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leakyrocktarot · 3 months ago

Text

Current Energy: BTS & FS

DISCLAIMER: It's all for fun, take it with a metric fuck ton of salt or don't - Idk I just work here... This reading is going to be long, dead ass did not intend for it to be that way but well- here we are i guess.

Never thought I'd be doing this again lmao, enjoy! Damn I'm rusty also, this post is 17,732 words and 96,943 characters, I'm not proofreading omg.

Jimin:

The Fool rx, 4oS, 4oP, PoC rx, AoP rx, 6oS, 9oP.

It seems as though, he is currently uninterested in any new ventures. It could be that the universe, his guides, god, whomst ever the fuck you want to call the powers at be are trying to encourage him to take a leap of blind faith, to follow the whim of nature however, he does not feel ready at this point in time. He'd much rather focus his energy in recovery, getting back to himself than to take on something new at the moment. Conversely he might be resisting this change, causing friction within himself because there is something he is holding onto, coveting if you will, that he may be aware that he needs to release it but- is again not yet ready for that. Picture a dragon hoarding emeralds going "NO! my preciouses" in a gollum voice and there you have it. This friction he is causing himself is preventing new people to enter his life, be it life long friendships, partnerships, business relations or- romance. He may also be experiencing a lull in communication with those close to him, and with the ace of pentacles reversed, it could be that he is in need of these connections and advice but doesn't want to overstep on the chance of being told "you need to let go dude". Thankfully, all though it is slow and arduous, he is making his way out of this energy, slowly but surely "returning to safer waters". All in all, even though he is in his lil gremlin era, he is still thriving, still reaping the benefits and fruits of his labor. He knows he's still the shit.

2oP rx, PoS rx, KnoP rx, 8oW rx, Chariot, Devil rx, 3oW, 4oS, KoC rx.

Oof, we got an over thinker over here folks. So, towards Chimmy, this guy is overthinking central. Have you ever wondered where your overthunk thoughts went? Well, it's here lmao just kidding. He feels confused, unbalanced, out of alignment, really really missing the communication here- I fear bad news may be involved or- OR- because of the lack of communication, signs, the silence has him overthinking that something wrong happened. Either he did something wrong that affected this connection or that something happened to Chimmy seems to be his chief worry. He might be overthinking about the "delay" he's causing with the friction he has in the first part, probably over worrying himself sick thinking that it's something he's currently doing that led to this radio silence. Unbeknownst to him, it's actually the opposite. The energy is exactly where it needs to be right now and they are making strides in their life, physically but mostly spiritually. What they are both doing is taking themselves forward without really knowing it, literally purging and healing without being aware of it. It seems as though he is, through this "cleaning up his act" in a sense. All he has to do at this very moment is to look towards the sun, what's on the horizon, know that his "ships" are on it's way and the act of him resting, taking care of his vessel and putting more focus on that is what is aligning him to that energy. At the bottom of the deck is the king of cups reversed which is more indicative of his mindset and how he feels about himself than anything. He is really overthinking his self worth and his place in Chimmy's life, whether or not he is the right one or if he's capable of handling something like this. Perhaps he's thinking he has to become a "family man" instantaneously but- that is not what the energy dictates or requires lmao he just needs to take a chill pill and juh lih vihbe.

Camel, Griffin, Eagle, Salamander, Cardinal, Kangaroo

The straw that broke the camels back, *insert uncle rukus theme song here*. Lmaooo anywho, the camel is regarded for its ability to take on long, long, journeys, storing water in their humps, their robust physiology and their ability to raw dog cacti. Whereas griffin is about the superconcious. To ME, this reads as the long process and journey to becoming more aware of oneself and the world around them. It is as though, he is a straw away from that back getting cracked and epiphanies come spewing out of him. He is in a moment where he has to find the balance between the dark and the light, the dark being over thinking, anxious thoughts, and the light being literal enlightenment and mindfulness. The eagle is regarded for it's ability to soar so high and view everything from that great vantage point. They are great important spiritual symbols in almost all sects which, is why they are broadly considered messages of the divine, protectors and a sign to look at the bigger image. The salamander is about alchemy and harnessing your inner flame. It's so fun when the intuitive ping gets confirmed by the cards lmao. He, like I said, is on his way to alchemizing this current energy and turning it into something wildly in his favor. It is possible that through this, he will connect with his spiritual team, mainly ancestors to gain a broader view of things that will then allow him to set his soul ablaze. While it is important to notice and keep on eye on the dead pixel on the screen, it is equally important to zoom out and look at the broader picture lest you get consumed by the darkness. Cardinals are a regarded as divine messengers as well, more notably as a sign that you have a visitor from above, while kangaroos are regarded for their raw power and vitality. I couldn't even make this up if I wanted to. It's more of a confirmation that opening himself up to the other side of things, letting his walls come down gives him a boost in vital energy that will fuel his next cycle. Good for him.

His songs are Bug Like an Angel by Mitski, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore, RUNNING OUT OF TIME by Tyler, The Creator

Chimmy:

7oS rx, 7oC, KoP rx, Death, AoC, Fool rx, KnoW, QoC, 8oC, Judgement, Magician, 6oS, QoP, QoS rx, KnoS.

You got caught with your hand in the cookie jar didntcha? Lmao so, it seems as though, Chimmy got caught in some schemes. To me, it reads as though there was something they were trying to get away with doing something, possibly was trying to get away with not making a decision but- you can't have your cake and eat it too. They are in need to withdraw themselves, focus this unfocused and untethered energy into themselves. They may be looking for the answer or solution to their problem outside of themselves but the problem is, with it being outside of themselves, it seems much bigger and more innumerable than it truly is. If they can withdraw this energy within themselves, focus it onto themselves, they will be fine. It seems as though this problem may be work related, they could either be the boss with a ton of workers that are stressing them out for whatever reason or have a boss that is practically incompetent at their job with the iq of a molded mushroom. It feels more like the latter to be honest as there is a slight stench in the air that smells like power imbalance and manipulation. It's not for long though, with the death card here, it indicates that there is something ended soon within their energy that will make way for something new, its so funny that the card immediately after the death card is an ace card which also marks the start of a journey. With the card specifically being of the cups suit, this may be something that is highly emotional, self serving and possibly romantic. However, funnily enough the two cards are followed by the fool card in the reverse which leads me to believe that they are currently mirroring the same energy that Jimin is in. Either the fear or inability to take that leap of faith into a brand new cycle. It seems like the both of them has a specific step they need to take to round this energy out to a complete close so something new can take it's place. The energy for Chimmy however is interesting and rather funny because even though there is something stopping them from taking that full leap of faith, they still want to "do it for the plot". It seems like that "yolo" energy is clashing with the energy that their spiritual team wants or needs them to be in. It seems like- rather than an impulsive daredevil kind of energy, a more calculated and intentional energy is required. Other than that, they have all of what they need to step forward. They are in tune with their emotions, ready to take that next step and leave behind their house of cards if that is what's needed but, it seems like they need to judge themselves, their progress, their readiness, their growth, their healing before the door can be opened. Do they deem themselves prepared for whats next or do they need a wrap around? Spiritually, their spirit team do deem them as ready and capable. They have mastered the energy of the suits and are in a massively creative energy, they have what it takes and are willing to give what is needed to make that move to calmer things, they are stable and in touch with their feminine energy (everyone has divine feminine and masculine energy, it does not relate to gender, it just means one is receiving and one is go getting) the only blockage that can be seen here is their mindset. Unable to see themselves as they are and might be in a totally soured mood, enough to cloud their view of things. Regardless, they are going to tear the walls off with how dummy fast they're gonna peel off towards the things they want when that energy clears. Side note, it seems as though they are aware of Jimin and his current state too which is interesting hehe.

PoC rx, World, Chariot, AoS, 8oP, Star, 5oP rc, 10oP.

Okurrr, pop awf. It seems as though- they're hiding whatever this energy is from others hehe. The page of cups here is giving more of a bashful "hehe, don't tell anyone" SO I won't hehe. Other than that, it seems as though they are indeed working on closing out these cycles, so that they can make proper and swift moves towards something that they were made aware of- it's possible that they got a message from the divine or an intuitive ping to work in this specific area of life. They are working really hard to achieve their hopes and dreams and doing all that they can to retain hope while also getting that bread up. It seems as though their end goal is material and generational wealth that they can share, it also feels as though there is a focus on having human things like- a house, family, etc.

World, Lion, Okapi, Giraffe, Swallow, Skunk.

Wow, double confirmation with two different world cards. However, this card is, in fact, different from the tarot meaning SO- The world is about shadow work and unearthing ones true potential, the lion is regarded as the divine masculine, pride, and the father. What they might be unearthing is their divine masculine energy, the energy that is active, the one that goes out and achieves what the feminine directs. They may be feeling as though they are in a pressure chamber in the core of earth having to excavate this energy from themselves and for themselves but, because it is lion, pride, and the father, it will be a relatively easy feat. All they must do is literally take pride in who they are. The shadow aspect of the card may indicate that their disconnect to this energy comes from an uncomfortable relationship with a father figure, perhaps this energy reminds them of their fraternal parental figure and it's something they avoid or feel uncomfortable in. Once they realize that their fathers fire can be used to keep them warm, they'll be on easy street. The interesting part is Okapi and Giraffe! Okapi is heralded as a fated event, meeting, or the higher meaning behind things while the Giraffe has an interesting view with it's head in the clouds and it's feel firmly planted on the ground. It's giving delulu is the solulu. They have what they want to happen in mind and they're making it happen by staying grounded while in their manic pixie dream person era. The swallow gives us hope as to sailors they are the first sign that they are at the end of their journey, while the skunk reminds us that we have alternate solutions to the problems we may face. To draw this reading to a close, it seems as though Chimmy has finally reached the end of their journey, they are filled with hope and optimism for what is next as they can see what is on the horizon, knowing that they are never truly stuck, that they have many, many solutions available to them at all times. It seems as though they've come to realize or are going to realize their tried and true methods aren't the right tool for the job. Good on them!

Their songs are Breathin by Ariana Grande, bellyache by Billie Eilish, Animal by Noah Kahan.

Songs they want to send to each other

Jimin: Neath the grove is a heart by Yaeklore, I THINK by Tyler, The Creator, Lost in Time and Space by Lord Huron, Glue Myself Shut by Noah Kahan, Working for the Knife by Mitski, Revival by Zach Bryan.

Chimmy: bellyache by Billie Eilish, Maine by Noah Kahan, When She Smiles by Gigi Perez, In the Night by The Weeknd, The Only Heartbreaker by Mitski, ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? by Tyler, The Creator

9oC, KoP rx, 4oP, KoS, 7oS rx, 3oW, 7oW, 6oP, 2oW.

He wants it to be known that he is doing well, so well in fact that he's let himself go. He's let himself be less uptight and anal in a way. He's not too focused on being overly stable, he deems himself to be fiscally stable and responsible, not the type to gamble or squander. He's incredibly perceptive as he is now, he stands on both authority and business, you cannot lie, hide, or get away with or pull one over on him for shit. It's like he went from caring too much of what people thought of him, to being utterly free and not caring at all while being this composed person. He has his eyes set on something, he seems to be rather excited and looking towards the future here, it reads as though he is setting the stage to house someting that he is protective over. It definitely feels as though he has had an upgrade recently mentally wise. It also feels as though he has something he wants to share, something that he wants to give freely. I do see here that he may have an eye on the past here, perhaps reminiscing on some past experiences that he’s had before. I have a feeling that he might have some sort of surprise that he is aware will change the directory of his life in terms of how people view him.

Wheel of fortune, 6oP rx, KoP rx, 10oW, QoW rx, Devil, KnoS, 6oC rx, 10oS, 3oS

When the wheel came out I could’ve sworn that it was the world because I heard “we’re done” so- to me that reads as though our boi might be in a defeatist attitude even though things are still up for debate, the wheel has yet to turn and it is still within their favor. It seems as though he holds some guilt over not being giving or generous enough, pentacles are earth energy and are usually related to money, and finances but it is also heavily related to earthly matters especially time. What I’m reading feels more like a channeled message and story line so I’ll try my best to convey it. He feels guilty for hoarding his resources, his time, his effort, he feels- no, he knows he could’ve done better, could’ve been a more grounded and stable person for Tata but, because of the heaps of weight on his shoulders, his responsibilities at the time as well as his own emotional baggage he couldn’t really give Tata what they needed from him. He feels remorse because he felt like in a way he forced their hand for him to rely on them, it feels as though he felt like he sapped their energy and personality being so caught up in his own world, unable to see out of his own ass. It seems as though, with the devil he might’ve feel into addictive and unhealthy behaviours to cope. He recognized that it was slowly becoming, in his eyes, something close to being toxic and made the “logical” choice to separate, however I feel as though there is something that he has yet to see within this energy. I hope there is more information on Tata’s side. The absence of Tata however, forced him to remove the rose coloured glasses, to face reality instead of living in a dream like state. It for sure hurt, quite a bit, and he did try to distract himself from it as there is this avoidant energy here but, unfortunately you can’t run from yourself. He’s currently going through the healing process, I suspect that this is what spurred on the mental upgrade.

Friend, Elephant, Rabbit, Hawk, Snail, Wolf.

A friend can show us the truth, the mirrors and offer sound advice, the elephant shows us the obstacles we face, the strength they require, enhance our wisdome and endurance all while being majestic. It seems to me that currently he has the help of a valuable friend, someone that he can gain insight from, one that tells him the truth as is and offers advice to the best of their abilities, as well as someone whos life currently mirrors his own. People are often a mirror for ourselves and this friend is no different, they might be experiencing something similar to what V is experiencing which allows himself to view his situation from a different pov. Even so, the obstacle that he is facing is surely as large as an elephant and frustrating to navigate around however, as with the wheel of fortune, elephants symbolize good luck. Rabbits are masters of fast paced changes, decision making, and knowing when to act, while the hawk guides us with intelligence, independence, adaptability and clarity. There is an energy around him where he needs to make swift decisions, taking fast action towards something, with the help of his hawk buddy this is made possible by the knowledge that is shared. Conversely, he might be making decisions way to quickly to discern whether or not he has viewed whichever situation as accurately and clearly as possible. Snails are all about slow and steady progress, especially on the right path, and wolves awaken our intuition, remind us of our silent observation of the shadows. Currently he is on the right path, there is no doubt about that, it’s just slow and full of effort however, there is still something here that isn’t as it seems with the wolf being present, he is being asked to really reconsider the way he walks his path, it doesn’t have to be this hard. This sneaky lil bastard lodged two cards under my desk so,bonus cards: Unicorn and Kangaroo. There is something special coming his way, something that he is unable to see considering the cards before and where these cards fell. This is something that will definitely strengthen him, add more steam to his boat.

His songs are When She Smiles by Gigi Perez, Bug Like an Angel by Mitski, Wait by the River by Lord Huron “Baby, I don’t mean the things I said” and TV by Billie Eilish “All my friends are missing again, that’s what happens when you fall in love. You don’t have the time, you leave them behind, You tell yourself it’s fine you’re just in love”

Tata:

PoP, 3oW rx, AoW rx, 6oS rx, KoS, Star rx, QoP, 4oW rx, 9oC, 4oS rx, Tower rx, 10oP.

Another rather heavy energy here. It seems as though they have decided to embark on a journey of self discovery, perhaps they have enrolled in classes and are taking this time to rediscover their passions, their hopes and dreams and the career life they want. It feels as though they have recently returned from a trip and are no longer in an energy of wanting yet there is hesitation and a blockage here preventing them from fully moving forward with any plans. It seems as though they might have some trouble in coming as there is something they have yet to face. They've reach the point of having no where else to run and must face the leviathan in the sea. The problem is- because they are in a stubborn and refusing energy, not wanting to face their problems, they've become someone that is a bit too logical and emotionally detached from themselves possibly others as the other cards indicate a not so warm welcome home. It feels here that they are really, really questioning their life, their hope, their faith, and their place in it all. It seems as though they have a bad knack for focussing on the negative, amplifying situations in their mind to be worse that it is. Sort of like- already being depressed but engaging in thoughts and behaviours that you know make you depressed because you've found solace and comfort in being depressed. Other than that though, they do have this energy that they are exploring this nurturing side to them. Perhaps they have a pet or recently got a new pet and are spending a lot of time with them, redecorating their home to feel better and lighten the rooms, or enjoying their own presence and being home. With the four of wands in the reversed position being a direct just from the three of wands in the reversed position, I have the feeling that they expected a warm welcoming upon their arrival home- but they faced hostility instead. It seems as though there were some ties cut, be it familial or platonic. They aren't going to let this bring them further down as to me it reads as though who ever this was made comments about their success in a negative light but, they know better than to let that get to them because they are the most successful and achieved person in their family with many notable accolades possibly having a level of fame to their name. It seems as though here, with the four of swords and tower both in the reversed position, they are keeping themselves busy and moving in efforts to avoid the inner work needed which is going to cause the event of the tower falling more violent and devastating than needed almost exactly mirroring V in his own tower moment of realizations. Nevertheless, this tower moment is meant to till the land and make way for new fertile soil so that the new seeds that they plant do not rot in the ground. They are experiencing the setting of the stage to experience an ancestral pay out, they are going to receive something truly generational as it does seem some massive generational curses are being broken through this time.

Justice, 9oW rx, PoC, 4oW, 7oW, PoP rx, 9oS, 6oP, Everything is fine rx, Devil rx, 3ow.

As I was pulling the cards, someone drove past my window very obviously yelling into their phone so- I think that is an accurate description of what this energy is like, it's like a quiet anger, a disagreement here. Starting off with justice, it seems as though Tata is doing their best to judge this situation as fair as possible. If it were the queen of swords per say, it would indicate a level of jadedness however, the justice card is the more judicially fair card in the deck. If they do harbor an air of jadedness or resentment, they are able to put it aside and call out their own faults fairly. I get the feeling that, because of whatever went down between the two of them, Tata might want to surrender this connection, to let it go in hopes that someone else will come along with better prospects, more to offer and connect over however- it does feel like they may be at war with themselves over this as they're not yet willing to call it quits. It seems as though they worry that if they were to let this go, it would affect their journey and earthly life in ways they can't comprehend. The thought keeps them up at night but, that's because it's a cycle of overthinking, a way to avoid facing the issues at hand. They seem to have this very avoidant type of energy, one that does not want to face their own shadows because it's too scary. They try really hard to be the sweetest of buns but, that can only be possible if and when they face their own internal issues. I get the feeling that the recurrent thought that they have is "if only he'd be more thoughtful everything would be fine" which- to me is a loaded statement. Mainly because the cards here indicate miscommunications, misunderstandings, and a heavy lack of communication. Everything would, in fact, not be fine, because they are both gripped by their own vices, their own minds, their own addictions and binds to things that they believe make them feel good but actually hurt them more. What Tata doesn't see however, is that there is something, someone, off in the distance rebuilding the land.

Crow, Camel, Doe, Friend, Eagle, Tapir, Hen.

Crows are often a symbol of death as well as psychic abilities. They are the loyal companions to a plethora of gods and goddesses, namely Hekate and Odin. Camels are regarded for their survival through rough and impossible to pass terrains thanks to the adaptation of their physical being. It seems as though our dear friend Tata is currently being guided by Hekate and Odin through the process of death and rebirth, and the treacherous landscape of it all. When we speak of death in a metaphysical sense, we mean it metaphorically, not a corporeal death. Death in spirituality is transformation, it is letting the parts of ourselves, the shadow, the ego, fall away to make room for enlightenment. It is important to note that this process is a transformation, and alchemical step in our journey, not a complete and total death as the ego and shadow are still very much important to our physical lives. Tata is on a journey to learn what that means for them, to tackle their people pleasing tendencies and other vices. Consider it the hero's journey, like Hercules and his trials. The doe guides us to being receptive, through birth and new beginnings while a friend gives us needed and helpful advice, serving as a mirror for us to view ourselves through. As mentioned before, Tata is definitely on a healing journey, to become their most highest vibrational self, learning to be more receptive to the energy they're given, learning to allow those around them to give to them and to help fill their cup. Just as V, Tata may have a friend around them that is going through similar struggles that they are learning from. The eagle is a trusted messenger, bringing us both protection and guidance towards the bigger picture, the picture being charity and selfishness, acting in service to others as noted by the tapir, coupled with the warning of being overly submissive told to us by the hen. Tata has a bad habit of possibly submitting too much to others, forgetting themselves in the process. It seems as though this is a childhood wound. perhaps incurred by having to micromanage the world around them for the sake of peace. They are learning that, while being of service and selfishness is a good and necessary trait, that in excess can be detrimental to us in the end. Good luck to them.

Their songs are CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish, BIRDS OF A FEATHER by Billie Eilish, and Normalcy by Gigi Perez.

Songs they want to send to each other

V: Slow Down by Laufey, Lookalike by Conan Gray, Us Without Me by grentperez, rises the moon by Liana Flores, I Know You by Faye Webster (hello?), Drive by SZA.

Tata: WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish, CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish, Real Man by Beabadoobee, Jonny by Faye Webster, Kaleidoscope by rhyu, Second Time by Bruno Major.

Jungkook:

Tower, 7oP rx, 3oP rx, Death, 10oC rx, 9oS, Empress, 7oC rx, 2oS rx, 5oC rx, 4oC, 9oW rx, 6oC

Off rip, this energy is vastly different than the other members, probably why he was more hesitant to be first when he usually wants to be first read. Secondly, because of the song, I have a huge inkling that Cooky smells like a light floral yet sweet peach scent, nothing too overwhelming but still noticeable because it compliments their aura. This man is sick, I'm talking sliding down the wall, crying beaucoup boohoo tears, pissin shittin and fartin and throwing up and all that lmao. There seems to be a lot of endings, massive things crashing down upon him, seemingly out of no where. It could be because he, or someone close to him, likely Cooky decided that something within their reality is not worth the amount of effort it takes for something. It seems like some sort of collaborative efforts have been nixed, again forcing this ending and new beginning. It doesn't feel good for him because it involves heavy, heavy grief akin to if someone close to him had died. It's as though this dream, this happy, healthy, bountiful and harmonious life he had envisioned for himself came crashing down around him. It feels as though this is heavily energetically, his physical life seems to be as is, as to be expected but internally and spiritually, boi is going through it through it. It's like he is being kept up at night, possibly experiencing nightmares or night terrors, heavy overthinking, heavy spiraling, heavy worrying. The empress here seems to be an outward energy, possibly Cooky. I get the feeling that he feels abandoned? Let go of? It feels as though the act of facing reality and having a decision be made for him on behalf of him. He feels almost insulted that he's expected to "get over it" and accept something new. This is not something that he wants but he's currently lost his will to fight for it, preferring to reminisce on what was in hopes that it'll be again.

Extended: 10oP rx, 9oS, Magician, 5oS rx, PoS rx, 2oP, KnoS rx, QoS rx, 7oS rx, Temperance rx, QoW, 6oW, KnoC rx, Hermit, Judgment, KnoW, PoC, Sun rx, Hanged man rx.

I wanted to look into this a bit more because it felt to open ended to leave it that way. He is really stressed out about his idea of an earthly life not being the way he wanted it to. He has the hope, the power to manifest and create his own reality, but, he- gosh he has no more fight in him for it. He seems to want to accept this bad news as he feels as though there was a rightful loss of opportunity and would rather go with the flow, even though he will have a heavily jaded attitude going forward that he will struggle to hide. He feels as though he is lacking perspective on this situation but, he doesn't possess the ability to think it through and see it for what it is at this current moment. He is heavily imbalanced spiritually and may potentially be indulging in self pity and other vices. He does wish for whoever this queen of wands energy is, possibly Cooky, to have success, even if it is not with him because he knows he needs time to go within himself as well as them to traverse their inner world and face their shadow selves. He does have slight hope that eventually he will be deemed as worthy, given the green light for him to start making his way back into their life. Coming forth with this childlike glee, and swift passionate energy to knock them off their feet. It feels as though he knows this outcome hinges solely on his ability to see from a new perspective, and have a healthy level of detachment.

5oC rx, AoP rx, Death, PoC, 9oC rx, 10oC rx, Emperor, Wheel of Fortune rx, Temperence rx, 7oC rx, 3oW, Hanged man rx, 8oC rx, 8oP, 6oS, 4oS, Strength, 10oP rx, 9oS, 7oW, 3oC rx, Magician, AoC, Empress, AoS.

Well fuck me... Alright so, damn. So he is trying to accept the loss, trying to accept and release the grief but, a huge part that is causing him more grief is the fear that something like this won't ever reach his physical life. He has seen this grow, falter and then die right before his eyes and now he has to let it go and let something or someone new come in and he is- not yet ready to accept it. It was something he put a lot of effort towards, something he dreamt of so much and to see it fizzle out in this way is a grief that is incomparable. I heard "What's the use of having this castle if I have no one to share it with?". It feels like- he feels as though this is just his luck, his destiny. This is all that he is worth and gets, this is how the story goes regardless of what he does in any life. He is really indulging in this grief, like- he doesn't know what to do, where to go, who to turn to. If you've seen Billie Eilish's HIT ME HARD AND SOFT album cover, that is the exact energy I'm getting. He knows he has to come to terms with the fact that he cannot further indulge in this spiritual connection, he has to return to reality, he has to look towards what is in his actually life but- he can't, he just can't, he cannot bring himself to do so. You could hang him upside down as long as you want but, this is not something that he can truly let go of. It's something he feels is so integral to him, something that he will keep chasing until the end of time. He wants to put in the time and effort into this but- he also knows that he needs to move on, that there is no future in this on his terms. He needs to rest, he needs a deep, deep mental and physical rest and break, just enough to get his strength back, enough to get the energy to start rebuilding his idea of his future life again. There is a great aversion to that idea though, it's like my heart is gripped with the grief he feels typing this out. It's like he can't let go, not yet. I saw a plastic bag rolling in the wind and honestly, it was how his energy feels, being tossed around like a ragdoll by the powers that be without much of a say or fight, like a jellyfish in the harsh currents of the ocean. The image I get with the seven of wands and the three of cups reversed is, if it were in his power he would have turned the card up himself, so that he can experience the community, the togetherness, the celebration of union but, instead its all broken engagements he faces. Despite the heavy grief that he faces, he still uses what little energy he has left to hope for and manifest for Cooky to have the love that they deserve, even if he selfishly hopes that it is home. He hopes that they do come across a new love, one that can fill their cup until it over flows, and value them as much as he does, but he also homes that they somehow become aware of this, that they- as he says "can see me spill my guts and know that this is true, I know you feel it intuitively". Throughout this reading there was a fly that was harassing me, like it had no fear of being squished, yet it never got close or stayed long enough for me to squish it. I think that is significant as it feels like part of the reason why this connection has broken is because of interference from those that do not belong within it, trying to get in and peer through.

Salamander, Wolf, Kangaroo, Hen, Okapi, Eagle, Giraffe, Alligator, Tapir, Cardnial.

Salamander teaches us to alchemize our woes, our pains, and experiences while the wolf guides us to our intuition, to silently observe. It may be that all is not what it seems. I'm getting High Priestess and Sphinx energy here, where the answer lies deeply hidden within the riddles. His task is to feel what he feels, learn to alchemize it to power through intention, and reconnect with his intuition. Perhaps this needs a second look. The Kangaroo gives us raw energy, vitality and optimism while the hen teaches us the warnings of submission. I have a feeling that the powers at be want him to find his optimism, and fight with all he has. Funnily enough I'm getting the visual of Kangaroo jack. The universe doesn't want him to give up too easily or else he'll miss out on the okapi energy. I want to note how insane this is because in the deck, Okapi and Eagle are right next to each other so for them to come out together in the same position in a reading is highly auspicious. The Okapi gives us a message of fated meetings, events, or a situation directly tied to the higher meaning of things while eagle is the one who carries this message as the designated spiritual messenger, the protector of the bigger meaning. The most important spiritual saying to remember is, if it is meant for you then it will not pass you and here we are seeing that directly. This is bound to be, it is a fated meeting and it is highly protected, the only ones who can alter that course is Jungkook and Cooky if they give in to the flies around them that is. The giraffe guides jk to have a stable and grounded "delulu is the solulu" energy. The height of the giraffe gives us the ability to see the alligator, a hidden enemy, the need for survival. He must know that someone or something is not what it seems, I have a feeling that this is the other energy trying to butt in. His intuition knows what is right, so does Cooky's, they just have to trust and follow that guidance. To close off this part of the reading, with Tapir and Cardinal, it seems as though his spiritual team wants him to step out there, they want him to act in service of others, sharing the messages and knowledge he has as it helps him to connect more to his intuition and to the spiritual visitors. This is a good note to end the reading on

His songs are First love/Late spring by Mitski, Go Solo by Tom Rosenthal, Meet Me in the City by Lord Huron, When the Night is Over by Lord Huron, The Wisps Sings by Winter Aid, Life in the City by The Lumineers, Male Fantasy by Billie Eilish heavily, The Beach by The Neighbourhood, Sally by Gigi Perez, Your Best American Girl by Mitski insanely heavily, Chest Pain (I Love) by Malcolm Todd.

Cooky:

2oP, 3oP rx, 8oC rx, AoP rx, KnoS rx, 7oS rx, 4oP, KnoP, 6oS, KnoC rx, KnoW, 4oS, 3oS rx, 6oP, 7oP rx, AoW, Everything is fine rx, QoP rx, 6oC, QoC, 5oC Rx, Strength, Fool rx, 10oW rx, KoP, 9oC rx, Hermit, PoC, 8oW rx, QoW, KoC, 9oS, Death, 2oS rx, 10oS rx, 10oP rx, 10oC rx, PoP rx, Chariot, 2oC rx, AoC, 9oW rx, Empress, 4oW, Tower.

Damn near half the muhfuggin deck came out omfg if you wanted a private feature you could've asked??? Okay... Let's get this bread my god. So holy fuck ok I'm overwhelmed lmao. So they are currently doing their absolute best to manage, balance, and juggle everything that is currently going on in there life. They were close to dropping some balls (hehe) but they've got everything handled as of right now, they could've have chosen to purposefully let go of one of the balls (hehe) as it was something that did not align with them and caused more stress and dissconnection. However, it seems as though they are still terrified of and refusing to let go of the things that do not serve them entirely. It's giving an dependent attachment to someone, something, or an energy. It feels as though, them not being able to overcome their fears of abandonment, commitment, moving on, as well as not faking their happiness is preventing a major opportunity from coming in for them. It's like they are their own worse enemy here. I get the feeling that there is something in their energy that wants to come in but, they can't really accept or grasp it which is causing this impatient energy within them. They're missing out on a lot of opportunities here because they are too scared, cowardly. It's as though they don't trust this thing that- is genuinely very trusting, open and honest because they are white knuckling things that are meant to keep them grounded. It's giving preferring to hold onto the cinder blocks the mafia gave them to sleep with the fishes than to let go and swim away because they were friends before. It's like they'd rather hold onto what they know rather than experiencing something new because they don't want to experience being hurt again but in a way are hurting themselves and limiting themselves even more. They are making slow, slow progress regardless, making their way into calmer waters, healing very, very slowly however, they are still closing their heart off to this emotional journey. They want to rush forward, overcome the humps, but without going through the journey. It's like wanting to pick and choose what they experience but life isn't about choices or control, it's about flow.

They for sure need to rest themselves, it seems here that they have been over thinking about a lot of things, especially what it means to heal. To them it kind of feels like a betrayal to those who have given to them before, those who have "selflessly" poured into them, as though they are turning their backs on those people which makes them feel as though healing and and of itself is not worth it funnily enough. It's like- this raw energy, this passion, this creative energy that has been with them and in them, innate since the day they were born is trying to make itself clear to them, as if wanting them to take up the mantle but- there is an avoidance, a hesitation because of prior loyalty. It reads as thought they are trying to convince themselves that they are fine, that they don't need this thing and are okay without it but- they are not, it leaves them so unbalanced and disconnected to their grounded earth energy. They really need to know that it is okay to let go, it is okay to move on, it is okay to let the house you spent months building crumble down only leaving you with two support beams left because there is something waiting for them. If they claim to not care about jk or what's going on with him, they are either lying or very very good at hiding it. I see here that they thought they had left this all behind but they catch themselves thinking back to it, back to what it was and how they felt, back to who they say themselves as during then. It's as though, they saw themselves truly for who they are without the shadows but- they believe that that is something that just can't happen, that it is something that they must let go of.

That they are strong enough to or that they will be stronger for it but- that is foolish. Instead it's just them avoiding taking that leap of faith, them avoiding the new energy, avoiding unleashing these heavy ass burdens from themselves. I get the image of them carrying the bundle of wands and the bundle of wands being so heavy it digs into their shoulders, tearing the skin and impaling them with splinters over and over again. They won't let go even if their shoulders are wore down to the bone. They feel as though this is the way to be stable, productive, a functioning member of society but, this is not the way. It is not what fulfills them, it's what traps them like Sisyphus. They need to go within themselves, I see that sometimes they do, and sometimes they do see a glimmer, a glimpse of Jk but they get spooked and run away. They need their time to take it slow, to come back to who they are and to let him in again but- again the thought of this scares them beyond belief, enough to cause them to over think about having to let go of things, about having to let what does not serve them truly die, having to over come the betrayal and realize that this is not the life that they deserved or hoped for since a young age. They fear that they will have to stop the current journey they are on but, wrong. This journey takes them to where they are meant to be, however the energy becomes free and untangled, capable of speeding up once they integrate this part of their journey and life with themselves and who they truly are. It opens a new doorway, it brings forth a bright new loving beginning, only if they can surrender to being the empress, surrender to being the one in power rather than the one being taking advantage of. Their idea of a happy home and happy life needs to be dismantled all the way to the ground and rebuilt and it seems as though the longer they wait, the more painful it is.

QoS rx, Judgement, 3oC rx, 8oP, Tower, 6oS, Everything is fine rx, 7oC Rx, KoS, KoC, PoS rx, Wheel of Fortune rx, Emperor, 9oP, 7oW, Temperance rx, 9oS, PoC, KoP, Hermit, Fool rx, PoW rx, Hierophant, Star.

Girl, bffr. So, they are jaded, they are unable to view this situation as clearly as possible because they cannot look past the hurt that they've faced in relation to Jk but not by Jk. It seems as they need a self evaluation, rather than judging the situation, they should judge themselves honestly and truthfully, they'd see that something is not what it seems. It seems here that they don't want to work with others, they'd rather solo this mission but- that leads to the tower. Isolation never helps, it hurts more, we as humans are social creatures, we are animals that will go mad without connection. It's funny to see the tower and the six of swords together as in tarot it is widely believed that the six of swords follows the tower and depicts us getting out of dodge after fleeing the crumbling tower. I have a feeling that if they don't make the choice to flee the tower will crumble around them. I wonder if they realize that all is not fine, that there is something in their reality that is begging for their attention, their choice, from a mature and non judgmental or jaded position. From a place of intuition and love, as well as emotional maturity. They must face the lack of communication, they will have to turn the wheel themselves to favor their journey if they want to. It seems as though the emperor here is an outside energy, possibly Jk sitting and waiting, letting the garden grow and prosper in preparation for the empress's arrival however, it seems here that the empress is hellbent on being imbalanced. They seem to be hellbent on indulging in their own shadows because they cannot for the life of them envision a reality where someone comes into their life with pure intentions and stable offerings as well as the ability to reflect and change their wrong doings. They'd rather cling to the edge of a crumbling cliff, to eventually fall off said cliff into abyss than to make a leap of faith to the other side. They must address within themselves why they are preventing a passionate journey full of creation and joy for themselves. The key lays with the Hierophant, the Hierophant inside of them. This would be a wish come true if only they'd accept it. It feels as though they want someone to get mad at them, yell at them, force them to do this but- no one is going to do that, it is their choice whether they choose this or not. The universe, their gods are loving and will never be mad at them for not doing something and force them to repent. It is in their hands.

World, Moose, Lizard, Crab, Shadow Person, Mallard, Cardinal, Swallow.

In this deck, the world encourages us traverse the shadow realm, to do our shadow work, and unearth our power while the moose warns us of incoming obstacles and giving something too much power. When you see a moose in real life, their massive size is something that you cannot forget, they are formidable and to Cooky, the act of doing shadow work is akin to staring a moose in the eye. They are giving their fears, their worries, their oppressors too much power over them. The lizard forces us to realize the cycles we are repeating and the lessons we are learning while the crab tells us the lesson. The lesson being self protection, boundaries, teaching others how to treat us. Cooky needs to learn this lesson or else they are doomed to repeat it until they get it, in bigger and bigger ways. It seems to be a pattern in their life currently. They need to stand up and teach themselves what their boundaries truly are, and to teach others how to properly treat them. The shadow person is our unrecognized self that the mallard shows us in our dreams. I wouldn't be surprised if Cooky still gets dreams about their current challenges. These things will seep into our dreams if we ignore our subconscious. The cardinal brings the final message along with the swallow, that they are being watched over lovingly, guided through the last steps on their journey, to have hope and be optimistic, to trust that everything will be alright, that if they take that leap of faith, the hands of their ancestors and spirit guides will rise to catch their feet and carry them to the other side.

Their songs are, Northern Attitude by Noah Kahan and Hozier, See You Again by Tyler, The Creater ft Kali Uchis "Can I get a kiss, and can you make it last for ever? I said I'm about to go to war and I don't know if Imma see you again", Love Like Ghosts by Lord Huron "You don't want me baby please dont lie, oh but if you're leaving then I gotta know why", would've been you by sombr, I know it won't work by Gracie Abrams, ocean eyes by Billie Eilish, Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift, The Man by Gigi Perez, Me and My Husband by Mitski, Noid Tyler, The Creator.

Songs they want to send to each other

Jungkook: Washing Machine Heart by Mitski, Yonkers by Tyler, The Creator, Fool For Love by Lord Huron, I Hate U by SZA, We Fell in Love in October by girl in red, Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars.

Cooky: The Man by Gigi Perez, I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE by Tyler, The Creator, Thnks fr th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy, July by Noah Cyrus, Cursed Lord Huron, MILK OF THE SIREN by Melanie Martinez.

Suga:

3oP rx, 10oP, 10oW rx, 2oW rx, 6oS, KnoS, 9oS, PoW rx, 5oP rx, KnoC rx, KoW, KoS, AoC, PoP rx, 4oC, 7oP, 5oW rx, Strength, Death.

So, a fly flew past me and flies are associated with having eyes on you so he might have a bunch of flies around him, people too much in his energy and his grill. Hmm, it feels like he himself has no idea whats going on in his life it's like he's just happy to be here lmao. On a good note, it seems like he is both happy but sad about this lull in work. It seems as though he has somewhat elevated to "grandpa" status a bit early, finding little things to do, little projects around the house but nothing really towards his career. He feels rather accomplished with what he has but it does feel like he kind of misses the work, the action, the schedule. He doesn't however miss the burdens that come with it. He seems to be enjoying the peace and quiet. However, because he's given this ample time to fuck around, he's wondering when the find out is gonna happen. It seems as though, in the midsts of this "not a thought behind those eyes" energy, there are, in fact, thoughts. Many of them. He might be confused, unsure of where he is going, possibly having a bit too much focus or attention on either what went on in his life in the past, or what will be coming to his life in the future, while he is trying to draw his attention to the present to be present. Regardless of that, he is moving forward, but with all this swords energy here, he's so entirely in his head- it's like "i'm just here for the ride" is more like "I have to be here for the ride because I'm too in my head to take myself there" for him. Have you ever seen a video of him staring off into space like he forgot he exist? Yeah, that is him but that lil ol noggin of his is filled with worries, anxieties, and what ifs. Because of this, he might be experiencing creative blocks, perhaps he might be mentally trying to rush himself to come out of this energy, not wanting to feel somewhat destitute anymore but- in order to do that he kind of- has to reach out to someone and explain to them whats going on. I think, partially, one of the things that is bothering him is the direction he's taking regarding Shooky. I'm interested in seeing what Shooky has going on to get a better feel for this energy. It feels like he's aware of the possibilities but doesn't know who it'll be. It feels like he wants to have authority over this, as- it is his life. He feels as though he knows what would be best, that he is fair and logical in his judgements but- he has yet to realize it's not just about him. Especially with the four of cups depicting a person being given the ace of cups but refusing to take it because it's not what they wanted. It's this slightly stubborn energy here. It's like he feels as though he spent a lot of energy, a lot of work pouring into one avenue and now he's having to decide whether it's worth it to continue to gamble on this horse or to call it quits. In the end, he doesn't want conflict, he just hopes he can be strong enough to draw whatever this is to a close.

World rx, 10oC, AoS rx, 5oS, Magician rx, 10oP rx, Moon rx, 9oS rx, 7oC rx, KnoW rx, PoP, 9oW rx, 3oW rx, Star rx, 7oP rx, Death rx, 4oS rx, Hanged man.

Me: Trouble in paradise? Him: NO :< lmao. So, he wants to make it abundantly clear that, despite whatever he may be facing, it is all a part of the journey to a stable and healthy emotional connection with his counterpart. Even though he isn't exactly clear on whatever is going on, he is surrendering to the energy and the process. Even though in this instance he has no exact power over the circumstances at hand, even if the energy is unstable and he is uncertain of whether or not this will result in the future he hopes for, he is aware that it is mostly his fears and insecurities speaking here. He is aware that, for the most part, it is mainly anxiety creating illusion. He is aware that, with time this too shall past, and he'll be able to see clearer, that reality will hit him and he will know what to do and be able to make that choice. He has accepted though, that as of right now his feelings are mostly anxiety, possibly jealousy. I'm seeing the "is this a butterfly?" meme. As of right now though, he is focusing on the good things in his reality such as the time he has to himself, letting himself surrender to being jostled about in the energy. He seems to be stably unstable lmao, he's just enjoying his time being home, not yet ready to return to city girl life as of yet. He is still worried, still afraid that this is something he is going to have to release, let go of, that he has done everything he could in regards to the energy but it is proving unfruitful. He's not quite ready to let go yet, so he is hoping he doesn't have to, that he can rise to the occasion soon. It seems as though, he still has a lot to consider, the position of the hanged man is a rough one, being strung upside down until a new perspective is found is harsh. Good luck to him.

Unicorn, Tiger, Snake, Hawk, Swallow, Skunk, Kangaroo.

Unicorns are about synchronicities, magic, special things while tigers exude opulence and carnal desires. It seems as though something super special, super important, something that has him spellbound is on its way to him. Something that feeds his hunger and carnal desires, something that encourages him to revel in the luxuries he's created himself. The snake is associated with the divine feminine and kundalini, spiritual awakenings and healing while the hawk gives us intelligence, independence, adaptability and clarity. It feels as though, because he is going through some sort of awakening, he might not be seeing things as clearly as he wants to and our boi is fully aware of that. He's allowing himself to shed his skin and old beliefs so that his eyes are no longer covered in scaly dead skin. As said before, swallow is a sign that the journey is coming to an end, skunk is to remind us that there are alternative solutions, and kangaroo is regarded for it's vitality. It to me, reads as though he might be on the shore of this new phase, new cycle in his life, one that is going to need an alternative solution to land, but once it lands, he'll feel as though he's gotten his life back.

His song is When the Night is Over by Lord Huron

Shooky:

PoS, KoP, 7oS, Judgment rx, 5oC, 2oC, 8oS rx, KnoP, 7oP rx, 9oW, 10oS rx, Empress, 6oP rx, 6oS rx, 2oP, 10oC, Emperor, 3oC, 10oP rx, Everything is fine.

Hmmm, for them, they might be experiencing a lot of technical issues, possibly affecting their communication. Either their email got hacked or they were locked out, forgot the password, it's been storming in their area and it's affecting the power, their mail being intercepted or going undelivered. Other than that, they could also be experiencing halts in other things, perhaps they are trying to cook a meal but they have to handle something family related first, that kind of delay. Regardless of that, they seem to be in a very grounded and stable energy, one that is rather secure, and perhaps a bit sneaky and strategic. Considering that judgement in the reversed is here, they may be sneaking out at night if you catch my drift. Not that they are living like a teenager and sneaking out to meet their friends literally, just the energy of possibly doing something they know they aren't supposed to be doing. The five transitioning to the two of pentacles to me is very interesting because in traditional tarot the five of cups is depicted as someone overlooking three of there cups that have fallen over while only two remain, and the two of cups is- well two cups lmao. To me it reads as though they are going through a period of a lot of loss, a lot of releasing, a lot of letting go in order to call in this exchanging of cups. They must free themselves of whatever mental and emotional prison they have locked themselves up in, take a chance on themselves and let themself make the slow burn progress they need without rushing themself. It seems as though there is something that they decided is not worth being in their energy anymore, that they are going to take the final stand and see this energy through and out the door. They are no longer standing for betrayal or people who intentionally build up their trust only to stab them in their back. They've learned their worth and who they are and they are going to properly express it. They are no longer over giving, no longer draining themselves of much needed assets for others who clearly do not deserve it. It is a difficult thing to do but they are managing themselves well, taking their time without being so harsh. They are balancing out their energy, juggling as much as they can without over doing it, focussing on having and creating a harmonious life and future for themselves with someone that is in the same energy as them. They want to celebrate and work with their equal on creating that long lasting generational wealth so that they may share it or pass it on to possible future children. This wealth could be financial or, that deep unshakable stability that can provide comfort and stable new beginnings and life for generations. Although things may suck for the both of them at the moment, everything is and will be fine.

2oP rx, PoP rx, KoP rx, 2oW, 2oS rx, 9oS, Devil rx, PoW rx, 10oC rx, 8oW rx, Moon, KoW, Judgement, Emperor rx, 3oC rx, PoC rx, 9oC, AoS, Strength.

So... They too are really unbalanced about this, perhaps they feel overwhelmed and over flowing in some areas related to Suga. The pentacles cards being reversed feels like a confirmation of said instability, as well as potential blockages here. However, the two of wands here suggest that Shooky is well aware of it, that they are capable of deducing what is wrong based on the past and by peering into the potentiality of the future. It is possible that they are a reader as well. Despite this though, they are still experiencing some anxious thoughts, perhaps struggling to sleep at night because of this. The devil reversed indicates that they may succumb to their own demons from time to time, perhaps being in that head of theres is more appealing than being present in their life. Perhaps they think being kept up in that head of theres, on autopilot is a faster way to come out of the energy they are experiencing. They might want to make hasty decisions in hopes of attaining this connection but all that does is put them in this energy of lack and force themselves to slow down. They must decide if the moons reflection in the pond is real or if the one in the sky is. It's all about perspective yes, and both comes with it's dangers, but one is a primordial being that can guide you anywhere you go with it's light. It seems here that they might agree with me that Suga needs to stand up and remember who the fuck he is lmao. It's like they are very conscious of the problems he is facing, more conscious than their own. It's a cute dynamic of support and encouragement but- in the effort of doing so they forget themselves and forget that this path is one of collaborative efforts. Together, they achieve more than apart. They have a great dynamic that works really well with each other, true ebb and flow, yin and yang, Tui and La. They'll be alright.

Cub, Lizard, Hermit Crab, Rooster, Jellyfish, Goose, Cardinal.

Awwww, poor thing, this is some terribly rough energy to be in. The cub is in response to this decks Bear card which is mother energy, the lizard is repeating cycles and unlearned lessons. The hermit crab reminds us of the necessity to withdraw, introspect, explore ones inner landscape and grow whereas rooster is a dominant and oppressive energy. The jellyfish reminds us of the importance of flow, where the goose warns us of upcoming dangers and territorial nature. Lastly the cardinal is a companion from beyond the veil. My heart goes out to them. I'll try to keep it as vague as possible but, what I'm getting from this reading and later confirmed through the song is that, Shooky has a tumultuous relationship with a maternal figure. So much so that they've felt abandoned and uncared for, having to both parent and reparent themselves. These types of wounds don't disappear overnight, they pick at you from time to time which leads us into the lizard energy, the energy of repeating cycles and lessons, unlearning lessons. It seems as though they've been caught in a cycle, having to sacrifice a limb to break free each time. With hermit crab, it is painfully obvious that this is an energy that they need to break free from once and for all. It is absolutely imperative that they withdraw and seek solace somewhere else, lest they allow their only protection to be chipped away in an environment where that could be a death sentence. Flowing into the rooster energy, in this deck, the hen is in response to the rooster. TMI but, hens are so detrimentally submissive that if a rooster comes by they will assume mating position so much so that it can actually be damaging to their health. With the added dynamic of a clearly oppressive maternal figure, it is possible that this is a dynamic that one does not want to be in. It seems here, with the jellyfish, rather than being submissive they've adapted to be akin to a jellyfish, allowing the ocean currents to guide them wherever so it may. It seems as though this false sense of security and truce is now coming to an end. With goose being known for their ferocity and hostility, it's best to get out of dodge before the goose decides to attack. Lastly is cardinal, they are not alone in this, constantly being guided by their spirit team, ancestors and possibly even the energy of Suga as well. Good luck to them.

Their song is Glue by Gigi Perez.

Songs they want to send to each other

Suga: Kill for Your Love by Labrinth, Feels like by Gracie Abrams, Believe by Caamp, Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran, Halley's Comet by Billie Eilish, Homesick by Noah Kahan

Shooky: Wait by the River by Lord Huron, CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish (I'm noticing a theme here, gonna do another in depth on them), Afraid by The Neighbourhood, Royals by Lorde, All the Pretty Girls by KALEO, Drive by SZA.

Jin:

PoP rx, 9oP, 4oS, 2oW, KnoC rx, 5oC rx, Hanged man rx, KoP, 9oS, 5oP, Emperor, 8oW rx, 10oW rx, Star.

He seems to be doing really good! He's taking a break from doing anything work wise, learning wise, journey wise, and really enjoying the fruits of his labor and his time off. He's resting as much as he can currently because he has plans on being busy in the future- I got the strongest craving for Trinidadian macaroni pie mid reading so perhaps he's exploring and indulging in foods, I'm envious. It seems as though he has decided to walk away or step away from anything romantic for the time being, I heard "I've seen the light" which leads me to believe he has seen whoever he was with for their true colors and decided that that is not what he wants and is taking a break to be himself, to stabilizing himself. I do see he does have a bit of a fear and anxious thoughts about not having anyone around if he is ever in need but, he is showing up as the emperor, someone who is highly capable and often is surrounded by a good support system. He seems to be taking things slow, taking his time, wanting to be with himself and within himself

6oW, Death, KnoP rx, 10oC rx, 4oP rx, QoS rx, Star, 8oS rx, 6oP.

Fucking love this for him. He successfully put an end to a third party energy that did not align with him or what he wanted. It seemed as though this energy did try to force things to fit where they did not, so did he, but he has successfully nipped it in the bud. That person is probably having a hard time accepting it, and he himself is a little jaded but man, he feels a whole lot better after it. He's very much in a healing and releasing energy, spending more time with friends and actually giving and caring to those around him. He's in a "protecting my energy" sort of mood!

Shadow Person, Swallow, Goat, Squirrel, Swan, Pigeon

The shadow person is our unrecognized self, the swallow is a sign to weary sailors that they are almost home. This to me reads as though he is almost to the bottom of the deepest darkest parts of himself and that is genuinely amazing. He is healing, loving himself, learning himself and apparently, almost home! The goat is a sign of untapped potential, fertility, virility and stubbornness while the squirrel prepares us for the future, encouraging work life balances. Goodness this is such good energy, probably the only one having a good time atm lmao. He's in a preparation stage, he is setting himself up and his life up for the future, creating a good work life balance while tapping into the deepest parts of himself and awakening abilities he never knew he had. The swan is the ultimate visage of soulmates and connections, the pigeon reminds us to have situational awareness, to know our way back home and to be in the present moment. I have no other way to say this but this man knows where his home is, he knows where his heart and his soulmate is and he is not going to get caught up in situationships that he knows won't last. He is staying in the present so that he does not miss this moment.

His songs are Mean It by Gracie Abrams, Love by Lana Del Rey, I Lied by Lord Huron and Allison Ponthier, I Has Some Help by Post Malone and Morgan Wallen, party favor by Billie Eilish, Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan, Billie Bossa Nova by Billie Eilish.

Rj:

2oS rx, PoS rx, 6oS, QoW, 8oC rx, PoW rx, 10oW rx, 7oW, 2oP, AoS, KnoC rx, Star, 4oC, Justice.

They seem to have recently made a choice, for better or worse, not letting themselves me blinded by indecision or fear. They've been facing the anxiety that they feel in a somewhat defensive energy. Perhaps they are dealing with a bit of gossip by being super blunt and cut throat about it. This is helping them move away from something that has been troubling them for quite some time, allowing them to step in their power, their passion, their verve and creativity, allowing themselves to be the hottie they are. They've let that house of cards fall, they have willingly let go and walked away from a path that does not serve them, one that brought them more trouble than what it was worth. They're released the burden and are now spending their energy defending and believing in something they know is for them and that they know is worth it. They may be feeling a bit of doubt or opposition though, hence the seven of wands present. They will get some sort of divine message, divine confirmation, something that they literally cannot ignore or deny as much as they try to. This is a manifestation of all their hopes and dreams as much as they don't want to believe it. It seems as though they are the type of person that when they get what they want, they become afraid to take it but, this is their justice, their reward for going through what they did.

PoS rx, 6oP, 4oS, Hanged man rx, Lovers rx, 3oW, 2oP, 10oP rx, KoW, Devil rx, 8oS rx, 6oW, 7oW, Hierophant, 10oW rx, QoC, 6oC, Justice.

"I don't wanna say too much" proceeds to drop 25% of my deck... So, I'll keep this as brief as possible. This is incredibly healing, incredibly rejuvenating, forcing them to see things from all kinds of perspectives, causing them to come to complete stops and check in with themselves. It seems as though either they too have left a relationship not meant for them or they are aware of Jin leaving his and are in this active waiting energy, preparing for their ships to dock or to travel themselves. They are and are seeking balance and reciprocal energy, the ability to build from the bottom up, not on the foundations set by others. They are definitely heading towards each other with such speed, dropping their vices and unhealed energy along the way. They have spent a lot and I mean a lot of time releasing themselves from this mental prison they've enforced on their self and they are so ready to experience this victory, this moment of recognition they've been waiting for. This is something that they deem important to protect as it was revealed unto them by someone of high spiritual standing. They are still releasing their binds, releasing their burdens and worries, letting themselves open up and be vulnerable and loving. They're healing their inner child, letting themselves fall deeply in love with life again. This is so utterly deserved, definitely after all they've been through.

Hawk, Cub, Mallard, Squirrel, Lion.

The hawk gives us intelligence, independence, clarity and allows us to adapt while the cub is all about the inner child. It seems as though they may harbor some resentments about having to grow up faster than their peers which is a valid feeling but, the hawk warns us that all is not what it seems. I have a feeling that they should definitely have a talk with their parents especially since there were two songs in Jin's part of the reading that mentioned talking to their partners parents and somehow seamlessly transitions into each other. The mallards call awakens our subconscious and our dreams while the squirrel encourages us to prepare for the future with a healthy work life balance, while the lion shows us pride through the divine masculine and father. To me it reads as though they have been having a lot of dreams about this, innumerable dreams about Jin, their connection, and their relationship with their parents and growing up. They may have to address what the divine masculine and what fatherhood means to them in order to properly prepare for their future. Good luck to them.

Their songs are Figurines by Gigi Perez, Fireworks by Mitski, The A Team by Ed Sheeran, Ancient Names, Pt. I by Lord Huron, Bird cage blue and yellow by Yaeklore, Lets Fall in Love for the Night by FINNEAS.

Songs they want to send to each other

Jin: When She Smiles by Gigi Perez, A Pearl by Mitski, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore (the fly is back), Sun to Me by Zach Bryan, WHAT'S GOOD by Tyler the Creator, Third of May/ Ōdaigahara by Fleet Foxes

Rj: Flowers by Faye Webster ft Father, Loving Is Easy by Rex Orange County ft Benny Sings, My Vine by Wasia Project, Home by Bruno Major, rises the moon by Liana Flores

J-Hope:

PoP rx, Hermit, Star, 5oP, AoP rx, 10oW rx, World, 8oS, 4oC, 9oC, KnoS, 8oP.

So, ha, he's in a good but longing energy. Anytime I do a reading and a Hozier song is involved, it instantly takes the yearning to a level catastrophic- specifically this one. There might have been something in his physical life that is drawing more of his attention, away from something or someone he cares about which to him, is bad news bears. Thankfully though, it is giving him time to turn within the self, possibly meditating more often, focusing on things that give him hope, his northern star. I get a tired energy from him, possibly from the touring and traveling. He could be in a position where he may be needing some help, but those around him are unable to help him in the way he needs. Those around him can help him financially if so be it but- in reality he wants to release the "burden of his passions" so to speak... I get the feeling that if he is able to have this... releasing energy... it might actually cause him to spiral so he's being- pent up... on purpose lmfao. He knows what he wants and he is refusing and also is unaccepting of anything unlike it. He may be experiencing a but of doubt but, he knows where his pride and contentment lay, where his achievements will reside so he is taking great stride to work hard, doubly hard for it. Man is on a mission. Considering how private he is, this is a shock lmao.

2oP rx, 10oS, 2oW, KoP rx, 4oP, Wheel of Fortune rx, 8oP, 7oC, 4oC, QoS rx, KoC rx, 10oC rx, 3oS rx, Strength.

Alright, I heard "mah angel, mon cherie (≧▽≦)" how cute lol. It may seem that he feels currently that him and Mang may be at odds in the sense that they might be juggling with a lot at the moment which isn't really allowing them to connect which then turns him into somewhat of this lovesick puppy that whines until their human comes home lmao. He may be victim to the accursed doomscrolling on social sites when in this energy. When it comes to Mang though, even though he may experience some doubt, his pathway is clear. Even if it doesn't make sense, is unstable, or he loses all his money he chooses to hold in, kind of like Jimin and hoarding his treasures. It's as though, even if the wheel changes and fate has another plan, he will work to the bone to realign to the current energy of Mang. He could be offered many different options, choices, pathways in life, but if it is not what and who he wants, he is simply not doing it. The universe could cry blood asking him to shift and he would not care, he is a man that knows exactly what he wants. He wants to be the one that holds and heals their heart, and gives them the strength to continue.

Whitetail, Turkey, Bear, Hippo, Mallard.

OOF this is strong lmao. The whitetail heralds a rebirth, walking us through the process while turkey encourages us to dive into our primal instincts. It seems as though our boi is going through a deep rebirth, taking on a new form of himself that has always been there but wrapped up in the frond of others expectations of him. This rebirth is intrinsically tied to his wild and primal side. The bear is the mother, reparenting oneself while hippo is the abundance, reaping of rewards and indulgence, It seems as though this rebirth was spurred on by him either reconnecting or connecting deeper to a maternal person in his life and sequentially the maternal energy within him. This is allowing him to indulge and enjoy more than what he has before with this broader view. Lastly, the mallard guides us into the subconscious mind, into the dream state. His dreams must be wild as all hell, expansive and exploratory. It is possible he is getting his signs through the dreams he has.

His song is First Time by Hozier. Cheeky little thing snuck in Adore You by Harry Styles

Mang:

Hierophant, 10oC rx, QoS rx, World, 10oW rx, 2oS rx, 9oS, QoW.

It seems as though they are in both the student and the teacher position here. They seem to be someone that has answers that come from both experience and a divine place, to which they are always learning and sharing what they learn. I'm more specifically drawn to the keys at the feet of the Hierophant and the scepter as well as positioning of the Hierophants hands. In traditional tarot, the scepter is a symbol reserved for the pope which indicates spiritual authority. The keys unlock spiritual enlightenment and the consciousness of the subconscious. The two fingers are related to the magicians posture, encouraging one to live practically through ideals as well as acknowledging divide and union. It seems as though Mang is a highly spiritual force of nature. Someone who knows their shit and is not one to be trifled with. It seems as though they may be experiencing some misfortune in familial life, something that left them feeling disempowered, as though they were being heavily scrutinized, over criticized. This is an energy that they have personally closed out and moved away from, they have released the burdens placed onto them by others and refuse to pick them back up. The wool has been removed from their eyes and they see as clear as the new telescope NASA launched. That doesn't mean that they are immune to doubt, anxiety and general low times, but they are someone who can and will bounce back with the force of ten million suns.

4oC, QoS rx, Sun rx, 10oS, 5oS rx, KoW, 5oC rx, 8oC, AoP rx, 8oW rx.

This energy is giving me the feeling of post concert blues a little bit. It to me reads as though they are also very clear about what they want both in regards to J-Hope and in life in general. While they may be open to experiencing new things, there are some things that are near and dear to their heart that they refuse to accept a lesser version of it. This gives me the feeling of someone who'd fully curse out their spirit team for "playing in their face" so to speak. They too seem to be experiencing a serious lull, some heavy doubt about this, as well as a terrible sense of longing- as though their heart is being pulled by an invisible string. They may currently be feeling as though they are bogged down by a lot of things in live, however they are surrendering to the notion because while they are aware that that is the natural due process and order of things. They are aware that, ultimately in the end, they are in charge of their path and their journey, and that their passion for this and for him is what keeps it going, They've already over come so much throughout their journey, they're not going to let a small hiccup slow them down. They are ready, willing and capable of walking away from all that they've built if it no longer serves them, but in this case, they are more than ready to take that next step. It's just a matter of divine timing of when that door opens up and that opportunity comes rolling in. Until then, they are forced to take it slow, to focus on the mundane and be present in their life.

Frog, Swan, Turtle, Penguin, Tapir, Goat.

The frog reminds us of the importance of our spiritual hygeine, how important it is to cleanse the space around us and ourself as well as our energy, and swan is an auspicious symbol of soulmates, a divine connection within another. At this current moment, Mang is being encouraged to and is cleansing their spiritual space and practice, resetting their altars, cleansing their cards, and most importantly cleansing their mind and their spirit, they are releasing the old and what no longer serves to make space for the new that the swan heralds. It may be important for them at this time to have a good cry in the shower, one that is ugly yet releasing and empowering, one that you fall into a deep ass nap after words and wake up like you got transported to the year 3005. Have I said this before? No? Then I'm gonna say it again, I fucking love it when the cards confirm intuitive pings :) The turtle is about patience, allowing divine timing to take its place, while the penguin connects us to family, close relationships and our social life. They are being reminded once again that patience is a virtue, and that they should reach out to their support system for comfort and- well support lol. Suffering in silence gets one nothing but silent pain. The tapir reminds us the value of acting in service to others, curbing our selfishness while the goat reminds us of our untapped potential, our fertility (creativity), virility as well as stubbornness. To me, this reads as Mang already being a rather giving person, someone who would donate to charity when they can, someone who strongly supports moral causes, however, with the addition of the goat, it seems to me that they have barely tapped the surface of their greatness. Perhaps they are trapped in the mindset of being of service to others, stubbornly avoiding the service of themselves. I get the feeling that this untapped potential within them has something to do with things being readily available within their reach but this stubborn energy of the goat preventing them from reaching out. Good luck to them

Their song is Please be Rude by Gigi Perez

Songs they want to send to each other

J-Hope: WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish, U Deserve by Wasia Project, Nomad by Clairo, She Won't Go Away by Faye Webster, Feels Like a Dream by Rocco, Sign by Liana Flores.

Mang: Landslide (Remastered) by Fleetwood Mac, Sun to Me by Zach Bryan, my future by Billie Eilish, The View Between Villages by Noah Kahan, Sunlight by Hozier, Chemistry by Gigi Perez.

Rm:

Everything is fine, 3oW rx, 9oS, 8oS rx, 6oP rx, 9oC rx, PoS rx, KNoP, 3oP, 4oP rx, KnoC, 4oS rx, PoC, PoP rx, 6oS, 10oS, 2oS, 10oW, KoP rx.

So, everything is definitely not fine. It is giving defeatist, "I'll just lay here and hurt thank you". There is an air of feeling as though there isn't much of anything worth waiting for anymore, guy really wants to go home. He is not enjoying his time, he barely gets much sleep if he even sleeps, if his mind gives him a break from the constant cycle of over thinking and thinking about all the worst case scenarios. It feels as though he is trying to battle that by being more selfish with his energy and himself but it doesn't feel like himself, he doesn't feel as though he is achieving anything worth noting where he is currently physically and emotionally. I get the feeling with the page of swords reversed, he might've gotten some news that really upset him, but theres this acceptance energy? "I can't force it/you"? Regardless of that, he is taking his time day by day, the knight of pentacles is slow moving grounded energy. With the three of pentacles, he could be working alongside a group of people or specific person. Perhaps seeking counseling to overcome and let go of these things that took more precedent in his life than himself. It reads as though these are the practical steps he's taking to be able to offer a romantic proposition to someone or to better connect with himself and emotions. Honestly with the four of swords in the reversed position as the energy of coming out of inactivity and a restful period and going into an action based one it does seem like it is towards a person, possibly Koya. It feels as though this is a new energy, someone he has yet to meet? It seems as though the blockage to this is rooted in a lack of groundwork, a lack of following through and not seizing opportunities, perhaps a lot of bad news in earthly matters such as finances or health as well. He is trying his best to get the hell outta dodge, to heal slowly but- he is still overcome with grief and sadness at some sort of betrayal he felt. It seems as though this is something locked away deep inside of him that he is too afraid? to let out? He'd rather bare the weight of the burden as though it is his sacred duty. Even though it is actively working against his innate grounded and stable persona and aura.

4oS rx, 4oP rx, 6oP rx (clarified by 7oC, KnoS, 4oS rx, 9oS rx, Fool, KnoC), PoP, PoC rx, Hanged man rx, 6oC rx, Death, 8oC rx, 9oP, 9oC, 10oP rx, QoC rx, PoS rx, 9oS rx, AoS, QoS rx, 10oC, 2oC, 4oW, KoS rx, Empress rx, AoW rx, 7oS, Magician, Moon, Strength, Justice rx.

As I said before, it feels as though this energy is coming out of stagnancy, it is coming out of storage. It seems that something here is mending, there is a lot of releasing, of oneself and especially the control of the self or imposed by another. It's like this expectation they had of themselves, Koya and Rm, are being released, purposefully, selfishly and somewhat violently purged from themselves. Their are many options afford to them, but it takes too much time and effort to choose? So they're going buckwild and trying to seize every opportunity afforded to them, again coming out of inaction, diving straight into action, releasing the anxiety, the fear, they had to break down in order to build back up I suppose. It's a new era for them both and they are taking massive leaps of faith towards each other. There is a lot of effort being made in earthly matters, it feels like some sort of teamwork but on opposite poles. It seems as though for either one or both of them, their childhood traumas are causing them significant delays, possibly causing one of them to stall quite a bit. Thankfully they are both letting go of the past, resolving their childhood issues and maturing further in these aspects. One or both of them might be leaving from their home soon. There is a lot of new energy here waiting to come through the door but, you can't fit anything new in a closet full of junk so they're clearing out all of that energy for these new things. It isn't easy, there is a lot of attachment to these things as suggested in the eight of cups in the reversed position, there is some fears of moving on and fears of commitment to certain things on both sides. Regardless, he is hoping for the both of them, mainly Koya to prosper, to profit, to elevate themselves and social status for their own wellbeing. I get the feeling that he has come to terms with the fact that he cannot create a new generation by himself which- nvm...

He wants for someone to be emotionally mature enough to not be shaken by whatever might be said in the press, someone who can use their intuition to tell when something is wrong. However it seems that he is aware that is a bit unreasonable as that person would be akin to an unhealed queen of wands, someone who is very harsh in their punishments and jaded as all hell from past pains. He really wants a happy ending, a happy home life, the ability to cross the ocean and offer this proposal, to celebrate a successful union but- he feels like he is being too imposing, coming off too strong and controlling? I feel as though he might be scared of scaring off Koya, making them feel insecure anxious, and unstable which throws them off balance and off their game. He fears that it affects them to the point of it causing delays, creative blocks, kind of like spooking a turtle back in their shell. However, he knows that this is mostly his anxious thoughts overstepping, kind of like getting carried away within the thralls of an intrusive thought storm. He's doing what he can, with what he has practiced and mastered to go within and illuminate the shadows, mustering up as much strength as he can because he feels as though this isn't over and was possibly unfairly judged?

Cardinal, Bear, Swan, Jellyfish, Elephant, Kangaroo, Penguin, Goat.

The cardinal is a sign that we have divine visitors, angelic presences, love, divination, empathy, devotion and passion while the bear is mother energy, reparenting oneself. It seem as though he is healing himself and reparenting himself through connecting to important spiritual figures in his life and beyond. I have the feeling he could be mainly connecting with a grandmother spirit that really helps him especially in his connection to Koya. Funnily enough to get swan in a reading is to be made aware of your soulmate connections, whereas the jellyfish remind us to release our expectations and go with the flow. It seems as though he has a specified focus on a divine connection with someone, highly likely Koya as there are two cards pointing towards spiritual soulmate connections. He currently is and needs to work with his spiritual team to learn how to go with the flow, to minimize damage to his sensitive parts by minimizing the friction created when trying to go against the flow of the ocean currents. The elephant warns us of obstacles yet reminds us of our strength, wisdom and endurance where as kangaroos revive our raw energy, vitality and optimism. To overcome the obstacle at hand, he must remember his own strength, tap into his raw energy and vitality, tackle the obstacle head on and regain his sense of optimism. The penguin reminds us of our family and close relationships while the goat awakens our untapped potential, virility, fertility, and sometimes stubbornness. Now is a time for him to spend as much time as he can with those who replenish him for there is yet parts of himself to be unlocked to reach the true peak of who he is.

His songs are deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo, Getting Older by Billie Eilish, Still by Noah Kahan, Kill For You by Gigi Perez, Use Somebody by Kings of Leon, My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski, DOGTOOTH by Tyler, The Creator, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore, I Will Be Back One Day by Lord Huron, Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey) by The Weeknd, Congratulations by Post Malone ft Quavo, Good Days by SZA, watch by Billie Eilish, Why by Sabrina Carpenter, When She Smiles by Gigi Perez.

Koya:

AoS rx, 5oC, 7oP rx, 10oP rx, PoP, KoS, 9oP rx, Emperor rx, AoC, AoP rx, 7oS, 6oC, 5oP rx, Star, PoS rx, Tower rx, KnoC, 3oP, Wheel of Fortune, Chariot rx, Fool, 10oC, 4oC, Hermit, 6oW, 5oW rx, 8oW.

I smelled mothballs as soon as I started to shuffle, they might have mothballs around or they've been seeing a lot of moths around them and their home, possible a child of Hekate. What I'm reading from this is that they had a heavy bout of doubt, it seems as though there was a message that was trying to get through to them that they could not receive as they were too lost within the fog of their own mind. Heavily dealing with creative blocks and failures, falling for misinformation, possibly making several wrong decisions along the way. Damn poonks :/ Anywho, they experienced a really heavy loss- to them but it was basically them sobbing and crashing out over spilt milk but it was still something that was serious to them. It left them feeling as though all of the work that they put in wasn't worth it, all those long hours and late nights amounted to nothing seemingly, leading them to feel like their future was in jeopardy... seemingly. Everything turned out somewhat fine, they dusted themselves off and kept it pushing. You know that tiktok sound of female rage? Yeah, that was them except only screaming that slows down to jelly fish jam from Spongebob. They restarted their journey from where it left off but with more intention, using their past experiences as stepping stools and guide marks of where not to step. It seems as thought this crash out was part of a rift between Koya and Rm, one where they were being way more logical than emotional, trying to be fair to Rm but forgetting themselves in the mix. They felt as though they couldn't compare in some ways, they still feel less accomplished, not attached to the masculine energy within them enough to work towards what they want. They have the love, the full cup, but they've missed a lot of the physical and material opportunities to push themselves forward. The reason of them missing these opportunities is this deep engrained need to hide and shelter themselves, to be sneaky and strategic with their energy and presence due to childhood trauma related to being harmed due to simply being perceived. The are healing, receiving help and are coming out of a bad financial spot though, thankfully. They are trying to stay positive, to keep the hope and keep wishing, but they are probably one more bad news away from another more severe crashout. It's like they are trying to hold themselves together with a kindergarteners arts and craft project. I love when the cards confirm each other because it does seem like they've both made this pact to work with each other to take all steps necessary towards each other, including I'm hearing promising to send specific signs to each other?

The wheel of fate is in their favor here, I'm also hearing "fortune favors the bold" so perhaps they have to do something bold and out of the box that they would never think to do in a million years. It feels as though, currently, they are powerless against stopping themselves from making these leaps of faith, the only problem being is that they lack direction, could be making a leap of faith and land on the same exact spot honestly. Regardless, they are working towards and will achieve this harmonious reunification that they are looking for, unfortunately they will have to go within themselves and clear out the weeds, dust off the old books to find the keys they are missing, which, they don't want to do. They just have to grit their teeth and bear it because their success is right around the corner. They could possibly be an up and coming star/celebrity, about to put themselves on the line for the first time. It may happen in a place where there is no competition though, only camaraderie or, them having to submit to the energy and let it slingshot them forward.

Sun rx, 9oP rx, PoC rx, Magician rx, Moon rx, 8oW rx, High Priestess, 10oS, 9oS rx, 9oW rx, PoW rx, Hierophant, Star, Chariot.

So... things are not good... Thankfully the high priestess is here, indicating that they know exactly what is wrong and how to fix it. It seems like the rift that happened has yet to be healed, it seems as though Koya is still somewhat worried? They feel incredibly sad, theres this heavy energy so possibly oppressed as well. It seems as though they did not want to be financially dependent on their partner. It definitely seems as though this rift was caused by unrealistic expectations or fears from Koya, possibly worrying about their place in Rm's life and what it'd mean for them, it seems like this was definitely spurred on by childhood trauma wounds reopening. They did not feel all that in control, they felt as though they were manipulated by something in there personal life, tricked, or lacking mental clarity about something due to this heavy "weight of the world" energy that bled over into their connection with Rm. It's as though they deceived themselves by diving into places they knew they shouldn't go, spurring anxiety and causing their own intuition to be blocked. It slowed down the progress a whole lot and as I mentioned before, they had some sort of divine messages that wanted to come in but couldn't because of their mental state. They are aware of this, I mean, became aware of this after some time, after solving the riddles the Sphinx left behind, Now they're left feeling rather- like a pin cushion if you will. They need some time to heal as it seems as though their trust is still shaky here. They're thankfully no longer spiraling, rather going with the flow, not putting up a resistance to the change that needs to happen. They are painfully aware of how gullible they were though. It seems as though with the hierophant that they are slowly overcoming this through reconnecting with the divine. They could be a reader or someone who is spiritual and has access to the keys at the feet of the hierophant to unlock the necessary doors. They just have to focus on their hopes, dreams and wishes while they are being rushed forward.

Skunk, Salamander, Moose, Boar, Kangaroo, Lion, Lizard, Squirrel.

The skunk reminds us that there are alternative solutions, to rely on our resourcefulness while the salamander encourages us to partake in the alchemical process. It seems to me our dear Koya needs to turn to their resourcefulness to find an alternate solution to the blockages their facing, perhaps the solution is to simply turn their woes into their power. The imposing moose shows us the obstacles at hand, and the possibility of giving something too much power over us, while the boar is the destroyer, our self sabotage. OOf that felt like a call out to myself lmfao anywho, Koya might be giving their fears way too much power over them, making them seem bigger than they appear which feeds into this cycle of sabotaging their own efforts. The kangaroo gives us raw energy, vitality, and optimism while the lion rekindles our relationship with the divine masculine and father. It reads to me that Koya is needing to really tap into their optimism here to heal their relationship with the idea of the father as well as their divine masculine energy of action. The lizard warns us the repetition of cycles and unlearned lessons, the squirrel encourages us to build proper work life balances and prepare for the future. It seems as though Koya is in a pivotal moment in their life. They're needing to recognize the patterns in their life and put an end to the repetition, create a better work life schedule in order to prepare for their future. Good luck to them!

Their songs are Crybaby by SZA, Liquid Smooth by Mitski, I Carrion (Icarian) by Hozier, I'm Right Here by Young Spirit, 911/ Mr. Lonely by Tyler, The Creator Ft Frank Ocean and Steve Lacy, Kid & Leveret by Yaeklore (again???), Son of a Gun by Lord Huron, Way Down We Go by KALEO, San Luis by Gregory Alan Isakov, Photograph by Ed Sheeran, Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish, Daylight by Harry styles, Please Be Rude by Gigi Perez.

Songs they want to send to each other

Rm: Chemicals by Gregory Alan Isakov, Let It Go by James Bay, Sun to Me by Zach Bryan, come out and play by Billie Eilish (help?), Georgia by Vance Joy, It Will Come Back by Hozier (HELP? HELLO?)

Koya: I Carrion (Icarian) by Hozier, To Be Alone by Hozier, SWEET/I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE by Tyler, The Creator ft Brent Faiyaz & Fana Hues, Billie Bossa Nova by Billie Eilish (chile- so anyways), Washing Machine Heart by Mitski, First Time by Hozier.

#bts tarot #kpop tarot #celebrity tarot #tarot #celeb tarot #god im so tired #jimin tarot #jimin tarot reading #jungkook tarot #jungkook future spouse #suga tarot reading #yoongi tarot reading #yoongi future spouse #taehyung tarot #jin tarot #jhope tarot #namjoon future spouse #namjoon tarot

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edgeray · 1 year ago

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Ray! 🍅 anon here, I said I wasn't going to request but there's one idea I've been really, REALLY itching at.

So you know how you reblogged "cold nights" by beiibeii? Yeah about that... I think I cooked an angst idea of this on a related tangent? (If you choose to write this, ofc)

How about Mother!Reader who is faced with the same scenario of Arle neglecting them to the point that she loses hope in their relationship? Think of the angst when the children constantly remind their Father of important dates but she's away or somehow missing most of them because of work. To the point reader just implies for them to stop trying and accepts the fact that they married Arlecchino but is now simply the Knave's wife? Like even the children can see them losing hope which is why they sometimes lowkey plead with their Father to actually pay more attention to Mother. Mother marrying Father means that Mother is strong but behind their strong facade you can see their sadness! You can feel their loneliness! And their sense of isolation and sorrowful acceptance of their new reality. And Arle does not pick up on the subtle signs until it's Too Late. Like. Reader in the coffin Late.

And as the Knave's wife Reader does need to undertake missions like in "I am Fine in Your Arms" but because reader has lost so much hope in living a wife outside of being the Knave's wife, reader does not make an effort to return alive. The angst of the burial, maybe the children blaming their Father etc. The really young ones aside, I don't think they would be actively angry with their Father, just very, VERY, disappointed. HotH would lose its warmth for a while before Lyney, Lynette and Freminet try their best to build it back (but of course, it never becomes as warm as it used to be)

Whether or not you choose to give this one a happy ending is up to you, but on my end the only happy ending that I cooked up for them is that Arle wakes up in the next Samsara with all these memories of losing Reader and prevents the relationship from going South in the first place. (Bonus points if Reader also has the memories and compares it to how they were treated by Arle previously, makes a comparison, and goes "How I wish this were my Arle" without knowing that it actually IS their Arle, just acknowledging she fucked up BIG time and is now making heavy amends for it. and Arle Knows because of that look that Reader gives her, sorrow and joy in a complex blend.)

...I think by now you can tell that I'm an angst writer too HAHSHHSHA Nobody leaves my fics without getting a knife and I promise it's just for the plot (like we always say).

I've still been keeping up with your writings (Beauty and The Beast actually fits, holy-) (Someone send Siren!Arle a whole farmhouse of ham for her consumption please) and yes I agree that you've been pumping out bangers after bangers. (I mean. Given that, you probably can afford to be a little indulgent? If writing this much quality about your muse doesn't give you the OK to put your hands all over them, abs and all, what does?)

As always, prioritise your sanity and schedule first, stay well rested and hydrated!

Lost Warmth

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N - Link to my momma's (@beiibeiii) piece right here. If I see you read this before reading the masterpiece I just linked, know that I am a very disappointed axolotl. 😔 Anyways, you might be able to tell just how long this has been sitting in my inbox… haha… my bad guys. T^T. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write more angst. :3 And thank you for the additional comments 🍅 anon. I do have quite a soft spot for siren! arle, seeing that she was my first request (and requested from my momma :3). Wanted this to be a little longer, but I do have to wake up earlier tomorrow, so this is what you get T^T. Hopefully it's still good. Content warnings / info - angst, character death (duh), reader is referred to as ‘Mother’ but is otherwise GN!, 1.4k words

Cold is a feeling you've long gotten used to. Cold is your husband's dismissal of your existence, with every interaction ending with her blunt words and back towards you, leaving you with a crumbling heart. Cold are the long nights as you anxiously wait for Arlecchino's appearance for a candlelit dinner you spent half the day preparing, only for her never to return until you fell to exhaustion on the couch, a flower bouquet that remains unreceived in your hands. Cold is the creeping loneliness in the late hours of the night, when you've finally grown tired of anticipating someone that will never come, and returned to bed alone. Cold is the way you shiver underneath the thickest of blankets, no one's body warmth to sink into, no one's softly whispered words into your ear to drift you to sleep. Cold is when instead of your husband, only dim stars, a bottle of liquor, and the tears that stream your face join you in bed.

When was the last time you had felt warmth?

You recall when the Knave first started courting you, how gentlemanly she was for such a rumored cruel Harbinger. You were first just a caretaker of the House of the Hearth, this small orphanage which you quickly found to be home for you. You couldn't help but adore the endearing children, watching as you slowly became a staple in this family. Despite your best efforts of hiding it, Arlecchino noticed when you snuck in the occasional pastry or cake from the town's most lavious bakery for the children, out of your own paycheck as well. It was then, your husband admitted, when she first fell for you. It had taken her months of encouragement from her ‘pestering’ children before she asked you out, and it was impossible to not fall for her charm.

How could you not? Not when she held you like you were her world. Not when she viewed you higher than the Tsaritsa herself. Not when her touch was heavenly, her words silky and sweet. When she proposed to you, your heart leapt with levity, and you thought your life was perfect now. A warm house, fitted with warm parents, that was what you had had, you had never felt so content.

Then came the long nights. Nights when she trudged home later than usual, where she fell asleep without a word but sunk into your arms still. Then she started forgetting, forgetting about the dates and birthdays, and anniversaries more and more. At first, you chalked it up to her demanding Harbinger duties, but as time grew and the excuses started to run out, the perfect life you knew was crumbling.

You became aware of this two years after your marriage when you had been preparing dinner for the two of you once she arrived home, slow cooking a steak since the early hours of the morning. Just as you exited the kitchen, you heard some children surrounding your husband before she left for another Harbinger meeting, telling her that you had a surprise for her once she came home and how excited you were for her to enjoy a new recipe you created. Your heart swelled with hope and appreciation for your children, especially when Arlecchino promised she would return in time.

You should have known better.

You ate your tear-ridden steak alone and went to bed, leaving the steak out for her for whenever she returned home. Just like how you fell asleep, you woke up without your husband's presence, and when you arrived at the kitchen, the meat and the note besides the plate were untouched.

You tried to eat the cold steak for lunch as well. You threw it away at the first bite. That day, you gathered your children, pleading them not to ‘pester’ Father with more reminders, as she was very busy. All that you gained back from the children was pitied expressions, and the agony in your chest worsened. Your children could pity you, but your husband couldn't? Even with your husband's coldness, you still carried out your Mother role, if only for the children. You cannot deny that the children's antics helped you forget the ever-present void inside you, caused by Arlecchino.

You never learned the reason for Arlecchino's behavior, why she had grown so cold towards you. Now, you suppose, you would never know.

Red fills your hazy vision as you lay on the ground, your entire body aching and fatigued, desperate gasps for air while your heart pounds in your eardrums. Your side was sliced, and the crimson liquid quickly poured out of the wound while you tried to stop the bleeding, but to no avail.

This is your end, you think to yourself as you weakly turn on your side, every nerve in your body protesting against the movement. Your bloodied hand comes into view, your engagement and wedding ring gleaming slightly underneath the blood. The rings bring your thoughts to Arlecchino–oh, how you imagine the common disappointment in her otherwise apathetic expression, disappointment at your mission's failure. Your eyes bubbled and blurred with tears, vivid memories of your wedding flashing through your mind. The wedding ring is beautiful, still polished with that bold scarlet, the same color of her eyes, the same eyes you could never stop drowning in.

Would she even know your absence? Would she ever acknowledge you, treat you properly like her partner even if you did return? You doubt it. Did you want to return a cold bed, to a husband that does not love you, to a house no longer warm?

It's warm.

Your body feels like fire courses through your veins as you feel inexplicably hot, yet it's a welcomed heat. It's the first time you've felt this, but it feels familiar, comforting, like a hearth, and you want nothing more than to surrender to it. It soothes your heartbeat and calms your breath, easing your body as if you were to sink into the most plush of beds, swallowed by the thickest of blankets. The warmth coils around you, wrapping you like a cozy embrace, evoking you to sleep. Your eyes flutter shutter, a faint smile plastered on your lips.

It feels just like Peruere's arms.

—

Arlecchino receives a letter addressed to her on the third day you've been sent on a mission. The contents make her drop the paper, and she rushes outside, without an additional word, leaving the House.

The children do not see her until she returns late into the night, a body wrapped in cloth in her arms. Arlecchino raised her children to be smart, to be attentive, to be logical. Whose body it is, they realize with little difficulty.

The children weep that night. Arlecchino does not. How can she, when her source of emotions is gone?

The burial takes place soon afterwards. As your body is placed into the ground, Arlecchino can feel the weight of her children's stare on her back. The charged tension between her and the children is palpable without words. She cannot discern which of the two reactions cut deeper. The seething fury underneath the oppressive grief for the young ones, having to lose another parent, or the crushing dismay inhabited by the older ones, specifically the twins and Freminet.

Their thoughts are clear, even when none of them speak out loud.

How could you fail Mother?

The House of the Hearth no longer suits the orphanage's name, not with your missing presence. There is no warmth, no matter how much the trio tries to fuel a lost flame. Even with Arlecchin's pyro vision, it is futile.

Arlecchino stands before your gravestone, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in her hand, and she rests it beside the other bouquets by your grave. Six bouquets in total, for each day after your burial.

“For all the flowers, I should have given you, my love,” she whispers as she addresses you, glancing up to the heavens. The last two words make her feel like a fraud, undeserving of calling you hers, when she had clearly never shown so.

Arlecchino, the Knave, the Fatui Harbinger, does not plead, does not beg, does not kneel. However, her knees drop to her dirt, and she grovels. “Please… wait for me one more time, my dear. Once I meet you again, I promise I'll never leave you alone, I'll never let you out of my arms again.”

There is no reply.

Arlecchino feels cold.

#arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x you #arlecchino #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact fanfics #genshin impact fics #genshin fanfics #genshin fics #edgeray.writes #edgeray.requests #edgeray.🍅anon

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mooblesandsoups · 27 days ago

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Tw implications/mentions of self harm/suicide and dissociation

So I rewatched Scott's double life recently just for fun and man so many little things your able to notice that I think are so important.

Like genuinely Scott's characters are typically very self-sacrfical in nature always giving things like lives or supplies away to those he trusts but double life is different...

For later we gotta take a look at C!Scotts pov on the first episode for us to understand him.

C!Scott spent all day desperately looked for his soulmate, asked everyone and even helped many others find their soulmate until it was just him and Cleo. At that point Scott's been wandering the contained world for hours at that point just hoping to find his soulmate to not luck not even once so he comes to the conclusion. "Hey they must not care about me."

So what else do you expect him to do besides trust the one person who's been his side pretty much the entire time and who he considers his best friend at that point. Especially when Cleo suggests becoming a team with just the two of them of course its intriguing to him because his soulmate doesn't care. Even when he finally meets his soulmate for the first time this entire game they just end up laughing at him like he didn't spend long grueling hours looking for her.

Like he didn't matter to them.

Scott takes this as a sign he was actually never wanted in the first place and leaves with Cleo who was already determined to leave. He didn't think Martyn would leave Pearl either bit hey Martyns devotion to Cleo has nothing to do with him other then he's being a bit of a problem.

After that the first thing he gets hit with is being damaged by powdered snow, all for a little fun he eventually find out and for the rest of the series it can be very obvious that Scott does not care about his own well being, he's the one who comes up with the axe crits every morning, he willingly sits in powdered snow whenever Pearl starts hurting him again ignoring his own pain to get revenge, he's now more reckless than we typically know of Scott walking of ledges that might be a bit high, or even letting out a few arsonist tendencies not caring if he gets burned in the flame.

Heck later on in the series Scott says something similar to thus, "when I get to red I'm offing myself"

In comparison to most other life series where Scott's more suicidal tendencies are more related to sacrifices for his allies, DL! Scott is straight up just suicidal no questions asked no thoughts about it.

It really doesn't help when he's constantly being told that his soulmate is "the one" and "maybe it'll get better" over and over again constantly putting the thought in his head that it's his fault for not at least trying with Pearl, oh people fight from time to time I'm sure you'll get better, oh I'm sure she's not THAT bad. They say while laughing as Scott is forced to watch people who don't know anything about his situation but in because they have their perfect soulmate so you must have one too.

He finally snaps when Jimmy is yelling at him saying over and over again how Cleo isn't his REAL soulmate just a phoney one yelling about how he doesn't get a say while threatening to burn something Jimmy loves in front of him. Only like the idea of being soulmates with Cleo instead of Pearl was the only thing keeping Scott from snapping.

Scott snaps because he knows Pearl doesn't care about him so he shouldn't be caring either even if its still obvious there's some lingering care still present it's overshadowed by the thought of "but I don't matter to her so what's the point."

Scott knows Pearl doesn't care to be his friend, he knows Pearl at the end rather be with Tilly rather than him, Scott knows Pearl killed Cleo with no shame or guilt, he knows Pearl doesn't care about him when the first thing she does is hold up a bow to him as he tries to take his life exactly like he promised.

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timesomewhere · 10 months ago

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in honour of the West End's next to normal closing today I've finally proof-read my 'things I noticed/general thoughts' post that's been sitting in my drafts since I saw it earlier this month. it's very long I'm very sorry.

Act One:

it was really fun watching this show in September given that there's two references to it in the first song

I adore the monologue about the pills that Dr. Fine gives during 'Who's Crazy'. it's rhythmic and funny yet also unnerving. It's such a quick and impactful way to summarise what Diana has been through for the past 16 years

Gabe does a 'one of your French girls' pose on the kitchen counter under the cabinets during 'My Psychopharmacologist and I'

Jamie Parker made direct eye contact with me during the last part of 'Who's Crazy' and it was one of the most intense experiences of my life

I might just be dense but I don't get the point of the neon sign that says 'Fine' which drops down during the Dr. Fine scene. Initially I thought that then one would drop down saying 'Madden' during his scenes to help people differentiate between the doctors but then it didn't so it just feels like a weird extra prop

speaking of random props, shout out to the iPad on the table in the opening scene which Gabe pretty much instantly takes away after telling Diana that she shouldn't obsess over tragic news stories and is then never seen again as far as I remember

Dan in the flashback scene being such an optimist about Diana's pregnancy and the future they're gonna have together... soul-crushing

Caissie Levy's 'I Miss The Mountains.' Holy Shit.

I love how Diana and Gabe are the only characters who sing on/stand on the table. it's as though it's this extra dimension of the house that only they have access to and it's a really neat and subtle way to show that they relate to each other in ways other characters don't

'It's Gonna Be Good' is so underrated. Jamie Parker's somewhat genuine optimism becoming optimism-through-gritted-teeth is incredibly acted

The way Jamie delivers the first line of 'He's Not Here' is devastating. the heaviness of that moment as you feel the audience around you realising what's just happened is something I'll remember forever

Gabe body-blocking Dan from Diana during 'I Am the One' is such good staging. People talk about how Jack Wolfe plays Gabe with a lot of layers and a lot of simultaneous contradiction and this song is one of the best examples of that. how Jack manages to project a character who is goading his father and protecting his mother at the same time is beyond me

also Jack has maybe half-an-inch on Jamie which obviously isn't something the actors control but it does makes Gabe seem just that bit more threatening when he's getting in Dan's face

for the first part of Superboy and the Invisible Girl when it's just Natalie singing, Gabe is actively laughing. He's totally unperturbed by her efforts to make herself seen to her mother. it's only when Diana replies, particularly when she says "you're our little pride and joy, our perfect plan" that you see his face drop and you see him trying to figure out a way to stop her from getting Diana's attention which then results in him kicking her off the melody in her own song

"I'll hurt you" being directed at Dan and "I'll heal you" being directed at Diana as Gabe gently touches her face gets me so bad. but the most painful part of 'I'm Alive' for me is when Gabe looks at Dan as he says "I'm the perfect stranger who knows you too well." that's the first time you realise that perhaps Gabe doesn't just impact Diana, and there's something much larger at play

Caissie and Jack W's voices harmonising on 'Catch Me I'm Falling' was one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Their voices are so magical together and their mother/son chemistry is incredible

The 'I Dreamed A Dance' into 'There's a World' sequence is one of the most tragically beautiful things I've ever witnessed. I went into the show knowing what Gabe was trying to achieve during 'There's A World' and yet Jack's voice is so beautifully haunting you totally forget you're supposed to root against Gabe in that moment

Jamie Parker's 'I've Been' is some of the best acting through song out there. Interestingly my friend and I had very different interpretation's of what Gabe's horrified reaction to the blood meant. I viewed it as him being upset about what he convinced Diana to do - he doesn't like seeing her hurt. Whereas my friend saw it as him being angry at himself that she didn't manage to follow through, meaning that he has failed to regain control over her life

'I'm no sociopath, I'm no Sylvia Plath. I ain't no Frances Farmer kind of find for you' is one of the best musical theatre lyrics of all time. I genuinely don't know why I Miss The Mountains is the 'big song' known from N2N over 'Didn't I See This Movie?', it's just so good

Natalie's 'She trusts you!' line is heartbreaking, I was basically watching that entire scene through my fingers because of how high the emotion was

Act Two:

'Pfizer's woman of the year' will in fact be peak comedy every time. Eleanor's delivery is *chef's kiss*

Gabe having just one line in 'Wish I Were Here', and that line being 'Wish I were here.' Yeah. I feel very normal about that.

Natalie's line of "Can I hide my stupid hunger, fake some confidence and cheer?" being pretty much exactly what Gabe has done throughout the entirety of act 1

"And you're not a scary rockstar anymore" got one of the biggest laughs at both of the shows I went to

Dan's desperation during 'Better Than Before.' He is simultaneously trying to cajole Diana into remembering and get Natalie to be more positive. This one song really highlights how he's being pulled in a million different directions while trying to hold it all together and Jamie portrays that so well

Aftershocks. Wow. The way the last word of each line echoes throughout the theatre is great sound design. I've been in exam halls louder than the audience during that song. Holding a room that captive as a silhouette is quite the feat Jack Wolfe you will always be famous

"I don't know where the fucking pieces go" as Diana pushes things off the table as if there's a real jigsaw there that she's rage quitting and choosing to give up on is such a nice detail

"Have you talked of your depression, your delusions and your son?" The gasp in the theatre both times was sickening

the response of "good' in reply to "name?" when technically that was part of his name as they are the "Goodmans". I don't really have a point here I just think it's neat

The 'It's Gonna Be Good" reprise was one of my favourite Dan/Diana moments. Caissie and Jamie are really pushing each other to their emotional limits and they handle it so well

The first "Why stay?" is so fragile as Diana sits against the kitchen island. Also interesting given that Dan and Gabe will also sit against there later when they are at their lowest point in the story. The idea of the characters crawling to the 'centre/heart' of the home when they are at their weakest

"This is one old game that I can play so well" is the line that has stuck the most with me throughout the show. Jack's delivery of it while striding across the kitchen table - seemingly totally invincible - is crazy.

how Caissie manages to deliver "you shrugged and said that no one really knows" with humour and desperation at the same time is amazing

When Gabe and Diana stand on the table and if they let go of one another they'll fall. yeahhhhh.....

Gabe's realisation that Diana isn't going to give up on getting better. Totally collapsing in on himself and beginning to cry. How you manage to feel bad for him after all the destruction he's caused is wild

Diana's "maybe I'm tired of the game" relating back to Gabe's "this is one old game that I can play so well"

the lyrics in 'Hey #3' clearly reflecting things Diana has done, Henry cutting Natalie off at "bleeding in the bathtub"

"I am the one who'll heal you" being said to Dan not Diana this time

"Why didn't you go with her?" is the most devastating line in the whole musical I said what I said. Jamie's delivery of it is heart wrenching

the drums and bass kicking in for the loud part of I Am The One as Gabe becomes desperate to be seen once again

Jack and Jamie's acting in this moment is so intense. there's a moment where it's genuinely feels as though only one of them can make it out of the interaction alive

Jack's emphasis on the word 'loved' in the line "I am the one who loved you" nearly killed me on the spot. how somebody can deliver a line so desperately while remaining pitch perfect is unfair

Natalie coming in to kiss Dan's head at the start of 'Light' like Gabe kisses Diana's in the first scene. I'm such a sucker for a gut punching

the "And are they real?" line about Diana's parent's from Henry gets such a loud reaction from the audience. Some people laugh immediately, some people clearly get shocked out of their sobs. so good

In conclusion, this is my favourite musical of all time and I'm going to be so annoying waiting for the pro-shot to come out

#next to normal #next to normal uk #next to normal west end #caissie levy #jamie parker #eleanor worthington cox #jack wolfe #trevor dion nicholas #jack ofrecio

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run-its-moon · 4 months ago

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A Song Once Forgotten - Chapter Two

Pairing: BTS (OT7) X Reader

Word Count: 4038

Genre/Themes: Dragon!AU, Shifter!AU, Pioneer themes, Powers, War, possible/Eventual smut

Warning's: 18+ for gore, minor swearing, possible smut, Character Death (not OT7), Animal death, Religion/history being rewritten, topics that relate to climate change, Eventual War, humanity is kind of Oppressed,

I didn't have anyone proof read or edit this so i apologize for this chapter.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

My hands Stiff and freezing from the cold, I let go of the reins, putting them under my thighs. A poor attempt to warm them, even my gloves struggled to retain the heat. Taking a moment to watch the snow fall from the sky, to pinpoint where the sun is now. The clouds moved faster than they did yesterday, the wind probably felt like needles above the trees. “The seasons are playing with my head, I swear I've never seen anything this bad before Adonis.” But my parents always told me to never trust the weather, especially closer to the mountains.

Slotting the reins between my hands again I push Adonis back into a trot. Picking up more pace while we travel northward towards a pond I visited a few times in my youth. The forest was near deadly quiet while we paced through the snow. Only the crunch of horse hoofs in the snow and the odd bird call from the branches. We’d been at it most of the day now, the sun even with it being difficult to see was starting to go below the mountains.

“One more Attempt couldn't hurt right?” Nodding to myself while I lead Adonis in the correct direction, taking a right beside the boulder I always passed, signalling only a little longer till we reach. The pond was just a little spot my father used to take me during the summer time for a short swimming trip. Mere moments later the trees parted and the pond in all its glory laid. Stretching out not very far, a single willow tree beside the pond.

Riding Adonis close to the pond, leaving a few feet between us and the pond then dismounting. ‘I know he's ground tied.. As long as I leave his reins around his neck he should stay close to here.’ I take the bridle off him, making sure I'm gentle as I remove the bit from his mouth.

Leaving the browband and crown of the bridle on the horn of the saddle. I give him a quick scratch under the chin, while I kick some snow away from the ground where we stood. “That's odd..” I duck down close to the ground. Taking a better look at the grass, it was still a light green, nothing like the brown it should be.

Shrugging my shoulders while I stood up, removing the bow from my shoulder while I made my way towards the tree line. “Stay there for a moment Adonis, I'll be right back.” I shout over my shoulder. I make sure to stray clear of the branches from the bushes. Some of the trees had ice coating the branches. The weather was acting severely off, we weren't even that close to the mountain range yet.

Further into the forest I went looking for a small opening around some bushes, once I found one with a look over a tiny valley to wait for some prey to hop through.

—

It felt like everything but a deer went through the small clearing, from birds, rabbits, even a particularly large rabbit went through the clearing. No sign’s of a deer.

Sighing while I stood to make my way back towards the pond, the snowy ground was a little easier to navigate through compared to the warm stretch. Taking almost no time at all to pad through the snow that was over my ankles. This morning when I left, the snow around the settlement wasn't this deep, only just covering the ground.

Up ahead Adonis was pawing at the ground, kicking up a bit of snow with his left hoof. His head lowered, eating some of the grass from the spot he just uncovered. Stepping out into the clearing, he must've heard me. Adonis looked up at me for a split second then continued to eat.

My cloak burst forward around my body, the wind propelling me forward into a stumble. Cloak caught in the wind, flying around to my right side, choking me in the process. Stumbling more while I attempted to walk towards Adonis. Pulling down on the front of the cloak, ignoring how the hood fell backwards. The branches above creak and shake with the wind. Bursting forward towards Adonis when he rears upwards, I Immediately run to grab hold of the reins around his neck. Cursing to myself subtle while I hold onto the reins the best I can.

Wingbeats so loud they cover the beating of my heart in my ears when I see it. I could feel the pounding of my heart, but the wingbeats above us cause the wind to only become more aggressive while I hold onto Adonis for dear life. Watching a black dragon pass above us, gracefully missing the tips of the tree’s while it cruises through the air. The entire clearing falls dark while it passes over us, blocking out the sun like an eclipse.

If I could compare this dragon to the sun. I could almost say they were the same size.

I hold onto the reins the best I can. The wind whips my cloak around trying to unroot me from my spot, holding onto the reins to ground both me and my horse. I watch as the beast of a dragon flies over us, its black scales finally releasing the sun. Taking the wind with it, my cloak slows down to a stop. Passing the bridle over Adonis' face as quickly as I can, barely sparing time in my panic to get it on properly.

I Mount the Buckskin in a rush, barely pulling myself fully over the saddle before we rush off. Adonis hardly paces himself at a gallop, obviously spooked from what was above us moments before. The cold laps at my face, my hands and my legs. Barely feeling anything at all as we gallop through the forest, narrowly missing tree roots, and rocks as we run.

‘We need to slow down, he's going to tire himself out. It's not safe out here.’ Leaning back in the saddle as I push my feet forward barely pulling on the reins. I shout out a quick woah, before we stop moving forward. I slam forward in the saddle leaning over his neck. ‘Fuck that was close.’ Sitting back properly in the saddle while he moves around under me, unsteady and scared. I lean forward slightly to pet his right shoulder. Keeping the reins firm in my left hand, gently reminding Adonis that we’re okay now.

We stand still for a few moments, allowing Adonis to steady his breath back to normal. I set him back off into a slow walk, the panic slowly ceasing to exist between us.

Barely able to see the sky through the trees yet I can tell the clouds are starting to dissipate. The snow slowed down as we walked, the near blizzard that was earlier, transforming into a light flurry.

‘The mountains can't be much farther from here, we’ve been going north this entire time.’ By the time the sun was starting to set behind one of the mountain’s, I spot a small cave entrance. ‘Perfect.’ Bear’s shouldn't be hibernating just yet because of how sudden the cold stretch came. But there was always a chance.

Stopping well before the entrance, dismounting slowly while I keep quiet in case a bear decided the cave was a good home. The snow reaches just below my knees, leaving me to pull my feet up a little higher than normal. ‘Thank the world I tucked my pant legs into my shoes.’

I make my way to the entrance of the cave, the faint sunlight only doing so much to show me what was inside. Nothing. Only the faint sound of the wind howling, no snoring or breathing came from within. “With the sunlight so dim I have no choice but to sleep here for the night.” It's better to risk the cave instead of the cold. Trudging through the snow back to Adonis to lead him close to the cave entrance. He can decide for himself if he wants to come with.

I hold onto his reins until we were just at the entrance of the cave, dropping the reins while I move around to unbridled him. Allowing him to do as he pleased, taking a deep breath before going into the cave. The clunk of his hooves confirming he follows behind me into the cave. Once my eyes adjust I look around more. The cave was a good size, similar to that of my own room. With no sign of a bear or anything else within the cave. I start pulling the saddle bags down. Setting them aside. Adonis chooses to stand near the entrance blocking the wind and light with his body.

I took the time to unsaddle him completely, setting the saddle on its back so it stood straight up without disrupting the build. The bags were left near the left side of the cave. After a while of shuffling through each of the bags I find a flint and steel petunia must have packed. Along with a blanket and bits of food.

I spend a few minutes looking for larger rocks to make a small circle away from Adonis. Along the way picking up some dried leaves and smaller branches for kindling. Setting the branches in a tent-like shape with the dried leaves in the middle. Taking the flint and steel together to create a few sparks. Chipping off small pieces of the flint as I go. ‘Maybe i'm not really that good at this sort of thing.’ Sighing to myself while I struggle with the fire.

Suddenly a small spark lights up the leaves. A smile graces my lips when I cover the right side of the pit with my cloak as the fire builds in strength. Staring down at the fire as I chew on the inside of my mouth. ‘I cant fucking believe Ty with that shit he pulled yesterday.’ Shooting a quick glance at Adonis then the bags of stuff near him. ‘He has no right to spew such nonsense at me. He's not my father.’ I bow my head back down behind the side of my cloak, I felt like eating up the warmth in front of me.

Maybe it was too cold to be doing this.

Shrugging my thoughts away, I crawl away from the fire to pull out some food and a blanket to sleep with. Sitting down beside the fire again once I gather what I want. I chew on some older deer jerky, peeling off the pieces that looked a little off. Pulling the blanket up to my chin while I ate, sleepy yawns lulled me to sleep along with the sound of the cracking from the fire.

Awaking with a jolt, gripping the ground under me, I sat up right. Alert and watch my surroundings of the cave. The fire was out, cold was sweeping into the cavern. Bursts of the wind steadily move Adonis' tail. I move around slowly to keep quiet, there's no telling what the darkness brings in the forest. Exposed and vulnerable to the elements.

Relaxing once I realize there was no immediate danger, stirring from my spot but then my ears barely pick up a noise. A tune so heavenly, barely audible over the blaring of the wind and snow. The melody felt like a tug at my soul, pressing my hand to the side of the cave as I teetered towards where I felt it was coming from. My hand glides across the rock as I move towards the back. A tunnel that wasn't there earlier loomed, the melody obviously coming from within.

Moving closer to the source like a trance as I stumbled towards the back of the cave, the tune so faint barely audible until I step into the tunnel. The humming became louder as I venture forth, the slight slope of the tunnel causing me to slow my steps to ensure I won't slip. My ears strain to pick up the melody.

The humming was comparable to a lyre I heard my mother play once, a tune that called me back to my childhood. Unable to stop my feet from treading down into the tunnel, unable to pause as I follow the noise.

Following the path downwards in what felt like an endless dark decline. The tune becomes louder the longer I continue.

A subtle light emerged with what I could only assume was the end. The tune was so loud now it was like someone was signing directly into my ears. Pausing for a brief moment, breathing in deeply before stepping around the corner.

A scream let loose from my throat.

In Front of me suspended high into the air strung like a doll across the cavern, wings stretch so far they touch one end of the cavern to the other. A dragon so strikingly beautiful to look at, the colouring was that of sun bleached stone. The humming stopped, a high pitched yelp nearly bursts my ear drums. I fell backwards, looking up at a dragon.

Its body was suspended in the air by chains high above a murky pool of water, hooks piercing through the wings, chains rounded the body, bruises covered it. It moves its neck downwards curving similar to that of a snake while I moved backwards, twisting like a deer ready to bolt. It leaned forward the best it could watching me through its eyes? The dragon had no pupils, the eyes just a dim white colour.

“A human? Why are you here.” Its jaw didn’t move while it spoke, the voice filled my head with the question. Somehow this beast was communicating with me. ‘Curse my elders for never telling me more.’ I felt frozen in my spot, my throat squeezing along with my head. “Little human, who are you?” The voice of the beast spoke with a tinge of aggression, although the overwhelming feeling of nerves made me truly unable to escape.

The fear released me from its hold when the beast moved its head backwards. “I mean no harm! I swear to the world that I'm by myself, no ill intent.” Gasping out, while I move backwards a few feet. “I heard singing, and- I just recognized the tune from somewhere, I don't know where.” Nearly mumbling out the last part.

The dragon let out an airy laugh, wheezing during some parts. It lifted its head upward and chortled. “My singing led you here? Your human ears lie to you, human." The dragon cocked its head to the side. Its pure white eyes felt like they stared into my soul for moments. Neither of us spoke, fear gripped at me again. I took a longer look at it at that moment. Hooks pierced the membrane in its wings. The feathers on its neck had a wilted look to them.

Upon a closer look its claws looked nearly brittle. But its eyes were a near shining white colour that showed a barely illuminated area around its face. Two horns poked up above the feather’s, also white. Down its thin face on the tip of its nose was a small third horn.

This dragon was not like the ones they tell stories about, in a colour I've never known them to be. Infront of me fucking talk to me while laughing about something I don’t understand. But it was a being, in pain from the look of dried blood and old cuts on its under belly.

Unsure of how to truly proceed with the situation thrown at me. “How long have you been here?”

The dragon snorted at me, a small puff of smoke coming up from its nose. “Longer than you have existed.” my limbs felt frozen again. ‘How long do dragons live?’ But there is no time for questions.

“I won’t harm you human,” Pulling myself together, I make eye contact with the dragon. I have no weapons on me, I have no way to defend myself if this beast decides I am to be its prey.

“How can I trust you?” I gesture around the room, to the chains holding it up. “You could change your mind in an instant, decide to eat me.” the dragon chortles, its body shakes making the chains rattle.

“Oh are you ever amusing? I cannot reach you from here. But you do have my word, I will not harm you, ever.” A shutter runs through the room after it finishes talking. Like the room was charged with something anew.

“Why are you here? Why chained up! And those chains are black!” the dragon huffed, loud and filling the room.

“If you help me, I’ll answer your questions. But only after I am freed.” Turning slowly around the expanse of the cave, lever’s were periodically placed around the sides of the cave. Each lever was placed where it aligned with a chain that was holding up the dragon.

“The lever’s? I just pull them down.. and you'll be free?” I take a quick glance at the dragon behind me. ‘Maybe I shouldn't turn my back to it?’

“Yes, from what I remember.”

Nodding at the dragon before I turn on my heels, making my way towards the closest lever. Taking a deep breath while glancing back at the grey dragon hanging there.

Shuffling in my spot while I turned back around. I wipe non existent sweat off my hands before gripping onto the lever and pulling downwards. Nothing. ‘Okay.. that's weird.’ Again, nothing. This time I pulled the lever upwards a little, hearing a small click before pulling it down. Chains moved, spinning around quickly to see the chains around its right front arm release.

“So.. Do you mind telling me why you're here?” My subtle attempt at small talk was met with a huff.

“I was trapped here. I might tell you more after you get me out of these chains.” its voice had become lighter, less broken. Another small glance at it while I moved towards the next lever.

“Okay.. what about your name.” I ask just before pulling the next lever up then down. I watch as one of the hooks locked into its right wing releases his wing from the position it was in.

“I suppose..” The dragon turns its head, making direct eye contact with me. A small puff of smoke comes up from its nostrils, its eyes squint a little while it lowers its head. “My name is Seokjin. That's all you're getting.” so it, was a he.

Just as I was about to pull down the next lever, I paused. “Nice to meet you Seokjin, my name’s y/n.” I said while making direct eye contact with him before pulling the lever downwards. Releasing his body. Two levers left.

After I pulled the last lever Seokjin had immediately dropped to the ground. No longer strong enough to hold himself upwards. He fell into the pond that was underneath him, his body creating a splash so large it soaks my clothes. I wait with a baited breath for him to crawl out. For the dragon to burst through the now calming water and eat me where I stand. Yet there is nothing. Nothing in those few moments while I wait.

I shot forward, reaching the pond in seconds. I look down, barely visible in the water is not a dragon, but the barely visible figure of a man falling deeper into the water. My body works before my mind processes. Taking off a layer of my clothes, I dive into the water head first. Swimming until I reach the man and yank him upwards by his shoulders.

Struggling to lift his heavy body, my lungs feel as though they are being crushed from the depth. I link my elbows under his shoulders, lifting him closer to me as I kick, and struggle. Nearly letting out a gasp, the lights from the top of the water feel so far away.

Suddenly I’m pushing his body onto the side of the pond without thinking. Shaking the man awake as I gasp feeling the burn of air hitting my lungs. My ear’s subtly ring as I stare down at the man. Worry begins to strike me, before I know what's happening Seokjin is sitting up coughing water out of his nose and mouth. Slowly I remove my hands from his form and bring them down to my lap.

“You can shape shift?” a small whisper escapes my lips, a quick glance at the white haired man beside me nearly has me gasping. I scoot away from him, feet still in the water cause a slight ripple. He was drop dead Gorgeous, Plush lips, a knife like jawline. Stark white hair glisten under the low light’s of the cave. ‘I wonder what he looks like under sunlight..’ My thoughts trail off. Not noticing him staring right back at me.

He hisses in pain, Shooting my gaze to where he's hovering a hand near his ribcage. He's bruised, large purple and blue peppling the surface of his skin. He moves to sit upwards. His eyebrows furrow when I touch his back lightly. “Yes some of us can shapeshift but it’s not very common any more.” I furrow my brows at his statement. More questions come to mind but I stay quiet. Moving out and away from the water to see his back.

I gasp, his back has straight cuts going from the top of his shoulders to his lower back. “I need to bandage this.” He nods lightly, I hold onto his shoulder as he leans forward. Hand cupping his left side, bent over in pain. I can't see his face but I could almost feel his pain, from simply looking at him. “I'll bring you with me, It'll be best if we leave soon. You need to be bandaged, and preferably a healer.” Seokjin whips around quickly grabbing my wrist. Our eyes lock onto each other. His pupils shake slightly while we stare at each other.

“No, they'll go away soon. No healer.” He shakes his head again, breaking our eye contact. “I’ll come with you, I still need to answer your questions.” I nearly jump away when Seokjin pulls himself up, hisses of pain come from him until I help him fully stand.

Seokjin Leans some of his weight against me when he stands fully. Luckily he had a pair of slacks on, Glancing quickly towards my cloak. ‘I should give him that.’ Ducking down to grab the cloak Seokjin trailing his hand near my side. I gesture with the cloak to wear it. A simple nod is all I need before I’m wrapping his body with it.

“We need to get going.” His voice seemed to drop an octave, I spared him a look to see a near dark shadow on his face. “What locked me up there will be back. Even sooner when they realize I'm gone.” shifting between my feet while I nod. My throat nursed a lump when I look towards the hanging chains above us. “I cannot defend us yet when they come looking.” my mouth clamped up. ‘What did I just get myself into..’

I move away from Seokjin for a moment to put on the clothes I was wearing prior to diving into the water. He teeters in his spot, balance unstable as he stands. “I was riding a horse, he should be able to carry us both. I don't know if he can go past a trot though.” He nods again before we meet eyes again.

“I shall do my best to ensure we get there sooner then y/n.” He states almost like a promise with a smile on his face.

-------

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dykedvonte · 8 months ago

Note

What do you think might have happened, if Curly wasn't disabled in the crash? Or, at lest, not as badly hurt? What would the crew dynamic be like in this case?

-💀

If Curly was still able to be an active Captain? Things would be a lot better but still very uncomfortable.

Curly sort of acted like the glue for the crew. No matter what people say, a big reason that everyone played nice was due to his presence, no one other than Jimmy really went out of their way to undermine that. I think the biggest difference is how he's holding them together. He's not unstable per say, but he's so single minded now. If a problem arisses he won't rest until it's "fixed" to an objective extent. He's trying to get them home, likely obssessively staying in the cockpit trying to figure out if he can reach headquarters or get a signal when not obssessing over other minor issues.

Daisuke gets honest about his fear a lot faster. I feel it's both directly related to how much Curly has changed but also realizing he can't see the bright side of every aspect in this situation. I mean, seeing as Curly is active, he now knows what Jimmy did and tried to do and realized just how bad things can get. The situation has always been serious to him but now it's so much harder to find any light anywhere. Gets in on Swansea’s drinking habits heavier and it’s the only thing keeping him from completely breaking in a sad way. Sad jester vibes but starts to take more charge and get into his work. Swansea doesn’t like how similar they are getting.

Swansea wouldn't drink as much. I think they still break into the supply but it's only because he hopes something there will help. Swansea has almost no hope of being rescued so why die as a good man? I think with Curly around he's not as bitter or cynical but more snippy, mad that Curly’s trying to keep procedure and a sense of normalcy. It’s appreciated in the same way you like when someone is nagging you.

Anya is relieved in a hollow sense of the word. Curly is doing more aware and hyper focused on action protecting the crew and finding solutions… but where is the satisfaction in it taking this? She’s sees all his problems and issues and is both disappointed and a bit concerned. Everyone missed his signs and it’s a bit frightening how stressed he was to be leading them. She’s more open to saying her ideas, louder and looks for solutions rather than be shut down. She is still terrified about the baby, it’s always there in her mind now that it isn’t just avoiding Jimmy’s ire. She’s wants to get rescued and is always looking for ways to get out mainly because she doesn’t want to die with her doctorate but also she wants the normalcy. This won’t be her last moment.

Jimmy. Think he’s dead but that’s a cop out. He’s a coward and unless he got stuck in he’s still gonna be crashing out in that hallway. They lock him up and the only reason he’s still not dead is the agreement he deserves to face legal repercussions and his life actually be ruined. He’s quiet and fuming and still trying to ask for one last chance from Curly. They go way back. Their only friends. You know me… He’s in a similar state like towards the end of the game. Unhinged, desperate, to self absorbed to see it’s over. He’s only somewhat civil to Curly and tries his damnedest to get into his head and spit venom.

I honestly think things go smoother, tensions are lowered but so many more interpersonal and personal demons come to the light. We never get to explore the other characters with Jimmy because he doesn’t care but with Curly? It’s gonna be e like a trauma dumping circle.

#ask #💀 anon #I’m sorry it took so long to answer this I basically started writing a fic about this so yeah I should actually update those soon but I’ve #been so fucking busy it’s hard just to sit and write #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #captain curly #nurse anya #curly mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year ago

Text

Costume Meta 7x05

Hello, Hey, how we all doing??

Ready for another super long meta post??

There is so much to talk about this week - admittedly mostly Buck and Eddie related, but there is also plenty going on for Hen and Karen as well.

No Bobby this week as we only see him in uniform, and only the one costume for Athena as well. I also want to say that I am not doing any of the costumes from the Madney wedding that we saw at the end of the epsiode - I want to give them the space they deserve and I will probably write a separate pre episode meta for those costumes specifically! All I will say is Maddie looks stunning, Buck in white - hello! and Eddie in a just a collar making him look like a pink priest - hilarious!

The rest is under the cut as always 😎

Let's start with some of the guest characters.

Alien Hand syndrome man continues to prove the check means bad things theme, which makes me happier than you can ever know!!

Then we have Deidra in her very bright pink coat. If you read my promo meta for this episode you will have read a fairly sizeable section at the end on my thinking about the use of pink in this season (going to make a separate post during this hiatus so its all in one place). All of the times we see it in this episode, play into (and I guess prove) my thinking. Deidra is acting with good intentions and while I don't think she's naive or innocent in the strictest sense of the word, she is perhaps continually being naive in thinking that not revealing Mara's past is the right way to go (don't come at me about child protection etc I am fully aware of what the real world laws state, but this story arc really highlights the fact that in trying to protect children who are at risk and in the system, they can also cause ongoing harm if things are not taken on a case by case basis - its a whole other essay that I am not getting into here).

Then we have Mara herself who is never without pink - namely her pink blanket. The pink plays into the theme of innocence especially with Mara and while she may not be innocent of the act of maiming Denny, her innocence goes much deeper. Its meant as a very clear signpost of the innocence of childhood - that pink blanket and her clinging onto it is a symbol of her clinging onto her childhood, despite the fact that she has gone through a terrible loss and trauma. she is still a child and the show is clearly going to play into the idea that as she settles into the Wilson home and is able to work through the trauma, her need to cling onto her childhood in this way will diminish and we'll see her slowly become less attached to the blanket. We already have signs of progress with the colour journey her tops have been on - lavender, pink and then the turquoise one at the end. Lavender is also a colour associated with childishness or lethargy, pink the colour of innocence, and childhood. While turquoise is a colour of calmness and clarity. its signalling HenRen's breakthrough with Mara and that she's growing and beginning to feel secure.

Hen and Karen

Hen and Karen go on a real colour journey this week - I'm doing them together (along with Denny) because they very much work in tandem clothing wise (and also because I was running out of pictures again - whats new there!)

So first up we have Karen in this beautiful dip dye ombre dress in purple, pink and mauve. it also has this drip staining pattern which has deliberately been created during the dying process. The lavender at the top of the dress is representative of hope and serenity, this is Karen in a great place - about to expand her family and fulfil a dream. The pink as I've said is all about innocence and naivety - more innocence in this case - both the new baby being innocent and Hen and Karens innocent hopes for their future. The dark mauve at the bottom of the skirt - eating into the pink is such a choice - gathering storm clouds, foreshadowing the turmoil about to come - taking away the innocent hope. mauve can be standoffish and withdrawn, and in this context those are great descriptors for Mara and her struggles that Hen and Karen will need to help her work through.

Hen's in cyan blue trousers - which is a colour associated with clarity and balance. whilst the cream, black and blue jacket with stars on is the beginning point for a theme that runs through the Wilsons arc this week - black is a power colour, associated with many things, but for Hen and Karen in this arc it is very much about protection and strength. Here for hen it is mostly about protection - protecting this new baby they are about to take in. The cream is warmth and tranquility.

Hen is wearing check - foreshadowing the upcoming struggles with Mara. Karens bronze and black Jacquard trousers are a symbol of strength - bronze as a colour means strength and support, it's also a symbol of faithfulness. It's telling us that Karen will take the lead on supporting Mara and being strong for her.

We see a lot of white on Karen in this episode, white, like pink is a colour of innocence, but it is more associated with purity and balance. It is also a colour of neutral refelction. By this I mean that it amplifies other colours by providing a neutral background - allowing other colours to shine. I find this a really interesting thing when connected with Karen - it amplifies her strength and supportive nature when the Wilsons meet Mara.

Hen adn Karen in bed are in dusty versions of blue and pink - Karen innocently tries to touch Mara and that is when the screaming starts. Putting Hen in blue is about relaying her trustworthiness and sets her up as a soothing and calming presence for Mara - hence the sleeping on the floor of her room!

At the hospital, We see Denny in red - he was wearing it when Mara woke the house up and its an indicator of what is about to befall them (in the same way Bobbys red in the cruise ship disaster adn Athenas red in relation to Harry, or Bucks back in s5 when Eddie broke down).

We again have Karen in white amplifying the other colour she is wearing, which in this instance is this buff/brown oversized sleeveless coat in teddy fleece. The brown is stability, dependability and responsibility - playing into the fact this episode really highlights Karen's position in the family as this stable rock which Hen and Denny lean on when they need support. Karen's unswerving and solid personality is once more being shown off. Its really a key thing for them to show as it feels like a set up for Mara and how she is going to bond and rely on Karen and that dependability as she unpacks her trauma.

The orange jumper is a really interesting choice. I do love the loose threads on the design of it - paying into the idea that Hen and Karen are at a loose end and unsure what to do going forward. But, the orange itself is generally an open minded colour, its energetic and its also a colour of transformation. These are all things we know are true of Hen and Karen and it hints at the fact that they will fin a way forward. Once again we have Karen in white amplifying Hen's orange and the energy and idea of transformation the colour brings.

Denim jacket and white tee. I love the distressed nature of this denim jacket and the way it plays into both scenes we see it in - playing into the distress Hen feels over finding out what Mara has gone through and how it explains why she has become non verbal and incredibly protective over her pink blanket.

Again the white of amplification and purity. Hen has pure intentions and the white amplifies Karens black when they are at dispatch listening to the 911 call.

We also have the Karen necklace back - once more showing this ism't about Hen - its about Karen and their family.

Black on Karen for this scene is such a choice. Black is a power colour, it means strength and protection. Here it is showing Karens determination, as she gains understanding, to protect Mara and support her through her trauma - it is representative of Karen choosing to use the power she has been given through gaining information. The gold highlights hint at success.

I love these lavender pyjamas on Karen - lavender is a soothing and sleep inducing colour (along with its scent which is possibly where the association came from for the colour) along with a Japanese print of mountains and trees, which plays into the idea of serenity and peacefulness.

Hen in contrast is wearing fairly bright and bold black and green. The green is all about that growth and learning once more, the growth of Hen and Karen, learning more about the issues Mara faces and seeking a solution, but also the growth of their family. The black is a reflection of power - much in the same way Karen wearing black when they heard the 911 call Mara made, here it is Hen, representing the protection that Hen and Karen are offering Mara.

Athena in green - again with the mesh open weave knit - this may be a theme for her this season - potentially something to do with feeling caged or caging someone/something - especially children as both scenes we've seen it so far have been to do with young people and the law in some respect - ending up in the system - Harry through is crime and Mara through her parents death.

Chim

This dark bottle green with a fawn brown (what I think is a polo) shirt underneath is Chimneys only non uniform costume this week . This kind of dark green, is as always a signal of growth, but its also a colour of harmony, and right now - everything in Chim's world is harmonious.

Maddie

I don't thinkI've said it yet, but I am so happy to have Alayna back dressing Jennifer - I feel like we're really back on track with Maddie's costuming after last season where they somehow managed to make Maddie look terrible. The costuming overall last year was fine - not as good as Alayna's work, but it was for the most part good - except for Maddie where it was all over the place!

Anyway - Maddie in black here is very much about focussing the attention on Hen and Karen - like with CHimney's muted green, in tandem they are making the viewers eye focus on Hen and Karen - especially Karen - who is the brightest in the room.

Maddie wearing this sage green colour when Buck comes out to her is sheer perfection from my perspective - we, once more have the green of growth and renewal, the green of learning - Maddie learning more about her brother - this new thing that he is realising about himself and choosing to share with her (even if inadvertently). But this green is also sage green - sage as in the play on sage advice - which we see Maddie give him. Buck needs that good advice - he needs to hear that its ok, that he can take the time to figure himself out and that its ok that he's only just uncovered this aspect of himself and that it doesn't invalidate him being an ally up to this point!

Ok not going to lie - I got a little carried away from here on out - so sorry in advance for the rambling mess you're about to read!

Marisol

I'm doing Marisol in a weird order - because I wanted to talk about her date night outfit in tandem with Eddies - because its relevant. So we start of with virgin Mary Marisol! Honestly this outfit is just perfection from the costume department - they saw the brief and went to town and I love it. Its so good to see what they can do when they get to play!

One of the things I really love about this costume is the blue that they chose. Because that blue - that is Bucks blue! the virgin Mary blue is usually a much brighter royal blue. It really helps to place Marisol in parallel to Buck and we get the play on t he fact that Eddie seeing Marisol in this way changes everything for him, whilst later on, whilst Buck is in the same blue, he reassures him that nothing will change between them.

Look, I'm not going to lie, when I saw Marisol in blue and yellow for this scene I laughed because Blue and yellow (as I've gone on a million times about) means queer coding so to blatantly put Marisol in it - in a washed out form, and very much connecting her to Catholicism - genius move. It marks her out as a roadblock, but also puts her into the role of beard (unknowingly on her part) because Eddie is still in the midst of his repression, even if it is beginning to unravel now.

The black top with spaghetti straps is clearly a theme they're going with on Marisol, as are the ditsy prints. The yellow high waisted trousers are interesting because of the specific shade of yellow. Yes the whole communication theme still applies here -and we see it in action, but this shade of yellow is sallow and sickly (one of the reasons its called sickly yellow is because its the colour of a lot of medications!!) - this relationship and its restart are ill and that automatically means its going to struggle to survive.

It plays into the more negative meanings around the colour - uncertainty and idleness and cowardice. For me the cowardice aspect is an interesting one in relation to Eddie - he has behaved cowardly up to this point - hiding out and not having the conversations that need to be had, and even in this scene it is Marisol who takes the lead.

It's really giving us an indication of things Eddie needs to work on in regards to himself - and once more it comes down to communication. Communication has always been Eddies major flaw - that he isn't good at it, unless really really pushed into it - essentially under duress. The other thing with communication is that it plays really well into the catholic guilt aspect - this idea that growing up catholic has taught him to repress part of who he is - to go along with what is expected of him, but that it also taught him not to ask for what he needs, to not communicate. We see it in this episode with his inability to say no to Marisol (the whole hiding out at Bucks so he doesn't have to have sex speaks volumes) even down to suggesting there's a third type of guy - who just needs a minute. Because, while that might be true to a certain extent, the fact that he says this off the back of her expressing her distress and upset about how all guys are one of two things, speaks volumes - its not him saying this because that's how he actually feels, its partly him saying it because he is pushed into a position where he doesn't want to be the bad guy. its really not a good place to be restarting a relationship from.

We also have the ditsy print of doom in play again - like I've said before, ditsy print on Eddies girlfriends - never a good sign - its really playing into this idea of Eddie jumping in headfirst with gay abandon (pun intended) and then regretting his life choices. Shannon wore ditsy print a fair amount - especially in the I think I'm pregnant' and 'we should get a divorce' scenes. Ana wore ditsy print A LOT - she was wearing it when Eddie had his panic attack in the shop and at other key moments that marked the death knell for their relationship. And so this appearance of ditsy print here marks the same - the relationship is not long for this world

OK date night Marisol. The way this outfit played out more or less as I expected, She was very much an 'innocent' bystander in this scene (whilst also creating one corner of a triangle with Buck and Eddie) , and the ditsy print very much played into this. Like I said in my promo meta, both Shannon and Ana were costumed in ditsy print as well as in lots of pink!!!

The other aspect of this outfit that is making me laugh is the fact that the skirt is giving me 1980's/early 1990's teen vibes (not to out myself as old but trust me I had some just like this back then and I wouldn't be caught dead in it now as a grown woman!!) and the baby pink handbag looks like something an 8 year old would have to play dress up with - its all very childish and immature - naive one could say, and while it didn't play out quite how I was expecting, her being a novice nun, sure explains a lot of why she comes over as pretty immature.

The other aspect of this childish style we're seeing on her plays into Eddies narrative of looking for magic and trying to recreate what he had with Shannon. He's attracted to Marisol because she is immature and childish - it reminds him of what he had with Shannon when he was young, and when you're trying to recapture that, its easy to fall into the trap of thinking someone behaving in a naive manner is you finding what you'd been looking for. Eddies journey, along side his catholic guilt, is about learning that he cannot recapture or recreate that magic he had when he was young - that the love of youth - in all its innocence is not something that is sustainable or actually what he wants in the present.

Then we have Eddie in white. I spoke in the promo meta about how the white set him and Marisol as opposites and that remains true - very true on more than one level. What I especially love about it and something I could not have predicted is how it plays into the novice nun aspect of their story this episode - truly this show is a comedy! Because nuns wear black and white this is an obvious play on that, but it is also a play on the fact that Marisol is still a practicing catholic, whilst Eddie is very much not. The other aspect of this white is that of Eddies two non uniform costumes, it is the first one and we get this black and white play on religion - the black and white of nuns and priests - the black and white of being religious or not. Eddie never questions if he wants to become a practicing catholic again - he is lapsed and that is how he intends to stay.

Eddie in uniform, with his green trainers, blue towel and water bottle. the blue towel and bottle play into the buck and Eddie blue green theming we see with them. But what is interesting is though is that Eddie is fulfilling all the colour theming on his own - he is both blue and green - to me this is about Eddies own struggles within himself as well as foreshadowing the Eddie Marisol break up down the line (green shoes suggest a road needs to be to walked before we get there) - it hints at Eddies internal struggles and implies that its will ultimately end in a break up a bit further down the line.

I also think it's only when in Uniform that Eddie can admit to his catholic guilt. Because we all know when Eddie is struggling with some form of emotional turmoil, he wears a black singlet - and he could've been wearing the same here, it would've been totally fitting with the situation - he is going through something emotionally and struggling with it.

But he's in his uniform. Part of it is to have him on a different level to Buck - they are both struggling with something in this scene. When we have previously had Buck and Eddie scenes like this one at work, the one dressed in uniform, tends to be the one offering advice to the one not in uniform. That isn't the case here. Part of it comes back to Buck not actually needing advice, but needing to reveal something about himself - to confess. Eddie is the one who needs advice.

This is a flipping of the traditional narrative for these scenes and is proof that even though Eddie might later tell Buck that nothing is going to change between them, that it has in fact already changed, it is just that neither of them are fully cognisant of that change at this moment in time. It is a key indicator to use the audience that this has happened before but that things are not going to play out the same way this time.

Put it this way - Eddie has form for doing something extreme with his relationships with women in the aftermath of Buck doing something dumb - its one of the manifestations of his repression. This time its asking Marisol to move in with him in the immediate aftermath of Buck going full green monster over Tommy.

Last time it was in the aftermath of Buck begins and then doubling down with Ana after the shooting when Buck had hooked up with Taylor and before that in the aftermath of Shannon's death and Buck suing the department he went and joined a fight club - but he has form. Its completely in character for him to pull this sort of a move. I know he says he's going with his gut but I argue he is in fact ignoring his gut - or at the very least confused about what his gut is telling him, because that would mean actually looking at why his gut reaction to Buck doing something dumb makes him do something dumb in turn connected to these women in his life.

Eddie in black - this is the same shirt as the white one - just the reverse colour - which is important. This shirt has several layered meanings to it. its about the reversal of what Eddie wants - from him being bubbly and excited about Marisol moving in, to the dread of her having moved in and wanting her to move out - his feelings go from white to black - light to dark - happy to unhappy and it all sums up the relaity of that relationship - while it was new and unserious, it was fun and light, when things got real - it becomes dark and oppressive.

I'll go into more detail about this shirt when I get to Bucks costume for this scene - because they are connected!

The other thing about this outfit is that the green trousers have been replaced with jeans. Now I see a couple of reasons for the wardrobe department doing this. Firstly is that it plays into the 'nothings is going to change between us' of it all. Its a visual indicator that in fact things have changed (along with Buck wearing a brighter shirt than we normally get in these buddie heart to hearts that take place in Bucks loft but more on that later) the Buck being bi and going on a date with Tommy of it all aside, this is the first time we've actively seen Eddie hiding out at Bucks to avoid his girlfriend - this was a barrier that had existed between them previously that has now been broken down. Then there is the fact that Eddie does go home to Marisol - and he couldn't be wearing green at that point because she was wearing blue and Eddie in green would've meant break up time - only the Marisol as a plot device arc isn't yet over (it will be soon I promise - all the costume signs are there!) so that couldn't happen.

Tommy

This dark olive green shirt that is almost brown. The brown undertones hint at the stability he represents while the green is hinting at his military past and once more paralleling him with Eddie. One of the things about green as a colour is that its not only a symbol of growth and renewal, but its also a colour of learning, and in an episode titled 'You don't know me' it feels like all the green is very much about education - learning about other people - and the growth that results from it. It feels especially important here for Tommy and Buck - that is after all what going on a date it all about - learning about one another and seeing if you're compatible.

The other fun thing about this green shirt is though that the green plays into the blue green colour theory when it comes to Buck and Eddie and their partners and the end of relationships. This one before its had chance to begin.

For Coffee we have a grey Henley and a blue zip front hoodie with a grey striped undertone to it (I am pretty sure this is actually a hoodie we've seen on Chimney but I can't remember when and I don't think it would be the very same one as pretty sure Lou would not be fitting into Kenneths clothes ever, but Chimney has definelty worn the same style!!). Again Henley's are an Eddie thing, so we once more have the parallel with Eddie being drawn.

The interesting thing here is that the grey blue is the same colour combo Buck wore on their first date attempt - the costume department played a lot with flipping colour in this episode, so to have it done here as well is really fun - the fact there is more grey than blue is also interesting. It's a neutral colour, it is seen as a colour of stability, but is also a colour of uncertainty. It really plays into that theme of uncertainty running through the Buck and Tommy arc. The blue hoodie is actually pretty important because we've had one of Buck and Tommy wearing something dark blue in every scene they've had together - usually the one on the back foot. Tommy in this scene is relatively neutral in terms of position for most of this scene - they are equals - but he is put onto the back foot by Buck asking him to be his date to Maddie and Chim's wedding.

Buck

Where to start with our beloved bi disaster!

I obviously spoke a fair amount about the date night shirt in my promo meta. The navy blue knit bowling shirt with these silver/grey close together pinstripes running down the front playing into the Buck wearing vertical stripes theme we've has running with him for at least the last 2 seasons.

What I said about false starts and this date absolutely played out - in the same way the sperm donation shirt represented a false start on that donation, this shirt also represents a false start on Bucks dating life as a bi man. The white trainers are also carrying on the theme of Bucks Journey towards happiness

What I find most interesting about this outfit though isn't colour theory related. its all about the fit of the clothes. Because these are ill fitting on Buck - not something we see from him very often - in fact I think the only time we see him in anything close to ill fitting to this extent is back in season 1 when he was figuring out who he was and if being a firefighter was the right for him and exploring relationships and what he was trying to find in that arena. The trousers are the most ill fitting of it all, but I'll come to the trousers later on as they are part o a wider Buck costume theme we have going on!

The shirt is a little roomie, but not overly so, it just stands out more because we're so used to his shirts fighting for their life, here this one is baggy and really helps to sell the idea of defeat, but also that h was trying on this new part of himself for size and that it doesn't quite fit. It's the only time this episode we see his clothes not fit him in this way and its a really small but expressive part of costuming that I love to see.

Then we have this blue broadcloth jacket over a white tee and with these plum/brown coloured trousers - they're a bit blink and you'll miss them so its hard to be sure what type of trouser they are, but I think they are essentially smart joggers - jersey material but trousers!

We all know that Buck in white means trouble, I'm putting him outing himself to his sister as the bad thing - along with the fact that the date didn't work out.

I'm really fascinated by the fact that we really seem to be leaning into navy blue and Buck being bi. Navy has always been a colour we've seen a lot of on Buck in general, but there is something about the fact we've seen him (or Tommy) wearing it in every single scene that is about his bisexuality. I'm talking from the kiss scene onwards, not anything before that as Buck wasn't aware of his bisexuality before the kiss. I can't wait to see if it continues!

The green shirt jacket is an interesting one. it obviously helps to play into the buck and Eddie blue green theory, but it does in a smaller way play into the blue green theming we see around Buck and Eddie and their relationships - specifically around issues arising. Both Buck and Eddie wear green when they break up with their significant others and while there is no break up here, there is a break of sorts. This was Buck about to try and tell his Best friend that he was actually out on a date with Tommy and that he's bi

symbol of growth - Buck went in with a goal - to tell Eddie he was on a date with Tommy, but changed tack when he saw Eddie needed to go through something - this is Buck growing as a person - not making something about him.

The other thing about this outfit is that its basically the same as the one Eddie wore at the airfield (even down to the badding of the trousers) - just in reverse - Eddie black trousers, black jacket, green top, and here Buck is black trousers, black top and green jacket - I find this fascinating as a metaphor for where the two of them are on their respective journeys.

Buck is now bi and out (he's told his sister) and has been on a date with a guy (regardless how successful it was - he cannot put it back into the box) - his growth is externalised and therefore expressed through the wearing of a green jacket. We get a lot of storytelling through the various Jackets Buck wears (we've seen him in over 35 at this point!)

While Eddie - who we could say was being taken on a date by Tommy - even if he didn't know it (because who flies someone to Vegas to a sold out fight if its not a date??) wearing a much brighter green that we've seen on him before now (pretty much all of his greens are more army green with a couple of exceptions - much darker greens akin to Bucks jacket in the below picture) - still in the army green wheelhouse, but much bolder. Eddie's queer status is still very much internalised - hence it being underneath the black jacket.

Buck coming out to Eddie from a costume perspective was a glorious parallel that I have already mentioned in the promo meta (I've run out of pictures so you'll have to go watch the scene yourself if you want to see what I mean). Its actually a bit deeper that I appreciated in that promo meta, but that is in part because at the time of writing the meta I wasn't 100% sure it was a coming out scene and I didn't get to see the way it was shot and how that also played into the paralleling.

Costume wise - I already spoke above about Eddies black shirt and how it is reversing him in the episode. But what I didn't mention is that fact that it parallels in colour terms, what he was wearing when Buck informed the firefam that Connor and Kameron were pregnant. Eddie wore a black marl henley - black with flecks of dark grey running through it, and Buck here is wearing a slightly darker blue version of the same top he wore in that same scene. He is standing in the same place at the counter of his kitchen, or sitting very close to the same position and we get similar camera angles. As a whole the parallel is very loud - Buck was happy and proud of something he had done and wanted to share it with his friends - wanted their approval. He was feeling good about himself and confident in his decision.

The biggest thing about the blue - this shade specifically is the way it play into the blue theme we saw last season with Buck - the theme that started in the 5x18 finale at Hen and Karens vow renewal, when he was free of Taylor and moving forward and essentially restarting his search for happiness. We saw it weave a thread through the entirety of season 6, being worn at key moments that played into that theme - after Lev died, at various points in the sperm donation arc, and a key points in the aftermath of his death and rebirth.

The successfully helping create life aspect of this is so interesting. It on a low key level plays into the you don’t find it you make it manifesto that’s been at the heart of bucks arc since s2. the whole year if yes was supposed to be about this very thing - about Buck creating the life he wants for himself - the sperm donation isn’t about the baby it’s about Buck and about him figuring out what he’s missing (which comes back to not only Thomas and Mitchell, but also Lev).

The other thing that ties into this theme is that Eddie isn't really changing but Buck is. Whenever we have a scene at the loft between Buck and Eddie Bucks costume and colour varies, but Eddies stays more or less the same. Bucks colour Palette for these scenes goes - dark grey in the you want to go for the title scene, then we have the grey blue on the balcony and now this much lighter blue. This is highlighting Bucks progression while Eddie who remains in his black shirt and that progression - while Eddie essentially remains steadfast - is key - it’s showing us that while buck is still doing dumb things, he is learning - he is listening to whatever Eddie is telling him - that he’s accepting Eddie’s absolution of his sins more and more - growing and understanding.

It’s building on his long running arc - his fear of being left behind, of not being important enough for people to stick around for - and showing us he’s increasingly understanding that that fear is unfounded - that he’s found his personal- the one who will stay and who is steadfast in that. That’s why we see Eddie unchanging in his black shirt green cargos while buck gets lighter - more unburdened by that fear.

Before you think all is lost on the Eddie front though, we are seeing change - the army green trousers are gone and have been replaced with jeans - perhaps, in the same way Bucks growth into his bisexuality began with his beginning to wear jeans again, Eddies own growth into his own queer identity also begins with jeans - moving him away from Eddie the soldier - fighting for others - being a rock for others and now into a position where he can do his own growing.

In the sperm donation arc, Buck was finally able to donate and was wearing that super pale mint green polo. we don't see the same with the outcome here at this point in the story (although the beige/mint green jacket from the bachelor party is making me👀👀👀 at this moment in time!) - we get this cream open weave linen shirt with black and terracotta and golden brown vertical stripes.

I love that they went with a shirt that has such an open weave - playing into the whole concept of Buck being open and embracing this newly revealed part of him that he's discovered. But what I love most about this shirt is the way it ties back into the Buck learning to accept himself and find his happiness.

Because this shirt is so similar to the one from 6x01 - when he decides he doesn't need a new couch, what he needs is to be ok on his own and with himself.

lets talk Buck and his trousers because the trousers are a whole thing this season and I am truly in love with the long game the wardrobe department have been playing on this one. They know that we have all been out here raising eyebrows at Bucks trousers for the past few seasons as they've gotten shorter and shorter and ill fitting. I know I've made comments in previous costume metas about the fact they must be doing something intentional with them being so short in the leg - that them doing this is giving the appearance of a child who is still in short trousers and isn't fully grown - hasn't moved on to wearing full length trousers yet.

Well it would seem I was right and thats exactly what they were doing, putting him in short trousers to show that he wasn't his fully formed self - that he was growing and learning and figuring things out. because - I've gone back through my spreadsheet and checked his trousers out for all of his scenes and there are only a handful where he has trousers on that are well fitted and the correct length. One of them is at the start of season 6 - at the end of the episode where he moves his armchair instead of getting a new couch - the one time in season 6 we see him most at peace with himself

I remarked in the 7x04 meta that we only saw Buck in his too short trousers in the one scene at the airfield, and from then on, he was was in jeans. Now the jeans are a mimicking thing - Buck hasn't worn stone wash jeans since Eddie appeared on the scene back at the start of season 2, so for him to start wearing them again as soon as he becomes jealous of Eddie and Tommy - and Tommy is wearing jeans - was pretty telling in its own right. It's Buck trying to get Eddies attention (not Tommys - Eddies) because, we do not see Eddie in jeans in 7x04 - but we do see Tommy in them - and in Bucks head he is loosing Eddies attention to a guy wearing stone wash jeans - so if he wears stonewash jeans then maybe he'll get Eddies attention back.

That obviously didn't work out how Buck thought it would, but it did lead to him figuring a new part of himself out.

We can see how his trousers are all now sitting at the correct length, I grabbed this still of the black ones, and you can see in the full length still from the date those are as well (even if they're too big more generally) but the others are all sitting at the correct length as well.

We also see the jeans back for his scene with Tommy - I truly am fascinated by the choice to put him back in stonewash jeans aafter so long as a theming choice for his bisexuality, I really am enjoying this more relaxed looking Buck from a costuming perspective - the journey we've been on with his costumes is great - the increasingly formal style thats just a little too small and tight we've seen over the seasons now slowly relaxing once more into something much more comfortable and well fitted - showing just how far he has truly come.

And thats me out for another week! Sorry it turned into another epic - it would seem `i cant stop myself! Not sure if this has come out longer than last weeks, I think it might've, but I can't be bothered to check! Thank you as always for reading this monster and I hope you enjoyed this deep dive into the costumes for 7x05. I'm off now to hyperfixate on Bucks bathroom door and get myself though this mini hiatus!

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