#neil josten i love u

[kevindavidday]

i'm convinced stuart doesn't believe in neil's facade of normalcy one bit. he's properly met neil all of thrice since mary ran: once to save his life. again at an exy match where neil immediately told him to take a hit out on proust and smiled like his father when he watched riko die. and the third time he meets neil, the kids asking for another hit out on a raven. completely out the blue. you truly take the man out of the city not the city out the man huh neil josten you will never not be a wesninski

[coffeekoe]

[ninyard]

fox tweets (the q&a) (inspired by @minyard-05)

[crunch-barr]

neil. neeyo …

[sadlad03]

first art of 2024 lol

[blue-jos10]

‘wow dr minyard how are you so calm and patient even with the insane ones?’

‘i’ve had practice.’

[two-longing-loves]

i love neil josten because right off the bat, the very first para of tfc he starts telling us HARDCORE backstory. he does not hold back.

[joejhang]

nathaniel wesninski vs neil abram josten

something that fascinates me abt the aftg books is the nathaniel vs neil dichotomy. so i'm gonna analyse and dissect it like a completely normal and fine person. spoilers ahead !!! continue at ur own risk

i feel like the fandom has the wrong idea abt nathaniel and neil; they aren't foils, they're mirrors. they're a lot more similar than i think the fandom likes to acknowledge. and i actually don't think neil himself has too much of a problem with that.

allow me to elaborate. neil isn't scared of nathaniel, and nor is he very sensitive about his father. he actually references his father sometimes as a defence mechanism ("you think i'm afraid of your knife? i'm the butcher's son.") his feelings towards his father are, i'd say, deep-rooted fear and resentment. this has to extend somewhat to nathaniel, given how deeply entwined nathaniel wesninski is with both the butcher (neil's childhood abuser, the one person he truly fears) and mary hatford (also one of neil's abusers imo but their relationship is a lot more complex), both of whom neil says he doesn't want to become like. but he also says it might be inevitable that he is a little bit like them anyway (he's right).

i think this is how the fandom differentiates between nathaniel and neil; nathaniel is cold-blooded, ruthless, analytical, a criminal mastermind. nathaniel wesninski sealed the deal for his own survival with ichirou moriyama. nathaniel wesninski endured the torturous conditions in the baltimore house. nathaniel wesninski watched the butcher of baltimore brutally murder a man in front of him at ten years old in castle evermore. nathaniel wesninski followed his mother on the run for eight years, twenty-two cities, sixteen countries and hundreds of fake identities. nathaniel wesninski watched as his mother left bodies and sacrifices in their wake for their own survival. nathaniel wesninski orders hits on the people who have hurt the people he loves. more than once, others in the series note that neil will always be nathaniel wesninski at heart (ichirou, jean) and neil doesn't correct them.

neil josten, on the other hand, is scrappy and messy and impulsive. neil josten has sharply honed survival instincts that he throws away at the first chance of getting to live a real life. neil josten chose to stay at palmetto state university with the full knowledge that he would get himself and many others killed. neil josten clocked r*ko's shit on live tv and at the fall banquet. neil josten trusted a five foot nothing goalkeeper with his life for a year. neil josten saw the opportunity to do what he loved, even if it would kill him, and he took it. neil josten isn't afraid to run his mouth, be it to a teammate who overstepped or a reporter broadcasting on national tv. neil josten doesn't think about the past or the future but lives in the moment, all consequences be damned. neil josten gets to know and starts to care about the foxes even though he knows he shouldn't.

in short; nathaniel wesninski is ice all the way through, unapologetically the butcher and the bird's son, and neil josten is all fire, a young man and a runaway who chose living over survival and friends (family) over safety.

that's the dichotomy, but i actually think people don't realise that they're two sides of the same coin. i don't mean like "neil is nathaniel is nathan" i mean like neil chose to be neil josten, with full knowledge and agency, but that doesn't change that he was nathaniel first. in the fandom's declawing of neil, they forget that he's still the butcher's son, and he isn't afraid to show his teeth.

"neil josten" doesn't exist on his own. he is a product of neil's time with the foxes. neil says himself, at the beginning of the series, neil josten wasn't a person, just another identity that could be discarded at the drop of a hat. it was the foxes that made "neil josten" a real person. they pulled out from that facade the parts of neil that "no disguise could change". neil's character arc from the scared nobody at the beginning of tfc to the brave and happy young man at the end of tkm wouldn't have ever happened without the foxes' influence on his life. that pivotal narration change from neil to nathaniel in tkm is in a sense, neil shielding the foxes and the person he was around them from the cruel reality of his past. the identity of "nathaniel wesninski" is real and undeniable, already bloodstained from his brutal childhood, and untouched by the foxes, and so can't really be ruined by his father's hand (sweet mourning lamb, there is nothing you can do, it has already been done). everything that happened in baltimore, from the legal name change to neil and andrew's conversation in the car ("can i really be neil again?" "i told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father.") is more of a decision to choose a new life than it is a new identity. "can i really be neil again?" is neil asking if he's really escaped his past and he can truly stay with the foxes and be who he was around them freely. and andrew's "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father" is more of an assurance to let neil's bloody past go in favour for a new and better life.

note: "let go" does not mean forget or disregard or lose. it just means to accept it but move on. this is important i promise.

after that, neil is able to continue freely in his life. wait no he's not. ichirou comes to find him. right.

the neil and ichirou conversation is one of the most interesting in the series. it says a lot more about neil's character than people seem to notice. neil actively "switches" into the persona of nathaniel wesninski specifically for that conversation. something about how every word has to be true and it has to be the biggest lie he's ever told. neil's switch to nathaniel is a little jarring and a little uncanny. the way he speaks is pure business, coldly rational and disconcertingly subservient to ichirou (disconcerting because of how adamantly neil refused to submit to r*ko and testuji and even his father's people). but it's interesting because it's still neil josten speaking. the narration doesn't change, and the way neil talks is still very much himself, just honed and polished to suit the man ichirou thinks he's speaking to. ichirou wasn't looking for neil abram josten, starting striker for the psu foxes, he was looking for nathaniel wesninski, the only son of the butcher of baltimore. neil knew this, and knew he had a part to play and he plays it so easily it actually fucking works. he isn't even afraid of ichirou. everything he says and does in that scene is careful and thought-out and logic-based, but there is no fear. all of neil's fear in the aftg series quite literally is caused by his father, and can always be traced back to him. since nathan is dead at this point, neil isn't fearful of ichirou, just cautious.

the narration change in tsc is also notable. jean thinks of neil as nathaniel wesninski until the foxes beat the ravens and r*ko dies. this is significant because the idea of "nathaniel wesninski" is also deeply entwined with the perfect court. if neil had signed with the ravens he would've been nathaniel wesninski (03) not neil josten. but once r*ko is dead and once tetsuji steps down, the perfect court no longer exists, and neither does the phantom partner jean was clinging to all these years. there is no nathaniel wesninski (03), no forever partner for jean, even though he has nathaniel's auburn hair and ice-blue eyes and cruel smile, he doesn't have the mark of the perfect court anymore and r*ko and tetsuji aren't around to reinforce that delusion so for jean, now there is only neil josten.

still, he also says later on that neil is a wesninski at heart. neil doesn't really take this personally, from what we can tell. killing a rapist isn't something particular to neil or nathaniel, he would do it whether he was neil abam josten or nathaniel wesninski. but the method, the subtlety, writing the numbers on a napkin, handing them to his mobster uncle, that is such a nathaniel-characteristic thing to do that jean comments on it. neil might have problems with wearing his father's face and his father's smile, but he never denies the truth that he is a little like his father (referencing his hot temper), and he isn't hurt or offended by jean's comment.

this post is getting way too fucking long, even for me, so i won't go into the "abram" of it all, but just know there's something to be said about that, too. i just think the fandom takes the whole "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore" thing a little too literally. nathaniel isn't gone for good, he will always be a part of neil, but neil's accepted that and moved on. he's living his best life, doing what he loves with people he loves, and even tho he does act a little bit like a wesninski at times, he's come to terms with who he is and who he chose to be: neil abram josten.

[shuutingstar]

can’t believe Kevin has chemistry with two separate couples who have their own books centred around them — and Kevin plays a big part in both of their lives — and this guy ends up with Thea. THEA.

[everyonesadoptivedad]

sketch dump from one of my favorite moments :> ✨

((done listening to this ))

[aftg-rot]

who is humanising who? 😤

[kevindavidday]

"first you steal andrew's car, then you steal his girl..." on god i know andreil confirmation hit matt boyd like a freight truck

[spilledcoffeeonthefloor]

Nore giving us this extra contents like we weren't already so fucking deep.

everyday i swim through this huge ocean of emotions i have towards aftg and after these ECs i think I'll just let myself drown and die.

[codename-adler]

adler ok i'm thinking about the aftg show again and like. because we'd have more time than with a movie, maybe the first part is expanded a little bit like instead of it starting with neil post-game at millport straight into wymack recruiting him maybe it starts with the game day instead like a montage of neil squatting in the empty house he mentions and heading to school, maybe he passes a paper stand or something that mentions kevin signing with the foxes, and then we see him blending into the background at millport, then exy practice, then stuff about the game etc etc because that opens the world a little bit, it introduces the audience to the sport and gives an idea of how it's played, and showing tiny little details about neil's life– him running, his living situation, etc– helps create curiosity around his character and solidify him as the protagonist whilst keeping it vague enough to make the audience want to know what's up with this guy, you know?

anyway here's my song pitch for this little opening bit

good LORD this is FIRE omg.

letting go of that very first shot being Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag is going to be really hard for me because it is the best opening line in the history of ever. i think it would translate well onto the screen as well.

HOWEVER. i *could* be persuaded by your pitch... take all of that beauty, with that banger, AND THEN: stop the music as Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag.

abrupt cut-off. complete silence. shaky camera shot. the night and the wind rushing in. the electric pitch noise of the outside stadium lights. stars above. the creaking of the metallic bleachers. smoke flowing and flowing and flowing. the burning orange cherry gets closer and closer to Neil's fingers. he never takes a drag. he's looking up at the sky, the lights, he's closing his eyes, he doesn't move. he breathes in. breathes out. that's all you can hear. in. out. again. the cigarette's cherry is too close to his fingers now. he takes a big inhale. he stubs out the butt on the bench. when the cigarette connects with the bench, the screen turns completely black with the sound of stadium lights shutting off deafeningly. we never hear Neil exhale.

[dykekarkat]

loved the new aftg extra stories however...not enough of my boy i miss my boy neil josten please come home

[funsizedshark]

it's about second chances, neil. second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you.

[tfc minimalist book cover redesign because my reread left me jn shambles]