same problem.

Tumblr, obviously the easy understanding of our perspective is going straight to the Wayne Family Adventures webtoon. As most of the characterization is straight from Tumblr since 2012.

On Instagram, Damian perceived as a glorified Naruto figure, where he's able to beat anybody and everybody. It's mostly stems from kids who grew up with the New 52 inspired DC animated movies (DCAMU).

On Reddit, when discourse is not given, Damian It's seen as a Messiah figure. Seen as the absolute best of all the Robin's and deserving to be superior to all of them. And while other posts have pushback, it's obvious that it's the same biased mindset as every other subreddit has on their favorite character.

YouTube is an unusual one. With people on YouTube having the problem solving skills of an infant, Damian is seen as a divisive character. On one side his portrayal it Injustice alone has garnered him eternal hate from DC fans on YouTube. On the other hand, DCAMU strikes again garnering him this undeserved appeal. With many of the people discussing never really referencing any sort of material besides the video games in the in the movies.

Because of this James Gunn rides a razors edge with how he needs to adapt Damian Wayne proper. So many ideas, but never really realizing the whole picture of the character.

[pinkiemachine]

hey!! i saw some of ur posts on my feed, and im just wondering, what is the gotham files series u have going on? is it like a recap of the storyline or something else? :3

So Batman: Gotham Files is the name of a tv show pitch of mine. Basically, if Warner Bros. came over to me and said, “Here’s the DC franchise, go nuts,” I would then begin to create a new DC Animated Universe, starting with Wonder Woman: Heir to Olympus—Wonder Woman’s first ever animated tv series. At first, it would have two seasons, and then we’d move on to Dawn of Superman, which would also go for two seasons, before finally reaching Batman: Gotham Files. It would also go for two seasons, and then we would launch Justice League: Heroes Rising for one, maybe two seasons as well, and then The Mighty Teen Titans for two seasons. From then on, it gets very complicated, because not only are we going to continue making seasons for DoS, HtO, Gotham Files, Heroes Rising, and TT, but we’d also kick off a Flash show, a Green Lantern show, and possibly an Aquaman show, but I’m still figuring that one out at the moment. Not to mention, there would be mini series too. Like, Supergirl’s Lost in Space years, and Red Hood and the Outlaws, and then there’s Young Justice as well. I’m still in the process of making a detailed timeline that tracks everything and keeps the ages and events straight, but it’s coming along.

Why am I doing all this writing? Well, let’s put it this way: I walked into this big, old Victorian Manor, and it was full-to-bursting with junk. There’s a lot of really good, really cool stuff in there, but it’s over-crowded, there’s mold growing, there might be some rats, and it DESPERATELY needs to be cleaned out. This is a metaphor. This was me when I tried to walk into DC. A normie, just trying to enjoy the franchise. I looked at the comics… and they’re a mess of conflicting timelines, retcons, reboots, world-ending events, changing backstories, and so many characters that it is dizzying. Then I looked for something more digestible, like the tv shows or movies.

…

I did not like the movies.

I like the OG Teen Titans cartoon…

That’s basically it.

I’m trying to watch Justice League, the animated series right now, I’ve seen the original Superman film from the 70s, I’m starting to watch the live action Lois and Clark show from the 90s, I want to get into Batman the animated series, but 1: a lot of these shows don’t feature all the characters from the comics, especially the ones I’d like to see depicted in a show, and 2: they’re all disconnected from one another, with conflicting backstories and different takes on different characters.

I am tired. It is so much work to just try and get into the DC fandom. Let alone stay there.

So I took it upon myself to perform a public service. I told myself, I would roll up my sleeves and write a new DCAU from the ground up. One where even the most normal of normies could jump in and learn about these much-beloved characters and enjoy them. One where the timeline was untangled and there’s a proper beginning, middle, and satisfying end. I will tell the most complicated interwoven story in the history of television just to appease my need for organisation in this forsaken franchise!

…

I feel passionate about things…

Anyway, hope this clears everything up :)

Gotham Files post 1 👇

[jinxfriend]

Introduction to my blog!

Info Speedrun! (★^_^★)

I go by mainly Jinx (I am sadly not an arcane fan) i'm thinking about going by Jamie too in the future,

Nonbinary, Aroace/Demiromantic, Mayhaps Polyamorous

Infp/Enfp

I MIGHT be neurodivergent

Reality shifter, I believe in Spirits/Ghosts and manifestation and have my own experiences with them,

i apologize to my non-shifter moots im definitely going to be reblogging stuff about it or make my own posts on it 😭

I am 16 so i apologize if i ever did interact with any nfsw blogs or blogs with 'Minors Dni' in them, feel free to unfollow me 🙏 /nm

My birthday is january 12!!

I’ve moved to tumblr from TikTok because of the ban (˶°ㅁ°) i’m still getting used to the features, culture, and etiquette so please be patient and educate me if i do anything annoying/wrong! ALSO my tiktok is oldcatsnbeetles, any moots from tiktok PLEASE MOOT ME HERE 🙏

I would love to make more moots on tumblr also! don’t be afraid to give me song or fic recs, ask questions about my interests or beliefs and just interact with general! i might not be able to explain reality shifting or manifestation well but i can definitely give you some good sources/blogs!

this will get updated regularly as the time pasts and my interests change ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Fandom List, i’ll probably add more as time goes on: Undertale, Deltarune, GRAVITYFALLS, Marvel (i know basically nothing about it but i love the fanfics) X-men (same thing as marvel) The owl house, Bob’s burgers, over the garden wall, steven universe, adventure time, smiling friends!! Big Top Burger, Good omens, the good place, the amazing digital circus, five nights at freddys and batman/dc stuff (same thing as marvel and x-men) the spiderverse movies, ouran highschool hostclub, dungeon meshi/delicious in dungeon, MY HERO ACADEMIA, assassination classroom, the disastrous life of saiki k, mob psycho, Dandadan i am aware of hazbin’s hotel’s existence

if its pink i adore it and its my entire personality, if its blue i know about it and probably watched it, if its green i only know fandom stuff/things in fics

Favorite characters:

My hero Academia: Shinso, Deku, Nezu,

Marvel/X-men idk: Spiderman (Specifically Tom Holland’s spiderman and Andrew Garfield’s Spiderman), Loki, Dr Strange, Deadpool, Wolverine

Gravityfalls: Waddles, Mabel and Dipper, that one guy that says ‘get em!! get em!!’ Bill Cipher, The Axolotal

Other: The Cheshire Cat, Garfield

Kins: Mabel and dipper, Vee from the owl house, Tina from bob’s burger, Papyrus and sans, Mob from mob psycho, Kinger from TADC, Spinel from Steven universe, Izuku midoriya, bmo from adventure time, UHH A BUNCH OF OTHERS

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Music Tastes, oh gosh this is going to be hard: Stereolab, Adrianne Lenker, Kimya dawson, I.C.P, Lemon demon, Strawberry Switchblade, Rob Zombie, Will Wood

Honorable Mentions: Toby Fox, S3RL, Alex G, Gorillaz, Ayesha Erotica, Boa, Liana Flores, Lady Gaga, Fiona Apple, Scary Bitches

Genres: Old 80s Rock, 2000s, Scene, Goth vampires music, Old 3ds game music (specifically animal crossing new leaf) theres probably alot more i can’t think of atm

Current Favorite Song: Dead Girl Superstar by rob zombie

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Games: Obscure 3ds and xbox games, animal crossing new leaf AND I GUESS new horizons, Tomodachi life #TomodachiLifeForSwitch, Miitopia, Pikmin, Wobble Dogs, Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Slime Rancher, Ooblets, Bugsnax, Spiritfarer, Terraria, Cult of the lamb, Cattails, Omori, Viva Piñata

If its Pink i’ve been playing it for all my life or i just really adore that game, If its blue i’ve played it briefly/And or completed it, if its green ive played it once or only know fandom stuff about it

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Other interests

Bugs, Aliens, Expensive Etsy Keychains/Stickers, Art, Louis Wein Cats, Fashion, Cats in general, Colorful stuff, Rainbows, Sparkles

Aesthetics/Fashion: Scene, Kidcore/Clowncore, Twee

Reality Shifting Stuff:

My drs currently are: Mha dr thats also mixed with marvel, dc, x-men and a bunch of other stuff, and an alternate version of that dr where im a vigilante :D,

My drs also have soulmate elements and a bunch of other stuff

I definitely will make an introduction post for each dr!

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

DNI:

Basic Dni, Proshippers of any kind, Race Changers, Anti-Shifters, Mabel, Bakugo, and Ochako haters, people who don’t support Palestine, Terfs, Homophobic and transphobic people, AI ART DEFENDERS/USERS

INTERACT:

Reality Shifters, People who like my interests / Music tastes, Non-Shifters who don’t care and are respectful, Gay people,

MOOT ME UP RN:

Mha Shifters, Gravityfall shifters, Furrys, Therians, Kemonomimi people, People who believe in manifestation, Witchs, Pagens, Spiritual People, People who practice Hellenism, Neurodivergent people, Artists, Boring People, Weird/Nerdy/Cringe People, People who want to be teachers in the future/want to work with children/teens, cat lovers, FANFIC READERS🔥🔥

This is a safe space for systems!!

i don’t know much about DID besides the basics, but i do have some friends/moots who have it!

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Tags:

Shifting Related:

#Vigilante Mha/Marvel dr

anything that i post/reblog about my vigilante dr, my dr also includes dc, xmen, danny phantom etc

#Hero Mha/Marvel dr

same world as my vigilante dr but im a hero and have a different path in life! this was actually the original version and my vigilante dr was an alternate universe of this dr, but i became more focused on my vigilante dr so ill probably talk about that one more!

#Gravityfalls Dr

anything i post about my gravityfalls dr! this dr also includes, danny phantom, the owl house, inside job, UHH star vs the forces of evil, and more! im still figuring things out for this dr so i probably won’t post about it until im certain in my pondering

#shifting/spirituality ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

shifting reposts, motivation, memes etc, tarot, witchcraft, manifestation and more

#mine or other people’s mha drs

#this reminds me of my dr

Other/Misc:

#i heart gravityfall / mha / marvel / xmen / dc

any reblog of that media, i might forget to tag my reblogs sometimes woopsies

#helpful advice ᯓ★ / Tumblr Help

just anything i think would be helpful, there some shifting advice in here too

#HI MOOT/MOOTIE ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

i usually tag this on my friends/close moots posts when i reblog them! i might sometimes forget to or forget ur my moot so apologies in advance 😭

#pretty pictures (ᵒ̤̑ ₀̑ ᵒ̤̑)

aesthetic stuff, comics, art, etc also idk why the kaomoji is messed up on the computer 💔

#i agree

this is usually on posts that make an argument, is a ‘hot topic’ or opinion i agree with

#so me coded

#random polls

#this is so cool?!

theres probably more i used but these are the main ones!

Links:

some will be added in the future!

ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰ ty for reading!!

[paradiscake]

DMC Questions Anon here!

What sort of things would the DMC characters be into? What would their favorite medias be, who would their favorite characters be, their favorite dynamics, their favorite ships? Favorite things about it? Would they try and have any involvement in the fandom space online? If so, what sort of involvement?

Dante is a huge fan of videogames. He's played a variety of games since he could but these days, he leans toward action and fighting games. And hack and slash! God of War would be one of his faves and he approves of Kratos's character development unlike some other fans. If he had the time, he would argue with fans about it. But he most likely doesn't, he sees enough toxicity as it is. He consumes other pieces of media (books and movies) on occasion but videogames are his passion hobby. He likes every character.

Trish also loves videogames when Dante introduced her to them. She likes the stuff Dante "grew out of" like the more adventure fantasy. And she would love RPGs, especially Final Fantasy. And Baldur's Gate 3. Tifa Lockheart is one of her favorite characters.

Vergil is a bookworm for sure. He already loves poetry but if he would have gotten into fantasy, especially high fantasy like Tolkien. He actually read The Hobbit, and the songs and whimsical vibes really appealed to him. But Mundus attacked before he could get to LotR and The Silmarillion. He can still get into them after DMC5. He's not usually fond of movie but he would watch the LotR movies and fall in love immediately. He wouldn't admit to it though. I also think he likes GRRM's A Song of Ice and Fire a lot. The whole political aspect of it and the grimness would appeal to him. He would personally hunt GRRM to learn the true ending. Vergil would hate the HBO adaptations. His fave character would be Daenerys obviously. From LotR, he would love Aragorn the best.

Post-DMC5 Vergil would get into a lot of heated debates in fandom esp the ASOIAF side. So his fandom access is permanently revoked by the family for his own and their sanity.

Trish gets him to play videogames but Vergil only likes Baldur's Gate lol.

Lady used to watch anime before but at some point grew out of it. She loved Bleach and Revolutionary Girl Utena. Her favorite characters was Utena. She watched WWE for a while as an adult but grew out of that too. She's a huge sports fan in general and follows the sports news as vigorously as she can. Sometimes, she plays videogames with Dante and Trish. She slowly gets to like them.

Nero is a comic book nerd, like very into DC and Marvel. The access to such entertainment was banned in Fortuna but after getting out, it was like a dam broke and he's addicted to them now. Batman and the adjacent characters are his faves. He gets into shipping discourse a lot.

[tmnt-tychou]

What is Ninja Turtles: Brotherhood?

Brotherhood came into conception February 2023 when we started to see more of the Mutant Mayhem movie set to release later in August. While I don't mind the franchise skewing young--I myself first saw Ninja Turtles as a child-- I found myself wishing there was also some TMNT animated content for older fans. At the time I was watching DC animated series like Young Justice and Harley Quinn. It was nice they recognized that there were fans of all ages and they were putting out animated content for older audiences while also making content for kids. I found myself wishing that TMNT would follow that example. And then I asked myself, if I had the opportunity to make a TMNT animated series for older fans, what would it be about? At first, I had nothing and wasn't intending to explore the idea further. Then, one day, I was driving home from work and I suddenly had an idea.

For most of 2023 I explored the concept. Since animation is my background, that was the medium I had in mind when putting it together. Of course, there's no way I could animate a whole series by myself as a fan project. I first thought about maybe trying animatics, but that also seemed a bit overwhelming. For a time, I thought maybe I would let it go as it seemed too big of a project for one person. But then the 40th anniversary came around and I decided I wanted to do it for them. For a lifetime of turtles. So I decided on a web toons type format. It seemed easier as a one-person project than the typical comic book format. So here I am after a year of development, attempting my best at putting out a TMNT fan comic for the anniversary. It's meant as a love letter to both the franchise as a whole and the fans. It pulls from many different iterations while also telling its own story. As such, it's meant for not just fans of one iteration, but for fans of any of the iterations. Just Ninja Turtle fans in general. And I'm aiming to provide a full character arc for each turtle so, no matter who's your favorite, you'll get some good content.

Plot: The series takes place five years after the defeat of the Shredder. In a story meant for older fans, I decided the turtles should be older, too. No longer teenagers, they are now 25. The idea is that everything that you expect to see in a typical TMNT series has already happened to them, and now they are navigating their world and experiencing new adventures as adults, trying to find meaning after their main adversary is gone.

You can find development art I've done over the year by checking out the #ntbrotherhood tag. I post new parts every Monday. And I usually post here on Tumblr unless I feel they are too big. You can find the full comic collected on Webtoons (for as long as they'll put up with hosting a fan comic.)

The Boys:

[physalian]

On Fight Scenes (Or, getting creative with your magic system)

This is coming from a reader’s perspective, not a writer’s, in what I like to see and what my thought process was when writing my fight scenes—I hate these things and can’t call myself any authority on the matter. They’re tedious and translating what’s in my head onto page is always frustrating.

This is also for fantasy and sci-fi: Fight scenes that have some magical or technological element to them, not a straight-up action story with two dudes punching each other. This includes anything from fights in Harry Potter to battling a Xenomorph to bending in ATLA to a throwdown between superheroes.

Side note: I really, truly hate “two dudes punching each other”.

—

I have a friend who loves comics, specifically DC Comics, and watches all the DCAU films. When we lived together, I often watched a lot with them. My favorite remains Constantine: City of Demons because unlike literally every other DCAU movie, it doesn’t drop the ball in the third act and devolve into a stakes-less fistfight. This dude faces *consequences*.

I’m not a comics (like actual, paper comic books) fan, but without fail, every time the setup is good, the characters are good, the first 2/3s are good with pacing and usually a mystery and passable character development like Batman: Under the Red Hood…. The last 15 minutes or so always abandon what had been a good plot for just superheroes punching each other and I get so bored. I’m invested and then they rarely deliver any payoff.

But I do like Constantine. Dude needs a nap.

Point is: On top of those fight scenes not really mattering, by the nature of what comic books are in that they can never stray too far from the status quo, or if they do, it doesn’t stay that way for long, the people who made these characters don’t get all that creative with their powers.

I think, actually, I liked Constantine so much because his stuff is rated R and it doesn’t shy away from the more realistic effects of living in a superhero society… without being gratuitous like The Boys.

I just get bored. The fight stops when the plot says so. Knockouts are arbitrary, power scaling is arbitrary. Someone can get thrown through a wall and walk it off but the villain or their buddy can come up behind them and hit them really hard on the head and that’s enough.

Anime is its own thing and would take far too much time to address here but I do want to talk about My Hero Academia real quick, following up on a previous post about tournament arcs.

Season 2 of the show has three main arcs: The tournament in the first half, and the Stain fight/final exams in the second.

For a while, the show actually seemed to take injuries rather seriously (for shonen, at least), and got insanely creative with characters’ very niche powers. In season 1, their teacher, Aizawa, gets pretty brutally beaten by a horde of villains and his powers are permanently impacted by his recovery—he can’t use them for as long as he used to, and he has a new scar.

Midoriya, too, whose powers break his bones on the regular, has consequences for overusing them, like his hands and forearms not healing properly despite superpowered medical intervention.

Power scaling, too, was fantastic…. Until the Stain fight.

I will never understand the thought process behind this logic:

“Hey let’s show how powerful Todoroki is by having him manifest an entire glacier in about 3 seconds!” *9 episodes later* “Hey let’s make this fight with a dude who only has various blades to work with super tense by making Todoroki completely nerfed in a legit life or death situation!”

Buddy couldn’t take two seconds to yell at his friends to get the fuck out of the way? Was he worried about damage to the buildings? I feel like nepotism could have spared him from some consequences if breaking a few windows meant him not getting murdered. It wasn’t like he had daddy issues over his ice powers.

The rest of the show (until I DNFed) had similar issues. Powers were as competent as the plot allowed at any given moment, which I guess is the nature of shonen, but if you’re going to go out of your way to establish realistic rules and consequences really early on, breaking them willy-nilly because it looks cool later is annoying.

Which is applicable across all fantasy sub-genres: Consistency.

I might not be the best at writing the step-by-step choreography, but damn it if I don’t know how to make sure I’m not opening up plot holes in how much damage my characters take and dish out.

—

So. How I approach fight scenes as told by Eternal Night and my sci-fi WIP.

Before anything else, establish a reason that this has to be a fight, that it has to happen now, and what’s happening beneath the combat to keep the story progressing. The plot will not stop just for fisticuffs.

A magic system is only as cool as what its characters cannot do with it, and breaking those limits ruins the magic system.

Make sure this is a fight that can only happen in this story, taking full advantage of the various powers/abilities/magic system rules, if this is meant to be flashy and grand.

Eternal Night is about vampires, thus my vampires, being immortal, can take a lot of hits and not suffer long-term consequences compared to a mortal. I adhere to a lot of classic vampire lore while also making up my own rules. They don’t have super speed, super strength, or compulsion, they just have a lot of experience and know how to use their weapons well, and can essentially go at 100% without mortal limitations of fatigue.

Basically: My vampires are only as strong as a mortal in absolute life-or-death situations, but that’s also dependent on how strong they were in life. Somebody who was a couch potato isn’t going to be as strong as a bodybuilder, and that carries over. I don’t have “younger/older vampires are supernaturally stronger” rules.

They have the same immortality risks as most versions: Stakes, beheadings, sunlight. Anything else is survivable.

Simple magic systems tend to be the most robust because there’s less rules available to risk breaking or forgetting (why ATLA's bending feels so real).

So when I was writing ENNS’s big fight, on top of making sure they weren’t all gods with their weapons—they missed shots, got tired, made bad calls—priority one was making sure I kept killing blows consistent, and when they’re temporarily “dead,” that the timing of when they revive isn’t determined by the plot.

Meaning: If I have a vampire who, idk, gets stabbed by a regular sword and it “kills” them, they have to stay “dead” for whatever amount of time I’d previously established and not wake them up early to participate in the plot again. Those are my rules and I have to work with them.

And in that way, yes the choreography is frustrating, but even if it’s an average description of a fight, I will appreciate that the writer respects their own rules and still be entertained.

With that, in the sci-fi WIP I had incredibly complex and diverse magic systems, 3 complete and unique practices split between two characters. One of which was incredibly OP.

This was a very reluctant OP character who wouldn’t use the full extent of his powers even to save his own life, often to the ire of his team who suffers the consequences of unnecessarily complicated battles when he could one-shot the enemy but chooses not to.

Internal limits tend to be stronger than external ones if you have an OP character, because they’re more believably toggled on and off without breaking the lore.

Even with OP character stubbornly making life harder for himself, he was still OP. He had two different magic systems at his disposal, and beyond his internal limits, they had two very easily exploitable external limits.

Magic system A was tied to a physical artifact he had on his person. If he got separated from it, he couldn’t use it. A is also a lot harder to use if B is also busted.

Magic system B was counteracted easily by users of Magic system A, and by the enemy military who’d developed weapons specifically to nullify those powers, and that weapon was everywhere.

Which meant my fights concerning OP character were rarely “why doesn’t he insta-kill them” it was “oh shit, he can’t insta-kill them, now he has to be clever to get out of this alive”.

One of my favorite fights was at the tail end of Book 2 where he was stuck with two of his non-powered teammates, on a ship dead in the water being overrun by the enemy. The ship had no power, the radios were dead, and the engines were fried.

He had already been sick for half the book and physically and mentally exhausted, and when the enemy arrived, they nullified the rest of his powers. All he had was Magic System A, but in his condition, it was like being asked to do long division on paper by hand, because his calculator was broken.

Dude was not having a good time.

Which meant he was basically useless, with two of his basically useless teammates, who all had to work together to get creative and clever with the tools that they had, on a ship they all knew like the backs of their hands.

So many things they would not have had to do in any other situation, with stakes so much higher because OP was powerless. The characters came first, not their powers, which I think is the most crucial ingredient to any fight you want people to keep talking about for years to come.

—

I can’t tell you how to choreograph your scenes, but I do think that why they’re fighting matters far more than what they’re fighting about, and especially in fantasy: What’s the point of writing magic if you don’t take full advantage of your magical characters?

[apeekintothepantry]

Happy Pokémon Day! February 27th is the anniversary of the first two Pokémon games’ release in Japan, and it’s a minor holiday in my house, as a fun excuse to make Pokémon inspired food, watch some Pokémon shows or movies (we’re going to watch Netflix’s new Pokémon Concierge this year!), and get excited about upcoming games and releases. This year, we’re making a Pokémon Sword and Shield inspired burger-steak curry and I’m making a dessert from the Pokémon Cookbook by Victoria Rosenthal. It’s one of my favorite fandom cookbooks – all the recipes are vegetarian or vegan, to get around the awkward question of where does the meat in the Pokémon universe come from?

But that’s not all we’re making! Ever since Nicki and Isabel were released, I’ve been dying to do a post about them and Pokémon’s infamous “Jelly Filled Doughnuts”, better – and more accurately! – known as onigiri.

Pokémon was released in the United States in 1998 via two Gameboy games: Pokémon Red and Pokémon Blue. The games quickly caught on to be one of the biggest pop culture phenomenon of the late 90’s and early 00’s, and as a kid at the heart of this explosion, I can’t overstate how much of a big deal it was. One of the great things about Pokémon – and probably why it has such lasting, widespread appeal – is that there are so many ways to interact with the franchise, and the marketing doesn’t skew hugely towards one gender or the other. Cool, tough Pokémon like Charizard got pretty similar billing to cute, pink Pokémon like Jigglypuff, and there were so many options for potential favorites that it was easy for any kid to find some creature to attach themselves to.

One of my petty complaints with Nicki and Isabel’s collection and books is the almost complete lack of mention of Pokémon and other anime that was really popular among kids in 1999. I know AG probably didn’t want to shell out for licensing deals with Nintendo or The Pokémon Company, but their stories just don’t feel accurate without discussing their prized binder of Pokémon cards or begging their parents to take them to see the Pokémon movie in theaters. Maybe the authors were just a little too old to get caught up in Pokémania?

I’ve also always thought its close overlap with the Beanie Babies crazy helped get millennial children like me very into the “gotta catch ‘em all” aspect of the franchise. Is this why I’m such a crazy toy collector as an adult? Who knows.

The Pokémon anime was one of the main ways kids like me got hooked on the franchise, because not everyone was allowed to have a Gameboy of their own (me), and not everyone liked video games, but even if you didn’t like video games, the cartoon might appeal to you. Although it was far from the first Japanese cartoon to air on US television, Pokémon was one of if not the first truly mainstream favorites of the 1990’s. 4Kids, the company in charge of dubbing the show into English, decided that American kids wouldn’t understand or be open to certain aspects of the show that reflected its Japanese roots, and so made a lot of strange choices in rewriting the script. One of the most notorious was deciding Brock’s rice balls were actually jelly filled doughnuts:

Onigiri – also known as omusubi or nigirimeshi – are balls of rice with a variety of fillings inside. They’re often compared to sandwiches, as an easy, quick, cheap meal or snack that combines carbs and other ingredients. While the concept of taking a rice ball and stuffing it full of other tasty treats goes way back to ancient Japan, the triangle shape became popular in the 1980’s thanks to a new machine that automated the filling process. Further developments over the last 40 years have created unique ways to prepackage onigiri without making the nori wrapping sticky. The ones we made were an attempt at recreating the “Hawaiian” (spam and pineapple) rice balls from our favorite food hall back in DC. One of my favorite pandemic indulgences was getting take out from the food hall, which often included a sampler of some of my favorite onigiri, and I haven’t been able to find anything close to similar where we are now. One of the many reasons I’m excited to move!

Even as a kid, I wasn’t convinced the food in the anime was fried dough with fruit jelly inside, because they sure look like rice. I also think 4Kids didn’t anticipate that Pokémon’s widespread popularity would inspire many of its fans – including me – to become absolutely obsessed with Japanese food and culture. I would’ve been more excited if they’d just been straight with me and shown more Japanese food on the show, and then probably begged my parents to make it or take me to a restaurant that made it. While I can’t confidently cite numbers of how many other people were first exposed to Japanese culture and food through Pokémon and franchises like it, I do think it’s a bit of a missed opportunity to highlight how things like this exposed kids like Nicki and Isabel to parts of a culture outside their own!

[andthendk]

hey! since the tomorrowverse is officially finished with the crisis on infinite earths trilogy, do you think there's any chance we'll ever see damirae in any dc movies again?🥺

I honestly think we'll have to see how Gunn's DCU unfolds, because DC's rly notably trying to center things on that (aside from comics but comics have always been independent work) - see how they're wrapping things up real quick while we're in a massive limbo rn outside of continued series/shows because they've yet to unveil the new universe's finelines just yet 🫠🫠 a LOT is at stake with that first Superman movie,,,,,, from what I know they don't have concrete plans for the next animated movie universe either (if they plan on it being a universe at all, after crisis "erased" most of it). Though I keep WISHING something new comes up on SDCC...this is why I keep joking that our fandom has to be more obnoxious about what we want rn lmao

Jokes aside though, Damirae isn't a minor ship I'm sure a lot of ppl wish it were and Damian and Raven as characters are widely known & popular so it's a never say never deal. Continuous multiverse has its merits?!? Funnily enough, both characters have 39392 different interpretations across all content so it depends on who wants to pick up this spaghetti code and make it work 🤷‍♀️ I do have high hopes though, because Gunn's favorite characters are Raven and Damian, as the guy has mentioned himself 🥹🍀🍀🍀 at the very least we should expect to see them both on screen, and us humble folk will pick up the crumbs lmao 👍🏻 fingers crossed🍀🍀🍀!!!!!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The 20 Best Films of 2024 (And the 10 Worst)

I fucking love movies.

Most people following me know that on some level, but I haven’t really showcased that love in a long while. Over the past couple of years I felt really drained and unmotivated, and my review series I did all petered out. And it made me sad. I WANT to share my opinions, I WANT to talk about things I’m passionate about! So I decided about halfway through 2024 I was going to do something big to bring my blog back: Watch as many new releases from 2024 as possible so that I could make an end of year ranking of my favorite movies!

Since I decided to do this halfway through the year, it made watching the films I actually wanted to see fairly easy since everything was able to be pira—er, watched completely legally on various streaming platforms. Max and Prime were big helps, as was Netflix towards the end of the year when my wife got it for her yearly month-long binge of Christmas films. My only rule was that the film needed to have a wide release in 2024—a few films had festival screenings in previous years, but I counted them for the purposes of my list. This also, sadly, meant Better Man and Wallace & Gromit were ineligible (but they’ll likely be ion my 2025 list near the top).

I gave myself a little leeway and extended my deadline to mid January just so I could make sure I didn’t miss anything I really wanted to see, as well as so I could watch movies from other years. I managed to watch 77 newly released films, and while I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to I was incredibly happy with what I did see.

This was a really good year for queer films and horror. For the former, I watched four different movies with queer themes with three of them focusing on trans folks, and of those four three were extremely good! In fact, two of them made this list, and one that didn’t—The People’s Joker—is still a fantastic work that puts a fresh spin on well-worn characters while telling a coming-of-age story! With the latter, we just got some truly fun and inventive films that showcased what the genre can do in the hands of skilled filmmakers; even more flawed horror films like Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus were still really good and fun, albeit held back by some glaring and often frustrating issues (CGI necromancy for the latter, AI generated image use and a shitty finale for the former).

Surprisingly, this was also a decent year for superhero cinematic universes, mainly because they all slowed the fuck down. Marvel released a single film—Deadpool & Wolverine—which managed to be a fun crowd-pleaser as well as releasing the wonderfully witchy Agatha All Along to Disney+. DC put out two shows this year, The Penguin for the Reeves elseworlds and Creature Commandos as the animated debut of the new main DC film universe’s continuity; the former is a fantastic crime drama full of excellent performances that gives one of the best portrayals of Batman’s most versatile villain yet seen, while the latter is a decent-but-nothing-too-special ultra violent animated series. Both studios are looking to have interesting futures, and at any rate they’re both doing way better than Sony, who not only gave us now news on Spider-Verse but also shat out the three worst films in their already abysmal cinematic universe. Honestly, I think creating a six film run in a cinematic universe where none of the movies are good is an incredible feat!

But most of all, this was a great year for women. Most of my favorite performances of the year came from immensely talented actresses giving it their all: Mikey Madison, Margaret Qualley, Kathryn Hahn, Aubrey Plaza, Anya Taylor-Joy, Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Lauren LaVera, Alisha Weir, Liza Soberano, Kathryn Newton, Naomi Scott, Willa Fitzgerald, Lupita Nyong’o, Kristen Stewart, Cristin Milioti… The Ladies were killing it this year. Three stand above all the others for me, however. The first is Zendaya who, between Dune and Challengers cemented herself as one of my favorite actresses; the second is Lily Rose-Depp, who with Nosferatu gave a performance so good it completely erased Yoga Hosers from my mind; and finally there is Demi Moore in The Substance, who gave the best performance of the whole year, hands down.

Before we get into the top 20, let me just give a brief rundown of my ten honorable mentions. If there wasn’t a 30 image limit, I probably would’ve covered these, but oh well. Lisa Frankenstein is a shockingly charming and macabre directorial debut from Zelda Williams and a welcome return to form for Diablo Cody; Blink Twice is a gripping psychological horror thriller dealing with themes like gaslighting, sexism, and wealthy tech bros abusing women (a very topical subject) and features perhaps the best performance of Channing Tatum’s career; Smile 2 is a wonderfully crushing downer of a horror film, with a fantastic lead performance from Naomi Scott; Trap is M. Night going full goofy with a black comedy about a serial killer who keeps rolling nat 20s on his persuasion checks; Rite Here Rite Now is a kickass concert film for the band Ghost with story bits interwoven, and features a Scooby-Doo homage music video for “Mary on a Cross,” finally embracing their role as goofy Scooby-Doo chase music; Juror #2 is a fantastic late-career film from Clint Eastwood that features a fantastic performance from Nicolas Hoult, though it unfortunately released in a year where the guy had even better performances; Strange Darling is a dark thriller told out of older that is incredibly stylish but maybe a bit too full of itself; Road House is an awesomely stupid remake that fully embraces the goofy spirit of the Swayze original while telling its own story, complete with cartoonish logic and fights; The Wild Robot is a great (but a bit overhyped) found family story; and Love Lies Bleeding is basically Drive for lesbians with macrophilia, fulfilling the sort of niche none of us knew existed but we should be thankful is around. I’d also like to shout out two contenders that would have been higher if not for glaring issues—Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus. The former has numerous moments that break the immersion of its setup and an absolutely terrible finale, while the latter employs CGI to bring a dead actor back to life and leans far too heavily on nostalgia for much of the middle portion of the movie. Both are still really good, but their glaring issues hold them back.

Now, onto the main event! Keep in mind, this is all just my opinion and not the objective list of what's best and worst, and you're free to agree or disagree as you see fit:

20. The Fall Guy

I really loved Bullet Train and Deadpool 2 is a really solid superhero sequel that might actually be funnier than the original, so it’s safe to say David Leitch is a director I enjoy. Now, how about throwing in Ryan “Literally Me” Gosling instead of Brad “Wife Beater” Pitt as the lead and also throwing in Emily Blunt, Winston Duke, and giving Aaron Taylor-Johnson a chance to actually act? You’ve got yourself a fun, funny little stunt extravaganza. It doesn’t quite reach the highs of Bullet Train but it gets pretty close, and if nothing else it managed to convince me Kiss didn’t suck for the duration of its runtime (they play “I Was Made for Lovin’ You” about every five minutes, and it honestly rules every time).

19. I Saw the TV Glow

I sometimes worry I’m not going to be able to pick up on metaphors or allegories, no matter how obvious. I watch a lot of horror and superhero movies, y’know? Simple stuff. I worry it makes me too stupid. But I was able to fully grasp the trans allegory of this movie, and absolutely loved it and thought it enhanced the narrative. Justice Smith absolutely kills it here; the dude is great at playing mumbly autistic people uncomfortable in their own skin, and this is the peak of those roles. He absolutely sells the final, soul-crushing party scene at the end of the movie in a way few other actors could. Also Fred Durst is here, and while this seems a funny tidbit, he actually delivers a line that is so unbelievably brutal that it instantly made me hyper aware of the themes of the film. I actually passed out the first time I tried watching this film, and thought that it sucked because of it; as you can see, I’m glad I gave it a second chance.

18. Conclave

I was worried a stuffy drama about holy men vying to become the Pope would be boring, but boy am I glad to be proven wrong! This is a film that is mostly old men talking to each other, but they’re also scheming, plotting, and acting like bitchy mean girls as they try and become the next head of the Vatican. Ralph Fiennes puts in a fantastic performance here, and the film’s views on faith and religion are actually pretty relevant to me (someone who has a complicated view of religion). Throw in a jaw-dropping final twist and I can see why this film is so heavily hyped as an awards darling—though I don’t necessarily think it should win.

17. Abigail

I’m sure you all are aware of my love of vampires, especially vampires with a singular defining theme. I have created vampire OCs with gimmicks ranging from a lost cosmonaut vampire to a traumatized WWII veteran clown vampire to a former Cosa Nostra boss vampire to a vampire who’s the king of Atlantis… But let me tell you, the fact I somehow didn’t think of “Vampire ballerina” is something that will haunt me forever, especially when it was done so perfectly here. The titular vampire’s profession of choice is utilized amazingly in how she moves and kills, and it makes her one of the most unique and fun horror antagonists in recent memory. The fact the rest of the film is funny and engaging is icing on the cake, really.

16. A Different Man

I love movies that are character studies about people who are literally the fucking worst, and Sebastian Stan’s character here is a very interesting take on this. He’s a man who feels his deformity is what causes people to not like him, so he gets a procedure to make him ‘normal’… And then along comes a guy with the same issue as him (played by Adam Pearson) who is the fucking Rizz Master and who everyone loves. It turns out the whole time he just fucking sucked! Stan is absolutely great and proved to me he’s the real deal after multiple MCU projects where he bored me to tears, but Pearson is the one who steals the show here. He’s just an unbelievably charismatic figure, a real fun guy, and without him the film just absolutely wouldn’t work. How he keeps getting overlooked for awards is beyond me.

15. Megalopolis

Every single opinion you will hear about this film is correct. It’s great, it’s awful, it’s genius, it’s moronic… It has to be seen to be believed. I saw this for my birthday, expecting it to be a glorious trainwreck lovingly crafted by an aging auteur who saw this as their ultimate passion project… and that’s exactly what I got! I think every decade needs its own take on The Room, and this is that film if it had an even more insanely huge budget and a director who actually has genuine talent and some semblance of knowledge about how a film is supposed to be.

14. Terrifier 3

The Little Slasher Film That Could! A truly inspiring film, one that managed to make a massive profit despite being a grisly, gruesome splatter film the likes of which haven’t been seen since… well, since Terrifier 2 really. The plot is a bit weaker than its predecessor, but what it lacks in story strength it makes up for in buckets of blood and pitch-black comedy. David Howard Thornton gives his best turn yet as Art, cementing the demonic clown as a modern horror icon with an impressive physical performance.

13. In a Violent Nature

One of the year’s most polarizing films due to its concept: It is a slasher film that follows the killer as our POV, and that means lots of slow, methodical walks through the woods as he seeks his victims. There’s lots of lingering shots and slow pacing, feeling like a real-time hiking simulator… but there’s something so fresh and engaging about it, and when we finally get to the kills they are easily some of the best the slasher genre has seen in years. Does the ending car ride drag on maybe a bit longer than it should? Sure, but I still enjoyed it for fleshing out the film’s world a bit more while hammering home the themes. I think this might be one of the only slasher movies I could reasonably call a genuine work of art.

12. Deadpool & Wolverine

I’ll be the first to admit this is not a great movie; the story is basically nonexistent and everything that happens seems to be contrivances that exist so that Reynolds and Jackman can bounce off each other. But this isn’t a bad thing! Jackman wisely brings his A-game when he could have easily half-assed this role at this point, and Reynolds manages to squeeze out a few solid emotional moments from Wade Wilson. And while the film is a terrible sequel to the first two Deadpool movies, it is a wonderful Deadpool themed meta-commentary and tribute to the Fox Marvel films of the 2000s, movies that tended to suck ass and that most would find unworthy of respect. Not this film; it brings back characters like Johnny Storm and Elektra and uses them in fresh and funny ways that will make you feel at least a little something for that era of superhero cinema. This is a fun fanservice fest—and the perfect demonstration of why we don’t need any more after it, because they could never be as good as this.

11. Wicked

Yes, the lighting is bad and the direction isn’t exactly anything special. Let’s not give Jon M. Chu any credit for why this film is so high up. No, it is the absolutely stellar cast that carries this film, with Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande knocking it out of the park in their roles as Elphaba and Glinda. Their developing friendship feels sweet and genuine, and their songs all hit as hard as they should, with the “Defying Gravity” sequence easily being one of the year’s highlights despite the sun’s best efforts at ruining the moment. It’s just nice to see a fun, colorful, campy fantasy musical get this big. We need more like this.

10. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

It’s nice to see the world of Mad Max expanded and it’s even better to see how Furiosa became the woman she was in Fury Road, but the real star of the show here is Chris Hemsworth as Dementus. It is mind-boggling how good an actor he is when he gets to let loose, and this might genuinely be the best performance of his career. Just a damn good film, but what else can you expect from Miller? Its biggest flaw is it just isn’t as good as Fury Road—but what movie even is?

9. Transformers One

The trailers for this movie didn’t look particularly good, and the Transformers franchise had long lost any goodwill in my eyes, so this was a movie I fully expected to fly under my radar. But then along came a Twitter user who did nothing but hype this film up to the high heavens, and so I had to give it a shot… and boy am I glad I did, because this is easily the best animated movie I saw last year (I did not get a chance to see Flow or Memoirs of a Snail, which I’m sure are better movies). For the second time in the year Chris Hemsworth pulled off a shockingly great performance, but this was truly Brian Tyree Henry’s film; his performance as D-16 AKA Megatron is genuinely fucking amazing. He truly manages to sell the future Decepticon's fall from grace and make it believable while also managing to sell the friendship between him and Optimus before it all goes to shit. Easily the best film in the entire franchise so far.

8. Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Family films really didn’t get better than this one this year, a feat that is monumentally impressive when you remember this is the second sequel to a movie based off of a video game and that easily clears both of its predecessors. It is paced like its title character and isn’t quite as funny as the last two, but it’s much more tightly plotted, the action is incredible, and best of all the emotional story beats it pullls off with Shadow and his tragic backstory hit just as hard as they should. As perfect as Shadow is, the movie wouldn’t be half as good without Eggman and his interactions with Gerald Robotnik; Jim Carrey, the man who once refused to do sequels, managed to give two of the best performances of his career in one film, delivering a fantastic character arc with Ivo and his toxic yaoi with Agent Stone as well as the zaniness-masking-depravity of Gerald. An utter joy of a film, a joy only compounded when a certain song kicked in at the finale and my daughter turned to me with a big, excited grin. You can’t buy an experience like that.

7. Anora

You know all those movies about hookers with a heart of gold like Pretty Women, these live-action fairy tales where a sex worker is swept off their feet and saved from their situation by a rich guy who loves them? Well, this is the antithesis to those, a dark and realistic take on those very stories that still manages to be very funny thanks to strong performances across the board and excessive amounts of profanity. If Demi Moore wasn’t in the running, I would be throwing my full support to Mikey Madison for Best Actress, because she rules in this.

6. Heretic

I really, really love Hugh Grant. I love how he’s taken his charming leading man image and used it to play sleazy, conniving villains, weaponizing his established charisma to play the nastiest guys imaginable. And let me tell you, his performance here had me sympathizing with fucking Mormons. I think maybe the movie goes on a bit too long for its own good—there’s a point where I was thinking “Ok, I get it, can we please just wrap it up?”--but the fact this is so high on my list should tell you that I don’t think that really holds it back much.

5. Challengers

Tennis is not anything I give a shit about, but for the duration of this movie it was the actual coolest thing in the world. This is the tale of the world’s three most toxic people, and the ultimate tennis match that will decide their destiny all with the backstory of what led to that match woven in. Zendaya cemented herself as one of my favorite actors with this film, the cinematography is genuinely insane (there is a fucking tennis ball POV sequence!!!!), and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross deliver one of their best scores yet… Why isn’t this film drowning in Oscars? How did it get snubbed this badly?

4. Nosferatu

Robert Eggers might be the greatest modern horror director. He has an impeccable sense of style, an attention to detail when it comes to historical accuracy that is genuinely insane, and the ability to always get the best cast imaginable for his films. Bill Skarsgård is unrecognizable as Orlok, a role that manages to surpass Pennywise in sheer vile wickedness, but it is in fact Lily Rose-Depp who gives the greatest performance of the film. She is truly the heart and soul of this movie, and showcases the sort of acting talent her father wishes he still possessed. This might be the first horror remake since the 80s that manages to surpass the original, though with that said there aren’t many surprises here. It knows how good the original story is, and doesn’t change too much. What it does add is crucial to the plot, though, especially showing us Orlok’s penis.

3. Dune: Part Two

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first Dune. I liked it well enough, but it felt like a whole lot of setting up and not enough delivering. Well, guess what? This film delivered. Oh fucking boy did it deliver. Austin Butler debuts as Feyd-Rautha, one of the most badass and bloodthirsty villains ever put to film, and despite not getting the winged panties Sting had manages to steal the show and leave a lasting impression despite his brief screentime. But even better than that—but only by a little—is Timothee Chalamet’s Paul’s journey from a desperate hero trying to survive into a full-blown dark messiah who buys into his own hype and whips his followers into a frenzy. It is genuinely chilling seeing what he becomes, and it has me excited where the third and final film will take him. Also Christopher Walken is here. And worms. I really love big worms and Walken.

2. The Substance

People have tried so hard to apply deep meaning to this film and say it has complex moral themes. And sure, it does have strong morals and themes, but let’s not kid ourselves here: This is an R-rated Goosebumps episode. And that’s why it’s fucking amazing. It’s gross, it’s gory, it’s nasty, it’s ridiculous, it’s cartoonish, and it features Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley going all out with their performances. This film has one of the best third acts of the year, because while it does drag on quite a bit it continually gets crazier and crazier. This would easily take my top spot, but there’s one film that’s even better...

1. Hundreds of Beavers

I did not know what to expect when watching this. After hearing so many online reviewers like Schafrillas and YMS rave about it, I definitely was uncertain that I’d find this to be quite as good as the hype would lead me to believe. But let me tell you, to say this film surpassed my expectations is an understatement. This is the funniest film I have ever seen in my life. This is a black and white (mostly) silent film comedy that showcases such a joy and appreciation for the art of film, a movie that oozes charm from every pore. It genuinely needs to be seen to be believed. It has one of the best protagonist journeys from nobody to badass I've ever seen, and it features some of the funniest gags I've ever witnessed. My daughter walked over when she heard me laughing, started watching, and laughed her ass off at the movie too. Genuinely a masterpiece.

Go. Go watch it. It’s free on Prime Video, it’s free on Tubi, stop fucking reading this, go and watch Hundreds of Beavers, and then come back here. It’s fine, I’ll wait.

Alright, now that you’ve seen peak cinema, it’s time to talk about the dogshit.

Even with watching so many movies this year, I surprisingly enjoyed most of them. Sequels I expected to despise like Moana 2 and MaXXXine ended up being decent but heavily flawed, cartoon slop I thought would be irredeemable crap like Thelma the Unicorn and The Garfield Movie ended up being surprisingly decent and surprisingly mid respectively, and Madame Web was perhaps the funniest piece of shit Sony ever churned out. Kung Fu Panda 4 and Venom: The Last Dance are really the closest to genuine “dishonorable mentions” I have, but neither of them are that bad. Like, they definitely suck, but they have enough good points to them where I don’t want to put them on this list. The same goes for hilarious streaming garbage like Nanoshark and Cinderella’s Revenge. Sure, the former feels three hours long (it’s barely over sixty minutes) and the latter ends up squandering its fun premise and dickriding Elon Musk (I’m not kidding), but it’s hard for me to muster up anger at schlock meant to be put on as background noise.

But I still saw some fucking awful movies this year that I hate with a passion. Here are all ten of them:

10. Poolman

Poolman is the directorial debut of everyone’s favorite Chris, Chris Pine… and it is a perfect demonstration of why he needs to stick to acting. Imagine, if you will, Chinatown crossed with The Big Lebowski. Now imagine The Dude is the most annoying, insufferable moron imaginable. That’s essentially what this film is. There is some mild entertainment in some of the bizarre, rambling conversations the characters have but it never truly feels like a worthwhile experience.

9. Emelia Pérez

Is this the absolute worst film of the year? No, absolutely not; if anything nice can be said about this film, it’s that it is competently made and all the technical aspects are sound. But it is probably the most offensive film of the year, delivering some of the most problematic depictions of Mexico and the trans experience you can imagine. This is basically a Mexican minstrel show desperately trying to be some grand, operatic tale of a cartel boss who tries to right their wrongs and live as their true self. It comes off as incredibly tone deaf and cringeworthy, with the transition feeling more like a way for the title character to escape her sins than anything else, which tarnishes a story that genuinely sounds fascinating on paper. Throw in a bunch of nonsensical musical numbers that are uniformly awful and a cast that has a poor grasp on the Spanish language, and you have a movie that’s offensive to everyone from man to woman, from woman to man, from penis to vagina.

8. Nosferatu

Yeah, that’s right, two Nosferatus released in 2024! And the difference in quality couldn’t be more night and day; while the Eggers film is a stylish remake that tells the familiar story with enough of the director’s own ideas to make it a unique and engaging experience, this film is a shot-for-shot remake that looks like it has the budget of a Channel Awesome movie (with the acting talent to match). The one saving grace is that the inimitable Doug Jones portrays Orlok, but even he isn’t enough to redeem this pointless slop. There are three better versions of this story you could be watching, the original and two remakes that justify their existence. Don’t waste your time with this glorified fan film.

7. The Crow

I’m not usually one to say a role died with an actor or that some stories are just not able to be remade, but The Crow is definitely one of the exceptions. Brandon Lee owned the role of Eric Draven, and the original film is perfect 90s gothic action; it’s a story that doesn’t really need a retelling. They could have easily just done a spin-off sequel like they’d done before, but no, they decided to randomly slap the names of Eric and Shelly on two characters who end up being in name only and tossing them into a sloppy supernatural murder thriller with forgettable villains and piss-poor characterization. Bill Skarsgård is probably thanking God every night he had the role of a lifetime in Count Orlok to fall back on, because a performance as bad as his Eric is would be more than enough to tank an actor’s career in any other year. Yet, even as bad as this is, it somehow isn’t the worst comic book adaptation of the year.

6. Hellboy: The Crooked Man

With The Crow, I can see why it was remade. Sure, the end result is a pile of shit, but I at least can admit there is some level of artistic integrity there; they wanted to try and put a unique spin on a familiar story, that they failed catastrophically is another thing entirely. This movie, though? This is one of the most cynical adaptations ever created. It is so blatantly an ashcan copy—a cheap production churned out as quickly as possible to cling to the rights—that it’s genuinely painful to watch. It has the look and feel of a fan film, and not a very good one; this is the Spider-Man: Lotus of Hellboy films. Frankly, this one makes me appreciate the Harbour-led film even more. Sure, that movie was a sloppy trainwreck of a dozen plotlines, but at least it had cool gore and Ian McShane! This movie has next to nothing of value.

5. Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie

You’d think that giving SpongeBob’s coolest friend her own feature-length adventure where she gets to save the day would be a good thing, especially since she’s often sidelined in the theatrical releases. Well, you’d be wrong! This is easily some of the most insufferable SpongeBob content ever shat out by Nickeleodeon, with bogus and uncomfortable grossout humor, a padded plot filled with random action sequences that do nothing to advance the plot, and a bunch of poorly-acted villains with annoying gimmicks. Wanda Sykes’ Sue Nahmee in particular is just an absolute eyesore once her true nature is revealed. I absolutely love Sandy, she’s one of my favorite characters and has been since I was a kid, so when I tell you it stung to see her time in the limelight be such a dumpster fire you’d better believe it.

4. Harold and the Purple Crayon

I honestly don’t know why this film exists. I don’t even know what to say about it. The fact that no one looked at this, a film where Zachary Levi plays a manchild who represents a grown-up version of a beloved cartoon character who enters the real world to go on a stupid journey, and thought “Hey this actually fucking sucks and maybe we shouldn’t release this into theaters” is absolutely astounding. This is a film destined to pad the bottom of the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, with the copies going unsold for years and years. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if they released the Blu-Ray straight to the bargain bin. This is the kind of crap I’d expect to see on Netflix.

3. Kraven the Hunter

Sony really had a fucking abysmal year. Madame Web was the insane, stupid comedy gold we’ve come to expect from their Spider-Man minus Spider-Man cinematic universe, but it also showed that the novelty of a series comprised of nothing but bad movies was wearing thin. Then came Venom: The Last Dance, a meandering and mediocre finale to the beloved campy Venom trilogy that ditched the fun and queer undertones for an almost incoherent sequence of random events occasionally interjected by Knull sitting on his ass and yelling at people like he’s Steven Seagal on set of his latest movie. And then as their final gift to us, they managed to put their stupid franchise out of its misery with this brutal death blow of a film. Kraven is bad in the worst possible way: It is incredibly fucking boring. This is astounding because not only is this rated R and able to take full advantage of Kraven hunting, it also has the perfect character to delver a badass anti-villainous role. But they don’t do that; instead, they make Kraven into a pretty boy anti-hero with Aaron Taylor-Johnson giving a performance so dull it convinced me he was a bad actor until I saw The Fall Guy. It’s truly pathetic that after six films they couldn’t manage to get even one thing right. It’s the miserable end to a historically awful franchise. I truly hope Disney gets the full Spider-Man rights back soon, because I trust Sony with these characters about as much as I trust a toddler with a live grenade.

2. Borderlands

I have never played a Borderlands game in my life, but if they are even remotely like this movie I don’t think I ever want to. This movie is what everyone who hates the MCU says every Marvel movie is like; flat characters, bad action, stupid quippy “he’s right behind me isn’t he”-ass dialogue, baffling casting choices, and the world’s most annoying comic relief character all congeal together into this disastrously bad sci-fi adventure. I guess we’ve been pretty spoiled with good video game adaptations lately, so they had to release a bad one to even things out. At any rate, this is the sort of black mark a Zionist dog like Eli Roth deserves on his career. With any luck, it will keep him out of the director’s chair for a very long time.

1. Joker: Foile à Deux

As many of you may know, Tom Green’s Freddy Got Fingered is one of my all-time favorite films. It is a troll film, a film where Green is deliberately pushing the limits of gross out comedy and sanity at the expense of the studio; it’s a film that is deliberately off-putting. I’m also a fan of the John Leguizamo vehicle The Pest, a movie where the main character is made to be as deliberately annoying as possible, a film designed to be as horribly offensive to everyone as possible in the hopes it crosses the line enough times you’ll laugh. These are films I admire for their edgy, stupid, confrontational style; they will not appeal to everyone, and that’s fine, because while they are certainly laughing at your expense they’re laughing at everyone else’s expense as well.

This film is very similar, except that it’s only laughing at you. You, the viewer, are the punchline of this movie and it spends its plodding runtime hammering that in and telling you over and over how much of a stupid fucking idiot you are. The film is half the most banal courtroom drama you’ve ever seen, one where they do nothing but recap the first film, and half a terrible jukebox musical where the songs are just there to be there and are poorly sung. All of it is built around picking apart the first film and repeatedly hammering in that you’re stupid for liking Joker, the original film and the character. Now this isn’t an idea wholly devoid of merit, especially because of the wild misaimed fandom of the character, but Todd Phillips lacks the intelligence and maturity to tackle something as profound as that. He is truly a shallow filmmaker, unable to grasp these deeper ideas and so settling into surface-level style to distract you from how awful the screenplay is.

Genuinely, the worst part of all this is the incredibly tasteless moment where Joker is implied to be raped by prison guards, something that crushes his spirit and removes all his desire to be Joker (something he spent this whole film up to this point getting back to, despite the whole first film covering the same plot beats). There is so much wrong with this, so much that needs to be unpacked. Did he not realize the sort of messages this sends? Did Phillips really not think through the implications of Joker being cured of his Jokerness by being sexually assaulted? Considering his numerous crimes and the fact that he’s the fucking Joker, is this not implying in a way that perhaps the ends justified the means here? Honestly, I’m putting more thought into this than Phillips put into the whole movie. He just wanted to say “screw the audience” without finding ways to make it fun, engaging, or entertaining.

People are going to look back on this film in a few years and try and convince you it’s good. Don’t listen to them. It isn’t. This is a fucking disaster of a movie, and you are genuinely better off just watching the first film again; if you’re dead set on watching this, hit yourself on the head with a hammer while watching the first one and you’ll get just about the same basic effect. Any film that wastes Lady Gaga this badly is a crime against nature.