#need a fresh start so bad
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itcouldwearyourskin · 4 months ago
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nipuni · 1 year ago
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The weather this morning was pleasant and below 25ºc for the first time in months!! so we went thrifting, here are our finds!! I can't wait to style them for autumn 😊
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gotchibam · 3 months ago
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Hey guys, I'd like to apologize for disappearing once again. I seem to end up self-sabotaging myself everytime I try to get back into the swing of things (attempting to do the backlog of comms + doodles, opening patreon). I've been feeling lethargic for some time now & tbh I can't help but remember my mom's situation back then before she got admitted to the hospital. I don't want to go through the same thing so I'm trying my best to pick myself up—even though it's hard. I lost my dad last 2016 then my mom this year & it's just... it's a big blow for me.
I'm sorry if I keep asking for help like this... but I've stretched our budget too thin now since I haven't been able to work on anything. If anyone would like to help, my ko-fi page is open. Any kind of help or support is very much appreciated! 🙏
I'd also like to apologize to those who subscribed to my patreon. I really thought I'd be able to just start right away & draw again like I used to after announcing it here but I thought wrong. I owe you guys a doodle + a drawing session. I can't promise to do them soon but I'll try my best!
Lastly, I've also been thinking of doing an art stream as a thanks for continuing to support me even though I haven't posted art for so long ;_; Nothing fancy, just a simple stream of me drawing on a canvas (I don't have the guts to show my face or talk I'm sorry... 🙈). Tbh it sounds overwhelming but I thought it might help me gain momentum for drawing again. Idek if I'll actually be able to do it, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while now.
I'm sorry again for all this... I'm still a mess atm & so I still keep struggling. But I'm also grateful bc many of you still choose to stay & support me despite the lack of activity. Really though, thank you, thank you so much for still being here ;_; 🙏🙏🙏
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alxandergoth · 2 months ago
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y’all make me wanna dl build/buy cc so bad 😭
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elliebell77 · 4 months ago
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sorry i havent been posting i think im burnt out rn
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theresa-of-liechtenstein · 16 days ago
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got a new laptop on sale yayy 😎 hopefully a zoom meeting will no longer threaten to wipe out my whole machine
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droodlebug · 1 month ago
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will you tell us more abt your fantasy world’s high elf/orcs please 👀
absolutely!!! Theyre referred as either high elves or orcs depending on where you are in the world and who youre talking to. Some people use one or the other, or use them interchangably.
Before society and sapience came along and whatnot, orcs evolved for rainforests, deserts, forests, and any ecosystem with a heavy focus on plant life (so most of them really!) and lots of sun. Very widespread. Their skin is green, or green ish, and a little waxy to the touch because they have chloroplasts. They photosynthesize, giving them extra energy. Because of that they dont need to sleep much, or even at all, depending on how much sun they've gotten! It also allows them to channel more magic via their appendix (thats the Magic organ). High elf magic users are going to be strongest during the day and a little weakened at night. In thick forests amd rainforests, they would (and some still will!) climb to the tree tops to absorb sun. Hence the name high elf.
They evolved to have tusks in order to scrape bark off trees, get cactus skin, and open cacti and tough-skinned fruits. They are able to properly digest fiber unlike most people. Though, in the modern world as society came together, their tusks are usually viewed with respect. Something to decorate and customize (they dont stop growing!), giving a kind of thanks to their tusks for historically having played a big part in their diet and survival in the past.
Speaking of diet, while they are omnivorous like all elves, they do lean more herbivorous! Many of the groups and places youll find that are orc heavy and orc-led will have an extra care and appreciation for the plants around them.
Unfortunately, I'm still workshopping the societal and cultural parts of high elves and most of my variants. I know where I want everything to end up and some overarching beats of the world, but I get caught up focusing more on speculative fantasy biology and not getting deep into how society would build up, what cultures would be made, and how it eventually all comes together in a modern fantasy setting with magic and technology together and with people from any kind of variant of person being able to be found anywhere withoit surprise, and for it not to be at all unusual to see people that dont fit neatly into any one variant label. That is a hugeee run on sentence lmao.
But ive had this fantasy world in my head for years and try to be very intentional in building a world without colonialism and implying any one variation of person is better or different or good or evil or whatever. It's all just people! I especially want to do right by orcs since tolkein's popularization of them is written as a blatent racist "barbaric" caricature of Black people. Now as I type that I realize I havent drawn any Black high elves! I should fix that. In the meantime heres a couple of orcs ive drawn in the past. Thank you for asking I Loveeee rambling about my fantasy stuff always and forever!!! I hope it's interesting!!!
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nostomannia · 1 month ago
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Hi. I'm trying to get myself back into writing but pain and suffering, lmao. May reblog my permanent starter call again- however I think I might drop my starter call stuff just because some of those have been on hold Forever.
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bumblingbabooshka · 10 months ago
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One of the best Voyager scenes to indicate Tuvok & Neelix's dynamic and how I think Tuvok is just as if not more 'annoying'(positive) than Neelix is when Neelix pours Tuvok a fresh squeezed glass of a fruit juice blend and Tuvok's like (paraphrased) "I don't want to drink this." and Neelix is like "Can you please try it?" and Tuvok's like "I don't want to, you're really bad at this sort of thing. It's going to taste bad." and Neelix says that Ensign XYZ said she LOVED it, she even had a second glass! And Tuvok says Ensign XYZ could drink poison without a second thought and Neelix is like "Tuvok could you please just TRY it? Just try a little SIP of it PLEASE??" and Tuvok sighs and rolls his eyes and sniffs it before taking a sip and it turns out he loves it. Turns out it tasted good actually. And then after all that Neelix tries to talk to him over eggs (which he's again cooking fresh for him) and Tuvok tells him he doesn't wanna hear "the life history of his breakfast." Absolutely insufferable this man I would have burned his eggs on PURPOSE!!!!
#I love Neelix so much and I think he and Tuvok are very funny together - irritating4irritating#People say 'Neelix is so pushy with Tuvok!' and you know what? I think Tuvok can handle it. I think maybe he does need to be pushed -#down a flight of stairs. (he's my favorite character and he's so annoying...TUVOK!!!!!)#Tuvok: -kicking and screaming- I don't want to drink the juice!!! It's poison!!! You're trying to poison me!!!!!!!!!#Neelix: Can you please drink the juice. The fresh squeezed juice I made for you Mr. Vulcan??? Can you please???#Tuvok: Fine but if I die it's your fault. If I die from the poison you're FORCING me to drink it's on y- Oh this is delicious actually.#and don't tell me 'Neelix didn't make it SPECIFICALLY for Tuvok' bc I know he didn't but he says#'I'll start squeezing that second glass!' after Tuvok finishes his sip so he IS freshly squeezing it#Neelix: -makes Tuvok fresh squeezed juice-#Tuvok: Are you trying to poison me???#Neelix: -talks to Tuvok while making his eggs-#Tuvok: Can you be quiet???#<- TUVOK!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU EHHEHEHEH <3#Tuvok is the most annoying guy ever bc he doesn't care about what people think and is a snob with a lowkey superiority complex#vs Neelix is perceived as annoying (post his relationship with Kes) bc he cares a lot about being useful and helping the crew and sometimes#is too pushy because of that but listen...I think Neelix is sweet and genuinely trying his best - after the Kes plotline with him ends I#really don't find him objectionable. Just chatty & a bit overbearing maybe Meanwhile Tuvok !!!#Meanwhile Tuvok!!!!!!!!! HHEHEHHE#st voyager#star trek voyager#I think they should have done more with Neelix thinking the crew of Voyager were spoiled - specifically how Tuvok acts Like That sometimes#little lord Tuvok. oH SORRY...for DEIGNING to speak while preparing your eggs your HIGHNESS!!#I think people do a disservice to Tuvok by not talking more about how he's kind of a hardass and a snob v_v also a disservice to Janeway#indirectly bc her bestie is kind of a hardass and a snob and what does that say about her??#I also wish Neelix kept up a bit of that 'these people are crazy and also so soft oh my god shut up about the food being bad - we're trying#to SURVIVE!!! Eat the Leola Root!!' from the earlier seasons...I like when he shows he has a bit of bite#It's just funny and interesting that Janeway isn't friends with Tuvok bc he's 'not like other Vulcans' - she's friends with the most#Vulcany Vulcan ever and I love that for them.#CRIMINAL that we don't ever get any in-depth insight into their friendship#Tuvok
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wishmemel · 9 months ago
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i feel so relaxed and happy and in love with my life knowing today was a reset day. i did my homework, took ample breaks, prayed, oiled my hair, took a warm shower, shaved, washed my hair, and am about to study some more before bed. when did i miss out on life being so simple and beautiful?
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the-casbah-way · 28 days ago
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i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry
#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad#i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad#trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself#idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out#but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it#i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk#like i’m not even supposed to know he existed#idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists#me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised#idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid#it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad#every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me#and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could#him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar#so i know he must have been special too#i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once#but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine#so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind#and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that#i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up#nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again#i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself#and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time#but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way#i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it#he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker#i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like#he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead#he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will
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transgaysex · 7 months ago
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every day i choose kindness and i do it through gritted teeth
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spaceymarz · 4 months ago
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do NOT kill yourself. Stoked (2009) can save you.
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betty-talks · 5 months ago
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You ever think about graduating high school/college and instead of staying where you are, just cutting EVERYONE off, deleting socials and changing numbers, and just hauling ass out of here?
Like I want to move far away from the east coast and get a shitty studio apartment somewhere far away from here where I know no one and can just restart my life. Maybe even change my name.
It’s not like I don’t love the people in my life right now, but I just need a fresh start, a clean slate, something, anything but this.
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spontaneousmusicalnumber · 1 year ago
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Every time I have to settle for Wendy's over the restaurant I was planning to go to, I'm shunted into a fucking circus and my chances of escaping with a semblance of edible food is a toss up.
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badolmen · 2 years ago
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Look at me. LOOK at me. Old growth forests are important. Their loss is violence against the land.
BUT that isn’t a reason to point at younger, perfectly healthy closed canopy forests and claim they’re ecologically insignificant or bad. Their sparse understory is a function of closed canopy forests. Even old growth forests will have sparse understories if the canopy is closed. That’s how photosynthetic strata works.
The west coast has vastly different forests and history than the east. The rare volcanic eruption that made the giant stands of Douglas fir in the west possible would be literally impossible here. Our species are adapted for stand replacing fires set by indigenous peoples to drive deer and rejuvenate oak. Oak as a genus is dying here. We can’t set fires. We can’t harvest patches large enough to simulate a fire. Our deer are overpopulated and browse down every sprout that dares to reach for sunlight.
Making a sweeping ban on clear-cut and similarly ‘scary’ harvests would kill them for good. The restrictions on fire have nearly done that to species like Jack and pitch pine that rely heavily on fire to establish. They’ve been relegated to pine barrens and the rare sandy forest clearing. Our fire Cherry, thankfully, can last decades in the soil seedbank. You can only see them the first few decades after a large, complete harvest and then they die.
What’s good for one forest kills another. Not all trees are made ecologically equal - and that’s a very good thing. All trees and forests have their ecological value. Management of one forest is never applicable to other forests; they all have their own unique histories and communities that should be imitated when possible and left alone when not.
#ra speaks#personal#forest#forestry#I wanna agree w old growth forest folks so bad but then they turn around and say shit like ‘there is NEVER a good reason to clearcut’#babes the kirt warbler would like to argue. bitches need 10-15 ft Jack pine to nest in. they’re picky.#you ain’t getting 10-15 ft Jack pine without a large. stand replacing. disturbance.#*shaking Californians by the shoulders* THERE IS MORE FOREST TO THE WORLD THAN DOUGLAS FIR. WHY ARENT YOU PROTECTING THE CLIFFSIDE CEDARS?#we have cedars on this coast that are OLD GROWTH. nobody but weird tree ppl seem to care bc THEYRE UGLY AF AND SMALL.#that doesn’t mean they’re ���not old growth’#gosh do NOT even get me started on the semantics of old growth#and like. yeah we can’t replace old growth in the west BUT NOT BC PLANTATIONS HAVE A HARVEST SCHEDULE.#it’s because the original old growth only exists bc a VOLCANIC ERUPTION wiped out most everything else and laid a nice bed of ash#for the seedlings to establish in. id rather a shitty plantation keep a 50-60 ur harvest schedule on a single piece of land#than have them slowly chip away at literally irreplaceable trees in the name of#‘sustainable forestry’ babe there is no sustaining the western old growth. either a volcano decides to give it a fresh start or not#I hate hate hate the eternal-ness ppl have attached to forests they are not here for you they aren’t even here for species that rely on them#they’re here bc a long time ago nothing else was. they’re here bc the soil was just right. they’re here bc the people before respected that#but also understood their power to shape the landscape. and in doing so they created diversity rarely seen this far north.#sorry. it’s been a day. needed a good rant.
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