#neil is the last one to come around but once it finally sets in that he doesnt have to run or hide anymore! yeah

[foxes-evermore]

renee learning how to tattoo so she can do the foxes who want them but dont like to be touched by strangers

[writing-for-life]

Dream and How He Experiences Love

(Or: When the Unreal is at War with the Real, and Finally Understanding Unconditional Love Tightens the Noose Around Your Neck That Has Been There All Along)

And as always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

Let me start this one with a few adjectives from the horse’s mouth (aka: Neil Gaiman said so 🤣) as to what Dream is actually like:

from: Vertigo Chase Card Set

So in short: This is probably the most accurate way to describe Dream in a nutshell, from the author himself, fully knowing that Murphy doesn’t lend himself well to be described in a nutshell.

And of course it’s absolutely fine if we want to head-canon him just being 5 out of those 50 (or none of them at all)—our stories are our own. At the end of the day, we went through a whole year of Tumblrfication (I might have made up that word), and getting back to the series will be tough. So is trying to align what the current prevalent perception of Dream is like in parts of the fandom, and what he is like in both comics and series (show and comics really aren’t that different where it matters, and I’ll die on that hill). I already worry about the fallout if I look at what happened with GO or OFMD, but that just as an aside.

Anyway, Dream in fandom spaces is often portrayed as either a pathetic wet cat who can’t get to grips with anything and constantly needs rescued in one way or another, or as a completely unfeeling arsehole incapable of relating to the human experience and being horrible all around. There are very few shades of grey in how some fans perceive him, when just the list of above adjectives shows us how complex he is as a character.

One thing that obviously comes up regularly are his relationships, be they romantic or platonic. So I just wanted to draw attention to the adjectives that relate strongly to the relational element in him (although they all apply in one way or another):

touchy, sentimental, cold, loving, [elusive], gentle, hurt, deep, intense, solitary, romantic, shy, intangible, lonely

Dream is the unreal. His way of loving relates very deeply to what stereotypical romantic love is: Romance and reality are a contradiction in terms—romanticism is dreaming because it is, at its very core, an idealised view. The intangible dream that comes back to bite us in the arse once reality sets in. And his flavour of love is the prototype of idealised and intangible (=romantic) and can never be anything else by his very nature.

And I’ve often thought that the way he experiences love is also a large part of why his existence is so difficult for him, and why he ultimately makes the choices he makes. Yes, he detests his function, but if he weren't so lonely (and weren't doomed to be so by his very purpose), he might find it easier to bear.

Let me look at, and draw parallels to, the 7 types of love as the Ancient Greeks perceived them [quick note about the image references: I would have loved to give more, but there is a limit. Also: Apologies I have no alt text for the comic panels at this point, I might add them at a later stage if I find the time]…

Eros

That’s both sexual and romantic love (to varying degrees), and it can be fleeting (like a dream) if not anchored in a less idealised view. So there’s your first cue—he totally experiences that kind of love.

The Ancient Greeks also thought it was a dangerous type of love, one that clouds our judgment and one that won’t last if not combined with some of the other types. And Dream himself knows this and probably relates (he detests his sibling Desire for “meddling”, after all). And yet, he is the intangible, the ungrounded, the unreal.

It’s all over every single one of his relationships we witness:

Killalla��“gifted” by Desire. We never get any cue as to what exactly they were up to, but it can be assumed desire, for whatever, played a large part in their relationship. Killalla makes no secret about it either (and is at the same time uncertain whether she truly loves him while being confused Dream might actually love her after what seems a very short time, at least in cosmic terms). Suffice it to say, he has a very idealised view of her and their relationship. Romantic idiocy at its best: He has literal stars in his eyes and is so grateful for Desire’s help he is basically kissing their boots in gratitude.

Alianora—again one of Desire’s gifts. And Dream tried, and I definitely think he was at least romantically (and physically) attracted to her (the art is very hard to interpret otherwise, neither is the context--she was gifted by Desire, after all). But this relationship is generally a tricky one because there is gratefulness and guilt n the mix, and that is sometimes a very unfortunate combination. He also couldn’t fully trust her because of his deep mistrust of D/desire. And lo and behold, of course the relationship soured when romantic and (potentially physical) attraction waned.

Nada—pursuing each other on and off, broadcasting sexy time all over the Dreaming because he's just so head over heels and literally bursting at the seams—need I say more? Yes, he does say to her that her body does not matter to him, which I 100% believe is true. He also says that he will love her as no mortal man can. But everything that transpires is still deeply informed by romantic attraction, because quite frankly: You don't feel love yet after you've barely met someone. It's again a deeply idealised view and that is something inherently romantic in tandem (in this case) with physical desire. Again, because D/desire was involved.

As to the particulars of Nada’s banishment to hell, and why Dream acted so out of character compared to his other failed relationships: You can find all of it here.

Calliope—read her speech at the Wake is all I’ll say. That is someone making romantic love so integral to their whole existence, I don’t even know where to start. He puts the world at her feet and makes sure she always comes first (quite literally) while they are still loved up…

Thessaly—he's the romantic idiot (affectionately) in the rain with his coat billowing in the wind, and referring to her “weighing him dispassionately and finding him wanting”. It was only a handful of months--you don't feel true, stable love at that point. Again, it has the idealised view of romance (and potentially sexual desire) written all over it. He would have given her the world, just like he would have given the world to Nada and Calliope. That is the trope of every freaking romance novel, and that is exactly how he perceives love.

Titania—who knows, she keeps her mouth shut.

Ludus

I think he has a hard time to be flirtatious and playful (at least, we don't really see it. We never really see him during the courting stage, and what went down with Thessaly was hardly "flirtatious". `Then again, bickering like they did in A Game of You is electrifying to some, so who knows. She also said at his wake he was cautious and nervous). And if he comes across as flirtatious (there is a charming on that list of adjectives after all), it’s just because he is so deliberate in everything he does that he might just push someone’s (right) buttons, so to speak. But that’s not the same as “no strings attached”-love, because I honestly believe he’s incapable of experiencing love that way. There is no “casual” with him. He always stays attached to the people/women he once loved, even if the relationship sours. He still loves each and every single one of them, he never stops. But he also doesn’t in a way that’s sustainable, and it’s an unsolvable conflict due to what/who he is.

Philia

Most closely translated as friendship and affection. Platonic love, if you will. It is also a love between equals. He has a hard time with it and only slowly learns what it means through his relationship with Hob. Needless to say: The Ancient Greeks valued platonic love as one of the highest forms of love. Hence, I’m personally reluctant to turn it into something else/slant it towards romance, because that’s exactly what this part of the story is about: His relationship to Hob is important and grows/lasts because it is not romantic in the comics.

Storge

Unconditional love for family, especially children. Based on complete acceptance and potentially sacrifice. Doesn’t need to be reciprocated. You feel it, no matter what, and you act accordingly. And for Dream and Orpheus, that didn’t work until it did. Or, let’s rather say: I don’t want to assume he didn’t feel it. But he pushed it down in his hurt and pride (as did his son in his grief). No further comment, because that one hurts.

Agape

Altruistic, universal, all-encompassing. And that’s so deeply at the core of his being, and so central to his whole conflict that I don’t even know where to start. From not wanting to kill the first vortex (or Rose, for that matter), to telling John Dee he’s hurting the dreamers, and that being his main concern while he himself was writhing on the floor in agony, to “humanity I love you”, to a million other things. He cares so deeply, there is such a deep concern for sentient beings in their entirety that it’s quite literally impossible to call it anything other than love. And it’s also what plays a large part in his demise.

Pragma

Oh, here we go. I honestly believe he likes the idea of committed and long-lasting. And he’s trying. So very hard. Calliope is the best example. Alianora was another one, because it’s not like they broke up swiftly (hard to tell how long they lasted, but since she had stayed in the Dreaming too long to go anywhere else, it wouldn’t surprise me if we’re actually talking a very, very long time. He called it “a goodly while”, and considering how old he is, I doubt that equals only months, or even just a few years, especially since he is fully aware how short his relationship to Thessaly was). And he wanted to stay true to his promise. But he is who/what he is: the unreal. And as the personification of that, love both feels real for him but will also forever stay intangible. It’s heartbreaking really. Again, it has written the contradiction between romantic love (the ideal) and pragmatic love (the thing that is grounded in reality) written all over it.

Philautia

And that’s the most heartbreaking one. He is incapable of self-love and full of self-loathing instead. The Ancient Greeks used to say that you can’t give what you don’t have. And it’s hard to feel compassion for the flaws we perceive in others if we don’t have that self-compassion for the exact same flaw in ourselves. And that one hurts in so many ways, from his not being able to forgive himself (which is mirrored in his relationship to Nada, who also couldn’t forgive herself—she didn’t need his forgiveness, she needed her own) to Orpheus being so much like him apart from one major difference: he’s mortal in spirit, and even immortality doesn’t change that. And Dream struggles with the part of his child that is so like him for a million reasons that would burst this meta at the seams, but again: it’s hard to love in others what we detest in ourselves, knowingly or unknowingly.

So in short: The particular flavours of love Dream feels (Eros, Agape, Philia growing slowly over time) and the ones he doesn’t (Ludus, Pragma, Philautia) are also at the very root of how the story goes.

And when he finally truly understands what Storge/unconditional love is--both in the way he reassesses his relationship to Nada but especially in how he finally submits to his love for Orpheus (with all that entails)--and when he allows it to become real, it’s what tightens the noose around his neck. But that noose has been around his neck loosely all along…

[baronessvonglitter]

Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 8 🍒

"Fooled Around and Fell in Love"

pre-outbreak! AU!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 1,807

Summary: a mini getaway brings you closer to Joel, and you reach a new level of your budding relationship.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 35), adult language, brief mention of someone unaliving herself (told in a local legendary tale), breast/nipple play, thigh riding, hand job, mutual confessions of love, reader's race not mentioned, takes place in summer 2003, no use of y/n

Author’s Note: I admit I don't know much about the terrain of Austin that well, but Mount Bonnell is real as is the Colorado River, so any mistakes are my own and purely for fictional purposes anyway. The legend that Joel tells the reader is very loosely based on a story my grandfather told me when I was a kid. I once went on a date with a guy who took me to a cemetery because he thought it was a romantic place, and that gave me the idea for Joel telling that downer story lol. If I missed any tags please let me know!

Series Masterlist

You're on cloud fucking nine.

No one has ever made you feel this way, as if you're brand-new, abundant with promise, with new chances. The little moments you spend with Joel are marked upon your young heart. And you do spend little moments together: he comes by the cafe for coffee before work or after, and the times you hang out with Sarah at the Miller house, you find that Joel hangs out as well, adding himself as an awkward part of the group, until Sarah asks him to leave. You have to hide your smile when he leaves, or risk your secret being blown.

One late Saturday afternoon he picks you up from work in his truck. It's a June night in the Texas hill country, and the sun sets its last golden rays of the day down upon the deep green hills on the horizon. The windows are down, radio blasting Neil Diamond tunes, especially since Joel has turned you on to his music. One of his hands is on the steering wheel and the other is in your lap. You trace the lines in the roughness of his palms, trace each broad finger, wonderingly, and when you look up you see the effect you have on him. Joel is turned on by any little way you touch him.

"Where are we going?" you ask, though honestly you could be driving to Hell itself and it would be just fine with you.

"Just wanna be alone with you for a little bit, sweetheart. Is that okay?" He looks over at you and you know you can't resist those deep brown eyes, the way the lines around them crinkle when he smiles.

"Fuck yeah," you grin, eliciting a wide smile from him.

He drives you up to Mount Bonnell, where you've never been, and your heart gallops to think that you're finally going to be alone with him. He drives you about halfway then insists on hiking the rest of the way.

"Joel, I've been on my feet all day," you pretend to pout at his suggestion.

"I'll carry you if I have to," he says with a wicked gleam in his eye. "But I do want you to see the view from up there." He offers his hand and you take it without delay.

Even though there's almost a twenty year age difference between you, you notice that Joel is quite agile, but you keep up with him, laughing at the freedom of the moment. His hand rests on your lower back when you slow down, and brings you close to his side, stopping for you to have a drink of water. "The view will be worth it, I promise," he says in that deep drawl you love so much.

And when you do reach the top, wiping the sweat from your forehead with your arm, the view takes your breath away. The evening sky is azure, with pink and violet cotton candy clouds stretching to infinity, and the earth touched with tinges of tangerine. Below, the Colorado River flows serenely. You and Joel stare in wonder: you watch the view and he watches you. His hand is in yours, and he pulls you close for an embrace. "It's gorgeous," you say at last.

"Not as gorgeous as you," he says with a twinkle in his eye. He leads you to sit upon a rock in the shade of an oak tree. "There's a legend about this place, that in the 1830s there was a young woman who leapt to her death to avoid being captured by men who'd killed her fiance."

You raise your head from where you'd been leaning on his shoulder. "That's actually pretty sad."

He nods solemnly. "Yeah.. I maybe should've saved that story for later."

You giggle and elbow him. "You really know how to ruin a romantic mood, old-timer."

"So you admit you're having a romantic time?" He brings his lips to your ear.

"I was," you retort.

"How can I remedy that?"

"Ten grand would do it, for my mental anguish," you continue the banter.

"Your check's in the mail," he says, his lips now on the soft part of your neck below your ear.

You let his kisses travel down your neck, giggling lightly at ticklish feel of his mustache on your sensitive skin. His hands wander across your chest, gently lifting your shirt to find the satin-smooth cups of your bra. Your breath hitches and your eyes flutter shut despite the stunning view before you. His fingers dip beneath your bra, his thumb grazing your nipples, softly teasing them to hardness. When you sigh he catches your lips in a kiss, his tongue tasting your mouth as your arms wrap around his neck. Your hand encourages his own under your shirt, and he squeezes your breast, eliciting a moan from your sweet lips.

A sudden rainstorm sweeps through, starting to soak both of you.

"Truck," you say breathlessly, both of you scrambling to your feet to get back to the vehicle. You shriek when he lifts you up, your legs wrapped around his waist as he brings you to the truck. Once inside, you're both wet, but you don't care, reaching for each other again in the dry safety of the truck that's become your only getaway for your secret romance.

In a blur of lust you take off your damp shirt, reveling in the carnivorous look on Joel's face. Next come off your shorts, and Joel's breathing becomes all but labored. Just in your panties and bra you kiss him, slowly, savoring his taste as his hands grip your waist. "I need you," you moan, and the excitement between you becomes electric. You climb onto his lap, writhing against him.

The rain beats down on the truck as the two of you discover each other, tasting the raindrops on each others' skin. Joel's shirt is off, his jeans pulled down. "There's something I want ya to do for me," he says.

A thousand thoughts come to mind. It could be anything. "And that would be..?"

"Take off your panties. I want to feel you, hot and wet on my thigh while I suck your nipples."

He has a way of saying things that make your insides light up, your cunt clenching as if he's already in there.

He holds you close, his large hands roaming your waist and your hips. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah," you whisper. Keeping your eyes on him you remove your panties, sliding the fabric down your legs, tossing them to the floor of the truck. His hungry gaze goes to the V where your thighs meet, and he guides you to his thigh, groaning when your hot wet cunt settles on his skin. You feel why he would like this, and begin to move a little to ease the ache he's built up in you. He lets you do as you wish, whatever makes you feel good.

"That's good," he whispers his seductive encouragement. "Just rub yourself on me, sweetheart. Fuck yourself on me."

Your eyes close and with your arms around his neck you move, seeking that friction on your clit that will make you see stars. And just as you get into a nice rhythm Joel reaches behind you and deftly removes your bra, gently moving the straps down your arms as you drop them to your sides. When he uncovers your breasts his breath hitches. He cups them in both his wide palms, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples as he did earlier, and bringing his lips to each puckered pebble, then lapping his tongue over one while softly tweaking the other, testing your limits, grazing your delicate flesh with his teeth. The faster you move the harder he pulls at you, his hands splayed on your back, keeping you pressed to him.

You palm him through his underwear, familiarizing his shape with your hands. His girth and length are intimidating, but in this moment you don't have to worry about taking him inside of you. Not yet. You stroke him as he removes himself from his briefs, loving the groans he makes, the way his cock seems to grow harder by the second, jerking under your touch. You use the beads of precum on his tip to lubricate him, caressing him with longer, stronger strokes.

The car windows fog up with the steam of your gasps and sighs. You grab at the back of his head, cradling it to you as he continues worshipping your breasts.

"Joel! Joel!" you whisper his name in a frenzy of euphoria, and then his thumb is on your clit, pressing gently, flicking, moving with you until you come, hips twitching as you convulse. At the same time you feel him come, his semen spilling over onto your hand, thick and warm. He smiles when he feels you've also left your own traces on his skin.

In those hazy moments after, you rest your head on his chest and he kisses your hair. The small space of the truck is scented with your musk and sweat. It's peaceful, and you feel closer to him than ever. Though you haven't technically had sex yet, you feel your innocence being chipped away at, and it's exciting. For the first time you're in control of what you do.

"You can't be real," he says, his voice breaking the silence that blankets you both. "You gotta be some fantasy that I dreamed up, or some kinda angel."

"I am. You died and this is heaven," you joke, kissing his neck.

You don't even hurry to get dressed. The rain has slowed to a drizzle but there's no rush for you to leave.

"You comin' over tonight? Thought maybe we could watch a movie.. you, me, and Sarah."

"Really? I'd like that." You love the sweetness he has after the intense passion you've just shared.

"I gotta drop you off at your car. Once I'm able to catch my breath, and once I've got feelin' back in my legs I'll drive you back."

You chuckle, kissing along his collarbone. "But what if I'm not done with you yet?" Oh, the scent of his skin drives you wild.

"Jesus, sweetheart," he chuckles low. "I think I love you.."

You look up quickly, your body buzzing with excitation, disbelief daring to poison the beautiful night you've just had. "You.. what?"

His eyes are soft as he cups your face, gently brushes your hair from your face. He studies every feature, committing everything to memory. "I. Love. You." He emphasizes each word with a kiss: on your forehead, nose, lips.

It's the first time you've ever heard it said to you, and the first time you've ever felt it right to say it back. "Joel Miller, I love you too.."

<- prev chapter

next chapter ->

divider by @saradika-graphics 👑

[ninyard]

I would love to just sit on a roof top and talk to you about anything and everything. Hear all of your opinions on everything.

Wait what the hell that’s so sweet I’m the mayor of yapsville when you get me started on something I have An Opinion on, so I promise you’d probably quickly regret it.

But picture us. Me and you on a roof. And I tell you the following, as the wind blows our hair and the sun starts to set:

- Andrew helps Renee dye her hair

- When they move in together, Andrew always finds his t-shirts or random belongings shoved under Neil’s pillow. Harmless stuff, but usually stuff that belongs to Andrew. Kept safe, untouchable below his pillow like the few belongings he had in the beginning.

- Dyslexic Kevin Day

- Allison helps Neil get his hair back into a good condition when he starts to grow it out post-TKM. She helps him do treatments and recommends the best products. She braids it when it gets long enough. She shows him how to properly tie it back, she teaches him how to properly look after the texture in his hair.

- Andrew has a folder in his camera roll for nobody else but himself of things that make him smile on the inside. Most of the time it’s stupid things, like a terrible advertisement stuck to a lamp post, or an ugly dog, or an awfully parked car. Silly things that make him laugh that he screenshots or snaps a picture of. There’s eventually hundreds of pictures in there. There’s photos of Neil, when he falls asleep on Andrew’s shoulder and Andrew’s too proud to tell him how cute he looked. Photos of Neil in his suit before a banquet, photos of him doing dishes or handing him dinner. There’s photos of Andrew and Renee after they’ve been sparring. There’s photos of things he’s seen in stores that remind him of Kevin, or Neil, or Renee. Sometimes Aaron. There’s even a few photos of Kevin in there, too. Nobody know this folder exists. Not even Neil, who doesn’t even know half of the photos of himself in there even exist. Because it’s just for Andrew. It’s just for him to collect the little joys in his life now that he can somewhat actually feel it.

- Kevin has to wear a brace on his hand/wrist every now and again, and he still sees a physiotherapist once every few months to check up on his hand.

- Matt goes to Andrew the first time he thinks about relapsing. He doesn’t even think about it. Neil is very confused when he comes back to the dorm to find Matt and Andrew playing video games together, but doesn’t question it.

- Dan tags along to night practice every now and again. Nobody acknowledges that she isn’t usually there, they just let her join them on the court and practice as usual. It makes Kevin really happy, actually, to see her trying to better her skills with them. Usually she just joins them when she can’t sleep and needs to get out of her head.

- On the OG foxes last night together before the first of them graduate, they all find themselves around a fire pit in one of their parents houses, or on property Allison rented out, and they tell each other stories and share some confessions in a mostly-funny, kind of emotional way. They cry and laugh and hug and shock each other with some of the things they say but it’s a really beautiful moment before they’re finally split up for the first time

- Dyslexic Kevin Day (again)

[neilljcsten]

it’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue and it fills each silence with a tense, bloated energy. the trial, aaron’s trial, is coming up. aaron will have to take the stand and detail how he killed drake. smashed his head in with a racquet. andrew will have to take the stand and detail why drake was there at all.

neil knows he’s oblivious but he isn’t stupid. he sees the tense set of aaron’s shoulders and the vacant gaze creeping into andrew’s hazel eyes. the twins haven’t been in the same room for a month, other than their visits to bee.

he schemes.

he starts with allison. she’ll know best, he figures, what the media will do with something like this. as it turns out, to nobody’s surprise, columbia has shit privacy rules. (it’s not the world that’s cruel - it’s the people in it) reporters won’t be in the room but there will be no publication ban. neil knows the story will spread like wildfire. he asks allison what would top it.

he schemes.

he calls stuart. lawyers cost money and the mafia isn’t lacking in that department. he also needs a favour. he did, after all, omit the hatford’s from his FBI testimony.

he schemes.

it’s a week before the trial and he slips out of the dorm early one morning. “i’ll be back later” he tells andrew, giving the man a quick kiss. “there’s ice cream in the freezer and the dorm is yours for the day; i made sure they’ll leave you alone”. andrew nods in response before sliding back into his vacant state of being.

allison picks him up in her convertible. their mission takes a day, nothing more, but neil knows he needs her there - it wasn’t a job for andrew and he shudders to think about how it would turn out if kevin was involved.

he waits.

aaron and andrew were both told to stay off their phones and avoid all media the days leading up to the trial. for once, they listen. the day of the trial comes and neil watches the weight fall off of them as the not guilty verdict comes down within an hour of jury deliberations. neil sends stuart a quick thank you before turning off his phone; the constant buzzing was getting old.

later, he sits with andrew in the mas. andrew’s checking his phone for the first time in days and neil knows the moment he finds neil’s omission. not a lie - never a lie, not to andrew - but something he didn’t share.

“abram.” andrew grits out. neil hums back at him, a small smile on his face. “drew”

“don’t drew me - what the fuck is this?” neil turns in his seat to look at him. blue meets hazel, unwavering and sure.

“allison said we needed a bigger story to keep the trial from making headlines. i gave them one. nobody will give a shit about aaron now - not that i understand why they did in the first place.” neil dances around the truth that they both know - it wasn’t aaron neil was protecting.

“300%”

later, back at the dorms, neil finds a copy of the latest issue of ‘exy magazine’ on the counter. he lets a rare smile slip at the cover; his last secret is out.

“Neil Josten: Scars & All - The Striker’s First Interview and Photoshoot Since Finals”

[piningpercussionist]

Sort of belated, but it's still applicable somewhere I'm sure- Happy Halloween!

My optimistic Halloween deadline for chapter one of the werewolf fic has clearly not gone to plan, but it will be here soon! Like, before the week is out, if not tomorrow. And with a similar time frame, you all may receive photos of my Halloween costume this year! (It was Kim, if I hadn't stated that somewhere already; I just wasn't able to dye my hair for day, so I'll be taking better photos once that's done.)

The cover for chapter one is nearly done, and I was considering finishing and posting it before midnight came and went, but alas... instead, for the curious who just can't wait, here's a teaser!

And a bit of writing for you, although I want to note really quickly that I'm taking this but from the first draft on my phone and NOT the final cut. So there may be some tweaks in this passage when you see it in the coming days 👍

     After a moment of whirrs and chaotic sound, the signal came clear through, filling the room with the station's jaunty little opener as the host returned from break.

     "Welcome back, Toronto! Let's go ahead and recap today's forcast for those just tuning in: it's a brisk March morning out there today, be sure to wear a coat if you're headed out- and if you plan to be out late, be prepared for some snow later this afternoon or early tonight. Traffic reports seem to-" Kim listens as he drones on, mostly just keeping an ear out for anything along her route. Hearing nothing of the sort, she finishes her coffee and sets down the mug, stretching her arms up and back over her head. She fights a yawn and a wince as she does so, nearly biting her tongue at the pain she sparks stretching a bit too far. The ache spreads down her shoulders and back as she lets out a soft sigh, trying not to feel irritated with herself.

     Eventually, she gets up to set her mug in the sink, intending to wash it before heading out- but as her hand reaches for the faucet, the broadcast catches her attention once more, causing her to stop and listen.

     "In other news, there was apparently a rather gruesome display found in the Albion Hills Conservation Park early this morning. The bodies of several animals, primarily deer from what has been found so far, have been cropping up over the past few months in what seems to be the spree of some large, wild canine, experts warn. Attempts were made to track the creature, but so far all trails have turned cold. The park is still open, but caution has been advised if you're planning on camping in the area. Joining us now is-"

     The man's voice continues to drone on as Kim quietly sets the mug down in the sink, gripping the edge of the counter while Neil lets out a short whistle. "Wow. They're finally addressing it on the news, huh? Wonder how bad it must've been."

     Scott's puzzled voice rings out, a touch of fear in his tone. "Uh, addressing what? What's happening?"

     "You haven't heard? Last year or so, there's been this really strange string of animal deaths all around Toronto- people think they're connected."

     "Woah, really?"

     "Yeah. Some even say it's a werewolf." Neil leaned forward a little as he put emphasis on the term, lifting his hands up to mime ears atop his head.

      "How come I hadn't heard about this?"

     "Kind of a grim subject, man. Who'd want to talk about it? Besides, you have heard about it before. It's kind of a hot topic these days." Stephen's chair scrapes against the floor as he pushes back from the table; Kim scoots a little to the side and tries to school her expression, knowing he'll be heading towards her with his dishes.

     "What?! When? I feel like I'd remember that!"

     Thinking fast, Kim tries to put on her best shit starting grin, turning to address Scott. "Scott, you wouldn't remember it if the thing had leapt out of the bushes and bit you. The empty-headedness with which you float through life is fascinating, really."

     Stephen and Neil chuckle a little at that, adding to the intensity of Scott's frown. Crossing his arms, he scoffs, leaning back in his chair as he mutters to himself. "I'd totally remember if it'd done that- 'cause I would've kicked its butt, whatever it is..."

     Stephen shakes his head as he sets his things in the sink, reaching to turn the faucet on. He rolls up his sleeves as he lets the water run for a moment, looking at Kim out of the corner of his eye. "Hey, don't you have work today?"

     She nods once in response, thankful for the out, even though she didn't need it. She pushes herself away from the counter and makes her way out of the kitchen, throwing up a hand to wave on her way passed. "Try not to do anything fatally stupid- we've got band practice tomorrow."

     As she's slipping the strap of her bag over her head, she's pretty sure she hears Scott start to say something- but she doesn't have the time for it, genuinely; she's out the door and into the frosty air, taking in a deep and greedy breath to shock the senses. She lets herself have just a second to herself- then, she's off, brisk gait sure to have her sufficiently warmed against the chill by the time she reaches the video store.

So, yeah! Just a little sliver for ya. But again, barring anymore interruptions to my workflow, chapter one should be posted within a week! (And if it takes any longer than that, it'll be nearly double the length, probably, because it'll mean I've finished off the last chunk of what I'd originally plotted as chapter one.) Anyhow, if you're all the way down here reading this still, I feel like you might deserve another Treat for this Hallows Eve... hm....

Well, it's not open open yet, but if you want, you can check out the blog I've got reserved for all this! It will be an ask blog... I'm still workshopping the rules, but please: BEFORE YOU FOLLOW IT, READ THIS ⬇️⬇️⬇️

!! Blog Content Warning !!

This blog may contain the use of slurs, (drawn) gore or descriptions of gore, sexual content, animal death, and even possible character death. All content will have the appropriate tags and community labels, to the best of my ability.

Read that? Well, don't say I didn't warn you. You can check out a sort of Meh playlist and even prod around for some old pages I'll likely be removing or altering on proper launch (if you're on desktop, anyway,) at @lycanthropicdrunkenloner

Hope everyone had a great night! I'm gonna go eat and get Sloshed now lol 🤘

[ash5monster01]

Goes On Chapter Fifteen

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x OC!FemReader

Warnings: 18+, depression, mentions of suicide, heavy topics, eventual smut, slow burn romance, fluff, gender themes/stereotypes.

Summary: Against his best efforts Charlie has to start at a new preparatory school after the tragic events that took place at Welton. The very events that led to the loss of his best friend and getting expelled in the first place. He has no plans to make friends let alone get close to anyone ever again. That is until he meets Evelyn and her interesting group of friends. No matter how hard he tries to push them away he finds it to be impossible. So he caves and in the end learns that life can still be enjoyable even if it feels like everyone is against you.

word count: 2.6k

Fourteen ←→ Epilogue

Masterlist

Welton Academy, VT

4/16/60

It had been four months to the day since Charlie found out about Neil. Not so long ago he had experienced the best four months of his life. To think he had just gone through four months of his worst was mind numbing in a way he couldn’t comprehend. So he let this thought consume him as he took a bus to the ferry and then the ferry to another bus just to be met with the large metal gate he thought he would never have to see again.

He didn’t have to call and ask if they’d be here. He knew they would. Easter wasn’t a big enough Holiday for the parents to pull them out of school. The most they’d have to attend was Easter service tomorrow and classes would be back on schedule on Tuesday. That meant Charlie had all of this weekend to come to terms with what his life was becoming. Come to terms to who he was without Welton or Neil.

Considering he was expelled he didn’t know the proper etiquette for visiting the school. He didn’t care to know anyway so he snuck in, something he had done hundreds of times before and made his way through the empty halls and passing all the familiar rooms. It was weird being back here when he thought it wouldn’t be. That he would always be a part of this school somehow or another. It was still weird to think he wasn’t. This thought scared him as he knocked softly on the safest door.

“Charlie!” Meeks surprised voice squeaked as his eyes widened at the sight of him. Charlie quickly lifted his finger to shush him, pushing him inside as he stepped into the room and out of sight of any teachers eyes. It’s possible he was allowed to visit but based on the terms he left, he didn’t want to bother to find out he wasn’t.

“Hey Meeks” he grinned softly, the happiness of seeing his friend outweighing the sadness burrowed deep inside. When Meeks finally realized this isn’t a hallucination he hugs him quickly.

“Pittsie” Charlie nods at the boy who gapes at him from his desk, standing to hug him as well. Charlie already feels the heavy tears burning against the back of his eyes as he holds his two friends.

“What’re you doing here?” Pitts asks once they pull away and Charlie offers his familiar smirk, one that had become so foreign over the last few months, as he sets his suitcase down.

“Ridge gives their students the entire week off and since my parents figure I’m staying on campus to keep up with my studies, I figured I’d come here. See my best pals” Charlie explains, leaving out the very grave detail he did intend on staying at Ridge, all up until the girl he loved looked at him with eyes as cold as the dead of winter.

“We gotta get Todd and Knox” Meeks starts for the door and Charlie doesn’t stop him, laughing lightly as his red-headed friend takes off on his mission. Charlie hates how familiar and foreign everything around him feels when not so long ago his presence here wouldn’t have been such a big deal. It doesn’t take long for Meeks to return, the two boys barreling behind him just to see if Meeks speaks the truth.

“Holy shit” is all Knox can say when he finally spots him, wrapping his arms around him in a large hug. Charlie laughs at the excitement, hugging him back just as enthusiastically.

“Knoxie, how’s Chris?” Charlie smirks and Knox just smiles, softly shaking his head. He snuck out any chance he could to meet the beautiful blonde girl and risked being killed by Chet Danbury everyday, but man was it worth it.

“Still a dream” he grins, cheeks flushed because somehow he was able to keep his dream girl through all of this. Charlie just smiles back, nodding his head because he knows a thing or two about falling head over heels for a girl now. He’s brought back to reality when he spots Todd who stays standing in the doorway, eyeing him as if he looked away Charlie would somehow disappear.

“Todd, heard you started a revolution” Charlie grins that familiar smile at him and all the times Todd imagined seeing his face again it was nothing like this. Yet to see it in person again felt like being wrapped in a warm hug.

“Ah I learned from the best” Todd says after a beat, waving a hand as if to brush off the sentiment but it doesn’t make Charlie any less proud as he pulls the boy into a tight hug and ruffles the blonde hair on his head.

“Who would’ve thought quiet old Todd would grown a pair” Charlie says when he lets him go, the teasing tone not matching the adoration in his eyes. Not so long ago he thought of Todd as Neil’s quiet roommate and now he was considerably his best friend.

“It was a one time thing, one more stunt and I’m out like you Nuwanda” Todd teases back and Charlie just laughs, moving and flopping onto Meeks bed.

“That’s not a bad thing” Charlie jokes, hands motioning upward as he relaxed against the cushions. It was still a dorm bed but it was better than two buses and a ferry.

“How’s Ridge? How’s the girls?” Knox asks, eyebrows wiggling with suggestion as the boys all begin to settle around the room and catch up.

“Ridge sucks. I’m on track because I didn’t sign up for any sports in time and they made me take it anyway. As for the curriculum it’s the same old boring shit and Dr. J Evans Pritchard” Charlie sneers, thinking of that God forsaken school they stuck him in. Before Keating he might’ve actually liked to go there and experience co-ed but now it was cruel punishment made to diminish his spirit even more.

“And the girls?” Pitts inquires, not missing how Charlie skipped over the little fact in his spiel.

“Fine I guess, my girlfriend is pretty pissed at me right now though” and gasps quickly come from each of the guys around the room as Charlie drops this bomb.

“It’s Evelyn, isn’t it?” Meeks asks, knowing she was the female lead in every story Charlie told when he called. It would be the only thing to make any sense.

“Yes it’s Evelyn” Charlie confirms, rolling his eyes even though just mentioning her name makes his heart soar. Leaving on the bad terms that they did hurt him, but she was still who he wanted to comfort him.

“Got a picture hot shot?” Todd asks and Charlie chuckles, leaning to his side in order to reach the wallet in his back pocket. When he finally frees it, he flips it open to pull out the photos they just recently got back from the Valentine’s dance. How he convinced her to take it he wasn’t sure but he was sure glad they did.

“Wow” Pitts breathes as the picture slips between his fingers and for the first time since Neil’s death a real smirk graces Charlie’s lips. Not a fake one or a forced one, a real one. Pride swells in his chest and it’s the first time he’s had this feeling in a very long time. As the boys pass around the picture of his girl Charlie can’t help but smile at each one.

“Only Charles could bag a chick like that” Meeks says while shaking his head and passing back the picture of the gorgeous girl in Charlie’s arms.

“She’s not a chick” Charlie corrects, slipping the picture safely back into his wallet. “She’s amazing though. Not shy at all and always calls me on my shit. I tried to stay away, I really did. I just couldn’t help myself”

“That doesn’t surprise me” Knox jokes and Charlie glares half heartedly as he looks back at each of the boys.

“How’d you get her to date you?” Meeks asks, curious as to how Charlie actually found a decent girl and not a ditz like the ones he brought to the cave that one time.

“Not sure to be honest, one night I knew she was alone and snuck into her room. Just couldn’t stop myself, she’s the best” Charlie says, mind still stuck on how sweet her kisses are and the taste of her lips.

“Well when do we get to meet her?” Knox eagerly asks, having been the only one of the group to ever actually share words with the girl even if they were brief.

“I don’t know, she’s pretty upset with me right now” Charlie sighs, mind still reeling and trying to wrap around what happened not so long ago. The catalyst to even bring him here.

“What’d you do?” Pitts asks with a snort, picturing the old Charlie doing some idiotic stunt to get him in trouble. If only that was the case.

“You didn’t tell her” Todd suddenly mutters and Charlie’s eyes lock onto his own, sharing a look foreign to the others around him.

“Yeah and she found out. I don’t blame her honestly. She probably thinks I was using her and she knows nothing about me which in a way she doesn’t. Neil was apart of every aspect of my life and if it included him, I didn’t bring it up” the boys realize what they mean in an instant, realization flooding across each of their faces.

“But why, Neil was your best friend?” Meeks says, head shaking and trying to understand the boy in front of them. To be honest none of them have gone as long as they have without seeing the boy before. Maybe things weren’t entirely as they seemed.

“He is my best friend. That’s why I can’t. How do I not only admit to myself but everyone around me that he’s actually gone. I’m all alone now. I’m stuck in that school with no one who understands me and I hate everything about it. I’m no longer Nuwanda, I’m barely even Charlie” Charlie gasps, eyebrows furrowed and heart straining in his chest. The boys watch him, words getting desperate at they come out and Charlie begins to feel that familiar tightening in his chest, the panic rising up his spine.

“You’re not alone Charlie” Todd says with the shake of his head and all the boys eye the two, waiting to see what either one of them would say.

“I am Todd, you guys got to stay here with each other but I was left to grieve on my own” Charlie says but Todd stays firm on his sentence, staring Charlie down with a confidence he never expected to posses.

“No you’re not. You have Evelyn and if I’m not mistaken a few other people at that school. You may not have know them long but four months is enough time to care for a person. I should know” Todd says, words sharp and strong and Charlie freezes as these words sink in. Up until Neil died they had only known Todd four months and he was just as important. So why couldn’t the kids at Ridge be the same.

“Shit Todd, I didn’t mean it like that” Charlie starts but Todd is shaking his head, stopping him short and Charlie waits for him to speak again.

“Just don’t count them out. If you push away every person in your life only because they didn’t know you before Neil then you’re bound to be lonely forever” Todd says and Charlie nods, wrapping his head around the fact that the very people at Ridge he had come to love were more important than he thought.

Not only was Evelyn important to him but the rest were too. Nate was his roommate and the only person he had let close since Neil. Marty was kind, looking out for him any chance he got. Laurie was funny and defended him when necessary. Violet was honest and would tell him the truth when he needed it most. Evelyn was understanding, and passionate about everything around her. They were beautiful people and he had spent so long pitying himself he never got a chance to fully enjoy it. He could see Neil now, almost cursing him for not allowing people close. He was Charlie Dalton for God sakes, a legend who had spent so long pretending he wasn’t.

“Neil didn’t die to kill your spirit, he died because he lost his own. So we should spend everyday making sure we enjoy it. Not only enough for ourselves but him too” Knox says and Charlie tries his best not to cry all over again. He had never looked at it like this, never allowed himself to think about the fact he was wasting so much time waiting for something that would never happen. Neil to come back.

“God I did fuck up” Charlie groans, hands reaching up to tug at his hair and the other boys laugh even though there is a layer of sadness now filling the room that they all figured would never leave.

“No you didn’t, you’re Charlie Dalton after all. You’ll find a way to make it up to her” Knox encourages, hand reaching to pat the boys back and Charlie chuckles, mind already trying to come up with ideas on how to make it up to all of them.

“Maybe but until then I think I just need to spend some time here. Finally let myself heal” he says and the boys nod, understanding exactly what he means. At first it was hard being at Welton without either of the boys, rules becoming more strict and classes becoming harder. Yet after a while it became healing. Classrooms holding memories like a time capsule that comforted them in a way nothing else could.

It was little things. Like learning Shakespeare in class which would remind them of how amazing Neil was in the play. When it was meatloaf for dinner they could eat it remembering it was his favorite. When they scored goals in soccer they could still hear Neil cheering. He was everywhere within the school, a permanent reminder in its walls and even if the memories sometimes hurt, at least somewhere on this earth still held the spirit of him. Welton and this town would forever hold the spirit of him and that was better than any comfort any of the boys had known.

“That’s a good idea, we can hide you in our rooms and go and visit Neil” Pitts voices his excitement and the boy freeze, waiting to see Charlie’s reaction. It had become common for them to visit Neil’s grave but Charlie hadn’t since the funeral. Charlie didn’t even know it was something they did.

“I would love that, even more if no one mentions my presence to Cameron” Charlie responds with his cool and confident tone that for the first time felt right to still have. The boys just laugh, nodding their heads in agreement.

“We can manage that” Meeks says and Charlie grins, sitting up and finally feeling more of him falling back into place. Maybe Nate was right after all, just being here was already healing him. He wished he could stay forever. Thing was, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, life goes on. So he needed to spend as much time as he could, remembering not to forget that.

“Good now one of you needs to sneak into the finks room and recover my stash”

Taglist: @octaviasdread @eden-punk @linmichea1 @pursuedbyamemoryy @mynameisjxlia

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

[dr-thumbs-brand-new-spot]

The hedge mage (Garbage wizard)

Tonight’s the night. The signs are all there, the stars are in alignment, astrology is correct, it’s an auspicious night. Time to break in and use the telescope, time to put the pieces together, after everything, he has to know. Neil gets up from his rest, sleeping outside for what seems like the hundredth time for him and brushes himself off. It was hot last night and he hasn’t been eating right, his bones ache and his body hurts, he can’t stop the anxiety that discomfort causes him. He wishes again that he could make it go away, fix it somehow so he didn’t have to feel this way. And he thinks back to the man, the one he met behind the McDonald’s when he went to root through the dumpster. The man who said he had potential and he shouldn’t waste it, he should do something more with himself than root through a dumpster. The man who stood oddly still, Neil never saw him breathe, he’d notice because he doesn’t make eye contact with new people, his eyes are always pointed down.

The man who disappeared when Neil looked away to consider what he’d said. Was he just another thing lurking in the corner of his eye? Neil never knows when his mind is playing tricks on him but he can’t shake this certainty that some veil is about to lift for him. He will finally, finally understand. He’s not even sure what it is he needs to understand yet but he knows he can’t let go of it, it’s inescapable and the pull is like gravity for him.

It’s not quite late enough yet to see, he checks his pockets and finds he actually has a little money for once. Cash he had set aside for this night, to make something of a celebration for himself where he could. His birthday had already come and gone and he’d spent another night running away. He’d be damned if he lost another opportunity for a little joy.

Time to go to white tower, some people say it’s just a knock off White Castle but Neil can’t even express how wrong he thinks that is. White tower is the food he would pick up on the rare peaceful night when his Mom wasn’t home and Neil would sit down and play spacewar! Most of the people at school didn’t know it yet but Neil was sure video games were gonna be the next big thing back then, he’s still convinced but it’s taking a little longer than he thought it would. He starts his walk to the fast food restaurant.

The people walking by, no one even notices him, on one hand it’s nice to get to walk around without feeling anxious and afraid. On the other hand, he wishes someone, anyone, would notice him.

He arrives, orders his food, sits down and for once, takes pleasure in the eating process. This isn’t food kitchen stuff or dumpster food from unserved patties, this was a full meal he picked out and ordered just for himself. Neil cannot even remember the last time he got this. Has to have been years by now from what is beginning to feel like a new start. He eats and enjoys his food and since he’s in here, he checks his backpack and he still has his grooming scissors. If he’s going to see the truths of the universe he should look the best he can. He lets himself in to their bathroom, washes himself up and trims his hair as best he can, it’s not perfect or even really pretty but it’s serviceable.

Finally ready to go, Neil is filled with sudden dread and fear, what if he messes this up? He’d ruin the first good night he’s had in who knows how long. Is it better just to skip the telescope? Go somewhere else and just watch the stars for a time? But no, he tells himself, really not a time to give up. He grits his teeth and steels himself, ready for his chance and walks to the school.

He arrives just in time, still not sure exactly how he’s getting inside but completely determined that he will somehow. Looking around, the building is locked up tight, no immediately visible way in. Just on the off chance someone forgot, he tries the front door. Locked, as expected, but for a long moment he thinks, if I just knew how, I could transfigure this door handle right off, wouldn’t have to knock it in or lock pick it or anything. And this moment goes on far longer than a more well adjusted person might think is reasonable. For Neil, it’s just another one of his moments.

When he snaps out of it, he realizes he’s gone from early to cutting it close now and with the heat his body broke into a sweat. Looks like he won’t be perfect for his date with the stars, figures he can’t have things go perfect just one time. Hurriedly he rushes to a window and tries to open it, no luck, next window, no luck, third try, jackpot. He gets the window open but it will only open a crack, he strains and tries to force it open further but he just can’t get it. Neil goes to move toward another window when he heard a voice ring out from behind him as he freezes. “Do you need some help with that?” The woman asks from behind and as Neil turns sheepishly to look at her he catches the briefest glimpse before his anxiety hits his head like an anchor and makes him look down. She’s average height, average weight, average features with raven black hair, a long black dress, black boots and wearing black lipstick. The only thing exceptional about her other than the way she’s dressed are her eyes, ice cold blue and feeling like they’re staring straight into his core. This woman is no older than Neil, hell, she might even be younger than him but that gaze roots him in place and fills him with fear. “U-um I uh…it’s not what it looks like” he says, quite clearly having just been trying to break into the school in the middle of the night. “Yes it is and I’m going to help you.” She says matter of factly, walking up next to Neil, reaching into nothing and producing a crowbar. For a moment Neil isn’t sure, is this his mind again or did that really happen? Who is this woman? Why is she here? This is an auspicious night, all the stars in alignment why isn’t this going how he hoped? Is she here to show him the hidden truth of the world? Why is this happening? Has he seen her before? The tide of thoughts rush through Neil as he babbles incoherently at the woman before she reaches out and lightly brushes a finger over his lips, instantly demanding silence from him as he goes stock still. The only movement from his body the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes and the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. “Your mind isn’t tricking you this time Neil, I did just do that and yes I knew you’d be here. I know why too. And I also know that if you go in there something terrible is gonna happen and I have decided I don’t want that to happen. So you can either come with me and learn the truths you so desperately want anyway or I can hit you in the head with this crowbar and keep you from going inside that way.” The woman says to Neil who just stares, mouth agape, directly at her feet as he still can’t bear to look her in the eye. “I’ll take that as a yes then, come on Neil, let’s go learn some magic together.” She says beckoning for him to follow and he does. Dragging his feet, mind moving a mile a minute, unable to shake the feeling his life is about to change forever.

The woman’s name is Abigail, Abby she insists on being called. Abby tells him that if he went into that school to watch the stars he would have met the man from behind the McDonald’s. He was and is real, he’s a monster that had been watching him, scouting him for months. Trying to decide if he should make Neil a monster too. She says getting into the school on an auspicious night, following all the signs, that was his last test for this monster. Now that Neil has failed, he’s moved on and will find someone else, somewhere else. She says she doesn’t care and is just glad she could help Neil but he can see it in her eyes sometimes, she wants to stop him. Neil’s still not sure he understands but for the first time in his life he thinks he’s starting to.

Abby lets him stay on her couch, she has a job working at the local library, it’s where he’s seen her before, he didn’t recognize her there because she dresses so differently at work. When she leaves in the mornings he doesn’t even recognize her some days, dressed in a sweater, blue jeans and sneakers, hair neatly out back, no black makeup. The only things that tell him it’s the same woman are her eyes and her hair, that black so deep he knows she had to dye it to get there. While she works Neil takes care of her house, he does the dishes, cleans the place, does her laundry, anything to feel useful. He still can’t find a job but she’s made it one of her requirements to keep teaching him that he keep trying to find something that works for him and no matter how hard it is he knows in his heart he needs to keep learning. She calls herself a sorcerer, says her abilities come from the studies of paths of linear magic. Something anyone can do if they work hard enough but most don’t see the truth or want to even try to learn. She tells him how her father was a sorcerer before he left to go work with the Mages. Neil is pleasantly surprised to learn there is actually a difference. He doesn’t understand why she decided he should be her apprentice but he’s grateful for it and can’t shake the feeling that she saved him from something terrible. He knows she’s been telling the truth about everything but he can’t explain how he knows that.

The first gift she teaches him is the one he’s most desperate to learn, the power to see, the gifts to look into the future. Learning is hard and unpredictable. At first his predictions are so small he’s not even sure he’s predicting anything but gradually, he notices he’s predicting things he couldn’t possible just guess. The first time he’s sure he divined the future is when he predicts a complete football game, start to finish, every score ending at every quarter with complete accuracy. Neil doesn’t even watch football, it’s why he picked it to divine, because he’d have no idea otherwise. When he tells Abby for the first time he sees her smile warmly and she hugs him “I’m proud of you Neil, I knew you would make a great apprentice.” She says as Neil finds himself locked completely still in place by this woman once again, his body not knowing how to react but responding to the body heat and loving touch of a woman. His whole head turns beet red and he can’t speak a complete sentence to her for the next week.

The first time she kisses him is the first morning after he visits her in a dream, he doesn’t realize when he visits her that his dream self reflects his emotional state to someone more experienced. She tells him when she kisses him that she knew for sure then that he was falling for her. Neil’s never had a girlfriend before so he doesn’t know what to do or how to act but he finally manages to land himself a job. He’s a ticket taker at the local movie theater, it’s not much but it’s a start and he’s proud of himself that he can actually pay for their first date since she still doesn’t charge him rent.

The first time they sleep together Neil finally learns alchemy, he figures out how to make a potion that will enhance your physical vitality. She’s so proud of him she makes him drink it. Neil is completely sure he wants to marry this woman, they can keep peeling back the veil for the rest of their lives he thinks for a brief hopeful moment. He’s been having a lot of those lately for some reason. He knows he can’t afford a ring but he decides to earn it, he knows he doesn’t deserve this, not yet. But he also knows he can earn it, he just needs to keep making himself useful and learning.

The future he wants so badly with her that he’s too afraid to let himself ask her for is within reach. Even with him denying it he knows, they sleep in the same bed every night, they have a grocery list together, Neil’s things are all throughout the apartment. He’s not her couch surfing apprentice anymore, he almost lets himself believe he can just go for it. Until, one day, he finally realizes what he needs to do, Neil needs to learn to transmute objects. It’s a magic Abby doesn’t know and not one he’s even sure is possible but if he wants to feel like he deserves this he knows he needs to learn something on his own and keep breaking the veil by himself.

He pores over book after book, finding resources anywhere he can find them, anything he can do, except ask Abby for help. She knows something is going on and that Neil is working on something but the fact he won’t tell her what’s wrong drives a bit of a wedge between them. He keeps forcing her away when he feels like she’s getting close to getting him to tell her because he needs to do this himself. His first night back on the couch is a cold one.

Weeks of searching finally lead him to a text, something Abby held onto from her father but never had the chance to translate from the dead language it was written in. Neil goes without proper sleep for a week just finding the right translation source. He keeps ending up on the couch more and more but Abby wanted to get a cat so at least he’s not alone.

He’s finally done it he thinks, holy shit he’s finally done it. The secret to transmutation is right in front of him and after reading this text over and over, constantly experimenting with it, he thinks he finally gets it. He’s not sure he can quite turn lead into gold just yet but he’s confident he can alter the shape and composition of an object.

Neil takes the time to try and make sure she’ll say yes, he picks back up on his housework, puts in extra hours at the theater to buy her flowers and take her out to dinner a few nights. She’s confused and doesn’t understand why he’s doing all of this but she’s grateful to have his attention again and she lets him back into the bed. For a moment Neil almost misses his couch before she pulls him in for a hug and he realizes how stupid that thought is.

It’s time to go to the antique store. Neil goes, having finally saved enough to maybe afford something resembling a ring, having gotten Abby’s measurements with a deft and gentle hand while she slept. He’s usually up before her anyway, even though he’s more comfortable than he’s ever been he still doesn’t need much sleep. He picks out a ring and takes it home. Placing it between his hands he focuses his will, feeling the heat and energy radiating off of the ring he pours his vision and heart into it. When he unclasps his hand there rests a perfect golden ring with what looks like a big diamond sitting right in the center. It might be a fake diamond, he’s not sure he can make the real thing but it looks convincing and that’s good enough for him. He smiles and thinks to himself “turning trash into treasure, I’m a regular garbage wizard.” She says yes

[heyyesimtrash-whatofit]

More Gatsby Reincarnation AU bullshit while I work on a piece for the show I’m in rn:

It’s a long ahh list so here’s a cut to save ur dash :)

Gatsby and Daisy absolutely love Grease. Yes the movie. Yes they force everyone to watch it at least once every four-or-so months during group movie night, yes they sing the whole thing

Everyone begrudgingly has their song in Grease. Jordan’s is Danny’s part in summer nights (with Gatsby as Sandy funny enough), Tom’s is Greased Lightning, Jay’s is Raining on Prom Night (although Daisy joins him 90% of the time), Daisy’s is There Are Worse Things I Could Do, and Nick’s is Beauty School Dropout!

Nick has the voice of an angel. Literally. First time he really sang Beauty School Dropout left everyone floored

For my fellow Natsby Shippers: Already was Jay entranced by Nick’s voice, but things got worse when Nick turned his performance of said song above on him during their obligatory watch. Dude bluescreened hard and it took a minute before they could continue the movie

Speaking of movie nights, the gang does movie nights! With how available it is nowadays why not? Sometimes it’s twice a month, sometimes it’s once, sometimes it’s every other month. Really just depends on how often they can

Meyer is here too everyone! He’s a teacher at a nearby high school (although you’re a fool to think that’s his only job). While he originally taught economics, he got roped into using his double major to teach English. Specifically Junior Year. The Great Gatsby unit is always awkward

Nick has a Tumblr! He’s flat out said multiple times on said blog that he is Nick Carraway reincarnate. Through some simple proofs his followers have accepted that yup, that’s Nick Carraway back from the grave. It’s like how we have Neil Gaiman here, but with Nick.

Jordan has a blog too, but only to fuck with Nick. That’s it, that’s the only reason. Their followers love watching them fight online lmao

Nick uses his blog to update everyone on the gang and answer questions. Yes, TGG was gay. So is he. He’s answered this a million times can we get a new question please??

One of Meyer’s students showed him said blog, at which point his student teacher George Willows (Wilson) pointed out that he knew Nick back in high school and offers to set up a meeting

That meeting was awkward as fuck. Nick and George just stared at each other, both knowing, until George ran out of the room, at which point Meyer took to testing Nick. The two shot references back and forth until Nick cracked

Nick has a therapist. He was pushed to get one after a rather bad crack in his own mind after Jay remembered (I’ll explain in a minute). He tiptoed around his real problem for ages, not wanting to be seen as insane (again), until his therapist asked him one day about a book. See its uncut pages? Do you know what that means, Nick?

Boy was it a relief to be able to actually talk about his struggles with reincarnation after that

(TW: Derealization, just in case) Nick’s Mental Crack, as mentioned above, happened on his first birthday after Jay remembered everything. He vanished for a few days, only to be found unresponsive by his friends. When he finally did respond, it was only to repeat that they (the gang) weren’t real, something drilled into him from his time at the sanatorium and his last 60-ish years of isolation in his first life. For a few more days he did little more than stare into the bathroom mirror, repeat that phrase, or gently touch at his eyes. When he finally did come to, the first thing he did was turn to Jay and ask “Is this real?” There was. A lot of crying from all parties following. And therapy.

Listen, dealing with grief in the 20s already sucked. He got sent to a sanatorium for Christ’s sake! That, paired with what I imagine to have been spending the last 60+ years of his life in self isolation AND being the first to remember their past lives? That ain’t easy man. He could use a little help

He does get better tho. Things get easier. Maybe a little too easy because one day, when a mutual friend(s) of all of theirs outright stops them and asks if they’re the reincarnated cast of Gatsby, he just says yes. Straight up. “Yup. Took you that long?”

Meanwhile everyone else (except for Jordan honestly) is trying to deny it and failing miserably

Back to movies and film! Nick likes Sci-fi things alongside historical stuff that he can laugh at being wrong, Jay enjoys romance (specifically shit like the Bachelor tell me I’m wrong-), Jordan is a fan of of mysteries, Daisy enjoys horror films purely because of the kickass final girl most of them have alongside a fair share of musicals, and Tom likes Sports films like Happy Gilmore and Benchwarmers

To my fellow Natsby ppl again: Gatsby is shorter than Nick. Was back in the 20s and is now! When hugging or cuddling, Nick could absolutely smother Jay. He is a small fella, very holdable

Every time they rewatch the 2013 Gatsby, Jordan has a tendency to say either “that’s gay” or “that’s homophobic” at respective times. Nick keeps a tally on how many times she says each every watch

And that’s all I think I have again for now. Thanks again for @writerinconstantcrisis for helping with most of these and this AU as a whole really. Until next time nerds!

[mostlymaudlin]

#8 for the fic writing ask 🖤

i just answered this but ill do another !!

i've always wanted to put andrew in a time loop

hold on tw suicide a lil bit lmfao

BUT i just kinda think that andrew's will to live is such a tentative thing but you can't kill yourself in a time loop lmfao. at least not in a way that lasts. but that's kind of the ethos of why i want to put andrew in a time loop because i think it would force him to find more reasons to live! my original idea around this was actually just a normal day post-canon so he does have reasons to live but he's still so wrapped up in his duties to others, and the loop would just inherently isolate him from his people which would be excruciating -- and also he would have no one to put up fronts for. i think that level of independence and shamelessness would be really interesting to explore with him. and also he would kill himself so many times sdkjngksjn

i'm also fascinated by how neil would react in the repeating timelines, because he's so attuned to andrew's moods and up in his business. once i actually wrote a lil bit of this kind of thing but from neil's pov. the idea was that andrew is pretty far into the loops and he just doesnt care abt anything. so he tries to spend the day in bed. but to neil, andrew is just rly depressed out of nowhere!! and ofc neil always always always tries to take care of andrew...

i'm not sure if i'll ever write the big andrew pov version, but here's the lil snip of neil pov:

Neil doesn’t know what to do when Andrew doesn’t get out of bed. 

He leaves him be at first, trusting him to make decisions for himself. But they’re really going to be late for practice, so Neil crouches on the floor next to Andrew’s bed. He’s awake — Andrew never sleeps through this level of movement and noise. 

“Hey,” Neil says. Andrew, facing the wall, does not react. “Are you coming to practice?”

Nothing. 

Neil looks to Kevin, who stands in the bedroom doorway, but he looks as lost as Neil feels. 

Andrew’s head is not an easy place to be. The evidence is on his skin. But still, Neil has never seen him shut down quite like this before. Regardless of how wound up or closed off Andrew gets, he always gets up. He might move through the day stone-faced and silent, or irritable and violent, but he moves. Something is very wrong. 

Neil grimaces. “Get a ride with Matt and tell Coach we’re sick. I’ll call him later.”

Kevin tries to argue, but Neil shakes his head firmly. Kevin snaps his mouth shut with a look toward Andrew’s blanketed figure, then stomps out the door. Neil waits for the slam that signifies Kevin’s exit, then turns back to Andrew. He watches the subtle rise and fall of Andrew’s back for a few breaths.

“It’s just me now,” Neil whispers. “What’s wrong?”

Still no reaction. Neil sighs, then gets to his feet. In the kitchen, he pours the last of the coffee into a mug and makes a bowl of cereal, carrying both to the bedroom. He sets them on the floor near Andrew’s bed, then sits down next to them.

“Will you eat?” Neil asks, this time expecting the non-response, though it doesn’t ease the churning worry at his core. “If you want me to go, I need at least one sign that your brain hasn’t turned into a vegetable.”

Neil decides to give Andrew five more minutes before he starts considering seeking outside help. He sets his forearms on the edge of Andrew’s mattress, resting his cheek against one arm as he stares at the silky, sleep-mussed hair at the back of Andrew’s head. It’s been four minutes when Andrew finally rolls over. 

The action puts their faces only inches apart, but Andrew’s stare is distant. Still, the movement is a relief. 

“Hi,” Neil whispers. “What do you need?”

Andrew closes his eyes. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he rasps. “Go to practice.”

“You want me to leave?”

Andrew looks at him again, and this time his gaze is more focused. “No.”

Neil exhales. He reaches out a hand toward Andrew’s face, waiting for a subtle nod before he brushes Andrew’s hair off his forehead. 

“Breakfast?” Neil asks softly. Andrew shakes his head. 

“Kuefsteinstraße,” he says. 

Neil’s eyebrows shoot up.

“The street you lived on,” Andrew says. “In St. Pölten. You said it was the nicest place you lived in Europe, and that you’d believe me if I mentioned it.”

Neil swallows, racking his memory. “I don’t remember telling you about St. Pölten. I haven’t thought about that place in years.”

Andrew closes his eyes again. “You wouldn’t remember.”

“I don’t understand.”

Andrew slides back on the mattress until he’s pressed against the wall.

i'm not really sure where it goes from here other than andrew would tell neil he's in a time loop and neil would believe him! i don't think neil could help him get out of the loop, but having him believe him would at least give andrew comfort. and andrew would probably only tell neil in loops where he really needed that 😭

[bardraelyn]

The Gift of the Magi (a Good Omens meta)

If you’ve been following the Good Omens discourse, you’ve probably seen discussions around whether Aziraphale’s choice of the name “Jim” for Gabriel comes from either the cabin boy in Treasure Island or the titular character in the novel Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad.

But what if there’s a more subtle connection that viewers haven’t caught onto yet? And what if it’s a connection that Aziraphale intuited on a such a deep level he didn’t even realize it, the very moment Gabriel showed up naked on the his doorstep? And what if it’s a connection that has deep significance to his actions in the final 15?

Let’s follow this thought down the wooded winter path and see where it goes, shall we?

Before we proceed, we must first pause a moment to reflect on a classic O. Henry short story, which shares the title of this post: “The Gift of the Magi.” If you aren’t familiar with it, or if it’s been a while since you last read it, you can refresh your memory here (text) or here (text) or here (video). O. Henry lived from 1862 to 1910, and I’ve no doubt that Aziraphale would be aware of this author. What’s more, Neil Gaiman has read the work of O. Henry and has absolutely been influenced by it. I’m going to give the gist of the story below, but you really ought to familiarize yourself with the full work if for no other reason than to add to the angst I’m about to deliver.

So: “The Gift of the Magi” is the story of Della and Jim, a young couple who each sacrifice their most valued possessions to buy the other a Christmas gift that they deem worthy of the one that they love. Jim sells his gold pocket watch—a family heirloom that had belonged to his grandfather—to buy jeweled combs for Della’s beautiful long hair. Meanwhile, Della sells her hair to buy a platinum watch chain so that Jim need not be embarrassed by the cheap leather thong he’d been using when taking out his watch to check the time. In the end, both have sacrificed something priceless to give each other gifts that a neither can use. It’s a touching story, really, but also quite obviously tragic. Della and Jim both acted rashly, but also out of love, and in the end, it is that love that they treasure the most.

By now you’ve probably noticed something, but if not, let me draw for you the connections.

Jim arrives naked on Aziraphale’s doorstep. If there’s one thing we know about Gabriel, it’s that he's really fond of his suits. He not only mentions it in his chat with Aziraphale in the sushi restaurant in S1 and in the file that Crowley watches in Heaven in S2 but also visits his tailor in a scene that was in the script for S1 but never filmed. And why has Jim shown up on Aziraphale’s doorstep? Why, he’s trying to get to Beelzebub, of course. And what does Jim have of Beelzebub's? A fly in which to keep his memories. Like his namesake in “Gift of the Magi,” Jim gave up his most valued possession (quite possibly his only possession) to be with Beelzebub. And like Della, Beelzebub gave up a part of themself (one of their flies) to be with Gabriel.

And Aziraphale noticed it.

Now, if I’d spent four years waiting for the other shoe to drop after thwarting a major agenda of both my employer and their most significant corporate rival, the arrival of my old boss naked on my doorstep would absolutely set off alarm bells in my head. It clearly did for Crowley, and I’ve no doubt it did for Aziraphale. He didn’t have all the pieces yet and he couldn’t have known that Gabriel made a sacrifice out of love, but Aziraphale knew that the other shoe was about about drop and that a sacrifice of some sort was coming.

And to be clear, I’m not saying that in the moment when he landed on the name “Jim” it had any connection at all to the O. Henry story, because it could not have and didn’t—not to Aziraphale, anyway (as for a certain author by the name of Neil…well, we’ll probably never know)—but once all the pieces started falling into place, Aziraphale would almost certainly have noticed the parallels.

So then came his chin-wag with The Metatron, and the decisions he made during or immediately after. And once again we have parallels, and must wonder if the O. Henry story perhaps inspired them.

Because whether you believe our favorite anxious angel made the sacrifice to protect Crowley from a vague but definite threat or to buy Crowley back his angelic status, the reality is that Aziraphale gave up his most valued possession for Crowley. It was foolish, it was rash, and it was done out of love, but it was absolutely done for Crowley—because no matter how much Aziraphale wants to change Heaven, he doesn’t love Heaven enough to give up his bookshop. And how do we know this? Because in that same not-filmed scene where Gabriel visits his tailor, Gabriel and Sandalphon try to promote Aziraphale back to Heaven, and he doesn't want to go. He's only just purchased his bookshop, you see, and the grand opening is that afternoon.

So the question is, if Aziraphale is Jim in this scenario, and the bookshop is his pocket watch, what part of himself will Crowley, as Della (and coincidentally, the only one of the duo to have been shown with long hair) sacrifice for love of Aziraphale? Maybe his cynicism?

[nellie-elizabeth]

Some whining about fan responses to GO2 below the cut. I'm just being a jerk mostly lol.

Not gonna tag or link the posts because I'm not trying to stir shit but I see some people doing the thing for Good Omens season 2 that people did for Sherlock or Supernatural where, they didn't really like some aspects of season 2, and instead of saying "oh, that part didn't really gel with me" they think "Oh, it's actually all part of a long con that Neil Gaiman is playing on us! The stuff that I thought was bad? It was bad on purpose!" (Remember, the secret final episode of Sherlock, or the fact that the penultimate Supernatural episode was "bad on purpose" so the finale would fix it all?)

And it's so frustrating because I think these people are setting themselves up for further disappointment when season three comes. I personally loved season two of good omens! It really hit the spot for me, I thought it was funny and charming and clever and perfectly heartbreaking. If you didn't like it, that's okay, you don't have to construct a whole conspiracy theory around "why it was bad".

I want to be clear i don't mean just having theories about potential mysteries/clues leading to season 3. What are the Metatron's real motivations? Will we get to know who Crowley was as an angel before the fall? That sort of stuff is fun to speculate about, and we certainly don't have all the answers!

What I'm talking about things like... I saw someone say that the Eccles Cakes were a secret clue: why bring them up and put such emphasis on them only for them not to get eaten, hmmm? That couldn't have been just a simple oversight... it must be a grander point about the secret undercurrent plot that's been hiding right in front of our eyes this whole time.

And... no, it's not a simple oversight. It's not a grand clue to a big mystery (imo) either. It's pretty basic storytelling. Aziraphale asks Nina for something that calms people down, he procures the Eccles cakes on her recommendation, and then hands them off to Crowley as they enter the shop. There's a pointed shot of the uneaten cookies as Crowley storms off because, guess what, nobody ate them, and nobody's calming down! I think that's it, y'all. No grand mystery to parse here.

Or one thing I saw that really had me scratching my head was "why did we spend so long in the '40s minisode seeing Aziraphale pick out magic tricks in the shop, do the whole fake-out with the bullets, etc.? What was the point of showing us all that?"

I mean... because it was funny and charming and good character development? I don't know that it was leading to any grand secret behind the scenes. The setup and the pay-off is all right there in the 1940's flashbacks. Aziraphale is bad at stage magic, and then real miracles are blocked, and in the moment of truth he's able to use trickery correctly, for once in his life. Crowley and Aziraphale both manage to keep each other safe in the human way, even when their miracles are blocked. It's all right there, it doesn't have to be a clue leading to some big switcharoo later down the road.

Or one last thing I saw was people saying "where were the Zombies? Why have a plot about digging up corpses, and another story about Zombies, what does it all mean?"

And like... I don't know, maybe it means some Secret Extra Thing that i just haven't seen yet, but isn't it also possible that it means... thematic foreshadowing of season three's external plot? You've got Job's children being "reborn", you've got corpses being dug up, you've got zombies roaming London. The third season is about the Second Coming, y'all. I don't want to say "it's not that deep" because it is that deep, it's not just... extra made up layers of obfuscation that give it unnecessary confusing deepness. If that makes sense.

Bottom line, if this season didn't gel with you, I'm sorry! But I promise you, you're setting yourself up for disappointment if you spend the next couple years divining all the secret codes Gaiman put into the work for you. He didn't write a "bad on purpose" season of television. He wrote a good season of television! I'm sure there are mysteries to unravel, and fun clues to go back and find later on when we see how it all ends up. But he didn't write an entire season of TV to be a big giant misdirect in and of itself. I really don't think that's how this works.

End of soap box.

[denimbex1986]

'Doctor Who just delivered what equates to a series finale with "The Giggle," taking fans on one last incredible journey with the Doctor before ushering in a new era of the franchise. As the third and final 60th anniversary special, "The Giggle" carries the weight of bringing David Tennant's story as the Fourteenth Doctor to an end and kicking off the long-awaited introduction of Ncuti Gatwa as the Fifteenth Doctor. With Gatwa's first full episode as the Doctor coming in a few weeks on Christmas Day, "The Church on Ruby Road" will serve as a soft reboot for Doctor Who.

With that in mind, "The Giggle" really does feel like the end of an era for the franchise that came before it, calling back to both the very first episode and multiple key moments in the Doctor's life since. More than once during these anniversary specials, Donna (Catherine Tate) has asked the Doctor (Tennant) why this face came back. As she mused in "The Star Beast," with both of them believing she was dying, it's clear now that it came back to say goodbye, not to Donna but to the rebooted series itself, with showrunner Russell T. Davies bringing Tennant and Tate — one of the most beloved Doctor/Companion pairs in the franchise — to give the show a proper send off before stepping into what comes next.

Simultaneously a breathtaking ending and a beautiful beginning, "The Giggle," is Davies at his best. This episode is both terrifying and hilarious. It's heart-pounding and emotional to watch the Doctor face his oldest adversary while he fights to protect the people of Earth that he can't help but love despite never being able to say the words. "The Giggle" has something for everyone, with reunions and references that will delight fans of classic Who and just as many for those who've only seen the newer iteration. And for those who haven't seen either, the audience is still given enough information to know exactly why these moments are so emotional.

Russell T. Davies Takes 'Doctor Who' Back to Its Roots in "The Giggle"

The episode opens with a flashback to the advent of television, a variation on the real story, with a genuinely ominous performance from Neil Patrick Harris as the Toymaker. With a creepy puppet, feeding off of John Logie Baird's desire to entertain the world, the Toymaker sets in motion a very long game for the human race, and a direct challenge for the Doctor back in the present time. Shortly after the events seen at the end of "Wild Blue Yonder," the Doctor and Donna find themselves in the middle of pure chaos, with every living person thinking that they're right at the expense of both themselves and everyone around them. Following a lovely reunion with UNIT leader Kate Lethbridge Stewart (Jemma Redgrave), the Doctor and Donna get brought up to speed on what's happened to humanity in their absence — in short, everyone's gone mad.

At UNIT HQ, the Doctor is treated to yet another reunion with the return of classic Who companion Melanie "Mel" Bush (Bonnie Langford). For those who don't know, Mel was one of the sixth and seventh Doctor's companions, appearing in 20 episodes in the 1980s. She ended her time with the Doctor of her own volition, heading off to have her own adventures among the stars. It's such a sweet moment, and as a brilliant computer programmer, Mel plays a crucial role in the episode and the goings on at UNIT, setting her up for a recurring role in the new season with the fifteenth Doctor. The team at UNIT has developed a device to keep their brain activity under control, but without it, regular humans are sent into a frenzy that they can't control. Luckily for Donna and Mel though, their time in the TARDIS naturally protects them.

In addition to weaving a compelling high-stakes narrative for his characters, Davies also takes the opportunity to make some truly remarkable social commentary in this episode. Since its inception, Doctor Who has always been a clever allegory, with stories that bring awareness to issues of race, gender, capitalism, and climate in a way that, for some is hard to swallow, but is always necessary to hear. Davies has woven such commentary into each of these specials so far, laying out clear support for the LGBTQ community (of which he's also a part). Now, in "The Giggle," he addresses politics, anti-vaxxers, our dependence on technology, and the simple folly of the human ego. And while the Doctor doesn't shy away from any of the darkness dwelling in humanity, he also notes that this doesn't negate our goodness, the desire to be better, and the worthiness of our continued existence.

David Tennant and Catherine Tate Deliver Knockout Performances in "The Giggle"

"The Giggle" puts the Doctor off balance, striking fear into the near-all-powerful being in a way that he rarely experiences on screen. Tennant delivers another incredible performance, taking the Doctor through the full gamut of emotions. Terrified by turns and filled with unbridled rage fueled by that fear, Tennant imbues the Doctor with unprecedented vulnerability, as he confesses to Donna that he's truly out of his element this time. Ever the empath, Donna recognizes that the Doctor has pushed down years and years of feelings that he needs to address, urging him once again to take a break. As he fights to keep it together, taking on the burden of the hero once again, Donna helps him realize that he's not only not alone, but he's never alone when she's around.

There's a reason that Donna and the Doctor are a fan-favorite duo in the franchise, and for the third episode in a row, Tate and Tennant prove that it largely comes down to the way they play off each other. Donna is one of the best companions, because of her incredible integrity and her ability to see straight through the walls the Doctor surrounds himself with. Differentiating Fourteen from Ten, Tennant allows the Doctor to accept that Donna sees him, while in the past he's always tempted to push other companions away for their own good, now, he lets Donna in. Both Tennant and Tate — and Donna and the Doctor — bring out the best in each other, making each other better.

They don't do it all alone this time though, and each of the supporting actors in this episode brings the caliber of their performance up to the level it needs to be to hold their own against these two. Harris is, of course, a stand-out as the Toymaker, bouncing seamlessly between accents as he gleefully delights in his twisted games. Well-established as a comedy actor, Harris gives The Toymaker a very natural sense of humor, as the role requires an air of playfulness at its core. However, he gives the Toymaker a level of menacing gravitas underneath, indicating how serious a threat he truly is to everything the Doctor loves and all the rules he holds dear. Harris and Tennant's chemistry is pure animosity in such a way that brings the audience to the edge of their seats with every interaction.

The Toymaker pushes the Doctor to the brink as he taunts Donna with the fate of the companions who came after her and the Flux, answering the questions left lingering at the end of "Wild Blue Yonder." Davies immediately chases that emotional climax with one of the most outrageous scenes in the franchise. Backed by the iconic Spice Girls track, "Spice Up Your Life," the Toymaker turns UNIT HQ into his playground, chaotically dancing around and flaunting his power right in the Doctor's face. It's equal parts camp and chaos, with an emotional undertone that grounds a scene that would be completely ridiculous out of context. It's in all of these moments that it's clear that "The Giggle" was crafted with such love for Doctor Who and all the wild impossible tales within it. This series is as silly as it is serious, and Davies' commitment to that is beautifully executed in this episode.

"The Giggle" Welcomes Ncuti Gatwa With Open Arms and Gives David Tennant a Worthy Send-Off

As the Toymaker's game reaches a fever pitch, the Doctor gives him one final chance to leave humanity alone and take his games back to the stars. He offers the same thing he always offers the Master, a chance to run away together and leave everyone else in peace. But, in true villain fashion, he refuses. Before the Doctor can challenge him to the final game in their best-of-three match, the Toymaker demands to play the next game with the next doctor, shooting Tennant's Doctor square in the chest with a space laser. As the Doctor begins to regenerate, golden light streams from his hands and face as he prepares to say goodbye. The moment is as tense and emotional as Doctor Who has ever been as Donna and Mel rush to his side, refusing to let him die alone. The funny thing is, he doesn't actually die at all. For the very first time in Doctor Who, the Doctor experiences bi-regeneration. Instead, of changing his face, the Doctor splits in two, with Gatwa appearing with pure gusto and delight. Together they defeat the Toymaker, but before Fifteen sets off on his next grand adventure, he insists that Fourteen finally rest after thousands of years of running, and that's exactly what he does.

The Fifteenth Doctor is incredibly charming right from the jump, grinning and relishing his new body. It's impossible to watch the end of this episode and not be wildly excited about Gatwa's turn as the Doctor. His Doctor is filled with a sense of joy, and he has a tenderness about him that will win the hearts of fans in an instant as he reaffirms the Doctor's love for past companions like River Song and Sarah Jane. Imbuing both the past and the future with so much love, Fifteen ushers in a new era of Doctor Who that should have everyone excited about what comes next. The Doctor, who has spent so many years filled with regret and self-loathing, finally gets to take time to heal and learn how to be loved, giving his future self the sense of self-love and vulnerability he'll need to keep going.

Meanwhile, Donna and the Doctor finally get their own happily ever afters as Fourteen settles in with her family, presumably for the rest of his life. Rather than the tragic heartbreak of their last goodbye — as beautiful as it was — the Doctor finally comes home and gets to be part of her family, while Donna gets an exciting new job at UNIT to spend the rest of her days with everyone she loves. It's a little bit saccharine, but it plays out with grounded performances from Tennant and Tate who, with tears in their eyes, make it feel entirely earned. This Doctor finally gets to rest as the next boldly goes on saving the rest of the universe.

Rating: 9/10'

[onedayanauthor]

Okay, come on a little journey with me......

what if Romero and Jackson were actually undercover FBI informants?

The were both born into crime families of some kind. They were both super smart, but when you've got family who are criminals, you will always be seen as a criminal too regardless of who you are/want to be. You get labeled immediately, so it's easier to just be who they think or say you are. Also, they had pressure from their families to commit to the family legacy and lifestyle. But somewhere along the line, the two agreed that shit sucked and that if they were given the option to get out, they would take it. Meanwhile, they are committing to the bit. Doing pretty crimes, making a name for themselves.

At some point, they get caught by the police. (Maybe when they're youngish teenagers when they can still "turn their life around") It's a one in a million chance, but somehow there's an officer who recognizes how brilliant they are and knows someone who knows someone who is an FBI agent. This agent comes in and is like "you can't be an FBI agent, but you guys are lucky because you are smart and you are in just the right circles of crime that we currently need, so I'll make you a deal. Help me bring down a crime boss and your records will be wiped, you will be given new identities and a new place to live, and you will be allowed to live your life how you please."

Jackson and Romero agree. They promised that they would take any out possible and they know this is their best option.

So they go deep cover. They get released from that county jail and immediately start building up their reputation. Romero uses his sister's connection to a man named The Butcher to build their reputation even higher. Do they have to do crimes sometimes? Yes. Do they have to kill people sometimes? Yes. They try to only kill when necessary and only when it will actually help their reputation. It's never for sadistic reasons. Not like Lola. They finally get to the top, Nathan Wesninski.

And they help get him put away... but they didn't have enough to charge him with anything longer than 2 years, so Jackson and Romero are stuck in the crime world for at least a little while longer.

Then Nathan's 2 years are up and he gets out. And suddenly Romero and Jackaon see an opportunity. Nathan's sights are set on his son, so Romero and Jackson use this tunnel vision to begin setting up a trap with the FBI. But they have to be careful and they have to go slow because this really might be the only chance and if Romero and Jackson get caught... well... they've seen firsthand what Lola can do with a knife and they know exactly what sounds a human makes when cut by the cleaver.

So the watch and wait and plan with the FBI.

Then the moment comes. Do Romero and Jackson want to hurt a kid? No. But right now, that kid is the bait for a trap that will free them. So in the grand scheme of things, hurting one last kid is worth it.

They don't have to do much anyway besides manhandle the kid. And hand Lola the dashboard lighter. (Romero ends up having to use the lighter once. But he puts it in the same spot on the kid's face as Lola already did in hopes that the nerves are already burned and it won't hurt as much... his guess was wrong.)

Everything is easy from there. They initially left the stadium in a highway patrol car and then stopped to swap to a Cadillac. At this swap, Jackson was left with the pateol car and Romero and Lola continued on. Jackson was immediately picked up by the FBI. They took the highway patrol car and crash it. One faked death down. One to go.

Romero drove Lola and the kid to the next stop: a local police cruiser. Romero helped the officers get Neil from the Cadillac to the cruiser. Then he was left with Cadillac while they drove away. The FBI pick Romero up too. They stage a "drug deal gone wrong shootout" and now no one should come looking for Jackson or Romero.

They had to wait until it was official--that the Butcher of Baltimore was dead; that his inner circle was either dead (themselves included) or captured; that the feds had gotten plenty of info from the Butcher son--and then finally, Jackson and Romero were free. They were given new names, given new IDs, and a new place to live. Then they were free.

[hades-10397]

31 days of Harringrove

Prompt: Baby it’s cold outside pt 2

Billy removed his jacket setting on a near by chair. He toed his boots off and walked them back over to the front door. He made his way back to the living room. He looked at the book selection. He picked a book that peaked his interest and sat on the opposite side of the fire place from Steve. He opened the book and began to read about this guy Arthur Dent and his friend Ford. “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy! That’s one of my favorites. You know if you end up liking it it’s a series.” He responded to Steve with a hum getting really into the book.

They sat in silence for awhile and read. It was peaceful. The warmth of the fire made him forget how cold he was. The quit company was nice. Billy couldn’t remember the last time he just sat and read a book. He was about half way through the book when Steve closed his book. He looked up and watched Steve remove his glasses once more and set them on the table along with his book. “There is something about vampire books that just draw me in.” “Steve chucked. “What was the book about?” He was interested in what Steve liked so much about it.

Then it began with Steve talking about this vampire, Louis, who tells his life story to a reporter. Then Steve was talking about how he hopes the writer will put out another book soon. Then how he started reading more recently because he was diagnosed with dyslexia. He talks about how it was frustrating that this whole time he wasn’t stupid, He just had a harder time than other. Billy sat there and listened while Steve talked about his life. He didn’t speak unless he had a question or a small comment on something.

“So what about you man. You’re basically like a whole mystery to this town.” Steve pulled his blanket to cover more of his body. He sat back waiting to listen. Billy felt a little uncomfortable with being put on the spot but hey maybe this was a chance to start something he had wanted for so long. “Alright well.. I’ve always liked school. I have a photographic memory so learning came easy to me but I always wanted to learn more. At least I did when I was young.” He continued to talk just like Steve had. He had listened just like Billy did for him.

“So what made you move out to bumfuck Indiana.” He chuckled. Billy really wanted to avoid this but now with Neil gone and being in Susan’s care he knew he was safe enough to open up. Maybe even ready to. “My dad.. he caught me with a guy in my room. My dad was a real piece of work. He was racist, homophobic just about everything in the book. So he.. he beat me and said we had to move out of this liberal state.” He looked at the fire avoiding Steve’s stare. He sighed waiting his breathe effect the flames. “My mom left us. When the beating got to much she left. I would call her but as more time went on she stopped answering.”

He finally met Steve’s eyes to find and understand look. “I can’t imagine how hard that was. Shit my parents suck but their not even around to know what goes on in my life.” Billy was surprised he didn’t have a negative thing to say about him being gay. “I guess that fight at Byers makes more sense. I’d be angry at the world to if I had a dad like that.” Billy scoffed softly. “Preaching to the choir pretty boy.” Steve sat up at the name. He gave him a confused look. “What?” “Is that why you call me pretty boy?”

Billy laughed at that. “Yeah dude it’s called a crush? You pick on them sometimes and call them pet names.” Steve sat there for awhile. He just stared at him. It started making Billy uncomfortable. “You got a problem or something?” “No no! No problem here!” Steve stood up and walked away to the kitchen. He sighed and followed the other. “Come on Steve what’s wrong.” This was making him more anxious. It’s not like people can help who they like. He couldn’t really be upset at him for that.

“First, I wouldn’t call punching someone in the face picking on them.” Billy rolled his eyes. He thought they were pass this. He already apologized. “Second, I’m sure most people would be overwhelmed when their crush says they liked them too so give me a break would ya.” Steve leaned up against the kitchen counter staring at the ceiling. Wait did he just say he liked him. There’s no way. “Hold on. You like me too?” Billy inhaled scared Steve would say ‘Sike! Got ya!’ but it never came. God why wasn’t Steve saying anything.

Finally. “Of course I like you! Have you seen.. you! Plus you’re like really interesting and I don’t know. I use to put on a mask and be an asshole so it felt like someone understood how I felt. That’s one of the things that drew me in.”

[thebookdragonsden]

We have upwards of approximately 3500 physical books crossing a wide variety of genres and formats so it mostly comes down to two factors:

1) how easy will it be to find a specific book... which rules any rainbow designs right out because I don't generally remember color of the spine on a book

2) what will best utilize space because I need to also be able to exist in said space, I move a lot, and I can't always afford a nice big house to put bookshelves galore in so I have 13 shelves. How can I make it all fit while also maintaining 1)

So aside from rainbow (pretty but useless for anything but aesthetics and omg the amount of work) we dash a little bit of everything in there.

Shelf 1: my tiny collection of translated Chinese novels because they don't really fit anywhere else and I bought a new shelf for it. It's small.

Shelf 2: all my wife's psychology books on top shelf, all the mythology and mythology retellings on 2nd shelf (wife's request and I hate this shelf with a burning passion because if didn't know it was a retelling I'm looking for it elsewhere), adult fantasy trade paperbacks (bigger than mass market and we have a lot fewer of them), non fiction, historical fiction, and mystery

Tldr this shelf is kind of a dumping ground shield for things we don't have enough of to fill a full bookshelf but also have too many of to put on one of the tall, narrow shelves

Shelf 3. Mass market adult sci-fi fantasy paperbacks

Shelf 4. Overflow for huge YA fantasy, paperback adult fantasy that is the same size as smaller hard cover fantasy (these are bigger than trades too... yes I know why God are there so many book sizes)

Shelf 5. Graphic novels

Shelf 6 and 7. Manga

Shelf 8 and 9. YA fantasy novels, all smaller sizes and couple of the huge ones that bleed over to shelf 4

Shelf 10. (Tall and narrow) artbooks, poetry, shelves dedicated to fav authors (Lynn Flewelling, Marissa Meyer, Terry Pratchett)

Shelf 11. (Tall and narrow) more shelves dedicated to fav authors or just authors we've a lot of books for- Mercedes Lackey, Patrick Ness, Neil Gaiman, Susanna Kearney, and biographies

Shelf 12. Huge adult Sci fi/fantasy hard covers

Shelf 13. A big shelf but with small broken up squares dedicated to... YA contemporary, Maggie Stiefvater, Leigh Bardugo, Holly Black, Tamora Pierce, historical fiction, and finally two long shelves of language learning books

For the genre shelves, they're arranged by author

Graphic novel shelf is arranged by some bizarre algorithm of my wife's and I just end up hunting through it all before I find what I'm looking for.

Manga is.... well.... one shelf is series I've completed, other shelf is series in still collecting, and both of those are organized by title except... the bookshelves have cool gliding front shelves so I can essentially double stack the manga and still have easy visibility on it all so the face shelf of completed manga is all of the larger manga volumes (perfectly sized) and the face shelf of the incomplete manga is all CLAMP... because I own pretty much every volume of everything CLAMP that has ever been released in English except X/1999 because I'm still salty CLAMP never completed it. And Suki, which I did own once upon a time but might be the only CLAMP project I actively disliked.

All of this is not including the random stacks of books pulled on top of the shelves or around the shelves that my wife swears she is reading and getting rid of but I genuinely have no idea what is.

For the record, not mad about the last bit. Being surrounded by books is my happy place whether I read them or not.

Anyway tldr I am probably not your intended audience for this and I hope you get/got an answer you were happy with but I find perverse amusement in sharing the utter lack of cohesive vision that is our library set up.

This is very important research so I can figure out how to arrange my books