#nb voice say less?? which ones

[lanternlightss]

every time i write amos and nameless bard i feel like it gets increasingly obvious that i headcanon amos is the one hes close to out of the group (besides venti)

[alwaysthefool]

Hi, I read your post about wanting request. If you didn't mind, can I ask headcannon + story where MC being slapped by their friend until she bruise, and the Lads men just come when her friend is in middle of shouting some unkind words to her and they see her bruise?

Hi sure but I do hope nothing like this happened IRL and if it did, I’m so sorry! But anyway, enjoy!

Warnings: violence, misogyny, murder mentions ⚠️— if that is bothersome to you, you can skip to Zayne, Tara, and Rafayel’s parts which are less violent

Tags: angst, comfort, f!reader (she/they)/MC. I added Tara, hope you don��t mind.

[I’m considering the friend to be a guy in Sylus and Xavier’s case, and NB in Zayne, Tara, and in Rafayel’s.]

(Premise for Xavier and Sylus)

You didn’t know why he’d do that. Your friend called you out to the park where you’d hang out after training on your way back home. You never considered him close, but there he was, in front of you, pouring his heart out, shocking you with details about you that you did not remember telling him. Your heartbeat grew faster from stress, a small relief knowing the watch on your wrist would send a distress signal to him.

“So, will you go out with me?” He smiled with his teeth, eyes widened.

“Uh,” You laughed in hesitation, not saying anything substantial, looking behind you to see if he had arrived. “I…”

But before you could say anything more, his expression turned angry. “You’re waiting for him, aren’t you?”

A slur left his lips, and before you knew it, you were on the ground, ears ringing, and your cheek burning. You didn’t expect it, and it only ‘hit’ you, a few moments later. You had been slapped, and hard. Usually, you’d clap back immediately, but were stopped by what he called you over and over again. Those words you’d heard before, which haunted you, and froze you, hurting far worse coming from someone you considered a friend.

Xavier

Hmm, so in such a situation, I think Xavier, based on his lore would straight up……. Yeah. Of course, he’d try to hide it from you, but if he saw this happen, he wouldn’t be able to hold back at that moment.

In one of his tender moments (the one where she’s treating him to drinks), such a situation does happen, but MC wasn’t hurt there. I think this behaviour would be his response to MC being physically and emotionally scarred.

Xavier, arriving at the park, did not even think to assess the situation. He saw you on the ground crying, and immediately lunged at that hunter in front of you. Camaraderie meant nothing to him in front of his beloved crying. It was impossible to see him coming.

You had no idea what happened, but a glowing light surrounded you, familiar and comforting. Xavier kneeled down in front of you, pushing your hand out of your face gently, his jaw tensing as he saw your bloodied lip and red cheek. The ringing in your ear had stopped, but the echoes of those words didn’t. You pulled away from him, hugging your knees, trying to say something, but you knew if you tried to speak a single word, a flood of sobs would come pouring out your lips.

Red eyed and red faced, you looked away from him.

“[Name],” He tried, his voice gentle. “Come to me, please.”

He looked at you with such tenderness, you couldn’t resist. You finally sobbed into his shoulder, with him holding you lightly, stroking your back. “Let’s go home,” He whispered. “It must hurt, right?”

You nodded, finding your way to his back, nudging him. Xavier chuckled. “You demand a piggyback ride from me like it’s your right.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, as he lifted your thighs around his waist. “You’re my knight in shining armour after all.” You mumbled weakly.

You couldn’t see it, but you were sure Xavier smiled. As you left the park, you tried to glance back to see what became of your former friend, but Xavier stopped you abruptly. “Don’t look! It’s not a pretty sight.

I’ll get Jeremiah to clean up later.”

Sylus

Well, you already saw what happened in his story, right? He’s a criminal, so he wouldn’t hesitate to off that person, but he’ll spare you of the sight. I’m not sure if he’d make the person suffer though…

If you heard hurtful words, he’s going to tend to those SO tenderly, and assure you that all of that was nonsense.

You promised to meet Sylus after work, texting him that you’d be a bit late because your friend had something important to say. His guard was already up at that moment, and when he saw your heart beat rise in the watch he’d given you, he was already on his motorcycle. Sylus felt his world crumble when he saw you listening to such cruel words, hurt, on the ground.

He did not even finish taking his helmet off when his evol flung the man in front of you almost a yard back.

You weren’t shocked. It was similar to how you’d first met, and though that was a negative experience, every time he’d come to save you since then had been nothing but warm. You looked up at Sylus, who was a few feet away from you, faint red tendrils on his sleeve. As always, everything was up to you, but this time he outstretched his arms for you.

You ran to him, almost jumping in his arms, crying on his chest. He held you firmly, resting his face on the top of your head. “My kitten.” His voice, too, was broken, but on hearing him, you nuzzled your face on his torso, earning a bitter chuckle out of him.

“Will you tell me what happened?” He wrapped his coat around you, guiding you to his car, keeping you firmly against him. Luke and Kieran were there too, and on Sylus’ gesture, ran towards your ex friend who you could faintly hear groaning in the background. Sylus was going to take his time with him, and you did not mind.

“If I do, I’ll cry a lot.”

“That’s alright. I’ll make sure to kiss all your tears away.”

(Premise for Zayne, Rafayel, and Tara)

(This is kinda insp off kdrama moments LOL)

You stepped in the café where your friend had agreed to meet you. You waved to them, happy to see them after so long, but they seemed to be tense. Right as you approached them, a glass of water was thrown at you, making everyone turn their heads at the commotion.

“It’s all your fault!” They yelled, clutching the glass. “I was demoted because of you!”

You frowned, still giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, asking them what you did. They scoffed, as if appalled by your cluelessness. They came closer to you, and a slap landed on your face, making you turn red immediately. It stung, but not as much as what they said next. “How did you pass the evaluation and not me? Your evol is terrible, you’re weak, and an airhead!”

Their words drawled on, hurting you like knives to the chest, until…

Tara

Since she isn’t a canonical LI (i.e. her relationship with MC is so far ‘just because’), her reaction would obviously be milder.

She’d be confrontational to the person who hurt MC, and after the situation is handled, she’d try to cheer MC up. She’d try to distract you, but would also be willing to be a shoulder for your tears if that’s what you want instead.

Tara stood between you and your friend, reaching her hand out from behind her to hold your arm, as if to keep you safe. “What do you think you’re saying?” She asked the fellow hunter, eyebrows furrowed. “Do you even know why you weren’t promoted?”

After explaining to the now ashamed friend the reason behind why what happened did, Tara turned to you, holding your cheek. You felt your lip quiver at the gesture, and her eyes widened. “Oh, no no no!” She pleaded. She took you outside and sat you down at the outer tables, quickly grabbing an ice cream from a nearby vendor, holding it to your cheek like an ice pack.

You smiled at that, wiping away whatever hint of tears there were in your eyes. She smiled even wider, scooting her chair over near yours. “How are you feeling?” She asked, her eyes expectant.

“Kinda ashamed.” You replied, honest about your heart.

“It’s not your fault.” Her tone was reassuring. “That person has their Mars in Capricorn, giving them the tendency to blame others for their own faults. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jenna didn’t want them on the team for that attitude alone.”

“How do you even know their birth chart?” You laughed.

“Okay, I made it up.” She took the ice cream packet from you, opening it and bringing it close to your lips before it started to melt. “But it was worth it if I got to hear you laugh.”

Zayne

He’d be very mature about it, and comfort you like a baby. Being a doctor, he’d immediately see to your wounds, and be gentle for the rest of the day.

From what we saw with Carter, he would bear a grudge against that ‘friend’ and remember their face in case they visit the hospital in the future. 😈

Zayne pulled you away from the prying eyes, the commotion, and the snake you called a friend. Outside, in the shade, he blew on and examined your face, stroking his thumb lightly over where you were hit. Amidst his evaluation, his eyes met your puppy eyes, brimming with tears. So he pulled you in, not caring for who would see.

“Shh.” He comforted you as you held his coat tightly. When you finally pulled away, not meeting his face, he put his hand on your back and took you to his nearby parked car, opening the passenger’s side door for you, making sure you were sat comfortably before going over to the driver’s seat. He touched your face with calloused fingers, as if seeking permission to hold you, and so you turned to him, looking at his eyes that always held that look of reverence for you.

He took an alcohol pad out of his pocket, cleaning your face with it, asking you if it hurt anywhere else.

“Are you sure?” He asked when you said you weren’t. You nodded, thanking him silently. He leaned over to give you a kiss on the forehead, and tied your seatbelt for you, before putting on his own, and turning the keys into ignition.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“My house. I want to take good care of you, if you’ll let me.”

Rafayel

Boy oh boy. I feel like he would be so petty about it.

Although he’d gossip and make jokes, he’d subtly try to check on MC’s feelings too.

You stood there, face drenched in the water your friend threw on you, but you were still in a better condition than them, who had been soaked with paint water Rafayel emptied on them. The crowd in the café watched the drama intently as Rafayel retorted to the insults thrown at you with more snide remarks.

You were wide eyed when Rafayel took your hand, wrapping you in his cardigan, holding your shoulders and taking you to the door, apologising politely to the cashier for the mess on the way out. Outside, he brought his face close to your cheek, looking at it closely.

You pulled away, red from the proximity. “What are you doing?”

“Relax.” He stood up straight. “I’m just making sure my bodyguard isn’t out of commission.”

“Well, it’d take a lot more than that to stop me.” You mumbled, walking with him. “But… thanks.”

Rafayel smiled, holding your hand in his own. “So, tell me, how’d you like to get your revenge? Planting some stolen protocores in their third rate bag and then reporting them? Using their number to sign up for spammy websites?”

“No, Rafayel!” You laughed, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I think just gossiping with you is enough.

[umadosedepascal]

72 HOURS WITH HIM | Pedro Pascal x f!reader| PART IV

Written by Santa trindade

Banner by @ithedevilsbaby

Made in Brazil

Pairing : Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: The shooting in Malta keeps going, all Pedro needs is a weekend off, well…he got it. Would you go meet him for only three days? Hmmm yes!

warning/rating: [first person][unprotected piv] [SMUT] [one bite] [Pedro dominates][overstimulation][holding neck] [slaps][take off your clothes][oral m receiving/f receiving][spitting] [eating cum][champagne on body][dirty talk]

w/c: 5.6k

a/n: you guys know Pedro is a sweetheart, but for us, in bed.. he is kinda diff. It can have fluff moments here and there but what we want is to see how dominating he is…with you. HAPPY NEW YEAR! 💦

"How far would you go for a wonderful sex?"

I have asked myself this question over and over again since Pedro called me two days ago, almost begging me to go to another continent just to see him for three days.

How far would I go? Well, it's a funny question, even a little embarrassing, but here I am landing at Malta airport.

When Pedro asked if I would like to stay with him for a weekend in Malta I thought it was a joke, because until then I thought he was in another place, it is difficult to keep up with his routine, we talk almost every day texting, he calls me whenever he can, for him the end of the day is the beginning for me.

This time he looked different on the phone, his voice a little tired, but the excitement was present, a little more excited than usual...

"Hey babe, listen... I'm in Malta now, we managed to advance a few scenes, that was crazy, but... I will not shoot for next few days, then I thought you could come, who knows... Stay with me, just three days if you want..."

He knew my answer would be yes, and in less than thirty minutes an email with a ticket to Malta was there.

As soon as I leave the airport gate, I see a man holding a sign with my last name, he drives me to the hotel. The city is beautiful, but I can barely pay attention on the landscape that runs through the window, my thought are on the last message that Pedro sent me.

"I can't wait to have you here with me..."

Pedro asked me to be confidential, even though I'm a complete stranger, he doesn't need this kind of attention now, so we are staying in separate rooms, for all the rest I'm just a tourist.

The room he got for me is ridiculously huge, huge bed, huge bathtub in the background, with framing pillars, giving an almost Greek touch, I could feel Aphrodite herself here.

I unpack my suitcase and get a short and fresh dress, I go to the bathroom, ignoring the desire to get into the bathtub.

_Later, dear, later_

I enter the bathroom and look in the mirror, seeing my reflection, biting my lower lip I think

_He's worth this whole trip. It's only three days, he'll be away for months, and fuck, I miss him so much... _

After a relaxing shower I get dressed and when I pick up my phone to send him a message, someone knocks on the door.

“Yeah? Who is it?” I ask while a message him.

“Room service” the voice says behind the door.

I didn't ask for room service, maybe I forgot something at the lobby. I go towards the door and when I open it, there he is, standing at the door side smile, his hands behind his back.

Before saying anything, I just stare at him, the good old yellow Lakers t-shirt, blue shorts with green details, striped socks and NB’s. He is hot, skin slightly tanned, messy hair, everything in him was so perfect that I could stare at him for hours. Seeing him there in front of me out of nowhere made me let out an involuntary sigh, which made his smile open more and say, knowing the power he had over me.

“I couldn't wait to see you...”

I pull him into the room, he closes the door behind him and pushes me to the wall, getting my lips close to his I say:

“Thanks for the invite, too bad we can't hang out here together..” he puts his lips in my ear and says in a whisper:

“I know babe, but you know the drill...” I smile and answer

“Yeah, I know... But i'm stocked whit this room... Look at this hot tub, you crazy” without thinking Pedro slides his hand off his back and goes down my right thigh and says:

“Exactly like my room, but you know what? I had a picture of us fucking on that hot tub... That's why I brought you here” so I feel the burning of the slap where his hand caressed me.

I take his hand and lead him to the mini bar, and say that I was waiting for him to choose us a drink, he frowns looking at the options and looks at me.

“Sparkling wine?” I say.

He takes off the seal with his mouth and laughs when the cork flies up screaming “To the hot tub!”. Laughing together he serves us, we toast looking at each other, the desire is already on fire. He looks at me, glazed on me. All his movements seem to be planned to drive me crazy.

He serves the glasses again while telling me the experience has been, he tells in such an excited way that I don’t realize it I'm smiling just from hearing him speak. We drank one, two, three glasses, while we are sitting on the benches of the mini bar. He speaks and I just listen, I could stay all night listening to the sound of his voice telling about anything, right now I'm so hypnotized that I don't care about anything else.

“You are beautiful babe... Did you get ready for someone in particular?” he says in an ironic but sensual tone, while rubbing his cold hand from the wine glass under my dress, gently smoothing my thigh, his thumb drawing circles on my skin.

“I’m here to meet someone, some hot guy” I return the affection, putting my hand on his thigh, walking with my fingers and squeezing slowly. The touch is so soft, but it seems to be enough to light something inside it.

“I'm here exclusively for him.”

Pedro straightens his posture on the bench and lets out a slow sigh, staring at me, a look of desire that I recognize perfectly, he has looked at me like this so many times.

He gets up from the bench and holds out his hand, inviting me to get up too. He lays his hands on my waist and squeezes slightly, pulling me closer to him. At this moment I feel that he is already hard, his body is hot, and I can say that mine is the same . Every second he touches me, it's a second more than I want him, I want to have him inside me, fuck all I want now is him inside me.

“What a lucky guy, huh?” he speaks bringing his lips closer to my neck, the hot air of his breath, beard shaving my skin, it chills me all over, I close my eyes and throw my head slightly back, exposing my neck more as he drags his teeth through my neck, the feeling of his body touching mine intensifies, his mouth touching my skin slowly makes me release a low moan.

“You have no idea how many times I dream of you here” he says softly while I arch my back

“I imagined you in that hot tub “ he says as he raises his head pointing to the jacuzzi, his fingers now play with the straps of the dress on my shoulders, he lowers them letting them fall to the sides.

“I imagined you screaming my name while I make you cum... I imagined several times, I even dreamed about it”

My body is taken by an overwhelming, wild desire, it knows exactly how to drive me crazy, and at this moment I can only formulate a single phase in response.

“Well, I'm here exclusively for you...make your dreams come true” smiling at him I watch his look darken

“You shouldn't say things like that babe... I can be very demanding” he says and I feel his fingers walking through my arms, until our hands are intertwined. He looks at my breasts still covered by the dress, he looks up slowly, stopping at my lips and moving on to my eyes.

His look is pure fire, that brown sea seems to be burning, and I can't wait to get burned.

Pedro takes my hands and guides him to front of his shorts, even through the fabric I can feel how hard he is, as soon as my hands find his cock, he pushes his hip forward and moans low when I squeeze him.

“Are you feeling this? How did I miss those hands…”

His hands go up to my face, framing my face he passes his thumb through my lower lip, I bite and pass my tongue soon after, this makes him bite his own lip, growling softly.

He lowers his fingers to my neck, holding firmly, lowering his nails so slowly that it makes me breathe heavily, I close my eyes feeling his touch, when I feel his hands go down to my breasts I open my eyes and face those eyes that are my doom.

His hands rest on the sides of my breasts, his thumbs slide until I find my nipples goosebumps, even under the fabric of the dress they are still visible.

“I have an idea” he moves away and sits back on the bench, one arm on the bench holding a glass and the other hand he wraps the shoelace of the shorts around his fingers. He looks at me for long seconds, I stand still, my body obeys him in a way that I am not able to explain.

“Slowly take off the dress for me... “

I feel my blood boiling, my heartbeats rise to my ears, my body burns, looking for him, in need of him.

I hold the dress on my breasts and slowly lower it, feeling his eyes burn me, the fabric slips and gets tangled up on my waist, I look at him and he is drinking the champagne while squeezing his cock over his shorts, with up and down movements.

“Fuck, you are so fucking hot you know that? Take off your clothes “ I push the dress down and then it falls into a puddle at my feet, leaving me only in black lace panties.

Pedro raises his right hand and calls me with two fingers, I walk to him feeling my legs shaking, but I keep my gaze fixed on his. He pulls me keeping me trapped between his legs, his hands holding my ass.

“ Now be a good girl and turn on that jacuzzi for us huh? “ he says giving me a strong slap in my side thigh, my skin burns.

I go to the hot tub, walking through the room only in panties and feeling his eyes follow my movements, I sit on the edge of that and press all the buttons that are there, I look at him and give a shy laugh confessing:

“I don't know how to...” he approaches and as he slowly climbs the steps he takes off his shirt by throwing it on the floor

I feel my throat dry and my mouth open watching him…

_How did he look like that in such a short time? _

He quickly presses the right button and the bathtub starts to filling up, he extends his hand and calls me to bed

“It's going to take sometime to fill up”

Still watching his body change, I don't hold it and ask

“How?” he shrugs and answers “For the movie, babe”he holds my wrists and pulls me against his chest and it’s hot, I immediately put my lips on his neck, he moans and grabs my ass tightly.

I go down slowly licking and kissing every inch of slightly salty skin, I pass my tongue in a circle through his nipples, I bite gently and it makes him moan and smirk.

I raise my eyes and see that he is following every move I make. I go down slowly while my hands undo the knot of his shorts, I slide my hand inside and I feel his pulsating, I notice the small wet spot of excitement over his boxers and pull his cock out slowly, just the tip, light pink mush head already drooling pre cum.

I look at him again, he grabs my hair and says softly:

“Suck me” I run my thumb through the head, spreading the pre cum, I say:

“Is that what you want?” he moans begging “Yea yea do it” taking his hand behind my head he grabs the back of my neck against his cock, I feel his trimmed pubhair next to my nose.

On my knees I run my hands through his thighs, pull a little his boxers leaving only his cock out, hold it and pass my tongue all over his shaft, reaching the tip cleaning the pre cum, hold by the base near the balls and put it in my mouth, feeling it touch my throat. He gasps, I can feel how ready he is to fuck me any minute.

Between sucking and licking I go up, licking his body until I stand up and pushing him to sit on the edge of the bed, I climb on his lap, I sit on top of his hard cock rubbing myself, grabbing his hair and kiss him slowly, savoring his mouth, his mustache pinching me. He holds me by the thighs and gets up, he interrupts the kiss and looks at the hottub that is ready, he says:

“Let's go?”

Pedro lets me go and hold his hand guiding him to the jacuzzi, his gaze fixed on my body, as if he had never wanted me as much as he does now.

My trembling legs can barely climb the steps without faltering, when I reach the edge, I pull him close to my body and wrap the back of his neck in my left hand, causing his face to go close to mine, my right hand slides through his tummy til it reaches his hard on, holding his cock I feel him twitching at my touch.

I bring my lips closer to his with a soft kiss I go down to his neck passing my tongue slowly until I get close to his ear I say low:

“Your turn” whispering I hook my fingers to the waistband of his shorts and I take it off, as the clothes go down my body follows, his cock jumping on my face, getting on my knees to him.

I take off his shorts throwing them to the side, untie his NB’s throwing same side as the shorts. I raise my eyes to find his eyes that I believe at no time have deviated from me.

I hold his thigh with my left hand while the right goes up to to his dick and start stroking him, he sighs and throws his head back, his breath getting panting again getting heavier as I accelerate the movements, the tip of his pink cock getting full of pre cum

“Oh fuck... Fuck” he moans while I touch him, I can feel his thigh muscles contracting every time I run my thumb over the head of his cock and sucking my finger looking at him

“Let me fuck that mouth... Let me” I barely give him time to beg and start sucking him, he moans so hot, putting a hand on my head, holding my hair in his fist, dictating the rhythm he wants.

“Your mouth is so hot, so fucking hot babe” he talks among moans and hisses. I'm already dripping, the excitement taking over my body. Pedro pushes my head against his cock, making me choke, it makes my pussy pulsate.

He knows he could fuck my mouth all night long, but he remembers that there is something better waiting for him, so grabbing my hair he pulls me up, leaving me standing in front of him. He looks to the side, towards the windows that frame the landscape outside.

“This view, I thought about you several times while looking at it” he turns me around, leaving me with my back to him, I feel his skin hot a thin layer of sweat. Pedro holds my hair and with his lips close to my ear, feeling the hot and panting breath, it's all so intoxicating.

“Yeah, it's pretty “ I agree, the view is beautiful, but my body can't focus on what my eyes see, the excitement has taken over me, so I close my eyes and let the feeling of his body glued to mine dominate me.

“Open your eyes” he says with his chin resting on my shoulder, I feel Pedro lower his fingers going down my back, scratching me going towards my ass, his fingers playing with my panties, pulling down so slowly, taking off my panties he throws in a corner, his right hand between my legs rising together more until he finds my pussy, his index and middle finger sliding through my wet pussy, Pedro bites my ass and gets up licking my back until he reaches my neck, keeping his hand over my pussy and whispers in my ear:

“I came in the hot tub thinking about you, you know? Watching this view, and now... Now I'm going to make you cum the same way.”

Then Pedro slide two fingers inside me, with precise movements, I try to muffle my moans, covering my mouth, he pulls my hand and holds my arm behind my back making me get closer to him.

He is not fast, the movements are calm and precise, a calculated torture. Every time he fucks I feel my pussy squeeze around his fingers.

He takes out his fingers and circles my waist slowly, going down his hand he begins to make circular movements on my clit, making me arch my back, I'm so close to cumming, I close my eyes without feeling and he quickly orders

“Open your eyes my little bitch, open!“ he talks while fast the movements on my clit, I feel the orgasm approaching

“I want you cumming enjoying the view... Just enjoying the view babe “ he again slides two fingers in my pussy roughly, his palm rubbing my clit, that's enough and makes me cum on his fingers, he moaning in my ear satisfying himself with my pleasure. My body trembles glued to his body, Pedro gets even harder, I can feel him against my ass.

He holds my waist and turns me to him, kissing me I feel my body still shaking, recovering from orgasm.

“I love how your body responds so fucking well to me” he lowers his head and licks the curve of my neck, distributing bites

“And I want more” I say while I feel his tongue torture me, walking around my neck, I close my eyes and I feel his cock poking my stomach, leaving it wet with pre cum.

Pedro say softly everything he wants to do to me, only the sound of his low and hoarse voice is enough to excite me more and more. I put my hand between our bodies and stroke him, feeling how his cock is pulsating, how hot it is feeling his breath in my ear.

“ I want you so bad in this jacuzzi babe, but right now i need to feel you... Be inside you” Pedro says this by holding my neck so that I look him in the eyes and puts the fingers that were in my pussy in his mouth, proving my taste, he closes his eyes while savoring me, moaning.

He takes my hand and guides me to the edge, he sits down and I watch his body, his back touching the marble, he opens his legs and my eyes rise watching the shapely thighs, his cock twitching over his stomach, his hair even more shaggy.

It's an unbearable sight.

“ Ride me, sit on me….” a moan escapes from my throat with his order, as I'm going down to ride him he slaps my right thigh hard.

“Sit with your back to me, slut “ I love it when he curses me like that.

I crouch down and feel him holding his cock and rubbing it through the entrance of my folds, hitting my clit torturing me.

Pedro moans some Spanish words in my ear, hearing him speaking like that is what makes me pulse and sit on his cock, feeling him fill me completely.

With a loud moan I feel his desperate hands holding my waist, guiding the movements, back and forth back and forth…I squeeze his cock and that's enough for Pedro to bite my shoulder and hold my neck with his left hand, with his right he grabs me tightly, going down his hand to swipe my breasts, squeezing and pulling my nipples. He holds my neck and pulls me making me stick my back to his chest

“My favorite bitch you love to squeeze my cock huh? Come on, give me one fucking more... Cum for papi” he says this between bites, Pedro slides his hand until he finds my clit, his fingers circling hard making me scream, but my screams and moans are being strangled by his hand on my neck, I feel my vision dark but it's so good that I don't say anything but moans and supplications.

I grind rubbing myself, my hands holding his legs, feeling my body slip by his, I'm close I know he knows, he feels my body, he knows my body like no one else.

“Cum on my cock my little bitch! Now!” and with the order he gives I cum, strong, he lets go of my neck and holds the back of my neck making me turn to look into his eyes, he reaches my lips, kissing me Pedro swallows all my moans and screams of the spasm I just felt cumming with his cock inside me.

I start to close my legs, he growls and bites my lower lip, releasing my hair he holds my leg preventing me from closing them.

“Cum again I want to feel it” I don't know if my body can take it, but I want to give it everything he wants.

“Please please please” he lets go of my lips and holds the back of my neck, looking me in the eyes he says laughing:

“Fuck, you look so fucking sexy when you beg”

“Let's go into the hot tub, hottie” I say without strength due to the strong orgasm of seconds ago

_He wants more, I'll give it to him_

I get up feeling my legs tremble, I climb the step and sit on the edge, Pedro enters the bathtub and dives in, he crawls to me and with a movement he runs his hands on his hair fixing them, he crawls to me like a snake, he reaches the button behind me and turns on the hydromassage.

He drops his hands down my thighs to my knees, he makes me open my legs, he pushes me so that I'm almost lying down, approaching his face he begins to torture me, giving slow licks along with bites through the inside of my thighs, always looking into my eyes

“You gonna cum in my mouth now” he says and runs his tongue slowly through my clit, while whispering “Do you understand?” With his thumbs he opens my pussy to have a perfect angle, he sucks and pulls his lips, sticking his tongue in me as if it were his cock. He lifts one of my legs on his shoulder, leaving me more exposed.

I observe that his right hand goes back into the water, he's jerking off while sucking me, it's hard to keep my eyes open, I force my body to observe everything, I'm almost cumming and with weak moans I beg him to fuck me.

“You so dirty doing this” he looks at me with dark eyes and says with his mouth on my thigh distributing bites and hickeys.

“Do you want dirty?” no chance to answer he pulls me by the legs, making me scream with fright and fall into the water.

Pressing me against the wall of the bathtub he climbs a hand on my face, squeezing my cheeks making me open my mouth he spits on my tongue, waiting for me to swallow, then kissing me so hungry that I feel my lips hurt.

He kisses me and drags his lips to my ear to moan and growl my name.I accidentally scratch his back, he stop and says calmly:

“Don't do it bitch, otherwise you will regret it” he wraps his arm behind my head, making it my support, then he positions his cock in my pussy and slides inside me, I moan loudly, he puts his free hand over my lips and talks while punching me.

“Shut up you cunt hmmm” he fucks harder. The water following our movements, my mouth meets his again, I go towards his chin, his jaw, his beard scratching my face is too much for me.

Our bodies burned even in already cold water, it was as if we were able to set the room on fire at any time.

The touch of his hands on my body gives me goosebumps, it's so good, so soft but also so delirious.

He grabs my hips, pulling my body against his, his cock still buried inside me, pulsating feeling my pussy squeeze, feeling that hot pain.

His arms slide around my waist and lift me up and when I can tell, I'm out of the jacuzzi, sitting again on the edge. He gets up slowly, teasing me I can't divert my eyes from his body, the wet skin, the drops of water that run down his tummy until it drips to find his cock.

It can be the longing speaking or simply the Mediterranean air does it good, which I know is he is exhaling a sexuality that drives me crazy.

“What do you want now, huh?”

I ask while he offers his hand to me helping me get up

“We gonna wet the whole bed if we go there like this…”

“No problem babe” he says as he approaches me putting his hands on my waist, with his face almost glued to mine, forehead with forehead, his eyes never abandon me, this is something Pedro always has: eye contact.

“You can sleep with me in my room, in my bed.. if anyone see, i really don't care”

My body is taken by an excitement, I don't know if it's why he doesn't mind having me in his room, in a hotel full of actors and people who know him, or because of his cock that throbs against my stomach while I answer

“So in that case I think we have to take the risk” he smiles, that beautiful smile, he holds my hand and leads me to the bed, when we get to the foot of the bed I push him and make him lie down

“Oh.. so you want to be in control now? “ he says as he pulls a pillow under his head, giving a little smile

“show me what you want.. show me...”

I climb on top of him, one leg on each side of his hip, holding his cock I fit in my pussy and sit slowly, feeling him open me, centimeter by centimeter, this makes him release a slow moan with his eyes closed.

“Oh fuck... Your pussy is my weakness... My fucking weakness” he speaks as he opens his eyes and watches my pussy swallow him as I start riding, leaning my hands on his chest I feel his cock so deep in me that he touches my G-spot.

“Do you like it huh? Like it when your little bitch rides you” I can feel another orgasm forming on me, I take a hand off his chest and put two fingers in his mouth, Pedro sucks and then I drag the same hand to touch my clit, it makes him moan and slap my ass.

“I love to see you touching yourself babe... Fuck don't stop don't stop!”

I keep riding while I masturbate, our eyes are attached to each other my body begins to beg to cum, Pedro holds my hip so tightly that I know I will have marks to remember. He guides my movements, I'm close

“I'm gonna cum... please cum with me” I speak while grinding faster feeling my pleasure swallowing me “Please Pedro cum inside me...”

I cum on his cock and feel the hot jet of cum fill me, cumming next to me, moaning and saying disconnected words.

A few seconds pass and I'm still riding on him, trying to make my body obey and move, he looks at me and laughs.

Pedro pulls me and kisses me, in fact two desperate mouths hitting each other, uncontrolled tongues, bites and sighs.

He interrupts the kiss and holds my neck, fingers rubbing the sweaty skin, he can feel the pulsating vein of my neck, he slides until he curls his fingers on the back of my neck, holding a handful of hair between his fingers, he pulls back, making my face stand up to him, looking into my eyes he speaks calmly and slowly

“Get on your knees... I'm not done with you yet” I get up from the bed soon he gets up and holds my hair forcing me down I feel the icy floor hitting my knees that contrast of the cold with my indented body, I look at him, imposing looking at me from above, like a Greek god, he has his cock pointing at my face, his sweaty red chest, his hair sticking to his forehead the irregular breathing, his lips half-open looking for fresh air.

“Come on, walk like a good daddy's dog that you are babe” he says that and pushes me to get on all fours on the floor, crawl for a few meters, he holding my hair as if it were a leash, he pulls me and making me stop walking, I sit on my heels and look into his eyes, my hands walk through his thighs, my eyes show all the horniness I'm feeling, they talk more than my own mouth would be able to say.

“Suck very very slowly... you understood?I want you to taste me again” I nod my head confirming, licking my lips when I see his cock getting hard again so close.

_God, should be a crime for him to be so hot_

He holds his cock by the base and rubs it on my face, wetting with pre cum, hitting my mouth teasing me.

I open my lips, I put my tongue out and it sticks to the bottom of my throat, I choke a little but I don't push it away, without cutting the eye contact my nails stick in his thighs, as if they were my life-saving boat, the air that my lungs need.

“Yeah babe like that slowly...” he moans and throws his head back, both hands tangled in my hair, holding a ponytail he guides my mouth the way he wants to fuck.

Pedro moves his hands away from my head and I see that he takes a bottle of champagne, he leans a little back and pours champagne down his body, soon I feel the alcohol trail coming into contact with my lips and his cock, making it a unique and extremely dangerous flavor.

“Do you like to swallow me like that bitch? Huh? Swallow it all” he pours more champagne and I swallow everything I can, push my lips away and keep sucking only the head of his dick, sucking hard and stroking him. My eyes never abandon his, he takes a few sips of champagne, the sight of him standing, wet with champagne while drinking straight from the bottle is suffocating, I put my left hand in my pussy and play with my clit, I want to cum admiring him, I want to give him an orgasm just with his cock in my mouth.

I suck his balls, one of each, feeling them contrairem on my tongue, he moans more when I do that. So I swallow him again, wrapping my tongue to the base and sticking it deep in my throat

“Fuck, that's what I want... Touch yourself for me, you cum on your fingers while swallowing my hot cum... Do you want that hot cum in the back of your throat?” I don't answer, I just stick his cock up to my throat and suck hard, with quick movements, my fingers circling my clit hard, I feel his cock pulse and then 4 jets of hot cum go down my throat, mixing with the champagne that was still present on my tongue.

I cum with him, feeling my pussy pulsate.

“Ohhh fuck you... Ahhh babe yeah like that... Fucking bitch”

When he starts having spasms of pleasure I take him out of his mouth, looking into his eyes and making the best whore face, I run my index finger through my lips and suck, showing him that I didn't let any drop of cum be wasted.

Pedro pulls me by the hair, holding my neck tightly and kisses me, not caring about feeling his own taste, he kisses me and holds my hand, interrupting the kiss but without diverting his eyes from mine, he licks my fingers and bites gently.

“Damn...you gonna kill me…”

I laugh and sink my face into his neck, the smell of sweat, sex and skin is intoxicating, I lick the salty taste of his skin and kiss his jaw

“Babe... let's go to the jacuzzi now.. relax?”

He smiles and take me to the jacuzzi, we already know where this will probably end.

—————————————

Thanks for being here and read our delusional fics, likes are appreciate, comments even more. If you want to ask anything, blast it!

[blueberrypancakesworld]

If you’re taking headcanon requests, I have a very specific idea for Frollo that’s been living rent free in my head for awhileeeeeee.

Imagine Frollo being summoned as a ghost into the modern world by a nonbinary spirit medium or witch. Just, let this man loose his entire mind as a FAR too lovely witch is running around chatting with ghosts, and trying to calm him tf down in the process XD

Probably doesn’t help that “nonbinary witch” would probably sound like evil itself to Frollo lol

The horror of the new day

Frollo x nb!reader

warning : just some funny things and a very confused Frollo

Info : Thanks for this request @add-a-bit-of-neurospice it was an interesting idea/concept but was like I said really,really fun to write. Frollo just in our time and dies again of the ,,sins" he sees everywhere :) I hope you like it and have fun reading ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hell had been his home since he had fallen into the flames in front of Notre Dame, the stone had crushed his body and the flames had not left him as ashes, he had been in hell.

His faith was right after his soul had left his body he found himself in. The infinite inferno was burning again, an eternal flame that tormented him until he threatened to lose his mind.

Time was irrelevant and he no longer had any feeling for it except the pain of seeing the souls of his victims and enemies pass by, but he hardly paid any attention to them.

Until one day in infinite time he felt his body rise from the flames and was freed. It had to be God he was convinced as the flames around him. Around him became less and less.

The darkness enveloped him before he heard a distant voice calling out to him, saying his name. Looking around for the person, his soul coalesced into the image, his body easily visible around the ring that had suddenly appeared.

He was heavier than the flames, heavier than the pain and it held him. It held him until the darkness around him receded, his voice became clearer and when he lifted his gaze he was standing in a room. ,,What is this?" he asked, confused as to why his jellyfish had ended because when he ascended he was supposed to be in the clouds, singing and becoming an angel.

,,Oh my Lillith, it worked!" he heard the voice more clearly and saw the right person. The first thing he noticed was the pointed hat and the necklace with the pentagram. A witch someone he would have burned immediately if he still had the time.

But when he looked further at the she-devil, he saw pants instead of a dress and her hair was short. A demon. ,,Demon, why did you call me?" he asked, a hint of fear in his voice, it must be a powerful being if it could summon him with a ring. ,,Demon? Oh no, I'm a witch, a medium do you understand Frollo?" the person asked him and continued to walk around the room excitedly, collecting ingredients, clothes and books and muttering to themselves.

It was a sight that confused and unsettled him. It couldn't be his time, in his time there was no glowing sun on the ceiling, no clocks that seemed so small and thin.

And this glowing book on which his summoner was typing only confused him even more. Suddenly he felt the ring that had summoned him glow and he understood even less what was going on. ,,Okay, Frollo, listen. You are in the year 2023 and I have to ask you a few questions for a assignment," he listened to the demon and gradually realized that hundreds of years must have passed.

Hundreds of years in which he suffered that felt like the eternal time of an hourglass. The world and especially the church seemed to have changed.

The more he saw of this wonderful space, the more he realized that there was neither a cross nor a holy image of Jesus and Mary. ,,Two thousand and twenty-three... and you demon summoned me?" he asked hesitantly and stopped in front of a glass box with a sun in it and saw a snake inside.

The demon's soul animal. He turned back to the strange creature in disgust. ,,Yes, I did, to be more precise, my first summoning. How do you feel, or rather, what was it like to fall to your death like that?" The person asked again and the spirit looked down at the ring.

The world was strange to him things had changed and yet the hellfire had stopped. Talking was not a sin and if it meant staying away from the fire why not...nothing could be worse than hellfire. ,,I fell dear summoner creature, the flames had surrounded me but not caught me. It was the stone that broke my body before the fire could take me," he began to tell, walking around the room and seeing the interested look on his necromancer's face.

He saw how the summoner continued to make notes while he told his life story.

It felt good to talk again and not just think about pain. And the longer he talked, the more interested his counterpart became. Maybe he even told untruths, lies, but in order to be heard, to be right and not get caught in the fire, he would tell this witch, this demon everything.

Even after death, his justification and his guilt had not changed. But why should it? He had a listener who believed it and that was all that mattered in the here and now.

Even though he had to admit that the longer he looked around this strange room, told his story and listened to the witch, he was still interested in these new things around him. Maybe he would have to make a contract to take on this kind of witchcraft.

He even had to smile once when he managed to scare the stranger. When he showed him the picture when he died. However, this only led to the stranger turning on music or something similar on the glowing book and starting to pray wildly and say prayers.

It was very confusing and these words like cell phone, light bulb and non-binary were things he called divine and devil. But all this time he started to like the company when he sat down in the chair that was touched by the witch, giving him access.

Even if his gaze went to the suns around him, his gaze was always on his savior while Frollo strove over the ring…for a moment he was completely grateful to have been saved…maybe there was still hope…for his soul in the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it @add-a-bit-of-neurospice

[impish-ivy]

Looking back at the prologue movie

Now we’ve finished S2 I wanted to look back at the prologue movie and see if we can make sense of it. I had a ton of fun previously theorizing on what it all meant. So I thought revisiting it after we had answers would also be fun! I’m sure most people know the plot but let’s recap anyways!

The Plot

The plot of the movie is a king summons a demon (for what for we don’t know) and he finds a human promises him happiness and the human promises to pray to him every night. The movie then ends before the demon could be named with Barbatos shushing. The story is voiced by Solomon’s VA.

Who is who?

The Demon: A demon named Nightbringer. We know tons and also nothing about him. He has time manipulation powers, has a history with Solomon, and has taken MC to the past for his goal (which we do not currently know). His identity is hidden and the most popular theory is that he’s Barbatos.

The Human: This a bit anticlimactic; the human could be Adam. Who we help to reach the open the Celestial gates and enter Celestial Realm to meet his lost lover, who’s assumingely Lilith. He’s also how we find out Nightbinger’s name. We have not heard from him since, although he was mentioned once afterwards when referring to why Mammon is a scaredy cat.

The King: Now this is the most interesting one. We currently don’t have a concrete answer who this is but we may have a solid candidate—the Fairy King. At the time of the prologue movie’s release the only kings we knew of were Diavolo’s father, The Demon King and Solomon. Although it was never confirmed it is widely accepted that Solomon was a king at some point in time. The issue was neither of these previous candidates made any sense. We know much less about the Fairy King and thus we’d be able to fit him better into this role.

The Plot 2

We know this is the scene where Adam and Nightbringer met and how they formed their deal. The game says that Adam walked until he couldn’t and ended up in the “The Land of Shadow”. Given how long that would take, it’s very likely Adam had long passed and was just a wandering soul when he met Nightbringer.

It’s stated in game that he was promised by Nightbringer that the one bearing the ring of light and wielding the power of angels would come and open the Celestial Realm’s gates to reunite him with his awaiting lost love. With MC doing just that.

Unfortunately this is where everything we know stops. The game has barely mentioned Nightbringer after a certain point and we haven’t seen or heard from Adam since lesson 8. Despite it NB being 2 Seasons (40 lessons) in we don’t have any solid answers.

I’d really like hear you guy think!

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

Michael's Elusiveness

While I'm on a Michael kick, I want to talk about how elusive he's been. I mean, he's been mentioned ever since season 1 of the OG, and he still hasn't shown up yet.

For a while, I just thought it was the devs being lazy and not wanting to draw a sprite. Which, perhaps it still is. But in light of Nightbringer, I think his elusiveness is also an intentional, integral part of his character. MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW:

"If there's one thing he's good at, it's running away."

-Raphael, Lesson 20 (Hard) (NB)

This line came immediately after Michael literally ran away from Raphael. Literally just bolted off, left his little brother and closest confidant in the dust, because he asked a question he didn't like. This isn't just the devs looking for an excuse not to show him anymore; this is a canon part of his character.

And when we look at it this way, it puts a lot of our past interactions with him in a different light.

Every single time we've crossed paths with Michael, he's obscured his identity.

The first time we "spoke" with Michael was at the end of S2(OG), when MC obtained the Ring of Light. They couldn't see Michael because he was obscured in blinding light. This could've been just a result of literally putting on an artifact called the ring of light, but I don't think so. Because when MC, justifiably, asked who the disembodied voice speaking to them was, he didn't give them a name. He intentionally avoided it, only calling himself "a friend". The only reason we know(?) this was Michael was because he let a little too much slip about his relationship to Lucifer. That made it pretty clear he didn't want them to know who he was.

The next time we "spoke" with Michael was early into S3- and once again, there was a bright blinding light obscuring him. Seeing a pattern here- this time, it's looking very much intentional. Once again, he neglected to introduce himself. In fact, MC didn't even get to ask this time, because they conveniently couldn't speak (he acknowledged this)

There were a couple other times as well, all of which having Michael obscured and abstaining from revealing his identity (intentionally, at least).

And then there was Nightbringer. I think we all know the moment I'm talking about. Michael finally presenting himself in the flesh... well, somebody else's. He went in disguise as Raphael, and kept up the disguise the entire time he was there. Once again, an entirely deliberate deception, and a pretty elaborate one at that.

At this point, it seems pretty clear that this is all on purpose. The devs aren't hiding Michael from us, Michael is hiding himself from us. He’s less elusive and more evasive.

And I think this distinction says a hell of a lot about his character. Because this isn't the behavior of someone who's proud of himself, someone who's comfortable in his own skin. This is the behavior of a deeply insecure, ashamed individual, someone who's running from himself and the image he's cultivated.

"Hmph, the truth is that you don't know how to act around them, and you know it..."

-Raphael, Lesson 20 (Hard) (NB)

This scene put a lot into context when it comes to Michael. It explains a lot in retrospect, and gives us a peek behind the curtain into why Michael is hiding. It also shows us what he’s like when he’s not hiding- while in the past he’s admitted some pretty emotionally vulnerable stuff while using anonymity or disguise as a shield (him expressing his regrets about Lucifer during the Ring of Light conversation and him telling Simeon and Luke how worried he was about them while in disguise as Raphael come to mind), now that Raphael is confronting him as himself, Michael’s first instinct is to deflect and run.

I think it’s a really interesting part of his character, though I do hope he works up the nerve to come out of the shadows someday.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if i don’t directly voice my concerns?

I (18NB) am a bit into my first year at college. i have two roommates- one of them (J, 19F) is wonderful and honestly one of my best friends here. the other (M, 18?NB) i don’t have much in common with but is overall a chill person. except for one thing.

both J and i have noticed a bunch of little things around our dorm- dishes piling up or disappearing (especially cutlery, which frustrates me bc i bought it), the water pitcher being left out or nearly empty, the microwave being stopped with 2-3 seconds still on it (petty yes but it bugs us) the toilet seat being left up (M is the only amab), notes asking for someone to take out the trash (if you have time to leave a note why not do it yourself?) and, probably worst of all, our door is often left unlocked, including at night. since neither of us were doing these things (plus times we had directly witnessed it), we concluded it had to be M.

M also does a couple things that violate the actual rules of living in our hall- they’ll bring people in on short notice or without notice (while i’m normally fine with this, having a space to myself is really important to me and i like knowing if someone will come in), and also take distracting phone calls even when we’re studying (i usually turn up my headphones to drown out the noise)

a couple weeks ago J and i brought these up in our roommate group chat disguised as a “check-in” to prevent M from feeling ganged up on. we all set boundaries and agreed to work on them.

some of these did improve! our pitcher is filled more (though i have started seeing it nearly empty again lately), less dishes get left out (i’m still missing some of my cutlery though), and we all have assigned chores for each week.

but a lot of it hasn’t. our door, for example, still gets left unlocked a ton. not only am i too paranoid for that, but also we recently got an official warning about someone who was breaking into dorms at night and watching people sleep, so locking the door is extra important right now.

i want to bring this up, because i know if i don’t do anything, i’m gonna have all this built up frustration and i’m really not interested in snapping. however, when we all first moved in together, M was really set on sticking to the rules we set up and even proposed like half of them (ironic i know). it gave me the impression that if i said anything directly, i’d either hurt their feelings or accidentally put them on the defensive. i don’t wanna go to the RA about it unless i absolutely have to, either, since that’s a one-way ticket to grudge town and the dorm really doesn’t need that tension (i will as a last resort if J and i agree it’s necessary, though.)

i’ve been thinking of finding subtle ways to encourage M to follow the rules more- maybe a sticky note on the door saying “don’t forget to lock me!” or something like that. i could explain that as a reminder for myself and avoid any animosity that way.

however, i also know i’m a bit too conflict avoidant and i really really really don’t want to be petty. that said, i want to resolve the situation with as little bitterness as possible, and if this doesn’t work, i’ll try to get myself to actually be assertive. so uhhh. WIBTA if i try to indirectly encourage my roommate to respect our boundaries?

What are these acronyms?

[carmendeiact2whenplz]

hyperfixation ask game #6 for old mond, What is that one part that makes you go absolutely fucking feral?

Since people’s interpretations of the old mond storyline are pretty different from eachother, in general that one part that usually occurs in most of them is each character’s turning point-

for nb it would be realizing how dire his situation is, and going from “i’m a part of this rebellion because I want to” to being “i’m a part of this rebellion because I *need* to. there is no other way.”

for amos, it would be when she realizes that decarabian isn’t the man she thought he was- obviously this varies depending on people’s interpretation of both deca as an individual and him in content of his relationship with her, but generally a reverse “oh” moment when she realizes that for a variety of reasons they cannot sustain a healthy relationship together

for rhw, it would be either when he joins the rebellion or actually participates in any kind of battle- I don’t have any super strong opinions on him, but I feel like those would be the things that change him the most (if post-rebellion counts, it would be holding nb as he’s dying in his arms, while watching someone else actively take his form)

wispti’s obvious answer would be watching nb die, but before then it would be the point when he goes from “i want to take care of this person (nb) because their voice is lovely and they give me apples sometime” to “i need to make sure my dearest and most beloved friend safe at all times. if anything happens to him i will kill every god in teyvat and then myself. i would do anything for him.” another option (which I am less feral about but I still find it fascinating) is seeing wispti go from only being here because he has to to being here because he cares about these mortals and their ideals and their ambitions, how even in conditions not suitable for them they are still resilient. wispti slowly becoming human over time long before he can visually resemble them whatsoever.

Deca. where do I even start. this is heavily dependent on personal interpretation. what does he feel when he hears about the rebellion? denial? anger? fear? confusion? desperation? sympathy? does he mentally prepare himself for the aftermath of it all- even if he prevents the rebellion, even if he does end up becoming the anemo archon he claims to be- deep down his subjects hate him as both a ruler and a person. this whole time, is he humble about his status as a god in the slightest? does he put on a facade of humanity, when he’s really an amalgamation of wind and storm that people just so happened to pray to for perfection? or is he somehow nothing more than a mortal with the curse blessing of longevity, taking the throne and claiming himself a god? none of these answer the question of this ask however I am sososososososososso normal about interpretations/stories of him that actually answer any/all of these questions (but sadly, not that many old mond stories out there give him much personality beyond “evil tyrant dictator”)

for gunnhildr I can guess that it’s when her parents died and she became the leader of the gunnhildr clan, unfortunately i have somehow not seen a single old mond work so far that actually elaborates on her side of the story so I don’t have much to say about her

[windywriter]

Really long rant

Tldr: I wish people would stop comparing obey me to what in hell is bad. And it's wild complain abt a gacha game only to recc ANOTHER gacha game

It's wild as hell to recc obm as a less predatory gacha over whb. Like I know whb has its problems but obm is almost no better. The only reason (in my opinion) they're starting to get their act together is bc they saw how popular whb was getting. Plus like, there are events almost every other week that you have to farm daily if you wanna get a decent place. Not even mentioning the headaches that are celestial blessing events. Gacha(2).

Also God help you if you only get one of the event cards. You gotta get multiple ur+ cards if you wanna place anywhere decently or even finish some of the sheets in time. And if you don't you better have a bunch of devil points/energy drinks and a shit ton of time to just farm.

Plus we had a whole debacle surrounding the fact that they started hiding goodies/advancements behind card skill lvls. And I'm talking outfits you can use for stages with special voice lines AND the ability to lvl up your card past lvl 70.

Also, you do remember how obm said that they WOULDNT drop the original game only for them to drop it like a hot sack of coals the second NB came out. With small announcements of them shutting down the original with no more daily chats and replacing the "next" door with a pop up saying "continue the story in Night Bringer"

AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN TRANSFER YOUR STATUS AS A VIP MEMBER OVER TO THE NEW GAME! So you had to set up a whole new subscription for NB!!! And they still kept the vip subscription open in the original.

Not to mention the quiet and sudden replacement of birthday events to birthday gachas. Which while the stories were getting sort of samey could be completed without having to roll for event cards.

People saying that obey me was gonna go under for months. And the devs don't listen to fans and were being greedy (sound familiar?) And it took months for the new updates to roll put. NB did a big questionnaire for improvements and had radio silence about it until the updates were announced.

[aita-blorbos]

(FANFIC)

AITA for using my brother's depression against him in an argument?

Okay, I know that sounds bad, but hear me out here. I'm (???M) currently traveling with three of my siblings, who, for the sake of anonymity, I'll refer to as S(???NB), P(???M), and M(???F). It should be noted that among all of us, P is the youngest and M is the eldest~

I won't tell the full story here as it's not too relevant, but to put it simply, P dealt with some serious shit in the past that resulted in him becoming sick, and M dying (she got better) due to his attempt to cross himself out. It should also be mentioned that our "parents" as he decided to call them, though I'd barely refer to them as such, also left the world in a similar way, though their method was more… effective. This was a very, VERY long time ago.

Soo, anyway, we showed up at S's place hoping to pick them up and take them with us on our trip, and that all worked out fine, but we decided to take a rest for a while to get settled. Turns out, get settled was quite the opposite of what we did! M ended up almost passing out from heatstroke, (something I didn't even know we could GET!) says she's felt similar before around water, (her near-death experience was rain-related,) and S tells her that sounds like PTSD. PTSD!!!

I mean, we were all shocked. M tried to ask P some questions about everything but he clammed up and refused to talk about it, though M seems pretty sure he's gotten some sort of trauma as well… Which I guess wouldn't be surprising considering what his end of the bargain was. And, I dunno… I thought I was starting to get over what happened, but with that all out in the open it kinda felt like we were right back to square one, haha~

Aaanyway, just now M confessed to listening to one of our creator's voice memos from long before they died, she found it in S's place, and ended up getting so mad listening to it that she accidentally crushed it in her hand. P is a HUGE nerd, so of course he started complaining about how that's a "important part of history" she destroyed, but personally I don't think they would have said anything worthwhile.

When I said that though, P got MAD. Like, REALLY mad. He accused me of not having the mind to appreciate anything they were saying! Which, of COURSE I don't, unlike HIM I was never a suicidal asshole with a god complex like them! I told him that, then he had the audacity to call us ALL their children, so I kindly reminded him of how they abandoned us and left us to rot. But surely that's fine, right? He's so much like them he could probably understand perfectly!

That shut him up, but then M yelled at me. P gave her PTSD and she's taking HIS side. She's way too forgiving, no way is she gonna have a fair opinion! But when I said that, she accused me of not having the empathy to have one either, as if empathy has anything to do with him being the cause of her DEATH. She— she called me the idiot! I'm not the one trying to fix my shitty little brother that murdered me! But apparently he's made "progress" that I've seen myself, and she's not gonna let being mad get in the way of healing or whatever. She said things are "different" now, said she wasn't gonna stand for the insinuation that she was stupid for wanting to fix things and just stormed off with P.

S was there for the whole thing, and they won't talk to me now. M and P have been gone for a while too, and I'm too mad to chase after them. Personally, I don't think he's made much of an effort at all. Sure he apologized and is less of an ass now than he used to be, but that's never gonna make up for what happened between them�� between us! Is there just something about this I'm not seeing here?

[eastgaysian]

where do you get the sense that shiv feels tom getting her pregnant was a physical betrayal...?

my beautiful mind :)

eh it's definitely not the most clear or elegant phrasing on my part, written on my phone at 1am etc, also realize it's kind of dependent on an understanding of the tomshiv gender-body-fucked/fucking matrix that only exists within my mind palace. and people are ofc free to disagree with my reading of anything, i have, like, extremely specific takes that have built up over time.

shiv's feelings about her own pregnancy/specifically that tom got her pregnant are obviously extremely complicated - 'physical betrayal' is not the clearest expression of what i'm trying to say there but, yeah, imo, a sense of betrayal is part of it.

(NB: i am 100% aware that scenes set after it's revealed shiv is pregnant were not all shot afterwards/with knowledge that shiv was pregnant. i will still be talking about them in the context of the show as reflective of shiv's feelings about her pregnancy/her body etc because i think not talking about the show the way it aired and we watched it is nonsensical.)

like, i don't think it's totally accurate to say either that shiv wants to or doesn't want to have a kid - in one sense it happened to her and she went along with it, and in another she did have to work towards and choose it to some degree. it's something that she wanted to be able to choose but couldn't bring herself to decide. she distances herself from the prospect with the suggestion of freezing 'baby popsicles' but never fully rejects it. i believe lucy prebble on the official podcast post-honeymoon states said that she felt there was a part of shiv that wanted there to be some kind of issue with the fetus so she could justify terminating it - hearing that everything is fine is partially a relief, and partially terrifying because it means whatever shiv decides about her own pregnancy is completely her decision and her responsibility.

the concept of having/raising kids isn't innately repulsive to shiv, imo. there are some aspects that appeal to her, which have less to do with the actual child than what that child could represent - logan's approval and affection, as she imagines in honeymoon states; getting one over on kendall/her brothers as a whole by successfully having her own biological child; spiting caroline by proving actually i can be a mother, and a better one than you. deciding to never have kids means giving up on all of that and tacitly admitting to a deficiency. at the same time, shiv knows that child's going to be fucked and is daring someone to call her on it by continuing to drink and making jokes about fobbing the baby off on a nanny. it's a bad decision, but nobody's stopping her, so it's her bad decision to try and prove something.

the physical aspect of being pregnant, though, is definitely disturbing to her. her whole life shiv has been limited by and demeaned for being a woman, getting reduced to her body and its perceived sole function of carrying children. (kendall voice) it's only your teats that give you any value! the corporate world has no respect for a pregnant woman or a mother and shiv cannot stand feeling disrespected. related to this, shiv highly prizes her bodily autonomy. to her being impregnated by someone else is always going to feel like a violation, being treated as an incubator for someone else's purposes. (citing dalia oreganosbaby's post that explains this better than i do.) her keeping the pregnancy a secret/continuing to drink is in some ways an attempt to retain her sense of agency and bodily autonomy by refusing to let it affect her lifestyle or emotions.

in this sense being impregnated by tom particularly registers as a 'betrayal' in that, like, because tom was unique as the man she felt safe around emotionally and physically - because shiv felt she was the one with the power/the one doing the fucking - he became the man who was able to truly fuck her emotionally and physically (betray her to logan/impregnate her). she thought she had control over him (he was more openly emotionally invested than her, she fucked other people and he didn't) and he turned it around to subordinate her positionally and physically. the broadness/masculinity that made her think he was reliable humiliated her instead.

[northwest-cryptid]

You know I wish less shit was so in your face about its core message. Even when I agree with the messages. Like it really feels as though the majority of games or shows have to leave you with some kind of moral message rather than just being a story these days.

I really miss when games were just a story you got to experience or a sequence of puzzles to solve or a bunch of fun mechanics to interact with.

That's not to say you can't have some kind of central moral message at the heart of it all. Most did and the key factor there was that it wasn't super in your face.

I recently watched a playthrough of Silent Hill, a short message or whatever it's called. The writing was awful, the gameplay was non-existent, the message was REALLY in your face; it felt nothing like silent hill. It was just bad. It was really disappointing and I didn't realize why I felt so strongly until I really thought about the last time I got to play a story driven game that wasn't some moral preaching of how I should be a good person and not kill myself or something.

And again, I agree! I can't overstate how much I agree with the idea that murder is generally bad and suicide isn't good. Yet I don't need a game to aggressively tell me this every two seconds while trying to make it seem like they pulled a fast one on me with a DRAMATIC TWIST I could see coming a mile away because they fucking announced it.

When it comes to games trying to deliver a message I really think there's a scale of like, absolutely not saying anything to saying way too much.

Silent Hill 2 is a great example of not saying anything but it's good because the people who care will dive deep enough to get the message out of it. Believe it or not there's people out there who played sh2 and think James is a good person which like... Did we play the same game?!

A little further down the scale we have xenoblade 1 which I feel absolutely states the message but does so well within it's lore to the point it feels natural and doesn't detract from the experience.

Even further still I feel Undertale fits the middle of the road. You get it's message clear as day, almost annoyingly so; however I can't complain too much because the game is an enjoyable experience regardless and the core message fits well. It makes sense. The characters are enjoyable. There's still a lot to love there even if it punches me in the face every 5 seconds with "MURDER IS BAD" it feels earned and justified.

The problem I have is that beyond this, there's almost no middle ground between "it's heavy handed but good!" And "please fucking shut up I get it I get it I get it!"

A Short Message is bad any way you slice it. We're talking bad animation, weird immersion breaking third person and then first person and then third person and then live action but only for this scene and then game engine again type shit. We're talking bad voice acting, bad gameplay where you really don't get any agency or choice. It's a whole mess of problems and the entire time they're really hamming up the core message they want to deliver, which doesn't even go anywhere. The characters don't grow, the plot "twists" are obvious and bad, and the characters kinda just don't make sense at all. This isn't exactly meant to be a review so much as it is to say

This is the unfortunate norm for a lot of games now.

I don't want to sound like some "right winger" so no I'm not going to say that a game trying to align with younger leftist values is inherently bad. I'm all for games with gay characters or characters who are trans or whatever. I'm literally a disabled NB/Genderfluid/queer pansexual Native American and man does that feel like buzzwords at this point so obviously I don't mind that stuff showing up in games...

What I do mind is when games think they can skirt by because of all that. Gameplay? We don't need it our main character is gay, we gave him a boyfriend who's trans! Story? What do you mean what's the story? I just told you gay trans boyfriend!? What more do you want?!

Or just you know "hey you know what, what if you were the bad guy the whole time because killing is WRONG!"

Sure alright you wanna see that done really well? Unfortunately if I tell you the name of some games now it'll spoil them completely but I can think of 3 games so here's a list without names.

1. You literally spend the whole game fighting enemies who speak a language you don't understand and you view them as monsters to be killed because you don't know they're pleading with you to not kill their friends and loved ones. However on a second playthrough you CAN understand them and guess what? This doesn't change anything, have fun needing to kill innocent beings to progress the story all while finally understanding what they're desperately trying to tell you.

2. You're taking over for the last guy who had this job and my god he was a dick. As you go through the game you're going to learn a lot about him and why everyone has beef with the guy and doesn't really trust you as a result. Only they seem to take it really personally when you speak confidently that you'll do better than he did... That's because you literally are him and you're not aware because it's a time loop. This dude you spent like half the game seeing as a horrible person is literally you and suddenly everything makes sense when it comes to how these people treat you. Unfortunately you still have a job to do and it's a lot easier if you start thinking like he did.

3. You're an innocent victim of war and spend half the game attempting to make right the suffering inflicted upon you and your friends, only when you're finally face to face with the man responsible for the war itself you're let in on a secret that no one knew but him. Finally understanding the nature of not just the war but the world itself you can almost understand why he's doing what he is, and unfortunately for everyone your words aren't enough to talk him down with going through with his plans to literally end the lives of everyone from your entire continent. Now you're faced with the gut wrenching decision to kill him to protect the very people you've learned are actually even more at fault, as you figure out he's merely doing this since your people attacked his long before and he's trying to protect them from another genocide by making sure your people don't have the chance. You're both in the wrong, and it's just your luck that when you refuse to kill him a third party steps up to finish the job and take his place as the big bad of the story; but hey at least you're not the bad guy anymore.

There's more but these three games, which I unfortunately will not name because doing so now will spoil them; handled the concept really REALLY well. Proper twists in the story, waiting to say their piece till just the right moment; actually giving you information that makes sense for you to know instead of trying to infodump about how clearly you're in the wrong.

I miss stories that are worth telling instead of games just shouting at you about morals. It's like if metal gear revengance took itself seriously but somehow amped up the cheese factor at the same time.

Side note I know people who play mgr and think it's absolutely the deepest thing ever and took it like a stoic masterpiece and I genuinely have no idea how. Like so much of that game is silly random over the top bullshit you can't get mad at people for laughing at it. These people get mad if you jokingly say "MEMES JACK, THE DNA OF THE SOUL" like you're shitting on some sacred tomes or something.

Anyways I'm not saying every game sucks now or something, I play plenty of good shit. But few have good STORIES I really want something genuine, a story to be told that I get to experience and that I can go back through over again and enjoy maybe a little differently. This was never too much to ask even a couple years ago but I feel like if the game isn't trying to nudge me aggressively with "we're just like you cool trans gay teens!" It's aggressively in my face about "noooo don't be mean being mean is bad! We're gonna stop this problem by being nice uwu" and not even in the fun self aware Undertale way, just like in the really annoying in your face "I'm taking the moral high ground so I'm better than you" kinda way.

Anyways before anyone yells at me about how I totally said your favorite game is awful, feel free to ask my opinion of a game in an ask or something and then if I say it's bad you can absolutely get on me about it. Unless your favorite game is that new silent Hill a short message game thing in which case I'm sorry that you have awful taste in games because there are better games that deliver on the same message with better gameplay AND story AND graphics AND voice acting so like I don't get it.

[thethirdromana]

Do you have any thoughts on Dorian's protestation that he's not responsible for the vices of his peers, vis à vis the ongoing question of how responsible Lord Henry is for Dorian's *all that* ?

I started writing a nice short answer to this, then it turns out that in fact I have many thoughts, all a bit disconnected from each other. Sorry about that.

So TPODG is all about layers upon layers of influence. Dorian's influence on his peers is one of those layers; so is Lord Henry's influence on Dorian; so is the influence of the "poisonous" yellow book on Dorian; and above all of that, there's Wilde's influence on his readers and artists' influence on their audience in general, which the preface primes us to start thinking about.

Dorian's influence on his peers One thing I've just spotted is that Dorian disclaims his responsibility when it comes to corrupting men ("what is that to me?") but hedges when it comes to corrupting women ("You go too far"). Maybe that's because he is more responsible - I think the implication of chapter 12 is that Dorian had consensual affairs with Lady Gwendolen and Lord Gloucester's wife, but it's ambiguous.

There's a whole bundle of things that are probably too much to get into here: the fuzzy line for Victorians between being the victim of sexual assault vs being a willing and eager participant in an affair; Victorian feelings on female agency in general; and whether you could show a respectable noblewoman willingly committing adultery in a Victorian novel without being condemned for obscenity (see reactions to Jude the Obscure, for instance). I'm not sure which of these things were the greatest influence behind the choice of vices that Wilde implies.

Lord Henry's influence on Dorian Basil is the moral voice of the novel, and Basil thinks Dorian's influence is his own fault. But equally, Basil has heard all the same things from Lord Henry as Dorian has, and even quotes Henry in Chapter 12 ("I remember Harry saying once that every man who turned himself into an amateur curate for the moment always began by saying that, and then proceeded to break his word") but Basil remains a good man. So the very existence of Basil is an argument against the idea that Dorian is responsible for his friends' vices, or that Lord Henry is responsible for Dorian's.

The yellow book's influence on Dorian The book has a poisonous influence on Dorian... but Dorian "never sought to free himself from it". He is corrupted, but only because he lets himself be corrupted. He has agency that he declines to use. He could read something different! The novel concedes the point that what you read influences your choices, but not that this exonerates Dorian. (And interestingly, it's always the fault of the book, as if it were an independent actor, not the fault of the writer).

Wilde's influence on his readers The collected reviews and letters about TPODG, including Wilde's defence, are a fun read (nb spoilers for the ending):

(Wilde's replies are, above all, spectacularly snobbish. I'm less surprised that they hated him after reading them.)

It includes the critics who managed to miss the point spectacularly:

The "moral," so far as we can collect it, is that man's chief end is to develop his nature to the fullest by "always searching for new sensations," that when the soul gets sick the way to cure it is to deny the senses nothing, for "nothing," says one of Mr. Wilde's characters, Lord Henry Wotton, "can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul."

I mean. Guys. How much do you have to not get it to think that Lord Henry is a character we're supposed to agree with??

There's a three-way argument about the influence of the novel, where the options are:

It has no influence beyond what you bring to the table; it's art for art's own sake; there is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Wilde makes that argument in his letters, though I always feel like there's an undercurrent of irony there.

It has a negative moral influence; it's corrupting and should have been censored. This is the view of the Scots Observer, among others: "Mr. Oscar Wilde has again been writing stuff that were better unwritten."

It has a positive moral influence; its moral is good. The Speaker thought so: "[Wilde] might fairly have insisted on the particular proposition—that the teaching of the book is conspicuously right in morality. If we have correctly interpreted the book's motive—and we are at a loss to conceive what other can be devised—this position is unassailable."

I think TPODG exists more to have this argument than to win it. No matter what your view, the different layers of influence in the novel give you something to argue with. I enjoy that a lot, and I suspect Wilde did too.

[scarlet--wiccan]

No yeah there's. Definitely a problem with cishet people in the Young Avengers fandom complaining that they're making Billy too feminine and they find it uncomfortable. I've seen people complaining about the eyeliner/nail polish/jewelry (which I've never minded. Wanda likes all that stuff too and no one ever mentions that, likely for the same reasons there's so much hesitancy to label Billy a witch even though it is historically a gender neutral term) and I've also seen assertions that M C U Billy, and Billy specifically, cannot and should not be played by a trans/nb actor.

Well, I can tell you it's not just cishet people. There are a lot of gay men in the comics community who are too caught up in their own preferences to understand that the modes of gay masculinity they like to see are not the only valid modes of gay identity or expression. And there are many LGBT people in fandom, generally, who feel entitled to dictate and consume gay male sexuality even if they don't belong to that experience. I'm just saying.

When I made this post, I was specifically addressing the gender hangups, and resulting tension, that are evidenced in the text. The popularity of trans, specifically transmasc, headcanons is kind of a separate issue, because that's happening only in the fandom. That said, the pushback, within the fandom, is definitely coming from the same place as fandom pushback against Billy's fem or gnc qualities. Ultimately, the issue is that people have one specific image of gay men that they want to consume, and they aren't afraid to voice their disgust towards anything more diverse or inclusive. I think that's probably what's behind a lot of the rejection I see towards Billy as a Romani person of color, too.

The stuff that's happening in the actual text is a lot less selfish, and a lot less vitriolic. I think it just comes from writers and artists, especially folks who aren't even gay, not being totally comfortable leaning into certain gay aesthetics or sensibilites, or maybe not understanding how valuable certain gay experiences actually are and how badly they need to be represented.

I've said it before, but this has always been a part of the character. It's subtle, but it is there in the way he and Teddy talk to each other in YA and CC, and it is there in the way Billy describes his early childhood experiences with homophobia. I really, especially, think it's there in the way he's drawn to Wanda and insists on identifying himself as a witch, before and after he discovers the truth about their relationship. We all talk about how "witch" is a gender neutral word, and that's important, but it's also important to remember that within certain cultural contexts, witchcraft and magic are a critical part of women's history. The Romani lineage he's connecting to through Wanda, through being a witch, is a part of that. So for Billy, a gay male character who embodies several ethnic and cultural intersections, embracing gender nonconformity could really enrich that representation. It would certainly be one way to start approaching authentic conversations about how his Jewish and Romani heritage informs his relationship to witchcraft, which has never happened.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall

5/5. Releases 4/11/2023.

For when you're vibing with... Queer romance, gender nonconformity, general hilarity and hope, found family vibes, and people who rarely get shine from historical romances taking center stage.

Peggy is in a tight spot: Arabella, her childhood friend and the woman she's in love with, has asked for her help to woo Orfeo, the famous castrato soprano visiting London. Unable to deny Arabella anything, Peggy complies--only to find that rather than resenting Orfeo, she's captivated with them. Just like Peggy, Orfeo is doesn't conform to gender norms, living on the edges of society. And in them, Peggy could find more than just attraction--but a soul-deep connection.

Man, this one was fucking something. Really daring, hilarious, sexy, and emotionally touching. Alexis Hall keeps making me happy as a reader, and I wholeheartedly adore this book.

Quick Takes:

--I've always been fascinated by the history of castrati, in part because there is a lot of ambiguity in the subject. Most (?) castrati were forcibly castrated or coerced into castration as children. While stories of accidents and illnesses were often given to justify the castration, usually the choice was not theirs--but undeniably, there were doors open to castrati, some of which, like Farinelli (who's referenced in this book) became famous, wealthy, and adored for their incredible voices. They also lost the ability to sire children, became seen as freakish or odd to some, and lived in this sort of... gray area of a very binary (on the surface) society. Alexis Hall doesn't shy away from all that Orfeo has suffered, and there's a lot of trauma going on, clearly. But he also doesn't make Orfeo this sob story of a character, this self-loathing nonbinary person. Orfeo is gorgeous, physically and emotionally, and they love their art. They clearly didn't have a choice about it--but that doesn't make the love any less valid, and Peggy does not pity them, does not turn them into some "half-man". She adores them, as she should. And they adore her.

--Peggy's gender identity is (though she uses she/her pronouns) fluid. The connection that she and Orfeo make, neither one of them a man or a woman, is really profound and something you don't often see in fiction. It's that camaraderie they have, not only with each other but their entire circle of friends (not a straight person in sight) that makes the novel so magical... Aside from the absolute gut punch of a romance that lingers between Orfeo and Peggy. Their connection is instantaneous (Peggy literally faints when she hears Orfeo sing for the first time, and Peggy is not a swooner) but it's not insta-love. Their bond grows over time, and even after it becomes physical, there's some real emotional work that has yet to be done.

--One thing I was concerned about going into this book was whether Orfeo's status as nonbinary (I've seen them specifically referred to as agender in other reviews, but I'm not 100% sure about where Alexis stands on this) would feel.... clumsily-done. In other words--is Orfeo only NB because they were castrated against their will? My interpretation, ultimately, was no; but the conflict this causes Orfeo is not avoided. They ask these questions themself. Were they always meant to be this way, or are they this way because of what happened to them? Does it matter? I personally saw Orfeo's identity as something that was a very literally a combination of who they are within (their soul) and how society has shaped them. And I think Alexis Hall confronted that conflict and reality very sensitively. But I say all of this as a cis woman, and I would be interested to see how people who aren't cis feel about it.

--I have an issue with how the romance community sometimes deals with past relationships and the conflicts they can naturally cause. You often see reviews that give actual trigger warnings for "OW/OM drama" and that just... It's fine to not like that, but acting like it's a trigger is a bit much--and I think that if we shun past loves and the conflicted feelings they can give characters, even when the relationships were toxic, we lose a lot of nuance.

Something Spectacular is a great example of why that kind of past can be important in romance. We see past relationships as issues for both Peggy and Orfeo, and they deal with them in very different ways. One of the most heart-clutching, gut-wrenching moments of the novel involves this kind of "drama". I think there's a lot of emotional honesty in this book, testifying to the chokehold that exes--or not-so-exes--can have on us, whether the relationship is healthy or not. And this drama does lead to one of my favorite romance novel reunions ever. There's RAIN DRAMA.

--The world of the book is delightful, consciously anachronistic and fun and full of cool people lazing about, seducing each other, attending operas like they're rock concerts, and having rather hysterical poetry slams that turn into.... other things. Alexis Hall writes with zero sense of pretentiousness or self-consciousness, and I think that's what we need more of in historical romance. I imagine it would be hard to come away from this book without wanting to read more of Alexis's novels, and certainly Something Fabulous.

--Not to spoil anything, but... This book confronts the concept of queer families, especially in the context of its world, in a way that I didn't expect and don't see a lot of in romance. I fucking loved it. That's all.

The Sex Stuff:

This is a sexy book. (She ain't called Peggy for nothing--name is destiny.) As soon as Orfeo and Peggy begin interacting, the sparks are real, and their sex life is quite literally bangin'. Alexis Hall does a really good job of writing sex scenes in a way that is explicit and romantic without getting bioessentialist or describing bodies in a way that is super gendered. Peggy is sensitive about her body and goes back and forth about how she feels about her breasts, and that's brought up. There's a wonderful scene of dialogue around how Orfeo, with their somewhat unique body makeup and history, experiences pleasure and how they've often been expected to "serve" rather than taking fulfillment themselves. (Peggy's reaction to this is gorgeous.) It's also just really hot. And the final sex scene in this book? Is crazy good. Hot hot hot. Something I have quite literally never read in a romance before, not in this exact form.

Here's the thing--you can write romance novels about marginalized communities and people who've experienced trauma without depriving their love stories of joy and humor and sex and swoony romance. Alexis Hall underlined that with A Lady for a Duke last year, and he did it again with Something Spectacular. Read it.

Thanks to Montlake and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book. My opinions are all my own.

[sentientgopro]

Alright, later today will be the one week mark since cracking, and its wild how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. Sure, I still can't actually transition for quite a long time, but just the realisations and understanding this has brought me has been life changing. To focus less on the trans part for a second, Its fucking shocking how much having something to look forward to has affected me. I never noticed how bad shit was before until its gotten better. To see the extent to which a lack of positive reasons to Carry On actually affected me on a day to day basis. But I don't wanna dwell on that, Im getting shit done and am catching up with where I should be academically. Reaching Uni keeps looking easier and easier. And yes, I still have times where I feel how I felt before. i make a small mistake, get berated for it, and wonder why I fuckin bother Carrying On. But even at that time, I know its temporary, I know itll pass, and it does. That wasn't happening before, it just stuck.

As I uncover more about myself, Im noticing more and more dysphoria, beit feelings I didnt notice before or things I did notice and found other explanations for. I know this is gonna get worse, but fuck it, I can actually recover from things now. Ill manage. Things aren't actually changing right now, I cant safely transition yet, but as I said, things also have changed.

So far this has primarily been a wider reflection on the past week but I do have something new to add. Ive noticed that, at times, I have felt like being masc is right, that having a deeper voice is right, etc. And I wondered, is it some kinda fluidity? NB? Its only certain situations, most of the time I do feel fem, so what's up with that?

And then I think about a show I'm watching right now, Gen V, and it all makes sense.

Jordan Li's powers aren't exactly clearly defined, but basically, they switch between a man and woman at will (Its not full shapeshifting, the power is binary), as well as having other general superpowers depending on which they are, making for some cool fight scenes. But outside of the fight scenes, the way the show explores which they choose is interesting (and the show DOES explicitly state what Im about to say.)

Its made clear that Jordan is more comfortable as a girl, which their parents hate. Theres a decent chunk of one episode clearly about "HES our little boy, what happened to HIM" while Jordan, originally a guy in this scene, switches infront of their parents to be more comfortable.

So why, outside of combat, do they choose to be masc?

They do it when they try to make a point. Appear authoratative and/or respectable. When interacting with people who they don't think would like them as a girl (e.g their girlfriend, Marie the protagonist, who isn't explicity bi, atleast not yet, and Jordan says they would rather be comfortable as a girl with Marie but they don't know if shes okay with it.)

And I can't help but think that makes TOTAL sense. I feel more masc at work when I want to appear strong, capable, and, dare I say it, "cool". When I'm talking to people I wish respected me more. When I'm with friends, people I know are allies and some queer, I feel more fem. I don't think I'm fluid, I think this I feel the same kinda way as Jordan.

The key takeaway from this for me is that genuinely, representation, especially in the most random places, is so good. Its interesting watching it with my parents because its a world where superpowers are very real, and this person CAN switch at will on every level. And they have to drop the "not a real man/woman" argument and struggle to find a different reason to hate what they see. The representation characters like Jordan provide says "Okay, if we play by your rules and portray what a """real man/ woman""" looks like, this is the REAL situations queer people face and the way they are treated. And you still agree with the people treating them that way. Your problem is NOT how much they are actually like their chosen gender." And its good being in something unexpected. My parents would not watch your standard kinda "queer media", yknow, stuff like heartstopper or whatever (idk, I dont either so idk what Im talking abt.) But putting good, well written rep in a spin off of a show where a dude in a trench coat shoves a bomb up an invisible dudes ass and he says cunt alot exposes them to things they would not otherwise be exposed to.

And thats only talking about the minimal effect this rep has on people who disagree with it. Much more important is the exposure for queer people who don't know it yet, or don't know how they feel, and it provides understanding, something to look at and say "thats me". Honestly, Im gettin a little tired of writing this rn, anything I could say about that aspect of representation has been said a million times already, So Ill leave it there.

So, to conclude, with the absolute hardest line ever said in a show, from Jordan Li:

"Tag team cocksplosion."

Okay maybe not the best choice.