#never gonna be okay ever again

[go-to-the-mirror]

It's time, y'all!! The penultimate episode of season 4!! Jmart!!!

Uh, didn't draw anything again, but whatever. I mean. I dunno. Shrug.

it's time, now. episode 159. this is going to make me feel emotions.

this is mostly rambling.

@a-mag-a-day

CW for unreality; discussion of free will; second person POV (i keep doing it); potentially anxiety inducing rambling (don't know how this happened, related to the "you don't know the people you love" thing);

The title "The Last" could either a nod to Peter's line "You're the last one standing" or it could be... well... the last mark.

Hated it when I figured that out. Absolutely despised it.

ARCHIVIST (Calling) Martin! (Calling) Martin!

I'm sorry we're like five second in and it's just like hhh, he's in love, he's looking for Martin, love is real and Jon has it! It just makes me so abnormal when it's like, he's not even saying anything it's just! Aaa!! *points frantically*

PETER It’s odd, really. You each think you’re so focused on the other. But how much do you really know each other? How much time have you spent together when not working, or bickering, or fleeing from that latest thing that wants to kill you? So what are you seeking? The image you’ve each created of the other? The people you think you love don’t exist, not really. And that’s a very lonely place to be. ARCHIVIST (Vicious) Shut up. (calling) Martin!

Firstly, yeah, I feel that. I mean like, don't want to overshare or anything, but yeah.

You know how your head's always like "but they wouldn't like me if they knew the real me!" Mate, there is no real you. Like Sasha said, right, it's all just people playing characters. And sometimes those characters feel like you, but they're all made up of things in your head and memories you've had and at the end of the day, are we all not puppets pulled along by circumstance, fooling ourselves into thinking we have choices and identities. I think I need to put a CW on this-

I mean, that's attempted optimistic nihilism. What about... if you do a good job keeping up the charade, they'll never find out it's not the real you, but you will never be truly loved.

Wow, that helps less. Do not come here for advice.

ARCHIVIST (Mean) Make me. (considering) Unless you can’t. The Lonely and the Eye aren’t too far apart, are they? Not really. What good’s being alone if you don’t know how alone you truly are. Which means… Well, I think you’re worried. You know I’ll find him eventually and you know I can find you. (Beat) Hm. Thought so.

Damn, judgmental. Just the note "mean". I- rude??

Also, secondly, I'm saying this as someone with social anxiety and consequent... isolationist tendencies (read: I didn't talk to anyone for a whole summer) but the Ceaseless Watcher and The One Alone have always felt really... connected to me.

I mean, what better way to feel alone than to be convinced everyone's judging you. You convince yourself everyone wants you gone, you just barely hear them say your name as you leave the room.

Everyone's looking at you, you can't go in now, so better to remain unnoticed. Better to not go at all. Better to hide yourself away and never be seen under gazes that make want to tear your skin off.

Social Anxiety: the fear entity

I mean like, just like take MAG 188 and make it a little more also about how achingly lonely you feel but opening yourself up is hard and evil and people will look at you and perceive you and judge you and you've got both The Eye and The Lonely combined and my personal hell. Maybe throw in a bit of Corruption there, for the whole "woe upon woe, if they could see my rotten inner core full of being mean to people then they would hate me even more."

The Corruption is so cool, you guys, but you wouldn't get it, you wouldn't get how cool it is (I mean, you might, please talk to me about the corruption /genuine)

ARCHIVIST Martin. MARTIN (Flat) Jon? ARCHIVIST I-I’m here. I-I came for you. MARTIN Why? ARCHIVIST …I thought you might be lost.

AAAAAAAAA

The way Jon says "Martin," he sounds so relieved, hnhnrhnhrnhrr <3

HHHHHh!!!!

THE WAY JON SAYS THE LAST LINE IS SO SOFT IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO BE THIS SOFT ISTG <33333

MARTIN Are you real?

He sounds so bitter when he says that, like he's mocking the idea that Jon could be real. Oh my god.

MARTIN This is where I should be. It feels right. ARCHIVIST Martin don’t say that. MARTIN Nothing hurts here. It’s just quiet. Even the fear is gentle here.

MARTIN NO

I get it though, you know, when being alone is the lesser of two evils. Like, what is it out there? Just more pain and fear and loss when it's so much easier to just stay there and fade away and never move and never get out of your room, and never talk to anyone and it's just so much easier, right. When it feels like it's a physical effort to drag yourself everywhere? When it's oh, so comfortable, out there in the cold.

You know, to me loneliness isn't fog or anything. To me it's around noon. The sky is mostly clear, the grass is slightly itchy, you're squinting against the glare of the sun. It's silent, bar the wind and the birds and your breathing. And then you suddenly realise you're alone. And there's no one there. And the warmth is making you tired. And sometimes you can say it's nice, lying on the ground under the sun like a lizard. And sometimes it just feels sad.

I like that the lonely is at the sea. The ocean just makes me feel strange emotions that I can't explain. Nice aesthetic too, fog and sea, lighter colours, blues and greys.

But I like my lonely quite a bit. It just feels... it feels like the lonely to me. Idk.

MARTIN It is, though. I really loved you, you know?

LOVE WINS????

PETER I tried to tell you. He’s gone. He made his choice. And it wasn’t you. ARCHIVIST It was for me, though. I’m the reason he— I did this to him as much as you.

Nononononono jon mr. jarchivist sims. NO! Alright, you know what, bringing in my brain here. No! Nooo! Alright, sure, you dying may have made him lonely, but you can't seriously blame yourself for dying - I know he blames himself for dying - and like coming back to life and stuff? He may have done it for Jon, but that doesn't put the blame on Jon. It puts the blame on... I don't know! Death! The world! Peter Lukas, but I'm loathe to blame him for anything because I really like his voice.

I have other things to say about this but tbh, I just think I have problems, and I've already shared so much absolutely terrible advice earlier, so I'm not going to perpetuate my probably harmful (in like a... this is a thought your brain could have! think about it! wow, doesn't it suck! this will stay here tho! way) thoughts, sooo.

PETER Where are your friends, Archivist? ARCHIVIST Tim and Sasha are dead. PETER Yes? ARCHIVIST Daisy and Basira are, probably dead. PETER Because. Of. You. ARCHIVIST Georgie and Melanie have left me. PETER And? ARCHIVIST Martin’s gone. PETER You’re alone, Archivist. The last one standing.

Got distracted playing piano, uh, :( this just makes me really sad. guy's literally living out my worst nightmare (all your friends either dying or leaving you, some telling you they'd literally rather you be dead, like god that hurts).

I just want him to get a hug :(

PETER After all, you can’t hurt anyone in here. ARCHIVIST …Yes… PETER Yes.

That would've probably worked had he not... yk, been there for Martin? And like, sort of... as he was trying to get into Jon's head sort of... revealing what he was?

Hmm

ARCHIVIST I wouldn’t try to leave if I were you. I can see you now. I can find you wherever you go.

Kinda... uh... hmm... hhnnmmm

Hot jon rights

My crew is out there waiting for a call I think I am now unlikely ever to give them.

Oh, right, because of the imminent eyepocolypse. I thought it was because he thought he'd die to jon

My instinct was much like the others, I thought that if I could complete my ritual first, then the potential birth of the dreadful change would be meaningless.

reminds me of

Smirke was still so obsessed with his ideas on balance, even as our fellows began to experiment and fall to the service of their patrons. I began to worry that if one of them successfully attempted their ritual, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world. At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable transformation was to bring it about myself.

(MAG 160)

So, it's like a rerun of all those rituals, but 1900s and 2000s edition, instead of 1800s.

On Peter's ritual... it's not all Lonely, right? Could be Vast. Buried, maybe? What with the whole "you can never escape your work."

Also, it sounds... terrifying.

If I could convince one of his staff to willingly pledge themselves to the Lonely, it was all mine. He even let me pick the victim. He was so sure the prize of the Institute, the Panopticon, and a willing vessel to use it would be just too much for me to resist. And he was right. Just didn't go quite as I'd hoped.

What is it with these evil old men and using people as poker chips! Like, why!

ARCHIVIST And what was his prize? What did he get if you lost? PETER Oh, he got you.

Like, if making a bet where you win this freshly traumatised by the lonely guy isn't the worst thing that elias has done - and somehow it fucking isn't - then you know that like, very evil. and awful. like. kinda dehuminising don't you think? kinda fucked. what the fuck.

ARCHIVIST Tell me.

The way he says it is interesting. Just... flatly, not even a demand, just... "tell me."

I like it. I think it's neat.

PETER (Fighting) I’m… not saying… another… word. ARCHIVIST Tell me or I will rip it out of you! [Both statics keep increasing in volume] PETER No! ARCHIVIST (With all his power) ANSWER MY QUESTION! PETER NO!! LEAVE! ME! (Echoing) ALONE! ARCHIVIST TELL ME! [The statics crescendo; there is the sound of electric tearing and Peter screams as he is conceptually ripped apart]

HOT JON RIGHTS!!! YEAH!!!! WOOOH!!! KILL HIM!!!!

I THINK THAT PART IS VERY COOL! FUCK YEAH DUDE, RIP SOMEONE APART WITH YOUR EVIL POWERS!!

ARCHIVIST Listen, I know you think you want to be here. I know you think it’s safer, and… well maybe it is. But we need you. I need you.

MARTIN We – I need you.

(MAG 120.2)

HHHHH THEY KEEP REPEATING EACH OTEHRS WORDS AND MAKING ME WANT TO CRY!!!

ARCHIVIST Martin. Martin look at me. (compelling) Look at me and tell me what you see. [Hissing static starts] MARTIN I see… I see you, Jon. (Small disbelieving laugh from Martin) (Martin’s voice stops shifting side to side, and no longer echoes) MARTIN (CONT’D) I see you.

THIS- THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE MOMENT

chills, literal chills. fuckin' love it so much, you don't even know

im just gonna. im just gonna be here crying it such a good

[ID: Drawing of a person sitting at a computer, crying. /End ID]

ARCHIVIST Not anymore. Come on. Let’s go home. MARTIN How? ARCHIVIST Don’t worry. I know the way.

ITS SO SOFT ITS SO SOFT ITS SO FUCKING SOFT I LOVE THIS EPISODE I LOVE THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES "Don't worry. I know the way." ITS SO SOFT THE WAY HE SAYS IT IM GOING TO CRY IM GOING TO CURL UP INTO A LITTLE BALL AND CRY YOUR HONOUR THEYRE IN LOVE YOUR HONOUR THEIR LOVE GOT THEM OUT OF THE LONELY LOVE WINS YAY IM GONNA GO CRY NOW SLASH POS

this is over. im not crying but dear god is it close. look forward to tomorrow where i'll do more than ramble. i love jmart so much you guys i love them so much they love each other so much <3

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Suddenly, bell bottoms aren't so bad

Bonus sketch, because I had to vv

"Stop checking out my assistant, Stanley."

[oh-snapperss]

creature comfort

“We won’t win today,” Cleo says, and Etho knows she’s right. Knows their time has been running out since the first secret was whispered to them in voices all too familiar, has known that this day was coming, has known that all this time, it’s not been a question of if–it’s been a question of when. 

They’re going to die today. Distantly, Etho wonders if the domesticity they’ve worked for will die with them, or if it will follow them back home. 

Will his home ever be a physical place again? Home is where the hearth is, where the warmth is, where the world is shut out and it’s just the three of them. 

Home is where Cleo is. 

“That’s alright,” Etho smiles instead of voicing all of that, wishing, of all things, that he didn’t still have that awful cough that Cleo had insisted he rest over for a few days. “We’ll be alright.” 

They’ll be dead–and what are the dead, if not alright? The dead don’t have coughs, or pain, or fear. They’re just dead. Etho thinks he might not mind it so much, this time. He’s finally learned to spend his time wisely, and he’s built a home no flaming arrow could ever take down. 

Just by the cow pen, there’s a stupid little porch Etho had built a while back. They’re nowhere near it now, but every night he and Cleo had watched the sunset, drank a final cup of tea, and turned in to sleep over gossip and giggles only they could draw from each other this time ‘round. Before, Bdubs had made him laugh like that–now, Etho wonders how long before there’s a sword at his throat. 

Even so, while Cleo laughs and watches him set Scar’s porch on fire, Etho hopes he might have the privilege of watching the sunset from the porch one last time. He’d survive the day, if only for another sunset with Cleo. 

BANG. 

Tango’s gone–Etho knows it in his heart. Surely he should feel an ache for him, should ask how he went. Instead, it’s easy to accept it. 

The wardens are fun. That’s all they are, now. Before, they had been terrors, then the answer to a desperate prayer he and Grian had made. The carnage of those terrifying beasts feel muted compared to before, but with the wind flying through his hair, the elated cries of Cleo in front of him, Etho can’t care. Not this time. They lead two clear to the middle of the server before they’ve decided to finish having their fun, and Cleo’s just stepping up some rocks when she says it. 

“You’re my favorite, you know that? You’ve always been my favorite.” 

He does know, he does know now. He’d guessed it that first sunset, when Cleo sat down with a giddy smile to recount their day. He’d thought it, when she’d wrapped a blanket around his shoulders after his failures and rested her head on his shoulder without a word. He’d lived it, when she had shouted that she would kill him if he tried to kill her–but was reassured otherwise that night on the porch again, with the curse ebbing from his bones. 

Today, he knows it in the blatant rebellion against what’s supposed to be the end, the dread, the fear. 

“You’re mine too.” Etho grins back, and knows that they’ll see his smile even through the mask–knows they’ve come to recognize it in his tone and way his eyebrows scrunch together. . 

They wind up in the sky base with Grian–Grian, who hasn’t quite reached the same conclusion they have. Etho knows by the shadows under his eyes he won’t give up, that he’ll fight clear to the end. Once upon a season, Etho had been the same. 

Not this time. Never this time. 

Around ten minutes to sunset, Etho and Cleo set down their dripstone and bows, and sit on the edge of the cobblestone wall. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it back to our base for it this time,” Etho jokes, nudging his shoulder into Cleo’s. Cleo laughs, a carefree thing, and wrinkles her nose. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it back for it any time, if we’re being honest.” She leans back, one hand half behind her to support her weight. 

“I know,” Etho says. He brings his leg up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it. Behind them, cobblestone is placed–Grian, ever the survivor. “It was nice, though.” 

“It was nice!” Cleo beams. “Are you alright with this?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Etho hums. “‘s not so bad. Dying with a friend.” 

“It won’t be,” Cleo agrees. 

Because that’s just it, isn’t it? Etho’s never died like this–he’s died at the flames of an arrow shot while protecting his king, he’s died in fights after his allies were killed. Hell, he’s died hand in hand with a soulmate hellbent on killing him now–but he’d been in a frenzy then, a rage-induced thing meant to burn up the place that had never been a true home to them. 

He thinks he won’t mind dying with someone. 

The sun sets in brilliant hues of orange and pink, and they sit together, this final tradition not lost in the face of inevitability. Just as the first star twinkles, Grian comes over, hoisting them back to their feet. 

“They’re coming,” he says. 

It’s time. 

They shoot a few arrows, break some dripstone, all to no avail–but that’s alright, he’s got Cleo, and they’ve got him. 

But oh, the games are never kind, are they? Etho slips, his foot landing weird somehow–and he’s whistling through the air towards the ground at a speed too fast. It knocks the breath from his lungs when he lands–does he hit the clutch? Stars, he doesn’t actually know, because there’s arrows shot at him, shouts of glee from the hunters, and suddenly Etho’s not Etho, he’s just prey–and prey only know to do one thing. 

Run. 

Etho flies forward, dragging his sword out. There’s not many safe spaces left on the server–stars, Grian had even mentioned their base was but a crater in the hill. 

But the porch… the porch was intact. Supposedly. 

He enderpearls, and enderpearls again, and it’s still not enough. The screams behind him are closer, and closer, and then further–and oh, Etho knows it’s time. He’s dead, he’s gone, he’ll be but a wisp of the wind in a few minutes whether he likes it or not. 

And he won’t die by Cleo. 

Cleo, Cleo, Cleo. Oh, he’d not meant it to be like this. He’d meant to die with a smile, right by her side–just as they were meant to die by his. This wasn’t the plan, this wasn’t the plan. A sob claws its way up his throat, the beginnings of the blind panic he’d never meant to feel tonight. He’s going to die, alone, without the comfort of his Cleo. 

Home. He wants to go home. 

Home is in the air, a hundred blocks above him. He’ll never make it–but he can make it back to the porch, the one place of peace. Now, he can feel the twinge of something broken in his ankles, probably from the fall–and the cuts, the bruises, the blood scent thick in his nose. He’s so tired. 

He wants to die at home, he wants to die at home. 

“Oh, he sounds like a wounded animal… let’s put him out of his misery.” A voice said. Cold fear grips Etho’s heart, and he stumbles forward–the porch is in sight!

Let him die at home. Let him die at home. 

A shadow fills his vision, and Etho’s not even had time to lift his shield before blinding pain fills his stomach, and it’s over. 

He’s not allowed that creature comfort of dying at home. 

[b1mbodoll]

um. can i say somethinf

[transphilza]

“some stuff was said about me online” thats how ur gonna refer to it?? good lord man

[socksandbuttons]

looking and staring at the fact bloodmoons jealous of lunar being brought back but not him but also disregarding the entirety LUNAR was the one to promise him a body.

[cardinal-hexation]

I don’t wanna talk about it

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Understanding

Hey @spotaus !! As promised :3 I got a little something for you!

Your drabble got me thinking and made me consider something. (also i am so sorry if i got the ages wrong. I really tried)

As always. Feel free to use whatever you want from it or just ignore what doesn't fit <3 I am just having fun and it is meant as a gift for you <3 (also to motivate you to keep writing more about it!)

*------------------------*

Nightmare gets off his horse as he stares at the castle.

Well. His castle now.

He is still not quite used to that. Refering to it with his castle instead of his mother's.

Even after almost 12 months. He still doesn't expect to see himself in the mirror. or maybe the problem is that he expects his old self. The young teen.

The weakling. The failure.

No focus.

He isn't that anymore. He now has the magic. He is the new powerful leader of his land. And he will make this work. Even if he still has no idea what he is doing.

No. He needs to get back and make sure no one tried to rebel against him. That no one tried to hurt Ccino while he was gone.

Nightmare gets off the horse and someone rushes over to take the horse. Nightmare stares at this person and figures out quickly it is the stablehand who has been taking care of the horses.

Nightmare looks over his shoulder and motions the new people to follow him. The set of brothers, the dog monster. and Killer.

Nightmare walks into the castle as he speaks "Some of the other servants will take you to your chambers to rest and clean up. Tomorrow the three of you will join some of my other staff to see what is needed and where you fit. Killer. You will-"

"My liege."

Nightmare blinks and looks over.

Ccino has appeared out of one of the servant secret passages and walks straight towards him. Nightmare can see, and feel, when Ccino takes in the new people and just who they are.

Ccino's face turns a bit harder and Nightmare can feel the annoyance and frustration in the air "My liege!" Ccino smiles brightly as he speaks "Have you eben succesfull in finding a possible knight?"

Killer chuckles behind him and mutters "someone is in trouble~"

Nightmare knows Killer is being sarcastic. But if only Killer knew how right he was.

Nightmare however could never be worried or afraid off Ccino. For him? Maybe. But never because of him. He gives a tiny nod. The only amount of respect their places and ranks allow them when others are near "Ccino." He waves into the direction of the new arrivals "These people will join my workers." He looks at the four new arrivals "This. Is Ccino. He is head of the house." a title that will never pass away from him. Not as long as Nightmare is in charge.

Ccino nods "Pleasure." he looks back at Nightmare "My liege. If you have the time. There is a matter we need to discuss."

Oh yeah. Nightmare is very much in trouble.

Nightmare's voice is still calm as he speaks "Very well. I will meet you in my study after i made sure they go to their chambers."

Ccino feels unamused but he nods with a bow before he leaves the hall with a quick turn.

Nightmare turns back to his new... servants? He never quite liked that word but it works. He turns to his servants and feel his tentacles slowly rise from their position on the ground. They slowly start to idle again as he makes sure the new people learn where their rooms are and where to get food.

He brings Killer to a room more seperate from the others. Beyond the guard positions. Just because Nightmare wants to give him a chance and the fact he doesn't fear him is refreshing doesn't make Nightmare forget how dangerous Killer is.

Fuck this was a mistake.

What if Killer hurts people here?

What if he hurts Ccino?

Killer looks around his room before lounging on the bed "So what is the deal with the other skeleton?" he grins and wiggles his eye brows "Little secret going on there?"

Ngihtmare needs a moment as he wonders what Killer could mean. Then it sinks in and Nightmare feels his tentacles all spasm as he shudders "No." the answer is final and harsh. Killer actually looks surprised.

Nightmare holds his sight and speaks slowly "I will only repeat this once and remember this well. I don't like having to repeat myself." he holds Killer's gaze "Ccino is head of the house. He will remain head of the house. Nothing anyone can say or do will change this." he holds his gaze before straightening himself again as he moves towards the door "Tomorrow we will start training."

Kilelr sputters "We?!"

Nightmare stops and shoots him a look "Obviously. How am I to keep track of your skills and promise if i don't oversee the training myself?" and he leaves the room.

He hurries back through th castle towards his study. Sinking in and out of shadows as his mind, body and soul all know where he wishes to go.

He stops by his study and enters it.

Ccino is already in there. Studying the old masks in the special glass casing.

Nightmare closes the door and Ccino turns to him with a glare "What were you thinking?"

Nightmare gets taken back to a year or two prior. When he was still small. When he had cut himself to practise for the ritual. He hadn't been able to sleep and had been nervous about the apple ritual already. He had wanted to practise his part. to perform a blood oath to promise loyalty until death to his twin.

Ccino had caught him with a knife out.

Nightmare blinks back into the here and now as Ccino looks at him expecting with his arms crossed.

Nightmare blinks as he looks to the side for a moment. How is it that even wiht him being taller than Ccino he still feels small compared to him? "They were innocent."

Ccino looks unimpressed as he crosses his arms "Now with less lies."

Nightmare blinks and shoot his traitorous tendrils a look. No doubt they did something to give his little slight lie away. Ccino jsut raises a brow as he taps his foot.

Nightmare speaks again "Most of them were innocent. I didnt want them to get hang for something they did not do."

Ccino hums as he waits "And the murderer?"

Nightmare looks at Ccino "how did you know?"

Ccino sighs but has a small smile on his face. an old fond feeling as ccino looks at him and the tiny part of nightmare that had been stressed relaxes. Ccino just keeps looking slightly amused "There is a reason i told you to get out more. you only hear so many things from people in the castle nightmare. You need to go out to hear everything from everyone. I know who he is because i go to the market sometimes."

nightmare gives aslow nod as he looks away. So Ccino knows that nightmare brought a serial killer home. great.

Ccino sighs and sits on the couch for visitors and Nightmare joins him instead of sitting in his own chair.

Ccino looks at him "Just... tell me what happened. Why did you decide this?"

Ngihtmare looks at his hands. again slightly shocked to see the goop. It never stains anything yet it feels like a reminder. It is dirty. it isn't the holy light the powers promised. it is weird and looks diseased which is fitting for him. someone who betrayed everyone. who betrayed his twin. He may have gone it to protect dream. But even dream doesn't see this.

Where does that leave him?

Ccino's hand rubs his cheek and Nightmare shakes himself out of it. Ccino looks so worried as he rubs his skull "Hey... it is okay... i am not mad at you. I am worried about you. I am sorry if it seemed like i was mad."

Nightmare knows ccino isn't mad at him. Not like that at least. Nightmare can feel that. But he likes that ccino still tells him as much too.

Nightmare sighs as he leans into the gentle hold and touch. Ccino had always been one of the few to hold him. As his and Dream's babysitter it had been his job. But Ccino had always truly cared about them both. The moment that Nightmare could feel emotions he had been shocked by that.

That Ccino held no hatred for him. Not even a little bit. He enver blamed either Nightmare or Dream for his situation.

Nightmare speaks softly "The... kngihts you picked out. they were amazing. They showed much promise and would have made fine warriors."

Ccino hums as he keeps rubbing his skull "But?"

Nightmare sighs "They hated me. Even if with time they would eventually grow loyal and accept their place. They would forever hold resentment towards me for making them come."

Ccino hums and nods "I get it. It were only options Ngihtmare. there will be more people who fit the job."

Nightmare feels another part of him relax. knowing that Ccino still understands him "Killer wasn't afraid."

Ccino hums questioning.

Nightmare speaks slowly "He wasn't afraid. Not of me. Not of his situation. He stood up when near me. He didn't cower and he didn't hide." he sighs as he leans into the hug. He shouldn't need these anymore. He is an adult now and not that awkward young teen anymore. Nightmare shouldn't still count this much on the other "He saw me and didn't hate me. He knew who i was and didn't hate me. It was... new."

Ccino still feels unsure but he holds him still "And that gave you hope? That maybe if soemone didn't start with that hatred they could maybe become truly loyal?"

Ngihtmare shrugs. He isn't quite sure. he didn't think that far ahead. He just didn't want to lose another person who didn't hate him.

Ccino sighs as he keeps rubbing his skull and the back of his neck "I won't say i trust him. Because i don't. And I worry about you. I am scared he will end up hurting you."

Nightmare rolls his eyes as he answers "I have yet to even lose a fight and i had almost no training." all because of his tentacles and his newfoudn power.

Ccino just holds him tighter "There are more ways someone can hurt you Nightmare."

Nightmare feels the fear of before return. THe idea that somoene would kill Ccino. "If... if him being here makes you feel unsafe i will return him to the guards."

Ccino laughs and shakes his skull "Ngihtmare I am fine. I am not scared for me."

Nightmare keeps holding him as he feels himself start to shake. fears he had been trying to ignore and push away return to the front of his mind "Waht if they realise just how important you are? What if they try to hurt you to hurt me? What if they kill you to hurt me? Ccino maybe it is better if you hide." hide... hide away... out of sight out of mind.

Ccino just rubs his neck "It is okay Nightmare. It is okay. They don't know. and even if they have an idea your reputation adn the past of this country will just make them think I am someone who will be used as sacrifice last. That i will be punished last or least."

Nightmare shakes as he keeps holding the one person who remained "What if they hurt you because of me?"

Ccino is so calm and sure "then it would be on them. Not you. You don't want others to hurt me. It wouldn't be your fualt Nightmare and I will never see it as your fault. It is okay."

Ngihtmare still feels unsure. He made it obviously clear to Killer that Ccino is improtant. Killer is smart and Nightmare has no idea what he could be planning.

Another thought enters his mind. Somethign he had found early on in his ruling.

A very very damning piece of paper. a slave contract.

Nightmare speaks softly "I am sorry you are stuck here..."

Ccino shrugs as he keeps rubbing his back "Not your fault."

Nightmare shakes as he holds him "I.... I can undo it... I can give you back your freedom..."

Ccino had been taken from his home. Sold to the castle with a very clear purpose. First to be a babysitter. and later... well... Drema had been planning to be all powerful and go from young teen to adult in just one ritual. There is a reason Ccino's age had been only 6 years older than them.

Ccino had been suposed to be Dream's from the very start.

Ccino hums "A nice thought. Not that i thought about that contract in a long time. It hardly matters nowadays. Not like I can just leave."

Nightmare feels his grip tighten and his tendrils curl around them. He doesn't want to let go of the one person who cared. The one person he could count on to help him. To give a single shit about Nightmare. But... but how long will it take before Ccino starts hating him? If Nightmare keeps him here?

Nightmare holds him close "I... I can get you a horse... I can give you gold..." He will just use some of the treasury. Ccino deserves it. "I can send some guards with you on your way. You could go wherever you want. Back to your family."

Ccino locks both his arms around his skull and hums softly. an old lullaby and Nightmare stops. The amount of memories almost hurt. It was always Ccino who held him on bad nights. Or when he was sad. Or when everyone pushed him aside again.

Ccino speaks sfotly "Nightmare. When I say i can't leave i don't mean i physically can't leave. It means i don't want to. I decided a while ago i want to stay here Nightmare."

Nightmare shakes but refuses to let go "What... what about your family?" Ccino's fmaily have to love him. Ccino is so amazing. There is no way he isn't missed dearly after he was stolen from them.

Ccino sighs sadly "Nightmare... They have been killed a long time ago. The day i was taken the guards made sure i knew there was nothing to return to. even if i ran." Ngihtmare feels himself freeze. why... why had he thought?

Ccino rubs his skull "It hurt a lot but i accepted a long time ago Nightmare. I accepted that you two were my family now... and well... now it is just you. and it is okay. I am okay with that. I will always support you Nightmare." he grins "You may be older now but i like to think i am still the older brother."

Nightmare feels aprt of himself break as he just sinks fully into Ccino's hold "please don't also leave me." it is weak. it is pathetic. He should be stronger than this. He should have been prepared for this.

Ccino just covers his skull wiht his body and holds him "I am not going anywhere Nightmare. I will be by your side. I swear on my soul."

Nightmare relaxes and lets himself enjoy the comfort he should not need this badly. He enjoys it and can't help but let his eyes slide around the room. His sight finds the masks and remembers.

The masks are the highest honour. only shared with those most special.

He thinks something catlike will fit his older brother.

[astrolotte]

Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔

(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)

((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))

(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))

[lostfanboyarts]

Moving forward, into a bright future.

Timelapse under the cut <3

[tei-to-tei]

Water Sage Donnie - Rise x TOTK

Upcoming Sages: Raph | Mikey | Leo

[fightwing]

the implication some version of animated teen tita.ns vaguely like ttg exists in comic canon.... i desperately need to know who in dick's life is a die hard show fan and how many times he rants he's 'not like that'

[coldlikethestars]

.

[brb-screaming-over-amphibia]

If I think abt sashannarcy for too long I’ll start crying actually

[harrowscore]

why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

something i really love about our flag means death, now that we know it's really done, is that i truly love every episode (every one, a perfect treasure to me!) and that i think the finale hits beautifully as an ending. i've endured so many finales that were such frustrating flop endings that they retroactively dimmed the whole series' shine for me, and it's lovely how that is not the case at all here. and even though i would have liked to see more for the supporting characters in particular, and even though ed and stede obviously have a ton more progress to make on themselves and their relationship, i feel like the main story -- ed and stede's story -- feels complete to me in a really rewarding way. i also like the structure of season one being stede's 'stupid puppet pulled it off!' season and season two being ed's; if it does have to be a show that only has two seasons, then that structure at least pleases me narratively!

and like, the story began when stede left his family to run away to sea, and it ends with him happily choosing to stay on land with the man who's his new family, and that just works for me as a beautiful full circle journey. 💗🏴‍☠️🦄