#neither here nor there now is it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
sometimes i realize that its not fair of me to hate myself so much that i just automatically assume that i deserve nothing good but then thats immediately ignored because ive just convinced myself that thats 100% true and then i realize i shouldnt be doing that and should stop but then i further convince myself of how worthless i am so then its a messed up cycle
#ive also throughly convinced myself that true happiness is only achieved by having a partner and i know thats toxic for myself but thats#neither here nor there now is it#ive just come to the conclusion that i dont care what happens to me if i jump headfirst into any toxic relationship like its ok#ill probs just pretend like im fine? like yeah thatll work no biggie. as long as i can keep up an ok front about it then thats chill#no im not ok i am so so sad#its ok im gonna reblog some shit rn 2 hide this
1 note
¡
View note
Text
Modern day YouTube au where Xie Lian is infamous on the internet for his catastrophic cooking channel.
#Xie Lian is an internet cryptid â˘#every segment ends with Hua Cheng trying the newest dish with a straight face and rating it 10/10#there are conspiracy theories that heâs not mortal because surly he should have died by now#YouTubers are making reaction videos where they try to remake the concoction following the same steps as Xie Lian and trying the food#Xie Lianâs cooking catastrophes are now featured on buzz feed unsolved because no one can recreate it to be toxic#the buzzfeed guys use Xie Lianâs cooking as a plausible murder weapon in some of their cases#the fans go feral in the comment section trying to figure out where the man went wrong while others insists itâs staged (itâs not)#theyâre also feral over Xie Lian being the prettiest but thatâs neither here nor there#mu qing has a fashion channel and feng xin does a martial arts/parkour channel and they both pretend they donât know Xie Lian#unsuccessfully because they live with Xie Lian and are often caught in the background of Xie Lianâs videos making horrified expressions#there are memes of them; they hate it#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#tgcf mu qing#tgcf feng xin#tgcf hua cheng#tgcf hualian#tgcf fengqing#mxtx hell#mxtx fandom#mxtx au#tgcf au#heaven official's blessing#heaven officials blessing#xie lian#hua cheng#mu qing#feng xin#fengqing#tgcf fanfic
554 notes
¡
View notes
Text
thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking âwhatre you doing?âŚbefore breakfast?â
#like in that scene in s2 when merlin was calling out arthurs name from under his bed#and he jumped up (thinking merlin was long gone) grabbed his sword and postured for a fight#or that one in idk which season when merlin was sneaking in his room and he woke up and grabbed his sword when merlin bumped a chair#and then merlin brought the canopy/curtains around his bed down on him#vs waking up to see melin splayed over him and staring for a beat#before flinching back#(he was definitely having some thoughts and/or dreams but thats neither here nor there)#idk thinking about arthur who trusts merlin implicitly and allows himself to lower his guard around him#his guard which he keeps up even in his sleep#GOD imagining them in an established relationship and merlin for once has /so/ much trouble waking arthur up#like before it was sorta bad but arthur was always in that half awake state#but now that theyre togetherâŚ.arthur wont even groan when merlin starts poking his ribs#arthur finally feeling so safe and protected that he allows his guard to drop in his sleep#and its the first time hes ever felt truly refreshed in the morning#so now merlin has infinitely more trouble waking him up but when hes up hes UP and ready to go#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#arthur bby they could never make me hate you#hes just a girl desperately craving love and protection#merlin isnt even offering it#hes shoving it into arthurs arms with insults flying off the tongue#theyre so disgusting#(affectionate)#<3#headcanon#head canon#hc
847 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I offer to the public: Black Sam!
So. Erm. :D
Peep the way I didn't feel like doing plaid
Taglist:
@achios
@angel-shaw (I just felt like you should be @ ed for this particular drawing-)
@ashertickler
@aurorialwolf
@dukecollinsbf
@infinitelovewiithoutfulfilmentt
@moronkyne
@pandoraroid
@plaqying
@porters-fangs
@professionallyyappinabtangst (I literally just showed you this)
@puffin-smoke
@skunkox
@starlogician
@sunsickcrab
@themeridian
@tunacatfishes
@www-dot-why-are-you-here-dot-com
@zimix-whispers
#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted fanart#I'm literally drawing the entire solaire clan rn#and I was supposed to save this for next week when I came back#but my friend wouldn't stop drooling and Nevy was idk what NEVY was doing yesterday#but#I just felt the need#to bless thy eyes with the possibility that is black Sam#picture it#SHAW PACK BIPOC ALL OF EM#that's what I'm here for#to spread that agenda#nods#I also drew Lovely and Alexis but you're genuinely getting that next week bc#I would say Vincent gay and then make lovely a she/they#STOP IT TBF MY VINCENT AND LOVELY ARENT EVEN TOGETHER SO TECHNICALLY IT STILL REMAINS TRUE#'why aren't they?' because vincetn is dating Porter and lovely is dating treasure pls keep up fireflies#redacted sam#<< forgot#lucid is Picasso#can't miss the hatred for my own art so I will say the more I look at this the more o hate it#but that's neither here nor there#now if you'll excuse me#I'm going to go into Alex's dms and get called pretty and perfect while being showered with kisses BYE BYE
397 notes
¡
View notes
Text
happy pride to this dude
#art#fanart#digital art#bg3 spoilers#bg3#bg3 the emperor#bg3 emperor#the emperor#the emperor bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate#baldurs gate fanart#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#bg3 art#on the first of june I got both the post-ketheric dream guardian scene AND the emperor reveal scene#Aelric finally saved Emp's cephalofailure ass and in doing so fired a couple tadpole abilities (he also FINALLY started using the-#tadpoles recently thanks to Umber assuring him that they were safe. Which In hindsight pretty sure would have made the emperor a lil jealou#but that's neither here nor there)#and in exploring the different options that the reveal cutscenes gave I let the emperor win for one (1) save file where ael took the astral#tadpole. By physically eating it. I now imagine that ael taking the astral tadpole will be where emps finds out that ael actually has been-#straight up eating them this entire time and he was NOT exaggerating when he told it that he'll eat the one as a compromise#empy gets a guy that is genuinely madly in love with him BUT he's also probably the most embarrassing guy for an illithid to fall for
290 notes
¡
View notes
Text
there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
so, inspired by the warm welcome the captain received with that rough doodle i posted, i made an updated design for Ki'ita as well (basic and with clothes)
i removed the piercings she had bc considering that they spend the majority of their time in arctic waters i think having metal directly in your skin is a bad idea, no matter how thick your blubber is; i also gave her typical white markings a green hue bc ... i liked how it looked and makes them stand out a little more
(i will not repeat what i wrote on the post about the captain but wanted to add a bit of more info about Ki'ita herself)
(i dont have ALL of their backstory done yet but) the captain and Ki'ita worked together in another organization, one in which the father of the captains child also worked at, before being betrayed and barely managing to escape, after which the both of them founded their pirate crew (possible name is the Solar Pirates bc of their solar powered boat stuff); since the captain had her daughter shortly afterwards Ki'ita managed most of the organisational matters at first, including the construction of their base on an abandoned island they had initially fled to
over the years they invented the solar powered ships that allowed them to gain control over a large part of an important trade route, leaving normal ships (mostly) alone but attacking those of hunters and similar, rescuing demons and mutants, even some humans from them, most of which also join the crew and it quickly lead to them becoming their own little community
Ki'ita does not like to spend alot of time among large groups of people, no matter how much she cares about them, and her originally being from norther lands gave her the idea to explore, and if viable, do underground missions in those norther areas to disrupt the infrastructure the hunters had built in recent years and overall keep the crew informed about things that may otherwise stay hidden; with each of their travels her time absent from the base increased but the patience of the captain is wearing thin so its likely a serious talk is underway on Ki'itas third solo mission she nearly died due to entanglement in abandoned nets made by hunters from an unknown material that she could not break, the massive scars on her tail especially come from that, only surviving bc the date they were supposed to return to the crew had passed and the captain grew to worried about her and made the entire crew rush into an emergency search, including the captain herself and her toddler, who were not suited for the cold climate just like the rest of crew, taking a huge risk that Ki'ita still feels ashamed of for causing; they stayed within the base for a whole year afterwards, not just to recover but also as a silent apology, taking time preparing herself to ensure theyd not get into a situation like that again
(before departing on their next mission the captain gifted her a sword with the blade made from the material of the net, a wooden handle, bc of the cold, and a blue wrap around it reminiscent of the captains striking blue teeth; a reminder of what had happened, a means to defend herself when their strength and teeth are not enough, and also a promise to always return again)
the oldest members of the crew know Ki'ita well and treat her like an old friend, among the newer members she has more of a .. cryptic status, the mysteriously absent vice-captain who only appears every few months or so out of thin air, throws a big party, sleeps for a few days and then vanishes again, the only hint to when they will return soon again being the captain getting noticably grumpier
(OC art, Ki'ita, she/they)
#ganondoodles#art#oc#original art#artists on tumblr#original character#character design#monster#man why do i keep writing such long texts#its not even that much i wrote here!!#sorry for the long post#idk if its good to write more about my ocs maybe i shouldnt? might make the post less rebloggable with so much text on it idk#right now im thinking about them actually having a kid together later on but i havent decided yet#their relationship is kinda out of the norm i guess#neither ever said they were in a relationship and neither does the crew know#and they are not overtly like a typical pair in love kinda thing#its hard to explain#they do love each other but its like super private while also not??#like they never say publicly that they love each other nor kiss#but when youd hear the news that the captains having another child and its from kiita youd be like yup that makes sense#(also her nickname is Kiki but only the captain knows that)#ANYWAY#sorry for this sudden disconnected oc spam#i love these lads#and im so happy i got their design down more coherently#i spent over and hour writing all this argh i wanted to get more sleep for once damn it#just now noticed i fked up kiitas arm there#man#dont draw when you are tired and need to sleep kids
433 notes
¡
View notes
Text
For the women enjoyers out there
#It me Iâm women enjoyers#little Bagina sketch for the tumblr bc Iâve been drawing art for me recently so I havenât posted#Iâm also working on Mike in a bikini from yesterday but that is neither here nor there#Iâm going to sleep now so night night!!#qsmp#fanart#qsmp fanart#art#qsmp shipping#oibagi#tinakitten#bagina#teaduo#bagi cattuzzo#qsmp tina#bagi#Iâm letting everyone know Iâm still thinking about âA Tina joga Minecraft.â From that video#insane move
289 notes
¡
View notes
Text
the level at which people are misusing the term "Never Again" in the far left absolutely infuriates me.
"Never Again" doesn't refer to the idea of no more genocides -- unfortunately people are evil and corrupt and seek scapegoats and destruction, there were genocides in the years following the Holocaust, there were genocides 10 years ago, there are multiple genocides going on as we speak
"Never Again" means we as Jews will pay attention to the warning signs, will not mindlessly allow antisemitism to fester and take over our communities, we will fight back. it means we will be proud. it means we will not let you hate us without a word of refusal.
"Never Again" is a warning for us, it is a reminder that what happened then can happen now -- is happening now. The Far Left doesn't get to use it against us. You don't get to turn our tragedies into hate-speech and antisemitic rhetoric.
Am Yisrael Chai
#abby speaks#that fucking NYT article made me rage so much#needed to get this out#if this somehow makes you pissed at me go ahead the unfollow button is right there#I have always said that Palestinians deserve a state and I have always believed that Israel has a right to exist#the lack of knowledge at these âprotestsâ shocks me - people don't know which river or which sea; they don't know about the hostages#free gaza from hamas#we are allowed to mourn the âprotestsâ started before we'd even had a chance to.#I will never ever forgive or forget the people that have made mourning still feel impossible#I am not about to sit here and say that the Israeli government is blameless#however if you didn't know that 1000s of Israeli have spent the past year protesting against Netenyahu's right wing government shut up#we need actual solutions; neither Israelis nor Palestinians are going anywhere#and you guys need to start calling out the antisemitism in your movement#I have my doubts on that actually happening and you'll never see me donate to a lot of these causes again#the goy left has lost my respect and my trust and now it only has my side-eye#sorry for the rant in the tags it's been an exhausting few months
359 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Steve and Robin lose their job at Family Video in the wake of that fateful Spring Break but not for the reasons one might think. It wasnât because they closed early on one of their busiest days to track down the townâs infamous âmurdererâ. It wasnât because they skipped their shifts for four days in a row. It wasnât even because they told Keith to his face that âthey would rather die in the earthquake and fall into hell than work another boring shiftâ.
No, they lost their jobs because of a grudge they kept. Both Steve and Robin refused to sell any tapes to anyone they thought may have been involved with Eddieâs manhunt, unfair peopleâs trial, or the continued harassment after he was proclaimed innocent. Justifiably, they had their reasons.
âOh no Andy, we canât let you rent this one. Youâve already lost enough brain cells being brainwashed by Jason. Maybe watch the news or something.â
âMrs. Wheeler? You absolutely may not rent anything. Maybe go call the police again since thatâs what you like doing.â
âOh ho ho, Officer Callahan! Funny to see you here, you know, not hunting down children. Get out of here. Come back when you have a warrant, asshole.â
So yes, they lost their jobs but not their dignity. Inevitably, when they went back to the Munsonâs new trailer or to Steveâs empty house, they had what really mattered. They could watch the movies off of tapes they stole, Steve could cuddle in Eddieâs scarred arms, and Robin could rant about how many films would be better with lesbians in them. As it should be.
(They lose a series of jobs after Family Video as well. Robin and Steve get fired from the diner, the library, and Melvaldâs all for refusing business to the asshats that made Eddieâs life hell. Because in their eyes, the whole town could suck it.)
#Robin deserves an award for convincing a bunch of people to keep hiring the both of them#she even convinces someone to hire Eddie only for him to go off on a customer for calling Steve a âhas beenâ#but thatâs neither here nor there#this is even funnier when you think of it from my âPhil Callahan is Steveâs brotherâ headcanon#âSteve just let me rent the movie bro. you have to get over this.â#ânope you hurt the dude thatâs now my crush so youâre disowned. brother status revokedâ#stranger things#steddie#ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley
410 notes
¡
View notes
Text
honestly no wonder Stephen struggles, like. he spends all day categorizing animals!! if it has hair and nurses, it's a mammal. if it has 6 legs it's an insect. So he's obediently counting masts, then the navy comes in like "well it's not technically a sloop but we call it a sloop. commodore isn't a rank except it kind of is but only temporarily. Gun ratings don't actually necessarily correspond to the number of guns. a hawser isn't HAWSER-laid it's CABLE-laid." Like man whaddahell. poor guy this ain't right
#aubreyad#of course we now consider animal classification to be more complex than it was in his day but that's neither here nor there#GIVE HIM A BREAK!!!#Stephen Maturin#Aubrey-maturin#Amanda sails 2
130 notes
¡
View notes
Text
hot vintage poll is making me realize my entire physical type in men basically comes down to intense eyes
#and a broad smile but that's neither here nor there#anthony perkins conrad veidt buster keaton? all dark intense eyes#käärijä and joey batey and their eyeliner (and their musical talent)#i could give further examples but i'd be telling on myself#^this post is about men but this user is extremely pan#now when it comes to women that's a whole other story. and yes intense eyes are part of it. leave me alone
141 notes
¡
View notes
Text
YES, the time has come for me to give a member of fearsome gang an offspring, because of course parenthood is something reckless egocentric criminals are good at!
+bonus:
#the ways of adoption in dwd fandom work beyond the average understanding of morals and laws of nature#god bless dwd fandom amen#bushroot#he is a proud father now#neither I nor s.h.u.s.h. asked his permishion to bring that baby-thing into this world but here we are#dwd#darkwing duck#the baby bat thing doesn't have a name yet btw#but I'm opened for suggestions#dt17#ducktales#oc#dwd spike#he's a proud big brother figure#and a pet#AND a nanny#I know the design might have a bit too much details but there is nothing I can really do about it - I like it the way it is for now so#my fanart stuff#my post đ¤
97 notes
¡
View notes
Text
youtube
I was unfortunately in the office when this posted, but check out CircusP's new version of "Breathe" with Piko !!!
I got to work on the 3D model for it <3
#valkris models#valkris does shit#utatane piko#vocaloid#VocaCircus#ngl the video is insane and this alt version is amazing#pls check it out#happy late halloween??#in other news i've had a crick in my neck that's lasted for 2 months now and it's gotten to the point where i want to just remove my head.#but that's neither here nor there.#Youtube
30 notes
¡
View notes
Text
been scrolling the gravity falls tag enough lately i feel i can say its CRAZY how much billford stuff includes mabel supporting this or encouraging them to get back together. she would kill that triangle immediately she would NOT set him up with her grunkle
#now. fiddleford is a different story and YET not a single post about thatâŚ.#mabel voice oh my gosh they were roommates#but for real youre crazy if you think mabels love for love would extend to whatever bill and ford had going on. no way.#this has been like no less than 5 posts. she would not fucking do that. she would absolutely say youre too good for him anyway! and make#ford uncomfortable with the implications that she thinks slash knows something. but thats neither here nor there#kora.txt
35 notes
¡
View notes
Note
oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT
oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.
SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint â and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)
so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place â did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!
so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas â and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.
the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats â an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!
now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.
here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline â which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading â you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out â but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.
but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.
so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.
anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.
#using the tags as a footnote system here but in order:#1. quentin MAY not be dead according to some theories but in the text he is a charred corpse#2. arianne is great and i love her but to be honest. my girl is kinda dumb. just 2 b real.#3. faegon is totally a blackfyre i think it's so obvious it may well be text at this point#it's almost r+l = j level man like it's kind of just reading comprehension at this point#4. relatedly there are some characters i think GRRM has endings picked out for and some i think he specifically does NOT#i think stannis melisandre jon and daenerys all will end up the same. jon and dany war crimes => murder/banishment arc is just classic GRRM#but i think jon's reasoning will be different and it'll be better-written.#im sorry but babygirl shireen IS getting flambeed. in response stannis will commit epic battle suicide killing all boltons i hope#brienne will live but in some tragic 'stay awhile horatio' capacity. likely she will try to die defending her liege and fail#faegon will die there's zero chance blackfyres win ever#now jaime/cersei I do NOT think he knows. my brothers in christ i don't think this motherfucker knows who the valonqar is!!#same with tyrion i think that the author in GRRM wants to do a nasty corruption arc + kill him off but the person in him loves him too much#sansa i have no goddamn idea what's going to happen. we just don't know enough about the northern conspiracy to tell#w/ arya i think he has... ideas. i don't think she's going to sail off to Explore i am almost certain that the show doing that was a cover#because the actual idea he gave them was unsavory or nonviable for some reason. bc like.#why would arya leave bran and jon and sansa? the family she's just spent her whole life fighting to come back to and avenge?#this is suspicious this does not feel like arya this does not feel right#bran will not be king or if he is it'll be in a VERY different way not the dumbfuck 'let's vote' bullshit#i personally think bran is going to go full corruption arc and become possessed by the 3 eyed raven. but that could be a pipe dream#the thing is he's way too OP in the show so the books have to nerf him and i think GRRM is still trying to work out#a way to actually do that.#i don't think he told them what happened with littlefinger or sansa. i think sansa's story is vaguely similar#(stark restoration through the female line etc)#but the queen in the north shit is way too contrived frankly. and selfishly i hope she gets something different#being a monarch in ASOIAF is not a happy ending. we know this from the moment we meet robert baratheon in AGOT#and we learn exactly what GRRM thinks of the people who 'win' these endless wars of succession#and they are not heroes#they are not celebrated#and they are neither safe nor happy
41 notes
¡
View notes