#never wrote about it

[weregreatatcrime]

hrm. thank you manic episode, for going on two weeks now and making me wanna not only start a new fic but make it be about Donnie being a girl who is actually just gender envy crushing on April 

(and so is Casey)

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[lgbtlunaverse]

There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bank Robber: Fill up the bag!

Teller Danny: Excuse me?

Bank Robber: Fill up the bag and don't you dare try to press that panic button. I'll shoot!

Danny: My guy, this is a bank in a crime alley. There is no money here. At most you'll get like 4k.

Bank Robber: Shut up! Just fill it!

Danny: Wow, that's a lot of attitude for a man with 35 cents in his account

Bank Robber: What?

Danny placing straps of bills in bag: I know it's you, Martin. You have a speaking impediment. It's very characteristic.

Martin: So you can identifying me?

Danny: I can identify that you ain't got no money. Walking in here thinking you're hot shit with you 35 cents.

Martin: I can't have you telling the cops where I am *shoots Danny in the head*

Other Hostages: *Scream*

Danny pinches his nose to blow out the bullet: Orginal

Martin: *Horrified* W-what are you?

Danny: Me? I'm undead.

Martin: Y-you're a Bat!?

Danny: What?

Martin: I heard the rumors that Batman and his crew were vampires but I never.... I'm so sorry! Please don't eat me

Danny: Ew, I'm not going to eat you. I've seen your bank transactions. You eat waaaay too much take out for your blood to be healthy.

Martin: ..... I don't have time to cook

Danny: Try a salad menu. Also, look out Red Hood is here. I think he might eat you.

Martin: What?

Red Hood: *Slams bike through front window* THINK AGAIN SCUM BAG

Martin: *Screams*

Danny: You vampire mother-Fudger. I have to clean up that glass now. It's only an hour till closing too. Ancients I hate this city.

[thekaiserroll]

Hug

It's nearly impossible to have a quiet and peaceful day with the crew, like the strawhats. Nami is mostly used to the noise on Going Merry but one day she gets fed up with Zoro and Sanji arguing. Not only are they extremely loud, but they've also already broken way too many things during their fights.

She decides that If they want to act like brats, then she's going to treat them as such. So she makes them apologize and hug each other in silence for an hour. None of them are happy about this punishment, but Nami threatened to raise Zoro's debt, and Sanji couldn't say no to her. It could be worse.

It's awkward enough for them to not incite any fight for a long time and Nami is quite proud of herself. She knows it won't last forever but at least now she knows how to handle them. It inevitably happens again. And again. And again.

Much to her surprise, those fights became more and more frequent. And what's even weirder is that she could see the way both Zoro and Sanji occasionally glanced at her to make sure she was nearby. It's almost as if they wanted someone to make them hug each other. As if they needed an excuse.... these idiots.

Soon, they don't even need Nami's help. When they aren't busy training, cooking or fighting, they cuddle together. Sometimes Luffy or Chopper would join them, but most of the crew knew it was their time.

After two years spent separately, they became extremely clingy. It's no surprise when they start sleeping in the same bed. What is surprising is that despite them behaving like a lovey-dovey couple, those oblivious idiots are STILL unaware of each other's feelings.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)

im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

Excellent choice, Councilor Medarda. A supreme challenge.

This one.

@mandaloreyan this gave me a HEART ATTACK when I saw your tags my god it was RIGHT THERE she could've just as easily chosen Viktor and what then. WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

[lazylittledragon]

Hello I love your bg3 content and your Dorian is so lovely! Can we get like an alternative reality with Dorian and Ascended Astarion? What would your headcannon be for them? 🙇

something like this, probably

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Breaking Bread, and Spilling Soup.

[Bonus art]

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[mxmarsbars]

guys. he MIGHT work better under a deadline.

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

Holmes and Watson / Tristan and Isolde

BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript) /// Granada's The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, The Red Circle /// Metafictional Monday: Tristan und Isolde, @teaformrholmes /// Brayton Polka, LIEBESTOD: On Love and Death in Wagner's "Tristan und Isolde", p. 246 /// The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, Vincent Starrett /// BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript)

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[artilite]

fuck you *lethal companies your in stars and time*

(long) exposition under cut (spoilers for ISAT + lethal company logs)

This au takes place around the time of sigurd's logs/before them (i haven't decided if Sigurd's crew exists here or not yet)!

Siffrin was someone who used to live on the Golden Planet before it got eaten. They may not remember anything beyond being found in an escape pod, but they're still paralyzed by fear when getting close to the selling window. He's always first in the facilities, making jumps, braving traps, and heading as deep as he can for scrap.

Mirabelle and Isabeau are the medic and fighter respectively, who both came from the same moon colony. They were both pressured into taking jobs by a work-based society, and applied for the company under the impression that it was a short, high-paying internship with nebulous risks.

Odile is their resident ship manager. She keeps a watchful eye over everyone and relays information about monsters, scrap, etc. In absolutely dire situations, she may come help with scrap. Despite claiming to be a first-timer, her badge says Leader??

Nille and Bonnie ended up with the crew after taking a chance to run away from their parents. Seeing a high-paying job that provided everything and would take them far away sounded too good to pass up. Nille lied about Bonnie's age to take them with her. After seeing the reality of this job, though, she regrets not finding another way out. Bonnie is permanently on ship-duty; they mainly type in whatever numbers Odile tells them. Nille is also a fighter, though she prefers the weighty stop sign as opposed to Isabeau's shovel.

Loop, after hundreds upon thousands of quotas, dying every possible death, learning everything they could- even the real identity of The Company- realizes there was one thing they've never done before. They've never died to The Company. Desperate for a way out, and haunted by the whispers and screams beyond the wall, they give themselves up. Maybe that would finally satisfy the monster- to have devoured every last piece of the Golden Planet. Maybe their crew could finally rest easy that way. Well, they didn't loop back. But through the dark and damp, there's static on the walkie talkie. Loop picks up, and hears their own voice just beyond the wall.

(Loop's design is the most different by far, since instead of consuming a star, they themselves are slowly getting digested. They're inspired by the visual of red crying faces from the logs :D)

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: You want me to what?

Tim: Give this letter to Batman for me.

Danny: Why?

Tim: I need to tell him something, but I can't give him the option of capturing me.

Danny: But he can catch me?

Tim: He doesn't want you.

Danny: Damn, alright.

Tim: No, sorry, I mean - look, just give him the letter and don't tell him anything about me. Here is 10k in cash. Can you do it?

Danny: For 10K? Yeah, okay.

Ten hours later

Danny: LET ME OUT

Bruce: It's okay, son. We're going to help you get your memories back.

Danny rattling the bars: I'm not Tim Drake. He just hired me to give you the letter!

Bruce: A letter claiming Tim Drake was tired of his life with us and that he was going to become a regular citizen, so don't look for him? Your only involvement with the letter and him is that he paid you to delivery it?

Danny: YES!

Bruce: And the fact you both look exactly alike has nothing to do with this?

Danny: I don't question it. You start questioning stuff and bad things happen to you

Bruce: Bad things like memory loss.

Danny: IM NOT TIM DRAKE. LET ME OUT.

Bruce: Until we know what they did to easrse your memories I'm afraid your going to remain in containment.

Danny: WHY!? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

Bruce: You stabbed Jason

Danny: No, he rudely walked into my knife

[peachetteprice]

Pt. 1

Jeweller!Price - after receiving a follow-up letter adressed from you in the post, dated and timed for the following Wednesday at a given location, in which something would take place, worth his time or otherwise - spends two evenings laboriously carving, soldering, shaping and filing the prettiest band from your engagement ring, just big enough to slip around his cock when hard, in the hopes that you might position your stressed little head between his legs and suck off a man greater deserving than that of your husband, if he can be so haughty, all the while he strokes your hair and convinces you that you're the most darling woman in the world, tiger-skin and all.

Though, that's by-the-by, as when you finally see him in the flesh, all six-and-a-half inches of him, perched within a recliner in the most lavish hotel room your money can buy, you know you'd rather spend your evening experimenting with how much of his girth can pad out your cunt, wishing to repay the man who made you feel more precious than your sod ever did, particularly as he fesses mid-thrust that he's stuffing you with your own engagement ring (oh, how it makes you feel more whole than during your entire marriage), and especially when he groans like that, guiding himself into your drooling girl as if returning an aircraft to its rightful hanger, grunting and whispering;

"You'll never have his cock without being reminded of mine, sweets. Hm?"

And he's right. You won't. Have his cock again, that is.

You file for divorce the next morning.

| Masterlist |

[arolloyd]

Ykw scratch that tlnm and the Lego movie DOES take place in the same universe after all... I feel like most ppl don't really talk about this too much because tlnm is usually associated w Ninjago rather than the lego movieverse