#never gonna be over their tragic end NEVER
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Tragic Ships Tournament: FINAL ROUND
Propaganda under the cut!
Orphydice:
"y'all probably know the story of orpheus and eurydice. but they are SO tragedy. they are TEXTBOOK tragedy. they redefined the genre. on their literal wedding day as she's walking down the aisle eurydice gets bit by a snake and dies. orpheus loves her so much he goes down to the underworld to try and save her. hades allows him to take her back to the land of the living, as long as she walks behind him, and he cannot look back, otherwise her soul will be taken. he's mostly fine , but begins to doubt and at the very end of the tunnel, he looks back. they lock eyes for a moment before she disappears back into hell. orpheus is then so distraught that he wanders the earth singing mournful melodies and gets stoned to death by some nymphs who think his sad songs are bumming them out. DUUUUDE their story consumed my every waking thought as a child."
Madohomu:
"madoka magica aired 12 episodes in 2011, with a sequel movie titled “rebellion” released in 2014. it’s been over 10 years since then, and these two have become the face of yuri. if someone makes a meme about loving yuri and makes a collage of example ships, madohomu are 100% gonna be present. video essays, fanart, fics, music videos and all kinds of fan projects featuring them are still wildly popular on all social media platforms.
but let’s talk about them (without going into too many spoilers, so this will be about the thematics in their relationship). they are light and darkness. the ying and the yang. forever intertwined. one would not exist without the other, yet they cannot exist together. for madoka has too much love for every living thing and too little for herself. and homura has too much love for madoka it blinds her to everything and everyone else, and she struggles with deep self-hatred. madoka has forsaken her own existence for the world, and homura has forsaken the world she created for her. the show has a lot of religious imagery, and madoka is akin to a god; there’s a shot of homura, who grew up catholic, kneeling at the feet of a gigantic statue of madoka, praying, but her hands stain her clothes. because if madoka is god, then homura is lucifer - specifically, iblis, the muslim version of lucifer, who loved god so much he betrayed him, for he’d rather defy him than bow to his creation, humans. and homura would rather defy the sanctity of madoka’s wish, rather than obey its laws, for she will take madoka’s happiness in her hands, if she refuses to. in the movie, dolls representing homura’s inner machinations yell, “gott ist tot”, for homura’s god, madoka, dies in the movie, when homura remembers that madoka was human first, and godhood was something she reached to save everyone, against her best interest and happiness. their relationship is one of love, kindness, obsession, devotion, hope, faith, worship - they are the thesis and the antithesis, the beginning and the end, the alpha and omega, an unstoppable force and an immovable object. forever locked in a struggle, never fully embracing, for madoka will always sacrifice herself for the world, and homura will always doom the world and herself for madoka."
#shipping#ships#fandom#polls#tragic ships tournament#hadestown#orpheus and euridyce#orpheus and eurydice#orphydice#greek mythology#pmmm spoilers#pmmm#madohomu#madoka magica spoilers#puella madoka magica spoilers#madoka magica#madoka kaname#homura akemi
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now lets think about how darry has brothers and how that makes the story even more tragic... this is gonna be a long one so strap in because fuck I went a little over board on this one and then it sat in my drafts for like 4 months because I never felt satisfied with it
I promised I'd be back @walmartbrandwhatever enjoy :)
so the story still plays out mainly the same with darry and paul secretly hooking up throughout the decades, but instead of meeting through work (like skippy and hawk) they meet when they're kids like in canon... and they have their first little fling during high school when they were captain and half back of the football team... (and ofc the iconic madras shirt is still there) but they break up around the time the curtis parents die (and yikes the rest of canon still happens)
soda knew about peril around the time it happens the first time so he sees how torn up his brother is after they break up and how he crawls back to paul everytime because he just can't stay away... it almost infuriates him at times because it's so toxic but then he sees how happy his brother is when they meet up and even though it's so dangerous he can't get himself to tell darry to stop
now ponyboy doesn't find out until later because darry would never imagine telling his 14 year old brother about his homosexual (heavy on the sexual bc we're talking fellow travelers) relationship with a soc... and besides the fact that he doesn't want to throw a wrench into their already strained realtionship, how do you tell your baby brother that you have such evil and wrong feelings for another man when you yourself feel disgusted by your own feelings and actions... it's bad enough that your other kid brother knows about it (cues up the scene of skippy doing a confession and narrates with the religious trauma internalized homophobia darry agenda)
ofc ponyboy knows somethinggg is up with his brother because of the way his mood changes when he goes out at night and the way soda silently eyes him when he leaves
but eventually darry does tell ponyboy or ponyboy finds out... there's a feeling of relief for ponyboy that his eldest brother is just like him even if he doesn't say anything about his own feelings (qpr pb&j rahhh)
now cut to them throughout the decades... they've all gone down their own paths but they're still as close as ever and they know all about darry's sporatic secret hook ups with paul still and well they still can't help but disapprove (mainly soda since he was there for it all, but ponyboy too because he now sees how torn up his brother gets over it)
they're secretly relieved when they end and they no longer hear about paul... at least not from darry's mouth but they do see and hear about him on the news at their own houses because darry always finds a way to shut the news off when he comes up. but then paul hears through the grapevine that darry is sick and he's not going to get better. paul leaves his wife at home with his kids to visit darry and the tornado of fury and resentment he gets is astounding.
no, not from darry though darry (like skippy) is furious with paul and doesn't want paul to be there. no, the explosive anger comes from darry's two kid brothers, although they're not kids anymore. they scream and curse at him, berating him for using their brother and taking advantage of him and for breaking his heart over and over again. ponyboy is furious and loud while soda is cold and deathly silent while he glares at paul while letting ponyboy yell.
when ponyboy storms out, soda calmly gets up to make them both tea, offering some to paul who is taken aback by this gesture. he surely thought that the middle brother would lay into him now and tear him to shreds. instead soda tells him to sit down with a sigh and although there's is a thinly veiled look of contempt, there is also a smothering sense of despair dancing in the back of his eyes.
he asks paul why, why now after all this time. darry didn't just get sick. if he ever cared for his brother even a little bit, then why is he only showing his face now.
soda's tirade starts calm but the longer he talks the more frustrated he gets at paul and the tears start forming.
how dare he shows up now so late after so many years. where was he when darry collapsed at work from being sick. where was he to hold darry's hand when he was diagnosed. where was he to take darry back and forth from doctor's appointments and therapy and hospital stays. where was he when they had to move darry in with him because he got so weak. where was he when darry cried and sobbed over paul pushing him away again and again and again.
where was he when their parents died. when darry needed him the first time. when they were kids. when soda caught darry sobbing in their parents room. sobbing into a shirt he didn't recognize. a purple and gold madras. a shirt he knew they could never afford. a shirt he had seen appear in darry's closet after he spent the night at paul's one night.
paul stands there and takes it because god soda is right and he deserves so much worse than he is getting.
and um yeah I don't wanna talk about the rest because I will start BAWLING. but maybe I will come back again and yap some more so we can cry together <3
just had the most atrocious thought of darry and paul as skippy and hawk in fellow travelers
they are soooooo skippy and hawk coded fuck
please go watch the show because it's actually so devastating
#im nauseous#oh im gonna be sick!#i need to be put down#but i have thoughts#actually i don't know if I can finish this#because SPOILERS#DO NOT KEEP READING#cause that means darry dies#and fellow travelers was devastating enough#but add in soda and pony#got me fucked up#also#religious trauma#religious guilt#darry x paul#fellow travelers#the outsiders#hawk x skippy#darry curtis#paul holden#hawk fuller#tim laughlin#peril#parry#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders musical#paramount plus
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thinking about Thorin and Bilbo, remembering Battle of the Five Armies and how that movie fucking destroyed me at the theater, had me trapped in an hour long crying and sobbing hellscape, tears and snot running down my face after it ended
#even just remembering them and how it all ended is making me tear up again lmao#never gonna be over their tragic end NEVER#looking back it's kinda funny how i was the guardian person at 18 for all my other friends who hadn't turned 18 yet#so we could all watch the evening showing at the theater without getting into legal trouble for staying out too late#but i was the one who needed to be hugged and patted on the head and comforted because one part of my otp died#and i even KNEW it was coming. i read the novel beforehand. and even before that i got spoilered by a classmate (still mad about it)#like i KNEW there would be death but it still hurt my fragile little bagginshield shipper heart lmao#can't believe that it's been almost a decade now
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i cant stop thinking about that final moment of eye contact vax must have had with keyleth. i.
#he came back to exandria one last time to save his family AGAIN. love caused the end of the world. again. im#im going to cry. vaxleth is sof ucking tragic im never EVER EVER GETTING OVER THEM OHHHH my god. im gonna#cr spoilers#critical role#vax'ildan#critical role fanart#aceart
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one of a kind living in a world gone plastic
baby you're so classic
@most-tragic-character-tournament
(all my thoughts in the tags)
#anyway i found their theme song and lost my mind#tragedyshipping#lloyd garmadon#ninjago#antigone#tagamemnon#pollshipping#i'm gonna be thinking about this for the next hour before i go to sleep#i just wanted to make a playlist for them i didn't think i would find a perfect fit#they have taken over many of my braincells and i can't even complain this is the enrichment i needed#all i'm saying is the idea of a movie trailer for these two is taking shape more and more and this should 100% be the accompanying song#not even a full trailer because that would take forever but like. a 30 second TV spot. family drama. them not really getting along at first#(e.g. glaring at each other while being forced to dance or something)#but then warming up to each other on the road because road trips have my soul when it comes to movies ok#i want them to stargaze in the bed of a hotwired pickup truck while on the run from people who demand bloodshed (a poll winner)#the slow(?) burn of not wanting to be in this mess to actually enjoying spending time together to something more#(trailer/commercial ends on or just after “baby you're so classic” with the cut to the title and in theaters date)#maybe most of the tv spot is them arguing and making life hell for one another but it's hard to deny there's something more brewing#(one of the reviews is just ''A modern classic'' because i think i'm funny)#i really want the title to be a play off of them meeting through the tragic tournament but it's completely different from the tone i want#''tragedy: null and void'' is a fun one#i've never been the greatest at titles if they don't hit me like a truck#anyway hi folks i'm sorry if you have no idea what's happening and see this in your tags#willowarts
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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mm thinks about bad end craig. thinks about how being possessed for five+ (for a decade or more) feeds into a sense of helpless defeatism. thinks about how he gets ever more numb to it all, to every awful thing cavisuwa does with his hands his lightning his body and thinks about all the ways craig still cares despite that. humans are nothing but fodder to cavisuwa, little more than attendants and food for giant guinea pigs. craig sees people die every day and really, why should he care? he's not the one doing this, and it's nothing special anymore. his family is dead. jimmy was a damn good double agent until bebe sniffed out his real loyalties and now—but it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter and craig doesn't care he doesn't he doesn't (blood on his hands). his family is dead. he doesn't know where tweek is (but he has to be alive somewhere, he's always been tougher than anyone gives him credit for, if he could survive cavisuwa's attempted murder when they were 11 then he can survive a world overrun by giant omnivorous guinea pigs—), clyde is right there but it's not really clyde, not anymore, not after so many years with his whole nervous system under cavisuwa's control—and why does craig care anyway? clyde was always loud and annoying (but he doesn't deserve this, nobody does, not even cartman and butters deserved having their whole personalities rewritten just like that no matter how badly they sucked—) and cavisuwa only keeps clyde around to hurt craig, which is stupid anyway because craig doesn't care (there's nothing more cavisuwa can take from him and they both know this—) and it doesn't hurt him, it didn't hurt to have his own body taken from him and it didn't hurt to watch jimmy fry alive and it doesn't hurt when cavisuwa complains about how much humans just suck, oh they're so awful, and craig finds himself agreeing ever so slightly (there were so few people he'd have ever admitted to tolerating before all this) and it chafes that him and that rat bastard could ever agree on anything—
but it doesn't matter. because craig doesn't give a single fuck. he doesn't care. he doesn't.
(it does hurt. craig does care. but he's never gonna do anything about it, because he's a dick who doesn't care, never cared, and never will.)
(it hurts.)
#south park#craig tucker#bad end au#cavisuwa#sorry for the giant wall of text but also not sorry bc. mmm yeah#bad end is so fun actually. stanny and craig are both so so tragic in so many ways#obviously craig's less at fault since he's possessed & never asked for any of this#but oh my god. oh my godddddd. he never fought back after tweek ran off#he just. gave up. let cavisuwa have it all#and like. yeah he was 10 to 11 at the time he was literally just a scared kid in way over his head (just like stan in the woods)#ofc he's gonna pull his head into the sand and use apathy as his defense#it's not like anything else he's tried has ever worked (he feels like he never tried at all)#anyway. listening to ajr's ''inertia'' on loop brought on. so much bad end brainrot oh my goddddd#i have a poem due tonight that i've barely even started and i'm south park au posting instead
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Actually foaming at the mouth, I can't stand an unsatisfying ending, either everyone has to die so no hard feelings are left or it has to be the fairytale happily ever after, no in-between. I don't care if the shows not finished, I'm tweaking so hard rn.
(This is the post I found out you can only have 30 tags)
#this is why i dont watch shows#i know this show isnt done#and its like judging an unfinished piece of art#but im dying#i cant#i need them to be happy#why are they so goofy???#yelling screaming crying#im not satisfied#watching that made me feel worse then if i were to never finish it#now i have to wait#im not patient#grgrgrgrgrgrgrrrrr#i just... you dont understand#i need#a haopy ending for this one#dont get me wrong#i love tragedy and tragic endings#and i know this hasnt actually ended#but i dont have anymore content to consume#which means in my head it ended#and second. i like those tragic endings that dont feel easily solvable#like this wouldnt of happened if he had got over his trash ass moral compass#but he didnt#and now im dying#if somekne actually went through all these tags trying to figure out what show it is#im not telling so suck it#im sorry#that was uncalled for#my bad.. but im not gonna say
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seething, blooming // jace x reader
your father has always been something of an opportunist, but trying to marry you off to the blacks while he courts the greens? this is taking playing the game to a whole new level.
the rose discovers she is an instrument of war. —victor hugo.
fandom; house of the dragon pairing; jacaerys velaryon x f!tyrell!reader (no use of y/n) warnings; canon au (set after aegon takes the crown but before luke's death bc luke will never die in my eyes), altered timeline (jace and reader are in their 20s), arranged marriage, mention parental death/death in childbed (reader's mother), love at first sight vibes, jace is a flirtatious little shit with his betrothed, tooth rotting fluff, love confessions. word count; 6k+ notes; one day i might write for another man. but that day is not today. jace velaryon u have my heart. i'm not majorly pleased w this fic but it's given me enough trouble and it's as good as it's gonna get! this was longer originally, and was meant to be a bit more political at first hence the blurb/quote choice, but i haaated some of the scenes so ended up scrapping 'em. she's not as long as predicted as a result but still an ok length i think. some of the scenes i scrapped were tragically the smut ones, so have this fairly pg one-shot with the promise of the smut-shot sitting in my drafts coming ur way soon. fair warning that the scrapping of scenes has fudged with the pacing a bit but honestly i can't take this fic sitting in my drafts any longer so here u go!! i have a taglist now, mostly cos eldrith keeps telling me i have to tag her in everything, so lmk if you'd like to be added to it! requests; are open !
the rising sun paints highgarden in shades of pink and gold.
you stand upon your balcony, finger curled loosely over the pale marble as you stare distantly out over the rolling green fields and blooming gardens. the faint bubbling of the river mander in the distance adds to the peaceful morning, the early wash of sunlight coaxing the sleeping world into life. a cool breeze carries the sweet smell of roses and you take a steadying breath, eyes fluttering shut as you tilt your face up to the sun.
it's a morning that starts like many others. you’ve always risen from bed early, the slow blooming of morning stirring you from slumber more often than not. birds chirp and bees buzz and the river flows and you rise with it, like part of you calls to the breaking dawn.
if not for the thick sheaf of parchment discarded on your father’s desk, it could be a morning like any other. but the parchment is there, and this day will be like no other before it.
today, a dragon is expected at highgarden.
a targaryen has not stepped foot in the reach since before you were born. you don’t think even the princess rhaenyra – queen, now, according to some – had come this far on her marriage tour years ago. but your father has taken it upon himself to invite a prince to your home.
you love your father deeply, but in this you think he must be a fool. as lord paramount of the reach he is, in theory, the power of this kingdom. but anyone with a lick of sense knows that it’s the hightowers that the people look to; oldtown is home to the starry sept, the citadel and, perhaps more importantly, the dowager queen’s family line.
the tyrells have only been in power for a few generations, and people’s memories are long. too many know the truth of how house tyrell had been only a steward when the gardener kings had ruled before the conquest. and so too many see tyrell as a house grasping for power that should be beyond their fingers, and your father is apparently determined to prove them all right.
he’s been careful about his neutrality as war threatens to break out between the targaryen kin, brother and sister both claiming their right to the throne and the realm splitting down the middle. your father has not officially allied with either side, walking a careful tightrope to appease both. up until now you had assumed he sided more with the greens, but he’d sent your assumptions crumbling with only a few sheets of parchment.
your father has always been too ambitious for his own good.
gods, how you miss your mother. when she’d been alive, she’d tempered the worst of your father’s foolishness. she’d been a stark before she’d married, steadfast and sensible in the face of your father’s folly. she’d been a woman unlike any other you’ve known; ferocious and a little wild, but with a good heart and a warm smile for any she’d met.
she’d taught you how to be a lady, but so much more than that – she’d taught you to know your own mind. to know when to mind your tongue and when to speak, how to grow your roots so deep you will always stand tall, flourishing and growing like the most determined of flowers. she’d taught you a little of that northern ice, too, reminding you oft that for as much as you were a rose of highgarden you were equally a wolf of the north, and the wolf’s blood has always run thick in your veins.
she’d called you her little winter rose; delicate and steely and a rare bloom, indeed. she had loved you so fiercely you’d flourished with her tender care, just as the patch of winter roses she’d brought from the glass gardens of winterfell had bloomed ‘neath her careful ministrations. a piece of the north she’d brought south with her, a tiny bit of her home that she’d cradled and cared for until the day you’d lost her to the birthing bed.
your little brother is nearing six, now, and many moons have passed since the sudden grief of your mother had overwhelmed you. but, in recent days you have ached with her loss more often, wondering what she would think of your father’s plans, what she would say to soothe your storm of anxiety. with your looming marriage you find yourself missing your mother acutely, the grief a reopened wound in your chest.
because you are a betrothed woman, now, to be married to a stranger, a prince who is sure to be fighting a war against his kin in the moons to come.
the velaryon prince arrives on dragon back as the sun reaches its peak in the sky.
he dismounts his winged steed in an empty stretch of land a distance from the keep itself, and your father greets him there with a host of staff to accompany him back to the entrance courtyard.
your brother leo bounces in place beside you where you stand with the rest of the household in the courtyard, fairly vibrating with energy at the prospect of seeing a real-life dragon. since the news of the prince’s arrival was announced a sennight ago, leo has done little else but babble about dragons and magic and targaryens. you wish you could share his excitement, his sheer uncomplicated joy, but this visit comes with too many conflicting emotions for you to enjoy it at all.
you’ve always known you would not marry for love. you are the eldest child and only daughter of the lord of the reach – love has never been a factor you could afford to consider. you would do your duty and marry for your house, to seal whatever alliance your father deemed important enough. you’d resigned yourself to this fate as a young girl when your mother had told you in slow, halting words the fear she had felt coming south to marry your father.
but you’d not expected to marry a total stranger. you’d thought your father would at least do you the courtesy of allowing you to meet a suitor before betrothing you to them, but in his feverish ambition to sit his blood on the iron throne he’d promised you to a man you’ve never laid eyes upon.
you don’t want to be queen.
frankly, you think yourself a touch unsuited for it. your father has many times bemoaned your wildness, the wolfs blood that drives you to stubborn recklessness. though you’ve mellowed a little with age and experience, you think you’re still a bit too prone to chaos to be queen of the seven kingdoms one day. never mind the complexities added by the fact that queen rhaenyra’s claim is so fiercely contested, and her half-brother is the one currently physically sitting the iron throne.
thinking about the mess you’re marrying into too much makes your head ache, and the blazing noon sun does little to ease it. leo beside you continues to whisper rapidly about everything he knows about dragons, which is actually quite a lot considering his young age. you think absently you might need to have a word with the maester’s again; leo has wrapped most of the household around his finger, and the elderly maester is prone to indulging your brother when he fixates on a new topic of interest instead of sticking to his lessons.
the sound of hooves on cobble stones startles you from your meandering thoughts, and you straighten your spine as your eyes take in the unfamiliar man riding into the courtyard beside your father while your brother finally falls silent.
he’s handsome, at least; a tumble of dark curls brushing his shoulders, a sharp jaw and a strong nose. though you like to think yourself more than superficial, it eases at least some of your worries to know the prince is attractive to you. your mother had done you the courtesy of explaining what was expected of you on your wedding night after your first moons blood, and in secret since you’d perused the library for books detailing more lustful acts in an effort to satiate your unending curiosity.
you’re worried enough about completing your wifely duties without having to worry about finding the man lying with you repulsive, and so you allow yourself a few moments of relief at his pretty face.
your father dismounts first, gesturing for you to step forward as the prince gets down from his own horse. leo moves forward with you, eyes wide and shining with something akin to hero worship as he gazes at jacaerys. you have a wry thought that perhaps he should marry him since he is so clearly already enamoured, but you brush that aside as your father and the prince approach.
“i am most pleased to introduce my daughter, your grace, as well as my son and heir, leo,” your father says as they reach you, his satisfaction in his successful planning clear as he smiles smugly.
you dip into a perfect curtsey as leo bows a touch clumsily at your side. as heir it would traditionally be leo’s job to greet the prince, but when you send him a sidelong glance you see he is too busy making moon eyes at the darkhaired man to say anything, and so you take it upon yourself to speak.
“welcome to highgarden, my prince. we are honoured to host you,” you greet, finally meeting jacaerys’s eyes. they’re a warm amber shade, the noon sun turning them to liquid honey as he looks at you, and you feel your cheeks flush with the appreciation you can see in his gaze as he drinks you in. it seems he does not find you repulsive either, at least.
he sketches a quick bow, eyes never leaving yours, and you feel your heart start to race in your chest at his attention. “it is an honour to be here, my lady, and to finally make your acquaintance.” he smiles at you then, small and a little crooked but there, and your flush deepens. “i look forward to getting to know you better in the coming days.”
you swallow, hoping your budding attraction is not as obvious as you fear it is. your father is looking increasingly smug as he watches the interaction, though it seems to war with some paternal annoyance as jacaerys lightly flirts with you.
“and i you,” you return softly, a smile quirking on your lips.
“—can i meet your dragon?” leo bursts out, seemingly unable to contain himself any longer, and jacaerys blinks down at him in surprise as you resist the urge to press your palm to your face.
“leo,” you scold immediately as your father chortles at his heir’s enthusiasm for dragons. “the prince has had a long journey. you should give him a chance to settle in before demanding anything of him.”
“right you are, my dear.” your father waves to the household steward before turning to the prince. “alyn will show you to your rooms, your grace, so that you might freshen up, and then we have a feast prepared for this evening to welcome you to highgarden.”
jacaerys nods easily as the greeting crowd begins to disperse, the maester corralling leo to take him for his lessons with fond exasperation even as the boy loudly protests. you mean to go walk the gardens, and so you stay standing in place as the prince trails after your father and steward alyn.
he pauses beside you, though, a slight smile on his face as you look up at him questioningly. your eyes catch on the smattering of freckles on his face, and it takes a moment for you to process his words. “i look forward to speaking to you further at the feast, my lady.”
you smile back at him, cheeks flushing once again as his eyes linger on your mouth for a breathless moment. “i shall save you a dance, my prince,” you return a touch coyly, tucking your hair behind your ear.
“only one dance?” he teases, eyebrow arching.
you hum, head tilting to the side in mock consideration as something like satisfaction gleams in jacaerys’s eyes. “i shall have to use the first dance to judge your dancing skills, your grace, before i risk promising you another.”
he laughs then, a little surprised but no doubt pleased as his eyes crinkle with his wide smile. “then i shall do my best to meet your standards, my lady.” he dips into a quick bow of farewell, then, as you finally take note of your father lingering on the steps to the keep with raised eyebrows.
“we shall see,” you return as you curtsey.
you allow yourself a moment to watch his retreating back, eyes dragging over the strong line of his shoulders before you internally shake yourself and head to the gardens, thoughts swimming with honey brown eyes and tanned, freckled skin and a slow dawning certainty that while this betrothal may be unexpected, you doubt it will leave you unsatisfied.
the feast is in full swing by the time the prince arrives at the hall.
the minstrels are playing a jaunty tune as couples twirl on the dance floor. you sit at the head table with leo and your father, watching with a careful eye as your brother cuts up his food. he’s only just mastered the art of eating his food without spilling half if it down his doublet, but as distracted as he is by the festivities and the prospect of seeing a dragon close up, you worry he’s at risk of making a mess of himself regardless.
so absorbed in your task you are, it takes a long moment for you to realise jacaerys has arrived. it’s only when your skin prickles with awareness that you look up from leo and catch sight of the prince winding his way across the floor to the head table, eyes fixed on you. your head tilts to the side slightly as you watch him move, graceful and controlled, through the crowd.
he’s in black and red again, just as he had been when he’d arrived. it seems your father had been right when he’d stated that jacaerys favours his mother’s house colours. you smooth your hand over the skirts of your dress, the deep wine-red of the material feeling less out of place now, before standing with your father to greet the prince.
you all exchange pleasantries quickly as the noise in the hall dims, people realising the prince has arrived. your father ushers jacaerys into the empty seat between you and your father as he raises his goblet to the hall before speaking in his booming voice.
you don’t pay attention to your father’s speech, too aware of the warmth radiating from jacaerys who stands only inches from you to focus. you risk a glance at him from the corner of your eyes only to find his dark honey eyes fixed on you, and you cannot help but smile to yourself even as you flush, turning your eyes back to the crowd.
rousing applause and cheers draw you back to the moment, and you catch yourself in time to raise your wine in toast with your father. you go to sit back down as the crowd returns to its revelries, but the soft brush of a hand on your arm halts your movement. you turn expectingly to the prince, a soft smile on your lips.
“yes, your grace?”
“would you do me the honour of a dance, my lady?”
your lips quirk into a sly smile even as you bob your head in a nod. “i suppose i did promise you one, did i not?”
“that you did, my lady, and i have thought of nothing else since.” dark honey eyes sparkle with mirth as he offers you his hand, and with a quiet giggle you take it and allow him to lead you to the dance floor.
you feel the heat of his hand on your waist like a brand even through the layers of your dress, and it makes your breath catch in your throat. you inhale deeply in an effort to steady yourself as you rest your palm on his strong shoulder, and are immediately overwhelmed by the woodsy scent of him as he claps your hand in his and begins to dance.
you start the dance in comfortable silence, both of you taking a few moments to get a feel for the other and settle into the steps, and when you feel comfortable enough you speak.
“how are you finding highgarden, prince jacaerys?”
“jace, please,” he entreats, and elaborates only when you blink at him in confusion. “my friends and family call me jace, not jacaerys. we are to be married, my lady. it would please me a great deal for my future wife to refer to me as such.”
you nod in acceptance, butterflies erupting in your stomach at his eager expression. “jace it is, then,” you say, and try not to feel the way your heart flutters at his radiant smile in response. “although you have not answered my question. how are you finding highgarden?”
he hums, twirling you as the dance requires and then pulling you closer before responding. “your father has been very hospitable, and it is certainly beautiful here. the grounds especially, though i’m afraid i’ve not had the opportunity to see much of them as yet.”
“a shame we shall have to rectify, i think.” you offer him a small smile as you press just an inch closer, finding yourself wanting to be nearer him. “perhaps i could show you the gardens on the morrow?”
“yes,” he agrees a touch too quickly, and you giggle as his cheeks turn pink. “that is to say— i should like that very much, my lady. very much indeed.”
you lapse into silence once more as the dance reaches its crescendo, and you find yourself reluctant to leave the comfort of his hands as the music pauses while the minstrels ready their next song.
jace seems to share the sentiment, it seems, as his eyes linger on your entwined hands for a long moment before returning to your face. “have i met your standards enough for another dance, then?”
you take a moment to pretend to consider it, eyes narrowing slightly as you hum. he shuffles on his feet as he waits for your response, and you find the nervous motion far too endearing.
“i suppose so,” you concede after a moment, grinning at his smugly pleased smile as he tugs you closer.
“and what about the dance after that?” he asks lightly, something cheeky in his eyes as the music starts up again and he sweeps you along the floor.
“you should not press your luck, jace,” you say imperiously, although the effect is rather ruined by the silly smile on your face as he laughs with you.
jacaerys smirks. “my lady, since meeting you, i have felt nothing but a lucky man.”
you smother a snort, shaking your head at his unrepentant expression. “you are incorrigible.” it comes out a touch exasperated and yet far too fond.
“yes,” the prince agrees readily, a sly twinkle in his eyes. “but i think you rather enjoy it.”
your startled laugh is loud, though thankfully not so loud as to be heard over the minstrels. “perhaps.”
after that, the night is lost to flirtatious banter and dance after dance in your betrothed’s arms as a seed of affection is planted deep in your heart. and when you wake in the morning after dreaming of nothing but jace’s lips and eyes and words, you can think only one thought;
gods, i am in so much trouble.
time passes in a slow trickle of syrupy summer heat.
as the days go by, you find yourself spending more and more time in jace’s company. you’re always chaperoned, of course, a household guard following at a respectful distance wherever the two of you choose to roam. you find the whole thing a touch ridiculous; jace is to be your husband. it’s hardly like spending time together alone would be a significant scandal in light of your impending marriage, but your father insists there will be no doubts about your honour before the marriage actually takes place and so ser dickon is assigned as your reluctant shadow.
the date of the wedding itself remains unset as you and jace start to know one another. your father wishes for the marriage to wait until the war is done – a last-ditch chance to keep his options open, perhaps. Or, if you are feeling generous, a way to try and keep you safe from the greens when war inevitably rages. jace’s mother wishes the marriage to happen as soon as can be arranged – a way to try and ensure further heirs with the uncertainty of war looming, you assume.
you find yourself hoping the queen’s will wins the day as time creeps on. jace becomes ever dearer to you the more you learn about him, and soon you think of your impending marriage with nothing but hope and warm desire.
because oh, how you want him. from the first moment you’d laid eyes upon him you’d been attracted to him, but the more you get to know him, the more your heart opens to him – the more you ache for him. for his mouth on yours, his fingertips on your skin, his voice in your ear. if you were a less reckless woman, a little less shameless, you’d be embarrassed of how easily you think of him in your moments apart.
but late at night when the candles burn low and you are alone in your bed, there is no shame to be found, only the wildness of your wolfs blood and liquid heat as your hand drifts between your legs and you find completion with your betrothed’s name on your lips.
beyond the desire, though, is a slow blooming affection. it feels like every time you learn something new about him or share a new experience together, another petal of tenderness unfurls in your chest. when your father had first told you about your betrothal, you’d not dared to hope for more than civility with your husband-to-be, but now you find yourself harbouring deep fondness on top of steadily burning desire, and you look to your future as his wife with little else but excitement.
you’re not sure if jace feels the same. you don’t doubt he desires you; his flirtation and the weight of his gaze on your form is too frequent a thing for you to think otherwise. but desire is not the same as affection, and though you hope desperately that the way he always seeks your presence whenever he steps into a room means what you want it to mean, you can’t be sure.
after a week passes, you both start to chafe at the relentless presence of ser dickon. it feels like every time you so much as think about inching closer to jacaerys, ser dickon is there with his stern glare of disapproval. and so, when one morning jace suggests taking you to meet his dragon, alone, you are quick to agree.
you leave your guard long behind at jace’s instruction; he doesn’t want vermax crowded with strangers, he explains, but you personally think he seems a little too gleeful at the idea of being alone with you for that to be sole reason behind his insistence ser dickon stays far away. you don’t say anything since you’re equally pleased to finally be spending some time with your betrothed without feeling others curious eyes on you.
your excitement starts to waver, however, as you and jace get closer to his dragon. you’ve only seen vermax from a distance before this, and though it perhaps shouldn’t the size of him startles you. he’s just so large and fierce looking, the sharp spines on his back catching your eye. the beast yawns as you slow to a stop, jace sending you a quick smile before he continues on to greet his dragon with fondness, and the glimpse into vermax’s open maw – gods, there as so many teeth – has your palms starting to sweat.
jace stands beside his dragon, murmuring soothing words in high valyrian that you don’t understand as his hand smooths along his snout. your heart races in your chest, nerves making your hands shake when faced with this great beast. you curse your reckless curiosity, your northern stubbornness that makes it impossible for you to refuse a challenge. you have no idea how jace can look so at ease, the line of his shoulders relaxed and the slightest smile on his face as he talks to his winged steed, but there he stands.
“you can come closer now.” he turns to you, brown eyes shining with excitement and, yes, a hint of challenge.
he expects you to back out, you think, and that realisation has you straightening your spine and pressing your lips together. you twist your fingers in your skirts to hide the way they tremble as you step cautiously forward, eyes darting from jace to vermax and back. when you’re within touching distance of the velaryon prince, he reaches for your hand. the shock of his bare skin against yours arrests you for a moment, the slide of calloused fingers around your wrist startling in how easily it sparks desire in you.
you’re so distracted by the feel of him that you don’t realise until it’s too late that jace has tugged you closer, guiding your hand until it’s pressed to vermax’s scales, and then you’re too busy being surprised by how soft they feel to be annoyed that he’s so easily coaxed you into this position.
you still as the dragon rumbles, swallowing thickly as your fingers twitch against green scales. he blinks lazily at you, an alien intellect gleaming there as he seems to consider you for a long moment, and as you blink back at him some of the fear in your chest shakes loose.
because this is not just some beast, you realise. this is fire and blood and magic made flesh. there is life and intelligence in vermax’s eyes, not one you recognise but one you immediately respect. being this close to the dragon is a heady rush of awe and adrenaline; the knowledge that vermax could so easily harm you at any moment but is choosing not to because he trusts his rider. it’s staggering and wonderful and beside you jace is beaming, eyes shining with happiness at seeing you greet his draconic companion, and you are helplessly, hopelessly, wholly overwhelmed by your affection, your desire, by jace.
you kiss him.
it’s barely a kiss, more a breathless press of your mouth against his, and he startles at the sensation even as his arm loops around your waist. you break apart for the barest moment, nose sliding against his as you tilt your head, and jacaerys sighs out your name with heavy relief before he captures your mouth once more.
you’ve been kissed before, so you know the mechanics of it, but it’s never been like this. his lips move smoothly against yours as his hand flexes on your waist, drawing you closer until your chest is pressed against his. your hand tangles in his hair, fingers twisting in the soft curls and he moans with it, hand dragging up your back to cradle the back of your head tenderly as his tongue sweeps over your lips.
the gentle pressure of it has you gasping and he takes the opportunity immediately, tongue sliding against yours as heat pools in your core. your thoughts tumble wildly, incoherent as you can think of nothing but of how desperately you want more. the taste – the smell – the feel of him is drowning everything out that isn’t jace and you cannot resist it, do not even want to.
you want to kiss him forever, want his hand in your hair and his tongue in your mouth for always. you think he might even let you with how relentless he is, barely giving you a moments pause to catch your breath before consuming you in another desperate kiss.
you finally part only when vermax grumbles, cheeks blazing with heat as you step out of jace’s arms. jace murmurs lowly to his dragon in valyrian, and he nudges his great snout against jace’s shoulder in response before stepping away and curling down into the long grass to sleep. you take the moment to properly catch your breath again, hand pressing to your heaving chest in an effort to soothe your racing heart.
when you peek up at jace from beneath your lashes, you flush deeply at the sight of him. his curls are a mess, his lips swollen and cheeks pink beneath his tan. he looks almost debauched, and it sends a rush of desire through you. you suddenly can think of nothing other than him looking like this only flusher and skin glistening with sweat and in your bed.
the thought startles you into dropping your gaze to your feet, and you shuffle uncertainly. you feel – unsettled. you don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing a kiss with your betrothed, and yet something like guilt curdles in your stomach as you worry at your bottom lip. you had kissed him. for all that he’d kissed you back, you worry that now he will think differently of you. think worse of you.
a knuckle tucks under your chin, then, lifting your face so that you meet jace’s eyes. you feel small and strangely vulnerable in the aftermath of your kiss, like you have somehow shown him something you never intended to, and the urge to shy away remains. but you are not a winter rose for nothing and so you tuck the doubt away as jace runs his thumb soothingly along the line of your jaw.
“i have been thinking of doing that since the moment you first smiled at me,” he confesses, a hint of shyness in the quirk of his lips even as he stares steadily into your eyes.
“oh.” you blink at him once in surprise, the uneasiness in you finally settling at the fondness in his gaze. “oh. that’s— good.” you curse yourself for your lack of wit in this moment as jace snickers. “i-i mean, i’m glad that it was not… unwelcome.”
your betrothed looks at you with deep affection, then, cupping your cheek and ducking down to press a fleeting, butterfly-soft kiss to your mouth before reluctantly parting from you. “it was most welcome, my lady. most welcome, indeed.” his eyes sparkle with mirth. “i find myself looking forward to the next time you greet vermax, if this is the kind of response such a thing garners.”
“jace!” you narrow your eyes at him in pretend annoyance, even as you smother a giggle with your fingers. “you should not expect me to indulge in such desires again, then, if you persist in being so smug about it.”
his laugh warms you as the two of you fall into easy banter, leaving vermax to his rest and returning to the ever-watchful ser dickon, and all the while all you can think of is how much you cannot wait to kiss him again.
as the air cools with the dying light of day, you lead jace to the gardens.
in the week since your first kiss, jace has oft tugged you into shadowy corners for more kisses any chance he’s had. his desire for you is matched only by your own for him, and as your confidence in your mutual attraction has grown, you have been equally as likely to pull him into a dark alcove to trade sweet words and sweet kisses in secret.
it’s thrilling and exciting and wonderful, but as the week passes you find a growing doubt whispering in the back of your mind.
while you cannot doubt jace desires you, not when he is so relentless in chasing after your smiling mouth, neither of you breathe a word of any feeling between you beyond attraction. perhaps it is reckless of you, foolhardy to fall for him so quickly – but then you are your parent’s daughter, all wolfs blood and deep roots, and you know no other way of being than this.
so you take him to the gardens as the moon rises in the sky, sneak past the night guards and out into the fresh air. you guide him through the blooming flowers and swaying trees, stopping along the while when the fancy takes one of you to stop and examine an interesting bloom or inhale a sweet scent. at least three times he stops you to slot his mouth against yours, to swallow your breathless giggling with feverish kisses, and each time he does it takes longer and longer for you to disentangle yourselves from each other.
eventually, with swollen lips and mussed hair, the two of you reach the winter roses. your effervescent mood becomes sombre as the moon shines on the blue flowers, turning the petals almost silver, and jace seems to recognise the change in atmosphere, a seriousness overtaking him as he watches you approach the flowers.
“my mother planted the first of these roses,” you tell jace as you kneel at the edge of the flowerbed, uncaring of the risk of dirt on your dress as you brush fingers over the pale blue petals tenderly. “winter roses, they are, from the north. from winterfell. she was born a stark, you see, and when she was betrothed to my father the only thing she asked was to be able to bring a few blooms from the glass gardens. she used to call me her little winter rose when i was a child, and she would bring me here and show me how to tend to them.”
jace kneels beside you, glancing at the side of your face before turning to look curiously at the blue flowers. “they’re beautiful,” he tells you sincerely.
“i’ve always thought so, too,” you agree almost absently, stroking the petals in an effort to calm your racing heart. “everyone told my mother she’d never be able to get them to grow so far south. they’re very rare, you see, and need very particular conditions.” your lips quirk up into a fond smile. “but my mother, for all that she became a tyrell, was always a stark at heart. stubborn, you know. and now look at them, thriving.”
you gesture out at the carefully tended rows of roses. “nobody else comes here, now, other than the gardeners and me. i think… i think my father finds it too hard, being here. it makes him miss her too much. so i come here when i need to be alone. or when i wish to be reminded of her. it's the one place in the world where i feel i can be wholly myself, without any pretence or worry.”
jace’s gaze is fixed on you, now, eyes almost black in the faint moonlight as understanding dawns on him. “thank you for bringing me here.”
you nod once, climbing back to your feet, and jace follows you. he watches you so intently, like he’s afraid that you might disappear if he dares to look away. you feel a little like you might, feel tenuous and vulnerable and a breath away from cracking your chest open.
“i’ve never brought anyone else here,” you confess quietly, flexing your fingers with nerves as jace’s lips part in surprise. “i wished… i wished to share this with you. to share who i am, myself, with you, i suppose.” you laugh a little self-deprecatingly. “however pretentious that sounds.”
“it doesn’t,” jace denies immediately. you sense he wants to say more, but he seems to understand that you’re building to saying something yourself, and so he stays quiet, expression earnest and open and fond as he gazes down at you.
“i know it’s perhaps too soon – we have only known each other a few weeks. but i… when i first found out we were betrothed, i was so scared. i worried you would be some arrogant princeling, and i dared not hope for anything more than civility between us. i’ve always known i would not marry for love, but i did not ever consider i would marry a man i had never met.”
you pause for long enough to suck in a breath, feeling a little like the floodgates have opened and you simply can’t stop speaking, can’t stop the feeling pouring freely from you. “and then i met you, and you were so unlike anything i’d expected. i know we still have so much more to learn about each other, and i know that things are— complicated, with the war, and that our marriage may be a ways off yet, but still— i find myself feeling for you, and i cannot hide it anymore. i don’t wish to hide it from you anymore.”
you let the open affection in his face buoy you as you steel yourself, pressing your shoulders back in a mimicry of confidence. “i wanted to show you this part of me, this place, because i….” you hesitate for a breathless moment, biting your lip, before gathering every scrap of courage you possess and diving in headfirst. “i am falling in love with you, jacaerys.”
you inhale the sweet scent of the pale blue petals deeply, let the familiar scent soothe you as jace stares at you with wide eyes. the winter roses are something that, until now, have been so uniquely yours. as you’d told jace, none other than you and the gardeners comes to this corner of the gardens now. the staff that tend so carefully to the flowers know to leave you well enough alone if they stumble across you, skirts splayed on the ground and fingers diligently caring for the roses. you’ve never even brought your sweet little brother, though you can admit that’s for practicality as much as anything else – his childish energy is a bit too boisterous for these delicate blooms.
bringing jace here, bringing him here to confess the deepening affection you harbour for him, feels raw. feels like you’re tearing your heart out of your chest and offering it up to him for perusal, hands bloody and soul bare. feels like saying ‘this is all that i am and all that i have been and all i will ever be and i hope, i hope, i hope it’s enough.’
jace finally, finally speaks, sighs your name, soft and sweet and tender, and hope blooms in your chest.
“oh, my sweet lady,” he murmurs, crowding into your space as he cups your cheek, and the smell of woodsmoke and dragon and jace floods your senses. “i am falling so unbelievably in love with you. only, it does not feel so much like falling as it is like choosing it, like walking into love with you with my eyes wide open and seeing nothing but you.”
it's almost unbearable, the blazing heat of his gaze as he presses his forehead against yours, and it makes you tremble as your hands clutch as his elbows in an effort to ground yourself to this moment, to him. “our betrothal was decided for us without care or consideration for our own desires,” he says, lips brushing against your own with every whispered word. “i know that as well as you, but i need you to know that if i had the choice i would choose this. i would choose you, your stubborn heart, your fierce spirit, your gracious soul.”
his hand slides from your cheek to your hair, holds you so tenderly like you are something precious, and it steals your breath from your lungs as you revel in his unbridled affection. “i care not when we marry, if we marry, in truth, because in my heart you are already mine just as i am already yours.”
he kisses you, then, a desperate and greedy thing, as if he can no longer restrain himself from devouring you whole. and you are just as needy, hands fisting in his doublet as you press yourself against him and somehow finding yourself wishing to be closer still. the world narrows down to him and him only; his mouth, his hands, his hair. you can think of nothing else, and do not wish to, because in this moment you are wholly yourself and he is wholly himself and it’s enough, it’s wonderful and delicate and it’s enough.
and, there beneath the moonlight and amongst the winter roses, deep and enduring affection, the kind of love the bards sing songs about, takes root.
taglist; @eldrith
#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys targaryen x reader#jace x reader#hotd fanfic#jacaerys velaryon imagine#jacaerys vaaryon fanfic#house of the dragon fanfic#jacaerys targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys targaryen fanfic#jacaerys targaryen imagine#my writing
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Tragic Ships Tournament Quarter Finals
Propaganda under the cut!
Enjoltaire:
"Okay so the whole thing with them is that Enjolras is like the leader of the Les Amis; he believes in the revolution in his heart and soul and his being. He is a shining beacon of hope like Victor Hugo calls him Apollo in the book. He believes in freedom and in the future and that beyond the barricade, there's a new tomorrow waiting for them. Grantaire, on the other hand, doesn't believe in anything. He's a drunk and a cynic and he doesn't believe in that new tomorrow. If nothing had something to offer, Grantaire would stop believing in nothing. When he offers to do something to help the Les Amis, he gets distracted and drunk and I think he ends up playing dominoes? It might have been cards. Anyway, that's Grantaire. BUT Grantaire believes in ONE thing. And that ONE thing is ENJOLRAS. No matter how cynical and pessimistic Grantaire is, he believes in Enjolras. If Enjolras is Apollo, Grantaire is Icarus flying ever closer to him. And then at the end. When their revolution has failed and they are facing down the barrel of guns. Grantaire gets up and stands next to Enjolras and asks if he can hold his hand so that they can die together, and they do. It's heartbreaking and heart wrenching and Icarus brings the sun down with him as he falls."
Madohomu:
"madoka magica aired 12 episodes in 2011, with a sequel movie titled “rebellion” released in 2014. it’s been over 10 years since then, and these two have become the face of yuri. if someone makes a meme about loving yuri and makes a collage of example ships, madohomu are 100% gonna be present. video essays, fanart, fics, music videos and all kinds of fan projects featuring them are still wildly popular on all social media platforms.
but let’s talk about them (without going into too many spoilers, so this will be about the thematics in their relationship). they are light and darkness. the ying and the yang. forever intertwined. one would not exist without the other, yet they cannot exist together. for madoka has too much love for every living thing and too little for herself. and homura has too much love for madoka it blinds her to everything and everyone else, and she struggles with deep self-hatred. madoka has forsaken her own existence for the world, and homura has forsaken the world she created for her. the show has a lot of religious imagery, and madoka is akin to a god; there’s a shot of homura, who grew up catholic, kneeling at the feet of a gigantic statue of madoka, praying, but her hands stain her clothes. because if madoka is god, then homura is lucifer - specifically, iblis, the muslim version of lucifer, who loved god so much he betrayed him, for he’d rather defy him than bow to his creation, humans. and homura would rather defy the sanctity of madoka’s wish, rather than obey its laws, for she will take madoka’s happiness in her hands, if she refuses to. in the movie, dolls representing homura’s inner machinations yell, “gott ist tot”, for homura’s god, madoka, dies in the movie, when homura remembers that madoka was human first, and godhood was something she reached to save everyone, against her best interest and happiness. their relationship is one of love, kindness, obsession, devotion, hope, faith, worship - they are the thesis and the antithesis, the beginning and the end, the alpha and omega, an unstoppable force and an immovable object. forever locked in a struggle, never fully embracing, for madoka will always sacrifice herself for the world, and homura will always doom the world and herself for madoka."
#les miserables#enjolras#enjoltaire#grantaire#major character death#welp sorry capvers#looks like it's your time#shipping#ships#fandom#polls#tragic ships tournament#pmmm spoilers#pmmm#madohomu#madoka magica spoilers#puella madoka magica spoilers#madoka magica
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i. imgonnagetyouback
The one and only son of the Gojo clan had fallen quite hard, completely and utterly, to a lowly woman who came from the dirt, and got his heart broken by her. Years had passed, he was still as angry since the day you left, but he only wanted you back.
contents. modern au, gojo satoru x reader, angst, not proofread.
Whether I'm gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back
next chapter
It was pathetic. The sight of Gojo Satoru, a well-respected son of the Gojo clan, was down on his knees right in front of you, begging you to stay, a daughter of a mere servant.
It made him look pitiful and weak, a miserable prince who had his heart shattered by a low class woman like you. But he didn't really give it that much of a thought, ever since he first laid eyes on you. He didn't care what people might've said from the very first time, and he proved it to you a million times as he stubbornly and desperately showed you how much he loves and adores you. So, begging down on his knees is not that much of a deal now, no?
“Stand up, please.”
But you were firm, closing your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. You hated seeing him like this, but you were left with no other choice. Your love for him could risk even the dangers of your life, and you were sacrificing him to save him.
“I do not wish to be with you any longer, Young Master.” You said, uttering his title in a whisper. “What we had was wrong. It was a mistake on my side. And I thought I was in love with you, but it was just a pathetic infatuation and I realised that another man best suits me, and it's not you.”
Your words were nonstop, every single thing that you uttered was shattering his heart into pieces. But Satoru furiously shakes his head, his hands trembling on your lap as his forehead falls on your knees.
“T-that’s not… T-that's not true…”
You remembered everything from that day. Every little detail, every word, every touch, every action, of what had happened stayed forever in your mind. It never fails to shatter you. To make you cry every single time that you thought about him as you lie in the confinements of your small room.
“I have done what you asked for. What else do I need to do–” A whimper escaped your lips as a hand flew over your cheek. Breathing heavily, you felt the sting on your skin as you looked back at the person who had been the cause of your pain.
“Pack your things, and never show your face again.”
Gojo Satoru haunted your dreams and nightmares. He managed his way in your heart, and refused to leave. He was the ghost of your tragic love story, you could only wish that you never should've picked up the pen. It's already been two years since you left, and even until now, your heart only beats for one man and it will always be for Satoru.
So what are you going to do when he comes up at your door, claiming what used to be his?
It all happened so fast that your head can't fathom how you ended back to the place of your nightmares. The Gojo clan's mansion. The place where it all started between the two of you.
Every corner of this place was filled with memories of you and Satoru, all the good and bad. But what you remembered most was the torture, the consequences you had faced for falling in love. You felt like all your scars were slowly tearing apart, opening the wound that was almost healed as you looked back to the man who stood in front of you.
You never should've been back in this place.
“I expect you to work immediately.” Satoru's voice was different. It was laced with authority and demand, not the sweet ones that you remember back when he was yours. “Remember, your family is in the palm of my hands. Try to escape, and you'll face the consequences.”
His eyes looked at you with anger, a pent up emotion that he bottled up all these years. His hands were balled on a fist by his sides, almost trembling, but he wouldn't let you see just how much you still have an effect on him.
Right now, all he feels is anger and hatred for what you did. For leaving him. For running off with another man. For loving him only to break his heart. For letting him hold on to your empty promises.
For those two years, he only loathed you and he's not going to be a forgiving man, he'll make sure you regret. He'll make you beg on his knees, the way he did for you.
“I expect you to be in my office in five.”
Now, you're back to square one. Working as his maid was already bad enough back then, so what's going to happen now that you're back to serve him again?
You can't help but notice how much he changed. Somehow, you can tell that he was still the same, only that he was only mad at you. It was obvious already how he's showing indifference only to you but not to anyone else. His bubbly personality that used to welcome you with warm embraces is now replaced with an angry demeanour of a man who cold-heartedly took you away from your family and took you back to the house where you suffered.
How unfair.
This was not your Satoru.
As soon as Satoru turned around and left you standing, he heaved out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. His heart felt like it was trying to escape from his chest. For the first time since you left, he finally felt his heart beating again.
All throughout those years that you were gone, he relentlessly looked for you. Trying to search your face in unfamiliar places, sometimes getting himself into trouble when he mistakes someone for you. Everyday, he was turning angrier and angrier when you never showed up, while all he needed was proper answers and explanations. He hated all the memory that you had left, and how it tore him to pieces that all of it was just a lie.
He couldn't believe you had the nerve. A woman like you with no name for herself, telling him that a relationship with him was just a mistake as you sought another man. Gojo Satoru was everything anyone could have asked for, so how dare a woman like you? How dare a woman he loved…
Everything comes crashing down into his mind once again. From the first time he saw you and how you've caught his eye. His heart starts to beat frantically, his breath caught into his chest, his tongue tied together. Satoru slumps into his chair as he closes his eyes, letting the memory sink in.
“Who is that woman?” Satoru asked an older servant, seeing your unfamiliar face walking around the garden in a maid uniform as he stared down at you from his window.
“That's [M/L/N]’s daughter. She's here to take her place while her mother is recovering.” The servant answered as she poured him tea.
Satoru watched as you walked quietly, your movements looked calculated and careful. He watched your finger touch a ragged cloth, gracefully cleaning the dirty tables.
From afar, he can see how your skin looked soft and pale. You were a bit thin and looked weak. He can only assume that he could break you with one twist.
Your face didn't have any emotion in it which intrigued him. Even your lips were downturned, like you hated every second of working in his place. You caught his attention in a matter of seconds, a curiosity growing inside him while he watched your every move.
He noticed the way your mood changed when his family's dog, a small golden retriever, came running to you. A smile formed into your face and he swore he could feel all the flowers blooming all around the place. Everything seemed to have lighted up, his heart began to drum in his chest as you kneeled down to the dog, petting and rubbing the cute animal between your hands.
What's so fascinating about you?
He swallowed hard. Satoru felt like a teenage boy realising that he was staring a little too hard. He felt like a stalker for watching you, shivering at his thoughts.
But he wanted to meet you. Something was pulling him to be close to your presence. A magnetic force was drawing him to come near, and it was the very first time that he ever felt like this.
But he'll take his time first. For now, he's going to settle on just watching you from afar, memorising every detail of you, until he is ready.
A knock on the door woke Satoru back to his senses. He straightened up on his seat, erasing the memories out of his head as he coughed. “Come in.”
But how can Satoru completely forget?
You walked inside in your maid uniform, the same dress that you used to wear, and it only took Satoru a matter of seconds for all your pasts to remind him of how much he loved you. He felt a pain in his chest, and for a moment, he wanted to fall back on his knees and beg for you to love him again. But even you had changed.
Satoru was also back to square one. He looks at you, reminded of the first time he had seen your face. The lack of emotion, the frown, the gaze that used to intimidate him, and the wall you had built between the two of you was palpable.
“Take a seat.” Satoru gestured over the chair in front of his table.
He watched you carefully as you stepped inside his office, striding forward with a sense of hurry as you obviously refused to seat. You stood in front of him, an emotion in your eyes that he can't seem to read.
“I have to get back to my family–”
“They are fine.” Satoru immediately cut you off, his voice ringing over your ear. He looked at you with a glare, venom laced in his voice as he says, “You are bound to stay here, as I said so–”
“You can't keep me here!”
Your scream shocked the both of you, but Satoru kept a straight face as he stood up slowly. He chuckled with malice, staring at your helpless state.
“What makes you say that I can't?” He smirked. “I own you now. Every single thing that's yours is also mine, even your family.”
Your eyes fell to the floor, your hands trembling at your side. Your knees felt weak underneath his gaze, burning and crushing your soul.
Everything he said was true. You were in so much debt ever since you left the Gojo mansion, your family almost falling apart if he didn't show up to take you. And now he's claiming every single bit of what's yours, not leaving a single piece behind.
Satoru made it clear when he took you here. He'll pay for everything to save you and your family. Your mother's hospital bill, your father's gambling debts, your brother's education, their food, house, electricity, and all their livings, because you couldn't pay them off by yourself.
So now you're trapped. He's got you wrapped around his fingers.
“You need me, Y/N.” You closed your eyes at his voice, shaking your head in denial. “You can't afford to live without me, and that's the truth.”
It was the truth, Satoru taking her away from her old life.
You were doing just fine when he was gone. But now you don't know anymore.
this is the part 1 of my mini (?) gojo series! i hope you'd like it and anticipate for what's next to come 🥺🫶🏻 [M/L/N] also stand for "mother's last name" in case you didn't knowww ^.^ I also hoped you understood the flashbacks and such.
this is just a prologue of the main story, sooo the real story starts at part 2.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu satoru#gojou satoru x reader#jjk satoru#satorugojo#gojo fluff#gojo angst#satoru angst#satoru jjk#jjk gojo satoru#jujutsu#jujutsu kaien modern au#jjk modern au#jjk fic#jjk angst#jjk fluff#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x oc#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru angst#Spotify#taste of sky ☁️
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Quackity was right to kill off cQ 100%, and not just as a way to be fully done with dsmp and the racist loser fuckass that's the face of it
cQuackity deserves the rest. cSlime is right hes. tired. so fucking tired and burnt out.
he was wronged so extensively over and over until he became no different than the people who hurt him and he knew this, he was aware of it every second he lived whether he acknowledged it or not
there comes a point where youre in too deep and he was and he knew it. so he tied up his loose ends (saying goodbye to Slime) and doubled down on his suicide bc for horrible people like him with so much blood and corruption on his hands and so much destruction and unhappiness around him no matter how many bandaids he slaps on that flesh wound, thats the way out. and its tragic but true. he was as much a villain as he was a victim in the end
there was never gonna be a cQ redemption arc. i dont necessarily think he was utterly irredeemable but it was simply a route that doesnt fit the character.
because what would a "happy ending" for cQ even look like?
he had no one else after Slime left, hes incapable of trusting anyone including himself, hes TERRIFIED of giving up even an increment of control, the only home he has is a giant monument of how long and hard he tried to bury his trauma and grief and anger and how desperately he tried to escape everything he went through by burying it in exaggerated grandeur and riches and power
surrounded by loved ones we trust is usually what we think of when we hear happy ending. cQ is more or less incapable of that, he has no loved ones to speak of and no ability to trust people. being alone and "at peace" can be a happy ending, but alone isnt peace to cQ, he'd likely just dwell on everything that's haunted him for so long. making something thats all their own and built with their own two hands is another common happy ending. cQ did that and it was a sham and only caused him more pain.
he was fucking tired and too deep in everything he learned to believe after everything he went through. a final rest where no one can hurt him anymore and he doesnt have to fake his happiness and stability and protect himself with mostly-fake power and wealth is whats right for him. its fucked up but that's the reality. he's a tragic character
i'm personally super satisfied with the endings he chose for these characters of his and i've heard about way too many people who are being way too negative about it. and an obscene amount of people who apparently hate-watched the stream. i will honestly just be blocking those people. i loved what Quackity did and i think cQ's end makes sense.
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Drabble List #8
75 prompts to write drabbles or longer stories.
"Just one of those days, I guess."
"This makes it easier to identify them."
"Have you ever had friendship bracelets?"
"Feel free to walk all over me."
"You're the one stirring the pot."
"I feel like you don't actually believe me."
"What a tragedy this is."
"This will be permanent."
"Oh well, nothing I can do about it now."
"The media is lying to you - and so is everyone else."
"Just gonna pretend I didn't hear that."
"Silly me to assume you would care."
"You should clean the mess you make."
"My life is amazing, it really is."
"Nothing to complain here."
"I can't believe that we finally made it."
"Thank you so much for this opportunity."
"Mark my words, this will not end cute."
"Have you looked in the mirror lately?"
"You look hot, mama."
"Can you bail me out? Please?"
"What a silly thing to say."
"So, this is it? Really?"
"It will never be truly over."
"That is a fascinating tattoo that you have."
"You're going to jail for this."
"What a dramatic exit."
"I know your friends."
"A seat will be assigned to you shortly."
"Here is a list of all the ways you are wrong."
"We should talk about what happened."
"Do you have your ticket ready?"
"I'm sorry, but our personal goals just don't match up."
"The boxes are all labeled incorrectly."
"Well, you should've listened to me."
"Tragic. That outfit is a disaster."
"I'm sitting front row. I always do."
"Oh you silly little thing."
"What is your star sign?"
"I'm not who you think I am."
"Can't say I'm that surprised."
"Truly legendary."
"Please, sing for me!"
"You are a true party pooper."
"No means don't even try."
"I want to find my soulmate."
"Just forget what you heard."
"Why does this always happen to me?"
"Let's go out for a cheap dinner."
"I don't want to hear about it."
"This must be a joke. Not very good one."
"A list of all the times I was right."
"I can't control my dreams."
"Finally, some common sense."
"Throw me under the bus while you're at it."
"What a wonderful surprise."
"Poor judgement is what it is."
"I was just defending myself."
"Fine, but this will be the last time."
"Oh, that's too bad."
"I will take that as a yes."
"Did we meet before?"
"Sell me your story."
"What's the point in all of this?"
"I couldn't see what actually happened."
"Can you lend me some money?"
"So start from the beginning."
"Truly, a flawless plan."
"I haven't done this in forever."
"Let's have some fun."
"What an icon."
"Make me believe it."
"It's an investment."
"There will be an extra fee included."
"Let's go back. Nothing to do here anymore."
Drabble Masterlist
Have fun creating and writing!
If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee! And check out my Instagram! 🥰
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It's sad to me that if the Milgram cases were Real with ALL the character traits/situational factors being the Same and we analyzed the people the same way we do the characters, we'd all be mocked and degraded for humanizing these "muderers" (except MAYBE Shidou and Yuno but that's not even beginning to touch the other end of the spectrum; some of the patronizing the fans do of characters reflect their real-life sense of "pity" etc.)
Like obviously people are gonna be wary about actions that lead to Death but tbh ALL THESE MURDERS WERE PREVENTABLE WITH BETTER SOCIETAL STRUCTURES
this wasn't supposed to be a long post but fuck it
Haruka needed a caretaker and a care team who understood his emotional and physical needs; he was neglected and compared instead, left to cope with intensely painful emotions alone.
Yuno is highly isolated and seeks feelings of warmth and closeness in quick gratification, because giving your heart to someone else in a selfish world is dangerous; she needed honesty and realness, and also an economy that doesn't make men's objectification of her an ideal career choice.
Fuuta is also highly isolated and has extremely punitive views; his "community" was built on vitriol instead of good faith.
Muu is a neglected teen who lashed out as a result of the social structures she and her friends perpetuated; a culture of perfectionism and hierarchal notions make desperation to stay "on top" explosive.
Shidou shouldn't live in a world where he has to "deceive" people to help transplant patients, or suffer with guilt over his own family; a culture of death acceptance and genorosity would help him overcome these horrible feelings.
Mahiru had her mind fixated on a highly commercialized/mainstream idea of "love" and "romance," wrapping her self-worth in it to the point where she pulled another down; had her partner been honest with her, in a world where saving face and repression wasn't more important than communicating, they could have been at peace with or without each other.
Kazui was forced by the expectations of others to play a role he never wanted to, and another human's hopes and dreams were wrapped up in this role; his "failure" to be a husband to her as a straight man would not have even been an issue in a world where everyone can explore themselves without shame.
Amane was raised with cult ideology and shown immense levels of violence for a child to comprehend; she should have been protected, and a world where safety is more important than ideology would have saved their whole family.
Mikoto was heavily abused to the point where "survive by any means necessary" is on the table; everyone involved in his "murder" would have been better off showing a lot more compassion to others AND themselves.
Kotoko, though no "tragic backstory" that we know of, has always known that this world and that people in it can be violent and cruel; giving them a taste of their own medicine wouldn't be so bad if the medicine weren't so horrible to begin with.
If this world sought understanding before judgement, Es would not have the weight of 10+ worlds on their shoulders.
But if the world wasn't this way, we wouldn't have Milgram.
So it goes.
#milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#mikoto kayano#amane momose#kazui mukuhara#mahiru shiina#shidou kirisaki#muu kusunoki#fuuta kajiyama#yuno kashiki#haruka sakurai#es milgram#tagging everyone bc i rarely analyze some of these guys#oh the horrors#milgram project
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Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)
In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.
Jackieshauna
Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.
The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.
Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.
There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.
One word to describe them: Possession
Their best scene: Their last fight
"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."
“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”
“No…”
"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”
Taivan
Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.
Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it’s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.
In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.
It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.
One word to describe them: Devotion
Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)
“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”
“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”
“I love you, too.”
Lottienat
Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.
Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.
Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.
There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.
One word to describe them: Tension
Their best scene: The bathtub scene
"Good game, you fucking loser."
"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."
Lottielee
So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.
I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.
Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.
Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.
One word to describe them: Acceptance
Their best scene: The lake baptism
"I saw fire— a light."
"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."
Mistynat
This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.
At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.
While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.
It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!
One word to describe them: Unpredictable
Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke
"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"
Lottieshauna
Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.
Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.
Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.
One word to describe them: Cathartic
Their best scene: The beatdown
"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."
Travnat
There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.
When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.
Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.
One word to describe them: Trauma-bond
Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug
"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."
Jackienat
On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.
At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.
If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.
And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.
They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.
One word to describe them: Jealousy
Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones
"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."
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And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).
#I am heartbroken to leave Shaunanat (Shaunat? Shat?) out of this list but they only have 68 works ao3#I’m sure that number is going to skyrocket after S3#I tried to be unbiased but i just couldnt help but write a whole book about lottienat#yellowjackets#lottienat#mistynat#jackieshauna#Taivan#Lottielee#Travnat#lottieshauna#lottielee
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