#national school counselor week

[reelbigsquidge]

on the first full week of february, it was national school counselor week ! and yk i had to do something for it…so here’s kenny and kyle sending mr mackey a nice little letter !!

speedpaint up on youtube :)

[squinch-depraved]

priest schlatt I beg

we're not gonna talk about how long this took me to get to

happy national clergy appreciation day (in the u.s.) !! sorry if this sucks i was raised southern baptist and even then i sucked at christianity there's a reason i practice witchcraft now lol

hanging your head low as you ducked into the confessional wouldn't save you. sure, there was no one around to see you, but knowing that god had witnessed what you had done was reason enough to try and hide from the world as much as you could. but still you tucked yourself away into the corner of the booth, clutching your purse in your trembling hands.

religion was a something of a sore spot for you; growing up in a hyper-christian family was one way to ensure you didn't feel comfortable in a house of worship. you had always viewed god as an inevitable outcome, a fact that awaited you whenever you happened to reach the end of your journey here on earth. once you graduated high school and locked yourself into a four year program at a catholic college one state over, you came to realize that the reason you couldn't stand your religion wasn't because of overbearing relatives. no, it was the very idea of god himself. you found him sadistic, an egotistical prick who had nothing better to do than let horrible things happen to his creations. maybe it was true that most of the teachings you had heard were lost on you, that you didn't even make an effort to understand the lessons passed down for thousands of years. but so what? nobody had ever made an effort to understand you or what you were going through, why should you waste your energy extending that courtesy to a church that obviously didn't care about you?

but you know who did make you feel understood? the guys you had dated in the three years since you arrived at this prison. at least, for a few weeks, in the beginning. the first one was fine. he was the one who convinced you virginity was an outdated concept- which you still agreed with to this day, you decided. he was surprisingly "woke" about the whole religion thing, which was what drew you to him in the first place.

"my parents made me study here too," he sympathized. "i totally wish i could've gone on a mission trip instead of getting a degree. like, college will be here in a few years! those impoverished people might not, y'know? i just feel like god is totally calling me to go serve. like, 'troy, man, go feed those guys! tell them how cool i am!'" he stopped tossing a miniature foam basketball against your bedroom wall for a moment to look at you.

you smiled weakly at his sentiments and glanced up from your laptop to nod. "totally, troy."

turns out, (unsurprisingly) troy was a fucking douche. he stayed around just long enough to get into your pants a couple times, but then you caught him with the girl who lived in the dorm across from you, so he had to go. nobody ever found out who stole his clothes from the men's showers, but the videos of him streaking down the hallways while he ran to his room were sent around campus for months after that.

guys two and three were more painful than troy; you had actually grown attached to them. guy two lasted almost a year, and three was only a few months, but he felt special. and the half dozen guys you slept with while trying to get over them just added to the tally of sins you were keeping subconsciously.

so when your grades started to slip from depression in the winter of your junior year, and your counselor called you to her office for an appointment, it was no surprise that her words got under your skin as easily as they did. how could they not? getting students to go to church was part of her job. she was concerned that your grades were slipping because she hadn't seen you at mass in a long time, and the absence of the lord will do that to a young girl, you know.

so later that night, after drinking by yourself at a bar a few miles from the school, you stumbled into the church on campus and slunk into the confessional. realizing that the wooden box was incredibly uncomfortable, you winced and pulled off your heels, rubbing your feet gently as you waited to be listened to.

you shrieked quietly when a small lattice window on the wall next to you slid open. "oh, fuck... sorry! um, it's my turn, right?... yeah, i think so. okay, so, um. bless me father for i have... sinned? it's been, like," you paused as you counted back the time on your fingers. "almost two years since my last confession. oh, jeez, that makes me sound awful." you were hiccupping as you rambled, and you could have sworn you heard the faintest exhale of amusement if you weren't plastered.

"whatever, it's too late to stop now," you sighed, crossing your legs. "i let some guys sleep with me and now i'm all unpure and like. i'm supposed to show up here a couple times every week now but i don't wanna, i don't care enough about this whole god thing to waste the rest of my college life becoming a nun. i'm already worried i wasted three years coming here instead of a school where i could have felt like myself," you trailed off.

it was quiet for a moment before a gruff voice with a new york accent asked, "how many guys?"

you snorted. "9, i think," you said with a smirk, rolling your eyes.

the man on the other side of the panel felt his face heat up as he mumbled, "jesus." you couldn't hold in your laugh at how absurd this was. this was what you deserved for coming to confess at 2 in the morning.

"i know it's been a while since i've been here and all, but i'm pretty sure that's not what you're supposed to say," you giggled.

a chuckle was heard before he answered, "sorry. you're right, it's not. tell me more, what led you to sleeping with them?" at least now he was trying.

the two of you talked for about an hour, until it no longer felt like a confession and you were sure you had fallen for this priest you couldn't even see. eventually, he tried to dismiss you without giving you your penance, but something in your gut drove you to bring it up yourself.

he stepped out of the booth first, and you hesitated for a second before following him, freezing when you saw what he looked like. tall, scary, with gorgeous brown eyes framed by aviator glasses and fluffy chops adorning his cheeks. by some miracle, he also felt immobilized by his view of you hopping out of the wooden compartment- dress disheveled, fishnets ripped, heels in one hand and your purse slung over one shoulder. you were his worst nightmare, a temptation he simply could not resist. god had just placed a vulnerable young lamb like you in his midst; who was he to deny himself of the simple pleasures his lord had provided for him?

"father? father, my penance," you waved your hand in front of his face (after a bit of trying to get his attention), which had just gone dark. his eyes now looked hungry and cold.

"hmm?" he blinked and tilted his head towards you slightly. "oh. uhm," he let out a deep exhale, as if contemplating something. "y-y'know what? just come with me," he spoke gently, taking your hand and leading you to a back room with some spare furniture scattered about.

a part of you knew what was coming, and a different part of you never could have guessed the situation you were about to find yourself in. once you were alone in the room together, he pulled you close and pressed you against a wall, letting his hot breath waft over your neck as he bent down to whisper in your ear.

"god's telling me we should make it 10 men you've been with," he murmured, voice velvet smooth as it coated your eardrums. "so you can say at least one of them was a real man of the lord, hmm, doll?"

your breath, caught in your throat, sped up as he slowly, gently, tenderly took your wrists in one of his hands, bringing them to rest above your head. "father..."

"schlatt. my name's schlatt. but that's just a courtesy, hm? stick to callin' me father." you felt him smirk against your skin as he sunk his teeth into the flesh of your neck, drawing out a frantic moan from you.

"careful with your noises, angel, there's two other guys here tonight, and if we get caught, i'm gonna have to share you," schlatt warned. he used his other free hand to pull down the top of your dress, smiling greedily at the sight of your exposed breasts. "no bra?"

"i-it didn't go with the outfit," you tried to defend yourself, but he just shushed you and fondled your chest lovingly, like he really was just appreciating one of god's creations. pathetic noises spilled from your lips as you watched him admire you, a hypnotized look on your face.

"you're so beautiful, doll. wha's your name?" he asked, glancing up at your face to meet your gaze.

you stammered out your response and he repeated it, running over the name in his mind.

"pretty," he said simply. "i'm gonna make you feel good now, okay?" it was more of a statement than a question, and you nodded with a gulp as he knelt down and slid his head under your dress. you felt your pupils dilate as you leaned your head back against the wall and let your eyes fall closed. schlatt ripped a bigger hole into your fishnets and pulled your skimpy panties to the side, licking a long stripe up your folds and tracing circles with his tongue on your clit. it was hard to keep your whorish noises contained, but clamping your hand over your mouth did a good enough job.

he ate you until you were frantically scratching at his head through the fabric of your dress as you came all over his face, sobbing from how good you felt. you didn't even know it was possible to feel this euphoric, but here this priest was to show you how. once he was satisfied, he pulled away from your cunt and rose to tower over you again. he reached into his robes and opened them enough so that his crotch was visible. you watched as he pulled out his length, stunned at the size of it, and let him pick you up and position you around his waist.

"father, i'm scared, i don't know if it's gonna fit," you admitted guiltily. schlatt locked eyes with you while he replied.

"it's okay to be scared. but you have to do it anyways." with that, he slid into you, stretching you out more than you ever had been before. you bit onto him in an effort to keep quiet; his robes did a good job of muffling the sound. after a generous amount of time to let you get used to him, he started moving.

he was gentle at first, but gradually got rougher and rougher. there wasn't a moment where he wasn't focused on making you feel good. his eyes pierced through you as he rammed into you at a relentless pace, and the attention he was giving you didn't make you feel objectified like it did when the other guys fucked you. it made you feel divine, ethereal almost.

grunts and pants, along with the occasional squeal, were all that could be heard as he rolled his hips into you time and time again. he coaxed another orgasm out of you just with his cock, and once he felt like he had pleasured you enough, he sped up, now thrusting at a frenzied pace.

"when i tell you, you're gonna get on your knees and take me in your mouth, okay angel?" he instructed, out of breath. you nodded, eager to please.

"yes, father," you gasped as he reached deeper and deeper inside you with every thrust. schlatt's eyes rolled back slightly at the title and he went impossibly faster for a few seconds before speaking.

"n-now! now!" he ordered desperately. he set you down hurriedly and you slammed down onto your knees to take him in your mouth, letting him burrow deep into your throat before he finished with a loud groan and grabbed your hair roughly.

he remained in your throat for a moment while he caught his breath, sliding out once his chest had stopped heaving.

"there's your penance, doll. i better see you here for a 2 a.m. confession next monday as well, yeah? i think that's what the lord's callin' me to do," schlatt said as he buttoned his robes. you straightened your clothes as much as you could and looked up at him sheepishly.

"looking forward to it. but, uh, is there a back door i could leave through? because i do not want to walk through the church like this." you gestured to your outfit, tattered and wrinkled, and winced.

he chuckled and nodded. "yeah, i'll show you to it. maybe it could be our secret entrance," he joked.

"oh, of course. i'll knock three times whenever i need to be let in," you retort with a grin.

maybe coming to church wouldn't be so bad, after all.

[star-anise]

It's been a hot minute since I looked at Canada's National Occupation Classification system. I learned about it when studying career counselling in grad school, and it's pretty useful in terms of job-hunting and getting information on what different types of jobs require and pay.

A friend asked me for advice about becoming a therapist so I went and looked. They redid it since I last visited, and oh man there are some chef's kiss decisions.

There are 9 top-level categories, with 1 being legislative and senior management, 5 being arts, culture, and sport, and 9 being manufacture and utilities. So I was looking for my old job's classification, which used to be 4153 - Family, marriage and other related counsellors. Knowing that made searching the government job bank really easy back in the day, because instead of searching "counsellor" "counselor" "psychotherapist" "mental health therapist" "clinical counsellor" etc etc etc to find them all, I just typed "4153" and hit enter.

Anyway, they redid the system and now that job is parked at 41301 - Therapists in counselling and related specialized therapies. Here's the tree to get there:

Cool cool cool. It's tidier, even if the occupations are still a bit messy. (When I dropped out of the field, the different counselling subdivisions were tapping their toes impatiently waiting for the provincial government to let them form their own professional regulatory college. Which still has not happened. Last week my shrink said he'd got an email from the College of Psychologists announcing that it would be gathering all the smaller counselling fields into its own downy breast instead. I have no idea what's happening anymore.)

Anyway. I scrolled down to another job I once worked and HAHA WHAT

Yes. There are only three sub-units of category 44:

Nannies:

In-home caregivers:

And,

Combat specialists

I find this grouping of professions hilarious, appropriate, and deeply validating. No notes. 🧑‍🍳👌💋

[bnyrbt]

The leader of the Choctaw Nation is joining an outpouring of support for the family of a 16-year-old student whose death is being investigated in Oklahoma.

Nex Benedict passed away on February 8, following a physical altercation at a high school the day prior. Chief Gary Batton confirmed that the young student’s mother is enrolled with the Choctaw Nation.

“The loss of a child is always difficult for a community and a family to accept,” Batton said in a statement on Wednesday.

“Although Nex does not appear to be affiliated with our tribe, their mother, Sue Benedict, is a registered member,” Batton continued. “Nex’s death weighs heavily on the hearts of the Choctaw people. We pray Nex’s family and their loved ones will find comfort,” Batton concluded.

Nex’s death has directed widespread attention to Oklahoma, where Republican officials have increasingly adopted policies hindering the rights and freedoms of Two Spirit and LGBTQ+ people. Sue Benedict has embraced her child’s gender identity and has vowed to donate funds to other youth experiencing some of the same struggles.

Two Spirit and LGBTQ+ advocates incorrectly identified Nex as being a citizen of the Cherokee Nation, whose reservation borders that of the Choctaw Nation. Cherokee Chief Hoskin Jr. expressed support for the Benedict family on Tuesday.

“As Chief, the health and welfare of all children within the Cherokee Nation Reservation is of concern,” Hoskin said in a statement.

Nex attended Owasso High School in Owasso, located on the Cherokee Reservation. Local authorities are investigating the death and have said they will forward the results of the investigation to prosecutors in Tulsa County for potential action.

Hoskin has offered the support of the Cherokee Nation Marshal Service as the investigation continues. The Owasso Police Department indicated in a statement on Tuesday that interviews would be taking place “over the course of the next two weeks.”

Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt (R), a Republican who happens to be a citizen of the Cherokee Nation, has not spoken publicly about the death. He has repeatedly derided efforts to address diversity, equity and inclusion as discriminatory.

But a senior official with President Joe Biden, a Democrat, has weighed in. White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre offered a message of support from the administration in a post on social media.

“Every young person deserves to feel safe and supported at school,” Jean-Pierre wrote on her official government account. “Our hearts are with Nex Benedict’s family, their friends, and their entire school community in the wake of this horrific tragedy.”

“For many LGBTQI+ students across the country, this may feel personal and deeply painful,” Jean-Pierre continued. “There is always someone you can talk to if you’re going through a hard time. Dial 988 and press 3 to reach a counselor dedicated to serving LGBTQI+ young people.

According to the 2023 LGBTQ+ Youth Report, a project of Human Rights Campaign and the University of Connecticut, more than half of transgender and gender-expansive youth feel unsafe at school. In particular, nearly a third said they feel unsafe in school restrooms.

“All students, including trans and gender-expansive students like Nex, have the right to feel safe and protected while attending school,” Tori Cooper, the campaign director of Community Engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative at the Human Rights Campaign, said in a statement on Wednesday. “That Nex was only 16 years old compounds this tragic injustice and they should have lived to see a fulfilling and authentic life.”

The 2023 study was based on a survey of nearly 3,000 LGBTQ+ youth ages 13-18 nationwide, according to the organization. Some 0.6 percent of respondents identified themselves as American Indian or Alaska Native.

According to Owasso Public Schools, a “physical altercation” took place in a bathroom at the high school on February 7. The Owasso police responded to a local hospital on the same day of the incident.

Police then said they were informed that a “juvenile” was taken back to a hospital on February 8, the same day as Nex’s passing.

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

i'm in my education class.

my professor talks about how earlier in the semester, a student came up to him asking to speak after class. how he pulled up a chair, offered the kid some tea while they chatted. how the fourteen year old girl asked him in detail what, if she disclosed anything, my professor would have to tell and to whom as a mandatory reporter. how my professor told her. how the kid said never mind and left after being told that if she disclosed any parental abuse, he would have to report it to the school social worker and she would get dcfs involved. how my professor spent his prep period fighting tears. how he talked to the guidance counselor anyway out of concern and nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened.

i'm in my education class.

a classmate, on the verge of tears, recounts a harrowing experience in which their little sister survived a school shooting. how their sixteen year old baby sister was texting the family group chat while it was happening, repeating, i love you, i'm sorry, i love you i love you i love you and how they had to pull over on the way to their parents' house to cry and throw up and hyperventilate on the phone with police who couldn't say anything other than we're on it, we know, we're trying. how the kids got the rest of the week off. how they went back to school eight days later and no administrators told them or their families or the community anything. how the kids had panic attacks at every fire alarm or slammed door for the rest of the year, and nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened.

i'm in my education class.

we read legislature about nation-wide book bannings and the knee-jerk backlash against critical race theory and the fact that educators in my state can't even call a student by a nickname anymore without parent validation, much less pronouns. about the queer kids, the trans kids, the kids of color, the marginalized kids, who are being institutionally harmed by practices we are forced to adopt, lest we get stripped of our licensure. we read about how current curricula doesn't just silence voices, it crushes them. about how everything we've been doing is wrong. how we aren't allowed to change it unless we give up our livelihoods. or get lucky with a good principal. or sacrifice things we didn't ever think we'd have to sacrifice when we were starry eyed and seventeen and dreaming of getting accepted into a university that was gonna teach us how to be good at this. good to my kids. a good teacher. but none of that happened. nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened.

i'm in my education class.

i remember the lockdowns and the bomb threats and the fear. huddled against the wall, my phone on the other side of the room so i couldn't say goodbye if it was real. i remember the guidance counselor's blank face, the teachers who never reported anything. the abuse at home no one ever found out about until i was all grown up and out of the house. i remember the callousness of readings, the isolation of never being the standard. feeling lost and hurt and misunderstood.

and i'm tired. and i'm scared. and i'm devastated that in a few short months, i'm going to be in a classroom with thirty children looking at me for what to do. and i want to serve them. what if i fail?

my classmate says well what are we supposed to do? we can't just not go into the classroom. we're teachers.

i'm in my education class.

nothing ever fucking changes.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Nathalie Baptiste at HuffPost:

WASHINGTON ― Hundreds of mostly white women gathered at a swanky downtown hotel to hear prominent conservative speakers and strategize with other moms about how to spread their message across the country. Decked out in everything from stylish pantsuits, light-up American-flag jackets and, obviously, Donald Trump swag, the crowd at the Moms for Liberty Joyful Warriors National Summit cheered and hollered as speaker after speaker spewed hate about transgender people ― all under the guise of protecting children.

[...] At the 2024 summit this week, the focus was on fearmongering about trans kids and criticizing school employees who support them. “There’s no such thing as a transgender child,” Tiffany Justice, a co-founder of Moms for Liberty, told HuffPost in an interview. Her position is a common one among conservatives, who have taken to attacking trans rights around the country ― even as less than 1% of the U.S. population identifies as trans. The right wing has attacked gender-affirming care as “child abuse,” though the American Pediatrics Association says such care can be lifesaving by reducing the risk of suicidal ideation.

Seth Dillon, CEO of the conservative satire website Babylon Bee, talked about “gender madness” when he addressed the crowd. Actor Rob Schneider, who had a prime-time speaking slot on Thursday night, claimed that children were getting “mutilated.” Texas state Rep. Shawn Thierry, who lost her primary this spring, announced that she was leaving the Democratic Party in part because of members’ views on transgender youth. Maud Maron, a former New York City community education council member who was removed from her post for sending anti-transgender text messages, claimed men were playing in women’s sports. “I think the federal government pushing child abuse really concerns American parents,” Justice said when asked why there was so much focus on trans issues at the summit. “Cutting off the healthy body parts of children is pretty extreme, right?” she said. “We’re cutting off the healthy body parts of girls.” She was referring to gender-affirming surgeries such as mastectomies, which are very rarely performed on minors.

At a panel on writing laws that protect parental rights, the session was laser-focused on transgender children. The speakers addressed the audience about how, through legislation, they can put a stop to “secret social transitions,” or schools transitioning children without telling their parents.

“We’re getting calls from parents saying this is happening at our school,” claimed Matt Sharp, senior counselor at Alliance Defending Freedom, a right-wing legal group. (It is not uncommon for transgender children to be out at school but not at home if they don’t feel safe telling their parents.)

[...] January Littlejohn, a Florida mom, had a similar story. She said her daughter wanted to transition after some of her friends did. The school held a meeting with the child, Littlejohn said, but refused to tell her the details of the meeting. Littlejohn had a warning to the parents in the room. “Parents of young children and grandparents, you need to be actively inoculating your children against this,” she said, claiming that “the faucet of gender ideology is free flowing” on social media. She also railed against allyship, claiming that children were being “indoctrinated” into being allies. “If you see buzzwords like ‘inclusivity’ and ‘safe and welcoming,’ that means gender ideology is alive and well in that school,” she warned.

At the Moms For Liberty’s Joyful Warriors National Summit this weekend, numerous speakers, including Tiffany Justice, Seth Dillon, and Rob Schneider, uttered out anti-trans statements.

[jackoshadows]

In early November, a small group of senior U.S. human rights diplomats met with a top official in President Joe Biden's State Department to make one final, emphatic plea: We must keep our word. Weeks before, Secretary of State Antony Blinken and the administration delivered their most explicit ultimatum yet to Israel, demanding the Israel Defense Forces allow hundreds more trucksloads of food and medicine into Gaza every day — or else. American law and Biden's own policies prohibit arms sales to countries that restrict humanitarian aid. Israel had 30 days to comply.

In the month that followed, the IDF was accused of roundly defying the U.S., its most important ally. The Israeli military tightened its grip, continued to restrict desperately needed aid trucks and displaced 100,000 Palestinians from North Gaza, humanitarian groups found, exacerbating what was already a dire crisis "to its worst point since the war began."

Several attendees at the November meeting — officials who help lead the State Department's efforts to promote racial equity, religious freedom and other high-minded principles of democracy — said the United States' international credibility had been severely damaged by Biden's unstinting support of Israel. If there was ever a time to hold Israel accountable, one ambassador at the meeting told Tom Sullivan, the State Department's counselor and a senior policy adviser to Blinken, it was now.

Soon after, when the 30-day deadline was up, Blinken made it official and said that Israelis had begun implementing most of the steps he had laid out in his letter — all thanks to the pressure the U.S. had applied.

Time and again, Israel crossed the Biden administration's red lines without changing course in a meaningful way, according to interviews with government officials and outside experts. Each time, the U.S. yielded and continued to send Israel's military deadly weapons of war, approving more than $17.9 billion in military assistance since late 2023, by some estimates. The State Department recently told Congress about another $8 billion proposed deal to sell Israel munitions and artillery shells. "It's hard to avoid the conclusion that the red lines have all just been a smokescreen," said Stephen Walt, a professor of international affairs at Harvard Kennedy School and a preeminent authority on U.S. policy in the region. "The Biden administration decided to be all in and merely pretended that it was trying to do something about it."

Throughout the contentious year inside the State Department, senior leaders repeatedly disregarded their own experts. They cracked down on leaks by threatening criminal investigations and classifying material that was critical of Israel. Some of the agency's top Middle East diplomats complained in private that they were sidelined by Biden's National Security Council. The council also distributed a list of banned phrases, including any version of "State of Palestine" that didn't have the word "future" first. Two human rights officials said they were prevented from pursuing evidence of abuses in Gaza and the West Bank.

In the summer of 2021, the State Department reached out to the Israeli government and asked about the 15-year-old who said he was raped at the Russian Compound. The next day, the Israeli government raided the nonprofit that had originally documented the allegation, Defense for Children International — Palestine, and then designated the group a terrorist organization.

U.S. Ambassador to Israel Jack Lew told the Times of Israel he worried that a generation of young Americans will harbor anti-Israel sentiments into the future. He said he wished that Israel had done a better job at communicating how carefully it undertook combat decisions and calling attention to its humanitarian successes to counter a narrative in the American press that he considers biased. "The media that is presenting a pro-Hamas perspective is out instantaneously telling a story," Lew said. "It tells a story that is, over time, shown not to be completely accurate. 'Thirty-five children were killed.' Well, it wasn't 35 children. It was many fewer." "The children who were killed," he added, "turned out to have been the children of Hamas fighters."

Immediately after the ICJ's order about the Rafah invasion, officials in the State Department's Middle East and communications divisions drafted a list of proposed public statements to acknowledge the importance of the court and express concern over civilians in the city. But Matthew Miller, the State Department spokesperson, nixed almost all of them. He told the officials in a May 24 email that those on the White House's National Security Council "aren't going to clear" any recognition of the ruling or criticism of Israel. That was an early sign that the State Department was taking a back seat in shaping war policy. In its place, the NSC — largely led by Jake Sullivan, Brett McGurk and Amos Hochstein — assumed a larger role. While the NSC has grown significantly in size and influence over the decades, State Department officials repeatedly told me they felt marginalized this past year.

[foster-the-world]

Friends from California came for another night. Girls had missed them the first time so they were very happy. Also, got to have a sleepover. It took a little warming up but the three girls were getting along well by the end. It was very sweet. They called themselves the 7 club.

Baby boy not so much. He was at his worse last night. He really can't handle visitors. He's happy to have them but it just makes him act like a maniac. He's asthma cough is still not great. We are starting week three. I've kept him out of the park because its triggered by running and he can't help himself. Luckily, he's been into hitting the ball so at least we get outside. I do it in an empty field so all of the other parents don't hate us.

Googling away for a solution. I think we will go to urgent care after work to see if they will prescribe a steroid. I get worried about the side effects but I really do not want him to suffer through another four weeks of this. Especially because we are going to Canada. He's been so, so excited for the trip.

All of us are going swimming Saturday morning. I'm hoping it won't cause coughing. If it does we will have to take him home :(

His neuropsych eval is six appointments so we are already missing so, so much work. I was able to get rebel a finger prick test after work hours. That's something. Want to get that over with.

Sitter's coming tonight for baby boy so that I can take the girls to my husband's baseball game. His two best friends (from childhood on) have kids the same age as the girls. When they were little we were at the weekly games. With baby boy I haven't worked up the energy at all this season. With his lungs a mess he can't go even if he wouldn't behave poorly.

So far, no negative reports from camp about him. He must be much better behaved there then he often is with us. Or better then he was last night. The head counselor has asthma so at least she understands that aspect. Yesterday everyone went to the math museum. The girls are taking a weekly robotics class there - so very familiar. Next week they all go to Coney Island. Baby boy loves, loves, loves Coney Island. Although the trip makes me nervous for him. Of course, I'm neurotic about everything with him.

Trying to decide if the girls should do a Saturday Art class at the Cloisters. I think they would like it but also kind of don't want to give up our Saturdays. It's October - December. At the same time there is a free science class that you go when you want. So maybe skip this time?? I looked into classes at the National History Museum - apparently your whole family has to interview in order to get a spot. So over the top for a two hour after school activity.

[antiporn-activist]

The crisis in American girlhood

Stark findings on the pervasive sadness, suicidal thoughts and sexual violence endured by teen girls have jolted parents and the wider public

By Donna St. George, Katherine Reynolds Lewis and Lindsey Bever

February 17, 2023

When Sophie Nystuen created a website for teens who had experienced trauma, her idea was to give them space to write about the hurt they couldn’t share. The Brookline, Mass., 16-year-old received posts about drug use and suicide. But a majority wrote about sexual violence.

These expressions of inner crisis are just a glint of the startling data reported by federal researchers this week. Nearly 1 in 3 high school girls said they had considered suicide, a 60 percent rise in the past decade. Nearly 14 percent had been forced to have sex. About 6 in 10 girls were so persistently sad or hopeless they stopped regular activities.

The new report represents nothing short of a crisis in American girlhood. The findings have ramifications for a generation of young women who have endured an extraordinary level of sadness and sexual violence — and present uncharted territory for the health advocates, teachers, counselors and parents who are trying to help them.

The data comes from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey, conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from a nationally representative sample of students in public and private high schools. “America’s teen girls are engulfed in a growing wave of sadness, violence and trauma,” the CDC said.

“It’s alarming,” Education Secretary Miguel Cardona said Thursday of the report. “But as a father of a 16-year-old and 19-year-old, I hear about it. It’s real. I think students know what’s going on. I think sometimes the adults are just now realizing how serious it is.”

But high school girls are speaking out, too, about stresses that started before the pandemic — growing up in a social media culture, with impossible beauty standards, online hate, academic pressure, economic difficulties, self doubt and sexual violence. The isolation and upheaval of covid made it tougher still.

‘Teens are really good at hiding it.’

When Caroline Zuba started cutting her arms in ninth grade, she felt trapped: by conflict at home, by the school work that felt increasingly meaningless, by the image her friends and teachers had of a bubbly, studious girl. Cutting replaced the emotional pain with a physical pain.

She confided in a trusted teacher, who brought in the school counselors and her mother. But Zuba’s depression worsened and, at age 15, she attempted suicide. That sparked the first of a series of hospitalizations over the summer and subsequent school.

Now a 17-year-old junior at a public high school in Potomac, Md., Zuba relies on therapy, medication, exercise and coping strategies. She started a mental health club at her high school to support classmates also struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.

At the lowest point of her depression, she said, she kept many secrets from her friends, parents and teachers because she felt stuck in her role: a cheerful high achiever who had it all together.

“My mom’s like my best friend, and there’s no way she would have ever expected it,” Zuba said. “Teens are really good at hiding it, which is really sad.”

Internalizing conflict, stress and fear

While the teen mental health crisis was clear before the CDC report, the stark findings have jolted parents and the wider public.

“These are not normal numbers,” said Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy. “When you grow up with this, I think the risk is thinking, ‘Well, this is just how it is.’”

The reasons girls are in crisis are probably complex, and may vary by race, ethnicity, class and culture. Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd points out that “girls are more likely to respond to pain in the world by internalizing conflict and stress and fear, and boys are more likely to translate those feelings into anger and aggression,” masking their depression.

Weissbourd added that girls also are socialized not to be aggressive and that in a male-dominated culture girls can be gaslit into thinking there is something wrong with them when problems or conflicts arise. “They can be prone to blaming themselves,” he said.

Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University and author of the book “iGen,” said that increases in most measures of poor mental health in the past decade were more pronounced for girls than boys.

She said part of the problem is that digital media has displaced the face-to-face time teens once had with friends, and that teens often don’t get enough sleep. Adding to those influences are the hours teens spend scrolling social media. For girls, she said, this often means “comparing your body and your life to others and feeling that you come up wanting.”

That’s not to say everything that people do on smartphones is problematic, Twenge said. “It’s just social media in general and internet use show the strongest correlations with depression,” she said.

Ben Handrich, a school counselor at South Salem High School in Salem, Ore., said teen girls often feel that “people are watching them — that no matter what they do, there’s this invisible audience judging their movements, their actions, the way they smile, the way they eat.”

Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist and author of “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers,” said it’s important to note that the CDC data was collected in the fall of 2021, a time when many teens were anxious about returning to in-person school and wearing masks.

“Teenagers were miserable,” Damour said. “It absolutely confirms what we were looking at clinically at that time. We don’t know what the next wave of data will tell us.”

Damour noted that the CDC findings are distressing because today’s teens, in many ways, are in better physical health and more risk-averse than most previous generations.

“We’re raising the best-behaved generation of teenagers on record,” said Damour. “They drive with seat belts, they smoke less, they have less sex, they wear helmets. They do all these things that we did not do.”

And yet they are in crisis.

Whistles and ‘gross comments’

Many girls across the country describe teen cultures of casual slut-shaming, of peers greeting girls with sexist slurs such as “whore” or “ho,” based on what they wear or how they look.

In Los Angeles, Elida Mejia Elias says it’s a no-win situation. “If you’re skinny, they judge you for being skinny and if you’re fat, they judge you for being fat,” explains the 18-year-old, a senior.

In ninth grade, a friend of Mejia Elias’s sent a naked picture of herself to a boy she was dating, at his urging, and he spread it around to his friends. “Everyone was talking bad about her. They were calling her names, like ‘ho,’” said Mejia Elias. “That affected her mental health. She needed to get therapy.”

In Maryland, at her Bethesda public high school, 14-year-old Tulip Kaya said that girls in her friend group hear whistles or “gross comments” about their breasts and are texted unsolicited penis pictures by boys at school. “If there’s anything slightly unique about you, you’re not going to have a fun time, and you will be targeted,” she said.

Social media can be overwhelming. “On Snapchat and TikTok, you see all these pretty girls with tiny waists and a big bottom. I know I’m only 14, but it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with myself,” Kaya said. “When I start to feel like that, I will delete the app for a little while.”

Girls interviewed by The Post expressed uncertainty and self-doubt over everything from what to wear, what to post or comment on social media, what it meant if someone wasn’t following them back on a social platform, and even in daily interactions. When in-person school resumed, during the fall of 2021 for many, routine encounters and moments felt weird after a year or more of separation from peers.

“Sometimes I don’t want to wear shorts because I don’t have the body type I had in middle school,” said Leilah Villegas, of Eastvale, Calif., who ran track before the pandemic. Now in 10th grade, she’s started running again, but her changed body brings pangs of self-consciousness.

Aanika Arjumand, 16, from Gaithersburg, Md., who sits on her county’s Domestic Violence Coordinating Council, said she was not surprised by the increases in sexual violence.

“We deal with a lot of cases on like teen dating violence and kind of informing schools about teen dating violence because the health curriculum right now basically does not cover abuse or sexual violence as much as it should,” she said.

School itself can sometimes be physically unsafe, as happened with Harker, a 13-year-old in Savannah, Ga., who spoke on the condition that her full name not be used because of the sensitivity of the issue.

At school, she received unwanted attention from a boy in sixth grade. He would whisper in her ears and grab her shoulders. Once, he seized her across her chest and did not release her until she screamed. A teacher was nearby, but she said the boy went unpunished and remained in her classes. The teen has resorted to learning at home.

“They didn’t believe me even though there were witnesses,” she said. “A boy in school can get away with something, but if I do one mess-up, I get called out for it.

Unrealistic beauty standards and financial pressure

At the Bronx High School of Science in New York, 17-year-old Najiha Uddin talks about a White beauty standard perpetuated in mainstream and social media, which she says girls of color can’t possibly meet. She and others describe status-oriented peers and media messages about shoes, clothes, styles and experiences that outstrip their families’ means.

For Montanna Norman, 18, a senior at a private high school in Washington during the fall of 2021, the killing of unarmed Black men by police was foremost in her mind after the murder of George Floyd. At the time she was the co-leader of her school’s Black Student Union. “The toll that that took on my mental health was a lot,” she said.

Some of her friends have contemplated, or attempted, suicide, Norman said. “You wish you could do more to help,” she said.

Garvey Mortley, a 14-year-old in Bethesda, Md., who is Black, said she has been teased because of her hair and still feels microaggressions. “Racism can be a stressor for depression or a cause of depression because of the bullying that happens, not just Black kids but Asian kids and Hispanic kids who feel they are unwanted,” she said.

Students who are LGBTQ face some of the highest rates of depressive symptoms and sexual violence, including rape. In 2021, nearly 1 in 4 reported an attempt to take their life.

Rivka Vizcardo-Lichter, a student activist in Virginia, pointed out that high school is a time when many LGBTQ students are still figuring out who they are and solidifying their identity. “Even if you have an accepting environment around you, you are aware that there are millions of people who don’t want you to exist,” she said.

Waking up to a nightmare

Some of the most alarming data collected by the CDC involved the rise in suicidal thoughts among teen girls — 24 percent of teen girls have made a plan for suicide while 13 percent have attempted it, almost twice the rate for boys.

Rich and Trinna Walker, from New Albany, Ind., searched for a therapist for their 13-year-old daughter Ella but struggled to find one in the overloaded mental health-care system during the pandemic. Once Ella finally started treatment, however, her demeanor seemed to improve, they said.

“I really felt like she was doing so much better,” Trinna Walker said. Ella had been asking her dad how she could earn extra money to buy a birthday gift for her sister. She told her mom she wanted doughnuts for breakfast.

“Then we woke up to a nightmare the next morning,” Trinna said.

Ella died by suicide on Jan. 22, 2022. Her parents said they wish someone would have alerted them to the warning signs. Unknown to them, Ella was being bullied, and she was devastated by a breakup, they said.

Now the couple is urging teens to speak up when their peers are in trouble. “It was like a bomb going off,” Rich Walker said. “It’s like it mortally wounded my wife and me and Ella’s two older sisters, and then it reverberated outwardly to her friends.”

Listen to girls

Many of the girls interviewed for this story asked that adults listen to and believe girls, and stop dismissing their concerns as drama. “Adults don’t get all the pressure that teenage girls have to deal with, from appearance to the way they act to how smart they are, to the things they do,” said Villegas, the Eastvale 10th-grader. “It can be very overwhelming.”

Asma Tibta, a 10th-grader in Fairfax County, Va., said she is “close friends” with her mother but doesn’t talk about mental health at home. “I haven’t told her too much. And I don’t plan to.”

In Savannah, Harker took a break from playing “Roblox” with her friend to be interviewed. Before heading back to the game, she had one request: “I want adults to believe young girls.”

They covered every possible angle and factor, except one.

[nicole-from-co09]

Do you think it would be possible to manipulate Jeffrey into getting into conflict with the Counselor, and then to goad him online into using his dad's guns to kill the Counselor? You could keep it anonymous, so you could totally get away with it, and that pervert sperglord 100% would kill a man if he thought it would get him a crumb of pussy.

i mean yeah, i could do that. it wouldn't even be that hard honestly, i'd just have to tell him the counselor's been molesting me and that jeffery kid would be set off like that. i've seen him eat week old food straight off the floor just because a hot girl asked him to, he's like jackass levels of down for anything

the problem is, though, there's like a 50% chance he'd snap the wrong way and just end up shooting half the teachers at school, and like, i do not wanna fucking die from a stray bullet. accidental deaths are like the lamest way to go, like ‘oh wow you died in a car accident’—yeah bitch, you and fucking everybody else on earth. might as well have killed yourself, at least then you’d get a school assembly in your name about suicide prevention

when I die, i want it to be a big fucking deal, like national news big. school shootings happen like every other day around here, they wouldn’t even bother reporting it

[ineffablelunatic]

@oddsydviscous, @thattransboyaled and I have made a fabulous Ghosts highschool AU!

Thomas: Massive theatre kid, is a member of the drama club and is in every play, plays the acoustic guitar in a sappy band. He carries a satchel full of poetry and writes with an actual calligraphy pen. He has a new crush every week.

Kitty: Eats lunch in the art block every day, has had a long-term secret crush her entire time at the school. He's actually some hapless guy in one of the years above who's never spoken to her, but she's convinced herself that they're in love. Really she just wanted to have a crush, rather than actually liking him. She and Thomas are best friends.

Humphrey: Always hangs out in the library with his nose in a book, massive English nerd (the subject, not the nationality). He runs the school magazine and he's very, very shy.

Captain: Also a theatre kid, although less outrageously so, plays the trumpet in the marching band. He's the one who plays the song at the start of every Remembrance Day assembly. CCF Squadron leader. Good at languages. Also on the fencing team and joint head of the cricket team.

Mary: Hopelessly shy, almost never talks unless she's picked on by a teacher, everyone is shocked if she actually speaks. She runs the gardening club, which has a small but loyal group of members. Sometimes she bakes cookies for her close friend group.

Pat: Joint Head of the student council, also Head Boy. He runs a lot of clubs. Nobody is quite sure how he manages to attend all of them. He's not necessarily popular, but nobody actively dislikes him - after all, he's hard not to like. Except for the teachers, that is - no real reason, he gets good grades, but he talks to anyone who's next to him, no matter how many times they move him.

Julian: Typical bad boy. Poor attendance, throws parties every weekend, sticks gum under the desk, vapes in the Maths block toilets. He and Robin sell sweets behind the bike sheds. He has a lot of special offers on, but only if you're cool enough. He's also obscenely rich, but he just wants the money for extra pocket change.

Robin: Physics nerd, struggles with English. He does Julian's homework for him (he blackmails Julian into paying a fiver for each piece, or else he'll snitch). The two of them dominate the chess club. They essentially have an underground black market for contriband going. Somehow they haven't been caught yet.

Fanny: Head girl, Joint Head of the Student Council. Not very popular. She's the teacher's pet and enforces all the rules, even though it's not her job. Everyone hates her, but she gets good grades, especially in Maths. She doesn't really try in any other subject. Always telling people to tuck their shirts in and stop talking. All the Year 7s are scared of her. Her and Pat organise the discos, and she loves textiles class.

Alison: The beloved student counselor and head of Pastoral Care. The students always go to her for help, partially because she keeps a bowl of sweets on her desk. She also teaches PSHE, and she has a lot of pride flags on her wall. She's really into art, and she met Mike by sitting next to him on an art course. Lets kids do mindful colouring the day before their exams.

Mike: The PE teacher who's nice enough, but he's always on his phone and doesn't let you wear a jacket, even when it's freezing cold and he's wearing a scarf. Still, all the students like him. He'll let you sit off sport if you don't feel up to it.

Havers: Transferred mid-year, was very close with Captain before he left. Basically the only person Captain spoke to. He was one of those kids that everyone knows but nobody has a strong opinion on. He also hung out in the library a lot. He struggled with Maths, French and Spanish but was good at most other things. Very sporty - head of the cricket team alongside Captain, fastest runner, on the table tennis team. Captain is good at languages and liked to tease him about it.

Annie: A student from the Catholic school down the road who taught Mary to speak up for herself a little more. She bunks off school to hang out with Mary. She's in the year above, and so she goes off to university before Mary, but they still call each other a lot, and she comes back to visit.

Bonus info: Pat and Fanny became joint heads of the Council because it was a tie. Pat wanted to do Rock, Paper, Scissors but Fanny said it was undignified. Fanny is also somehow on the PTA, despite not being allowed.

Alison plays music in class and has fairy lights in her office. She takes her class outside for walks in the summertime - but only if they want to go, otherwise they can just sit outside. She passively talks about feminism when the class are doing something boring, punishes those straight boys for the smallest things because she knows how they act around other people. Gets kids to write other things they could say instead of swearing.

Alison's screensaver on her work computer is a wholesome meme. Julian regularly hacks into the school system, although he needs Robin's help to do it. Sometimes he changes his grades using that method. If he does too well in Drama or Art he lowers them so he looks cooler. If he has negative housepoints he removes them and replaces them with positive ones.

[canipetthatdeaddove]

I wish I could understand why it's been so difficult for me to update either blog. Probably just because there's so much going on.

I'm in my 5th week of my first semester of courses - accelerated semesters. At 3 credit hours, I'm considered full-time, and jeezy creezy, it feels like it. Comms and Eco Literacy are the classes, and I feel like I've learned so much in such a short amount of time. The most intimidating thing is learning how to engage research material in an ethical and effective way. Imposter syndrome is going to be very difficult to manage, as is maintaining a high level of personal and academic integrity. I already know I have a tendency to confirm biases, so I need to be prepared to check that regularly. I cheated several times through a college-level course in high school and one of my last-semester course finals in my first go-around in college. Since then, I've learned about how to prevent myself from being in a situation where I might be tempted to cheat in the first place, etc. But I worry about myself. I always will, probably. Probably because I judge myself on a core level about being someone capable of that. That's a whole 'nother discussion.

Aside from the most intimidating thing, the most CHALLENGING thing is maintaining my schedule. Wait, back up, it's actually creating a functional schedule in the first place. A couple of weeks ago, I was 3 days late turning in an assignment because I didn't fully comprehend the timeline or number of submissions an assignment required. 50% deduction. I have precious little room for bullshit mistakes like that on accelerated courses. I'm anxious about this because I was declined funding from the Choctaw nation because in my very last semester at KU (the semester I was spiraling, and, ya know, cheating on exams) I fell below 2.0 gpa (big surprising yeah?). I know I'll manage well above that by the end of this term, but... WORRIES. ALL THE WORRIES.

Aside from school, I'm running my own SMART Recovery meeting finally, still helping out with Wellbriety (that situation has changed SO much and it's very... sobriety testing), volunteering for the PTO, volunteering my time with a native plant nursery, doing the part-time job, making and selling jewelry, still grooming and dog sitting, still gardening and landscaping...

It's so much. It's too much.

I have ended my participation in a leadership program where my "mentor" ghosted my for nearly a month. I just left the voicemail today, so I'll likely be dealing with the fallout of that tomorrow. Maybe I'll blog about it lol.

Today was also my final session with my rehab therapist, and I didn't realize it. So two mentors down in one day. And I'm kind of crushed. The one that ghosted me promised me all this help with getting my finances together, and it was, like, possibly the most valuable carrot you could have dangled in front of me. In a Long List of Things, it's The One Thing that must be tackled before I can start making my dreams come true. It's also the one problem I can't find a single source of help for. Today I went to the library to check out the library databases and just spend time in between appointments NOT BUYING BEADS AT MICHAELS CRAFT STORE and perused the finances section. Not a single book on basic budgeting. It was all how-to-get-rich stuff.

And while yeah I'm definitely taking note for, like, the FIFTH non-profit I need to create to address this educational shortcoming for adults in recovery, I would like to not have to do something entirely from the ground up. A mentor would be so, SO nice. It seems demanding or needy, but I need someone to sit with me once a week, twice a month maybe, and help me create and go over my books with me until I've gained the skill and accountability to do it myself. The credit counselor said, "You need to start with a budget."

Sir. SIR. There is a big ol' gap between where I'm at and competently creating and following a budget. There's like... many steps. And maybe most people learned those steps from a parent, or in some way had access to that education in a way that impacted their behavior patterns, but many many people did not. And from what I can tell, those folks and myself are utterly left behind by almost every program. State aid, DCF, EBT, TANF, Bridges Over Poverty, none of these government or non-profit private sector agencies provides financial literacy/competency training. I asked my regular therapist where I could start from a behavioral stand point, and while we did come to a solution-based answer by the end of the session, there were crickets for several minutes while I challenged my therapist to tell me something other than "start with a budget". I'm seeking and trying and still not gaining any ground on this. It's depressing because it's interconnected to so many other things, but just living in poverty in general. It inhibits my ability to do so much.

Anyway, there's been a lot of isolation despite being busy. I'm lonely to the max, and trying to stand up for myself lately has been draining. I'm not good at it, I never know if the timing is correct or if its justified, if I'm doing it the right way or did I just ruin a connection/friendship, etc. I can't tell if I'm being negative laying out my challenges or just being real.

I do know that I'm in full relapse-mode, and I've been mindful of the substance cravings. I have 7 days to go before I reach 1 year sobriety.

There have been good and wonderful things lately, too - took my daughter to a Bee Fest, all the lovely time spent out at Lake Cheney working with native plants, my beadwork, a glorious morning walk the other day, fall and my garden, and all the growth I've experienced.

I miss being here, though. It's such a regular part of my processing and emotional health to have my blogs, and it's largely absent right now and I feel it pretty hard. In all of this "becoming", it's hard to spend any time just "being".

The olive oil store (part time job) got robbed while I was in it. (A widow's mite. It's a xtian owned shop so of course there were widow's mites.) I'm really tired of xtian music but could dedicate a whole blog post to it XD The robbing thing was weird. Ren fest this coming weekend. Hope I get to go!

I miss you folks. I appreciate knowing that anyone is still keeping an eye out for me at all. The holidays are on the horizon and like all good bi-polars, it's time to get crazy. But I gotta try and not this year and stay stable and sober, and I should try and learn on this space for some grounding. Okay I gotta stick to that sleep schedule - sometimes its the only thing between me and oblivion lol.

[lorrainedeverra]

The Mind's Invisible Chains

Have you ever felt afraid of something without knowing exactly what it is? What if the fear is there, lingering, but its source remains a mystery?

Now, there's a difference between what we call 'fear' and 'anxiety.' One might also consider adding the term 'depression' into the mix. So, what's the difference? Let's explore.

First and foremost, I am no expert on these matters. What I share is simply based on what I've learned over time. I welcome corrections if you find any inaccuracies in my words.

According to research by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (2021)¹, signs of fear can manifest physically as:

- Rapid heartbeat

- Shortness of breath

- Sweating

- Trembling

- Chills

- Dry mouth

- Nausea

Additionally, the physical and psychological signs and symptoms of anxiety include:

- Feeling nervous, restless, or tense

- A sense of impending doom

- Increased heart rate

- Shortness of breath

- Sweating

- Dizziness

- Ear ringing

- Trouble concentrating

- Trouble sleeping

- Gastrointestinal (GI) distress

- Difficulty controlling worry or ruminating

- Urge to avoid anxiety-triggering situations

- Feeling insecure

As you can see, fear and anxiety share many similarities, which can make it difficult to distinguish between them.

As my psychology professor once explained, fear is being afraid of something you are certain about, while anxiety is the fear of something unknown—an unease without a clear source.

Let's have examples.

・❥・Situation 1. You are terrified because you fear the injection.

・❥・Situation 2. You planned to go to the beach today, but you worry that it might rain despite the sun shining brightly, which would mean your trip could be canceled.

In the first situation, fear is present. You're afraid of the injection, and you can clearly identify what causes your worry.

According to NAMI, our fear responses are automatic reactions.

In the second situation, anxiety is present. You’re worried about a potential event, even though it may not actually happen. For instance, on the first day of school, you might feel anxious about introducing yourself to the class, with numerous 'what if' questions arising in your mind.

According to NAMI, anxiety can be confusing for our bodies, as it may stem from past or present experiences and influence our actions. Kirk (2013)² also notes that anxiety involves worrying about potential threats that have not yet occurred, or might never occur.

Depression is indeed more complex and serious than simply feeling down. It’s important not to use the term lightly. To understand why, let’s delve into the meaning of the word.

Depression is a mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and disinterest in various aspects of life. It can impact sleep, eating habits, and daily activities. According to the CDC (2023)³, you might consider yourself depressed if these feelings persist for two weeks or more.

If you're experiencing fear, that's perfectly normal. As mentioned earlier, fear is our body's natural response to a stimulus.

However, if you’re feeling anxiety or depression, it’s important to reach out to individuals you trust, such as family, friends, or others. Seeking professional advice from a counselor or therapist, psychiatrist, and psychologist can also be beneficial. They can help you manage and cope with these feelings.

Find ways to help your mind alleviate nervousness and sadness. Spend time with loved ones, engage in your hobbies, exercise regularly, maintain a consistent sleep schedule, and even try to smile, even if it feels forced.

Trick your brain into feeling better because, according to research, a smile can indeed boost your mood. Dr. Isha Gupta, a neurologist from IGEA Brain and Spine, explained in an article by DiGiulio (2017)⁴ that smiling triggers a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing hormones such as dopamine and serotonin.

"Dopamine increases our feelings of happiness, while serotonin release is linked to reduced stress. Low serotonin levels are associated with depression and aggression," Dr. Gupta stated. "Similarly, low dopamine levels are also connected to depression.”

Don’t give up! You’re not alone on this journey. As I often remind myself, "No matter how many times you fall, just keep standing up. Each fall teaches you lessons, making you stronger and better for the future." Just take a deep breath and hold on.

I hope you found this blog helpful. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

References:

𓇢𓆸 ¹ Hendel, H. J. (2021). Anxiety and Fear: What's the Difference? National Alliance on Mental Illness. https://www.nami.org/anxiety-disorders/anxiety-and-fear-whats-the-difference/

𓇢𓆸 ² Kirk, N. V. (2023). Understanding fear, anxiety, and phobias. McLean Hospital. https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/fear-phobias#:~:text=Fear%20is%20the%20response%20to,the%20lookout%20and%20remain%20aware

𓇢𓆸 ³ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Sadness and depression. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/emotion/sadness/index.html#:~:text=When%20a%20sad%20mood%20lasts,often%20or%20all%20the%20time

𓇢𓆸 ⁴ DiGiulio, S. (2017). Smiling can trick your brain into happiness and boost your health. 2017. BETTER by TODAY. https://www.nbcnews.com /better/health/smiling-can-trick-your-brain -happiness-boost-your-health-ncna822591

1 comment

zanenunez 2nd Sep

Wow

[remuswriting]

REMUSWRITING PORTFOLIO

My fics that I believe are representations of my best haikyuu!! works. All links are the AO3 links since those have been edited since posting.

If you're interested in all my fics, then there's my AO3 and my masterlist.

Iwaizumi Hajime

take your time (i'll be here)

university | fluff | domestic | 1.9k

It’s dead-week, and Y/N wishes Hajime would change his major.

Kageyama Tobio

resentment

twin au | angst | misunderstandings | 7.9k

Kageyama believes Y/N, his twin brother, is the complete opposite of him, which means they have to hate each other.  The only thing is that Y/N didn’t get the memo.

Kozume Kenma

cut the cameras

university | angst | poly relationship | wip

It’s Y/N’s final year of university when his advisor nominates him to submit a short film for the Tokyo Film Festival for a final grade. Cue the lights, the cameras, making more friends than he expected to, and having realizations that flip his entire world upside down.

Miya Atsumu

online friends

pre-relationship | fluff | angst | 2.3k

Create a Twitter thread about Naruto and volleyball, and Miya Atsumu is now your best friend.

Miya Osamu

and how the stars shine

camp counselor | pre-relationship | 3.6k

When Sugawara has to retire from being a camp counselor after getting a teaching position, Y/N meets his new co-counselor Miya Osamu.

Miya Triplet

the narrative

triplet au | angst | hopeful ending | wip

Everyone has a different perception of Miya Y/N. Y/N doesn't know which is the right one.

Oikawa Tooru

interviews

journalist! reader | getting together | 5.8k

Oikawa makes a terrible first impression to L/N, Seijoh's newspaper editor-in-chief, when the volleyball team gets featured in the school magazine.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

where the wind takes me

post-time skip | platonic | fluff | 1.8k

Sakusa sees L/N out buying White Day gifts.

Sugawara Koushi

changes

male oc | angst | friends to rivals | 6.3k

Sato was dangerous on the court. Sugawara wished he wasn't.

hold me tight

male oc | angst | slow burn | wip

Sato Kai is a manager for Karasuno boys’ VBC and no one can get a read on him, even though he can read all of them.

Tsukishima Kei

first words

soulmate au | hanahaki disease | 20.2k

In a world where the first words your soulmate say to you is on your wrist, Y/N manages to get “hello.”

you’re already home

fluff | post-time skip | second person | nonexplicit sex | 1.2k

The words "I love you" don't feel enough to describe how much Tsukishima loves you.

Ukai Keishin

next to you

high school ukai | fluff | 5.1k

Keishin wants to play with Y/N no matter how hard he has to work for it.

an ocean away

sequel to next to you | angst | pining | 7.7k

Y/N knew he had terrible ideas, but he hoped coming back to Japan after 10 years to see Karasuno at nationals and confess to his high school boyfriend that he’s still in love with him wouldn’t be one of them.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

a sight for sore eyes

angst | miscommunication | 6k

Sometimes it's hard to accept unrequited love and move on.

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 11.10

Holidays

Area Code Day

Day of Remembrance of Ataturk (Turkey)

Day of Russian Militsiya (Russia)

Día de la Tradición (Day of Tradition; Argentina)

Dr. Livingstone, I Presume Day

Father’s Day (Estonia, Finland, Norway, Sweden)

Forget-Me-Not Day

The Goddess of Reason, Liberty & Philosophy Feast Day (a.k.a. Goddess of Reason’s Day; France)

Guinness World Records’ Day

Hari Pahlawan (Heroes' Day; Indonesia)

Harrow Day (French Republic)

International Accounting Day

International Giantess Day

International Interns Day

International Science Center and Science Museum Day

Los Santos Uprising Day (Panama)

Maputo Day (Mozambique)

McHappy Day

Microsoft Windows Day

Militia Day (Tajikistan)

National Bong Day

National Civic Pride Day

National Science Center & Science Museum Day

National Toothpaste Appreciation Day

National Wheat Day (Brazil)

National Yawning Day

National Young Reader’s Day

NET Cancer Day

Not A Father's Day

Police Day (Russia)

Quark Day

School Counselor & School Psychologist Recognition Day (Australia)

Scots Fir Day

Sesame Street Day

Sleep Dangerously Night

Toilet Day (Japan)

Toothpaste Appreciation Day

U.S. Marine Corps Day (a.k.a. USMC Day)

Wear Green Day

Winegrower and Winemaker’s Day (Ukraine)

Wizard Day

World HTLV Day

World Immunization Day

World Keratoconus Day

World Public Transport Day

World Run Day

World Science Day for Peace and Development (UN)

World Top Up Day

World Youth Day (WFDY)

Youth Day (Kyrgyzstan)

Food & Drink Celebrations

Gooseberry Day (India)

National Boilermaker Day

National Mussels Day

National Pork Belly Day

National Vanilla Cupcake Day

Independence & Related Days

First Cry of Independence Day (a.k.a. Los Santos Uprising Day; Panama)

2nd Sunday in November

Day of Prayer for the Promotion of the Redemptorist Missionary Vocation [2nd Sunday]

European Day of Wine Tourism (EU) [2nd Sunday]

Father’s Day (Estonia, Finland, Iceland, Norway, Sweden) [2nd Sunday]

Grandparents’ Day (South Sudan) [2nd Sunday]

Hasla Bayramy (Harvest Festival; Turkmenistan) [2nd Sunday]

International Tongue Twister Day [2nd Sunday] (also 3.2]

National Day of Mourning (Germany) [2nd Sunday]

National Donor Sabbath [2 Sundays before Thanksgiving]

National Pupusa Day (El Salvador) [2nd Sunday]

National Tree Festival (Tunisia) [2nd Sunday]

Orphan Sunday [2nd Sunday]

Remembrance Sunday (Australia, Canada, UK) [2nd Sunday]

Sandwich Sunday [2nd Sunday of Each Month]

Seven For Sunday [Every Sunday]

Sleepy Sunday [2nd Sunday of Each Month]

Sundae Sunday [Every Sunday]

Sunday Funday [Every Sunday]

Survey Sunday [2nd Sunday of Each Month]

Swans and Ladders Tournament (Mirano, Italy) [2nd Sunday]

Volkstrauertag (Memorial Day; Germany) [Sunday before Totensonntag]

Weekly Holidays beginning November 10 (2nd Full Week of November)

Geography Awareness Week [2nd Week]

Global Antibiotic Awareness Week [2nd Week]

International Fraud Awareness Week [2nd Week]

International Week of Science and Peace (thru 11.16] [Week Including 11.11]

National Nurse Practioner’s Week (thru 11.16]

National Split Pea Soup Week [2nd Week]

National Young Reader’s Week [2nd Week]

Operating Room Nurse Awareness Week (thru 11.16) [2nd Full Week]

Orangutan Caring Week (thru 11.16) [2nd Full Week]

Perioperative Nurse Week (thru 11.16)

Transgender Awareness Week [2nd Week]

World Kindness Week (thru 11.16) [Week Including 11.13]

Festivals Beginning November 10, 2024

Jamaican Jerk Festival (Miramar, Florida)

Mayday (Katowice, Poland)

South Florida Seafood Festival (Coconut Grove, Florida)

Feast Days

Adelin of Séez (Christian; Saint)

Áed mac Bricc (a.k.a. Aed MacBrice; Christian; Saint)

Ancestor Day IV (Pagan)

Andrew Avellino (Christian; Saint)

Arbrosimus (Christian; Saint)

Baudolino (Christian; Saint)

Chhath Parwa begins (4-Day Hindu/Vedic Festival of the Sun God Surya; Nepal)

Chhat Puja Parva begins (a.k.a. Surya Sasthi; 4-Day Hindu/Vedic Festival of the Sun God Surya; Parts of India)

Cthulu Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Elaeth (Christian; Saint)

El Lissitzky (Artology)

Festival of Cybergnosticism

Festival of Spiritual Indulgence

Festival of St. Bebiana (from beer, "to drink")

Friedrich von Schiller (Writerism)

Galungan (Celebrating Victory of Dharma over Adharma; Bali)

Grellan (Christian; Saint)

Gus the Mailman (Muppetism)

Henry IV (Positivist; Saint)

Holly Black (Writerism)

Jacob Epstein (Artology)

James Broughton (Writerism)

Justus, Archbishop of Canterbury (Christian; Saint)

Kate Seredy (Artology)

Leo I, Pope (Christian; Saint)

Look Inside Day (Starza Pagan Book of Days)

Look on the Bright Side of Life Day (Pastafarian)

Louis le Brocquy (Artology)

Lübeck martyrs (Christian; Martyrs)

St. Martin's Eve [patron saint of tavern-keepers] (a.k.a. ... 

Mārtiņi (Ancient Latvia)

Martinisingen (Germany)

Martinmas Eve

Milles, Bishop of Susa (Christian; Saint)

Neil Gaiman (Writerism)

Nincnevin (Old Scots festival celebrating Diana)

Noemí Gerstein (Artology)

Nymphia (Christian; Saint)

Old November Eve (Honoring the Goddess Nicnevin; Ancient Scotland)

Sina (Christian; Saint)

Theoctiste (Christian; Saint)

Tryphena of Rome (Christian; Saint)

Trypho, Respicius and Nympha (Christian; Martyrs)

Wangala Festival (Meghalaya, India)

Wild Hunt Day (Celtic Book of Days)

William Hogarth (Artology)

Wish-Spoiling Sports Day (Imps, Gremlins, and Grumpy Goblins; Shamanism)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Binary Day [1011] (8 of 9)

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Unfortunate Day (Pagan) [54 of 57]

Unglückstage (Unlucky Day; Pennsylvania Dutch) [27 of 30]

Premieres

Ben and Me (Disney Cartoon; 1953)

Blank Space, by Taylor Swift (Song; 2014)

Blueing the Blues, recorded by Muggsy Spanier (Song; 1939)

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band Live: 1975-85 (Live Album; 19986)

Butterflies (UK TV Series; 1978)

Catch-22, by Joseph Heller (Novel; 1960)

Change of Habit (Film; 1969)

Dash & Lily (TV Mini-Series; 2020)

Days of Future Passed, by The Moody Blues (Album; 1967)

Don’t Blame Me, by Taylor Swift (Song; 2017)

Dug’s Special Mission (Pixar Cartoon; 2009)

The French Lieutenant's Woman, by John Fowles (Novel; 1969)

Fuck (Documentary Film; 2006)

Ghost in the Shell: The New Movie (Animated Film; 2015)

God Bless America, by Irving Berlin, sung by Kate Smith (Song; 1938)

The Golden Bowl, by Henry James (Novel; 1904)

Good Noose (WB LT Cartoon; 1962)

Happy Land (Film; 1943)

Horses, by Patti Smith (Album; 1975)

The Iceman Cometh (Film; 1973)

I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night, by The Electric Prunes (Song; 1966)

The Living Desert (Documentary Film; 1953)

The Marvels (Film; 2023)

Murder on the Orient Express (Film; 2017)

My Left Foot (Film; 1989)

Nights in White Satin, by The Moody Blues (Song; 1967)

Paddington 2 (Film; 2017)

Piano Concerto in C Major, by Ferruccio Busoni (Piano Concerto; 1904)

The Polar Express (Animated Film; 2004)

Rebel Yell, by Billy Idol (Album; 1983)

Reputation, by Taylor Swift (Album; 2017)

Riot in Rhythm (Flesicher/Famous Popeye Cartoon; 1950)

Sesame Street (Children’s TV Series; 1969)

The Song of Hiawatha, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Poem; 1855)

Stranger Than Fiction (Film; 2006)

There They Go-Go-Go! (WB LT Cartoon; 1956)

Those Beautiful Dames (WB MM Cartoon; 1934)

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Film; 2017)

Toot, Whistle, Plunk and Boom (Disney Cartoon; 1953)

The Vicar of Dibley (UK TV Series; 1994)

Violin Concerto in B Minor, by Edward Elgar (Violin Concerto; 1910)

Welcome to the Pleasuredome, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (Album; 1984)

A Wizard of Earthsea, by Ursula Le Guin (Novel; 1968) [Earthsea #1]

The Wreckers, by Ethel Smyth (Opera; 1906)

Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchet (Novel; 1988) [Discworld #6]

Zuma, by Neil Young (Album; 1975)

Today’s Name Days

Andrea, Andreas, Jens, Leo (Austria)

Lav, Lavoslav, Leon (Croatia)

Evžen (Czech Republic)

Luther (Denmark)

Mardi, Mardo, Märt, Mart, Märten, Martin (Estonia)

Martti (Finland)

Léon, Noé (France)

Andrea, Andreas, Jens, Leo, Ted (Germany)

Arsenios, Arsinoe, Irodion, Milon, Orestis, Orion, Rodios, Sosipatros (Greece)

Réka (Hungary)

Andrea, Baudolino, Leone, Trifone (Italy)

Erasts, Mārcis, Mārtiņš (Latvia)

Andrius, Galvydė, Leonas, Vaišviltas (Lithuania)

Gudbjørg, Gudveig (Norway)

Andrzej, Lena, Leon, Ludomir, Nelly, Nimfa, Probus, Stefan (Poland)

Cuart, Erast, Olimp, Rodion, Sosipatru (Romania)

Tibor (Slovakia)

Andrés, León, Noé (Spain)

Martin, Martina (Sweden)

Flora, Florence, Florian, Jocelina, Joceline, Jocelyn, Jocelyne, Jocelynn, Joselyn, Joslyn, Justice, Justin, Justina, Justine, Justus (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 315 of 2024; 51 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 7 of Week 45 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Hagal (Hailstone) [Day 15 of 28]

Chinese: Month 10 (Yi-Hai), Day 10 (Wu-Yin)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025) [Wu-Chen]

Hebrew: 9 Heshvan 5785

Islamic: 8 Jumada I 1446

J Cal: 15 Wood; Sevenday [15 of 30]

Julian: 28 October 2024

Moon: 67%: Waxing Crescent

Positivist: 7 Frederic (12th Month) [Louis XI]

Runic Half Month: Nyd (Necessity) [Day 4 of 15]

Season: Autumn or Fall (Day 49 of 90)

Week: 2nd Full Week of November

Zodiac: Scorpio (Day 18 of 30)

[paigesprojectpan]

Here's Why You Shouldn't Give Me A Scholarship

You shouldn’t give me a scholarship because I have withdrawn from three courses so far in my college career. Because I chose to take seven dual-enrollment courses instead of eight in high school. Because I have severe imposter syndrome within my chosen major. Because I already have a 40,000 scholarship. Because my parents work hard and make good choices with their money. Because I am white. Because I am not going into healthcare or music, engineering, coding, or even dance. I don’t deserve a scholarship because I procrastinate and then have missing assignments and because my room is messy.

I could think of a million more reasons why you shouldn't give me a scholarship. I don’t set aside time for assignments, I do not apply often to scholarships or internships. I am not in more than two clubs on campus. But I am a summer camp counselor. I have been for five years. I pick up shifts at Steam Anchor Coffee Co. where I work. I have always picked up extra shifts. And it has never been for money. It is because I liked my job. I like working with kids. I like to write, but not when someone else tells me what to write, where I can take evidence from, how long the piece has to be, and when I have to have it complete. I like to learn, but when I find things interesting. 

I am more in the Chemistry Teacher Education major for teaching than chemistry. And as I have said, ‘if not me then who?’ If I don’t pick up this shift and help someone else out, then who will. Because the group chats are most often silent. The National Science Foundation created a nation-wide scholarship for university juniors and seniors studying to become teachers in the STEM subjects. At my school there are 3 math majors, 2 bio, and 1 chem. Me. There are no physics teachers. I was not even a junior when I received my scholarship. I was a sophomore with junior hours thanks to the 7 dual-enrollment courses in high school.

My mom is going to be so mad at me because I had to withdraw from both of my summer classes. I did not make a lick of time for either of them in the first week. And, well, it set me up for failure. Late work gets zero’s in the gradebook so I would have an ‘F’. But instead I choose ‘W’. I have withdrawn from a class before. I withdrew from a psychology course my second semester of freshman year at Clinton Community College. I was registered for 5, 16-week classes and I looked at the workload after syllabus week and said, “Nope.” I got 100% tuition reimbursement though since I withdrew during the first week.

This is starting to sound like a sob-story and I hate it.

I am thinking of completely leaving college altogether. But I do not want to be considered a drop-out. I want to get a degree in something since I am already here. But, when I come home for summer I am blinded with the amount of people that go straight into the workforce or military after high school. Or they stopped after receiving an associate’s or a certificate or license. I am not sure I am cut out for the length of time it will take me to finish my bachelor’s in Chemistry Teacher Education (especially since I withdrew from two classes this summer).

I really liked geology, but I am not sure I liked it enough to do a whole major in it. I have said this about concerts as well. I like Taylor Swift, but I’m not sure I like her enough to go sit through 3 hours of her.

Am I screwed? No one is going to give a summer job to someone wanting to start in mid-June and leaving and mid-August. No one is going to give a scholarship to someone who would rather see a ‘W’ on her college record than an ‘F’. No one is going to give a scholarship to someone who procrastinates so bad she just doesn’t do her assignments. No one is going to give a scholarship to a hypocrite.