#neither should i even consider the villain of the main movies

[brainrotcharacters]

X Men First Class dropped years ago and I went in excited that there's backstory of Professor X and Magneto finally

Tell me why being attracted to young Professor X gave me bi panic

[gffa]

Hi!  I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be because my view of the sequel trilogy lives in kind of a nebulous space, where I really like the characters and I actually like a lot of the potential of the storyline, but I dislike TFA, greatly dislike TLJ, and was actually pretty okay with TROS all things considered. I don't want to dig too deep into the negativity of my feelings but they're basically - TFA was too much of a repainting of ANH for me, the initial shine of it was through its potential, but when that didn't pay off in the other movies, the shine came off TFA, too. - TLJ was set too close to TFA, Finn's character should have been tied into the Canto Bight plot (which was exhausting as it was), as a stolen child soldier he has the most reason to hate the rich, but absolutely nothing was done with him, Luke being on that island for that long was out of character for him, Rey's entire story became wrapped up in Kylo Ren, neither of those characters had nearly enough connections with others despite having very good reasons to, like why do we not spend more time on Luke & Kylo?? and it played at being subversive but it absolutely was not, it's all been done before (and I really hated the way Force abilities worked in the movie) and killing off your main villain in the second act was a baffling decision - TROS' biggest problem is that it should have been two movies instead of one, it was a series of trailers rather than a story with breathing room, and it suffered the most from the lack of planning + the main villain being killed off in the second movie But here's why I still like The Rise of Skywalker the best:  The bones of what's there are a pretty good Star Wars story!  Yes, Rey Palpatine came out of nowhere and was very silly, but if you can't handle silly, I don't know how you can make it as a Star Wars fan, it's such a silly franchise! I'm not afraid to love a scene I laugh out loud at--and, yeah, I laughed RIGHT OUT LOUD the first time Kylo dramatically said, "You're a Palpatine."  I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and let me tell you, I fucking LOVE that scene now. Or how the last words of any Skywalker, the last word Ben Solo/Kylo Ren ever says in the movies' franchise is, "Ow."  I am laughing RIGHT NOW, please, p l e a s e, that is so on-brand, I can't handle it, it's too funny. But I also like the basic storyline because Rey's story in TROS is her struggling with her own inner darkness, that she feels there's something dark in her soul because she's Palpatine's granddaughter.  The movie isn't saying that's true, but that Rey struggles with thinking it's true, and she has to wrestle with her dark side, just like every Jedi before her has as they're coming into their power. Anakin wrestled with his dark side and lost in Attack of the Clones and even worse in Revenge of the Sith. Luke wrestled with his dark side in the vision he sees of himself in Vader's helmet in the cave in ESB and in the climactic scene of ROTJ, where he nearly hacks his father's arm off in rage after his sister and friends are threatened.  He has to claw his way back out of that. Ezra Bridger struggles with the dark side in Rebels as he comes into his power and he has to claw his way out of it as well. Rey has to struggle with her own lure towards the dark side as she comes into her power--she rips a ship apart in the sky because she was so determined that Chewie was hers, she was so angry at Kylo that Force lightning burst out of her.  She's seeing Sith visions of herself on the wreckage of the Death Star.  This is a theme that has been there since the very beginning, that Jedi have to struggle through a temptation to the dark, and her relation to Palpatine preys on that. That's kind of why I wound up loving Ben's scene with Han as well, because that was an entirely imagined scene, but it represents that the way the Force works, you have to dig yourself out of the hole you're in, that Ben using the memory of his father, the last moments of connection he had with his mother, to pull himself out of the dark, really worked for me.  And I'm okay with his death, because this is Star Wars, people die before they should all the time. I even liked the political message of the final movie, yes, Rey vs Palpatine was the big Jedi vs Sith showdown, but the main galactic battle?  Had people showing up.  Just... people.  One of the themes I've talked a lot about, especially because The Clone Wars kind of has it as a running theme is that the average galactic citizen doesn't do jack shit about the state of the galaxy they live in.  The Rebellion had people starting to stand up, but it was an organized effort, it recruited people. TROS had just people showing up, that Leia and the Resistance had been trying to rally the cause, but ultimately it was the galactic public finally, finally saying, "We have to stand up and fight for ourselves, not depend on other people to do it."  Was it ham-fisted and not nearly as polished as it should have been?  Oh, no doubt.  But the message.  Just people showing up to fight against the First Order that was trying to bring back the Empire.  That meant a lot to me. And I loved Luke's character here, that he admitted when he was wrong, and gave us that banger line that's spot on:  "Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi."  Yes.  Yes.  FUCKING YES.  LUKE SKYWALKER AND JEDI PHILOSOPHY.  MY HEART.  Nailed it. Does this movie hang together as well as it should?  Absolutely not.  It needed a stronger writer, it needed more time than it got, and it needed better build-up.  But the bones of what was there were actually pretty good and, man, any movie that has Daisy Ridley in that white outfit with the hood where she looked practically ethereal cannot be all bad, in my opinion.

[sieclesetcieux]

On Saint-Just’s Personality: An Introduction

Saint-Just’s personality is deeply misunderstood.

Saint-Just was a very secretive person, and guarded his personality behind walls. It might come off as surprising, considering how he’s usually depicted, but he actually was very introverted and reserved at the Convention, at the Committee of Public Safety, and during his missions in Alsace and in the North.

He was also a very sensitive person. He didn’t take slights easily (neither did Robespierre). But unlike Robespierre, he was also extremely young and wanted to be taken seriously. He was building off from nothing. So he built his own “myth”: the man (re)born with the Revolution. He made his youth his advantage: he hadn’t been as corrupted as the others by the old ways. This is something that was used by other revolutionaries, for example Marc-Antoine Jullien, who was 19 years old in 1794. They would say their youth made them closer to “nature” – that is, the natural, uncorrupted state of humanity as defined by Enlightenment philosophy.

The Saint-Just people think they know via novels and movies doesn’t really exist. I can’t think of any fictional representation that accurately portrays him. How people think of Saint-Just is basically several different “fanon” interpretations, some built by his enemies, some built by people who did appreciate him but didn’t quite understand him – which didn’t help much in the end.

This is important to point out because in the end these are the sources we have to learn who Saint-Just was as a person:

What those who knew him wrote about him (sometimes writing many decades later, which naturally impacts memory)

The little insight we can gleam from the few personal notes he left here and there in notebooks (and an unsent letter) that were never meant to be read by anyone

I know this seems obvious, but people often forget that historical figures are not fictional characters. They were real, living, breathing, human beings. They were people, and people have flaws and contradictions. People don’t necessarily remain the same at 20 years old, at 25, at 30 and so forth. People change.

The Saint-Just who writes Organt before the Revolution isn’t the Saint-Just who writes L’Esprit de la Révolution et de la Constitution de France in 1790 and isn’t the Saint-Just who gets elected deputy to the Convention in 1792. The Saint-Just who writes an unsent letter to Villain d’Aubigny (usually dated of July 20 1792, though it’s a topic of debate) is a Saint-Just no one was supposed to see. Same with most of his personal notes they built the Fragments des Institutions républicaines with.

Most importantly of all, a person will appear different to different people in different contexts. It’s a matter of perspective.

If you only take Desmoulins’ and Hilary Mantel’s and Tanith Lee’s perspectives on Saint-Just, well, I’m sorry to say, that’s not Saint-Just. That’s a perspective of Saint-Just.

Moreover, Saint-Just has many faces, many images, many legends, some of which he created himself while he was alive.

Victor Hugo was influenced by the Romantic Historians of the French Revolution, Michelet and Lamartine specifically, and their descriptions of Saint-Just to create Enjolras.

This is how you can find this connection making it even through novels that don’t like Saint-Just very much:

“He has a mind of fire and a heart of ice.”

- Bertrand Barère on Louis-Antoine Saint-Just

“It is a thing unheard of that a man should be as cold as ice and as bold as fire.”           

- Bossuet on Enjolras, in Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

“...Camille felt an instant aversion, as to the touch of ice, which is what the young man most resembled. Chiseled from an ice floe.”

- Camille on Saint-Just, in Tanith Lee, The Gods Are Thirsty

Thus, even traces of this Saint-Just lives on in Tanith Lee's book.

Main testimonies

Most of them are here, in French, and some have been translated. If not, I will work on it. I will repost them on this tumblr as well, along with additional information about their author, their reliability, their personal biases, etc.

Sources by Saint-Just’s hand

While some revolutionaries have enough correspondence to fill entire volumes, Saint-Just comparatively left few letters behind. We do have one letter that gives incredible insight into his state of mind, but it’s important to remember this letter was never meant to be read by anyone. It was an unsent letter, found in his things after Thermidor, and then made public against his wishes, much like most of his personal notes. It is, however, an amazing letter nevertheless, but it’s important to keep this context in mind: he did not want you to see him like this.

Secondly, we have a lot of decrees he wrote during his missions. Though most don’t say very much, they do give clues on his personality, on his attitude, on his perspective. In some cases, he would write a quick postscript to a letter written by Le Bas and addressed to Maximilien Robespierre. Interestingly, while Le Bas would use the “vous” with Robespierre, and admitted to his wife Élisabeth he felt closer to Augustin than to Maximilien, Saint-Just always uses the “tu”. This isn’t just a matter of revolutionary zeal – the whole “vous vs tu” question during the Revolution is another, much more complicated story.

Finally, we have personal notes scattered through the manuscript that became known as the Fragments des Institutions républicaines. It’s a strange document to study and refer to. There is, indeed, a project he was working on concerning the Republican Institutions. There are at least two drafts. But the document has other things has well: from notes he later used in speeches (you can pinpoint the similarities) to a very short fictional romance between a man and a woman that’s hard to interpret.

The document known as the Fragments des Institutions républicaines was made from random papers found on him when he was arrested, taken from his apartment, and in a notebook that Barère kept. Pages are missing. Some pages are obviously torn. This is the one place where he confided some of his deepest thoughts, which reveal a great deal of insight on the Revolution and on his role, as well as his mental state. It was written in the last months of his life, when he could feel what was coming.

Saint-Just wrote fiction: yes, there’s the much maligned, very misunderstood Organt. In the same period, which is shortly before the Revolution, he also wrote a play called Arlequin Diogène, a short story called La Raison à la Morne, and a very short epigram of 8 verses, Épigramme sur le comédien Dubois qui a joué dans Pierre le Cruel.

Most of these must be treated as any work of fiction regarding their author: separating fiction from the author is complicated. Is he referencing his own life? Is he even aware that he is? The context of their redaction, however, gives a lot of information and some insight on himself. One of these texts is extremely interesting in order to study his personality. It’s a sort of foreword to Organt titled Dialogue entre M... D... et l’auteur du poëme d’Organt. The format almost resembles that of an interview. This is important as this is Saint-Just the Author, as he wants to be seen. The style is trenchant, concise, straight-to-the-point. Here Saint-Just the Author of 1789 meets Saint-Just the Representative of Year II.

(This post in an introduction to a series of several posts in the process of being written. Please be patient. If you want to know more, feel free to send me questions though! I’ll try to answer as well as I can.)

[padawanlost]

I have a couple of questions about Karen Miller/Traviss (are they the same person?) who wrote the Clone Wars novels. Are they still considered canon? Also, I heard that Karen Traviss was abused online or something, was that over her Star Wars novels? Really, I mean that just takes toxicity to a new level.

This is a hot topic but one that desperately needs to be explored because to this day people are still spreading misinformation about that happen as a way to ‘defend’ their points. So, here we go:

Karen Miller and Karen Traviss are not the same person.

Karen miller wrote novels like  The Clone Wars: Wild Space and the Clone Wars Gambit series.

Karen Travis wrote novels like The Clone Wars movie novelization and the Republic Command Series.

Both, in my opinion, are very talented writers but both also suffered thanks to sexiest and overzealous fans. There are many reason why they became ‘infamous’ but the main reason is their political stance. They both had a lot of sympathy for the clones and the enslaves citizens of the GFFA, and both were not shy about calling out the Jedi Order and the Senate for their inaction. Of course, jedi stans hated them. To add insult to injury, Karen Traviss was the writer who ‘killed’ Mara Jade (btw, this wasn’t her idea but she’s still hated for it).

Karen Miller ‘crimes’:

Her biggest ‘offense’ was being mistaken by Karen Traviss (more on that later). Beyond that all she did was write Anidala and portraying Anakin and Obi-wan as good but flawed people. This is the kind of stuff she wrote:

“Coruscant was out there. Padmé was out there. There was a heart in his chest, beating, but it was only an echo. She was his true heart. She was his home.”  - Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

“He saw himself a candle. He saw himself behind a wall. Brick by brick he tried to raise it. Brick by brick, it was destroyed. Every death was a hammer blow. Every loss a chisel. The Sith were a wily foe, they knew where and when to strike. They were drawn to weak places, to old griefs and unhealed wounds.” - Karen Miller. The Clone Wars: Wild Space

To weep for a fallen comrade was to display unseemly attachment. A Jedi did not become attached to people, to things, to places, to any world or its inhabitants. A Jedi’s strength was fed by serenity. By distance. By loving impersonally. Karen Miller. The Clone Wars: Wild Space

Nothing particularly edgy or offensive. Imo, she’s one the best prequel writes in the game.

Karen Traviss ‘crimes’:

Beyond killing Mara Jade, she’s known for being critical of the Jedi and Republic and advocating for clone wars. She supported the highly offensive and controversial idea that clones were human being who deserved the freedom. She also believed that love (romantic or platonic), family and friends were not inherently evil and that Order made mistake by banning them.

Karen Trraviss is also know for writing so much of what we know of Mandalorian culture and she struck a nerve that too.

She wrote things like:

“The only thing [the clones] all had in common was their appearance—although they were starting to age differently, she could see that now—and what the Republic had done to them. Apart from that, they were individuals with the full range of virtues and habits of random humankind, and she now felt completely at home with them. If she had a side in this war, this was the one she chose: the disenfranchised, unreasonably loyal, heartbreakingly stoic ranks of manufactured men who deserved better.”  Star Wars - Republic Commando: True Colors by Karen Traviss

Serenity, my backside. Passion. Passion and anger and love. That’s what this galaxy needs, not serenity. Passion for change. Anger at this brutality. Love-buckets of it, for everyone, love between child and parent, between spouses, between brothers and sisters, between friends. We need more attachment, not less. Attachment can stop us from tearing ourselves apart. The Clone Wars: No Prisoners by Karen Traviss

He wanted to ask her why only a handful of Jedi objected to a slave army, and why they could claim to believe in the sanctity of all life and yet treat some life as being exempt from that respect. [REPUBLIC COMMANDO: TRUE COLORS BY KAREN TRAVISS[

Fandom (over)reaction:

Because of her ‘polemic’ takes, she started getting a lot of hate from the fandom. She used to interact with the fandom and her reward was to get constant death and rape threats. Some fans threatened her with ‘corrective rape’ to change her mind about the Jedi Order and other topics. Apparently, she responded by calling these fans ‘talifans’.

And the fans used that reaction to further vilify her. she was accused of hating the Jedi Order, of favoring Mandalore over them, getting the size of the clone army wrong, of ruining the OT by killing Mara Jade and now, of attacking fans. She was basically bullied out of the franchise.

However, her depictions of Clones and Mandalorians as heroes, while portraying the Jedi as petty or villainous, frustrated some fans, who felt that her stories and characters were counter to Star Wars. These fans wrote negative reviews of her books, and created a petition to George Lucas to stop Traviss from writing further Star Wars books. Traviss also received rape and death threats. Traviss wrote about these experiences on her blog, attacking the fans who created the petition, and likening them to Muslim extremists by calling them "Talifans." Traviss ultimately retired from Star Wars writing due to the threats she received.  [x]

It got to point where she had to write an open letter to the fandom explaining she DIDN’T hate the Jedi Order, she just didn’t believe things like war crimes and slavery should be so easily overlooked.

“No sane human can hate someone who doesn’t actually exist. From a writer’s perspective, the more super-powers characters acquire, the harder it is to develop logical story arcs and true human drama…but I don’t have any real feelings about fictional characters that stay with me once I step out of character-point-of-view-writing mode and get on with my life […] My real problem, then, is not with fictional Jedi, but with the people who refuse to believe they can do wrong. – Karen traviss [x]

If you want to know more about this, check this out :)

Now, back to Karen Miller

A few years ago, a popular sw tumblr tried to discredit Traviss writing by spreading the info that  she was a sexualizing Ahsoka with Bail so people started hating her for that too. Thing is, Karen Miller was the one accused of doing that but here is the deal:

Neither Karens ever wrote Ahsoka interacting with Bail Orgarna. What actually happened was that someone wrote a fic about Bail sexualizing Ahsoka on fanfiction.net, someone read it and decided the writing style was similar to Karen Miller’s so OF COURSE it must be Karen Miller who wrote the fanfic. Thanks to that genius level of deductive work, over the time people started saying that Karen Traviss wrote about Bail wanting to fuck Ahsoka as extra proof that SHE IS EVIL and should not be taken seriously.

Conclusion

Regardless of what you feel about someone writing, it’s NEVER okay to send them rape or death threats. Never! unfortunately, some hardcore jedi stans still spread the ‘karen traviss was attacking us’ without explaining exactly transpired between her and the fandom. According to their narrative, she was the *only* one in the wrong. That’s why there’s so much misinformation about her and what truly happened online.

My take on this ‘controversy’ is very simple: stop sending rape and death threats to women. I don’t care if you agree with her or not. The moment you believe a women *deserve* to be rape or killed, or support those who do, you lose any more ground you might think have. The situation becomes even more dire if it’s done to protect FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. 🤦‍♀️ I swear...this fandom....

[internalsealpanic]

Bloody Valentine

Summary: There is nothing more romantic than being stuck in an elevator and arguing about terrible life decisions. 

a/n: Blame @littleredwing89 for the existence of this.  This is, as of the time I’m posting this, the 4th part (chronologically) to my Dick Grayson/Merc!Reader series. It might be better for you to read part 1 or part 2 before reading this as the angst might hit harder if you do. 

Warnings:  Mentions of blood and injury. Dick and Reader are both hypocrites with no self preservation. It also gets a little heated(?) in the end but nothing really bad.

Main Masterlist

Dick Grayson Masterlist

Direct Sequel to this: Sweetness 

This was not how you pictured your Valentine’s Day. 

Sure, you weren’t exactly picturing a candle-lit dinner under the stars or slow dancing in the pale moonlight like a Hallmark movie. But you’re not exactly thrilled to be standing outside an emergency room waiting area, clutching an unopened pack of cigarettes and a spare superman shirt, as per the police chief’s suggestion. You tap your foot impatiently as an officer persuades the hospital staff to let you in as you stupidly forgot to bring any of your IDs. The pack of cigarettes crinkles loudly earning you a withering look from a tired-looking mother. 

You take a breath. 

You settle yourself in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs they point you to. There’s a scream in your throat. And you’re so close to crying. From frustration, anxiety, fatigue? You couldn’t distinguish. 

You flick your eyes to them. Finally, the staff relents and you brush past them brusquely.   

Your thoughts spiral. The bile lingers at the back of your throat. Burning. Acidic. Dick had lost a lot of blood but not fatal, they told you. The sob that left your mouth was inhumane. You’d almost dropped the phone. Static and white noise vibrated through your eardrums. In a trance-like state, you walk towards the room they kept him in, tunnel vision guiding you to his door. That’s what shock does to you. 

All you can think of is him.

You hold the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip, glaring at Dick through the rearview mirror, more specifically the white hospital issued sling cradling his arm. You watch Dick as he pretends to not notice the look you’re needling him with.  “I spy with my little eye something… green,” he says absentmindedly as he stares out into the flow of traffic. 

You keep your narrowed eyes straight ahead, not even thinking about dignifying his little distraction. Right now, all you were seeing was red. 

To your right, Dick sighs dramatically, running his hand through his black hair. “So you’re just going to ignore me, huh?”

You’re not but you sure are trying. 

Dick as far as you knew was used to silence but he thrived in noise. He lived off of interactions, good or bad. You’re usually an endless supply of banter and playful quips but right now you needed the silence. You needed him to stew in it along with you. This isn’t to say you were particularly ill-tempered or impatient with people, being friends with someone like Dick necessitated a certain level of patience in your opinion.  And sure, you had a sharp tongue but you didn’t lose your temper often. But as you sit there next to him with your teeth grinding, fingers tapping, and muscles clenched, you could feel anger coiling under your skin. 

He lets out another sigh, this time sounding genuinely exasperated. Good. “(y/n), I don’t know why you’re upset by this- I’m a cop. We both know the risks.” 

The coil under your skin burns and you break hard, pointedly ignoring the loud cursing from the driver behind you. Dick chokes and hisses as the seatbelt digs into his chest. You offer him no sympathy or apology as you shoot him such a glare that whatever smartass remark he has for you dies on the tip of his tongue. Considering all the villains and heroes he’s had glaring at him over the years, you consider this an accomplishment. Dick flinches at the intensity of the anger wicking off of you. 

You click your teeth and turn back to the road, seeing the light turn green again. “You were issued a gun for a reason,” you say flatly, opting for this instead of the litany of other ways to say ‘you’re a moron’. You’re polite like that. 

It’s Dick’s turn to level you a look but unlike him, you don’t flinch, too caught up in your own anger. “Well, I assessed the situation-”

“You were wrong.”

“- and thought I could deescalate,” he says scowling at you through the mirror. Hurt flashes behind his eyes.  He looks… like a mix between petulant and offended but you can’t bring yourself to care to do more than give him a withering look, especially not when you still have his bloodied uniform burned into your mind. You admired his determination to keep the peace the way you admired how uncompromising his stance was on second chances. You really did but… It was the second time he nearly died that week and it was just Tuesday. 

You stop again. You close your eyes. Loving someone who could someday not come home to you was not a possibility you had prepared for.  You just- You just weren’t ready to care for someone so… destructible.  You weren’t sure how to process all the anxiety that came with that, so you turned to anger. It just seemed so much more productive and tangible than the shapeless fear anxiety brought you. “And you nearly got shot in the heart,” you deadpan, heart twinging. You taper your emotions down into something more manageable, something easier to compartmentalize. You can tell Dick was going through the same process. Which one of you was having a harder time, you couldn’t tell. 

“He barely grazed me.”

“Correction, you have a hole in your shoulder.” Asshole.  You bite back the insult, trying not to escalate the argument. You click your teeth but try not to clench your jaw or grind your teeth. The first person to lose their temper loses the argument. 

Dick huffs, resting his chin against his uninjured hand. His eyes flicker to you then the window. “I’ve had worse,” he mutters and your stomach tumbles to the ground getting crushed by the tire. Your mind careens. Your lungs fill up with the smell of ash and gun smoke. For a moment, your eyes do not work. For a moment, you’re in a crumbling building. Your eyes watching the billowing smoke curl against the sky. A blast of heat so hot it makes the liquid in your eyes boil breezes past you. 

You feel the flick of Yasiri’s tail on your skin and suddenly your foot is on a gas pedal instead of a broken cement floor. You blink, a tar-like emotion is swimming under your skin. You breathe. You glare at the traffic in front of you if only to focus your vision. “You’re impossible,” you snarl. 

In the corner of your eye, Dick peels away from the window, anger flashing in his easy-going features. He’s brandishing a sneer. You brace yourself. Dick… Dick Grayson was a mean son of a bitch when he wanted to be and he knew too much of your hurts. You swallow, gripping the steering wheel. Yasiri swims on your skin, surfacing just enough to get ready to strike but also just enough to be hidden. 

Dick opens his mouth but no sound comes out. Dick closes his mouth then opens it again and instead of something truly scathing, Dic opts for something more teasing probably realizing that pissing off your driver is a really bad idea. “You say that like you’re any easier to talk to.”

“At least, I know how to listen,” you bite out, voice drawing dangerously low. Dick’s eyes flicker to you, his shoulders bunching up a fraction. You click your teeth and take a calming breath. 

Dick snorts, the knot in his shoulders disappearing. “Yeah, right.”

You bristle. Your fingers drum against the steering wheel contemplating on whether to deck him. You should deck him. You should definitely deck him. Would that open up his stitches? It probably would. You mutter a curse. It feels nice rolling off your tongue and it seems Dick feels the same when he curses in Romani. You catalog the word for later use. Dick turns away from you, glaring out the window. You can see the way his eyes narrow through the reflection in the window. The look in his eyes is a complicated mix of irritation and hurt and regret.  

You silently agree to table the discussion, at least, until you got off the road. 

You brush past the elevator door, tossing your bag to the corner and leaning against the cool wall of the elevator. Dick enters and leans on the opposite wall, gingerly rubbing his shoulder. Neither of you look at each other. You watch the buttons light up as the elevator climbs up. Your skin is still buzzing from emotions. You thought the quiet drive would right them but… it didn’t.

To your side, you hear the restless tapping of feet. You glance over to Dick whose body is vibrating and itching from movement. Seems you weren’t the only one jittery. You smother a snort in your hand. It was cruel but you find the fact that he’ll be so bored while recovering is slightly funny. 

The elevator shakes. You’re thrown off balance. There’s a metallic clunking above you. You both lookup. Dick strains his ears to listen. You quiet your breathing so as not to distract him. He sighs and curses, the side of his fist pounding against the wall. “It’s just broken.” You look at him, eyes wide and dumbfounded. 

“Are you fucking with me?”

He shakes his head. “I wish,” he scoffs. You scrunch your nose and Dick sneers. “We’re just gonna have to wait, I guess.”  And you press yourself against your wall. “Wonderful.” 

You both stew in silence. “I can’t believe I’m stuck...” you mutter under your breath as you try to pry the elevator doors open. Dick rolls his eyes at you. “You can’t open those doors, (y/n),” he ruffles his hair in frustration, “we just need to wait for the fire department, dumbass.”He says, his head lulling back against the wall. 

 You hiss, your fingers sore and red. “Has anyone ever told you that you were an ass?” You snarl making Dick scowl at you. 

“You’ve said so like 5 times in the emergency room and 2 times in- Do you really wanna start this again?!”

You punch the door, creating a deep divet. “You’re goddamn right I wanna start this again because, Richard, for once in your goddamned life I wish you would stop being such a self-centered dickweed!” You seethe. Your knuckles hurt. They feel cool. They’re probably bleeding. 

Dick shoots up from the corner. “How am I self-centered?”

“Risking your life like a fucking moron like that?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was trying to save those people.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” you throw your arms up in exasperation, “do you know just how bad you are at keeping yourself alive because of that fucking hero complex, huh? You dumb. piece. of. Shit.”  You take a deep breath and continue your tirade. “You think you’re invincible just cus you run around in tights all night?”

Dick smirks at you. “You never had a problem with my tights when-”

“Check your ego, Grayson. I’ve dealt with a lot of spandex-clad pretty boys before, you’re nothing special.” You want the words to sting. 

“Oh please, you dealt with them by putting them in body bags!”

“Yeah! Fuck you! You’ll end up in one the rate you’re going.” Dick is speechless for a moment. Something in Dick’s eyes flares. You flinch and open your mouth to say something but Dick roars, the sound loud in the confined space. “What? Are you gonna tell me to stop being a hero? Are you gonna tell me that I’m not good enough to be Nightwing like how Bruce told me I couldn’t be Robin? Hah?”

Your heart drops and your chest burns. Your hackles draw up as high as they can. You bare your teeth. “No, you fucking moron That’s not the point!”

“What is it then, (y/n)? What do you want from me?!”

“You always go on this damn crusade to save everyone and everything and you don’t bother to take care of yourself or how it would affect others!”

“Wha-”

“No! You don’t- You don’t ever think!”You shove him against the wall, jabbing your finger into his chest. 

Dick glares down at you, grabbing your wrist in an almost painful grip. His finger jabs against your collar bone as he gets in your face, his hot breath fanning against your skin. “Fuck you! You’re just as bad as I am! You always throw yourself in front of others at the first sound of gunfire.”

“Dipshit, I have accelerated healing!” you say, ripping your hand out of his grip. 

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE INVINCIBLE.”

“Neither are you!” You sob, it comes out wet and raw. You close your eyes. You can still see the blood on his uniform. You sink to the floor, clutching at his shirt. Your tears sting even as they fall to the floor. “Neither are you.”

“(y/n)...” Dick’s shoulders droop as he watches you proud form crumple, entire body shaking.  He lowers himself to the ground slowly, careful not to agitate you. 

You press forward and bury your face into his shoulder, fist lightly punching his chest. You don’t want him to see you cry.  “Dick… I’m not saying you should quit… that- that’s just who you are.” You hiccup, tears flowing.“I just- I don’t want to bury you. I don’t- I can’t lose you, you fucking moron… You can’t just worm your way into someone’s heart and- and- ”

“(Y/n)...” Dick pulls you into his lap and lays his chin on your head. He hadn’t really thought… He should have known. He should have guessed. 

You pull away and look him in the eye, eyes bloodshot from crying. “You can’t just expect me to be ok with the possibility you won’t come back to me,” you say lowly, punching his chest.   The next few words come out in a shy whisper, low enough that Dick has to strain his ears to hear you. “Dick… I love you. I want to grow old with you, you waste of oxygen.” You cry into Dick’s shoulder not able to face him.  Dick shakes his head. He puts his hand on the back of your neck and presses a kiss to your hair. Dick doesn’t know how many times he has to tell you he doesn’t think less of you for crying on his shoulder but he’ll tell you no matter how many times you need to hear it.  

You sit in silence with only your muffled sobs and Dick’s comforting words filling the dead air. 

 “Timmy is gonna kill you for making me cry,” you sniffle, facing him with a wet tear-stained smile. 

Dick gives you a crooked smile in return.“ I still have no idea how you managed to turn my siblings against me,” Dick says, planting another kiss on your face but this time on your eyelid just below your brow. 

“You say that like it’s hard.” 

Dick pouts at you and you cackle loud and high, somehow still managing to sound musical. “I am a lovable big brother-”

“-And I’m a fucking nun-” Dick pinches your ass through your skirt. “We'll  have nun of that,”

You grab Dick’s wrist in a tight grip, managing to narrow your eyes at him. “I am not dropping this conversation just  to get fucked in an elevator.”

His eyes shine cheekily at the idea.“Wasn't my plan... but that works.”

“Dick…”

Dick leans down, his nose grazing your pulse, brushing like petals against your skin. “Let me make it up to you,” Dick says, licking a stripe up the column of your neck. Ignoring the swell of his pants against your inner thigh, you pinch his cheek, tugging him away from your neck. Your stomach roils at the loss of his lips on your skin but you suppress a whine to glare at him.

Dick looks up at you, mischief lighting his eyes. He pulls away from your hand. His lips find their way back to your neck then back up your jaw. His lips press kisses along your jawline. “It’ll-”kiss”-be-” kiss “-sooo worth it.”

Your breath hitches.“Dick...” you whine, feeling your skin heat. Your mind is buzzing. He smiles against you. His fingers toy with the strap of your bra, tugging it down slowly, carefully, making sure you feel every bit of his movement. “I hear my name-” he kisses your shoulder “-but you’re not stopping me.”

You roll your hips, panting for him. Dick’s tongue is hot against your skin. “C’mon, sweetheart, you know I can make you scream my name with just one hand,” Dick whispers against the shell of your ear. His hand slides down your arm down to your hip, his hand guiding your ass towards his growing bulge. “C’mon, Sweetheart, think about it-” Lick ”-the words I could make you sing.”

“Dick...” you pant, arching your back, pressing your body against his, giving him more access to your neck. Dick nips at your flesh happily. “Honey, I’m going to-”   

You yelp, your skin flying off your bones when you hear the elevator doors open. Dick, unphased, continues kissing you and licking up your skin. 

“Heeey guys, it’s Grayson,” the fireman calls out to the other men behind him. He turns back to the two of you with a cheeky grin.“Dickie, if I’d known it was you..” He glances towards you, eyes catching on the red hickeys blooming on your shoulder. You want to evaporate. “You guys need a minute?” Dick grins against your skin, looking up at you through thick lashes. “Thanks, Jerry, but we might need more than that.”

You glare down at Dick who simply smiles at you as he nips at your flesh.  “What? Feeling shy?” Dick breathes against your neck and all of a sudden, all of the anger and irritation comes creeping back. You shove Dick lightly, standing up and fixing your shirt. “I think he has a concussion. I suggest you check him out,” you snarl, brushing past Jerry leaving Dick on the floor, horny and stunned. 

“I’m totally fine!” Dick says, scrambling to his feet and grabbing your bag. 

You glare over your shoulder. “Our argument isn’t over.”

“What? But- I thought- We were about to-” Your scowl deepens as you see Dick flounder.  Jerry cackles as he gives Dick’s back an unsympathetic pat. 

“Sorry about that, Grayson. I guess you were destined to get blue balled,” Jerry laughs shaking his head. Dick sighs deeply, his shoulders drooping. “Are you really sorry?” Dick asks, side-eyeing Jerry. Jerry grins. “Nah, but it’s the thought that counts,” Jerry says, looking all too pleased with himself. 

Dick bumps past Jerry gently with a slightly petulant look on his face which earns him a chuckle from Jerry and a glare from you. “Watch the shoulder,” you crow from the hall. 

Jerry shakes his head. “No, hero’s welcome, huh?” Dick rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, she’s not exactly happy about the hole in my shoulder,” Dick admits, sheepishly. Jerry shoves Dick forward lightly and the other firemen do the same. “Go get ‘er, Tiger!”

Dick falls into step behind you, his lips brushing the back of your neck. His arm wraps around you as he pulls you close. He places a kiss behind your ear. You gasp and you hear hoots behind you. “Dick… Don’t… You can’t solve this with an orgasm,” you sigh, feeling your resolve crumble as his soft lips brushed the weak point of your neck. “Honey… please.” Dick holds you against his chest. The beating of his heart thaws you. “Honey, I’m sorry...” His breath runs down the side of your neck and it feels like feathers caressing your skin. You take a breath. He just knew how to make you melt. 

“... I love you too.”

Tag list: @batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes,  @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-inkage, @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay, @wunderstell   @hyp-oh-critical @glorified-red

[dontcallmecarrie]

Ohhh I’d love to see the Doom POV!!! Justin X Doom has my vote

Loki would be cute too, much drama with the avengers

Honestly? This snippet mostly summed up my take on Victor von Doom in this AU, and I'm not sure how in-character he is considering my main reference base for him is the 2005-7 movies and a handful of comic book panels.

Apologies for any inaccuracies, I'm playing very fast and loose with how I would have made him fit in the MCU. Plus this AU's turning out a lot, lot fluffier than I'd originally expected, too, considering the original premise was supposed to just be 'SI-OC as a villain protagonist, let's see where it goes!' and not much else.

.

Okay, so if we're talking about potential crushes, then it's obviously very one-sided at first [because Justin's brand of obliviousness has him younger-sibling-zoning anyone remotely his age for the longest time].

After all, these two met in boarding school, and were only physically reunited years later but if we're exploring how this ship would work, here's how I think it'd go:

Victor von Doom didn't think much of his study buddy, at first.

Because at first, he just wanted a quiet place to read, and most other children his age were rowdy and kept trying to get him to play with them, or tried to pick childish fights over nothing, and he had no patience for anything of the sort because he was here, at boarding school instead of with his family, and he'd heard the whispers of growing tensions and he knew they'd sent him away for his own safety but that didn't mean he had to like it.

So he mostly kept his nose in a book, and focused on his studies, and just generally tried not to think too much about what was going on in his home country.

If that meant he was a bit more snappish than the average child, he didn't particularly find it in him to care. Sure, this place was lauded as where the social elites sent their spawn to network from an early age, so what?

...as such, he didn't expect to make any friends.

But he did, starting from the moment they wordlessly agreed to share the alcove because there weren't many other quiet places to study for the upcoming exams.

From there, what Victor would have expected to be a one-off turns into a strange sort of routine as they meet up week after week from then on, giving each other a brisk nod as they pull out their books and set to work.

It's...surprisingly nice, having someone to study with. Victor's not certain how old his companion is, but he's quiet and hardworking and generally less draining to be around than most children their age.

Their first conversation is several months after they've first met, when Victor didn't notice he'd forgotten to grab a pencil for his worksheets and his...schoolmate[?] lends him a spare.

From then on out, their friendship is something gradual, something comfortable. Victor's companion respects boundaries in ways he hasn't really seen outside of his family— is sensitive enough to his moods that he knows when to change the subject, and when Victor's struggling to articulate his feelings and just needs time to do so.

...it's one of, if not the thing Victor misses most, when he gets pulled out of boarding school.

Because after that, things only go downhill from there.

.

Latveria's civil war was... bloody, let's just leave it at that.

Brutal, with a laundry list of factions and alliances that were forged and broken from one breath to another and Victor hadn't set out to be the leader of his faction— but it wasn't like he had any other choice.

He was one of the last surviving members of his family, if there was any hope that his country would be anything other than a fragmented mess then he had to step up.

Even if that meant a teenager was the face of one of the most eminent factions of this damn war, someone nobody really took seriously, and if Victor hadn't had years of seeing his oldest friend's charisma at work then he honestly has no clue how he would've managed to get as far as he had.

And then things escalated even more, and Victor honestly hadn't expected to live to see the end of the fighting, let alone what came after.

One of his advisors was the one to suggest making one last attempt at buying their weapons through a vaguely legitimate source; nobody with any sense was selling to their region, but the black market favored some of their biggest rivals and things were getting desperate enough that Victor signed off on it.

It was a long shot, and they all knew it.

...as such, that first shipment of Hammer Industries weapons took them all by surprise.

.

Victor had never set out to become the new leader of Latveria.

But here he was now, loved and feared and reviled around the world and he doesn't know where to go from here, but... the fact that he's alive to even be able to think about a future after the war was an incredible boon as it was.

Now that he is where he is, he can afford to think about more than just surviving from one day to another, and apart from working on rebuilding Latveria, he's also got some personal projects going on.

Such as finding out who came through at the eleventh hour, because now that he has the time and space to look a gift unicorn in the mouth he's realizing just how many laws must have been broken for those first few shipments to have gotten there.

The paper trail is a dead end, but once Victor starts poking around it should be so, very easy for him to get answers.

After all, Victor was a warlord-now-technically-dictator with access to black-ops personnel and honest-to-goodness death squads, getting intel on what he wanted should not be this hard. Sure, Hammer Industries had good information security, but... apparently, Hammer Senior wasn't the type to get involved in this sort of mess, which meant Victor had no idea who was responsible and he wanted answers—

In the end, one picture is all it takes.

Actually— when he'd first seen the picture, Victor had been in the middle of a meeting with some of his most trusted advisors and generals.

...suffice it is to say, nothing productive got achieved after he recognized the face of the heir of Hammer Industries, once he realized he'd never actually gotten his childhood friend's full name.

The less said about his reaction to the picture, the better, too: Victor's advisors had seen him at his best and at his worst, why they'd freaked out so much was anyone's guess.

So what if he'd kept it, after the meeting was over? Those looks were uncalled for!

.

Victor owes Justin more than he can name— so when there's a ghost of a chance to reconnect, he takes it.

.

Regrets were had.

Everyone at the UN summit looked at him, and he gritted his teeth as he faced off against seasoned politicians twice and thrice his age and he knew what they were expecting, knew they called him a dictator where his country called him a hero and neither of them wanted him here but Latveria had to re-enter the international sphere somehow so they were stuck with him.

Until Zemo got his act together and finished that international relations course, at least. Oh, and got out of the habit of shooting his problems, that too.

Victor had managed to get them diplomatic immunity, but that'd be a hard sell.

...it's funny. Latveria's civil war was over, but... he found himself at odds as to where to go from here.

.

It's funny, how the more things change, the more they really, really don't.

Victor had been a quiet and antisocial bastard back in boarding school, surviving a civil war hadn't exactly done much for his temperament either.

Or his social skills, for that matter.

And just like always, Justin's mere presence was weaponized sunshine.

...Victor never stood a chance.

[combustiblegarbage]

so we've been chatting in the 03 server (weekly plug to send me a message if you're interested, 18+ pls) about roy's place in the narrative both in 03 and in mangahood, and the conclusion i have firmly come to is that in EVERY iteration, in EVERY series.... roy should have died!

in 03, i think all the points that i covered in this post about scar...are also true for roy!!! scar's death was the completion of his narrative arc, because the other options were punishment by or collaboration with the fascist institution that genocided his people. what are roy's options at the end of his narrative arc? a) become the fuhrer or b) be exiled to an outpost on the edge of amestris only to be pulled in at the last minute for a movie cameo??? as much as i loved seeing him with the eyepatch in cos, neither of those are narratively satisfying, and that is DOUBLY true if you consider that one of the primary draws of his character is, to be frank, ROYAI! AND THEY NEVER GET TOGETHER! and throughout the series, we see that roy's true intention is not to become fuhrer but rather to seek redemption for what he's done (that's why he has to go after bradley, even when ed explicitly points out he'll never be able to stay in the government if he does so - killing wrath gives him a chance to both stop the puppeteering of the country by an evil entity who truly does not CARE about nation states or people, and it is something he can do. it is the action he has to take to feel like he is making a difference and to address the goal of never taking another stupid order ever again)

but guess how else he could've achieved that goal of never taking another stupid order again! THE BITCH COULD'VE DIED! he could've died doing something wonderful and heroic. in fact i'd argue that the flashbacks and references to his suicidality set up a narrative arc of him plunging towards his own death, but not at his own hands but rather for a purpose, as a means of redemption. doing something that matters when you realize you are part of a system wherein you have no good choices. everything you do makes you complicit. so he decides that he has to break his loyalty to the system - and that point is why, like, his whole situation in cos doesn't really make sense to me. why is he still in the amestrian military? WHAT is the logic behind giving up flame alchemy after he just used it for an IMMENSELY good deed? it just makes sense to me that roy's story ends also with his death but in a moment of redemption. (plus it would make for a narrative parallel with both scar's death and ed's death - and as i said in the post i linked, the idea of "i love scar but never forgave him for the Murder" ALSO APPLIES TO ROY MUSTANG! that story! should end! in HIS end!)

i feel generally similarly about mangahood, and my only distinction there is the insanity of actually going with the option to make him fuhrer. it's absurd! it's terrible! there is no apparent demilitarization and roy just covers everything up and never lets The People learn the truth! like! THAT WAS THE PROBLEM TO BEGIN WITH! and honestly when they get to the FINAL final battle he feels relegated to third fucking tier character and it's like. kill the man! let him die! give us a consequence who isn't a villain or a minor side character you're trying to make us feel sad about but for whom we're like. eh! i mean it's sad! but i will quickly forget buccaneer died if you move us right along to the Main Cast I Care About!

special shoutout to @jostenneil's wonderful posts here and here for reviving this thought and articulating somethign wonderful in particular about the royai tunnel scene!

[phantomrose96]

Twisting Fate

(A what-if idea I had. adjusted the canon timeline a little)

...

From Recovery Girl’s perspective, Sir Nighteye was a horizon.

Lying stiff in his hospital bed, with the setting sun creeping lower at his right, Nighteye’s whole body became ridges of shadows. His face was gaunter, paler at the precipice of death. Caverns hid his eyes, and every sharp angle of his frame threw swaths of shadow, magnified larger, over the left wall of his room. Machines like snakes clawed into his midsection, all cold metallic tubes replacing the functions of organs that had been shredded through. Recovery Girl sat on a stool to his left, shaded in this darkness, smelling on the heat of the radiator the familiar smell of death.

“I have… a theory…” Nighteye’s words were hardly even whispers. They were stow-away nuances on the raspy rattle of his breath. “…and it will bother me if I die without ever having resolved it.”

“What’s your theory?” Recovery Girl asked. She was too used to this, being the receptacle for the last thoughts, wonders, worries, and dreams of dying heroes.

“Izuku Midoriya… He may--…it is possible—he may have a quirk.”

“A quirk, as in one beside One For All, I assume.”

“Not One For All. Beyond that. His own quirk. I have a theory…”

“Izuku Midoriya was diagnosed quirkless. Does this affect your theory?”

Silence rattled around them. Nighteye’s chest rose and fell faintly. “As in… the vestigial joint in the smallest toe, and no observable quirk of his own?”

“Yes, he matches those criteria,” Recovery Girl confirmed.

Sir Nighteye said nothing in immediate response. He laid in silence to catch his breath, and let the room fall back under the sedation of his blipping heart monitor.

“The correlation… of the additional toe joint to quirklessness is about 99%. It is possible for Midoriya to still have a quirk.”

“That is true.” The lamp in the corner clicked on, softly yellow, blanketing the room as the creeping darkness of nighttime set in. “We don’t know how many cases of quirklessness are false positives. What is it that makes you think Midoriya has a quirk?”

Nighteye let out a rattling breath. “By my own nature, and the nature of my quirk… I take pride in having evidence for my claims. I’d like to investigate this before I tell you. …The doctors estimate they can keep me alive like this for three days, at most. Do you think that’s accurate?”

“Three and a half, now that I’ve healed you some,” Recovery Girl answered.

“That’s enough. There’s someone I’d like you to fetch for me.”

“All Might.”

“No,” Nighteye answered with the faintest shake of his head. “Shota Aizawa. He should be in this same hospital. Please bring him to me.”

…

Aizawa and Nighteye spoke only briefly, with an agreement to help, and a message to pass along. Two messages, more precisely.

Aizawa got himself released from the hospital by 6am the next morning, having not slept, and having pulled some strings with the night nurses who knew him well to expedite the process. By 7am, he was back at the U.A. dorms, the very atmosphere asleep this early on a Saturday morning.

Only two students were awake: Momo Yaoyorozu, reading comfortably on the common area couch with a blanket swaddled around her, and Tenya Iida, preparing enough toast in the kitchen to cover breakfast for the entire class.

It was Iida who Aizawa flagged, and pulled aside, and passed the message along to: There was a dying pro hero whom Iida had never met asking for his presence. Aizawa had no further details on what the man wanted, or why, and he knew Nighteye well enough to assume that neither he nor Iida would ever be informed.

The lack of information agitated Iida. His arms jittered, and he pressed for information on why, and what had happened, and what his presence would mean to Nighteye. Aizawa could only shrug and ask if the withholding of that information affected Iida’s answer. Iida paused to consider this only briefly. And then he agreed, of course, because any self-respecting hero-in-training would do everything in his power to satisfy the dying wish of a citizen.

…

When Sunday set in, Aizawa did not go prowling through the dorm areas until the early afternoon, because the other message he had to pass along was for Katsuki Bakugou, and Bakugou’s whole morning was booked solid with provisional license training.

When Aizawa found Bakugou, the boy was freshly showered and sporting a litany of new scrapes and bandages, thumbs jamming aggressively into one of the dorm’s three console controllers for the shared GameStation. From the neighboring couch, Kirishima yelled at Bakugou to not mess us the toggles, to which Bakugou fired off several choice, colorful words back.

Aizawa didn’t bother scolding him. He only pulled Bakugou aside, and gave him the same message as Iida: Pro Hero Nighteye wanted to see him.

Bakugou sneered at this. He knew the name as Deku’s work-study boss, and knew it more potently now that the recent news story broke, and Nighteye’s name made it to the local stations as a hero in critical condition after a daring rescue.

Bakugou asserted this had nothing to do with him. That none of this was his problem. That he owed nothing to a man he’d never met and shouldn’t be expected to bow to his whim. Aizawa said nothing in response. He let the silence linger, and let Bakugou fester in the echo of his own words. Bakugou cracked the silence with a growl of frustration, and a crackle of his palms, and a spat declaration of “fine”.

Aizawa thanked him for his cooperation, and asked if now would be a bad time to follow him to Nighteye’s hospital.

…

By the third day of his hospice stay, Nighteye had become more machine than man. He fostered little presence. His only motion came from the respirator breathing for him. His harsh angles and stark shadows had decayed, softened, sank with him into his very-little-at-all-ness into the bed.

Recovery Girl sat beside him once more. In theory she had come to change bandages and administer healing, but at the sight of the man, she knew even that much was not worthwhile. It was only Nighteye’s comfort that mattered now. She set up an IV drip to ease his breathing and pain, but it would not heal him. At best, it would offer him just a wisp of his voice back.

“Have you resolved your theory about Izuku Midoriya’s quirk?” she asked simply. It was another skill she’d fostered in her professional life – to ask the leading questions of dying people, who in death seemed so strangely prone to avoiding any direct answers.

To her surprise, Nighteye smiled.

“Yes, I think so.”

“Would you like to tell me?”

“Yes. You are the only person right now I trust with this information. I need to pass it along, and I have no one else in mind.”

“And once you’ve told me, should I tell Midoriya too?”

“I don’t know. I trust you to figure that out, if it’s right or not.”

“What’s Midoriya’s quirk?”

Nighteye said nothing at first. He stared at the ceiling, as it seemed he possessed little of the necessary strength to look elsewhere.

“During the fight against Overhaul… I saw Midoriya die. I saw it with my Foresight,” he said, not answering the direct question, which did little to surprise Recovery Girl. “My Foresight has never been wrong. Sometimes, purely in denial, I’ve convinced myself it could, theoretically, be wrong, if only to not feel so hopeless about the futures I’ve seen. But 35 years without a single incorrect prediction is… a devastatingly consistent precedent to contend with.”

“I know this about you. Midoriya was the first to change that future?”

“It was… Chisaki’s future… that I was looking at. I saw him kill Midoriya. I saw him escape. So it was Chisaki’s future that changed. And I suspected, the more I thought about it, that Midoriya may have done it.”

“What do you think his quirk is?”

“I… have more context… I want to explain myself. I asked Shota Aizawa to bring me two U.A. students.”

“Iida and Bakugou. Shota told me.”

“Iida, because, if my hunch was correct, he would be affected too. And he was. My hunch was correct.”

“What was your hunch?”

“When I used my Foresight on him, I saw something I’ve never seen before… All futures I’ve seen are linear. A movie to play out. Singular, immutable, and certain. What I saw in Iida was more like… tree branches twisting around a trunk. One which was strong, and bold, and most clear ahead of him. Like what I usually see. It was a bright and happy future. A future he’s earned. One to be proud of.”

“I’m glad. Tenya Iida is a kind boy.”

“But the small futures… I’ve never seen them before. All gnarled and withered, twisting in and out…. Most of those were empty. I see this when someone is soon to die, but… these looked as though Iida had already died. Several times over. Other small twisted ones… he was still alive, but not a hero, not a U.A. graduate, too heavily incapacitated. No use of his arms. Limited use of his legs.”

“And what does this tell you?”

Nighteye offered just wheezes, catching his breath.

“With… with Bakugou. It was similar but... Bakugou had many more gnarled branches than Iida. Some empty… Others where, it seemed he had never even gotten into U.A. Others as the League of Villains’ hostage. Others in jail. They were not uniform. Some were faint, so I could hardly detect them. Some were so far removed from our reality, as if they’d forked over a decade ago. …Do not worry, his main future is bright.”

“I know All Might has a lot of hope for that boy.” Recovery Girl pushed off her stool. She went and cracked the hospital window open, so that the fresh air may do something for the sweat coalescing on Nighteye’s brow.

“Izuku Midoriya… I know many things about him. Gathering intel is a specialty of mine. And I know he has been lucky in unfathomable ways. Bakugou, that boy, he saved from the League of Villains. Iida, he saved from Stain, just barely, as I understand it. Midoriya’s own acceptance into U.A. was improbable at best. His rescue of a boy named Kota should have been his end, but it wasn’t. He was involved in a fight against the serial killer Moon Fish. He was Shigaraki’s hostage briefly. He played the main role in orchestrating Bakugou’s rescue from the League of Villains. And now, under me, he defeated Chisaki, in a fight which should, with certainty, have cost him his life.”

“There’s no need to remind me of all these. I was the one who healed that boy every time. I know he’s reckless.”

“This is beyond reckless. This is the resume of a boy who should have died many times over. …And I think, maybe, he has.”

To this, Recovery Girl gave no immediate response. Only a deep inhale, nasally, a held breath, an exhale.

“Midoriya may have died already. My Foresight wasn’t wrong, but it was posthumously corrected. It is in the strange nature of Izuku Midoriya that when the people around him should die… they don’t. Midoriya always saves them. And if my Foresight is to be believed, he does not always succeed on the first try. Those gnarled branches into Iida and Bakugou’s futures were fates in which Midoriya had not intervened. Or had failed to intervene successfully. They were fates he was able to twist off the main path, and correct under his own power of will. And that would be a quirk nigh undetectable. How would you document or observe it? The ability to undo the outcomes that ended in disaster. It’s powerful. Unfathomably powerful, if I’m correct about this. Stronger than One for All could ever be. I wonder, if I were to look at Midoriya’s future, how many twisted fates might I see?”

Recovery Girl let her eyes shift to the window, contemplating the skyline, contemplating all the near-lethal encounters Izuku Midoriya had fought through. She tried to process this possibility, and found herself failing to take it in all at once. “Do you intend to look?”

“No,” Nighteye said, and it was with finality. “I won’t make it to tomorrow. And there’s someone else whose future I need to see today.”

“If it’s All Might, I would be able to--.”

“No. It’s not All Might’s.”

To this, Recovery Girl startled. Her eyes shifted to Night Eye, who wore the smallest of smiles, his eyes squinted shut.

“After what you saw six years ago… you don’t want to see if that fate has changed?”

“All Might and I have parted ways. I am choosing to entrust his safety to Izuku Midoriya now. I am choosing to trust that that boy has saved him from that future that’s weighed me down for all these years. I am choosing… to pass the torch onto him. All Might has chosen Izuku Midoriya, and I am at peace with it… No, more than that, I accept that. I am content with that. I am happy with that.”

Recovery Girl nodded, but trepidation stiffened her movements. “…Then who is the last person you want to see?”

…

With the light fading around him, Nighteye wondered if this was the first time he’s seen Mirio cry.

The boy was endlessly bright, endlessly shining, a beacon and a pillar and someone who Nighteye was proud to call his pupil. He felt only the slightest knocking pangs of guilt in his chest for the fact that he’d only connected with Mirio as a vessel for One For All. But Mirio had proven himself well above and beyond all Nighteye’s paltry expectations. He didn’t need One For All to be strong.

The true guilt Nighteye felt was in the knowledge that it was his own fault that Mirio was crying now.

Thick opalescent tears swam in his eyes and cracked his voice. Red blotched along his cheeks and sweat clung to his brow. It was a sad sight to see, the raw and wet keens of Mirio’s voice. It was sad. Nighteye wanted nothing more than to see Mirio smile once more.

So he set a gentle palm to Mirio’s cheek, and he apologized, and he blinked his final activation of his quirk into existence.

Mirio’s future was a grand tree. Like Iida’s, like Bakugou’s, it was threaded with splintered branches. Some empty and shriveled and dead. Some dismal and bleak, twirling up like vines. Nighteye didn’t pay mind to those. He focused only on the trunk. That bright and shining pillar surging forward.

It was a future where Mirio was smiling.

A hero. In costume. Beloved and strong and willing. With a smile that alone could save a million people.

Nighteye trusted Midoriya to cultivate that fate for Mirio.

And that was enough.

So Nighteye told Mirio as much. He deserved to know this as Nighteye did. A fine hero. Finer than anyone else. He’d smile again, Nighteye was sure of it.

The light crept to dark edges around Nighteye’s vision, petering out, swimming to a coldness and a darkness and a nothingness. But it was one he could take comfort in. He focused only on the image of Mirio’s smile as the heart rate monitors ticked to nothing, and the breath vanished from his lungs, and the future set before him ran through its final swath of film.

[elizabethvaughns]

after yesterday's…debacle? with that one comment about if/then, this has been on my mind for quite a bit, so i'll try and articulate it.

@willowstea has explained incredibly well how if/then isn't really the preferred mainstream media because it's being told through a female gaze and it's about just…life. and i agree with every word of that.

most shows have a male protagonist with perhaps one female deuteragonist (who is usually reduced to a love interest) and perhaps one or two female background characters scattered here and there. moreover, even if the female protagonist has some importance with the role, her screentime is usually lesser. moreover, oftentimes, they tend to fall into a box. innocent and childish. housewife, feminine, and motherly. badass and also incredibly sexualized. the list goes on. and as hester mentioned in her post, there's always this dichotomy of career versus family in popular media (and, therefore, in real life) and women are expected to take the family route. if they take the career route, they're loveless. they're empty. (which is complete bullshit because (a) not everyone is alloromantic and (b) platonic love exists). not so surprisingly enough, this dichotomy only exists for women.

however, if/then subverts those expectations. elizabeth is an incredibly strong and rounded female character. kate, anne, and elena are also well-rounded supporting characters. liz does end up having to give up her dream career, but it's not because of romance or family. it's just due to a chance split-second decision not to take the call. and beth who does prioritize her career over romance doesn't have a loveless life. she develops strong friendships with kate, anne, and elena. beth is not villainized for aborting her pregnancy. lucas is portrayed as the asshole in that scene. and beth's friendship breakup with lucas in act 2 is not trivialized. it understands how much of an emotional toll is created by ending such an important relationship. moreover, the show places equal weight on both timelines. neither is given more time onstage or presented as ''better'' or anything like that.

the men of if/then are characterized realistically and well, at that. not a single one of them exhibits the machismo or the casual misogyny and sexualization that is shown by popular male protags. they're respectful and they help uplift their female counterparts.

all in all, from a feminist gaze, if/then is an incredible show.

at this point, i'd like to note that the theatre criticism industry is, "[an] area dominated by men, with 10% of critics being female in 2017" (source). while the aforementioned source refers to the uk, i'd imagine the statistics in the us are fairly similar.

and this makes the origin of the horrid reviews of this show (and many other female-dominated shows) much, much clearer.

the main issue for them is that it's not told through the male gaze. it doesn't tell their story, which has been told time and time again. it tells a woman's story, from her perspective, where huge shocker here her life isn't dominated/filled with other men. and i think they can't stand that. with all this casual misogyny and whatnot, people have been conditioned to believe that the opinions of girls and women are invalid. if a man likes something, "cool! nice to have hobbies". if a woman likes something, though. "she should do something more useful. this is why she isn't married and doesn't have kids". as a result, media that appeals to women (if/then, for example) is devalued as well. on the other hand, the painfully average (and often subpar) pew pew bang bang movies that appeal to men are considered cinematic classics, great media, etc, etc. furthermore, if/then starred idina menzel, who to those not really interested in theatre, was (and still is, to an extent) known as the actress who played elsa in frozen, a blockbuster hit in 2013 which, huge shocker here, appealed to little girls. whose opinions and interests are highly invalidated.

tl;dr the shitty reviews and reception for if/then are a direct result of the misogyny stemming from the female-centrism of this show.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Soul Brothers of Kung Fu (Hua, 1977)

The last two Bruceploitation movies I watched, True Game of Death and Enter the Game of Death, were about what I expected from the genre. They're clear ripoffs of Bruce Lee's actual movies that restaged specific sequences. Though they differed in quality (the latter was quite a bit better than the former) and had their pleasures (the latter more so than the former), they were definitely of the schlockier vein. Neither movie approached any respectable notions of quality (not that they needed to). Which makes Soul Brothers of Kung Fu a pleasant surprise. In the grand scheme of things it's not substantially more polished than those other movies, but you can see the filmmakers putting in actual effort into the end product and treating the material with a certain seriousness. It's a better and more ambitious movie than it needed to be.

The plot follows three migrants newly arriving in Hong Kong and struggling to eke out an existence. One of them, played by Bruce Li, runs into some mob goons beating up on a young black man played by Carl Scott. After he fends off the goons, he decides to take Scott under his wing and teach him self defense. During their practice on a rooftop, Li ends up demolishing a celebratory watermelon brought by his girlfriend in order to demonstrate his nunchaku technique. Li is a mostly sympathetic figure in this movie, but this is a total asshole move. (This visual is astutely reused in a later fight scene to provide some gruesome punctuation.) Li finds some success as a competitive fighter, but any happiness is purely transitory. You see, the mobsters did not take lightly to Li's insult, and begin to close in on Li and his friends over the course of the movie. One rather effective scene has the main villain train a protege to fight, and you can contrast the warmth between Li and Scott with the cruelty being instilled in this scene. I understand there are two cuts of the movie, with alternately upbeat and downbeat conclusions. I watched the one with the downer ending, and it felt true to the preceding story.

Li is considered the most respectful of the Bruce Lee imitators, and compared to the over the top antics of Bruce Le in Enter the Game of Death, you can see him trying to turn in an actual dramatic performance instead of just an imitation. It's a pretty effective one, although hampered a bit by the dubbing. (Li fares better than Carl Scott, who is saddled with a voiceover artist who initially aims for the "wise guy, eh?" cadence of the Three Stooges.) The movie actually resists excessive Lee imitation at first, although it starts to cave in when Li's character reads a book about Lee, gets asked about his Lee influence in a post-fight interview, and spends the last act of the movie in tracksuits that resemble ones worn by Lee in his movies. The movie is also not immune to schlock, particularly in a training sequence that has Li practice his "Iron Finger" technique with a dummy that makes a beeping noise when he hits it in the crotch and two little red nubs pop out from where the testicles should be. (This visual is also reused in a later fight scene.)

But at the same time, its meager production values give it a certain tension, even if it tries to hide the low budget with Bill Conti's score from Rocky. Hong Kong in this movie is depicted as a cruel, predatory place, and the fight scenes here, which are surprisingly grisly and have a certain gymnastic quality to their choreography, feel especially bruising when staged in the claustrophobic slums and industrial settings that populate this movie. This is not a feel good movie, but I admit by the end I was fairly moved.

[geraltcirilla]

I've seen quite a few people who just seem utterly confused or misinformed by what happened in Endgame and how it affected Agent Carter and Agents of SHIELD. So I'm going to try my best to clear the air.

Note: I’ve edited this a couple of times as people provide more information from the movies and BTS that add additional context and a clearer timeline.

Endgame

Endgame revealed Steve went back in time to marry Peggy. He has been her husband this whole time, and the father of her children. The Marvel confirmed this happened in the MAIN timeline, there is no separate timeline that was created because of his actions. Peggy always married Steve. Don't ask me how that affects the rest of the Avengers movies and if an Old Steve had been lurking around this whole time. I don't think Marvel even knows for certain. (There is a theory going around that since Steve already lived all the events in the Avengers and Captain America movies he was simply avoiding running into his younger self.)

Sharon Carter

How does this affect Steve x Sharon? Sharon Carter is Peggy's great-niece, meaning she is the daughter of Peggy's brother's son and NOT related to Steve by blood. I don't think she would have kissed Steve if she knew he married her great aunt, so it's likely when Steve returned to the 1940s he did not reveal his return and assumed a different identity. But this revelation still does make her kiss with Steve pretty gross.

Agent Carter

How does that impact the end of Agent Carter?

Steve went back in time AFTER the events of Agent Carter, so everything that happened in that show is still canon. Agents of SHIELD S7 confirmed Sousa was Peggy's partner in the SSR and helped her form SHIELD, he was one of the original high ranking officers of SHIELD, he was Chief Officer of the Western Region of SHIELD, and he was the first casualty of SHIELD (and therefore the first name put on the Wall of Valor). Sousa is considered a "legend" in SHIELD history.

We do not know what happened with Peggy and Sousa's relationship, but we do know by 1955 (the events of Agents of SHIELD S7) he and Peggy have broken up and are no longer work partners.

The Timeline Breakdown

So Steve "dies" in 1945 in CA:TFA.

Agent Carter season 1 begins in 1946, where Peggy and Sousa first meet as agents at the Eastern Division of the SSR.

Agent Carter season 2 ends in 1947 with Sousa and Peggy starting a relationship, and Sousa Chief of the Western Division of the SSR.

The shooting script for Endgame states the year Steve goes back to is 1949. 

In CA:TWS we see a Smithsonian interview with Peggy that takes place in 1953, and in it she states she is married.

In 1955 Sousa and Coulson have a conversation about how neither have ever been married.

You can easily deduce here that the husband Peggy references in the Smithsonian interview is Steve, not Sousa. At best Sousa and Peggy dated for two years.

Peggy & Sousa

So what happened between Peggy and Sousa?

We know the end of Agent Carter showed the potential for the beginning of a relationship. But neither Endgame nor Agents of SHIELD has outright said what happened. However, Agents of SHIELD has the benefit of actually having Daniel Sousa as a character now. He was taken by Coulson's SHIELD team right before he died and his death was staged. So according to history he died in 1955, but he's actually alive and traveling through time with the team. And with that, we are being fed breadcrumbs about him, his life, and his relationship with Peggy. Now once again nothing has been explicitly stated but we have been given a lot to infer with.

So let me get to the meat of it: I reject the notion that Sousa broke up with Peggy. I think based off certain actions and things he said in AOS it's pretty clear he harbored some unresolved feelings for Peggy in 1955, which is more in line with the dumped person, rather than a dump-ee. When he thinks Peggy has come to visit his division he fixes his hair in a reflection. He seems nervous by her arrival. He briefly mentions liking a certain type of person who fits Peggy's description, and talks about people he wanted to say goodbye to or see one last time (these vague statements were confirmed by the AOS writers to be about Peggy). I just think if he was the one to have ended things he'd be reflecting on it a bit differently.

And if you look back at Agent Carter, historically Sousa has consistently been the one more invested in their relationship than Peggy. In season 1 Sousa has a crush on Peggy, but Peggy is still hung up on Steve. At the end of the season Sousa actually asks Peggy out to dinner and she turns him down. In season 2 Sousa "runs away" to the Western Division of the SSR to escape Peggy and a broken heart. Peggy then has a romance with a man named Jason Wilkes. It's not until the end of season 2 when Peggy is finally open to the idea of pursuing a romance with Sousa, but it was a long road to get there and she wasn't always certain she wanted to. Keeping this in mind, it is more in-character and canon-compliant if Peggy left Sousa, NOT the other way around.

Now this is where y'all are going to hate me, but I think I have the facts on my side here so please don't come for my throat. If we are looking for a reason why Peggy would break up with Sousa, the answer is clear: Steve. The timelines match up. Steve returned to the past in 1949 right after the events of Agent Carter, meaning right after Peggy just started a relationship with Sousa.

Peggy wouldn't pursue a relationship with Sousa in season 1 of Agent Carter because she was hung-up on the memory of Steve. If Steve returned, alive, for her, three to four years after his "death", do you really believe Peggy would turn him down for Sousa? Sousa, who she only knew for three years and had only been dating for about ~2 years (if we are being generous)? There's no way. I'm sorry but it's not happening. It wouldn’t be in-character for Peggy. The Marvel universe had continuously built up Peggy and Steve to be that epic love that can’t be beat (both in the movies AND in the show Agent Carter), and as cute and Peggy and Sousa were, they were simply not comparable to what Peggy and Steve had. 

Now in 1955 when Sousa and Coulson are talking, Coulson says "There was someone. I couldn't stick around long enough to make it last," and Sousa said he had a similar story. Some people have taken this as an admission of guilt that the end of Peggysous was Sousa's fault, but I disagree. First, because Steve returned to the past after he died, as I stated previously he would have hid his identity and his return from everyone but Peggy to preserve the timeline. This is why Sharon didn't know Young Steve was her future great-uncle. So it is very possible Peggy didn't tell Sousa about Steve and Sousa doesn't know why the relationship ended, and by trying to justify and explain it to himself Sousa ended up placing the blame on his own actions or behavior in the relationship. Let's not forget when Coulson was talking about his "someone" (Melinda May) he didn't break up with her -- he died. So it's not like Coulson and Sousa were having a conversations about how they left anyone, they were having a conversation about how they felt the end of their relationships were their own faults.

So I think it is very, very fair to say Peggy and Sousa's relationship ended because she was still in love with Steve. And there's nothing wrong with that. No one is at fault. Sometimes relationships don't work out and it's okay. Believe it or not but there's no villains here.

Sousa and Peggy both got their happy endings, just not with each other. So there’s no bad blood. Everything worked out as it should.

Anyways! The only purpose of my post here is to clear the air, because I've read just about enough posts saying "...when Sousa broke up with Peggy..." and I really don't think that's true or fair to him. Nobody ever said Sousa broke up with Peggy, please leave my mans alone.

Edit: Also, as someone added in the replies to this post, right around the time Peggy and Sousa started their relationship Sousa was West Coast Chief of the SSR and Peggy was about to join Howard Stark and others to form SHIELD in New Jersey. This combo among Steve returning is the perfect storm for a breakup.

[funkymbtifiction]

Thanks a lot for answering! I wonder could you please give examples of everyday deeds/types of behavior of different primaries and secondaries? Like what are they like when there's a school test or when they need to visit a doctor? The more the better. Something more down-to-earth than the situations from the fantasy movies listed on the website that may never take place in the real world, something found in everyday life that will help someone identify themselves and mb others around them

I’m not sure I can do that, because frankly, your Primary House is a state of mind. It’s what you want and how you feel about things (or do not feel, in the case of Ravenclaws, ahem). But I can talk about a few things, particularly in response to Harry Potter, that can shed light on the state of mind of the Primary.

What I have most noticed about people in general is that we all have a built-in bias, and in order to find our true type—whether that is our MBTI type, our Enneagram core and tritype, or our Hogwarts House combination—we must abandon our ego defenses. What does that mean? We have to overcome our biases and want to know our true self, and own it, more than we want to fight against an answer that might not please us. In the Enneagram, I’ve noticed particular biases against being a 2 or a 6. Everyone wants to be the more “glamorous” 4 or the elusive, bookworm 5.

Harry Potter, for better or worse, introduced us to the concept of Hogwarts Houses, but also introduced us to a bias, because it made Gryffindor the most glamorous House, due to all the main characters (however unrealistically) hailing from that House. Or, at least, all the main characters we like. Ravenclaw is full of wise weirdos like Luna Lovegood, who irrationally believes in things no one can prove. Slytherin is host to mostly back-stabbing, snobbish cheaters. And Hufflepuff is an “afterthought” where all “the boring, nice people are.”

What I like about Sorting Hat Chats is… they made the entire system more interesting and a lot fairer. Now, Slytherin isn’t the only House with villains automatically placed in it: their villains have to be specific in their love (and not betray their family, because it is the house of My Family is My Life). This also means people, fictional or real, who prioritize their loved ones, are Slytherins. Such as Mr. Darcy, or Katniss Everdeen. Suddenly, being a Slytherin doesn’t seem so bad, right? Not if you are loyal to the ones you love! That alone will appeal to the mindset of a Slytherin, because they will think, “Of COURSE I am. Of COURSE my loved ones come first! They SHOULD!”

I have friends in all four Primary Houses, but I will use myself as an example of the Ravenclaw. When I was reading the books, having all the main characters in Gryffindor bothered me, because not only did it show a bias, but I felt some of the main characters ‘belonged’ in other Houses—such as Remus Lupin being a Hufflepuff rather than a Gryffindor. I also felt like Hermione belonged in Ravenclaw. But that is neither here nor there… my objections to the system came from the logical flaws in how she arranged it. It wasn’t realistic to have everyone ‘important’ or ‘admirable’ within the story come from Gryffindor. It was easier to have them share Common Rooms, but people don’t isolate like that and only befriend someone from their House. They look for like-minded friends who share interests, and would make them all over the place. It was my little Ravenclaw brain, pulling away at her system and finding flaws in its logic, but reacting from a place of logical reasoning rather than moral indignation.

When I took the SHC test, it placed me in Slytherin. And I was not opposed to that. In fact, I explored it for a long time, as I thought about how I respond in various situations. Slytherin appealed to me, because… I wish I could stand up for my family automatically. I wish I could prioritize my loved ones all the time. But I kept hitting upon the fact that – I like to think about things in a detached manner, and come to what I feel is a rational consensus. It’s more clinical and less emotional than Slytherins are—and it helped at the time that I knew a Slytherin, and could easily see both how possessive she was of people (they are “mine to protect” – she always reminded me of Slytherin Sam Gamgee in The Lord of the Rings, with his “MY MR. FRODO”) and how, without fail, her sister came before even me, her best friend. Through comparison, I knew I had to be something else. So in typical Ravenclaw fashion, I went through and considered them all. Because, as a Ravenclaw, I want to be RIGHT more than protect my ego. I am always looking for the truth, even when it hurts. And I am always measuring the world against an ideal in my head, built up of my belief system. I do not go against my beliefs; I mold myself to them. And it shocks me to find others who do not, but who claim to be the same as I am. I take, for example, my Christian faith seriously—so what do you mean you are ignoring what your faith says, and doing whatever you want??? YOU MOLD TO YOUR BELIEFS, DON’T YOU? Well, yes, if you are a Ravenclaw, you do. If you are any other House, you do not.

The Hufflepuff Primary I know has a far more ‘felt’ opinion of the books and their sorting system. She got livid reading them, and thinking about how constantly unfair it all was, how biased Rowling was, and how Dumbledore was clearly playing favorites constantly with Gryffindor House. She developed a bad attitude about him as a result… which, of course, is coming from her being a Hufflepuff. To a Hufflepuff, people come first. They are all treated fairly and seen as equals. You do not discriminate, you do not alienate, you do not give unfair favors to Harry and his friends, just so Gryffindor can win the House Cup over and over again. She was actually so angry about this, from a Hufflepuff perspective, that she was willing to be a Slytherin in defiance of ‘The System’ until she realized that kind of mindset is… pure Hufflepuff. “You are not being fair about this, I will oppose you.” It’s all instinctual, it’s all emotional, and it’s all loyalty to the human race, which includes Slytherins. (This caused us some friction for awhile, until I realized it was “just a Hufflepuff” objection, because... how can you be mad at Dumbledore for that? It’s just a convenient plot device in the book! ... says the Ravenclaw who isn’t getting too emotionally involved. ;)

The Slytherin I know, by the way, denied being a Slytherin at first, because she felt ashamed of it. She has been taught to act like a Hufflepuff, that she SHOULD care about everyone all the time, but… she does not. She cares about her loved ones the most, and she would protect them above other people, every time. I pointed out to her that Hufflepuff fits her less than Slytherin, because “You ARE Katniss. You told me that once. That you identified so heavily with her, because you would go into the arena for your Prim.” And then she admitted it, and saw the gloriousness that is being a loyal Slytherin.

The Gryffindor I know is always looking for a Cause, and… as a Ravenclaw, I find that exhausting. She wants to be mad about things, because that anger gives her the fire she needs to do something about it. She has taken on big Causes by financially supporting the Causes she cares about, and done physical things about smaller Causes. For example, as a teenager, she came upon three guys tormenting a dog. It made her so livid, she charged straight at them, swearing and screaming at them to leave the animal alone, and it scared them all so much, they turned tail and ran. She just knew it was the right thing to do, and she and I often butt heads a lot, because she expects everyone else (meaning me) to be as passionate as she is about doing the ‘right thing.’ My more detached “well, let’s look at both sides of this issue” has no place in her black and white Gryffindor mind (no, that is WRONG).

Secondary Houses are… something that may take a little more time to figure out, as you think about how you handle the ‘unexpected.’

Gryffindors… have to speak up if they see an injustice, or hear something they disagree with. They are they person who cannot keep their mouth shut, they need to voice their opinion. They don’t care if you don’t like it or don’t agree, to not state their views would be antagonistic to their central self. My Hufflepuff friend is a Gryffindor Secondary. Not only did she get mad about the biases in Harry Potter, she complained loudly about it, to me, and to other people, and even in a blog post, because the injustice of it needed drawn-attention to, and dealt with, and she doesn’t really care if you disagree. That’s just how she rolls, about EVERYTHING. Because Gryffindor Secondaries state their views. They see an injustice, and they rush toward it. (My Gryffindor friend is also a Gryffindor Secondary: see dog being abused, rush in to do something about it!)

Ravenclaws… want to prepare for everything, and then rely on their own skill set to handle problems as they arise. They are the person who, when their bike breaks down halfway home, consider what they know about bikes (can they fix this easily?), and what they know about public transportation (am I going to be able to catch a bus home?), and make decisions from there. Or who study for a test in advance and show up, only to panic because they found out they read the wrong chapter in the book and know nothing about it. My father is a Gryffindor with a Ravenclaw Secondary, and he over-prepares himself with any useful knowledge he thinks he might need to combat a wide variety of situations—and then is stumped if confronted by something he did not prepare for, and knows nothing about. He is always trying to think ahead and prepare so that he doesn’t have to improvise anything at the last second—because he sucks at it.

It was a comparison with him that actually shifted me away from assuming I had a Ravenclaw Secondary, because… I don’t suck at improvising. I’m actually quite good at it. And I don’t over-prepare, because in true Hufflepuff Secondary position, I figure I can ask someone for help. And they always give it to me. But what really cemented the deal for me, in terms of recognizing my Puff Secondary House, were two—no, make that three, truths from my life. 1) Ravenpuffs distill complex information and put it back out into the world for others to enjoy (hello, Funky!). 2) Puff Secondaries show up and do the tireless work, clock the hours, and are highly reliable, which is… me. I have run this site day in and day out for years. I am punctual, fastidious, I put my responsibilities ahead of all else (even turning down fun occasions because I need to work), and I will painstakingly work on perfecting something, finishing something, improving something, or polishing something (even when I’m bored). In short, I show up and do the work. And 3) the truth that Puff Secondaries have friends to stand up for them, because they have proven themselves reliable and trustworthy, is no joke. A few years ago, I had trouble with someone online and, without being asked, three of our mutual friends came to my defense. Proof of the Puff.

Lastly, Slytherin Secondaries are highly adaptable. It’s no problem for them to shift their approach given the needs of the situation. It’s the equivalent of a friend you admire, but who puzzles you (if you don’t share their Slytherin Secondary trait) because… it seems like they are a different person everywhere you go, because whatever is needed, they can become it. They are the person who has no trouble with change and no need to plan, because they just trust that it’s all going to work out fine, based on their ability to adapt. It’s the person who shows up at a friend’s birthday party expecting it to be formal, finds out it’s casual, sneaks into the bathroom to rearrange their attire, and emerges ready to play Twister. Or who will be serious with you, joke constantly with your brother, and behave like a saint around your mom, according to whatever works and appeals to you the best.

Hope some of that helps, though it wasn’t explicitly what you asked for. Best this ENFP can do, since in-depth sensory specific examples require a heck of a lot more Si than I’ve got. :P

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - The Alchemist Returns

Strap in folks, cause this is going to be a long one. In truth, there are very few flaws in this episode, but in order to explain them I have to really get into some character analysis first. 

Summary:  Varian comes to Rapunzel for help in finding the remnants of the mystical golden flower, which may hold the key to stopping the Black Rocks. Working together, they venture through the old tunnels beneath Corona. Meanwhile Cass and Eugene work together to figure out who drugged the castle’s populace with a truth serum. 

Behold! The One and Only Time Frederic is Called Out on His BS; and Nothing Comes of It. 

Rapunzel finally, finally stands up to her dad and points out both his abusiveness and his poor leadership. It doesn’t affect the narrative in anyway. Neither character learns anything from this nor changes their points of view. This conversation might as well not have happened given how the characters behave in later episodes/seasons. 

The only reason this scene exists is to give Rapunzel motivation for stealing the flower within the episode. A goal that she changes her mind about towards the end. Thereby walking back on such motivation and putting us back at square one with her development. 

Rapunzel Isn’t Being Truthful With Herself Nor the Audience 

So people aren't always one hundred percent truthful about what they want and their goals. Especially if it involves admitting something about yourself or a loved one that you don’t want to acknowledge. Fictional characters are meant to give the illusion of being real so they can sometimes mimic this behavior.  

Throughout the episode Rapunzel keeps on assisting that she’s doing this ‘for Corona’, but we’re given context clues along side that to tell us that her real reasons are about her relationship with her father. 

Unfortunately, the show has a bad habit of not communicating information clearly and also has a history of expecting the audience to take what the characters say at face value. Ergo, it’s easy to miss Rapunzel’s true motivations and thereby fail to fully understand her actions and decisions throughout. 

Once Again, These Prophetic Dreams Go Nowhere 

Dream Varian mentions Rapunzel has a ‘destiny’ but the show never spells out what that destiny actually is nor why she needs to fulfill it. Sure there’s a big quest for the moonstone in season two, but the rocks stop being a threat by then so really, she doesn’t actually need to go on that quest. In fact, she would save a lot of people at lot of trouble if she did nothing at all. That’s poor storytelling. You need something driving the action; a reason to motivate the hero.  

Secondly, we never get an explanation for why she randomly has these dreams in the first season but for none of the others. Nor why Varian is at the center of the them when it’s other villains she needs to actually be warned about, like say Zhan Tiri. 

No, the real reason why this dream sequence exists is just to reiterate Rapunzel’s internal conflict. She wants a relationship with her Dad, but he’s a male Gothel, and she’s now caught in the middle of his and Varian’s conflict because she failed to take responsibility when she needed to. And is still failing because she doesn’t want to shatter her illusions about Frederic. 

Shoving the main protagonist’s driving conflit into a subtextual dream sequence is lazy. Especially since we get no official resolution to said conflict. Rapunzel never acknowledges the problem here, never follows up on any type of action, and she never faces any true consequences for ignoring the issue. 

She carries on believing in her fantasy version of Frederic, even as he continues to do harmful things, and the narrative just rewards both her and him for it. 

There Should Have Been an Episode Showing the Audience Varian’s Side of the Story 

What happened to Varian in between Queen for a Day and this episode is told only through context clues. Nothing is stated outright, meaning the audience has to rely too heavily on inference and are left to piece together what happened on their own like a puzzle. That’s poor writing. 

Even something as simple as ‘how much time has past’ (its three months btw, S1 is six months long and QfaD is the meant to be the midpoint) is left up to the viewer to keep up with rather then being clearly stated. This is made even harder to do by the marketing team showing most of the episodes out of order. 

You need to clearly relay information to your audience. That means repeating said information in a variety of ways over the course of the story. Have those context clues, but also have more overt hints, and direct reveals interspersed along with that. Especially when dealing with the motivations and goals of the character driving the main plot. 

Even if you attribute the lack of a Varain episode to the ‘twist’ in this one, (a twist that was revealed in QfaD anyways) there’s still no excuse for why we didn’t get a flashback episode afterwards to fill this hole in narrative out.  

Don’t Pretend Ignorance Rapunzel 

Nigel literally repeated the rumor to her face last episode. She knows her father is lying about the rocks and attacked her for the scroll. She knows from the letter that those same guards were chasing down Varian for said scroll. She knows about Corona’s laws and what would happen to Varian if the guards caught him. 

There is zero reason for her to be acting like this is new information. Let alone have any right to feign concern after three months of ignoring his plea for help.

That’s what I mean about the series not communicating clearly and wanting the audience to take things at face value. The show deliberately has the characters say things that contradict established events to try and get the audience on their side. 

The episode is trying to telling us, ‘See! Rapunzel is innocent in all this cause she didn’t know, but she’s trying to make up for it now’. Yet, if you’ve been watching and paying attention to the details, you know that’s not the truth here. 

Good writing is about communicating ideas to your audience. But this show can’t decide on which idea to communicate. Is Rapunzel at fault or no? You can’t have it both ways. Either she screwed up and thereby caused the conflict in question now or she didn’t. If she didn’t, then events shouldn’t progress like they do. If she did, then it needs to be acknowledged and she needs to held accountable by the narrative.  

More Hints into Rapunzel's True Motivation 

I can’t stress this enough. Rapunzel’s reasons for stealing the flower has nothing to do with Corona. That is an excuse. It’s about trying to find out what her Dad is hiding from her and why he’s lying to her. This comment right here is what compels Raps to go along with his plan.  

Also...

Varian Isn’t Lying Here

I also want to make it perfectly clear that Varian is being upfront with Raps. He tells her his plan is to steal the flower and why. She’s the one that makes the assumption that this entails them only taking one petal and the assumption that ‘all our problems’ only means saving Corona. Even though saving Corona and saving Quirin are the same problem. (more on this later) 

It’s important to understand Rapunzel’s thought process and her true motivations in order to make sense of her actions later in the story. 

Rapunzel’s internal conflict is her need for autonomy versus her fear of rejection. The ‘for Corona’ and ‘one petal’ excuses are used because she thinks they’ll play well with her Dad. In order words, they’re reassurances to her that should she get caught and have to face her father’s disapproval then she could counteract his arguments with his own belief system about ‘putting the kingdom’s needs first’ and ‘following your own inner voice.’ 

And yes, both Rapunzel and Frederic are big fat hypocrites for this, but Rapunzel hasn’t acknowledged that fact to herself and is trying to convince herself throughout the episode to believe in her own excuses. 

Why Do You Care About Treason Rapunzel? 

For context, treason is the highest crime in any country. It’s punishable by death, even in the real world. Now each country has its own legal definition of what constitutes as treason. Here in a America, in Article III, Section 3 of the United States Constitution, treason is specifically limited to levying war against the US, or adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. And only during a time of war. Legally, a time of war has to be approved by the US congress. Technically, congress hasn’t declared war since World War II. This is why certain people haven’t been convicted of treason like acts both in, and out of, later US conflicts because the definition is arguably too narrow and specific. But it’s intentionally that way to help prevent false accusations and to keep people in power from murdering their political opposition. 

Before the US, treason just meant opposing the ruler of the land in any way. The founding fathers committed treason just by signing the Declaration of Independence. They all would have been executed had the US lost the revolution. Here in Corona, that old definition still stands. Simple theft of royal property, a non violent act, is considered treason and we already know it’s punishment. Eugene stole royal property and was almost hanged for it in the movie. 

Now Rapunzel though, she is royalty. This stuff she’s stealing is technically her own property. She’ll inherit all of these things once Queen. Moreover, we all know that Frederic wouldn’t harm Rapunzel let alone kill her. She’s not in any real danger here. So why does she care? 

Remember that Rapunzel’s internal conflict is personal autonomy versus her fear of rejection. She only hesitates in her pursuit of answers when reminded of Frederic’s possible disapproval. That’s why she stops under his frowning picture to say this. “Treason” only means possible rejection or disapproval from her father. The worst thing she faces is another argument with him.   

Meanwhile, Varian’s life is very much at stake here. He is risking everything, quite literally, to save his father. But his life was arguably forfeit as soon as Frederic decided he wanted the scroll. What’s to prevent the king from claiming that as his own property even when it’s really not? If he’s already sent guards after Varian and the scroll then that’s precisely what he’s already done. 

The series is acting like Rapunzel is the reasonable one here because she questions stealing, but the reality is she’s being selfish and willfully obtuse. Multiple lives are at stake here, including the one of the person she is talking to right now. Breaking the law, defying her father, in order to save those lives shouldn’t even be in question at all. 

Corona and Quirin Aren’t Conflicting Interests. 

Quirin and Corona are both facing the same problem. Solving one will inevitably mean solving the other. Any distinction between the two is solely created within Rapunzel’s own mind. 

She does this to to hide her true motivations and conflict from herself. The show does this to try and villainize Varian over Frederic. 

There’s a clear bias in who the series wants you to root for and so it skews the perception of what’s actually at stake by creating a non-existent competition between Quirin’s life and the country’s safety. Even though Quirin, Varian, and Old Corona are all apart of the kingdom. They’re all Rapunzel’s and Federic’s responsibly too. Saving Quirin’s life should be more than reason enough to steal the flower on it’s own. 

But this is ‘Rapunzel’s show’ and according to the creators, that means that her personal feelings are more important than actual human lives. Not really, but that’s their mindset and approach to conflicts in the show.

Rapunzel’s True Motivation is Revealed

So we’ve followed the hints, but here it is stated outright. This was never about Corona, the rocks,Varian’s safety, nor Quirin’s life. This is about her need for autonomy. Her own personal quest for assertiveness. She’s been bullied and abused by two steprate parental figures now and she’s growing tired of it. Which is understandable and valid, but it shouldn’t be made more important than everyone else’s problems. Everytime Rapunzel says ‘for Corona’, she really means ‘for herself.’ 

Rapunzel Shouldn’t be the Only Person Solving the Obstacles Here

Varian is just as smart as Rapunzel, if not smarter. This has been established throughout the show both before and after this episode. Meanwhile, Rapunzel is more physically adept than Varian. This whole sequence in the tunnels should have been both Rapunzel and Varian teaming up and complementing the other’s skill sets. They need to be on equal footing in order to sell their conflict later on. But the show deliberately down plays Varian’s competence in this episode in an effort to make Rapunzel look good.  

‘Girl power’ shouldn’t mean making the character perfect. It especially shouldn’t mean making other characters weaker in comparison. Women want equality. That means we want to see female characters treated as people. That means we want female characters to be flawed while still contributing to the plot same as the male characters. That doesn’t mean we want to be paraded around as the only competent person in the room. We want to be on the same level as the boys not above them.    

Over idealization and glorification of ‘strong’ female characters is just as problematic as damsels in distresses.

Writers like Chris Sonnenburg grew up during the heyday of Third-wave Feminism. Right on the cusp between second-wave and third-wave points of view as women really started to challenge Hollywood’s portrayal of themselves as homemakers and love interests. They wanted to be the heroes for once. Starting in the 60s and reaching pick popularity in the 70s and early 80s, film makers responded by making female characters who could physically fight but either failed to give them any sort of depth and/or made them the only archetype available.   

Chris, and several other male writers who lived during this era, have internalized this approach by default without actually examining how it came into existence nor why women would no longer be satisfied by this portrayal of them, if they ever were. All we’ve done is trade one stereotype for another, as male creators fetishize what was once meant to be an attempt to empower ourselves.       

Had Chis actually brought more female writers onto the show and listened to the criticisms from his female crew, he could have better avoided problems like the one above. But instead he dug in his heels and insisted that he already knew what we wanted. He doesn’t. 

Why Would You Assume This Eugene?

Varian hasn’t actually done anything wrong yet. His worst crimes are drugging people with a magic potion, which is what Xavier did without consequence only two episodes ago, and attempting to steal a magical healing flower that the king has been hoarding from his subjects anyways. A king who has been persecuting Varian unfairly and they know this because of Quest for Varian. 

Eugene of all people should be sympathetic towards Varian’s plight. He’s been there himself. He should also know that the rumors about Varian attacking Rapunzel are untrue because Raps told him about the events of Queen for a Day herself. 

Meanwhile Cassandra was actually there. She knows Varian’s problems and is supposedly his ‘friend.’ She has even less reason to be hostile towards him. 

But once again, the series has the characters respond to things that contradict established events in order to create a bias in the audience. “See, Eugene and Cass doesn’t trust Varian and neither should Rapunzel. See, how evil he really is?” It tries to tell us. In order to convince us to excuse Frederic’s behavior so that when the series does just that through Rapunzel choosing his side we’ll be on board with it. You know, unless you have been paying attention, already have a developed moral code, and the reasoning facilities of an adult. 

Rapunzel Lacks Empathy     

Keep in mind, ‘for Corona’ really means ‘for herself’. The only competition between Quirin and the kingdom is one that she’s fabricated in her own mind. Varian not caring about the island punctures holes into her excuses. Even though Varian is a fourteen/fifteen year old who holds no responsibility for the safety of a whole country. Especially one that’s mistreated him. Of course his father’s life is going to be more important to him. 

What Rapunzel is really asking here is, “Why don't you care about what I care about?” “Why aren’t you concerned about my feelings over your own?” 

Which makes sense for her character. She’s a woman who has been trapped in a tower her whole life. She lacks the experience needed to be an empathetic person. She’s never had to grieve before. The only permanent death she’s known is that of her abuser. Her trauma over nearly losing Eugene and Pascal was the fear of loss, not the actual process of living without someone. Rapunzel has no framework of reference in order to truly understand what Varian is going through. 

Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone. Empathy is understanding how a person feels. Rapunzel may be a sympathetic person but she’s not an empathetic one and there’s a difference between being ‘nice’ and being kind. The show presents to us a woman who needs to learn that difference. The problem is that she never does. 

This is actually a brilliant conflict and point of characterization. It’s taking what we already know about a character and expanding upon it to give us believable flaws that impact the story. I actually like this conflict. I like this portrayal. I initially preferred the series over the movie because of this. 

I want Rapunzel to be flawed. I want her flaws to to inform the plot. I want to like her as a character. But I can’t. Because the show never acknowledges these flaws, never has her grow as a person. She remains unempathetic and selfish till the end even as she gains more experience, and the show acts like she is justified in hurting others.  

This exchange is the quillivant of  a rich person who donates money to environmentalist causes trying to shame a poor child for daring to ‘waste water’ in order to take a bath, even while ignoring their own factories spewing pollutants into the local river. The show tries to claim that classism is okay so long as it’s perpetuated by the creator’s favs. 

Varian is in the Right   

First off he never claimed that he was only going to take one petal. Rapunzel just assumed that. Also, he’s right there is no difference. Once again Rapunzel has fabricated a distinction in her mind in order to have an excuse to sell her  dad. She only hesitates now because taking the whole thing means there’s more risk of getting caught and less possibility of weaseling out of punishment through deniability. 

Never mind that Frederic doesn’t own the flower anyways. He stole it from Gothel first, outside of his land’s borders. Never mind that him taking the flower actually causes harm to others while stealing it back does not. Never mind that breaking a law to save a human life is not only justifiable but preferable. Never mind that the king is essentially hoarding medicine from the populace, thereby breaking the social contract of a leader towards his people and becoming a despot instead.       

No, Varian hurt Rapunzel’s feelings so he’s evil don’t you see? He placed his needs above the main character’s wants and desires, ergo the series treats him as a villain. 

Look, I’m not saying that Varian is without fault nor that everything he does is justifiable. But the show (and certain fans) goes out of its way to demonize the character even when he’s doing what’s actually morally right. This isn’t the point when Varian falls to the darkside, that’s yet to come, but it is the point where the series starts to play favorites with its characters at the expense of teaching coherent lessons. 

Inconsistent Messages 

Yes, how dare he do the exact same thing as Pascal and Max did two episodes later. Don’t you know, he’s the villain; even though he actually has more reason to use the truth serum than they did the mood potion. 

The problem of centering so much of the conflict on Rapunzel’s personal feelings means that Rapunzel and the show has double standards for how characters are treated. Friends of Rapunzel gets free passes. Lack of friendship means you’re now the enemy and can’t be excused. Even though in real life that is what we call nepotism and an abuse of power.   

Authoritarianism Vs Consequentialism   

When you mention the word authoritarianism to someone they automatically picture in their head armed men in uniforms marching in the streets attacking innocent people on behalf of a dictator’s orders. Yet, that’s not what authoritarianism is. That’s fascism, which can spring forth from authoritarians gaining political power but it’s not the only manifestation of this philosophy.  

Authoritarianism is the belief system that the ‘authority’ is always right, even when wrong. An authoritarian will find any excuse to follow and believe in their chosen authority even when that authority has failed them or others.

The opposing philosophy here is consequentialism. That’s the belief that right and wrong are directly linked to consequence. To their minds something is morally wrong if the action has a bad outcome for others. 

To illustrate the difference let's look at a near universal rule. 

“Murder is wrong.” 

Now both the authoritarian and the consequentialist will normally agree with this. But the ‘why’ to them couldn’t be any more different. 

To an authoritarian ‘murder is wrong’ because the authority has deemed it so. That authority can be anything that the anthoritian has personally chosen; God, the government, their parents ect. It’s completely arbitrary and subject to change on a whim. The authoritarian lacks consistency and conviction and will often have multiple chosen authorities that will contradict one another. If one of those authorities came out in favor of murder then there’s a strong chance that the authoritarian will change their position or belief as oppose to denouncing their chosen leader.     

Meanwhile, ‘murder is wrong’ to the consequentialist because there are clear irreversibly bad consequences for doing it. It removes a life from the world. All possibilities for that person are now forever snuffed out. It hurts those left behind. ect. The consequentialist is consistent in their beliefs so long as the consequence remains the same. They can’t be swayed by mere orders. That’s not to say that consequentialism is incorruptible. A consequentialist can easily become a knight templar if they are forced to weigh consequences against each other. Then it becomes ‘murder is still wrong unless it achieves this arbitrary goal’.  

In truth, morality is a sliding scale for most people and you normally hold more than one ethical belief system. However history has proven that authoritarianism is the more often dangerous and corruptible philosophy as it relies heavily on peer pressure, groupthink, and yes, abuse. Most authortians don't come from healthy loving homes. Either they were abused or are abusers themselves. When conducting studies on authoritarianism psychologists and sociologists use questions about parenting in order to pinpoint who is and isn’t an authoritarian as most people aren’t going to just come right out and claim we should go back to feudalism and the divine right of kings. 

An out of control authoritarian is a bully with power. An out of control consequentialist is just a vigilante. 

Frederic and Varian are the representatives of the two sides of these opposing belief systems and the representatives of what happens when people with those belief systems become corrupt. By having the main character choose between the two of them and siding with the her father, the authoritarian, the show is now validating this philosophy. 

Breaking an unjust law shouldn’t be presented as a bad thing here. Blindly accepting Frederic’s rule shouldn’t be the end result of all this. Excusing his abusive behavior shouldn’t be the finale outcome of the story. There’s not a single thing that Frederic, and by extension Rapunzel, does that hasn’t been done by corrupt governments in the real world. Their reasons for doing so be damned. 

Given the current political landscape and the increasing push to give real life anthortirans more power, this was absolutely the wrong message to put into a children’s show. It’s not that children will grow up to become authoritarians themselves by just watching the show, but it can condition them to go along with authoritarian abuse if they are now familiar the excuses abusers use to validate their actions. Especially, if they are already trapped in an abusive environment and are being fed these excuses by their current abusers. 

I've already seen this toxic thought process played out by younger members of the fandom who are only just now forming their moral codes. “Accept what’ve you’ve been given.” “It’s okay, your parent (the authority) loves you and knows what’s best” “Hurting people is alright because they’ve been hurt you need to ofter up understanding” 

NO!

Theses aren’t good lessons. These are the lies fed to you by abusive people. And the show repeatedly validates, justifies, and excuses both abuse and political corruption. Whether the creators believe this philosophy or not, they just  approved of it anyways through their own incompetence.  

Varian has Every Reason to Not Trust Rapunzel

This the third time in three months that Rapunzel has backed out of helping him. All for increasingly flimsy reasons. She’s making a lot of promises here but not offering up any concrete solutions. Remember she’s not ready to confront her father yet, and neither of them know that she’s the sundrop herself. So what is her plan here? How is she suppose to recuse Quirin and prevent Varian from being unjustly punished if she can’t stand up to the one person who is responsible for causing these problems in the first place. 

Can you really blame Varian for going through with what he does here given how she has treated him thus far and would most likely continue to treat him? Yet that’s precisely what the show wants you to do because ‘stealing is wrong’ even though in this case it actually isn’t. 

This is Out of Character

Once again, both Cass and Eugene have no reason within the current narrative to be so hostile towards Varian, yet. They’re only doing so now to create bias in the viewer. For Eugene this is especially out of character. I mean we’ve already seen Cass place her ambitions of above others people’s needs both before and after this, but Eugene is constantly written as the heart of the show. He’s suppose to be the most empathetic and caring person in the group, and yet here he is trying to arrest an orphan who’s only stealing to survive. Sound familiar? He of all people should be the first to defend Varian not attack him.

Excuse You, Raps!

You know very well what he is. He’s a child. A lost, lonely, grieving, and desperate child who’s been let down by everyone who is responsible for him including yourself. But far be it for the show to actually point this out by stating it plainly and show you for the self centered ass you really are. 

Scenes Like This are Why Varian Should Have Been the Deuteragonist

His story maybe connected to Rapunzel’s but it doesn’t revolve around her. He has his own stakes and conflicts that happen to intersect or oppose with Raps given whatever point in the narrative we’re at. As such we gets scenes like this one in his lab where he is the sole focus and is pushing the story forward. No other character actually gets this. 

Eugene’s arc has little to no bearing on the overall plot and Cassandra’s solo scenes in season three do nothing to further push the story nor give new insights into her character, as her given goal and motivation is too dependent upon Rapunzel herself to be shown separately.  

Out of all the main characters, Varian’s conflict is the only one that holds enough tension to maintain a separate story line. He needs this focus in order to make sense of what's going on with the larger picture and to resolve his conflict in a satisfying manner. Had the the creators been smart enough to follow through with Varian’s story till the end instead of dumping it at the last minute in season two and hastily rewriting a half-arsed resolution it in season three, then we’ve could have gotten the Disney equivalent of a Zuko vs. Aang, Loki vs Thor, or even Duck vs Rue/Fakir arc. As is, we’re only left with the table scraps of several loosely connected stories none of which are very satisfying to watch. 

Conclusion

I still like this episode and Varian’s arc overall but I can't in good conscience call it well written knowing now where it all leads to. Nor can I in could good conscience recommend the show knowing the awful morals it touts. And that makes me angry. Angry that I was fooled into thinking that this show had depth and maturity. Angry that I ever once held this show up as being good. Angry that I invested myself into believing that this show would finally give me a decent Disney anti-villain that I could like. Angry that trusted the creators not to be raging arseholes who made poor creative decisions based off of ego and questionable ethics...

I started this marathon so that I could vent my feelings and gain some closure, while also opening up a frank discussion about how bad creative decisions can lead to bad lessons in children's media. This show has many of the same problems as a lot of current tv series do but all condensed down into one place and there are things to be learn from that.However after this series of reviews are over I doubt I’ll ever watch the show again. It’s honestly not worth the time. 

[darkpoisonouslove]

Tangled: The Series Review

I just watched Tangled: The Series and I finished all three seasons in four days. TL:DR It’s good. It’s really, really good and I definitely recommend. This might be the best thing that has come out of Disney in the last decade or more. Now head under the cut for a more detailed look at the show and my thoughts on it.

Plot

The plot is actually pretty simple and is a direct continuation of the storyline from Tangled: Before Ever After. Granted, there are a lot of elements that answer questions not only from that movie but also from the Tangled movie itself but they are introduced with a lot of time in between that lets you process and even get disengaged at a couple points.

Not gonna lie, the pacing can be pretty slow sometimes and you almost forget what the end goal of the journey is but that allows for a lot of character work to be done (which I will talk about in a sec). It doesn’t seem like it has enough plot for three seasons but they do end up filling it out. Sometimes it’s a little frustrating but it works about 98% of the time.

The finale of season 3 wasn’t overly hyped up by the set up so it didn’t feel anti-climatic like it so often happens when shows just oversell their final showdown in the build-up and then it’s just... eh. Here the emotion and suspense definitely felt proportional to the action you’re getting most of the time.

Characters

The characters were great! They build up on what we’ve seen from Rapunzel, Eugine and Cassandra in the two movies and gave a lot of screen time to side characters as well. Pascal gets two episodes that are centered on him and he gets his own arcs! He’s a chameleon! And you feel for him as an independent character and Rapunzel’s friend, not just her pet. There are a lot of moments where other citizens of Corona that aren’t part of the main focus of the show get attention as well to a point where the kingdom truly feels populated and the world comes alive off the screen. It’s truly moving to watch most of those stories develop.

A little complaint I have would be with Rapunzel’s parents. The focus on them wasn’t bad–not at all–it just wasn’t enough. To be fair, I was actually surprised that they even touched on them but when you truly examine how they did, it just isn’t enough. We get a look at the trauma of losing a child mostly through Rapunzel’s father who definitely got more screen time than her mother but, ultimately, neither of them feels well developed. You are just not sure who they are as people and it feels unsatisfying precisely because the show tried to focus on them. It just didn’t work out fully.

Other than that, most of the characters just work really well. They all get arcs and go through a lot of character development that makes you attached to them and you really get invested in the story which is great. I genuinely cried a couple of times because I was so touched.

Villains

The villains might just be my biggest issue with this series. They have some good minor villains, some cases that are engaging despite the frustration they breed and a couple of villains that are just frustrating in their execution. I’m going to break this down a little to express what I mean.

The main villain of the show is okay but is a little underwhelming. She’s not on screen until season 3 and the thing is that she feels a lot more menacing while she is just a presence that hangs over the main cast rather than she is when she is actually present. (Now this might spoil a little simply because there is no other way to word it) Her servants come off as more menacing than she does. The only time she’s truly pulling her weight is in the finale that I already mentioned was just the right amount of hyped up so that you don’t end up disappointed by it. I was pretty neutral about her and liked her more when she was just an incorporeal tale the heroes were hearing about.

There were several minor villains that worked great. They were the right amount of menacing and the show actually allowed itself to go into pretty dark territory with some of them. Most left lasting consequences for the main cast of heroes and were just all around perfect. The thing that I have an issue with is all (and those are several) the villains that switched over to the good side because it never felt executed correctly. It was either rushed or not well motivated. The writers of the show were making a point about how kindness can touch any kind of person but it still felt forced and not focused on enough. All of these cases would have benefited from a bit more time for the change to happen.

There are two villains in the series that are particularly frustrating when it comes to that because with them changing morality was like flipping a switch. With the first one both the good-to-bad and bad-to-good changes were just not motivated enough and were ramped up to eleven. It just leaves you thinking “You should go to sleep and then you’d calm down” but instead he ended up nearly getting dozens of people killed just because he couldn’t think to count to ten. And in the other case, the switch to the side of evil was definitely motivated in insecurities that were festering over time but the flip-flopping between good and evil was just really annoying and didn’t feel like it was grounded in particular thought or even emotion. It was just happening because the plot demanded it which was extremely jarring after two and a half seasons of a character driven show. And despite the clearly overtaking insecurities, watching this character make some of her choices is unbelievably frustrating because they just don’t make sense. No matter how hurt she is, she is just acting like she either is unable to think or like she doesn’t care about anyone but herself which clashes with the moments in which she is considering going back to the side of good. It is baffling and the worst point of the writing in any aspect.

Relationship Drama

Or rather the lack of anything I would describe as relationship drama aka unfounded jealousy and wild miscommunication that would take half a minute of intelligent conversation to be resolved. I was so pleasantly surprised by the way the relationship between Rapunzel and Eugine was handled. They are both supportive of each other and forgive mistakes. They talk about their feelings and resolve conflict whenever it arises. They trust each other even when it appears that the situation doesn’t warrant that. It is just a healthy relationship that is absolutely heart-warming and adorable to watch.

I am especially thrilled about the fact that they brought up Rapunzel rejecting Eugine’s marriage proposal in Before Ever After and touched on how it would feel to a girl who’s spent her whole life confined to one place to be thinking of settling down (not ideal since in a way it implied that marriage is a trap or at least boring and would cut off your opportunity for adventure but at least they talked about it). And I am especially pleased that they gave the characters time to explore their relationship and also explored the idea of them being in one without being engaged. Really, the message that you can love someone and still not be ready to get engaged is valuable and not something I would expect from a story about a Disney princess.

Some more highlights to talk about and some minor spoilers (don’t read if you don’t want to know more) – they explore how Rapunzel inspires Eugine to be better but it isn’t framed as her being his only salvation. It is framed exactly as what it is – Eugine seeing Rapunzel’s kindness and deciding that he wants to be better for himself and for her, too. I really appreciated that. They also have this episode in which Rapunzel and Eugine have to play parents and I liked the way it was handled. It truly felt like they have the connection between them to support a family and raise children but they are not in a rush and that goes back to the idea that they don’t need to get engaged and married if they don’t feel ready even though they might appear ready.

Lore

I loved the lore of the series. There is a lot more we learn about Corona as well as Rapunzel and the abilities of her hair. There is more information about the world and the surroundings of both the characters and Corona as a kingdom. We get a great expansion of the fantasy element of the world as well as the history and politics of it and I was immersed in the way it made the story and the characters richer. The show is doing its own thing and it is following whatever has already been established about the world and building on it in order to make both the story more compelling and to answer questions that have been raised in the movies without being answered. It’s doing quite well on that front.

Originality

A lot of times I would think that we are going down the route of a certain trope but then they’d put a fresh spin on it or at least a new angle that isn’t usually brought up and made the story that much more engaging. The show dealt with some serious topics that I never would have expected from a Disney princess property. They actually explore Rapunzel grappling with the responsibility that will fall on her shoulders once she’s queen of Corona and it was done in a very realistic and honest–even raw–way. Definitely not something you think you’ll find in the show when you sit down to watch it. There were certainly some cliches and moments that I wish they could have subverted the tropes they were using, but overall, I was often surprised by the way they handled the matter they were writing about.

[aspoonofsugar]

The Way Back Home

Lila’s shoes are always red, just like the Handler’s. It is a nice bit of foreshadowing and symbolism that links the two characters.

At the same time, this detail reminds me of The Wizard of Oz (the movie). I don’t think that this is a planned reference, but I think some aspects of the story fit with The Umbrella Academy and especially with season 2.

REGINALD AND THE HANDLER: THE WIZARD AND THE WITCH

Five is ironically both proud and ashamed of this talent. This duality aka his wish to be a hero and his pride as a killer are well conveyed by his relationship with both his father and the Handler.

As stated in this meta, the Handler and Reginald embody two different tendencies of Five, aka his pride as an assassin and his wish to be a hero. These two things are opposite, so one would think the same about the two people connected to them. In a sense, this is true. As a matter of fact the Handler and Reginald’s objectives are at odds. On one hand the Handler does not really care about the world. On the other hand Reginald wants to save it.

Because of this, it might seem that the Handler is the Big Bad, while Reginald is the Big Good. However, it is clear since season 1 that this is not the case. In particular, it is true that the Handler is a villain, just like the Wicked Witch of the West. Still, this does not make Reginald a hero, just like the Wizard of Oz is an ambiguous character in the original story.

In short, the Handler is a completely negative character, while Reginald is a more complex one. She serves as the main enemy this season, but he is the character the protagonists need to face to complete their journeys. This is why the Handler works as a foil to Reginald. In this way, she underlines his negative traits:

Both Reginald and the Handler pursue kids because of their extraordinary abilities and abuse them trying to mold them in who they want. Not only that, but in the end they both discard these children to take in “better ones”:

That said, the reason why the Handler and Reginald abandon their respective kids is the opposite.

On one hand the Handler dicards Lila because she turned out different from her.

The Handler is unable to love, while Lila is mainly motivated by love. She tries her best to be an assassin out of love for the Handler. She falls for Diego and refuses to kill him. Finally, she wants to kill Five to avenge her parents. For better or worse, Lila is always motivated by love and this is precisely why the Handler can’t keep using her forever:

On the other hand Reginald refuses his children because they share his own flaws:

Reginald: “Despite years of training and weeks of preparations, you allowed Number Six to die on this mission”. 

This is pretty clear in the scene above. There Reginald blames the kids for Ben’s death, but fails to recognize his own role in it. Reginald keeps telling his children to take responsibility. They should take responsibility for their powers, for their lives, for the world. However, he himself is a character, who always fails to recognize his own mistakes. Similarly, the things he criticizes his children for are usually traits he himself has.

Let’s consider this:

In a maybe simplicistic way, I am going to divide the siblings (minus Ben) in two groups:

a) Five, Luther and Diego want to be heroes, so they tend to be focused on saving the world.

b) Vanya, Allison and Klaus want to have fulfilling personal lives, so they tend to be focused on their relationships.

Some of Reginald’s children are focused on their mission of saving the world, while others simply want a fulfilling personal life.

Reginald fails at both things in ways that are incredibly similar to his kids.

On one hand Reginald, like his kids, is a failure hero. Just like Diego, he wants to save JFK, but fails. However, he is in a much better position to save the President than Diego and he is even warned by his children, who literally come from the future. Still, Reginald is too focused on antagonizing them and this leads to JFK’s death.

Similarly, he has trouble with a romantic partner just like Vanya, Allison and Klaus. Moreover, he eventually breaks up with Grace because he is not honest with her. This is exactly the same problem Vanya and Allison have.

Still, the two sisters in the end tell the truth to their partners and mendle their relationships.

Reginald instead refuses to open up to Grace and loses her.

In short, Reginald is a failure like his kids and he is even worse than them because he is less open to learn from his mistakes.

This is why in season 1, he ends up being involved with the apocalypse in all the ways the Umbrella Academy is.

Firstly, his mistreatement of Vanya and his cruelty to Harold Jenkins are among the factors that lead to the apocalypse. In short, Reginald is the heart of the dysfunctionality of the family and it is this dysfunctionality that leads to the end of the world.

Secondly, he deep down has the same delusion his sons have. He believes that to save the world it is necessary for the group to be together. However, him actually bringing the siblings together is what kickstarts the whole chain of events of season one. This is not to say that the siblings should be apart. In general, if they wanna grow as people they all need to solve their family issues. However, Reginald, like Five and Luther, is not being honest with himself. As far as we know, there is no logical reason as to why the Umbrella Academy should save the world. Still, there are plenty of emotional reasons as for why the characters want to bring the group back together.

In a sense, Reginald is probably the same. He too wants to bring the family back and for them to be heroes (so that he can succeed through them). However, instead of simply trying to reconnect with his kids, he chooses to kill himself.

This solution is a highly traumatic and manipulative one and it ties with Reginald not really wanting to put in the emotional work to make things better between him and his children. He gives them a trauma and leaves a bunch of secrets and of things unsolved.

In short, Reginald keeps reprimanding his children, but he fails to see how the flaws he points out are flaws he himself has. Differently, whenever one of the kids tries to call him out, he is ready to dismiss them.

In conclusion, Reginald, just like the Wizard of Oz, is looked up by the protagonists as the person that can fix everything. He can fix both them and their situation. The truth is that Reginald is just a normal person, who is even more flawed than his kids.

This is why he gives Five the same answer about the Apocalypse as the Handler:

It is not really because Reginald is not interested in saving the world, but because symbolically he can’t and his flaw is that he thinks he can. His kids should be more objective about what kind of person Reginald is and see him not as a hero or a villain, but as a human, who is greatly flawed to boot.

THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD TO BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE

To summarize, the season starts with a blue vortex taking the siblings to a far away world.

In order to go back home, they have to face a Wicked Witch:

And they seek help from an ambiguous Wizard, that is actually a person from another world:

However, this Wizard can’t really help them and the most he can do is to highlight that they already have within themselves the means to reach their objectives:

Reginald: “You only scratched the surface of what you were truly capable of. If only you had focused”.

Klaus: “Wait, wait, wait. What…What potential?”

Reginald: “Maybe your appetite is disproportionate to the size of your abilities. Start small. Seconds, not decades.” 

As you can see, there are some similarities (very loose ones) with the Wizard of Oz basic story-line.

What is interesting is especially the last part. Reginald manages to be useful to his kids in mostly two occasions. He manages to make Klaus realize he has more potential than what he thinks. And he manages to make Five think about the way he has been using his power.

Both times, the characters are able to unlock new powers in the finale because of their father’s words and they use these new abilities to save their siblings:

The siblings unlocking new abilities is important because their powers symbolize both their flaws and the way to overcome them. I have analyzed each sibling here and in many cases I have shown how their powers are symbolic.

Here, I will make a quick summary and highlight that the siblings’ powers represent both their problems and their solutions in ways that are often ironic.

1) Luther’s power is superstrength. However, this power contrasts with his sensitive personality:

In order to grow Luther must become a “stronger person”, not in the sense that he must be physically strong, but in the sense that he must be stronger psychologically.

Moreover, he has gorilla DNA, but, especially in season 1, he wants to act as a superhuman. The truth is that he is neither a monster nor a superhuman, but just a person and he should accept it.

2) Diego’s power is trajectory manipulation. Despite this, he is not really able to change his own trajectory to one different from the one Reginald chose for him:

3) Allison’s power is that she can turn lies and illusions into reality. Her voice can literally control others. Despite this, she often finds herself losing it and she does not realize that it could actually change the world for the better, if she learnt to use it correctly:

4) Klaus’s power is that he can communicate with the deads. Despite this, he is scared of death and does not accept it:

He is annoyed by his siblings not listening to him. but he himself does not listen to the voices of the ghosts, who would like to convey a message to the livings. He prefers to use drugs to keep them at bay.

He is literally a medium, someone who should create links between people, but he refuses this role. He isolates himself from the major conflicts and refuses to involve Ben in the family conversations.

5) Five’s power is that he can control space-time. Despite this, he has never enough time:

Five (every two seconds): “We have no time for this!”

This is a recurring motif in Five’s story. Not only does he always have no time to stop the apocalypse, but he is also the one, who has spent the least amount of time with his family. Moreover, he is the one, who has “lived” the least, despite being the oldest.

This is why him rewinding time at the end of season 2 is important:

Reginald:  “ So much can change in a matter of seconds. One can overthrow and empire. One can fall in love. An acorn doesn’t become an oak overnight. “

It is because is focus is switching on the idea that a bunch of seconds matter and that it is small moments that are important in one’s life.

6) Ben’s power is to be a portal for a monster. Ironically, he is actually the one, who more openly conveys the feelings of love for his siblings. He is the one, who comforts Vanya this season and he generally works as the heart of the family in everyone’s memory. It is possible more focus on him will make a more in depth analysis possible, but as for now this contrast between his personality and his power is the only thing we have.

7) Vanya’s power is that she can convert sounds into energy. It is also clear that her powers are strictly connected to her emotions. Despite this, she usually represses her feelings:

This repression is symbolically conveyed with her always ending up imprisoned somewhere:

The physical prisons she finds herself in are nothing more than representations of her constricted mental state. It also ties with the paradox that she always ends up victimized despite being the strongest among her siblings.

In short, the siblings’ arcs are conveyed also with them learning to control their powers better because their powers are nothing, but underdeveloped parts of their personalities. If they were to better understand themselves they would be able to perfectly control their abilities.

They are like the Lion, the Tin Man and the Scarecrow. They are all searching for things they already have. It is just that they fail to notice and search them outside themselves.

It is because of this ignorance that they lose against Lila.

LILA: A CHILD AWAY FROM HOME

Lila is just another version of The Umbrella Academy kids:

She is them and who they could have become. This is why her power lets her copy theirs.

Hopefully, Lila will be back and we will be given more insight on what her power means for her character. For example, @hamliet suggested that Lila does not really know who she is and this is why she copies others. This reading fits and will probably be explored more in future seasons.

However, it is clear that the choice of Lila’s power has mostly to do with the Hargreeves’ siblings.

She copies their powers because she is them. After all, she is one of the children born the 1st of October 1989 and was stolen and trained by an abusive parent. Moreover, she foils each sibling in a specific way and her fights (or lack of a fight) with them say how.

First of all, she copies Vanya’s power and uses them to create a barrier and to destroy the farm with an energy wave:

She is emotionally distancing herself from them (creating a barrier) and lashing out on them (energy wave). She is acting on her negative feelings toward them and attacking them. This is precisely what Vanya does at the end of season 1. If Vanya is the angry child they have to fight and to save in season 1, then Lila is the lost and angry child they have to confront in season 2. If Vanya has been hurt by her family, then Lila has been hurt by Five. Both characters have their reasons to be angry and even if these reasons do not justify their actions, they need to be aknowledged.

Then Lila confronts Luther and copies his superstrength. While they are fighting she mocks him in this way:

It is ironic that she says so because what makes she and Luther similar is that they both lack self-esteem. They both feel that they are not enough and want to prove to their parent their value. This is why Lila shows jealousy over her mother’s treatment of Five, for example:

Both Luther and Lila must overcome their parent’s shadow and start living for themselves, so that they can figure out who they are.

At this point, Lila faces Allison and she is able to take Allison’s breath away thanks to a “rumor”:

It is an occurrence of Allison losing her voice (a recurring motif in her arc). Why does Lila manage to steal it? It is because Lila is a liar, just like Allison herself:

Lila too builds her major relationships on lies. On one hand she is on the receiving hand of this by the Handler:

On the other hand she lies to Diego:

Lila and Allison are two people so scared that they won’t be loved if they are their true selves that they have the tendency to lie to both themselves and others.

Finally, Lila finds Five aka his major target and they start fighting each other. The truth is that Five dislikes Lila because she represents everything he dislikes about himself. Not only she is an assassin of the Commission like Five used to be, but he has unknowingly done to her what the Handler did to him:

Lila is the direct consequence of Five’s violence. Moreover, she is also the character that challenges Five’s pride the most directly:

Five has tied his identity with his talent as a killer, but Lila is clearly as skilled as him, if not more, and they are able to go toe to toe. Of course, the thing is mutual. Lila too is proud of her talent and wants to prove herself. This is one of the reasons she dislikes Five since the beginning.

Both Lila and Five are victims of a system that has manipulated them and tied who they are to killing. They should both overcome this imposed identity and let go of a pride that is negative for them.

At this point, Diego and the others come. This scene is symbolic of the whole family facing another version of itself. What is more, they attempt to do what they did not in season 1 with Vanya. Instead of trying to kill Lila, they try to reconcile with her and to have her join their family:

In particular, Diego is the one, who does so and it is because Lila represents a positive quality in his case. She represents Diego’s potential to “change trajectory” and they manage to influence each other positively. It is not by chance that when Diego arrives Lila is holding a knife aka his signature weapon. That knife is supposed to hurt Diego and his family, but he manages to change its trajectory:

This is because both Lila and Diego are two characters, who are clearly able to change and improve. Lila, like Diego in season 1, is obsessed with revenge, but is able to let go because of a loved one. In other words, Diego teaches Lila what he had learnt from Patch.

However, in the end Lila does not join the family (at least for now) and runs away. Why is that so thematically? Moreover, what about Klaus? Why did she not face him?

She does not face Klaus because she is unable to face her own grief, just like Klaus runs away from his own. Ironically, Klaus’s power is the one that could let Lila contact her dead parents and find closure. However, the two do not meet and Lila’s story in season 2 ends with more grief:

Sure, the Handler never cared about Lila, but she was still her adoptive mother and Lila will have to process her loss. It is the same for Klaus, who will have to process his unsolved feelings for Ben:

Both characters have to process loss and grief (let’s think that Klaus’s focus this season was mostly about accepting Dave’s death), but they struggle to do so. This is why they are similar and this is also why they do not face each other. It is because they are both running away. Klaus runs away from his power and from its potential for catharsis and reconciliation. Lila too runs away and it is actually the last thing she does on-screen. She runs away in time to avoid facing the pain and conflict she has in front of her.

In a sense, she is following in The Umbrella Academy’s footsteps. They ended season 1 time-travelling to escape the apocalypse, while Lila ends season 2 time-travelling to escape her ghosts and contradictions.

The question then is if she will manage to go back home. It won’t be easy because as Allison says in the last episode:

Allison: “I wish I could tell you it’s gonna be easier from here, but it’s not. It’s going to get worse before it gets better (...) before we fins the right way home.”

This is true for the Hargreeves as well. They might have managed to leave Dallas, but they are still far away from home:

Just like Dorothy initially loses her chance to leave Oz with the Wizard, they are still stranded. That said, they just have to remember that the means to find their place in the world is something they have within themselves. They just have to realize it.

[radramblog]

some time to perish

So I saw the new bond movie.

…

Eh?

(heavy spoilers, for those who care)

I seem to recall the reception to this film being much more negative than what it is now that I actually look at it. I had hesitation going into this thing, and to be fair, I think there was good reason to- Spectre was a mess, after all, and this film leans heavily on the plot of that story. I haven’t seen Quantum of Solace, but my understanding is that even with the actual lines of continuity drawn between the Craig movies, none of them were as much a clear sequel as No Time to Die was to Spectre.

So what is the good here, because there is a fair bit. I do like Craig’s performance a fair bit- in the 15 years since Casino Royale, he��s managed to portray both a younger and a much older Bond just as well as each other, and the idea of a deliberately aged Bond isn’t something I think we’ve really seen. Save for Never Say Never Again, but that doesn’t and shouldn’t count. Similarly, we have solid performances from all the returning cast- say what you will about Desmond Llewelyn, who obviously owned the Q role for a very long time, but Whishaw’s iteration is still charmingly dorky, and Ralph Fiennes’s M is still as solid as ever. I do kind of wish the movie stuck a little closer with him as a potential antagonistic character, as it did a bit in the first half or so- if nothing else, so we could get more In Bruges-esque vibes.

Some elements of the baseline story are also pretty good, with the new characters it brings with it. The idea of a new 007 replacing the retired Bond is something I’m shocked we haven’t seen before, and I do like the character they’ve got started for her. While I know they Will Not Do This, because Eon Productions are cowards, they absolutely should have Lashana Lynch as 007 going forward- it would not be hard to just…have them be 007 movies, and not James Bond movies.

(hell seeing as Skyfall made it “canon” that James Bond was his actual name, and considering the ending of the film, gonna be hard to justify continuing to use it?)

There was a fair bit I did like about this film in general. The action was pretty good, as expected from the franchise at this point, and the soundtrack worked pretty well. One of my biggest issues with Casino Royale, great as that movie is, is that it just refused to use the Bond Theme like, ever? And this movie does not make that same mistake. Along a similar line, I’m not really into Billie Eilish’s work overall (just not my thing), but the theme she performed for the title was solid enough. I dunno. Still salty about everything to do with Radiohead’s Spectre, so.

There is, unfortunately, a lot I also don’t particularly like about the film. For one, we have yet another example of a Bond movie completely wasting its villain- Rami Malek is an incredible actor, and I’m sure Safin’s character could have more to do given the chance, but they don’t and as a result he’s barely bloody in the thing. Also, it’s yet another instance of Bond Villain With Disfigurement- in this case, one of two, what with the main henchman (Primo, apparently) being a one-eyed man. Kinda.

Similarly, they did Felix Leiter so fucking dirty in this film. Leiter is a character with pedigree- not quite as much as the main characters, but he’s been in 10 of the 25 movies, and Jeffery Wright is a great actor doing a great job in the role. And then he gets wasted by the biggest shitheel side-villain the franchise may have ever seen, and it feels completely pointless. Like, Bond doesn’t need more motivation in this film? My guy has plenty, between the other characters at stake and the severity of the plot in general, you didn’t need to do that to the guy. I think this might be worse than the one where his wife gets murdered and he gets maimed by a shark.

Speaking of said shitheel, Logan Ash is probably my least favourite character in the film. Just a smiley asshole who we never get a motivation for and who’s neither interesting, funny, or intimidating. I genuinely think this character was just a waste of time. Along the same line, the character of Obruchev, despite being super plot-relevant all the way through, is just a little annoying- he reminds me of Boris from Goldeneye, but Boris had the decency to be in like, three scenes.

Honestly, the middle third of this movie is generally much too long and half of it feels like it could have been cut. The movie is long, like almost 3 hours, and it feels it. You know you’re in for a long one when the pre-title sequence has two parts, each of which is probably longer than most average Bond pre-title sequences in general. A lot of setpieces felt unnecessary, and certain threads go unanswered- Ana de Armas’s character is really cool once she gets going, but then she just disappears from the fucking film immediately after that part of the plot is resolved, despite clearly being set up for a larger role- not to mention things like the shootout in the forest feeling like kind of a waste of time. Again, it’s a section where Logan Ash gets a bit of focus (among other things happening to him), and this time could have been better spent developing Safin.

Speaking of Safin, his motivation is completely unclear and his plan makes little sense. I think he just wanted to, um, kill the world with nanobot disease? Which, side note, I think it’s very funny that they just killed all of Spectre, Blofeld included, in this film, like, wow you really didn’t like how that movie was received, huh. Kind of undermines the whole “super-secret and powerful organisation” thing. But Safin’s motivation for wiping them out…well, I’m not sure they ever give one? Like, they justify some of the other stuff, but the specific dialogue about his motivation just doesn’t explain shit whatsoever.

And the plan…sigh. Yet another film where DNA is the magic word that does whatever the fuck you want it to do, sure. Fine. It shouldn’t get my goat as much as it does, but it does, so. There was the bit where Q is analysing the data from a USB stick and it’s just full of a bunch of people’s DNA profiles and just. Erghghghg. It was A Mess, and I don’t like it, and I wish people would stop writing plots that basically treat genetics or molecular biol like they are arcane majykks that can do anything, everything, and all in between.

Overall? Probably, like, a 7/10 or something. No Time To Die is, ultimately, a send-off to Craig and his era of Bond movies, and it definitely does that. To my knowledge, this is the only Bond film they’ve ever made where they knew going in that This Is The Last Movie With This Guy- and certainly the only one to actually take advantage of that fact. I don’t know that I would have gone out of the way to watch it if I wasn’t kind of already invested, but it’s not as awful as it very much could have been, so we’ve got that going for it. It’s a pretty solid action flick, one that promises a future for the series that I almost guarantee we aren’t going to see, but one that also ends an era conclusively and satisfyingly.

As a closing note- I do think it’s funny that this is a movie where the only “Bond Girl” is the one from the last movie. For the best, really.