#never mind happy birthday gg!!!

[starrixle]

simpbur headcanon dump ♡

a bunch of random headcanons for simpbur that i thought of !! (all under the cut because there is a lot...)

his birthday is december 11 and his height is 5'4 (this is actually canon but im including it anyways)

he goes by he/they/she (in order of preference). he's genderfluid, but more masc aligned. he is also bisexual and horribly closeted (the closet is as clear as glass)

he is neurodivergent, he also suffers from lots of anxiety. he is very anti-social

he and liliana (the e-girl) were both just not great for each other. it was not just simp being toxic to the e girl, but she was toxic to him as well to a certain extent. she isnt a bad person, and neither was simpbur, they were just a pair that wouldnt work out

part of the reason why simpbur is so insecure abt himself is bc liliana tends to be a judgemental person. she has standards that simp didnt meet, and that made him go into the mindset of changing himself to suit what she liked. however, this failed and they ended up breaking things off instead

his breakup with liliana destroyed simpbur's mental health, especially with him being a very fragile person to begin with. this is where his obsession began due to still having a very strong attachment with what he once had with her, along with having extreme jealousy over the thought of her being successful in life with someone other than him

his favorite vape flavor is bubblegum. he would smoke cigarettes, but he doesn't like the smell, and he just prefers vapes

he is horrible with being responsible with his money. even though he struggles to pay rent and works a minimum wage job, he usually spends his money on games and anime stuff

types with stuff like uwu, owo, :3, :<, XD, ^_^, (*≧з≦), etc.

used to live with his mom, but now he lives in a tiny apartment on his own. it's not very well kept or clean, and he often just throws his junk around everywhere since he never has the energy to clean the place up. the only place he bothers (kinda) decorating is his bedroom

cries over small things easily, like when he gets a paper cut, stubs his toe, when his food order is wrong, etc.

can't handle spicy foods whatsoever

he has a shoe box full of random stuff he stole from liliana, such as pens she used, her clothes, trash, hair, etc.

kicks ass at competitive games, such as first person shooter games. he is a chronically online gamer and he lowkey acts toxic sometimes while gaming

he sometimes just goes "gg :3" in the chat whenever he manages to dominate the game. he doesnt like using vc bc he doesnt really like his voice, so he usually sticks to typing, esp bc hes a pretty fast typer (100+ wpm)

he collects a ton of anime figures. usually leaves things in their packaging. he cringed whenever liliana took them out of the packaging, since she didn't understand why he left them in the box instead of taking them out

he blasts music at full volume, especially while gaming. he listens to a lot of vocaloid, breakcore, krushclub, hyperpop, indie rock, etc.

his diet consists of fast food, take out, ramen, microwaved food, soda, snacks, anything that's unhealthy

he usually hides his figure with thick, oversized clothing

he doesn't usually express his style much outside in public, but he likes experimenting a lot with outfits at home, especially ones that aren't typically masculine

he's secretly a furry and has a fursona. he usually acts as if he thinks furries or cringe, but he would have anon alt accounts where he'd look at furries online and talk about how cute they are

his feelings towards his body changes depending on his mood. although he doesn't completely mind being assigned amab, he does wish he looked more feminine, or at the very least androgynous

at a certain point in his life, he denied his femininity and attempted to retain a super masculine appearance and personality. it didn't make him happy, instead it made him more insecure

coming to terms with being not cishet was extremely difficult. he was in denial that he was bisexual, and even more in denial he wasn't a cisgender man. altho he's grown to slowly be more comfortable with his identity, he's still struggling to accept himself

he switches from being masculine and feminine a lot. other times he simply just does not want to be perceived and would avoid people

he loves the idea of romance and intimacy, but the actual act of doing romantic/intimate things freaks him out. he craves for love, but he's terrified to act on it, especially with his last relationship with liliana failing

he posts rants/vents about his thoughts anonymously online on places like reddit

he grew to be good at stalking, even learning strategies to keep himself hidden or quiet, along with learning how to unlock windows or doors. he thought he was insane for doing it at first, but he's grown more used to it being a routine

his eyes are actually dark brown. i just draw them pink because it's just an artistic choice i like in his design

he has sharp canine teeth

he says "im gonna kms :3" and makes all kinds of self-deprecating jokes very often

he often writes random songs in his diary and sings to himself/plays guitar in his room. it's very comforting for him, as its a form of coping

even tho he dislikes his voice, he's very good at singing (insert the entirety of the e-girl trilogy here)

if i ever come up with more headcanons i will make another post as a part 2 !! this guy is constantly living rent free in my mind 24/7 i am so perfectly sane about simpbur i swear. completely. 100%. *eye twitching*

[mizugucci]

hiii everyone im finally posting this after ignoring all my tags for two weeks lmao. i love these kind of games though its fun to look back, so thank you for tagging me:

@floweruna / @hongberries @gnanii @yangsminho and @honeydewtual

rules: link your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year <3 (it’s totally fine to skip months!) and tag some CCs you love!

im sure most people have already done it, but ill tag some people just to say hi @taegyunie @ambivartence @awek-s @flops @strhwaberries @hwichanis

i added way too much commentary, so this will go under a readmore lmao. also i included ALL gifs including from my gg and fandom sideblogs, not just bgs.

january

favorite: obviously my favorite was my magazine/gif thing i made for kenta's birthday (6th year in a row, this year will be 7) unfortunately it doesnt load very well lol

most popular: these txt gifs (sugar rush ride) and taehyun+stickers

february

favorite: i cant deny i still think about this set of sebin during snuper's rain of mind era... the sparkles will always have a chokehold on me. ps check out my pixy wings set

most popular: this joshua set (for whatever reason lol)

march

favorite: i have several but im rly happy at how the wjsn + butterflies set turned out, its so nice. also my two harry june sets have a soft spot in my heart

most popular: this set of svt aju nice, its not a surprise that when i post svt it gets way more notes lol. i do like it a lot though

april

favorite: by FAR my fav (excluding macarena) is my loona as witches gifset. its one ofmy best im not gonna lie but also.... yuma sunshine...

most popular: actually i had a couple that were fairly popular but uh another joshua gifset has the most but ALSO this blitzers macarena post is nearing 200 notes??? i would consider that a fave too. and apparently tumblr loves big yuto/little yuto the same i do

may

favorite: i outdid myself in my dkz 9 to 5 set here. like idk how it ended up looking good but i love it sm.

most popular: ANOTHER joshua set??? im not even joshua biased. hes just so pretty LOL this is boring ill mention the 2nd most popular too. which is also another boring svt set. NEXT is big yuto/little yuto again <3

june

favorite: i made a gifset pretending fly me to the moon had a m/v and it flopped SO HARD i forget that i actually made it. also not to sneak this one but bitsaeon is SOOOO beautiful

most popular: campus crush junseo was my most popular this month, AS IT SHOULD BE. everyone should love that teddy bear

july

favorite: mmm two horror-adjacent gifsets!!! a set for dreamcatcher's chase me and an au that set kino (ptg) as a horror protag. lol it was so niche but i enjoyed it

most popular: omg i didnt think it would be but junghwan in the move m/v... as it SHOULD BE (again) i was let down a lot by trsr this year but this song kept me interested

august

favorite: mmm probably changsun in heartbeat. i LOVE that song and also it brought me back to 2017. nostalgia is.. very strong lol

most popular: im ignoring yet another joshua set. sorry josh but lets let others have a spot lmao. actually after that, a gifset of jaechan in his pre-release solo has the most notes. thats crazy!

september

favorite: my fav is OBVIOUSLY the set of snuper + sparkles. supposedly i was going to turn it into a series of boys+sparkles but we'll see.

most popular: its kind of funny, it seems like there arent a lot of ptg stans on tumblr but they always crawl out of the woodwork to rb my ptg stuff. i love u guys. and i miss yanan.

october

favorite: another installment in my women+horror series was my fav for this month. girlies gotta love vampires

most popular: i am SO glad. if it is any of my sets to be popular, i would never be disappointed if its omega x. they deserve the WORLD and ill personally give it to them. btw my pics with jaehan and taedong turned out soo well but i look AWFUL with sebin lmaooo

november

favorite: ahhh definitely anthonny in magic hour jacket behind. hes an ICON and i really liked him in bp

most popular: ohhh this was a surprise, i guess bc i only did 4 gifsets in november, but this seowon in wonderland m/v has the most notes. totally valid, hes beautiful

december

favorite: baby... yuma... sunshine loml obviously is my fav. hes sooo cute in that beret. and his smile. oh im gonna cry hes so cute LOOK AT MY SON!!!!!

most popular: i guess kpop has less of a reach on tumblr now because my one and only fandom post has the most notes lol. anyway if you havent seen a journey to love, you really should

a few thoughts:

well, its not a surprise that my most popular were seventeen and txt but it was interesting to see the variety of groups that i did gif besides them

peak time really had (has) a chokehold on me lmaoooo so many sets spawned from that show.

i also giffed more than i thought i had, so that was very neat to discover. although it was funny i posted 4 gifsets in the entirety of november

i talked so much and i apologize but thank you to anyone who even scrolled down this far, thanks for bearing with me!!

[hannieween]

Omg happy birthday city lights!!! You'll never know how many sleepless nights you've given me but you're forgiven BC you've given me the greatest gift of all <3 (boyfie joshie!!) also OMGGGGG I CANNOT W A I T FOR HUBBY JOSHIE oml he's gonna be THE most annoying fiance ever he'll be SO insistent that you refer to him as your FIANCE josh, will NEVER let you call him anything else SHDNDJSJJ and omg daddy joshie and daddy hannie where y'all never actually figure out who the daddy is BC they've both been stuffing you with load after load after load 🥴🥴🥴 if you're Chinese (slash east Asian) like me it becomes EXTRA difficult to figure out BC uh,,, is that ??? Ur nose joshie ??? Hannie???? Fuck is it MINE ????? And the hair colour and skin colour of everyone is basically the same so gg SHFJSJSJ eyes don't even work too BC it's like oh is it a smaller double eyelid BC it's from shua or is it BC it's from me ¿¿? I imagine there's bets going on between the guys for YEARS and only when something important and medical comes up does everyone find out which kid was fathered by which dad. Unrealistic, but imagine having fraternal twins with 2 diff baby daddies SHFNSJSJN like yeah THEORHETICALLY??? it can happen but realistically??????? You'd have to be like 1 in 100000000000000000000 or something crazy like that

Also while we're on the topic of filthy stuff >:) I NEED there to be nasty disgusting fluid swapping between everyone now that we know joshie and hannie are both 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 like V oml I cannot tell you how FEEOCIOUSLY I need hannie to creampie my ass and joshie to clean me up and lick it all out,,, or riding joshie and making him cum while you squirt but hoping off his dick right away so it all slides out and makes a huge mess on his pevis so hannie has to slurp it all up,,,, or oml spit roasting bunny and the boys are making out with each other above her ,,,,, bunny riding hannies face before laying back and letting joshie spit on her hole and letting it drip down to folds into hannies mouth ,,,, hannie and bunny sharing a cock and sucking joshie off at the same time ,,,, joshie and bunny sharing a cock and sucking hannie off at the same time ,,,, bunny and joshie domming hannie hehe oml there's so many ideas and options and I am not sane in the head

okay one of the things i have planned for next chapter (yes, it's going to have multiple sex scenes hannieween™ is that bunny and hannie share joshie's cock, and give him the slobbierest, juiciest blowjob and that is one of the scenes i have planned because like you said, the possibilities are now endless

but if you don't mind it, i'm going to steal one of the things you said in there (ahem, like hannie stuffing you full and joshie cleaning up the mess) because god i read that and i nearly died because i need to write that asap or i'll short circuit and won't come back fkdjgh

and yes it's unrealistic but imagine joshie and hannie being so cute with a tiny hooman (or twin hoomans) 🥹😭 i can't wait til we get to that part in lights out heheheh

have i told you that i love you? no? well, i love you bubye

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Jake English, Roxy Lalonde, Fefetasprite

Act 6, page 5521-5540

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

GT: Greetings!

GG: Oh. Hello, Jake.

GT: Im not interrupting anything am i?

GG: Um, not really? Roxy and I are just setting a few things up here.

GT: Ah i see. I would be happy to message you again later if it would spare you any inconvenience.

GG: No, it's fine! It's really nice to hear from you, actually.

GG: I was starting to worry you might have forgotten.

GT: Uh.

GT: Forgotten?

GG: Oh no...

GT: Forgotten what now?

GG: Never mind.

GT: Wait dont tell me.

GT: Is it a tomb or a crypt or somesuch? Are you preparing for another grist seeking expedition??

GT: Oh shit did you schedule my assistance for the raid and i forgot all about it???

GG: No, Jake.

GG: We didn't need your help raiding a tomb. But thanks for thinking of us.

GG: I don't know what this clueless pair of damsels would do without you.

GT: Blast.

GT: Well what in the name of willy howard tafts great tub choking bottom could i be forgetting then?

GT: This is going to drive me CRAZY! Can you give me a hint?

GG: Yes. It has to do with the day I was born, which was almost exactly sixteen years ago.

GT: Of course! Your birthday!!!

GG: Didn't you get Roxy's invitation?

GG: It was my understanding that she gave you and Dirk notice weeks ago.

GT: Yes thats right. Now i remember. The date sure snuck up on us quick didnt it?

GT: Sorry you know how things can slip my mind. The gourd on my shoulders isnt the steel trap it used to be. Nothing like the well oiled puzzlebuster you've got up there.

GG: Mm.

GT: Well damn.

GT: Looks like the egg monster took quite the spirited dump on my face this time.

GG: Jake. I... what?

GT: I feel so dumb. Ill be right over.

GG: Well, if you recall, the party is actually tomorrow.

GG: Like I said, we're just setting a few things up.

GG: Roxy is putting up some decorations. I baked a cake. You were of course free to join us early too. I just thought since I hadn't heard from you in quite some time, you had better things to do.

GT: You baked a cake for your own party?

GG: Yes. So?

GT: I dont know something seems amiss about that. Isnt that against tradition or inviting bad luck or something?

GT: But I guess it makes sense since you love baking cakes. Its like a present you give to yourself!

GG: Jake, what was it you actually wanted?

GT: Oh. I just wanted to get your advice on some stuff.

GT: But since ive been a heel and forgotten about your party maybe i shouldnt bother you with that?

GG: Mmm.

GT: So sixteen big ones huh! The ole sweet sixteen.

GT: Last one of us to notch the vaunted one sixer. Its a big step! I knew youd make it, i always said i believed in you didnt i?

GT: Just kidding, the inexorable nature of times passage virtually assured you would get that old so you didnt really have anything to do with it. I mean not that i dont still believe in you, i do.

GG: ...

GT: I cant believe its already been...

GT: How long?

GT: What, like a year already since we entered? Holy moly, where does the time go.

GG: It's been more like five months.

GT: Oh.

GT: Well thats still a pretty long time.

GT: I have to admit its been a longer stint than i expected. Certainly one involving more downtime than i would have guessed.

GT: I really thought we would have been treated to more action, what being legendary players of a mysterious cosmic game. But no, it seems the primary duty of the so called nobles is to wait around twiddling our thumbs.

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: I am really beginning to wonder when these fabled heroes will arrive? And are they really going to be those we have been led to believe?

GT: I sure hope so. Id so love to meet my pen pal. Dear old departed grandma. But as a feisty youngster! What a hoot thatll be. And you with your poppop. Lets not forget about him.

GT: Not to mention the young strider and lalonde relatives. I bet theyre a barrel of laughs. I met them once but i was too shy to say anything. Then i got in a fight. Did i ever mention that jane?

GG: Yes.

GG: Many times.

GT: Not to say its been all downtime and doldrums. Exploring has been great. Finding treasure, solving riddles, becoming better friends. I wouldnt trade that for anything.

GT: And maybe we are getting close to something big happening regardless? Every day it seems like more and more undead creatures crawl from out of the shadows. Bigger ones and stronger ones. Does their presence herald something worse coming, just as the legends indicate our presence heralds something better?

GT: I just wish we could actually kill the fucking things. Even the little ones can absorb so much damage before yielding any spoils!

GT: Remember jane? Remember at the start how we kept trying to kill them?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: We would all gang up on like an imp skeleton for an hour just clobbering it repeatedly. Knocking its bones down, waiting for it to reassemble and keep coming at us. Only to finally be rewarded with a shitty pittance of grist!

GT: But i guess the silver lining was it forced us to explore ruins more often and scavenge for loot there. So i think weve learned a lot more this way.

GT: But it sure makes resources hard to come by, having to get them exclusively from chests and whatnot. Sometimes i wonder if weve been missing out on a really rewarding part of the game by neglecting to build up our houses? Makes you wonder. But it just costs so much! Better to stick to making more practical stuff dont you think?

GG: Mm.

GT: Sometimes i wonder if the heroes had the same problems in their game. Do you think they found an easier way to kill skeletons?

GT: Were they just as shameless as us when it came to splurging our precious grist on swanky new duds?

GT: Did the same enigmatic bard haunt their game? And if so which hilarious dead trolls did he throw into the flashy blobs?

GT: Mr erisol tells me he knows many things about the heroes because he saw them in action when he was alive. But he wont tell me a thing about them! These troll sprites sure do love keeping their secrets dont they? Heheh.

GG: That's nice, Jake. I'm kind of busy though.

GG: What did you actually want to talk to me about?

GG: Actually, why don't we just talk about it tomor-

GT: Okay we can talk about that if you insist.

GT: Really jane you sure know how to twist a fellas arm!

GT: I just wanted to get your take on what you might call my own personal ultimate riddle.

GT: It involves dirk.

GG: You don't say.

GT: Its true. I havent seen him in a couple days.

GT: I have been laying low for a while but i just received another series of pushy inquiries from him.

GT: Maybe i shouldnt be too hard on the guy since he was probably just concerned, not having heard from me and all.

GT: But i still couldnt help but detect a tone of desperation, like he could sense i may be having doubts.

GT: This kind of thing has been all too common unfortunately.

GT: Im not sure its going to work anymore.

GG: Mm.

GT: He can be so needy!

GT: If only he could just relax and trust that i wont spontaneously tire of his company.

GT: Although the irony i guess is that his overbearing tendencies are beginning to fulfill his own paranoid prophecy.

GT: Its such a shame. Weve had so many capital adventures together.

GT: I dont know why he has to be like this. He always was an intense fella. But in person... holy cow.

GT: I wonder if it has to do with the fact that he grew up alone in the middle of the ocean? And now he doesnt know how to deal with people without suffocating them?

GT: But then again i grew up under similar circumstances and i think i turned out pretty much ok socially, at least i hope so. Do you think so jane?

GG: Mmmm!

GT: Actually it just occurred to me. Its funny he didnt mention your party in his text.

GT: Im SURE he wouldnt have forgotten. He never forgets ANYTHING what with all his calculations and his computerized brain. Both figurative and literal.

GT: I wonder what his game was? He invited me on an expedition without mention of your party as a potential conflict...

GT: If he sensed i could use some space perhaps he was concerned that if we both showed up to the party it would be awkward?

GT: Or maybe he didnt want to mention he was going to the party in case it would spook me away from attending?

GT: Argh! Do you see jane?? This is what his endless machinations do to you!

GT: Anything he says could be part of some grand convoluted scheme and it just makes you agonize and boggle and wonder until your brain hurts and you just KNOW its a battle you cant win.

GT: You know what i mean jane?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: Do you think i should just bite the bullet and end it?

GT: Its probably the right thing to do.

GT: Boy am i not looking forward to that conversation though.

GT: Its going to be a doozy. What did i get myself into here?

GT: I think ive made a lot of mistakes honestly.

GT: Not the least of which was getting this shitty tattoo, now that i think about it.

GT: Yes yes i know we all thought it was a riot at first.

GT: I guess it still is maybe? But lately ive been wondering if it might not have been an act of sound judgment.

GT: Can you believe that jane?

GG: Hmm!

GT: I dont know. Its a real pickle im in here but i do feel better just being able to get it off my chest.

GT: You are such a good friend jane, always ready to listen to my relationship woes. What a trooper!

GT: It never ceases to amaze me how excellent you are at this friendship business. Where would we all be without you?

GT: In a way you really have been the glue holding us all together on our adventure. Gosh youre a standup gal.

GT: Oh which actually reminds me of ANOTHER thing thats been bugging me about dirk.

GT: He can often be almost hilariously self absorbed. Dont even get me started on when he starts going off on these long monologues about his philosophical gobbledygook.

GT: I'm not sure he actually has much of a filter when it comes to what others regard as interesting points of conversation.

GT: Not to rag on the guy too hard but i guess at times i would just like to see a little more self awareness from him is all.

GG: Jake.

GT: Did i tell you what happened on our last expedition together?

GG: Jake.

GT: I cant remember if i mentioned. Oh man but thinking back on what happened its even more ridiculous in retrospect.

GT: Where do i begin?

GG: Jake!!!

GT: What?

GG: Shut up!

GT: Huh?

GG: Shut up!!!

GT: Errr.

GT: Did i say something wrong?

GG: JAKE.

GG: PLEASE.

GG: STOP TALKING.

GT: I dont...

GG: JAKE.

GG: I SAID SHUT UP.

GT: Wha...

GG: JUST,

GG: SHUT,

GG: THE FUCK,

GG: UUUUUUUUUUP!!!

GT: Ay caramba.

GT: What in tarnation is the matter jane?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER???

GG: I AM SICK.

GG: AND FUCKING TIRED.

GG: TO DEATH.

GG: OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE BLITHERING BULLSHIT!!!!!!

GT: Whoa there.

GT: You seem really worked up. Maybe we should just calm down and talk this through like sensible adults?

GT: Also youre going kinda heavy on the caps there arent you? Sort of makes it seem like your shouting. Just saying.

GG: I AM SHOUTING!

GG: THERE ARE LITERAL SHOUTS OF ANGER COMING OUT OF MY ACTUAL MOUTH, AND THEY ARE DIRECTED AT YOU!

GT: Yikes.

GT: Well ok then.

GT: Can you tell me why youre so upset with me?

GT: Is it because i forgot your birthday party? Because i do feel awful about that.

GG: OH MY GOD. WHY ARE YOU SO CLUELESS?

GG: I CAN'T STAND IT!

GT: Really i feel like a tool about forgetting. You know how i am. I forget stuff.

GT: I mean...

GT: Shucks buster. If i knew how to make it up to you i would.

GT: If it ameliorates matters any i am sighing pretty much the shucksiest buster of contrition i can manage.

GG: IT'S NOT ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!!!

GG: THE FACT THAT YOU FORGOT CERTAINLY DOESN'T HELP, BUT THAT'S NOT IT. SEE, YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!

GG: OH, AND COULD YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING SHUCKS BUSTER?!

GG: SHUCKS BUSTER WAS MY THING! AND YOU STOLE IT!

GT: I thought shucks buster was...

GT: Sorta our thing?

GG: NO, IT WAS MY THING, BUT I ALLOWED IT TO BE OUR THING! BACK WHEN YOU USED TO GIVE A SHIT! BUT NOW IT'S JUST MINE, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ANYMORE!

GT: Uhh.

GT: Ok?

GT: I suppose i could go with shoot buddy. Or...

GT: Fudge junior?

GG: .................

GT: Or maybe forgo an analogous catch phrase altogether heh.

GT: But i clearly stepped in it big time with you and id really like to know what i did.

GG: JAKE, LET ME ASK YOU.

GG: DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE TALKED?

GT: Hmm.

GT: Wasnt it a few days ago?

GG: NO. TRY A FEW WEEKS AGO!

GG: AND EVEN THEN, YOU MESSAGED ME JUST TO TALK ABOUT SOME STUPID SHIT THAT HAPPENED WITH DIRK.

GG: A TEDIOUS GESTURE WHICH YOU THEN SAW FIT TO REPRISE ON MY BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS, WHILST CONSIDERATELY FORGETTING ABOUT IT!

GG: AND EVEN WHEN I REMINDED YOU ABOUT IT, YOU STILL BARGED AHEAD WITH YOUR SELF-INDULGENT RELATIONSHIP CLAPTRAP ANYWAY!

GT: I didnt realize it was so long ago. Sorry about that.

GT: Again all i can say is where does the time go? I guess i have trouble keeping up with everything im supposed to. Which it would seem includes personal relationships as much as calendars.

GT: Im not much of a leader of people. Not like you are jane. I think when it comes to adventuring maybe im more of a solo act?

GT: Which now that i think about it might be contributing to my problems with dirk. Maybe thats part of the reason why i needed some space?

GT: Oh brother there i go again blustering about my problems. I guess i see what you mean.

GT: But really if you wanted to talk sooner then why didnt you get in touch with me?

GT: It feels as though im always the one to say hello to you lately.

GG: YEAH! THAT'S BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME WE CHAT, YOU DO NOTHING BUT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF!

GG: YOU NEVER ASK ME HOW I'M FEELING OR WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO. YOU JUST LAUNCH INTO YOUR ROMANTIC PROBLEMS, AND I JUST LISTEN LIKE AN ACCOMMODATING FOOL AS ALWAYS!

GG: SO I JUST STOPPED BOTHERING! WHY SHOULD I SUBJECT MYSELF TO THAT REPEATEDLY?!

GG: YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE MOST THOUGHTLESS, SELF-CENTERED PERSON I HAVE EVER MET!

GG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO FEEL...

GT: Huh?

GT: Used to feel what?

GG: JAKE, HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU HOW IT MUST FEEL FOR SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO HER FRIEND GO ON AND ON ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS WHEN...

GG: WHEN ALL ALONG SHE...

GG: BUT SHE JUST COULDN'T SAY BECAUSE SHE BLEW IT AND IT WAS TOO LATE TO...

GG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M BOTHERING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU. NEVER MIND.

GT: Now hold the phone.

GT: Jane i think i may finally understand whats been going on here.

GT: In retrospect i cant believe ive been this blind.

GT: Youre right i really can be deplorably thick sometimes.

GT: Looking back i can see how many of our conversations must have been torment for you.

GT: You really should have told me how you felt sooner!

GG: YEAH. I...

GG: I know. :(

GT: If you told me you had the hots for dirk i would have backed off without another word.

GT: What are friends for!

GG: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

GT: Wait...

GT: Did i say something dumb again?

GT: Consarn it.

GT: I think maybe something is getting lost in translation over our respective chat clients.

GT: Maybe we should wait until tomorrow and just clear the air face to face at your party?

GG: NO!

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY!

GT: Aw come on jane. Be a sport.

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY, BECAUSE THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A PARTY!

GG: GO RAID SOME TOMBS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. GO MAKE OUT WITH HIM OR BREAK UP WITH HIM, OR WHATEVER IT IS YOUR FICKLE, SELFISH HEART DESIRES!

GG: I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE WITH YOU!

GG: I AM FED UP WITH YOUR STUPID MOVIES AND YOUR STUPID ADVENTURES AND YOUR STUPID OLD TIMEY CHARMS AND YOU STUUUUUUPID DASHING GOOD LOOKS. WHO NEEDS ANY OF IT?????

GT: I say jane. Before you do anything rash...

GG: OH, WILL YOU PLEASE,

GG: JUST,

GG: STFU BUSTER!!!!!!!!!

ROXY: jane

ROXY: yo uh

ROXY: janey

ROXY: u ok there

JANE: I WILL BE PEACHY FUCKING KEEN ONCE I STOMP THIS NOVELTY MUSTACHE HEADSET INTO OBLIVION, AND NOT A MOMENT SOONER!

ROXY: janey uh

ROXY: that aint a reasonable thing you said

JANE: AU CONTRAIRE.

JANE: I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND THAT ONCE THIS PIECE OF SHIT HAS BEEN REDUCED TO SUBATOMIC PARTICLES, WE WILL ALL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE FUCKING ROSES.

ROXY: jaaaaane

ROXY: stoppit :(

ROXY: ur upsettin fefeta

ROXY: just

ROXY: think of fefeta is all im asking

ROXY: poor fefeta :'(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

JANE: OH POOR FEFETA MY SWEET PATOOTIE!

JANE: YOU AND I BOTH KNOW FEFETA HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH GARBAGE FROM JERKOFF BOYS BEFORE.

JANE: SO DON'T GIVE ME THIS POOR FEFETA CRAP.

ROXY: lol yeah

ROXY: my girl fefeta knows whats up

ROXY: she been around the d bag block a time or 2

ROXY: em i rite fefeta

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 3;3

ROXY: shit yes gimme a paw bump

ROXY: BOMP

ROXY: jane u want in on this action

ROXY: come give us a fist fulla sugar

ROXY: complete the 3way for max girl power + solidarity against dumb dudes

ROXY: janey jeez dont leave us hanging here

JANE: SIGH.

JANE: FINE.

ROXY: jane that was the piss poorest paw bump ive ever seen

ROXY: that was like a negative bump

ROXY: we are going to have to bump long and hard into the night to dig us outta this fuckin bump hole you dug us into

ROXY: w/ that tragic bump

ROXY: that bump was like

ROXY: shakespearean

ROXY: makes me want to weep softly and leave a bouquet somewhere

ROXY: someone plays a sad trumpet in the distance

ROXY: look fefeta just sniffled a little at how sad that bump w-

JANE: SHHHHHHHH!

ROXY: ok god

ROXY: was just tryin to cheer you up

ROXY: take ur mind off whatever the hell that was

ROXY: you werent serious about calling off the party were you

ROXY: here let me just get the chess guys to help put the table back on the roof

ROXY: and maybe salvage the cake out of that sand dune over there...

ROXY: aaaaand NOPE the chess guys just finished eatin it

ROXY: lets just bake another k?

JANE: NO, I WAS SERIOUS!

JANE: I'M NOT...

JANE: I'm not in the mood for a party anymore.

ROXY: so it sounds like

ROXY: u got jaked

JANE: >:(

ROXY: why yes

ROXY: that is the face of a girl who just got english'd with extreme prejudice

ROXY: he was a block head and forgot your birthday didnt he

ROXY: im sorry jane

JANE: Yeah, me too. Can we maybe not rehash the whole terrible conversation though??

ROXY: yeah we dont have to

ROXY: just maybe try not to hold whatever dumb shit he said against him forever?

ROXY: thats just how the guy is

ROXY: its like

ROXY: he doesnt mean to be a douche

ROXY: but its just kind of a byproduct of the whole ridiculous jake english experience

ROXY: like his dunkass shenanigans leave behind a residue that looks like douche and tastes like douche but it aint the real thing?

ROXY: like douche substitute

ROXY: "i cant believe its not douche"

ROXY: um

ROXY: im just trying to say not terrible things about him in hopes you dont start hating each other but i guess this isnt what you wanna hear now

JANE: >:(

ROXY: soooo yeah

ROXY: i guess jakes dumpin dirk soon?

ROXY: hahah like the writing wasnt so on the wall with those two from day one

ROXY: poor dirk

ROXY: ive wanted to say something to prepare him for that but

ROXY: never had the heart to bring it up i guess?

ROXY: what can u do....

ROXY: hey

ROXY: but the silver lining is

ROXY: i mean if you can forgive him for shitting on your bday and stuff

ROXY: maybe this is finally your chance to make a play 4 the j man??

ROXY: ehhhh??? ;)

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38D

JANE: ROXY, PLEASE.

JANE: AS IF THAT ISN'T THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND RIGHT NOW!

JANE: I AM SO DONE WITH THAT WHOLE TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

ROXY: so you really think youre just

ROXY: completely over him?

JANE: YESSIREE!

JANE: IF JAKE'S THE RAINBOW, THEN JUST CALL ME A LITTLE HOUSE FROM KANSAS!

JANE: WHEEEEEE!

ROXY: wait rly

ROXY: as in like you dont give a shit if he dates anybody or

JANE: MMMMMMMHM!!!

ROXY: i seeee

ROXY: iiiiiinteresting!

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38O

JANE: WAIT...

JANE: WHAT??

JANE: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

ROXY: nothing!

ROXY: i was just...

ROXY: it was a joke!

JANE: WAS IT REALLY?!

ROXY: ok maybe not a total joke

ROXY: but still mostly a joke!

ROXY: im only

ROXY: trying to

ROXY: blurgh

ROXY: i dont know

JANE: ROXY, I GET YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, BUT A LOT OF THINGS YOU'RE SAYING HERE AREN'T REALLY HELPING!

JANE: DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HALF THE TIME?

JANE: I THINK I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE DRINKING!

ROXY: jaaane no

ROXY: dont say that

ROXY: i had a problem :(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38(

JANE: OK, YEAH!

JANE: I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE THERE AND I'M SORRY!

JANE: THAT STUPID CONVERSATION WITH JAKE JUST PUSHED ME OVER SOME KIND OF EDGE AND NOW I AM FEELING REALLY, REALLY DISTRAUGHT!

JANE: THIS GAME IS SO MUCH MORE DEPRESSING THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE! EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND EMPTY AND FULL OF GRAVES AND ALL WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IS JUST KEEP WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING! BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER? AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE MY DAD IS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO REACH CALLIOPE, AND WHAT IF THEY'RE BOTH...

JANE: AND NOW ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I MAY HAVE PERMANENTLY DESTROYED MY FRIENDSHIP WITH JAKE!

JANE: AND NOW...

JANE: Now...

JANE: I just want to be alone.

ROXY: jane wait

JANE: I have to go!

ROXY: where are you going!

JANE: HOME!!!

ROXY: good lard

ROXY: all my friends are being disasters

ROXY: welp looks like its just us

ROXY: party nite w gcat and fefeta

ROXY: fefeta???

ROXY: oh dangit

ROXY: hey you know i could have used some support there

ROXY: where was all that profound shippin expertise when we really needed it!

ROXY: usually i can barely shut you up girl

ROXY: maybe you just clammed up at all the drama?

ROXY: hehehe youd have loved that pun

ROXY: the one i just said about the clams

ROXY: aw its ok you had enough drama in your lives

ROXY: you deserve some rest

ROXY: good night sweet princess

ROXY: sooo

ROXY: gcat

ROXY: i guess that just leaves the two of us

ROXY: wow this is

ROXY: great?

ROXY: you gonna behave urself

ROXY: not do anything too uh

ROXY: vexing or cheshire catty

ROXY: i hope?

ROXY: oh mother fuck

[starsxinxthexbluexsky]

...

[accio-victuuri]

It’s time for some Christmas Eve / Christmas CPN to keep you company 🎄

first of all, Merry Christmas! I hope that you spend this day with people you love. may it be a cozy day filled with good food and gifts.

everything below is fake. for turtles only.

☼☽⋆｡°✧ ✧⋆°｡☾☼

let’s start with another cute story - drawing from Chengyi. This time with Bobo attempting to make bread/pastry for ZZ cause he knows he likes it. At this point, i’m just treating all the succeeding stuff she posts as fake stories. tho there is really something about a real-life person who they know, spent some time with them and saw them interact, turning into a full fledged turtle. lol. either on screen or real life, there is a factor that will make certain people believe in szd. What fans love about this comic is Bobo’s attempt in making ZZ happy by making what he likes — he is also wearing an apple watch, which we’ve been clowning about recently.

this reminds alot of us about GG’s 2020 birthday cake and who made it. There were lots of speculation at that time and one of them was Bobo made the cake. I mean, Bobo is someone who can do anything if he sets his mind to it, tho he may be a disaster in the kitchen— he can always practice. or maybe he had a bit of help. People are pointing out that in the photos, the cake looks smooth and perfect. but in the video, you can see in an angle that it wasn’t. there is a part with no icing and looks uneven. I know someone took some icing and smeared it on his cheek but that was only a little. So was he hiding the imperfection? trying to only show the perfect look of the cake his baobao made him? 🥺🥺🥺

When this CPN was talked about years ago, I was really skeptical because not everything is about their relationship. I mean, are we reaching too much? We are even connecting the cake to Yibo? But one thing I noticed about that cake is how simple it is. White. No decoration. Then I’m comparing it to the kind of cakes and cupcakes XZ and his team give out to staff/crew, it’s totally different. He prefers giving ones that look really pretty. So if this 2020 birthday cake was store bought or custom — why is it so plain? Unless someone handmade it. Someone who is a newbie in baking. 🤡

Example below are the cakes given by ZZ’s team to the ADLAD crew.

talking about these cakes, there was a card given alongside it ( see p1 ) with the message wishing a happy/merry christmas eve. The handwriting ( and message ) tho is similar to what was shared before by LRLG, a handwritten letter. Coincidence? lol. This is why we love LRLG so much!

Next is a submission in the ZSWW fake rumor house. I wanna mention it because of how cute it portrayed Bobo. 🥺🥺 I cannot post the whole translation here cause i’m not allowed, so I’ll share a few lines only.

• It said Bobo can be heard on the phone saying “I think you didn’t” and also “do you miss me?” / “do you miss me today?” / “thinking of you”

Then ZZ teases him, acting like he doesn’t miss him, and Bobo was like— “I’m the only one that miss you, you don’t miss me.”

This is so Yibo. He will only act spoiled and childish towards his ZZ, wanting his attention. It must be so delightful for ZZ to tease Yibo! Hearing that soft yibo voice ahhhhhh! We could never!!!! I’m so happy that they are in the same city now, and hopefully till the end of year or beyond. They deserve time to be together. Even if they have work commitments, at the end of the day, they can still go home to each other.

• Someone is already "quietly" preparing 🎄🎁what about you?

hmmmmmm. i doubt they will show off what each other gave, but who knows?

• OP mentioned the line : "Don't give up what you love because you're afraid" and this made me so soft. Not only does it talk about their relationship but their careers as well. yibo’s love for dancing. zz’s love for singing. both their passion for acting. They are two people who continue to pursue their love no matter what other people think. They are so inspiring. 🤍

Lastly, this unofficial bts video shared today. Nothing really incriminating. Just an example of how much they share and notice about what each other is doing. They don’t sound like two colleagues who just tolerate one another.

ZZ: Why did you just say you would go back to the hotel?

WYB: I just got back to the hotel and stayed there for an hour

ZZ: wearing makeup and wearing clothes

WYB: It’s hard. When did you switch over?

ZZ: I didn’t check the time, I just arrived 10 minutes earlier than you.

I swear. They know what the other person is doing or their schedule. It’s like they look forward to being together or whatever time they have sharing the screen. 🤍

-END.

[frostedfaves]

I Don’t Feel Alive (2)

Masterlist

Pairings: Jake Peralta x sister!reader (platonic), Rosa Diaz x fem!reader (romantic), Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago (also romantic)

Summary: Jake has a birthday and your family gets a bit smaller.

Warnings: mentions of neglectful parents

A/N: I’m so happy with the response this series has gotten so far! and I’ve enjoyed writing tiny Jake. can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this one!

Previous part

-

“Hi, Grandma!” Jake called out cheerily as he pushed past her into the apartment.

“Hello, Jake!” She chuckled at him and turned her attention to you. “And hello, dear.”

“Hi, Mrs. Grandma.” You offered her a shy smile as you walked inside, placing your bookbag on the floor by the table as you sat down.

“There you are,” the elderly woman drops a plate of snacks in front of you and then Jake. “Don’t eat too fast, Pineapples.”

“Pineapples?”

“That’s Grandma’s nickname for me,” he answers between bites of food.

“I thought your nickname was JJ?”

“That’s just what Gina calls me, like I’m the only one that calls her GG. You can have different nicknames from different people.” He thought for a moment as he ate, swallowing with a grin. “How about I call you ‘Little Carrot’, because you’re wearing orange and you’re smaller than me.”

You looked down at your bright orange overalls and back at Jake with a grin of your own. “Okay, I like it. Can I still call you Pineapples, too? I really like it.”

“Yeah, but not around Gina.”

“Deal.”

-

“Jake!”

Jake turned away from his classmates at the lunch table, smiling when he saw you walking over with a paper in your hand.

“Hey, Little Carrot. What’s up?” he asks quietly as he scoots over to make room for you on the bench.

“I wanted to give you this later but I couldn’t wait. Your mommy helped me spell and stuff.”

You hand the paper to Jake, and his eyes widen in surprise. It was a drawing of a carrot and a pineapple holding hands (to the best of your ability but still pretty impressive), with a party hat above it that read “Happy Birthday to the best brother ever”.

“Aww, Jakey got a present from his wittle sister!” one of Jake’s classmates taunted over his shoulder, and Gina quickly cut in.

“Worry about yourself, bed-wetter.” She sent a thumbs up and a grin your way before turning back to her laughing friends, and Jake met your eyes again with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry about that meanie,” he quickly assured you when he noticed your eyes watering. “I’m gonna hang this up in my room.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! It’s really good and I wanna look at it all the time.”

A grin formed on your lips as you threw your tiny arms around Jake’s torso, wishing him one last “happy birthday” before hopping off the bench and running back to your lunch table. Jake took another look at your handmade card, ecstatic that you seemed to care about him as much as he cared for you.

-

“Okay, sweet boy, I got your favorite blue cake!” Karen grinned as she carried it into the room and placed it in the middle of the table, starting to light the candles.

“Wait. You’re not going to cut it yet, right?”

“Why not? We always do cake after dinner.”

Jake sighed heavily. “Dad’s not here yet.”

“I know sweetie, but I’m not sure what time he’ll be here and Gina has to go home soon.”

“Hey, JJ.” Gina nudged his shoulder and he looked over at her. “Maybe you can eat cake with him later, too! Then it’ll be like having two parties.”

“Yeah, you’re right! Okay, let’s do that.” He sat up a bit to lean toward the cake, turning to you with a grin. “Wanna help me blow them out?”

“But it’s your birthday,” you responded with a curious pout.

“Yeah, but you said you never got to do it before! Come on.” He pushed the cake closer to you with Karen’s help and you leaned in the same way he did. “Don’t forget to make a wish!”

Karen counted to three and the two of you closed your eyes and blew the candles out, opening them and cheering when you saw the flames were gone. She grabbed a knife and started cutting pieces for everyone while Gina held plates and you and Jake sat down normally again.

“Why do you make a wish like that?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “But you’re not supposed to tell anyone what you wished for.”

“Why not?”

“Because then it doesn’t come true.”

You nodded and made an exaggerated motion of zipping your lips, causing Jake to laugh. The four of you ate your slices of cake in silence, unaware that you were all wishing the same thing: that Roger would stop disappointing his son.

-

“Dad?”

Roger jumped violently, turning from hanging his coat and smiling at the sight of Jake.

“Hey, buddy! What are you doing up so late? Did I wake you?”

“I heard your car.”

“Well, come on. I’ll tuck you in.” He ruffled Jake’s hair a bit, using his other hand to guide him toward his room and frowning when Jake stopped him.

“No, you have to have cake with me.”

“Kid, it’s late--”

“You missed my party.”

“Okay,” he sighed, following Jake over to the table and cutting small pieces for them. “Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah! Mom and Gina got me really great gifts and Y/N made me a really nice card! It’s on the wall in my room if you wanna see it.”

“I’ll look in the morning.”

“Okay.” Jake puts his fork down with a sigh. “I really wish you could’ve been there, but I’m still glad you’re here now.”

-

Morning brought you and Jake to the table again for breakfast before school. After finishing your bowl of cereal and putting the dish in the sink, you headed back upstairs to grab your bookbag. You were almost past Karen’s room when you heard her crying to someone on the phone, catching a bit of the conversation through the crack in the door.

“...just left and I have to raise two kids by myself…”

You kept walking, remembering that in your old house, a crying woman meant you had to stay in your room and you definitely weren’t supposed to listen in on phone calls. Still, Karen was a lot nicer than those people, and she constantly told you that you didn’t need to be afraid to ask questions. You slipped your arms through the straps of your bag and knocked on the door when you approached it again.

“Everything okay, angel?” Karen questioned gently after opening the door, sniffling lightly.

“I heard you crying.”

“Oh no!” She laughed a bit despite the tears that threatened to break free. “I wasn’t crying. Well I was, but sometimes mommies just need to cry, okay? It’s nothing bad.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, good. Do you mind taking your brother his bag, too? I’m almost ready to leave.” You nodded and she hugged you tightly while thanking you, watching with watery eyes as you ran downstairs with Jake’s things. She had no idea how to tell either of you what a piece of shit Roger was, at least without using those exact words.

-

Tags: @beeblisss @makapaka11 @halfofwhatisayismeaningless @marie-03 @ochrythum @xetherealbeautyx @gaulty74

[linorangge]

Monarchy | Prince! Hyunjin AU

Among the kingdom, he’s known for his good looks and you can’t help but think that’s all he has to offer. With an uprising waiting to happen, you may be his last resort. (CONTENT WARNING: D3ATH, BLOOD, angst, fluff, cursing, suggestive language.) Part 1 | Part 5 | Word Count: 811

You waited until daylight to leave the apple tree. You discovered your father had arrived with the royal troops. They’d been searching the palace and found remaining rebels and incarcerated them. They had also found the dead members of the royal family, all except Eunjung, whose body was still laid by the apple tree in the orchard.

Hyunjin’s first order as king, to build a memorial in the garden for all the royal family members, and the guards who’d died. The memorial didn’t take too long to build. Maybe a year or so. But he refused to have his coronation until it had been built. In that time, you married him, and you did your training to be a knight. You were destined to be queen, but you did what you could before Hyunjin’s coronation. On Minjun’s birthday, Hyunjin went to your home and wept.

He cried into your chest the way he did under that apple tree. You played with his hair as he sobbed.

“I’m the face of this nation and even I can’t keep myself together.” He’d said.

“You’re human Hyunjin, you do what you can.” You had replied.

“It’s not enough.”

“You’ll always be enough.” You’d said before kissing his forehead.

On the day of his coronation, he prepared a long speech. A speech where he spoke of his family, of you, everything that had occurred in their final moments. You were given a medal of honor. You were an honorary knight, despite being the queen in line.

Some said the only reason you were married was because you wanted the prestige and money. The reality of it was that you had lived and seen so much together that at that point, it felt wrong to not get married. The amount of shared trauma you had was unbearable for anyone to understand. You were the closest thing to family Hyunjin had left.

On the day of his coronation, after the guests had left, and the corridors were empty, he took off his heavy crown and placed it in its special case. He crawled into bed and asked you to play with his hair as always.

“They’d be proud of you, you know.” You whispered.

“I know.” He whispered back.

“I love you Hyunnie.”

“I love you too.”

And this time, he switched positions, and held you in his chest. You cried together in each other’s embrace.

“Do you want to go see them?” You asked.

He nodded and rolled out of bed. You made yourselves presentable and you walked calmly down the stairs. With every floor you went through, the heart shattering memories crossed your mind. Hyunjin occasionally would wipe tears from his eyes.

Although the floors were cleaned and polished of the blood and bodies, he could still imagine the corpses, the blood, the sadness he felt. The pain remained.

Guards accompanied you to the garden, out to the memorial.

The memorial was made of a sort of alabaster or marble, you couldn’t tell the difference but the stone was beautiful. The memorial had been made for 62 people. At the very front of it, five large plaques, along with the sculptures of their heads, had been made for the fallen royal family.

“Let’s pick some flowers.” You said, squeezing Hyunjin’s hand. He nodded and you walked to the stone path. You picked some roses and handed them to him. He shaved the thorns off with every flower you gave him. Then you both walked back to the memorial and placed them on their plaques.

“I miss them.” He whispered, a tear falling down his cheek.

“I know.” You whispered back, as you read each plaque.

Everyday since that night you regretted having not been quick enough. You regretted almost everything from that night. If you hadn’t stayed in the palace though, and you’d just gone home, Hyunjin would’ve been dead. You would’ve carried even more guilt than you did now. The guilt was painful, but not unbearable. The only thing that kept you and Hyunjin going was each other. With every waking moment, and you’d rolled over and look at him, you were grateful that you had stayed. You didn’t regret having saved him. He didn’t regret having lived for you.

Hyunjin missed his family. He didn’t pin their deaths on you, hell the thought had never even crossed his mind. He was grateful that you had stayed with him. He was grateful you had even married him. You were everything he had left, and if he lost you he wasn’t sure what he’d do with himself. He loved you in the most genuine way. You were his first and his final, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. You were both content with each other despite the trauma you held.

Your happily ever after, was as close to happy as it could be.

_

god this was sad as hell sorry LMAO but yeah, sad times for Hyunjin nd y/n :( it was fun writing this nd I hope u guys enjoyed reading it,,, 

ill be working on more au’s after this series as usual, feel free to send requests, preferably one shots :D

much love, stay safe, drink water

-gg

[jcisthebestfightme]

BJYX Song #2: Nan Hai (Boy)

BJYX Song Series List

Okay dd, I promised I will write Nan Hai for you so here we go.

Disclaimer: My own thoughts only. I overthink. Don’t take this seriously.

This song is so complicated to analyze because dd changed the lyrics multiple times. I initially didn’t believe in the lyrics changing thing but I went back to watch the videos carefully and if you look at his mouth’s shape, the lyrics are definitely changed. And “ending CAN be changed” is super clear, which mean it’s not completely delusional to think he changed “thinking of you” to “meeting you”.

I think I will start with the original lyrics but also talk about why he changed the lyrics at where he did. 

曾经意外 他和他 相爱 (Once upon a time, by accident, he fell in love with her/him)

在不会 犹豫的时代 (In a time where people to do hesitate [to fall in love])

To me, the “accident” refers to love at first sight. We know that dd claims to fall in love at first sight and many clues (similar WB post, asking for wechat, handgun etc.) points to dd at least being attracted to gg at first sight. I think for “Nan hai” to fit, we must subscribe to the 2017 meeting love at first sight theory. The reason being dd singing this song first on 3/30/2018, which is 2 days after knowing he will play LWJ but before he got to know gg personally. It’s also possible he already likes this song and then later realize it fits gg and gave it to him. But then that means he’s thinking of someone else when he loves this song so much. And then he gave this song to gg? Wouldn’t he betraying that other person when he willing, unprompted gave the song to gg? This is why I stand the 2017 love at first sight. 

The “accident” can also be referring to falling in love or being attracted with a guy. It’s definitely not very conventional and for dd who was only 19 when meeting gg, it must’ve been a surprise. This theme also carries on to the next line, “in a time where people don’t hesitate”. I think this also points to homosexuality in this context because it’s talking about a time where people are more open. The original lyrics probably just refers to people being more open to dating in modern times. 

以为明白 (I thought I understood)

所以爱得痛快 (So I loved very straightforwardly)

一双手 紧紧放不开 (A pair of hands, unwilling to let go)

I’m under the assumption that gg and dd did not actually stay in contact after meeting in 2017. The reason being that if adding the WeChat is true, then it’s also true they said in an interview that they already added WeChat and never talked. If they did talk, they would try to hide this fact and not mention the already being friends on WeChat at all. With that in mind, I think this part of the lyrics that original is describing a past relationship that he can’t let go of doesn’t fit our story in March 2018. We can only say that dd may be referring to his naiveness and that he “thought he understood” love so he’s more straightforward about his love. “A pair of hands unwilling to let go” may be about how he’s not willing to let go of gg, thus being persistent.

In summer 2019 when dd mentions this song again, dd may be talking about his initial bluntness when approaching gg. We can see in the bts how obvious he is about his adoration. But over time, he probably learned that love is more than just telling the other person. Because of their status and environment, they often have to hide their love so it can no longer be as straightforward so it was in the beginning. But even then, he’s still unwilling to let go of gg. 

心中的 执着与未来 (The persistence and future in my heart)

In March 2018, the “persistence” matches with dd’s persistence to try to get close to gg. He was persistent about getting the role of LWJ, putting in his picture twice and then auditioning in person. The “future” refers to the unknown that will come with filming CQL. In summer 2019, the “persistence” is his willingness to keep fighting for their relationship even though it’s hard. The “future” at this point has more longevity and is about them spending their life together.

忘不了 你的爱 (I can’t forget your love)

但结局难更改 (But the ending cannot be changed)

The original lyrics here is the singer who already broke up with his lover and is reminiscing about their love. He’s sad that he cannot change their ending. In March 2018, dd is probably referring to not being about to forget gg even though they only met briefly. When he sang this song on 3/30/18, he changed “cannot” to “can”. He knew that he will be playing LWJ already so he’s changing his own ending by pursuing this role. Not surprise our little lion cub has decided to take destiny into his own hands and change a tragic ending into a happy one.

In ttxs recording in July, 2019, “忘不了 你��爱 (I can’t forget your love)” is the line that he purposefully wrote, and then looked at gg right afterwards. This means that this is the line that stuck out to him the most at this point in time. He’s telling gg that he will remember their love for the rest of their life. Compare this to June 2018 where when prompted to sing the song, he chose to sing the first line “曾经意外 他和他 相爱 (Once upon a time, by accident, he fell in love with her/him)”. At that point, their love is just the beginning of the story and it’s more just dd falling for gg. Now in 2019, their relationship has developed into not being able to forget each other. 

我没能把你留下来 (I couldn’t make you stay)

更不像他 能给你一个 期待的未来 (Unlike him/her, who could give you a expected future)

那幼稚的男孩 (That childish boy)

The original meaning of going through a breakup doesn’t fit again. But I think the second line refers to homosexuality. Dd feels like he can’t give gg an “expected future” because of their gender. Here, I think he’s coming himself to a girl, any girl, that can give gg what others may call a “complete, happy family.” 

He can also be insecure about his age. Since he’s much younger, he’s not sure what kind of future he can give gg. The “childish boy” refers to himself. Dd has always been insecure about his age compare to gg, evident whenever gg calls him a “kid”. (Fun fact: “That boy with a mole” is a homophone here so people joke he’s actually referring to gg.)

你的关怀一直随身携带 (Your caring, I bring it with me everywhere)

无人的地方再打开 (I open it [the caring] only when no one is already)

Here, I think it’s amazing that dd may not have known gg well at that point but can already tell he’s a very caring person. And in my own opinion, I think gg’s meticulous care for dd is what makes dd falls hard for him. 

想问你现在 (I want to ask if right now)

是否忧伤不再 (you are no longer sad)

像躺在阳光下的海 (Just like the ocean under the sun)

像用心涂抹的色彩 (like colors painted with love)

让你微笑起来 勇敢起来 (Let you smile again, brave again)

Here, there are coincidental reference to gg: painted colors because is an artist and smile because gg has a beautiful smile.

On dd’s birthday in 2019, gg was in Abu Dhabi and he posted an image of the ocean on instagram. The photo was time stamp at 17:52, which is 1:52pm in Abu Dhabi. If you on QQ, the time at “1:52” of “Nan Hai” is the “just like ocean under the song”. I can just imagine gg, looking at the ocean on dd’s birthday, thinking of him, thinking of his favorite song and taking a photo of it and sharing it. It’s definitely something I would do but would be too afraid no one will understand. And gg is known to do this, as pointed out by his solo fans. He timestamp a song lyrics from the album Kepler for his fans (see Analysis of Blue Sky White Cloud.)

想你就现在 (Thinking of you now)

想你 每当我又徘徊 (Thinking of you whenever I waver/wonder)

This is the part dd changed from “thinking” to “meeting” when he sang this song (4/2), the day before meeting gg for the first time on set (4/3). This is like fate has given him a second chance of meeting. To me, the way he sang this part is full of gratitude and unwillingness to let go of this love again. 

所有遗憾的 都不是未来 (All regrets are in the past, they are not conducive for our future)

所有爱最后都难免 逃不过伤害 (All love will have some inevitable pain)

不必再重来 (It doesn’t need to be repeat)

This part gives me a lot of hope. The original lyrics is trying to use this part to let go of this past relationship and move on. However, I think to dd, it means that they have a bright future ahead of them that he’s not willing to let go. In 2019, it can mean that whatever pain/misunderstanding they may have in the past year, they will move on to the future together. What is interesting is that the third line doesn’t specify “they.” Is it the “pain” that cannot be avoided or the “love” that they shared that should not be repeated? I think the original song’s meaning is the past love but for ggdd, it’s the any pain in their journey. 

现在我只希望疼痛来得更痛快 (Right now I just want the pain to come faster)

反正不能够重来 (Since [this love] cannot be redone)

In the original song, this ending implies that the singer has decided to wrap up this relationship with a nice bow and let go of it completely since he has determined they will not get together. What about ggdd? Their love hasn’t/can’t/won’t end, right? So what did dd do when he sang this song in April, 2018? He didn’t sing these two lines at all! He left the recording right before when this will come up in the song. He basically sang the whole song (the beginning was cut off but it seems like he was singing before the clip started) but left right before the very end. Why? Is it because he knows this love is not going to be in the past? Is it because he’s unwilling to ever let go of it?

You can argue that maybe he stop singing because he forgot the lyrics or that his throat was hurting (you can see him cough afterwards.) However, he was already lip-syncing some parts towards the end of the bridge. He could’ve continue to do so until the song ends, which is what people would logically do since it’s almost over. Probably my own delusional thinking again LOL

This is probably the most complicated analysis I’ve ever done since dd sang it during multiple time points and he changed the lyrics. But after writing this, I believe in their love even more, especially if you think about when and why he chose to sing certain parts and leave out others. Overall, I think this song is dd feeling insecure about his age and gender to be able to give gg a stable future. There’s definitely pain in this song but also a lot of love. Dd, you are the most passionate “nan hai” and will be loved by the passionate “nan hai.”

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl, EP. 4 Reaction & Review

Finally, I've gathered all of my thoughts for ep. 4! I had this really cool extra post to the intro and had more thoughts but then I lost the entire thing so I had to re-write the entire post SO, yeah, this is all I have for this part. Also, if anyone has those bts photos please let me know, i’m looking for the ones that have the audience reacting to max’s dick pick from the fashion show, aki biting his lip. please send. 

ADULTS:

Kate & CO: JAIL JAIL JAIL. We had that one teacher being turned on by incest and ruining kids lives. DO BETTER IN JAIL. I'll say tho, the male teacher makes a better gossip girl, he doesn't feel bad and is enjoying it. Kate could never.

Rafa: JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. I hate that they showed us this man having common sense. This man, pushing Max away sexually but understanding that he needs serious help. I hate that they just didn't have them flirting and show us him saying no, I'm so upset. I'm even more upset that I fell for him being the character to subvert the trope. I can only blame myself but blame HBO as well. I also hate the comments saying it's okay or well, the show needs scandal and spice. They could've been photographed together in normal clothes, just standing next to each other. Max could lie to GG. There are a bunch of ways these could become an IC scandal without having them cross the line. If you support this, you need help.

OUR KIDS:

Max: My boy needs therapy, lots of it. Maybe rehab. On one hand, he's being taken advantage of because he's clearly going through something and more than just his dads and he has been for a while. His escapism is dangerous and anyone would be able to prey on that. On the other hand, I need someone to beat his ass. His lines to Rafa about money and career were punch worthy and out-right willing to lie about Rafa doing something to him, even just to press Rafa's buttons. He needs help, he needs to be taught boundaries, he needs a lot. And why were the only two people concerned for his week-long disappearance Aki and Audrey, the whole squad should've had the guns out, friends since childhood, sure.

Obie: My boy, I get that you didn't like where you saw Zoya headed. I get that in some aspects you were right about her being a little too involved and suspecting Julien. That being said, she was having real problems and troubles and needed support. Do better. Obie still isn't the worst character on the show and many of them are SOOOO much worse. He doesn't deserve the all of the smoke he's been getting when their are better people for it.

Monet & Luna: I hate them as people and love them as characters that move the plot. I guess I could see how they thought the fuck school thing was horrible (and Julien too since she planned on showing Obie). The directors cut, I don't think they thought it'd ruin Zoya, they're just fucking cruel and found it funny. Let's box. Also, why are ya'll so pressed over this CHILD. Like get over it, find a real up-coming social media star. 

Aki & Audrey: My good sis, you brought a gay man to make Aki jealous. I'm sick, it was fucking funny. Her comments at first were off the wall, I wish the writers would've done something else but a lot of woman don't see it as normal so I sort of get it. I'm glad she came around by the end. And Aki...he was a little spicy this episode, my boy was ready to pop off a bit AND I AM HERE FOR IT. My dude said, 'I don't regret kissing him' I was THROWN. Aki being with Audrey helps me like her more because she's a bitch that's still ready to gun for a now 15 year old girl but her and Aki's relationship is cute. They could break up and be fine which is great, I love that their relationship is really more than just dating and the friendship is strong. I'm here for it.

Zoya: It's just bad writing but my head canon is trauma. Trauma from her moms death death, trauma from the past and current bullying that caused her lash out. I felt like this was her breaking point (so far) and anything gossip girl related as always came around to Julien. If she trusted Julien more, she wouldn't have thought of her as the person causing her issue's but she doesn't trust her. They were civil but even at the end of ep 2. Her 'hell yeah' to Julien about bonding was too dry, too dry. I think a big part of her just doesn't trust Julien and she'll always think the worse because she's seen mostly the worse. And that video, horrible, I'd hate everything about my birthday too after that and even before. Her emotions during the scene and the talk with Julien, ouch. And while I'm happy that Zoya found herself in the end, YES GIRL POP OFF. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS THE FLAVOR. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS AND I WANT MORE. I DEMAND MORE. I SEE A SPARK OF A BITCH, LET HER OUT GO, GO ALISON DELAOTRUINES ON THESE BITCHES.

Julien: Once again, I love Julien as a character, I know she's supposed to be struggling and for that, It's fun to watch her BUT. Julien could never be on my team, she's too wishy-washy. That is my issue, she's too, just...flip-floppy with no substance. Like, when she does things wrong, they're expected  to be forgiven / are forgiven without true reflection or anything on her part. She fucks up, she see's its wrong and then she says sorry and goes on it does it again. This episode was just the worst example, like, the moment she heard buffalo, she was ready to send in a tip. Instead of just doing the party normally and being best because she's hear, she sends the video to Monet. She believes Luna and Monet (Monet talking about her throne being taken when Zoya isn't even an influencer) and she eats it up. They were the ones who did the dick pick thing, like girl, THINK. And why does she never get the full plan, why would she not watch the video or why is she so shocked that Luna and Monet would play something like that? She knows them. Friends since childhood? Sure. Using your moms name to make the party about charity? SIS, THE FEUD IS NOT WORTH IT. She says she wants to be sisters but then she switches up so fast and the witches up again, it's whip-last and I'm sick. I hate that she's doing this to her and I hate even more that's is the writers fault. I don't mind a character having personal conflict but make it a conflict. Like after four episodes, why is she still friends with her sisters bullies? At the end of the episode, she says she's gonna tell them to lay down their weapons, NO, shut it down. correct them. make it clear and make it known. I love my girl because she's flawed but I wish they'd linger on things and have her really think about it. I was fine with the i'm sorry speech up until the camera part.

Other random thoughts

fuck the rafa max thing again, i'm not over, i will never be over it

evan mock isn't the best but he does give me face at times, his 'wtf stare', little sly looks, the 'wtf' moment when audrey first asked him if he was gay like 'this bitch' also, give him more annoyed, irritated scenes, he gives in those

have julien go full nice or full evil for a while, pick a side and stick with it for more than one episode

i wish zoya was a bitch at her old school but i'm fine with this too, it explains why she was so reactionary when it came to the bullying at constance, not again!

i wish we could've seen julien talk with davis after that stunt

nick and davis, KISS, the ride scene was 100%

don't talk about obie so soon

i like that she chose to be with julien for the night, it was cute

emily makes these faces that i can't get with

eli brown is a good actor, that shot of him during the traumatic reveal

i will say, zobie might be boring but when they talk, they talk, their communication is p good, i don't hate it

i’d be here for obie x aki bc they’re friends, they got chemistry, aki was giving look lil up and downs this episode, aki was giving a lot of looks this ep, honestly, idk i just don’t want him heart broken 

aki menzies is still my comfort character

i couldn't take rafa serious with his ass out,

whitney's acting in that talk scene, perfect, my girl had me in tears because DAMN

jordan is pretty good but in that scene, go girl, give me nothing

fuck max and rafa

max lied about his dads or at least one, AT LEAST one, i don't think they'd do that, he saw his in and took it

aki and aud, just have that open relationship, ya'll will make it, the way he tucked into her, it was so sweet

davi and nick secret relationship plot

jail for all of the teachers, once again

the hallway scene was great, the cinematography is been clutch overall

music wasn't as jarring

that's about it! i have more thoughts on the show overall that might be another post, they have a lot of amazing ideas but they need to stick with one and flush it out is the overall gist, i'm still into it!

can't wait for five bc i love the angst that's about to hit.

[the-himawari]

A3! Sakuma Sakuya - Translation [SR] MANKAI Playback (2/2)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Sakuya: Uwahh… It’s full of people!

Izumi: (Sakuya-kun looks happy… I’m glad.) (…As expected, the uniform is a bit embarrassing though.)

Masumi: *Sigh*… Director’s cute… Our uniform really suits you…

Izumi: D-does it…?

Tsuzuru: How many times are you gonna go on with that? I’ve heard you say that 5 times already…

Masumi: I’ll say it countless times. At least 100 more times.

Izumi: Ummm… Where are the other three?

Tsuzuru: In the changing room. Itaru-san still hasn’t prepared his heart yet.

Izumi: Yeah, I understand how he feels. I never thought that it would actually turn out like this…

*flashback starts*

Izumi: I’m fine with going to an amusement park, but even without uniforms…

Masumi: You can’t, I want to go on a uniform date with Director.

Itaru: Alright, so only Director-san.

Izumi: Hey, that’s not fair..! If I’m doing this, then I’m taking everyone with me!

Itaru: Ehh… Tsuzuru, you’re against the uniforms, right?

Tsuzuru: I wore a school uniform in our performance the other day, so I don’t really mind.

Itaru: Seriously? An unexpected betrayal.

Citron: Give up!

Itaru: Now, now, we still have senpai.

Chikage: Well it’s true I’d like to decline… Give me a break and let me be the teacher in charge.

Citron: No way! It’s meaningful if everyone does it together!

Itaru: —Oh yeah, we don’t have enough uniforms! I mean we don’t have 4 sets of them, right?

Masumi: If it’s uniforms, we can borrow one from Banri; Banri and I both have spares.

Tsuzuru: Just give up already, you three. At this point, we’re all in the same boat.

Sakuya: I’ll ask my friends too!

Itaru: GG…

Chikage: Good grief…

Izumi: We have no choice but to give up, huh…

*flashback ends*

Tsuzuru: We told them we were forcing them to come along and then finally… Ah, they’re here, they’re here.

Itaru: Ugh, this is seriously cringe! Let me go home right now, I beg you!

Chikage: Give up. You’re not the only one suffering.

Citron: You’re horrible at sports!*

Itaru: You mean we’re terrible sports.

Chikage: Sorry for the wait.

Sakuya: Wahh! Both Itaru-san and Chikage-san look great in their uniforms!

Chikage: Thank you, Sakuya. …I should’ve avoided the role of a high school student though.

Itaru: Serves you right for tripping the flag… is what I want to say, but I’m also involved here.

Tsuzuru: Anyways, everyone’s here now so let’s go in.

Chikage: Ah, before that, I have something I want you to promise me. It’s that we definitely won’t take any photos.

Itaru: It’s legit a matter of life or death if I’m seen by the people at the office like this. So it’s especially the worst of the worst if Kazunari finds out. So pictures are absolutely NG, kthx.

Tsuzuru: Ahh, that guy… He’ll probably post it to instablam in the blink of an eye.

Izumi: That’d be rough for me too…

Sakuya: I understand! Though that’s kind of too bad.

Citron: It can’t be helped. If the birthday boy can live with that, then I can live with it too!

Masumi: Let’s go already. My date time with Director is decreasing.

Tsuzuru: You seriously don’t waver, huh…

Citron: Sakuya, you’ve put your birthday badge on properly, right?

Sakuya: Yes!

Izumi: You get various benefits when you’re wearing the birthday badge, right?

Sakuya: Yes, I can’t wait!

-pause-

Cast member A: Happy birthday!

Sakuya: Thank you very much!

Izumi: The effect of the birthday badge really is impressive, huh?

Sakuya: I’m happy various cast members called out to me and also put on performances for me.

Tsuzuru: For now, what should we ride first?

Masumi: The Ferris wheel.

Sakuya: It seems fun if we ride it together, right!

Izumi: If it’s the Ferris wheel here, then it looks like we can all fit inside.

Masumi: Even though I wanted the two of us to ride it together, why did it turn out everyone’s joining…

Tsuzuru: Alright, alright, you can do that next time. Sakuya said he wants everyone to ride it together.

Masumi: …I got it. But I’m the one who will sit next to Director.

-pause-

Izumi:  The haunted house was pretty scary and intense…!

Sakuya: Right? At first, it was scary and intense. But Citron-san taught me all the names of the ghosts so then rather than being scared, I started to feel a bond with them.

Tsuzuru: The names of the ghosts…

Sakuya: Mii-chan, Takkun, he knew everyone’s names!

Citron: The other day on TV, they said when you think you’re scared, if you give them names then you can be content** over your fear!

Itaru: You mean you can conquer your fear.

Citron: That’s it!

Izumi: (That sounds like a lesson from a children’s education program…)

-pause-

Chikage: It’s about lunch time, right?

Izumi: Fufufu, I’ve been waiting to hear those words! Tah daaah! Actually, I made lunch boxes!

Masumi: Director’s handmade lunch box…! I’ll eat them all.

Izumi: Tsuzuru-kun and I made them together for everyone.

Masumi: …Then I’ll only eat the parts that were made by Director.

Tsuzuru: You get nothing.

Sakuya: Ah! It’s napolitan!

Option 1: “Because that’s what Sakuya-kun likes.”

Izumi: Yeah, because that’s what Sakuya-kun likes!

Sakuya: Thank you very much… I’m happy!

Chikage: As expected of Director-san. By the way, I’d be glad if you had tabasco sauce.

Masumi: I don’t understand why you’d put tabasco in the precious food she made.

Option 2: “Its colour combination is nice too, right?”

Izumi: Its colour combination is nice too, right!

Sakuya: That’s true… there’s a lot of garnishes put in.

Itaru: This isn’t the amount you put in for garnishes. They’re the main dish.

Izumi: Eat up, alright, Sakuya-kun!

Sakuya: Yes!

Citron: And now, we can’t forget about this! Happy birthday~!

Sakuya: That’s a big cake! Wait, from where!?

Citron: Fufufu… The surprise is a huge success! Our preparations were perfect!

Sakuya: I’m really happy! Thank you very much, everyone! I was longing for this a little—going out and having fun to my fullest in my uniform. I never imagined it would come true after I graduated…

Izumi: …That’s so great, right, Sakuya-kun?

Sakuya: Yes! U-um… I have something I'd like to do.

Tsuzuru: It’s rare for Sakuya to say something like that.

Izumi: That’s true… What is it that you want to do?

Sakuya: Would you please allow me to take a picture with my smartphone? Just one photo for my memories is enough, so…!

Izumi: A picture…?

Sakuya: I definitely won’t show it to anyone else!

Tsuzuru: That’s fine with me but… How about Itaru-san and you guys?

Chikage: …If the main lead today says so then it can’t be helped.

Itaru: Well, I guess it’s only fine if Sakuya’s the one who takes it. Since I’m sure he won’t send it to anyone.

Sakuya: Thank you very much!

Citron: I brought a shellfish stick!***

Sakuya: Shellfish stick?

Tsuzuru: Could you mean a selfie stick?

Citron: That’s it!

Izumi: …Alright. I think everyone’s in frame. Make sure to smile properly, alright, Itaru-san and Chikage-san.

Chikage: I understand.

Itaru: Roger.

Izumi: Then once again, Sakuya-kun…

Troupe members: Happy birthday!

*click*

---

*Citron says "お嬢様が悪い" (ojou-sama ga warui: ~the young mistress is bad), which Itaru corrects as "往生際が悪い" (oujougiwa ga warui: a phrase meaning ~being a sore loser/not knowing when to give up) **Citron says "幸福" (koufuku: happiness/joy), which Itaru corrects as "克服" (kokufuku: overcome/conquer) **Citron says "千鳥足" (chidoriashi: staggering/drunken steps), which Tsuzuru corrects as "自撮り棒" (jidoribou: selfie stick)

And here’s a clear shot for everyone~

previous |

[little-ideas]

What the Haruto

In which you know Mankai and Haruto falls for you

@julias-cherry-garden HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ this didn’t start out as a birthday present, but it can try to end as one :3 i hope i made it in time  Hope you enjoy some lovely Haruto stuffs, though please note I do love giving him shit and am behind on reading ^^;

This man is a bonefide tsun brat and whatever made you fall in love with him is beyond me, but you love to watch him suffer as he tries to sort out his feelings for you vs his feelings for Mankai and your association with them. Honestly? Good for you that's prime entertainment right there

He doesn't realize you're with Mankai at first - he sees you in the audience during a street act and takes offense that you aren't swooning over him, especially after he blew you a kiss

Well, some people are just immune to greatness

Fine then, be that way it's your loss he'll just cater to all his other fans

Except it's still bugging him and he can't get you off his mind

He sees you again later and if you see him and smile, wave, or nod your head in polite greeting, he's toast

His face goes red and his ego inflates at your recognition of him

And then he sees you turn to someone who just called out to you and he scowls

Oh no. Of course. Of course you have to be friendly with one of them

Those lowly, untalented, up-and-coming theater jerks of Mankai. Fuck

But your name is really nice Haruto wishes he were calling you instead of them

He'll look for you literally every time he goes out

Loves when you see him in a street act and will perform just a little harder for you if you stick around to watch

He has no idea he's doing this though or is in adamant denial about it

Then Reni mentions it and he's screwed

Immediately storms over to Mankai and demands to see you

If you're not there then gg Haruto Mankai is never going to let this go

He is under interrogation and when it clicks that he likes you all hell breaks loose

If you are there, he'll approach by demanding to know what the hell you've done to him and listing off all the ways you've been stealing his attention

Yuki or Kaz will overhear and just deadpan that he likes you

To which he'll deny but you know differently

But whereas Haruto has fallen head over heels at first sight, you haven't (+ the whole Mankai v Godtroupe thing) so you'll start off taking it slow & getting to know him

He MUST apologize to Mankai first and swear he won't insult them

It's HARD for him to do this, but somehow he manages

Taichi & Tasuku are definitely protective of you and Haruo will have to win their tolerance. Approva lmay never come

The 2 will stalk your dates and will try to talk you out of it

Tasuku will probably get over it because he did work with Haruto and has seen some of his good sides

Taichi will likely take your relationship with Haruto as betrayal and will be severely hurt by this

Haruto is going to struggle so much with not insulting Mankai while with you

He can do it though, just give him time

Reni isn't too pleased, but that's his own problem

You will be the only person Haruto doesn't try to murder for using his birth name

Lean in and whisper into his ear and he'll get so flustered

If you don't do something like "Thank you *leans in* Gen. Ta~" then know I'm judging you

When Mankai is ok w/ your relationship they'll try to get you to do things to mess w/ Haruto

Depending on what the idea is, bet them on it and rake in the money

Haruto will not say it out loud, but steal and wear his sweaters and he will think you're the cutest

Even better if you wear it to/around Mankai he'll be so smug

Attend all of his shows on opening night -he'll look for you in the audience and be upset if you don't

For all of his griping and smug attitude, Haruto is a sensitive person concerned with others' perception of him, so please be careful

He will be so distraught if compared to others-especially if they are Tasuku or Taichi

He may not seem like it, but Haruto will remember all of your anniversaries and important dates. He'll try to have the "perfect" day and is visibly upset when it doesn't go the way he envisioned

Please tie his hair into pigtails

This man is a freaking perfectionist that gives Yuki a run for his money. Your outfits don't coordinate? He'll try to fix that. Buy matching phone charms and hold his hand to get him shut up and start your date

Haruto will be very conflicted if you ask to help him practice his lines -on one hand, having someone else to read off the other parts is less exhausting. On the other, he doesn't want you to see him stumbling over his lines and tripping up with his dialect

Speaking of his dialect, he will do his damnedest to never let you hear it, no matter how you ask or if you love it. You'll have to wait for the rare moments he gets angry or his parents call him. So long as no one else is around, he'll unintentionally slip into it when talking with his parents and that's probably the only time you get to hear him

HIS HOBBY. Omg his hobby. Please. He's going to try and write you a nice letter instead but may end up struggling like the Dickens. Should he be on tolerable terms with Mankai, he may swallow his pride and ask Tasuku for help. Depending on his mood, Tasuku may send him to Homare in which case good luck

Regardless if he gets outside help, you may stumble across his many discarded drafts with your name scrawled across them and a bunches of crossed out lines

He's trying really hard

Yes, he'll mature and become more mellow/more secure as the years go by

He'll be embarrassed by his past, and tries to make up for it. He and any Mankai members still in theater maintain a friendly rivalry and they will tease him about his younger days of dating you

Nobody saw this lasting, but here you are

[gilded-green]

In celebration of the 10th anniversary, I’ll probably reread GG and send updates/highlight areas and as for commentary. Probably XD

But first. What aspect of Gilded Green was your favorite? What was something you put in a lot of world building for but never got to show either in fic or on tumblr. Who is your favorite character and why, what makes them special in your eyes? Which character has turned into a completely different one as soon as you started writing them? Which part of the fic did you like most when you finished it, do you still like it? Similarly, which part do you dislike most?

Lasty, anything about gg2’s story you want to share/talk about/rant?

-love, the dai li fangirl

Haha, no pressure! But at the same time yes if you do feel free to send me passages for commentary here! <3

What aspect was my favorite? Hmmm. *thinking face* I think, when I first came up with it, I was just thrilled to have these two small things - minor character Lu Ten, overlooked villain organization Dai Li - that I was able to combine into something so big. That was pretty nifty!

As I started developing the story, I think what really caught my attention was the fact that “Wow, all these characters are awful people!” Like. The Dai Li aren’t good.The Fire Nation aren’t good. Lu Ten is a victim but also an oppressor. All off these people have extremely different beliefs and worldviews - Fire supremacist, police state enforcers, classist academic gatekeepers - and all of them think THEY’RE in the right here and none of them are. I think Tien and Hoang might be the only people with a decent, non-oppressive worldview in the story so far. XD I was growing out of the storytelling trope of black-and-white morality at the time, so it was really fun to start experimenting with writing awful people as enjoyable, sympathetic characters.

World building? Hmm. I was just learning how to use my worldbuilding muscles back then. I seem to remember reading up a lot on how brainwashing actually works in the real world and going “I don’t think this is compatible with what we have in ATLA” and just kinda tossing that whole thing out. XD I also recall looking up a lot of stuff for the bits about Jouin, some of which - kalua pig! - has since shown up again in WFFD. I also recall someone on FFdotnet at the time saying “All this chapter did was tell us more about a dead character than the living one” and I was just kinda like -_- yes because he is DEAD and this is your chance to feel sorry about that, we’ll get plenty more of the living one later on account of him still being, y’know, alive. XD

Oh, and Shirong’s personal side projects. I finally got into that a bit in A Meeting of Minds, but the dude DOES have his own stuff going on, which Delun so rudely interrupted to drag him off to see Long Feng about brainwashing a Firebender.

I also did a bunch of research for the birthday party interlude, I think. Mostly appropriate alcohol for such an occasion? And....okay, this’ll sound funny, but.....food containers. I wanted Fen to pack up leftovers for Suyin and Shirong. That’s what my Italian family does after get-togethers, and I assumed that a Chinese family/friend group would do the same! But I also had, like, zero exposure to everyday Chinese life, let alone everyday Chinese life in the 1800s, and I just didn’t have the...idk, cultural osmosis? to figure it out. Like, if you asked me how Victorians would transfer food I’d probably come up with “Idk, wrap it in cloth and stuff it in a basket?” and I assumed people living in modern China would also be able to explain what their people did for food storage/transport 150 years ago but I didn’t have that cultural background, now, did I??? Also this was 10-12 years ago I was looking this up, mind you, the internet was still very different, there was plenty of information on Chinese historical events but not on everyday life objects, CDramas weren’t easy to find if they were translated at all and I certainly didn’t know they existed, and no one was posting beautiful aesthetic videos of life in a rural Chinese mountain village to youtube yet. Eventually I learned that bamboo baskets were a thing, but there wasn’t much info on THOSE either and I wasn’t sure how to describe them, so I just tentatively typed “basket” and called it a day. XD

YOU CANNOT ASK ME TO CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER THAT’S LIKE ASKING ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN!!! *shoves Yong off a cliff*

I’m very fond of the Dai family, along with the Trungs and Sais. I’m very proud of how Tuan turned out. I adore Yuan, who you’ve barely met, and Xun, who you haven’t. Huang and Wu Sheng are also definite faves and I can’t wait for y’all to get to know them better.

Characters do usually behave for me in terms of personality development. They surprise me, but they never really turn out to be the complete OPPOSITE of what I was expecting? They just kinda develop organically. Huang and Wu Sheng surprised me, tho, those boys got deep. I knew they had the potential, but developing their backstory actually caused Stingrae and I to develop Ba Sing Se’s socio-political backstory and Long Feng’s rise to power, all because of an inkling I had. That was a very satisfying few years of worldbuilding and story development.

Um, favorite part of the fic....idk, I’m very fond of the final scene, with Azula and her wall chunk from Lu Ten. I’m doubly fond of it because of how it always resonates with readers. Heck, during Azula week last year, I used that chunk of rock as an ongoing theme in Sandstone, and someone commented like “I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WROTE GILDED GREEN” and that made me really happy!

Lu Ten’s time stuck underground - I used the seven stages of grief to get through that one and it was very helpful in structuring that part of the story, and I figured it was deep or something because PSYCHOLOGY.

I’m also proud of myself for getting through the dark brainwashing scenes. So, like, FYI, fanfiction could get...very dark, back in the 00s. People love to play purity police these days and complain about how nasty people get can, but listen. Listen. Do you have any idea how dark FFdotnet got back in the day? Legolas And Aragorn Get Captured By Orcs And Brutally Tortured was an entire genre. I feel like torture fic was actually a lot more common back then, and darkfic in general - I’m sure someone could write a whole thesis on why it’s not so prevalent anymore, I’m gonna guess the fact that fandom is less-insulated and more public now could be part of it, maybe also the fact that the internet is more social media/influencer culture based so people care about their image, and also the purity police which is its own kettle of worms, but I also think that the Bush Administration had something to do with it? You have all these kids who were pre-teens when 9/11 happened, growing up during the Iraq War with an awful presidential administration while everyone was scared and conservative Christianity started to realize that their control over the nation’s “morality” might be slipping and reacted accordingly......yeah there was a lot of darkfic back then.

And I read a lot of darkfic too, but, uh....well, statistically speaking, a lot of writing is bad, okay? A lot of those fics were just weird; you could see where the writer had this idea, and also where they failed to execute it in a way that resonated or made sense. And whatever, writers were young and just wanted to pound out some catharsis, it’s cool, but it still just felt narratively awkward when you could tell how the writer was more focused on LET’S MAKE THIS AS DARK AS POSSIBLE instead of “Let’s tell this as well as possible.”

So the first several attempts at writing the brainwashing scenes, I was nervous because I didn’t want to get TOO dark, and when I finally decided “eff it” and said to Stingrae “I think I need to let this be as dark as it needs to be” I was still nervous because I didn’t want it to end up WEIRD. Idk if that makes sense, but anyway I seem to have done a decent job at it!

As for parts I dislike the most, uhhhhh Iroh’s retreat (I didn’t care, I just wanted to get it over with), Enlai might’ve been promoted too fast? idk, the fact that I came up with Nanyue AFTER I finished publishing GG so I couldn’t work that into the Quy bits, the fact that I was young and innocent and didn’t understand sexual slang or innuendo and randomly chose Dong as the name of the court physician which could lead to some awful puns except no one ever seemed to pick up on that and maybe I’ll regret pointing it out but the man IS going to appear again so I might as well get the first shot in myself. XD

I might have GG2 stuff to talk about but not sure, if I do I’ll make another post on that!

<3

[imdoingthismspaintadventure]

In which we close a narrative loop and dave is a tsun

Dave: Get the damn beta and save your friend's life!

Let’s get a move on!!

Finally the betas are easily accesible when we want them to be, instead of spending 40 pages finding them by doing things like throwing cakes out the window

This notion strikes you as nonsensical. You can't imagine how a video game could save someone's life, and in any case, you're quite sure no one you know is in any danger.

.... fucking what

Is this before the other things? Have we gone slightly back in time in terms of the general story? Is this while John was fucking around in his room?

....Does this mean that we will lose these betas somehow in the inmediate future because nothing can ever be easy? Oh no

Anyway, these are your copies of the beta you received in the mail recently. You've labeled them with your name in BOLD RED PRINT to distinguish them from your BRO's copies, who labeled his in kind. Neither of you really gives a shit about this game or has any intention of playing it, but you'll be damned if you'll let that get in the way of your campaign of one-upmanship.

What is it with these kids and weird family relationships?

I predict we will lose our copies and we will have to get Bro’s copies, based on that each kid so far has had their parent/authority figure as an antagonistic force.

Dave: Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.

Oh god this is indeed a pattern we are going to be following!

We had the “wrong name” bit, the “find your arms” bit, the “idiotic command” bit....Are we going to do them again for GG when they are introduced? I wonder what this command will be then.

You would never consider allowing any fluid even remotely resembling urine to touch your beloved TURNTABLES. That would risk breaking them, and a world without the gift of your godly science just doesn't sound like a place you want any part of. While you're at it, you might as well wipe out human civilization with a meteor or something ridiculous like that which will probably never happen.

I like that the “on your turntable” part is the outrageous part of “bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable” for Dave. Kid values his raps more than his life. Although it’s probably true that the world would be lesser without those wonderful, wonderful things.

And yeah, nothing to worry about with meteors and such, Dave. I’m sure nothing bad will happen, ever. Just like how those game copies you have are going to be safe and accesible forever.

That sort of thing only happens in stupid idiot movies for stupid idiots.

Oh come on, I’m sure you can find a bit of value in them, even if it’s in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way.

==>

...wait, are you really considering it?

You will however contemplate bleating like a goat for IRONICALLY HUMOROUS purposes at a later date.

...I will keep that in mind in case it comes up later.

If PS has taught me anything is that these comics are Chekhov’s armories

Dave: Examine closet.

So inside the closet there is yet another package (probably a gift from John, judging by the pattern we seem to be having. Seriously, do all these kids send each other presents in the same manner? ) and some sort of drink?

This is your closet. This is where you keep a lot of your crap.

Most accurate description of a closet ever

Like that BOX. And that bottle of... what is that? Is that...?

.....

Is that seriously a jar of piss? I would say “wtf” loudly, but your room is such a weird combination of things (including those weird fetus/ dissecated animals/ weeeeird shit) that I wouldn’t even be suprised

Dave: Check the blue box.

.....WHAT?

W-Why is there the BLACK OILY SUBSTANCE THAT STAINED THE KITCHEN WHERE JOHN IS STRANDED IN THE VOID HERE, ON THE PACKAGE??

Does the oil have multiversal properties? If it stains one’s house it also retroactively stains his possesions?? Or is this package from after those events?? Has it gone back in time??

WHAT??

But first let’s stop for a moment to appreciate the fact that Dave has a signed Stiller poster

This is the package that your friend John Egbert sent you for your 13th birthday a little while ago. It now contains nothing except a NOTE and a CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY vouching for the genuine Hollywood memorabilia which the box originally contained, and which you are now wearing to be IRONIC but also to be INCREDIBLY COOL IN A WAY SOMEHOW INTANGIBLY RELATED TO THE IRONIC NATURE OF THE ACCESSORY. You find it sort of exasperating to explain these subtleties to people.

John gave him the shades!! And they are apparently the real shades Ben Stiller wore in the movie!! That means that they are not *the* universal shades of PS, unless the shades in the Stiller bust were these ones and they somehow ended up there. But isn’t PS a videogame in this universe? But these shades had the universal glow?

Let’s not think too hard about that. It’s probably just an easter egg.

Also Dave please write a thesis on irony, the world needs it please.

The BOX also included a signed photo of BEN STILLER which now proudly hangs above your closet. Proudly and IRONICALLY.

I really like this totally (un)cool hipster kid.

Dave: Take box.

ohwahtthefuck

WHY ARE THE SYLLADEXES GETTING WORSE???

So it classifies things based on the balance of consonants and vocals in the name of the object and assigning an index value like in a hash map.

Oh boy this is a completely useless one in terms of getting shit done quickly, unless you have a godly grasp on words and their composition.

You captchalogue the BOX through your HASH MAP FETCH MODUS. Your modus's current HASH FUNCTION resolves the index by valuing each consonant at 2, and each vowel at 1. The total is divided by your number of cards, and the remainder is the index. BOX = 2 + 1 + 2 = 5 5 % 10 = 5 The BOX is captchalogued in card 5.

Just...LOOK at this

Look at this madness.

Dave: Examine jar of unknown yellow substance in the closet.

I don’t know why, but the combination of the quick turnaround, the fanfare and the fucking apple’s face makes this way more funny than it should be.

So it WAS apple juice after all.

Oh hell yes. It is an unopened container of APPLE JUICE. You thought you were all out. It is like fucking christmas up in here. This is so great. You've got to tell John about this immediately. He'll be so excited.

Oh wait, is this before the first conversation, when Dave and John talked about Little Monsters and Apple Juices? Is this why that conversation was as out of left field as it was?

I see how it all fits together now

Dave: Take juice.

You captchalogue the JUICE into card 7. 2+1+1+2+1 %10 = 7.

Dear god is this system nightmarish

Dave: Access Pesterchum and pester John.

Oh I can see the loop closing!

In addition to letting your buddy know about this outstanding juice windfall, you figure you'll wish him a happy birthday while you're at it. In your own cool, sort of roundabout way of course. Good thing you looked at that box he sent you, or you might have forgotten. You also might as well ask him about that beta. The kid's been harping about it for weeks. It would be cool if it came on his birthday. He'd be one happy camper.

Dave is such a tsundere in his friendships holy shit. You care about your friends a lot you dork

That background is rad

Wtf is “Complete Bullshit” as an app. (Probably some complete bullshit)

Ill beats because the laws of this universe demand it

Hephaestus, isn’t that the god of the blacksmiths and craftsmen? Cool icon. Reminds me of those flash games where the icons all fought each other.

Of course his emote in Pesterchum is  S m o o t h

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:13 -- TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny. TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage? TG: but TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle? EB: try using your brain numbnuts. TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice. TG: ok i can accept that TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.

And they DID indeed have the exact same conversation!!!

We are indeed back in time!!

We are sooooo gonna lose those Betas!!!! : D

[prorevenge]

Pretend you like me to get taken out on expensive dates? I'll trick you into paying!

So this one might be a bit tame for this subreddit, but hopefully you guys still get a kick out of it. I am new to the subreddit and just reddit in general, so I'd love to hear your feedback! (Also gonna be a long one so hold on to your butts)

For context, my family is in a very fortunate position finacially, and I would describe myself as upper-middle class. This story happened a few years ago when I was at university. It was a fairly small university, so many of the students lived locally, in a generally very working-class area. I also have a twin brother who goes to a different university nearby, who has a small part to play in this story.

I had never really had much luck with dating due to having some pretty niche hobbies and interests, so it was hard to find people I can relate to and really click with, but I would always get on, and remain friends with people if things didn't work out. I ended up dating a few girls on the uni netball team, they all seemed nice but again, it was clear we were not a great match. Because I stayed on good terms with everyone, I ended up spending a lot of time around the people I had previously dated, but just as friends. Consequently, most people on the netball team were familiar with me.

Enter the greedy girl (GG). She was a bit of an outlier in the team and didn't speak much, so nobody knew much about her. One day, she comes up to me and asks me out on a date, this was a nice surprise as I was normally the one asking, so I said yes, as I had no reason to dislike her at this point. After I say yes we chat for a bit and she keeps trying to shoehorn into conversation the fact that she, like many others around here, doesn't have a lot of money. I didn't really think about it too much at the time, but in hindsight it was obvious.

To keep the story short, I won't explain the dates, we went on 3 before I realised how greedy she was. All you guys need to know is that I paid for everything on every date, but I didn't mind doing this. We normally went out on weekends.

One day I went to the library to get some work done, the desks have tall partitions between them for independent work, but whispering was still allowed in this area. Over the partition in front of me I hear GG's voice whispering to a friend. I begin to stand up to say hi, but stop myself to listen to their conversation just before my head emerged over the top. She was talking about me, calling me things like a "posh c*nt", but saying she was going to let me take her on a few more dates because I took her to fancy bars and bought her expensive drinks. I thought about it and realised that she had always gone for the most expensive drinks on our dates so far, so I decided it was time for some revenge. I left the library without being seen. A few days later I actually saw her driving a brand new BMW Z4, so she was clearly pretty damn rich herself.

The best and fanciest bar in this town was owned by my best friend and her family. It was a small bar, but very high-end, with some of the drinks being over £15 for a VERY small drink. Therefore, not many of the students went in, but if you were invited there on a date, it was a special one. I spoke to my friend, whose family owned the bar, and got her in on my plan for revenge, ensuring she would have my back if things went wrong. I was pretty paranoid about getting caught, because I planned on tricking GG into paying for everything that night, up to a total of the cost of ALL the previous dates combined (in excess of £250). To cover my tracks, I asked my twin brother if he wanted to go out with my friends to the pub, telling him my plan and that I would give him some money if he went out dressed like me and with his hair styled the same. I also told him to take plenty of pictures with my friends so I had an alibi.

The night of the date came around, the bar was busy but we managed to get a table. I immediately lied to her, saying I had forgotten my card, but if she paid I could transfer her the money later, she agreed. (I had done this for real on the second date, and paid her back as soon as I got home, so she knew I was reliable) I told her to stay sat down and save the table, while I went and ordered drinks and the biggest and fanciest tapas plate on the menu from the bar. My friend, pretending she didn't know me, as agreed, served me the drinks. GG seemed to be in disbelief of my generosity and pretended that she was having one of the best dates of her life. I also pretended to be enjoying it, continuing to buy expensive food and drink until I had nearly spent the target £250 on her card. The dessert section of the bar's menu is titled "Just Desserts", finding this oddly appropriate for my revenge, I asked her if she wanted her "Just Desserts", pointing at the menu. She laughed and said yes, so I went up to the bar once again with her card, and ordered 2 of the super deluxe chocolate fudge cakes, I told my friend to keep one for herself for when her shift ends, and if they could write "F*ck You" on top of GG's. (The bar has candles with letters on for birthdays etc.) I then returned to GG, handed her card back, and told her I was going to the gents bathroom. I left, never repaid the money and went to join my mates and brother at the pub.

GG confronted me in front of the netball team a few days later, but I just acted confused, telling her I was out with my friends that night, and showed her the selfies my brother had taken with my mates when she tried to argue with me. The ENTIRE netball team took my side and stopped speaking to her. GG has since left the netball team and from what I can tell I don't think she has many friends now. I had a fantastic night of revenge with fine food and drink at her expense, my friend got a fudge cake, my brother got some money and all the lads got to go to the pub. All in all, I found it SUPER satisfying, as EVERYONE but GG was happy.

Hope you enjoyed guys! And sorry it was a long one!

(source) story by (/u/RadnessYoDadness)

[rex101111]

2, 7, 11, and 21!!

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

REINCARNATION AU AND MODERN AU. I’ve read some boss ass fics of this nature and it’s always so interesting to see those character brought in to normal-ish circumstances with their attitudes and personalities intact and see what you could do with it. I REALLY wanna do a big ass fic with a Modern AU, and I already got my Birthday Train Au idea for GG that I wanna do as soon as I clear some of my other huge projects away.

...also it’s self care to place characters who have suffered a bunch in their original story and just putting them in a place where they don’t have to fear for their lives *remembers the state the world is in right now*...as often, at least.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

*warning, gore and blood*

This bit from “Pain is only bone deep”:

/"I'll try and make this quick."

She barely has a second to brace herself before his arm moves, and every inch of her explodes in apocalyptic pain. She nearly folds backwards from her chest flying up in pained shock as she feels how her flesh is torn aside by strips, every movement of the saw stripping away at her arm. She bites the strap in her mouth so hard her jaw begins to ache, muffled screaming barely filtering through.  

"Almost."

She almost doesn't hear him, and then she feels a snag. The saw catches on something, and she knows what it is. The sounds of metal cutting into bone overpower her senses, the shock of the saw vibrates through her entire body, the pain slicing into the marrow and ever louder screams burst from her.

"A bit more."

He speeds up, and she is certain that this can only be hell. Her mind nearly snaps, her soul screams and shivers as the saw cuts deeper, deeper, deeper. She cries. Sobs. Hot, fat tears roll down her cheeks as the pain seems to never end, every stroke of the saw a moment that stretches into years.

Every happy thought she had in her short life falls away, every blessing, every joy and every fond dream she held dear is shredded between the teeth of the bone saw. Only her anger and hate remain, pushing against the terror of this insurmountable pain and she hangs onto them in a death grip.

She isn’t going to die. She isn’t going to die. She has a monster to kill./

This was the first time I ever really wrote anything nearly this...bloody. It was supposed to be a Halloween type thing so I wanted to try my hand in sorta-kinda-horror, and I think I did pretty well.

I also wanted to...put a pin on a turning point, so to speak. I wanted that exact moment a character became who we see them as in their first appearance, my interpretation of an origin. I think this is the most emotionally raw and visceral thing I ever wrote.

None too shabby for my first stab (heh) at horror huh?

On a lighter note! (sorta), the ending to my LISA fic “A Choice That Doesn’t Matter”:

/And you get to make it, no one else can take it from you, this meaningless, pointless choice. You, who had been pushed and pulled and dragged through life, by your father, by enemies and friends and family, you get to make a choice, right here, right now.

You are only a child, young and scared and alone and angry in a world that is cruel and seeks to exploit and use you. Up until now, you were helpless. Up until now you were not your own person. Ruled by fear and hate and anger.

Up until now, you didn't have a choice.

But now, you do, a rather simple one, a choice no one else is there to see you make.

It doesn't matter either way, not really. It will change nothing.

But then again, the choices we most remember, the choices that we keep closest to our hearts and shape ourselves around, are the choices that didn't matter to anyone but ourselves.

So, Buddy.

What will you do?/

This is, in my opinion, the best ending to a fic I ever made, it was a cap on my most introspective fic ever, and I honestly could not think of a better ending than this little ditty up there, leaving it up in the air because what choice the character makes doesn’t matter...but what does is that she has a choice at all.

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Both? I mean, I love writing, I have a lot of passion for it and whenever I sit down and get a lot of things written down I feel the most accomplished out of anything else, and I want to publish my own book someday once I have my life in some sort of order...but I’m not gonna give everything up for it you know? I love it, a lot, few things are as important to me as writing, but it ain’t the be all end all thing.

But, yeah, I suppose passion would be the right word for it.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I do my revising mid-writing, like every so often if I get stuck or have to take a long break from writing for whatever reason I read what I have top to bottom and change/fix/add stuff as I feel appropriate. I also spell check and go over grammar at least once or twice once I finish a thing.

I also tend to read over what I did after I post it, looking for things I missed while the feeling of “OH THANK GOD I FINISHED IT GET IT AWAY FROM ME” was blinding me XD

So...usually something like 3-4 times? Maybe more if it’s really long/has taken me a long time to finish.