#needed to get this study out of the way tho.. not only for my reference but for others' too!

[kuhatoarchive]

tifa is, romantically speaking, emotionally unavailable for a significant portion of her life (teens-early twenties). i’ll elaborate on it below, discussing issues of gender roles, objectification, idealization, and intimacy with it. 

    nibelheim is a place that upholds “old traditions”, and this includes gender roles. there’s the belief that a woman’s happiness depends on the man she will spend her life with, and tifa, as the sole girl of her generation, grows extremely anxious over the notion; if divorce is frowned upon and considered a personal failure, then she ought to choose wisely— which turns into not choosing at all, both in her time at nibelheim and midgar (but we’ll get there in a bit). clearly, this puts a dent on her ability to make sentimental decisions of this nature.

    in small villages, kids have a limited pool of contemporaries to choose from, so it’s almost an unspoken agreement that they should all hang out with each other. tifa plays into this, of course. however, as they all start growing, she starts to notice that she’s not only being approached for being their age, but also for what she could possibly represent: a girlfriend, a wife. tifa is notoriously uninterested in any advances, but, in the spirit of not forsaking the only bonds she has (and can have) in town, she learns to fake obliviousness or gently turn down advances. by this point in time, she becomes familiar with the value and subsequent idealization placed on her. i also think that her own father’s overprotectiveness (out of love, yes, but still a little overwhelming) post thea lockhart’s death informs tifa of the ways men can be kind of... possessive, and she sees that too in other nibelheim marriages. why wouldn’t she be intimidated?

    traces of two pasts* mentions: “[Tifa] disliked whenever [adults] brought up how her body looked so grown. There would be someone who sensed her discomfort or resentment, and would try to change the subject, but then it would turn into whom she should be with and things of that nature.” two things to note here, which are frustrations that will further estrange her from romance: 1) her aversion to her body being a point of conversation, which only worsens as her body matures even further and makes it hard to believe her appearance isn’t solely why she’s pursued (hello objectification); 2) just how sick she grows from romantic relationships being such a focus of conversations her way, which, while not ill-intentioned, still make her feel confined. these conversations’ timing coincide with her self-improving via zangan’s training, when her focus is solely on herself and what she’s good at doing/wants to do in the future.

   so, ironically, the incessant talk about partnership only drives her away further from the idea, and she certainly gets scrutinized for it as she grows older: “tifa is at that age, she’s pretty/kind/polite, she can cook/clean/tend to ppl/etc, why doesn’t she have a partner?” i think these sentiments are especially prevalent when she lives in midgar. it’s worth noting that she only gets the tools to deconstruct the gender roles she was raised with while living in the city (though obviously midgar upholds some of them too, but regardless, the diversity of backgrounds helps to broaden her vision), but, by then, pursuing or even looking for a romantic interest is… not even on her list (what with running 7th heaven and helping AVALANCHE). she most certainly gets a bit of fame from rejecting all advances her way, especially at the bar, but she can’t help it; she’s so used to being idealized that she’s almost convinced her pursuer will change their mind once they know her better and realize she’s not just those good traits— her insecurities, her traumas, her depression, her temper (which is notably less meek and more volatile than people tend to acknowledge lmao, especially as a teen).

    evidently, her teens-early twenties are marked by being pursued the same way one seeks a prize, and in response, she becomes averse to it. this all results in tifa… not experiencing any sort of romantic emotional/physical intimacy when reaching adulthood, and it makes the prospect of doing so all the more intimidating. add to that the dizzying journey she’s thrust into during the main game and, well, there’s no time and nor does she have the headspace to establish a relationship; it can only happen post main game. 

* even if the writing is more remake-oriented, there are some entries in "Traces of Two Pasts: Episode Tifa" that i'm going to reference in my main verse (most worldbuilding-related), since there’s enough wiggle room on the more unexplored parts of tifa’s past in nibelheim (and nibelheim altogether). i’m making a post highlighting these specific points soon enough!

[abbyshands]

Good nigth darling,you're okay?can we have more nerdy!abby pleaase i beg you 🙏🙏🙏(srry for my inglish)

teach me

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

a/n; hello, my love! i’m good, and i hope you are too! of course EEK i was going to write more for her anyway, i love a nerdy girl. also this is cut off asf I’M SORRY i’m tired, maybe i’ll do a part 2 if y’all ask <3

synopsis; you’ve never been good at science, let alone college biology. when your professor all but forced you to get a tutor, who should you end up with but your nerdy girlfriend, who has a very unique way of getting you to study?

pairing; dom!abby anderson x sub!fem!reader

warnings; abby uses baby/princess, use of a strap-on, cockwarming + edging (kinda), abby refers to the strap as her dick and it’s referred to as her dick/cock, choking, spanking, degradation (ish. abby’s tone is just mean), anddd i prob missed smt so lmk <3

wc; 2.2k

p.s.; ALSO this is was ib an ellie fic i saw bro idk where tf it is 😭 searching for it tho. i js remember it was nerdy ellie. it was so good BUT LIKE WHERE IS ITTT idk i’ll link it here if i find it

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

you’ve always sucked at science. biology, chemistry, whatever the hell it was, it had never been your cup of tea.

your professor had not so kindly recommended you get a tutor. otherwise, your grades would decline (more than they already were, that is). you didn't want a tutor, let alone for it to be someone you didn't know. you were already feeling awkward enough having to have someone tutor you at all—you couldn't imagine if it was by an unfamiliar.

that's where abby came in.

abby anderson was your girlfriend, and she was a nerd. like, cliche movie nerd. if you couldn't find her in her dorm, with you, or in class, she was at the library, doing homework until she couldn't anymore. she was a coffee addict with how late she was up each evening, study sessions, unnecessarily reviewing, and, again, homework.

let's just say, abby anderson would do crazy things for an a.

you didn't necessarily want to have abby as your tutor. for some reason, it was embarrassing to you. you had already felt that way when you told her you needed one at all. it would be 10x worse if she would be the one doing it.

not only that, the focus.

how the fuck were you going to focus when you have abby fucking anderson in front of you? when your mind races with memories of her fucking you from behind, or kissing down your neck, or making you the wettest you've ever been, just by being alive?

you weren't.

but abby was persistent. you had originally said no when she first asked to tutor you, but when the guy who was supposed to tutor you didn't even show for your first session, it was no longer a request.

it was a demand.

you were sitting beside abby in her dorm, working on an assignment for your biology class that was due the following day. you had taken up to ten breaks by now, and it had only been an hour and a half or so.

abby pushed her glasses up on her face as she looked over at you, eyebrow raised. you had been dozing off, elbow on the desk and chin on your palm as your eyes began to fall shut.

"hey," abby snapped her large hand in front of your face, making your eyes open again just as quickly as it had happened. "are you listening to me?"

no.

"yeah. yeah, sorry, i just, um—dna and rna. that's what we're learning now, right?" you ask confusedly, doing your best to make it seem like you know what you’re talking about.

but the look on abby's face tells you all you need to know.

"mhm, like, ten minutes ago," abby hums a bit annoyedly, and you can't help but let out a sigh. it's bad enough you have to be here at all, but letting abby down, or worse, pissing her off, was the last thing you wanted to do. “you're never going to learn if you don't put any effort in," she sighs.

“c’mon, abs,” you whined as you set your pencil aside, putting your head down on the desk, eyes on abby. the blonde set her own pen down with a small shake of the head, expression unreadable. “i can’t do this anymore,” you said dramatically. abby rolled her eyes.

“what’s wrong now?” abby asked, but it’s not like she really wanted to know the answer. you knew how seriously abby took her own schoolwork, which may be the reason she was annoyed that you didn’t. but you just weren’t like that.

“none of this makes sense. i can’t remember a thing we go over. god, i hate biology,” you complained once more, looking away from abby.

abby sighed as she put a hand on your shoulder. as much as she wanted to be annoyed, she loved you, and she knew full well that even if you were smart, biology was your worst class.

“what can i do to help, baby? flashcards, d’you want me to quiz you? what do you need?” abby asked as she moved her hand to your back, rubbing it. you shrugged.

“i dunno. i don’t think any of that stuff is going to help me, abby. my memory’s—not that good,” you lamely huffed, but it was true. your memory was best when it came down to the things you cared for. college biology was not one of them.

“hm,” abby hummed. it took a beat, a small pause. but then, abby’s perked eyebrows told you that she had just gotten an idea, and so did the way her plump lips curled into a grin.

“i think i know what’ll do the trick.”

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

that’s how you ended up on abby’s lap, her cock buried deep inside of you as she gripped you by the bottom. abby’s way of bettering your sour memory came in the form of one of the most agonizing experiences you had ever had.

“how does dna differ from rna?” abby asks you casually, as if she isn’t filling you to the brim. you feel your face getting hot, bottom lip bitten down on as you look at her nervously.

“u- uhm. d- dna has a d- double helix model, fuck,” you whine. you must be at least a little correct, because abby bucks her hips up into you, causing the silicone dildo to move inside of you. “rna’s single, a- and involved in a different process than dna.”

“attagirl,” abby praised. it’s then that she grabbed you by the ass, hard, and forced you to ride up to the top of her dick, just before she’s slamming you back down. for only a few seconds, you gain some pleasure by moving your body like that, or abby doing it for you, that is.

but then, she’s robbing it away from you, just like that.

“a- abby, please, c’mon,” you whimper. this had been going on for a third of an hour or so. abby would ask you a question from the deck of index cards she had made for you, and you would answer. simple, right?

wrong.

because here's the thing: she wouldn’t move unless you answered her, and it had to be correct. and if not?

smack.

abby's large hand comes down on your ass as if to shut you up. really, it doesn't. you let out a moan as she then grabs your ass again, not giving a care to how sore you may be.

because she's already slapped you way too many times to count.

“don't act like this isn't for your own good," she says firmly, reprimanding you. "you got that one wrong last time. and we’re not going to stop until you’ve got that whole fucking deck memorized, you got that?” she asks, signaling to the forgotten pile of index cards on the desk behind you. you whine, body too achy for abby to deny her.

“f- fine," you whine, because who the hell would you be to say no?

“good girl," abby praises as she rubs her hands over your bottom, caressing you in a loving manner, a wide difference to the way she was addressing you mere seconds before. "now, can you tell me what a neuron is?”

doing your best to not focus on the feeling inside you, you nod, and easily answer. “a- a neuron—" you huff. "is a specialized cell.”

abby moves her hands to your hips and pushed you up, so that you're around halfway down on her cock. you let out a small shudder, but it must mean you're correct. “and what’s it do?” abby then asks.

to some degree.

but you know this one. after all, it was one of the last cards you looked at in the deck. so, you respond, “transmit.”

abby moves you up more, and this time, she brings one of her hands up to cup your tit. she plays with your nipple if only for a second, causing you to let out a low moan. but just when you think she's going to keep going, of course, she doesn't.

“transmit what?” she asks firmly as her fingers caress your rib cage, and it's all you can do not to roll your eyes.

“nerve impulses," you say a bit too fast, eager to have her hands back on you. your neediness helped you on that one. "i- it’s the basic unit of the nervous system," you add, for good measure.

"that's right, princess," abby smirked, course she did. she had always had way too much fun when she was driving you crazy during sex. this was no different.

but you're pleased to find yourself rewarded, because abby allows you to ride her again. you move up and down a little quickly, scared that your girlfriend will rob you of the feeling before it's even begun. abby begins to rub your clit as she gazes at you fucking yourself on her dick, way too needy for her touch.

"eager girl," abby cooed, rubbing her index on your clit in quick circles. "so needy for my cock, aren't you?"

"yes," you huff out fast, eyes closing shut at the feeling under you.

"too bad."

abby shoves you all the way back down her dick, so that you're all the way back down at the base. it pleasures you for only a second, before the feeling vanishes, just like that.

"abby, f- fuck," you groan annoyedly, body begging for a release you know abby won't give you unless you do what she tells you to do.

and she doesn't like your words.

abby grabs you by the neck, forcing you to look at her as you roll your eyes in the brattiest manner she's ever seen from you. "look at me. look at me when i'm talking to you," and she uses that tone you know she only uses when she's not playing games, barking your full name out at the end like the word pains her tongue.

once she's got your eyes on her, she speaks once more. "if you really want this dick, and i know you do, you're gonna take what i give you like the good girl you are. that clear?"

you keep your eyes on her, scared of what will happen if you don't, face hot as you answer. "y- yes, ma'am."

"primary use of the kidneys?" abby asks, not even giving you praise for obeying her. but you're not at all surprised by that: if there was one thing about abby, she did not like your bratty side.

this time, unlike what abby's asked you before, you can't remember the answer to this. like, at all. you fumble with it for a second, digging through your head for what it could be. but you don't get a response.

"i- i don't know," you dumbly stutter, genuinely unsure of what to say. abby isn't having it, obviously, because one mlre spank is coming down onto your ass before you know it.

"f- fuck!" you whine brokenly, head rocking back, and bottom sore from each hit abby's given you. she doesn't seem to care.

"yes, you do," she all but growls at you, and you think of your real class all too quickly, like she's your professor. "we went over this. so fucking tell me," she says, and it only makes your abdomen churn more.

and fill with butterflies.

“s- something to do with b- blood pressure, right? c- controlling it? please say yes," you were begging more to yourself than to abby, not even sure where that answer came from.

“mhm, and what else?" she coos, doing what she's done a million times before: moving you halfway up her cock.

"i- i don't know, abs. can't remember," you mutter, and really, how could you by now?

it looks like abby is feeling a little generous this time, because she helps you along. "what’s it do to your body, princess? begins with an 'r',” she asked.

even when your brain begins to fog up with all of the questions in your head, and what's happening besides that, it seems to click for you when abby says the letter 'r.' “r- regulates it? th- the fluid balance?”

“mhm," abby says with a small nod of approval, even kissing your chest this time as a reward.

"there’s my smart girl.”

and it goes on like that forever, question, answer, question, answer. sometimes, you got abby's cock easily. most times, you weren't so lucky.

your eyes are drooping, body aching and face hot as you stutter out the answer to the final card in the deck. once you do, you let out a deep, long exhale, which makes abby chuckle.

"see, pretty girl? wasn't that bad, was it?" abby coos, putting her hand up to cup your cheek. obviously, you want to say no. but after all of this, it was too risky to be bratty to abby. so you shake your head.

and you hadn’t even finished yet.

"n- no, it was—fine," you lie, and abby knows you are. but she doesn't ask about it, knowing full well how much she's done to you already.

"look on the good side.”

“you'll remember better now, won't you?"

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

reblogs are very much welcomed <3

———

[ijwtbap]

ㅤㅤ★ㅤA promise — Bakugō

— Bakugō x GN! reader.

You like Katsuki, he likes you — is a fact not a maybe. He doesn't seem to believe it thought.

a/n. I had to keep my promise ig. Is VERY short so im sorry, also Im bad at english and is my first one shot so have some mercy plz.

You were going insane. Just a little bit. Well, actually, you were ready to rip out your hair and scream into the void, standing naked as flames consumed you. That's kind of insane.

Every time Bakugō referred to you as his friend—even if he only said you weren’t that annoying and didn’t mind having you around (which was close enough)—you wanted to disappear.

You had done everything but treat him platonically. Sure, you could see how holding hands, cuddling, or crying together might seem platonic. But kissing in bed and saying “I love you” in a completely serious way?

You were completely lost.

At first, you thought it was a joke, then maybe just a game to him.

But now? Now you’re convinced he’s just... dense.

You could tell Bakugō you love him dead serious while looking him dead in the eyes, on your knees and with a big sign that said 'plz marry me,' and he would still think you're joking.

And it was killing you.

"Are you going to study or what?"

You were in his bedroom, "studying." Yeah, right—studying. You just wanted to be there with him. You’d barged in without warning, and yet, he hadn’t even questioned your presence.

"No."

You knew he liked you back. There was no way he didn't, but fuck, he refused to acknowledge it.

"I like you."

His eyes widen for a second before he looks back at his notes.

"Shut up."

"I really do, tho."

"Yeah, whatever."

"I love you."

"If you don't stop, I will kick you out."

"I love you."

" __________ "

"I love you so much."

"Stop it."

"I want to marry you, one day when we're adults. Small or big wedding, or none at all, whatever you prefer."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

You two look at each other, him holding his pen so hard that it looks like it's about to break and you looking at him as if he were the most wonderful and prettiest dense idiot you have seen in your life.

"What do you need me to do to make you believe me?"

He ignores you. Mostly because he knows that paying attention to you would just make him more annoyed (because you clearly weren't going to stop) and because he didn't want to accept it.

"Die."

A small smile comes to your mouth. How many people would get offended by that? A lot, but you knew Bakugō didn't mean it.

"You want to recreate Given now?"

Bakugō rolls his eyes, making more notes in his notebook, but you were able to notice a small smirk.

You had forced him to watch it a couple of months ago, and he swears he didn't cry. You knew the truth, though.

"Shut up."

"Shut me up yourself, you coward."

He lets out another scoff, and he continues to avoid your eyes.

"Study already."

You loved Bakugō Katsuki, and he loved you back.

No matter how much time it would take you, you were going to make sure to take his last name and hold his hand in a not-platonic way.

One day.

"I love you."

I totally didn't use like 3 grammar online correctors, and re read this like 20 times (It will still have an issue, and I know it). I also didn't copy inspired my introduction (?) from a random post.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my bad writing style. Im not doing this again, unless I get REALLY bored.

521 words.

[ros3ybabeslanguages]

Language Resources 🎀

*that I currently use for studying Spanish. When I pick up studying Japanese again, I will make a list for that as well <3 I currently use a handful of resources for learning Spanish, and they've all proven very useful so far!

🩷 My Current Resources for Spanish

Busuu - hands down my favorite language learning app. So much better than Duolingo, in my opinion (especially for languages with a different alphabet/writing system). I bought the premium for a year, which will expire in Septmeber, but I'm debating renewing again because I love it so much.

LingQ - I like using this for reading in Spanish. It gives me different types of things to read about, and while I don't have premium, I do put all the words I don't know into flashcards on AnkiApp on my laptop and translate anything I don't know using SpanishDict.

SpanishDict - favorite translation/dictionary app. I know it has lessons you can use, tho I haven't tried it yet, but I really do love this app. It's super helpful when I'm making flashcards or writing random vocabulary notes.

Goodnotes - This is a general note-taking app, but I love it because it allows you to import and write on PDFs, and that's just perfect for me! I've downloaded free PDF short stories/children's stories in Spanish and made notes of words I don't know, and taken notes in the app too. Definitely my favorite notes app, ever.

Italki - I know this is a website, too, but I use the app. It lets you work with professional teachers/community tutors in your target language. You can have structured lessons or just use it for conversation practice. I did a trial lesson not too long ago and have an upcoming lesson booked out in about 5 days. You pay per lesson, so there is no subscription, and there are so many languages and teachers/tutors to choose from. I did a lot of research before choosing a teacher, and I'm very happy with my decision so far. Definitely useful if there's not native speakers near you or you're like me and not confident talking to people you know in your target language/their native language.

Quizlet/AnkiApp - I use AnkiApp more then quizlet, and the Anki I'm referring to is NOT the same way everyone else uses, but it's the flashcard app of preference at the moment. I tried the AnkiDroid app and hated it. But yeah, AnkiApp is useful for flashcards and I really like it. I have it on my Chromebook and my Ipad.

Netflix - I love watching shows in Spanish on Netflix so much. I am currently watching La Reina del Sur on it (used to watch that sporadically in the past at a friend's house) and plan on watching some other shows, including Elite.

Spotify - I enjoy listening to Spanish music and podcasts right now. The music is more of an entertaining/enjoyable fork of audio input, and the podcasts help me get a feel for speaking and pronunciation and I choose podcasts that speak on topics of interest tk help with vocabulary in those areas I'd like to be able to speak about.

Textbooks - I have 2 PDF textbooks, Gramatica de Uso del Español: A1-B2 and Gramatica de Uso del Español: B1-B2. I've heard these are great for learning Spanish (and they're both only written in Spanish, like there's no English in them) and plan on using them once I figure out how to take good and useful textbook notes! I definitely need to improve on my grammar.

Those are all my current Spanish resources! I'd definitely say my current level is like a high A1 right now, nearing A2, but I have just a little bit of work to do before I get there. These resources are definitely gonna help, tho!

[clonedchaos]

Okay, so— like.

I’m doing drag queen/king camp this week and HOLY CRAP I did not realize the amount of thought and effort that goes into this work of art. Like, kudos to all the drag icons because it’s only day one and I’m scrambling to try and figure everything out.

All I know is I am neither drag king or queen, I am a drag thing. At least, that’s what they’re referring to it as.

Like, I want my performance to confuse the heck out of the audience over what my persona’s gender is. Are they male? Female? Nonbinary? Yes and no all at the same time.

I feel like that’s part of the idea I want to portray here. I’m a cis female (I don’t care if ppl refer to me as “they” irl or online tho, it doesn’t bother me), but I always referred to myself as a “tomboy” growing up for one reason or another. I want this character to challenge the very gender roles that we as a society fostered into being. Breaking boundaries and being between the lines of what constitutes as a “man” or a “woman”, that’s what I want my persona to represent. They don’t fit into any one category, simply because they don’t need to. They’re just a person. A silly goober, if you will.

As for the fit— thanks to my friend’s advisement — I’m thinking of a 1940s Flapper Dress paired with some more masc attire in shoes, makeup, and maybe hat and tie. It would be very fun and something I’d honestly wear outside of drag. Like DANG 1940s fits are FIRE 🔥! I can get a top hat, add the feathers, wear the gloves, etc. (Yes my friends told me I should make the drag outfit Batim inspired since it’s my fixation and maybe this is my excuse for that, but I really do enjoy the Golden Era of film and media culture of that time period. Either way it works in my favor)

And, of course, I couldn’t resist taking some inspiration from Luz’s Grom outfit from The Owl House. Can you blame me though? I mean, look at it!

Very demure, very mindful, very slay. 💅

Coming up with names and a personality is something I’m going to have to come up with later in the week when I have more time. :3

So sorry if I’m not as active on any of my accounts this week. I’ll try to write when I can, but I have a lot on my plate between work, school, and planning my drag persona and performance. Maybe I’ll ramble more about this if anyone is interested. For now… I need to study (Y’all I was sick all last week and didn’t go to school and apparently I have an exam tomorrow that I didn’t study for I’m SO cooked 🙏😭)

[whoslai]

Off The Menu - Lee Heeseung (Chapter 5)

genre: angst, fluff, slow-ish burn, eventual smut!! (you’re responsible for what you consume, read at your own risk)

warnings: unprotected sex, overstimulation (f), slightly angsty but not really, don’t wanna spoil too much. ⚠️

send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged! thank you to all my new followers, you guys are amazing for supporting me. please interact and give me as much feedback as you’d like (don’t be an ass tho, no need to spread negativity.

authors note: this chapter took me so long to write, i’m so so sorry. this is more of a filler ykwim..more to come

word count: 7k

link to series masterlist or whatever

Chapter 5: “Let Me Love You”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼✼　 ҉ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼✼　 ҉ 　✼✼　 ҉ 　✼

‘Dating’ Heeseung wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. As strong as your feelings were for him, he wasn’t the most catering partner in the world. But could you even truly call him your boyfriend? Not once had he referred to you as his girlfriend nor had he even bothered to ask you out OFFICIALLY.

During the time you spent with him over winter break, you’d wanted to ex out other women from his life but you slowly came to realize that almost all of the contacts in his phone were women. And not to mention all the workers at his job were ALSO all women. It was a lost cause so you completely gave that stupid idea up.

As much thought and consideration you’d put into getting Hana out of his life, getting the women out of his contacts, it was pointless.

However, you couldn’t dwell on it too much. As much as you’d thought about him, you were back to school throughout the day, studying all night, and taking tests at the end of the week.

Second semester was always the hardest to get through for you. You’d often burn out by March and have to cry your way through May. So, with the combination of Heeseung’s lack of intimate communication and your homework, you were slowly falling apart.

Worrying about why he wasn’t answering his phone to cramming studying in…it wasn’t going well for you. You also had yet to get a refill on your medication, and you could feel the world around you crumbling into small pieces…but you just couldn’t afford a refill. The plane ticket you’d bought to go home took just about all of your money. It’s not like you had a job, you couldn’t just buy what you want. And you wouldn’t dare ask Heeseung to buy it for you, you’d yet to ask him to get you anything. You were afraid he’d say no. While there wasn’t anything that led you to believe he’d say no, it was just a hunch.

But again, you couldn't deny that Heeseung's lack of commitment was starting to contribute to the downfall of your health. As much as you wanted him to be your boyfriend, you couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same way. It was frustrating not knowing where you stood in the relationship, and it made you feel insecure and unsure.

With schoolwork and personal struggles piling up, you couldn't dwell on him too much. You spent many long hours studying and taking tests, leaving little time for anything else, specifically him.

The days continued to go by, you found yourself struggling to keep up with everything. You would try to call or text Heeseung for support, but he would often take hours to respond, leaving you feeling even more anxious and alone.

One night, you caved and texted him.

Taking a deep breath, you placed your phone down on your nightstand and stared ahead. You hoped he wouldn’t take hours to respond to you as he normally did as you needed to get your thoughts off your chest as soon as possible.

Your phone vibrated after a while, and you slowly picked it back up.

Slowly, you typed back.

You read over your texts, waiting for his response. His typing bubble popped up, only to be quickly stricken away. His side of the chat stayed empty for a while, and then he replied.

Taking another deep breath, you looked up at your ceiling and thought about a response. You didn’t want to accuse him of anything nor did you want to downplay what you felt.

Frustrated tears fell from your eyes as you read his last message. How could he be treating you like this? Just a few weeks ago, everything was fine and you were cuddled up in his arms. You didn’t want him to just…act like this. Surely something else was wrong.

You rang his phone, glancing over at your sleeping roommate before you made your way out to the common area. He answered with a loud sigh on the other end of the call.

“What is it, Y/N?” he asked. “I don’t feel like arguing about this.”

You sniffed, wiping your tears, “I don’t want to argue either, Heeseung. I just don’t understand why you’re being so mean to me.”

“I’m not being mean.” He said. I have other priorities right now. I can't just drop everything to make you feel better.”

“You are being mean.” you whined. “I asked you to put more effort into talking to me, and you blatantly told me that you're not willing to change to help me feel some type of reassurance.”

“Look, Y/N, I'm sorry if I'm not meeting your expectations, but I have my own life to live,” Heeseung retorted, his tone becoming more defensive. “I can't just be at your beck and call all the time.”

“I'm not asking you to be at my beck and call,” you protested. “I just want to feel like you care about me.”

Heeseung replied, his voice growing more impatient. “I have my own way of doing things, and if you can't accept that, then maybe we're not meant to be together.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you realized how stubborn he was being. “So, you're just going to give up on us because you can't be bothered to show me a little bit of affection?”

“Not what I said.” Heeseung sighed. “I'm just saying that you can't expect me to change who I am just to make you happy.”

“I'm not asking you to change who you are,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “I'm just asking you to show me that you care about me.”

“Well, I don't know what else to say,” Heeseung said with a hint of annoyance. “I'm doing the best I can, but if that's not good enough for you, then maybe we should just end this.”

You felt your heart break as you realized that he was serious. “So that’s it? Only a few weeks into a relationship and you’re already willing to end it?” you cried, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Y/N, it's not about the length of our relationship,” Heeseung said, his tone softening slightly. “It's about whether we can make it work in the long run. And if we can't find a way to meet each other's needs, then maybe it's better to end things now before we get too invested.”

“But I don't want to end things,” you said, feeling desperate. “I just want us to work on our communication and show each other that we care.”

“Sometimes it feels like you want too much.” Heeseung said, his voice sharp. “Before we even dated, you asked too much of me.

You felt a pang of hurt as you heard him say that. “What do you mean I want too much? I just want a healthy, loving relationship. Is that too much to ask for?”

“I'm not saying that it is,” Heeseung replied, his tone becoming more defensive. “But you have to understand that I have limitations too. I can't always be there for you every second of the day.”

“I know that,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “But I just want us to make time for each other and show that we care.”

“I care about you, kid.” Heeseung said, his tone odd. “More than you might think.”

“It doesn’t feel like you do.” You admitted to him, feeling hurt from the lack of remorse in his voice.

“I’ve done a lot for you, to keep you happy…in my own way, of course. I could just stop trying completely, but you wouldn’t like that, right?” He said. “Or are you going to freak out like last time and threaten to fuck someone else again?”

Taking a deep breath in, you shook your head at his words. “You didn’t have to bring that up.”

“Why not? I’m allowed to bring stuff up just like you are.” he said. “If you can attack me over my behavior, I’ll do the same.”

“You know what, just forget it.” You said. “I’m done.”

“Okay, bye.” He said, hanging up the phone.

You felt hurt and frustrated as the call ended so abruptly. You couldn't believe that he would bring up something from the past just to hurt you. You knew that communication was key in any relationship, but you couldn't keep having these kinds of conversations with him. It was draining and emotionally exhausting.

As you sat there, feeling lost and alone, you realized that maybe it was time for you to bring the issue to him in person. The constant texts and calls weren’t fulfilling your concerns, you needed to see his face, see if he had any genuine reaction to what you said…or if he truly did lack remorse for your tears.

With a heavy heart, you walked back to your room and grabbed your keys. Your feet carried you to your car as your mind remained in a state of tunnel vision, unable to stop yourself from speeding to his house, afraid that that conversation over the phone may be your last.

You drove in silence, tightly gripping onto the wheel as you passed through each individual city, surrounded by the moon, the stars, and occasional street lights.

The appearance of a beach signaled that you were close to Malibu, and you retraced your steps to his house.

You looked around his neighborhood before pulling into the parking garage, making your way to the door and inputting the code. It was nearly 4 in the morning, you were unsure of whether he was even still awake as about 2 hours had passed since you’d talked to him, but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to see him, to talk to him, face to face.

You made your way up the stairs to his apartment, and found it, knocking on the door. You wait for a bit, not hearing footsteps on the other side of the door, so you knock again.

Still no answer. You stood there, feeling the weight of disappointment and rejection settling in your chest. Did he ignore your calls and texts, only to avoid you in person too? You couldn't help but feel foolish for coming all the way here, but something inside you refused to give up just yet.

You tried calling him again, but it went straight to voicemail. You left a message, telling him that you were outside his door and that you needed to talk to him. You waited a few more minutes, hoping he would come to the door, but there was still no response.

Feeling defeated, you turned to leave, you heard a sound from inside the apartment. It was faint, but unmistakable - the sound of someone shuffling around.

Your heart leapt in your chest as you knocked on the door again, this time louder. After a few moments, you heard the sound of the lock turning, and the door slowly creaked open.

There he was, standing in front of you, his eyes bleary with sleep and his hair disheveled. He looked surprised to see you, but didn't say anything.

You took a deep breath, gathering your courage. "Can we talk?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He looked at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. He glanced behind him, before making his way out of his place and closed the door behind him, leaning against it as he looked down at you. “Y/N…don’t tell me you drove all the way over here this late at night…”

You looked up at him, feeling a mix of emotions. You were hurt, frustrated, and exhausted, but you were also determined to make things right. "I had to," you replied, your voice shaking slightly. "I couldn't keep having these conversations over the phone. I needed to see you, to talk to you in person."

He shook his head, “No, you can’t just drive to my house like this.”

You felt your heart sink at his words, and a knot formed in your stomach. "I know," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just...I didn't know what else to do. I had to see you."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I understand that," he said. "But you can't just show up like this. It's not fair to me.”

You nodded, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You knew he was right, but you couldn't help feeling like you had no other option. "I'm sorry," you said softly. “I just..I just want you to want me the same way I want you.”

He sighed, “I do want you, Y/N," he said, his voice gentle. “But now is not a good time.”

“I can’t come in?” You asked him, “Why not? Am I supposed to drive all the way back to campus?”

“You drove all the way here…I’m sure you can drive back.” He said, tapping his fingers against the door, occasionally glancing behind you.

“I can’t believe you right now.” You huffed, “Can I at least use the bathroom?”

He hesitated for a moment before nodding, stepping aside to let you in. You walked past him, feeling a mix of relief and apprehension as you entered his apartment. It was dark and quiet, and you couldn't help feeling like an intruder as you made your way to the bathroom. You closed the door behind you, taking a deep breath as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You couldn't deny the tears that were streaming down your face, and you couldn't help feeling like you'd made a mistake by coming here. But you also knew that you had to try, that you couldn't just give up without a fight. You splashed some water on your face, taking a deep breath before making your way back out into the living room.

He was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at you. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft.

You shook your head, feeling the tears welling up again. "No, I'm not okay," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like we're just going in circles, like we're never going to get anywhere."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah…” You sighed, heading to the door as you didn’t feel welcome in his place, only for him to clear his throat. “Come sit down with me.”

You hesitated for a moment, but then you turned around and walked back to the couch. You sat down next to him, feeling a little uneasy.

He put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "So what is it that is truly bothering you?”

“I’m bothered by…us acting like a couple but not having an official label, by you only contacting me at night, and by this weird feeling I get when I come to your apartment.” You told him.

He listened quietly as you spoke, his expression serious. When you finished, he took a deep breath and turned to face you. "I understand why you feel that way," he said. "And I'm sorry if I've made you feel like you're not important to me."

You looked at him, surprised by his words. You had expected him to get defensive or dismissive, but instead he was being open and honest with you.

He continued, "I've been hesitant to put a label on our relationship because I didn't want to rush into anything," he continued. "But I understand that it may be causing you confusion and anxiety, and I don't want that for you."

He paused for a moment, taking your hand in his. "As for contacting you only at night, I know it may seem like I'm only interested in one thing, but that's not the case. I just have a busy schedule during the day, and I enjoy spending time with you in the evenings when I can relax and unwind."

He looked at you, his eyes searching for yours. "And as for this weird feeling you get when you come to my apartment, I'm not sure what that's about. But if it's making you uncomfortable, we can talk about finding a new place to spend time together."

You felt a weight lifting off your shoulders as he spoke. It was like he had been reading your mind, addressing all of your concerns.

"Thank you for being honest with me," you said,your voice soft. "I appreciate it."

He gave you a small smile. "Of course.”

You leaned in and kissed him, only to be met by a small peck and for him to pull away.

You looked at him in confusion, but didn’t have time to question it as he had gotten up and glanced up at the clock behind him. “Why don’t we regroup sometime soon and talk more about this, yeah?”

“Why’d you pull away from my kiss like that?” You asked him.

He shook his head, “I just..am really tired and I’m ready to go back to sleep.”

“So I really have to drive all the way back to campus?” You asked him, standing up.

“Y/N, I didn’t tell you to drive here at 4 in the morning.” He sighed. “What do you want me to do about that?”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever.” Pushing past him, you walked towards the front door, waiting for him to come and unlock it.

He followed you to the door and unlocked it, but as you stepped out, he grabbed your arm gently.

"Hey, wait," he said, his voice apologetic. "I didn't mean to come across as dismissive. I don’t have any energy right now…to do anything, you know?”

You looked at him, feeling a mix of frustration and hurt. You had been hoping for more, but it seemed like he wasn't interested in taking things further.

"I understand," you said, your voice sounding far colder than you intended.

You walked away without looking back, feeling a knot in your stomach.

As you drove back to campus, you tried to push the thoughts away. Though he combatted all of your doubts, you just weren’t sure. It wasn’t like him to kick you out, especially without engaging in any type of..hug or something. It was just odd.

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Over the next few days, you found yourself dwelling on the encounter with him. You couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, and you couldn't help but wonder if he was really as tired as he claimed to be.

You decided to give him some space, hoping that maybe he would reach out to you. But days turned into a week, and still, you hadn't heard from him.

You couldn't take it anymore. You needed to know where things stood between you two. So, you mustered up the courage to text him.

"hey, can we talk?" - You.

It took a few minutes for him to respond, but eventually, your phone beeped with a notification.

"Sure, what's up?" - heeseung <3

You took a deep breath and typed out your thoughts, explaining how you felt confused and unsure about where things stood between you two.

When he didn't respond right away, you started to panic. Maybe you had been right all along, and he wasn't interested in taking things further.

But then, your phone beeped again.

"It’s best if we have this conversation in person. I’m not a big fan of having it over the phone.” - heeseung <3

You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of relief and nerves. At least he was willing to talk to you in person.

"k, when is a good time for you?"- You.

“How about tomorrow evening? We can meet up at that coffee shop we like?" - heeseung <3

You agreed, feeling a sense of anticipation. You didn't know what he was going to say, but you knew that you needed to have this conversation.

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The next evening, you arrived at the coffee shop early after you’d finished all your classes, feeling nervous. You ordered a latte and sat down at a table in the corner, waiting for him to arrive.

When he walked in, you felt a flutter in your chest. He looked so handsome, with his hair styled perfectly and his clothes fitting him just right.

He walked over to your table and sat down, looking at you with a serious expression.

"Y/N.” He said, “You look pretty.”

You nodded, thanking him, “You look nice as well.”

“Thank you.” He said. “How are your classes coming along?”

“Fine.” You said, crossing your arms.

He noticed your body language and frowned slightly. "Is everything okay?" he asked, sensing that something was bothering you.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. You didn't want to ruin the conversation by bringing up your concerns, but at the same time, you knew that you needed to address them.

"Are we going to sit here and have this small talk the entire time? Or are we going to actually talk about us?” You asked him.

He nodded, “Right. Sure, let’s talk.”

You took a deep breath, “Are we dating? Officially?”

He was quiet for a second, before replying, “I don’t think we’ve made it official..?”

“Do you want to?” You asked.

He glanced to the side before leaning forward on the table, “If that’s what you would like, then I’d like it as well.”

You shook your head, “Don’t think about me, think about yourself. Because you know that this is my first time doing this stuff. I like you a lot but I’m not stupid.”

He nodded, “I like you as well, Y/N.”

“Your actions aren’t backing up your words.” You told him. “I want to believe you but I don’t.”

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, sitting back in his seat. “Just tell me what you want.”

“Make me believe you. I really want to…but I really don't.” You told him, sitting back in your seat as you watched him stare at you as if he was trying to sort through his thoughts.

He took a deep breath, rubbing his hands on his pants as he stood to his feet. He reached into his pocket, throwing money onto the table and said, “Meet me at my house.”

“Why?”

He shrugged, “Just meet me there.” He walked out of the cafe before you, and pulled off. You groaned to yourself, annoyed at the whole encounter. There he was again, avoiding answering questions that you wanted answered, trying to brush them off and change topics.

You got up, walked out to your car and sat there for a while, wondering if you’d actually go to his place or not. You didn’t know what he wanted, and just the other day he was barely letting you step foot inside.

After a few minutes of contemplation, you decided to go to his place. You knew that you needed to have a serious conversation with him and figure out where the two of you stood. You drove to his apartment, parked your car in the parking garage, and walked up to the building, putting in the code. You made your way up to his place and knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer.

After a bit, he opened the door and moved out of the way so you could walk in. He closed it behind you and said, “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

“No.” You said, crossing your arms and turning to him, “Why did you have me come here?”

He looked at you with a serious expression. "I wanted to talk to you in a more private setting. I know I haven't been the most communicative person lately, and I wanted to make it up to you."

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

"I like you, Y/N," he said, looking at you directly. "I do. And I know that I haven't been showing it enough. I want to change that.”

You felt a mix of emotions – relief and skepticism. You had heard these words before, and you weren't sure if he was really ready to follow through on them.

“How are you going to do that?” You asked him.

He opened the fridge, took out a water bottle and drank some of it. “Well, I’m more of a physical person, not a verbal one.”

“Okay?” You questioned, “And what?”

“I’m gonna show you, not tell you. Words aren’t enough.” He said, placing his water bottle down and reaching out for your hands. “Do you trust me?”

“I do.” You told him, holding his hands.

He intertwined his fingers with your own, leading you back to his room with a small smile on his face.

He threw you back onto the bed, closing the door behind you both and locking it. You felt a rush of excitement and a hint of fear as he locked the door. You trusted him, but you couldn't help wondering what he had in store for you. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on your lips, sending a shiver down your spine.

Without a word, he began to undress you, his fingers moving slowly over your skin. You close your eyes and let yourself be swept away by the sensations, the touch of his hands, the warmth of his breath on your skin.

As he finished undressing you, he climbed onto the bed and began to explore your body with his hands and lips. You moaned softly as he found all the right spots, his touch sending waves of pleasure through your body.

Heeseung moved down your body, and paused at your hips and looked up at you with a mischievous smile.

“What?” You asked, your voice low, almost as a whisper.

He was quiet, only lifting your legs up to rest on his shoulders.

He left a few kisses on your inner thighs, before his lips found their way to your most lower setted lips. You gasped as he began to pleasure you with his tongue, his skilled movements driving you to the brink of ecstasy.

His nose pressed against your clit as his tongue thrusted inside of your tight hole and you arched your back, moaning his name as he continued to work his magic, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

Your fingers intertwined into his hair, pulling him closer to you as you rocked your hips against his face.

“H-Heeseung…” You moaned and tugged at the roots of his hair, in turns causing him to moan in return. The vibrations of his throat sent rapid pleasure to your core, making you moan even more.

Finally, you couldn't hold back any longer, and you reached your climax, your body shaking with pleasure as your orgasm coated over every inch of your body. You covered your mouth, holding back the cries that so desperately wanted to rip through.

Heeseungs hand flew up to your wrist, tugging it down from your mouth. “Don’t cover your mouth.” He said, climbing up to meet your face. “I want to hear you.”

You looked up at him, panting heavily, and nodded in obedience. He leaned in and kissed you deeply, tasting yourself on his lips. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, and he held you tight, his body pressed against yours.

For a few moments, you simply lay there, catching your breath and reveling in the intensity of the moment. But eventually, he kissed your cheek, making his way down to your jaw, then to your neck.

As he kissed your neck, you let out a soft moan, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. You ran your hands over his clothed back, feeling his muscles tense and relax under your touch. He continued to kiss and nibble at your neck, his hands roaming over your body, exploring every curve and crevice.

After a few minutes, he lifted his head and looked into your eyes. "I want to make love to you," he said, his voice low and husky.

You looked into his eyes, seeing the desire and passion burning within them, and you knew that you were ready. You nodded, and he leaned in to kiss you again, deepening the kiss as he pressed his body against yours.

He slipped his t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the side and kissed you once more before lifting himself up and doing away with the rest of his clothes.

His hands slid up to your waist, lifting your back up as he reached for a pillow and positioned it underneath you.

As Heeseung positioned himself between your legs, you could feel your heart racing with anticipation. His fingers traced delicate patterns along your skin, sending shivers down your spine. You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to you as he leaned down to kiss you once more.

The tip of his cock pressed against your opening, slowly slipping inside as one of his hands held your thigh apart from the other.

He felt so much larger than what you’d remembered. You gasped as Heeseung pushed inside you, feeling the fullness of him as he stretched you in all the right ways. He moaned softly against your lips as he began to move inside you, his hips rocking back and forth in a steady rhythm.

His arms wrapped around you as he let more of his body weight onto you, resting his face in the crook of your neck, fastening his powerful thrusts and causing you both to rut the headboard against the wall.

As the pleasure built inside you, you clung to him, your nails digging into his back as you urged him on. You could feel the heat building between you, the intensity of your lovemaking becoming almost overwhelming. You cried out in pleasure as Heeseung hit just the right spot inside you, sending waves of ecstasy through your body.

The both of you approached the peak of pleasure as you clung to each other, lost in the moment. Finally, with a shudder and a moan, you both came together, the intensity of your release leaving you breathless and spent.

Only, he didn’t stop, overstimulating your sensitive walls as you cried, begging him to slow down.

Heeseung ignored your cries, reaching down to rub your throbbing clit against his rough fingers, inducing a weird sensation in your pelvis.

“Heeseung, please..” Your voice quivered, tears from exhaustion coating over your body.

He ignored you, once again, and caught your lips in a kiss as he harshly pressed down against your sensitive button. As quickly as he’d done that, your back arched up and warm liquid shot out of you, coating over his chest and the bed underneath you both.

You couldn’t even react to what happened before another orgasm rippled out of the both of you. He collapsed into your arms, both of you exhausted but deeply satisfied, wrapped in each other's embrace.

As Heeseung and you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, your heart beats slowly returning to normal, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of admiration and contentment. You gazed at him, admiring his messy hair and low-lidded eyes as he nestled closer to you, the intensity of the moment still hanging in the air.

After a second or two, he got up. “Are you okay?”

You glanced down at the wet spots on the bed and your liquidy essence dripped down from his torso. “I’m so embarrassed. I literally pissed.”

Heeseung smiled, shaking his head and helping you sit up. “I wouldn’t call it pee.”

“What is it then?” You asked him.

“Mmm..” He hummed, glancing around, “A squirt.”

You narrowed your gaze at him. “Um well, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get it all over your bed.”

He shook his head, walking out of his room, soon coming back with two towels, “It’s okay.” He smiled. “Now come shower with me, sweet girl.”

You got up with him, following him into the bathroom as he turned the shower on.

As the warm water cascaded down your bodies, you couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and safety with him. The tension that had been building between you since you first met seemed to dissipate in the steam-filled bathroom.

He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on your lips, causing your heart to race. You had never felt this way before, and the intensity of your feelings for him scared you.

But as he continued to kiss you, you could feel your inhibitions melting away. You ran your hands through his wet hair, pulling him closer to you.

After a few minutes, you reluctantly pulled away, feeling a little embarrassed by your boldness. But he just smiled and pulled you into a hug.

"I know this is new and scary for you," he whispered, bringing his lips closer to your ear, "but I promise to take things at your pace. I won't push you beyond what you're comfortable with."

You nodded, feeling grateful for his understanding. “Okay..”

“And I’m sorry, Y/N.” He sighed, holding you closer to him as the water coated over both of your bodies.

“For?” You asked him, resting your head on his chest.

“For not being a good…whatever. Boyfriend, causal friend, whatever you want to call me.” He said. “I know I’m your first…everything. I’m sorry for being so absent.”

You looked up at him, noticing the glint of vulnerability in his eyes. “And I’m sorry for being so crazy.” You smiled, “I should tone it down a bit.”

“It’s okay, really.” He said, “I know you don’t mean any harm, baby. Don’t apologize for expressing your feelings to me, okay?”

You nodded, “Okay.”

He left one more kiss on your forehead before you both stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around yourself.

You lotioned up in his room with him, enjoying his presence with a few exchanged words and changing into a large shirt of his.

Once you both laid in bed, he flipped you both over, gently resting your head against his chest as he pulled the bed sheets up to cover you both and held onto you. He leaned in to place a gentle kiss on your lips, his hand caressing your cheek.

You closed your eyes and savored the moment, feeling his warmth and steady heartbeat against your cheek. You felt safe and protected in his embrace, and a sense of peace settled over you.

As his hand continued to caress your cheek, you opened your eyes and looked up into his deep brown eyes. They were filled with tenderness and affection, and you could feel yourself falling deeper in love with him.

"I want to take care of you," he said softly, "to make you happy and keep you safe. Will you let me do that?"

You nodded, feeling tears prick at the corners of your eyes. This was the Heeseung you wanted to see. You missed this affectionate and caring Heeseung. His words were back to touching your heart in ways that you couldn't explain.

"I will" you whispered, snuggling closer to him.

He smiled down at you, his eyes shining with emotion. "I won't let you down," he promised.

As you drifted off to sleep in his arms, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. You knew that there would be challenges and obstacles in your relationship, but you were ready to face them together, with his love and support by your side. He was finally yours…right?

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tag list: @voidbeomgyu @kimochiloveshee @ppeachyttae @jungwo-nnie @0102luvr @heeswif3y @hanienie @mimimovv @sweetjaemss @markaeong @skzenhalove @iamliacamila @en-thralled

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Hiiii i just saw your Outsiders/Christine art and HOLY SHIT. When i say my jaw was on the floor it was on the floor. I’m a huge Stephen King fan (I’ve only read his books bc to me his books are good enough. I’m not a huge horror movie watcher girlie but i can do thriller/horror books. I have like 8 of his books, including Christine, on my bookshelf) and once again: HOLY SHIT. I can lowkey see the Outsiders trio as the Christine trio. Now whenever i go to reread the book, i can’t view it the same anymore haha. Another Outsiders/Stepehen King art idea for Halloween: 11/22/63. It’s one of my absolute favorite Stephen King novels. And if you haven’t read it, highly recommend it. It’s so intense and entertaining and i do get lost in that book. Anyways, HOLY SHIT. But i was also wondering if you have any tips for beginner digital artists? Like on layers, line art especially, shading etc.? I really want to get into more digital art but my tradional sketches lowkey look better than my digital ones haha. Whenever i see your stevepop or Outsiders art it just gives me a boost of inspiration. And i love them your honor.

Woah, thanks!! I’ll have to check it out- so far I’ve only read Christine and The Body (because my dad’s obsessed w/ Stand By Me), but I really dug both so I’m looking forward to it!

And as for digital art tips, I guess I’d say to keep things loose! I like to use a modified version of the Shale Brush on procreate for my sketches and lineart because it resembles a pencil, and the rough messiness makes it a whole lot easier for me to just relax and draw the way I do on paper. I don’t shy away from messiness especially in digital art- it makes things flow better in a medium that can get really stiff sometimes.

I like to do my sketches in bright colors, and I tend to assign every subject a certain color so I can tell them apart easily (idk how helpful it is, but it works for me!) Then I lower the opacity and draw on a layer on top like this:

Then I turn off the sketch layer and either fill everything in with base colors, or color it in grayscale w/ this Copic marker brush and varying levels of opacity for my comics.

As for shading, I do a combination of cell shading and painterly shading (picture for the uninitiated lol). Both have their merits, and shadows in real life usually include a bit of both.

For more simple stuff, I take a shade of either purple or sometimes magenta and cell shade everything with this pencil brush on a multiply layer, usually set to 30-ish% opacity depending on the drawing. Then I’ll blend it out a bit to soften some edges, which is what makes it look painterly. Also if you don’t know, “clipping mask” layers are really helpful for shading! You just put the shading layer over the colors and it stops you from going outside of the colors, it can be super helpful. This method is the one I usually use, and the one I’ve been using since I first started about five years ago now.

For the Christine poster specifically though I mostly just kept everything to one layer and color dropped from the reference, altering the colors as I saw fit- and just sort of guessed for Evie because she’s way tanner than Leigh and needed her own colors. The only times I used different layers were for each individual character so that they didn’t mess each other up, and also for the sketches, which I put on top of the colors but lightened the opacity on. Idk that I’d recommend this for a beginner tho, it’s taken me years to get comfortable working like this!

Sketch is set to a multiply layer here too. You can’t see it super well here tbh, because of how dark everything is, but oh well. Here’s a study I did last year with the same method tho! (Also she’s got some similarities to Evie huh?? I guess I have a type lol oops)

Anyhow, that’s probably enough for now lol- but lmk if there’s anything else you wanna know! And obviously this is just how I do things, there’s no hard and fast rules for any of this- I’m making it up as I go along, and you should too!!

[thebrookesnook]

Hi, hey, hello, maayong buntag sA TANAN 🙌🙌

IM AWAKE (yes i know i slept for an hour sue me) AND WITH MANY THINGS I WISH I SHARED LAST NIGHT ABOUT THE STUDIES AND ITS ONLY ABOUT SHITARA.

I'll post another one about my thought process on the others' design elements I included mayhaps after part 2 is out (which i assure u is not as extensive as part 1, its a one per person package deal). Like their body hair or whatnot (yes, takiishi's lack of a happy trail was intentional).

(p.s. this is a vent for me but if u want to watch me simp haphazardly, then u're in the right place)

This was my reference for shitara and let me tell u this was more than i needed but my fingers kept screenshoting more and moreee.. .

Hes so silly and funny, and hes a dilf so hes already checks out more of my ideal type sksk. HIS SCRUFF, I LOVED DRAWING HIS SCRUFF AND HIS BODY HAIRR. I HAVENT POSTED ANY DRAWINGS PUBLICLY WITH BODY HAIR BUT FOR YOU SIR, ANYTHING FOR YOUU.

—

QnA Time:

"Whats up with the dad bod Brooke/Eve?"

Hear me out: I wanted him to have a beer belly and then I went oKAY maybe lets give him MORE chonk aND I DID AND HES LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED ICANT- *slams fist against the table*

"Was shitara the reason why-?"

Yes, yes. I got hit with the sudden urge to draw him topless and i decided to extend the graces to umemiya (thats his son in all but blood so ofc) and togame (no. 3 on my list). But ig four sounded better than 3 but i didnt know who to pick so i let y'all pick for me. Now takiishi's there, with messly drawn up left hand on the handstand sksk. The reference photo wasnt any better, who knew people could have such large fingers.

"Why did you make it a torso study instead of drawing him topless once like a normal person?"

Because im insane thats why and what is normal, dont know her. Also i thought it would be a good way to learn how the torso anatomy and how the muscles work u know? And i chose quite the variety to characters that canonically have different body types that i can play around. So now i know which muscles go where and how light plays with it skks.

"Is Shitara your no. 1?"

No, that belongs to Ales 🫶. The absolute rock they were the entire time i was sharing her wips. He's no. 2 tho, that's why my OTP (and OT3) for windbre is Ales/Me/Shitara. It was never gonna be anything else but SuoSakuNire is a close second. Highkey in love with both of them sksks.

—

Back to silly thoughts:

sirrr keep me warm in this cold ass weather bagyo seasonn~

Speaking of, u know i had to play "Big Boys" by SZA on that SNL show or whatever AND "big boys x streets" mashup because the wayyy i feltt a lot of thingsss in my heart when that song was on. Very yummy. OH YEAH AND "CANDY" BY DOJA CAT AND "AUSSIE AUSSIE O SIGE" BY ANDREW E!!

I will patiently await the day we see current timeline Shitara looking as handsome and gorgeous as ever. I WILL PATIENTLY AWAIT THE DAY HE GETS A SEIYUU. I HAVE A LIST ON POTENTIAL VA OPTIONS SKSK.

anyways, i think thats all. kissing his scruffy chin in my head before i skiddadle to uni 🏃🏃

[thekatebridgerton]

So I just read ur Polin Amnesia & Time Travel AUs and now I need to know what happens! I will literally die 🙈

Do Pen and Colin find each other in the future?

And does Penelope agree to marry Colin despite his supposed "Amnesia"?

I NEED ANSWERS! 🙈💀

Last one of the au related replies. This one was part of my catching up to Polin week efforts lol. Found here: Amnesia au And Time Travel au

For the time travel au, here's some clarification for those who didn't catch the little reference in the first paragraph. About Modern Eloise, she asked Penelope to transcribe Regency Colin's journals. Eloise is in charge of Aubrey Hall Because unlike the rest of her family, who travel a lot, Eloise is the only one permanently based in England. Penelope is vaguely aware that Eloise gave up a career in publishing, to study medicine when one of her brothers fell into a coma and she stayed in England to take care of him. Since he's been in a coma for years and unlikely to wake up, modern Colin is a touchy subject for Eloise and as such she never talks about him with Penelope.

When Colin wakes up calling for Penelope, of course Eloise finds it weird, but calls Penelope right away to tell her the news. And it's love at first sight when they meet again. Colin has the memories of modern Colin to help him adapt, but the disappearance of his same named ancestor will forever remain a mystery. Penelope theorizes that all along, he also didn't belong in the regency Era, but rather was pulled there when he fell into a coma. And meeting Penelope was the push he needed to come back to his modern body. Either way, they both have two sets of memories of a love that can trascend time. And they decide to make the best of it together.

For the Amnesia au

Of course Colin keeps up pretending to be amnesiac for as long as he can. Except that after he gets his memories back he just doubles down on the horniness. Because look at her, all soft and witty and HIS. Come clean? Are you kidding me? The moment she figures out he got his memories back she's going to dump him! he can't let that happen. He pushes for the wedding to be moved up and leaves Penelope no choice but to agree. He convinces his mother and the rest of his family, that he's doesn't need to recover his memories to be sure all this time he wanted to marry Penelope (because he's recovered them already) and he goes all out on the marriage proposal. Basically pretend amnesiac Colin does everything he can to make sure Penelope can't back down from marrying him. Because he knows she wants out.

Altough, he thinks she wants out because she doesn't have very deep feelings for him, and wants to keep her secret double life as LW. But truthfully Penelope wants out because she thinks she's taking advantage of his pure, innocent feelings who has been suffering from amnesia.

Is pushing up the wedding underhanded? yes. But Colin knows that leaving Lady Whistledown any wiggle room, would be all she needs to stage a marital prision break. And he likes having Penelope all to himself thank you very much. And even tho, she's dying of guilt inside for basically letting Colin marry someone he doesn't love under false pretenses, because he has amnesia, Penelope does go trough with the wedding, after doing all she can to get out of it.

Colin comes clean after the wedding night...And that's when Penelope gets furious.

[mitcheechee]

Hey, new follower here! (I'm actually in the wrong account so please don't mind me being anonymous!) I really love your art and I mainly wanted to say that your art and style is amazing and beautiful! Secondarily, do you have any tutorials or tips on drawing bodies, hands and I noticed you do blood? I understand if you'd rather not answer that; if so just only the first half! Love your art! Thanks for existing (if that makes sense)❤️

wah... first i just wanna say tysm!!! youre so sweet 😭

i unfortunately dont have any tutorials or anything made already and i dont really want to make any as of right now because i feel like i have a long way to go in terms of learning how to properly draw a lot of things. since i don't know what im doing id feel really lousy putting out a tutorial when i dont even have a lot of the basics down yet...

im gonna blab under the cut about tips (not really tips on drawing bodies themselves as a guideline, but what has helped me practice and thus allowed me to get better at drawing bodies in my own art), so u dont have to read all that if it doesnt interest u! but regardless thank u again for being so sweet!!! sorry i couldnt give u what u wanted.. maybe one day... 😭

again this is just how i practice, but its GENUINELY helped me get so much better.

all i can say as far as tips is to definitely practice with references as much as u can, it really will help u improve. i know people often dont like that advice too much but its really true... every time i use references to practice for a bit i can tell it helps me, and looking back at older art i know its true. i dont often use guidelines (i really need to...), or at least not in the sense that i do in most of the guides i see so i feel like i cant give much else in terms of advice tho, other than that.

anyway, its one thing to just use a reference, but really trying to get it down and learn it (learn the body, anatomy, how to draw it all) so u carry that knowledge on is sorta different, for me

what has helped me to really learn is this method of practice where i

draw a reference photo based off what i see

trace the photo

overlay both my trace and the first drawing i made

go back and choose key points on the photo/trace where i was very off and mark them as a little dot/line and then try to fix the original sketch with those dots/lines to match the photo (look below to understand what i mean LOL sorry)

try and draw it again from scratch based on what i see visually

and for number 4, what i mean is this:

lets say the 2nd is my visual (rough) drawing based off of the original

overlaying my original sketch on the reference i can see where a lot of points are off!

ill make note of a few of the areas that were very off and mark them, then get rid of the reference underneath. ill still look at it as a guide on the side, but overall try to just change the original sketch to match it instead of directly tracing!

i feel like this may not have been exactly what u mean as far as tips for drawing bodies, but ive found that in order to grasp them better in a way that helps u draw them on ur own, doing studies like this really helps! for me, at least, it allows me to better store things in my memory--because looking at the image and practicing doesnt feel like it really CEMENTS any knowledge, but seeing where i went wrong and then working backwards to try and alter it shows me where im lacking in skill, and helps me use that information later!

doing this allows me to understand how bodies take up space. it has helped me to see the body as more of a tangible thing while i draw freehand, and do it more accurately as well, instead of it feeling like its. a limp noodle i cant grasp LOL

i will say, tho, that for hands especially i almost always use my hands as a reference for what i want. like i dont even have a guide for that in terms of what i do to draw them out or guidelines i follow, i just straight up draw them based off what i see or imagine, i dont really do those step by step guidelines...

im sorry again i couldnt rly give u what u wanted, i just dont think im at that level where i can truly give any advice since im not good enough (yet ! we hope) for a genuine tutorial. if u mean something as far as like... body shapes and stuff im still not rly there yet either. i hope this helps even a tiny bit tho, if u read this far!!!

[kikker-oma]

hi friend!

idk how you phrase this but like

How do you draw bodies

because your art style is so good and I’m trying to find mine but people just don’t make sense to me 🥲

but aside from that, how is your day been?

Line of Action - best for figure drawing practice

@mellon-soup - has an INCREDIBLE repetoir of pose references. Here's their insta handle!

PROKO - has a lot of really great drawing fundamental resources on their YouTube channel for free. They also have paid online courses that go more in depth!

PoseManiacs - I used this when I was trying to learn and practice poses as well!

@miyuliart - on Twitter (or X , whatever it is) has a lot of great posts regarding pose study and anatomy! She even has some books for purchase too.

Lovely Blare, you are so sweet!! I'm glad you like my art style ❤️ it's definitely still being developed and I'm no master, but. I'm having fun building up my skills!

See below the break for more info cus this is kinda long lol

Above I've listed just a few of the many many many resources out there to study poses. These tend to be the people I look to most for references, tho they aren't the only ones!

If you're looking to practice and get better at anatomy and the fluidity of your poses, I would suggest starting by drawing actual people first. That way you know how real bodies move and twist and turn and what masclues go where. It makes simplifying and stylizing easier down the road!

Something I did a LOT, and honestly still do a lot, is find pictures of people or art of characters whose poses I like and just try to draw what I see. I have sketchbooks fuuulll of poses I copied just to practice! Tracing can definitely have it's value as well when you're learning!

I utilize Pinterest a lot to creat difference boards for reference photos I may need, and it's come in handy quite often!

I can show you how *I * draw bodies in general, but know that I kind of flub around until something starts to feel right haha. I'm still learning and practicing as well! How I draw bodies may now work for you and that's chill! Its all about trying out lots of different styles and seeing what you like best, or what methods make sense to you.

Fair warning: this probs isn't the most accurate tutorial, I just kinda threw something down as a general example hehe. I'm preaching about references but didn't want to use one at the moment cus I'm tired haha

Often my sketches are much messier and I just make lots of lines so I can find the "right one" lol.

These are some sketches I did for Peggys fan art!

Basically, just keep practicing until it eventually starts to look right lol

[ravenwitch45]

I thought of this because Blitzø and I both love horses and love the movie Spirit. So the mustang that they studied while animating the horse is at a ranch right now and they actually changed his name to Spirit.

Can I request Y/N surprising Blitzø on his birthday by having them both put on human disguises so they can meet the real Spirit?

Oh you cannot get more Horse Stan then this man, and with this specific horse? Your pratically gonna smother him with everything he loves all in a day, I'll do my best with this!

Blitzo's SO surprising him by taking him to see the real Spirit on his birthday

Blitzo ain't the kind to be all humble about his birthday of course, He says it's coming up a lot around the office, Stolas, and of course you, but he honestly doesn't expect much.

If people remember and wish him a happy one, that's all it takes to satisfy him,

Any gift, parties, or surprises are something he appreciates extremely tho, especially if feel very FOR him if you know what I mean.

So when you find out about the whole situation with Spirit, you know you have to surprise him with it. You talk to Stolas and make sure to master the human disguise spell to make sure to avoid any problems and you plot on how to make it perfect.

He gives everyone the day off, cause working on his birthday is something he'd totally not do. So you wake up finding him looking at his phone, smiling to himself as he sees the happy birthday messages from M&M and Stolas, not knowing your awake yet you sneak up on him and give him a kiss.

"Happy Birthday Handsome, I have a surprise for you~" To which he smirks at first, before raising a brow, questioning what, only getting that'll have to wait til after breakfast.

As if on cue, Loona comes in having cooked up breakfeast in bed for her dad, actually calling him that as she awkwardly wishes him a happy birthday, getting a hug as he near cries tears of joy at that. Serving well to stop him from questioning what you have planned

After breakfast you grab the grimoire, which only confuses him more, but you just stay quiet as you pull him through a portal and put on the disguises. You ruffling up his new hair, saying you'll miss his true form for the moment but that this will be worth it.

He starts to question you again before he recognizes your at a ranch, luckily it's the early morning and no one is working yet so noone to stop him from bursting in and saying hi to all the horses. You just smiling at how cute he is when he get's like this.

You tell him that you still need to keep going for the surprise, which makes him pout "But there all so cute how can I leave them!?"But you drag him along as he pouts more.

Eventually you reach where you need, Him rushing up to the Mustang, "Hey! This guy looks like Spirit from the movie!" He says looking up at the horse like it's the most beautiful thing in the world. You responding "That kinda is Spirit from the movie." The Assassin's jaw drops before he laughs a little "Your so fuckin with me! It just reminded me of it." You then explain that your not, explaining that this was the horse that was an animation reference for the very movie, you've watched over and over with him, and that the horse he's smothering with love is actually named Spirit.

And that... just makes him go silent for a second before hugging you, putting his head on your shoulder as he wraps his tail around you, simply saying a tender thank you, hiding that he's crying at having someone who loves him for all his oddities and interests.

You simply say he's welcome before suggesting you find some feed since you know he loves to feed horses, so you do and you two go around with him getting every horse in the ranch to lick out of his hands which he laughs at every time.

When you guys get back to Spirit, he awkwardly thanks the horse for in a way inspiring him and giving him so much joy throughout the years. He tries to whisper it but you hear him, not teasing him for it tho.

You finish up feeding all the horses and he says goodbye with a kiss to each before you walk out, him hugging you again and thanking you for the great surprise, a great start to his Bday, you kissing him and promising that you have a few other ideas to make the rest great too, your gonna spoil him so bad, and you'll have help<3

I Actually had a lot of fun with this, hope I did this good, still getting used to writing this stuff, but hey, Blitz is one of my faves so happy to spoil him.

[valentine-cafe]

Hii

I'm in a very struggling situation so is it okay if you give me fun facts about Zhao Yizé 9948e? Doesn't matter what it is. Just no angst and nsfw fun facts.

He is my comfort character and I need to read something about him to ease my stress. You can take your time on it tho!

— 🎨

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ oh darling we really are sorry and we hope things ease up for you :(( sending you lots of love! we composed this real quick for you

𖹭. he plays the guqin! he's very good at it too

𖹭. can recreate animal sounds very very accurately

𖹭. he treats mister squiggles like a genuine pet snake when in fact squiggles is his familiar —

𖹭. he can speak fluent japanese!

𖹭. his english given name is mathew ( he hates it XHVKBK )

𖹭. on the topic of languages, he speaks more english than he does chinese as he's not around the zhào estate too often and rather lives in the society of shades

𖹭. he is associated with dull shades of blue

𖹭. one of our voice references for him is from this audio

𖹭. as a child, he loved hiding around the ponds of the estate garden, swimming among the lotus flowers and sometimes laying on the big lotus leaves. he also had a small water fan he’d use to splash his older brothers with. they never knew it was him that did it.

𖹭. when yizé first got mr. squiggles, the first thing the both of them did was have a race in the training grounds. he won, and made squiggles get him ice cream as a reward.

𖹭. in yizé’s late teens, he had developed an odd habit of sleeping in the tree branches because he’d sit in the garden at ungodly hours to do homework for school. it became a comfort to him, and he liked when the birds nestled up to him.

𖹭. yizé helps a lot of the community around the estate and makes sure everyone goes around and are safe. safely getting elderly and the young across the road, making sure cats and dogs don’t run out and get lost and is also one of the people who makes a bunch of food for his neighbours and hands it out to them when he can.

𖹭. at work, yizé really likes the missions where he gets to go to the last sector of the society. because it’s a place surrounded by nature and it just comforts him. he loves the areas of the inner society too! the last one just reminds him of home. and also there’s deer!

𖹭. though he doesn’t read books, he has a special thing for comics. he doesn’t read — but he loves looking at all the art. he’s never been too good at art, but he admires it so heavily. he’s always trying to draw something! even if it comes out a little messy, he still feels proud of what he makes

𖹭. yizé is the only one in his family that manages to get brain freezes whenever he drinks cold drinks or eats something cold too fast, nobody knows why.

𖹭. he really likes dancing on roller-skates and is quite good at it too! he often goes to some of the clubs around the society to dance around with them on. one of the reasons for this is because it reminds him of his best friend lorenzo.

𖹭. he has a special soft spot for reptilians, and adores salamanders specifically. he can’t explain why, he’s just always loved how silly they look.

𖹭. has a bit of a tendency to get lost whenever he’s out, but he always find his way back home ! ( he calls his fire dad or his ceo dad or his mama )

𖹭. his younger sibling and him get along really well, and often enjoy running around the parks close to their home, catching bugs and critters for them. yǔ xī has always been able to relate to his love for all wildlife, and it’s refreshing. they like to sit and study them while eating ramen

𖹭. he likes to visit his older brother xīyang whenever he has time. he knows he is sick often and because of this, he really likes bringing him soup and food. and although they’ve had a rocky past together they also share lots of laughs when they get the time. last time they laughed over squiggles accidentally dipping his tail in yizé’s soul when he went to hug xīyang

𖹭. really likes to bully his boss/dad rasui, calling him an old man and sometimes not listening to his orders at work because he likes to prove there are different ways to do things. and he can see even when rasui scolds him, there is pride for his adaptability. ꒱

[diezmil10000]

hi 👋 you can call me diez or chisi

i am from spain and i like to draw lesbians. this is my main blog, if you're only here for my art and not for my reblogs you can follow my art-only blog!!

(FAQ under the cut)

what software and brushes do you use?

i work on ibisPaint X and Krita on a Samsung Galaxy Tab S6 Lite. i use a lot of different brushes for lineart but mostly these ones:

are your commissions open?

i will never do commissions, but thank you for your interest.

will you someday sell your art through an online shop / convention?

no, but feel free to print my stuff in good quality paper if you want to hang it on your wall.

how can i financially support you?

i have no need for that right now. please give your money to other artists or organizations.

can i repost your art / use it for edits?

i don't encourage it, but i don't mind. asking for permission and linking back to any of my social media would be appreciated too ♡ just don't use it for commercial purposes (sell merch, use as streaming layouts, etc)

how do you do X part of your drawing?

i recommend checking my speedpaints if you're curious, the name of the videos is the day i finished that drawing in YYMMDD format (as in, year-month-day). i also made a tag for my art thoughts, but if you still have a question feel free to send me an ask and i'll try my best to explain it!!

where did you learn anatomy?

i used to watch a lot of proko and sycra videos (on youtube), and also do gesture/figure drawings from photo references and k-pop dance practice videos.

when / why did you start drawing?

i started taking it seriously when i was 15. seeing lesbian fanart was what caused my gay awakening and i felt like there wasn't enough of it, so i decided to get better.

do you do traditional art?

i kind of dislike it, actually. i have filled over 1000 A4 sheets and 7 sketchbooks over the years, but it's all quick doodles to practise or warm up. when i bought a tablet i could carry around i stopped drawing traditionally as often, but i still find myself drawing in my sketchbook from time to time when i want to sketch midlessly or get better at something.

do you draw nsfw art?

very rarely, but i only show it to my friends. i do consume a lot of nsfw content tho, just not in public 👍

how do you keep yourself motivated?

a combination of drawing only what i like and a strong desire of seeing more lesbian art. that's why i mostly make fanart and almost never participate in art trades or make art gifts. i also don't want to make a career out of drawing.

have you gone to art school?

i have a college degree in graphic design, but it has almost no correlation with the kind of art i share online. before that i never studied art academically.

are you seriously a furry?

yes.

are you seriously a communist?

you call me a communist, socialist, leftist– i just want people to be happy and i heavily oppose capitalism on its fundamentals.

are you an anti or a pro shipper?

i am neither, i don't care about this.

are you aware that you follow someone who did something problematic?

i mostly follow other artists, so if i've been following someone problematic for a long time it probably isn't that deep for me to unfollow them.

do you have any ocs?

plenty! but i don't like to talk about them in public

can i be your friend / talk regularly with you?

i don't like to talk to strangers, but if i'm following you feel free to interact with me at any time~

what's the name of your cat?

yonyon ! she's a female cat but i treat her by any and all gendered terms

why have you disabled your DMs, story replies and sometimes comments?

because i dislike interacting with fandoms, especially big ones. i draw for myself and for the lesbians with niche interests, so i don't want to read weird comments, block overly friendly DMs or watch strangers have a public debate about my moral standards. i'm very thankful towards all of you who love my art tho, even if i can't read all of your positive thoughts!! also, there are plenty of ways to contact me, they're just not in plain sight 💋

[joseimukeaddict]

Probably gonna fail a class so here are random headcanons for Izumi Tachibana from A3!

(It’s pretty long IMO and not proofread, sorry)

(I also am not caught up with the JP main story past Act 10 so sorry if anything contradicts sth that happens later)

CW: it gets kinda depressing near the end, my mood kinda seeped in 😓; mostly backstory stuff

——

- my girl is bi (more so bc I want a chance)

- her mom was always a stickler for a clean house so she’s super serious about making sure everyone does their chores, even more than Sakyo

- this one is more about Yukio and her mother but that man’s taste is women is definitely serious women in charge (they say you tend to fall for someone similar to your parents *winkwonk* SakyoIzu being the gender bent ver *winkwonk*

- Women on top tho, the men are simps (Yukio has to call at least once a week or else)

- On that note, her mom definitely holds grudges by the way she doesn’t even want Yukio to be mentioned in her household; Izumi holds mini-grudges too but they eventually fade with time bc she’s forgetful and just really nice

- not one to scream at a person when she’s angry, just raises her voice and speaks in a firm tone (she’s really good at choosing the right words though so it’s kinda worse to get her mad bc she’s usually so tolerant and her words hit deep)

- always speaks from the heart so this skill not transfer to acting 😭

- when her dad left so suddenly, she tried watching plays to cope but then started crying in the middle of the performance bc she thought of what her dad would think of a specific scene bc they used to do daddy-daughter play trips

- briefly tried to take up a different artistic hobby instead of theatre but when that failed, she just threw herself into her studies

- average student but she can get higher scores if she really tries

- scores into a pretty good college but a friend encourages her to go to a decent college that at least has a good arts program bc they’re worried Izumi is gonna throw away her life’s passion

- although she had that horrible experience where the theatre head told her she has no acting talent, at least being able to help create plays with backstage work rekindles her love of theatre and gives her an even greater appreciation for behind the scenes positions

- she works her way up the back stage ladder, trying out all sorts of different jobs to get a feel for each of them and eventually gets to an assistant director position

- and she’s absolutely in love with it (my girl is a career woman through and through)

- she gets why her father loved it so much although he was a great actor himself

- so thankful to the friend who encouraged her to go to that college, they’re still in contact (long distance bc she’s still at their home town) and they text and do late night calls often (they’re platonic soulmates dw)

- She was decently popular before daddy issues happened and lost a lot of the fair weather friends and only has a few close ones she’s made and kept over the years; she’s making more connections via theatre nowadays bc MANKAI keeps her so busy (it’s a crime that Liber doesn’t even give Izumi just one friend outside of her relation with MANKAI)

- Although MANKAI and her friend have never met, they refer to each other by nicknames at this point bc of how often Izumi catches them up on what the other is doing

- I know for a fact this girl is a praiser, she’s just so proud about them like a mother (especially when it comes to MANKAI)

- Takes almost no credit for them however, my girl has some insecurity issues being around such immensely talented people 😢

- She’s very talented in managerial aspects but she only found out after years of no talent in various arts

- She’s not one to tell people about her troubles (she knows she should) but people who know her well can tell when she needs a pick me up

- and one last happy one bc wow it got depressing and long: at least every few months, she schedules a weekend off and goes back to her hometown to spend time with her mother, after realizing that she should cherish more the family she has close by after moving into the MANKAI dorm and being reminded of family by the boys (both mother and daughter look forward to this event every time) (what do they do? Just relax and chat over Japanese snacks while her mother gives Izumi some tips on how to better run the dorm) (If you think Izumi is a praiser, her mother is worse, 1000% yaps about her wonderful daughter all the time to her friends behind Izumi’s back)

——

Sorry it was so long… too many thoughts for MANKAI’s one and only Director…

I have so many more but no one would want to read that much in one sitting. IDK Part 2 when I fail another major assignment that will cost me my grade?

[demadogs]

Do you know any good wlw movies/ TV shows on netflix? I've watched a few, I am not ok with this, Carol, duck butter, but im LESBIAN DEPRIVED!

~🌈

YOU AND ME BOTH GIRLY.

unfortunately almost all my favorite sapphic shows have been canceled especially the ones on netflix but i do still think theyre worth your time. but it might also kill you bc the story isnt finished. all these shows are also just amazing plots too. like i would love them just as much even if there wasnt wlw relationships.

heres what i got for shows but not all of these are on netflix.

the wilds. this is an AMAZING SHOW. its on amazon its about a staged plane crash where 8 girls are stuck on an island but they dont know that its all a fucked up social experiment. a lesbian relationship became established before it got canceled after s2.

cable girls. this is on netflix and it actually DIDNT GET CANCELED HALLELUJAH. its an amazing show but it actually doesnt really count as sapphic bc one of the characters in the wlw relationship ends up being trans. but its still a great queer love. this shows spanish and set in late 1920s madrid at a telephone company. its one of my favorite shows ever literally every season is better than the last plz watch it.

everything sucks. this is on netflix and it did get canceled but the lesbian relationship was mostly established before the end of the first season. its set in the 90s and its just a really cute show im mad it got canceled.

paper girls. this is on amazon and ngl this is one of the most painful sapphic show cancelations ive ever suffered through so if you dont wanna watch it just bc of that i dont blame you. its about these four young girls who accidentally time travel from the 80s to current day and meet their future selves. the gay girlies are heavily implied and foreshadowed but they dont get together before the end of the show :(

the last of us!!! not canceled its still going!! this show has an episode that shows a past sapphic relationship with the lesbian main character but the first season doesnt introduce a new relationship yet. the second season will tho. im sure youve heard about this or already watched it but its about a zombie-like pandemic from a deadly fungus and its total post apocalyptic. also AMAZING found family father/daughter trope. dare i say i actually think i like them more than el and hopper.

i really need to find more great sapphic movies.

my favorite lesbian movie of all time is portrait of a lady on fire. its a french period piece and its just beautiful and THERE ARE LIKE ZERO MEN IN THE WHOLE MOVIE. i think the only line a man has is “bonjour” and thats it. MY KINDA MOVIE!!!!! INSTANT 5 STARS!!!!! i love this movie. the initial premise is that a woman needs to be painted but she cant know that shes being painted so the other woman has to just study her while hanging out and then paint her from memory. it ends up being much more than that but gaaahhh if you only watch one of these make it this movie.

another iconic sapphic movie is but im a cheerleader. way different tone much less dramatic and more comedy but still never gets old.

you didnt mention books but im gonna give you book recs anyway.

seven husbands of evelyn hugo!!!!!!! im sure youve heard about this. i dont think its overrated at all it really was such a good book and dont let the title fool you its gay as hell. if youre really not a reader tho this is going to be a netflix movie soon.

an amazing duo book series is criers war. i LOVE scifi and fantasy and this is my favorite sapphic scifi story ive ever read/watched. i want this to be a movie or show so bad. its about a world where some people are people and some are what they refer to as “automa” which are essentially cyborgs but they look just like humans. crier is an automa and the daughter of a king and ayla is a poor human and she has a vendetta against crier bc her father was responsible for her familys murder but crier doesnt know this! so then ayla gets the job as her maid for the goal of killing her basically but of course it gets super gay instead. its such an interesting take on the enemies to lovers trope bc its one sided, cryer has no idea ayla considers her her enemy. also neither of them are white i think crier is brown and ayla is black.

i hope you like these! and if anybody else has lesbian story recs plz put it in the replies or rbs cuz i also need more lesbian content!!!