#needed to see my thoughts written down and not just floating around in my brain

[punskiii]

gender rant /cw?

I think it's been well over 10-12 years of my life that I've been struggling with coming to terms with my gender identity. It's been a constant thought I've had for literally EVERY DAY since at least the start of my teenage years.

Been trying in vain--so hard--to push these feelings down down down down.....

I tried telling my mom when I was 15, and her reaction made me panic; it wasn't explicitly negative, but it was enough for me to tell her "never mind, I think I was wrong after all haha....." just a handful of weeks later. I kind of get why, but the way she sighed in relief after that really stung... Hearing how she and most/all the rest of my family talks about people similar to me (especially non-binary people) has done anything but boost any confidence in myself and my will to come out to them.

Ever since then, I've only expressed my feelings about gender through my art and on this site, and a few select friends outside of this space. Only two people have I told directly any concrete feelings that I have about my body and how I actually want to be seen, and even that took a lot for me to do and be open about because of how much I've been doubting myself and trying to "dumb down" the way I present myself.

I think I've reached a breaking point.

I can't live like this any longer. I need things to change.

I don't want to think about all these things EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. anymore... There are so many other things that I want to do besides dealing with these feelings and thoughts, and I'm so indescribably tired of it.

I want to get help to become comfortable in my own skin. I want the clothes I wear to be a way to express myself; not to hide under. I want to enjoy the way my body feels under my hands or someone else's without the urge to flinch away when they get too close to parts that remind me that my body is not the way it should be. I want to no longer feel like I'm wearing someone else's skin, or speaking with a voice that sounds nothing like me. I want to no longer have to feel restraint for every single decision I make.

I want the world to see me the way I see myself.

I want to be free.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Dear Diary

Emo!Anakin Skywalker x Femme reader Oneshot

Warnings: CNC, Dom/Sub, predator/prey, rape kink, unprotected PiV, misogyny, derogatory comments, knife, bondage, gagging, blood, whipping, spanking, spitting, slapping, biting, mask kink

Info: never leave your diary unattended, he loves you so much that he’ll do anything for you, don’t question why Anakin is so good at being scary (he’s straight up terrifying)

🕊DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT 🕊 This is DARK

“Hey, you know there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.” Anakin’s soft voice floated down to where your head rested in his lap on this sleepy Sunday afternoon.

“Mmm?” You hummed, tilting your head slightly to look up at his face.

You expected to see a soft expression to match the gentle tone of voice, but you were mistaken. His lip had a sneaky little curve to it, like he had a secret that he was dying to share. He reached his long arm over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. Fishing something out and holding it up for you to see.

Your diary. It wasn’t one of his secrets. It was yours.

You squealed in protest and shot up from your resting place much too fast. After being sedentary all day long your brain had a hard time remembering what it needed to do in a high-stakes situation. After the dizzy spell settled slightly you tried and failed to snatch that horrid little book away from him.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

You should’ve known better than to keep a written record of anything, let alone your darkest secrets, with Anakin around. That handsome little shit can’t keep his dirty little paws off of your or your stuff.

“Anakin please!” You pleaded, pouting out your bottom lip.

“Shhh baby.” He laughed, flipping through the pages. “I occasionally read a few pages… just to make sure you’re happy with me of course.”

Right. Of course he would do that.

“Cause sometimes you don’t like to talk about your feelings right?” He chided.

“Yeah.” You grumbled.

“And it seems like my sweet sweet girl had some dirty thoughts since the last time I checked this book.” A sickly saccharine smile materialized on his lips

“Anakin no!” You gasped, hiding your face in embarrassment.

“Bunny, yes!” He teasingly replied.

“Look, right here it is princess. About a month ago. I took you to that new horror movie remember?”

“Yes.” You squeaked.

Anakin nodded, clearing his throat as he ran his finger under the messy scribbles in your diary.

“You said: ‘that scene where he’s chasing her through the woods and caught her? Christ that growl was sinful, but coming from Anakin? I’d be a goner. Knife and all.’”

You blushed fiery red and snatched it from his hands, tossing it to the floor defiantly despite knowing the damage had already been done.

"Anakin that is none of your business!" You pouted.

"But it is now, isn't it?" He whispered, tracing circles on your throat with his thumb.

"It’s okay darlin’ I don’t need that silly little book. I’ve memorized the good parts.” He chuckled as he spotted it on the floor.

“What else did you say? 'I want him rough, maybe even have him wear a mask like in the movie.'” He grinned gripping your cheeks to puff out your lips and give you a playful kiss.

“So I said to myself: ‘Anakin, that sounds like a challenge.’ and you know I love a challenge.”

“Anakin! You weren’t supposed to see that!” You yelped. “That’s embarrassing!”

Anakin chuckled darkly, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Oh no? I think I need to see this fantasy of yours come true."

He released your cheeks and stood up, rummaging through the closet until he found an old hockey mask that he'd worn during his youth.

"Stay here," he commanded before disappearing into the living room.

You sat and stewed in your embarrassment, thinking of all the ways you’d like to squeeze his tiny head until it popped off. How dare he? He read your diary! Ridiculous.

His voice called your name and you were snapped out of your emotional festering.

“C’mon. We got places to be.” Anakin grinned, the car keys in his hand and a small backpack slung over his shoulder.

“What?” You asked in confusion.

He wants to go somewhere now? After he’d just humiliated you in front of your entire collection of stuffed animals?

Anakin nodded, a devilish grin on his face. "We're going on an adventure, Bunny."

Oh. Oh no.

“You’re serious?�� You gasped. “like right now?”

He tossed the backpack into the backseat of his Ford pickup truck and opened the passenger door for you, waiting for you to get in. He clicked his tongue like he was calling for a dog, patting your head to scoot you along.

"Come on, baby," he urged, leaning down to kiss your cheek. "Where we're going, no one can find us."

You blushed, but obeyed regardless. You trusted him with your life and depending on how this excursion went you might just end up putting that trust to the test.

“W-we don’t have to do this Ani.” You said quietly.

“I mean… I never even- I didn’t think you’d ever find out.”

Anakin's grin faded slightly, his eyes softening as he cupped your face. "Baby, it's okay. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with," he reassured you.

"I want to make this happen for you. Plus, I think this will be fun." He added with a smirk, the sincerity in his voice reflected in the icy blue of his eyes.

He climbed into the driver's seat, starting the engine and pulling out of your driveway.

“Like you’re sure you wanna do this? Like you actually want to? Not just because you know I wanna try it?” You asked, picking at your fingers as you forced myself to make eye contact.

Anakin met your gaze, his eyes filled with an understanding for your concerns. "I want this as much as you do, Bunny," he promised.

"So let's go have some fun, shall we?" he asked, pulling out onto the highway.

You slipped your hand into his, the drive was only about 30 minutes. Even with the short distance it seemed like you were far, far away from anyone and anything. The afternoon sun was dwindling quickly over the horizon. It made you wonder if Anakin had done alittle research and a lot of planning before enacting this ambush on you.

“Look at me bunny.” Anakin said softly.

“Safe word is red okay? You say red and every thing stops immediately. Understand?”

“Yes.” You nodded giving him a little smile.

“Good.” He agreed with a kiss to your forehead. His eyes bright and sparkling with this new brand of adrenaline. “Here’s the plan.”

“Once we get out of this truck, you’re the pretty little victim and I’m the big scary killer.” He teased, though he held a serious tone behind the playful words.

“Is that okay? I won’t talk like myself, I’m gonna do my best to be mean and scary okay?”

“Yeah that’s okay,” You blushed at the thought.

“I want you to run. I’ll give you a pretty good head start. Don’t look behind you until you hit the tree line okay?” He grinned.

“Okay I can do that.” You giggled, the reality of your situation kicking in as you began to realize Anakin *had* done his research. He really did want to do this just as much as you did.

“I’ve got a mask.” He pulled out the hockey mask from his bag. “A rope, a knife, and a bandanna. Are these things okay? It’s a real knife, it’s one of the kitchen knives.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, biting your lip as you looked at him, already imagining him in character. “yeah that’s all okay.”

“Do you want me to cut you?” He asked, staring you in the eyes.

“M-maybe alittle.” You nodded, your expression turned serious again. “just not where anyone else can see okay?”

“Got it babydoll. I promise.” He said gently.

“Okay.” You smiled, nervous but so so excited.

“I’m gonna put my hair up.” You giggled. Tying your hair up in a ponytail.

Anakin watched you, a mix of excitement and protectiveness in his eyes. "You look so fucking hot," he muttered, his voice low and rough.

"Alright, princess," he said, his voice now deep and menacing. He grabbed the hockey mask, and held it in your direction to point at you.

"Get out of the truck and run as fast as you can. Don't look back until you reach the tree line." He paused, reaching for the knife, sheathing it on his hip. Shoving the rope in his hoodie pocket, the bandanna in his jeans pocket.

"Remember, red means stop. Whatever happens from here on out, I'll make sure you're safe."

You watched him put the mask on, heart pounding in your chest as you unbuckled your seatbelt and stepped out of the truck into the cooling dusk air. Anakin got out of the truck on his side, looking over at you and nodding his head.

“Run.” He snarled, his features completely hidden by the mask and distorting his voice a bit more than you’d anticipated.

Your only light source was the setting sun and rising moon as you booked it through the field, keeping your eyes forward as your heart beat quickly. You reached the tree line and finally looked back, seeing Anakin running at a full sprint toward you. The prey instinct in your hindbrain kicked into overdrive and adrenaline flooded like ice through your veins.

You froze for a moment until you heard what could only be described as a psychotic laugh ripped through Anakin’s chest. Finally back to your senses you turned on your toes and started running again, only to be tripped by your own feet.

You steadied yourself quickly and recovered your pace after a sharp squeal left you when your knees hit the ground. Your burst of fear driven speed surprised you, but only fueled Anakin’s laughter. You weren’t sure if he was laughing as himself or as the character he was playing, either way… it was terrifying.

You made the mistake of looking back again and realized how quickly he was gaining on you. He had given you a generous headstart for a good reason. Like he’d anticipated you’d fawn instead of flee.

How did he know that?

Anakin was closing the gap, his breath heavy but not labored as he chased after you. You wondered what his eyes looked like behind that mask. Would they be familiar? Or would they be akin to a cold blooded killer?

You stumbled as you whipped your head back to the path ahead and he lunged forward, wrapping his arm around your chest and tackling you to the ground with a heavy thump.

The mask hid his grin as he pinned you down with his body weight, but you could * feel * it. The satisfaction he felt at catching his trophy was palpable, now… now you weren’t completely certain your Anakin was really there behind that hard plastic mask.

"Caught you bitch." He growled, his voice remained menacing. "You're mine now."

You struggled against him, the sides of your fists not even coming close to making contact with his chest. His grip on you was painful, bruising and just what you wanted.

“N-no!” You whimpered. So incredibly turned on by his aggression.

He was surprisingly great at this role, he was doing everything perfectly as if he’d done it before. A nagging thought tickled your mind, what if? But he gave you no time to consider it.

“No?” He laughed, rolling you underneath him so that your face was pressed into the forest floor. His knee pressing down on your back as he roughly tied your arms together behind your back with a practiced ease.

“No! Please!” He mocked you in a whiny impression of your voice.

“Pathetic.” He hissed.

You fought harder, wriggling and trying to get out of his grasp. His hand gripped your ponytail with enough force to make your scalp sting, yanking your head back.

“Stop fucking moving.” He growled as brought his lips to your ear, then he let go of your hair cruelly letting you face plant into the dirt.

“Ow!” You whined in pain, it actually did hurt. Not bad, just enough to make you see stars and feel heat bloom across your cheek.

“P-please! Stop!”

He laughed, the sound gritty and almost unrecognizable. He used both hands to roughly tug your jeans down your thighs, using the knife to cut your underwear off.

You wriggled and squirmed, panting helplessly as all your movement did was undress you further. Your jeans bunched around your knees, leaving you exposed and vulnerable to whatever he had planned for you.

Anakin's breaths were ragged, his heart pounding in sync with yours as he stood over you. Lightly tapping your hip with the toe of his shoe.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch," He snarled. "You made me work for it."

He took the knife, running it down your side, as he kneeled beside you. Forcibly turning your head to make you look at him. He trailed the knife along the back of your thighs, leaving tiny threads of red behind.

"Now you're gonna pay for your insolence." His voice was harsh and cold with an undeniable lust hidden beneath.

“No! No I’ll do anything I swear!” You cried out. Kicking and fighting against him as best as you could.

You heard him taking off his belt, felt him shoving his jeans down and even the familiar grunt as he pulled out his cock.

“I told you to shut your fucking mouth didn’t I?” He snapped at you.

Gripping his belt tightly in his hands he cracked the leather across your ass hard, causing you to scream out in pain.

“Stupid whore.” He scoffed. “what did I just say? You want it again?”

“N-no! Fuck that hurt!” You yelled.

“God you really are stupid aren’t you?” He laughed, cracking the leather down on your red ass cheeks again.

This time you were able to bite down on your lip and suppress the loud crying moan that tried to escape. You knew the tender flesh of your bottom lip would definitely be an angry red for the next few days as a taste of blood hit your tongue.

“That’s better.” He scoffed.

Pumping his cock a few times behind you before spreading your ass cheeks wide and smacking your hip hard to get you to lift up just a bit.

He set his sights on your incredibly drenched pussy. The view might make a weaker man cum on the spot, but Anakin wasn’t a weak man. He’d made that very clear today.

“Never seen you so fucking wet.” He whispered, in awe of the dripping mess you’d made of your cunt. The momentary break of character that you weren’t supposed to hear reassured you that it was definitely still Anakin under that mask.

Anakin's cock twitched, his eyes locked on your pulsing hole, watching it flutter around nothing. He chuckled and spit on his hand before rubbing it on the head of his cock. Letting out a low groan as he tugged on his balls for good measure.

"You're going to take this like a good little slut," He growled, lining up his thickness with your entrance. "And you're not going to fucking scream."

With a low hiss he thrust into you, your body protesting the sudden intrusion with a jerk. You failed to listen to his command and let out a muffled cry behind closed lips as he sank deep inside your heat.

"Quiet, bitch," he warned, pulling back and thrusting again, setting a rough rhythm. "Or I'll really give you somethin’ to cry about.”

You couldn’t help yourself, you whimpered and moaned and drooled in spite of his warnings. The feeling of being taken so roughly, but knowing you were safe… was intoxicating. It was unlike anything you’d ever felt.

Anakin moved suddenly and you saw a flash of red before he yanked back your head, shoving the bandanna in your mouth to use as a gag.

You coughed and gagged on the dry fabric as he forced it in your mouth. Anakin's thrusts became more frantic, his hips moving in quick, hard strokes. With the gag in place you let yourself be loud, there was no point in staying quiet right? If you were heard it would be * his * fault for not properly securing your gag.

"Dirty little thing aren’t you? Filthy. You like this don’t you!? Huh?" He snarled, slapping your ass hard with his free hand. "Scream for me, you fucking whore. No body can hear you. No body is coming to help you."

You moaned into the gag, body trembling as he pounded into you relentlessly. Each slap of skin against wetness echoed in the still night air, punctuating your defilement.

"C’mon, you can fight harder than that." He growled, grinding against you he placed one hand on your lower back and used it as leverage to hold you in place.

He laughed loudly, clearly enjoying the power trip he was on. He’d never fucked you like this before, he’d been rough yes… but this? This was blinding. Hot, white, blinding pleasure that spilled over into pain.

“So fucking tight.” He groaned. “pitiful little pussy. Bet you were a virgin weren’t you?”

You whimpered, the bandanna in your mouth wet from saliva. Tears dripping down your cheeks from his rough treatment. Your legs shaking violently as he fucked you into the dirt.

And he expected you to speak?

“Answer me.” He demanded, ripping the fabric from your mouth, the suddenness of it being pulled from your throat made you gag violently.

“C’mon. Talk to me. You’ve been dying to fucking talk and now you’ve got nothin’ to say?”

“Y-yes.” You sobbed, unable to form more than a few words. “Virgin.”

“Oh I knew it. Fuckin’ knew it.” He groaned.

Anakin's thrusts grew more furious, his cock sliding in and out of your tight ‘virgin’ pussy with each word grunt and groan that fell from his pretty lips. His hand gripped your hair, pulling your head back when you started squirming out from under him again.

"You think you can get away from me? Think you can run? You’re mine now, bitch." He spat, slapping the side of your face. "I own your little cunt now."

You cried harder from the pain, tears streaming down your dirt streaked face as he continued to pound into you without mercy.

"No one else is gonna touch you. No one else is gonna have you." He growled, his words thick with possession.

“Gonna take you home. Tie you up.” He grunted. “Fuck you whenever I want.”

“No one’s gonna miss you are they?” He laughed, “Just a worthless little nobody aren’t you? Yeah, you are.”

“That’s okay though sweetheart.” He cooed, sweetness laced with venom. “I want you. I want you all to myself, show you that all you’re good for is this.”

He spit, ripping his mask off to bite you hard, leaving clear teeth marks on your shoulder. The mask hit the ground near your head and you stared at it with big wide red-rimmed eyes as a violent orgasm ripped through you. Your cunt spasmed around him, slick leaking out and coating your thighs.

The squelching noises filled you with a new wave of embarrassment and fresh tears wetted your cheeks. You might’ve been done, but Anakin wasn’t. He had no plans of stopping now, this wasn’t over until he said it was.

“Stop! Please oh god.” You whined, scrunching your nose up as your body vibrated from the overstimulation.

“Stop? Oh you don’t mean that.” He moaned. “you just fucking creamed all over my cock.”

“Don’t lie to me. You know you like it.” He snickered, you could hear the grin gracing his lips.

“No! No! Please! I don’t!” You struggled, trying to get out of your bindings, the rope digging further into your wrists. “Please stop!”

“Fuck toys don’t talk.” He growled.

Anakin shifted his weight, now leaning with his forearm across your back, his sharp elbow cutting into the muscle to give himself an extra edge to his brutality. You thought he was comfortable in his position, but you were wrong. This was just a transition period.

His arm slid up your back to wrap your hair around his fist, exposing your neck and pining you in place.

A glint of sliver shined in your peripheral, followed by the cool metal blade of his knife on the soft skin of your throat. He had the flat side pressed firmly beneath your Adam’s apple. Anakin's thrusts grew more frantic, his cock sliding in and out of your tight, weeping pussy as he held the knife.

"One word," he growled, his eyes dark with lust and dominance. "And you’ll wish you were dead."

You whimpered, body shaking as you struggled against my bindings. Your cunt clenched around him, milking his cock with each powerful thrust.

"Make me cum, bitch." He snarled, his breathing labored. "Or I’ll slit your fucking throat right here."

His words sent a jolt of electricity through you. This was sick, you were sick. How could you possibly like this? Being threatened with a knife against your throat? You didn’t know, didn’t understand and maybe didn’t even want to. Maybe the logistics behind the thrill of this was better off unexplored. You decided then and there you would never let yourself explore that nagging little ‘what if’ about Anakin too.

His grip on the knife tightened, his thrusts becoming harder with each passing second. You controlled your breathing as best you could. Trying desperately not to move as another orgasm washed over your tired body. Your entire being vibrating with the intense energy, cunt spasming around his twitching member, leaking and dripping slick all over again.

“That's it," Anakin growled, his hips moving faster and harder, growing sloppy. His breathing ragged as he felt himself nearing the finish line. "C’mon, make me fucking cum and I’ll let you live."

"You're gonna say thank you after I cum. You hear me?" He snarled, biting the nape of your neck roughly like a dog in heat.

His balls tightened up, his cock pulsating inside you. Your pussy tightly enveloping him, feeling every twitch and jerk.

You squeaked as the cool blade dragged across your throat in a way that felt alittle too real, a little to close to being sliced open. Though you breathed a sigh of relief as the knife now pressed into your shoulder blade. The sharp tip popping through your skin.

“Gonna put a little ‘A’ right here. You want that? Answer me!” He asked through clenched teeth, staving off his orgasm in favor of torturing you.

“No! Please it hurts!” You screamed, the pain bringing you so incredibly close to cumming again.

He let out a familiar whine, followed by a choked moan as he carved the first letter of his name into your unblemished shoulder.

“You should’ve kept still. Now it’s crooked.” He scoffed.

You screamed out in pleasure, hiccuping as you tried to catch your breath. Anakin’s cock throbbing inside your abused walls. You whimpered as an overwhelming orgasm took hold of you. Your body convulsing in a way it never had before, with Anakin never slowing his hard albeit mess pace. He laughed as he watched your bound hands clasp themselves together as you held your breath.

The dam broke and you squirted, making a mess of yourself and him. You could feel the hot wet liquid dripping down your legs, hear it sloshing and squelching with each thrust.

Anakin’s laugh cut off into a choked groan, his cock jerking violently inside you as he came. His thrusts becoming wild and erratic, his body shaking with the force of his release.

"Fuck," he growled, collapsing against you as he finished. "You're a fucking mess, aren’t you?"

You sobbed into the dirt, body still trembling from the intense orgasm. Your pussy clenching around his softening cock, milking him for every last drop of cum.

"That’s right. Good girl.” He moaned, slowly pumping in and out of your swollen and well used cunt.

“Atta girl. You’re a good fuck so long as you keep your mouth shut.” Anakin let out a pained whine as he pulled out of you, leaving your pussy gaping and filled with his seed.

He cut the rope from your wrists and hissed when he saw the red marks. He broke character again for the simple fact that he felt terribly about accidentally hurting you. It was one thing to do it purposely, but this was unacceptable, he chided himself for tying you too tightly under his breath. He leaned down to kiss each wrist gently before tapping your ass with his hand.

“Get up. All fours.” He growled. Back to playing your big scary killer.

You sniffled, doing as he said as quickly as you could even though your body felt weak and jittery.

“Fuck.” He groaned spreading your ass cheeks apart, his thumbs keeping your pussy lips spread so that he could see his hard work; the mess he’d made of you.

He dove into your slick, reddened folds. His tongue laving and sucking your clit. He moaned and whined like he was the one getting pleasured. He shoved his tongue into your hot, raw hole and licked his cum out of you, mumbling dirty words with each breath.

"You taste so fucking good." He groaned, his voice muffled. "So wet and fuckin’ messy. I love it."

You whimpered, his tongue darting in and out of your still-throbbing cunt, tasting the evidence of your rough sex.

"You’re gonna be mine forever." He growled, his words slurred with lust. "No one else is ever gonna touch you again."

His fingers found your entrance, teasingly playing with it before sliding inside, stretching you open again. Your body trembled, pussy clenching around him in protest of his reentry. He leaned forward licking the trickles of blood from your shoulder and gathering it in his mouth. He sat back on his heels and then spit the mixture of his cum, his spit and your blood into your pussy, gently shoving it inside with his fingers.

The act was filthy. Disgusting. But so fucking hot, so sexy, so much so that your pussy contracted around his fingers again. Alittle bit of squirt dribbling out as your body shook. Anakin's eyes darkened as he felt you clench around his fingers once again.

"Fuck." He grumbled, hid grip on your hips tightening. "You’re gonna cum again, aren’t you?"

You sobbed, body trembling with the impending orgasm or maybe just from the humiliation. Who knows? At this point you couldn’t tell left from right.

"You just want to get used and ruined, don’t you?" He growled, his fingers thrusting in and out of you. "So fucking ready for it. So desperate for a cock like mine to take care of you."

His words sent you over the edge, body shaking as you came yet again. Your pussy fluttering around his fingers, dribbles of liquid leaking down his hand.

“N-no more.” You whimper, begging for a break.

“Oh poor thing.” He laughed. “it just feels so good that it hurts huh?”

“Y-yes.” You cried, sniffling. Your arms weak and wobbly.

“You’ll get used to it.” He said pulling out his fingers and roughly smacking your pussy with his hand.

You screamed, a choked whimpering sob. You were beyond sensitive, you could feel how swollen you were. But even through the pain, a jolt of pure pleasure shot through your core.

“Get up.” He growled, tucking himself back into his jeans, pulling you to your feet by the hair.

He shoved you against a tree and barked out the instruction for you to stay there. He picked up the knife and bandanna, kicking the ruined rope aside and shoving the ripped panties in his pocket. He grabbed his belt and cracked it against your ass hard one last time before putting his belt back on.

“You didn’t say thank you.” He reminded you.

“Say thank you. Ungrateful bitch.”

M’sorry!” You whimpered. “th-thank you. Thank you.”

“That’s better.” He grunted, yanking your jeans back up and leaving them unbuttoned. The fabric wet and sticky from all the abuse.

“Turn around. Can’t leave those gorgeous tits without any attention right?” He chuckled darkly.

He grabbed your chin examining your face when you slowly turned around. His other hand pulling up your shirt.

“Still pretty. Even after all that.” He said softly a small glimpse at your Anakin, not this brutal character he played. But it was gone quicker than you could blink.

"Beautiful." Anakin murmured, his eyes lingering on your tits before he leaned in to lick and kiss each one. "You’re gonna be so pretty covered in bruises, huh?"

Your breath hitched, nipples pebbling as he sucked and licked at them. His hands cupping and squeezing your breasts roughly, leaving red marks on the soft skin.

He bit down and pulled your nipples with his teeth causing you to yelp in pain. Eliciting a dark laugh from him.

“C’mon,” He grumbled. “let’s get going. I’ve got plans for my new whore.”

He grabbed the back of your neck and shoved you forward, making you stumble and almost trip. You stayed silent other than your sniffling and wiping your nose and eyes as you walked on jelly legs.

"Don't think you're done." Anakin growled, his grip on your neck tightening as you walked. "I’ll never be done with you."

His free hand grabbed your ass, squeezing it roughly before letting go. His eyes never leaving the path ahead.

"You owe me. You know that? A lifetime of obedience and gratitude." He laughed, pushing your forward again. “I could’ve killed you and I didn’t. That’s called a life debt baby.”

You nodded, seeing the truck in the field and breathing a sigh of relief knowing you wouldn’t have to walk much further.

“Almost there.” He said plainly.

Once you reached the truck he opened the door and helped you inside gently. Giving you a soft kiss on the cheek.

He walked around to his side and shoved the items along with his hockey mask down inside the bag. Tossing it to the floor board as he climbed in beside you, pulling you against his chest in a comforting, soothing hug. You sighed, leaning into him. His warmth and closeness comforting you.

"Good girl." Anakin whispered into your hair, his voice softening. He kissed the top of your head gently. "You did so good. I love you doll. I love you so so much."

"Hang tight, baby. We’ll get you cleaned up and back home soon enough." He murmured, his hand resting on your thigh reassuringly.

You gripped his shirt, there was something thrilling about his possessiveness, his control over you. “I love you too Ani.” You whispered, voice shaky.

Once the short drive was over he helped you out of his truck, turning around and leaning forward to give you a piggy back ride to the house.

You sighed thankfully and climbed up. Hugging around his neck and inhaling his comforting scent. Nuzzling into his neck as he carried you into your home. Locking the front door behind him. He softly sat you on the couch, giving you a gentle forehead kiss.

Wordlessly he went to the kitchen and got himself and you a glass of water. Placing the cup in your shaking hands, making sure you drank some before he chugged down his.*

“You okay babydoll?” He asked, pulling you into his lap. “that was pretty intense.”

“I-I’m okay.” You nodded. “y-yeah it w-was intense.”

You gave him a soft smile. “It was fun though… I’m just gonna be really, really sore.”

"You’re so fucking precious.” He murmured, nuzzling your neck. "All worn out and sore, but still smiling at me."

"We'll take it slow next time, okay?" He whispered in your ear, kissing your temple softly. "You tell me when you’re ready for sex again baby. I’m not gonna ask until you come to me.”

You nodded, sighing contentedly. Your head resting against his chest as he held you close, breathing slowly returning to normal.

“Are you glad I read your diary now?”

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate

@burnthecheshirewitch@cherrylooney@star611

@tahliac11 @exquisit3corpse @jeldog @arzua10

@bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay

@aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn

@illiethefairy @bunnylovesani @offthethir/wall

@slutforhayden @ausskywalker @angelsadmired

@slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie

@starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @no1klet @lethargic

@allhailbuckybarnes @shadowhuntyi

@bobtheturmpetman29 @mortalheartache

@fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot

@joshfutturmansrighthand @chaoticantihero

@vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee

@sweetcheesecakesblog@rga11 @luvskywxlker

@angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled

@graveyard-stray

Let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the tag list

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

skz catching you reading fan fiction

pairing: idol ot8 x reader

wc: ~5.4k

warnings: lots of reader being embarrassed obv. pet names, hyunjin’s is a tiny bit angsty (sorry), a very brief joking mention of dying in seungmin’s

an: some of the fanfictions mentioned in this are mine and have been linked. others i just made up. 💕

masterlist

⋆｡‧˚chan˚‧｡⋆

“Come here. Across my lap, princess.” He ordered.

‘oh this is getting good’ you said quietly to yourself. you were in bed, cuddled up under the covers, the only light coming from the screen of your phone. your eyes flashed across the page quickly, needing to find out what happens next. it had clicked in your brain earlier today that there could quite possibly be fan fiction about your boyfriend floating around on the internet somewhere. you were aware of his fame. but that’s not why you’re with him, even though that’s how you met him. you had been together for a while now, and you cursed yourself for not thinking of this sooner. of course there’s fan fiction about him. and even though it makes you cringe in a way, you couldn’t stop yourself from immediately searching for it as soon as you got home. chan is still at the company, always working the long hours, so you were unsure when he would be home. but you assumed it would be late. so you allowed yourself to get lost in the world of stray kids tumblr. you had read a few already, but this one, this one was spicy. you could feel that familiar throb in between your legs.

“Honey..” He said in a surprised tone. “You’re so wet.” He ran his middle finger up your slit, playing in your wetness. He gently prodded your entrance. You moaned quietly against his thigh. “Only a couple more.” He said, then he spanked you again.

you squeezed your thighs together, briefly thinking of grabbing that buzzing friend from the top drawer of your nightstand. but before you could do so, the bedroom door opens. a tired chan enters, setting his bag down. you let out a gasp and clutch your phone against your chest as he looks up at you, suspicion on his face.

"whatcha doin, baby?" he asks.

"uh.. no-nothing." you stammer back. real smooth.

"why are you hiding your phone from me?" he looks a little concerned now as he sits on the bed next to you. he didn’t want to let himself think that you may be romantically talking to someone else. but he couldnt help it. you could read his feelings all over his face. and as embarrassing as it was, you couldnt bare for him to think you were cheating. it’s best that you just tell him the truth.

"i.. i might have been reading a story.. about you. written by a stay." you say, unable to look at him. you stared at the outlet on the wall across from the end of the bed.

he laughed. "fan fiction?!" he exclaimed, laughing even more. your face turned a bright red. "show me. let me see." he said, reaching for your phone.

you held it tighter to your chest. "no!" you argue, pulling away from him.

"cmon baby. let me seeeee." he whined, reaching for your phone again. you held it out of his reach, so he used his not so secret weapon. he started tickling your sides. you immediately screamed in pained laughter and folded your body in on itself and toward him, trying to detach his hands from your skin. he let go, grabbing the phone, and jumping off the bed. he ran to the corner of the room and you sat up on your knees on the bed. you didn’t move any closer, having realized your defeat.

"Good girl baby, suck daddy’s cock, choke on it, you can do it, take it all, that’s my girl…?" he read aloud. his sentence ending in a question, not having thought that the fan fiction you would be reading would be smut. the tips of his ears turned slightly pink, and you covered your face with your hands before he could look at you. "you’re reading a fan fiction called ‘his good girl, always’?" he asked, slightly stunned. but you could hear the amusement returning to his voice. "what does dom daddy chan mean?"

you groaned. "is this what you fantasize about, baby?" he asked but you couldn’t answer him. "look at me, honey."

you shook your head no, still covering your face with your hands. "i said look at me, princess. cmon, be a good girl." an involuntary whimper escaped your lips at that, and you slowly peeked at him over the tips of your fingers. a smirk was on his face, one dimple poking out, his eyes dark with lust. "let’s finish reading this, yeah?"

⋆｡‧˚minho˚‧｡⋆

“hey min?” you called. an answering grunt came from the other room. “could you pass me my phone? soonie is sleeping on my lap.”

you were sure he heard you. you could hear him get up from his desk and walk to the nightstand to get your phone. but that had been a couple minutes ago. what was taking him so long?

"minho?" you called again. he slowly shuffled into the living room, your phone in his hand, his face pointed at the screen. there was a smirk on his face.

oh shit.

you remembered what you had been doing on your phone last. you were sure you fell asleep earlier with tumblr open to the story you were currently reading. you enjoyed reading fan fiction about your boyfriend, though you never wanted to admit that to him. you felt like you might not have a choice in the matter now. you had been caught. he stopped a few feet away from you, still scrolling, his eyes moving back and forth as he read. the smirk on his face only grew as he continued to skim the page.

"min, give me my phone please." you said quietly. he held a finger up, shushing you.

"My cock drunk little slut, takes my cock so good." he read from the screen. "is this what you’re always reading on your phone?" minho asked, finally looking up at you.

you buried your head in your hands, scaring the cat off you lap. "i didn’t know you liked to read fan fiction about me. you have the real me, you know?" he said. "why am i always calling the reader kitten? is that a thing that stay thinks i like?"

you groaned. you could feel him come closer, until he was standing right in front of you. he dropped your phone onto the couch next to you, you could feel it bounce on the cushion. "hello?" he asked. you still couldn’t look at him. your face burned with embarrassment. your whole body burned with embarrassment. he wrapped his hands gently around your wrists and tugged. you let him pull your hands away from your face. he let go of your wrists and then used his fingers to tilt your chin up, so you were facing him. he was grinning, and you couldn’t help but notice the veins running up and down his arms. his arms never failed to make you a mess for him. "is that what you want? for me to call you kitten?" you tried to look away from him, but his grip tightened on your chin. "ah ah." he scolded. "answer me."

"i- it’s- um.. it’s something that i’ve thought about.." you admit. his thumb moved to gently stroke your cheek.

"you should have just told me that." he says, sweetly. "you want me to manhandle you too, like in that story? want me to use toys and eat my cum from your pussy?" his thumb has made its way to your lips now. gently rubbing back and forth before pressing into your mouth. you wrapped your lips around the digit, running your tongue around it.

"mmhmm" you mumbled around his finger.

"i think that can be arranged.. kitten." he purred.

⋆｡‧˚changbin˚‧｡⋆

you were sat in the corner of the room, butt on this hard ass wooden bench, swallowed by your boyfriends hoodie, face buried in your phone. changbin had begged for you to go to the gym with him today, and so you agreed. he’s so cute when he pouts and puffs his little cheeks out. but you had no intention of working out with him. you just said you would come. so he’s working out while you watch from the sidelines. and oh boy you could watch him work out for hours. he was currently doing the bench press? bench pressing? he was laying down on the bench thingy and pushing up on the bar thingy with the heavy thingies on the ends. chan was spotting him but changbin didn’t need it. he was all sweaty and yummy. so buff. were you drooling? see this is why you were looking so intently at your phone. if you watched him work out for too long, you got all soft and gooey and you didn’t want that. but looking at your phone wasn’t helping either. in fact, tumblr may be making your situation worse. but you couldn’t look away. not when there was a detailed fan fiction in front of you about your boyfriend. you were just reading it at first because it interested you. you know, for science. did they describe him correctly? did they get his size right? you were surprised to find out that the stories were actually pretty accurate. so then you kept reading. and now your 8 thousand words deep in a slow burn smut fic about him and you just so happened to get to the good part while you were in the gym with him. fuck. your body started getting hot. you stretched and removed your hoodie from your body. you kept scrolling, the content getting spicier and spicier. he was doing what with his tongue? holy shit why hasn’t he ever done that to you in real life?

"are you hot baby?" his voice pulled you from your fantasy land and startled a jump out of you.

"ah!" you exclaimed. you held your phone close to your chest, your cheeks burning up and flushing red. he was standing in front of you, sweaty. his black muscle shirt sticking to his body. he wiped the sweat from his face with a small white towel. your mouth filled with saliva at the sight of him. you forcibly swallowed before answering him. "uh.. yeah i got a little warm." you tell him.

"are you okay? you seem a little flustered." he sits down next to you on the bench. he chuckles to himself. "you know, you’re acting like you usually do when i’m teasing you."

your face and body were on fire. you looked down at the floor, at the wall, anywhere but at changbin. your silence must have been loud.

"baby?" he reaches for your arm. you flinch at the contact, not out of fear, but out of desire. you were in the gym and you were so embarrassed. you couldn’t have him touch you at all, not even on the arm. your phone clattered to the floor, having lost your grip when you flinched. you immediately reached for it, but changbin beat you to it. and of course, just your luck, he glances at the screen as he hands it back to you. "what’s this baby? what’re you reading?" he skims the page some more. "those are some naughty words.." he says, quieter this time. you try to take the phone from him but he moves it out of your reach, continuing to read. "this is about me?" he says a little too loud.

"bin, give me my phone back please." you say, reaching for it. he hands it over.

"sure baby. i didn’t know you liked to read fan fiction about me." he was smirking at you. clearly poking fun. "and it was dirty fan fiction too. baby. i didn’t know you were so naughty." he chuckles.

"binnie.. please don’t. i’m flustered enough as it is."

"was the story that good?" he asks, serious now.

you nod. "it’s pretty good, yeah. and we’re here in the gym and you’re all sweaty and muscly and i’m about to loose it, bin."

he outright laughs now. "okay baby. let’s get you home and you can tell me about your story." he stands and takes your hand, leading you out to the car.

⋆｡‧˚hyunjin˚‧｡⋆

"You are so beautiful, baby.” He said, stroking your cheek. “Such a pretty girl, about to suck her daddys cock.” You could feel your panties getting wet. “Open.” He ordered.

you absentmindedly rubbed your thighs together, trying to get any friction you could, so absorbed in the story you currently had open. you were in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, your elbows on the countertop. you eyes were glued to the screen. you were in the kitchen to make some dinner. you were hungry and you knew hyunjin would be home soon and probably would want something to eat as well. but now your hunger for food was long forgotten as a hunger for something else took over your mind. you didn’t even hear hyunjin put his key in the lock and open the door. he kicked his shoes off and dropped his bag, but you had no idea. one hand was against your mouth, the other hand had a death grip on your phone, thumb scrolling away at the text. hyunjin approached from behind, a little entertained that you hadn’t noticed him, and curious about what has you so focused. he peeks over your shoulder to glance at your phone.

The image of him above you may as well have been holy. It was holy to you. He was a god, and you worshipped him as such. “Fuuuck, baby.” He moaned, breathlessly.

he slowly wrapped his arms around your waist, scaring the daylights out of you. you jumped, dropping your phone, it clatters noisily onto the counter.

"what are you reading, angel?" he asks softly against your neck. he places a small kiss there.

"nothing." you lie quickly.

"didn’t seem like nothing." he hummed against your skin. "seemed kinda dirty. can i see?" he reaches around you for your phone and you don’t stop him. you know that you will never win an argument against hwang hyunjin. his long fingers close around the device, and he stands straight as he brings it to his face to look. you straighten as well, but you don’t turn to face him. you don’t want to see the look on his face when he sees what you’ve been reading.

"are you reading smut about me?" he asks. when you don’t answer, out of embarrassment, he gently grabs your shoulder and turns you around. "is this fan fiction?" you slowly nod your head, not looking at him, trying to understand his tone. he sounded upset.

"are you unhappy with our relationship?" he asks. that startles you to attention. you look up at him, his eyes filled with sadness.

"what? no, jinnie. absolutely not."

"then why are you reading this, if not to get something that you crave?" he argues. "am i not fulfilling your needs?"

"no. you are. i just—"

"i don’t understand why you would need to read this, unless you’re unhappy with me." he cuts you off. "especially smut. if i’m not satisfying you sexually, then we need to talk about that."

"that’s not it." you tell him. "i started reading it while you were away on tour because i missed you so badly. and some of it is actually.. good. so now, when i miss you and want to picture different scenarios about you, i’ll read some. i promise it has nothing to do with our relationship. it’s just fun to read what stay writes about you. and that one i was reading just now.. is pretty hot.." your cheeks flush. "i was actually going to bring it up with you to see if maybe you wanted to try something like that.." you look down at your hands, twirling your fingers together.

"you promise? if there’s something wrong, i can’t fix it unless you tell me about it." he says, holding you by the shoulders.

"i promise."

he’s smiling down at you now. "well then i guess let’s see what you’ve been reading. i saw you rubbing your thighs together, it must have been good to get you all hot and bothered like that." he starts reading the screen again. his smile grew the more he read. "so.. the part that you like.. is it the face fucking? or the daddy/princess dynamics?" he asks, seriously. but you feel it straight in your core. your panties sticking to your skin.

"i kinda like all of it.." you say quietly.

he sets the phone back down on the counter and brings his hand up to stroke your cheek. you noticed he was still a little sweaty from practice, and that only made you wetter. he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your mouth, his lips so plump and soft. he pulls away only an inch or so and then says against your lips, "well then get on your knees, princess."

⋆｡‧˚jisung‧｡⋆

"hey sungie, could you grab my phone?" you ask, just getting out of the shower, wrapping the towel around your torso and reaching for your comb.

"sure." he pauses whatever game he was playing and gets up to retrieve your phone from the bed for you. when he grabs it, he looks at the text filled screen. it only takes a moment for him to read the words.

‘that’s it baby, you like it when i ride your cock like this?’ ‘yes mommy.’

he felt his cock twitch in his pants, and his ears flame with heat at the same time. he drops the phone back on the bed and turns around and leaves the room immediately without saying anything to you.

"sungie?" you look after him, worriedly. you drop your comb and follow him into the living room. he’s pacing back and forth in front of the couch, biting on his thumb nail. "what’s wrong?" you ask. he doesn’t answer you. he just keeps pacing back and forth. you wonder what the heck has gotten into him. you return to your bedroom and grab your phone from where it was laying on the cover. you look at the screen. that fan fiction you had been reading was still open. oh no. was he freaked out that you were reading this? you’d never told him about it because you thought it might freak him out, and maybe you were right. you returned to the living room. han was sitting on the edge of the couch now, a blank stare on his face, his mind a million miles away.

"did you read what was on my phone?" you ask him.

he looks up at you, startled. "uh yeah, i did. i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to read it, it was just open and a couple words jumped out at me and i couldn’t help but read them but i promise i wasn’t trying to spy on you or anything it was an accident, i-" he was rambling.

"sungie, it’s okay." you cut him off. i don’t mind that you looked at it. i have nothing to hide. especially from you." you smile at him.

he looks back down at his hands, silent yet again.

"did you want to talk about it?" you asked. "do you have any questions?" you walked over and sat next to him on the couch. he leaned back, throwing his head over the back of the couch dramatically, his eyes shut. you noticed his hands were covering the tent in his pants. so he must have liked what he read you thought.

"it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it right now. i can go back to the bathroom and we can talk about it after you’ve had time to think." you move to stand from the couch but han grabs your wrist. you look at him, his eyes wide.

"you were reading fan fiction about me?" he asked quietly. you nodded at him. "and you like to read that stuff?"

"i do." you answer him. "is that okay with you?"

he nods slowly, still thinking pretty hard about something.

"what do you like about them?" he asks.

"i just like to imagine different scenarios about you. especially when you’re gone on tour and i miss you. but i must admit, i’m pretty partial to subby jisung." you tell him, smirking. you loved to tease him. his face flushed a bright pink at your words.

"what’s subby jisung like?"

"well," you start, placing your hand on his thigh. "subby jisung is very needy, and whiny. he just can’t help it, he wants the reader so bad."

he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, trying to adjust his pants discreetly, but he fails.

"do you like the thought of that?" you tease. "did you like what you saw? the reader in that story was riding subby jisung as he begged. is that what’s got you hard?"

he shook his head no.

"then what was it?" you ask. he removes his hands from his front, fully exposing his erection to you, only hidden by his sweatpants. he makes grabby hands at you, and you smile. you stand up from the couch and drop your towel to the floor, fully naked in front of him. "what do you want, sungie? what did you read that you liked so much?"

"mommy.." he said quietly.

"what was that?" you say, teasing him some more. you loved it when he got like this. all soft and shy. you leaned down and grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants, clinging tightly to his small waist. you tugged them down and off him completely, his cock standing at attention.

"mommy.." he said a little louder. "please.."

"please what?"

"ride me, mommy. please." he begged. and how could you say no to that?

⋆｡‧˚felix‧｡⋆

you were both on the couch, facing each other, your legs tangled together. felix was playing a game on his switch and you were scrolling tumblr. it didn’t take long after you found the fic for you to start rubbing your thighs together. you “accidentally” brushed your foot against felix’s pants.

“hey angel, be careful where you’re kicking.” he giggles, never taking his eyes off the screen.

“sorry lixie.” you say softly, trying to hide the neediness in your voice. apparently you failed, because felix put his game down and looked up at you.

“what’s the matter, flower?”

you just shake your head no, still staring down at your phone.

“did you watch that maniac fan cam of me again? baby i know you like the ending fairy but im literally sitting right here. i couldn’t even perform because i was injured.”

that makes you smile a little. you do really love that performance. it’s his smile at the end. but no, you were wet from something else this time. “no, that’s not it.” you tell him.

“then what?”

you just shyly hold out your phone to him. he gently takes it from you and skims the words on the screen quickly. “oh. fan fiction? i’ve read this one actually. it’s pretty good but i wouldn’t say it’s my favorite one.”

you look at him, shocked. “you’ve read that one?”

“yeah i think changbin and i read this one together actually.” he laughs. “i try to stay away from the smut, because it’s a little weird to read that about yourself you know? but occasionally one will pop up and i’ll look it over.” he hands the phone back to you.

“pop up? pop up where?” you’re still shocked, mouth hanging open.

“on my tumblr.” he says matter of factly. “my favorite ones are the fake text ones. the unhinged ones where im sending funny memes.” he’s laughing again and you’re just looking at him. his beautiful face and you’re just in awe of him. of course this man would read his own fan fiction. he’s chronically online. “so.. are you going to tell me what you read that got you all bothered?”

“uh.. i just thought it was hot.. you know?” you say quietly, unable to meet his gaze.

“you like the thought of sucking me off while im playing games online? isn’t that what that one is about?”

you nod slowly.

“you just like the idea of sucking me off? or is it the thought of han or jeongin hearing you on the other side?”

you groan, grinding your hips into nothing. “lixie..” you whine.

“what, angel? i’m just trying to understand you.” he teases. he moves to climb on top of you, your back against the couch cushions, him hovering above you, caging your head with his arms. “do you want to talk about it some more?” he leans in closer. “or do you want to maybe act out your favorite fan fiction with me?” he places a gentle kiss on your lips and you’re lost. nothing exists but him.

⋆｡‧˚seungmin˚‧｡⋆

what choices had you made in life to bring you to this point? alone, in bed, one hand in your pants and the other hand gripping your phone, tumblr open. your favorite seungmin fic filling the screen. you had started reading fan fiction about him, and you weren’t proud of it. you just wanted him so badly. and if you were going to fantasize about him, might as well have some help from the internet, right? maybe you were just trying to make yourself feel better. you had known seungmin for a little while now. you have had a crush on him for just as long. it might even be more than a crush if you’re being honest with yourself. ever since you moved into the dorms, you’ve had some huge heart eyes for the guy. but he’s so intimidating. you were scared to ever talk to him. so here you were, hand down your pants, alone at the dorms, moaning his name.

“fuck. seungmin. yes.” you moan to yourself. maybe you were being a little too loud. but you didn’t care. no one was home, and it felt too good. your fingers making sloppy wet sounds as you pumped them in and out. the mental image of him above you had you right on the edge of release. when suddenly.. there’s a knock on the door.

shit.

what the fuck do you do in this situation? you yanked your hand out of your pants so fast, and pulled the blanket up over your head like there was someone actually in the room with you to hide from. you held your breath. trying to be as quiet as possible. after a minute or two, there it was again, the knocking.

“i know you’re in there.” he said. seungmin. you would know his voice anywhere. you’ve been obsessed with it for months now. “are you decent? i’m coming in.” he warns. and before you have time to panic about that, the door cracks open and seungmin sticks his beautiful head inside. he looks around and sees that your hiding under the covers. he walks in and sits on the edge of the bed.

“so.” he starts. “i think we should probably talk about that.” he pokes at what he thinks is your leg, but he can’t be sure. you’re just a pile of blankets. you pull the blanket down to reveal your face, bright red cheeks and watery eyes.

you look at him, but he’s not looking at you. he’s staring at your phone, which is laying on top of the covers, still on and open to tumblr.

“is that my name on the screen?” he asks, emotionless. you couldn’t tell if he was mad or disgusted or intrigued. he pointed at your phone with his index finger.

“i can explain.” you say.

“no need.” he looks into your eyes now. “you’re obviously reading fan fiction about me while you touch yourself. what else is there to explain?”

you seriously wanted to crawl into a hole and die. you prayed for the earth to swallow you up in that moment. where was the alien invasion when you needed it? “i— i guess you’re right..” you mumble. “there nothing else to explain.” you look up at the ceiling, tears pricking your eyes. “i’m sorry.” you tell him.

“don’t be sorry. i quite enjoyed hearing your moans from outside the door. what a thing to come home to.” he smiles his teasing smile at you and in that moment you’re glad that you’re in bed and not standing, because your legs turned to jello.

“i didn’t know my roomie was such a slut for me.” he says, reaching for the blanket. “my little slut.”

⋆｡‧˚jeongin˚‧｡⋆

god, your boyfriend had beautiful hands. you had this thought every day, multiple times a day. but you could never say anything to him. you were way too shy for that. and wouldn’t that be weird? ‘hey, innie i think you’re hands are really sexy.’? you were embarrassed just thinking about it. so you kept it to yourself. suffered in silence, drooling over his hands. you had recently turned to tumblr to fulfill your jeongin hand needs. and that was working out fine for a little while. but now, sat on the couch next to him, it’s like his hands are sending out a signal. a loud blaring siren that says hey! here we are! look at us!

the way he’s holding his phone, the muscles flexing as he uses his thumb to scroll instagram. your mind was immediately filled with dirty thoughts. so against your better judgement, you opened tumblr and continued reading. was it dangerous to read this while sitting so close to him? sure. but you couldn’t just excuse yourself to the other room without him having questions. so it’s either this, or just openly stare at his hands until he notices. what you didn’t anticipate however, was him putting his hand on your bare thigh, slowly rubbing your leg up and down, lovingly. he was doing it absentmindedly, ghosting his fingertips across your skin as he scrolled. you were sure your panties and your pajama shorts were probably soaked through at this point.

you forced your eyes back to the screen, but it only made things worse. in the real world, he’s gently rubbing your leg. in tumblr world, he’s wrapping his hand around your throat and squeezing. you accidentally let out a whimper, squirming in your seat. his hand stilled on your leg as he looked up at you. you dropped your phone onto your lap, and covered your face, mortified.

he laughs at you. “you’re adorable. why’re you hiding?” he reaches to try to pry your hands from your face. his fingers wrapping around your wrist send a shiver through your body, straight to your core.

“are those my hands?” he asks, chuckling nervously. you peek in between your fingers and see that your phone was displaying a rather large close up of his hands. somehow, the story you were reading had scrolled all the way back up to the top. there was the title of the story, and a picture of his hands. well fuck.

“i— uh-.” you stammer.

he holds his hands out in front of his face, turning them over and examining them. “what’s so special about them?” he asks, not really expecting an answer. “you must really like them if you’re reading fan fiction about them.” he laughs. “but i’m right here. you have the real thing on the same couch as you. why read about it?” he asks.

your face is bright pink. “i was embarrassed..” you admit softly.

“embarrassed? how long have you been thinking about this?”

you kind of shrug as an answer, meaning it’s been a while. he reaches for your phone, and before you can stop him, he’s scrolling. “choking?” he looks up at you. “is that what you want, baby? for me to wrap my hands around your pretty little throat?” your eyes went wide and you swallowed hard. “aren’t you going to answer me?” he teases. “i bet my big hand would fit almost all the way around..” in one swift motion, he wraps his hand around your ankle and tugs, forcing you onto your back, him kneeling in between your legs. he leans over you, his breath against your cheek, his hand slowly sliding up your chest, his index finger playing with the little dip at the base of your throat.

“i’ll put this hand here..” he says, wrapping it around your throat but applying no pressure. “and i’ll put this one here.” his other hand finds your soaked pajama shorts. “already prepped, baby.” he places a soft kiss against your lips before sliding his hand into your panties, his middle finger finding your hole. “let’s see how long you can last.”

🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕

[sleepsunawareof]

Well like many, the Loki S2 finale has me still reeling and I have had this little drabble on my brain and had to get it out. I am not really a writer, I've not written a fic since I was a teenager probably lol so be easy on me but alas, I hope this is enjoyed by those who also just couldn't bear the thought of Loki being alone at the end of time forever.

Description: Loki uses his time slipping abilities to talk to you one last time before making the decision he knows he has to in order to save those he loves. But, you aren't so willing to let him condemn himself to an eternity alone, or yourself to a lifetime without him.

Word Count: 1367

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN LOKI S2 EP6!! Angst, sadness, happy ending mostly

••••••••••••••

"How are you doing this?", you asked as you watched strands of space and time float around you and Loki throughout A.D Doug's workshop.

"We're outside of time. Darling, I had to see you. I had to speak to you." Loki said, a sorrowful look on his face that you had never seen before. "The Loom, it was a failsafe all along. And no amount of scaling can account for infinite timelines. I thought we had it, I really did", he explained.

"Damnit, we should have known it would be...", you lamented.

"I spent centuries trying to figure it out, and it was all for nothing."

"Centuries?" you questioned.

"It's hard to explain" he responded. "Darling, there are only two options. Go back and kill Sylvie before she kills He Who Remains and allow the Sacred Timeline to continue--"

You cut him off. "You can't Loki! The Sacred Timeline is full of misery, injustice, and sadness - what the TVA stood for under He Who Remains was all wrong! We can't go back to that. And you know you could never kill Sylvie...not after everything we have all been through together."

"I know...", he said, a sad knowing in his voice and his eyes. "But there is one other way."

"And what's that?"

"Me".

"What? You? I don't understand Loki..." you said cautiously.

"The finite power of a machine can never handle the infinite timelines of a multiverse, but the infinite power of a God can", he said as he watched your face intently for any hint of reaction.

It took a moment as you stared at him, blinking. "Do you mean..." you questioned, as the realization of what he was saying started to set in.

"Yes, my love. Believe me, if there was any other way, I swear I would take it. But there isn't. I know what kind of God I need to be, for you, for all of us. It's the only way."

"Loki, if this is what you have to do, then please, take me with you at least!" you implored.

"My darling y/n, you know I can not do that. I must bear this burden alone, and you must go live your life on the timeline, the one you deserve to have. I could never condemn you to an eternity of solitude at the End of Time", he said sorrowfully.

"But you'll condemn me to a life of solitude on Earth? Loki, I can't live without you. There's no life for me down there if it's not with you! Please, as long as our friends are happy, and I'm with you, that's all I'll need. Please let me go with you!". The last part came out as a sob as your emotions got the best of you. You couldn't believe what he was talking about doing, the sacrifice he planned to make for the ones he loved.

"When I go back there, to that moment in time, you won't remember any of this. You won't know you said you wanted to go with me," he reminded you.

"Loki, every version of me across space and time would go with you. Even into the abyss, if that's where you have to go. I will follow you, I know I will!" you fully sobbed out as you threw your arms around him. The thought of him leaving you was killing you.

"They'll stop you if you try to follow me, you know that" he said, speaking of your friends back at the TVA.

"Then tell them not to Loki! Please, I'm begging. My place is beside you, always and forever, no matter where that place is."

And then Loki was gone and everything turned to spaghetti.

••••••••••••••

Loki slipped effortlessly back to just the right moment in the Loom control room, having been here in this moment over and over for centuries. This time though, it was different. This time, it was the last time. Loki looked over at you and his friends with a sad and knowing smile on his face. And then with one last look, he turned and ran down the stairs towards the blast doors. He knew he could keep you from following, lock the doors behind him with impenetrable magic. But he also knew that in your heart, you would never want to be without him. You would resent him forever if he left you on Earth alone.

You, Sylvie, and Mobius ran down the stairs after him immediately, but he was already through the airlock doors. The three of you watched Loki open the blast doors with his magic and start to step outside, absent of any protective suit. As you reached out to open the airlock door and go after him, Mobius pulled you back.

"Mobius, I have to go! I have to get to him!!!" you screamed.

"You can't! The temporal radiation will kill you if you open that door and go out there, you know that!"

"But it's going to kill HIM!" you cried out as you watched Loki walk out onto the walkway.

But something amazing started to happen. As the temporal energy shredded his TVA clothes away with every passing second, something else began to take it's place. Flowing dark green linen draped his form, traditional and humble shoes appeared on his feet, and a horned crown adorned his head. He looked absolutely Godlike and regal. As Loki walked closer to the Loom - this imperfect piece of machinery that took so much from so many - he lifted his hands, called upon his magic, and destroyed it in a flash of bright green and white light.

Then, there was darkness. Loki wasn't done, though. He reached out to grab a strand of time and suddenly it glowed back to life, his beautiful green magic allowing it to thrive. He grabbed another, and another. You, Mobius, and Sylvie stood silently in the airlock, watching as Loki brought the timelines back to life, one by one, gathering them in his hands. Above him, a chasm opened in the sky, revealing the End of Time. Loki looked back one last time at the 3 of you back in the airlock. He had no idea if you would really come after him like you said - but he wanted to see your face one last time if it was truly to be the last. Your eyes locked, and you knew now that the temporal energy was gone, there was no threat if you left the airlock.

"I have to go with him." you said to Mobius and Sylvie. "His worst fear is to be alone, and he is going to condemn himself to a lifetime of loneliness to save us all!" you said as you opened the door.

"Y/n, please! Stop! You don't know what you're giving yourself to." This time, it was Sylvie who pulled you back, holding your arm so you couldn't run down the walkway.

"Yes, I do. I'm giving myself to love. I'm giving myself to free will, to choice, to hope." you said.

"Sylvie, let her go," Loki called out. "It's going to be okay." he assured.

Sylvie let go of you hesitantly, and you started your walk out to Loki. When you reached him, he could not take your hand, but you took his arm. Together, you began to ascend the invisible stairs to the End of Time as he held the reanimated timelines in his hands. As you both crossed the threshold of the chasm to the End of Time, He Who Remains' throne and the ruins of his citadel came into view. Loki walked forward to the throne, the one he never wanted but was always destined to have. The timelines took on the beautiful form of a tree - Yggdrasil, the tree of life - the tree of the multiverse that Loki would tend to for eternity.

"This is where I'll have to stay forever, darling. I can never leave, never move. Tending to the timelines is my glorious purpose, my eternal burden. Are you truly willing to stay here with me?" he inquired.

"Yes, my love", you answered without hesitation.

"For all time?" He asked.

"Always".

[blehrbie-blog]

Neteyam x Reader story

Sooo, I haven't written anything in genuine years. But after watching Avatar:TWOW I've become hyperfixated and have been scrolling and refreshing the Neteyam x Reader tag basically since the movie came out. As a consequence I've had this idea in the back of my mind that I thought was very sweet and cute (something we all need after that movie) so I decided to sit down and give it a go and see what comes out of my brain. So here it is. I haven't properly edited it and it's pretty much a 1000 words of word vomit and a bunch of time skips but it made me happy to write so I'm sharing it.

Oh, BTW SPOILERS!! but also I don't stick to the event's of the movie so idk I'm just putting it out there in case someone hasn't watched the trailer.

So the idea is our girl meets Neteyam informally for the first time when they're 9. She gets cornered in the jungle by a Palulukan and Neteyam helps her run away from it. She had always known who he is being the firstborn son of the Toruk Makto. She remembers her mom telling her about the big ceremony the Tribe had when he was first born. Everyone knew him.

- You shouldn't go into Palulukan territory without being careful - he says, looking a bit unsure about her now that there's no imminent danger.

- I didn't know I was in its territory

 - Don't wander off too far on your own then.

___________________________

After this meeting, you get closer and become friends, which means as a consequence you occasionally hang out with the rest of Neteyam's family. However, as he gets older and his Dad starts preparing him to be a warrior and later on Lo'ak as well you don't have as much time to spend as you once did laughing and roaming around in the jungle exploring thick forests and shallow pools of water. It's not like you have nothing to do with your life, you do! You've been thinking of taking up lessons from the Tsahik, to see how you can use the spirit of Eywa and nature to help people who are hurting. It just so happens that the Tsahik is Neteyam's grandmother so you sometimes end up seeing him come back from a mission with his father and you share sweet smiles from across the camp.

When the tribe moves to the floating rocks, you are required by the Tsahik to help those injured from the journey and the ones getting used to the new terrain. So you're even more often in the same circles. As you're working one day about to go over to help Ninat with her sprained ankle, someone taps you on the shoulder

-You seem busy with work. - says Neteyam smiling sweetly at you

-Oh! Yes, I was just about to start. How's your training going?

You hadn't spoken in a while, just a quick wave or nod when crossing paths throughout the day. You hadn't noticed but he towers over you by a couple inches now. He nods towards his dad who's speaking with Neytiri at the edge of their tent.

-You know, just the usual responsibilities of carrying on the legacy. - His eyes gaze into you softly, like he's memorizing your face after not seeing it for long. He shakes it off and looks down - Have you got many tasks today?

-Not too much actually, just need to check up on Ninat and prepare some medicinal salves.

- I want to see you later – He looks back up into your eyes and smiles – Maybe we can go on one of our expeditions like before.

You chuckle – Sure, I'd love that.

With a final nod of approval, he stalks away to his parent's side.

When you meet later towards sunset he's waiting patiently with his Ikran by the vines connecting the Hallelujah Mountains to the Jungle below.

-We won't go too far out into the jungle so we have time to come back before sunrise. - He says as he connects his Queue with the Ikran and gazes at you expectantly – Hop on.

Can I trust that I'll come back alive from this flight? - you raise a skeptical eyebrow. He only went through his Iknimaya ritual not too long ago.

He reaches out a hand to help you up onto the animal – I don't think Eywa would forgive me if I wasted you on a simple flight.

You smile warmly into his shoulder as you hold tight onto him feeling the powerful animal shift under you as you fly out.

Roughly 10 years later

____________________________

When he comes back from the Mitkayina islands. He's taller and broader and his hair is much longer pulled into a loose braid around his Queue. You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first see him. He's magnificent and commanding in his presence. The tribe has gathered all around to accept him and Jake back with a warm welcome. And even though you're hidden by your fellow Na'vi, his eyes immediately find you in the crowd and issue an eager and warm smile on his face.

As soon as he has settled the greetings with the current Olo'eyktan and the Tsahik, he finds you – walking to your sleeping pod. You would have gone to say hello and see him up close but, honestly, you were a bit intimidated. What you now knew was a childhood infatuation with him all those years ago still couldn't handle seeing him all of a sudden in all his... perfect glory. You were a little intimidated. But that doesn't stop him from reaching out for you. You see him jog over with a grin. He grabs you by the shoulders about to pull you into a hug but stops himself at the last moment. His eyes roam you over from head to toe and he looks up with glistening eyes -You've grown! - His tone sounds almost unbelieving

-That tends to happen as time passes, yes – you chuckle, hands coming up to hold onto his arms. His strong arms.

-I'm not too sure what I expected you to look like but you're... way beyond any expectation – He sounds so awe-struck as he's still taking you in, that you start to feel a little embarrassed.

-I can say the exact same thing – You say as you meet his gaze again. As you do his face softens and he brings you into his arms finally.

-I missed you, my friend.

Your hand caresses his hair gently – I missed you too.

You break apart and you decide to go for some late food with him abandoning your plans of sleep.

_______________________

Months later, when they have their first kiss. It's a slow thing. He will say something dry-humoured in his soft voice and she'll forget to laugh too busy staring at him, realizing how in love she is. And has been all these years. And when he notices that she hasn't replied he'll look at her and know immediately. That she's realized, at last. And he'll come to hold her like she's the most precious thing in his world. He'll thread his fingers through her hair bringing her face close to his. Forehead pressed to hers, patiently waiting for her to join him in the reality he has been living. Where they have loved each other for a while, longed and missed unbelievably because of it, and are finally able to bask in it. The warm smiles and looks, the casual closeness that not being apart allows. The things he has been dreaming of. He looks at her lips and back at her eyes, pulling back slightly to give her some space. Maybe she's not entirely understanding his feelings, maybe she's too caught up in her own to recognize his signs, he thinks, ready to give her all the time- When she grabs his neck and drags him back to her. - Neteyam... – her eyes are glossy like she's about to cry. So he caresses her cheeks gently and finally presses their lips sweetly together. And he can not compare it to any other feeling he has ever experienced. It's not like loving her, that's easy and at the same time overwhelming. It has brought him to the point that he is ready to lay down his life and all of his family's expectations to travel back to the tribe just to see her. To be reunited. But this feeling, this kiss is like knowing, that he won't be alone in his love and he can give her his all, his soul. They stay there, lost in the sweetness of being together like never before until the sun has long set and the moon has long risen.

_______________________

That is it! I do realise I keep skipping between tenses, I apologise if anyone finds it annoying and hope you enjoyed!

Edit: I thought it might be useful to put a link to part 2 down here so: Next

[jellyfishsthings]

Warnings: um smut... wrap it before you tap it, piv, fem!reader, academical rivals to lovers, probably the filthiest thing I have ever written... if you know me, no you don't

Part 1 , Part 3

Things since last week haven't changed much. Remus and I still had our rivalry going stronger than ever. Especially after the hallway incident, which ended up with him having a large red handprint on his cheek, indicating a really strong slap. In my defense, he was getting close. Ever since we haven't stopped arguing with each other, until…

"I can't work with her."

"It's impossible to work with him."

As quickly as the words left our mouths, we sharply turned to glare at each other. Completely missing Professor's McGonagall proud look.

"You are working together on this project. And you will present to me the best project in the class because you are both Perfects and have to give the right example. I don't care about whether you like each other or not."

Seething I exit the room with a newfound speed, and Remus closely follows behind my heels.

"Can you just slow down a bit?" He asks, and I instantly stop walking, turning towards him, waiting impatiently to hear what he has to say. "She's right, you know. We have to make this fucking project as perfect as possible. So I think we should call a truce." He slowly proposes as if this will simply fix our problems. I stare at him blankly, and I see his nostrils flaring. "Look. I don't like this either, ok? But I need the grade, and if it were someone else, I would just make the project myself. But since it's you … if we work together we could… We are at the top of every class for a reason. Just…." His voice eventually gives up.

"Fine," I say, "meet me at the library at 7. We have a lot of research to do"

This was how I found myself meeting with my all-time rival every day in the library for two months. The insults never stopped flying from one to the other, but surprisingly, we made a good team, and the project was almost finished. We are now accustomed to each other and our habits. Like Remus… when he read something for a really long time, he would remove his glasses and rub his eyes and his nose, smoothing it out after being scrunched up. Or when we got tired, he would share his chocolates to boost our morals and energies.

Many comments have been floating around the halls."How long until they fuck it out?", "God, he could eat her alive, for what she said to him.","He must be really smitten with her for putting up with her." ... Well, you got the gist of it.

Now, as I was getting ready for bed, a thought occurred. We never looked in the secluded area for any useful information. So, I put on my slippers and headed towards the library once again.

I slowly walk down the hallways, trying to get past Flinch. The great mahogany walls of the library greet me with a loud groan. I grab one of the oil lanterns that rest on the librarian's desk and head towards the restricted section. I find books related to the project and start reading them. Keeping notes under the candlelit room.

I could be reading for hours or mere minutes when I hear footsteps. I quickly blow out the flame and hide in the darkest spot I can find between the bookcases. As the sound of footsteps comes closer my breathing turns faster and more panicky. Good God I am going to get caught? Am I going to get detention? What am I going to do?

That's when I feel a hand close around my mouth. Silencing me. Wait …what? Silencing me? A familiar scent fills my nostrils.

"Stay quiet or else we are going to get caught." He whispers in my ear. His Welsh accent dripped like honey, his voice raspy and almost deathly quiet. Heat pools in my core as a dream resurfaces in my brain. "Stay quiet or else we are going to get caught." He says as he pounds into me while he has my hips in a tight grip, guiding back and forth.

As I snap out of my trance, I push his hand harshly off me. "What the hell are you doing here?", I whisper-yell at him.

"What the hell are you doing here?", he fires back. We stare at each other with our eyes slitted as we both breath heavily.

"How did you even know I was here?", I ask him accusingly, even though I have been caught in the act.

"The marauders map." He answers back easily as if that answer would ring a bell and not cause more questions.

"The what ?"

"I think he is gone."

"Oh really?"

"Why do you like to test me, woman?"

"Possibly because of your super nice personality or better yet because you're a prick."

He just returned the favor with a wolfish grin, notice the irony.

"Why are you smiling?" I snap at him.

"Oh because you are so nicely close to me and you haven't uttered a word about that." Just as the words leave his mouth I feel my cheeks heat. Jesus why am I blushing? At least he can't see it. "And yes I can see you blushing"

How did he…? Is he a mind reader?

"Also I am no mind reader, i just know you that well." His face is dangerously close now. The empty, now, library is ominously quiet and I can almost feel our breaths echo in the room. There is no escape, is there? His mouth is almost atop of mine, his breath fanning my face.

"Gosh why are you like this? Why must you test me until I snap? Why do I love it so much?" He says as his lips crush into mine in a bruising kiss that steals my breath away. He manhandles me so that our chests are pressed together and I am promptly sitting in his lap, feeling a long hard cock press against my clad yet soaking wet pussy. Insults fly out of our mouths in-between every heated kiss.

"Punk"

"Jerk"

"Dickhead"

"Oh you are going to feel that soon."

"Bite me, Lupin."

"If you insist."

We discard our clothes as fast as possible until he grabs hold of my thighs and he slams me on the flat surface of the bookcase.

Right opposite the window, it's so dark outside that our reflections fill my eyesight. His scarred, white freckled back in contrast with my tanned legs, due to all the sun exposure, that are wrapped around his waist and my arms in his shoulders. One of my hands is buried deep in his brown curled hair that is now buried in my neck leaving bites and hickeys as he bites, laps and sucks, leaving permanent marks behind his trail. While the other scratches his back, as my legs draw back and my back arches.

Horrified gasps sound in the room, mixing with my moans and his groans. My eyes open immediately, leaving their half hooded state, searching the room for intruders but not finding anyone until…. Of course, the portraits. Great I am about to get royally fucked by Remus Lupin and not only will I have to live with the memory of it but now the portraits saw what we were doing, I was catastrophically doomed, I laugh at the thought.

And Remus leaves his task and draws slightly back, enough for him to keep impossibly close but still be able to see my face.

"I love your laugh. And I absolutely hate the fact that I am not the one causing it. But that is going to change. Everything is going to change from now on, you bellend." The breath is being knocked out of my lungs. "And now I am going to fuck you. I reckon you are wet enough so as not to hurt." He says as his fingers play with my clit. "I would say you are quite drenched actually. You know I have been thinking of this, dreaming it even. Fucking you hard and deep, until you are nothing more that a brainless brat." Gasps and moans are his only answers.

"Thank God you seem to like that because I don't think I can hold back any more." He seals these words with a kiss as he enters me in one fluid motion until he is balls deep. Our mouths are open now as we try to catch our breaths and I stare at his eyes, trying to find the familiar mischievous dark green that haunted my every thought. His forehead dropped to mine as he started to move inside me at an insane pace. His balls are slapping against my clit as he hits all the right spots.

My back arches and my head falls back as my eyes close. I feel one of his hands slide up my back and rest somewhere between my ribs, commanding me to stay in place as I feel…. No this can't be right. My gaze moves to the window and what I see almost brings me right over the edge right there and then. His head is buried in my chest hiding all the toying he is doing at my breasts, paying extra attention to my nipples. Marking them up too.

"God I wish I could mark up our thighs and pussy too but that will have to wait."

"Remus, you prick, how dare you…" I say in a breathless voice my insult is lost in all the pleasure I am feeling.

"Yes, how dare I make you feel all this pleasure. Huh?" He mouths in my chest as he has his lips wrapped around one of my tits.

"I am close" I whimper

"I know, sweetheart. Let go for me. I've gotcha."

I don't know what actually sent me over the edge. The nickname, the command, reassurance, a mixture of all of them? Well whatever it was it rocked my world. I never thought an orgasm could last that long or be so powerful. It was literally dripping down my thighs to his and then falling to the ground. Embarrassingly so. He had finished too. His face was buried in my chest trying to catch our breaths.

He turns to look at me, smirking. Oh no. I already know what he is going to say. And I won't be able to say no.

"Ready for round two?"

words: 1.741

[factual-fantasy]

28 asks! :DD Thank you as always!! 💖💖

@astaherussy

My FNAF AU has been sorted out. In the sense that the timeline has been re-written enough that I can go back to drawing it..

Now the next comic in the AU is a re-write/re-draw of my old FNAF comic, Moon Malfunction. A few months ago though there were several time sensitive projects that came up and I needed to shelf Moon Malfunction 2.0 until they were done. Well now they're all done.. but Moon Malfunction is gonna take me some time to get around to..

For the past few months I've been in a really bad spot mentally and physically. And taking on my FNAF Recap/Repair project is just not something I feel I have the mental energy to do at the moment.. All it feels like is a one big pile of work. And all I wanna do I just draw what ever comes easily to me and focus on recovering..

Soooo for the time being,, my main FNAF AU might not see any updates for a bit.. Though I haven't forgotten about it and I do want to get back to it at some point soon. But for now I want to cut any work out of my relaxing/drawing time and just draw what ever I want. Which atm is pirate cookies-- <XDD

They're also great for grabbing something across the room while I stay in bed 😎😎

Why haven't I drawn anything like that yet- what--

I might just have to at some point! :00

@ardent-38

AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH!! THATS SO SWEET!! BUT ALSO LSKNAKJ XDDD

I never thought of it like that! Anyone who gets into the game through my characters is like a lactose intolerant person recommending an ice-cream joint- and they're very persuasive! XDD

But fr, thank you! And hey, even if my characters aren't in the game, they'll always be here on Tumblr waiting for you XDD

Actually, I wasn't! :00 I haven't seen that episode of the Cuphead show. But I'm assuming its about Cala Maria and Captain Brineybeard, yes? If so I can easily see the relation XD

(Post in question)

AAAA THANK YOU!! The comic was different than what I'm used to. But it was a nice change of pace. I'm glad you liked it! :}}}

@badlyblurry (Post in question)

FRRRRRR THO He's been holding that glow back for a while. Trying not to send the wrong messages to Blue and potentially damage their friendship 💔💔

XDDD ITS OK!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD 💖💖✨

@mod-bubamon

I have! In this post you can see 3 of them floating behind Melvin! (The anthro donkey)

And in this post, you can see Melvin holding one while it passes away... :((((( Sad day for sure.

Well? What did she taste like? XDD

Oh wait you're dead my bad-

Unfortunately I cant think of any songs that would match each crew members theme.. Rn all my brain can think about is this 👇

@nunyabusiness459 (Comic in question)

🥰🥰THANK YOU!! :DDD

What is primordial dough? :0

@2006-stupid-thatsme

Thank you! :DD Though unfortunately my fwernnd, I am known for being very bad at explaining how I do art things. :(

If I tried to explain my thought/design process it would just be a lot of word spaghetti that boils down to "uhhh... I just drew it.,. aandd if it dont look good.. draw it differently.. until it looks good-"

My advice would be to look on YouTube for character design tutorials or ask some other artists that have artwork similar to mine and see if they can help. :( Again, so sorry! I wish I could articulate my thoughts better 💔💔

@beryl-shade

This actually makes me think- Google says that if you add too much sugar to a cookie they become brittle.

Huh,, makes me think. If one of the cookies was baked with too much sugar.. they'd break real easy.. hmm.. 👀👀

@whereismycupofcoffee

@artistiemi

Thank you so much!! :DD I wish the same for you!! ✨💖✨

@sunnys-bloog

I've thought about drawing them! :0 And I thiiink I drew Franny one time..? The Blue one. Although I don't think I'll be able to find the sketch unfortunately-

NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS!!

tbh though I think they'd see him as just a normal guy! :0 Right..?

@beryl-shade

I'm not sure.. considering what I know about the games.. I thiiink they'd be horrified?? <XDD If they understand that they're made of dough, it'd be the equivalent of a human walking into a giant meat factory where they chop up meat and make weird false humans..

Okay yeah, they'd be horrified for sure XDDD

@wdillustration

:DD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :}}}

@neo-metalscottic (Cookie run post in question)

AAAAA thank you so much!! I'm glad you liked it!! :DD As for the power, I think you're right about it being a rare occasion. And the idea of her gaining better control over it over time? While her love grows as well?? Perfection. But man I'm also tempted to make it so she can change when ever she wants. :( I really like drawing her and Seafoam together like that.. 🥺

As for the Colossal squid episode,, I'd have to go back and re-watch it to decide if I'll keep it for my AU or not..

But thinking about all the stuff you described about a violent altercation and nightmares?? 👀👀 Its giving me ideas! XDD

Now if the crew did face a violent altercation like that, I imagine their #1 goal would to protect the Octopod. That's their home man! They would probably do what ever they could to get the octopod away from the situation. Like the Captain manually piloting it and some of the crew being sent out in gups to distract the squid. Stuff like that :0

@luna-purple454

AAA IT WAS ON THE 10TH BUT THANK YOU!! XDD :DD

@khoiazo

It was on the 10th actually- and hey thanks! Seam could probably use the calories <XD

@unpopularartist14 (referencing this ask post)

<XD oh boy, what a stark contrast between the sides--

@shaziztrazh

I didn't have them in mind while designing them,, though maybe I took some subconscious inspiration? I see the similarities! :0

[oshiawaseni]

Trails of Love Hori's been paving down in the build up for the series' ending

Part II: Decoding the love story being told through other characters

Part One | II. Compress | Part Two -> KiriMina

.•° ✿ 2. Gentle & La Brava ೋღ

Gentle and La Brava are classic portrayals of the archetype known in Japan as "baka couple" - a couple that dotes on each other and are very openly affectionate. By juxtaposing the baka couple with Izuku and Katsuki, who keep their true feelings for each other close to their chests, Horikoshi is highlighting the tension and ambiguity going on between bkdk even more.

This tale is the evolution of my feelings towards Gentle/La Brava.

Their introduction was, very... unexpected. Izuku had just finished his tough fight against Overhaul. Nothing much was going on at the time and it had been quite a while since Izuku and Katsuki had interacted with each other.

Shortly after Gentle and La Brava's introduction to the series, BkDk development ramps up and Izuku's "Control your heart" character arc begins. Isn't that interesting..?

The very first time I watched Gentle/La Brava's story in Season Four, something seemed so... misplaced about them.

Their vibe felt filler-ish and because of the school festival side plot going on, their appearance was more like a filler inside of a filler. Yet, Horikoshi had indeed written them into BNHA. These two characters felt so strange when compared with Hori's usual characters. Even downright silly. They were criminals, but they weren't even that bad..? Tea? U.A? They loved each other?

I just couldn't quite work out their purpose in the grand scheme of things and I quickly gave up trying to.

Izuku has no regard for himself? He's crazy? Don't get entangled with him? These lines scream out KATSUKI KATSUKI KATSUKI and how he had felt towards Izuku for years. It seems Hori projected Katsuki's issues with Izuku onto LB/G over 100 chapters before Katsuki verbalised them himself. Going back, now knowing they were written for BkDk is a new experience in and of itself.

Around the time of Katsuki's death, a few theories were floating around on twitter, saying that Gentle and La Brava were put in the manga to highlight what's going on with BkDk. At the time of hearing these theories, I never expected they'd be making a return to the story in the final arc, it had broke my brain thinking about them the first time, so I didn't give this theory too much thought... but when they showed up a second time, in the final act, I really wish I had.

Because as I was reading the things they were now saying the second time around, and being more open to this theory about them, all I could see in my head were visions of everything Izuku and Katsuki had ever done for each other. It had finally clicked:

God, Hori did invent these characters to be the voice of BkDk.

These were the new lines in question that sent my head spiralling about the magnificent truth of this theory:

"Are you still fighting to protect someone's smile?!" It made me think of Katsuki, how Izuku was fighting for Katsuki's sake! To keep him safe, so he'll come back to him, energetic, alive, red eyes shining again with the passion that Izuku loves so much, and his face brimming with confidence and that wonderful, infectious smile of his that tells, no, shouts to everyone that he knows he's a winner.

"My only happiness was the thought of you at my side" Immediately made me think of Katsuki's last moments and thinking of Izuku when he knew, he just KNEW he was going to die. And his thoughts of Izuku - wanting to be the hero that Izuku loves, so he could feel that love when he needed it most, these feelings surrounded and filled his entire heart like a comforting, soft, warm blanket. These feelings are what got him through everything until the end.

This one made me cry because Izuku was his happiness at his very end. And I finally saw Horikoshi, the mangaka who cares about BkDk more than anyone! I saw what he was doing!

"The time we spent apart made our love even stronger." was like a ray of hope for me because every time they had a separation, BkDk's love grew even stronger. It meant that this separation caused by Kacchan's death would some day have an end too, where afterwards, they would be free to love each other for all the world to see.

Can you see it? Katsuki and Izuku were always meant to end up together, and La Brava and Gentle were meant to help show readers what they feel, without BkDk necessarily saying it themselves.

If Izuku's love of Kacchan is what got him a power up every time (OFA, Black Whip, Danger Sense), then this ultimate power of La Brava's must be the same for Katsuki too. Because it is his love for Izuku that gave him a quirk awakening. (And there's another great theory that their deep bond and immense love for each other is what connected Katsuki to Izuku's OFA, as well. So Gentle La Brava are connected via Love... and Katsuki and Izuku are connected via love!)

Let's say from the very beginning of BNHA, Horikoshi's idea was to gradually bring BkDk closer and closer, adding in little details here and there that don't make much sense on their own and are never expanded upon. Because he couldn't make their feelings known in the early/mid game... but he wanted to have them romance-ready at the end game.

Hori would have had a basic outline for the ways he was going to develop BkDk's relationship and he knew he needed a lot of 3rd party help to really spell out their relation to each other in the future. So Hori created Gentle and La Brava for this singular purpose. They exist to help verbalise Katsuki and Izuku's unsaid feelings! It's a perfect marriage between Gentle/La Brava's words and BkDk's actions.

And once people realised that Hori was doing this, they could then go back to the dialogues and connect the dots with other BkDk scenes as well, for example, Katsuki's abduction by the LOV in season three.

In a scene where Katsuki is taken away, Izuku's emotional pain is palpable. His deafening scream shocks not only his classmates, but a lot of viewers too. Because of his deeply emotional reaction and later scenes displaying symptoms of PTSD, this seemingly one-sided affection that Izuku has towards Katsuki, raised so many questions about their relationship for me. And as the series progressed, the mystery of Izuku's powerful feelings and need for Katsuki only deepened further. It feels like La Brava's dialogues were written into the series, just to verbalise what these overwhelming moments were truly like for Izuku.

This can't be just a coincidence. There are just too many parallels between BkDk and Gentle/La Brava to even count.

If you've read my twitter thread on the Gentle/La Brava vs BkDk parallels and how incredibly similar Izuku and La Brava's backgrounds are, but you're still sceptical about this theory, then going on this journey of Hori's trails with me may help convince you that Hori was going to make BkDk canon no matter what and that he's been using other characters to narrate the feelings of BkDk's actions.

In the future, I hope to show you how instrumental Gentle and La Brava were in expressing Horikoshi's vision.

Because there are more layers to Gentle and La Brava's arc than a damn rainbow cake. And I'm still not finished with these two yet, but that is a topic for a later post. Next up, KiriMina!

Part Two -> KiriMina

II. Compress Back to Part One

[helpimstuckposting]

TW: mentions of child abuse, panic attack

I’m a ghost and you are a shadow

Part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven

—

The glow of the porch light backlit Eddie in a warm yellow, the light glinting off his hair. Steve watched him quietly as he sifted through his thoughts, the winding branches of them playing plainly across his face. It was both comforting and unsettling, how familiar this Eddie was. He wasn’t like Nancy, who was the same but hadn’t talked to Steve in years. He wasn’t like Linda Harrington, who was so completely different than the mother he knew in his world. He wasn’t like the others, who Steve had been mourning the loss of for years. He was just Eddie. Just the same Eddie.

Maybe this Eddie was more paranoid, more uncomfortable around him, but it also reminded Steve of how Eddie was when they had first met. It was so easy to just sink into the silence as he waited for the person beside him to speak.

It took a few more minutes, the water lapping against the edge of the pool filling the quiet, harmonized only by the rustling of leaves in the forest nearby.

“I get that this isn’t your fault,” Eddie started. Steve sat and listened, as Robin had done for him earlier. “It’s just… hard for me… to see your face.” He seemed to be struggling for the right words, calculating the correct way to phrase things.

“I don’t mean to take it out on you or anything, but I know you’re not our Steve and that’s… that’s something I’m struggling with.” Eddie blinked a few times, squeezing his eyes shut tight before slightly shaking his head and opening them again.

Steve nodded. He understood, was having the same issues with his mother and the rest of them. It was weird to know they weren’t the people he shared memories with, especially Eddie who was so similar to his own Eddie Munson.

“I know,” Steve replied. He was still watching him, still seeing other thoughts fly across Eddie’s face without being said aloud. With Robin he could tell what the words were, could read them like a well-worn book that Steve had dog-eared and underlined, knew the next line before he read it. With Eddie, it was like pouring over a book written in a language he couldn’t read. He could see the words floating over Eddie’s face, knew there were sentences and questions and monologues that Steve hadn’t quite translated or figured out yet.

He’d never had to learn Eddie before. The Eddie of his world was so open, so talkative and expressive. He’d shut down when Wayne had died, spent a few weeks in a quiet just like this but he still talked to Steve. Maybe they just didn’t have anyone else.

“Steve and I were… we were close, so it’s hard to… to see you. But that’s not your fault and if Linda can handle it, then I’m just being a baby,” Eddie said. He trailed off a bit at the end, like he didn’t actually believe his words but felt like he should.

“You’re not,” Steve replied. “It takes… time. I get it. It’s only been a day and I don’t know if I’m just broken and my brain’s stopped processing shit or…,” he kept his eyes on Eddie, on the curls falling from his bun, the redness around his eyes. He looked tired. He was still staring into the dark water of the pool, not sparing Steve a glance but if that’s what he needed to be able to talk then Steve wasn’t going to push him.

“You’re allowed to take time. You’re allowed to… to not interact with me at all, it’s okay. I don’t know what you and your Steve were to each other, but I feel like I’m taking up space I shouldn’t be in.”

Eddie flinched. He locked eyes with Steve for the first time since he’d slinked into the backyard, and Steve could see a sort of apology in his eyes.

“Don’t do that,” he said. “It’s not your fault you’re in this position, either. You’re not taking anything and you shouldn’t have to apologize for being here.” Steve blinked at him. He wasn’t sure what to say, but could see Eddie gearing up to say more.

“I’m kind of used to doing that, anyway,” Steve said before he could continue. Eddie looked pained, the sharp look flashing across his face easy for Steve to read this time. He looked like he wanted to apologize again, which wasn’t Steve’s intention. He’d meant to reassure Eddie, tell him that it wasn’t anything new or that Steve minded, that he really was sorry to make Eddie uncomfortable in his own world that Steve didn’t belong to in the first place.

“I heard what you said to Robin earlier,” Eddie whispered, “about your mom.” He seemed to abandon whatever he was going to say before Steve had put his foot in his mouth and made Eddie more uncomfortable.

Steve remembered the blinds swaying in his window, oddly comforted by the fact that it was Eddie. He wanted Eddie around, would have told Eddie himself about how his worlds Linda Harrington was, would have told him more if he had the chance. Now, he had the chance, but he didn’t know if Eddie would be okay with hearing more.

“I get having shitty parent issues,” Eddie continued. “My mom passed away when I was six. Not exactly the same type of left behind, but still. I get it. My dad was…,” Eddie paused, glancing up to the darkened sky, a few stars blinking out behind a whisp of clouds.

Steve continued to watch him. Eddie fiddled with his rings the same way he was familiar with, twisting and tugging and sliding the metal against his skin. Steve knew how smooth the rings were inside, knew that they made his Eddie feel stronger, like armor. He wondered if this Eddie wore them for the same reason.

“I didn’t tell her everything,” Steve whispered. Eddie stopped fiddling and turned back to Steve. He looked like he was actually listening, like he was okay with Steve continuing, with learning the rest of the story.

“When I was little, if my mom wasn’t around, my dad would…. I mean, he wasn’t very good at parenting,” Steve started. This was something he’d already considered telling Eddie, in his world. Since Robin was gone, Steve really had no one to talk to outside of his and Eddie’s weekly calls. They hadn’t exactly progressed to sharing their shitty-father-stories but Steve had just felt compelled to let Eddie in at some point. Maybe he would have gotten to it on this week’s call, if he hadn’t been snatched off into an alternate universe.

He took a breath, prepared for what he hoped was the last emotional conversation of the day.

“He would get angry really easily, especially when he drank. It didn’t matter how young I was, he just cared about how well I was upholding the Harrington image.” Steve chuckled a bit darkly, biting his lip as he thought about how to phrase this. “I uh… I was always really good at fucking that up in his eyes.”

Steve remembered the story he told to Nancy about crawling backwards, his little baby mind not quite grasping what other babies did. He told her that he fell down the stairs, that he’d given himself a bump on the head to knock him straight. That’s what he’d heard from his parents countless times at parties, entertaining guests and business partners with a silly tale about their adorable child. They’d laughed, reminiscing like amused parents did, but Steve always heard the bite to their tones, felt the words like sharp accusations. His father’s eyes turned darker when the knock to the head came up, and sometimes Steve wasn’t so sure he was telling the truth.

“I used to play it off a lot. I’d tell Tommy and Carol that my dad was going to kick my ass if I broke any rules. I’d say it in school, too, and if you say it casually enough or laugh it off then people don’t really notice, you know? And when you’re on the basketball team, it’s actually really easy to ignore the bruises, too.”

His dad was furious when he joined the swim team, though. It was a whole season without physical contact, there was no obvious way to explain an injury but when Steve made captain his father couldn’t complain. He patted Steve on the shoulder when a business partner brought it up, said that Harringtons were always exceptional leaders. All Steve really cared about was that the swim team gave him a couple months of rest from his father’s particular form of parenting.

“I don’t think my mother knew about it, he only lashed out when she wasn’t around.” He cocked his head to the side, squinting at the dark water. “Or at least, I hope she didn’t know,” Steve mumbled. It was one thing to leave him alone with his father when she was in the dark about it all, but it was another if she’d known and just ignored it. He liked to think she wasn’t that neglectful.

Eddie stayed silent, but Steve could feel his eyes on him. The quiet felt cloying once more, like it was squirming under Steve’s skin and he had to keep going, to fill the silence, or else it felt like he’d go crazy.

“I thought maybe if I said it enough, if I joked about it enough then maybe someone would realize it wasn’t one.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat, feeling like he was once again forced to choke on his words or throw them up for the world to deal with. “I mean, I didn’t want anyone to know, right? But maybe if I didn’t actually say it, if someone just paid attention, maybe I wouldn’t have to do anything about it. But that’s stupid, it wasn’t anyone else’s problem but mine, and I feel like I should have done something but no one would care, right? Like I’m just this privileged rich kid, I’m King Steve,” he spat, “I had everything I’d ever need, more than enough, so who really cares if my dad roughs me up a little? And now I’m an adult, I’m not a kid anymore, so it’s not like there’s anything to do about it except complain and when Dustin said that my dad was dead in this universe, I don’t know, I was a little relieved? But that’s awful, right? Like, I shouldn’t be relieved that he’s dead, right? And then I just think maybe I am a bad son, maybe he was right and there’s something wrong with me and I don’t know what to do,” Steve choked out, realizing belatedly that he was crying, streams of tears tracking their way down his cheeks, hot against his face in the cool night air. He knew he was going to break down at some point, he just didn’t think it would happen right when Eddie finally gave him the time of day.

He could no longer see the backyard, his tears blurring the night and dark water into one black mass. He gasped out, squeezing the bridge of his nose to try and ground himself, to squeeze the tears back into his eyes but they kept coming. He was so embarrassed, to spring all of this on a practical stranger who had just spent all day trying to come to terms with Steve’s entire existence. Now this wrong NotSteve was completely shriveling into a tattered mess at his feet, and that revelation just made Steve gasp harder, unable to gain purchase on a sustainable lungful of air. His chest burned white-hot like he’d just come in from a run across town, and he’s sure this is what it would have felt like if the demobat at his throat had just kept squeezing and squeezing all the breath out of Steve’s lungs.

He felt a line of warmth at his side and realized with a start that Eddie had scooched closer to him, pressing his side along Steve’s and dragging a firm arm around his shoulders. The sudden movement made Steve’s heart leap into his throat and for a split second he’d felt like running from a threat but Eddie wasn’t a threat, Eddie was never a threat, so Steve sunk into his side and cried until his head felt like it was going to burst.

Eddie just sat there, stroking a gentle hand over Steve’s hair. He knew it was probably disgusting, he hadn’t showered in days and definitely still had a leaf or two tangled in it from his woodsy bed that morning. As much as Robin was his soulmate though, he was glad she didn’t have to see him like this. Eddie felt more real, more tangible, and Steve also knew that he’d understand having issues with his father, being in his uncles care and all.

Eddie’s fingers gently trailed down the nape of his neck, sending shivers down his spine like he was dragging a feather instead; tickling, toying, clawing. Steve’s shoulders twitched at the feeling, unused to a touch so… gentle, so careful it burned. He cleared his throat and pulled back from Eddie’s neck, facing the water once more but not going farther. They kept their sides pressed together, knees knocking next to each other as they pulled them to their chests.

“You know,” Eddie started, breaking the silence left in the wake of Steve’s breakdown. He glanced to his left, watching the words pass over Eddie’s face before he gathered them up to speak. “I never really told anyone what happened to my dad. Do you know about him?” He rested his head on his arm, turning to look back at Steve, finally speaking eye-to-eye.

Steve shook his head, “I mean, I know what everyone else does. Shitty father, arrested for dealing, you went to live with Wayne when he was sent to prison.”

Eddie nodded, rocking his shoulder gently into Steve’s. “Yep, that’s what everyone thinks. I never told them otherwise, they didn’t need to know.” He turned his head back to the water, Steve keeping his eyes on Eddie’s face. Maybe if he watched him closely enough he’d be able to read the words before they were spoken. Maybe he’d learn him as well as he knew Robin.

“My mom died when I was six. She was sick. My dad was never good at responsibility, and he kind of… forgot that he needed to take care of me. He only really remembered I was there when he needed me to do something for him. If he needed someone close to the ground, someone who could squeeze somewhere he couldn’t fit, someone who could run faster and hide better. Then, he’d remember me and teach me what ‘needed to be done’,” he said, using air quotes to finish off the sentence.

“Once he didn’t need me anymore he forgot I was there again. I got real good at scavenging for my own food, but I had to be careful because if I ate too much from the cupboards he’d notice and he’d beat me for it.” Steve startled at the casual tone. If my dad finds out we were drinking he’s gonna kick my ass.

Calm.

Casual.

“He wasn’t the type to care about appearances though. Never cared how loud he yelled or where the bruises ended up, he just… wanted me out of the way. It was better to be invisible until he needed me.”

Steve was mesmerized watching Eddie fiddle with his hands. He’d lace his fingers together, squeeze until his knuckles were white, wring them out, get distracted by his jewelry and then twist and twist the rings over and over. He twisted each ring individually, then ran his fingers across all four; twisted one off his finger just to slide it back on and twist it again. Then, he’d notice the fixation and lace his fingers together again, squeeze until his knuckles were white, wring them out, and start all over. Again and again.

“At some point, I can’t even remember what happened or why he started yelling, but he just screamed and screamed,” Eddie continued while Steve focused on his hands, the rhythm, the pattern, “He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me across the room to yell right in my face. I guess someone else in the trailer park called the cops because the next thing I know, my dad was being dragged out of the door and they were taking pictures of the bruises, asking all sorts of questions.

“Trailer parks are pretty much all the same. Thin walls, close together, everyone kind of hears everything. By the end of the week, I was tossed onto Wayne’s front porch with a trash bag of clothes and not much else.” He stopped fidgeting, unclasping his hands to sit on them instead. Steve pressed closer to his side, hoping the warmth between their arms would help even just a little. Eddie sighed, turning his head to look at Steve once more.

“It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t my fault my dad was in prison. I kept thinking, if I hadn’t done whatever I did to make him yell, if I’d been better at disappearing then maybe he wouldn’t have gotten mad. But, it didn’t matter what I did or how good I was or how well I listened, nothing would have changed how my dad reacted. It was his fault, not mine, and I was better off with Wayne.”

Eddie held Steve’s gaze, eyes flicking back and forth between his. He nodded slightly, leaned forward just a bit, and stared so hard that Steve swore he could feel it like a touch. “It wasn’t your fault, how your dad reacted. It wasn’t your fault, and you’re better off with him gone. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be glad that he’s in the ground, he was the wrong one, not you. I don’t technically know you that well, but you’re a good person, I can tell.”

If Steve had any tears left in his system, he was sure he’d be crying again. As it was, his eyes were dry but he swallowed around the lump in his throat and felt a tension snap inside him, like the relief was finally allowed to sag into his bones. He nodded at Eddie who nodded back, pleased that Steve seemed to have listened. His eyes locked onto the bandage on Steve’s neck.

“And I’m sorry about that, by the way,” he said, contrite as Steve’s ever heard him.

“It’s fine, not like it’s the first time Eddie Munson has ever threatened me with a sharp object,” Steve chuckled. Plus, he was sure the cut had stopped bleeding at this point, Steve didn’t think it was that deep to begin with and it was definitely his fault he was cut.

Eddie blinked and cocked his head to the side, obviously baffled.

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve laughed, “it’s a long story.”

“Still,” Eddie replied, “I’m sorry.”

“How about we start over?” Steve asked, pulling away just a bit to hold out his hand. Eddie looked between the outstretched hand and Steve’s face, not quite sure where this was going yet.

“Hi,” Steve said, “I’m Steve Harrington.”

Eddie chuckled, nodding his head and slipping his hand into Steve’s. “I’m Eddie Munson.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Eddie.”

They smiled at each other, the tension from the morning all but dissolved in the chilly night air. Their palms were warm against each other, though the tips of their fingers were cold. And, as they breathed in the air filled with the scent of pine and old leaves, the faint smell of chlorine filtering up from the pool water, Steve felt the rest of the tension bleed out of him. They’d figure out what they had to tomorrow, he’d make decisions he wouldn’t want to later, but for now he and Eddie just shook hands like the strangers they were, meeting each other for the first time.

“It’s nice to meet you, Steve Harrington.”

—

THEY'VE SPOKEN! The children are together at last. I've been using this story mostly as a character study, I hope you like where my steve and eddie are going! Also, I hope the pacing isn't weird, I realize it's been just one dramatic scene after another in every part lol

@devondespresso @weirdandabsurd42 @sirsnacksalot @space-invading-pigeon @aliea82 @goodolefashionedloverboi @emly03 @bestwifehaver @mentallyundone @13catastrophic-blues @estrellami-1 @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @likelylad @aellafreya @wxrmland @shunna @fangirltofangod @howincrediblysapphicofyou

[the-nado-hunter]

Random Hetalia character head cannons/hc histories and characterizations that float in my brain but I’ve never written down - starting with England, America and Germany since I’ve thought about them the most lol:

England:

- Was the reverse of Alfred where he actually physically and emotionally aged much slower than most nations. He was barely not a teenager when he first took in Alfred (and his other “kids” by extension) when he was not at all ready/had even fully matured himself.

- I have a hc that nations who “get too big” (meaning the territory under their name grows) they kind of lose themselves and get less distinct and coherent in their motivations and sometimes don’t feel themselves at all, too many voices in their head so to speak. Unfortunately Arthur “lost it” during a pivotal part of his relationship with his family, hence all his strained relationships.

- Once he took on those responsibilities he suddenly jumped in physical age a bit. So while Alfred sees him as being SO much older (calling him an old man) his time in the nation equivalence of life stages was uneven and all over the place.

- it wouldn’t be until the 60s/70s/80s that Arthur had the time and ability to “make up for lost time” hence his musical and punk phases. He finds himself in some ways.., also likely dissolves into addiction problems at the same time.

- In the modern era he still has many anger issues but he’s a lot more calm and sure of himself, however he’s got a built up emotional wall and a whole lot of hidden self hatred that’s going to take a long long time to resolve, and he isn’t quite there yet and tends to lash out and push people away rather than deal with things.

America:

- He was very sheltered by Arthur at first, he was kept out of almost everything for most of his early life. If Arthur wasn’t present (which he often wasn’t due to the two having vastly different understandings of the passing of time) there were people hired and cycled out to take care of him. He can’t help himself though, even if he’s being treated like a sheltered little prince he wants to go run free in the fields and get into shit. He’s basically a Disney princess in his early life is what I’m saying lol.

- reality hits him like a ton of bricks when he’s roughly looking/acting about 14-15. He realizes likely through being exposed to other nations starting to come in and managing to slip out to talk to people just how much has been hidden from him and the resentment grows. And he starts REALLY growing even faster.

- Despite all that he went full on into a “fight” coping mechanism and never stopped. He put on a “mask” at one point in his life and it hasn’t come off. He’s never really deeply dealt with anything so he progressively seems more and more obtuse and seemingly arrogant to overcompensate for not wanting to face any sort of pain.

- He’s deeply deeply lonely and desperately wants closeness and to open up- yet at the same time the idea of seeming “weak” or “vulnerable” is terrifying to him. Him and Arthur are more similar than they would like to admit with how they mask and push people away despite really REALLY needing love and closeness.

Germany:

- it depends on if you accept the “Germany is HRE” theory or not, but either way I tend to think they at least have the same body but might be different entities or ‘spirits’ so to speak. That being said I imagine Ludwig specifically not only was “born” into a body that was preexisting and therefore already past a decent part of childhood, I imagine that his body was at first incredibly weak, frail, and he was very sickly for quite some time.

- I’ve written a fic about this, but I personally hc Ludwig from about 6-15 years old in appearance being almost completely unable to walk and needing braces and assistance to get around. His brother obviously loves and cares about him, but Ludwig couldn’t help but feel frustrated and like a burden. He really does look up to his big brother and is worried about being weak and reliant on others for the rest of his life.

- Ludwig GETS his strength, and as soon as he’s able to walk on his on he becomes obsessed with being as strong and capable as he possibly can be. He wants to never have to rely on anyone again, feeling an odd sense of guilt for needing so much help.

- he’s, in the end… kind of socially inept. Gilbert isn’t exactly the pinnacle of a socialized man himself - So despite being mostly independent and capable he doesn’t really understand social situations, or how to understand himself and others. Feliciano is both jarring and someone I think he becomes interested in him because Feli is capable in something he never has been and really is teaching him a lot.

- Unfortunately Ludwig had in face overcompensated for his past feelings of being a burden he’s taken so much on and has become such a protector that he’s almost unable to set boundaries and say no to requests to take on extra work- malicious or not.

- we already know Ludwig tends to explode and bark directions at people, to me it’s always been a clear sign of how much stress he’s under- but he winds up just appearing scary and he once again takes on more responsibilities and feelings of “something must be wrong with me”.

- i think many in the fandom have joked about it but Ludwig to me is SO repressed and SO gay it’s not even funny

-I would expect poor Ludwig to hit a breaking point and have a nervous breakdown eventually, which I do want to write at some point, just gotta not procrastinate lol

[dysco-lymonade]

15 Finding excuses to be alone with each other. :)

Soooo this, uh. This got a little smuttier than I anticipated.

And by that I mean, this is the first smut I’ve written. Like, ever.

Go gentle on me, I’m new here.

As always, unedited word vomit.

Lexa can’t see a goddamn thing. She thinks she’s sitting on a stack of milk crates. She doesn’t particularly care while Clarke’s body is bracketed between her thighs. This particular middle of the night rendezvous was sparked by a bucket list text conversation of sorts for when Clarke’s house arrest is over.

There’s something to be said about being blinded by darkness and only able to feel what Clarke is doing next. Clarke’s strong hands burn their way up Lexa’s thighs while her lips blaze a trail from the base of her neck to the sensitive flesh at the corner of her jaw, just below her ear.

Lexa feels deft fingers curling around the waistband of her pajama shorts. For a moment, she forgets where they are, and allows Clarke to pull them down just slightly. Lexa’s eyes have adjusted enough in the darkness to see a shadow through the crack of light under the door of somebody meandering about.

“Shit… Clarke, wait.” She knows she doesn’t sound very convincing. “There’s somebody here.”

“It’s probably just Murphy. He’s got the early bird shift.” Clarke does, however, pause her removal of Lexa’s shorts. Instead, she slides her hands around and below Lexa’s waist. Getting a firm grip on Lexa’s ass, she tugs her forward and effectively grinds into Lexa’s core.

Throwing caution to the wind, Lexa wraps her legs around Clarke and lets herself be in the moment. Clarke is good at shutting Lexa’s brain down. Usually quite the over-thinker, Lexa has just one thought on her mind right now, and it’s the question of why Clarke’s lips aren’t on her own.

Keeping one supportive hand against the wall behind her, Lexa uses the other to grasp a fistful of blonde hair at the nape of Clarke’s neck. A low groan of pleasure, Lexa is sure, can be heard from the back of Clarke’s throat. Clarke would never admit it, but she loves when that bumbling dork gets a little feisty and demanding.

Clarke follows Lexa’s direction and, in pure Clarke fashion, captures Lexa’s lips tongue first in a filthy kiss.

Still grinding herself into Clarke’s pelvis, Lexa pants into Clarke’s mouth, more just breathing her in rather than kissing her back.

“That’s it, baby.”

Baby? That’s a new one Lexa certainly does not disapprove of.

“Fuck, I can feel you. You’re so wet for me.” Clarke continues whispering praise into Lexa’s mouth as she squeezes her ass, helping grind Lexa’s covered core into herself.

“Fuck.” Another shaky exhale. “Clarke.” She’s close. She’s literally so goddamn close to getting off inside of the Sky Mart supply closet.

“I know. I know.” Clarke moves her lips back to Lexa’s ear, encouraging her with a low growl.

“You’re doing so well, Lexa.” Clarke had recently discovered Lexa’s praise kink, and absolutely uses it to her advantage. “You’re so fucking sexy like this.” Another squeeze. “Take it, Lex. Take what you want, baby.” Clarke continues to grind back into Lexa with purpose.

Lexa’s panting grows a little louder, choppier, the sexiest little whimpers falling from her lips as she chases her peak.

Clarke seals her mouth over Lexa’s, silencing her as Lexa whines out her orgasm into Clarke’s mouth. Clarke swallows down every bit of it. There’s a joke floating around Lexa’s head about wanting Clarke to swallow from a different set of lips, but she’s too blissed out to speak.

All that can be heard inside the dark little room is two sets of heavy breathing. Content for just a moment before reality sets back in.

Clarke breaks the silence. “Remind me again why I thought living on my best friend’s couch was a good idea. I need you naked and horizontal like, yesterday.” She places gentle kisses into Lexa’s hair, tucking a few strands behind a blushing red ear.

Lexa chuckles, still trying to slow her heart rate. “One more month and I can have you in my bed.” She plants a firm kiss to Clarke’s mouth, sealing the promise.

[mightbeorphanedidk]

Hi!!! I fuckin love your works. Saw you got banned LMAO what did you do

Are there any new fics to be written, or are you still working on those WIPs you mentioned

LMAO Thank you sm! <3 I had a little oopsy daisy with the moderation and my posting privileges have been revoked until the 24th of April.

Edit: can't reply to you guys either so sorry about that 😭😭

I am still working on those requests and WIPs, but I do have a few smaller ideas that I have planned! I was actually going to ask you all which to do first, so I know what's in high demand when I get back. I'm writing these in the order that they're in on my megadraft so.

1. Epilogue for "Sex Sells," The Moth Cries As He Runs From The Rampant Deer: I'll just be explaining what happened to Val after getting his ass kicked, with a bonus news report about the incident. Nothing too snazzy.

2. Story about languages in the hotel (unnamed): I heard a hc floating around that in Hell, everyone speaks their native language (So Charlie Latin, Alastor Creole French, Angel Italian), but there's a sort of translator to remove language barriers. This fic is a sickfic as well, in which not ONLY does the illness make you speak your first language, it has you blurt out the truth of what you think without second thought. Everyone at the hotel is fallen victim to it.

3. Sleepy times yayyyy: Literally just a 5+1 fic. 5 times Alastor is tasked with putting everyone to bed, 1 time he's being put to bed.

4. Hunger fic: Charlie deals with a difficult client, but ends up giving them a room. Everyone hates him, so Alastor decides to do something. Charlie doesn't exactly approve of Alastor’s snack and bans him from eating anything that Charlie doesn't give him herself. Alastor now deals with hunger, locked away in his room, until he finally snaps and goes against the princess. Charlie tries to fix her mess, Alastor goes full-on predator animal mode, and everyone else is just along for the ride. Heavily angsty, and relies on the hc that Alastor's hunger is only satiated by sinner flesh.

5. Radiosilence psychological fic: Something greatly weakens Alastor and Vox finds out. He uses it against him, kidnapping the deer, and melds his brain while he's weak. A slowburn(?) Fic of Alastor’s mindset, while in Vox’s captivity, going from "I need to get out of here and kill him" to "I can't live without him" each time Vox puts him under hypnosis. No g(rape) but very messed up. Also, predicted to be the length of the Angel AU i wrote.

6. Nightmare fic: So Lucifer uses his funky magic to project Alastor’s dreams onto a screen. Don't ask me how. Instead of cheesy romances or cliche power-possessing dreams, Lucifer sees something much, much more messed up. And damn, he regrets it so much.

7. Non-consensual drugging fic: Another torture fic. Lilith injects Alastor with a drug that makes him see everyone around him as someone he loves. This was in attempt to get him more attached (and ergo more obedient) to her but it backfires when he manages to escape to the hotel just as she inserts it. Ensue Alastor freaking out about why his mother is staring at him from the bar but also in the kitchen and simultaneously coming down from the stairs, when in reality, everyone’s just going about their days.

This might not have made sense, so sorry about that. I'll put up a little poll for you guys to pick which you're more excited for. That way, I'll work on it and make sure I post that first when I get back. :)

"Author pick what YOU wanna write!!" i wanna write all of tjem and idk which to prioritise. You guys pick first.

[astyrial]

memories to be held minho x newt (angst) prompt: it's always been you word count: 1.1k warnings: mental decline, just general angst, body gore? masterlist | requests are open written for minewt weekend @minewtweek part 1

    dust kicks up into the air, particles floating around minho. his eyes peer around the dilapidated city. buildings that once must've housed families, lovers, friends. with a bite of his lip, minho quickly picks up his pace to meet with thomas, jorge, and brenda again. the thought of looking another begging crank in the eyes slowly starts to become too much. 

  their decaying skin, the slight limps that remind him a little too much of newt, slips of the tongue as they ask him to save them. tears mist the corners of his eyes but can't seem to come to the surface. minho shakes his head for a second, trying to focus on their destination rather than their journey. 

  "how much longer?" minho questions, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. his fingernails dig into his palms as his heart beats a little faster. 

  one of the guards turns back to look at him, "it's just down this road, and if you don't make it out of there alive, don't blame it on us kid."

  a scowl rests on minho's face, a clear expression representing his resentment for the guards. for the people who even thought to take away newt in the first place. not even thomas' words of encouragement or wisdom can even begin to pull him from the destructive thoughts that creep along. 

  minho slows down so that he falls in line with brenda and thomas. the bowling alley grows into view, a sign on its side rests in top of the building. a fear builds within him that newt is so far gone he won't even recognize them. that he told them to get lost because he simply didn't remember them. that he didn't remember minho. 

  "we warned you," the guard says once more before thomas enters the alley first, brenda and jorge following suit, minho entering last. 

  a stench fills minho's lungs, one that smells both familiar and reminds him just what environment he has put himself in. but all forgoes his mind when he sees some blonde hair in the distance. the fire nearby illuminating the side of his head. it's newt, it has to be newt is all that minho can possibly think. 

  "i told you bloody shanks to get lost!" 

  minho's face instantly falls, any hope that remains quickly diminishes to a point. "we need to talk to you newt, i- please," he looks around for a second, biting his lip as if it would magically make newt communicate with him.  he takes a few steps towards newt, bodies scattered around the floor. some are still clinging onto life, their bodies decaying. toes, fingers, ears, all missing. either from other cranks or from the disease finally overcoming their bodies.

  "don't come any closer, those thugs brought me here for a reason! said they were doing their civic duty when they brought me here. figured they didn't want to spread this brain eating disease!" newt turns to look at the group, a launcher clenched within his hands. 

  his eyes, full of malice, yet still sane, land on minho. for a second the runner thinks he could get through to newt, that maybe there's a chance that all of this could be changed. but instead he shakes his head, a slight satisfaction in his voice as he speaks again, "i got this from a guard that made me.. what's the word? oh yeah, unhappy!”

  "i'm not well," newt's eyes widen a little as he realized he yelled at minho, the only person who ever got him, "honestly, i appreciate you bloody shanks coming around for me. i do mean it. but this is where it ends. this is where you go back to the berg and you fly out of here. this place isn't meant for you, you gotta understand."

  thomas goes to say something, to counteract the self loathing that newt seems to be constantly consumed with. however, minho cuts him off, a sense of chaos and frustration boiling inside, "newt, i don't understand! we risked our lives to save you, i risked my life to save you. you're our friend! you're my friend and if you're going to go crazy, you're going to do it with us, not them!"

  newt lists the launcher up, taking a small step back. it rests comfortably in his hand, like he's done this a million times. the blaster faces minho's eyes. and it seems that if newt really wanted to, he could hit him right on the bridge of his nose.

  "i am a crank, minho! i'm a crank! why can't you get that through your bloody head? if you had the flare you sure as hell wouldn't want your... friends seeing you devolve into some bloodthirsty monster!" newt's speaking quickly evolved to that of a shout, his body shaking with every word.

  instead of saying anything back, minho simply held his mouth open, surprised. newt had been passionate before, he's had more than enough arguments with minho. but to shout and yell at him as though he's nothing? it sent a shock through his body that made him utterly speechless. 

  newt, upon seeing minho's softened expression, softens his own. his jaw relaxes, the launcher moving in his hand until it's pointing towards the ground. "i'm sorry.. you guys just need to go. i can't do this, i just can't do this with you..." newt's eyes don't leave minho's, "guys, i can't do this with all of you."

  no one else could've noticed it but the sentence was pointed towards minho. towards the boy who introduced him to the glade, albeit he didn't even know what it was either. towards the one that made more than enough memories to last a lifetime with him. 

  hearing newt speak this to him causes him to break his silence, "…we could still make a lot of memories together."

  "no, minho, you guys need to get out of here. just leave before anyone gets hurt, wicked could find you guys here. please leave, before i do anything i regret," newt's softness quickly leaves him, a deep regret and anger within his tone. 

  minho leans his head back, finally understanding that despite everything they've been through together, everything they've been to each other is gone. it's gone to the flare, it's gone to wicked, it's gone to every obstacle that the two of them initially overcame. the two of them had always been together... how could it come to an end so quickly?

  the teen took a few steps back, letting thomas say what he wants to newt. maybe he feels a pull to say something else and convince newt somehow. but in his heart he knows that newt's as stubborn as they come. as he follows thomas, brenda, and jorge out, he looks back once more. 

  to his surprise, newt's staring back. his eyes wide, some could say it's because of the flare. however, minho yearns for the idea that it's always been them and it always will be.

[thecleverqueer]

Random thoughts during Attack of the Clones:

*The second scene with all the Jedi in the Chancellors’ office is like a Clone Wars who’s who. Poor Barriss in the back of the room…brooding, being all angsty and gay. Her character was done hella dirty, but I have a theory on that which I may share later.

* Anakin’s attempts at flirting with women are painful. Ouch. Too bad this predates Ahsoka who could have absolutely given him pointers.

* I feel like Padme is disproportionately targeted by assassination attempts. I get she’s kind of outspoken, but holy f*^%, bounty hunters are trying to take her ass out constantly.

*I find it it creepy that Anakin was watching Padme sleep (or whatever). I would have covered the cameras if I were her as well.

* It’s pretty great that Obi-Wan catches Anakin’s lightsaber that Anakin dropped during a high-speed pursuit. Hella reflexes.

*”This weapon is your life.” -Obi-Wan when handing Anakin’s lightsaber back to him. This is a reoccurring theme, I feel. Fun Clone Wars fact: We see Jedi passing their weapons over to someone else twice in The Clone Wars series willingly: Once by Anakin who gives it to Padme. Once by Ahsoka who gives it to Barriss. Hmm.

* “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?”- Obi-Wan. Yikes with the foreboding.

*I appreciate the original Xbox graphics going on with that droid football game playing in the cantina. It really brings back some great memories of a time when playing games was so blocky and 32-bit.

* I like Dex. I bet the food in his diner is fire, but I bet the caf is awful. I’m also impressed that he knows about Kamino when no one else seems to at this point in the story.

* Attachments and possession is forbidden, but compassion is encouraged. I feel like attachment sort of comes with romance. Something about that chemical reaction in your brain that’s triggered… With that being said, Anakin interacting with Padmé is so, so awkward.

* “The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it.” - Queen Jamillia dropping gems of wisdom.

* Was this written by Incels? I mean, I’m really not clear how the “I don’t like sand” line somehow convinces Padmé to kiss Anakin for the first time, but maybe I need to start coming up with really, REALLY hokey lines to get girls to kiss me. I’ll let you know how it works out in the real world.

*RED FLAG ON THE FIELD. Anakin declares that he is a pro-dictatorial authoritarian fascist. She laughs it off like “he’s kidding”, and like, he legit says “I’d be much too frightened to tease a senator.” Baby girl. He’s problematic. You’re getting a sign that clearly is telling you to turn around, but you’re ignoring the signals.

*Fun Star Wars fact, those chunky tick-looking CGI animals that nearly trample Anakin in that awkward flirty scene are called Shaak (not to be confused with Shaak Ti, who is a hot, Togruta Jedi), and apparently, they’re tasty.

* Padmé seems to be very impressed by Anakin’s ability to float fruit around with the force. I can’t say I wouldn’t be turned on by someone just randomly wielding the force to impress me. Maybe.

* The scene between Anakin and Padmé where they’re discussing the kiss is a clear sign that he’s not going to be capable of letting go. The dark shadow cast across his face in this scene is kind of another foreboding moment too.

* Clones! Rex, Cody and Jesse are all down there some place preparing to go to war as Obi-Wan looks on.

* Slave One is a badass ship. That is all.

*I can’t help but wonder about Lars freeing, then marrying Shmi Skywalker. Did he do it out of the goodness of his heart? Was it a mutual thing? Or was Shmi originally purchased as his sex slave, and was she suffering from Stockholm syndrome? Why is my brain like this!?!

*Speaking of, Shmi’s death is tragic. Enter Vader.

*RED FLAG! RED FLAG!!! Holy blazes, Padme. Anakin just confessed to committing literal genocide by slaughtering an entire village of sand people. I’m pretty sure my instinct would be to roll out. That would be my cue. I mean, damn.

Anakin: I killed them. I killed them all. And not just the men, but the women and the children too. They’re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I hate them!

Me: Well, would you look at the time!? Gotta go!

Not Padmé. No. She tries to reason with it. It’s human to be angry. No, not like THAT! My god, man!! Jedi have to keep that shit in check as they can literally crush people with the force. FFS. You’re in danger, girl. RUN!

*The Geonosians creep me out. Seriously. Bugs, but with brains that are capable of producing weapons of mass destruction. There is also their ceremonious way of executing prisoners (Ancient Roman style) Not to worry, I guess. This method won’t work with Jedi. They’re like force-wielding gladiators on speed. Their deadly animals will be beast-tricked and killed.

* Shaak Ti! I am such a sucker for a Togruta. Here’s my number, holo me.

* Mace Windu’s lightsaber wielding style really is bad ass. The way that he just effortlessly beheads Jango Fett is something else.

* Every time I see Kit Fisto, I’m reminded of how he started off as a tadpole.. and it makes me chuckle. Also, his grin is fantastic.

* The C3-PO puns during this battle. Classic. Peak droid in a Star Wars film.

* I can’t help but wonder what happened to Jango’s head when Boba lifts his helmet and puts it against his forehead? I didn’t want it to plop out, but it probably should have. Is it still wedged into the helmet? Is poor Boba going to have to fish it out later (because we know he keeps it)?

*Folks always getting their arms chopped off.

*The Dooku/ Yoda lightsaber battle is epic, and may be slightly underrated.

* Begun the Clone War has. Poor Bail is like, “Damn.” And, we end with Padme ignoring all the red flags. The galaxy will pay for your discretions. Roll credits.

[jade-of-mourning]

hey! it’s your hopefully favorite anon again. genuinely thank you so much for responding to my asks and stuff. it’s so eloquently written and it feels like it’s actually mako’s grief in text form. that doesn’t really make sense but. reading that little cat blurb actually made me feel better. I cried. like. heavily. 😭

im glad you liked my goofy insane mentor-that-needs-a-mentor korra idea, even if you’re not going to use it. I actually had the thought while watching a video comparing korra and zuko. it’s not exactly a niche thought that ‘korra is aang’s successor and Zuko’s spiritual successor’ but then it struck me. zuko was the oldest member of the gaang (just a bit older than sokka, the former eldest) but he is still absolutely batshit reckless and insane so,,, what if i Korra’d it.

also,, triple threats,,, since I’ve already revealed that I like to fuck around with canon in every possible aspect. consider: au where bolin dies (this one came to me after seeing a video saying mako would probably… yk, himself, if Bo died) but instead of giving up or chasing whatever criminals got him/dedicating his life to helping other orphans/etc. he just. replaces zolt. and maybe he would have a zuko style redemption arc?? I’ve been listening to Brutus by The Buttress on loop too which has not been helping me escape. yk what would make the takeover even better? zolt has bolin killed to try and get a more firm grip on his chosen protégé (maybe even around the end of the events of republic city hustle) and mako finds out and just,,, absolutely bodies him. like some scraggly 15 y/o just fucking cold blood murders a crime syndicate boss and takes over and?? everyone’s like well ig he was bound to get there eventually. and there would be attempted takeovers obviously but this little fucker is like. nuh uh. you can have this as soon as I get bro back (never)

sorry I’ll stop going insane now. I think you should really listen to Brutus btw it is SO fire

-🐌

hi snailon! (i'm going to call you that. snail + anon mashed together!) you're my only anon so you're my favorite by default,,, but you'd be my favorite even if you weren't! and it's lovely to hear that my writing has helped you <33 also sorry this took a day to respond to whoops

(cont)

okay on the mentor!korra part — it is such a big brain idea that i might have to one day write an au on my au just for that alone LOL okay but korra is so zuko the same way mako is so katara!!! one day i'll talk about it i swear. the classic comparison of mako = zuko is just so Off and it bugs me haha it's really korra and it always has been. bryke is out there spreading false propaganda about their own show like wtf man

second, on the triple threats! see i was reading this and i was reminded of deerstalkerdeathfrisbee's the only thing we've ever organized is crime! (which is a BRILLIANT fic even if i don't really like wuko), except then your train of thought veered divergent so promptly that i was like. woah. woahhhh. i've always been partial for terrifying mobster boss!mako since reading this one a few years back and i wholeheartedly believe that if it weren't for bolin, mako could have very quickly devolved down a really bad path. i've seen it float around a lot of older posts, but to sum it up most succintly, mako made sure bolin survived and bolin made sure mako lived. and if bolin is gone? mako would not give two shits about trying to be a better person, and if bolin's death was of a tangible human person's doing… well. it would not end well for that person, let's say. that person being zolt would abolutely lead to mako promptly desecrating the man, and even if it wasn't a grab for power, i can totally see it proceeding to him actually becoming the teenage mob boss of the triple threats.

(ALSO STOP "this little fucker is like. nuh uh. you can have this as soon as I get bro back (never)" WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY this is so sad i'm laughing so hard)

but really; mako is just such a guy of asinine stubborness to survive, with the single-minded goal to protect bolin. if there's no one left to protect, and if bolin didn't just succumb to the horrors of their circumstance but was rather brutally murdered as an attempt to control mako himself, that asinine stubborness to survive could very easily translate into cold-blooded violence, and would come with an unnerving facade of quiet apathy while he's really simmering on the edge of a really bad breakdown at any given moment. the guilt would also be endless, and mako would probably project the personal villain so hard on every single member of the triple threats in his general vicinity. working under this angry/guilty/repressed/violent teenager would actually be the most terrifying thing ever.

continuing your ask from last time because i realized i never addresssed this part —

I just had another brain worm sorry. so remember how I was talking about korra potentially being a guiding adult-ish figure in the avatar mako au. what if baby bending brothers. and either lin/tenzin/whoever or them and the other 2 krew members,, taking care of little gang monster and his brother,, and addressing some of the insane trauma and helping him heal and build a stable life,,,

i do love child acquisition, but for tiny feral children! mako and bolin really could've been the most unhinged trauma children of all time and i don't think that any adult on the show would actually be able to handle them as they were except probably pema. tenzin would try his best but i think that he would very easily get overwhelmed and a certain phase of mako would probably incessantly insult him with the deliberate intention to rile him up — and admittedly, tenzin has more of a temper than he'd like to admit, so i just think they'd be at odds a lot to an almost dangerous amount. (but ig i'm exploring that in the actual fic lol) i think mako as a kid would be considerably more abrasive than his is now and far more distrusting and paranoid, to an extent that i don't think that there are a lot of adults in lok that would be well equipped to handle that. (maybe kya? i could see both of them taking to kya actually. that would be funny. maybe i'll write kya into this au.) i do think that bolin could easily get all of them wrapped around his finger, lin grudgingly (and i think she'd be the sort to hold a reluctant affection for prickly loser boy mako).

also idk how i missed it initially but throwing teenaged korrasami into the mix makes it funny though. they would manage the pair of them so badly. (i'm sorry it is cute but i personally don't believe in babysitter!korra and definitely not babysitter!asami.) korra would be in a physical brawling session with mako the little punk ass bitch if asami looks away for one minute because bolin will not stop crying and mako is now trying to bite her head off because that's his little brother. bolin just thinks these two cool older girls are super neat and not at all demanding of his respect so he just incessantly says the most batshit insane things at them while mako is just like. hmm wealthy girl. i am full of anger at life i think i will project that onto you because to me you represent everything i hate about society, i've decided. meanwhile asami is just so confused because she's literally just being her sweet self and this random mobster street kid pema found won't stop giving her a look like he wants to fillet her

sorry none of this post makes any sense at all my head is OVERFLOWING i am UNHINGED thank you for enabling me once again <333 you'll never be a bother also yes i will go listen!

[teriwrites]

Preptober Vol. 1

AKA in which Teri actually talks about writing

Forgive the rambling, it's been a minute since I've actually sat down to write something for tumblr.

It’s that time of year again, when leaves are changing and Spooky Season is in full swing and I realize I need to get myself into shape for NaNoWriMo next month.

This year feels a little different, and I think I've reached a crossroads with my relationship to NaNo. It's year 13 for me, which means officially over half the Novembers of my life will have been spent dedicated to writing stories. And while I absolutely love the tradition, I think I've started looking at it less as a year-by-year event and more how it fits into my life long-term.

Just about every year, I've gone about NaNo in a very traditional way: come up with a story idea, outline it and prep in October, and then write 50K+ words towards that idea in November. And I love doing that, I think I could continue writing that way for a long time.

But where I'm at with my writing, I have less free time and energy to dedicate to it outside of November, so at this point, I'm sitting on a pile of WIPs that I'd love to continue. But with NaNo typically comes an influx of new ideas, and it's all getting a little too crowded in my head to think I can actually hold onto all of them.

This is a very rambley way of saying that I think I need to start looking at NaNo a little differently. Writing new stories every November is fun, but it's a little less exciting now that I've done it 12 times over than when I was just starting out. It's something that's comfortable, I could continue it, but NaNo's role was always to push me to take steps in my writing that I never had the discipline to do myself. And while that used to mean actually plotting and putting words down for ideas that floated around in my head, now I think I'd be better served by using the structure of it to move myself forwards in stories I already have written towards.

All of this to say that I'm stuck between pushing myself to write the second draft of Beyond Alder Creek during November (which will mean a nasty fight against my inner editor but at least will finally be forcing me to work on it) or adding more to my first draft of The Lies in the Legend.

There's also a chance I'll cave and work on a new idea that's been bouncing around my brain for a month or two, but I'm hoping I can hold off on it this year.

I guess we'll see! But I really do need to make a decision soon, either option is going to take a decent amount of prep time lol

tl;dr Teri decides to be a NaNo Rebel and has a Lot of thoughts about it